#i would have this same probelm if I had set aside today as a Relax Day but spent the whole day Stressing Out or Doing Chores/Work | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

monster-noises · 1 month ago

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Hgggg

Had one of those sundays where i felt just like

A little bit like shit all day

So i didn't really get any of my comic work done and it just kinda became a Lost Day

So now as consequence my brain won't let me go to bed because i did not Satisfy the Requirements as Set Beforehand

But i would like to actually set myself up for a successful week of going to bed on timebl because i haven't the last two weeks and i can Feel it slowly destroying me spiritually, mentally, and physically

But sometimes there js Naught you can do in the face of Wanton Mental Illness

#monster noises #i know i know my meteric for a successful day should not be tied to Productivity #but in my Defense that isn't Exactly what's happened here #i mean #yeah #i'm dissapointed that i didn't get the ball rolling until like 8pm and thus only had an hour to Work #but going to bed issue #is more about me setting the Plan and Expectation that I would do Comic Work today #but i didn't Fulfill that Expectation and therefore the Balance is Off and the Days Not Done #because we haven't Fulfilled the Criteria #i would have this same probelm if I had set aside today as a Relax Day but spent the whole day Stressing Out or Doing Chores/Work #without doing the classic half-day reset #where sometimes i'm In Control enough to realize when the day has gotten away from me and Pivot the Expectations to Just Chilling #then at the end of the day i Have met my Expectations and can just Siddle into bed no issues #but today i was not that Strong Willed #and kept Insisting that i Would get to my comic writing #Just After This Last Thing #but there was always One More Thing #and i felt like i was trapped under a sheet of plexiglass and couldn't fully wake up all day #so there was no pivot #i just stayed Stubborn until i had my dinner - then wrote maybe one page #and put it down for the evening #and that was not enough to satisfy the internal control team #and now i must sit here and Yearn instead of going to Sleep #it is Silly and i wish for it Not to be Happening

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