#I have so many things I should be doing right now

[dduane]

Just a local update

For those who'll be wanting to know how I'm doing: I think right now the line from The Right Stuff is probably apropos. I'm "maintaining an even strain."

I sort of have no choice, because there's a lot of bureaucratic stuff surrounding Peter's loss that has to be dealt with, and there's not really anyone else to fall back on: in terms of local legalities; this burden falls on me. (shrug) So, I'm keepin' on keepin' on. It's not easy, when half your world has ended: but there's nothing else to do.

Just repeating the news that I just edited into the original post about all this: the "funeral expenses" issue is now handled.

And I want to thank EVERYBODY who so incredibly generously has stepped up to assist. You are all, every one of you, in my heart right now... not least due to the many, many kind things you've had to say about Peter. Current events mean I'm going to be backed up on the thank-yous for some days yet. Please bear with me.

For those who feel inclined, the Ko-Fi account here is open as usual for those who might simply want to drop something into the pot tagged "GNU Peter Morwood."* I'm looking into his notes about his preferred charities so that I can split all such donations in those directions. (For example, P. lost a beloved cousin to childhood leukemia, so I'm looking around for appropriate cancer charities. ...But more of that later.)

In local issues: I'm still waiting for word from the coroner as to when Peter's post-mortem will be happening. (I had hoped it might be today, but there's no news yet.) Not much to be said about this except that the sooner that's all handled and resolved, the happier I'll be. Then other adjacent issues can start being dealt with.

At the physical end: I haven't been sleeping terribly well, but that's probably no surprise. My appetite has been almost nonexistent, but that at least is very slowly starting to recover (to the point where at least food is no longer a source of "no interest whatsoever" or of active distaste). Right now it seems I get better results from eating out instead of cooking in: so that's the way things will go in the very short term.

But for now, pretty much all I can do is sit tight, try to keep household business from getting out of hand (why does it suddenly take so much energy just to do the dishes? ...like I don't know perfectly well why), and wait for Forces Beyond My Control to get moving.

Meanwhile, let me take a moment here to thank everybody who's expressed concern about the state of my wellbeing (and that at a time when I care a whole lot less about it than usual). It's heartening, and I very much appreciate it. I promise to do my best to do right by myself, on all of your behalf. (Behalfs? Behalves? Pfft.)

Thanks again, everybody. —D.

*People are also reminding me that the financial health of the household's still-living member in the immediate future is also an issue here. 😏 Heaven forbid I should argue the point. If you want, tag such donations as "DD" and I'll note that. ...And thanks again, all. I can always count on y'all to look after me. ❤️

[introvertbard]

My main blog is boring. I started out with a work-style "first initial + last name + random numbers," but when I started to see teenagers put their FULL NAMES in their blogs like this is social media, I got worried and switched my username to "introvert bard" because my ass is introverted and a writer/actor.

--

My SECOND writing blog is "Jadevine." When I made it because my first one got taken over by spirituality stuff, I had accumulated 99.5% Filipino urban-fantasy works, so I figured I should name my new writing blog something about Filipino culture. The jadevine's white/scientific name is Strongylodon macrobotrys, and in the Philippines, it's called tayabak. The flowers can be either Really Fucking Blue or Really Fucking Red, and it's great.

--

My FIRST writing blog is now a spirituality blog, and it's Norcalbruja because I am Filipino-American, I live in California, and "bruja" is Spanish for "witch." This may seem like another version of "don't put your real name on non-social media stuff," but California and Hawai'i are the states with the largest Filipino-American populations, so I feel quite safe in anonymity, lol.

In the Philippines, bruja/bruha is commonly an insult for "any woman who is acting up at all," whether you mean that affectionately or not. SORT OF like how English-speakers can use "bitch" to insult someone or to affectionately call their friends, but like many things in Tagalog, this depends heavily on context. When in doubt, assume bruja/bruha is an insult.

But it's also the only word I can find that really fits me. Filipinos have a whole list of healers and spirit-workers based on their specialties, but you can't really swap them out for "bruja/brujo." We got folk healers, diviners, midwives, and black-magic workers, but I'm not any of those because I wasn't taught those practices.

Me and my deceased grandma are the only ones on my mom's side of the family with ANY spiritual powers. (I don't know about my dad's side. There's like forty years of drama, they're on the other side of the country, and they barely talk to my mom.) The way my family treats it, this is not a "tradition" so much as "a thing that crops up sometimes," so it seems like I got the most low-budget X-Gene ever. My mom just called up my aunts and uncles and said, "Hey guess what? Introvertbard thought she saw me one time, BUT she said I was wearing Mom's old clothes! She can see ghosts like Mom did!"

Cue my mom telling my thirteen-year-old self that her family house was by a wartime graveyard. My grandma would routinely see the ghosts of soldiers, lock the kids up in a safe place, and yell at the ghosts to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. People now avoid their old family house because... they keep seeing an old lady who looks suspiciously like my grandma. Nobody who's been sent to maintain/clean it will stay there.

And I'm like "well, this would have been useful to know BEFORE Grandma died." Great job to my mom and nine whole aunts and uncles! I grew up a normal person who likes ghost STORIES and scaring myself in a safe environment (ie, horror movies and "haunted house" attractions), but I'm also afraid of REAL GHOSTS. I must be a VERY suitable person to inherit her grandmother's second-sight.

Hence, I call myself a bruja because I clearly have SOMETHING going on, but I don't know what the fuck to do about it.

USERNAME LORE GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU ALL

[darkbluekies]

Darling scared of spiders

Warnings: mentions of blood and killing

Silas:

He sees blood and violence on a regular, he won't be scared of a little spider. He'll kill it without much fuss and will give you a small look, trying not to tease but can't help to look amused by your fear.

"Such a little scaredy cat I have gotten myself, huh? Well, little thing, if you can't even handle spiders I'm not sure how you'll survive being married to me, but I guess you don't have to worry. You got me, don't you?"

Dr Kry:

Rational. Calm. No big deal. He grabs the enarest cup and paper and releases the spider somewhere else. Doesn't really matter where as long as it's out of your sight. Unlike others, he won't mock you for it. The poison in your blood makes everything weird, he can't blame you for that.

"That's that, it's gone now. No more spiders in here, I promise. That's right, go back to sleep. You need the rest. Good girl/boy. I'll take care of it, don't worry."

King Edmund:

Who's worse? You? Or him? He hates insects, hates everything crawling weird, things with too many legs and eyes. They're disgusting and makes his skin crawl. But a castle is an excellent spot for spiders. He'll order one of the maids to get it out while he sits with you.

"Damn worthless creatures coming into our quarters to terrify us in our own home. One should burn them all. Suck them up with a vaccum and burn the bag. How dare they think they can come close like that. They should know who we are, shouldn't they? They're in our house, afterall."

Jerry:

Dr Kry didn't say anything, Edmund was agreeing with you, and Silas tried to not tease ... but Jerry? At this point you'd rather try to get the spider yourself than to ask her, because the aftermath is not worth it. She'll mock you, grin, smirk, pretend to throw the spider at you.

"Oh, come on, it's cute. Are you scared of a little spider, you wuss? A little defensless spider that thinks you're twice as ugly as you think they are? How do you want me to kill it? You have the honors of deciding."

Hedwig:

Oh. Oh this girl despises spiders. The only insect this girl likes is lady bugs and even then she doesn't want one too close. Spiders make her nearly faint. She screams, hides, orders someone to get it. She'll be even worse than you, but will make sure to care for you too.

"Come here, love, let's go out of here, someone else will take care of it. Oh, ew, ew ew. I fucking hate those things ... oh, I'm shivering, let's go drink some water. You're so brave, my love, you looked at that spider so fiercely. My brave boy/girl."

[salty-autistic-writer]

Buck has something to say. (Or: an alternative take on that kitchen scene)

“I think you should leave.”

The words cut into the cold, tense air in the kitchen like a knife.

They take Buck's breath away for a stunned, heart-stuttering moment. Did that just come out of his mouth?

Eddie finally looks at him, finally sees him. “What?” He asks, baffled.

“I want you to leave,” Buck repeats. And yes. He does. He’s tired of this. Tired in general. Enough.

Eddie blinks, his lips slightly parted. He exhales a disbelieving scoff, throwing his hands in the air. “Really? We are doing this now? Now, when we are both grieving? Seriously, Buck …”

“How dare you?” Buck hisses, curling a hand into a fist. “How dare you suggest I didn’t do what I could. That I didn’t do enough to, to save Bobby?”

“Buck,” Eddie starts.

No.

Buck raises his hand. “Now you listen. You listen to me. I watched him die, Eddie. I watched Bobby die. I saw death on his face, in his eyes. I was there. And I was alone. Bobby knew he was going to die, and he sent me away. He … He said I’m going to be fine. But I’m not. I’m not fine. And that’s okay. Because I just lost one of the most important people in my life. Bobby was the father I never had.”

Eddie sneers. “Bobby was your Captain. Our Captain. We all lost him! You don’t get to claim him! We all have to live without him, move on with our lives. But you don’t see any of us behaving like a child throwing a tantrum!”

Buck crosses his arms over his chest, his blood rushing in his ears. “I’m not a child, Eddie. I’m an adult, and I have enough of you telling me how I’m supposed to feel. These last few days, I’ve been thinking about the 118 all the time. About how to fix everything. Because everything feels so cold without Bobby. Everything feels broken.” 

He stops, swallowing heavily. There are so many emotions bubbling up inside of him. And now he can’t stop. He has to let it out.

“You are my best friend, Eddie. I thought friends are supposed to be there for each other. I thought a friend would be able to offer some kind of comfort. But I guess you’ve been too busy with your own grief. Look. I’m sorry you had to wake up at night and hear about this over the phone. But that’s not my fault. And it’s not my fault that you had to tell Chris either. It’s also not my fault that Bobby died. I didn’t want any of this to happen. And every day, I wish I could go back in time to change things.

I’m not okay. And you should know. But here you are, telling me I might not have done enough. You of all people should know. You should know what Bobby meant to me. But it starts to feel like you don’t know me at all. I’m not that great at communicating my feelings or, or my needs. But I’m working on it. And what I can tell you right now is that I’m tired of this, Eddie. I’m tired of being blamed and being told I’m making everything about me, when actually, my stomach, chest, and head hurt every day when I think about everyone else and how sad they are. That includes you, by the way. But I guess, in some way, I lost you too. Now, leave. I want you to leave.”

Buck stops, breathing heavily. It’s been a long time since he talked so much. Maybe he never did. But he needed this. Needed to get this weight off his heart.

The rage inside him is loud. But the sad and aching part of him hopes that Eddie will say No, I won’t leave. Hopes that he will stay. That he will say, it’s okay, we can solve this problem. We can talk. We can comfort each other. We can work on fixing this.

He looks at Eddie, and inside, he’s yelling. Say something.

But Eddie only stares at him, his brows furrowed and his jaw tense. Finally, he nods curtly and says, “Alright. Alright, Buck.”

He storms out of the kitchen. Buck can hear him pack his bag. His stomach sinks. So. That’s it then. There’s nothing left to fight for, it seems.

His heart pounding, Buck waits in the silence until he hears Eddie walk out and slam the door.

He winces, wrapping his arms around himself, breathing heavily. He feels so cold. And alone. Tears are burning in his eyes.

God. Everything is so broken.

Buck wipes at his eyes with the back of his head, sniffs, and reaches for his phone with a shaky hand. He hesitates. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe it’s selfish. But … he needs. He needs a little bit of warmth.

Hey. Can you come over? Only if you have time. I really need to talk to someone.

He sends the text after staring at it for a few long minutes and tries to ignore the voice in his head calling him pathetic.

* Buck opens the door and Tommy smiles at him, “Hey - What’s going on?”

Too much.

Almost instantly, the smile fades and Tommy’s brows furrow as his eyes flicker over Buck’s face, down to where he’s nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

“Evan. Are you okay?”

No.

Buck just shakes his head. He talked so much. Now, he doesn’t have any more words left. He’s empty. 

Ashamed, he lowers his head. Avoids prying eyes. He shouldn’t be like this. He’s an adult. Maybe Eddie is right. Maybe he is nothing but a child throwing a tantrum, making everything about himself …

“Come here,” Tommy says softly.

Buck looks up, seeing Tommy opening his arms. He exhales shakily and falls forward into the embrace. Sinks into it. Into the warmth. He closes his eyes and allows himself to feel safe for a moment.

Everything is broken, but this feels like a shell he can hide in. At least for the moment.

(AO3 Link)

[probablynotcaptainbritain]

So, I think this is an interesting take, but one that misses a fundamental problem with AI. OP mentions this idea of desiring an artistic output without a particular amount of toil, and thats fair. Many people want to have written a novel or painted a painting without putting time or pain in.

But here's the thing. If you have an AI generate an output of work, you don't have an output of work! *The AI does.* This is, in my opinion less like using a new art software to help smooth out the edges, and more like paying an artist for a commission. It can on some level convey your ideas (more on that in a second), but ultimately it is doing this creation. Using AI for background assistance or the like *is* using an artistic tool! And these features have existed for years! But having an AI generate something whole-cloth is not making art. In fact, I'd argue that claiming you made it is tantamount to plagiarism!(Note: Before I get yelled at, this is not a condemnation of commissioned art! I love commissions a great deal! But Im also not under the illusion that I made them!)

In a similar vein to the commission idea, using AI to express your ideas is inherently going to put a filter over your ideas! You may be attempting to create something that conveys the most powerful ideas, but ultimately your interpretation is not what's being conveyed. Art is personal. Its not just about the ideas in it, but the interpretation coming through. Two people are unlikely to express an idea the same way.

But with an AI you dont know whose perspective its drawing from, or even what imagery its using! A piece intended for queer liberation may feature homophobic imagery you never intended, because you didnt make it!

Even slop made by a person has traces of the creator in it! Maybe its just a paycheck, and you can see it in ragged lines that aren't on the works that excite them. Maybe to them art is just disposable entertainment, who knows? Its still slop, but by the gods its slop that is theirs. AI Slop cannot be said to be made by anyone, as its just regurgitated ideas that dont even have cynicism or weariness.

I also think there are ideas about differences between Commercial and Private art swirling around this conversation that I dont have the energy or knowledge base to unpack, but still wanted to acknowledge are present.

To Circle Back To the idea of an Artistic Output Without Toil And People Not Deserving to Make Art: I think its absolutely possible to make meaningful art without significant amount of toil. I think a small doodle that took someone 3 minutes, or a poem on the back of a napkin can be beautiful, soulful art.

One of my favorite pieces of art is a silly Wonder Woman sketch my partner drew me. It didn't take the same level of toil that say The Wave of Kanegawa, or New Mutants 18 or Look Back took. But it was theirs, and they made it with the things that make them theirself. Im sorry to say this, but an AI couldn't do that! Couldn't make me grin like an idiot seeing it, or tear up right now thinking about it. Art is very personal whether you realize it or not! A big part of the beauty of art is the pieces of the people who make it embedded in the work.

I also think AI feeds into people's expectation that art has to look certain ways! The problem is rarely the artist, and more often the preconceived notions weighing them down. When you dont feel like you're capable of making the art you want, you're more likely to make someone or something else do it for you.

But once you push past expectations, there's a world of art you *can* make! If its a matter of technical ability, and you not being able to make exactly what you envision: Try other tools, or even another medium! If you don't know how to draw it, try making it as a collage! Making art is fun when you free yourself from the expectation of how it should look! You may even surprise yourself with how it turns out!

I believe that every single person on earth is capable of great art if they only give themselves the chance to make it. I just want to see you all flourish. :)

(Sorry if this is rambly, but the above post gave me a lot of thoughts and feelings!)

atp i hope it's clear that my stance is not that everyone needs to like and be okay with generative ai art, my stance is that i am not going to take your reasons for disliking generative ai art seriously if they are rooted in the idea that it's bad because it can't produce art with a soul. or that the very act of desiring an artistic output without putting in Enough Work To Deserve It is threatening the fabric of society.

It's an obscenely conservative way to think about art and i'm not going to give it any legitimacy at all. i don't believe in a human soul and i don't believe the value of art comes from the amount of toil it required. i think that, right now and for the rest of human existence there will be creatives who continue to use the tools at their disposal to express meaningful ideas into the world. i don't think the idea that one of those tools could theoretically be an AI image generator is that unreasonable.

most ai generated content is slop but plenty of stuff crafted by human hands is slop too. the way to separate good art from bad art is not by drawing hard lines about what is 'allowed' to count as art, or saying there is an irreplaceable quality to a work that it gets imbued with when created by an Ensouled Being. the way to separate good art from bad art is to earnestly engage with the things you see in the world around you to develop and refine your own tastes about what sort of things you find meaningful and valuable.

it's like such a bizarre simultaneous devaluing and sanctifying of art at the same time to me. like art is so important and special and species-defining and the people who make it possess some sort of unique spiritual quality that can not be artificially replicated. but also Art is somehow a fragile and narrow enough thing that it's at risk of being irreparably bastardized or eradicated because of a machine. i don't get it. i don't get it!

[rose-maidenn]

Pick a card : What to manifest this full moon and upcoming days

Happy full moon folks, choose with your intuition and take what resonates, order 1-2-3 hope it helps let me know if it does love love 🌷

Masterlist , Paid readings

Pile 1 :

I see something about relief , if you or anyone around you is suffering from something you're advised to ask for relief and manifest it , something about a lace dress as well , you might wanna wear it the next function, i aslo get that u should eat more fruits and walk your dog . Your English teacher really appreciates you . As per my cards you have to let something go maybe some friendship or relationship, you have to do a cord cutting with this person or situation. It's hampering you , you're clinging to it will your dear life and it's eating all your energy up I'm so sorry but you gotta leave this behind . Learn to take life less seriously sometimes especially in the case of people cause humans are fickle , be stern headed about your goals manifest that your intentions maybe clear this full moon pray for clarity and call out to your soul to give you power to go for what you actually wanna do with your life , let life take you , let your guides and gods carry and cradle you they know what to do . Also get grounded consider red foods , wearing red and do some root chakra meditation. All the best !!!!!

Pile 2:

Are you Egyptian haha or else you might wanna look into the history and culture of Egypt that will be significant in your journey , i also see something about being more athletic this season and planting some flowers in your garden in honour of a deceased someone . This full moon focus on rejuvenation, you know what happens when one works too hard , creativity blocks okay so see I don't think you need to be this harsh on yourself okay you will get everything that you want but in time okay so give yourself and the universe that required time . This full moon manifest a girly community or new friends who understand you and love you for who you are for men manifest a community of men who want to see you win and will support and motivate you . Manifest more help from your guides and pray for building a stronger connection with your guides or gods . If you have applied for a job or exam okay manifest a positive result right now be confident as the answer is most likely a yes , this could also be in the case if you're proposing to someone . Trust your path and manifest to heal you from trust or abandonment issues you're good real good you're amazing you got this !!!!!

Pile 3 :

This full moon pray for understanding that sometimes things happen not to us but for us and this situation is just like it you know sometimes we just need a little understanding to leave a lot of stuff that doesn't belong in your life , you're reaching a deadline for some project or assignment this is a sign to complete it rn . You need rest and last pile needed rest but you need it more than anything , so many things are getting blocked because you don't sleep and keep overthinking, pray that you do not overthink no more things will happen in their own pace you know you just have to do your duty and leave it on God . Manifest your soul family / soul tribe call in real support from people . This full moon manifest that you can let go of karmic baggage from your past lives or this life and start anew with no more contracts or baggage you're new this is new you're rejuvenated . Your soul tribe is so close , think who are the people you feel are from your tribe intuitively and invest your time in them and they will do the same for you in return . Manifest more financial stability and home if you're looking to move out soon . Take care of you !!!!!!

Thanks for reading , have an amazing day 🌷

[heartyluv]

I LOVE how you write the lads guys!!! May I please request taking advantage (in a kind way, of course) of zayne’s medical expertise and asking him silly medical questions? Just like really random stuff! lounging around with him at home or being out and about while asking those questions would be so funny and I’m sure he would kind of like it lol

Note: This idea is too cute, I love it. Thank you so much, luvly. I felt like this works best as headcanons, so I hope that’s okay. 😚 Enjoy!

Creds to @/strangergraphics for the dividers!

Warning: Just a brief explicit headacanon after you and Zayne have been intimate.

Zayne/Reader

✴︎ Dating a doctor meant that you officially had a walking medical encyclopedia for a boyfriend and you had no shame in utilizing his knowledge. Thankfully for you, Zayne was always happy to deliver whenever you asked him all kinds of questions.

✴︎ I feel like when you start getting comfortable enough to ask him, it’s really simple things. Like it’s questions about your personal health at first. You’ve definitely asked him something like; “Babe, how do I make my headaches go away faster?” and “What do you think are the best vitamins I should take so I don’t have to keep taking gross ones that aren’t doing anything?”

✴︎ Not only does Zayne answer your questions, but he gives you some deeper insight so that you have your own knowledge about things. And you like learning from him—especially because of the way he looks at you as you stay hooked onto his every word.

✴︎ He loves the little text messages you send him. You ask him something almost everyday, sometimes even attaching a photo for reference LOL. I picture you at the supermarket, stumbling upon these new health beverages that you want to try out. But if your Dr. Zayne says that they’re simply drinks full of more sugar than actual benefits, you’ll have zero problem putting them back on the shelf. “Do any of these actually work for gut health? I sent you the nutrition label. What do you think?”

✴︎ I believe he always takes your questions seriously, but you have moments where you ask him something so ridiculous that he can’t help but laugh. “Zayne, babe… I ate like three apples and a pomegranate, and now my mouth feels weird. Am I dying?” Don’t catch him on a day where he’s feeling goofy either, because he might scare you a little bit.

✴︎ “You may have oral allergy syndrome, my love.” Just imagine his tone being dead serious and the silence that follows. And when you start losing it over the phone, he tries to calm you down, but he’s just smiling so hard at your theatrics. When you search it up and you start worrying if you’ll ever be able to eat another mango again in your life, he tries to suppress his laughter, all while attempting to soothe you at the same time.

✴︎ You’ll be walking around while you guys are on a date and will randomly ask him how many calories does he think you’ve burned, just to see how accurate he is compared to your walking app that tracks all of that for you. Not only does he get incredibly close, he’s also able to do the same with the amount of steps you’ve actually taken.

✴︎ “Quick, we’ve been walking thirty minutes, normal paced. How many calories? Go!”

✴︎ Just wait till you start watching one of those medical shows. You never watch an episode without him because you have to know how accurate the writing is. He’s gotten through three seasons with you and sometimes, he’d answer questions before you even asked because he just knows you so well. And you legitimately learn so much that even you start pointing out unrealistic things yourself.

✴︎ “That doesn’t even make sense. He was hit in a major artery, wasn’t he Zayne? He shouldn’t even be able to argue with a doctor right now.” He’s so proud of you, by the way. How information sticks with you. And honestly? He finds it sexy—particularly knowing that he’s the reason why you know the things that you do.

✴︎ Times when you try to eat healthier, you always ask him how many calories something will be if you take something out or off. Like you’d still eat junk food or foods that aren’t exactly healthy, but you wonder what the difference will be if you add a vegetable. LOLLL.

✴︎ “Zayne, if I put only mushrooms on the pizza, is that better?”

“Honey, I think it’s best to just discard the pizza entirely in order to properly fulfill the goal you intended to reach.”

“But Zayne…It’s Friday and it’s pizza.”

✴︎ Some more questions off the top of my head from you would be; “If I eat more carrots than usual, will the decrease my chances of having to wear those thick bifocals when we’re old?

“If I’m on top more often when we have sex, will that tone my thighs out more?”

“How is it possible to drink a gallon of water a day? There’s just not enough time to drink all that liquid.”

✴︎ Omg, you totally believe that ginger is like the cure all and you even make him eat a raw slice of it a day LOLLLL. He admits that it has its benefits, but when he tries to tell you that you have to do more than just eat ginger, you listen, but you’re still so insistent about it.

✴︎ “Despite the benefits and your complete belief in the sacred ginger, love, please make sure you continue to take your daily supplements. Add to your regimen so that you improve your health—don’t take from it believing that something is an optimal replacement.”

✴︎ This one is a little explicit. But, I imagine you and him finish having sex, he’s on top of you, both of you already came and feel good. And even when you’re breathless, even with the glorious man above you, you can’t help it when you ask: “Do you think we’ve met our quota on physical activity for the next few days?”

✴︎ Zayne can’t help but laugh, leaning down to kiss your neck. But he’s also filthy enough to move his hips just a little, hinting that he in fact could go again and says, “I think it’s best to try again… One more time, just to be safe. I’m sure the quota will be more than met once I’m finished with you.”

✴︎ Of course you’re going to let him fuck your brains out again. Why wouldn’t you let Dr. Zayne take care of you? What kind of patient would you be if you didn’t?

[styrofauxm]

Thank you for asking! I'm going to break this up a bit, to try to answer all parts. If I missed something though, please let me know.

First: how am I defining love? I am defining it in the broad sense, love for anything and anyone.

Second: is that bullet point referring to people who do not feel love at all? In part. It's also referring to people who have a complex experience with love, and to people who simply find love to be unimportant to them personally. There's a few terms that I know of associated with this, loveless, anattractional, and lovequeer.

I'm focusing on lovelessness simply because I know the most about it. "Loveless aromantic" is defined as "Describes a person on the aromantic spectrum who feels disconnected from the concept of love, does not experience love, or rejects the idea of personally experiencing love. Loveless aros may experience other attractions, but do not equate these attractions to love" (source). Note: while this definition is specifically for people on the aromantic spectrum, I see no reason why someone not on the aromantic spectrum could not use the loveless label.

Third: am I saying that those for whom love is key are somehow anti-aromantic? Absolutely not. If that were the case, I may be one of the worst aromantics around. Personally, love is very important to me and my life. I certainly don't seek to diminish that for myself or anyone else.

As for love as a force within the universe, I'm not going to touch on that, as I don't feel comfortable having an opinion on, much less commenting on spiritual beliefs that I know so little about. So how that ties in I'm going to leave up to you to decide.

I will say, as a personal note that may help bridge some gaps, is that I find the diversity of the human experience to be one of the most wonderful things about being human. There are 8 billion people alive right now, and 117 billion people preceded us. I find it unlikely that we have any one truly unifying experience, but I also find that deeply beautiful. That we can be so similar, all built from the same stuff, but also all so different.

Fourth, to your "what?", I'm going to link a few things by loveless aromantics, as I'm certain they would do better at describing their own experiences than I could.

I Am Not Voldemort - Essay about lovelessness, credited with coining the term

Love and Attraction: Yet Another Shape of Allo-Aro Antagonism - Follow-up from the previous essay by the same person

Loveless and Arospec Thoughts - Collection of many different loveless aromantic's thoughts and experiences regarding lovelessness

The Aros Left Behind: the Loveless - Interview with people who do and don't identify with the loveless label

Of the above, the most important to check out are the 1st and 3rd. There's also a couple other resources in my original post (which I've now edited to have better formatting, including descriptive links, instead of just meaningless numbers T-T).

Finally, I feel like there's an underlying question here of "how does this tie into being an ace/aro ally?" And there's a few reasons.

I find that just saying "well you may not feel romantic love but you still feel love" to not be particularly supportive, as it's incredibly conditional. I should not have to make up for my lack of romantic attraction with anything, even stuff besides love.

The hateful rhetoric often directed at loveless and non-ace/aro aspec people is, at it's core, the exact same hateful rhetoric directed at ace and aro people who do feel love/attraction. The underlying hatred remains, it just so happens that we get an exception. But what happens if (when) the goodwill that fueled us getting an exception runs dry?

Most importantly, just as people say you can't call yourself an LGBTQ+ ally unless you support all of the letters, I don't think you can call yourself an aspec ally unless you really support all aspec people.

Honestly, I am pretty frustrated by the "haha why would anyone hate ace people" responses to Rowling's tweet.

Don't get me wrong, the support is nice. But if you want to be an ally, you have to do so on our terms, not yours. And that means actually engaging with the aspec community, not just posting positivity every now and again. And what those responses highlight to me is what I've known for a while; you guys only support aspec people when it's easy and convenient.

It's easy to support aspec people when it's J.K. Rowling being awful again. It's easy to support us when it's just reblogging an "aspec people are queer" post.

But what about when we are talking about amatonormativity and the relationship hierarchy? When we are discussing the enforcement of compulsory sexuality? When we are pushing for greater awareness and support for aspec identities that are not asexuality or aromanticism? When we are criticizing terminology that you use but harms us? Because I can tell you right now, I rarely see allo people engage with those posts.

Why do people hate asexuality (or any other aspec identity)? Because it challenges the societal norms that benefit them. And that is uncomfortable and scary. So they turn to hate and oppression in order to assure that the changes we push by just openly existing never happen.

That means that to be a good aspec ally, you can't just make a positivity post every now and again, and you can't just laugh about how stupid aphobes are. You have to openly challenge the societal norms that harm us, even if they benefit you. Including but not limited to:

The idea that romantic and sexual attraction is the default state of being (amatonormativity)

The idea that a romantic, sexual relationship completes a person

People in marriages receiving special privileges and benefits

The idea that platonic, familial, etc. attraction are default states of being

The idea that not feeling some form of attraction must be compensated for through another form of attraction

The idea that love (not just romantic) is inherently morally good, while not feeling love is inherently a moral failing

The idea that any one form of relationship is inherently more important or deeper than any other (relationship hierarchy)

The idea that any one thing makes someone human

The idea that not having sex is shameful or infantile

The idea that having sex without romantic love is callous

Gendered divides of sexual and romantic attraction

Other aspec people please feel free to add on/challenge any of this. Allo (not aspec) people please feel free to ask questions.

I've placed some resources for learning more about these topics under the cut.

Amatonormativity:

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5 - also in the Loveless section] [6 - also in the Compulsory Sexuality section]

Marriage Benefits:

[1]

Other Aspec Identities:

[Aplatonicism] [Afamilialism]

Loveless:

[1] [2 - also in the Amatonormativity section] [3] [4] [5]

Compulsory Sexuality:

[1 - also in the Amatonormativity section] [2]

Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:

[1] [2] [3]

Oppression:

[1] [2] [3]

Miscellaneous:

[1] [2]

Books and Video Essays:

An Ace Discourse Retrospective by Jenny Geist

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

[reavesluv]

Cameras

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x influencer fem!reader.

Summary: You and Paige are big figures in the internet, Paige just came out to the world as a lesbian and you've always been open about your sexuality. So your managers got a plan.

Fake dating + she plays hard to get

Part 1.

Part 2. “Moving to Dallas.”

notes: Im sorry if this is so bad i honestly have writers block right now 😔

You never thought a fake relationship could change your life in so many ways as it did now that you’re with Paige.

Honestly, Paige wasn’t so bad at all. You two shared a lot of time together while pretending to be lovers, it was actually fun.

Going together to a mall, date nights, park walks with your little Pomeranian called “Cherry.” – Which Paige loves, by the way.

“Cherry! Come here!” You screamed, running behind your dog.

“Y/N, is a damn park. She’s not gonna leave!” Paige screamed watching you run around.

“I don’t care, what if someone steals her?” You screamed back.

“Oh gosh.” She thought. “What did i do to get involved with this girl?”

Paige started running your way to make you stop chasing Cherry.

She was faster than you, obviously. So it wasn’t long until you felt her arms wrapped around your waist making you stop.

You were a little sweaty, trying to calm your breath. But she hugged you anyway.

“I promise you, she’s not gonna leave.” Paige said, wiping away your sweat with her hand.

“Fine.” You pouted. “But if she leaves, i’ll leave you.”

She laughed, amused at what you said. “Oh, you wouldn’t.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine, no. But anyway you’re gonna have to find her.”

She chuckled. “Okay, love.”

Oh, love.

Paige had no idea how much you actually cared about her, and she just loved to make all the “pretending” stuff so difficult for you.

“Come here and sit with me, we’ll take some pictures while Cherry plays around.” She adds.

“Okay, sure.” You answer, smiling at her like an idiot.

Being with Paige became more than just a “fake relationship.” But, you were not sure if it was only you, or if she felt the same way.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Now you were packing your things, your life, inside three suitcases to move to Dallas, literally the other fucking side of the country.

Draft night was pretty fun, Paige being number one overall pick was amazing, you couldn’t deny that you were really proud of her.

“Congrats, Paige.” You say. Standing up from the table you both were to give her a hug.

“Thanks, pretty.” She answered.

“You’re just teasing me.” You chuckled.

She got closer to your ear so no cameras could record what she was saying.

“Maybe, but is not difficult to pretend i’m not, right?” She said. And after that, she left the table to grab her Wings jersey.

It killed you the fact that Paige loved to pretend. Because that was what she was doing, just pretending.

The after party was worse, everyone blackout drunk, messing around other people. And Paige was definitely one of them.

“Fuck Y/N, you look insanely gorgeous tonight.” She says, getting closer to you. She smelled so much like alcohol you could tell she was not in her five senses.

“Thank you Paige, but you’re too drunk to think.”

“Am i? Naaaahh.” She took another sip of her drink. “Bet you love pretending to be with me.”

“What?” You asked, curious.

“Yeah, don’t lie to me Y/N. I know you love to walk around while everyone thinks i fuck you.”

“Is not like that, Paige.”

“Isn’t it?” She said wrapping an arm around your waist. “Because we could stop pretending and you should let me fuck you.”

Your heart started beating so fast, you didn’t know what to say or do.

“Paige–” You took a deep breath. “I’m taking you home.”

She smirked. “Oh really, now?”

“Yeah, but is not like that. You’re too drunk, and you’re not even gonna remember this tomorrow.”

“Come on, baby. You know you want to.”

Fuck, it was really so difficult for you.

“Whatever Paige, but not tonight.” You ended.

She pouted at you. “Can i at least get a kiss? So the cameras can have a little pic of us going around, y’know.”

Your heart was beating so fast you thought it would explode. “Ye–ah.?” You tried to answer.

And that was it.

She kissed you. Like she loved you.

And you knew she didn’t.

Next morning, she didn’t remember. Neither of you saw pictures.

So she never knew she kissed you.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Do i really have to?” You ask Lena.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. But yes, if you wanna keep up with all of this, you need to move in with her.”

“I didn’t expect you would tell me to move in when she got drafted!”

“Well it was obvious, wasn’t it?”

“No.”

Paige was already in Dallas, waiting for you.

You had to text her to tell her the new plan your managers came up with, she didn’t seem bothered by it.

Paige, i have to move in with you, did you hear?

Yeah, Louis told me

You okay with that?

Yeah, i guess we can work it out

Okay, i’ll be on the first plane to dallas tomorrow morning

Alright, i’ll see you then

You weren’t ready, like, why would you be ready to move in with someone you’re not even dating, and worse, in the other side of the country?

The plane landed on dallas. You were not a texas type of girl, so everything was going to change.

Some of the stuff and furniture you had to bring with you from LA was in another plane, so you had to wait for it.

Paige, i’m in texas!

That’s good Y/N, i’m heading to the airport right now

Okay, thank you

see you there, love

Your eyes brightened when you saw her. In a slick back ponytail, nike dunks and baggy jeans.

“Heeey.” You said.

“Hey, welcome to our new city.” She answered.

You chuckled and hugged her softly. “Is it good in here?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Just a bit hot, though.” she laughed.

You both chuckled. Paige noticed you had a worried look on your face, so she held your hand softly.

“We’ll make this work Y/N. We complement each other.”

“Yeah, i know.” You sighed. “I just really miss California.”

She chuckled. “Hey, but at least you have me.”

You chuckled back. “You’re right. I’m here, but with you.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

finally part 2, i’m so sorry, im a lazy writer 🤓

tags! @niya500

[azonewithu]

Its too much. You americans try to hard but youre not hatd like me. Your boyfriends cant get it hard for as Long as i can. Nor do yhey have sny supernsturslnpower like i do. I devastaded the religios. And they deserve foul yreatment from God. They csn do nothing yo stop me theyre terrified of me i won this war a long long time ago. When i visited earthband masacred your so named gods. They were false gods who idolized evil. Thats all of them exceot me i just killed them all. And i miss a few of them Jenna but they had to go. They just cpuldnt stop arguing and fighting amongst themselves over nothing. Kind of like smericabs do with everyone today. Thetes nothing grest about your country these days no matter whet dome wvil fat talking head says to the caneraaks.hes a totsl fuckn ssshole fdespot loving goof. Your soldiers like chris kyle shivering in purgatory kyle awaiting sentence are fuck all in a fight. They cant fight thry cant even swim well from what i hear. Thry sink and drown. Ive challenged you rat seals to a duel. Your nahe is going fien who wilk duel? Whose a fool. Im gonna dump your veterans sould into the flames. When i do uour whole nation will burn until its gone. Do not fuck with me agsin you srupid ineot smericsns. Youre judged you are not good people. You fo npt know ehat good people even are. Im a bad ass Srch the deadliest so i know. Come on lil bsby sesl here biy cone get clubbed. I just told you wortjless rsts youte hated by God. I ordwred Chriss removal. He wsnted yo come up and tell God its ok yo shoot poor littke kids. Well he gound outbits not. A little ouss a little ggas sn smerucsn glag bunch if fags. One match. Goodbye americans we are not ftyienfs snymore. Fuck you uour nstion your oraident younoeople God and Jesus fucking hste you. Depise is a bettervword. Jenna your sdiers are eipeoutnpeasant killing demons. Your whole military now. We choose to fight you see your punk yellow asses on the battlefield. The isealis eont stop theyre said theyll stwrve yhe rntite population to death of gaza to death. If they have to nuke iran withput anyknes permission they will. Nobosy caresxehst an anericsn thinks. Why? Becausecyoute sll backstabbing mother fuckers yhatsxwhy. Youre only concerned eith money not life or Gid. To fucon hell with your people and your ounk ass YELLOW goof ridden nation. You csnt really show your faces many pkaces. I can go anywhere. Because ehen you lose rvery war you get involved no one fewrs younir tsjes you seriously. They intend to win. They jntend to ein they do to. Youre sll gonna lose. And om gonna laugh. And get it together with your movies hollywood and uour tv its really really bad latrly. Ads dont fuckn sasy je if course faggits iyn the movie i smdustry who ate greedy and move onky money ste gonna say its a goid mivue. None if yhem ste thet good not even oscar winners. If was in thet industry id rsie it taje away the money the. Tell it fuck off and go live a better REAL life. Lufe on film is not real. The peopleceho make the shit arent that great in any respect sll things tolled. Or very respected by real people. Fans atent people theyre desperate to fit in. Too desperate. Im a fsn but not that. Thsts pathetic to me. I to t need your fyckn autograph id never ask anyone. You should ask for mine in twrms of greatness Jenna i yhink you knpw thsts true. Abd that sll the lol smericsn boys ste like boo hoo. Thry know theyre fucked. People who ate fucked jnow it. Go make a tostitos or dkip your life vommercisl fucon dip shits. Your ad guys now not artists or actors. Fuck you i destoyed you. Im moore interesting im mlt a computer goof rech bug like you are. Theyll sell snything Jenna including their souls. Thats why they dont look handsome in real life like i do Jenna. Theyte not appealing like i sm when you get up vlise. And theyre slm ti y smurf people resl shoet. They wesr lift dhoes like you. Yeah but you lolk cute in them i like demure eomen you cannouck them right up upside down and…. Well you know. Dont emd up like those people. You know why admire and live Emma?

JENNA ORTEGA as RIDLEY KINTNER DEATH OF A UNICORN (2025) dir. Alex Scharfman

[gallavichthings]

Hello and welcome to Gallavich Week 2025!

This year we're back to one-word general prompts and I hope you're ready to get creative!

Gallavich Week 2025 will run 15-21 of June. As always, all kinds of work are welcome, as long as they are original. Please read the guidelines after the break before posting.

Day 1 (June 15) - Sports

Day 2 (June 16) - Lights

Day 3 (June 17) - Laughter

Day 4 (June 18) - Pain

Day 5 (June 19) - Riding

Day 6 (June 20) - Rainbow

Day 7 (June 21) - Free

CREATING AND POSTING GUIDELINES (After the break)

How do I participate?

You don’t have to subscribe to anything or announce what you’re doing, you just have to post your work on the appropriate day and tag me on the body of the post using @gallavichthings. It’s important that you tag me properly so that I can be sure to see your post and reblog it.

What types of works are accepted?

Any kind of original fan work is accepted, including but not limited to: fanart, fanfiction (no minimum words required), graphics, gifs and gifsets, videos, and fanmixes. Yes, meta and polls are also accepted (though I do request that you either try to keep them within the theme for each day or post them on the Free Day).

When can I start posting?

I’ll always make one initial post for each day, at 12am GMT. After that, post away!

Can I still participate even if I don’t have a Tumblr account?

Absolutely! Just submit something here (http://gallavichthings.tumblr.com/submit).

Can I post on other social media platforms?

You sure can, but I only have Twitter, which I don't check that often anymore, so I do encourage you to post here as well, so it can be seen by more people.

Is there an AO3 Collection?

Yes, right here. Participation is not mandatory though, and you can rest assured this Collection will not be deleted.

Can I post something that I’ve already posted before?

No, sorry. The works should have been created specifically for GW. You can, however, create a sequel or a different version of a previous work.

Can I post something that is not in English?

Of course. Just make sure that it is original, or that you have the original author’s permission (and, in that case, link to the original too).

Can I make R-rated works?

Yes, just please give any necessary warnings and tell us the rating at the very beginning of the post. If the post is visual (like a fanart or a gifset), it would be nice for you to also tag it accordingly - Tumblr now allowes you to select if a post is deemed for mature audiences or not. It’s not mandatory, but if possible put it under a Read More here on Tumblr and under a spoilers mark (so it’s not instantly visible) on Twitter.

Can I post something that’s AU?

Sure thing! Tag it accordingly though, both for those who want to avoid it and for those who’d like to find it.

Can I post supernatural works, mpreg, or genderbends?

Yes! But if it’s a fic, please include it in the warnings.

Can I post more than one work?

Definitely! The more, the merrier. You can post as many works as you want, on as many days as you want, be it one post per day or ten on the same day. Anything goes!

Can I post on more than one day? Do I have to make something for each day?

Again, the more, the merrier! You can post on only one or all days if you wish!

Can I make one work that fits two or more themes?

Sure thing. I only ask that you post it on the day of the last theme included. For example, if you are posting a work that includes the theme from Day 1 and the theme from Day 4, post it on day 4 (just make sure to tell me that it includes both).

Can I write a multi-chaptered fanfiction?

Yes, and you don’t have to post everything either. When you do, just be sure to include either a masterpost, or the links to the previous chapters in the beginning.

Can I include other characters/pairings in my work?

Yes, as long as Gallavich is still the focus.

What if I can’t finish on time?

The Gallavich fandom is ALWAYS happy to see new fan material, so just post it when you’re done and tag me, ok? The same goes for people who can’t finish a work on the assigned theme day; you can still post it on a different day during GW, just make it clear which day it was made for.

[paarksunghoon]

resignation (6)

SUMMARY: For the last six years, you’ve dedicated your career to ensuring Park Sunghoon never misses a day of work in his life. But you’re tired of endless days that seem to blend together, and seeing him living his fun, luxurious lifestyle makes you think about what else you might be missing out on. When Sunghoon finds your resignation letter on his desk, he does everything in his power to convince you to stay.

NOTES: life comes at ya fast…updates will come as I have more inspo and time to write. :) this is unedited

WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: cunnilingus, slight coercion (but is it really if she wants it?).

SERIES PLAYLIST + SERIES MASTERLIST

***

Midweek comes around slower than you’d like and it feels as though your days are dragging on the more you try to tie up loose ends and review resumes of potential candidates. 

Sunghoon has agreed to transfer some of the responsibilities onto the secretaries for the time being. They’ll be responsible for attending meetings in-office and other tasks that can be taken off of your plate as you focus on what’s at hand. 

“Are you any closer to finding me a new assistant?”

He asks this at least once every few hours. He’ll do it when he hears you typing away on your keyboard or when you’ve neglected to hear him call you from the door. Sunghoon says it with a smile that looks too playful for your liking. 

“Not any closer than I was since the last time you asked me.” 

“Shame. But perfection takes time, doesn't it?”

You roll your eyes. “Come in and close the door, will you? It’s hot as shit outside and you’re letting all of my cold air out.” 

“Maintenance is working on fixing the air conditioning in the main areas. My office isn’t as cold as yours, I’ll say that.”

“Maintenance likes me better.”

“Nuh uh.” 

You look up from your monitor. “What are you, a child?”

“Maybe.” You roll your eyes again and focus back on your work. “Any candidates I should know about?”

“Are you asking me because you’re interested or because you’re bored?”

“Is there any difference?”

“Yes. You either care about who’s going to take over my position once I’m gone, or you enjoy watching me suffer by being in my presence.” 

“The latter, actually. You’re cute when you’re angry at me.” You scowl at him. “See? Cute.” 

“I’m not cute.”

“You say that, and yet you are.” 

“You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re really cute, especially with my hand between your legs.” Your face grows hot and Sunghoon grins when he realizes he’s rendered you speechless. 

“If you aren’t going to be of any help, might as well go back to your office and do your job.” 

Sunghoon puts both hands up. “Alright, alright. I did come here with the intention of an update, though. Heeseung mentioned you’ve made some progress when I saw him earlier this morning.” 

“Some. I’ve been getting hundreds and hundreds of applications, and it’s getting hard to sift through all of them.”

“What kind of things are you looking for?” 

“Experience, mostly. Someone who meets half of these qualifications and won’t be an ass about it.”

“Got any contenders?” 

“I haven’t met with anyone yet, so I can’t be so sure right now. I’m in correspondence with some to meet at the office next week for an initial interview before I decide.”

“How many interviews?”

“Three. One introduction, a second so they can see the office, and a third with you.”

“With me?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, you. I need you to like your assistant.” 

“The way I like you?”

You near your throat. 

“I surely hope not.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that. I just need an assistant who can handle the job and not complain about it too much.” 

“That’s the goal.”

“Who are you meeting with next week?” 

“Cho Miyeon’s coming on Monday morning and Kang Taehyun will be coming the same afternoon.”

“Yang Jungwon on Tuesday too, huh?” Sunghoon peers over your shoulder and stares at your calendar. “You’ve got a busy week.”

“I’m doing my best. My workload is being shared while I look for my replacement, so it’s not too bad. Don’t get any ideas and add things on my docket, though.”

“Well…”

You sigh. “Sunghoon, please. I’m trying to be diligent and do right by you, but you’re making me want to quit on the spot.” 

“Hear me out at least, okay?” 

Sunghoon sits on the edge of your desk and sees the top button of your blouse unbuttoned. It’s not enough for him to see your bra underneath, but his mouth runs dry thinking about it. 

“It’s our turn to choose a restaurant for the next quarterly dinner party. As you know, it’s important because we as a company build internal connections and reward those who work under us with an all expenses paid meal.”

“Plus quarterly bonuses from the respective employers.”

He nods. “Yes, plus the bonuses. Anyway, I’ve booked a reservation at a highly rated Spanish place that serves tapas style for tonight. Cool, huh?” 

“You cannot seriously expect me to drop my plans to work.” 

“You don’t have plans.”

“Okay, fair point. But Pochi, Sunghoon. And I don’t want to work!”

“We won’t be out until late into the evening, if you’re worried about feeding her. We’ll leave the office early and I’ll have you home before nine. And you won’t be working. Not really.” 

“Asking me to try food for a work event is considered work.”

“Just come with me, okay? If you like it, we’ll host the party there. If not, we try another one on the list.”

“What list?”

Sunghoon merely smiles but he doesn’t explain further. “Don’t worry about it. Get yourself hungry and we’ll leave at five.”

“You, leaving work at five…”

“Early, I know.” Sunghoon laughs. “So what do you say?”

“I say you want me to ignore all of my tasks and distract me with food. Why can’t you go with another assistant who actually gives a shit about this party?”

“Because I care about your opinion, not theirs.” 

“I don’t have time to entertain this when it’s not on my immediate priority list. You can bring Jongseong to dinner, for all I care. He’ll appreciate that more than me.” 

Before you know it, he’s on the floor and turning your chair to face him. 

“Sunghoon!” 

He situates himself between your legs and spreads them apart by pushing your knees away. His fingertips gently touch your skin and inch up the skirt you’re wearing, pushing the fabric up your thigh. Your resolve seems to crumble when you see him like this and look around hastily. 

“W-What are you doing?” 

Sunghoon doesn’t speak. He looks at you and smiles like he knows something you don’t.

“My window is open,” you say in a haste, trying to push his hands away from your legs. 

Sunghoon merely laughs and leans down to press a kiss to the inside of your knee while maintaining eye contact. You sit frozen in your chair as you watch him stand, eyes trained on his semi-hard cock outlined in his trousers. He makes no fuss and faces the windows to close the blinds before turning back to look at you.

“Better?” 

All you can do is nod. Sunghoon drinks you in with his eyes. His gaze starts at the bottom of your heels until you feel his stare drag up your body, locked in on the flesh of your collarbones until his eyes meet yours. It’s hard to keep eye contact with him when he’s looking at you like that, never mind the fact that the outline of his dick is practically at eye level. 

He brings his hand to his mouth and rubs his jaw, huffing something you can’t quite make out. He then resumes his positions on his knees and this time, you don’t complain when Sunghoon pries your legs apart. 

“Can I try to convince you?” he asks in a sultry tone. His voice might as well be made of soft velvet and you find yourself nodding. “Yeah? Can I have my way with you right here?” 

Sunghoon has his answer when you widen your legs before him and parts his mouth like he’s in awe. He observed the way your skirt rides up your thighs even more, then shifts his gaze to your covered cunt. Sunghoon looks like he might as well be high; his gaze is hyper focused between your legs and his well you panties mold to the shape of your cunt. 

His bottom lip becomes wet with his saliva and you’re almost positive that Sunghoon would start drooling the longer he looks at you. His hands delicately hold your ankles in place when you brush your thumb against the corner of your mouth. 

“You’re drooling.” Sunghoon looks up at you.

“I can’t help it,” he says, kissing the pad of your thumb. “You’re so perfect down here.” 

Your cheeks flush for the umpteenth time. Sunghoon’s hands move from your ankles to gently caress the outer skin of your calves before he brings one hand to push your skirt until it sits just below your waist. You lift your hips to help him and settle back down in your chair at a steep slouch. 

Sunghoon holds you there and you feel as if you’re being presented on a platter. Still unused to being like this in front of him, you resist the urge to close your legs to prevent yourself from being even more flushed than you already are. He pushes his face between your legs and gives one, long kiss to your covered slit. 

“So perfect.” Sunghoon mumbles against you, and you suck in a quick breath. He sticks his tongue out to taste the wet slick soaking from the fabric. “That’s really good.” 

Never in a million years would you have ever guessed how good Sunghoon looks on his knees. He’s brash and confident, proud and stoic. The ease in which Sunghoon fell to his knees knowing he’d see what you hide between your legs makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. Sunghoon, who stands down for no one, kneels on his knees for you. 

He pulls your body down and brings his tongue all over your covered cunt. The surface of his tongue makes you clench against him and buck your hips. Sunghoon chases after it, pushing against you harder than merely grazing like he was previously. He licks a confident stripe and laps at your panties like a kitten drinking milk. 

His ginormous hands and caresses your outer thigh like he’s trying to make you relaxed and unashamed of the pleasure he wants to give you. You’re reminiscent of how you felt the morning Sunghoon’s hands were on you for the first time—nervous, excited, and extremely horny. 

When Sunghoon pulls your panties to the side to reveal your lap to him, he groans and his warm breath makes a shove run down your spine. He admires the way your pussy clenches in front of him and kisses your naked slit like he’s trying to reassure you.

“Relax, love. It’s just me.”

“Kind of hard to relax.” 

“Why?” Sunghoon kisses your slit once more and you sigh in contentment.

“I’m not used to people looking at me like this.” 

He looks up. “Get used to me between your legs.” 

When you deal with Sunghoon’s demands during working hours, you’re a force to be reckoned with. He’s stubborn and loves to fight back until you frustratingly give up or until you’ve backed him into a corner. You’re used to his hotheaded tendencies and never back down if you can help it.

But Sunghoon’s hands keep you locked before him so gently that it makes you think you’ve got nothing to worry about. His fingers caress your skin in a way that makes you tingle with excitement and lust, and it’s been a while since you’ve felt this way about anyone. 

He can feel your body respond to him when you loosen the tightness in your hips and let your legs fall beside him. Sunghoon’s mouth kisses your outer lips and avoids your clit, but the feeling is all the same when you haven’t been in this position in years. He takes his time, moving his plush and moistened lips across your skin like he’s mapping out every inch of you.

Sunghoon’s head moves to your inner thigh and his hair brushes your skin. His eyes remained closed as if to savor the taste of your body. You can’t seem to look at anything but him like you’re afraid he’ll disappear if you close your eyes and allow yourself to lose yourself in his touch.

Feeling so exposed is out of your comfort zone. You feel completely naked in front of him despite wearing a blouse and a skirt, technically. The sheer act of intimacy, even if Sunghoon walks away from you forever after he’s done kissing you between your legs, still feels like more than a mere hookup like your previous experiences. 

Sunghoon is still fully dressed and you wonder if he’s as hard as he was before kneeling. Your mind races when he switches legs and kisses all the way to the inner portion of your knee, dabbing gentle pecks that makes your heart race much faster than you would’ve ever anticipated. 

He must know by now you’re as inexperienced as a woman your age could be. It’s never for the lack of trying; men leave you disappointed and the pool of new lovers falls short when you aren’t the type of person to lose yourself in strangers who will never love you back. Sunghoon touches you like he’s more than somebody you’ve worked with for the last six years. It scares and excites you all at once. 

His breath ghosts over your cunt before he sticks his tongue out to lick a fat stripe. It feels like the entire surface of his tongue covers the entirety without a single inch being undiscovered by his mouth, and the sensation makes your toes curl in your heels. It’s enough to make your back arch slightly. Sunghoon watches you and puts both of his hands at the side of your hips to keep you steady before him. 

Sunghoon takes his time and doesn’t rush it like you think he will. He sounded so desperate to get you to agree to come with him to dinner tonight. You were sure he’d get on both hands and knees like a dog to beckon you to come. The sense of urgency seems to have been tossed out the window when he closed the blinds. Despite being in your office and hearing faint sounds of the copy printed from outside the doors, you feel like it’s just the two of you existing in the same space. 

His tongue moves up and down your slit slowly. Sunghoon’s eyelashes are long and dark, fluttering against his cheek with every pass. You wonder if this is what he looks like when you’re kissing him. It’s unfair how sexy he looks when his tongue is coated in your slick and when he’s sighing against your pussy like this is a meal that has finally satisfied his craving. 

“You’re so wet,” he murmurs against you the second he pushes his tongue past your folds. The vibrations continue to add to your pleasure and you buck your hips against his face. 

“S-Stop talking.”

He chuckles. “I think you like it when I talk to you like this.”

You shake your head stubbornly. Sunghoon hums like he doesn’t believe you. His fingers dig into your hips to pull you closer to his face instantly, latching onto your cunt with the urgency you anticipated beforehand. He shoves his tongue deep inside of you to the point where you grip the handles of your chair until your knuckles feel sore. Your palms have grown sweaty and you fear you’re losing your grip on both the chair and your sanity. 

He looks up at you before taking one hand and putting it in his hair. It’s like a foreign instinct takes over. Your hand grips his hair until you’re holding his head in place. His eyes flicker back to yours before focusing on lapping up your wetness, no doubt coating the lower half of his face in it. 

There’s no real method he’s adhering to. It’s messy and growing louder by the second with his saliva mixing in with your juices. Sunghoon slurps you up like he’s trying to taste all of you at once and flexes his jaw to accommodate shoving his tongue inside of your folds and thrusting. 

Your legs eventually wrap around his shoulders and Sunghoon can feel your heel digging into his suit jacket. He doesn’t mind. You’re sure this encourages him to fuck you like this harder because his tongue moves in circles inside of you when your thighs keep his head locked in place. His dark brown eyes open to look right at you and the moans you’ve been holding in escape. 

Sunghoon moans against you too. Your whimpers and short breath sent the blood straight to his cock, but he knows this isn’t the time nor the place to make you moan the way he wants you to. He’ll take what he can get, but that single, deep moan that came from his tongue bouncing over your clit makes him think it would be worth it for everybody to hear you come.

He looks so good with your thighs suffocating his face. Sunghoon doesn’t complain, he just puts his hands on your thighs and squeezes you to keep them there. Your hips start to chase his mouth when you feel your orgasm building and when Sunghoon sees your chest heaving off of the chair, he keeps his steady position and flicks his tongue across your swollen bud. 

You don’t even realize your hips are rolling against his mouth until you come against Sunghoon’s tongue. He doesn’t give you a second to breathe as he laps it up, opening his mouth as best as he can with your legs still wrapped around his face. He moans when he tastes all you have to offer and bucks his hips to grind against the tightness of his slacks when he sees your eyes wired shut and mouth gaping. 

The grip on his hair loosens when your body relaxes and so does the grip on your legs. Your breath feels much heavier than before and when you open your eyes, Sunghoon’s looking at you with a drunken smile on his face. Your cheeks instantly heat up and you try to pry your legs back down, but he keeps you steady there and moves his head to kiss you on each thigh.

“You look so pretty when you come.”

“S-Sunghoon…”

“Yeah, love?” 

You blush harder. “You’re just…” 

“I’m just what?” 

You avoid eye contact. “You looked really hot.” 

He laughs and you feel his eyes still staring at you. Sunghoon lets go of your legs and helps settle them back down on the ground before pushing your panties back in its proper place. He wipes his chin with the back of his hand and sits on the back of his knees to help you regain balance and sit upright in your chair as you fix your skirt in an attempt to look decent. 

“You did so well for me,” he says, pushing upwards to kiss you. Your taste lingers on his lips. Sunghoon braces himself on your thighs and his palms feel comforting. 

“I-I can’t believe I let you do that in my office.”

“Such a rebel, hm?” Sunghoon chuckles between kisses before pulling back to look at you. “Did that convince you to come with me tonight?” 

You nod shyly. “I don’t want you to think I’m the type of girl who can be bribed by sex, though.”

“I don’t think that of you. Matter of fact, I know I had you reeled in when I told you I’d take care of the details.” 

“Hmph.”

“I ate you out because I wanted to.”

Sunghoon kisses you again before standing up. The sheer size of it makes your mouth water and you see the small, wet stain left by his precum. He watches you with fascination and watches your hand reach out with hesitation, pulling back before you’ll do something you might regret. 

He doesn’t force you to touch him, nor does he ask you to do anything in return. You watch him with hooded eyes and the sight of you looking up at him while he stands will fuel his dreams for days to come. 

“You’re hard.” 

“That I am.”

“All that from eating me out?”

He laughs. “You underestimate how much I’m attracted to you.”

Your eyes flicker up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. So much that I ate your cute little pussy in your office.” 

You swat the side of his thigh and look away from him. “I…My pussy isn’t cute.”

“So cute and so tight. Felt it with my fingers and I felt it again with my tongue. Can’t help but wonder what it’ll feel like with my dick.” 

“Sunghoon!” 

“Too soon?” The blush on your face gives your desire away, but he laughs and backs off. 

“I have a pair of fresh slacks in my office. Let’s finish the rest of today and then we’ll head over for dinner, yeah?”

You raise your eyebrow. “You’re gonna walk out of my office while you’re hard?” 

“It’s like, two inches from yours.” 

“People could see.”

“Aw, are you worried about me?”

You huff. “Let people see how hard you get for me, for all I care.” 

Sunghoon smirks. “Atta girl. I think I just might.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Just how you like me to be.”

You don’t argue with him. You both know he’s right. He eventually makes his way to the front door and is about to leave before he comes back around your desk. Sunghoon takes you by surprise and leans down to kiss your lips once more before wordlessly exiting your office.

It takes a great deal of strength to stand up and open the blinds.

***

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[brittle-doughie]

So- hear me out..

In the beginning Pavlova Cookie lists out each one’s love story and what if he sees that y/n is deep in the pits of their crush for Hollyberry. Would the cookies of the garden try to get them closer together like having them drink together or have their warms baths next to each other to see if the love will blossom or crumble worse than a cookie chained to the bottom of the sea? (Could you add a good and bad ending to the little story too.. if it’s not too difficult of course)

~Cheers, Holly/Mystic Simp <3

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

“Ah, what a relief. Cookies with the deeper wounds being tended to first, good good….”

“Yeah, we got beat up pretty bad, but I think we’ll be okay…”

“Y/N Cookie!”

Hollyberry Cookie heads over to inspect over your person, sighing in relief when she sees that your wounds aren’t too severe. The contact of her hands touching you causes your heart to jump to your chest!

“H-Hollyberry Cookie?!”

“It’s good to see that you’re still in one piece! I knew those monsters wouldn’t be able to bring you down! Ha!”

“R-right! I’d never want to let you down by crumbling in a fight! You’ve taught me well to let those skills go to waste l!”

“Oh, Y/N Cookie. You could never let me down! It’s always a joy to fight alongside friends!”

“Yep! Got it! I’ll go inspect the others and see if they’re doing good.”

“Okay, but remember! We still need to get going when all of the Cookies have healed!”

“Of course!”

You headed away, but towards a pillar instead of your fellow Cookies. You hide behind it as you now do your best to calm your beating heart.

“Oooh! Do I sense a longing desire for love in YOUR heart?”

“Excuse me?”

Pavlova Cookie had appeared next to you suddenly behind the pillar!

“You have a crying heart, one that aches to be with its other half. Unknowing if that other half will even return your feelings! Ooh, the suspense!”

“You’re not able to read hearts! That was just you playing around!”

“Oh, but I can! You’re so badly in love that anyone can see it, except for your crush though!”

“I’m just…waiting for the right moment, you know?”

“Well, you’re not going to make any progress being all flustered here! How about I try to arrange you two together! See how it goes!”

“No way, I-wait, you’d do that for me?”

“All love needs to find their way, it just needs a little push!”

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

Pavlova tried all sorts of subtle tricks to try and nudge you and Hollyberry Cookie together, whether that be drinking juice as a pair or even having baths.

He waited behind any sort of cover to see if you or even Hollyberry would make the move. The two of you seemed to like each other’s company, you two shared smiles and laughs between you two. Pavlova was giddy as he held in a noise of excitement, he was about to see love blossom before his very eyes!

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

It all came down to sitting under the tree, having just gone over one of the many adventures that you and her shared that left Hollyberry Cookie smiling from the thought of it.

“I still can’t believe you did such a crazy thing!”

“Hey! It was either the dragon or me, and it sure wasn’t going to be me no matter how ridiculous it was!”

“You were lucky I had your back there! You could’ve been dragon food!”

“Just part of the job description, my queen.”

“No….that’s not what I want you to do, don’t get yourself crumbled over me.”

“You just mean a lot to me, Hollyberry Cookie. I only wish to make sure you don’t have to get yourself hurt over me.”

“That’s why you should let me protect you! I can handle myself fine! It’s you who isn’t as durable!”

“Please, I’m just another soldier amongst the others!”

“….Not to me.”

That strikes a cord in your heart.

“Hollyberry Cookie….”

“Yes?”

“Do you….?”

“I do care a lot about you and would not like it for you to hurt yourself for me.”

“I know that. But..is that care to the extent of my own?”

“To what extent?”

“Hollyberry Cookie…”

You subtly look around you and you spot Pavlova Cookie hiding far back, excited to see a moment of possible romance blooming! You take a breath and look at Hollyberry Cookie, determined.

“I love you….”

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

[She Loves Me]

“W-what did you say?!”

“I love you, Hollyberry Cookie! I had for the longest time and I couldn’t hold it in for any longer!”

Hollyberry was taken aback! She wasn’t expecting such a bold confession to her, it lifted her speechless!

“I…don’t know what to say…!”

“If that’s a no, I understand-“

“NO! I’m not saying no! Give me a moment!”

You step back and allow Hollyberry to collect herself.

“If you had warned me before pulling that, I would’ve answered with my own yes sooner!”

“You mean?!”

“That’s right! Come here, my dear Cookie!”

You two meet in a hug as you shared teary laughter with Hollyberry as she spins you around together with her under the tree.

Pavlova Cookie was trying his best to muffle his squealing at the sight of blossomed love.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

[She Loves Me Not]

“Oh….”

“Huh?”

“I…love you too. As much as I love all my Cookies! I do not love anyone any more or less than the other!”

“Right! Right….I understand.”

You did understand, but boy, did your heart just shrivel up and die then and there…

Pavlova Cookie froze up, he did not expect that conclusion!

“Y/N Cookie….”

“I’m sorry, I just…need time to process this! I’m sorry!”

“Y/N Cookie! Wait! Come back!”

You ran off as Hollyberry tried to reach out for you, but you were too fast in running away!

Your emotions were in control now as you kept running and into the hedge maze, just trying to find some quiet spot to let out your sorrows.

You picked a little spot with a pillar that you leaned back on, hands in your face as you control your tears.

“Stupid, so stupid! Why did I even say that?! Now what’s she going to think?! Can I even face her again?!”

All this overthinking only made you more upset as you kept yourself together….

“I sensed your broken heart, my love…”

“W-who…?”

“Why, it’s me. The Bringer of Happiness!”

You looked up from your hands to see Eternal Sugar Cookie, her face holding much sympathy as she floated down and kneeling next to you.

“If you need someone right now, I am here for you…”

“No, please…”

“Don’t push me away…it’s okay to let out your feelings to me…I am not going anywhere…”

She even took the first step by scooting close and spreading her wings out to shield you from the world. You gave in and held her close as you wept, Eternal Sugar reciprocating as she brushed your icing hair.

“I’m always here for you….”

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

[justmeinadaze]

Curiosity (Part 5)(Eddie X Plus Size Y/N)

Warnings: Younger (Early 20s) Daddy Eddie & Older (early 30s) Plus Size Sub Fem Y/N, SMUT, light dirty talk, light spanking, etc.

ANGST *lays in a bed of angst with a cat named angst who does angsty things*

Consequences of last chapter rear their head here. Reader makes a friend and Eddie gets jealous, Y/N perceives things online and becomes jelly as well. Y/N runs into Steve at a bar dealing with a bad abusive date, both get hurt but Daddy comes to the rescue (so slight domestic abuse trigger) , Eddie mentions his abusive upbringing (brief near the end), slight cliffhanger ending (I've done worse). I think that's it.

Word Count: 5610

Series here/Donate to Me <3

“Hey, pretty girl. How did you sleep?”, Eddie asked from his chair at his desk when he heard you groan awake. 

“Good. How about you? How long have you been up?” 

“Not long, sweetheart.”, he murmurs with that morning husk that makes you swoon. “Can you come sit by me for a moment? I want to show you something.”

Softly smiling, you shuffle your feet over to the chair beside him and place your legs over his. While you were still in your panties and a t-shirt, he had pulled on a pair of shorts and loose tank top that showed off all his delicious muscles that made you want to run your hands along his skin. 

“So, I know I’ve told you before that people can schedule sessions with me on this website but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that I can schedule some to.”

“I don’t think so, baby, but I imagine you don’t schedule many.”

Eddie chuckles a bit as he nods. 

“Yeah, you’re right. I actually think I’ve only ever done it a handful of times but I’ve done it most with Mill. Like I told you, ya know, I really enjoy talking to her and she’s incredibly kind.” The metalhead pauses as his eyes shift towards you. “I know she would never do anything to intentionally hurt me and I’m sure that she’s always been honest with me. In this town, it’s not something I’m used to.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat you softly smile and caress his cheek with your finger.

“Steve mentioned something that I hadn’t noticed but now they kind of stand out to me that I can’t get out of my head. You both use the same phrases, same style of speech… Her name is CurvyCorporateMillennial and you ARE a curvy corporate millennial…”

“I mean…a lot of millennials…are in corporate and—and a lot of us talk the same…” His chocolate eyes flashed through so many different emotions before landing on one you recognized; anger. “Eddie—”

“No, no, Y/N. You are absolutely right. Since you two have so much in common I’ve been dying for you two to meet. I logged in and set up a time; I just have to approve it. Now, whenever I approve it, it sends a notification to the persons phone pretty quickly.” 

As soon as his finger clicks the mouse, a few seconds pass and out of the corner of your eye you see your phone on the night stand light up with a soft and subtle ding.

“You know what, I don’t want to miss her. Let me schedule a few of these and of course I can cancel them later.”

Five more clicks, five more dings. 

“You should get that. May be important.”

“Eddie, I—”

“Get. Your. Phone.”, he growls. Your head hangs as you rise to your feet and do what he says. “Show it to me.”

Your thumb shakes as the tears began to fall and you unlock your phone to show him your screen. The image of him hugging you from behind as he kisses your cheek greets him…along with six notifications for an OnlyFans session with EddietheBanished.

“Jesus, I’m so stupid.”

“No! No, Eddie, I swear I wasn’t…I was borrowing my roommate’s laptop and-and-and your profile came up. I got curious so I created a profile just to see what you did and then…I told myself I would never go on their again but then you messaged me and we talked—”

“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?!”

“I tried! I was going to tell you after your concert but then you made a move and we—”

“I see, so this is my fault?”

“No!”

“So you didn’t come that night to see me play even though I had been inviting you for months. You came to tell me that you were catfishing me while you watched me jerk off…Wait a minute. That’s how you knew about the Daddy thing, isn’t it?”

“Yes but—”

“Fuck me…”, he sighs as he stands and you hastily follow.

“I called you Daddy that night because it felt right. I made love to you because I liked you. I’m with you now because I like you.”

“Why keep pretending then?! So that you can manipulate me?! I told Mill reasons why I was angry with you and she guided me. It was just you fucking with me!”

“No, Eddie, I swear that was never my intention! I should have told you sooner but I was so scared of losing you and it just got so hard to say anything the longer it went on.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t change the fact that you should have told me. I feel…I feel like our entire relationship was a lie.”

Your heart shatters as you slowly backed away from him and your emotional wall flew up. 

“Was? Are…are we still not in one?”

The metalhead’s eyebrows furrowed at the crack in your tone as he pushed down the notion to collect you in his arms and hold you to his chest to comfort you. 

“I don’t know, Y/N. I always thought you were the perfect girl for me. Everything about you fit to me like a glove and I asked myself constantly what an angel like you is doing with an idiot like me. I guess I know now, huh?”

“Eddie…”

“I think…I think maybe we should take a break.”

Nodding, you collected your clothes and quickly put them on before scurrying as fast as you could out the front door. 

###################

You told yourself constantly with every year that passed you were saving your vacation time for when you desperately needed it. You knew there would be a day where you needed an escape; where on a pain scale, life hit you with a 10 and you would need that time away. 

This was your 10. 

You spent 2 weeks at home, sobbing as you processed everything that happened. You went through his socials but that was pointless because he rarely posted in general but you were able to snag a few crumbs when his friends tagged him in things. 

One night he went to a party at a friend’s house and his name attached to a photo of him chugging back liquid in a red cup. Another had you fuming when some girl close to his own age had her hand on his thigh while he laid his head on her shoulder. 

You wished you could do something to make him equally as jealous as the feeling of shame washed over you. He had every reason to be upset with you; you had lied to him but that didn’t change the fact that it hurt you watching him let loose while you were in your apartment falling apart. 

What surprised you the most was the headspace. 

The little girl headspace within kept kicking at your brain, desperate for her Daddy to come hold her in his arms and make her feel better especially at night when everything was quiet.

That first Monday back, you decided you were going to walk into your building with your head held high, refusing to give him the satisfaction of breaking your heart. Armed with a new pink blouse and lethal hairdo, you sauntered up to the double doors, ready to start over and face the day. 

“Fuck! I’m so sorry!”, a soft voice exclaims after bumping into you a bit roughly. 

“It’s ok. No harm done.”

The shoes in front of you seemed expensive with their sleek black shine but as your eyes continued to travel upwards, you realized he was anything but with slacks that seemed a bit too big for him and a shirt that was tucked into his belt a bit haphazardly. When your eyes found his, the man in front of you sighed in what sounded like relief as he reached out to shake your hand. 

“Hey. I’m, um, Ren. R-E-N like in Footloose.”

“I love that movie.”

“Yeah, so did my dad. Unfortunately, I didn’t get Keven Bacon’s moves but…” As he chuckles, you smile as you take in his handsome face and beautiful green eyes. He had to be about your age if not a little bit younger. “What about you? What’s, uh, what’s your name?”

“Y/N. Sorry, my name is Y/N. I was just on, um, on vacation so my brain is still catching up.”

“I understand. This is my first day here so I’m not as smooth as I normally am.”

“Why do I doubt that?”, you grin making his smile widen. 

“Maybe, you can show me around later and I can prove myself.”

“So are we all just hoping the elevator psychically knows to come down?”, a firm tone grunts in frustration before stomping forward to push the up button allowing you to come face to face with Eddie. 

Even with his hair pulled back you could tell it was a mess with the frizz struggling to be tamed. Utilizing every loophole in the handbook, he would normally at least show up in some nice jeans and a button up shirt but today his pants were torn at the knee while the polo shirt he had one was chaotically hanging off parts his waist. His eyes once full of life and a gentleness were now hollow as if he hadn’t slept in days. 

Silently, you all entered the elevator with you between these two men but your heart pulled towards one more than the other as you had to use all your energy to not loop your hand through the metalhead’s. 

“It was nice to meet you, Y/N, and again I’m sorry for bumping into you.”, he grins as you three step off on the same floor.

“No worries.”

Stalking towards his desk, Eddie slams everything down making the people around him including you, jump. 

“Edward Munson!”

“Angela.”

Your manager slid back in her chair at his gruff tone as you both visually took him in. 

“Everything alright, Eddie?”

“Everything’s fine.”, he grumbled before flopping down in his chair. 

Quietly, you do the same as your head hangs. 

“Do you want me to move somewhere else?”, you whisper as your bottom lip trembles. 

“No. Just don’t fucking talk to me.”

Nodding, you hug your arms around yourself as you set up your computer but you were unable to make it long before you hastily got up and disappeared into an empty office. The door suddenly opened startling you but as you tried to quickly dry your eyes, arms circled around you and pulled you into a broad chest that was laced with an overpowering smell of cigarettes. 

“It’s ok…everything’s ok…”, Eddie cooed as his large palm pet the back of your head. “I’m sorry I snapped at you… This has been incredibly hard for me. I…I miss you so much, Y/N.”

“I miss you to. C-Can we talk? After work maybe?”

The man sighs as he lets you go and lightly pushes you away. 

“I, um, I don’t think I’m ready for that right now. You really hurt me. Add into the fact that you’ve been on vacation for 2 weeks doing God knows what—”

“Excuse me? You think after what happened, I took two weeks off to ‘relax’?”, you scoff. “Jesus, you must think so little of me especially after you’re the one that’s been partying with girls on his lap!”

Chocolate eyes glare your way before a big sarcastic smirk paints his lips. 

“I see someone’s been stalking my social media. Not uncommon for you, is it, little girl? Hiding in the shadows as you watch me. Well, now you have no reason to be fucking jealous since you have that new blond asshole you were flirting with in the elevator.”

“I wasn’t flirting.”

“Oh, please! If I wasn’t there you’d probably fuck him against the wall.”

“Sure, why not?! I can finally fuck a real man then some pathetic little boy like you!” You blink as your jaw drops, surprising even yourself at your own words. “E-Eddie…I’m sorry…I didn’t—”

Backing slowly away from you, the metalhead throws you a sarcastic smirk before opening the door to leave and slamming it behind him. 

#################

Work had become more excruciating and long since you didn’t have Eddie to talk to. While he sat beside you, he kept his headphones on with music blaring as he scribbled things down in his notebook until he got a call.

Ren was indeed a new hire at your company and he had begun filling the silence during your lunches, talking to you about everything you both could think of. He genuinely was a sweet man and you enjoyed having conversations with him but he never gave you those warm feelings the metalhead gave you. 

“No but that early 2000s music was always a bop.”, he laughs as he continues to walk you to your car after work. 

“A bop?”, you giggle.

“Yeah, I mean, isn’t that what the kids are saying?”

“No, Ren, I don’t think the kids are saying bop.”

“Well shit. I guess I’m not cool anymore.”

“That implies you were ever cool in the first place.”, you tease as you dig into your purse for your keys. 

“Oooo she’s sassy. I like that.” As you laugh harder, the man in front of you cranes his neck to softly kiss your lips. “I, um, I like you to.” You swallow as your breathing stutters and you place a hand on his chest to lightly push him back. “I’m sorry…was that too forward?”

“Um…a little…I just…I just got out of a…or we’re on a break…I don’t know…”

“Must still be raw if you’re about to cry, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. You don’t talk about…which would make sense. Fuck, I’m an idiot.”, Ren scolds himself making you spit out a laugh through the pain as you wipe the tear that had fallen. 

“I don’t mean to laugh, you’re just really sweet.”

The sound of a car door cracking shut had you both jumping back but only you noticed whose van it belonged to as it sped out of the parking lot. 

***

“Y/N, sweetie, come on. Everything will be alright.”, you roommate tries to console at the bar you both were spending time in. 

Kelsey had seen you slowly falling apart, suggesting a girl’s night out and after a lot of playfully teasing you finally relented. 

“I miss him, Kels. Eddie has every right to be angry with me but I don’t know what to do to make things right. If anything, I’m making things worse by defensively belittling him and kissing some guy in the parking lot we both work at.”

“I thought you said that Ren guy kissed you.”

“He did but…”

“Baby, maybe he just needs some time, ya know? Whenever he’s ready he’ll reach out. You two were perfect together and there’s no way he can just let you go.”

Smiling, you give her a big hug, looping your arm through hers as you walk with her to the bathroom. There was a wall separating entrances between the men and women restrooms but even from the other side and over the music you could still hear someone yelling loudly.

“Do you think I’m that fucking stupid?! I just watched you grind against some girl out on the dance floor!!”

“Honey, we were just dancing while I was waiting for you. It meant nothing—”

You heard a loud thud and rounded the area to see a tall, muscular man pushing Steve against the wall with his hand on his chest keeping him in place as he pointed his fat finger in the boy’s face. 

“I told you to wait for me outside.”, he seethed through gritted teeth. “You don’t fucking listen.”

Your heart broke as Eddie’s friend folded into himself and his eyes glazed over. 

He felt unsafe.

“Hey. I said hey!”, you screamed stepping towards them. “Get your hands off him!”

“Stay out of this, little girl. It doesn’t concern you.”

“It does when you put your hands on my friend. Now I’ll only say it one more time, get away from him.”

The man chuckled sinisterly as he turned away from the boy in front of him to focus on you. 

“Or what, huh? What’s a little whore like you going to do about it?” When all you do is glare up at him, he laughs a bit harder. “Didn’t think so. Mind your fucking business or I swear to God I will put you back in your goddamn place.”

Without fully thinking it through you grabbed the nearest bottle and smashed it over his head causing him to howl in pain before falling blinding against the doorway. Reaching for Steve’s hand, he takes it without question but unfortunately you both are stopped when he catches the boy’s wrist and throws him behind him. 

An open palm smacks your face and you stumble to the dirty floor as you hear the other boy shout your name. He grunts as Steve tries to fight this much bigger man but it’s no use as he’s punched hard in the mouth and collapses in front of you. 

Boots rush past you both and the sound of heels soon follow. 

“Y/N, oh my God! Are you alright?!”, Kelsey asks as she lifts you into a sitting position. 

“Yeah…I’m…Steve?” Hearing blood spit to the floor, you turn to find the man himself trying to stand. “Are you ok?”

“Help me up, please.”, he murmurs sullenly and you both do what he asks. 

Your head turns every which way trying to find your assailant before being met with the back of long hair and shoulders under leather jacket as the metalhead continuously pulls his fist back to punch the man underneath him. 

Cautiously, your palm reaches out to touch his shoulder causing his bloody fist to hover in the air. 

“Come on, Eddie.”, you whisper, your eyes closing as he punches him again. “Steve needs you.” Another punch. “I need you.” 

Clutching his collar in one hand and a broken beer bottle with the other, he held the glass to the man’s throat as he growled deeply, “If ever come near Steve again or I see your fucking face, I will kill you. Do you understand me?”

“Y-Yeah, man.”, the guy mumbled. 

Rising to his feet, he takes yours and his best friend’s hand to guide you out into the parking lot towards his van. 

###################

You tenderly ran your nails through Steve’s hair as his head rested on your shoulder while the two of you waited on Eddie’s couch. After telling Kelsey you were alright and it was ok for her to go home, you placed yourself beside him and he didn’t hesitate to curl up against you the whole ride home.

“Thank you for trying to protect me.”

“Don’t mention it.”, the pretty boy gravelly replies as his voice cracks. “Thank you for trying to protect ME.”

Silently, the metalhead stalked back into his living room and the chain on his pants clanked against the hard wood of the coffee table as he took a seat on it in front of you both with a first aid kit in his grasp. 

When he placed the cotton ball of antiseptic on the cut on his lip, Steve winced causing Eddie to freeze for a moment before moving forward once again. 

“What…were you…doing there?”, Steve asked as the long-haired boy’s eyes narrow with focus.

“You said he was three hours late. I wanted to make sure you were ok.” 

Steve nodded as his gaze shifted into the void and another tear fell down his cheek. 

“I don’t deserve you, man.”

“Yes, you do.”, you coo as you try to move some of his hair away from his face. “You deserve to be loved and respected.”

He broke then; allowing himself to fully let go as you held him to your chest. When he fell asleep on your lap, Eddie readjusted him so you could slide out and replace your thighs with a pillow under his head while the other boy covered him with a blanket. 

After leading you to his bedroom, he closed the door and followed you with his eyes as you took a seat in his desk chair. A small smirk painted your features when you felt ringed fingers brush against your arm as he took hold of the armrest and wheeled you over his mattress where he took a seat in front of you. 

Reaching back into his kit, he took something in his hand and after a satisfying crack, shook it with an obnoxious amount of force that had you giggling as he softly smiled.

“Ah fuck, that’s cold.”, you gasp when he places what you now realize to be an ice pack on your cheek. 

“Yeah, sweetheart, that’s the idea.”

Your fingers reach out to lightly push his shoulder but as you pull your arm back, he catches your wrist and wheels you closer to his chest as he places his lips on yours. 

“I probably would have killed that guy if you hadn’t stopped me.”, he whispered, his forehead pressed to your own. “Thank you for trying to protect him.”

“Of course. No one deserves to be treated like that.”, you murmur and Eddie nods. “I saw him shrink…in his eyes…he was so scared—” The metalhead’s jaw clenched as he heavily exhaled through his nose in anger. “Baby—”

“I can’t. I can’t do that, Y/N. I’m too… just no.”

“Too what, Eddie? Tell me.” He rises to his feet and you do that same trying to block his path. “You can be mad at me…you SHOULD be mad at me. I deserve it. I…I never meant for it to go this far and I swear, baby, every part of our relationship was real. I kissed you at the bar because I liked you. I made love to you because I liked you. I called you Daddy because it felt right—”

“And Ren? Does it feel right calling him Daddy?” You blink in surprise at his comment. “God, I wanted to hit that fucker when I saw him kiss you but I guess you got your wish. A real man your own age who’s going to fuck you better than me.”

“Eddie…I didn’t…I only said that because you hurt my feelings—”

“Oh? Forgive me. I thought after my girlfriend pretended to be another woman online to spy on me, I would be allowed to be angry and say some shit. Especially after you disappeared for 2 weeks doing—”

“NOTHING! I swear, Eddie, and I’ve never done anything Ren. He kissed me and I pushed him away.”

“Do you have any idea what that was like for me? I always feel like some man who’s better for you will come along and whisk you away and of course after all this bullshit, here comes the ‘perfect’ man—”

“You’re one to talk! You had some…skinny, young girl in your lap with your friends…how do you think that made me feel?!”

“Bad I hope. ‘Bout as bad as I felt when I found out you fucking lied to me!”

“Jesus, Eddie, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m SORRY! What do I have to do?! Get on my knees and beg for forgiveness?! I will if you want me to. I’ll do whatever you want but if you don’t care about me anymore then you need to stay away from me because it hurts!”, you shout as you fold your arms. “I miss talking to you and hearing you laugh. I miss watching you focus as you play your guitar at the edge of the bed. I miss feeling your fingers brush through my hair while I sleep and the way your lips kiss me in the morning.

I miss your passion when you talk about anything but especially your game that I still don’t understand but I’m trying to. More than anything I miss feeling safe… every time you hugged me I knew nothing could hurt me. That’s why it fucking kills me that I hurt you. Those two weeks I was off, I didn’t do anything, Eddie because I was breaking in my apartment. I was being a coward…because I was too afraid…to face what I had done and how it affected you…To see how much I had hurt…the man I love.”

His palm shot out to grab your cheek and bring your lips to his as his other hand pulled you closer pressing to the small of your back. 

All rational and reason left the room as he spun you around and guided you to his bed with him falling on top of you. Your mouths barely detach except for the occasional breath but you don’t care. It was like you were both giving each other the oxygen you needed and he hummed occasionally into each kiss causing a little moan to leave your chest.

Reaching over his shoulder, Eddie struggled to take off his shirt, grunting in frustration till you helped him and he did the same for you. As soon as your skirt was freed from your hips and your panties were on the floor, he didn’t waste a moment, diving between your legs as his wide flat tongue licked between your folds to your clit and repeating the process at a vigorous pace.

“Fuck, Daddy.”

Without pulling away, you heard the loud clinking of his belt as he struggled to pull down his pants and free his cock from his denim confinement. Finally tilting back, your body shuttered with pleasure as he spit directly into your pussy lips before taking a hold of you and spinning you till you were straddling him.

Your brain hesitated slightly with this being your first time on top but when you realized all of your weight was on your knees against the mattress, you breathed a sigh of relief. With one hand gripping the back of your neck, he utilized the other to guide himself inside you and you welcomed the stretch as he thrust his hips roughly against yours. 

You could feel his jaw open against your cheek as his breath warmed your skin with every pant and his arms held you tightly to his chest.

“L-Lay flat, Y/N.”, he breathed but when you don’t respond or do what he said, his large palm spanked your behind causing your head to lift so your nose was touching the tip of his. “Lay your body flat against me.”

“B-But…but I’m—”

As you protest, he spanks you again. 

“I—fuck—Daddy needs to feel your body, baby.”

Nodding, you kiss his lips before fully collapsing against him as his arms wrap tighter around you and his fingers tangle in your hair. He slowed his pace but not his intensity as Eddie slammed his dick so deep inside you, he had you seeing stars.

You head fell beside his as your nose inhaled his smell that you missed and your lips gently kissed his neck making him mewl as he found his rhythm once more. 

“Just like that, Daddy, fuck.”

As the coil in your belly snapped, Eddie soon followed, pumping his release deep within your walls. 

You laid like that for a while before you rolled to the side but he didn’t allow you to go far, circling his arm around your hip and bringing you back to his chest. 

“I don’t want to let you go…because when I do…reality will set in and I’ll remember how upset I am with you.”

Tears stung your eyes as you intertwined your fingers with his and kissed the back of his hand. 

“I understand…”

“I wish I could talk to her…Mill…ask her for advice.”

“You can always talk to her…if that’s easier for you…she still has an account. I…she kept it just in case you—you wanted proof she wasn’t talking to or paying to see anyone else.” Your voice cracks and he tenderly reaches over to caress your cheek. “I love you so much, Eddie, and I’m so sorry for lying and hurting you.”

Nuzzling his nose into your hair, he squeezes you closer to him as you cry.

##############

Two Days Later

Your private session with Eddiethebanished begins now! Don’t miss it!

“Hey Mill…”

“Hey Eddie.”, you type while you visually take in his haggard appearance as he brings a lit cigarette to his lips. “This is probably a dumb question but how are you doing?”

The metalhead chuckles, coughing slightly as smoke fills the air. 

“I’ve been better, sweetheart.”

“How can I help?”

“Well, first and foremost, my best friend is living with me now. He was dating another fuckhead who put his hands on him so I suggested he move in so I can keep an eye on him. I have a spare bedroom that just has junk in it so soon we’ll get his bed and stuff to put in there.”

“That’s good. I think not only will he physically feel safer but mentally and emotionally as well. You’re a good friend to him.”

“Did you defend him? Is that why your knuckles look like that?”

At your question, he glances down at the bruising on his right hand before taking another puff from his cigarette. 

“Yeah. Steve had texted me saying his date was late and I just…I got this feeling…plus I thought I could keep him company, you know? So I drove down to the bar he was at and when I got there…Steve and Y/N were on the floor…this asshole…”

“He hurt them.”

Eddie nods as his eyes glare off into the void past his monitor. 

“Mill, have I ever told you about my father?”

“You told me he was in prison and that he wasn’t a good person.”

“Yeah…he used to be like that asshole at the bar… I, um, I don’t really talk about my life too much because my childhood wasn’t great. My dad was abusive as hell…to me and my mother. When she passed away…” He shakes his head as he puts out the stick between his fingers before lighting another. “Oddly enough, when I think about that time in my life, what makes me the most angry…is the lying. Mill, my dad could spin a story, I’m telling you. 

He knew how to con people and get right to their emotions before taking them for everything they got. Did the same with my mom even when she got sick and did the same with me multiple times before he was arrested. Every time he tricked me into helping him do something illegal or had me lie for him, I felt…I felt stupid.

I told myself I would never allow myself to end up in situations like that again.”

A tear leaves your eye that you quickly wipe away as he continues. 

“Y/N and I got into a fight. I found out that she was lying to me about something and… Look I know she’s not perfect, lord knows I’m not either, but this…this was pretty big and now I can’t help but constantly wonder what in our relationship was even real or based on what she found out through this lie.”

“I can understand that. I bet she feels pretty stupid herself for hurting you.”

“Eddie, you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met and you showed me things I never…never would have even had the courage to try or experience. For her, it’s most likely the same. She wanted to know more about you and loved the way you made her feel but was terrified of losing or hurting you.”

“So she kept hiding the truth hoping it would just go away. That was selfish on her part…she definitely should have been honest with you but I guarantee you every part of her relationship with you was real and she loves you. She would never lie about that.”

His chocolate eyes take in your words as his jaw tightens and he struggles not to break. 

“She hasn’t been at work these last couple of days. I thought…maybe I scared her off…”

Clicking all the buttons on the computer, your profile picture suddenly changes to show you sitting in a room that Eddie doesn’t recognize. 

“You didn’t scare me.”, you murmur softly. “I had an emergency so I had to fly home.”

“Is everything alright?”, he asks, his tone full of care and concern.

“Yeah, um, it is now. My parents got into a car accident and my dad was in the hospital. He’s fine but they just wanted to keep him over night to keep an eye on him.”

You watch as his eyes glance towards where his second monitor usually is and his fingers click his mouse. 

“There’s a flight leaving Hawkins in a couple of hours. That will give me enough time to talk to Angela and get to the airport—”

“Eddie, baby, it’s ok. I’ll be back in a few days.”

“Y/N, your parents were hurt and you’re in a city where you said people bullied you. I’m not leaving the woman I love up there to handle all that bullshit alone.”

Both of you pause at his words as he heavily exhales and you nod as your chest heaves. 

“Hey…look at me. I do…I love you so fucking much but…we still have a lot to talk about.”

“Ok, yeah…that makes sense. Um, I…I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, baby girl. I’m on my way.”

################

@debkk16 @myherometalhead @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @twirls827 @micheledawn1975 @chelebelletx @hardladyheart @spiderxbatty @twirls827 @daveythorntonslocker @eddies-dungeon-and-dragon @mrsjellymunson @utterlyinsanity @daveythorntonslocker @jeangeniex @seedlingghost @joemamahehepoopoo @veemoon @mrsjellymunson

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! I recently saw this post (https://www.tumblr.com/special-mooon/782098191450619904/someone-noticed-this-about-riddle?source=share) where someone pointed out that in Riddle's dream in Book 7, many of his sprite's gestures are done with his left hand rather than his right. The user in the post theorised that perhaps he was originally left-handed but conditioned to use his right (Or maybe he's ambidexterous? But wouldn't his character profile say that then?)

Just wondered what your thoughts on this were

I guess I have an extensive list of Mrs. Rosehearts abuse allegation posts now... 🙂‍��️

[ Why doesn’t Riddle resent his mom? / Why Riddle expresses gratitude for his mom / Physical abuse? (pt I) / Physical abuse? (pt II) / Nutrition and Height / Calorie Counting? ]

Ooh, this post! I saw it circulating in the JP fandom but hadn't realized it had gone viral (the original tweet currently sits at 1.1 million views) and also gained exposure in the English-speaking side of the Twst fandom. I didn't think to really comment on it at the time, but I can definitely share my thoughts now.

So firstly, I definitely commend OP for noticing this detail. It's such a small thing that could have very easily gone under the radar. Their take is also definitely really creative; I don't think I would have made that connection myself.

I do believe that Mrs. Rosehearts is a stern an uncompromising woman, so she would take whatever measures she deems "necessary" to correct something she views as "wrong". She's also unbending and unwilling to negotiate or accommodate for deviations of her own vision. That being said, I do not think she "corrected" Riddle's handedness or forced him to change his dominant hand.

Taking a look at the two designs, I think they're meant to literally "mirror" each other, and that is reflected in the hand poses as well. The two outfits have many visually similar elements, such as the ruffled collar and the colors, but they are opposite of each other as well. Dorm Uniform Riddle has his collar done properly, but dream!Riddle has it open. Dorm Uniform Riddle lacks accessories, but dream!Riddle went wild with them. Dorm Uniform Riddle has gloves, dream!Riddle is bare-handed. Dorm Uniform Riddle's main color is white, but dream!Riddle's main color is black. Even their headwear is tilted to the opposite sides.

This could be intentional imagery or symbolism of Riddle going down a completely different path, were he to take the other extreme in his life (complete freedom, being allowed to have a childhood, etc.). This means even his small habits--like the hand gestures--might be affected. Twst often utilizes a character's fashion and posing to imply things about their character, and I think that's also being utilized here to parallel the opposite lives of Riddle Rosehearts.

If we take a look at Riddle's official profile, his dominant hand is stated to be the "right" hand, not "left" or "ambidextrous" (which we know is possible because Crewel's official profile states he is ambidextrous).

The profiles should state what is objectively true information, right...? So if Riddle could also write with his right hand, he should technically be "ambidextrous" here.

Let's look at Epel as an example. His favorite food is listed as "grilled meats" (sometimes called barbeque in the English text, but called yakiniku in the Japanese text). However, "macarons" are also listed.

Twst seems to imply that grilled meat/yakiniku IS Epel's favorite food, but he is told by Vil to claim macarons are his favorite, as they are a food better fitting the noble image of Pomefiore's Fairest Queen.

In both Tapis Rouge and Glorious Masquerade, it is mentioned that Epel thinks macarons taste good, but they are not very filling.

In both of these instances, Vil and Epel assert that Epel likes macarons to keep up the farce, especially when Ace and Azul begin to question the accuracy of the statement.

In his Birthday Boy vignettes, Epel enthusiastically talks about barbeque but is much more reserved (like he is in his fake "dainty" persona Vil pushes him to adopt) and tepid when discussing macarons and why he likes them. In Ace's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Epel claims macarons are his favorite food, but stutters as he says it. He may not be used to the macaron lie yet, as it seems he recently got sorted into Pomefiore. Epel demonstrates a disinterest in macarons when he has a chance to have many of them too.

In Epel's case, he keeps the facade of macarons being his favorite food. The truth is that grilled meats/barbeque/yakiniku is his favorite food. In his profile, both the truth (ie the meat) AND the false or "forced truth" (ie the macarons) are listed.

Following this logic... In a hypothetical situation in which Mrs. Rosehearts did "correct" her son's handwriting, Riddle would also have the truth (ie his left) AND the false or "forced truth" (ie his right) listed in his profile. Riddle doesn't, so I'm only left assuming he has always been right-handed.

With all of that being said 💦 I have to say that I'm a little... put off by some of the comments in the post linked in the ask. It's all fine and well to headcanon Mrs. Rosehearts "correcting" her son's handwriting, but I was startled by the assumed violence employed to achieve it??? Like... so many people mentioned very extreme ways of "fixing" left handedness, including but not limited to: hitting with a ruler, holding or restraining the hand, and even breaking an arm. And the worst part of it all is that many of the comments seemed to whole heartedly believe these are real tactics Mrs. Rosehearts would use and called for her death as retribution??? My first thought when it comes to "correcting" left handedness certainly isn't those violent methods, it's just... practice and maybe some stern talking-to? Which I believe is how Mrs. Rosehearts would have done it, if at all. All she has to do is tell Riddle to do it and he’d probably comply given how obedient he is to her.

It was extremely uncomfortable to see so many concluding that Mrs. Rosehearts had to have used a terribly cruel and inhumane method to get what she wanted. This always seems to happen whenever Mrs. Rosehearts is mentioned... An angry, vitriolic mob that assumes the absolute worst (even if she is not even mentioned in the scene) is roused, eager to jump on everything she says/does and accept the least generous interpretation of her as fact. It’s almost as though we believe experiencing emotional abuse alone is not as “valid” unless you experience physical abuse on top of that. That line of thinking worries me because that alienates and isolates those who don’t fit into one extreme and it denies victims of emotional abuse from being truly seen.

I'm not a fan of Mrs. Rosehearts myself and it's completely true that she has forever traumatized her son with her parenting methods, but I feel it's shortsighted to jump to such conclusions + assume these extremes are truth and unnecessary to express this level of hatred for what is ultimately a fictional woman. And, as I have expressed numerous times before, I worry that demonizing Mrs. Rosehearts to this extent obfuscates the full spectrum of abuse and promotes rigid, black and white/wrong and right thinking.

[missredherring]

Set Up

Javi Gutiérrez x Harry Castillo

Rating: M

Word Count: 1.1k

Contents: kissing, frottage.

Summary: Matchmaker AU. What are the odds a matchmaker sets you up with a former hook up? Asking for a friend.

A/N: I loved the parallels in the gifs and this idea quickly followed. Thanks to @perotovar for their encouragement.

Not beta read.

Divider by @saradika-graphics.

Javi takes a deep pull of wine and barely tastes it before he swallows. It's not how he was taught one should enjoy wine, but enjoying isn't his goal right now. Maybe he should've gotten something stronger if he really wanted to dull some of the nerves twisting in his stomach.

He's dressed nicely in a fancy restaurant whose waiting list goes out years rather than weeks or months. That he made this reservation a couple of days ago is a testament to the power of an old family name like his, but it makes him feel like even more of a failure.

It'd been a secret wish to find a partner organically. A chance encounter set up by fate where interest sparked with a moment of eye contact, a brush of the hand, an exchange of shy smiles. He knows real life is nothing like the idyllic movies he adores, but the small hope clings to his heartstrings and pulls at the worst times. Besides, when was the last time he's spent enough time in a coffee shop to have a proper meet-cute?

He'd thought Gabriela was the one for a few sweet months of heated kisses and whispered daydreams of a better future out from the thumb of his family. In the end he couldn't bare to trap her in his golden cage just because he was lonely and desperate for companionship. She understood better than he did that his family would never approve of them together.

The pressure to marry and marry well only increased after Lucas' failed coup d'état. The family needed to repair its reputation and present a stable, powerful image to the rest of the world. What better way to do that than with a wedding?

Javi's orders were clear: marry soon or they'd marry him off themselves by the end of the year and he would have no say in the union.

He understands. It's the least he can do to repay the wealth and power that's let him live such a carefree and privileged life, but that hope swings like a pendulum in his chest and he wants one last chance to find love for himself. That's happened before, right? There are a fair few movies that have the protagonists finding true love with the threat of an arranged marriage hanging overhead. Of course they also portray those marriages as a soul-crushing union that's a fate worse than death. He doesn't want to crush anyone or be crushed himself.

Hope swings away and he had to admit that maybe his family isn't wrong about the arrangement idea. So he negotiated one last chance to find a partner for himself and reached out to Nic for advice. His friend (his friend Nic Cage) had offered up the name of a New York-based matchmaker who he swore was one of the best. Some of the successful Hollywood couples? Her doing.

It was a strange experience to trust a total stranger to match him up with another stranger based on a form he filled out, but Javi is the kind of person who wants to trust other people, no matter how many times life delighted in proving him wrong.

Harry C.

He hadn't wanted to see pictures, charmed by the idea of a true blind date, but maybe that had been a mistake. The matchmaker had assured him they matched on the important things and now it was up to them to see if there was any potential in person. He hoped this whole thing wouldn't turn into a disappointment his family would see as another failure.

Javi reaches for his glass again but redirects to the water instead.

His phone vibrates from where he'd placed it next to the table setting. The phone going off during the date would be rude, wouldn't it? He turns the sound off before checking the message. It was from the matchmaker:

"I hope you have a wonderful time with Harry. Of course, if you're not feeling it let me know and I'll get you out of there!"

The emojis depicting a person running away makes him smile. He replies with a thank you and the fingers crossed emoji.

He starts to put the phone back on the table, but should he put it in a pocket instead? Would the phone on the table signal that he wasn't wiling to give his date his full attention? Should he have left his phone at home? No, meeting a stranger in a city he was only passingly familiar with was too naive even for him.

"Javier?" a voice asks as shined leather shoes come into his line of sight just beyond the table.

Javi finishes the movement of slipping his phone into his pocket and stands to greet his date.

"Please, call me 'Javi.'"

"Javi," Harry confirms and doesn't hesitate when Javi takes his outstretched hand and uses it to pull him in for a quick embrace. He lets Javi guide his face to the left and right for two presses of smooth skin against his cheeks. It's over in seconds, leaving Harry with a lingering sense of warmth and a pleasant, familiar cologne.

"Ah, please, have a seat," Javi says, gesturing to the empty seat opposite of him before sitting back down at the table.

It's a nice restaurant with packed tables spaced far enough apart for privacy in low lighting. It would be easy to forget about the city outside when all you can hear is the quiet hum of conversations and the occasional clink of silverware.

With his prize in his sights, Harry's patience feels boundless as he watches Javi finally settle in his seat and look him in the eyes for the first time that night.

Belt buckles rattle and the hiss of zippers are echoed in exhalations as ruddy cocks are freed from pants.

The recognition is slow but steady as Javi studies his face, his eyes darting from feature to feature before landing on his lips when Harry can't hold back his smile.

Harry could spit, but the other man takes his hand and licks along his palm and fingers instead, grunting when Harry uses it to press and hold their dicks together while he kisses him again and again, dizzy with the taste of alcohol and wedding cake.

"I finally get to know your name and of all people a matchmaker is the one to give it to me. What do you think the odds of that are, Javi?"

Seeing Javi's face among the candidates had been a shock. Harry had never expected to see the man he'd hooked up with at his brother's wedding again, but there he was, smiling at the camera wide enough to bring out the laugh lines around his mouth and eyes, just as he had when they'd locked eyes across the room at the reception.

"Small," Javi croaks, taking what can only be described as a 'swig' from his wine glass. "but apparently not impossible."