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lucky-clover-gazette · 1 month ago

Text

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 13

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

The intimacy of last night might have been too much for either or both of them.

sorry you’re not convincing me that scene was like groundbreaking relationship-shifting magical catharsis. but this is ultimately damen’s narration and his perception has never been 1:1 with what’s actually happening, in terms of authorial intent or what i analyze

They were gazing at each other. To Damen’s delight, Laurent reached out to trace a touch down over his body. Laurent was looking at him as if he couldn’t quite believe the fact of him, as if even touch could not quite confirm it. ‘What?’ Damen was smiling. ‘You’re very,’ said Laurent, and then, flushing, ‘attractive.’ ‘Really,’ said Damen, in a rich, warm voice. ‘Yes,’ said Laurent.

this is laurent being soft, but also still being laurent. if that makes sense. the one scene we’ve gotten through his pov has shown that he overthinks every aspect of a situation—the fact that he just awkwardly states that he has observed that damen is hot, in an attempt to ground himself in some kind of objective knowledge, is both adorable and poignant

‘Well,’ Damen owned, turning his head back to Laurent eventually, ‘You are too.’ Laurent dropped his head slightly, on the edge of laughter. He said, with absurd fondness, ‘Most people tell me that right away.’

damen always thought it, but i think laurent appreciates that he didn’t say it then. he really appreciates hearing it now, because damen actually knows him. the compliment has substance and weight and importance that it otherwise wouldn’t. it’s funny bc laurent has used his beauty to manipulate damen before—the baths, verisimilitude, etc.—but i think this is the first time he actually WANTS damen to find him beautiful. maybe even the first time he wants anyone to find him beautiful, for reasons other than strategy (like with torveld)

Sweet and simple in the morning, Laurent’s beauty was heart-stopping.

“you like it simple” my thoughts about that single line of dialogue from chapter 7 is going to continue to be a subject of importance throughout these annotations, as damen ~finally gets what he wants~ from laurent (not using quotation marks bc i don't want to make it look like that's in the text, but i'm being like sarcastic/ironic/whatever)

If there had been a chance for our countries to be—’ Friends.

i like how immature his thought here is, evidenced by the fact that he doesn’t even say it. damen knows it’s silly to think about politics like this, but he’s so attached to laurent as an individual that he’s starting to see vere as a person too. which is both great, bc it shows how much his character has evolved from accepting everything he once believed, but also highlights the way damen can lose himself and his critical thinking in his attachments

'I would have been trailing around tugging on your sleeve, trying to get a look in edgewise.'

cue a bazillion pieces of fanart

After a moment, Laurent said, ‘He would have liked you.’ ‘Even after I started courting his little brother?’ said Damen carefully. He watched Laurent stop, the way that he did when he was taken by surprise, and then lift his eyes to meet Damen’s. ‘Yes,’ said Laurent softly, his cheeks reddened slightly.

this is soooo crazy for them. while i think it does represent legit development, i also think they’re kind of acting the parts of people who are lot more healed and happy than they actually are. like they feel the desire for lightheartedness and vulnerability, and don’t want to deal with the things that make them uncomfortable anymore, so they’re just committing to the bit that they’re fine and seeing where it takes them. see also: the previous sex scene. but they still have big problems (see also: the previous sex scene again) and the book is not over yet

‘No. Listen to me.’ He felt Laurent’s hand firm on the back of his neck. ‘I’m not going to let my uncle hurt you.’ Laurent’s blue gaze was calm and steady, as if he had made a decision and wanted Damen to know it. ‘It’s what I came here last night to say. I’m going to take care of it.’ ‘Promise me,’ Damen heard himself say. ‘Promise me we won’t let him—’ ‘I promise.’

oh he already knows he’s trading himself for damen’s not-son, doesn’t he. which also makes the uncertain and uncomfortable vibes of the previous scene make a lot of sense. it’s kind of a repeat of their sex scene in prince’s gambit, except this time only laurent knows it’s probably the last time (or one of the last times) they’ll ever have together

actually wow yeah, laurent’s insistence here—“listen to me, it’s what i came to say, i promise’—that really nails down the finality and desperation he’s feeling. and damen just Didn’t Get It, and still doesn’t. which is interesting bc he was so pleased in the last scene that laurent was finally being honest, and accepting him for who he was. while laurent was accepting damen finally, and wasn’t even really LYING about his intentions (like right here, he pretty much deadass says it), damen is so distracted and overwhelmed by this romantic victory that he doesn’t notice the tragedy looming

also—“let him” what, exactly? “hurt him?” do you think laurent thinks damen knows what the regent specifically did to him, and could do to his son? bc if i didn’t know that he didn’t know, this line would pretty much indicate that he did. wow that is an incoherent sentence.

Laurent said it seriously, his voice honest; no game playing, just the truth.

damen isn’t actively trying to deceive the reader, but he is definitely incorrect in his certainty a lot of the time. but then again, those words were the truth—laurent is not going to let his uncle hurt damen’s not-kid, and it was the reason he visited last night.

The kissing this time had an echo of last night’s desperation, a need to block out the outside world and stay for a moment longer in this cocoon, Laurent’s arms winding around his neck.

okay what did i just say. we are so fucking back (in terms of actually good analysis)

‘Come in,’ said Laurent, turning his head towards the sound. Damen said, ‘Laurent,’ shocked and on full display as the door swung open. Pallas entered. Laurent greeted him with no self-consciousness at all. ‘Yes?’ Laurent’s voice was matter-of-fact. Pallas’s mouth opened. Damen saw what Pallas saw: Laurent like some dream of a newly fucked virgin, himself unmistakably above him, fully roused. He flushed all over. In Ios, he might have dallied with a lover while a household slave attended to some task in the room, but only because a slave was so far beneath him in status as not to signify. The idea of a soldier watching him make love to Laurent was breaking open his mind. Laurent had never even taken an acknowledged lover before, let alone—

ironic that damen was so overjoyed in the last chapter about this exact situation—that it was LAURENT who he had, being vulnerable and acting like his past submissive partners coughslaves —but when he actually gets spotted in this situation he’s like oohhhhhhh my goddddd nooooo!

like i know i kinda talk shit about akelions a lot, but the persistent theme that it’s inherently some kind of like natural entitlement of the “powerful” (royal, rich etc.) to possess and use people designated beneath them in status just truly reveals how weak and transparent their power actually is. like of course you’re going to look strong, if you only allow yourself to be seen with people you’ve placed in lower stations. some of damen’s shame here must be due in part to his akelion upbringing, but that same upbringing is WHY he got so excited about making someone as powerful and stubborn as laurent submissive and vulnerable to him. in a culture where it’s encouraged to keep it simple, he’s found himself deeply rewarded by the complication of laurent in ways he’d never anticipated, but also afraid of how that complication will come across to his countrymen.

Pallas turned blindly, and made for the door. ‘What is it?’ Laurent looked at Damen, who had detached himself and was sitting with the sheet pulled up to where he had clutched it to cover himself. And then, with the burgeoning delight of discovery, ‘Are you shy?’ ‘In Akielos we don’t,’ said Damen, ‘in front of other people.’ ‘Not even the King?’ ‘Especially not the King,’ said Damen, for whom the King still partly meant his father. ‘But how does the court know if the royal marriage has been consummated?’ ‘The King knows whether or not it has been consummated!’ Horrified. Laurent stared at him. Damen was surprised when Laurent dropped his head, and even more surprised when Laurent’s shoulders started shaking. Around the laughter emerged, ‘You wrestled him without any clothes on.’ ‘That is sports,’ said Damen. He folded his arms, thinking that Veretians lacked any sense of dignity, even as Laurent sitting up and pressing a delighted kiss to his lips had him slightly mollified.

love this lighter shot at the cultural miscommunications here. but MAN is it hard to ignore the giant dark shadow over laurent’s every word and action here. unless you’re damen i guess, but that’s part of why they’ve always worked well together (see other annotations about damen allowing laurent to feel like a person beyond his trauma because he doesn’t really understand it, while still being a fiercely protective and uniquely intuitive partner in romance and life)

Later, ‘The King of Vere really consummates his marriage in front of the court?’ ‘Not in front of the court,’ said Laurent, as if this were unspeakably foolish, ‘in front of the Council.’ ‘Guion is on the Council!’ said Damen.

it is very funny to realize how in vere, sex is basically a form of bureaucracy and political posturing. and it’s like, some people are having fun with it, but others aren’t. as opposed to akielos, where it’s also posturing but sounds like pretty much everyone who is high-class enough to have slaves is very happy to partake. unlike vere, they do it in the privacy of their bedrooms, and people are taught to believe it’s happening and respect it. in vere, if it’s NOT happening in a public forum, no one really gives a shit and it might as well not be happening at all.

basically, sex is a means of political posturing and demonstrating status in both kingdoms, but in distinctly different ways. in akielos, it’s the equivalent of subtly telling everyone at the hedge fund that you have an affluent lifestyle by wearing certain clothes and using advanced technology. you’re perceived and accepted as certified finance bro by tasteful implication. but in vere, it’s more like straight-up driving your third tesla into the office and loudly counting your money during staff meetings (i don’t know if hedge funds have staff meetings) so it’s garishly undeniable to your wealthy peers that you belong

‘I’m sorry Govart is dead. I know you were trying to keep him alive.’

“sorry for your loss, of the man you killed with a chair. we both fuckin hated the guy but he would have made great leverage” they really are rubbing off on each other <3

‘I thought he knew something that I could use against my uncle. It doesn’t matter. We’ll stop him another way.’

and what way would that be. laurent. (also, a surprise tool that will help us later!)

‘It was nothing. There was a knife fight. I got free, and Guion and I came to an arrangement.’

and it was one of the best chapters in the entire series

‘You were taken prisoner, you single-handedly escaped from the cells at Fortaine, and somehow managed to get Guion to switch sides on the way out?’ ‘Well,’ said Laurent, ‘not everyone is as bad at escaping as you are.’

laurent would enjoy tabletop roleplay gaming so much. also i love them

‘When you lost your brother, was there someone to comfort you?’ ‘Yes,’ said Laurent. ‘In a way.’ ‘Then I’m glad,’ said Damen. ‘I’m glad you weren’t alone.’ Laurent pushed himself away, up into a sitting position, and for a moment he sat, without speaking. He pushed his palms into his eye sockets. ‘What is it?’ ‘It’s nothing,’ said Laurent.

ohhhhhh my god (i wonder if mentally laurent is like, ‘well i thought he might have figured it out, but i guess not. how the fu—‘)

‘We should—’ ‘And we will.’ Laurent turned to him, sliding fingers into his hair. ‘But first, we have the morning.’

“and then i will turn myself in to my abusive creep of an uncle as a solution to the problem i’m ignoring. but for now, this is a romance novel, and i’m stepping into your genre for a change”

(which is i think the main thing i missed in my analysis of the previous chapter, by the way. i’ve written so much about damen being forced into laurent’s genre but remaining romantic despite the horrors, but that last scene was a subversion where laurent is forcing himself to ignore the horrors so he can both indulge damen’s perception of them and try to experience it himself as a relief from the imminent tragedy and his past traumas)

After, they talked.

great thing to write after a fade to black sex scene! reminds us what their relationship really is about, beyond the physicality and emotional catharsis. these two fell in love doing battle strategy, remember?

Servants brought a breakfast of fruits, soft cheese, honey and breads on round platters,

glad to see thematically appropriate fruit basket guy is still finding work, even though damen and laurent are un-marrieddivorced

Damen took the seat closest to the wall, affixing the gold pin he had recovered to the cotton at his shoulder. Laurent sat in a relaxed pose, in only pants and a loose shirt, its collar and sleeves still open. Laurent was talking.

i love prince’s gambit

Damen realised that Laurent was letting him in to a part of himself he had never shared before, and he found himself drawn in to the political complexities, even as the experience felt new, and a little revelatory. Laurent never opened his thoughts like this, but always kept his planning intensely private, making his decisions alone.

damen i think you’re underestimating how much laurent showed you in the last book, compared to literally every other person he talks to

‘You are not keeping slaves in your household.’ ‘I can’t imagine why,’ said Damen.

smash cut to the cover of captive prince, a novel by cs pacat

‘You hate the idea of slavery. It turns your stomach.’ Damen said it, a flat statement of truth. ‘If I’d been anyone else, you would have freed me on the first night.’

doing my analysis for me. how far we’ve come

‘When I argued the case for slavery in Arles you didn’t try to change my mind.’ ‘It is not a subject for an exchange of ideas. There is nothing to say.’ ‘There will be slaves in Akielos. We are a slave culture.’

wow, i’m actually kind of surprised damen hasn’t already committed to dismantling the entire practice. i know he gets there eventually, and maybe he wants to at this point—but he’s still like, “well other people are going to do it and that’s their right.” maybe that’s the incomplete part of his development here: he’s decided that it’s wrong for HIM to be doing, as a result of his experiences and tastes, but hasn’t quiet grasped that is a universally wrong practice, even if it’s his friends and allies doing it

Damen said, ‘Are pets and their contracts so different? Did Nicaise have a choice?’ ‘He had the choice of the poor with no other way to survive, the choice of a child powerless to his elders, the choice of a man when his King gives him an order, which is no choice at all, and yet still more than is afforded to a slave.’

yep, i’m a little rusty but i do remember a lot of my laurent character analysis having to do with the fact that he would rather be doing something on purpose even if it isn’t something he wants to do, than given no choice or ability to HAVE thoughts or preferences at all. free will is extremely important to laurent, and the idea of losing it is both terrifying and shameful to him. so even in situations of financial desperation or lack of power due to age or status, laurent still believes that there is more of choice to willing submission than just never being “afforded” the ability to make choices in the first place—even if slaves live under less stressful or overall comfier conditions. even the most desperate, poor, powerless victim still has more personhood and autonomy allowed to them than a slave. and without that foundation of personhood and autonomy, there is no purpose to life.

laurent thrives on having purpose, and suffers without it. and in his big pov chapter we're also told that he often has hope, despite everything, and has to regulate it in order to be realistic. there is no purpose for a slave, and there is no hope for a slave. at least with veretian pets, at least for laurent in the veretian court, he still had purpose, and he still had hope. i think the only time in laurent's life where he did NOT feel purpose/hope was when he was under the regent's thumb, which had only happened because laurent lost hope and purpose due to auguste's death and leaned on the regent for comfort. and that situation had only really changed because the regent stopped being attracted to laurent as result of natural aging, not even because laurent was eventually able to change things due to his own internal strength. that's fucked up, man. but it does explain laurent's perspective.

Damen felt again the shock of hearing Laurent voice his private beliefs. He thought of him, helping Erasmus. He thought of him visiting the girl from the village, teaching her a sleight-of-hand trick. For the first time, he caught a glimmer of what Laurent would be like as a king. He saw him, not as the Regent’s unready nephew, not as Auguste’s younger brother, but as himself, a young man with a collection of talents thrown into leadership too early, and taking it on, because he was given no other choice.

damen, assessing laurent’s situation: he was given no other choice, but he’s still trying his best :(

laurent, miserable and tired but possessing free will: i am MAKING the choice to do this to the very best of my ability, using my compassion and intelligence in a way no one else could. even if it sucks, even if i could do something else (because i absolutely could), i am CHOOSING to be the kind of king my people deserve. having “no choice” would mean lacking the will to choose to do anything but the exact thing i’ve been trained to do, which is how both akielion slaves and princes are groomed to live (re: the latter—consider damen’s musing on his father, the military, and tradition)

I would serve him, he thought, and that itself was like a little revelation.

back in book 1 i highlighted the overall thematic question: can there be honor in submission?

yes. like this. so much has led to this line, subtly and slowly, and we’re finally seeing it said outright. damen would serve laurent because of the person he is, not the royal status that has been put upon him by birth. and he’d be doing so as a person with free will, acknowledging laurent’s complications as well as his own, instead of the imitation of a slave who can’t choose anyway so might as well just go along with it.

in other words, he’s leveling up his commitment to the bit <3

‘I know what you think of my uncle, but he is not—’ Laurent spoke after a pause. ‘Not?’ ‘He won’t hurt the child,’ said Laurent. ‘Whether it is your son or Kastor’s, it is leverage. It is leverage against you, against your armies, and against your men.’ ‘You mean that it hurts me more that my son is alive and whole than it would if he were maimed or dead.’ ‘Yes,’ said Laurent.

laurent: i know that you think my uncle is simply bloodthirsty and evil, and would only think to injure or kill your not-son, but you don’t understand that he would rather sexually abuse a young boy than kill him. because he did that to me. which you haven’t figured out. although you did know about nicaise. but you seem to have a blind spot about the entire topic.

damen: wait, what do YOU think i think of your uncle?

laurent: ignores the question basically, the kid wouldn’t get hurt, because it’s useful to my uncle to keep him intact as leverage against us both. (especially against me, because i know what he would do to that boy, but if i explained that i would have to explain why, so i’m not going to mention it specifically)

damen: so like. he won’t kill the kid because he can torture and manipulate us with it more effectively if it’s alive

laurent: somehow i have told the truth and you do understand it, but there is so much that you still don’t understand

He said it seriously, looking into Damen’s eyes. Damen felt every muscle in his body ache with the effort of not thinking of it. Of not thinking the other, darker thought, the one that at all costs must be avoided. He tried to think instead of a way forward, though it was impossible.

possibilities for “the other thought”:

1) the obvious one, and the most likely in my opinion: the regent would assault the child.

damen has a reason to suspect this, because he is aware of both nicaise and aimeric

in terms of craft and characterization, this a little hint that damen might have considered laurent being abused, but eventually dismissed the notion because it is TOO dark and too upsetting to acknowledge

^^^ active repression is in-line with damen’s overall tendencies

2) the other darker thought is the death or torture of the child, which laurent is explicitly telling him will not happen. damen is accepting that “comfort” uncritically because it doesn’t make him feel as upset or powerless as the alternative. the regent’s abuse of young boys is not being considered at all.

‘My uncle knows you won’t move against him while he holds the child,’ said Laurent. And then, calmly, steadily, ‘So we get him back.’

not going to lie, i’m not the biggest fan of the baby as a plot device. but i get why it’s used, and how it connects a lot of characters, especially like jokaste and kastor who haven’t been present in previous books. i just think it might have been more effective if it was a child that damen and/or laurent actually knew—although i do understand that the baby’s “royal lineage” probably comes into play here. but i also think a big theme of the series is about honor coming from integrity in action, rather than blood or status. but it is just a fuckin baby, and a baby is the ultimate symbol of innocence and helplessness. so maybe it’s just kind of a wash.

also the confusion about the paternity kinda just annoys me. i get that to damen it doesn’t matter, but then like. make it kastor’s baby for sure, then. that would give damen’s integrity and family oriented nature even more of a spotlight.

(maybe it is confirmed to be kastor’s at some point. i didn’t pay that much attention to this plot beat the first time around)

He looked for changes in her, but the cool, untouchable air was the same, as was the particular way that her eyes regarded him. She had the same colouring as Laurent. She had the same mathematical mind. They were like a matched pair, except that her presence was different.

it’s both telling and sweet that damen is so used to having his mind changed by laurent, who ended up so much more honorable and understandable than originally believed, that his first instinct with jokaste is to look for signs of that same potential. as opposed to damen in captive prince chapter one, whose first thought seeing laurent was “he would be an expensive sex slave”

There was a part of Laurent that was always in tension, even when he affected calm. Jokaste’s unassailable composure seemed like serenity, until you knew she was dangerous. A similar core of steel, perhaps, existed in both.

i think you might have just been down bad for jokaste in a specific way, and down bad for laurent in a different way. jokaste definitely isn’t making you feel serene now, is she? and laurent, inversely, is a great comfort to you when you first thought he was unpleasant. another example of the overarching damen nice=/=good and mean=/=bad theme.

She didn’t seem perturbed by her incarceration, or even really to notice it.

like damen in the cell, internally attentive to every little detail. i bet jokaste is too.

He said, ‘Is there a child?’

he wants it to be untrue, so the regent doesn’t have leverage over him. i also think he’s partially asking if it’s HIS, although that’s more of a personal thing that wouldn’t impact his actions in saving the kid

‘I have told you that there is,’ said Jokaste. ‘I wasn’t talking to you,’ said Damen. The attending women seated around Jokaste were of varying ages, from the eldest of perhaps sixty to the youngest, Jokaste’s age, around twenty-four.

he's learning!

‘Let me tell you what is going to happen. You are going to be executed. You are going to be executed whatever you say or do. But I will spare your women, if they agree to answer my questions.’

damen immediately doing what he’s so upset the regent is doing to him and laurent is fascinating. like “oh i have an idea of how i can challenge jokaste into talking! use human lives as leverage! wonder where that came from, anything recently happen…? oh right.”

He said to the soldiers behind him, ‘Take them.’ Jokaste said, ‘This plan of action will mean the death of the child.’ He said, ‘We haven’t established that there is a child.’ She smiled, as if pleased to discover a pet capable of a trick. ‘You’ve never been very good at games. I don’t think you have what it takes to play against me.’ He said, ‘I’ve changed.’

this entire war hinges on schroedinger’s inconvenient baby

also, jokaste was born in the wrong kingdom. i think part of the reason she’s so terrible is that she’s bored in akielos. vere’s political landscape would be enrichment for her and she’d probably thrive in that environment, and feel no desire or need to establish her status by getting pregnant by a prince

okay sorry but like. au where laurent reluctantly teams up with young noblewoman jokaste a year or so after the regent stops assaulting him, and they work together to overthrow him through complicated court political maneuvers. laurent is motivated by obvious reasons, and jokaste is mostly just personally slighted by the regent’s misogynistic court and therefore annoyed, but deep down they both know she cares about him and wants things to be better. and obviously he cares about her bc it’s laurent and he cares about everything, just doesn’t want the world to know it

‘You are the only one protected in your arrangement. These women are going to die. Unless they talk to me.’ She said, ‘You have changed. Or is this the new power behind the throne? Who am I really negotiating with here, I wonder?’

damen wouldn’t. he knows it, jokaste knows it, and laurent DEFINITELY knows it. he would not tell damen or expect damen to do this as anything more than a bluff to assess jokaste’s commitment to the bit

He was already nodding to the nearest soldier. ‘Start with her.’ It wasn’t pleasant. The women resisted, and there was screaming. He watched impassively as soldiers took hold of the women and began to drag them from the room.

wait holy fuck did he do it?? it’s not entirely clear. but i think he fucking did??? is it written vaguely to make the reader have this exact confused reaction?? hold please i’m reading more

EDIT: it's "women" and not "woman." i originally read it as "woman," meaning that the first was specifically resisting and screaming as she died, and then the soldiers seized everyone else. if it's plural women, i think it's safe to say that the first woman did not actually die, the soldiers just mobilized in a way that made kyrina scared enough to tell damen the truth, despite jokaste's warnings

‘No,’ said Jokaste. ‘He will not kill a roomful of women for loyalty to their mistress, Kyrina.’

still not saying outright if he killed the one woman, and i have to wonder WHY, if not to intentionally confuse and stress out the reader. it could go both ways with these carefully chosen words of dialogue—“he will not kill a roomful of women for loyalty.” “roomful” could imply that he already killed one but she thinks he wouldn’t kill multiple (but from what we and jokaste know of damen, that assumption makes very little sense—he’s not really like a utilitarian trolley problem kind of guy, although i guess laurent is). but “for loyalty” implies that she does understand damen, and the assumption that he would not kill for the REASON of loyalty, because it’s something he respects in himself and others. hhhhh

EDIT: see previous annotation

‘There is a child. He was taken to Ios.’ ‘That’s enough,’ said Jokaste. ‘None of us know if the child is yours. She says it is.’ ‘That’s enough, Kyrina,’ said Jokaste. ‘There’s more,’ said Damen. ‘Exalted—’ said Kyrina— —as Jokaste said, ‘No.’ —

turns out when your status is predicated on power earned by force rather than earned respect, the people serving you are going to submit to the strongest person in the room. unfortunately for jokaste, she just stopped being perceived as the strongest person in the room

‘My lady did not trust the Regent of Vere to protect her interests. In the case that there was no other way to save her life, the wet nurse could be instructed to bring the child to you—in exchange for Jokaste’s freedom.’

she’s out-veretianing the regent of vere.

oh ALSO!! it’s neat how based on jokaste’s attendant calling him “regent” and not “king,” jokaste must also casually refer to him as such, not actually respecting him or his false title

Damen sat back in his chair, and lifted his brows slightly at Jokaste.

that’s laurent-brand cuntiness. should have added a lean though

'There is no way to circumvent my conditions.'

that phrase is like catnip to damen and laurent. one time damen ripped a metal grate out of a wall

Jokaste, he thought, believed that it was impossible for him to travel into Ios, and that there was no place where it was safe for him to attempt an exchange. But there was a place where two enemies could meet without fear of ambush.

i like how the kingsmeet is set up for a way for damen and laurent to ensure that the regent doesn’t hurt them, but in a twist it ends up being the regent’s plan to anger damen so much that damen breaks the rules and tries to throw hands

‘But you’re a fool to trust him. He has his own plans.’ ‘He has never pretended otherwise,’ said Damen.

true. and perfect for this exact conversation. this is what‘s really being said, i think—

jokaste: laurent may be giving you good ideas, but it’s stupid to trust him because he’s definitely also keeping some of his manipulations from you

damen: he’s never claimed to be honest, which ironically makes him more honest than you. i know he has secrets and i trust him anyway, because i know him. you never even gave me the chance to know you, for whatever reason, and i was a fool for trusting you and faced the worst consequences imaginable. at least when laurent tortured me, we both thought he was my enemy. you tortured me when you were supposed to be my ally. you have not earned my trust and respect, and laurent has, and ultimately that’s your loss. because i know you appreciated my integrity and honor, two things that you believe that you can not afford to have yourself.

(maybe it’s not that deep. but i think it’s satisfying to consider, with the little we’ve been told about their history)

He looked at her, alone on the low couch. He couldn’t help but remember the day they met. She had been presented to his father, daughter of a minor noble from Aegina, and he had been able to look nowhere else. It was three months of courtship before she was in his arms. He said, ‘You chose a man who was bent on destroying his own country. You chose my brother, and look where it’s left you. You have no position, no friends. Even your own women have turned on you. Don’t you think it’s a shame things had to end this way between us?’

NOPE IT’S THAT DEEP I NAILED IT

“i loved you so deeply and immediately and would have done anything for you. kastor doesn’t give a shit about you or this country. the way this ended between us was your choice, and it was a bad one. your loss.”

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Kastor should have killed you.’

and we know he’s right, and that he hit a vein, because the woman who pretends to be cool and detached and in control basically just tells him that she can’t handle him being around.

#sam reads capri #capri #captive prince #damen of akielos #laurent of vere #lamen #kings rising

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kitterkat100 · 13 days ago

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My thoughts on Dragon Age: The Veilguard

So, I finished datv yesterday and now have time to sit and think about it. Now, obviously this is just my subjective opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. I am going to start with the good and go into the bad and then finish with more good (that teacher training coming in). Also, I learned how to do a read more for this.

I am going to start with the combat. I have made another post about this, but that was like 3 hours into my first playthrough. Veilguard has the best combat in the series. Usually Dragon Age games have combat that is a slog to get through, so much so that many people in the fandom say they don't play the games for combat but for the story. I have never been a fan of the real-time with tactical pause, I find it a little boring. I am not a big fan of turn-based, to begin with ( that is one of the reasons I still have not finished Baulder's Gate). In the past, if I wanted to play a good story game with fun combat, I would play Mass Effect. But I have fun just fighting enemies, if DAI's combat was this fun I would replay it more often.

Next the art direction. Now, I am no artist and I know next to nothing about anything. But I really like the art. I think the environments are beautiful. I like the character models. I know people were complaining about the models having small heads in the lead-up to the release, but I think it was because the game doesn't use heroic proportions. And you don't notice in-game at all, at least I didn't. Also the brought back some reused assets from the Inquisition, and some of the paintings that have been around since Origins.

Okay the companions. I might write a longer post for each companion later on. I am going in alphabetical order.

Bellara: I romanced her, and I love her so much. She has some strong Tali vibes with a strong dose of ADHD. I am a little sad that we did not even kiss until after the final battle, but I just read that as her being ace or demi (like me!).

Davrin: He is such a bro. I love him and Assan so much. His banter with Emmrich is so funny. The ending to his story line is a little weak, but I will talk about that in his own post.

Emmrich: I think Emmrich is one of the best companions in the whole series, flat out. I love this man, he going to be my next romance (Female Qunari Grey Warden).

Harding: Harding is great. I really liked all of the Titan stuff in her storyline. I did get her killed, so I am not sure what her ending is like. I did think her romance with Taash was cute.

Lucanis: I'm going to say it. I think Lucanis is the weakest of the companions, I don't dislike him. I don't if I missed a lot of content because I saved Minrathous instead of Treviso or if it was because his writer got canned during development. And what he did have felt bare bones. I thought we would be dealing with Spite a lot more. I will say his recruitment mission is a blast.

Neve: I played a Shadow Dragon so my character had a lot of in common with Neve. I like her, but I don't have any strong feelings towards her one or another. Her romance with Lucanis is a thing that happens. I might change my mind when I get around to romancing her.

Taash: I am cis, so take this with a grain of salt. But I think their storyline about being non-binary was oddly paced. I did like everything past that, I think it was much better paced. I do like them a lot. Also, they are really cute with Harding. I do wish there was more of a reaction to me getting Harding killed on Tearstone Island, but that is a writing complaint.

Speaking of the writing. It is really a mixed bag. Some of it is great and then some of it was giving slop comics from the mid-00s. The first several hours are story slog, some of that is because of all the lore dumps, and some of it is because it is oddly paced. The writing gets progressively better throughout the game. From the point of no return to the credits it is the strongest writing, maybe not in the whole series but definitely since the last third of DAI. That after-credit scene was a choice. I will probably talk about that more after I figure out how I feel about it. I think Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nan are the strongest villains since Loghain, it really helps that they are present throughout the game. There are definitely moments where you feel that Rook is HR, but not a lot, but enough that I understand why that made it into some reviews. I don't think it is any more quippy or Marvel-like than any other Dragon Age game, "Swooping is bad" comes to mind.

Finally, some random thoughts. I think this game really nailed the horror of the Blight, I can't get the image of Bellara wrapped in Blight tentacles during the final section out of my head.

I played a non-mage elf shadow dragon, and there was a lot of reactivity for the shadow dragon part, less the elf part. I know I missed a conversation with Tarquin about it, but still. It's like no one even noticed the pointy ears.

That's it for now. I might add more as think about it.

8/10, I had a blast.

#dragon age veilguard #dragon age the veilguard #datv spoilers #bellara #lucanis dellamorte #emmrich volkarin #taash #neve gallus #lace harding

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thelureking · 2 years ago

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I had this idea to make a list of all the games I played in 2022, half as a recommendation list, and half because I struggle to remember when I played what. I have a really bad time ranking stuff, so I'll just list them chronologically (or, as chronologically as I can remember).

Note: Sometimes I dont have a lot to say about a game, but that doesnt mean I didn't like it or that it isn't good.

So, with that being said:

1) Our Life: Beginnings and Always

This game has put visual novels on another level entirely. How must I go on knowing that I will never be treated like royalty by any other game like this did. Our Life tells the story of your friendship and/or romance with Cove Holden, your new neighbor. This Visual Novel remembers an insane amount of stuff you choose, and it can put you in the state of mentioning something you did as a kid that you completely forgot about. I actually really liked how you can go the entire game as just friends, or choose when your character develops romantic feelings. I cannot overstate how well made this entire thing is. Can't wait to play the DLCs and for the sequel to be released.

Absolute recommend.

2) Iron Lung

If you have a computer, you can play it. It is not an option.

Claustrophobic above all, this game captures the pure dread of the unknown, building tension and atmosphere as you travel through this unknown planet's red sea. Highly recommended.

3) An Outcry

Amazing game that I don't see enough people talking about. The first game that made me actually physically ill while playing an alternative route. I don't know what hit me the most, the subject matter or the type of person I played in that route, a person I know exists and maybe I've met, a person I hope I never become. I knew what the game was specifically referencing, but I found it good that it was able to trigger that response on someone who lives in an entirely different place, with different historical events, but with enough similarities that made the feeling of dread and disgust that much real. Its message is clear and loud as it should be, and one that I think maybe now more than ever needs to be heard. I cannot recommend this game enough.

4) Stillwater

Now this is a Visual Novel that I really liked and would have loved for it to be longer, but I love it as it is. It left me wanting more about the world and its characters, and I think that's a good thing. It feels unfair that this is the one I typed the least about, knowing how much I liked it. It's really worth the read/play.

5) The Caribbean Sail

Have you ever wanted to be a sailor or a pirate? Have you ever wanted to grab a ship, sail into unknown destinations, encounter supernatural phenomenons and watch as your fellow crew members die of disentry five seconds after leaving your first port? Because if so, I have the perfect game for you. It's inspired by the Oregon Trail game, and that's literally what the gameplay is like, except on the sea. Which was enough of a selling point for me.

6) Carrion

My child, it has every disease. Loved the concept when I saw the trailer, forgot I can actually buy games now, and then proceeded to do that. Being able to live my fantasies of being a flesh creature that destroys and eats everything in its path was a delight. The creature is my child and I love it very much.

We need more games that let you play as the monster, I'm serious.

7) The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante

This game is both my beloved and the thorn on my side. Who would have thought that in a game like this you would proceed to suffer through life? I said to myself as if I hadn't known what I was getting into. You'll experience loss, you'll struggle to make a name for yourself, your family will fall apart, and you may never kiss your best friend Tommas who gave you a totally platonic ring to commemorate your friendship because the game doesn't want you to.

Or you'll have a different experience than me on my first playthrough.

You follow the titular Sir Brante from the moment of his birth to his last breath, exploring the world he lives in, full of injustices that at times made me go "I do not care about the lots, give me a fucking gun so I can take you to the fucking Twins". There are many branches regarding life paths, the fate of your family and that of the entire city you live in. But don't worry about it now, keep looking at those toy soldiers at the store as a little kid, I'm sure nothing will happen in the future.

8) Princess Maker 2 Refine

And apparently I didn't get enough of walking a kid through life.

Who looks at a game about raising a little girl by managing her monthly schedule and balancing her stats, health and money and says "yes, this is the game I'll play to destress"?

I do that. Don't ask why.

I have only reached two endings, in one my beautiful daughter became the royal painter, her art held as the most beautiful and inspiring in the entire world. In another, my girl made a name for herself by exploring the lands surrounding the kingdom, so fast on her feet nobody could even scratch her; she married a dragon prince and became the teacher of her own fighting school.

And even with all of that, her goddess mother was not happy.

So yes, this is the "divorced dad who got custody" experience.

9) Planescape: Torment

What can change the nature of a man? That is a question posed by one Ravel Puzzlewell, night hag of the Gray Wastes. It is one of the many questions that this game asks, intertwined by the many philosophies it presents. Planescape Torment does not stick to one question, it asks many, and it lets you answer.

It is a beautifully written game, one of the best I have ever read. There is one moment that I do not wish to spoil, but it still sticks to my head months after I experienced it. As a writer, I found myself fascinated by how a certain event was told, all because of the way it was presented.

It feels like an injustice to not talk in length about Planescape: Torment, but I seriously don't want to spoil anyone who hasn't played it yet. A blind experience is fully worth it. All you need to know is that this is the game that made me post for the first time here, two dumb memes for myself and one short analysis that sometimes reminds me that yes, people can interact with it. Shameless link to it here

10) Growing my Grandpa!

If I had to describe this game without saying too much, I would say it's "heartwarming horror". Two words that don't usually go together, but that they perfectly fit here. The story is, like the title says, about growing your grandpa, more like helping a girl grow her grandpa, but still. Strangely sweet and unnerving, I was tense the entire time, and even when I had to replay it to get the second ending (this was entirely my fault, since I could have gotten it way easier) that tension never left.

11) FAITH: The Unholy Trinity

I don't remember how I found out about this game, but I remember waiting patiently for it to get a steam release so I could buy it and play its three chapters all together. The day finally came, and all that waiting was worth it.

The gameplay is simple, yet the developers found a way to have me both crying in fear and frothing by the mouth out of anger every time I saw the game over screen (affectionately). In terms of difficulty, I would say the game is easy until it isn't, looking at you Chapter 2 and 3 Final Bosses, you bastards. Then again, I saw people say they struggled in places I didn't, so I would say it depends on the player.

The story is so interesting and it's still marinating in my brain please I need people to talk about how the prologue of chapter 2 and the one note in chapter 3 relate please. The cutscenes are also so well done, and I had to restrain myself from using one as a second picture because I didn't want to spoil any of them.

All in all, a must play, fully recommend it.

And remember:

GARY LOVES YOU

12) Inmortal Mantis

This is a tricky one. On one hand, the game starts off by basically spelling out every action you have to do, and suddenly it goes full on "fuck around and find out" mode. On the other, the game implements some interesting mechanics that I would love to see developed on a longer game, but I am not going to put the length against it while knowing how hard it is to make a game. And maybe being short plays in its favor.

13) Who's Lila?

This game is my King in Yellow. I cannot stop thinking about it. I finished it with all endings and achievements in a day, and it wont leave me alone. It is always there, forever crawling at the back of my head, stretching itself over my brain and weaving my thoughts into a spiral as easily as a spider weaves its thread. It made itself a home in my mind and I won't kick it out any time soon. I played it because the concept of controlling a character's face in place of a dialogue wheel was interesting, and the story and the way it's presented (hand in hand with the gameplay) lured me deeper and deeper. I cannot even describe it without giving it the praise it deserves. It takes full advantage of its medium. Playing this game is an experience that I can't recommend enough, and I'm surprised it hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves.

14) Someone stole MY LUNCH!

This visual novel is pure fun. The humor is so good I found myself reading the entire thing out loud while wheezing. I actually found out recently that it's made by the same people that made Stillwater, which, looking at it now I should have known. It's good and I'm not still over not seeing that one joke coming; well played.

15) MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF-

... INSIDE A BAG OF MILK is a short visual novel about a girl going to the grocery to buy milk, and the challenge this seemingly small action can be. It is your responsibility to help her through this.

The steam page description perfectly summarizes it: "This is an artistic manipulation with word and form, only then - a game."

Reblog with more games

Or, you can jump to the 2023 list!

#already reblogged with three more games!#game recommendations #our life beginnings & always #iron lung #an outcry #stillwater visual novel #the caribbean sail game #carrion game #the life and suffering of sir brante #princess maker 2 #planescape torment #growing my grandpa #faith the unholy trinity #inmortal mantis #who's lila #whos lila #someone stole my lunch visual novel #milk inside a bag of milk inside a bag of milk #lilium post

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thelunarfairy · 11 months ago

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Thinking about how the type of relationship between Amane and Tsukasa is written and shown, like Aidairo they really like to play and, evidently, they do it on purpose: is it just something brotherly or is there something more? (Always interpreting the content they give us and never affirming [or denying] something)

It can also be said (and from what I have seen, it is something that does happen) that part of the jshk fandom rejects and ignores the theories that the interactions between the twins hide something beyond the fraternal because they're brothers and shouldn't be seen as such.

So,

Using the analogy of "If character A were the opposite gender of character B, then everyone would support their romantic relationship, but since A and B are the same gender that makes them just good friends and 'romantic' is just a thing." part of the community", one could deduce that if instead of brothers, Aidairo had chosen to be childhood friends, would the majority of the fandom more easily accept their interaction as something more than brotherly?

If they were just childhood friends who grew up together and their relationship is the same as it is currently in the manga, perhaps the entire fandom would say, and it wouldn't be something crazy or misplaced, that there's not just friendship between the two; perhaps a one-sided love, or a childhood love that ended badly. Maybe there would even be more posts of parallels between hananene and amane and tsukasa.

I would like to know your opinion ^ . ^

Just thoughts derived from insomnia and how I love to find three feet for the cat. And since I love to see the relationships of some characters in another light to see if it's just my interpretation or if there is something more.

P.D.: ilove your theories and analysis.

Do you want me to be completely honest?

I have been very cautious when talking about this subject precisely because it is such a taboo.

It's not about gender, but about being brothers, it's not something natural or accepted, it's strange to think or talk about it in a general context, most people have brothers and know that the love they feel for them is fraternal.

So this forbidden love causes a lot of strangeness, even if it is in fiction.

But yes, I'm happy that the fandom is finally seeing that there is SOMETHING STRANGE in their relationship, it's not just brotherly love, right?

It does not seem.

Tsukasa blushes when he is with Amane, when he talks about him. Hanako also blushes when he is around Tsukasa. The way Tsukasa touches Hanako, panels where they are almost kissing, Hanako under Tsukasa in a suggestive position while Tsukasa puts his hands on Hanako's lips. The way Hanako looks at Tsukasa, whether when he was pointing at the stars or when he ran to hug Amane.

There is more evidence of romance than of a healthy sibling relationship. The way Tsukasa didn't care about anything other than fulfilling Amane's wishes…

But what about Hanako, what must he have been like with Tsukasa?

The general idea that goes through my head sometimes is that the twins fell in love with each other. For Tsukasa, in a more innocent way, that kind of love that he still doesn't understand and doesn't know how to differentiate from brotherly love, everything for him is just love.

For Hanako…. this is more problematic, Hanako is not innocent, he knows what kind of love he feels for Tsukasa, and maybe because he realizes that it is wrong, forbidden, he just buried this feeling inside his chest. Even though he felt love and desires, he seemed to want to be the "perfect" brother, as we saw in the PP arc.

Most analyzes of JSHK symbolism point to a romantic love between them, and in some cases, unilateral. An innocent twin and a pervert, opposites but with similar desires.

I always wonder why Hanako has such a latent sexual desire, as if he was repressing an old desire, and when Kako revealed this in front of Tsukasa, Hanako blushed intensely!

He literally wanted to die again, so why was he so blushing because of Tsukasa? It doesn't make sense if we don't think about the desires he might feel about Tsukasa, and because it's something shameful and forbidden, he feels bad.

"I want Tsukasa, but he's my brother, we can't! It's wrong…."

He blushed more with Tsukasa than with Nene, even when Nene kissed him on the cheek, the moment he blushed the most with her, it didn't surpass the way he blushed with Tsukasa, even his HANDS were blushed.

Think with me, Hanako wants to stop time to do any kind of perverted things, who could he stop time with so he could do whatever he wanted without anyone knowing?

He already did perverted things with Nene without needing to stop time, he can even try to do perverted things with random people, since no one sees Hanako because he's a ghost

But he couldn't touch these people even if time stopped, because in order for him to touch them the other person must be supernatural, have a sixth sense or a bond with Hanako, as in the case of Nene, Kou.

So WHO was the person he was talking about?

Touching Tsukasa with time stopped… Would it lessen Amane's guilt if Tsukasa didn't know? Hmm…..

He likes to do things in secret because he doesn't like to feel guilty, he does things knowing it's wrong, and that's why he does them in secret.

This would also explain why he was so embarrassed when Tsukasa found out that he wants to do perverted things, it was as if Kako had revealed to Tsukasa that Amane had this type of desire towards him.

A forbidden desire that Amane hides, touching Tsukasa, but he can't, so would he wish time would stop so he could do what he wants, because he believed Tsukasa would never know, would it be the only way to alleviate his desire?

When the secret was revealed, Amane felt the guilt and shame for his desires strongly.

Should I also mention the sexual connotation between eating and being devoured? Hakubo and Sumire? It was explicitly a sexual scene between the two, and well, Hanako will probably have to devour Tsukasa in the same way, so sexual connotations continue here.

So, let's go to the scene of Hanako's intense crying when he sees Tsukasa kissing Nene.

Did he see the two people he is in love with kissing? And him being left out of it?

So, let's conclude, maybe this will all lead to a three-way relationship, if Nene accepts, of course. Hanako seems to be in love with both of them, and with the way things are going, we're going to see more of Amane showing love for Tsukasa.

See his look in these two situations:

It's the same look…. in one panel he tells Nene that he's happy because she was the first girl who said she liked him, in the other panel he's talking about Tsukasa.

Same tender look, same look, SAME LOOK

BUT

It's just ONE of the possibilities, maybe it's just another one of those things that some manga authors put in, you know, to tease and give false clues, maybe it's just "ah, that's just a joke, they're just very close brothers" and nothing happens.

Aidairo created a game in which there were twins in love with the same girl, they also had a suggestive relationship between them, but nothing explicitly romantic was shown between them.

This is what I think will happen in JSHK, there is all this evidence that their relationship is romantic, but in the end it won't be anything canon, just suggestive moments.

I don't think Aidairo will have enough courage to put a romantic relationship between canonical brothers???? I doubt it, I would challenge her if I could, because I definitely don't believe she would put that on! Because it would be very brave of her to do that!!

Neither the romantic relationship between the twins nor the relationship between three. Tsukasa will probably disappear, Nene will stay with Hanako for a while and Amane will disappear too, Nene (if she survives) will be sad for a while and then forget.

It will be?

Everything is still hazy, I'm wandering between the two paths, do they love each other romantically or is it just Aidairo's joke?

I have no idea the answer, because the evidence is getting stronger and harder to ignore….

Anyway, remembering that I don't ship the twins and I'm not saying that this is what will happen, it's just an analysis based on their behavior.

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auntieinthemushroomhat · 9 months ago

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I have no one irl I can discuss Miss Scarlet with (it usually doesn't stop me though, but I do try to limit it to a sane amount), but no matter how much I talk to my friends about it, they won't ever grasp the true extent of everything related to it, because they never watched and never will watch the show, and that's okay. So here I am speaking into the abyss. Hi!

You know, I've been thinking about Stuart's departure. And I'm really starting to think he was right in leaving. Don't get me wrong, I'll miss him immensely, he's a great actor and somewhat of a comfort in the show since we've known him, we know his motivations, we've grown to like him, etc. I like his and Eliza's banter and bickering, but I never did like their romance all that much.

Looking back, in my opinion, they acted more like older brother/younger sister than familial friends with romantic attraction. And I probably would have liked them even more if they never even had that romance aspect, but I'm not sure, since I'm thinking about this retroactively not way back when, when I first started watching the show.

I'll miss William coaching Fitzroy, but I'm also curious how Phelps will approach the subject, since they seem to be on better terms, and maybe more professional than what William and Fitzroy had.

Perhaps William's absence will also provide us with more opportunities to see our favourite side characters and Eliza interacting, eg. Fitzroy (Does he still have a crush on her? Has he moved on? If he still hasn't, will Phelps notice? How will he react?), Ivy and Mr Potts (Will they get married this season? Will Ivy move out? [I know lots of us have been pondering this specific question, as quite a few fanfics imagine this scenario.]), I'd love to see Moses return along with Solomon.

I've seen people mention that Eliza is in dire need of a female friend, and I have to agree. I'd love to see a past female character return, with a vengeance (not literally). My top candidates would be Clara Simms from season 1 or Arabella Acaster, which might be controversial. I'd love to see them make up and move on. Because, I might be wrong in thinking this, but aren't they the two sides of the same coin?

I realise I haven't mentioned Nash yet. I'm excited to see his trial and all the difficulties they will have to deal with it during and after. Once he's free and Eliza rejoins Nash & Sons (if she even will, who knows?), will he leave for Paris, or will he stay? Will Eliza go with him perhaps? So many opportunities. I love it.

I wanna see Patrick and Eliza get closer, whether in the form of friendship or perhaps more, I'd be happy with whichever.

I just want to see Eliza thrive with people surrounding her who love, cherish and support her. (Obviously realistically still and deservedly so, it would be boring if it were all sunshine and rainbows, ya know?)

I hope all the pitchfork action on the internet hasn't put too much of a damper on the Miss Scarlet team's excitement that the show's been renewed and they get to work together again.

#miss scarlet and the duke #miss scarlet pbs #eliza scarlet #patrick nash #msatd

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runningwithmyeyesclosed · 2 months ago

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Evitative by Vichan

Main Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (There is very little romance)

Type: 5th Year Rewrite - Morally grey harry potter

Explicitness: None

POV: Harry Potter

Word Count: 222,453

Song:

My Summary:

The year before fifth year Harry Potter ends up expelled; luckily it was a mistake so he is able to return to Hogwarts under one condition, he must be resorted. Harry can already guess what that might mean for him, hadn't the sorting hat told him twice already where he belongs? When the sorting hat finally gets his way Harry finds himself in the den of snakes; but Harry is finding that not everything is as cut and dry as it seems.

My Thoughts:

I have a lot of thoughts! Long story short I enjoyed it. It gave me a lot to think about which I think is always a good sign. I wish there was more closure its left very open ended. Other than that it was super well written and a great read. But read on if you want my more in-depth thoughts on it!

I have so many thoughts on this I'm not even sure where to start. So maybe at the beginning. I started this fic twice before i decided to buckle down and finish it.

The first time the size was taunting so I chose a shorter fic. The second time the subject matter was a bit taunting so I chose a softer fic. I this the themes were what stopped me the longest. I finally decided to just do it and I am glad I did.

The writing is very good, it draws you in and is easy to follow. I think the main theme of this book is very complex and I think the author handles it well over all. I think i wish I could see one of these types of stories where Ron isn't a jerk about it haha but it is what it is.

This fic really makes you think about what is good and bad and why you think these things. I think I found myself doubting Harry's actions and whether or not I liked the way the story was headed; however, I do think it was entirely intentional. I think you are meant to doubt meant to question and in that find that there are many ways to do things and many reasons people may choose the things they do.

I do have to say, I liked all the characters and how they were written. None of them felt like caricatures of a type of person. For example Ron was a bad friend and didn't believe in Harry but he was a person raised a certain way with a set of beliefs, this feels more real than some other portrayals I've read where Ron is just almost goofy with how much he is a bad friend. Hermione is still Hermione in all the ways that matter but she was told her whole magical life that dark magic was bad so she is understandably distrustful of it. The Slytherins who were raised with hateful ideals aren't suddenly going to stop having those ideals because Harry becomes a Slytherin. All these things made sense to me and didn't feel forced or goofy.

The one thing I have to point out because I wasn't aware was it is only of year 5. I wish I had more it's no one's fault and I know that some people prefer an open end; but, I really kind of felt we didn't get enough a payoff for all of the growing and thinking that Harry did. I know there is a sequel; however it hasn't been updated in a little over two years if it gets updated I may pick it up. On its own though this is a very good fic. I wish there was more closure to the overall plot line of Harry choosing dark but that is what it is. I can't say enough though, how well written it was and how much I have been thinking about this fic the last couple of days.

#drarry #fanfiction #harry potter #draco malfoy #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter/draco malfoy #hpdm #fanfic #thoughts #running read #Spotify

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bishicat · 3 months ago

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I am curious...👀

What are your Lavellan's views on Solas beginning of their relationship and the final end to the redemption arc in Veil Guard? Love your art btw❤

Hi!!! omg thank you for the question, and people like you make posting art worth it! This is gonna be a long rambling answer so I'll tuck it under the cut. ❤

BEGINNING:

When I think of Emrys and Solas' relationship at the start of Inquisition (like Haven times), her view of him started off pretty neutrally. She saw him as an equal in intellect and magic know-how, and it comforted her to know that she wasn't the only elf in the party. I can imagine her developing a bit of a crush during their discussions about history, magic, or the Fade, but she kept her feelings on a short leash. His opinions about the Dalish made her more reserved about her own feelings, as she wanted someone who would accept all of her, rather than just the parts he liked. I think she saw through his harmless old man persona quite early, even if only in the sense that he was hiding something that he wasn't comfortable sharing. She liked the parts that he thought no one could see, like his quiet kindness. They would clash a few times (both being prideful), and after their intense debates, she would think they were finally going to do something about this weird energy, but he would just walk away. So in short, their dynamic was "nerds arguing but with sexual tension".

SKYHOLD:

This is where whatever icy barriers they had against each other melted and became real love :'). Though aware that he's still holding her at arm's length, she thought their love would get through whatever came their way. I think they have a lot of conversations about this subject, but he always finds some way to steer the conversation elsewhere.

I think she was caught completely unaware when he ended things at Crestwood. She was mad, confused, heartbroken, literally everything and more. The dialogue option "Tell me I was some casual dalliance..." gets me every single time!!!! It's the perfect mix between hurt and anger, and it fits Emrys' character SO well. After the break up, she tries to be professional (AKA too stoic & serious around him) but her inner circle (and Solas) can see how much she's imploding inside. She still works with him as a colleague but she can't stand looking at him without feeling like there's a gaping hole in her chest.

TRESPASSER - VEILGUARD:

After two years, the gaping hole heals into an ugly, knotted scar. When she hears the rumour that Solas is around, it feels bittersweet, cause how can you get over a relationship that ended like that? When she learns he's Fen'harel, it puts a lot of things into perspective. She feels toyed with, she hates him, but she still loves him. Like... two years of "healing" is undone with a short meeting, and a part of her will always wonder what could have been if he just talked to her about it. In the end I chose the "I will redeem you!" ending.

Honestly, I imagine that a lot of solavellan post-romance is just a lot of healing and breaking on both ends (Solas and Emrys). With every new piece of information they learn, their hearts need to learn how to mend all over again. And I'm not saying that Emrys is going to be a husk in all those years between DAI and DATV, but a part of her will feel rubbed raw during that time. It's hard to say right now but I picture her on a relentless search for the Dread Wolf, always inquisitive. As for Veilguard, I can see Emrys as bone-tired when she finally catches up to him. I'd like to imagine a sad embrace between the two, some tears, but a terse meeting is just as likely. Between the two of them, there's gonna be a lot of quiet yearning and sadness, and maybe even a small bit of hope? She'd still love him and we all know/like to think that Solas is still so down bad, but they'd put duty over talking about their feelings for now. I think when they finally have a truly private moment, they make up somehow. I truly hope they have some kind of happy ending, whatever it may be!

#it's like 2 am im so sorry for the word vomit #there's a reason why i stick to drawing and not writing 💀💀#anyway thank you sm for the ask!! im sorry it took me so long to answer it #i hope this answered your question!!#emrys lavellan #dragon age #bishi talks #long read

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acourtofthought · 8 months ago

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One thing that gets me about Elriel is the simple fact that they are literally physically incompatible. It’s such a blatantly obvious observation but like, one of the major subplots in silver flames was Feyre’s incompatibility with Illyrian wings, and by the end of the story they resolve that issue by having Nesta and Feyre altered. Elain is not included. And I don’t see her as the type who would give up motherhood. The only other female besides an Illyrian who won’t face imminent death giving birth to Azriel’s baby is Gwyn. You know who is physically compatible with Elain? Lucien. The attractive mate with a firedick and no wings. They can mess with our heads and interpretations but these are hard cold facts. Anyways have a nice day!

Hello!!

If SJM envisioned Elain and Az together then their possible inability to safely have children together would still not be a reason they couldn't happily be together.

She could have them be the couple who chooses to adopt. The couple who chooses not to have children.

Not having children does not prevent them from ending up together.

But if she has always known that Elain and Az wouldn't end up together, the events of SF fall in line with what some already believed.

If SJM wants to leave the door open for children in the future and knew that Gwynriel was endgame, then she added a loophole for that in Gwyn. And there's nothing wrong with that. We shouldn't accuse a fantasy romance author of being a terrible person for envisioning that her immortal pairings may someday want to try for their own children.

If SJM wanted to leave the door open for Elain maybe trying to have children in the future and knew she was ending up with Lucien, then she knew she didn't have to come up with any sort of solution to resolve the issue of a baby with wings.

Because she, as the author, wrote into the series that this is a problem that will need addressed for any pairings where one has wings and one does not.

I don't think SF proves Az and Elain won't end up together because they can't have children. She could come up with a solution in their book if that's the direction she wanted to take things or again, have them choose not to have children.

However, I do think it suggests that maybe the thought was never even on SJMs mind because she went out of her way to give Az mate coded language with Gwyn along with randomly adding that she has pliable bones in the same book she altered the anatomy of both Nesta and Feyre.

It's not the lack of change to Elain's anatomy that matters, it's the attention she gave to Gwyn's character regarding the subject, like she was thinking ahead just in case.

It's not like people are claiming this fact alone is why E/riel isn't happening. People have many, many reasons why they don't feel they're compatible and they have nothing to do with the ability to have children. They also feel there are many other reasons why Gwynriel is compatible. So taking note of how the author herself added this particular detail, it does leave people wondering if Gwynriel being a thing in the future was in her mind along with everything else.

People aren't wrong for taking note of information the author herself included in the book. No one should say Elain and Az can't be together because they can't have children but we also shouldn't have to pretend the author herself hasn't talked about wanting her couples to have children and how Gwyn's pliable bones would be a solution IF she and Az ended up together and had kids.

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bluedalahorse · 1 year ago

Text

Complicated queer media feelings beneath the cut…

Is anyone else feeling… I dunno… complicated about the part where we have Heartstopper, Red White and Royal Blue, and likely more YRS3 promo happening all in the same month?

I find a kind of enjoyment in each of these, so on one hand, I’m happy about it! (YR is my dearest fandom love right now about which I have many deep feelings, Heartstopper brings me joy and is what I’d watch with my middle school kids if I had kids, and RWRB is more on the “fun popcorn media” side of things for me but also has a lot of government humor that I laugh at as a person living in DC who gets subjected to motorcades etc.)

And I also think it’s awesome that queer rep has come a long way since when I was in high school, and there was only kinda Will and Grace and Willow on Buffy and you barely heard about some kids watching Queer as Folk if they were lucky enough to have HBO and parents who weren’t weird about it.

And and at the same time I know I’m going to be looking at my dash like, huh, that is a lot of mlm romance kissing between photogenic cis men.

Which. Again. Is progress? But also I’m a not-skinny aroace homosocial queer who is very interested in the stories of women and nonbinary people as well, and stories about friendship as well as relationships that reject traditional definitions. I want sweet romantic moments in my stories and decent makeout scenes but I also want stories about how queerness can challenge capitalism and hegemony and how we can create new families of choice and so on.

And for some of the texts I’m talking about, the canon definitely delivers? Things feel balanced? YR explores the class system with so much skill, and makes me ask powerful questions about justice and identity and such. It also has incredible female characters, including Sara as B Plot Protagonist driving a significant part of the story. (I wish I could find more fanfic from female characters’ POVs. I wish there were just as many “can’t wait until they get their happy endgame” posts about the Sara-Felice friendship as there were about the Wilmon romance, and I adore the Wilmon romance. I just love everything else about the show alongside it, and sometimes I find myself desperately craving discussion about the other aspects of the show while not knowing how to find ways of engaging about it.)

Heartstopper—I love how a multiqueer friends group is so centered in the story. Nick and Charlie are the main characters but Charlie’s friendship with Tao matters as much in the first season as his romance with Nick. I love how the show chose to have Elle carry a significant subplot in season 1 (although they could do better with that) and I am hopeful that we’ll get an ace discovery story for Isaac in season 2 and I’m looking forward to seeing more Imogen and we get a new disabled character and we’ll also get Tara and Darcy being Tara and Darcy! I don’t really follow people for Heartstopper necessarily, because it’s not really something I analyze or write fic for, but, you know, there’s a lot of it that goes around and I have generally positive feelings about it. I’m curious about what parts of the show and what characters people will choose to focus on.

RWRB… well, it’s been a long time since I’ve read the book, but I’m sort of holding off on comments until I see what’s different between the book and the movie.

Long story short I think I’m going to feel great about these various mlm pairings individually, because they’re all distinct personalities with stories and such, but I’m going to be feeling kind of weird and overwhelmed about the attention and gif visibility and squeeing that mlm romances between photogenic cis men get in aggregate.

But also also. Maybe that’s on me for not being into something like Yellowjackets fandom or not spending more time browsing the tag for XO Kitty. So the problem could also be me. I mean who knowsss?????

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greygilberti · 25 days ago

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My main issue with flannagan is that Shirley Jacksons work is all about the perils of the nuclear family etc

And to me flannigan was like fuck that family is great

It just goes info the heart of what Jackson was saying and shits on it for no reason?

He kinda made the story more conventional and I hate that

Whatever walked there walked alone is like. Theee core of the story and to be like fuck that is shitty

Jackson isn't some hugely outdated bigoted writer who's ideas need subverting and challenging (at least not in this story. Idk about the rest of her work)

Jackson novel was about how people who don't fit are vunerable a chewed up and spat out by institutions like romance and family

And it's like flannigan didn't get that. Or idk thought yay family was a more radical take

Idk i haven't seen the show recently so I may be misremembering but I feel like the majority of the criticism was that he didn't get / ignored the really interesting thing the book was doing.

I completely understand and respect those views.

I guess to me he did adapt it and made it his own and to me he wanted there to be hope in something that is supposed to be the end all be all of one's support. I HEAR you and yes, agree that the ideals weren't exactly what Jackson had in mind when writing the book and setting the tones and ideas. But for a creator who DID change it as much as he did, I personally feel that he did his best to take the subject matter into consideration, unlike other things I've seen where they just completely disregard certain aspects.

Like, as a quick example: Theo's sexuality. He stated himself that it was important to him and Kate (Theo) to open with her in the night club hooking up with a woman to immediately recognize that part of the character whereas the 1999 movie more or less skated over. In the novel, Theo is very much hinted at being a lesbian (because of course when the book was published, things were a lot different). My point being that while he lost some aspects while filming, he tried hard to make something good. Did he succeed? That's up for debate and that's totally fine. The thing with art is that people interpret it differently. There's the possibility that we're seeing exactly what he was thinking when reading it himself. I'm not saying your analysis is wrong and that he's right for missing the mark in any way, just that he interpreted it differently

There's also the perils of the filmmaking process as a whole in the rewrites and what Netflix wanted and how the writing process actually went. I know that when they started filming they didn't have everything written out. Maybe there were other writers or the production company making changes (I do know there were several scenes cut that he didn't want to get rid of), I don't know. All we have is the final product, that's all we get to see. We don't know what got pushed, saved and cut.

It's been a few years since I've read the book and even though I remember a lot about it, the human mind is fallible and maybe I'm on the other side of you where the show is more prevalent in my mind so I'll definitely need a reread and to reexamine the show, do a side by side comparison. But thank you for pointing all of that out, I can understand your plight with him in that sense.

[I do not have an english degree and it has been years since I was in college (even more since I was in the class where we actively discussed the book itself) so there's a lot that I may misspeak on as far as themes of the book, etc. ]

Let me say this to close: separating the show from the book, in my personal opinion, the show is one of the best I have ever seen and greatly appreciate his work on it. KNOWING he did not initially come up with the ideas for the story and that he had a fuloundation to build upon, I still think he did really well. He could've done worse and not worked as hard to preserve as much of the original story as he did. (I think I made the distinction in my original post but to reiterate: I think I'm okay with a lot of it because I feel like this is a fanfic he's made of Jackson's work )

Thank you for your honest opinion, I like hearing others and why they have certain views

#hopefully what I meant came across as genuine and not at all sarcastic or anything negative #I do greatly aplreciate hearing other people but know how a lot can be lost in text #thank you for reaching out!#i would like to hear if others have DIFFERENT reasons for the hill house discourse or if this is the prevalent issue #I can understand if this is it AND if there's other stuff #people have opinions for reasons!#like how a lot of people love It Follows but I personally didn't care for it?#we all have reasons and I'm just curious when it comes to this specific piece of media #ask #questions #the haunting of hill house #mike flanagan

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psychewritesbs · 11 months ago

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What do you think that made Jujutsu Kaisen different from any other shounen? Also, why do you think that most people said it's overated? I don't mean anything negative, just want to know your opinions on this. Thanks to you I started JJK manga and anime, and I love it (sorry as a new fan, at first I hesitate because of the negative stigmas that I found on fandom about this series).....

Also, why do you think that Gojo is a popular character?

First of all... I'm SORRY! I've literally been writing an answer to you for like for ever and ever 😭

It's just that I've been thinking long and hard about your ask because how do I objectively gush about what makes jjk amazing, when all sense of objectivity and normalcy walked out the door in 2020?

So I'll start by saying FUCKYES I don't know what fandom you found me through, but I LOVE hearing that you decided to give jjk a shot despite what other people might say about it. Most especially if you found that you love it.

I think that, for all of its flaws, jjk is still a wonderful story exploring deep truths about the human condition.

So I'm going to glaze on jjk like there's no tomorrow under the cut'o!

Glaaaaaaaaze....

Regarding the idea that most people think it's overrated: It's really simple... jjk is a very multilayered niche story.

By multilayered I mean that everything from a meathead battle shonen fan, to a brainiac "intellectual" who doesn't care for the battles that much, and everyone in between, will find something that they can enjoy in jjk.

✅ Canon/headcanon romance ✅ Battles ✅ Existentialism ✅ Amazing characters ✅ Spirituality and esoteric concepts ✅ Power scaling

The problem is that jjk is so mainstream because of this mass appeal, that it could never live up to everyone's expectations, nor it should. That is not to mention that the more popular it becomes, the more people who are simply not going to like jjk it will reach.

In the end, jjk is at its core a niche story published in a shonen magazine, catering to a very specific audience.

To me, for every person saying jjk is overrated, there's 9 people who love it. And maybe I can't back up my totally made up statistic with facts, but jjk wouldn't have 90 million copies in circulation if most people thought it is overrated--they just happen to be the loudest and I can't wait for them to stfu lol.

🤪...

So that's really it. jjk is so popular that it has gotten the attention of people who aren't going to like it for whatever reason they might have. Sometimes it's simply personal taste, and sometimes it's them missing the point. These are the people calling jjk overrated.

How do I know? Because when I heard all of the hype surrounding csm and how it was the second coming of manga Christ, I decided to read it and found it to be incredibly overrated. That doesn't make csm objectively bad, btw, it just mean I personally don't care for Fujimoto's writing or art.

What makes jjk different from other shonen?

What I want to say is that I'm wondering if there is an objective measure for what makes jjk different. I think the obvious answer is that jjk has successfully subverted tropes time and time again. But I think it actually goes much deeper than that.

I am not sure that I speak for everyone. But... like would I be me if I didn't turn this answer into an exploration of depth? It's just that for those of us who feel jjk in our bones and don't see it as yet another basic shonen story... I feel like jjk speaks deeply to our humanity.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, stories are carriers of subjective truth and experience. And jjk is moving and shaking the collective psyche because of what it's saying about our shared humanity.

The basic shonen recipe

(source)

The thing is that I started watching Jujutsu Kaisen because I had an expectation that a shonen story had a good chance of catching my attention.

I've seen a lot of anime, and a lot shonen anime to be more specific. So I went in assuming jjk would follow a specific recipe.

Light haired, yang/Sun archetype, happy go lucky with a single-minded determination to achieve something shonen mc who goes on a hero's journey, learns about himself, and powers up as a result of his journey...

Bonus points if he has a demon inside of him and joins a tight knit 3-man squad made up by dynamic personalities that is mentored by the strongest teacher.

That said, it is the way Gege has explored every single one of these tropes that has made jjk unique in my eyes. I particularly love that there is a certain intentionality to how jjk's characters express typical shonen character traits outside of the way the recipe is usually followed...

The result is the same... but the means and the journey in jjk are explored through an existential and psychological lens that is very grounded in our humanity (aka relatable).

I think more than being a battle shonen, jjk is an exploration of the sense of self first and foremost.

In that sense, jjk is an exploration on how the sense of self is shaped. Like the panel above setting the stage for one of the main themes in jjk: how facing the existential fear of death shapes the sense of self.

So to me jjk is intentional about asking deep questions about life, and telling stories about characters who ask the same questions and how they go about finding answers.

As such, jjk asks that we question the very foundation of our identity as we come face to face with how our expectations haven't matched up to the reality of the world around us...

Similarly, jjk asks that we consider the difference between choosing a life worth living true to what truly matters to us...

...and realizing a little bit too late that what we thought mattered was not as important...

jjk is saying there are consequences to your actions and face them you must even if it all feels bleak...

And to me, that's because Gege understands people on a very deep level. To the point that if you're a jjk fan and you feel moved by any of its characters, they move you deeply.

A lot of this is in the subtext, of course, so not everyone can understand these themes on an intellectual level, nor do they care for. And it doesn't matter if they do or not because jjk still shakes and moves so many people to the point that you have people who make a sport out of hating on it and spend hours complaining about it... like who has that much energy to focus on something they don't like 😭?

Anyway... if I had to say one thing that makes jjk unique, it is how it story tells--which is ironically the main complaint people have about it. Again... it's a niche story that has mass appeal.

I love Gege's writing because to me it isn't about his technical skill, but his vision and the topics he explores. As someone who's been consuming animanga for 25+ years, an author with a unique writing style and an interesting premise doesn't come often. Gege is that author for me.

Anyways... Gege probably didn't even think of any of that...

jjk is just another battle shonen.

About why people love Gojo

Honestly? I'm the wrong person to ask 😂. I haven't a clue. Maybe because he's a cute bishoen? And also the strongest?

No clue lol. Anyone want to chime in with why they love Gojo?

But I fully agree with this and saved it just for you lol 👇🏼

(source)

Thanks for dropping by anon! :)

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl #god i love jujutsu kaisen

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