#love at first sight and true love and unconditional love and love at all

[calsvoid]

yeah kurt is blaine’s one true love but have you forgotten that blaine could’ve been sebastian’s

[cinnamon-galaxies]

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲

(human!Alastor x f!reader drabble)

Masterlist

Some poetic and reminiscing thoughts from (human) Alastor about his darling-doe. This is unlike anything I've written before. Honestly, I’m not even sure what this is. I wrote it a while ago when I was severely sleep-deprived.

I know he's no longer human in this, but he's telling us about a time when he still was. That's why I tagged it as human!Alastor.

CW: Possessive thoughts, mention of murder and manipulation

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

I remember the day I first saw you so clearly as if it didn’t happen almost a hundred years ago – back then, when we were still human, nothing but mere people made of flesh and bone, born to live, and living to die. Oh, what a beautiful sight you were, so beautiful – the most beautiful creature of them all. Not only your face resembled the image of a goddess, but your soul shone so bright it made even the darkest of times turn day. You were a true angel sent from heaven, a kind soul and oh so fragile. Glancing into those beautiful doe eyes of yours made me want to ruin you. To take you with me, poison your every being and make you mine – and mine only.

It feels as if it was yesterday that you introduced yourself to me. That radiant smile on your lips, those long lashes framing those shining eyes like they’re the most valuable painting in this world, and I've lost myself in you. You made me feel things I’ve never felt before. Things, I didn’t even consider I was able to feel – because I never felt them before. I've heard those tales. Even read those tales about unconditional love. About how the heartbeat increases whenever you’re close to the one you desire. About how much you crave their touch, their voice, their love – completely and utterly devoted to the one person in this world. One out of billions of people. But I never dared to think I would ever feel the same. Did I feel the same? I was obsessed with you; wanted to possess you in every way possible. And when those full lips of yours parted and your angelic voice entered my ears for the first time, you already had it all. And I knew I wanted you to be mine – and mine only.

Were you fascinated by me? Oh, you were. I saw it on your face. In the tiniest details that betrayed your overly polite expression that you so strongly tried to keep professional. I saw that you were intrigued the very moment you laid your eyes on me. It was like fate had sent you to me. Like my mother in heaven twisted all the odds in my favor, just so I could meet you. Oh, the way you smiled at me. The way you looked at me. How your voice slightly raised when you spoke directly to me. It made my heart flutter and it filled me with an emotion I never thought to ever be able to feel my whole life. And I wanted you to be mine – and mine only.

We met again, after that night. More often than appropriate. In parks, at the bank of the Mississippi, at professional events and at a restaurant I so carefully chose. One that I knew would only serve the best of New Orleans’ cuisine. To make you acquainted with my home and my culture. To prepare you to be on my side. I saw you once, I saw you twice. I saw you an umpteenth times. And yet I was waiting for the perfect moment to ruin you – to make you mine – and mine only.

Were you as corrupted as I? Were you – beside your angel-like nature – capable to make the change, to become one like me, and sacrifice your very being to the darkness of twisted human nature? The desire to kill, the desire to hunt with you grew with every passing day. Day to day I've been waiting for the moment. For the perfect opportunity to make you see my true nature. To make you see my grim twisted morality, to make you see my darkest of secrets, to make you accept it with a smile, to make you succumb to your own darkness, to make you fall, to make you mine – and mine only.

The night we first shared a kiss felt like a dream. An oh so beautiful, yet so tragic dream – because I knew that once your lips touched mine, everything between us would change forever. I remember how you stood before me, much like the day we met, though that angelic smile of yours was replaced by a warmth that exceeded every ounce of adoration you gifted to me before. And then you leaned in, and we kissed. That feeling of your soft lips against mine wasn’t anything like I imagined before. It was so much more, an overwhelming explosion of fireworks. Oh, the hunger that roared on my inside, the need to pull you closer and take everything of you – in this very moment – was unbearable. But I waited. Because at this moment I already knew you were mine – and mine only.

Oh, you were my darling.

My darling-doe.

My angel.

My everything.

And now, I will make you fall.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

[mimble-sparklepudding]

OC Questions on the Seven Forms of Love.

A little list of OC questions based on the seven types of love identified in Ancient Greek thought. Obviously this is a highly simplified presentation of some quite complex philosophical concepts from Classical History, intended more for the purposes of entertainment than education. I also left out Mania, which is arguably an eighth type of love (Obsessive), because I'm keeping it mostly positive in these tricky times!

Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love.

Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

How important is sex to them in a relationship? Do they see it as something essential to their happiness? Would they be able to remain in a monogamous relationship with someone they loved without sex?

How do they feel about public displays of romantic affection? Does it make them uncomfortable? How do they feel if a romantic partner kisses them in public?

Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

Philia – Affectionate, Platonic Love.

Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?

Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?

What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?

What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

Storge – Unconditional, Familial Love.

Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans?

How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role?

Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult?

Agape – Selfless, Universal Love.

Does your OC wish to make the world a better place? How far do they see that as being their responsibility? What lengths would they go to in order to help achieve this?

Does your OC feel a spiritual connection to the world around them? Do they have a particular love for nature or living things?

To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

Does your OC have a religious faith which emphasises the importance of a love for all people? If so then do they try to follow these teachings authentically? Or do they just pay lip-service to them? If not then do they follow a more martial or mercantile faith? Or none at all?

Does your OC find it easy to empathise with their enemies? Or do they see it as important to dehumanise them in order to combat them with sufficient determination?

Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love.

Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?

Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?

How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?

Who was your OC's first crush? How do they feel about it now?

What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

Pragma – Committed, Long-Lasting Love.

Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

Are your OC's parents still together? To what degree do they look to their own parents as a model for their own ideal relationship?

After the initial fires of passion cool to some degree, what would keep your OC engaged in a relationship? Shared goals? Similar values? Or contented companionship?

What importance or value does your OC attach to marriage? Do they believe that it is important to make a public statement of commitment to another person (or persons)? Or are they more concerned about inheritance rights and security for their family? Or do they not see marriage as a necessary signifier of commitment and loyalty?

Philautia – Self Love.

Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?

Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?

Which of your OC's qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

Has your OC always had the same opinion of themselves or has this changed over time? Have they learned to love themselves - perhaps with the help of others - as their journey progressed? Or have the consequences of their actions only served to erode their sense of self-worth?

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 018 }

- boyfriend headcanons with sung jinwoo -

notes: i have a little bit of a writer's block, so have some headcanons + drabbles with the man that has completely stolen my heart ♡ unedited because i am just dumping my thoughts into this little story.

having sung jinwoo as your boyfriend was nothing short of being a dream come true. in fact, the moment he confessed to you, you swore that you were living in a fantasy world...

"what...?"

your gaze was honed in on the tall, s-rank hunter. in his hand was a bouquet of your favorite flowers (just how did he even know?) and you could feel your heart pounding in response to the mere sight of him.

he gently calls out your name, still gingerly holding on to your bouquet with a sheepish expression, casually running his hands through his hair.

"uhm, you heard me correctly, i want to go on a date with you... i want to call you mine."

were you being pranked right now?

or were you caught up in a dream? your fantasies come straight to life with sung jinwoo actually confessing to you?

feeling nervous and filled with uncertainty, you look behind you to see if there was anyone else.

did he mean to say this to hunter cha hae-in?

as you were left gaping like a fish with the sheer amount of times your mouth opened and closed in response to his confession, jinwoo finally decided to take matters into his own hands as he comes closer to you.

you were suddenly forced to hold on to the bouquet as jinwoo leans down, grey eyes shining with mirth and adoration for you. he caresses at your cheek before whispering to you, "hm, it seems like you don't believe me. i suppose actions do speak louder than words after all."

"wait-"

you were given little time to react when jinwoo presses his lips against yours in a kiss, making you melt against him. the moment he feels you kissing him back was the moment jinwoo smiles against your lips, further setting your heart aflame with love and devotion for him.

he checked off every trait you had wished for in a boyfriend: extremely attentive to you and your emotions; had such a deep, unconditional love for you that it bordered on the cusp of worship- jinwoo was your ideal soulmate in every sense of the word.

"oh my god, i did not think you would be such a dork."

you had been dating jinwoo for merely 3 months now, yet he was such an adorable dweeb that he ended up celebrating each month with you.

for the first two months, he had given you a special bouquet and two gifts that he knew you would love:

for the first month, a gorgeously crafted diary complete with a lock and key;

for the second month, a cute dress made of the finest fabrics as you wore it to dinner that night with him.

and now for your third month together, jinwoo had struck yet again.

his grey eyes were shining once more, giving you his usual, extravagant bouquet, but this time, it was accompanied by a slender gift box wrapped in gold while tied up in an onyx ribbon.

your eyes meet with his in a questioning glance, seeing a small pink blush dye his cheeks.

"sarang, don't be shy... open it."

setting your bouquet off to the side, your hands were slightly shaking when you tore into the wrapping, revealing a long and slender velvet box. once you had opened it, you felt a gasp escape from your parted lips.

"oh, jinwoo... it's so beautiful!"

within the confines of the velvet box was a gorgeously crafted bracelet made up of your favorite gemstones. you watch as the gems catch the light, capturing rainbows from within it. jinwoo admires your awed expression for a few seconds before letting out a chuckle, taking out the bracelet as he sets the box off to the side.

"here, let me help you put it on."

he grabs your right wrist and clasps the bracelet onto it, giving you a loving smile before taking a hold of your hand. as his large hand envelopes yours, you felt your breath hitch the moment he leans in closer to press a kiss against your knuckle.

"it is indeed beautiful. a perfect fit, really."

feeling overwhelmed with love for him, you end up wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you captured his lips within yours in a searing kiss.

also, you don't even have to worry about getting sick or suffering through that time of the month! jinwoo has already got you covered; ever since you moved into an apartment with him, he has been the most doting malewife boyfriend ever!

you were curled up in bed, clinging to your favorite plushie in a tight manner when a fresh wave of cramps hit you. never before had your monthly period become this bad; it felt as though your body was in a constant state of distress, clenching your abdomen as it brought you new waves of pain.

jinwoo had texted you earlier today, asking you if you wanted to go out on a date after his meeting, but you politely declined. you admitted in your text how your body was just not well enough to do any sort of activity-

but when your boyfriend left you on read, you felt a newfound sensation of anxiety coursing through you.

why didn't he answer back with an 'okay' or 'i understand, honey' like he usually does? was he mad at you for being rendered immobile because of your immense cramps?

should you try to tough it out and agree to go on a date with him anyways?

should you text him back and tell him that you changed your mind?

and were you really getting anxious at being left on read by him (yes, you were getting anxious).

just as you were close to forcing yourself out of bed, you hear jinwoo returning home as his heavy footsteps were heard walking through the hallways.

his sudden appearance within your doorway makes you jump back in bed, seeing his flushed expression as he carried several bags within his hand.

"hey sarang, here, i bought you all of your favorite snacks and a heating pad, too. when jinah had her first period, i panicked and didn't know what to do when she kept crying because she was in so much pain."

jinwoo settles the bags of snacks off to the side while gently lifting up your shirt. he takes a heating pad and carefully applies it to your abdomen. "so i'm proud to say, taking care of my sister has helped prepare me for moments like these."

a proud smile graces his handsome features when he pulls down your shirt once more, "now, i know i can take care of my woman with ease."

he turns away and was about to get you your favorite ice cream when you stop him, throwing your arms around his neck while pulling him closer to you. tears of happiness fill your vision as you thanked him over and over again for his kindness-

for his willingness to always take care of you.

jinwoo was caught off guard by your words, but ends up smiling down at you, wrapping his arms around your back as he brought you even closer to him.

"don't even worry about it, honey." his lips were pressed against your hair, "i am your lover, so it's my job to keep you safe and happy."

now you might be wondering, does jinwoo ever place any of his shadow soldiers into your shadow? the answer is an absolute YES. whenever jinwoo had to travel to faraway places, he would only keep his strongest soldiers close to your side, placing his entire trust within those who were the most loyal to him.

"my queen, where is it that you would like to go?"

"ah, are you bored? shall we accompany you to a movie of your choosing?"

you giggle while spending some time in the city with beru and igris talking your ear off. they were always so eager to follow you, growing a deep fondness for you solely because their king loved you so much. in fact, they took great pride in being consistently chosen to protect you when jinwoo was away.

you smile back at them, ready to reply when you felt someone bump into you. letting out a sharp hiss of pain, you look up to see a rather rude looking business man run into you.

"oi, watch where you're going!"

"excuse me? you were the one who bumped into me!" your nostrils were flared as you stood your ground, not letting the rude man treat you like a pushover.

"oh, so she has an attitude? do you know who i am?! i am-"

yet the words die against his throat when beru and igris reveal themselves out of your shadow, taking a protective stance in front of you as they were ready to defend you at any cost.

"oh, would you l-l-look at the time, i am late for my m-meeting. if you'll excuse me m-m-miss." the businessman ends up stiffly walking away from you, leaving you alone with jinwoo's most trusted shadow soldiers.

with a sigh, you brush back your hair. "did jinwoo see any of that?"

"yes, he did. he is taking the next flight back to seoul as we speak." igris tells you with a smug expression, making you let out a groan in response.

"please! convince him to stay in america! he has very important matters to discuss with the u.s. association branch!"

"our king says that he does not care. you had been disrespected, so he is on his way home now. he has rescheduled such a meeting in order to comfort you, my queen."

feeling the heat become stronger against your cheeks, you were left hiding your face within your hands, feeling exasperated at your overprotective boyfriend-

but truth be told, you still loved him all the same.

truly, you could never imagine a life without jinwoo. he fit you so well, like a perfect puzzle piece. jinwoo being by your side made you feel complete - and you wouldn't want it to be any other way.

while you slept peacefully in bed, jinwoo continues to admire you, looking down at you with his eyes filled with love and devotion for you alone.

he takes a moment to admire your beauty. even when your hair was a mess and there was a thin trail of drool seen from the corner of your mouth-

you were still the loveliest woman he had fallen madly in love with.

not a single day passes where he doesn't think about you.

"heh, i guess i'm completely obsessed with you after all."

he smiles down at you, whispering to your sleeping form when he leans in closer to press a kiss against your cheek.

"i'm gonna need to make you mine soon... or else i'll go completely insane if another man tries to flirt with you and take you away from me."

with one last whisper of your name, he gives your cheek a lingering kiss all while smiling against your skin, whispering to you about his promises of forever while giving you a ring first thing in the morning.

a.n. - i love jinwoo so much,,,, sobbing because he's not real... 🥹

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[dreamingkitsunewrites]

My Atlantis, we fall (Sukuna x Reader)

A/N: minding my own business while watching the rain fall today and this popped up unrequited in my head... I'm not crying I swear, just have one of Sukuna's fingers stuck in my eye🥺🥲

Warnings: Angst no comfort, jjk's finale SPOILERS

Summary: this fic was inspired by THAT Sukuna's quote from chapter 271🥺

500 words

You couldn't believe this scenario was really unfolding in front of you: Sukuna had been defeated. The great Lord of Curses had lost his crown to a group of teenagers. The news hit you like a punch in the guts and you started running faster, the pouring rain melting with your salty tears as your vision blurred. Your watery eyes barely managed to catch the silhouette of his towering figure, standing beside Uraume's shorter one.

"Sukuna.. " you cried out his name desperately. He turned. You soon understood: that moment felt like the end. The angle of his lips curled up in a bittersweet smile, all of his red pupils softening as he took in your fragile figure one last time. Never before in his tumultuous existence had he felt such a deep sense of protectiveness…you, the human he had surprisingly grown fond of, now standing  in front of him, trembling and soaked by the rain.

A moment of Epiphany: the tender vulnerability he saw in you, your stubborn willingness in loving a monster, even after you discovered his true form, the witness of his crimes…he realized that he would never be the same. Not after you.

"YN" his usual deep, menacing voice was now reduced to a heartfelt whisper, a hint of resignation and longing hidden in the cracks of his persisting proud façade. His features were now relaxed in a serene expression: your presence comforted him…at least he was granted one last look at your pretty face, before disappearing from this world once again. “You found me”

“Sukuna…this cannot happen like this…not now…” your hurried voice cracked under the weight of your emotion, feeling warm, heavy tears streaming down your freezing cheeks

“you cannot leave me…don't you dare…not before I-”

You were cut off by his light chuckle and felt your whole world collapsing at your feet:

 “You, witty little creature, you did it already….you saved me” he nodded his head, bringing one of his four veiny hands to his chest “you redeemed my soul… you taught me the deepest meaning of unconditional love, you succeeded where anyone else had failed in over a thousand years. And now that I am certain it exists, I won't let go of it…” 

He looked up at the sky for the first time after centuries and marveled at the beautiful sight of the rain, cascading down from dissipating dark clouds, a breathtaking sight he had almost forgotten… a Baptism, a twisted new beginning,disguised as the most bitter of goodbyes. 

“Perhaps it would be nice to walk a different path…should there be a next time” he mused at the sky before turning his attention back to you.

“No matter how long it takes, I’ll find you again among the folds of time…in another era, another chance to be worthy of your love…” he paused, looking straight into your puffy eyes. You could see it clearly now: Lord Sukuna didn't exist anymore…he was replaced by Ryomen Sukuna, a soul saved by the power of love and haunted by the weight of his guilt.

“I’ll meet you there. Until the next turn… my love” 

It was with that last gift that he left you: even though he knew he had fallen for you for years, he had never found the bravery to address his love out loud. Not until that last time…

Thanks for reading this far! Interactions and Reblogs are appreciated🙏🏼🖤

My Jjk Materialist here

Taglist: @lemonlimecrystal-blog @viviennevianna

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

The thing about Ed and Stede is I don't think they would've ever guessed someone like the other could even exist before they met. I can't even call their story "love at first sight" because they honestly started falling for each other before they met.

From the very first time we see Stede hearing Blackbeard stories, he's trying to figure out the man behind the myth. He has an instinct to pick Pete's stories apart, not just because he's trusting enough to believe they're true but because he has such a natural curiosity and willingness to look deeper. Ed, too, is absolutely fucking gone for this weirdo right away - when was the last time he met anyone who went against the grain, let alone someone who dared to talk back to Blackbeard? Before they even meet each other, Stede's interested in teasing out the truth about Blackbeard this perfect pirate, and Ed's fascinated by someone who doesn't seem afraid of him.

And when they meet, you can just feel it. Never have I seen two characters immediately seem so drawn to each other on screen before. You can feel the click. And as they learn more about each other, they never, not ever, get disappointed when the other doesn't quite match those first expectations.

Ed absolutely adores all the things Stede's been made fun of his whole life. Stede does not expect people to care about his interests or put up with him without complaining; Ed is enthusiastically curious about the things Stede likes and whole-heartedly thinks Stede is fucking incredible. Stede easily sets his expectations for Blackbeard aside as he learns more about Ed, letting Ed know that he can indulge in softer things and just be Ed around Stede with zero judgment. They're always so supportive and gentle with each other.

Both of them were so resigned, at the beginning of the show. They're both weird and dramatic and goofy, and they'd so desperately been longing for someone to play with, someone who got them. Their support for each other is so unconditional. What a beautiful story, that these two weirdos got to find each other, and we get to see them start their life together.

[impala124]

Why would Hong Hee-joo hate The Little Mermaid?

I really appreciate it when literary references are made in relation to a character because it gives us special insight into their thoughts and informs their actions (past, present, & future) and also gives me an excuse to write meta about the series. A refresher on what The Little Mermaid (the Disney movie) is about:

It's a coming-of-age story about Ariel, a mermaid who is dissatisfied with her life in the ocean and is fascinated with the human world. She rescues a human, Prince Eric, from a shipwreck and falls in love at first sight. She sings to him but has to leave before he regains consciousness in order to avoid being discovered. On a mission to reunite with her one true love, she makes a deal with the devil reincarnate, Ursula, to transform her into a human in exchange for her voice. The conditions of the deal are as follows: Ariel has three days to complete her quest of making him fall in love with her, or she'll belong to Ursula forever in case she fails to succeed.

Shenanigans ensue once Ariel transforms into a human because Eric doesn't recognize her voice, a trick played by Ursula because of her beef with Ariel's father, King Triton. In the end, Ursula is defeated, Ariel gets to keep her voice, her father gives Ariel the blessing to get married to Prince Eric, and transforms her into a human unconditionally, and they live happily ever after on land.

Now, let's look at how Hong Hee-joo sees Ariel:

Up until Ariel's transformation into a human, she probably felt represented by her. The transformation in her case was marriage to Baek Sa-eon, which she agreed to in order to take care of her father and also because she had a little crush on Baek Sa-eon. I will die on the hill that she was actually willing to make this marriage work until Sa-eon started spouting his 'Don't develop any feelings for me, you're just a stand-in.' nonsense.

But, according to her, her fate is very different from that of Ariel's. Ariel gets to keep her voice and live happily ever after with her one true love. She had her cake and got to eat it too.

What about Hong Hee-joo?

Keep in mind that she meets her sister at the aquarium the day after Baek Sa-eon confesses to liking her (under the influence of alcohol) and starts acting skittish around her the morning after. We the audience know how obsessed he is with her, but she has no clue about his true feelings regarding her.

As far as she's aware, she is stuck in a loveless marriage with minimal interaction with her husband of three years, lost her voice, and never experienced unconditional love.

She is envious of Ariel's fate of being able to have it all when she can't even have one (the loving husband or her voice).

Little does she know that her story is still being written and she too will get to have it all.

[evewasheretoday]

Accidents Happen: Prologue

Your mother was a hardworking woman with high hopes and your father was an honest man.

The love that your parents had for each other was unconditional and strong, it shouldn't have been a surprise that with such a love — they'd been blessed with twelve children, six boys and six girls.

While being the youngest in your family certainly had its advantages and disadvantages, this was certainly not one of them.

“I can't believe the lot of you are kicking me out!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, your voice hoarse from all the yelling. “And after everything I've done for all of you?”

“This was not our decision to make” Your oldest sister—Camelia—replied, crossing her arms to her chest.

“I told you being a slob was bound to get you into trouble someday” Your second oldest brother—Daniel—sighed.

The rest of your siblings were inside the house, smiling happily at the sight of you leaving home and being sent away to Castle Dimitrescu from the windows. 

Lady Dimitrescu's home — where most women would come to work as a maid.

You gulped. “This is not a fun experience” You told them. “You are sending me to my own death!”

Camelia and Daniel shared a look.

“You're exaggerating” Camelia responded to you. “If anything — we're doing you a favour” She grinned cheekily to you.

“Besides” Daniel added, walking toward you and ruffling your hair. “It will be good for you”

“If I don't come back, I must be dead” You mumbled.

Daniel laughed while Camelia just smiled.

“Oh, don't be ridiculous!” Camelia rolled her eyes at you. “You will survive” She said.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Counting the days since you first stepped into Castle Dimitrescu and started your work, you've been under Lady Dimitrescu's employment for two years.

Yet you still cannot get used to the screams of pain that come from the castle's dungeons nor the fear of any day being your last.

You've rarely ever seen any of the women living there. I mean, you see the other servants every now and then but the daughters?

Yeah, no. You did your best to avoid them as much as possible. Emphasis on the word did because no matter how much you tried — it just wasn't possible to avoid them entirely.

“I feel terribly sorry for that girl,” One of your coworkers spoke up.

You never believed it to be true but Lady Dimitrescu certainly did not employ any man into the castle.

All the faces you've seen and all the voices you've heard during your time here were all women.

“She has a name, Lucille” Looking around the dinner table, everyone's attention was settled on one person.

“Had,” Lucille corrected. “After her little incident with Lady Daniela, I doubt anyone will be calling her other than a fool or a slattern.” She chuckled softly. “And you know that all too well, Gabriela”

Everyone's eyes were still fixated on one person. And that was Gabriela.

“I would watch my words If I were you, Lucille” The ginger-haired woman warned. Her lips pursed into a thin line as she stared directly at Lucille, the dark brown-haired woman who glared back at her.

Dinner was usually quiet for every single woman who worked at Castle Dimitrescu under Lady Dimitrescu's employment. But today seemed like a bad day to say the least. 

Lucille and Gabriela were one of the oldest employees in Castle Dimitrescu. 

They were both already here before your own family had decided you would be better working at a place that paid so well rather than at home where you only did the bare minimum at best.

“I am but stating a fact, Gabriela” Lucille rolled her eyes. “Had she been more careful with her work, she would not have ended in the dungeons” She sneered.

Gabriela slammed her fist against the table, every other maid flinched at the sudden noise. “If you'll excuse me,” She gritted out through clenched teeth. “I shall eat in my room” She said before storming out of the dining hall.

“Well,” You mumbled, wiping your mouth clean. “That was something”

~~~~~~~~~~~

If you could kill someone with your bare hands without a thought, you'd have done it by now.

“You!” Beatrice, the head maid, called out. “Clean the library” She ordered, pointing at you with the broomstick in her hand. “And don't come back unless it is spotless”

Beatrice was quite a lovely woman.

Only if you weren't the one she was yelling at and making orders to.

“Yes, ma'am” You sighed exasperatedly before hurrying to the library.

Today just couldn't have been worse, you thought.

A shadow following you from afar, quiet like a mouse, unbeknownst to you.

[llondonfog]

YOU

YOU GET IT

i don't mean to ramble but i am so emotional!! about them!! how much lilia truly loved him at first sight that it manifested beyond a simple blessing to physically alter his appearance!!

i'm just consumed at the thought that lilia's love overcame the knight of dawn's raging genetics and punted them out of the way to ensure that while silver may never carry fangs nor pointed ears, he will never doubt his father's love for him when he looks in a mirror from now on and sees the blessing of the night, of moonlight, woven into his very hair.

the knowledge that silver is love made visible— the love of his parents to care for and protect their child from a world of war and suffering; the love of his father, a true love so powerful to leave an indelible mark on both their hearts so much so that we're traversing what should be the greatest agonies of lilia's life.... only to realize that they were all necessary, that he accepts them even, if it meant finding his greatest joy imaginable, that he would relive them all to cherish the memory of finding silver; the love of one of the greatest mages to have lived, the fae prince himself, who sought to halt time to stop the tears of the human closest to his heart; the love of his childhood friend, who would have stopped at nothing to save him and whose happiest dream was not complete without silver's presence.

he's the glue of this silly little family, the symbol that unconditional true love can come from your greatest enemies and be the mercy you need to finally welcome peace into your heart.

yana toboso what the genuine fuck have you done to me

[dwaekkiforpresident]

lee minho loves hard. he pours everything his soul has into making sure you’re taken care of. no amount of work or busy schedules could ever change how he felt about you.

he knew everything about you, he studied you as if you held all the answers in the universe. never once would he make you feel unwanted. any negative thoughts about yourself, he kissed them away and replaced them with what he saw; you. in his eyes, you’re perfect. any flaws you believe are true, he will argue with you until you see his side and until he makes you believe his words.

living together was a dream. after a few months, he proposed the idea. admittedly, it caught you off guard because, well, who in their right mind would ask their partner of seven months to live together? after endless discussion and persuasion, you agree. he promised you a life free of worry, waking up to unconditional love and support and ending every day with whatever it is you want. minho always kept his promise. it truly was too good to be true.

your friends were envious, albeit supportive; you can’t count the number of times they had bet on the date of his proposal to you. your family? loved him. you liked to joke that they adored him more than you, minho would always make sure he made you feel even more loved later that day.

things couldn’t get any better. there was no problems in sight, never a worry in the world. maybe that’s where the problem was lying all along. “love is blind”, they’ve always said. it’s disgusting how true it is.

you met at a bar. you had come with a group, sitting all alone as you sip on a virgin cocktail, the designated driver. minho came in with his friend that you’d later find out was named jeongin.

the world stopped spinning for minho. jeongin poked fun at his star struck face, minho strode forward towards your seat with all the confidence he could muster.

the first things he learned about you was your drink of choice, laughing maybe a little too hard when you lightheartedly complained about the sugar water you had to drink that evening for the sake of your friends. then he learnt your name and by god if it wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.

he managed to get your number that night. he’d also managed to snag a kiss after beating you at pool, his winnings being a peck from your lips. he was teased relentlessly for the stupid grin that wouldn’t leave his face until he fell asleep.

a month or so of exchanging messages and twelve dates later, he had made you his. finally. he couldn’t believe his luck. he was sure he’d spend the rest of his life with you.

just over a year into the relationship, you’d announced your decision to leave after you found a ring in the dresser. a wedding ring. you weren’t ready. no time left for him to talk to you or convince you, you were gone without a trace while he was on tour. the apartment was void of your belongings, all except for the necklace you’d worn on the first date he’d taken you on.

he fell asleep with tears in his eyes and the chain in his hands.

you’d told him that you weren’t ready for something so serious so soon, that the constant pressure of being the partner of an idol was too much. you told him over the phone because if you saw him in person, you’d have no choice but to come back. oh how he wished you’d come back.

he missed you. your face, your hair, your smile, your laugh— he missed the first time he’d driven you to the beach. you sang along to his playlist, to his favorite songs. the same ones on repeat whenever he gave you his phone to choose the music.

that very same song makes him lose it on the way to work four months after you left. all he can hear is your voice, seeing your smile that he was so sure he’d never lose.

the first time he talks to his parents after you leave, he hopes they’ll be supportive and reassuring.

they remind him how they advised against moving in together so soon. he yells at his father that night, his mother in tears. he can’t speak to them quite yet.

so many firsts without you, so many emotions and so many heart-wrenching reminders of how you’ve moved on. you never blocked him on social media, though you did unfollow him.

he knows it’s not good for him, for the healing process, but he tells himself it’ll ease his mind. maybe he wants to know you’re okay or maybe he wants to see if you felt what he is feeling.

he gets rid of instagram after seeing your post with another guy, the strangers arm around your waist.

it’s about a half a year after your departure and he’s starting to maybe feel like he’s okay. he’s back to laughing with his friends, playing with his beloved cats and getting back into the rhythm of cooking after not having the bother to eat anything but instant meals and whatever his friends would bring him in an attempt to get him out of his depression.

he’s ready to be okay, to move on. it’s a thursday night when your name and phone number flash across his screen. he answers immediately.

his concern instantly dissolves into confusion. then into realization.

you called because you’re drunk and you’re lonely. speaking in a slurred manner and saying things he’s been wanting you to say since you left. he knows he should hang up. he doesn’t.

he missed your voice too much to say goodbye just yet.

then you tell him that you want to come over, to see him. it breaks his heart to tell you no. it’s not like it was an easy decision on his part, his mind and his heart screaming two different things at him.

he hangs up the call and he sits down in silence, the lighting from the television flashing across his face and the cat at his feet. it’s the last time he cries about you.

maybe that was his closure. the acceptance that you really are gone.

if you’d told minho the night he met you that he’d lose you, knowing everything he got to share with you, he’d do it again.

he’d fight his parents, let you ruin his favorite music with your own voice, let you into the mess that was his life just to have you for the eight months that you were his.

he’d do it over and over again, just to be with you. you’ll always be the one that got away in his story, you’ll always remind him of your past together when the radio station so feels like it.

he’d love you again, go through all the pain again just to have you in his arms for those moments, even though you break up in the end.

[fluffydice]

Let’s talk about Kusuo, specifically what we see in episode 19, season 1 and what it shows about his perception of the men in his life. 

This is the episode where we’re introduced to Kumi and Kumagoro, as well as our first sighting and name drop of Kusuke. We start off with Kurumi reminding Kuniharu that her parents don’t know about Kusuo’s powers. Later, Kusuo says this is why he doesn’t tell his parents about Kumagoro’s true nature. (This is also where Kusuo acknowledges his own tsundere tendencies, which means he’s at least self-aware of his issues with attachment.)

When listening in on Kumagoro’s thoughts, Kusuo comments on them in the same way he comments on his dad’s: with disdain and irritation. To put it short, he thinks he’s pathetic. It’s to the point where he flat out states that “he kinda didn’t wanna go in there” with his grandfather. Importantly, though, he does go in and spend time with the man in the end. And this is notable because we see him do the same thing with Kuniharu when he goes with him to work. What’s odd is that it only takes maybe an hour for Kusuo to reach out to his grandfather. The visit to work wasn’t one that started entirely willingly, and it’s the only example we see of Kusuo being up to spending time with his dad.

The thing is, Kusuo opens up so quickly to his grandfather because of his thoughts, but Kusuo stays away from Kuniharu for those same reasons. His grandfather wants to spend time with Kusuo, while his dad wants him around as an excuse. Even at home, Kusuo is a commodity, one his dad relies on to make his life easier. He’s only valued when he’s being useful. There’s a reason Kuniharu was nervous about using the Love Meter to measure his affection for Kusuo. We know how rapidly it can change; it’s just as fickle as Kuniharu’s love for his son. But the fact that he still tries, even after all these years, means that Kusuo does crave a reliable father figure in his life (and it’s probably why he likes Matsuzaki so much, but that’s for another discussion)

Despite that crucial difference, it’s easy to see the connection between Kumagoro and Kuniharu. And it’s one Kusuo easily takes note of. So that’s why it’s such a shock to Kusuo when his grandfather leaps to hold onto him on the faris wheel, promising to keep him safe. He’s never had a man in his life act like that. The men in his life use him, and hurt him if he doesn’t go along with it. Kumagoro wasn’t fitting into the pattern Kusuo had noticed, and when he got the care he’s supposed to have, it meant a lot to him. Probably more than he realized it would. 

I think it’s important that it was his grandfather too. This place was where Kusuke said that “normal humans wouldn’t accept him.” And I’m sure that by this point, he had heard that many times before. But this was probably the first time he was told someone who was obligated to love him (i.e., his family) would never accept him. Here is where he’s forced to sit there and listen as Kusuke says “If they learn that he is a monster, Grandpa and Grandma will have heart attacks.” 

And the thing is, Kusuo’s experiences with the men in his family would never disprove it. He adores his mom and likes Kumi a lot, even to the point where he trusts her to get things done. But that’s the women in his family. Kumagoro? He’s like his dad, which means he would likely react the same as the man. So finding the unconditional love of a male family member in a time of distress? Yeah. It gets him. 

Because he’s Kusuo Saiki, the one who takes care of others. Not the other way around. And we know it changes his view of his grandfather, because he says that “he is different from dad.” And that’s important because it means Kuniharu isn’t what he’s supposed to be.

Because he’s Kusuo Saiki, the one who takes care of others. Not the other way around. And we know it changes his view of his grandfather, saying that “he is different from dad.” And that’s important because it means Kuniharu isn’t what he’s supposed to be.

[blonndiec]

Fruits Basket Season 3 Episode 1

So yes, I'm on episode 1 of the third season of my rewatch journey.

First of all...this opening and ending are my absolute faves. The animation of the opening is top tier - my only comment is that I would have liked to have Ayame followed by Mine's face turning to see him (as Tohru's and Machi's) and also Hatori.

Here is my main take:

Ren, as much as deranged and inexcusable on her own right is, spilled some hard truths to Akito and I thoroughly enjoyed them because it was all true.

What Hatori, Kureno and all who couldn't face Akito crying (or hurt because of her own inhability to process real life because of a unreal concept of love her father made her believe) did, made them just as guilty for all the pain Akito caused, as Akito is.

And I didn't mention Shigure, because in his own twisted way -too selfish to share Akito with anyone else of the Zodiac- he noticed this too and stopped.

Shigure has another set of reasons aside from this, but my guess is he also knew now unnatural was to feel this much blind loyalty to Akito and despite loving her, feeling that much bound and in a way 'slaved' by the unconditional relationship caused by the curse that the sight of her crying would command him to 'comply'. He's the dog of the zodiac, and while at the beginning I thought it to be quite contradictory because the dog represents loyalty and companionship - Shigure was doing the complete opposite...now it totally fits. He he didn't wanted to be just that to the woman he loves and also, sensed how unnatural everything was. There was a rejection of knowing that being cursed meant sharing the person he loves: sharing her with all the other zodiac members.

There is a darkness on Shigure that might come from the understanding of how easily love and connections can destroy people.

But yeah, coming back to Ren's words and what Kureno was talking with Tohru... they are all complicit.

[an-aroaces-harem]

fickle

Title: fickle

Pairing: Ellis x OC

Warnings: implied sex, failed drugging attempt, modern!au

Author's note: First of all, DO NOT take strangers to your home with you. Secondly, I kinda envisioned Ellis as werewolf!ellis but taking his latest epilogues and other story bits into consideration, his behaviour in my fic pretty much matches his canon behaviour.

This man could be the man she dreamed of, and she met him in a place of short-termed encounters, the reality of the present.

»You know,« Anne says, the loud music getting louder with every step, »I’m surprised we even got in with you wearing that cutesy outfit.«

»Yeah,« Heather chimes in, slightly pulling down her deep v-neck, »especially since cute and innocent is out. We aren’t teens anymore, Hana, guys want seductive women who know what they want.«

Hana just shrugs and follows them to the bar, avoiding all the sweaty bodies on the packed dance floor. The music currently playing isn’t to her liking as she sits down next to Anne. They order drinks, Anne glances to Hana, chin propped onto her palm, and decides that she needs alcohol in her system to cheer up. Anne beckons the bartender back to them, asking for a nice, fruity cocktail for Hana.

Hana rolls her eyes at that, not really fond of alcohol, and watches the other two downing their own drinks, followed by several shots. An orange one appears in Hana’s sight, decorated with a spiral straw and other glittery things she doesn’t need in a drink.

»Join us when you loosened up enough,« Heather shouts over the beats, patting Hana’s shoulder and she disappears with Anne in the crowd of dancing bodies.

Hana wonders why she agreed in the first place to go with them, she’s bored already. One night stands aren’t really her thing. Maybe she’s being a little old-fashioned, at least for someone her age. Anne and Heather, though, they act and live like the majority of their generation, hooking up with strangers at bars because true love is nothing more than a fickle dream, a lie of the past, and worrying about their future, good jobs with good income becoming more and more sparse.

Sometimes, she doesn’t want to grow up and relives her teens instead. Binge watching old cartoons or listening to 90’s or early 2000’s music for example, Hana still owns and wears her old clothing. It’s not like she actually wants to go back, going to high school once is more than enough for a lifetime, teenage boys ignorant—dishwasher kisses, unsure fumbling and sloppy breast groping—or absorbed, believing porn depicts reality.

Of course there are other boys out there but Hana never had the opportunity to date one. She fell for the nice faces and got crushed by her shattered expectations. And still she hopes to meet the man of her dreams—whoever that may be—with unconditional love and a fulfilled future. Hana wants nothing more than a family of her own.

Yet, she sits at a counter in a bar where people solely look for hookups and nothing serious. They want to live their youth to fullest before settling down, if ever.

Sighing in her mind, Hana reaches for her drink anyway. One won’t be a problem, she’ll order a glass of water afterwards and then just coke. Before she can take a sip through the straw, a foreign hand wraps itself around her glass and takes it away with little force.

Confused, she looks to the side where a man settled into Anne’s seat. She didn’t notice his presence at all. How long was she contemplating about her life? He puts her drink down again, eyeing her with a careful gaze.

He leans in to her, »You shouldn’t drink something you haven’t watched all the time.« Despite the loud music around them, his voice is smooth and the only thing she can hear in this very moment. After that, the noise filters back into her system.

Then she understands what he means. »You mean, someone put something in my drink?« she asks back. Rule number one while clubbing—never leave your drinks unattended. Since she appears as cute and innocent, as Heather put it, she is viewed as an easy victim. Now it looks like she actually is one, to her dismay. »Thanks, you literally saved me there.«

»No need to, don’t worry about it.« He smiles, eyes twinkling and piercings on his ears gleaming in the colorful club lights and Hana catches herself falling into her teen behavior—getting enamored by a pretty, good looking face.

The fact that he saved her from getting drugged isn’t helping either, rather enhancing because a man protecting her is totally her type. She orders a coke. Another cocktail would be more preferable but alcohol makes her clingy and whiny and no matter what will happen between them—or not—she doesn’t want him to see this side of her, so caffeine will suffice.

They end up at her apartment. At first, her companion for the night, he introduced himself as Ellis, wanted to go to a hotel but Hana trusted him that he had no ill intent and led him to her place instead. It’s only a small one-room-apartment in the dormitory but cheaper and more comfortable than a foreign hotel room.

Ellis’s an odd one, not in a bad way, but Hana has never met a man like him. There isn’t a single place of skin left on her he hasn’t kissed—or licked. She doesn’t mind, though, nobody has ever paid so much attention to her body and where she likes to be touched—or licked for that matter.

At least, he knows what to do with his tongue. Maybe Hana hasn’t had as many encounters with men as Anne or Heather but she knows for sure Ellis’s a great kisser. His kisses don’t feel like he wants to clean her mouth in a very sloppy way. On the other hand, he isn’t an inexperienced teen.

Another thing about him is his constant sniffing. Her hair, her throat, the juncture between her neck and shoulder and between her thighs seem to be his favorite places.

Everyone has different things they like; licking and sniffing—which Hana both actually enjoys, realizing that during the night—definitely are way better, and more harmless, than him wanting to choke her or telling her ›I want you to punish me‹ or whatever.

Ellis’s someone who likes to please and he’s utterly attentive—of course, that’s also a part of Hana’s type.

When she wakes up in the morning, Ellis’s still there, fast asleep. His face is snuggled into her stomach, forehead resting right beneath the gap of her breasts and his warm huffs of breath slightly tickling her. One arm lays under her waist, the other one is draped over her thighs, their legs are a tangled mess. Her own hands are on his head, fingers cradled in soft black locks.

The last bits of the summer sun illuminates them from her window. Ellis’ pale skin glows in the sun rays, painting him golden as if he’s radiating from the inside. Dust particles dance in the streaming light. The scene is so peaceful and undisturbed—

Hana fears Ellis waking up and the moment being broken. Last night will vanish like a dream, only to be replayed in her head. It’s something fickle, like true love. This man could be the man she dreamed of, and she met him in a place of short-termed encounters, the reality of the present.

Sighing, she burns everything into her memory and her fingers brush through his hair, slowly starting from the nape of his neck until they reach his ears. Ellis sighs as well—pleased unlike her—and nudges his nose into the soft skin of her stomach, the weight of his arm wandering up to her waist and he pulls her even closer with his hand on the small of her back.

Apparently she found his soft spot. Hana smiles to herself and she applies a little bit more pressure with her thumbs behind his ears, the other fingers kneading his neck again. When he presses open-mouthed kisses against her belly, she knows he’s awake and yet, the idle moment doesn’t shatter.

Her heart thumps loudly in her chest and she’s sure he can hear it, if him inching higher is any indication, leaving behind a wet trail on her torso. Ellis’s chuckling a bit, sending small vibrations through her body, before his nose is buried into her neck, taking deep breaths. His tongue darts out, licking a long stripe along her throat. Hana shudders, fingers digging into his scalp and then, his lips press against hers, kissing her senseless.

Her previous hookups—although scarce—never went like this and she wonders if the difference between them and him has a meaning. Not to forget that he’s the first one she invited into her small personal space.

»Morning,« Ellis mumbles low and raspy, one hand brushing over her side.

Hana’s still catching her breath and gets lost in his warm, dark orbs. She sees her own reflection in them and it dawns upon her that she hasn’t removed her makeup last night. Good, she never wears much—why should she plaster her whole face with numerous products if she has a good complexion?—but her eyeliner is certainly smudged and her mascara all over her eyes. Only her tinted lip balm was already gone, smeared away between countless kisses.

Even so, she smiles back. »Morning. Did you sleep well?« she asks, fingers still running through his hair.

A low sound, reminding her of a growl, escapes him, and his nose dives back into her neck. Ellis’ warm breath fans over her sensitive skin as he speaks, »Very.«

[thisdreamplace]

oh my goodness hayyy it’s me 🍁 anon once again! apologies for so many.. I absolutely adore how you guide from life honestly your words have guided me through such hard times.

I wanna ask some questions so feel free to Answer them!

what is your favorite part about nondual/ Taoism

how did you discover it?

what are some hot takes you have about it?

how do you input in daily life!

what are your favorite ways to fully surrender?

what do you do in a wave of a depressive time?

LAST BUT NOT LEAST!

what are your favorite experiences ever Since you gained this knowledge !🎼🎵

alright have a lovely day! I always love your talks!

hiiii <3 thank you for your sweet words~ hehe

hmmmm

well, for me my favorite part in all of this was how it opened me up so much and allowed me to allow love into my life, for the first time ever, with less fear. as a child i was very loving but as i grew older and felt more of the coldness of the world, i really closed myself off from so much. at some point, i even saw myself as extremely bitter and cold and would think of myself as an ice princess... so yeah. definitely forever thankful that nondualism/taoism helped warm me, and open me up to unconditional love.

i remember during early 2020, i began to get really into spirituality and exploring what that means for me. at the time, i was highly interested in witchcraft (ive always had a true interest and connection with the natural world, which is why this path appealed to me~) and didnt really believe in the law of attraction at all, but going onto tumblr to connect with witchblr, i would often see quotes from neville goddard that sparked an interest in me, and the rest is history :)

i think my biggest hot takes are that... so much of it is blown out of proportion, sensationalized, and used to prey on the weak. once people started to realize how popular all of this could be, so many people began to jump on the train and often share information or enforce expectations that are rather harmful, except they dont care because its all about what hooks the desperate people and keeps them coming back. the amount of coaches and things like that which are just looking to make a buck, is pretty wild. even for people who arent asking for money, theres some that clearly just want the clout and they dont really care about anything else. so much of this is actually extremely natural and not supernatural at all, but a lot of what "sells" are these hollywood movie promises of success. as someone who started in this community when there was like... 1 or 2 blogs actually dedicated to this, its definitely grown a lot and almost has become something i seperate myself from, because i dont really fully agree with the way a lot of things are now taught or the way theyre approached. i kind of like to stay in my own lane, stay true to my experience, and hopefully that reaches people as is... :)

for daily life, i try to think about what i learned from the book, "breaking the habit of being yourself" and as well as from the book, "the tao of pooh" because these are two things that really deeply touched me and made lightbulbs go off. im not perfect... but usually i believe that what you do within, you have to start to do without if youll ever see anything different happen. but this is on a very personal level, like for example, "be the change you wish to experience" if you want to experience more love, be love. if you want to experience less stress, begin to implement that... etc etc

i think my favorite way to fully surrender is to cry it out, and take care of myself first (and repeat as needed, hahah)

gosh, this is hard. during a depressive time all i can do is... be depressed. but i always put in effort to not lose sight of whats in front of me. being really depressed can make you feel like nothing is great anymore in your life, and its all empty. so i always try to remember how much love is there already, and all of the blessings that havent gone anywhere, all of the ones ive had up until now, gratitude. in every little pocket of sunshine that i get, i hold onto it because (in a depressive time) i know that the melancholy is lurking. but i still go outside and get fresh air, i still try to exist around those moments i can do nothing more but bedrot or doomscroll.

i think my most favorite experiences are all of the little things that living this way has afforded me. for once, i felt happy. for once, i felt loved. for once, i could push anxiety to the side and truly live. for once, i truly trusted in me. i wasnt afraid of the world anymore, i was enamored with it. i think being able to experience that, after the life i had been living in the darkness for so long before, is truly my most favorite thing of all. ☁️

anyways, hopefully you find this somewhat insightful :')

xoxo 🫧

[theoreticallysensible]

Oscar Wilde’s De Profundis truly is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. The total, unconditional love he has for his lover Bosie, even though Bosie treated him so awfully and is the reason he’s writing this letter from prison for having a sexual relationship with this man who doesn’t even care about him. The way he connects this unconditional love he feels to Christ, the first romantic, who found true beauty and depth of soul in sorrow and sin and the real understanding of love and human complexity that can only come from such deep low points. His commitment to seeing everything through a lens of love, meaning a belief - a hope - in the potential and value of all people. The way he sees that as his only way to stay sane, because hate and meanness eat you from the inside and make life miserable. The way that this love sadly blinded him in how overwhelming it was, and made him unable to direct it rationally towards Bosie’s moral improvement, instead enabling Bosie in his cruel indifference to his wellbeing. A sadly inauthentic love of delusional devotion rather than clear-sighted platonic compassion. The tragedy of this is exquisite- and the beauty of his perseverance through this tragedy. The way he learns that the truly loving thing is to try and teach Bosie how to learn from his mistakes, to embrace love with him. Realising that combining his love with concern for morality makes it more honest, and loving him even when he acknowledges and critiques his faults is a more truly unconditional love. His commitment to an idea of what people could be by looking at them with love, living with a focus on what isn’t, but might be, is, especially with all the Christ references, almost a negative theology.

It reminded me of Simone Weil’s belief in an absent, mysteriously impotent God, who communicates to us and materialises itself in the world through our consciences. But Wilde’s is a more hopeful image than Weil’s. Weil believed that suffering, even total dehumanising suffering must be accepted as part of the fundamental evil of the universe. We cannot help but fight against it, driven by God’s urge to love, but it is part of God’s plan and so it must be revered, even embraced, as worship. For Wilde love of suffering is useful simply because it allows for better understanding and a more peaceful soul. Both recognise love as a necessary part of understanding, for Weil part of her famous philosophy of learning through attention rather than effort, but for her it is again for the purpose of worship. Both died as a result of their tremendous love. Weil from starving herself out of solidarity with prisoners of war, Wilde from ill health as a result of his time in prison, sent there only because he foolishly trusted his beloved’s advice.

The more I write the more I realise the difference between them in incredibly slim, but I still see more hope in Wilde’s vision. For Wilde love makes life worth living, a way to improve the world through enthusiastically sharing it. It is a means to an end of collective happiness. For Weil it is pure service to an absent, dead concept, a horribly nihilistic distortion of religion. I love Weil so much. Her purity of purpose is inspiring, from her work in factories, to her fighting in the Spanish Civil War, to her work with the French resistance. But her vision of the world was miserable and austere, and explains to me some of the more conservative elements of her otherwise radical political philosophy. Wilde’s love is a love of hope and joy, and I genuinely think that having read his ideas have made me a better person. Wilde was an agnostic, but his writing on Christ almost made me consider religion again, from a purely negative theology perspective. I think Weil demonstrates the folly of that though. I thank her for providing that.

I do think the similarities between these two are cool though. They were both extremely unusual people, outspoken, abrasive individuals. I wonder if there’s anything in the fact that Wilde was bisexual and Weil seems to have had some sort of gender fuckery going on (she would sometimes sign letters as a man, as a sort of maybe, maybe not joke - in Lars Iyer’s book My Weil the character who takes on her name is fittingly a trans woman). Their shared queerness in a time when that was very much not accepted (Wilde went to prison for it, that’s where he wrote the letter) may explain their similar individuality and introspection and critical eye towards conventional morality. Certainly with Wilde that makes sense, Weil idk though - she’s just built different I think.

[ruinouss]

Name: Faye Caddel

Nickname: Red, Short stack, Hellion

Relationship Status: Single. (verse dependent)

Gender: Cisfemale

Romantic Orientation: Romantically she's demi. She has to develop a deep connection with someone before wanting to be in a romantic or committed relationship with someone. As far as sexually she's pan. She doesn’t have a preference for any gender because she simply craves physical contact and isn't picky with what gender she gets it from.

Preferred Pet Names: Obviously, she loves the common ones "Baby, babe, honey, etc" make her heart flutter but what she really loves is something unique. It doesn't have to be anything super crazy but if it's low-key an insult as well she'll love it a bit more.

Opinion on True Love: Faye believes that true love isn't limited to romantic relations. To her, it's an unconditional love that can be shared between friends, family, lovers, and even animal companions. It's a love that drives you to be better and do better with little to no additional thought. To take the bad with the good and accept the other for who or what they are without judgment.

Opinion on Love at First Sight: Hahaha. Absolutely not. Love is a complex emotion that requires a connection or at the very minimum getting to know someone. How could you ever love someone without knowing who they are? If anything, she'd argue it was lust at first sight. Even she’s been guilty of it.

How ‘Romantic’ Are They?: Extremely. Faye is all about catering to her partners and finding out what they do and don't like. She adapts as best she can to her partners and tends to dote on them if they'll allow it.

Ideal Physical Traits: They're not all that important to her. She can look past just about anything if she gets along with someone well enough. But she does love eyes, viewing them as windows to the soul, a good smile, and scars. She does think they're sexy.

Ideal Personality Traits: The biggest one is definitely loyalty. She needs to know her partner is going to have her back especially because she devotes everything to them. She also loves someone with a good sense of humor and maybe a bit unhinged/reckless. She likes a wild spirit she can let loose with.

Unattractive Physical Traits: None. Again, Faye doesn't really consider physical traits that important.

Unattractive Personality Traits: Disloyalty. There's nothing she hates more than someone that can't be trusted. She can handle a lot of bullshit and nonsense but there is nothing she hates more than a traitor.

Ideal Date: Something exciting. While she doesn't mind doing something simple like seeing a movie or just chatting and getting to know each other there's nothing like a date that'll get the heart racing and possibly in trouble with the law. She's appreciates any date where both parties can cut loose and just laugh and enjoy one another's company.

Do They Have a Type?: Anyone willing to put up with her shenanigans. She is adaptable and tries to find what her intended partner likes and match that but sometimes it's hard not to be herself.

Average Relationship Length: Couple months to a year.

Preferred Non-Sexual Intimacy: She's very much into physical contact so things like holding hands, playing with her partner's hair or having them play with hers, back scratches, and falling asleep on each other. But she also really enjoys quality time like cooking together, eye contact, staying up late talking, and especially playful bullying (her fav).

Commitment Level: If in a committed relationship she's monogamous. She may be willing to dip into polyamory as long as rules and boundaries are set up and all parties are open to it. Faye is extremely loyal and wants the same commitment level.

Opinion of Public Affection: She's indifferent. It's whatever her partner prefers though if someone makes a snide comment when she's not displaying a lot of PDA she will absolutely go overboard in it to get a rise out of them.

Past Relationships?: She's had a handful of them but unfortunately, none have really worked out for her. When she was younger her need for someone to care for her allowed people to take advantage of her and as she got older they ended up just being real nasty pieces of work. Eventually, she started leaning toward one night stands and friends with benefits.

Writers Note: I have no idea what to really put here so I'll add a few somewhat related things here: Faye tends to develop crushes fairly easily but eventually she'll try and snuff out any feelings. Due to how poorly all her previous relations have been she doesn't feel like she's meant to find a special someone and sometimes if things do move to a committed relationship she can sometimes become a bit flighty. She gets especially nervous when things go very well all the time because she's afraid of losing someone again. And sometimes when she manages to move past the flightiness she can still feel insecure and fearful, especially if she doesn't see her partner for some time.

TAGGED BY: stole it from people on dash.

TAGGING: YOU but tag me so I can see