#ANYWAYS. yeah. thats ancient spanish

[man-destroyer]

tell us about ancient spanish?

Yeah!

so. In the beginning of my comic (I'm assuming you havent read it, if you have I'm sorry) the main character is getting established as sort of a "master bullshitter" and very lucky. He's not stupid, the reason he's alive is because he reads situations quickly and lies very well... and at this point my editor had been repeatedly treating him with this sort of bumbling idiot trope, so I was already a bit frustrated.

He's caught as a stowaway on a pirate ship, and is bullshitting a treasure hunt so the pirates keep him alive long enough that he could escape. So, he makes a fake treasure map in Spanish, hoping that the pirates won't know any... because if they can just kill him and take the map, they will. And one of them knows Spanish!

So, the joke I put in to resolve the situation (which I kept) was "but can you READ Spanish?" where he's banking on the pirate's illiteracy, and he lucks out because she can't read.

but my editor wanted him to say "but do you know... ancient spanish?" which makes no sense and isnt funny LMAO to me.

There were a lot of instances like this, but this is the one I remember the most because my editor like. argued with me on putting ancient spanish in there... It was a back and forth for a good bit.

[suckitsurveys]

What is your favorite type of cat? Ramona, Saké, and Friday.

If you could delete any word from existence, which word would it be and why? Tr*mp. It makes my blood curdle when I hear that name.

What is your favorite swearword? Fuck.

What celebrity do you wish you looked more like? I’m okay.

If you had your way, what color(s) would you dye your hair? I do have my way and it’s currently blue and purple.

Do you support the LGBTQ community? If not, state your reasons. You are entitled to your opinions. It’s not an opinion if it’s diminishing an entire group of people--you’re just an asshole.

Do you like seafood? If so, what is your favorite? If not, what is your favorite type of food? I LOVE seafood. Crab is my favorite.

Have you ever gone vegan/vegetarian? Nope and I never will. I’m trying to cut back on my red meat intake though and stick to fish and poultry only.

Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? I have.

If you could master any sport, which one would you choose? Swimming.

If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? What would you say to him/her? I’d like to line up every republican and punch each one in the face.

Do you play any unique instruments? No.

In school, did you take any classes to learn how to play any instruments? No.

Do you like applesauce? Sure.

Do you know any German words? Sure.

How about any Portuguese words? No.

Did you actually pay attention in Spanish class? Yeah.

If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? If you don’t drink Monster, why not? I don’t like energy drinks. Do you think any of your family members voted for Mitt Romney? Did you/would you? I don’t know.

Do you have a reason to hate anyone at the moment? Yes.

Is it easier for you to forgive or to pretend it never happened? Depends.

Are you one of those people who remembers EVERYTHING? I remember a lot of really weird details about things.

Do you sometimes pretend you don’t remember something about someone? No? I can’t think of a reason I’d need to do this?

Do you own any Webkinz stuffed animals? If so, do you have a Webkinz online account? Do you still go on it? No.

If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? I never had one.

Do you own any Nintendo video game consoles/handhelds? I have a GBC and a DS laying around somewhere.

Do/did you ever own a Blackberry? Nope.

Do you know the band Noah & the Whale? Yes.

Do you listen to Ingrid Michaelson? I don’t not listen to her.

If you have a song stuck in your head, what’s the name of it & the artist? Imagine by Ariana Grande.

Do you know who Sue Lyons is? How about Dominique Swain? Nope.

Unpopular opinion time. Be honest. The Beatles - overrated or not? Both.

What religion were you raised in? Are you still that religion, if you had one? I wasn’t raised in any religion. We weren’t baptized. My mom was a very spiritual person and I am pretty sure she believed in God in one way or another, but she didn’t follow a religion. She had her own version of faith. My dad just didn’t care about that stuff at all, haha. They were both respectful of people who did follow religion and I felt like they would have been/would be cool with whatever paths my sister and I decided to lead.

What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? I like the idea that people live on in spirit in nature, and that there are spirits that control nature and shit, whatever that would be called.

What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? Greek.

What was/is your favorite subject in school? Sociology.

What was the last name of your second grade teacher? Mrs. Yamanaka.

Who was your favorite teacher of all time? My Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Furuta. She taught us so much; not just basic kindergarten stuff. We learned about different cultures and she set up these “trips” where we’d pretend we were in an airplane and “fly” to the country we were learning about. She would set up these “shops” where we could “buy” food and trinkets from the country with fake money. We had an EPIC fort we build out of boxes. We celebrated the Chinese New Year and did a ton of origami. I remember her class vividly and fondly. She recently reached out to my sister (who also had her) and I which was a really nice surprise and showed how much she loved her students.

Were/are you a teacher’s pet? In that class ^ yes. I could already read by the time I started Kindergarten and she’d ask me to read to the class every once in a while, which I LOVED.

Do you like pink lemonade? I don’t mind it but it’s not my first choice.

Do you have a Spotify account? I do.

Firefox or Chrome? Firefox for work, Chrome for everything else.

Safari or Internet Explorer? Neither, thanks.

Windows or Mac? Windows.

Desktop or laptop? Either is fine. I’m on a desktop currently at work.

What’s your favorite U2 song, if you have one? Eh.

What’s your favorite song that’s playing on the radio, if you have one? Anything Ariana right now.

What’s a song that you remember from your childhood? Graceland by Paul Simon.

Are/were your parents hippies? Yup.

Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No because I am white.

If you had a baby girl right now, what would her middle name(s) be? I am never ever ever having kids, but if hell froze over and we did have a daughter, her middle name would be Kay because it’s my mom’s middle name and also Mark’s mom’s middle name.

What heritage does your last name imply? German/Czech.

How about your middle name? I just looked it up because I never knew but apparently it’s Roman?

And first? My first name is Hebrew.

What is your heritage, anyway? German, Czech, Jewish, Finnish, Swedish, some other shit.

Were your parents born in the United States? Most importantly, were you? If not, what country? Yes.

Name an American stereotype? Lol.

Name a stereotype from your country/culture? Nah.

Do you have any paint in your house? Is it wall paint, art paint, or something else? I have art paint.

Do you ever swing at the playground & listen to music? No.

What was your favorite age so far? I don’t know.

What was your least favorite age so far? I don’t know.

Were you/are you in a rush to grow up? Nah.

What’s your opinion on tattoos in the workforce? How about piercings? I see no issue with either.

Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? Why or why not? Nope. Why should it?

Do you know the band The Last Place You Look? No.

If not, you should check them out. Do you like A Day To Remember? If not, they’re a lot like The Last Place You Look. Cool story.

What is the most annoying commercial you’ve seen/heard this past week? I saw this ad on a YouTube video the other day that was selling some menstrual cup thing and it kept saying how you can’t have sex on your period?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

What is your favorite holiday? Halloween and Christmas.

What holidays do you choose not to participate in, but others celebrate? I’m sure there are a few.

“Happy Holidays,” “Merry Christmas,” or “Merry X-Mas?’ Whatever.

Does it even matter to you which one people say? No.

Why is that every major Christian holiday adopts Pagan traditions in its celebrations? Uh.

[stephaniegeorge]

Camino De Santiago - my experience

Ooo you wanna know about the camino?

Thanks to the 20 odd people who have messaged me asking “Why on earth are you walking across Spain Steph you crazy”, I’ve decided to write a lil post. Look it might be massive. I have no idea, which is funny because I have no freaking idea about this thing even after 2 days.

Um, so I’ll start off by briefly explaining what the Camino de Santiago is. It’s a catholic pilgrimage that ends at the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela. Legend says that it is a pilgrimage where all of your sins are forgiven… My fingers are crossed. Over time however, many people choose to do the camino for different reasons other than religion - some of them being spiritual, needing a break or just wanting a challenge.

There are many different routes, the most popular being the french way (which is what I chose to do). The beginning of the french way starts in St Jean Pied de Port, which is on the french side of the Pyrenees. It is just over 800km long and goes through north western Spain. During the camino, you cross small villages, ancient towns and gorgeous scenery. Everyones camino is different! Some people start at different points, some choose to walk from Santiago to St Jean, and some cross through the different routes along the way.

Before I babble on about my experience and give a few tips, I’ll pre babble on why I chose to do this.

I heard about this trek from my aunty in December 2015. After a pretty horrid year, I guess you could say that I wasn't in the greatest headspace. I hated uni, I’d been constantly injured for a number of years and all I wanted to do was travel but I had no money. The camino is cheap. You can do it off 15 euro a day or less if you really wanted to. That really stuck in my head. I ended up leaving uni anyway in 2016, and I decided that this was going to be an outlet in which i could clear my lil brain. Also was looking to gain some confidence as well.i

Arriving/Day 1

I caught a flight from Melbourne to Paris, then caught a train down to St Jean Pied de Port. I had booked an airbnb (linked) for the night as I was arriving at a later time. If you are arriving after 2pm time, I strongly suggest pre booking a place to stay as albergues tend to fill up by that time!

St Jean was honestly one of my favourite places. It is stunning and the atmosphere is buzzing as everyone is so excited to get up in the morning and start walking!! Make sure you get a good sleep on the first night, as the walk over the Pyrenees the next day is by far the hardest part of the camino.

Why the hardest day is the first I will never know, but I wasn't exactly expecting this to be super hard. I was pretty lucky to meet 3 lovely irish ladies (the first lot of irish ladies) at breakfast and we walked together for the next few days. Within the first 2km, you reach super steep hills that make you think that it isn't going to get any worse than this. But they do, and the terrain gets even worse as well. I sound as if this is torture, something that you wouldn't even want to do. But it’s the views and the hype of the first day that really gets everyone going. Unlike any other days on the camino, there is only 1 place in the 1st 27km that you can stop at (which is around the 13km mark). It’s definitely the day you stop to take the most photos. You pass through beautiful mountains, endless greenery and get to be amongst some gorgeous horses! The first day ends at Rounsevelles for the majority of people and other than a hotel, there is only 1 albergue to stay (it is pretty huge and you wouldn't have a problem finding a bed). I slept like a baby that night.

I’m not going to do through every day, as most of them become a blur. A blur thats pretty common in my life back home: Get up, walk, eat, walk, eat, sleep. I will however run through some of the highlights I had!

Meeting people!

I am so glad that I came on this myself and I highly recommend that if you choose to do this, you come alone! There is saying that goes around on the walk: “You walk alone, but you are never really alone”. Whenever you pass somebody on the camino or vice versa, everyone says “Buen Camino!” which basically means “Have a good camino” (make sure you do this… some people get crabby if you dont)

I was pretty lucky to meet the people I did. The first of them being the Irish ladies - Emma, Maureen and Eibhlin. We walked the first 4 days to Pamplona together (my favourite city) and had the most delicious pasta and pizza. I was pretty sad to say goodbye to them, other people who had started at the same time as us thought I was Irish too which became a running joke for the rest of the camino!

Who was next… Ah! Yes MORE IRISH LADIES and a bunch of men. I’d come across someone I didn't exactly like… We just didn't click (You get that on the camino, just like you do at home). Being the person I am, I couldn't exactly say “Fuck off”. Anyway, when I heard these lovely voices behind me I quickly latched on like leech.

So in the new group I found (and continued on with) we had 3 ladies from Ireland (Deirdree, Cathy and Marianne), 3 men from England (John, Paul and Harry), 1 from Denmark (Bo), 1 from the USA (Kevin) and 1 from Tasmania (Trevor)- my singing partner. So many different personalities, yet we all just meshed together. I think this was when I truly felt the most comfortable on the camino, as I felt respected and supported the whole time I was with them.

Everyone you meet on the camino has a different story about why they are doing it. I’ve always found that it is easier to talk about personal things with strangers because it’s unlikely that they know anyone that you know, and you are more inclined to be completely honest and put yourself out there. I learnt many lessons from many people.

Along the way, we met another 2 American gals from California. They were 20, which was pretty cool as I had only met one other person close to my age. I don't think I have played that many games of cards in my life! Halle taught me that I hate frisbee.

Being alone

There is nothing better than some alone time! I loved getting up early and walking by myself. If I wanted to walk 10km that day, I could. Or if I wanted to stop and rest for a bit, I could and not have pressure from other people to keep going. Putting in my headphones and jamming out for 3+ hours was sick, and I definitely got a lot of good thinking done.

In saying that though, sometimes being alone sucked. I was pretty much by myself for 3 or 4 days and in that time, I hurt my knee real bad, fell down the stairs in front of 20 odd people and ended up balling my eyes out, walking an entire day in the rain and getting lost. In hindsight, it forced a bit of independence out of me.  

Choosing to stop

I contemplated stopping my camino a number of times, but somehow things got better each day and I was able to get myself to my next destination. With a bad knee, blisters and my shin, I really didn't think that I was going to catch a break. I think mentally more than anything, it hurt. It wasn't until I got to Villafranca that realised I had a problem that from experience, doesn't end well at all. It was pretty tough stopping with only around 7 days to go, because I knew if I really wanted to, I could suck it up and limp the last 200km. But the last thing I wanted was to be on crutches for the rest of my holiday. 

You can always come back to the camino! 

FEW TIPS

Just a few little things that might help you if you decide to walk the camino/part of it!

Train PROPERLY: Get your bag and your boots a few months before, fill it with 10% of your body weight and walk. And do it again and again.

Get up early: Walking before 6.30am is beautiful, especially in summer. It’s not too cold and it makes the day go faster as well. Also helps when finding a place to stay as places can get booked out in peak season! Although I didn't go to Sarria, apparently it is pretty hard to find a place to stay if you don't leave early or book ahead!

Avoid pilgrim meals: One of my biggest regrets. The pilgrim meal sounds awesome, for around 10 euro you get 2 meals, a desert, wine, bread and water. The majority of the time they are pretty average (it’s almost like they have plates of food ready to go and zap it n the microwave). A lot of places you stay in have a kitchen, and it’s much cheaper to cook your own food. It’ll probably taste better as well.

Trekking poles: I didn't bring trekking poles because i didn't think i was going to need them. But let me tell you, if Jim hadn't of given me that one pole, i would have stopped before I got to day 7. If you haven't hiked much, GET THEM.

BLISTERS: So I had a reputation along the camino for having the most fucked up feet. I think I tried every single method to get prevent them/treat them, but seriously the best way is just leaving them. Compeed is good if you are prone to blisters in certain areas, but as soon as you have any sort of blister or even rubbing, putting compeer on just spreads it out and causes more blisters. It also keeps moisture in, which is the opposite of what you want. I found simply wrapping around the blister with a bandage much more comforting than anything.

Learn some spanish: Locals like it when people make an effort. After St Jean, many of them didn't speak english or very much at all. Learn key phrases and words! It makes things a lot easier + you also feel like you're a lil more cultured.

SO YEAH. If you have read all of this, my god. Well done. I hope it didn't make sense.

[neubauje]

Ancient jewish puns

[3:59:44 AM] neubauje: lol you should have seen me today

[4:00:07 AM] neubauje: I went on a mini-rant about my "own" religion to my innocent bystander friends

[4:00:17 AM] neubauje: they didn't say a WORD

[4:00:32 AM] Spazfox: Fun times.

(this is where I would insert a line break if I knew how)

Nie, [25.04.17 13:56][throws cold ham at]

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 13:56]um

Nie, [25.04.17 13:57]Thats what im eating

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 13:57]what's ham made out of dumbass

Nie, [25.04.17 13:57]Pork, but last i checked you didnt eat kosher

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 13:57]bruh I haven't eaten pork in 10+ years

Nie, [25.04.17 13:58]Bruh you never told me that

Nie, [25.04.17 13:58]Just that you hated bacon

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 13:58]and what is bacon made of

Nie, [25.04.17 13:58]You can hate bacon without hating pork dumbass

Nie, [25.04.17 13:58]Dont try to guilt trip me for you not tellin me shit lol

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 13:59][ ���� Sticker ]

Doom, [25.04.17 13:59]Funny story that shows my Spanish has clearly deteriorated. So I'm at a cafe and they have 'pata' for sale and I'm like 'ah, a duck sandwich. I fucking love duck I'll have it'. So there I am happily eating my sandwich and my mum pops back from some sort of appointment and she's like 'you know that's pig's foot right?'. Pata means foot. Pato is duck.

Nie, [25.04.17 14:00]LOL

Doom, [25.04.17 14:00]I was wondering why it was so fatty and stringy

Nie, [25.04.17 14:01]well now you know you like the taste of pata

Nie, [25.04.17 14:01]Maybe not the texture though

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:23]I don't prefer most pork things, but I'll eat it if that's what's for lunch iykwim

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:23]Keeping kosher is waaay too much trouble in america

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:24]And I do like a good cheeseburger

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 14:24]pork is the easiest to avoid so that's what I cut out

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 14:24]but you'll pry my cheese and meat tacos from my cold dead hands

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:24]What about shrimp and catfish

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 14:24]never been a fan of seafood

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:25]Well there you go

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:25]What I always found ridiculous about keeping kosher is the "building a wall around the torah" aspect... When they build a wall around the wall and then a wall around that wall

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:27]Like they take the line "don't boil a calf in its mother's milk" and instead of taking away "hey maybe we shouldn't be unnecessarily cruel and thoughtless to animals" they ended up with "don't mix milk with meat"

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:27]Including chicken meat, which doesn't even lactate??

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:27]Noooo problem mixing chicken meat with eggs though

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:28]As for which animals are/are not kosher? Totally arbitrary. They were based on classifications at a time when bats were still considered birds

Randy Skayvage, [25.04.17 14:29]Not necessarily. If you consider it in terms of which foods would/wouldn't spoil quickly or have the potential to be dangerous health-wise.

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:29]At the time? Maybe. These days, no longer relevant

neubauje, [25.04.17 14:30]But that's all the ranting about my own religion that I have time for right now I got to be going to work

[4:04:25 AM] neubauje: do NOT feel obligated to read all that

[4:04:31 AM] neubauje: the top bit is mostly for context

[4:04:55 AM] neubauje: as it turns out, I still silently hold a grudge against my more conservative family members

[4:06:39 AM] neubauje: the reasonings they give for still being as observant as they are have always seemed like indoctrinated bullshit based mostly in faith and tradition

[4:07:03 AM] neubauje: like, I GET tradition? as in, a way to spiritually connect with your ancestors? but like... there's a line, yo.

[4:07:16 AM] neubauje: and faith, I just have zero patience for

[4:07:33 AM] Spazfox: It's almost like rules dreamed up in the bronze age and sold as being holy are kinda dumb. :P

[4:07:45 AM] neubauje: almost!!

[4:07:56 AM] Spazfox: Bats are birds, ya know.

[4:08:02 AM] neubauje: -_-

[4:10:37 AM] neubauje: so do I consider myself jewish? kinda. if one can be a secular jew, that's what I am. in the spirit of understanding and acknowledging my ancestry, I learn the history, I learn the rules and the reasons, I learn the Hebrew. but I make my own decisions and lifestyle from there thank you very much.

[4:10:51 AM] neubauje: and honestly, if you ask me, the best parts of Judaism are all about that kind of mindset anyway

[4:31:28 AM] neubauje: aha, after doing some more research on the passage in question, I see now that there are TWO words in the "birds not to eat" section which both have very little context elsewhere in the torah... so scholars are pretty much guessing that at least one of them means "bat" but they aren't sure which one, and what the other one would be

[4:31:53 AM] neubauje: that's the trouble with dead languages :/

[4:32:28 AM] neubauje: I wanna know how they managed to figure out what the Hebrew word for "hyrax" was... I don't recall there ever being any other context for a hyrax

[4:32:57 AM] Spazfox: You know, somebody should come up with a method for working out how the world actually functions instead of just using guesswork and folk wisdom.

[4:33:07 AM] neubauje: you mean science?

[4:33:16 AM] Spazfox: Something like that.

[4:35:53 AM] neubauje: yeah basically this whole chapter reads like a beginner's guide to virology

[4:36:08 AM] neubauje: they even mention carcasses falling into earthenware which must then be shattered

[4:36:20 AM] neubauje: because it won't air out like clothing or wooden vessels will

[4:36:36 AM] neubauje: they were TRYING to science, they just weren't very good at it yet

[4:37:51 AM] Spazfox: Yeah, it kinda took people a while.

[4:38:11 AM] Spazfox: And, like, books and stuff.

[4:39:01 AM] neubauje: yeeeahhhh about four or five thousand years, give or take

[4:48:09 AM] neubauje: oh my god are you kidding me

http://thetorah.com/meat-and-milk-origins-in-the-text/

[4:48:24 AM] neubauje: okay so the milk and meat thing? turns out it has nothing to do with cooking at all

[4:48:34 AM] neubauje: it's just a turn of phrase for "hey don't procrastinate"

[4:48:42 AM] Spazfox: HA!

[4:49:17 AM] neubauje: even the guys looking at it in the second context have completely missed that it STILL works as "hey don't procrastinate" just a little more of a pun based on what they were saying not to procrastinate about

[4:50:00 AM] neubauje: (which was don't WAIT until the animal has already died before you eat it, make sure it dies by your hand... because illness is a thing that might have killed it)

[4:50:27 AM] neubauje: omfg

[4:50:32 AM] neubauje: I just... I can't anymore

[4:50:44 AM] neubauje: the ancient jews made a fucking pun

[4:50:55 AM] neubauje: and people are like "hurr durr no more cheeseburgers"