#they just!! keep!!! SAYING THINGS!!!
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fic writing is all fun and games until the characters decide they don't want to shut the fuck up!!!
#5k words and counting!!#they just!! keep!!! SAYING THINGS!!!#like at what point is this just a normal ass fic that happens to have some snz in it sjdnjvjndmcd#just ended up adding a massive section to the end that is soo unnecessary but it's my fic and i think it's cute so it's staying#the beginning is done the ending is mostly done now it's just a matter of filling in the middle which is an unserious way to write i'm awar#i am genuinely enjoying writing this which is such a good thing but also jfc i am SOOO ready to be done with it#off to bed now and hoping fresh eyes will make it easier to keep going tomorrow
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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i miss them so much it's not even funny anymore chat
the designs are @y0gurtfae 's!!! please go check out their peak art <3
#art#digital art#artwork#my art#hermitcraft#life series#wild life smp#wild life fanart#ldshadowlady#solidaritygaming#goodtimeswithscar fanart#boat boys bad boys and BAM i love you so dearly it's not even funny#i keep saying i'll draw things in the tags and then i forget about it#so just. i'll probably draw my other fav life series pairups sometime. maybe. at some point LMAOO
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Misha will actively go on record saying, “Jensen and I would have fucked nasty in the back of the impala, for the sake of canon Destiel of course, in a heartbeat. But the CW is homophonic :/”
And we just let him keep saying these things with no consequences.
Then Jensen like a week later is like, “No we did fuck nasty in the back of the impala, for the sake of canon Destiel of course, they just cut it :/”
#spn#supernatural#misha collins#jensen ackles#destiel#and we never ask questions#they just keep saying these things#we lose our minds#and then we just… move on??#there is not a day that goes by where I don’t think about Destiel and the things Jensen and Misha say about them
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my mom was saying that I'm pretty unlucky when it comes to cat health, but I was saying that a lot of folk have issues like mine, it's just that they don't deal with them and then the cat dies.
she said "that's not true at all," and I had to list how many cats my aunt and uncle have burnt through in the same time I've had Pangur and Grim. and then I talked about an old friend who would never even name her kittens, because they always died within the first year. and of friends who've watched their cats deteriorate without going to the vet, while saying "there's nothing I can do." in mainstream culture, cat death is normal and invisible. it's just that a lot of time the cat dies outside of the house (whether through illness, accident, or predation) so people get to maintain deniability.
#pangur easily could have died 10 years ago when she first got pancreatitis#and Grim..... I dunno. she needed her teeth out pretty young#because of an autoimmune thing#so they could've rotted in her mouth and led to some sort of massive infection without treatment#I just keep saying “NO” >:( whenever they try to die
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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End-of-Splatoon thoughts.
Thinking about how since the very start, Splatoon has had a feature where players can draw and post artwork and spot them as graffiti on walls or billboards. Or how the weapons have always been paint brushes and rollers and ballpoint pens. Since its inception, Splatoon has been dedicated to engaging its players with the act of creation and creative expression, showing them how their art can build communities and (literally) change the world.
Thinking about finding golden human-made music discs buried underground for thousands of years, and a grand finale music festival. About the Voyager Golden Records. About those human handprints etched into concrete in Alterna. Did those human artists know it would end like this? First a fiery death and then, eventually, a worldwide celebration of music to represent our shared past, present, and future. Did they know that their songs, insignificant in the face of extinction, would one day become the solution that will save the next dominant life-form from the same fate?
Thinking about how eerily similar the Octarian domes are to Alterna. About how close Inklings and Octolings were to repeating the same mistakes as humans. But their doomed fates were undone not by some miracle technology or military power or a rocket, but by music.
Thinking about how humans wiped themselves out with war, and our parting gifts were liquid crystals that somehow paired with the DNA of primeval inklings and somehow infused them with our memories and culture and a Song. And 12,000 years in the future, that same Song will end a war.
Thinking about how art and music and punk culture and rock & roll and friendly competition and petty arguments and water guns aren’t uniquely human concepts, but the fundamental qualities of intelligent life. An inheritable spirit that can cross evolutionary bounds.
Thinking about the theme of Splatoon, that art and music and fun will not die with the human race. That every piece of art we create is a seed we sow for future generations to reap. That our legacy is ingrained into the crust of the earth. That long after we’re gone, the oceans will remember, and they’ll pick up where we left off.
Thinking about how Splatoon says that the essence of humanity –– the thing that will outlive us –– isn't war or prejudice or destruction or greed, it's a song.
#personal#splatoon#“indomitable human spirit” but what if it wasn't just “human”#what if every creature had the capability to embody this spirit. they just need the chance#anyways splatoon's core theme is about how art and music is the most important thing on earth#wasn't expecting to get kinda emotional but in trying times it's nice that splatoon says that the art we make is a message to future#generations that we were once here and to *Do Better* than us. Be kind and keep making art#dead isn't gone.
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#fandom things#tumblr things#i may have said this at some point#i'm sure i have#but whatever - just in case#i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics#but just if anyone is so inclined that's all#ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog#i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting#but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen#not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy#at least of fics bc i save everything#not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about#that i've made or done and only posted here#anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today#i have plans to stare into the void now
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#m*a*s*h#mash#m*a*s*h 4077#mash 4077#mash out of context#s2e11#2x12#carry on hawkeye#currently working on something right now (FOR THIS BLOG. LET ME SAY THAT) and this episode is a hint#because it's been uhhhh 3 years. and I'm just now finding motivation to keep doing it#which is funny because I have a full time job now. isn't that funny how that happens#suddenly you have responsibilities and you're like welp! time to go back to this other thing#happy holidays...? from hawkeye#season 2
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I think an underrated angle on 2x05 is something that either Jacob or Assad said in some interview somewhere, which is that in that episode Louis is addicted to heroin. Thats why he has that whole stash of drugs that he gives to Daniel, that's why he gives Daniel the drugs even though he's already got him alone. He didn't just use those 128 boys for sex he was using them to get high. Bring them home, get them to shoot up, and then drain them to get that secondhand high.
It clarifies something that's always confused me about that scene, which is why Armand saves Daniel the first time. He wouldn't save Daniel as a person, he clearly knows Daniel needs to die, but he's not seeing Daniel as a person there. Daniel is just a substance. He rips him away from Louis to stop him from using.
And i think that adds a whole other layer to the fight he and Armand have to think that this is Louis on a bender, with Armand cleaning up after him because he's not stable enough to. Louis in the bed for a week isn't just healing from the burns, he's going through withdrawal. Him at the table with Daniel giving him the "bright young reporter" speech is probably the first time he's been sober in months.
It adds another layer to Armand's desperation, that Louis has been running from both Armand and himself in this way, and of course Armand wants to erase that memory. Of course he wants to pretend that that fight never happened. Not just to protect himself but in a way to protect Louis from having said those things. When he describes the fight to Louis afterwards, he says "you said the worst things you've ever said to me." And he doesn't really know how to forgive Louis for that so he just wants to bury this rock-bottom moment and move on like it never happened. After all, Louis was high, he didn't really mean it, but if he remembers then maybe he might think that he had a point. Better to wipe the whole experience away.
#imagine youre in an eternal spite marriage with your ex who you're in love with because he's in love with your other ex#who youre also in love with#and your spitehusband who hates you turns to drugs to cope with the traumatic death of his daughter (which you caused but who's counting)#and you just follow him around cleaning up his messes and propping him up and keeping him alive#because despite everything you do love him#and you find him mid bender and he's told his life story to a reporter and he didn't even mention you#and you're just trying to protect him from himself so he doesn't pass out in a pool of blood on the floor#and he tells you that you're a burden#that youre the thing thats killing him#that 10 hours with a stranger made him feel more alive than your whole relationship#and he says that youre BORING#that all your trauma and grief and fear made you UNINTERESTING#yeah id do some saw trap shit too#blorboposting#benni proof#interview with the vampire#loumand#iwtv
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danny phantom cast explorations and thoughts :v
#🧻 sharts#danny phantom#danny fenton#jazz fenton#danielle phantom#sam manson#tucker foley#i have like. other sketches of other cast members hidden away. maybe ill finish them up but#for now heres my thoughts on the cast! at least how i would do it#i never understood danielle being 12 when danny is 14. MAKE THEM IDENTICAL!!!!! RAAAAH#i have a lot of thoughts about danielle and non of them are canon compliant#i may just be rewriting the lore sorry#danny phantom is like r*wby to me#in which i rewrite the things i dont like#i will say a lot of the things im applying to the halfa’s is from an oc of mine#because i like the concepts and find them fitting#its not stealing if its from myself. its recycling#i think the one thing that keeps kicking me in the ass is danny's suit. its a hazmat suit but its vacuum sealed HAHA#i love both vibes of him in a tight superhero suit and him in a loose hazmat lookin suit with a mask or smth. for the creep factor#idk im figuring out how i would do the phantom alter ego. ywlma has me obsessed w it being elderich and scary though#wow. so many tags! LOL SORRY#guess ill die (danphantom)
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#American politics#Biden harris#Jumblr#kamala harris#kamala 2024#us politics#election 2024#2025#israel palestine conflict#pro palestine#Like yes things are not ideal politics is complicated. That’s why you vote for the BEST AVAILABLE OPTION RIGHT NOW#I can already tell what some of the braindead takes are gonna be like “we were just using out votes to oppose facismmmmm”#Omg well if deMoCrAts haven’t been silent for 7 yearsssss#The amount of arrogance you have to have to have these sort of takes as you take the freedom of minorities and women hostage#The republicans won’t be silent for 7 years. They’ll be actively campaigning for your blood. Hope that’s better.#Keep reassuring each other that you did the right thing. Keep patting yourselves on the back. Hope it’s all worth it.#Yes protest but goddamn use some COMMON SENSE????#And ANOTHER THING why wasn’t the rights of women an acceptable enough reason to ENSURE orange man doesn’t take office??#The way that some people can be this selfish and unable to care about others if it doesn’t immediately benefit them#the sad thing is I know this won’t change their minds or attitudes they will continue to blame everyone else and take zero accountability#No matter how you feel about Kamala nothing you say will convince me that letting trump win is a better alternative. NOTHING.
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x01 - “Heavy is the Crown”
#i rlly love what cait says about hextech since it rlly just foreshadowed the entire season#you can really see how much cait tries to steel herself and not let her emotions#turn into unhinged anger towards the zaunites until the memorial thing that ambessa orchestrated#everyone wants complex female characters yet they cant even handle cait lmao#she keeps trying to remind herself of vi especially and im UGHHHHHHHH pain#caitlyn kiramman they could never make me hate you#oh ALSO!!! I wish we had more silly siblings moments :C#arcane#arcaneedit#caitlyn kiramman#jayce talis#caitlyn#jayce#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#jayce arcane#arcane jayce#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane netflix#netflix arcane#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#league of legends#caitlyn and jayce#jayce and caitlyn#type: gif#media: arcane#s2 ep1
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alternate apocalypse ending or something who the hcrist knows anymore
#mcu#xmen movies#xmen#xmen apocalypse#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#almost posted this to the wrong blog omg i wouldve thrown up#this dumb as hell forgive me chat#unrelated i thought today was sunday but no it's. 4AM saturday THAT MEANS ITS CHERIK POSTING TIME#i thought of binning this like five times but ive convinced myself i like enough of this to keep it#at the very least im making myself chortle at the mini charles in the corner. like yeah that about summarizes it donnit#anyway the reason why we're here. highkey just wanted charles to grab his waist SORRY#and this was the first thing i thought of so. Apocalypse But Erik Directs The Ending jvlkeajl#my god i was gonna say something else but. i forgot#oh wait no i remember hold on. uhhh something something charles shouldve fought harder or whatever erik said in dofp#dofp IS before apocalypse i know this but it applicable. probably. im not gonna think bout it on whats essentially a shitpost#ok im sleeping now bye. ive got more doodles i wanna do but my god im sleepy. or at least i should sleep
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some more Twst pokemon as my brain melts at the impending episode 7 drop tomorrow! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
I went with Gholdengo and Cufant for Kalim, and Seviper and Malamar for Jamil! I went back and forth a looooot on whether to give Malamar to Jamil or Azul, but ultimately I think it just fits Jamil better. (Seviper was a given though)
#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#tentacles#if i had decided against giving jamil malamar then the backup plan was chatot#not because it actually fits him i just think jamil with a chatot would be funny#kalim would teach it to say nice things to him and then it would keep him up all night screeching HEY JAMIL YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND!!!!#LET'S BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER#jamil frantically googling how to rerecord chatter in the background
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