#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance
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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 2 months ago
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
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#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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hysteria-things · 3 months ago
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smut w chris and goody 2 shoes reader who always acts so smart and innocent w people then acts like a brat to chris?
he gets sick of it and roughly fucks her into her place , caring less for her pleasure and using her just so she knows how much of a slut she is!
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LESSON LEARNED
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: brat tamer!chris x fem!reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you get taught a lesson when you act like a brat in public.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, swearing, spanking, humiliation, face fucking, dry humping, squirting, p in v, rough sex, degradation, a sprinkle of praising, overstimulation, unprotected sex (no bueno!)
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,502
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: HAPPY KINKTOBER!!!
this is based off one of my blurbs from a while ago😜
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your reputation to others is excellent. you’re a nice girl, who is outgoing and will always follow directions or help whoever is in need. goody two shoes is what people mostly describe you as, which isn’t that far off. however, when you’re with your significant other, your bratty side slips up.
“let me go!” you tell chris like you’re a toddler, stomping your feet while he leads you to his bedroom. “i’m being serious!”
opening the door, he lets go of your wrist to have you lead inside, yelping when his palm smacks your ass to usher you more quickly before bending you over the edge of his computer desk. pouting your lips, you hear his heavy breathing as he forcibly pulls up your skirt. you know what’s coming. your punishment.
your eyes start to well up, feeling the slightest bit bad that you acted like a brat in front of his friends, but you’re one of all things. “o-one.” you say between a sob when your boyfriend’s hand slaps your ass for the first time out of many to come tonight. you start spewing out apologies, wiggling in his grip that’s pinned your hands behind your back. “i’m sorry, okay?” you admit, his hand spanking you once more. “i didn’t mean to!”
“if you didn’t mean to you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” chris snarls back, followed by another smack. “keep counting,” he says through gritted teeth.
SPANK.
your cries echo throughout the room as he continues to punish your reddening bottom. each slap lands with accuracy, leaving its mark on your tender skin. your tears fall on your cheeks now, mixing with the stinging sensation. “seven... eight... nine!" you wail, your voice hoarse from yelling. your body shakes with each impact, trying to squirm away another time. again, no use.
his palm connects again, the force jolting you. the pain courses to your core, pussy throbbing in response with a mix of mercy and arousal. “ten! i swear i won’t do it again!” you plea, desperate for at least some sympathy. alas, chris remains careless, his anger still fresh.
he acts like he didn’t even hear your lame apology, his focus only on disciplining you for your actions. raising his hand high, he prepares himself for another smack against your now-colored rear. “eleven.” he says under his breath, starting to count for you. the sound of skin meeting skin chimes, along with your pained whimper. he pauses for a moment, letting you take a breath to let your punishment sink in — and there’s no way out of it. then, without warning, his hand comes down again, striking your already sore ass with a vicious hit.
“twelve.” chris states clearly, his tone lacking mercy. he continues this harsh pattern, each spank followed by a number. “thirteen... fourteen... fifteen...” the more he counts, the more you sob.
“sixteen… seventeen!” you take back your job, shouting after each brutal strike. your body trembles, feeling like every nerve is in pain. the heat from your bruised cheeks radiate down to your thighs and the folds of your pussy. despite being punished, you feel thrilling and excited all in one. “eighteen... nineteen... twenty!” you choke out, your voice barely audible over your heavy breathing. the tears keep streaming, skin shining from sweat.
by the time his hand falls for the twentieth time, your bottom is a crimson mess. the sting lingers, knowing it’ll be that way for days. yet, you’ve never been so turned on.
chris finally stops after the last spank, admiring his work. your ass is a beautiful shade of red, the perfect blend of pain and pleasure. he can see the arousal glistening between your thighs, a clear visual of what this has been doing for you.
with a firm grip, he grabs your hair and pulls your head back, forcing you to look at him. his eyes stare into yours, filled with a mixture of anger and desire. “what a fucking brat.” he sneers, his other hand roughly groping your numbing ass cheek. he releases your hair, pushing himself off of you with so much force you fall to the ground, landing with a thud. from the impact, your butt stings even more.
curling into a ball, you wrap your arms in front of your legs and cry softly. “i-i’m sorry, chris.” you whine, voice shaking. the humiliation of being bent over and spanked like a naughty child, combined with the intense physical sensations, leaves you feeling vulnerable and exposed.
despite the pain, you can't ignore the ache between your legs. your cunt throbs with a need that it’s confusing. you’ve never felt this way before, and it scares you.
chris watches you on the floor, a smirk playing on his lips. he knows exactly what's going through your mind. “get up.” he snaps, standing tall and towering over you. “and get on the bed; on your knees. now.” he waits, expecting a protest, but he doesn’t receive one. that means it’s working.
once you're in position, he comes over, his cock already half hard. “if you're going to act like a brat, you'll learn how to get treated like one, too.” chris explains, running a hand through your hair. he unbuckles his jeans so they fall freely onto the floor, dick springing out right in front of you while gripping your hair and pushing his tip against your lips. “open up.”
trembling, you part your lips, allowing chris to guide his thick cock past them. the taste of pre-cum fills your mouth as he thrusts deeper, hitting the back of your throat. “mmph.” you gag slightly around his length, eyes glossy. you don’t pull away, of course. instead, you relax your jaw to accommodate him.
he sets a steady pace, fucking your face with elongated strokes. each snap of the hips sends vibrations through your head, making your nose pressed against his pelvis. your hands grasp at the sheets below, wanting to hold onto something since he’s in full domination. you’re uncomfortable, but your pussy continues to clench with need, juices dripping down your thighs. without thinking, you start humping the blanket to try and get friction on your clit like a bitch in heat.
groaning in satisfaction as he uses your mouth for his pleasure, he can feel your throat tighten around him, fighting to breathe around his girth. “that’s it, take it all.” he grunts, holding your head in place as he ruts in and out of your stretched lips. “this is what brats like you deserve.”
taking his free hand, he reaches down to cup your chin, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. the sight of you, tear-streaked and submissive, only makes him want more. noticing your desperate humping, he chuckles deeply. “look at you, getting off like a pretty little thing. you do enjoy this, don't you?”
you moan muffled around chris’ cock as he continues to use your mouth, driving you wild. “mmph! mmph!” you manage to respond, nodding frantically at his question. your hips buck harder against the bed, chasing the friction your clit needs. your pussy clenches tightly, a clear substance gushing out to soak the bedding beneath you.
seeing you drench the sheets, he grins, knowing he's pushed you to ultimate submission. he speeds up his thrusts, fucking your face with more power. “yeah.” he grunts, watching you fall apart beneath him. “you filthy slut. show me how much you love taking this dick like a good little whore.”
his words are degrading, but you enjoy the hell out of it. your mind goes blank, focusing on the feeling of his cock in your mouth and the desperate need pulsing between your thighs. sensing your climax, he pulls out abruptly, leaving you gasping for air and drooling. before you can recover, he flips you over onto your back and yanks your legs apart.
panting heavily, you stare up at chris in a daze, your body still shaking from the intensity of the previous actions. the sudden loss of his dick in your mouth leaves you feeling empty. you. want. more.
the exposing of your dripping cunt has his eyes widen, as if he’s a kid in a candy shop. “jesus, chris.” you whimper, feeling ashamed by how pathetic you seem right now. “please.” you’re desperate, not even sure what you're begging for anymore. release? punishment? his harsh words? all you know is that you’re craving every bit of him.
chris takes in the sight of your exposed, fluttering hole, his horniness shooting straight to his dick. “you want it?” he murmurs, his fingers tracing the swollen slit of your pussy. “you want my cock inside you; stretching out every inch of this needy pussy?”
when you’re about to answer, he lines himself up and plows in deep, burying himself in one stroke. a guttural groan rips from his chest at the tightness gripping him. “holy shit, you were made for this.” chris exhales, each pump of his hips driving him impossibly deeper. “taking my cock like the perfect slut you are.”
a sharp cry tickles your throat as he thrusts into you, the sudden stretch sending waves of pleasure and pain through your core. your nails dig into the sheets as he fucks you, each ruthless thrust hitting that sweet spot inside you and sending stars flying behind your eyelids. “yeah! oh, fuck, yeah!” you shout, your hips bucking fast to meet his brutal rhythm. “making me feel so good!”
the filthy words spill from your lips before it’s too late, fueled by the overwhelming pleasure you’re experiencing. you’ve never felt so full. his cock is hard inside you, pounding repeatedly against your cervix with each stroke.
his eyes flash with possession as he rails into you, living for the way your cunt clenches around him, gripping him deep. his balls slap against your ass with every violent thrust, the lewd sound mixing with your wanton cries. “mhm, scream for me.” he says, angling his hips to hit your g-spot just right. “let everyone hear what a cock sleeve you are for me.”
leaning down to your chest, he takes a nipple and swirls his tongue around it. his other hand snakes between your bodies to rub circles over your clit, wanting to push you over the edge. “cum on my cock, you filthy girl.” chris demands, his voice filled with lust.
each bite to your nipple sends sparks of ecstasy through your veins while his stimulation on your clit has you close to the brink of release. “oh god, oh god! i’m-i’m gonna—” your words turn into incoherent babbling as the waves of your orgasm crash over you. your pussy clamps down viciously on his length, milking him as your body shakes and becomes limp beneath him.
the grip on your clit tightens, prolonging your pleasure as he chases his release. with a final, sharp thrust, he buries himself and cums inside you, filling your spasming cunt with his seed. his cock throbs with each string until he collapses on top of you, his weight pushing you further into the mattress. “fuck, that was amazing.” he pants, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “and it’s all for me.” he whispers in your ear, referring to your body.
after a moment of silence, he pulls out with a wet pop. a trail of cum flows, painting your thighs with its sticky substance. he rolls off of you with a satisfied smile, but bites his lip when he spots his cum on you. “turn around and show me that pretty ass.”
“what—” you’re cut off when he guides you on your hands and knees, in the position he wants you in. his favorite; ass up with your pussy on full display. a shiver runs down your spine. it was silly to think you were getting off the hook that easy.
he shifts behind you, hands grasping your thighs as he aligns himself between your spread legs. one finger traces the marks he left earlier, your hips backing into him unknowingly. “so eager. tell me what you need, slut. beg for it.” he pushes the head of his cock against your entrance, letting you feel his growing erection.
chris waits patiently, your body practically calling his name to be filled again. he can see the desperation in the way you arch your back, presenting yourself even more. “you know what to say.” he points out. “i want to hear those dirty words from your smart mouth.”
he delivers a sharp smack to one cheek, watching the flesh jiggle and flush pink under the force. he massages the sting away, waiting for you to give him what he wants. “please, chris.” you pout, feeling embarrassed about how at this moment you can’t live without his cock. “please, fuck me again, baby. use me however you want.” it seems like you don’t know who you are anymore. hours ago you were tough and mighty, but now you’re small and submissive.
pulling you back against him, he lines up his dick with your soaked sex. “that’s it, princess.” he says, his breath hot against your ear. “swallowing my cock like the good girl i know.”
bullying himself inside of your used hole, your eyes roll back from being filled with him again. just as before, you wrap deliciously around him. he sets a quick pace, the sound of your bodies conjoining bouncing off of the walls. “you’re still so tight.” he hisses.
your mouth falls open in a silent scream as he slams into you, the wideness spreading you open and hitting spots you didn't know existed. it’s almost too much, but you love it. “yes! yes! yes!” you cry out, meeting each of his powerful thrusts. “h-harder.”
the explicit sounds of your guys’ love making fill the air, conjoining with your moans and the slap of skin. you can feel another orgasm building, your walls fluttering wildly around his base. “do-don’t stop. don't ever stop.” you babble incoherently, lost in the trance of ecstasy. “i’m g-gonna—”
feeling your gummy walls squeeze around him, chris is determined to bring you to release. “cum for me.” he insists, brunette strands sticking to his forehead. “come on, give it to me.”
he can feel his own high approaching, his balls tightening as he nears. he holds back, wanting to put you before him. walls spasming, your moans become a higher pitch. “i’m cumming! fuck, i’m—” you don’t finish your sentence when the familiar ring of white moves down his shaft. chris fills you up one more time shortly after, ropes of cum shooting into your womb.
exhausted is an understatement. you know damn well you’re going to be walking from side to side for days, possibly weeks. “i love you so fucking much.” he breathes from next to you, kissing your shoulder. you hum in response, shutting your eyes. if that didn’t make you learn your lesson, you don’t know what will.
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @moncherriis @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @raysmayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @tworosesblackthorn @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hearrtsturns @freshsturns @etershine @sukiipjs @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @ivyyyyyysposts @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @thesturniolos @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @bernardsbendystraws @hoes4matthew @deareststurns
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sapphic-kpop-fics · 2 months ago
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Fri(end)s (Huh Yunjin x Reader)
Angst, kinda unhealthy situationship, kinda happy ending where they get their shit together.
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You're in my head
I had plans for the weekend
But wound up with you instead
Back here again
Yunjin hadn’t answered any of your texts this week, after you had seen each other the Saturday before and hooked up like you had in the past. It had always ended this way, you hook up, argue a bit while she insists you’re just friends
“Y/n?” you heard as soon as you answered the call from Yunjin, her voice raspy like she had been crying.
You were currently getting ready to hang out with your friends and go to a club.
“Jen? Everything okay?”
“Can you come over?” Her voice wobbles like she’ll start crying any second, your heart breaks for her but you shouldn’t blow off your friends to comfort your situationship, right? This is was something that happened often, her calling you only when she’s upset or horny or usually both.
“Jen, I wish I could but I’m actually busy.”
“Oh…” a deep breath, and you can hear her start to cry a bit, “okay, that’s okay…I’m sorry for calling, I shouldn’t have. Go have fun.” She rushes out the words so her voice wouldn’t tremble as much when she spoke.
“Wait Jen. I’ll be there 20.”
“Thank you.” And the she hangs up.
You press the contact of your best friend, Yeji.
“Hey Yeji…” you start
“Don’t tell me you’re canceling again.” She said already knowing where this was heading.
“I’m sorry..”
“Are you going to see her?”
“What? No.” Not believable at all.
“God dammit y/n, I told you, you have to stop seeing her. She’s literally ruining you.”
“No she’s not.” You insist.
“Just last night you were crying in my apartment because she hadn’t texted you back in a week.” Yeji argues, proving her point.
“I can’t help it… she sounded really upset.” you admit, voice quiet.
“I know.” Your best friend knows you’re still going to go see the girl, as you weren’t very good at self control when it came to her, “Be careful. Try not to end the night yelling and crying this time.” A reference to the many arguments you and Yunjin shared, mostly at her lack of feelings but she’d say it’s because you have too many feelings.
So you go to her dorm, where Chaewon lets you in and gives you a pitiful look, even her members knew that the way she treated you wasn’t okay. You didn’t want to think about the amount of people who felt that way, like you were prey trapped and unwilling to leave even when rescued.
You softly knock on her door and whisper a “jen?”
“Come in.” It’s small, almost unheard through the thick wood of the door.
When you walk in, your heart kinda breaks. She’s sitting on the floor in front of her bed, arms around her knees with ripped paper littering the floor in front of her, lyrics scribbled on the tiny pieces. You sit next to her silently waiting for her to open up.
“I love my job. But people can be so horrible sometimes.”
You had figured her songwriting had been a topic among hateful “fans” online from the scattered paper in front of you.
Her head leans against your shoulder now and instinctively you wrap your arm around her. And you sit there like that in silence for hours until she feels better, once again throwing away your night to help the girl.
Friends, just for now
Yeah, but friends don't say words that
Make friends feel like more than just
Friends
“You’re so beautiful you know that?”
You both were drunk after a night out with mutual friends and of course, you ended up in Yunjin’s bed without your clothes. The compliments weren’t normal though, Yunjin would say you’re hot and compliment you of course she wasn’t a monster however it was only during sex but here she was cuddling into you, whispering little compliments and confessions as if it’s nothing, you assume the alcohol has something to do with it.
“I wish I could treat you better.” You freeze your hand that’s rubbing her back when she finishes, “it’s just so….scary.” Her words are slurred, obvious she’s still drunk and so are you which is why you make no move to stop her from talking, “you deserve better.” Is all she gets out before falling asleep in your arms.
Friends are not supposed to get too close
And feel emotions that
We're feeling now, now, now
We ain't slowing down, down, down
It was another night where she had called you late, asking you to come over, saying she “needed” you in that pouty voice to get what she wants. So here you were standing in her room after she took all of her weeks frustration out on you, looking at her as she’s turned away from you.
“I think I love you.” You whisper as the ginger girl is getting dressed after one of your nights together. She freezes as she’s about to button her pants and sighs, you know what the sigh means and you knew this would be her response but you wanted her to know how you felt.
“I’m sorry, i don’t feel the same.” She deadpans, though you can tell she’s masking something underneath, “you said that was okay.”
“…it is.”
“Great.” She says as she starts walking to her door to open it as a gesture to get you to leave.
“I shouldn’t have fucking answered.” You mumble, meant to only be said to yourself but of course she heard you.
“But you did. You always do.” Finally turning to look at you, “it’s pathetic really. The way you come crawling to me no matter what I do.”
“That’s not true.”
“Really? I can bet that if I called you tomorrow after insulting you all night, you’d still answer.”
“That’s not true.” You shake your head, though you know it is true. It’s like something takes over you when she calls and you can’t control anything.
The way she laughs at you is mocking, and mean. She could be mean sometimes, not often, only when she was particularly stressed with her schedules and you were usually the one she took it out on whether it was in bed for hours or insulting you and mocked you until you cried and left.
“Oh really? Then what happened tonight?” Her head tilts, a challenge.
She was right, last week had ended exactly as it was going now and of course as soon as she called you answered and came over. Just like she said. You didn’t answer, avoiding her eyes that are staring at you. Tears dripped from your eyes.
“Are you fucking crying?” She scoffed, “i think you should go.” She finalized.
You don’t take another second to think before you’re pushing past her and out her door, tears falling more frequently now. Unfortunately, Chaewon sits on the couch in the living room right next to the door you have to leave out of. Her eyes connect with yours and there’s a mix of pity and worry.
“Are you okay?” She asks, but you knew she heard what was said and that Yunjin tells her everything.
“Fine.” Is all you say before opening the door and leaving, you hear Chaewon yell for Yunjin before the door closes fully, her voice angry.
Now, I'm over pretending
So let's put the "end" in friends
You’re sitting on Yunjin’s bed as she paces her room and lectures you once again on how she doesn’t want a relationship and she just wants to be friends that have fun together.
“We’re friends. That’s it.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.” She affirms, voice hard, she means it.
‘’Maybe we shouldn’t be.”
“What?” Yunjin had only now started showing emotions other than annoyance at you.
“Maybe we should…. Put the end in friends if you know what I mean.”
“No. I need you.”
You laugh, it’s a bitter one as opposed to all the other times she made you laugh, a chill goes up Yunjin’s spine at the sound, looking to the ground as you do so.
“No you don’t. I don’t think you ever really did.”
“That’s not true.” Sounding familiar to one of the last times you saw her, this time she’s saying it.
“Don’t lie Yunjin. You never cared about me.”
Yunjin flinches a bit at the use of her full name, you had never called her that not even during your worst arguments, you had only and always called her Jen.
“I did. I cared.”
“You have a shitty way of showing it.”
Being faced with the truth, Yunjin’s heart feels like it’s shattering. The consequences of her actions had finally caught up to her, unfortunately one of them was losing you.
“You should go Yunjin. I don’t want to see you ever again.”
Your cold voice surprises Yunjin, it was a stark contrast to how you would speak to her even if arguing you never really raised your voice at her. It shocks her so much that she doesn’t hesitate to finish getting dressed and walking right out of the door without another word.
4 months later..
In your bed as you try and rest for the night your phone buzzes three times next to you.
Huh Yunjin
Hey.
I know it’s been a while.
I miss you.
You
Leave me alone.
Huh Yunjin
Open the door.
You’re confused at the message but then you heard a knock, this crazy woman actually showed up. You didn’t know if you felt upset or happy, I mean yes you shouldn’t be seeing her especially after four months of silence but then again she had never made the effort to show up to your place and talk to you, unless she was drunk.
When you look through the eye hole in your door, you see Yunjin same as a few months earlier but her hair is now a red color. Her eyes are red and puffy like she had been crying, she’s wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt as opposed to her usual attire when seeing you. She looked broken and it hurt you, so you open the door. Her watery eyes look at you in surprise when you finally open it, walking in after a few seconds of staring at you.
“Why are you here?” You ask as soon as your door is closed.
“Um-I-I don’t know.” She stutters, “i just wanted to see you i guess.”
You had never seen her like this before the usual confident girl was fidgeting with her hands and her eyes are fixed on her shoes, her voice was quieter than usual and sadness laced all of her words. You don’t know why you do it, an hour ago you would’ve said you hated her and you still might but your feet are moving and suddenly your arms are wrapped around her. She freezes in shock but returns the hug, her arms squeezing you tightly enough that you wouldn’t be able to get away, now that she is comforted by you the tears that filled her eyes are rapidly rolling down her face as she cries on your shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” She says after she calms down.
“For what?”
“Everything.”
You’re still hugging, Yunjin’s death grip not lightening yet.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we last talked.” Now starting to pull away from you, “I treated you horribly and you didn’t deserve it. We were never just friends not since we met I know that, I was just scared.”
“J-“
“I love you.” She cuts you off, she had said the words before in bed while fucking you but you didn’t know if she meant it and you still couldn’t tell.
“I don’t trust you.” You say, plain and simple, you felt sugarcoating was pointless at this point.
“You shouldn’t.” Her head shakes, “but I would really like if you gave me the chance to earn it back.”
“I don’t know Jen. I don’t wanna get hurt anymore.”
“I’ll be better. I will do anything.” The ginger girl grabs your hands, “I want to be with you, for real this time. And I’m such an idiot for not realizing sooner.”
“Yeah, you are.” With a playful smile that Yunjin returns, the tense air now becoming more comfortable. Her forehead rests against yours.
“Does this mean you’ll give me a chance?” Her voice is hopeful, and she’d be embarrassed by the pathetic nature of her question.
“It’s going to take a while.” She pulls her head away shocked, not expecting you to actually agree, “we can’t just go back to how we were, I’m talking starting from scratch.”
“I can do that.” She agrees a little too quickly.
“Go home.” You tell her as you let go of her hands a few moments later.
“I can’t stay?”
“Starting from scratch Yunjin. Take me on a date first and then you can maybe have sleepovers.”
“You’re going to be the death of me.” A smile on her face, then she walks out of the door giving you one last smile, excited to get home and plan a date so she can finally prove how much she wants you.
——————————————————————————
Part 2 where Yunjin experiences growth and earns your trust back and is the best gf ever???
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trippinsorrows · 6 months ago
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looking through your eyes + one
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authors note: hi! this is a complete rework from another roman story i wrote but needed to redo. it's a mafia au, so understandably super dark. a 'blink and you'll miss it' bit of a beauty and the beast retelling. not meant to be anything groundbreaking or unlike most mafia stories.
i've found that my writing is best when 2nd person pov, so i wanted to challenge myself to make this third person to better my writing, thus, bear with me, ya'll. :)
if any cw/tw's are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!
cw/tw: language, violence against women, mention of parental death, vague hinting at past sexual trauma
song inspo: 'looking through your eyes' by leann rimes
words: 5.2k
Through trial and error, mostly error, a lot of error, Solana Miller has learned and mastered most of the things that upset her father. 
Speaking out of turn. Meals not being ready on time. The house being a “mess.” The actual list is a living breathing thing that grows with each day and every unfortunate occurrence, but always at the very top of this list is lack of punctuality. 
There’s nothing Xavier Miller hates more than lateness. 
And that’s exactly what she is. 
Solana nearly faceplants into the three steps leading into the house with how fast she’s running. Her shaking hand and sweaty palm make it take longer than usual to unlock the front door, and the force in which she slams it shut behind her should be enough to knock the nearby family photo off the wall.
The photo that she is not included in, of course. 
She’s brushing off invisible lent as she rushes into her father’s office. “I’m sorry, there was an—” Her panting mouth snaps shut when she reaches the doorway, hand holding onto the frame of the door. “—accident.”
The minute Solana saw the flashing police lights and array of red brake lights was the moment she realized that she was in for a brutal punishment. She’d started to mentally prepare for such, trying to recall if she’s restocked the first aid kit kept in her bathroom and frequently retrieved. But, it’s not until she’s standing in the doorway of her father’s office, an office that’s filled with not only him and her brother, Wes, but other men that she realizes the ferocity of this punishment may be unlike any she’s received in some time.
Not only is she late, but she’s now interrupted some sort of meeting that he wanted her present for. 
Xavier’s eyes land on Solana with faux happiness that conceals flames she recognizes as a precursor for what’s to come. Naturally, like he’s not imagining all the cruel ways he can hurt her, in a way that only he can do, he slaps on a tight smile. “Ahh, there she is.”
Solana also realizes how almost everyone’s gaze is on her, and that doesn't make for a good response because she finds herself asking, “what’s going o—”
Xavier’s smile is very much unlike the ice in his voice. “Silence, child.” 
The sharpness of his command evokes an immediate response. Her shoulders slump and head drops. The displeasure just keeps growing. Solana can already feel the bruises forming, the sting of the ice on her busted lip. 
One of the men, an oversized, middle aged white man with a sharp gaze speaks. “I take it, this is your daughter?”
“It is,” her father confirms. If she didn’t know any better, Solana could almost swear she hears a hint of proudness. “Please forgive her lateness. She knows the importance of obedience.”
And the repercussions of obedience. Repercussions Solana knows await her once this meeting ends.
“I hope she does.” The same white man clears his throat. Solana hears the ruffling of papers but refuses to look up. Her gaze is better served focused on the ground, her silence and submissiveness certainly music to her father’s ears. “We received the requested medical report, and it appears you weren’t lying, Miller. The girl is still a virgin.”
That….that is the moment where it takes all willpower for Solana’s head not to snap up, eyes wide with both confusion and partial recognition. She’d wondered why her father asked her to schedule her yearly check-up with her GYN when she wasn’t due for another couple of months but knew better than to question, so she went ahead and did it. 
And she wondered why this checkup was so….different. Labs were taken, more questions asked, and a vaginal exam that had her leaving more uncomfortable than she’d ever been with Dr. Boyd. Not that seeing the woman was ever an enjoyable time in the first place. She's cold, stoic, an obvious doctor on the mafia payroll, but she's still a woman. 
Solana can't have a male GYN. She can't have a male doctor in any sort of specialty.
The confusion, however, comes into play at this man’s words.
“The girl is still a virgin.” 
That couldn’t be farthest from the truth.
“Her blood work also indicates she should have no problems conceiving a child.”
Emotions overpower reason as Solana breaks her silence and lifts her head. “What?” One furious glance from Xavier, and immediately, she knows that she’s fucked up.
She also realizes that she’s failed to notice one very important member whose sheer size takes up almost the entirety of her father’s onyx black loveseat.
Solana has heard the name Roman Reigns more times than she can keep track of over the years. It’s inescapable to live in this life and not know of the brutal ruler of the Bloodline, one of the most notorious mafia bosses in the underworld. But never in any of her 28 years has she seen him in person. Maybe somewhat in the same vicinity but never in close proximity, not like now where he’s sitting mere feet away from her.
He’s reclined back into the seat, thick legs spread, a blank expression on his handsome, bearded face. His features are sharp and predatory, yet there’s something about his eyes, a beautiful, light shade of brown that’s such a contrast to the cold blooded killer he is. Bulging, rippling muscles seem to be at battle with the plain black shirt he wears, and she notices his silky black hair is pulled back into a surprisingly neat bun of sorts. 
Solana knows that she shouldn't stare, but it’s hard not to. The man is objectively beautiful. He’s also staring directly at her. 
Panicked, her head drops down, eyes returning to continue counting the amount of beige swirls in her father’s persian rug. 
“Shut up…. ”Wes speaks from the other side of the room. He’s leaned up against the column near the bookshelf, lazily spinning around the pocketknife he never goes anywhere without. 
It’s the same knife that’s cut into her skin at least more than a couple of times over the years, drawing various amounts of blood depending on the extent of his anger.
Wes is always angry.
“I’m a man of my word, Mr. Heyman.” Solana doesn’t even need to be looking up to know her father has his hand over his chest, that faux sense of honor painting his harsh features. “I would never disrespect the Tribal Chief by wasting his time.” Solana’s throat goes tight. “My daughter is a worthy candidate.”
Candidate. Heir. Virgin.
It doesn’t take long with these major clues for Solana to piece together what they’re discussing, why her presence was required when never before has her father wanted her anywhere near one of his meetings.
Arranged marriage.
They’re discussing a possible arranged marriage between Solana and Roman Reigns. 
Her fingers flex and suddenly start to rub nervously against the soft material of her dress. Any appetite she had prior to entering the home is no longer present, vacated, replaced by a thick, heaping layer of anxiety.
Arranged marriages are far too common in this life. There’s not a week that’s gone by since she became of age that she doesn't hear about some union between two members of rivaling or partnering families. It's just how these things are done.
However, at 28, much past the typical timeline that daughters are married off, she’d accepted that that was not her fate. And she was okay with that, more than okay. Is okay with that.
Solana has a……complicated relationship with men, anyway. With people in general, but especially men.
The thought of her being paired off to Roman is so bad that it’s almost laughable. Their compatibility is in the negative range. He would never give her a second look, not even a first. A man like him needs someone who matches his prowess. She isn’t even on the radar.
And yet…..
And yet her father has somehow garnered interest, provided his counsel with her medical information “proving” her worthiness, and secured a meeting.
Circling back around to the medical report has her chest feeling tight and heavy. Lies. Her father has clearly paid off Dr. Boyd to write up whatever he believed needed to be said to increase his chances of locking in this deal.
She doesn’t know about the fertility portion, never really bothering or concerning herself with that part of her health. Someone has to have to have sex to conceive a child, and as far as Solana is concerned, that's never going to happen.
Not....not again.
But the virgin part is most definitely a lie. The physical exam certainly would have confirmed that.
And yet, the exact opposite was stated. 
Chills instantly move down her spine. Her father is perpetuating a fraud. Even more, he’s perpetuating fraud to a man who’s rumored to have a body count in the thousands. The same man he’s trying to pawn her off to.
This….this is not good.
It’s not good at all.
—----------
“She’s weak.”
That’s the first thing to leave Roman's mouth since they entered the Miller Manor, and it’s not announced until they're back in the SUV and on their way back to his estate.
Checking emails and clearing notifications that piled during the time his phone was tucked away, he continues. “Too young. Has no backbone. It’s embarrassing.” Roman’s tone, much like everything else about that pointless meeting, reeks of boredom. 
“Her father clearly has her on a tight leash,” Rikishi adds. He brings the handkerchief he keeps in his shirt pocket and swipes it across his forehead, dapping up the light sheen of sweat that’s already formed in the walk from the house to the SUV. “But, a very pretty girl.”
Roman cannot and will not disagree on that. She’s undeniably beautiful, but everything else about her is unappealing. And saying Miller has her on a tight leash is an understatement. She’s terrified of him. The brother too,  and Roman would take a solid guess that one of the two is responsible for the slightly faded but still visible bruise he noticed on Solana’s upper forearm. 
There’s some conflicted emotion present at that piece of information, though he mostly leans in one direction.
Women and children should be off limits. Specifically, women and children who aren’t already indoctrinated into the life to the point of training. Roman knows plenty of kids who completed their first kill while still in single digits and women who fight better than some of his men. For them, it’s free game. They’ve proven they can handle themselves.
Solana doesn’t fall in any of those categories, and he’d be shocked if she even knows how to hold a gun.
Thus, in his mind, she’s off-limits.
Nonetheless, his family is full of fighters, regardless of sex.
So there's the other part of him that can't understand her passivity, that believes she's just weak. 
The thought process generates a list of other, much more adequate options. “What about Belair?”
“Engaged to be married in the Montez family.” Roman rolls his eyes. That fucker is an irritating prick. Seems like a desperate match. 
“Cargill?”
“She….” It’s slightly comical for Roman, watching the older man work his hardest to explain what was inarguably a disrespectful rejection. “---is not interested.” 
A dark chuckle leaves his throat. “She said fuck off, didn’t she?”
“More or less.” 
Roman smiles. He would expect nothing less. Cargill is a beast of a woman, a sure fun time in the sheets if she would ever remove the stick from up her ass.
“If I may, my Tribal Chief….” When Roman remains quiet, he takes that as his cue to continue. “The girl may be young and docile, but that also makes her moldable. She will do whatever you want with no protest. Is that not a possible advantage?” Roman continues to look out the window, allowing Paul to add on, “and she will have no problem giving you an heir, which is inarguably the most important thing at this point in your life.”
“He brings up a good point, uce,” Rikishi chimes. “With your temper, it’s probably best for you to take a wife who is more passive than dominant.”
Logically, it makes sense, but the idea of a stuttering, stammering wife who can’t even maintain eye contact for more than a minute doesn’t appeal to him in the slightest. 
“And as far as age, she’s closer to 30 than anything. You go for any older, and you might run into fertility struggles. This is the perfect age.” Rikishi’s crooked smile is followed by a small chuckle. “You ain’t so young yourself anymore, uce. Gotta have an even balance.”
There’s a difference between a balance and a child. Roman is prepared to say as such when Jimmy speaks, deciding to add his two cents from the passenger's seat.
“Look, Big Dog. All you need is for her to give you a kid, and you heard Paul. She can do that. Ain’t no need in making this bigger than what it is.” His insertion and contribution to the conversation ends up being valid. Granted, if he was anyone else, the delivery would have resulted in a maiming. But, this is Jimmy. He’s like a brother to Roman. Him and Jey. Hence their privilege with speaking so bluntly. “Shit, and did you see that body? Mannn, I’d never pull out of that.”
Also a valid point. Her dress was fitted around the chest area, accentuating heavy breast he could most definitely see himself palming as he fucked her from behind. The rest of the dress wasn’t as contoured, but it flowed against her shape when she walked in, and he could make out the curves he was certain she preferred to keep hidden. It’d been a while since he’d taken a woman to bed with a body like hers, a preference, but also not as easy to find in his world of fit assassins and killers who spend more time in the gym than anywhere else.
His latest set of women were on the slimmer side, moderate thickness, nothing like this girl.
But sexual desirability aside, her passivity indicates she’d be….that kind of woman. The woman who expects words of affirmation and quality time. A “gentle” kind of woman who’d want him to be sweet and patient in the bedroom, to make love to her. Roman is neither and none of those things.
He fucks, and he fucks hard. Subsequently, his wife should be cut from the same cloth. 
“Just….think about it, my Tribal Chief, hmmm?” Paul’s voice is tentative, laced with that tone that indicates he believes the decision should be made sooner rather than later. Granted, he values his life and standing in the bloodline, so he opts to not implement time constraints. 
A wise decision. 
“The scars.” Roman counted eight of them total, the one most pronounced on her face, slashing across her right eye and into the top of her cheek. The type of scar that’s embedded into the skin. And the soul. With a few of his own, it’s one of the first things he noticed. “What’s the story there?”
Paul quickly pulls out the portfolio from his briefcase, hurriedly flipping through papers when he settles on the one he’s looking for. “Ahhh….” Paul clears his throat, a telltale sign that’s he uncomfortable with what he’s about to say. “2005. It was a hit. Her mother was killed in the attack. Knifing. Solana survived, clearly.”
Roman turns his attention from the passing cars to look at his Wise Man. For the first time since this whole interview process began, Roman is intrigued. “She was there?” Paul confirms as such and says something else, but Roman’s attention is out the window again, haphazardly watching the flow of traffic, assimilating and accommodating this new piece of information. 
This may be the one and only thing he can understand about this girl. Something…something he can relate to. 
Survival
One doesn’t go through something like that without coming out on top or letting it bury you. Unlike him, she’d clearly gone the latter route. Granted, just making it out alive, physically, he knows better than anyone, is a feat in and of itself.
“Give me her file.”
—-------------
Dear Mom,
I’m sorry I didn’t write yesterday. It was…..a day.
I’m not even sure where to begin, because I’m not sure what to even feel at this moment to be honest. Dad is trying to marry me off to a mafia head, which would be fine, except….except that head is Roman Reigns. He’s….he’s a monster, mama. Has no soul. Not that many men in this life do, but there’s something about him that’s even more terrifying than the others. To make matters worse, dad had Dr. Boyd lie in my medical report. She wrote that I’m still a virgin, I guess something about my hymen still being intact. Mama, that’s a lie. There’s no way that’s possible. 
Not.....with what they did to me.
I’m trying hard not to panic, because there’s no way Roman would go for me. He’s a monster, yes, but even Lucifer was God’s most beautiful angel. He’s a very handsome man. He would never want someone like me.
I don’t know any man who would.
“Solana.”
Solana quickly snaps her journal closed, using the pen in her hand to mark her spot. She’s met with the gentle smile of 73–year–old Meryl Jensen, a widow who’s worked at this library for almost forty years.
Solana still remembers the first day she met Mrs. Jensen. She was 6-years-old, and her mom was looking for a certain book she’d read about in the newspaper. A book that she hoped would further and better her English speaking skills. A native of Mexico, Nina Miller taught herself English by immersing herself into American literature, film, and music. 
Similarly, Nina taught her Solana Spanish by immersing her daughter in Spanish literature, film, and music. A secret among the two as an always hostile, paranoid Xavier “banned” Nina from teaching their daughter a language he couldn’t understand.
If he couldn’t control it, it was a no-go.
But it was when Mrs. Jensen was helping Nina locate her book, Solana noticed another book sitting near a kids display. Goodnight Moon.
If Solana tries hard enough, she can still remember the warm smile her mother gave her as she allowed her to check out the book, her very first "purchase" from the library. It started a love of books, aided by Mrs. Jensen who always provided appropriate recommendations to Solana and her mom.
Not that Solana tries to think too much about memories with her mother. They’re almost always ruined and replaced with the sounds of the butcher knife slicing into her mother’s body as Nina used the last of her strength to shield and protect her daughter from the violent assault that would end up taking her life.
Solana’s smile, however, does dim and her stomach drops when she realizes that Ms. Jensen isn’t alone. 
“This girl is always writing, I swear.” It’s only when the older woman refers to her book that Solana quickly closes up her journal, shoving it to the side.
Her eyes never leave Roman though.
And his certainly aren’t leaving her, even as Mrs. Jensen places a hand on his arm, laughing at her own joke.
Mrs. Jensen then squints her eyes and leans over the counter. “Child, did you fall again?” It takes a second for recognition to dawn. She’s then hit with the memory of her father backhanding her across the room, the force sending her to the floor after the dispersion of yesterday’s meeting. A truly pale punishment compared to some of his prior assaults. “My goodness.” Mrs. Meryl laughs, shaking her head. “An everyday klutz I tell you. I can’t think of one day she hasn’t come in here without some kind of mark from her clumsiness.”
Roman’s staring directly at Solana while acknowledging the older woman’s casual observation. “Interesting.” He then darts his eyes, offering a smile that, if one didn’t know any better, could be considered genuine. But Solana does know better. She knows much better. “Could you give us a moment?”
Of course, Mrs. Jensen obliges, saying something about hushing up some boisterous high school students on the first level before it’s just Solana and Roman. 
She has a million and one questions, starting with why the hell Roman Reigns is at her job. Whatever the reason, it can’t be good. A man like him only brings about chaos and mayhem.
And death.
Swallowing and powering through the onslaught of anxiety, she starts off in an unsurprisingly soft voice, “if you’re looking for my father, he’s—”
“If I wanted your father, I would be speaking to him right now.” Roman’s interruption is dangerously calm, but Solana detects a hint of irritation. “You’re the one I want.”
Oh.
What in the world this man could want with Solana is beyond her. To make matters worse, Solana catches his gaze on her bruised cheek again. Makeup could only do much, but she's really starting to wish she went for heavier coverage. She drops her head, focusing on the denim of her jeans to avoid his burning stare. “I—umm.”
Solana’s body registers before her head does that Roman is lifting his hand to touch her. She responds accordingly, jumping back and away from the interaction. He chuckles, darkly, lowering his hand to his side. “That was some fall.”
Solana unconsciously brings her hand to hover over her cheek. “I’m—clumsy.”
“No, you’re not.” It takes a second for Solana to register his blunt comment and another for her to digest that he’s calling her bluff. “But, you are a terrible liar.”
He’s not wrong on either note, but she’s unsure just how to respond. “What—what do you want from me?”
Roman straightens up, and just the sheer size of him makes her swallow in fear. He’s a beast of a man, more beast though than anything else. “To make sure you understand what this is. It’s obvious Miller didn’t inform you about the meeting, and I won’t go into anything with anyone unless they’re fully aware of what they’re signing up for.”
If he’s waiting for Solana to acknowledge the first part of his reason for showing up at her job, he does a poor job waiting because he goes straight into his disclaimer. 
“I have no desire to be with you or any other woman for anything more than a sexual release. We’ll ensure my bloodline continues, but that’s it. Financially, you’ll want for nothing, and I can assure you, your clumsiness won’t be an issue. But, I will never love you, never see you as anything more than a business arrangement because that’s what you are.” He’s studying her facial expressions, reading all of the emotions oscillating around. “Do you understand?”
There’s a couple of different thoughts racing through her mind at this moment, but the dominant thought is wondering just what in the hell would possess someone like him to ever even consider someone like her? He is the definition of brute strength in all areas. She is beyond broken. There can’t be anything appealing about that.
But then….maybe there is. Roman knows she will not cause him any trouble, can recognize this brokenness and sees it as an easy way to get what he needs while still having the freedom to do whatever, and whoever he wants. It’s a bit of a win-win. 
And as far as the love aspect…..
Solana learned a long time ago that all of the fairytales lied. There is no prince that rides in and saves the damsel in distress. No one to swoop in and save you from the monster. It’s either killed or be killed, and her death already occurred on August 7th, 2005.
As ironic and fucked up as it is, Solana recognizes this is the best deal she’ll ever get in her life. 
With quite literally nothing to lose, she acknowledges him.
“I understand.”
—---------
The minute Solana steps into the house, she’s immediately shoved into the freshly painted wall behind her. A strong hand is on her throat, restricting her breathing.
“What did you say to him!”
Fingers foolishly grasping at the hand suffocating her, Solana tries to speak even with knowing that it’s impossible when she can’t even breathe. This only pisses her brother off even more. He bangs her head into the wall, causing the nearby pictures to shake. “Answer me, you stupid bitch!”
“Let her go, Wes.”
Xavier’s command is followed with a delayed acquiescence. Solana falls to the floor, coughing and gasping violently. She brings her hand to the back of her head to check for any blood, but her gaze is soon on the black leather shoes her blurred version is able to make out.
Solana cries out when her father grips her hair, yanking her head back and forcing her to look at him.
“We know Reigns came to see you at your job today.”
At some point in her life, Solana would be stunned and partially disturbed this, by how her father is aware of this piece of information.  But, this is no longer that time in her life. That time when she was naive enough to think that she could ever escape this life, ever leave and never look back.
She’d tried once. Foolishly. And it landed her in the hospital for two weeks. 
Solana can still remember her father’s dry, cracked lips pressing an insincere kiss against her temple as he said in the calmest yet coldest voice. “You ever try to leave this place again, and I’ll make sure to finish the job.” 
That was the last time she ever fooled herself into believing better waited for her.
“Now, what did you say to him?”
“I—I—nothing.” It’s not a lie but not the entire truth. She didn’t say anything that should have pissed him off. Then again, with a man as temperamental as Roman, anything and everyone could piss him off. Look at her dad and brother. “What did he—”
A phone ringing possibly saves, or just delays, the next set of hits. And even better, it’s Xavier’s phone.
He pulls it out of the back pocket of his pants, eyes lighting up. With a mischievous smile, he taps the screen twice, answering, “my Tribal Chief.” Solana’s eyes widen. “To what do I owe the honor?”
“Cut the bullshit, Miller.” Roman’s deep, baritone voice is powerful and authoritative, even when he’s not even in the room. “You know why I’m calling.” And before her father can further upset him, Roman jumps straight to the point. “We have a deal.”
It’s been some time since Solana has been so thoroughly surprised by something she’s heard that she briefly loses awareness of where she is. But this….this is one of those moments. 
He can’t…..he can’t have said what she thinks he just said. Her acknowledging understanding was just a formality. She didn’t think he was actually considering marrying her.
Xavier’s smile is broad, signs of a man who just got exactly what he wanted. “Wonderful. We shall start planning.”
“Two weeks. The wedding will be two weeks from today.”
The tightening in her chest has returned. Solana is certain she’s about to start hyperventilating. This….this can’t be happening. 
Xavier and Wes share a look as he stammers with a response. “Uhh, yes, of course—whatever you wa—”
“Oh, and Miller?”
Irritation flashes in Xavier’s eyes, but he shoves it back for a polite acknowledgment. “Yes, my Tribal Chief?”
“You or your boy lay a single fucking finger on her again, and I’ll gut you both where there’s nothing left to bury.”
Solana is almost certain there’s not a single one of them that’s not taken back by Roman’s icy warning. However, she swallows when her father’s fire gaze lands on her. She knows immediately she’s in for a matching bruise on the other side of her face.
Xavier laughs quietly. “That girl has always been so clumsy. I assure you—”
“One.”
Xavier is understandably confused by Roman’s single-word response. “Pardon?”
“Everyone gets one chance to lie to me. You’ve just used yours.” For the briefest hint of a second, Solana believes she sees fear flash in her father’s eyes. “Consider yourself warned.”
The phone disconnects. 
Silence settles over the three of them, but it doesn’t last. 
“I–I don’t understand.” Solana finds her voice, unable to stay quiet in a moment that’s completely just changed the course of her life. “I–I can’t marry Roman.”
For a lot of reasons. Many reasons that she can list out and defend if given the chance.
Solana is consumed by her thoughts and pending mental breakdown, so much so that she misses when her brother stalks across the room. He throws her back up against the wall, and the minute her eyes land on the silver, she’s frozen in place.
His grin is predatory and satisfactory as he murmurs, floating the knife in front of her. “It seems you’ve finally made your existence have some type of purpose.” Solana has to close her eyes. Just seeing knives sometimes brings her back to that night, and having one pressed against her….
Wes knows exactly how agonizing that is to her, hence his favorite method of torture. 
Swallowing, she weakly protests, “you—you told them I’m a virgin.”
That’s a major reason why. Her father has made her out to be some chaste, pure woman when she’s anything but. And to lie to Roman, of all people, about something like that.
They’ve more or less signed her death decree.
“No. Dr. Boyd’s medical reports confirmed you’re still untouched, and you’ll go along with it for however long is necessary.” Xavier’s rebuttal is smooth and to the point, like he doesn’t see the issue with his actions.
He never does. 
“Don’t you understand?” Wes lazily slides the knife up and down her skin, smiling at the terror in her face. It’s his greatest motivation, witnessing the extent of her fear toward him. “We’d let Reigns and his entire bloodline fuck you if that’s what it took to get what we want.”
Solana has no shock value at his words. Wes stopped caring anything for her the minute she got their mother killed, and it’s not as if she can entirely blame him. 
Nina would still be alive if not for Solana. It’s something she accepted ages ago, an undeniable truth. 
However, she does have to ask in a pained voice, “what do you want?”
Xavier supplies, taking a hit of his cigar she didn’t realize he was holding this whole time. “We want and will have control of the bloodline.”
If not for her current situation, she’d laugh. Control of the bloodline. That’s….that’s not even a dream. That’s a delusion. Still, there’s an undertone to his voice and words that alarm her. In a quiet voice, she protests. “That’s—that’s impossible.”
Solana hisses as Wes presses the knife deeper into her throat, nicking her skin and drawing blood. “No, it isn’t, not anymore. Because we have a way in.”
And it’s with widened eyes and a constricted throat that Solana finally understands what’s happening, what they plan to have happen. 
Her voice is barely above a whisper. “No….”
Xavier answers with a cruel, wicked smile. “You’re going to kill Roman Reigns for us.”
242 notes · View notes
henneseyhoe · 1 year ago
Note
I JUST READ THE MELO SMUT🥵🥵so good can you do another one we’re he’s obsessed with the reader like he’s always posting her and showing her love or even like him being overly obsessed and a little dark
CLOSER.
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Lamelo x BLACK!FEM!reader.
WARNINGS:!!SLIGHT CNC!!, daddy kink, stalking, mentions of blood and death, k!dnapping, mentions of mental health, kn!fe play(kinda), breeding if you squint, crying(as always), reader is a tad bit delusional, no protection(wrap it before you tap it)
Ps. I feel like being a perfectionist and overthinking fucked this up for me but I can’t keep holding this damn request hostage 😩 so I hope you still enjoy this, it’s LONG lmfao.
Pss. I thought I lost this request, whole time I just had to scroll down LMFAOOO
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“Damn, girl. This like the fiftieth love note you’ve gotten this month!” Karina exclaims, looking down at the stack of notes on Y/Ns counter, the girl adding one more from today into the pile. Truthfully, Karina had been sick of seeing them, disgusted by the amount she got weekly. “Girl, stop! It’s not…maybe fortieth” Karina makes a face, side eyeing Y/N with slight scornful expression. She was more than weirded out at the creepy gestures not moving her friend even a bit. Karina on the other hand, got goosebumps even looking at the letters. They were creepy to her, and every time she read one about this mysterious person confessing their love to her bestfriend, she grew more concerned for her wellbeing. “Like that makes a difference, Y/N. You don’t find this shit kinda..weird?” Y/N shrugs, not seeing the point in looking deeper than the notes themselves. A part inside of her liked the attention she got.
“No, not really. It’s kinda sweet!”
“Sweet?! this man, woman, thing, whatever the fuck! Has been writing to you for almost five months now and has not shown their face. You don’t think that’s creepy?”
“I dunno. Maybe they shy, Karina”
“Nuh-uh. I don’t trust it, I don’t like it. What if it’s your ex?” Y/N laughs, taking her jacket off and setting it on a coat hanger in her closet before heading to her kitchen to prepare a meal, Karina following closely behind her to continue her scolding.
“You are so dramatic, you know that? Me and Jason haven’t talked in so long, I doubt it. I haven’t even seen the nigga around”
“So? Nothing about me is dramatic, I’m telling you the truth. That’s more than a secret admirer, that’s a stalker”
Y/N shrugged her off, laughing once again, and further annoying Karina with her lack of urgency to get down to the bottom of the situation at hand. “Stalker? What is this, a lifetime movie?”
“No, it’s real life. that’s why I need you to stay ready for whatever, especially with that creepy ass message your ex sent you after your breakup”
Little did she know, her friend was right all along. It wasn’t her ex, but someone who was far more demented and delusional. Lamelo had been sending eerily specific love letters to Y/N’s house for months, but had been watching her for well over a year now. Almost as soon as he saw her, his last obsession became a buried memory, Y/N now being in the forefront of his mind and sticking there like double sided tape to itself. After some time, he knew her from top to bottom, back to front, and soon, inside and out. If it was up to him, she would have always been his, but he wasn’t the best with approaching women of Y/N’s caliber. She was smart, a college student studying computer science, and none of his silly mind games that’d usually trip up other girls he was interested in would work on her. He had to up his game, and so, he set his plan in motion until he got her in the right place to sink his teeth into her.
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“Be safe, okay?”
“Yes, Karina! I won’t get murdered or chopped up over my vacation week, I promise” Y/N joked, but Karina was dead serious, finding no humor in her mess. Y/N’s smile drops, and she becomes serious, mostly so Karina would leave her alone about those ‘silly little notes’. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll be safe” she reassured, both the girls finally saying their goodbyes with a loving hug and wave. Closing the door, Y/N sighs. Karina was her bestest friend in the world, but sometimes she could be overbearing. Y/N felt maybe she needed a bit of attention since her recent breakup. She craved it, really. It didn’t matter if the attention was physical or something with a little less contact, Y/N wanted it. But, It wouldn’t go farther than that, she didn’t need a rebound.
Walking into her kitchen where she just finished preparing dinner, she began making herself a plate of spaghetti and freshly toasted bread. The smell of the food made her stomach growl. She knew if she didn’t give Karina a plate of her own before she left, she’d complain that Y/N hogged all that good food to herself. Satisfied with the plate she made, she grabbed her a fork from the dishwasher and sat down at the dining table. Taking a generous amount of pasta on her fork, her mouth watered just as she was about to send her tastebuds to food-heaven.
Then, the doorbell rang.
The girl pauses, praying whoever the hell that was would go away on their own so she could finish eating.
Knock, knock, knock.
Damn. Her lights were on, they knew she was home. She sighs, her fork lowering back down to her plate. Swallowing the saliva that had accumulated in her mouth, she unsticks herself from her comfortable seat, grumpily making her way towards the front door. Oddly, she saw no one through the frosted glass frame placed in the middle of the door, so she was forced to open it up and see what was going on.
“Hello??” She called, aggravated by how she had to leave her hot dinner just to answer the door and be met with silence. Stepping out on her porch a little, her eyes scan her yard, though nothing but darkness surrounded. Shaking her head, Y/N slams the door shut and locks it. “Stupid ass kids knockin’ on my door. One day imma stick my foot up one of they asses” She rants, walking back to her little set up. Feeling happiness again, she takes that lovely bite of food and does a little dance in her seat.
As her eating progresses, she couldn’t help but to notice her vision blurring, creating two of everything around her. Her head began to spin, and her heartbeat could be heard in her ears mid bite. She had lost her appetite completely by now, currently only focusing on not throwing up all over her table.
‘Where’s my phone?’
She could have sworn she had set it right next to her plate, but it was no where to be found now, even in her corrupted vision. Holding her head in her free hand, she gags at the sudden smell that fills her nose. It was a faint smell, but noticeable. sweet smelling, almost. Ironic for the bitter moment. Her brain told her to stand, and she followed suit, but she couldn’t stop the weakening of her knees or how slowed her breathing was getting.
Her body hit the floor with a ‘THUD’, her limbs feeling completely weighted down, and her consciousness slipping from her as she laid on the cold tiled floor, unable to move.
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There she was. Finally where Lamelo wanted her to be. He was so jittery and giddy about his successes that he could scream, but he held off on that till he was alone. His letters, fake pages, dms, and Instagram likes had finally paid off. He had her all to himself, and finally, no one was in his way. Not her colleagues, not Karina, not even her ‘crazy ass’ ex. He had gotten rid of him as soon as tension rose in their relationship. Jason hadn’t seen REAL crazy till he met Lamelo, and he made sure he knew that before his last breath.
The first time Lamelo and Jason interacted was when he witnessed their first relationship fight, which was fairly petty, but Melo didn’t see it that way. He had left a reeeal lengthy note on Jason’s dorm door, describing in step by step detail about how he would gut him like a fish, cut him up into tiny pieces and send every single bit of him off to his ‘helpless whore of a mother’, as Melo described her as. Of course Jason was shaken up, rightfully so. But obviously not shaken up enough to back off.
After not talking to Y/N since the argument, Jason appeared on her porch with that same note, tearing her a new one. He thought Karina was playing jokes on him for arguing with her bestfriend and making her cry. He took his anger out on her, yelled up a storm, and burned up the letter in his hand with his lighter, leaving it on the poor girls porch to stomp out as tears flowed from her glossed brown eyes.
Lamelo took the whole thing as a challenge. Did he really think Karina was on his level of literacy? That note was too well typed for it to be her. So, him being the man he was, made his threats come to fruition. He easily beckoned Jason into close arm reach by teasing him on his campuses basketball court as Jason was doing solo drills. Lucky for Lamelo, he trained at night.
Walking himself into the low lit court, Lamelo began taunting him, which stretched over three whole minutes. Knowing the hot head would react with physical anger, Lamelo kept a guard, and as soon as Jason tried him, Lamelo revealed the bat he held behind his back, swiftly taking a mighty swing at the man’s left leg, hitting right below his knee. Jason couldn’t have possibly seen it coming.
“Right out the park!” Lamelo continued to tease with a wide smile as if blood wasn’t splattered on his shoes. Red spilled from the back of Jason’s knee from his bone completely breaking and stabbing its way through his muscles and skin. You could have heard the snap of the bone and the sound of him hitting the floor echo through the gym, a sound Melo wanted to hear, but Jason’s loud screaming ruined getting the full effect. “I guess this is the part where I run to base” Grabbing the man by his destroyed, bloodied leg, Lamelo drags Jason off of the court as he screams bloody murder.
Lamelo instantly began regretting not bringing anything else to knock him out with without killing him, but every mastermind had slip ups. a shame somebody is gonna hear his screams and probably have nightmares about it now though. Not that Lamelo cared about either parties wellbeing, he just didn’t wanna hear his or anyone else’s mouth.
Then, in Lamelo’s basement face down, Jason continues to cry like a baby while Lamelo took a much needed drink break for the sake of his sanity, or what was left of it.
“How the fuck am I supposed to play ball now!?” Jason heaves suddenly with a quiet sob leaving his dry lips, his coffee colored hands holding his thigh as the blood spilling slowed. “You genuinely thought you were gonna get that far?”
Before Jason had time to attempt to answer, two bullets were already lodged into his skull, one exiting from between his eyebrows and one through his left eye socket.
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His daydreaming was cut short by Y/N mixing in her seat. Her consciousness had finally came back, but confusion quickly filled that space in her mind that was once occupied by unconsciousness. She looks around, not recognizing anything around her. “Look who’s up” Melo leans up from his seat in front of her, peeling off the ghostface mask he wore just for dramatic purposes. Y/N’s eyebrows knit together. “I know whatchu thinking. Where am I? Who are you? I’ll tell you all that later. But, for right now, we’re gonna celebrate” He smiles, and tosses the mask, standing from the couch he sat on.
Walking over to a small bar, he pours an unknown drink into a glass. Y/N had no idea what was going on, nor did she really care to find out. She was too worried about all the guns and knives that were laid out on the floor next to his seat. Fear pumped up her body with adrenaline, her entire being tingling. She wanted to jump out of her seat, but her arms were tied behind her back, and her ankles were tied to the chair’s own legs.
“I wanna make a toast. To a new life, and new love” He held up his glass and drunk some of the mystery liquor. Waking over to her, he holds the glass to her lips. “Drink” he instructed, Y/N shaking her head and looking away. “Why not? You think I poisoned it or somethin’?” He takes his hand and grabs her jaw, forcing her to look at him. “I wouldn’t do that to myself, so drink” he insists.
Looking back at him, her eyes trace his features, stretching down his long, tatted arms. Creepy shit aside, she thought he was cute, but she had to stay focused. “If you don’t drink, imma just force you” Y/N didn’t budge, but Lamelo had no problem with setting her straight early on. Gripping the sides of her face to make her open her mouth, he tilts her head back roughly and pours the drink into her mouth. The liquid went down smoothly, but burned her throat like hell. She didn’t drink, she never did because she got drunk easily, and Lamelo knew that.
She jerks her head away with a strong gag, tears welling up in her eyes. “I dunno if you realized yet, but I’m the one in charge, I’m the one who ain’t tied up, I’m the one that could end you like *snap* that” he threatens with a snap, but it holds no weight to him. He wasn’t gonna kill this one, or at least he hoped he wouldn’t have to. “I know you’re a smart girl, so I know you can listen. I didn’t go through all those letters to find out you can’t follow simple instructions, pretty”
Her eyes were drawn to him, anger now flickering within them like a flame in a dark room. “Letters?…You were the one writing those fuckin’ letters?” She spoke through clenched teeth. Lamelo smiles. “Surpriiiise~” he sings, gulping down the rest of the alcohol before slamming the glass down on the floor. The glass shattered into pieces, making Y/N jump at the sound. Her breathing was ragged, and pressure built up behind her eyes like a dam waiting to be cracked open.
“You’re a sick person” She spoke with distress, shaking her head. Melo shrugs with no sympathy. If he had a dollar for every time someone said that to him, he’d be a Rockefeller. “Everybody sick, I just have no problem showing mine, unlike the rest of society”
“Jesus Christ” she muttered, her head hanging low in regret. Karina was right all along, and she didn’t listen. If she did, she wouldn’t be in this position, her life in the hands of a man she didn’t even know. “Don’t act so sad. You’re gonna love me…or at least learn to. again, you’re smart”
“I don’t wanna love you. I wanna go home”
“You are home. Don’t be stupid” He spat, waltzing by her and picking up a blade from the floor, inspecting in. Y/N tenses up, Lamelo immediately noticing. He side eyes her with a slight smirk, mischief infesting his energy. “You think imma cut you, Y/N?” She kept quiet, but he continued to pry. “You think imma scar that pretty frame you got? What about this beautiful face?” He walks over to her, using the knife to swipe a box braid out of her vision. Y/N sniffles, taking a deep breath.
“Let. Me. Go”
“Or what?” Lamelo challenged, getting close to her as Y/N gave him a look, one he couldn’t make out or tell if it was anger. “You can’t do shit, I made sure. I tied you real good. Your friend thinks you went on vacation, so if you aren’t answering tomorrow, that just means you made it safe and you’re having fun. Maybe found yourself a fun fling that’s distracting that pretty mind. Somebody you invited up to your room” he continues, the tip of his knife swiftly making a cut into her gown with a quick swipe, making the thin fabric fall from the top of her body, pooling into her lap.She wanted to cover her naked body, but the rope restraints stuns her movements.
“Would you take me back to your hotel room, Y/N? I would have been a great candidate” the sadistic nature of him alone had her terrified, he could have done anything to her. She began shedding tears. She was exposed now, realizing the gown wasn’t even something she remembered wearing or buying, so he had to have put it on her himself when she was knocked out.
If he pulls the rest off, she was for sure fucked, no pun intended. He stares with no shame, the tip of his tongue grazing his plump bottom lip.
‘Fuck’
She attempts clenching her thighs together to stop the tingling, but it never subsided, and her brown nipples getting as hard as pebbles helped nothing. She wanted to keep a guard up so badly for her own safety, but the wetness coating the lips between her legs was telling her to do something else.
He notices how her legs were trying to move and her hips slowly circled, unintentionally trying to find a specific position to stimulate her clit. She couldn’t help it, she just wanted the tingling to stop. “Lemme help you wit’ that, ma” Melo smirks, putting his hand right under her soaked pussy. She stops immediately and lifts her butt as much as she can, feeling the warmth of his hand under her. She shakes her head ‘no’, but he nods a ‘yes’ and keeps his hand placed, kneeling on one knee in front of her. “Go ‘head” He says. The approval he gave her lingered in her head as the tingling intensified, giving her no choice but to fall into temptation.
Y/N hesitantly lowers herself down and begins to move against his hand, swirling, bouncing, and grinding down at the speed she wanted as her hips stuttered backwards every time his finger tips would swipe over her clit. She let out a stifled moan and threw her head back, rocking her hips faster as she felt herself climb closer to her end. Lamelo only fed her urges by bringing his hand up higher every time she’d raise her hips when the feeling got too strong, aiming to stimulate her clit through even the strongest parts of her orgasm. His dick was as hard as an iron pole in his pants now. It almost painfully pressing up against the material, the tip leaking precum just practically begging to be set free so he could fuck something, and soon it’d get its turn. Y/N could just see it through her eyelashes, she couldn’t help but look, it was so obvious.
Lamelo slides his fingers between her wet folds, collecting her slick to keep her clit wet while she used him as she pleased. “Speed up” he instructed.
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Fifteen minutes had passed and she had already came twice in the palm of his hands. Her seat was sticky and her thighs were wet, but Lamelo’s hand and arm were wetter. He slid his hand from under her and took a taste of what he had craved for so long. All of the timeless nights he had spent looking through her bedroom window, watching her feel, fuck, and taste herself, wishing he was there to catch every drop.
Feeling defeated, Y/N’s head lulls backwards as she rests her eyes on the ceiling above her. There was no other sound but the ringing frequency in her ear and the huffing of her breath trying to slow itself. She could hear her own heartbeat slowing too, just until the sound of wood creaking above them drowned the sound out. She pauses, her eyes shooting wide.
‘Who could possibly be here? could they help?’
Was what she began thinking as all the color from Lamelo’s face seemingly drained, his breath now still. Suddenly he reaches for the knife he held earlier, grabbing it from the floor and clutching it in his hand. Just in case someone had creeped down the stairs to the basement and witnessed what had been going on, he had no problem getting rid of whoever was responsible for ruining their moment.
The walking upstairs prologued, the hot tears that filled her eyes starting to flood her flushed cheeks as he placed a finger over her lips, signaling her to shut up. The cold blade of his knife pressed against the skin of her throat, so hard that she could practically feel her pulse and she was holding her breath purposely, scared the blade would cut her precious soft skin if she moved even an inch, and he cared less.
As the footsteps went away, distancing from them, he moves his hand. He lets out a much needed breath of relief and licks his lips, a smile growing on his face. “Roommate. Thought we were goners there for a second. You did good though, ma” He praises, standing from his crouching position. “I think you deserve a treat because of that”
Positioning his knife under the rope that held her feet in place, he looks up at her with a warning look before cutting both of her legs free. He walks around the chair and does her hands next, giving Y/N the room to rub her aching joints, feeling relief. Only one thought ran through her mind just then, and though she was tired from the recent back to back orgasms, she knew she only had one chance to get it right. So, she stood like a lamb taking its first steps, and took a run for it.
‘Please, please, please’
She pleaded in her head over and over again as she ran though the large basement, hoping to find an exit. Just as she had spotted a door at the end of a dark stairway, light of freedom shining through the cracks, her body jerked backwards and spun in the opposite direction, the miss placement of her sore feet being the reason why she hit the floor. The taste of iron filled her mouth from the gash on the inside of her lip, her teeth accidentally biting down on it as she went down.
She thanked god that carpet covered the floor or else she would have definitely knocked a tooth loose, and maybe lost one. “Run pretty fast for someone who’s been tied up for hours” He flipped her over so easily, prying her legs open so he could kneel between them. He admired her entire body as he held both her wrists down above her head with just one hand so he could capture them in a pair of cuffs, making sure she had no fighting chance this time. She couldn’t believe his hand was big enough to hold down both, and even with her struggling, he didn’t budge once.
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The take down was rough, but when he fucked, it was nothing like she expected. He slid his shaft along her clit, the pink bud erect and sticking out from her hood. He couldn’t stop himself from jumping against her pussy with excitement, the tip of his dick slapping the bottom of her belly with every bounce. He pulls his hips back, the tip of him now resting against her dripping entrance, ready to ruin her for the next, if Lamelo didn’t get to him first. “Stop..” She mutters, but deep down, she was really anticipating the contact.
Her sexual organs were completely against her once again, fogging her mind with thoughts of him she didn’t want and didn’t expect to have. She was forced to sit there, pondering on how he felt and how deep he could go inside of her, but she no longer had to wonder as he pushed his hips back forward to give her a taste of what she would be stuck with for the rest of her days.
He sunk into her slowly, her walls gripping him as a welcome upon entrance. He practically had to force himself inside with a drawn out sigh as Y/N sucks in air, both of them exchanging looks into their eyes before looking down at where they connected. Her stomach involuntarily sucks in, showing the bulge of his dick every time he thrusted forward with skill into her. The feeling deep down was so indescribable, so good that she almost cracked a smile. She hadn’t even noticed how much he was stretching her out, she was too busy feeling every inch of him.
Her eyes rolls back and her toes curled as she brought her legs back further for him, Lamelo smiling at how he didn’t even have to tell her to do so. He was just proud that she was learning, but she had much more to get down pact.
“Good girl…” he rasps.
“It’s so fucking deep” She whispers, her voice slightly hoarse from her throat being dry. As his hips tempo changed, the chains connected to her wrists made jingling sounds, making music with the clapping of their thighs joining in the harsher he got. He couldn’t tell if his bodies reaction to her was cause he hadn’t had sex in a long time or if she was just that damn tight. Meanwhile, YN was Lost in clouds of her own, feeling the repetitive push of Lamelo’s tip knocking against her g-spot, her own cream starting to slip out of her and drip down to her ass.
“This pussy grippin’” Melo compliments, one of his hands moving downwards to grip at the girls throat, making her tear up once again.
“Yeah? You like it?” She spoke breathlessly, the man above her nodding and laying a singular kiss on her lips, making her swoon momentarily before going back to her struggling whimpers.
“Mhmm, fuck” He moans. He never moaned, but he guessed she was changing him too.
“Call me daddy”
“Daddy!”
“Yeah, what’s my name?”
“Daddy! Fuck!”
“You so fuckin’ pretty, mamas” he groans out, almost whimpering as his dick pushed inside her further and further. She felt like he was trying to make her cervix a home for his dick with how deep he was going. Y/N began to think how they had gone too far for her to ignore how she was enjoying every bit of this. No matter how much she tried to tell her pussy to stop cumming for him, she continued, making the carpet under her soaked with her honey. Hours ago she wished her hands were untied to beat his ass, but now she wished they were uncuffed so she could trace his tattoos while he dug her out.
He was hitting spots that not even her ex man was hitting.
Using her thighs for leverage, he begins to fuck her in a push-up position, ramming his long dick directly into her coven, her walls squeezing him almost like she was showing thanks without words. Her juices made it easier for him to fuck her with no limit, slipping and sliding into her with no trouble apart from how tight she was gripping.
He didn’t hold off to cum either, he had already came twice, but he had more to give her and she had no choice but to take it. He was convinced he could imprint on her, and it was a bonus if his seed grew inside of her after all this hard work he put in. She was gonna stay with him, and he was gonna make sure of it.
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402 notes · View notes
soobadnoonecanstopher · 3 months ago
Text
Rat Bastard - Part 7
Pairing: You x Kyungsoo 
Rating: M (Mature)
Word Count: 8900
Warnings: There were too many beds, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Idiots to Lovers
A/N: I wrote this in less than a day and none of it followed any of the plans I had for this story. This new laptop makes it too easy to write and it might end up adding extra chapters to this fic. Sorry and you’re welcome.
Tag: @ilovemyapopbaby
Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
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The silence that sat down atop both of your heads after that door closed tight, leaving you and him completely alone together for the first time in literally forever was about as loud as anything you’d ever experienced. 
Kyungsoo stood just inside of the drab entryway and you had been lingering closer to the hallway that would take you further into the shelter. You watched his face for a while, trying to gauge the mood he would be in to find himself trapped in here with you for at least one night, maybe two if things got wild at the hospital and Mr. Chen wasn’t able to get away as he promised. 
How would he feel about this? The relationship and you used that word strictly for lack of any other word to describe the you and the him, had been strained from the start, downright hostile at times, and only very recently kind of sort of settled into this civil agreement in which you did not antagonize him and he did not antagonize you -- much. 
It wasn’t a friendly relationship for he himself had told you quite brutally last night that he had no interest in being your friend, but lately, with the interactions that had grown just a little bit softer, the chat you’d had with him out on the patio as he made you ramen and teased you about your sexual optimism, the silly time passing game of stating a personal preference between two completely inconsequential things and you found, much to your surprise that you and he shared more than a few minor tastes in common; the fright you had been triggered into with the spiders in the movie and the genuine comfort you felt from him; it felt almost as if something somewhere might be changing. Were you, just as you had been with the threat from the fake spiders, simply imagining the entire thing? 
“Well, shit,” Kyungsoo whispered mostly to himself after the heavy door slammed shut and you looked up into his face to catch the smallest furrow of his brows and the frown of his lips. 
Was this a worst case scenario for him? Trapped alone with the girl he never wanted to be trapped with? Having gone out of his way all those months ago to ditch her on that stupid blind date and she just had to be pathetic enough to pick a fight with him about it, and then about anything and everything she could find to fight about and just when he thought he’d escaped that nightmare of a person she shows up here and not only is she forced upon him by the staff here but now he’s somehow charged with feeding her and entertaining her? You could see it in his face. He looked disappointed as evidenced by the furrow and the frown.
You pulled your arms up and crossed them over your chest, pulling your eyes down and away from that disappointed look you saw in his eyes and you made a deal with yourself then and there; you would not be a burden. You would keep as good a distance as this situation allowed and behave yourself as far as your temper or your tangled feelings for the man were concerned. You wouldn't let it show just how far down this pathetic rabbit hole you’d fallen of uninvited attraction and unrequited love. You’d treat him with disinterest, maybe casual civility that a shop worker would get, or that old man at the grocery store who made a friendly joke about the price of eggs and you provided the required perfunctory laugh at exactly the right pitch and tone to be deemed socially acceptable. That was what you would do, you would perform as expected by society in such a situation. 
It wasn’t his fault that you’d allowed this little crush to fester deep inside your stomach; and for a man who didn’t even desire friendship from you. It wasn’t the first time you’d let your heart run away with your mind. It didn’t have to happen with this man. 
You felt a slight burning in your stomach, just below your breastplate and you placed a palm over the space where you felt the pain. You knew enough about your body to recognize that you were just feeling the aftereffects from the panic from earlier. It always came as an upset stomach that burned and ached usually for hours after your heightened emotions had run their course. 
“What is it?” You hadn’t expected his attention but he must have seen your hand sink down hard just over the space at the top of your stomach. He must have noticed the look of discomfort on your face that you quickly blanked away with the drop of your hand. 
“Nothing,” you said flatly dropping the subject entirely before he had a chance to probe or suspect more of you and you lifted a hand to half shrug into the air, “umm… did you want to finish the movie or … maybe play another game?”
His lips parted and he closed them up, his eyes briefly leaving your face and glancing behind you into the dark hallway from where you both had come. 
When he didn’t answer you right away you inhaled to speak again, before you sounded like his own liability that he had to deal with, “you don’t have to do either, if you don’t want to. I don’t need you to entertain me or anything, I can figure something out for myself if you just want to be alone.”
You’d already spun on your heels, determined with your newfound resolve to be exactly as aloof and unaffected by anything he said or did as required by society to keep the peace; taking the first few steps away from him and turning back toward the dim light from the open kitchen door that you could barely make out as a direction in which you should travel.
“We could,” the first sounds of his voice stopped your steps and you turned your face in his direction, not committing to turning around the whole way, “play something, if you want.” 
“Not Monopoly again, I swear to God,” you said with a finger lifted into the air and you heard the soft chuckle that came from behind you. 
“Awww, my little Princess didn’t like the bitter taste of defeat?” You could hear the joking tone in his voice and weirdly that strong feeling of uncertainty you’d felt only moments earlier seemed to change with the teasing tone he used with you. Changed into what? You wouldn’t say, but it was only a slightly more comfortable feeling. There was a burning sensation just under the skin below your cheekbones and you thanked whatever god was responsible for putting you in this darkened hallway during this moment for the cover that would keep the blush from being noticed by him. You were imagining the softness you heard in that nickname. This man did not hold any affection for you. 
Inside the kitchen you returned to the familiar set up that you had left, only it felt wildly different. Gone was the soft comfy feeling of the mattresses on the floor, the pillows set up at your back and the fluffy down winner’s blanket sat in a tangled clump on the floor beside the bed that you both had occupied. The briefest of thoughts flittered by -- would you be able to smell him in it now? That clean, crisp fragrance he seemed to carry with him, would those microscopic molecules be wound into the spaces in between your one thousand threads ready to drift inside of your nose, bringing you back to the moment below the blanket when his fingers intertwined between your own and he held your hand, keeping you grounded and still connected to this world. The comfort he had given you then, but why? To keep you from embarrassing yourself or maybe him? You couldn't find the reasoning for it anywhere inside of you, but this wouldn't be the first time that man did something you couldn't understand. 
The burning was back. You had an absentminded hand running over the spot on your belly and your feet carried you to the spot beside the fridge where the water bottles sat. You ‘d seen an electric kettle there and you busied yourself grabbing a mug and heating the water. Behind you, Kyungsoo was looking through the games again, trying to find something that he could no doubt destroy you with again. Your heart wasn’t in the fight this time, you felt too distracted. 
The water was heated and you poured some into a cup, finding that plain hot water always soothed your stomach the best and you returned to his side to peer over his shoulder holding your mug. 
He glanced over at you and down at the mug, making no comment about either, and then he held up a game. It was your game. It was the first game, a word game you’d picked to play with a nostalgic and hopeful glint in your eye. 
“We can play this one, if you want,” he said with a bit of a whisper as if you two weren’t the only ones in this entire building, “it’s still fun even with only two people.”
You nodded and took a seat near him but not close enough so he could cheat and look at your letters and he quietly set up the game, not once looking directly at your face for too long apart from the smallest of brushes with his eyes into yours as he handed you bits and pieces for the game. 
You settled into your seat and took a good long look at the letters you had to pick from, picking a few up and shuffling them to see if you could come up with something good and after a few moments you settled on something that was actually pretty decent, especially for the first round. The realization pulled a small smile to your face and you grabbed the letters to place them on the board. He’d already told you that you could go first and as you began placing your tiles on the board you looked up to find that he was watching you, of course he was; you were playing the first word. This word would determine what he could or couldn’t play from his letters. 
You played your word and did the math, giving yourself a nice start with 20 points and you wrote down the number on the pad of paper and looking up at him expectantly. You had expected him to be paying attention to the word, to be impressed by your intelligence. You had managed to spell that word on your very first go. You had expected him to feel thoroughly challenged by the force he had to reckon with. 
He sat there though, his eyes watching you but something about his mind seemed disconnected from the game. Your smile at your own move slipped just a little bit, falling flat because he hadn’t even looked at the word you played yet. He just sat there with his shoulders relaxed, his unshuffled letters sitting there in front of him, he didn't even have his fingers on them, rearranging and thinking as you would have expected. He just sat there -- it was odd. You lifted your chin and wiggled your head, lifting your eyebrows and you heard an inhale as he took a deep breath and exhaled as he slowly pushed the air through his lips and when he was empty his eyes closed up. He gave his head a little shake back and forth and finally, finally his eyes left your face. 
Finally he was looking down. 
“Oh you played that, hmm,” you heard him mumble and he was back. All at once, his fingers were touching lightly over his letters, picking some up, moving them, shoving some aside, actually thinking about the game in front of him instead of whatever in the world he had been so distracted by. 
You lifted your mug and took a sip, feeling the warmth of the hot water warm the inside of your stomach a little bit. The pain was still there even after another sip and you looked down at the mix of letters you had thinking of what word you might play next. You adjusted your posture some, lifting a hand to rub just below your breastplate again, wishing that knot would just go down and be done so you could win this game already. 
Kyungsoo had played his word, counted out his points, and wrote a sad little 16 under his name. You were already winning. The self-satisfied smile was back, it had replaced the wince on your face when you realized you already had your next word. You played it quickly and tallied up your numbers. 24 -- He really didn’t stand a chance. 
You heard the scrape of chair legs and the sound pulled your attention up to the man who was standing up and walking away from you toward the kitchen cabinets at the back wall. 
“It’s your turn, Kyungsoo,” you called toward his retreating back. 
“I know, I’m just getting something real quick,” he called without looking back at you and you heard him inside the fridge, heard him pulling something out and he was slicing something with a knife on a board. The kettle was going again and you heard a metal spoon hitting porcelain as he stirred something into a cup. 
He was back quickly with two mugs in his hand and when he returned to your side he’d place one of the mugs in front of you. 
The color of the water inside the cup was a pale yellow and you saw a single disc of sliced ginger floating on the surface. You could see the string and tab from a tea bag in his mug. 
“Honey and ginger,” he said as he busied himself with playing a word on the board game, “for your stomach,” he added as if you’d made an announcement at the start of your game that your stomach was hurting and he was just responding to that. 
You hadn’t said a single thing to him about it. In fact, you had thought you were doing a pretty good job hiding it from him. You hadn’t let him see you frown or groan or cry out in pain once. The worst you did was lightly massage the space where it hurt the most. 
You lifted his offering to your lips and took a sip expecting it to be too hot for you to drink comfortably and finding the temperature rather mild actually. You took another bigger sip and felt the soothing warmth slip into you. It was sweet with the honey he added and slightly spicy from the fresh ginger he’d added. It was delicious. You’d never tried this for your stomach aches before but it seemed to actually be helping. You took another sip and swallowed, finding that the burning lessened with each sip you took. 
Kyungsoo silently played a word and you watched his mouth moving as he added up his points and wrote down his score of 20. 
You smiled widely. He had just played the letter you needed to play your next word and with the orientation of the word you would be able to get the bonus points. You were already laying your letters out on the board and counting out your points before he’d even had a chance to replace the letters he’d used on the last word. 
“Oh come on, what? You gotta give me a chance to catch you,” he groaned in annoyance that didn’t really seem to sink too deep into him for him to really mean it. You could still see the smile on the edges of his mouth and in his eyes. You did a little victory wiggle in your seat, wrote down 50 points under your name, and even stuck your tongue out at him with a giggle. His eyes slipped down your face and his lips had been pulled into a smile, despite the fact that he was losing this game miserably. 
He pulled his head back a little bit and looked up into the air above his head. A quick glance at his pieces told you he still needed to replace letters and so you held up the bag with the open end toward him. He was still sulking about the heavy blow and you had to reach out to touch your fingertips over the back of his warm hand to get his attention. You gave the bag a little shake and you had his eyes in yours again as he reached into the bag, pulling out tiles and groaning at the letters the universe had decided to give him. 
“Ugh,” he was groaning with each new letter he pulled out. His eyes darted over the game board and occasionally slipped back up into yours, probably because you had been watching him for signs that he had something good to play. It didn’t seem like he did. 
“Blegh,” he made a disgusted sound,  complaining again. “What am I going to do? What do I do, what do I do?” he repeated to himself as he pondered his brand new fate as a loser of this game. 
In his hand, he held only two tiles and he hovered lightly over a space on the board. You giggled when he set them down. It was the saddest word you’d seen in a while. 
“You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to beat me, Kyungsoo,” you sing-songed playfully watching him spell out the word ‘SEE’ for only 5 points.
His hand moved and he spun his letters around, showing you very quickly the hand he had. You saw a slew of vowels, mostly the letter E and everyone’s least favorite burden a single solitary X. 
You were openly laughing at him now. His cheeks were pink and he was reaching into the bag to select his replacement letters and when he pulled them out he tossed them in disgust. They both landed flat on the table, face up with a clatter. He had thrown them there. You looked down to see two more Es and the sight threw you back into a noisy fit of laughter that seemed to be catching. You could hear him giggling beside you and he gripped the Es in his fingertips and tried to put them back into the bag. You snatched it up quickly and held the bag of letters out of his reach so he couldn't cheat and put them back in. 
“No no,” you gasped through the giggles, “Think of words with lots of Es like meet, umm, teeth, f-feet,” you said through a strained voice and you were laughing again at the look he shot you at the mention of the words that brought up a very recent sore memory for him. 
“Teeth and feet?” He said with his eyes wide, “You really brought that up again?” He exhaled through his teeth, his lips pulled wide in frustration. He was leaning now, reaching desperately past your game pieces to where you still kept the bag of letters out of his reach to keep him from cheating, even though you were pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to catch up with you even if he replaced all of his letters now. He had scooted his chair closer to you and you reached for his desperate hand, gripping around his fingers and pulling his hand down into your lap, holding it tightly there and leaning into him to help you gain some leverage against him. He was quite strong when he wanted to be but he seemed to be letting you hold him back like this. He definitely wasn’t putting his all into this struggle against you. Something was off with him. Kyungsoo had never held back on that chance to be terrible with you before. 
Instead, he had moved in too close to you and after the small playful struggle, you felt the warmth of him all over you. You had been giggling as he reached out with his other hand, reaching again for the bag of letters you held out of his reach and you felt the tips of his fingers wrap around your wrist and he pulled your arm down. It was a bit of a stalemate and you heard the soft laughter from him settle and go curiously still, when you opened your eyes you found his face in front of yours. You had his hand inside of yours down on your lap right over your thigh and he held your other hand with his fingers wrapped tightly around your wrist.  You hadn’t expected this level of closeness from him, the shock you felt radiating through your chest had taken the laughter out of your voice and left you stunned in a frozen silence instead. 
You suddenly felt hyper-aware of your own body. He was so close to you, that you wondered if he was able to hear how noisily your heart was pounding inside of your chest, or if he could hear the stuttered way your breathing moved in and out of your lungs. 
God, he was beautiful up close. His skin was clear and he had a scattering of tiny moles all over. The small freckle in his upper lip seemed to have a presence all of its own and you struggled to look away from him. Your eyes roamed over the length of his face. He had long since stopped laughing and he had even stopped reaching for the bag, stopped struggling against your hands and he was watching you with slow blinking wandering eyes over your face that seemed to settle again heavy and deep inside of your eyes. 
You exhaled a breath you had been holding through your parted mouth and his eyes slipped down to look at your mouth when you moved. This was something. Something was happening here. Something that shouldn’t exist with the intense animosity he’s always felt for you. Something between you and something between him. You could feel it in the way your skin flushed, the blood in your body seemed to seek refuge in some place that wasn’t in your veins. You found it difficult to breathe with him so close and those eyes of his didn’t let up, they didn’t let you go, you felt so much more trapped here in his eyes than ever before. Your ears picked up on the smallest grunt of effort from somewhere in the back of his throat, then the smallest inhale of breath lifted his lungs, and finally, finally, he closed his eyes.
“I think I’ve lost this game,” he whispered through closed eyes with a sudden tight clench of his jaw. 
He was leaning. He was moving. You watched the sway of his balance and he moved closer to you, impossibly closer and the fingers he’d wrapped around your wrist released their hold, that hand was moving. You felt the first tiny touches of his fingertips as he moved his hand to touch your face lightly and achingly slowly along your jawline. You felt as if you could burst into flames at any second and judging by the heavy puffs of air that left his lungs, something similar was happening to him too. 
He leaned into you, close enough for a kiss but something stopped him. You felt and saw the lean though. He pulled back half a centimeter and it felt like he was at war with himself. 
You watched his face as he did it. His eyes, he kept them closed up as tightly as he could and the hard clench of his jaw did not let up. 
He was touching you though. His hand had moved and his thumb brushed lightly over your bottom lip and his fingertips dug in behind your ear. His other hand, the one that you held in your lap had moved too and you felt a squeeze from his fingers as he clenched tightly around your hand. 
Everything about him was tense. His jaw, his hands, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. 
This man was very purposefully attempting to regain control of himself and resist whatever it was he was feeling by being this close to you, by you touching him, and by him touching you. Your own self-control felt thready. How easily you could snap in two. How flimsy your resolve had grown around him. 
You’d long since dropped the bag of letters. You felt the need for the warmth of his soft skin under your fingertips. So you reached for his face, delighting in wonder at the smoothness your fingertips traveled over, even with the hard clench of his jaw he felt so warm and inviting and he was still so very close to you. He smelled so good, it was overwhelming. You wanted him. 
He was so very close; close enough for you to feel every quick burst of air that came from his nose against your lips, close enough for you to so easily lean your face into his and press your lips up against the softness of his mouth.
So you did it, you did it -- you leaned into him and you kissed him on the lips, relishing in the softness you felt when his lips gave into yours so, so easily, it seemed to come like second nature when you had actually worked up the nerve to do it. 
There were almost imperceivable changes in him when you did it; when you kissed him. The hard clench in his jaw let up with the soft grunt of surprise that came from the back of his throat and in his hands; the loosening of the tight grip he held you with on your face as he simply let go of you entirely for the first few seconds of this kiss from you. 
The next change was less subtle, you felt the careful way he caved to your lips. The tilt of his head paired with the parting of his jaw and he leaned into you further, pulling your soft bottom lip into his mouth then pulling you again, your upper lip. When he moved again you felt the tip of his wet tongue guide along your teeth and reach for yours with that same suction he had pulled against you which you gave to him, giving him what he wanted, feeling very much out of control now with greedy the way he sucked on your tongue. The kiss was too much in an instant. The undeniable attraction you felt for this man had taken every bit of rational thought and tossed it out the window, carrying them all away with the wind outside. 
His mouth and teeth and tongue nipped inside of your mouth, pulling at your lips and he was moving, peppering tiny kisses, bites, and nibbles along your jawline as he moved lower to taste the skin below your ear. 
You reached for him again, reaching a hand forward for his waist and lower, you’d lost your mind when you touched near his belt, slipping the tips of your fingertips in between the denim fabric and feeling along the elastic waistband of his underwear. Feeling the very clear bump of his arousal and the warmth of his skin there.
His hand flew up to stop you and you heard the soft groan that came from his chest against his will. You could feel your labored breathing taking your chest and heaving it up and you shook your head back and forth at the nerve he had to stop you. You wanted him, you wanted the sex. You were beginning to feel desperate for him. 
Kyungsoo leaned his forehead against yours and his hands now had a strong ironclad grip on your wandering hands. You felt the very slight movement of his face back and forth. 
No. 
He was telling you no. 
You had to take a genuine moment to absorb it. He was telling you no. You closed your eyes and inhaled a deep breath and you inhaled the no, the refusal, the rejection took its time coming at you slowly in a big old sluggish wave and your breathing was beginning to calm down now. 
“Kyungsoo?” You called out lightly, feeling just a bit upset and even more confused as to why he would have kissed you back so intensely if he didn’t want this. 
“I,” he opened his mouth and pulled his head back, “I don’t—” his words were broken, staggered, and fractured, “I couldn’t live with myself.”
“You don’t want me like that.” It wasn’t a question. You weren’t asking him a damn thing. It was a stark realization that you had simply misread his actions as affection. 
“I don’t mean that,” he began, his voice clearer and with slightly more urgency than the staggered speech from earlier, he inhaled and swallowed, licking his lips as his eyes searched over your face. 
“I don’t do that lightly,” he exhaled and furrowed his brows, narrowing his eyes and looking into your face again, “I’ve never slept with someone outside of a relationship. I don’t do it. This can’t happen. We aren’t going to have sex.” 
He had released his tight grip on your hands now that his reasoning was out and you sat there feeling just a little bit foolish for having jumped so quickly straight to sex. You felt the embarrassment hit you hard and you closed your eyes through it and shook your head, straightening your back and removing your hands from within his fingers and pulling them back toward you as you carefully busied yourself with straightening your shirt back out. This felt awful. You reached down for the mug with the now cold ginger honey water and you downed the remains quickly, hoping that some of that sweet honey might coat your insides and soothe your fractured ego while it was at it. 
You felt the softness of his hand land over yours when you put the mug back down and you looked down at it, his hand covering over yours. You could feel it then, he was asking you to look at him. You had been embarrassed by the rejection and had been busying yourself with literally anything that wasn’t him. He’d given you time to process it and to get yourself under control before calling your attention again with the softest and most gentle pull of just the warmth of his hand on yours. You signed deeply, willing all of that oxygen to fill your lungs and power your brain well, and after what felt like several inescapable seconds passed you looked up into his face. 
He was watching you, no words on his lips and a slow and steady blinking of his eyes.
You swallowed before you spoke, “I get it,” you said plainly, biting down on your lip once before you continued, “I understand. You don't sleep around. I sleep around. You and I aren’t the same.” 
His lips parted and his eyes rolled over his face once before they sank back down heavy inside of yours. He inhaled a breath, clearly ready to counter your words. You knew you were misinterpreting his meaning. It wasn't even as if he’d called you a slut or anything, but goddammit that recent discovery of his. Him having found your 20-pack of condoms in your bag; you couldn't help but compare them to the single 5-pack he brought which he probably never even had any intention of using in the first place when you had every intention of using some of those condoms on this retreat. You would be goddamned if you didn’t get laid at least once on this trip. It had been so long for you, that you needed something from someone that made you feel desired and attractive to another human being. 
“You know,” he was speaking, his eyes had drifted closed and he was having trouble getting the words out again. Maybe he was about to tell you he was on his way to pray for your forgiveness for being such a slut. 
“You already know how I feel about you,” he whispered and pulled his eyes open. 
You looked at his face for a moment before your eyes wandered over the space above his head; giving the smallest head shake as a reply. Not really. He hated you for one minute. He laughed at you and teased you another minute. He made you ramen and tasty honey tea to soothe your upset stomach and beat you mercilessly at Monopoly but his cold hard facade fell apart when you teased him back. He was a mystery to you, whenever you thought you had figured something out about him, he would pull out the rug from under you and swear that no matter how desperate you were for it he would specifically not ever sleep with you. You felt that same familiar pain in your stomach flare up again. You hissed through it and inhaled a small gasp, doing your best to keep your reaction under wraps. 
His eyes narrowed and he dropped his chin, “you must know,” he said again, “you already know.” 
You must have flinched somewhere in your face. Those knowing eyes of his caught it and his head ticked as his eyes moved over you again. 
“How could I know anything?” You were beginning to feel like you should go lie down. You even felt a tiny bit dizzy the more you stayed here just withstanding this. Maybe a warm shower would help. 
“Sara told you. You know everything.” he threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling above his head. He had a sort of exasperated expression on his face now and you tried to focus on this conversation but you’d already been through enough of it. 
What had Sara told you? She had been so excited about every little interaction between the two of you that her words had been too exaggerated and overly dramatic to be able to trust what she said. Your mind flew through her words to you about him. About him saying how pretty you were. So what if you were pretty. The man hated you. He hated you. Her words, were a distant memory now even though it had only been a couple of hours since she said them. 
‘The way he looks at you -- If I didn't know that he was desperately in love with you, I’d think he was trying to set you on fire with his eyes -- he was desperately in love with you -- he is desperately in love with you.’
It was impossible. Sara was wrong. This man did not love you. He couldn’t love someone like you. 
Doh Kyungsoo had just rejected you for the third time now. The first when he stood you up on the date, leaving you to stew in the rejection, publicly calling you out amongst your best friends about it, basically ridiculing you again and again for your stupidity; how dare you really think someone like him could ever actually be interested in someone like you. The second rejection was shallower, the way he treated you when he found out you were here with him. You had the audacity to show up here and play pretend like you belonged here beside him; going so far as to reject even your offer of friendship, the lowest form of acquaintance and even that he didn't want. And now, reminding you of just how little he thought of you. 
He didn’t sleep with people he wasn’t in a relationship with. You’d offered yourself so easily to the man, practically begged for it but again, you received another rejection. 
Wasn't there a point in which you should give up on this? 
“I don't know anything, Kyungsoo. I don't even know you, remember? We never really even met each other.” You said it with such finality that his lips closed up and he pulled his head back. He seemed taken aback by the force with which you said those words to him. You stood up, done with this. There was only so much you could take. That surprised look on his face from earlier had flattened out and he was staring ahead of himself, not looking up at you. 
You stood there looking down at him for much longer than your pride should have allowed. Watching him staring ahead of himself with his silent lips and his bright red ears, his chest heaving up and down as if all of the emotions bubbling just below the surface of him could ever presume to break through that thick outer shell of a man who keeps everything inside when he should have just let it out. Goddammit Kyungsoo. But he wouldn’t move. He wouldn’t explain and he sure as hell wasn’t about to try any more than absolutely necessary with you. You’d been the one to put yourself out there again and again for this man. You felt let down. 
“I’m going to shower and lie down for a while.” 
You took the first steps to leave, to walk past him and you’d made it three whole steps toward the door when you felt the warmth and strength of his hand wrapped tightly around your wrist, pulling you back. He pulled you back roughly. You had been moving forward with such a momentum that the break in your stride caused you to stumble backward and you yelped out in surprise finding yourself pulled into him, pulled to where he still sat uselessly in that chair and the rough yank on your wrist sent you moving until you collided with a resisting barrier.
You stumbled on your feet and you bounced against him and the second you collided with him you felt the strength of his arms wrapping tightly around your waist. You felt the push of his firm chest hit against your thighs and in your belly you felt the point of his nose as he buried his entire face within your shirt, just below your ribs deep, within the softness of your belly. It tickled uncomfortably but you felt too stunned to do anything. You looked down in shock, seeing only the top of his head, his soft black hair fell into the fabric of your shirt and from his mouth somewhere you heard the softest moan that reverberated through your body. 
For lack of anywhere else to put them you rested your hands on his shoulders and you heard and felt him make another sound, a rough growl from his chest sounded out into your skin, buzzing into the skin of your stomach and his hands around your waist tightened to uncomfortable levels. He inhaled a deep breath from somewhere in the center of you and you found some semblance of some words to say. 
“Kyungsoo, what,” you began but his hot exhale warmed you on the exit and sent goosebumps cascading down your spine, taking whatever words you thought you could speak. After several breaths he lifted his face, propping his chin right against your skin to look up into your stunned and confused face. 
“What are you doing?” you managed. You felt too blindsided for more.
“Get to know me then,” he whispered up into the air and you wiggled against the tightness you felt in his arms matching the crazed look you saw in his eyes. He did not loosen them any, “get to know me, until you understand how I feel about you.” 
This didn’t feel real. It was impossible that this was happening. Was he serious? 
Your mind was spinning. You couldn’t reconcile the two versions of Doh Kyungsoo you were witnessing. The desperate way he clung to you told you one thing and yet, so much bad had already happened to tell you the complete opposite. This version clearly hadn't listened to a damn thing the other one had just told you. This one didn’t know about the no sex before commitment rule, the one that had his chance and squandered it, humiliating you in the process. But as tightly as you were wound here within his arms; you could feel your body responding to him all over again. You’d already been too affected by him before.
His eyes were looking up at you and you could just barely make out the tiny pout on his lips that was hiding within the fabric. 
Maybe he was drunk. Maybe that mug he had been sipping from had been full of whiskey instead of tea and this man was off his head right now. 
“What are you talking about?” 
He was moving with the question you hung into the air above his head. You could feel the slow way he moved his face, pressing himself against the softness of your belly again, breathing you in slowly and deeply as if every bit of sanity had simply left his body and this was a madman whose only purpose was to drive you as crazy as he was. 
“You know for someone who doesn’t want to fuck me, you are doing a terrible job of letting me leave this room.” 
Your own bluntness surprised you but you’d expected him to wake the hell up and release you so you could go take care of this problem he’d caused. 
“I never said I don’t want to fuck you.” He whispered it with his face hidden deep within the skin of your belly but the words echoed inside of you, hitting you hard with their heavy impact. 
The man was a menace. He’d just turned you down only to do this to you? You felt so turned on you almost couldn’t keep upright.  
You braced both of your hands on his shoulders and you pushed against him hard, pushing your hips backward too until he got the message and loosened his hold around you. The release allowed you to take a step back. His hands still lingered around you and you even felt one of his hot palms lying right over your ass, having slipped down from your waist he didn’t seem to be in too big of a hurry to take his wandering hands off of you. 
“Sorry, sorry,” his immediate apology told you that he knew exactly what sins he had committed against you, “I’m not in my right mind.”
You reached behind you and grabbed his hand off of your ass and brought it back around, dropping it down on his own lap. It landed with a flop in his lap and his eyes pulled deservedly down as he took on a much more sheepish expression in his face. You couldn’t tell if it was genuine. 
“You say one thing and do another, Doh Kyungsoo.”  
You felt ready to snap. “You say we won’t have sex, and that’s fine. I’m fine with that,” you said through wild eyes and even though you managed to get the words out, it felt like a lie. You weren’t fine with that. This hot piece of ass needed to figure himself out and in a hurry because you weren’t sure how much more of his torture you could take. 
“You seem fine with it,” you heard him mumble under his breath and your eyes widened as you lifted your eyebrows and looked at him. He lifted a hand and waved it lightly, “Sorry, continue.” 
“I was fine with it until you,” you lifted your arms and wrapped them around your body, doing a speed-run pantomime of him grabbing you around the waist, hugging you tightly and you even ran your fingers over the entire length of his face lightly, jumping back in pure frustration, “did all that to me, Kyungsoo. What the fuck?” 
The man who sat in front of you with his forearms crossed strategically over his lap ‘just so’ dared to smile at you. It was a tiny smile but you lifted a finger and pointed right at his face with a frustrated gasp. Again his smile, impossibly, widened.
“I am going to go take a shower. And I am going to lie down.” These words came out in a low growl. “I better not see you standing at that bathroom doorway.”
You’d spun on your heels for the second time to walk away from this man and you nearly screamed when you felt his hand reach for you again. This time he was standing up and you lifted your own hand in an 'I swear to god, give me a reason’ pose, enjoying how quickly he flinched away from you. 
“Wait, wait” he quickly spoke, not wanting to get smacked. You decided then and there that you weren’t above doing it. The memory of last night's tit punch was still fresh in your mind and you were feeling almost crazy enough to do it. 
“Just wait, goddammit,” he had the nerve to sound annoyed. He actually reached up and grabbed your raised hand and carefully brought it back down. “Come back later. Later tonight, give me like two hours maybe.” 
“What happens in two hours?” your eyes narrowed and your lips pouted just a little bit with the suggestive tilt of your head as your mind whirled through the possibilities. Did he just need two hours to decide that maybe you were worth a round or 20 of pressing your back into your mattress, or maybe his mattress? Hell, four mattresses were lying over there on the floor where the movies had been showing, you were not that picky. Literally this table here would suffice. Your face must have betrayed your filthy thoughts because he squeezed your hand and you heard a tiny laugh break free from him. 
He was laughing through his words, “Dinner. Just dinner with me. God, will you relax, please?”
His proposal sounded promising. Your eyebrows were lifted in curiosity without you even realizing it you eked out a tiny question for him.
“Like…a dinner date?” This sent a strange wave of panic through you. The tiny smile on his face and the little hum he made as a response sent butterflies flying. You felt at odds with the strange burst of nerves. The idea of having an actual date with this man was, well — you’d never once considered a re-do with him. Back then you’d been so offended, so humiliated, and so angry that the last thing you wanted was to give him a second chance. After a while, you’d even run out of any desire for him to explain himself for what he did back then. 
Perhaps a make-up for that botched blind date all those months ago that started all of this trouble was the kind of thing your heart craved deep down inside. You suddenly felt nervous. Sex was one thing but a date with him? Sex was just physical but starting this over again, a date with Kyungsoo felt too vulnerable. Why was that so much scarier to you? 
What if he didn’t show up? 
Wait, he was trapped here and he was the one doing the cooking. Plus if he didn't show up, you knew where you could find him. You’d beat down the door and kick his ass as long as he was hiding away in one of the rooms here that didn't have any spiders. 
His eyebrows lifted and the smile he was wearing on his lips was gone. 
“You don’t want to?” He asked the question and left his lips hanging open. You could see on his face that despite the false bravado he wore when he proposed the date, to begin with, he also was feeling a lot of the same nerves about it that you felt. His focus on your face was flighty, not quite able to commit to solid eye contact with you with this heavy question handing in the air like this. 
“Okay,” you finally answered in a whisper and you closed up your mouth and nodded your head up and down twice. 
Kyungsoo’s eyes watched your face and you caught him mirroring the same head nod. “Okay,” he also whispered. 
You nodded again and he was quiet as he looked at you, eventually looking away from you and looking around the kitchen space with a small exhale of air through his mouth. He didn’t move, but what was even worse was that you also did not move. You weren’t sure how to do it.
Oh. Oh no. Oh no this was awkward. Did you just say goodbye and walk away? Did you give him, like, a high five or maybe lean into him for a hug, God that would be terrible, Imagine? A hug, thanks buddy, thanks pal, thanks for letting me make out with you, sorry to freak you out when I got too into it and touched your boner because apparently that is a no-touchy zone, I did not get the memo about the boner. Should you lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek? How did you leave this situation with at least one-fourth of your dignity, an acceptable amount for someone with your history of humiliating yourself, still intact? 
The kiss on the cheek might be okay, right? His cheeks were soft and his skin was smooth. You took the smallest step into him and you leaned in for it, but oh god, he was moving already. You leaned at the exact same moment that he spun around on his feet and began to walk away from you toward the doorway that led toward the bunk beds, which would have been completely fine except for the fact that he had seen you beginning to lean into him right before he moved. He had seen you move, he had seen you lean, but his feet had already stepped, his body had already begun the exit process and what resulted was a terrible, awful, awkward time in which he stopped walking abruptly and turned back around to face you, halfway toward the doorway, stuck somewhere in the middle of this kitchen with him again facing you and neither of you wanting to explain to each other with words why the journey to the exit had been halted so abruptly. 
“No,” you shook your head back and forth. His face was pink again. “No, just go. You already ruined it.” 
“What were you going to do?” 
“Doesn't matter. It’s over.” You sidestepped him and moved quickly through the space, placing your handle on the kitchen door and pulling it open. You hurled yourself into the darkness of the hallway, feeling just a tiny bit of irritation at the realization that you could still hear the sound of his footsteps very clearly. He hadn’t stayed behind in that kitchen but he seemed to be following you down the hallway toward the room with your bunks. 
“You were leaning, what were you leaning for?” 
“Why are you following me? I have things to do. Alone, Kyungsoo.” You emphasized the last bit while looking directly into his eyes and he was fighting his smile a little but he didn’t seem to stop following you until you reached the door to the bunks and stopped to look at him with your hand on the door handle. 
“I just need to get my bag. Then you can have the place to yourself.” He was already pushing past you, rushing through the room toward the bed in the back and he was grabbing a black duffel that he slung over his shoulder and he made quick work of the distance with his quick walking reaching the space in the doorway that you still occupied in no time. 
When he was back at your side you moved inside the room to give him room for his exit but before he disappeared through the doorway you caught an abrupt shift in his balance. When he was close enough he leaned into you and pressed his soft lips against your cheek, lingering against your skin for one second too long before he pulled back again and looked into your eyes. Admittedly, you hadn’t expected that at all and you had closed your eyes halfway through the lingering part and you had to act quickly to open your eyes up in time so as not to miss the smoldering look part. 
“Now, wouldn’t that have been awkward to do back in the kitchen when I was going to come all the way over here the whole time?” 
You’d opened your mouth and inhaled a breath to respond to him. You would have lied and told him that you weren’t going to kiss him in the kitchen, or that he was imagining things again, or maybe you would lie and say you took it back and you didn’t want to have sex with him ever. He had already disappeared and the heavy door slammed shut before you had a chance to think of a clever comeback. 
Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
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porto-rosso · 21 days ago
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olly you should tell us ur vision for the cassie solo, im on the edge of my seat
hi thank you for asking!! sorry for taking so long to reply. long post so its going under a cut
starting off what i really want for cassie is essentially a unique position within the dc universe. at the minute there are 3 wonder girls in the comics (hesitantly could include donna since she's appeared semi-recently as wonder girl in world's finest as well) so for character longevity's sake she really needs to find her own niche. additionally, having her just take up a new hero name feels stale and doesn't really separate her from any other ww character enough to give writers in the future a reason to use her. disclaimer everything i'm about to lay out is very pick and choose with what nu52-present storylines i'm using as canon.
the solo starts with Cassie en route to themyscira. she's kind of tried a year of uni but wasn't really interested in it and socially was still having trouble with the lack of a secret identity. she's not planning on staying in themyscira too long, kind of a gap year situation? just to hone some combat skills, rethink her place as a hero, general soul searching.
through some sequence of events cassie ends up taking up an apprenticeship with one of the amazon's blacksmiths (welcome back Io). keeping with the greek mythology aspect of the amazons, the first arc of this solo follows a 12 labours of hercules format where each issue follows a specific task cassie has been set as part of her apprenticeship. (also means we can get a few young justice cameos for tasks that take her off themyscira)
on the character arc side of things, i think cassie is super in denial about how happy she is with herself. through the arc, i've got the idea that she slowly starts presenting more masculine under the excuse of it being 'more convenient' (first big change, for instance, could be cutting her hair as keeping it tied up for metalworking all the time is annoying). Through a mixture of spending time in an environment mostly free from patriarchal influence (Io being a butch woman in a relationship with another woman is super relevant here) and just undeniably feeling more comfortable with the presentation changes, she gradually comes to understand that being a tomboy when she was younger wasn't something she needed to fix. (<- undecided on this specific way of telling it though because honestly i'd like her to have a bit of a breakdown and cut her hair then. for drama)
first arc ends with her completing her apprenticeship and still feeling a bit lost but much, much more secure in her sense of self. from here, it'd follow her moving back to gateway city and setting up kind of a magical weapons specialty shop, with the idea being that when problems arise in other books to do with magic weaponry/armor/ect cassie can appear and help for the issue (think how when there's a demon problem its highly likely jason blood will show up).
basically it all boils down to giving cassie some long overdue development and a unique skillset! love her character very much lol
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mrabubu · 2 months ago
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I know we've seen bits and pieces of Ana's life as a kraang but what about her before turning into a kraang? Like what's her family situation? Does she has siblings? Neighbours she's closed with?
Had she ever went on adventures like April with the turtles? If ana & April were in the same school, did she met draxum as the lunch lady? How did she felt about him then? When casey JR met Ana from the past what did he felt about her?
And did how did Ana helped in the movie where the hamatos were fighting back? After the movie, was she hurt or helped taking care of the turtles?
Sorry for asking too much it's just sometimes am getting this burst of energy to ask questions about your AU 🙏🏼
Nah, it's okay, you're good ~ So, I've been having some ideas on Ana before she was kraangified, and maybe some of the details are my projection, but there's other character's I've been inspired with.
This post turned out to be long, so, yeah... But if you have any more questions, I'm like, totally ready to answer.
I'll go with more simple questions first:
Adventures with the turtles:
I had an idea that maybe it was Leo who was dragging her out on adventures. I thought of a different scenario with that episode when Leo accidentally teleported others somewhere, but before going to Hueso he would go to Ana and drag her out just not to be alone in this.
Ana and Draxum:
I never actually thought about Ana meeting Draxum, but now I kinda imagine there would be a joke about how Ana sneaks up on people unintentionally, especially Draxum because he thought she was unremarkable and he wasn't really paying much attention to her, and he would go like "Were you standing here this whole time?".
Ana and Casey Jr.:
With the story I have in my head, Ana and Leo were reunited after or not long before Cassandra died, so Ana became someone like a mother figure to Casey Jr, and considering Ana died in the future not long before the events of the movie, I feel like Casey would try to suppress his emotions towards her, and definitely would try to hide the details of what happened to Ana in the bad future timeline. But he would definitely be happy to see her, and if going with the movie, in the end he would finally let himself relax around her, knowing she'll be alright, alive and not kraangified, embracing her for the first time since he got into the past.
Ana during the events of the movie:
So, I think this would be strongly connected to the end of the season 2, because I had this idea that Ana, unlike April, didn't have much strength to fight, so Leo left her with Tod while him, April and others went to fight Shredder. This made Ana felt useless and helpless. During the movie, I thought that she would be helping people in the city. She was unable to fight the Kraang, but she tried to help people by leading them away from the war zone. I'm not sure what big moment to add here, but at the time I think that aside from bruises and small cuts she was okay, and, yes, was definitely helping the turtles to heal. Maybe even in the end of the movie it would be her and Leo's moment, when she would tell him about how useless she felt and how scared she was when Leo almost got trapped in the prison dimension, and he would reassure her that she did an amazing job by helping people in the city. And about him almost being gone, I think this would actually be their big moment when he would openly tell her he loves her. Like, before he didn't tell her this like that, but after almost, well, dying, he wouldn't want to waste a single moment with her.
Okay, now to Ana and her family:
At first I thought of Ana being just a normal, shy girl with a normal family, but, uuuh, I also thought it's kinda boring and lacks some depth, so, here's some of my ideas.
I never saw her having any siblings, so, she's the only child.
Her situation in her family is not as ideal as it could be. I didn't want to go with this cliche of one of her parents being dead, so they were both alive, but mostly they lived together more like neighbors rather than a family. I also thought of Ana feeling kinda like a burden to her family. She's calm, shy and quiet girl, doesn't have any special talents or big ambitions rather than taking photos (yeah, I've decided she liked to take pictures).
After watching Dungeon Meshi and seeing this moment with Falin eating alone, I kinda took it as an inspiration for Ana's backstory. But in Ana's case it's more close to something like with Hanekawa from Monogatari series.
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If you know Hanekawa's story, you know the vibe/the idea. Ana and Kraang-chan are like Hanekawa and Black Hanekawa.
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With Ana it's not as bad as it was for Hanekawa, there was no abuse or anything, but some ideas of her usually wearing a facade to appear to be someone who she isn't is present. With Ana she's more suppressing her emotions, even to the point she's ashamed of them. She feels lonely and detached from others but tries to make it look like she's fine with it, but there are still moments when her frustration is too much to handle, but even then she didn't ask for help, but more took it on herself.
I redrew a moment from The Boy and the Heron.
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Oh boy, I hope I didn't miss anything.
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firelxdykatara · 9 months ago
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I too ship Zutara and think they should have been canon. Although for me it's important to know how such a rewrite would go down. I tried to think, and I'm lost.
After Mai betrayed Azula for him, will he just go "sorry, not interested"? He isn't obligated to date her because of this, but her redemption hinges on Zuko and I don't see it being satisfying if he ends up rejecting her after this.
I thought the solution would be to rewrite her arc in boiling rock to make her have a moral realization, but then the problem with Maiko is practically solved. Their relationship wasn't salvaged by her redemption because last time they talked, Mai still didn't understand what's wrong with the Fire Nation and only changed because she loved Zuko. So how do you make it both satisfying & logical?
With Kataang the problem is the Chakras. The problem with the original (in my opinion) is that after he opened his chakra, letting go of his attachment to Katara, he's still attached (forcing a kiss on eip). Should TCoD get rewritten so that Azula shoots him before he opens it? Then why wouldn't he just open it later? Maybe the chakra would be locked so he feels as though he doesn't need to overcome his attachment just yet. In that situation, how would his chakra even unlock? The stone thing felt like nonsense, so how would I do it?
So yeah I have no idea how to approach this. How would you? (Thanks)
I've been rotating this ask in the back of my head like a rotisserie chicken for a few days--it's interesting because I don't generally stop to think like, how would I write them out of these relationships, I either ignore the relationships completely (which isn't hard, they were barely footnotes in the cartoon) or play a little bit with jealous exes or something. Thinking about like, In A Perfect World where Bryke wasn't in charge of ATLA post-canon (because if zutara had been canon, you can be sure they would've made us regret it) is interesting, and I do have thoughts on how I'd handle their relationships in a rewrite.
(this got long, so the rest is beneath the cut)
Assuming you mostly want to keep canon intact, I think maiko would be the easiest to work around, given how little relevance their relationship has in canon. The problem with maiko as an endgame ship is that it was not set up that way--if it had been, it would not have begun entirely off-screen and their whole relationship would not have been a study in misery and utter inability to connect emotionally. His relationship with Mai was there to showcase just how much he had changed and how little he fit into the life he had been so sure he wanted more than anything since his banishment. It worked very well to highlight Zuko's growth--how that contrasted to Mai's lack of it and why she could not understand him even at his most open and vulnerable--and did not work nearly so well when she was shoved back with him in the epilogue, after he'd quite literally forgotten her existence (he never mentions her again after Boiling Rock, not even to say a word of mourning, considering he'd have every reason to believe she was killed for defying his sister).
I don't think you can fix this by giving Mai some moral realization, because there simply is no room for it. As @araeph says in the essay I linked:
As a character, Mai is very useful to the story during Zuko’s return, because she represents everything that Zuko gains by sticking by his father. A girl who cares about him; the ability to indulge her; the authority he has over others at the palace; we see it all in his interactions with Mai. But this makes Mai a tether to a life he has long outgrown. Her function is not to advance Zuko’s character development, but to obstruct it, which also unfortunately means that Mai gaining a full understanding of Zuko’s trials would be disadvantageous to the story. If she knew everything about him and still wanted him to stay, it would give Zuko more cause than he should have to remain in the Fire Nation, but if she knew and encouraged him to leave and join the Avatar, it would rob Zuko of the triumph of making this decision on his own. In other words, there are good narrative reasons for keeping Mai in the dark; it just doesn’t make their relationship any stronger.
The seeds of a genuine redemption arc (one that includes some sort of moral realization and change to her moral framework) for Mai would have to have been planted far earlier than five episodes from the end of the series, but doing so would have of necessity detracted from Zuko's own character arc and the realizations that he makes despite his attachment to Mai (or more specifically to their relationship, which I feel like he was clinging to more out of a sense of abject loneliness he couldn't shake rather than genuine feelings and emotional connection).
So, in my mind, since we're tackling this with an eye towards getting rid of maiko with the fewest ripples to the overall story anyway, the easiest way to do this would be make one slight change to the end of the Boiling Rock two-parter--have Ty Lee (who had always been the least gung-ho of the trio about bowing to Azula's whims and had to be textually threatened into joining her in the first place) save Zuko's life, and then have Mai (who showed the most genuine affection for Ty Lee anyway) save Ty Lee. I love Zuko more than I fear you always fell flat for me as some epic declaration of love, anyway, since a) Zuko is not around to hear it, and b) unlike Ty Lee, she never showed much fear of Azula to begin with, so it wasn't a very high bar to clear. It was a cool line that was entirely unearned, and I don't think it would be missed, there would be some cute mailee crumbs this way, and a throwaway line of getting them released from the prison after the war ended could wrap up their presence in the story pretty nicely.
Now, kataang is a little trickier, if only because the last leg of Aang's character arc is almost completely derailed by his refusal to let go of his possessive attachment to Katara, to the point where he never naturally reopens his chakras, he has to have the Rock of Destiny hit him in just the right place, and the deus ex lionturtle there to give him a way out of having to make a hard moral choice. (I've maintained for years that if you work the final act of your main character's overall arc in such a way that it could have been solved by one good session with a chiropractor, something got fucked along the way.)
The thing about Aang's chakras is that, narratively, his whole thing with Guru Pathik and leaving his training early to save his friends was basically his version of Luke running away from his training with Yoda on Degobah because of his Force vision, only to find out that his friends were in the process of rescuing themselves and then losing his hand because he hadn't completed the most crucial part of his training. What's missing, therefore, from the last act of Aang's character arc, is the return.
See, in Star Wars, Luke pretty explicitly makes the wrong choice when he chooses to prioritize saving his friends over attaining enlightenment and fully mastering the Force. It was the only choice he could have made, but it was still the wrong one--because, like Aang, his friends did not actually need him to save them, he actually almost makes it harder for them to get away by requiring them to save him because, like Aang, he loses a battle in a very critical way. This was a lesson he desperately needed to learn, and it is clear he has learned it by the time he makes it back to Degobah and witnesses the end of Yoda's life, his own enlightenment having already been reached.
But Aang never goes back to the Guru.
And the text refuses to allow us to sit with the fact that he made the wrong choice in prioritizing his attachment to Katara over his ability to master the Avatar State. He is actually narratively vindicated about it, because the plot bends itself into a pretzel so that he doesn't have to spend any time during the last book trying to reopen his chakras and regain access to the Avatar State, handed both in the final battle with no excess effort on his part, and handed the girl into the bargain. (The girl who never even wanted him, so far as we can tell from all the lack of cues she gave him that she actually returned his feelings.)
And I think this could have been solved with a few scattered scenes. Let Katara actually have some agency in her own romantic relationship (or lack thereof), insofar as noticing Aang's advances and clueing the audience in to how she actually feels. Let Aang struggle with the fact that he can't reach the Avatar State, that his mastery of the elements is in limbo because he can't access his full power, rather than ignoring all of this until the end of the show. If we're trying to keep the shape of the last season roughly the same, let Katara confront Aang about the invasion kiss.
This would have been the perfect time to establish that Katara actually does feel some type of way about Aang prior to the epilogue, and it could have saved us from the exceedingly cringey EIP kiss that Aang never apologized for. How it comes across now, of course, is that Katara basically pretends it never even happened, to the point where she doesn't even know what Aang is talking about during EIP until he reminds her--the death knell for any shot their relationship had at looking requited, because I can tell you, as someone who's been a teenage girl, if someone I had conflicted but burgeoning romantic feelings for had kissed me, I would not have completely forgotten about it only a few weeks later--and we never get any indication as to what she actually felt about the kiss (which was not mutual, despite what Aang's dialogue in the EIP scene implies) except for the fact that she looked away and frowned afterwards. (A change mandated by Bryke, who wanted to leave her feelings completely ambiguous; the original storyboards had her smiling to herself.)
So, with an eye towards wrapping up Aang's puppy love crush and establishing Katara's distinct lack of romantic feelings for him, have her talk to him about the kiss. A good frame of reference for this would be Meng's conversation with Aang in "The Fortuneteller", where she finally realizes that he doesn't like her in the same way she likes him. Katara and Aang's conversation about the invasion kiss could be a callback to this, with Aang having some important realizations--that just because Katara doesn't share his feelings doesn't mean she loves him any less, and just because he can't have her the way he wanted doesn't mean he has to love her any less, that she doesn't belong to him but that's ok, because she's still his family and they'll always have each other's backs. Which could have functioned well in helping him take another step towards unblocking his chakras. Going back to the Guru directly may not have worked, since by this point in the story we're hurtling towards the final confrontation and Sozin's Comet, but let Aang reflect on what the Guru told him with new understanding granted him by his experiences throughout the first half of the season.
To keep the stakes high and up the suspense, obviously, he shouldn't have fully unlocked his chakras and the AS before the final fight, but the seeds could be planted--little moments like a talk with Katara about the invasion kiss, maybe a little more empathy and understanding from him about why Katara needs closure in TSR, etc--and then, during the final fight, rather than hand him all the answers on a silver platter, have him almost lose. He still can't go full Avatar, he's out of time, he still doesn't know exactly what to do about Ozai given his own pacifism and desire to preserve that part of his culture--he tries to fight but he's pretty quickly overpowered. Idk how I would've animated this, and maybe it wouldn't have looked as cool for the final fight, but the true climax of the finale was the Zuko and Azula agni kai anyway, so it hardly matters--I'm picturing him doing the rock-shield thing and going into a brief meditative state, where he finally achieves the enlightenment necessary to unlock the AS on his own, no rock of chiropracty necessary. And at this point, I'd give Ozai a Disney Death, since leaving him alive causes more problems than it solves and it's not necessary for Aang to kill him for him to die--they're fighting on a mountain ffs--but if you don't want to change that part then him figuring out energy bending as part of becoming a fully realized Avatar would at least feel more earned than the lionturtle just handing it to him. (And that could've been foreshadowed better by seeding the idea for it earlier in the season.)
After all of that, particularly if you up the emotions during the agni kai and have Zuko and Katara kiss there (or something less explicitly romantic but still tender, like a brief forehead touch), it'd feel pretty natural to have a just friends ending for Aang and Katara. Maybe a brief, slightly awkward but ultimately amiable conversation if Zuko and Katara had a ~thing at their final fight, and then the final shot of the series could be the gaang all together, maybe zutara holding hands or Katara resting her head on his shoulder or something, but since they already kissed there wouldn't feel like a need to end the whole show on romance, something which I've always felt missed the point of the series.
And then, y'know, after that, the world's your oyster! This is how I'd do it if I were trying to keep the bulk of the final season intact. Of course, breaking it all down to its component pieces and rebuilding from the ground up is also an option, but that'd probably be a longer post lol.
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xxlady-lunaxx · 6 months ago
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hello this is the anon who requested the kamado siblings + giyuu oneshot and may i just say
jdjdjejejwjwkwksjdjdjsjshdhdhdhhfhrjwjwjdhdhdbd omg i love it so much and i love hoe you write them so much
if you wouldnt mind may i request: tanjiro calling giyuu 'giyuu-nii-san!' or 'onii-san' for the first time which gives giyuu all the fuzzy feelings. nezuko also picks up on it. this then evolves to calling him 'nii-chan' which giyuu's poor heart cant take
imagine giyuu and tanjiro turning to answer nezuko when she says 'nii-chan!' (maybe she thinks of another nickname for giyuu)
sorry the sibling brainrot is brainrotting
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i love you soso much and i'm glad you liked the other one <3 btw i looked a little up and 'onii-san' is typically used by girl and 'nii-san' for boys (js a little headsup) takes place after Nezuko conquered the sun (bc how would she speak then) also there's no connection to this one to the last thing you req'ed :>
Truthfully, Tanjiro had been thinking about it for some time. It wouldn't really have come instinctively because he'd never called anybody it before. Nezuko would've been more likely to slip up. But Tanjiro's plan was to act as if he hadn't meant to say it and see how Giyuu felt about it. He didn't know how to breach the topic and he figured that an honest reaction from Giyuu was probably best, despite the Hashira's lack of ability to show emotions. If there was even the slightest flicker of distaste in those serious blue eyes, Tanjiro would simply apologize and hope Giyuu never brought it up again.
In the end, it did come out unintentionally. Perhaps because he had been mulling it over so much so that it became one of the first things to pop up in his mind when he saw Giyuu. But nevertheless, it simply... slipped out. The two had been talking in the Butterfly Estate as Tanjiro awaited Aoi's permission to go train. Nezuko was perched on the edge of the cot, resting her head on Tanjiro's shoulder and swinging her legs back and forth. Meaning to ask something, Tanjiro began to speak then quickly cut himself off when he realized what he'd said. "Ah! Giyuu-nii, I wa-..." He flushed, turning his head away and sinking down into the sheets, wishing they would envelop him.
There was a moment of silence, though Nezuko didn't seem to have noticed anything. Then Giyuu spoke, slowly, seeming mostly bemused. "What did you say?..."
Tanjiro bit his lip, peeking back up at him. Giyuu looked mostly confused, gazing at him curiously.
"I didn't mean to..."
"What was it you said?" Giyuu pressed, scooting closer on his chair.
"Eh... 'Giyuu-nii'..." Tanjiro mumbled. He wanted to look away, but equally wished to see Giyuu's reaction. To his surprise, it was a lot more expressive than the mild, maybe slight twitch of the lips that he had expected.
Giyuu, understanding now, had his eyes opened wide. "As- As in...?" He seemed very unsure of himself.
"...yes. I just- I see you like an older brother and I... It just slipped out," Tanjiro said quietly. Which was mostly true.
"Oh. Do I call you 'otōto' then?" Giyuu asked.
Tanjiro went to respond, then saw the amused smile that Giyuu was barely supressing and burrowed his face in the blankets. "Wahh, I didn't mean to, I swear!" he said, wallowing in his embarrassment.
"It's... okay," Giyuu assured him. He sounded sincere so Tanjiro glanced back up.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes... I, ah, see the... both of you... as siblings, too, I think," Giyuu agreed. He gave Tanjiro a tentative little smile, looking very shy and awkward—which made Tanjiro feel a bit better. At least they were mostly on the same page.
"You do?" Tanjiro sat up, almost knocking Nezuko over. He apologized quickly to her, patting her gently before turning back to the Hashira.
"I suppose you feel like... family, if you can say that," Giyuu murmured.
Tanjiro beamed.
"I'm glad, I was worried you would think I was weird for calling you that so suddenly."
"I don't mind." Giyuu looked on the verge of saying something, but not quite sure if he should. For a moment, he seemed to battle with himself, then gave in, blurting out: "You can still call me... that-"
Tanjiro stared at him momentarily, then a grin spread on his face. "Reaally? Thank you, Nii-san!" he said enthusiastically.
Nezuko, who wanted in on the fun, prodded Tanjiro's arm. "Wha?" she asked, stumbling over her words as she tried for form a coherent sentence. "Wha' happen...e?"
Tanjiro ruffled her hair affectionately. "Giyuu-san said we can call him 'nii-san' now."
Giyuu looked away, embarrassed as Nezuko sat up and crawled to the other side of the bed where Giyuu's chair was nearest.
"Onii-chan?" she asked tentatively, sitting in front of him and tilting her head.
Giyuu nodded. "...yes."
Nezuko smiled and, paired with Tanjiro's exuberence, it was practically too bright for Giyuu. He stuttered, trying to find something else to say. Then, promptly giving up, he excused himself. "I have to go now, I'll come by later, okay?" he mumbled.
The two nodded happily, waving their goodbyes to the Hashira as he left.
Little extra:
"I wan' go an' see Imosuke now!" Nezuko huffed, crossing her arms.
Tanjiro chuckled. "Inosuke? In a moment. He should be coming here."
Giyuu frowned. "I should go, then. He's very loud."
Tanjiro frowned but didn't protest. Nezuko, on the other hand, seemed to have other things in mind. She held up her arms—at the moment, she was perhaps the size of a 7 year old—and waved them about. "Onii-chan, pick me up! I don't wan' stay in the sun long," she whined.
Both Giyuu and Tanjiro turned to her, reaching forward. They both paused, realizing the other was doing the same. As they tried to figure out who should pick her up, Nezuko stomped her feet impatiently, wondering what was all the hold-up.
Another extra bc it's necessary:
During the training after Tanjiro had finally healed, the Hashira had met up again and Giyuu had been forced into coming. However he had brought Nezuko with him, who had fallen asleep in his arms. Tanjiro was resting after several hours of constant training and he didn't want to put the girl in his hands just yet. So instead, Giyuu was stuck with cradling Nezuko in his arms, hoping she didn't randomly increase her size. The other Hashira gave him amused looks but said nothing of it, too preoccupied on other matters.
They spoke for a while, with Giyuu mostly listening in. Half way through the meeting, Nezuko stirred, blinking up at Giyuu. She raised a hand, patting his chin, and he looked down.
"Good morning," he whispered gently, though it was nearing evening now.
She smiled, sitting up in his arms and growing slightly. "Onii-chan, where we?" she asked. Because she had just woken up, she didn't make any attempt to lower the volume of her voice and it was amplified in the small room, making every Hashira turn to their direction.
Giyuu's cheeks burned at the attention but he tried to ignore it, murmuring to Nezuko, "I'm at a Hashira meeting. Tanjiro's resting, but maybe you can go find Agatsuma or Hashibira?"
Nezuko nodded quickly, hopping out of his arms. She turned to the Hashira, waved briefly, and bounded out of the room. It was close to where Tanjiro and the others had been training and Nezuko had wandered about plenty here, so Giyuu wasn't worried. He was worried, however, about the Hashira who were currently supressing laughter at him.
"Onii-chan, huh?" Tengen grinned, propping his elbow on his knee and leaning on his hand (he was sitting cross-legged). "Have they adopted you into their family?"
Shinobu looked amused, though she had at least the curtesy—if it could be called that—to hide her smile.
"Would've expected you to be the one calling them 'onii-chan,'" Sanemi scoffed. "What with you being the most immature of them all."
"D...don't be mean!" Mitsuri scolded Sanemi, though she looked unsure if it was supposed to be an insult. "I think it's adorable! It's so cute that she calls you that, does Tanjiro, too?"
Giyuu nodded, tucking his chin to his chest as he avoided the Hashira's eyes. Mitsuri giggled, whispering something to Obanai who sat next to her. The rest of the meeting went by achingly slowly but when it finally ended, he left quickly, deciding he would visit Tanjro later in case the boy was headed to another of the Hashira's training. Hopefully, there wouldn't be a meeting any time soon.
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this one's shorter, sorry 'bout that :>
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diangelodork · 1 month ago
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DBDA nightly analysis #25! (sorry i've been lacking lately, i have not been in the right mental state but i am BACK NOW BABYYYYY)
tonight's topic: crystal palace the girl that you are (character analysis bc she's been getting shit on so violently lately and DOES NOT deserve it.)
i will say - i didn't care all that much for crystal for quite a while until i really sat down to analyze her motivations and background, but it is the hate that some people have been spewing about her that motivated me to analyze her tonight.
crystal palace is flawed. of course she is. she is by no means perfect.
the first time we see her is in emma's flashback to her and crystal. she would play in a graveyard, frolicking about and taking polaroid pictures with this ghost of a young child. she was good enough friends with this child for her to seek out professional help to get her back. she was undoubtedly kind to her.
when we see her next she is dazed and confused, and still, she makes a rude remark. this is not because she is inherently bad, but because she still has that memory of being mistreated. now, she doesnt have all of her memories, but she has the memory that people weren't nice to her. she feels she must fit into that mold and that memory. the way she does that is by being a dick.
we see her a bit more in depth in her walk with charles. she expresses that she feels like people weren't the kindest to her and, knowing what we know about the way she was raised, that makes a lot of sense. she was excruciatingly neglected as a child and seeked attention. the best way to do that was negative attention. it was the easiest to accomplish.
she has her spats with edwin, but they are mostly (if not exclusively) initiated by him. she returns his energy. then we see some of the shit she goes through with david. he is incredibly abusive all throughout the series and it is very evident how predatory he is. he chose her because she was unloved. because she was vulnerable. she was easy to take advantage of.
her breaking down in E1 is so, SO important to me. we forget that she is MEANT to be flawed. she is imperfect. like the boys, she is but a sixteen year old and she is so deeply scared. she doesn't know who she is or how to cope with the fact that she doesnt know who she is. on top of that, this fucker that she's with (affectionate) won't stop shitting on her for NO reason. from the start, he was a douche to her (he has his motivations for this as well, but that doesn't mean it's not true) and now shes sitting here and calling her abuser and the fucker that has been tormenting and stalking her is being linked to her ("her demon") and she cant HANDLE that. shes been hanging on by a thread all of E1. shes been dealing with so fucking much, emotionally.
interestingly, edwin is not an emotional character when faced with other people's issues. i say this because he still garners more compassion than her. the way she treats the becky aspen case, especially, is so fragile and vulnerable. the way she immediately starts crying after looking into becky's mom's mind should have elicited more sympathy than it did and it's incredibly interesting that it didnt.
i will be the FIRST to say how important the "it's a lark to you!" scene is for edwin, but i never hear anyone discuss crystal's part in this conversation. shes so desperate and hurting and it's so strange that no one talks enough about that.
except no its not. i wish it was.
i truly think its an issue of her being a black woman and standing in the way of payneland. there is a lot of internalized misoginoir within how the fandom views her character. it is explicitly highlighted within the show how similar edwin and crystal are and a lot of the things she gets hate for are characteristics that are also incredibly prevalent in edwin's character. for example, her brashness and bluntness. it’s okay when it’s edwin, the white, queer twink of everyone’s dreams, but the second it’s a woman who is already on thin ice for the fandom because she’s standing in the way of the main ship, it’s easy to say she’s a bad person for this.
crystal is so unwavering as a character. she has such strong themes of feminism all throughout her story. she is able to separate from her abuser and intimidate and overpower him which is so STRONG. she is able to hone in on the divine femininity of her ancestors and THAT is where her power is derived from. she confronts a goddess of female vengance and justice and stands in front of her, demanding justice for the young girls slaughtered under her watch. she is inherently, at her core, good. she has done shitty, awful things in her past, but that happens when you are abused. it is not an excuse, but she is a CHILD who has been deeply abused. neglect is a form of abuse.
also, could you IMAGINE how it must feel to be such a deeply unloved character who KNOWS they are unloved. she is a psychic. she could see into the minds of her parents. she could always see their apathy. what a lonely fucking thing to go through, my god.
even still, when she was doing these awful things, she took the time to connect with a young girl and spend enough time with her for them to bond and for her to miss her. her first instinct (with the memories of her parent's neglect gone) is to cross an ocean to save a little girl. she is so deeply touched by maren and shelby's stories.
she is a flawed character, but they all are. she gets more hate than all of them and, if you are one of the people who hate her above all else, i want you to ask yourself why? these views are, of course, not held by the majority of the fandom, but it has become a big fuckin issue and i wanted to address it. acknowledge where it’s coming from, if you’re one of the people feeling a bit targeted by tonight’s analysis. love yall <3
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fillinforlater · 2 years ago
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Minju invites you inside her place to have sex. Would you rather watch her undress while following her to the bedroom or undress her yourself?
Undress Under duress
Male Reader x Kim Minju
Length: 2876 words
Tags: teasing, undressing, outfit change, dirty talk, clothed sex, touching and feeling yourself, watch don't touch torture, rough sex, quick sex, standing sex, from behind, hair pulling, self-indulgence, creampie, Minju is the hottest thing ever, literally the sun can't compare, cursing, teased!you
Inspiration: apart from ask, mostly just the outfits and Minju being so damn hot that I can't help myself
(A/N: Lol that was so easy to write wtf. Yes, I'm working on other stuff, especially the 69th idol story, but those take a lot longer than a quick Minju smut.)
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“Hey~”
“Hi~”
Terrible flirtatious greetings often lead to rejection and a bit more tequila in your veins. But not tonight. Tonight it leads to horny giggles by you and the girl that just opened the door for you. The two of you met last night at the most cliche college party you have ever been to. A cliche party deserves some cliche pickup lines, you told yourself, and dropped one after the other until this gorgeous girl gave you her number.
“You look good, standing in this door frame,” you slowly hum, and reach for the top of said frame and lean on it with stretched arms, “but I bet you look better laying in bed.”
She giggles again, bright teeth shine through an even brighter smile. She is one hell of a catch. It’s incredible that she fell for lines like this, in all honesty, you didn’t even try, it just rolled off your tongue. 
“You want to find out?” she asks and you scan her outfit one final time: the baby blue denim of tight jeans is a perfect tease to hide what you assume are amazing legs. Her fuzzy long-sleeve crop-top looks perfect to tear off of her torso and reveal her collarbone and breasts. The fact that she is not wearing shoes makes it even hotter somehow.
“You don’t have to ask twice.”
Enter the small apartment. It's really not that special, minimal decorations, the typical college student chaos of textbooks and papers, an old couch in the corner. The only thing that catches your attention is a large mirror opposite of said couch. It hides the entire wall, floor to ceiling, thus making the room appear much larger than it actually is.
“Sorry, I didn’t find time to clean properly,” the girl says, her back turned to you for a second. You immediately take this opportunity to hug her from behind, arms firmly wrapped around her small waist and wide hips. 
“Don’t worry, Minju, I like dirty things~” you say and place a peck on her cheek. She brushes her hair to the side to give you easy access to her smooth neck, but before you can suck on the skin, she invites you into her mouth. 
The taste of juicy mango on light pink lips is a welcome surprise, so you attack her mouth further with your tongue until you find a quick, thrilling rhythm in which your tongues swirl. Saliva is exchanged, heartbeat increased and your fingers already fiddle with the top button of her pale blue jeans.
“Ha, stop,” Minju moans and reaches for your invading hand. “Sit down. I want to give you a show.”
“Oh, wow, I did not expect this. Alright then.”
You take a seat on the couch opposite of the mirror. Luckily, you don’t have to look at your flushed, horny face for long, as Minju steps in front of it and starts to play with her hair. Her pointers twirl the chestnut colored strands. She pulls the curls that form, making her hair bounce, all the while smiling widely and narrowing her fuck-me eyes.
Suddenly, her hands jump to her collar. Minju makes sure you are attentive, that every ounce of your attention is filled with her every movement, before she gradually moves her hands downwards. They glide through the fuzzy fluff of her white crop top, moving slightly up to pass over her mounds, but they never halt. 
Minju's insane lack of speed makes you shift forward in your seat. You want to, you need to jump up and grab that stupid white piece of clothing and tear it off. But the young woman just smiles seductively and shakes her head. Her hands continue their slow journey, over her toned abs, that beautiful navel until she finally tugs down her jeans a bit.
The first button pops free. That’s it. She doesn’t drag the denim down, doesn’t remove the prison of her legs. Only a slight tug and you see the hem of her what appears to be black lace panties. Your mind begins to melt. You grab the rest of the sofa, squeeze it, almost break it. It’s all right in front of you, but yet so far away.
“You like it~?” Minju teases with a husky whisper.
“Fuck, you’re such a tease,” you respond, eager to see what happens next.
You did not expect Minju to turn around. Sure, her back looks good, at least the parts you can see, but it’d look a lot better if you were railing her from behind, without the stupid crop top in the—
One pull and the crop top flies open. You couldn’t see how Minju did it, but by quickly adjusting your posture, you see in the mirror the reflection of her upper body. A black lace bra, very expensive and luxurious looking, covers her modest breasts. When she gets rid of the crop top all together, you drool at the sight of flawless skin on her collarbone, shoulder, arms.
“Minju, fuck.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.”
With that said, Minju takes a step backwards, away from the mirror, towards you. Her rear end is still covered by the tight pants, but when you hear her zipper, a rush of hormones and adrenaline engulfs you. Both her hands are at her hips, slowly creeping into the jeans and guiding them down as she bends over. More and more of the hem of her panties is visible, yet she still keeps her ass hidden. God, so close, you want it so much, you are ready to fall on your knees and beg. 
Minju catches your gaze through the mirror. She winks and puts out her tongue to taunt you, the deeply breathing, incredibly horny guy a meter away from her butt. Even though she could drag this torture out forever (and frankly, you would sit there and drool forever), she pulls back her tongue and bites her lip.
The firm skin of her cute ass comes into view. A black thong runs in between the well-formed cheeks. Minju lets the pants rest right underneath her butt and straightens her posture. A tiny shimmy, the cheeks begin to wiggle lightly. You are out of breath.
“I know it’s not the biggest, but it seems you like small butts,” she giggles and continues to let her pants fall in short hops. Her meaty, perfectly formed, round thighs make your heart flutter to an extreme you could not have dreamed of. For some reason, the finish was too fast. You can’t just jump up and fuck her now, but it’s exactly what you still desperately desire.
“You are such a slutty tease. I’ll fuck you so hard—”
“This was only part one,” Minju says. Her laughter rings through the apartment as she jogs out of the room. 
Minju returns shortly after with a completely different outfit. A simple pink dress with tiny gems spread all over it in simple patterns. The marvelous, mouth watering width of her hips is accentuated perfectly and invokes a want in you, a want to cum inside her. Not only cum inside, but also hold her hips while doing it and feeling her womanhood suck you dry. 
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“What do you think of it?” she asks and turns around once.
“It’s good, good, but for fucks sake, I want it on the ground,” you grunt. 
“Do you know why I like black thongs the most?” Minju asks, completely ignoring your response. Her eyes have this gleam of unbridled sex, as if nothing else mattered now, just raw, primal sex. But yet she still seems cool, unaffected, the lust is not overtaking her.
“No clue.”
“Because you can’t see how wet I am.”
With that said, she grabs the hem of the dress and gently lifts it up an inch. Your orbs widen and focus on her gap. Sure, she might show more of her delicious thighs, but you want to finally see her pussy. You expect her to pull up a bit more, but instead, she moves her fingers to the sides and sways the dress as if it were a skirt waving in the summer breeze. Her cute giggle would fill your heart if you weren’t so damn blinded by how much you hate her tease. 
You hate the way your perfectly fitting pants become uncomfortable  to wear. You despise the fact that your boxers are ruined by a stain of precum already. You can’t deal with her delighted mood, not at all innocent, but also not uncontrollably horny. Minju is in control, and for some reason, through all your hate, you fucking love it.
“Minju, please,” you squeeze out through gritted teeth.
“Please what~?”
“Please… pull the damn dress up.”
She laughs. “But only because you asked so nicely.”
The pink cotton moves up to reveal her midriff and crotch, the former bare, toned and beautiful, the latter only covered by a thin, ornate thong. It’s sexy beyond belief, but the black barrier still blocks your view of what you imagine is a shaved, wet pussy.
“Fuck,” you gasp.
“You want more?” Minju whispers, the bunched up dress firmly in her hands, ready to give you more—or is it just another tease?
“Yes!”
Minju raises an eyebrow at your lackluster answer. “Yes what?”
“Yes, please. Please, Minju!”
“There you go,” she bluntly says and easily pulls the dress over her head, then lets it fall out of her relaxing hand. Tension visibly leaves her entire body, she relishes in your gaze as it wanders up to her bare tits. They are a bit smaller than you assumed after seeing the bra, but your monkey brain wants to reach for them, pinch the hard nipples, and suck on them with reckless roughness. They are perfect, flawless, if you actually think about it. 
“I can’t hold it anymore, I need you now.” 
The words come from your mouth quickly. You stand up, hands already tearing open your pants, but Minju is a bit quicker. She places her hand on your heaving chest. In her deepest, most seductive tone yet she strikes you an offer that cracks the foundations of your imaginations.
“Before you go at me, hear me out. Either you can stay here, suck my tits the entire night and fuck me once with one of your stupid condoms.
“Or you can sit down again, watch the final show, and I’ll let you do anything to me. You can let all of your frustrations out, fuck me senseless with your hard cock. I don’t care if I can’t walk or talk anymore, I don’t care if I leak your fucking cum all over the apartment. Yes, you can even do it raw.”
You struggle to pull your pants back together. Your cock was almost free, now it’s not only getting blocked by clothes and the short distance between it and Minju’s cunt, but also Minju’s insane offer. Her hand is still on your chest, applying a small bit of pressure. You let yourself succumb to it rather than the spontaneous lust. Fall back into the couch and simply nod. 
“I think I know the answer.”
Minju winks and sneaks out of the room slowly, her hips swaying to the point where your head just sways along with them. This time, she stays out for longer, but what even is the time you have to wait in light of what is to come afterwards? Even if she walks out wearing an entire hanbok, you’d wait for her to finish this torturous game, undressing each layer of the excessively large dress.
“What do you think of this~?” the brunette moans as she enters. Your jaw drops and your eyes become unfocused. Minju hit another spot.
“Fuck,” you repeat your new found mantra at the sight of Minju doing gradual body rolls in her final outfit, another crop top and hotpants, both come with a catch. 
The crop top is black but slightly see through, to the point where you can make out that she is not wearing a bra. The gray hot pants are frayed at the edges, to the point where you doubt they cover her full. As Minju continues her little dance, you catch glimpses of what is below those pants. Nothing. No thong, no panties, just her juicy pussy lips. 
She is skilled however. You can never get a satisfying look at her entrance. These milliseconds are just another way to tease you. The way her hips move, Minju makes sure to not give you enough, to make you more addicted to the drug that is her body. You’re about to burst, in more ways than one.
“You’re doing fantastic,” Minju says and makes her hands go down her waving body, over breasts, abs, thighs, you know the drill. “I’ll give you a look.”
This time, no button is popped open. Minju wiggles the tight gray denim down until it’s loose enough. She drops it to her knees in one motion. Her pussy is finally exposed, free of any teasing blockades. It’s even prettier than you imagined. Smooth, shaven skin around it, pink labia, cute hidden clit. 
“Do you like it?”
Nod.
“Do you want it?”
Nod, nod, nod, a million times.
“Then what do you say?”
“Please~ oh my God, please, Minju!”
Your desperate, pleading shout makes Minju stick out her tongue as she gives tiny rubs to her more than wet clit.
“Come and get it.”
Jump up, pin Minju to the mirror. Your cock spring free on its own—nah, she was helping, but what’s the difference really? To her audible surprise, you don’t kiss Minju or remove her clothes. Instead, you pull her hot pants back up and tear them open. They are unusable in public now, but they are more than useful for what you’re going to do with her. 
“Hey, those were my favorites!” Minju protests.
“I don’t care,” you growl and lift her left leg up.
“You better don’t care. Use me like a fucking sex doll. No more hesitation.”
“You’re one to talk, teasing slut.”
Align your cock with her entrance. Hot and wet, like your tip already is.
“Fuck, I’ll probably cum immediately. Shit,” you curse and feel like hitting yourself for this lack of self-control.
“No problem,” Minju responds, needily, holding onto your nape, “I’ll make sure to keep your cock warm and clean it so you can repeatedly fuck me. 
“Also, I’m going to cum too.”
Piston your entire dick into her with one thrust. She pulls you in at your nape, you pull at her back. The two of you let all of your emotions out in screams and growls, before grunting and moaning when you start to fuck her against the mirror. It rattles each time you force Minju’s butt against it with your pelvis. 
You lose your mind to the pressure on your shaft. Minju’s pussy was loose, easy to penetrate at first, but now her walls grind all around your cock. Things get even better when the young woman cums with an erotic, feminine moan. Her cunt milks you, it’s ripple and hotness too much to handle. After mere seconds you burst.
Engage in a torrid make out session as you flood Minju’s tightness with your seed. The teasing session had the same effect as edging. You blast and blast and blast, huge, thick spurts of cum until Minju disconnects her lips to let both of you breathe. 
“Fuck, keep it in me. I’ll keep it war—”
“Shut up, slut.”
Your blunt response is followed by an even blunter action. Pull out of Minju and spin her around. With a lewd squelching sound, a considerable amount of your baby batter falls onto the floor before you can plug the hole again. She gasps in shock as you pin her body between you and the cold mirror. 
“You’re not going to give me commands,” you grunt into her ear and start to pump your spent, still hard cock into her leaking cunt. Eager to feel all of you, Minju presses her ass backwards until your pelvises meet. Get a handful of her hair while you take her from behind.
“Fuck, that’s the spirit,” Minju babbles through her drooling mouth. You firmly grab her hip to make the fucking easier. Your eyes go to the mirror. The reflection is not embarrassing to you anymore, you feel fucking feral at the sight of two bodies in their prime fucking. 
Minju must think the same thing. She can’t stop gawking at her own image, feeling herself, her body getting plowed. This self-indulgence, this arrogance she possesses makes you livid. She only wants to be looked at, her moves, her teases. She acts like you’re not there—although your cock reaches her womb and hits her cervix again and again. 
You increase the pace and press her stupidly gorgeous face against the mirror.
“You like your face, slut?”
“Hm~”
“Then make out with it.”
And as Minju closes her eyes and slobbers all over the hot image of herself, you don’t hesitate to slap her hourglass figure to make sure she remembers you. You are there, you were there—and you’re gonna stay for a bit longer, always cumming into Minju’s cunt.
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miss-sweetea-pie · 1 year ago
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I just saw an interesting maiko post. I didn’t want to comment or reblog because I figured that person didn’t want to have a discord considering the tags and some times tumblr recommended things to you. I probably wasn’t meant to see it honestly, But now I want to talk about it.
It was about how Zuko and Mai are just teenagers who don’t understand each other sometimes and then fail to communicate.
Also about how Mai’s emotionless trait collides with Zuko’s need for emotional validation and Zuko’s controlling possessiveness collides with Mai’s need for freedom. But they care for each other that doesn’t make them a bad couple, and Mai is not a bad girlfriend.
Honestly it a really good way to frame the relationship. I would also call it incompatible, maybe even toxic? it doesn’t make them bad people, but sometimes people do bring out the worst in you. Technically, this is true for Zuko, considering he went back to the fire nation, and he started dating Mai at the same time. Mai is the first person we see him speaking to after betraying his uncle and the show wants us to know he made the wrong choice. Mai is use as a narrative tool for Zuko’s lack of support in the fire nation,he’s miserable when he goes back home, and the one person, you would think he could connect with, his girlfriend, is cold and emotionally withdrawn. The show used Maiko to explore the the emptiness of being home in the fire nation, the empty promises of fire nation glory he been chasing and it doesn’t resonate with him anymore, also the impossible standard of gaining conditional love. (Sorry but Maiko is Zuko centric so it does makes Mai hard to read at best and abusive at worst)
I don’t deny that they care about each other in someway they’ve known each other since they were children, it’s safe and comfortable. but love is not enough. Honestly most toxic relationship in irl continue because they love each but they are not good for one other. Zuko and Mai they don’t understand each other and it seems like they don’t really want to understand each other. That’s the problem. (Mai mostly).
Maiko is really just a toxic cycle of their needs not being met
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This scene where Zuko want to talk about his feeing and open up to her
Mai: *yawn* I just asked if you were cold not for your whole life story.
(Not going to lie, that was funny but it’s still a very dismissive thing to say, especially to your partner.)
Zuko is actually a little bit more sympathetic when she tells her “sob story” he didn’t yawn
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Zuko: I like when you express yourself.
(her being off and on with her anger. Is like a metaphor for him being in the fire nation, trying to make something work and it’s not working. Constantly feeling like he said or does the wrong thing)
and It just bubbles over until they finally blew up
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Zuko’s possessiveness is a reaction to after he feels like he has done all sorts of stuff to please her. it’s zuko reaching his breaking point. Boy is really insecure in this relationship because the feed back he gets from her is contempt. Sure we could argue and say that doesn’t make mai a bad girl friend maybe this is just her sense of humor or personality. well, it doesn’t mesh well with Zuko therefore, they are incompatible, and a bad couple with each other. 
( also Zuko is not nice here that’s kind of the point he hads regressed  in his character arc so to speak.)
and then they get back together by making out.
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Sure she says she cares but why when did she actually show it? Actions speak louder than words! We never get a moment where Mai gets it and really understands him.
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notedchampagne · 1 year ago
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holds gun to your head. what are your the locked tomb gender hcs. i like your art
thank you!! in no particular order:
harrowhark: thats a Thing. being she/her is like a thing that came with being reverend daughter as a job and she refuses to acknowledge gender beyond that- but she would fucking kill it with it/its pronouns lets be real
gideon: butch. thats all. kind of that middle ground between being gnc and transgender in any direction but shes fine being a girl its moreso the focus on being a lesbian. ive seen some top surgery gideon art which i love but thats not my primary hc because i think A) she loves boobs on other girls so much it goes back around to appreciating her own B) im gay
camilla: boygirl. shes transmasc but also still a woman mostly due to nonchalance about the whole thing. shares she/he with palamedes thats my dream
palamedes: sorry i meant girlamedes. girlboy. also like if he was a girl but still a boy, but contrary to cams side its because hes both, like if you overlaid two layers at 50% opacity to make a new color. blue-green. shares she/he with camilla. quinn @thatneoncrisis once said hes soft butch which is so real i adore that
tridentarii: the twins to me are cis (dont leave yet) primarily because i think if i stick to the bit of them being cis white women everything they do is a fucking riot and it simply is the height of all humor. that aside sometimes i do get tired of the bit and corona is so trans woman to me and i know with certainty that when ianthe was in babs body she was doing drag.
naberius: i dont think about him LMFAO
second: i also dont think about the second much due to lack of substance, but i can get behind judy. nonbinary woman to me
fourth: jeannemary baby butch for SURE. thats canon. maybe a she & sir if i think about it. in modern aus gideon will babysit them and immediately clock isaac as a future he/they
fifth: t4t
seventh: dulcie has woman swag. not sure if shes cis i feel as if im intruding if i wonder about it. protesilaus is some guy
eighth: who cares
pash: worlds most beautiful trans woman ever to ME. i love her dearly there needs to be more representation of women just absolutely fucking coated in dirt and motor oil with bad manners if you offer them water. she is not fucking cis that is in the hair
nona: she just decided to be a girl because she thinks girls are pretty and she likes them. hope this makes sense <3 shed fucking adore some neos
john: karkat vantas
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builtbybrokenbells · 1 year ago
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Catch-22 | i
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It always feels like the harder you try to forget, the more you seem to remember.
Masterlist
Pairing: Sam Kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: 8k
Warnings: talks about sexual situations, mentions of hookups, talk of general sadness/heartbreak/breakups, mentions of mean girls/high school bullies, poor-self image/insecurity, small town drama, touch of angst, drinking, swearing, sorry if i miss any!
hello darlings 😁 im so excited to start this new adventure with you all. a bit of a slowburn but i hope that it will be worth it in time. as always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!
The air was chilly, nipping at your exposed skin to remind you of the seasons change, but it was not yet cold enough to be truly bothersome. The night sky was polluted with city lights and the sidewalks were littered with faces of vague familiarity, forcing you to recall a lifetime that you had lived long ago. The town was covered in a haze of melancholic grey, haunting you with years of memories that you had been trying so hard to forget. Your hometown was a place that you had been constantly trying to run away from, something that you had been dreaming of leaving behind for more, yet every holiday season you found yourself back in the same place, wondering if it would ever possible to cleanse yourself of the curses of a small town.
Your bedroom of your childhood home was the same, plastered with posters and photographs of people you hadn’t spoken to in years. You slept under the same comforter that your high-school self had picked out from a Walmart shelf, sixteen and in love with the tasteless pattern mostly because it was new and your very own, rather than one of your sisters well worn hand-me downs. Your pillows held memories of ex-boyfriends and friends that had all broken your heart, even after endless sleepovers and nights spent pouring your souls into each other. Your graduation cap and honours cords decorated your computer desk, and your abhorrent wardrobe was still hung in your closet alongside the embarrassing prom and homecoming dresses. Your parents sat in the same spots in the living room, effectively ignoring each other while trying to force themselves to fall back in love for the greater good of the family. They hadn’t touched a single thing in your room since you moved out.
It was familiar, comfortable, but it was a world you no longer wished to live in. Sure, the memories would be something fond to look back on when you were eighty and reminiscing about your youth while staring death in the face, but as a 23 year old who was eager to step into the real world, it was nothing short of an evocative ode to the person you forever wished you could destroy. You didn’t hate yourself in high school like many others did, at least not seriously; of course, there was a struggle with self image and insecurities, but what teenage girl did not face such problems? You were far from perfect, and you were definitely not a part of the popular clique (Which was just another small town narrative that drove you crazy), but you were alright with what you had made yourself to be all those years ago. You were a selfless soul who loved learning, a great friend who would sacrifice your own happiness if it were for another in need, and one who did fantastically in everything she set her mind to.
It was not your person that made you so eager for change, but rather the lack thereof. You were perfectly mediocre, someone who always flew just under the radar and never stood out. You wanted to be memorable, a person in which others would think of in decades to come, and you knew that the only way to do that was to leave everything behind. Mediocrity would forever become you in a town where it was cherished, and deep down, you knew that you were destined for something greater. Unfortunately, until your university degree was in your hand, you were forced to return home for the holidays. You were not yet able to move across the state and disappear from everyone’s memory, even if it was something you desperately craved.
As you walked, you questioned yourself on your own decisions. Why, especially after reiterating your opinion on your hometown in your mind, did you feel the need to agree to a night of drinking with a group of girls you hadn’t seen in years? At first, it seemed like a fantastic idea, a chance to catch up with people who reminded you of childhood innocence, but as you neared the bar, you felt dread settle in your stomach. These people had no idea who you were, and barely did even when they spent every day with you in grade school. Your lives were worlds apart; some were settled down with kids, some were still living with their parents while trying to relive senior year every weekend despite it being almost half a decade ago. Some had graduated college and started their full time jobs, but none of them were the type of people you wanted to associate with anymore.
Yet, you couldn’t seem to say no. Your generosity was your greatest strength, but somehow also your biggest weakness.
You knew that the night would not be horrible. Mind-numbing, perhaps, but survivable. You would sit and listen to their accomplishments, learn the names of their kids who you would never meet, and you might even share your own stories of life after high school. You would recall old memories, maybe even learn some new ones, and you would get to hear all about the people they loathed in your younger years. Then, you would all go your separate ways and maybe see each other at the ten-year high school reunion. It was predictable, but so were all of the small town dwellers who never took the leap of faith in changing. You would go home and sleep it off, and they would gossip about you over coffee at the shitty cafe down the street the next morning. It was inevitable, unpleasant, yet still seemed more appealing than trying to do schoolwork while listening to your parents passive-aggressive talk about things that were less than important in the background.
You checked your makeup in the camera of your phone, swiping away any specs of mascara and smudged lipstick before entering the bar. You weren’t willing to give them any fuel to talk behind your back once you went home. You had even put on a nice skirt and a shirt that was a little out of your comfort zone for the occasion. You knew you didn’t have to prove anything to anyone, but growing up alongside a sea of cheerleaders and athletes had severely impacted your self confidence. You were average in every aspect; your younger self was a little bigger than most in terms of weight. You had glasses and poor makeup skills, always trying to cover your acne yet only ever making it more obvious. You never dressed up, and most often dressed down, and you were so involved in academics that you never bothered much with a social life beyond your small group. You hated school dances, and your family never had the extra money to spend on any extracurricular activities. With three children, you couldn’t blame them; you knew that you and your sisters had a good life, even if you had to miss out on some things here and there.
You were not bullied, but your peers were certainly not overly friendly nor concerned with your existence. Since then, you weren’t shy to admit that your appearance had drastically improved. Not in any grand sense, but your metabolism finally caught up to speed, your skin cleared, you learned some tricks with makeup brush and had discovered contact lenses. Maybe your agreement to join them had less to do with your fear of saying no, and more to do with your desire to prove your worth. If they were going to talk, you hoped that you could at least give them something good to say.
You opened the door, drawing in a long breath to settle your thoughts as you were slapped in the face with the warmth of the air inside. You could hear music drifting through the sound system, likely a song from the same playlist they were using the last time you had visited over a year prior. Originality was not something that was greatly cherished, and the regulars would probably still hoot and holler for songs they had heard ten times that night alone. The bar was lit with dim lamps shining from underneath the liquor wall and the neon projections from the dance floor. It was so predictable, yet you still found an unexplainable charm in it. It was one of the few bars that remained standing amidst a nasty fight for business, and it had been open since your parents enjoyed a night on the town (which was a very long time ago). Still, the staff was friendly and every now and again there was a diamond in the rough that sang when they broke out the karaoke machine. It wasn’t miserable, but it was nothing like the bars you were used to in your university town.
You slipped your coat from your shoulders, already finding it too warm inside, and fought your way through the crowd to the bar. You pulled a twenty from your wallet, anxiously awaiting your turn to order. Eventually, after a few moments of watching them sling pitchers of draft beer across the countertop, a bartender made her way towards you. “What can I get you, honey?” She asked, a blinding smile on her face. You wanted to believe it was genuine, but you knew that it was likely an act to coerce a tip from you. Either way, the kindness was appreciated, especially when you were feeling so jittery.
“Just a double vodka soda for now, please.” You said, drumming your fingertips against the countertop. She gave a curt nod, rushing away to fix the drink. Whether her speed was because she wanted to get rid of you or because she wanted to provide five-star customer service was neither here nor there. Within a minute, she sat a frosty glass of liquid courage before you and was already offering to start a tab. With hesitancy, you slipped the bill back in your pocket and agreed to pay later, handing her your credit card instead. You were aiming for a drink and dash, but you figured you shouldn’t walk into an interaction with such negativity. For all you knew, the night could be the best time you had during your visit home.
‘That would be pathetic.’ You shut the thought down as soon as it surfaced.
With the glass in your hand, you turned towards the crowd. Your eyes scanned the bodies, aiming to locate your company for the night, but knowing that you would be just as content if they decided not to show. After a moment, you heard your name over the mess of drunken chatter and shitty music. Your head turned in the direction of the sound, locating a group of girls in a corner booth. You forced yourself to smile, sipping on your straw as you stepped towards them. A whirlwind of emotion struck you once you were within earshot of their conversation, only questioning yourself more as the seconds continued to pass by. Before you could convince yourself to turn and run, they slid over and invited you in.
“Well hello, y/n.” A bubbly blonde greeted. Her name was Beth, and in middle school, she had started dating a boy named Jack. You could recall the toxic, jealous display the two often engaged in and the cheating scandals that seemed to surface every other week. When you all graduated, he joined the military right after he popped the big question. They were married two months later and had their first kid seven months after the graduation ceremony. Now, she was a stay at home mom with three kids and a blog about her family life, which to you just seemed like a huge cry for help.
“Hi,” you smiled, settling into the booth.
“We were so happy to hear that you could make it.” Another girl spoke, Allyson (the ‘y’ was very much important to her identity as she liked to remind everyone, although you did remember her spelling it with an ‘I’ until high school), with fake ginger hair and so much plastic surgery that she was nearly unrecognizable in comparison to your early days. She came from a rich family, one who never taught her much about hard work or discipline. She considered herself a professional social media influencer, which she claimed paid for the mansion she now lived in. You all knew her parents gifted it to her, yet nobody seemed keen on calling her on her bullshit. But, she was gorgeous, and she did take some damn good pictures from what you had seen on her Instagram. You never minded her much in school.
“Yeah, I was really happy to get the invitation.” You forced through your teeth, still wondering why you came at all.
“How’s life at UMichigan?” The last woman spoke, voice quiet and genuinely curious. You looked to your side, eyes softening at the sight. It was your best friend from elementary school, someone in which you shared lots of dreams about being an astronaut over juice boxes and Barbie dream houses. You didn’t see much of her once middle school came around; she loved soccer, and you loved the library. The world played its part in your separation, yet there never seemed to be any ill feelings about the shattered friendship. Her name was Sarah, and she was admittedly still the prettiest woman you had ever seen. She went to community college and worked at a daycare somewhere around town. Strangely enough, even after years of radio silence in grade school, once you both graduated, you remained in contact. She was one of the few people from Frankenmuth that you kept any kind of contact with, even if it was minimal. (In truth, it was really only the occasional ‘how are you’ and funny pictures sent through social media, but contact is contact, right?)
“It’s good,” you nodded, already nearing the end of your drink. “Just a few more months and I’m done, so that’s exciting. The city is nice, and so are the people. It’s kind of like a home away from home.”
“What are you taking, again?” Allyson asked.
“Oh, English literature. Guess I never really grew out of my love for books.” You chuckled, stirring your ice around your glass with the straw.
“You did love to read,” Beth chuckled, fidgeting with her wedding ring. You wondered if she craved escape the same way you did, or if she ever wondered what life would be like if she didn’t rush herself into marriage. After the endless heartbreak her now husband seemed to cause her all those years ago, you doubted that she was any more than just content. People didn’t change that much, and you feared that she was still living the same reality as her high school self did.
“I did,” you agreed, feeling the awkwardness already begin to creep up on you. “What about you? Your kids are absolutely adorable, by the way.” You shifted the attention away from yourself, despising the empty small talk.
“Oh, thank you.” She gushed. You could tell that they were her pride and joy, and despite her potential distaste for the life she chose for herself, she had not one bit of regret for them. “I’m doing good, but they definitely keep me busy. Don’t have much time for anything else with them running around all of the time.”
“I can imagine.” You sympathized, wondering if her extended invitation was just an excuse to be a real person and have some alone time for ten minutes. “Love the blog, by the way. Your recipe page is my go to for any kind of get-together.” You could tell she needed the gratification, and you never minded dishing any out.
“Really?” She squeaked, almost like she couldn’t believe someone actually cared enough to read them.
“Of course.” You nodded. Maybe you had misjudged the situation, and catching up after so long wasn’t terribly bad. After all, you had all grown and changed so much that it was almost like getting to know each other all over again. “And Allyson, I saw you just got back from Bali not too long ago. How was that?”
“It was phenomenal.” She gushed, eager that the conversation was pointed in her direction. “Definitely my favourite place I’ve been so far.” You were almost sickened at the thought of footing her travel bill, but smiled despite your astonishment at the fact that she had the money to travel the world so freely. You were thankful that the bartender came to clear the table, prolonging your process of trying to think of another question. You all put in another drink order, knowing that intoxication would be key to making the night enjoyable. Stale air surrounded you as you waited for the next round of drinks, none of you sure of where to go from there. When your second double of the night was within reach, you could already feel the tension melting away in your shoulders.
“You look really good, y/n.” Sarah said, studying every detail your face had to offer. “University life is definitely for you.”
“Oh,” you gave a nervous laugh “thank you. I finally discovered the benefits of contact lenses, so that really helped.” You joked, recalling the bulky frames that used to sit on your nose. They were so horrendous that it was impossible to forget them.
“No, you look happier.” She replied, giving you a small smile.
“Yeah, I am.” You nodded, knowing that she had hit the nail on the head. Leaving town had done wonders for your mental well-being, and even more for your personal development. You were free to spend time with others just like yourself, and ones so different that they constantly challenged you to step out of your comfort zone. Different as adult was so much better than different as kids, because you never felt shamed or outcasted for your previously strange likes and interests. Different after eighteen was so unlike what you had known as a child, and you quickly learned that there were so many divergent personalities like your own waiting to be discovered. Back when you lived under your parents roof and knew nothing but your high school, you were well aware that if you didn’t fit in with the culture of the community, you were better off lying rather than showing your true colours. Small towns always seemed to beat any unconventional traits out of a person and they cherished likeness. There were thousands of people who resided in your town, yet they all seemed like the same personality, just in a different body.
“All it took was getting away from Frankenmuth.” Beth said, sending a wink your way.
“Or getting away from Sam Kiszka.” Allyson giggled, but you found her comment far from humorous. The name seemed to strike you like a gunshot, tearing through you and leaving little behind. You choked on your drink, sputtering and coughing to expel the liquid and hopefully his memory, too. You hadn’t heard the name in a long time, and if you had it your way, you would never hear it again.
“Stop,” Beth gave a gentle smack on her arm, but still found herself laughing alongside the other girl. You were too distracted to care about their pointed snickering, already pulled back into a violent confrontation in your mind over the one person you had promised to forget. It seemed that at the sound of his name alone, you could remember his spirit and his presence so clearly, like he was sat right in the booth beside you and no distance had ever separated you from him. You could hear his voice, the sound of his laughter, and you could feel his hand on your arm, gripping you tightly as he laughed at one of your stupid jokes. The air was stolen from your lungs, your own mind was suffocating you as it forced you to recall the memories.
It was almost funny, grieving someone so deeply while they were still alive and breathing. It was almost terrifying, knowing that after years of trying to forget, you only ever seemed to remember with more clarity.
“Do you ever hear from him?” The words pulled you back into reality, but the impact of his memory was so profound that reality did not even seem real. Your eyes flickered up to Beth’s face, unsure if they were asking out of curiosity, or if their plan was to torture you all along. You thought it best to just continue as if the topic hadn’t completely derailed your entire life in just a few seconds. You were never one to hang your dirty laundry on the line for everyone to see.
“No, never.” You shook your head, but it was a lie. Well, only partially. There was a stash of saved voicemails from him in your inbox, but they ended somewhere around your third year of university beginning. The sober version of yourself questioned why you would ever keep such things so easily accessible, as they were nothing but a trophy of your misery, but the drunkest version of you needed to hear them to go to sleep at night. There was an entire album of pictures of him saved deep in the stores of your phone, retrieved only on nights when you had too much wine and too little self control. There was a box of memories tied to a man who no longer knew if you were alive or dead stored in a box underneath your bed, just because you could never find the courage or the strength to discard them. So no, you weren’t lying when you said that you never heard from him, but you would be lying in saying that you had managed to rid yourself of him. Even when you begged yourself to forget, you never really wanted to let it all go. You promised yourself that with time, you would finally be free, but the time was nowhere near right yet, even if you wished it was. “He seems to be doing great for himself, though.”
“Oh my god, I know.” Allyson gushed, almost like she had been waiting to address the elephant in the room. It was a culture shock to everyone in the town to see you and Sam finally go your separate ways, and you were certain that it had been a common topic of discussion for the people left behind. “They’re all so hot now.”
“Hey,” you defended, the response automatic even if it wasn’t deserved. “Sam was… I mean, he was… they were all good looking.” You muttered, only digging yourself a deeper hole as you continued speaking. A chorus of giggles sounded from the booth, but you did not participate. You wished you could disappear, or even have the booth swallow you whole just to avoid any further embarrassment.
“Some things never change,” Beth sighed, reminiscing on an easier life.
“Did you ever meet anyone new?” Sarah asked, hoping to change topics to make it a little more digestible for you. As much as her concern for you was endearing, the time had long passed for any type of relief. You were now completely uninvolved in whatever the dynamic was at the table, instead thrown back into a whirlpool of emotions at the thought of the boy you hoped you would never have to see again. You should have known better than to accept the invitation, because small town girls only ever cared about gossip, and the legacy that you and Sam Kiszka had left on the town was too tempting for them to pass up.
“I mean, there were a couple flings, but nothing ever lasted long.” You whispered, burying yourself in the vodka soda to suppress the sour taste that was left in your mouth after speaking his name. “I don’t think dating is for me, anyway. Maybe in the future once I’m graduated and have a steady job, but just not right now.” You confessed, hoping that would be the end of the discussion.
“Don’t say that,” Allyson reached over, giving you a reassuring pat on the arm. “You never know what’s waiting for you. If you don’t want to date, just have some fun. No strings attached is a whole new world of possibilities.” She gave you a smirk, knowing that you were never the type for meaningless sex. They didn’t have to know you very well to know that; innocence was written all over you, even in the newest, most powerful version of yourself.
“You’re right,” you agreed, mostly just so you could move on, but you couldn’t deny that there was some truth in her statement. Maybe you had such a hard time forgetting because you wouldn’t allow yourself to learn about anything else. One night of nothing but fun seemed like a sure way to start moving forward, and after a year and a half of radio silence, you figured there could be no harm in trying.
“Oooh,” she wiggled her eyebrows, enticed by your intrigue. “Let me pick one for you, please.” She said, turning around and looking into the sea of people.
“Maybe not tonight.” You laughed, shaking your head at the absurdity of the situation. You were sat with three women in which you never thought you would speak to again, in the middle of a bar in your hometown that you hated with a passion, while your company begged you to let them pick you a one night stand. A dream would be the most logical explanation for the series of events, but your burning cheeks and nervous jitters were too strong to be a figment of your imagination.
“Why not tonight!” She exclaimed. “The sooner you learn that the world has more to offer than Sam Kiszka, the better you’ll feel.” She assured you. You gave a tight lipped smile, sipping the last of your drink away, knowing you shouldn’t protest the statement. If you did, you would only be further proving your ignorance to the truth, ultimately cementing your blind loyalty to someone who probably hadn’t given you a second thought in years. Still, even knowing you shouldn’t feel such a way, deep down you believed that the most the world could offer was Sam Kiszka, and you would be foolish for thinking otherwise. “Maybe we’ll get a few drinks into you, that’ll change your mind.” She said, signalling a bartender to the table.
And drink you did; it didn’t take long for the rosiness of your cheeks to change from embarrassment to tipsiness. The chatter about your love life died down and was replaced by humorous retellings of stories that had been long forgotten in your minds. Every now and again, Allyson would point to a man walking by in hopes that he would be suitable for your taste, but you always turned the other way. Along the way, you had switched from vodka to rum, and that was never a good thing for you. You were shocked at the lighthearted nature of the hangout, elated that you had decided to come, knowing that this would indeed be the most fun you had during your stay in Frankenmuth. The music only got better the drunker you got, and the bar seemed more and more inviting as you continued to sip away at the alcohol.
Somewhere around the sixth round of drinks, Allyson had convinced the crowd to move to the dance floor and further the fun. You were never one to dance, yet the rum coursing throughout your veins made it seem like a tempting endeavour. With a shot of tequila down and a lime wedge stuck between your lips, you were the first to make the move towards the swarm of bodies. Under the neon strobe lights, the world seemed like such a beautiful place, one in which no heartbreak or melancholic memory could touch you, nor could the weight of your hometown drag you down any further. Phones were out, snapping pictures of a night none of you ever envisioned for yourselves, but it would be one you would remember in years to come. Beth was free of the chains of motherhood for a night, Sarah was celebrating something none of you knew a thing about, Allyson was in search of a suitor for you and for herself, and for the first time in your entire life, Sam Kiszka was not even a thought in your mind.
It was so fantastic, that you even found yourself with your hands all over a nameless man who was quite easy on the eyes. He was tall, had a nice smile, and most importantly, was nothing like the boy you wanted to forget. There were few words shared between the two of you, but it seemed that the liquor was doing all of the work for you. You were both dancing, knowing that it didn’t matter what conversation you made, because you were both in search of the same thing; companionship for a single night, then leaving and never speaking again, just like it never happened at all. No Instagram follows, no Facebook stalking, or anything of the sorts. Just simple sexual pleasure without any further requirements. You would even be okay if he neglected telling you his name, because in truth, you did not care. You were only concerned in the ability of his hands, and perhaps even his mouth as long as there was a promise of him using it for anything but speaking.
When the song ended, he whisked you away to the bar to buy you another drink in hopes of winning you over. You did not have the heart to tell him that there was no need for any convincing, because you were more than ready to go home with him for the night. You took post on a bar stool, head swirling with endless possibilities. Your face was warm, and your eyes were glossy with intoxication. Much to your regular-selfs dismay, you would even be willing to compromise for a bathroom hookup just to avoid spending the entire night together. You were hammered, and it had been far too long since you had felt the hands of another. Your only rationale was that one time would not be the end of the world, and you likely wouldn’t remember most of it when the sun began shining in the sky again.
“What’s your name, beautiful?” He asked, leaning so close to you that your noses were nearly touching. There it was, the dreaded formalities expected before sexual intimacy. You hated it, and you hated getting to know people. Small talk killed you, and talk as simple as that was just dirt piling on top of the casket.
“Y/n,” you hummed, drinking down the fruity beverage the bartender had mixed for you. “What about you?”
“Austin,” he replied, eyes casting a heavy-lidded gaze over your face.
“I can work with that.” You smiled, wondering if he would take the final step toward the finish line, or if you would have to beat him to it.
“I’m sure you can.” He grinned, already showcasing excitement for what seemed like a certain agreement between the two of you. “Do you want to head back to my place?”
“I think that would be fine.” You nodded, inching closer to him. You wanted to kiss him, but you were afraid that the tension was so intense that you would not be able to contain yourself if you did.
“I’ll call us a cab.” He said, hand lingering on your hip with a burning touch. He pulled back, reaching into his pocket to grab his phone when you caught sight of a view that made your heart skip a beat. You shifted to the side, hopeful for a better look, even while knowing it was in your best interest to mind your own business and tend to your own needs, for once.
You squinted, trying to rid yourself of the double vision and focus in on your target. You leaned forward on your chair, eyebrows knitted together as you held onto the bar top for support. “Oh my god.” You audibly gasped, too drunk to hold back your shock. Your company gave you a look of confusion, unsure of what had caught your eye. When you didn’t answer, he turned his head to look in the direction of the disturbance. You waited, hoping that your eyes were deceiving you, but the longer you stared, the more familiar the long mop of curly hair seemed. When the subject in question turned to face the bartender rather than the body beside him, you thought you were going to be sick. You knew that big nose and that blinding smile, and you knew it far too well. It was one you hadn’t seen in years, but no amount of time would ever allow you to forget it. “I have to go.” You blurred out, rushing to your feet and nearly tripping over yourself to get away.
“Wait, did I do something?” Austin asked, completely clueless about anything that was happening.
“No, sorry, just have to go.” You muttered, pulling your jacket from the back of your chair. You grabbed your purse, scrambling away from the scene to try and locate the girls you had spent the evening with. Approaching the dance floor, your eyes landed on the group you had left behind. You scrambled towards them, frantic and breathless in hopes of saying goodbye. When you were a few feet away, a body stepped in front of them before you could reach them. Your eyes widened as you stepped backwards, knowing that there was no way in which you could continue forward with him in your way. He was short, his long brown hair cascading down his shoulders as he adorned a lazy smile. His face was so similar to someone you knew too well, so achingly beautiful and haunting in its familiarity.
You made it off of the dance floor, relieved to be free from an interaction you were absolutely unwilling to have. You let out a long exhale, turning towards the exit. You thought you were in the clear until you saw someone lingering by the main entrance, a dopey grin on his cheeks as he chatted up a group of people at a nearby booth. “Why are there so fucking many of them?!” You exclaimed to yourself, not even loud enough to reach your own ears over the music. You wondered if you could slip by unnoticed; maybe, if you put the hood of your jacket up, he wouldn’t even recognize you as you walked by. You thought it was your best chance at escape, not seeing any other way out of the grisly predicament you had found yourself in.
As you were slipping your coat on, you noticed the body by the door finishing up his conversation. Your heart sped, palms breaking into a sweat as you rushed to pull your hood up, but you were much too late. The boy had started to make his way towards you, his curious eyes settled on your face as he attempted to place your astounding familiarity. After a few seconds, his eyes lit up like he’d won the grand prize. He sped his pace, trying to reach you before he lost you. In a panic, you took a few steps backwards, recklessly trying to run before he could close in on you. Instead of a graceful disappearance, you had walked straight into someone standing a few feet behind you. Luckily, the person was not carrying a drink and there was no mess to be had. You figured you could mutter an apology and be on your way.
You turned, ready to rush out an apologetic comment for being so clumsy, but when your eyes landed on the face, you thought the ground was going to disappear from under you and the sky would come crashing down. Your stomach was positively sick with stress and your heart was on the verge of combusting. Your hands were shaking, no longer concerned with concealing your face, because there was no need to hide, anymore. You had been caught red handed, and by the absolute worst person out of them all. If you would have just mustered the courage for an awkward chat with one of the others, perhaps you would not have been so unlucky to run into Sam Kiszka himself, smiling down at you with a far away look in his eye.
“Long time no see, Rapunzel.” He gave you a small smirk, stealing the air directly from your lungs and effectively shattering your psyche.
Your house was still, not a peep to be heard from any of your siblings bedrooms nor your parents. The soft hum of the television could be heard if you listened hard enough. Your fathers snoring was extremely faint in the background, and the putter of rain against the steel roof enveloped the home in a cozy atmosphere. For a Saturday night, you were all tucked away considerably early with no better place to be. You had your record player on the lowest setting, giving an ambience in your room without disturbing any peace. A soft yellow light from a lamp by your beside was the only thing illuminating the room, and you were seconds away from sleep. That was, until a soft plunk of something hitting against your window scared you back into wakefulness.
You climbed from your bed, uncertain of the cause of the noise, yet having a sneaking suspicion rise in the back of your mind. As you peered into the darkness of the night, your heart gave an excited flutter as your eyes landed on the culprit. You cracked the window open, popping the screen out and gently leaning it against your wall. “Let down your hair, Rapunzel.” His voice was quiet, both of you fearful of being caught but never enough to sway your decision on seeing each other.
You reached down, extending your hands to him. He grabbed on to them and you helped him up, slowly letting go once you were certain he had a good grip on the windowsill. He pulled himself up, gracelessly tumbling inside through the small open area. “You’re stupid, you know.” You giggled, making sure to be as quiet as possible.
“You love it.” Sam said, looking down at you. There was a glimmer of adoration shining in his eye, one that told you he would be happy to insulted by you for the rest of his life. “My parents weren’t home, so I figured I’d come and see you.”
“Well, my parents are home, and they’ll kill us if we get caught.” He was barely listening to you, already sliding the window shut to lock out the cold air. He turned back to you, reaching out to cup your face in his hand. You melted into the feeling, knowing that it had realistically only been a day since you had felt his touch, but it felt more like an eternity.
“I would be more than happy to die if it meant it would be by your side, y/n.” He leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Your eyes fluttered closed at the euphoric feeling, knowing that you too would be alright with dying as long as he was by your side.
“How are you, Samuel?” You asked, shifting uncomfortably on your feet as you tried to think of a way out of the conversation.
“Better now that you’re here.” He said, looking as if he wanted to reach out and touch you, yet knowing that he shouldn’t.
“Please, let’s not act like this is a joyous reunion.” You chuckled, averting your gaze to the floor. The longer you looked at him, the worse your chest ached.
“Come on, Princess. You knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.” He chuckled, looking down at you with the same adoration he had all of those years ago. His hair was longer now; you recalled the last time you saw him, when he had told you he was working on growing it out. You had seen pictures, but he was so much different in person. The childish nature of his face had long gone, replaced by the face of a man you no longer knew. It was horrific, astounding to know that everything had changed. He was not the same person you remembered him as, and it was a hard pill to swallow even if you had been telling yourself that for months.
But, just because you knew that Sam was not the same person who once was so important to you, did not mean that you wanted to accept the fact. As you continued staring at him, a lifetimes worth of memories flooded back to you, making home in your heart despite you desperately trying to keep them out. His eyes held familiarity, and a sense of home that you hadn’t felt since the last time he stood before you, and they were drawing you in further with every second that passed. You would forever break underneath the weight of your love for Sam, and even years after the initial heartbreak, the feeling never seemed to fade. It had been more than a year since you were last face to face with him, now accompanied by someone you knew absolutely nothing about, but there was a fizzle of joy in your heart to finally be in his presence again. You hated him, but you loved him despite the hatred, and that was the most wretched part about it. He knew you so wholly and completely that you despised him for it, yet it held an odd comfort that you had never felt with another. You never wanted anyone to know you as well as Sam, but most of the time, you did not even want him to know you so well.
“Guess I did,” you shrugged, looking down at the floor. “Can’t ever seem to stay away from each other.” It was the painful truth; no matter how far you ran, you could never get far enough away. Or, you ran so far that you made it all the way around the world, just to end up staring at the back of his head.
“You look stunning, y/n.” He said, almost seeming nervous to voice the compliment. “I miss you.”
“Thanks.” You mumbled, your cheeks turning red at the kind words. “I, uh… I miss you, too.”
“I left so many voicemails, and I never heard back. Just figured it would be best to give you some space. Didn’t realize it would turn into months, and then I was too scared to reach out.” He explained. You bit down on the inside of your lip, recalling the declined calls and unanswered messages. You felt horrible about it, yet you knew that it was ultimately for the best. Back then, you never pictured yourself coming face to face with him again. Maybe if you had at least given an amicable goodbye, it wouldn’t be so difficult to look him in the eyes. Then again, you could not blame yourself too harshly for leaving without a word, because god knows he deserved much less than a silent goodbye.
“Some things are better left unsaid, Sam.” You reminded, trying shake away the looming sadness that was hanging over your head. How can you love someone’s company and loathe it all the same?
“I know, and I don’t blame you.” He agreed, hoping that you knew he wasn’t angry. “Can I buy you a drink, maybe? I know it won’t make up for anything, but it’s the least I could do. It would be really nice to catch up.” You looked up, finally meeting his eyes. You wished you hadn’t, because the pain he held in his gaze was too much to bear. It was the same one you had been carrying around for so long. You wanted to say yes, to let the past remain the past and move forward somehow, but you felt frozen. It would be nice to hear about his life, to say hello to his brothers, and Danny. ‘Sweet Danny’ you thought, another wave of grief washing over you. You missed him so badly, and you craved to rekindle your friendship with him, but he had always been Sam’s friend, first. It would not be fair for you to impede on their relationship for any selfish reason, and selfishness seemed to be all you knew when it came to Sam.
“No,” you shook your head, the weight of your rejection heavy in the air. “No, Sam. I have to get home.”
“Oh,” he attempted to cover his hurt with the word, but it only made it all the more clear. “Yeah, okay. Maybe some other time?” It was not likely that you would ever be willing to make plans with him in the future, but you could not seem to break the bad news to him. Instead, a little white lie would solve your immediate problems, and you could continue on trying to pretend he did not exist. That way, you would never actually need to confront the issue. Avoidance was a game the two of you had mastered, and you only thought it right to keep up the same energy.
“Sure, Sam. Some other time.” You nodded, already stepping away from him. “Have a good night.”
“You too, y/n. It was good seeing you.” He said, wishing he could find the right words to convince you to stay. Instead, he watched as you disappeared into the sea of people, wondering if he would ever get the chance to see you again.
You pushed through the door, tumbling into the night as tears threatened your eyes. Your heart was heavy, so heavy that you were having trouble placing one foot in front of the other due to the sheer weight of it. You pulled your jacket closer to your body, trying to keep out the cold and exile the lingering feeling of his company. You wished that you had declined the girls invitation, not because of any reason you previously thought you would, but because you knew that the innocent reunion with Sam would hinder your healing and bring you right back to square one. The hardest part about being in love with Sam was not actually loving him, but rather falling out of love with him. You had been trying for years, and every time you thought you made progress, it would ultimately be for nothing, because something else would come along that would make you fall in love all over again.
As you walked back to your childhood home, the streets reminding you of the version of yourself you were desperate to kill, you realized that your hatred for Frankenmuth had little to do with your need for change. You weren’t eager to leave because of the gossip, nor the close-minded nature of the population, and not even because of the lack of substance. Your hometown was quite beautiful if you knew where to look, and held charm like no other. It was not the worst place in the world, and in truth, it was quite far from it. Your desperation to leave was directly accredited to your desire to forget Sam Kiszka. You wished to purge yourself of his memory and erase him from your life. You craved to be a new person, one who his hand never had the opportunity to touch, and one who was strong enough to break from the incessant cycle that you had been stuck in since the beginning of time. The person you wished not to be was not the one who grew up in a small town in Michigan, it was the one who fell irrevocably and unequivocally in love with Sam.
As you wiped a tear from your cheek, you were terrified that you would never see a lifetime in which he did not exist. Above all else, you feared that even if you escaped the town and the shackles in which it held you with, you would still never be free from the curse of loving Sam Kiszka with every fibre of your being.
TAGLIST: @itsafullmoon @freefallthoughts
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notsoblackandwhite101 · 5 months ago
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Na'lright, so that last ask made me lose my damn mind. Spent the last few hours doing this! Behold, Fergus's family tree... currently. I may tweek it down the line. I previously said in past asks that Fergus was being raised by his parents and siblings in London, but I'm altering that!
Fergus's mum, Vivienne, was born and raised in Ireland, youngest of three pups. Her family were hardcore wild foxes, who rejected all facets of 'civilized' society. They hunted for their food, lived in burrows, ect ect. Only Vivi didn't vibe with that. She was a bit more lazy. It was so much easier to steal from dumpsters than it was to hunt. There were less hunting dogs in the towns and cities to! This started a big row with her folks and her brother Aidan, until she decided to leave. London was the biggest city around, so she snuck on a ship and made her way over. She enjoyed living in London, away from her traditional parents and brother. Things got a little harder when a one night stand unexpectedly left her expectant, but she raised Fergus the best she could. She taught him all about living in the city and while Fergus is a bit of a runt due to a lack of good food in his kit years, Vivi thinks she did alright! (Extra fun note, Vivienne is based on Fergus's design in the pilot!)
Of course, even if the family had a bit of a fight, they never really leave each other alone. Aidan and his wife would come to visit when they could. Aidan was intent on making his nephew appreciate his wild heritage, and maybe try to turn his life around, unlike his mother. Aunt Keeley is just a soft, go with the flow fox who tried to make peace more than anything, and Findlay is very chatty, though he mostly speaks Gaelic, like most of the family can . (Fergus only knows bits and pieces as his mum raised him in England. Findlay is also still learning English so communication can be tough.) Findlay is also very good at hunting, which can be awkward in London, as Fergus is friends with plenty of the 'Prey' around. (Findlay also has siblings, but I'm too tired to think of them now.)
AND FINALLY Aunt Muriel. Eldest of the three. She moved to a nature preserve in Ireland after her leg was injured. She's a 'Species Representative' who teaches other creatures about Foxes and how they live. Aunt Muriel is rather flat and unenthusiastic. She never wanted kid or to get married. She just dose as she pleases without hurting anyone and expects the same as everyone else. She also has a very sharp wit and tongue to match. Aidan and Vivienne both keep their fighting to a minimum around her, as Muriel tends to put them in their place easily enough.
Oh and Aunt Muriel is literally just Sister Michael from 'Dairy Girls' if you want to see what she's like.
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Now these names aren't set in stone yet. I was hoping to find some more traditional Irish names but I'm very tired, so feel free to suggest some! (Also sorry for any spelling errors. Its very late at night/ early in the morning here.)
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