#and if i offer help she refuses it

[dreamlogic]

aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh

break. on my burger

[divineandmajesticinone]

VAMPIRE HUNTER D: BLOODLUST (2000)

[collegiateanimationfan]

Harumi’s face

I’m in the middle of rewatching season 8 because (I found a streaming platform it is free on), and I am sooooo curious to hear interpretations of Harumi’s “real face” as Lloyd calls it. we know she painted over the mark with makeup, but I would love to know peoples opinions. Personally, I believe they’re scars.

[avirxy]

beauty and beast au but Claire’s the one cursed because she’s the only one I can see literally pissing a sorceress off enough to get cursed. (If we’re going off the original movie Jim would probably offer them a hot meal and a room for the night, knowing him he’d make everything super accommodating)

[syrenki]

Does pretending to be fine on the outside bring you at least some sort of satisfaction? That they won’t see how bad it gets

yesss and it's so selfish and embarrassing, i keep hoping someday they'll all see right through the bullshit and then they'll say "oh my, it was so very bad all along and you never said anything? you withstood it all and never brought any attention to yourself? that's so selfless, i could never, i would have broken earlier, you are so strong. we will help you now, you deserve it now because you never asked for anything!!!" but it never happens and it never will happen and the worse it gets for me the more i put on the cheerful and selfless and carefree demeanor, i get so desperate to keep it all up because if i ever drop the act and start Acting Depressed, start wearing my arms out or stop smiling at everybody all the time, i would be acting selfish, i would be attention-seeking, i would be undeserving of any help at all since i'm simply craving attention. you see what i mean? it's all twisted but i swear there is a logic there - the more desperately i need something to change, the kinder i will act, the milder, gentler, more selfless, quieter, i have to handle it with humility because not complaining and just taking it quietly is what would make me deserving of some care, and sometimes i need it so badly that i'd do anything to deserve it. i keep thinking if i deserved it i would have already received it, only that's not how people function, people go to psychologists or tell their friends 'i'm depreseed' and that's how they get help, not through martyrdom and humility. but i do it the quiet way and the worse things get the quieter and more mellow i become and it will probably go on this way until i kill myself and then people will say "holy shit, she was always so cute and kind and pastel, nobody could have expected this, who could have had any idea?"

[hecksupremechips]

My madoka magica hot take is I like sayaka/kyoko as a ship more than madoka/homura

[heysatanitsyourgirl]

Sometimes I despise my little sister for making me become my mother.

Sometimes It physically pains me to look at her knowing I am no different to my mother and she is no different to me.

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)

but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!

so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"

....

my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!

SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!

[britneyshakespeare]

i was crying in front of a sidewalk tonight and someone in a passing car asked to me through their window "you alright?" honestly didnt even know what they expected

[man-destroyer]

tell us about ancient spanish?

Yeah!

so. In the beginning of my comic (I'm assuming you havent read it, if you have I'm sorry) the main character is getting established as sort of a "master bullshitter" and very lucky. He's not stupid, the reason he's alive is because he reads situations quickly and lies very well... and at this point my editor had been repeatedly treating him with this sort of bumbling idiot trope, so I was already a bit frustrated.

He's caught as a stowaway on a pirate ship, and is bullshitting a treasure hunt so the pirates keep him alive long enough that he could escape. So, he makes a fake treasure map in Spanish, hoping that the pirates won't know any... because if they can just kill him and take the map, they will. And one of them knows Spanish!

So, the joke I put in to resolve the situation (which I kept) was "but can you READ Spanish?" where he's banking on the pirate's illiteracy, and he lucks out because she can't read.

but my editor wanted him to say "but do you know... ancient spanish?" which makes no sense and isnt funny LMAO to me.

There were a lot of instances like this, but this is the one I remember the most because my editor like. argued with me on putting ancient spanish in there... It was a back and forth for a good bit.

[mechazushi]

If The Core Division Three Members Had Gaming Channels...

Kafka Hibino {A.K.A ComfyManGaming}: Mainly Shop Management Sims or just Sims in general. His most popular series and the one that let him go full time as a content creator was his Power Wash sim Story Time where he got to talk about the craziest things that happened to him in his, like, six different cleaning jobs. ( In order; Landscaper, personal maid service, High rise window washer [tied for origin for most of his craziest stories], Nuclear Power Plant Office janitor, Failed attempt at running his own power wash service, and School Janitor with a car detail side job. {Most recent/longest held job/and also tied for craziest story origin generator with Car Detail Horror stories being second). Can be convinced to play atmospheric games like Journey/Abzu/Fire Watch/Anything thought provoking or emotional.

Reno Ihchikawa{A.K.A IchyChill Breakdowns}: Whatever Windette does, but with less insults. Basically Build Breakdowns and Speedrun Tutorials. Carried with the energy of a tired Indian Math teacher trying to teach calculus to 8th graders. Is also [technically] a PNG tuber, but because he's low energy, the PNG doesn't move much.

Iharu Haruichi {A.K.A SharkBAIT}: Two Channels. One is a horror game channel, Both Indi and Triple A. The other is anything casual, but mainly sticks to Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, Coral Island, that sort of thing. Fans like to call the Horror one Anxiety and the non-horror one Anti-Anxiety(Each have their own mascots and like to fight each other like Jacksepticeye and Antisepticeye). He has absolutely accidentally cross posted horror vids onto the non horror channel and vice-versa. The community like to pretend that they don't interact with the other channels and when that sort of thing happens, they pretend they've been exposed to horrors beyond comprehension. (yes, even when the horror channel gets a cutesy vid)

Mina Ashiro{ A.K.A Can(n)onGodess/Pr3ttyW1ttl3K1tty}: Also Two channels, but actively makes sure that no one knows she runs both. One is a live stream of FPS set up as no-commentary/with camera (Mainly colorful ones like Valorant). The other is also no commentary with NO camera and its Sim 3 or 4 tips-and-tricks and Minecraft Aesthetic House Build (Mod and No Mod.)

Kikrou Shinomya:{A.K.A Can_It_Doom?} A STEM major that couldn't find a use for her degree as fast as she liked, so she started a Can it Run Doom? channel as a joke, and now it's evolved into a channel where people recommend different setups like Drumset Controler on a Texas TI-84 Graphing Calculator. (Is also currently in the middle of working on a live action Tank Setup for World of Tanks as a subscriber goal.)

Hoshina Soshiro{A.K.A SwordSingerSUPREME} Any game that involves sword fighting and critiques it either Accurately or HARSHLY. Also streams his HEMA training/tournaments. It's very popular (because everyone find him hot) and has since become a bit of an eclectic channel that is split between his Gaming vids, his HEMA vids, and P.O Box unboxing vids where people send him A LOT of gifts. There's also an over an hour video of him playing Let's Hit Each Other With Fake Swords the Card Game with his older brother (who is also in HEMA.) that he made when the channel hit 5 million subscribers.

✨Bonus✨

Gen Narumi{A.K.A xXGenNarumi420Xx}: Plays anything that's currently trending, but his bread and butter is FPS or Run and Guns. (Has confessed to saying "Would" to the Ultrakill Robot.)

Okonogi Konomi{A.K.A BlossomBear}: Indi VTuber that plays exclusively Indi Puzzle games or Puzzle Platformers. Isn't a singing VTuber so much as one that can and will go in-depth on programming and what goes into a VTube model (She made hers and it has two forms : a chibi, curly white haired, anthro bear girl and a white plushi version with orange blossom motifs.) Can and has demonstrated to be an absolute GOD at Minesweeper

Minase{A.K.A MinAction}: A anime/movie/Western Animation reaction channel. Has an uncanny habit of predicting things before they should be obvious.

Hakua{A.K.A HakuaKooksXP} A cooking channel whose shtick is 1000 Ways To Prepare [Insert Food Here.]. She's still currently working her way through rice.

Haruichi Izumo {Goes by his name} Various product review channel.

Aoi Kaguragi {Also goes by his name} A very well made workout channel.

[heyyallitssatan]

I have made a fic

Theres the ao3 link if you want it, and the fics under the cut

She was always cold these days.

Frozen limbs, a sheen of frost always coating rarely uncovered skin.

It used to hurt, being so cold all the time, but it didn’t anymore. She didn’t feel it anymore, she didn’t feel much of anything anymore. All her emotions, frozen over, a thick layer of ice exacting them, never to be released.

It hadn’t always been like this. Once, she felt things freely, she felt her hands and toes and her lips weren’t permanently purple.

But that was before, before her mother burned her baby brothers face, before she was dragged off to a mental hospital kicking and screaming, before she gave her life to her brothers, before she became the mother hers could never be, before her life became theirs. But most of all, it was before Touya, her other half, her twin, her warmth, died in a blaze that left behind only a too small jaw bone.

Now was different, now was now, and now she was always too cold.

Her toes were the first to go, probably, but her fingers were the first she noticed.

It had been a year since Touya’s death, she was pouring her father tea when she dropped the pot and broke the cup. Her hands were numb, they always were since that night, and she couldn’t keep a hold of it. She was scolded, and disciplined, for her mistake. She spent hours relearning ho to hold a tea pot so that it didn’t matter if she could feel it or not.

It was almost a full year later when she realised it was her hands and feet she couldn’t feel anymore, she could move them, feel the movement, but she couldn’t feel touch, or warmth, or anything but that numbing cold climbing up her arms and legs.

She stopped using her quirk to do things after that, vowed against it, but it didn’t help. Frost slipped from her numb fingers to crystallise on her glass, her socks froze to the tatami mats of their home, and she didn’t notice.

She learned to watch her hands, and her feet, wherever she went, making sure she kept a fight hold of her quirk.

Her breath was next. She didn’t notice until Natsuo mentioned that her breath was clouding by her mouth, just too cold for the air. She checked, and realised her lips had turned purple at some point, nothing extreme, just a tint to her lips that wasn’t quite natural. She realised her skin had taken on an unnatural blush. She was sixteen when she started wearing make up.

She was twenty now, and the numbing cold had climbed up her arms and legs. Everything below mid thigh and shoulder was numb now. She had taken to always wearing thick covering clothes. She wore thick pants and long skirts no matter the weather. Sweaters and long sleeve blouses in the middle of summer. She had always been cold natured, no one noticed.

No one noticed, until she started wearing gloves. They were nice, expensive, and specially made to keep out the cold. If they could keep it out, they could keep it in. People noticed, gloves were too weird, but she was always cold, maybe it was okay.

She couldn’t keep her hands from frosting over anymore, and they always looked a bit blue, she thought that was more worrisome than gloves.

She was right.

She had taken to the hottest showers she could get, and when that wasn’t enough to warm her limbs, she went further. She had the body for a fire quirk, the heat couldn’t hurt her. She started boiling water in the middle of the night, when everyone else was long since asleep, it wasn’t like she could join them anymore. She was always careful to take the kettle of the stove before it could squeal, she cared infinitely more that her brothers got enough sleep than if she got warm. She’d finally take her gloves off, and pour the water over her hands in the sink, fill a small tub to set her feet in, all the while rising steam warmed her lungs.

It was as close as she could get to being warm again. It was as close as she could get to Touya again. Though, she supposed his body was just as cold as hers now. Those were dark thoughts, thoughts she only gave voice to on late nights like these, when no one was around to see the tears freeze to her waterline.

She was always cold, always numb, but she could still feel some things. Love for her brothers, all of them, was the first thing on that list, and sometimes the only thing.

Tonight was one of those times, when she was watching her Father and her baby brother fighting Touya. That was Touya, he was alive. He was alive.

That was all she could think about, he was alive. She lost control of the frost, it was covering the floor her feet were on, the couch she was sat on, little bits of it had started creeping up Natsuo.

She didn’t notice until he yelled at the cold. What did he know about the cold?

For the first time in a long time, her ice cracked.

She couldn’t bring herself to care that he was a villain, she couldn’t care about all the people he’d killed in the process, she couldn’t even herself to care that he’d attacked their Father.

She cared that he’d attacked Shoto of course, but that could be addressed later, after she’d seen him in person, confirmed it was really him, that he was really alive.

She never let herself consider it before, not even in the dead of night when no one was around to see the tears that never fell, it was the only thought she could never let herself give a voice to.

But it was true, he was here, he was alive.

He was gone again.

He left after the stunt, as quickly as he came. But she knew he was alive now, she found him once, she could find him again.

She hated her Father most of the time, deep down under cracking ice that let thoughts like that seep through now, but she couldn’t argue that his connections were helpful, and so was his money. She could afford to pay them to help her, and then to pay them again to keep silent. She couldn’t tell anyone what she was doing, Father would be so angry, and so would Natsuo. She didn’t know how Shoto and Rei would react, but she couldn’t risk that they’d tell the others, she had to do this alone. But what else was new.

She found him easy enough, about two weeks later. It was easy enough she didn’t think he was really hiding anymore. If he didn’t want to be found he wouldn’t have, he proved that many many years ago.

She sent him a message, through a hired hand, telling him to meet her at a nearby cafe, one considered neutral ground, where heroes and villains and vigilantes could meet without worrying about sides and fights. It was safe for them.

He met her there, he expected she’d been the one to send the message, the only one who would’ve wanted to meet him, the only one brave enough, even if she never saw herself that way.

He saw her, sitting at a little two person table with a coffee in hand. She drank too much coffee when they were younger, after Rei was taken, and he can’t imagine she dropped the habit, and if the shaking of her hands is any indication, it’s only gotten worse.

He sat down next to her, and she stared at him for a minute, not saying a word, but she didn’t smile at him, not a rare real smile that she showed only in the safest most vulnerable moments, not even the fake smile she used to placate Enji and calm Natsuo and Shoto. They never noticed, never noticed that that smile didn’t make her eyes twinkle quite the same, didn’t make her nose scrunch up just a bit. It fooled everyone else, but he had been there since she was born, he grew up with that smile, and he knew the difference.

Now she only watched him, and him her. She pushed a coffee toward him, and he broke his gaze just long enough to take a sip. He judged her coffee habit, but he wasn’t much better, at least when they younger, and she knew his order by heart.

That wasn’t his order, at least not his old one, rather it was closer to his order now. A White Russian, and it looked like she was sipping on the same.

“Since when do you drink?”

“Since Shoto and Natsu left and it’s just me and dad in the house.”

He huffed a humourless laugh, and so did she. Frosty breath fogged in front of her as she did, and that’s when he took note of the thick sweater, and winter pants, and gloves, all in the middle of August.

He was always hot, and honestly he was itching to get out of the meagre layers he was in now. He didn’t know why she was wearing so many thick layers, sure she was always cold, but he was pretty sure she was never ‘parka in summer’ cold. When he said as much she just huffed another laugh and shrugged.

He grabbed her hand, and she flinched, and that almost hurt, but it wasn’t the flinch of a civilian who just got grabbed by an S rank villain, it was the flinch of an abused little girl that hadn’t expected anyone to touch her. Scratch that, it hurt worse.

He wasn’t a family man, he hated Rei for abandoning them, He hated Enji for obvious reasons, he didn’t quite hate Shoto, but he was certainly angsty that he replaced him, and at best he felt indifference towards Natsuo. For some reason, he could never find it in himself to hate Fuyumi. Even at the lowest, when he hated the entire world, he couldn’t hate her. He could only remember how she patched his wounds, cooled his burns, loved him through everything, despite everything. He didn’t have room in his charred heart to live anymore, but she was spilling over with it, love for her brothers, her students, anyone who walked through their home. She even found it in herself to love some part of their parents, a part long gone, but she remembers it, loves it.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever be that strong, that brave. He left, he was a coward. But she stayed, protected her brothers, took care of them, carried the burdens of her family all alone.

He was built for the cool calm of the ice, but he got fire.

She watched him closely, her brother, Touya, Dabi, she didn’t care what his name was now, he was her brother, and he was alive.

She saw how his skin was stapled together, skin grafts and burns patched together. It almost looked like her first attempt at quilting, before she realised she was better at crochet. It was ugly and uneven, but she loved it anyway.

She saw the heat that radiated from his skin, a heat she had felt when they were young, heat that warmed her too cold skin, that fought the frostbite that threatened to over take her at every turn, when she couldn’t control her quirk as well. She missed that heat, until it grabbed her hand, warmth seeping through her glove.

She flinched, and she saw the hurt that crossed his face. She never meant to abuse that look, never meant to hurt him. She wasn’t scared of him, how could she be?

He was her brother, even after everything, he was still that. And she loved her brothers so much. More than herself.

She loved Touya, she loved that he could get angry. He could show his anger in ways she couldn’t, he was free and expressive in a way she couldn’t be. Her thoughts and feelings were numbed, hidden under layers of ice, but not his. They burned hot and bright and he made you see them, see him.

She wished she could be so visible.

But he cracked her ice, with each day she saw the breaks get wider, deeper, and things started leaking out. Her hatred for their father, something she buried so deep inside she could never feel more than the barest irritation at him, a super volcano hidden beneath the ice, ready to explode.

She doesn’t think she’ll ever be so strong as to let herself blow up, not like him. She wishes she could.

She was built for raging fire, but she got ice.

He grabbed her hand, much to both of their surprise. He pulled off her glove, and she let him. He winced at the sight of her hand, cold and pale. She was watching him, holding her hand so gently in his, but she didn’t react.

“I can feel it,” she whispered, like she feared if she spoke any louder it would stop, like she only knew how to speak softly and calmly, but her face betrayed nothing. She had schooled her expression into blank calm so long ago it seemed she had forgot how to make anything else.

“What?”

He sounded angry, his voice always sounded angry, burnt thought scratching against his vocal cords, matching his permanently scowling face, made that way through surgeries or circumstance, no one knew.

“I can feel your hand, it’s warm,” her voice finally expressed something besides soft and calm observation, something akin to awe, surprise maybe?

She hadn’t felt warmth, or anything really, in her hands in so long, she couldn’t remember it.

He seemed to understand, he knew how her quirk worked as well as she did, and he knew what it felt like to use his quirk without her there, burning from the inside out. He imagined freezing was similar, her nerves were dead, just like his.

She felt his heat bleed into her hand at the same time it seemed as though the cold seeped into his.

They sat like that for only a moment, before it began to hurt. Permanent frostbite meant permanent numbness, and as she warmed up for the first time in years she could finally feel the pain that followed numbness. She knew he felt the same.

It had been too long, they had been without their balance too long, and now it hurt too much to go back.

They sat for awhile, but they didn’t say much, there’s was too much to say, too many years to relive, but nothing felt important enough to say.

Fuyumi knew she wouldn’t stop his goals, she didn’t try. He knew he couldn’t get her to come with him, he didn’t try. They should’ve tried.

They left, unfinished drinks still sitting on the table.

They didn’t say goodbye, they didn’t say anything. They just walked away, in opposite directions. Neither of them favoured literature, neither of them ever read Orpheus’ story, neither of them had ever learned his lesson.

They both turned around, wanting just one last glimpse of their sibling, their twin, their balance, before they left for good, before this became their new before.

They turned, and looked, and ran.

They hugged, the only ones who could touch each other with freezing or burning, the only ones immune to the pain the other lives everyday with. They couldn’t hug for long, their balance wasn’t right anymore, it hurt too much, too many jagged edges cutting against each other, two extremes that never should have met, but never could have left each other alone.

They hugged, it hurt, they didn’t stop.

They whispered, in equally trained voices, with equally drilled expressions, each others names, the only names they ever really felt like they owned.

“Ya-nii”

“Yu-nee”

Then, after a moment longer, they pulled apart, blood evaporating on skin, tears freezing on waterlines, they turned and left. And they both smiled, as close to the real smiles they wore as kids as they thought they would ever get again.

Touya wasn’t made for love, he was made for rage, clawing at his throat until he let it out.

Touya wasn’t made for love, but maybe there was an exception.

Fuyumi wasn’t made for rage, she was made for love, care and protection overflowing from her like the tears she couldn’t shed.

Fuyumi wasn’t made for rage, but the cracks were growing, and lava lived beneath her ice.

They were polar opposites, one left and the other stayed. One killed, the other saved. One burned, the other froze. But they were cut from the same cloth, a cloth woven of love and rage, and when you looked closely, ice burns as bright as fire.

[izzy-b-hands]

Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)

[httpghostface]

alright

in light of recent events I have blocked user @/giseokies I know that some of you guys might not know who that is she went by melli a while back but came back as mel please refrain about talking to her about me I have a reason on why she is being blocked and I'm not the only one blocking her she quiet literally made me have a panic attack and so much more before she left she told me things I will not share here and threatened herself when I wouldn't answer texts fast enough just know I do not feel comfortable around her so just don't say nothing about me please and thank you

[quaranmine]

good morning last night i told my mom about firewatch au after she mentioned the number of tabs i have on my computer, and she seemed both delighted and amused at the sheer level of rabbit-hole research i have conducted on about this subject and was very interested

she is also trying to persuade me to take an extra week off in June so we can go to Yellowstone and Grand Teton together-

[kirishwima]

the differences between my old work and my current one are. so jarring