#they have unconditional love for one another
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h50europe · 3 days ago
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Day nine of @bucktommyfluffebruary - Moving in together
Under a clear, sparkling night sky, Tommy stood on the front porch of his cozy home and stared out at the bustling city lights that shimmered like a blanket of stars. The memory of the last time this moment had taken shape haunted him- the day Buck had asked him the life-changing question about moving in together. Tommy's heart had been filled with so much doubt then. He had walked out, his fears chaining him to an emotional prison. Buck had always been understanding, but Tommy's own insecurities and deep-seated fear of heartbreak had made him run.
Tommy took a deep breath and returned to the living room, where Buck sat on the couch, absentmindedly flipping through a book. The unasked question hung heavy in the air, a palpable tension between them. This time, Tommy knew it was his turn to flip the script. He walked over, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Evan, can we talk for a minute?" Tommy said, his voice shaking slightly.
Buck looked up, a mixture of curiosity and concern in his eyes. "Of course, Tommy. What's up?"
Tommy sat down beside him, gathering his thoughts. He needed to explain why he had changed his mind, why this time was different. "I've been thinking a lot about us," he began, struggling to keep his voice steady. The last time we talked about moving in together, I walked out because I was scared. I was scared that if things went wrong, it would break my heart."
Buck's eyes widened slightly, surprise etched on his face. He hesitated, then reached for Tommy's hand, unsure where the conversation was heading.
"But I've realized something important since then," Tommy continued, his voice shaking. "You have been my constant, my strength. I can't function without you. I want to wake up next to you and share the mundane and memorable moments with you. I've been scared because I care so much, but that's exactly why I want us to take this step. My love for you is unconditional."
He looked into Buck's eyes and felt a surge of emotion. "Evan, will you move in with me?"
For a moment, there was silence - a seemingly endless pause that felt like an eternity. Buck's expression was a mixture of surprise and hesitation, processing the weight of Tommy's words. Eventually, a warm smile began to form on Buck's face, his eyes shining with love and understanding.
"I was afraid you would never ask me, Tommy," Buck said softly, his voice filled with emotion. "I've been waiting for this day. Yes, let's make this our home together."
Tommy's heart swelled with relief and joy. The night sky outside seemed to shine a little brighter, as if the universe was celebrating their decision. He had taken another leap of faith. Only this time, Buck was right there, ready to take the leap with him.
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Two weeks later, Buck stood in the doorway of his now-empty apartment, a moving box in one hand. He paused, his free hand gently brushing the doorframe as memories flooded his mind. He thought of Taylor, who had once lived here with him but had chosen her career as a journalist over their relationship. Then there was Natalia, the death doula, who seemed more fascinated by Buck's story of being dead for three minutes and seventeen seconds than by the fact that he was alive and breathing. And, of course, the surreal experience of helping to deliver a baby boy who was technically his, the result of his decision to be a sperm donor. As he thought about the baby boy, a fleeting thought crossed his mind: what if he and Tommy had children of their own someday? He shook his head. First, they needed to move in and see how things worked out. Buck looked around one last time; it had been tumultuous times.
He closed the door behind him with a sense of finality and took a deep breath, ready to begin this new chapter. Buck carried the box filled with the remnants of his past down to his car and drove to Tommy's house, where a new beginning awaited.
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At Tommy's house, they placed this last box among all the others, stacks of cardboard symbols of their lives together. They looked at the sea of boxes, knowing that much work lay ahead to make this house their home. But amid the chaos and the daunting task ahead, they felt a deep sense of unity and purpose.
Buck turned to Tommy, his eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and anticipation. "We can do this," he said, his voice determined.
Tommy smiled and nodded. "Yes, we do."
They hugged, holding each other tightly, finding comfort and strength in their bond. The road to get here hadn't been easy, but as they stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, they knew they had made the right decision. They were ready to face the future together, with love as their guide.
So, amidst the chaos of moving boxes and the promise of a new beginning, they knew they had taken the first real step toward a life together.
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divine-altruism · 3 days ago
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How do you feel about gender? Or having a name? Or attraction as a whole? Is it tied to more mortal instincts, or do you still have some essence of it?
I definitely don't have a gender identity the same way humans do, I just have one out of what I feel is a social necessity. I don't necessarily consider myself a "woman" but I do consider my gender as feminine. In face-to-face interactions, I don't mind being called a woman by those who don't know me. With the androgynous body that I live in, however, I also wouldn't mind being gendered either way. I feel like that information is most important to people who actually know me. My name is something I picked for myself and love very, very much! I don't think Artiya'il was the name I used prior to me living on Earth, but even if I could remember my old name, I would still have to pick a new name because my mother tongue is incomprehensible to humans. As for my attraction, I find that mostly I am not romantically attracted to humans or other nonhumans, but I have a genuine passionate love for all creatures equally! It is still possible for me to have romantic attraction to others if we get close enough, but it isn't very likely. Platonic and familial bonds are the ones I have the most often! For me, I think the way I love is not a mortal instinct, but a nonhuman one! Specifically an angelic one. My love for others as a baseline is constant and unconditional.
How much sense of “human”ness do you feel, and do you see yourself as equal to humans, something more, or like a watcher of life around you?
I feel myself so equal to humans that I don't mind being assimilated with them, or being referred to as one of them! Yes, my lifetime is longer and much more infinite than a human lifetime will ever be. And yes, I hold powers and capabilities totally unfathomable to them. But that doesn't mean much to me! Although I don't know why I'm here, I know that the best thing I can do is enjoy my life in this body while I'm in it, so that means having connections with the creatures around me, and I am so glad for it!
Would you prefer to be in another dimension? Do your senses feel dulled?
Luckily, I don't wish to be anywhere else but here! But yes, my senses are so, so dulled! I had so many more eyes before this body, and could only hear the constant chatter of the telepathic communication between the angels in heaven. That noise never really turned off, but I used to have a body that could handle that much information being processed at one time, so it wasn't overstimulating! This world now is so, so quiet. I only hear my headmates and the world around me.
Do you fear people don’t understand you well enough? Don’t understand us? Have you ever felt like doing something about it?
I do feel a large disconnect from other angels and it weighs heavily on me. I often feel misunderstood by the humans around me, especially when I have to mask my nonhumanity. Doing something about it is exactly why I made this blog! I hoped to find other nonhumans, or other angels and demons.
HEY, Angel !!
Would you care as to describe your experience? I think not enough hear on just how varied and interesting we are, and it would be great to scroll through reblogs of a single post and be able to find those with similar experiences/feelings.
feel free to write whatever but if you would like some prompts:
Have you noticed the world seem more beautiful/peaceful since you’ve found yourself?
How do you feel about gender? Or having a name? Or attraction as a whole? Is it tied to more mortal instincts, or do you still have some essence of it?
How do you feel like you physically look? Do you have any preferences in form? Would you change the way you are perceived if you could - and into what?
How does your day get affected due to your mystical self?
Do you incorporate this sense of self in your hobbies / behaviours?
What does being an Angel or being of divine/holy nature mean to you? Do you consider yourself born here, a newly created angel, or one which has been around for a long time? Do you have any thoughts as to why you were assigned human at birth?
How much sense of “human”ness do you feel, and do you see yourself as equal to humans, something more, or like a watcher of life around you?
Do you feel like you have some higher purpose and reasoning of being here? A meaning of life, if you will call it that.
Do you have any religious connotations tied to your identity?
How did you come to realise who you were, and what signs did you exhibit prior to knowing this?
Do you have any other ‘uncommon’ bits of self apart from being a being of light, in a way? (Therian, otherkin, interests in specific things, neurodivergencies?) YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF YOU DONT WANT TO!!
What’s your favourite thing about the bodily experience of being on earth? Is there any sensation you really like? (Taste, smell, touch, feeling, etc)
Would you prefer to be in another dimension? Do your senses feel dulled?
What’s your stance on mortality and topics tied to that? Do you believe in reincarnation/past lives/fate/destiny/divine intervention/guardian angels/ghosts/heaven & hell/god/meaning of life?
Would you enjoy if others treated you as some highly being and brought you offerings/treated you like a god/submit to you/worked for you?
What’s your stance on the community?
How do you interpret existence - how does it all seem to feel and what do you take away from it, like.. what do you live for? Do you have a sense of some ideal where the more you experience the higher you will achieve? Do you crave something out of life?
Do you have a ‘gut instinct/feeling’ and has it ever been scarily accurate to the point there could be no other possible explanation other than something holy?
Do you believe you are blessed and/or protected by some invisible force?
Where do you believe angels also show themselves? Are they in those stray rays of light of headlights, do they exist in the bite marks of a wounded animal’s form, is it within the ripples of the water, in the breath of the tree that takes in the wine, in the chill upon a high mountain - or is divinity everywhere?
Do you fear people don’t understand you well enough? Don’t understand us? Have you ever felt like doing something about it?
do you feel bored from these questions already - did you enjoy it- would you like more? Did I give you satisfaction? I find joy through writing, it makes me personally feel incredibly divine, and there’s a calling to know more about other individuals in this mystical and extensive world.. we need to stick together - as a whole. Love eachother. Treat yourselves well, too. Do more of what makes you feel fulfilled and happy. There’s so much complexities to life, but we just gotta handle it all with our own minds - but treat your heart and soul with so much kindness and care.. please- take care of yourself. Find whatever works for you and live forever, my friend. My eternal, immortal friend..
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stunnedswallow · 4 months ago
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thought a little too hard about sora and ventus again and almost got sick
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skania · 2 years ago
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Some of the things people say about Akane make me wonder if there's an alternative version of the manga out there somewhere.
Akane doesn't want what's best for Aqua, she's just an enabler—
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All Akane has wanted to do all along is help Aqua the same way he helped her. When Aqua told her that his goal was to kill someone, Akane said she would help because she realized that the best way to support Aqua was to share his burden with him, so he won't feel all alone anymore.
(Spoilers for the most recent chapters under the cut!)
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Just like Akane herself said, it has nothing to do with right or wrong. It's all about being by Aqua's side and carrying that burden with him, so that he won't have to endure the pain alone.
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For Akane, saying I'll help you kill him meant You're not alone. No matter what happens, I'll accept you as you are (just like you were there for me). Still, later we're clearly shown that if it's up to her, she wouldn't want Aqua to get his hands dirty.
When Akane realizes that Aqua is actually lying to himself and that what he actually wants is to be free from his revenge, she switches gears.
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Instead of carrying the burden with him, she decides to carry it for him. Because she wants the best for Aqua, for him to be happy and free.
This is true even now. When Aqua realizes Akane's intentions and tries to cut her off to protect her, her worst fears come true. Aqua is just about to let himself be consumed by his revenge, essentially throwing his life away.
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So since she couldn't save him by being by his side, Akane decides to save him from himself by standing in his way.
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That is her way of sharing his burden.
She's just an enabler—
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Akane made him worse—
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Aqua's self-destructive tendencies don't worsen after Akane becomes his ally. At the contrary, he finds solace in having someone who accepts him as he is.
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Aqua worsens only after he finds out that his father is still alive. Akane had nothing to do with that, at the contrary, she was actively protecting him from that truth.
She's co-dependant on him—
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She's a push-over that—
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Akane was willing to let Aqua go to hell—
Akane didn't want Aqua to suffer, she didn't want him to go to hell. That is the entire reason why she was ready to go face Kamiki on her own.
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But if Aqua chose to go there, if he were to chose that devoting himself to his revenge is what he needs to achieve piece of mind, then she would respect his choice and follow him to hell.
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Just to make sure he doesn't have to suffer through it alone.
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milfbrainrot · 3 months ago
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thank you loris for serving ur entire purpose of having vi briefly hallucinate vander in ur place
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coolnonsenseworld · 3 months ago
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Omg your instagram story is so right! I can’t believe I’ve never even noticed that, probably because in fanon keith and shiro are so close that I’d forgotten that isn’t canon :0
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Deserves this awesome quote which I had to dig out of my sideblog reblogs
#for context - i was complaining how under-served we were to listen how much shiro did for keith and how amazing their relationship is#and then were forced to watch him just recruit him for school and be a decent teacher#like any teacher should#i mean....#any.#like he was just showing basic decency for not throwing Keith away for bad behavior#keith acted as if that man hung the moon#as if he was reliable... took a few punches that were meant for Keith ....risked something for him#wanted to give up his liver or something#gave up his last food in the apocalypse to feed him i dont fucking know#Keith acted as if that guy literally saved his life and we got scenes where Shiro is emotionally manipulating him to stay in school#or to become a leader#never really asking how he feels about it or if he needs help#i thought twice before saying Keith attached to a pile of shit because it was warm#but not thrice#i've re-watched season 1 of Arcane and was so mad about it i couldn't hold it in djdjdjd#i do think they could have a good relationship but what we were /shown/ was just not it too many plot holes to fill#love that the fandom can fill the discrepancies and rewrite those relationships though#and also i was really glad people answered to that story agreeing#i was feeling weird reading all those 'keith and shiro are my fav relationship in the show'#...lance was more warm to the mice than Shiro to Keith '#i feel like it owuld make more sense to me if keith did all of this WHILE being pissed at Shiro for leaving him#or if we saw he finds him unreliable - Shiro was only useful to him as long as Keith followed his rules too#Vander doing all he did for his daughters that shit was unconditional fucking love#vi and jinx never being able to off one another had more raw pure love than that#you know what i mean??? sorry im doing it again.... end of ramble#mezzy out 💀
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keepyourpantsongohan · 1 year ago
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Meaningful Highlights from Sasuke Retsuden:
When Sasuke interrupts his own reconnaissance to untie a fellow prisoner who's being bullied, putting his mission in jeopardy to help a stranger.
When Sasuke is struggling to stand and falls backward into Sakura's arms and she catches him, the same way he caught her during the war arc: Without the strength left to even turn around, Sasuke fell backwards, and a familiar warmth caught him. “I got you, Sasuke.” It was Sakura’s voice.
Sasuke being so detailed-oriented with his friends and comrades that he knows their preferred method of picking a lock, and acknowledging he got his way from Kakashi: Kakashi often used the heat of Fire Style to melt the metal part. Shikamaru inserted a long, thin shadow into the keyhole to turn the cylinders. Naruto would make it move with a very small-scale bit of turbulence. Given that he excelled in Fire Style, Sasuke often followed Kakashi’s example and melted the lock itself.
Sasuke's narration putting how he feels about Sakura and how he copes with distance from her into words, both in narration and out loud: Even if they couldn’t always be together, the fact that Sakura was his wife and his family was never going to change. He was able to think like this thanks to a lesson from a good friend a long time ago. The most important thing was the bond they shared. He had a connection with Sakura that not even distance could touch. Even if he couldn’t see her every day, she was his precious partner.
The revelation that Sasuke was waiting for pink blossoms on a tree to bloom because he missed Sakura: “He used to sit here and stare out the window all the time. But he hasn’t been doing that lately. Not since you came. I always wondered what it was he was looking at, but now, I finally get it. He was wondering when that tree was going to bloom.”
Sakura being literally crushed in the crumbling foundations of a building but still being so selfless that she is concerned about not causing rockfall on someone else, and wishing she could be there to defend the prisoners. And, at the same time, Sasuke desperately manually digging through rubble to pull Sakura out, and being the one to heal her.
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dreamlogic · 2 months ago
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aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh
break. on my burger
#shit chat#family cw#got sicker than i have been in years my bank closed my checking account on accident work is nightmarishly busy#and my mother is sending strings of long voice memos in the family group chat again#i simply will not be listening to them. at most i'll ask my dad or brother for the sparknotes version#bc her pattern for the better part of this year has been radio silence. no attempt at communication whatsoever#and then BAM like 5-10 min worth of voice memos screaming crying sobbing shaking#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY CHILDREN TO FORGIVE ME. I'M CRAWLING ON MY KNEES ON THE DESERT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS REPENTING#WHAT THE FUCK IS FAMILY FOR YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I'M SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I'M ALONE BECAUSE#MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME. I HAVE NO ONE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I'M BEGGING. I NEED HELP I NEED MY KIDDOS AROUND ME PLEASE I'M DYING#followed by several minutes of sordid updates on her shitty miserable life#which is tbf pretty shitty & miserable. she's extremely physically disabled & mentally ill#her partner had a severe stroke a couple months ago and is still recovering. they've both been in & out of hospital#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household#partner's permanently disabled mother also lives with them. plus 2 large dogs 6 cats and 3 each of chickens & ducks#they're in court suing their landlord bc he's trying to evict them but the property is an uninhabitable shithole to begin with#but like. whenever i do make the mistake of responding to one of her groupchat tantrums#she's just like 'oh you know me im a survivor :) i just miss yous is all :) now that you're here i'm gonna bitch about my life for an hour#and ignore everything you have to say and show active disdain & boredom whenever you tell me anything about yourself or your life :)'#and if i offer help she refuses it#like it's just a bid for attention. expecting unconditional love and absolution and salvation from us bc That's What Families Do#she doesn't actually seem to give a shit about any of us as real people. just this ironclad delusion of unconditional family support#that she frankly has not earned#my brother actually did go visit her in the hospital on thanksgiving. driving 2hrs out of his way to do so#and she was a raging passive aggressive bitch to him and threw the gift he'd brought her back in his face#ma'am i know you're Going Through It but so are the rest of us & frankly you've given me zero reason to want to interact w/ ur caustic ass#plus this is petty but yet another way in which she doesn't listen to me & makes no attempt whatsoever at genuine relationship#i've told her numerous times that responding to groupchat voice memos is hard for me. that i love & miss her#and if she wants to see me or needs help or whatever to please contact me one on one either by call or text#nope. refuses to respond to/initiate individual contact. ONLY traumadumping in the fam chat. TLDR MY MOM IS A DISFUNCTIONAL TOXIC NIGHTMARE.
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freakinator · 2 months ago
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its so funny what my standards for relationships are cause id call devotions secret third things but not qprs while id call swagdoons qprs but not secret third things but id call gildeds as both
#mine.txt#these are the default ways i view their relationships and i may switch it up whenever i feel like it#but yeah like. ik qprs are meant to be vague and moldable but thats exactly why i think secret third thing is its own definition#its more like. devotion so intense that the relationship status doesnt matter i suppose??#which i suppose would be qpr to other ppl which is fair#but to me despite the vagueness i do think the relationship status of qprs is important#like if a qpr breaks up then thats it theyve broken up#meanwhile for secret third things it really doesnt matter even the slightest bit#they can love each other; hate each other; have nothing to do with each other; whatever it is they are for the day#but theyll never stop being devoted to one another in some way shape or form#the only way for secret third things to break up is if they stopped being devoted to each other in that unconditional way#regardless of their relationship status#theres a thin line between secret third things and just straight up obsession#and things could very easily become unhealthy#but goddamn when its done well does it go so hard#the main difference between obsession (the relationship not the feeling) and secret third things i think is the sense of mutual respect#which is important in any relationship but is especially important for lining the sand between obsession and secret third things#at least to me#again this is my definition and others may feel that this can apply to qprs still lol
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m00n-pr1sm · 1 year ago
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Amy Dunne Character Analysis
Disclaimer
This analysis will be of Amy’s character from both the book and the movie, although the 2014 movie adaption takes greater precedence with only some additional details and quotes included from the book as it does delve deeper into Amy’s psyche and add further characterization. Thus some traits may be accentuated further than they are in the movie, not being completely faithful to either story. It’s an analysis of Amy in her totality across mediums, of course being entirely my opinion. There are of course adaptational differences but I will not include the major ones from the books (ex. her relationship with Hillary Hand). This is an analysis focusing primarily on Amy’s neuroses she demonstrates and the childhood links to them, it doesn’t cover in-depth the events nor themes of Gone Girl.
Amy Elliott Dunne, the ever enigmatic dual protagonist- antagonist of Gone Girl is one of the most iconic female villains in modern memory, and one of the paragons of the “good for her” trope in media, is, frankly, one of my favorite characters of all time. As such I have been dying to write a full analysis examining her neuroses and characterization. Beneath the cultural perception of just another “crazy psycho” for girls to claim “she did no wrong” or “she just like me fr!”, lies a fascinating character who is masterfully written and developed by Gillian Flynn, as well as perfectly portrayed by Rosamund Pike. Amy Dunne is a character with a deep, complex psychology that I will do my best to thoroughly explore in this analysis.
From Amy’s childhood we first see the emergence of a literal high ego ideal, Amazing Amy. Of course this is the children’s book series created by her parents with a fictionalized version of Amy being the eponymous protagonist. This was a version of herself that rectified her own personal failures. Amazing Amy became a prodigy at cello, when Amy quit at 10, Amazing Amy made varsity volleyball, Amy got cut freshman year. Even in the (at time) final book in the series, Amazing Amy got married, a task Amy had not yet done. The entire book series revolved around Amy always making the most virtuous, the most selfless, the most perfect decisions.
>”With me, regular, flawed, real Amy, jealous, as always, of the golden child.”
An interesting detail in the book that is omitted from the movie is Marybeth’s numerous miscarriages and stillbirths (which totaled 7). All of these girls were named Hope, until Amy was born. Amy expresses her jealousy towards them, as they were always seen as perfect without ever living; meanwhile Amy herself has to live life everyday knowing that she will never truly live up to the Hopes. That she has to try everyday to be the best she can be. Her very birth was mired in the expectation of a perfect child; given that she was practically a gift from the heavens to her parents.
This sets up Amy’s perfectionism, as the childhood experience of never living up to a projected ideal led her to want to be perfect (and as we’ll later see, the expectation that everyone else is too), to live life always through the gaze of another. Evidently this leads to a loss of one’s inner essence, one’s individuality and sense of self.
>“-I’d never really felt like a person, because I was always a product” (Book Quote)
Amy’s obsession with personas can be seen as emerging from this, as she adapts a personality depending on who she’s interacting with, as to always be the most appealing she can, she is Amazing Amy after all.
>”I’m not sure, exactly, how to be Dead Amy. I’m trying to figure out what that means for me, what I become for the next few months. Anyone, I suppose, except people I’ve already been: Amazing Amy. Preppy ’80s Girl. Ultimate-Frisbee Granola and Blushing Ingenue and Witty Hepburnian Sophisticate. Brainy Ironic Girl and Boho Babe (the latest version of Frisbee Granola). Cool Girl and Loved Wife and Unloved Wife and Vengeful Scorned Wife. Diary Amy.” (Book Quote)
This general attitude leads to people trying to impress her as she places herself as someone special and especially someone to keep around. She entices both the characters and viewers of the film through her manufactured charisma and enchantment. However, we’ll see this dramatically backfire in her relationship with Nick, just you wait!
For now we can focus on the beginning of their relationship as well as what I believe to be Amy’s view on romance.
I believe that Amy has an impossibly high standard of love, one that stems from her perfectionism and general inability to let down her guise of being amazing. Not to mention how her parents were a perfect match, Amy even referring to them as soul-mates.
>”They have no harsh edges with each other, no spiny conflicts, they ride through life like conjoined jellyfish—expanding and contracting instinctively, filling each other’s spaces liquidly. Making it look easy, the soul-mate thing.” (Book Quote)
In her childhood it’s implied that she was into romance novels, specifically Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, which obviously contributes to the idealization of romance, of a literal scripted love.
>”You were an alienated teen and only Elizabeth Bennet understood you”
I think this little quote is incredibly indicative; it establishes a sense of alienation, of Amy never quite fitting in and blending with others.
>”So many lessons and opportunities and advantages, and they never taught me how to be happy. I remember always being baffled by other children. I would be at a birthday party and watch the other kids giggling and making faces, and I would try to do that too, but I wouldn’t understand why. I would sit there with the tight elastic thread of the birthday hat parting the pudge of my underchin, with the grainy frosting of the cake bluing my teeth, and I would try to figure out why it was fun.” (Book Quote)
Back to the topic of romance, through these stories it allowed her to imagine her perfect romance: if Amy could find that one person that truly understood her, beyond the illusion, that then would constitute a perfect union of love. She does deep down (whether consciously or not) want to be loved for who she is; not the idealized, palatable, literal marketed version of herself. Thus she holds trust as a premium, expecting that if she does the Herculean task of unspooling and revealing herself to another, that the other person would love her no matter what.
>”Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your spouse, your soul mate, and having him not like you?” (Book Quote)
However all of this culminates in an impossibly high standard of a lover, of a practically divine mythical love; where one loves totally and absolutely. Of course where this neurosis is most demonstrated is in Nick and Amy’s relationship.
Amy comments that after meeting Nick she finally felt like a person as he brought out a side of herself that hadn’t been seen, in her own words “a lightness and an ease”, something that Amy enjoyed. In her eyes they had the perfect relationship in the beginning, Nick was her compliment with the witty banter, with their inside jokes, and charm.
However this doesn’t just vanquish her childhood neuroses, through her desire to be seen as perfect, she modifies herself to be a “cool girl” for Nick, complying endlessly to standards to maintain this perception.
>” When I met Nick Dunne, I knew he wanted a cool girl and for him, I’ll admit, I was willing to try.”
Amy essentially became Nick’s image of a perfect girl, witty, fun, and most of all easy-going and forgiving.
Yet one cannot live forever in images and ideas; and as such, the real, true Amy emerged. The Amy that cares too much, that’s hard to get along with, that is a controlling perfectionist. She also tests Nick through the treasure hunts, weaving in little details about their relationship as to challenge Nick and hope that he remembers the things they do together as deeply as she does. Combined with the 2008 recession and declining health of Nick’s mother (the consequences of which will be explored later). As well as Nick’s growing dissatisfaction in the relationship (evidenced by his worsening performances in the treasure hunts, the cheating, using her for sex and ignoring her otherwise, etc). The illusion both Nick and Amy were living in crumbled; they couldn’t possibly sustain their relationship as they were both striving to fulfill reciprocating images for the other.
One of the biggest parts of her character is Amy’s elitism and entitlement, in which she thinks of herself as someone superior, someone that deserves to be loved absolutely for who she is, although only to people she considers worthy.
>”She’s easy to like. I’ve never understood why that’s considered a compliment—that just anyone could like you.” (Book Quote)
Once again this stems from her childhood, in a seemingly contradictory way, she also sees herself as special for being the one that survived from her mother’s attempts, as well as the fact that her birth was so tumultuous that she would be an only child. From this also stems her entitlement for love.
Amy actively looks down upon women she considers “average”, whom she sees as coming from mediocrity and continuously perpetuating that in their lives. She scoffs at them with her wealthy parents and NYC background until her marriage with Nick crumbles. Only then does she realize that she’s become the very woman she would previously disdain. A woman with a failing marriage, the loss of her previous wealth following the recession, and moving to a failed development in Missouri (What the hell’s in Missouri?) for Nick’s mother.
I truly believe this, combined with Nick’s infidelity, and most importantly the loss of her idyllic love culminated in the iconic Gone Girl plan.
>”Nick took and took from me until I no longer existed, that’s murder. Let the punishment fit the crime”.
Nick took Amy’s identity, her sense of self that she so generously revealed to him and rejected her. Implying that she would only be loved if played the role of the “cool girl”; stripping her of who she really was, losing herself in yet another persona. Although Amy admits she doesn’t really have a personality and lives through personas, she still has a semblance of self that she holds dear.
>”-made me realize that there was a Real Amy in there, and she was so much better, more interesting and complicated and challenging, than Cool Amy”. (Book Quote)
Worse yet, Nick had cheated on her with a “newer, younger, bouncer Cool Girl”, leaving Amy in the dust, surely damaging her pride.
But Amy truly fell in love with her idealized version of Nick, believing that she was responsible for shaping that version of Nick. That she deserved that man in his entirety, of course what gets Amy to come back to Nick is the Sharon Scheiber interview, in which he promises to make up with Amy in just the way that makes her think that Nick is the one person who gets her. He makes the little references to their inside jokes (2 fingers on the chin when they’re not bullshitting the other) and a reference to the end of the treasure hunt (always a contentious issue in their relationship). She’s reminded of who he was, that he was once perfect for her, who else could know how to appeal to her heart in just the right way? With the same passion and conviction she reverses the judgment on Nick, clawing her way back to him. She does so in an especially brutal manner, slashing Desi’s throat with a boxcutter right after he climaxes. Putting aside my enormous personal bias against Desi, he was technically an innocent man, taking a great risk in sheltering Amy. However it’s clear that Amy sees him as merely an asset and something to be disposed of once he serves his value, as another prop in her ever evolving masterplan; she did string him along for years through their letter correspondences. He was just another casualty in Amy’s search for idyllic love. She comes back dramatically, literally falling into Nick’s arms while still covered in Desi’s blood like a dress; fabricating an elaborate story about a love obsessed former boyfriend kidnapping and violating her. Despite the glaring holes in her whole story (If Amy’s marriage was as bad as she made it out to be, why did she go back to Nick so easily? How did she get access to a knife and kill him so seamlessly? Why didn’t Amy do anything when she discovered the stuff in Margo’s shed? etc), law enforcement, media, and the public all fully believe it, infatuated with the persona and narrative that Amy’s created for herself. In the end she traps Nick into the marriage and eventually, the family. The last shot of the film is a haunting recall to the beginning shot of the film, as Amy has both revealed and secured herself to be the master of the narrative, finally obtaining her perfect love, no matter what the cost may have been.
Conclusion
Through a constant demand in Amy’s childhood emerges a need for perfection, simultaneously bringing about a sense of superiority and entitlement. The use of personas and façades facilitate this, painting Amy as the most amazing cool girl for whomever she’s performing for, to feed her need to be seen as perfect and desirable. Yet there emerges a psychological detachment from others; as the need to perform inevitably leads to an internal hollowness. However underneath all these layers there also lies the true Amy who has the deep unconscious desire of wanting to be loved absolutely, to have a perfect union of love where she can reveal herself fully and be loved for who she is truly.
>disclaimer for tumblr lol, this is not me trying to claim Amy was innocent I am fully aware that she’s a terribly entitled and narcissistic person but she can still be complex and have relatable desires & be a person even if she’s massively fucked up!!
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calsvoid · 6 months ago
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yeah kurt is blaine’s one true love but have you forgotten that blaine could’ve been sebastian’s
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pueraeternal · 5 months ago
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Agape: Greek for unconditional love
This poem explores the theme of unconditional love. It emphasizes a love that is all-encompassing and accepting, one that sees beyond superficial flaws and insecurities. The poem suggests that this kind of love is essential for human connection and understanding. It encourages us to look at each other with compassion and empathy, recognizing and accepting each other’s true selves.
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robingivesmemagic · 8 months ago
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sorry im just digging up random characters but im kind of obsessed with alfreds fanfic oc Bruce Jr. and the batman and robin suits having Ⅱ on the front so you know theyre the second ones
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magnusmodig · 1 year ago
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yeah i'm one spoon away from setting the ends of my hair on fire if i'm kindling for a little while at least i'll feel of use... promise me that you'll start where i end and i promise to give you everything that i am and it goes on, and on, and on... we'll go on and on and on in the end all i hope for is to be a bit of warmth for you when there's not a lot of warmth left to go around.
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lesbiifem · 4 months ago
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I'm a gl enthusiasts 🤗🤭🫣😏
Though sometimes I miss small details or maybe I pick up on them but it goes over my head when there's cute moments, I'm just a sucker for intimacy🤭☺️🙈
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brainjuicey · 5 months ago
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for someone that finds it so difficult to connect with peers, its a cruel circumstance to be deprived of any productive familial relationship
#no father a broken mother grandparents who despise us mentally unwell uncles estranged cousins abusive aunts#a lifetime of hurtfully ended friendships#and im crying today after wasting a whole day just because i have nothing that can end this pain because#my mother will always prioritise abusive men and her abusive parents over me and i cant fix her#and i hate her for it. i have so much anger inside me#but she is the only one who has ever claimed to love me#and i will never get another family. ill never have more parents. ill never get my childhood back#i will never know so much love that i only discovered in my adulthood to be something almost everyone else has#and sure i can have a meaningful life of kindness and compassion and responsibility but i will never have unconditional love#this. and now i am free falling through the world#i have to escape and yet anywhere i go i will only be more alone#pacified with feats and impressions and ego. people bragging and trying to attain me. using me. misunderstanding me.#what can i really say to the world? what do i even have to give when im empty?#if one more person says im cool and never makes an effort to know me instead of make them and myself feel ?good? about being ?individualist?#in a way they approve or look up to#they can never understand the pain and separation it takes to be an individual by nature. not choice. not for sport or hobby#for every man I've understood and every friend that ive reassured and validated. ive never once been held myself#ive never been understood and im going to tear concrete apart with my fingernails if i have to feel like this any longer#loneliness so strong i have to build myself a home inside it to survive
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