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#in a way they approve or look up to
brainjuicey · 21 days
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for someone that finds it so difficult to connect with peers, its a cruel circumstance to be deprived of any productive familial relationship
#no father a broken mother grandparents who despise us mentally unwell uncles estranged cousins abusive aunts#a lifetime of hurtfully ended friendships#and im crying today after wasting a whole day just because i have nothing that can end this pain because#my mother will always prioritise abusive men and her abusive parents over me and i cant fix her#and i hate her for it. i have so much anger inside me#but she is the only one who has ever claimed to love me#and i will never get another family. ill never have more parents. ill never get my childhood back#i will never know so much love that i only discovered in my adulthood to be something almost everyone else has#and sure i can have a meaningful life of kindness and compassion and responsibility but i will never have unconditional love#this. and now i am free falling through the world#i have to escape and yet anywhere i go i will only be more alone#pacified with feats and impressions and ego. people bragging and trying to attain me. using me. misunderstanding me.#what can i really say to the world? what do i even have to give when im empty?#if one more person says im cool and never makes an effort to know me instead of make them and myself feel ?good? about being ?individualist?#in a way they approve or look up to#they can never understand the pain and separation it takes to be an individual by nature. not choice. not for sport or hobby#for every man I've understood and every friend that ive reassured and validated. ive never once been held myself#ive never been understood and im going to tear concrete apart with my fingernails if i have to feel like this any longer#loneliness so strong i have to build myself a home inside it to survive
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pinacoladamatata · 2 months
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blink and you'll miss it moments around skyhold....
#solavellan#solas#gotta put out some tender stuff to balance the chaos target team leader solas has caused.#look i just need to go feral in the tags for a moment#okay the fucking. what's he call himself? the great adversary of her people's mythology....falls in love w a woman being forced into a role#not unlike his own#i t makes me c r a z y#like at one point he's all ooooh we're elves need to make sure the humans trust us to ensure safety. gives them a castle......#then he's all ''ooh you cant change the way your legend is getting out of hand. might as well accept it''#but he disapproves if you lean into it/call yourself the herald.#he approves of you fighting against the status quo. encourages sera to sow chaos and has a VERY interesting convo w her about power#''what lop of the top?'' ''yes.'' ''well what's that do except make room for a new top to come and fuck it all up?''#at which point he fuckin STUTTERS and is like. oh fuck. you're right. my bad. and then he shuts up in quiet contemplation#he's clearly wrestling w himself. and Ohmygod the felassanstuff.#like the Guilt. the Regret.#haunting that fucking rotunda.#and yet he's so in love w lavellan if they go that route.#like clearly some stuff was missing/fumbled in game. but like#how he fuckin screams for the inquisitor at the well?????!?! OK BOI?!#im just. the dread wolf. great adversary of the dalish pantheon.#turns out to be some somber grim guy with a fatalistic sense of humor who hates tea and greatly values free will#pina art
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sonicattos · 2 years
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always thinking about this….,,., they make me extremely mentally unstable… look how happy shadow is.. he’s having so much fun,,..,. i don’t think anyone else can make him this excited,,,….,,,.. b bbesties
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canisalbus · 1 year
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For how much Machete is described by others as off-putting, he really is a beautiful dog. Does Vasco ever tell him so? That his eyes make him look earnest, his fur the most comforting shade of white like cream, the way his ears catch light like stained glass? If someone doesn't tell him so, he'd forever think he was ugliest duckling
I think Vasco definitely tries, sincerely and often, but Machete is very reluctant to accept compliments and positive feedback. Especially if it's about something as personal and innate as his looks.
#he quietly spends a lot of time and effort trying to make himself look his best so appearances aren't a trivial thing for him#he's always very clean and neat and presentable#except on those occasions when he's soaked in blood but that's totally besides the point#white fur is kind of high maintenance any tiny bit of dirt or staining becomes an eyesore and if it dries it may be hard to remove#he bathes very frequently way more than average considering the time period#some of the outfits he wears are worth more than the combined lifetime earnings of like six generations of his family#silk was outrageously expensive and the brightest red dye came from pulverized cochineal insects that had to be imported from America#which had been colonized less than a century ago so those tiny little cactus bugs were really troublesome to get and the demand was huge#he doesn't quite have the nerve to wear perfume despite it's widespread popularity at the time#but he makes sure the smell of frankincense burned during church services sticks to his fur and clothes#in general when you spend your entire life around strict emotionally congested highly religious men#you might not end up developing a very healthy self-esteem or body image#once you've internalized that sense of inferiority it's hard to unlearn it#he's so thirsty for approval and praise but when he receives some he immediately gets uncomfortable and distrustful and vaguely angry#he absolutely struggles to compliment people back as well at least on any meaningful and personal level so there's that#answered#anonymous#Machete
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miriamforster · 6 months
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ATTN GALE GIRLIES!
I am bending down to look you in the eyes so you know that I speak truth.
There are three things you must do when you get to the Emerald Grove if you are looking to romance the rizzard.
1. Use persuasion to stop Aradin and Zevlor from fighting. (Intimidation may work too but currently unconfirmed) +8 approval from Gale
2. Rescue Arabella from the druids. +8 approval from Gale, plus if you get his little convo after, you can ask him if he wants to confess something and he’ll get a little flirty 😉
3. This one is easy to miss. Go to the back of the tiefling area, there’s a wooden door and past that is a prison area. You’ll find a grieving tiefling holding a crossbow on a goblin prisoner. Step in front of the crossbow. Another +8 approval from Gale, and possibly he’ll tell you a story about how he diffused a similar situation in a bar once.
(Bonus: rescue Mirkon from the harpies. I have no idea what the approval numbers are here, but sometimes you get another little Gale convo after where he talks about how glad he is that you saved a kid and how he got into shenanigans as a child and summoned Tara.)
Do those things, be a generally kind and practical leader and cheerfully give him magic items to eat, and you’ll be sitting at exceptional approval before you can say “One with the Weave.”
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forcebookcorner · 9 months
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Force Jiratchapong and Book Kasidet on Force's Twitter Update (16.02.2023) [X]
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sometimes i remember they gave riku a purse in the first supergroupies collab and i just
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wow. beautiful. truly the gay-coded of all time.
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violent138 · 6 months
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Getting an adorable, brightly coloured sunshine child to run around with him was probably the best (and worst) PR move Batman ever made.
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oh-dameron · 16 hours
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Lan Xichen and Qin Su had quite a bit in common when it came to Jin Guangyao:
- First met JGY when they were in peril and he came to the rescue,
- Notably kind, beautiful, and good-natured,
- Did not place value on his origin or look down on him for his mother's profession,
- Were vocal in their support of him socially.
Which makes me think that we were robbed of maybe the greatest potential JGY partnership: Wen Ning.
Wen Ning: so ride-or-die that actually dying did not stop him from continuing to be ride-or-die. Wen Ning, presumably in quite the tenuous situation in Nightless City after the Jiang heir disappeared under suspicious circumstances, right when Meng Yao was working is way into Wen Ruohan's inner circle. Wen Ning, the sweetest cinnamon roll.
Slight canon divergence where Wen Qing missed one single opportunity to send Wen Ning out of Nightless City for a while, Wen Ning gets into juuust enough trouble, Meng Yao has the keys to the cell... one flash of Wen Ning's bambi eyes and he would have been a goner.
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kitnita · 6 months
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wyatt johnston talks his sleep schedule   —   practice   —   04.02.24 
[what’s it like getting back at six am? i mean, is it like — a day or two, or how do you adjust to that?]   i mean, for me, i think it’s … um, i know i can kind of get through it a little easier, i know some guys, you know, have kids and some other responsibilities where they don’t have the luxury of being able to sleep all day, but, um … yeah, i mean, i had — i was able to sleep in as long as i wanted and get as much sleep as i needed, which, um … you know, i think helps a lot for sure. um, obviously, it’s not easy though. uh — so definitely kinda took a little bit, but, yeah, i mean, for me it’s pretty easy just to — i mean, sleep ‘til i don’t need to anymore.  [so how long was that? what time d’you get up then?]   um … i think it was around one or so? when i got up? it wasn’t — it wasn’t too bad. you know, obviously you wanna try to sleep at night too. um … so, yeah, i think it worked out, you know, worked out pretty well.
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ef-1 · 8 months
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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reegis · 8 months
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Hey sorry to ask, but am I tripping or is some of your Redbubble stuff removed?
(Also can I be wheat anon? )
i did private my tma stuff on redbubble! i dont use twitter or many other social media so i was unaware that they are apparently vehemently against people selling fanart for tma, i was just naively thinking well if they had an issue with an art piece theyd ask me to take it down (& i 100% would, of course) but if its something theyr outspoken about then I cant in good conscience continue selling it, even if it was my main seller on there 😔
(you absolutely can🌾)
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recurring-polynya · 7 months
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I am never not thinking about Renji giving people rides on Hihiou Zabimaru, but somehow I forgot about the time Rukia used a Hakuren to launch Kon into the air during the kemari episode.
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Reader, she was not sorry.
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Unfortunately he started to go out of bounds, so Tessai felt it necessary to shoot him down with a Bakudou #99, p2.
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I cannot emphasize enough that this was for a game of kemari to resolve some vague beef Rurichiyo and Kenryuu were having, there were literally no stakes whatsoever to everyone else, who just showed up and chose violence.
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hecatesbroom · 4 months
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Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine
#the IMPLICATIONS#i completely forgot about that line#room 7 makes me lose my mind in general but ohhh my god#OH my god#i'm#yeah no i'm fine#i have so many feelings about this i can't even put them into words#idk but she speaks about that place with so so much nostalgia#we see blanche in a way we've never seen her with anyone from her past#she didn't look even remotely as happy or peaceful (or nostalgic!) when she visited her childhood home#but when she's in her grandma's old home? she calls it her family home#she talks about it like *that's* the place she grew up in#because apparently it was the only place she was always sure she could be loved#so i guess it might not have been the only place she grew up in#but it sure sounds like it was the one place she was allowed to be herself in and still be loved unconditionally#without competing for anyone's attention#ohh blanche ;-;#i teared up when she held that windchime and smiled right before finally leaving that house#that was *such* a powerful moment ;-;#anyway#uh#i guess i'll just go and stare at a wall or something now#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#adding on to this to say that maybe it really was the only place she grew up in#because to grow up i'd say you need an environment where you can at least somewhat freely explore your identity#without feeling a constant need to be the best/cutest/prettiest sister to get your parents' love and approval#it sounds like blanche grew older in her childhood home#and she got the chance to *grow up* with her grandma#(i knoooow i'm reading too much into this but i can't stop thinking about this episode)
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hyunpic · 1 year
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HYUNJIN with donatella versace & dua lipa
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moongothic · 9 months
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It is objectively at least a little funny to me when people draw Crocodile super muscular 'cause like, sure, his torso may be as wide as a brick wall, but y'all seen his arms and legs?
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They're skinny as shit, this man has never lifted a thing in his entire life, he probably doesn't even know how to run. Like Oda can draw people with muscular limbs, this shit's intentional
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