#the friendship. not even 50/50 emotionally’
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Have you got in mind some pros and cons for dating Lily, Severus and any of the Marauders since they all seem so interested in the dating topic?
This is interesting lol . Let's dive into it. I promise not to be too harsh and try to be objective:
Severus Snape:
Pros:
He will never cheat on you in your life. In fact, he probably won't look at anyone else for the rest of his life. If he loves you, it's just you, no one else.
He would probably kill for you, or make the world burn for you, or betray everyone for you, or generally do anything morally questionable for you.
He’s total "malewife" material and has zero fragile masculinity.
You’d have a potions master at home, so a huge part of your life would be sorted. Got a headache? He has a potion for that. Feeling sick? Also. Looking like shit and need something to make you look radiant? Count on it.
Cons:
He has a terrible temper and probably many depressive episodes, if you don’t know how to deal with that, you’ll probably dump him quickly.
Don’t expect him to talk about his problems or open up emotionally, because he’s basically incapable of managing his emotions maturely, so be prepared to hit a wall every time there’s a conflict.
Socially awkward, don’t expect him to attend any parties or social events willingly or interact with the neighbors—he finds that utterly disgusting, it’s just not his thing.
He’s slightly experienced, so if you try to lie to him, he’ll know, and that sucks because everyone deserves mental privacy, but considering he’s terribly insecure, we can’t rule out that he might do it just to avoid losing his mind over any doubt.
His way of confronting emotional problems is by not confronting them. He’s a master at avoidance with a terribly disorganized attachment style, so be prepared because he’s a textbook neurodivergent.
Lily Evans:
Pros:
She will get along great with your friends because she knows how to charm and socialize, so she’ll shine at any social event you take her to.
If you have kids, she won’t mind staying at home while you go out for beers with your buddies, so if you're a shitty parent or partner who doesn't understand the concept of task division, you're in luck because she’ll handle everything.
She’s a very skilled witch, so that’s great in case there's a dangerous situation and you're a bit useless.
She’ll forgive almost anything you do, unless you use dark magic, so you could, I don’t know, rob a bank, and as long as you didn’t use an unforgivable curse, she might let it slide.
Cons:
She’ll probably dump you if she thinks you’re no longer... let’s say... useful or beneficial in some way.
If you tell her about some serious issue, but it doesn’t affect any of her friends or people she likes, she might gaslight you massively about it, even if it’s about an attempted murder.
She tends to get along with shady people as long as those shady people benefit her, so be careful with her friendships.
She hates being contradicted on anything and will probably shut you up or make a huge scene if you dare to contradict her or tell her she's wrong or that something she thinks isn’t true.
James Potter:
Pros:
He’s rich.
You’ll never have to work again in your life because he’s rich.
Cons:
He thinks it's funny to strip people in public and suffocate them against their will.
He thinks it’s funny to hex people and cast forbidden spells just because it amuses him.
He thinks it’s a good idea to leave his pregnant or recently postpartum wife at home in the middle of a war while he goes and acts like a fool with his best friend.
You’ll have to put up with his best friend 24/7 in your house whether you want to or not, because they’re practically one person.
He probably won’t help at all with household chores, but hey, he brings the money and the house, right? That’s enough.
He’s the typical guy whose greatest achievements happened in his school years, and he’ll probably spend the next 50 years of his life talking about them because he’ll never do anything else worth mentioning.
His greatest interests are hanging out with his friends and sports, and hanging out with his friends and sports again. As you can see, he’s intellectually super interesting.
Any person with an average intellect would get bored of him after two months, but hey, if you give him a kid, you’ll have guaranteed alimony, so if that’s your goal, go ahead (this could also be a pro).
Sirius Black:
Pros:
You’re going to have some awesome parties. Seriously, he’s the best for going out, getting drunk, doing some lines, and having an amazing time.
Always up for adventures, so trips and getaways are guaranteed. If you’re into that, he’s perfect.
He’s rich, so there will never be a shortage of money for a luxury getaway or spending tons at a casino in Monte Carlo or Las Vegas.
He’d fight anyone who dared to bother you. Which isn’t very healthy, but there’s a positive side to it.
He might be an absolute jerk, but with the people he cares about, he’s a great guy, and if he loves you, he’ll be faithful and be there for everything.
Cons:
Mommy issues. Seriously, huge ones. He’ll constantly talk about how much he hated or hates his mother, literally 40 minutes of conversation about that every single day. “My mom this, my mom that.” It can get exhausting.
He feels so smug about leaving his extreme-right family, and he’ll remind you of it eighty times a day while at the same time laughing at people who can’t dress a certain way because they don’t have money or mistreating the staff because they served him something wrong.
He has an unresolved, codependent relationship with his best friend. He’s literally obsessed with him, and he’ll spend the day talking about him, and you’ll never know if he’s really with you or just with you because he can’t be with James.
Yeah, you’ll have a great time partying with him, but there will be plenty of times when he goes overboard, leaves you hanging, and you won’t hear from him for days because he’s a fucking irresponsible jerk.
He has the emotional maturity of a 15-year-old, so whenever you try to confront him maturely or have an adult conversation, he’ll get super defensive, and when he feels you’ve really gotten under his skin, he’ll hop on his bike and leave.
100% chance you’ll have to go get him out of jail more than once for some crazy thing he did.
You don’t have a boyfriend; you have a son
Remus Lupin:
Pros:
He’s quite nice and pleasant.
He’ll probably do anything you want as long as you don’t leave him, because he’s terrified of rejection.
He has more common sense than the rest of his friends.
You can have an interesting conversation with him, unlike his friends who only talk about sports and pretty annoying heteronormative stuff.
Cons:
The minute there’s a problem, he’ll run away.
He might leave you two hundred times and come back begging you two hundred times, emotionally blackmailing you into getting back with him.
He might get you pregnant and when you tell him, he’ll leave you.
He might just leave you in general, so you’ll never have a stable and healthy relationship for your mental health because you’ll always live with the fear that he’ll leave you.
He spends his days lamenting about how miserable he is and how badly life’s treating him, but he never tries to solve his problems and always blames his illness, not the fact that he’s a conformist who doesn’t look for solutions.
His friends can do the worst shit in the world, and he’ll never confront them.
You’re literally dating a coward.
Peter Pettigrew:
Pros:
He’s very nice, like Remus.
Always said hello.
Always kind to the neighbors.
Always bought you flowers and had little gestures for you.
He celebrated all your successes as if they were his own, your biggest fan and support in everything.
Cons:
He’s probably spent your entire relationship hiding bodies in the basement of your house.
#severus snape#severus snape headcanons#lily evans#lily evans headcanons#james potter#james potter headcanons#sirius black#sirius black headcanons#remus lupin#remus lupin headcanons#peter pettigrew#peter pettigrew headcanons#marauders#marauders era#the marauders#marauders headcanons#marauders era headcanons
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i know i write and i yearn but—and maybe this is naive and unrealistic but idc—i would rather drink a denim jacket through a metal straw than date any man i’ve ever encountered in my life bc why would i give up my alone time and start splitting things 50/50 if i was already paying for everything myself 😭
#i know i yearn and i love to do it but if you all met me you’d think i were fuckboy 😭#if any of you are in actual good relationships tell me there’s light at the end of the tunnel 😭#not even kidding i had this coworker and i remember having lunch w him and 2 of my other friends from work#and we got to relationships and one friend brought up her ex#and i was teasingly like yeah. splitting a disney vacation 50/50 when it was your birthday was crazy. thank god he’s gone#and this man (ofc) was like ‘what so you’d never split 50/50 with a guy?’#and i was like. well no bc i’m not insane#and he was so personally offended and i was like. first of all you look like you snuck onto earth#second of all why do you care i would never ever ever be dating you#third of all splitting things halfway when a man will always make more money than me. wild#and then a few weeks later there was a whole fight in the friend group and i didn’t even have a dog in that argument#so i was so confused when one of my friends told me this dude had beef with me#and i was like ?? how is that possible i don’t even speak to him 😭#come to find out he said ‘well she was the one who said she never chases after anyone and it shows bc she doesn’t put in the effort into#the friendship. not even 50/50 emotionally’#and i was like pause. record scratch. freeze frame.#we’re not friends 😭😭😭😭#being mad that i wouldn’t split anything nor chase a man into a relationship is wild. bc it would never be your relationship#he was such a crybaby (derogatory) man. i think about that once month#don’t even get me started on all the other shit he would crash out about
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astro observations pt 9
*solar return edition*
sun conjunct jupiter seem to absolutely thrive that year, they seem to well and truly find themselves, and who they are when maybe they were restricted before.
quite obvious, but i always found looking back if i have 50%+ aspects being harsh in my solar return chart, the year is very tough. i've also seen this w my friends chart aswell.
in turn, if it is mainly harmonious aspects the year is all round very good!
venus conjunct jupiter also seem to have such a great sense of style this year, and that being a focus. i have also seen them form and maintain some amazing friendships.
4h stellium manifests in different ways, but one way is attachment issues. maybe you really struggle being separate from your family this year, or maybe you feel guilt and that you constantly need to be with them.
sagittarius rising is a big travel indicator.
moon in 8th could show you are healing from something emotionally traumatic.
moon in 4th see family as a priority that year.
NN conjunct mc/ mars conjunct mc/ mars conjunct NN tend to be very ambitious this year, and put a lot of effort into succeeding. this could be within a career, or anything that works in hand with that professional status eg university.
jupiter in the houses whilst showing abundance, could also represent a fear of lacking such, eg jupiter in 11h may fear not making friends (even though they end up making loads).
aqua on dc can represent a large switch up romantically, like multiple talking stages, or maybe it feels a bit 'all over the place'. it could mean breakups. it may also indicate online being a huge factor romantically as well.
leo risings tend to grow in confidence a lottt that year.
charts where most (if not all) planets are in houses 1-6 tend to be more focused on yourself, your mental health, your priorities etc. you may feel lonely, but your priority is you. you may hide yourself, not necessarily physically (but can be), your personality, your hobbies etc.
in turn, charts where most (if not all) planets are in houses 7-12 tend to be focused on others. this could be friends or partners, or maybe even others perception of you. you may also compare yourself a lot. you also show so much of yourself.
#astrology#solar return chart#solar return#conjunct#square#opposite#venus conjunct jupiter#sun conjunct jupiter#4th house stellium#sagittarius rising#moon in 4th house#moon in 8th house#north node conjunct mc#north node conjunct mars#mars conjunct mc#jupiter in the houses#aquarius in 7th#leo risings#lower hemisphere chart#upper hemisphere chart#astrology observations
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Omgggg someone that writes Gilmore girls??? Could you do something for Dean Forester there’s like, nothingggg 👉🏻👈🏻 anything
Yeah totally! I’m gonna do a fluff A-Z but if you want any other ideas feel free to commission in! I hope you enjoy! - Willow
Dean Forester fluff A-Z headcannons
A = Affection (are they affectionate with you?)
Very affectionate
loves to give you a lot of physical affection ( hugs, cuddling, little kisses when wanting to give you attention)
But I definitely think gift giving is more of his love language
Dude literally started building a car for Rory only 3 months into their relationship
He’s definitely the type to spoil you in gifts , you’ll find a lot of handmade little trinkets like jewelry for you to wear.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Okay we’ve seen his other friends like with Todd, but definitely think he’s the type of friend that doesn’t require a lot of energy with.
He’d be the type of friend who’d help you with any maintenance around your house or car. He doesn’t want you having to pay anyone for work he’d do for free.
The friendship would start at school, he’d catch you reading a book or just sitting alone.
He’d watch you for the span of a few days, seeing you completing immersed in your book or drawing before having the nerve to come over and talk to you.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
feel like in the beginning of the relationship, he’d only be the big spoon in order to comfort you.
Definitely later on the relationship he’d ease up and slowly grow okay to being the little spoon.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Seeing how his married life with Lindsey was, he’d definitely try to be the provider in the relationship.
He wouldn’t be opposed to be stay at home and cooking and cleaning while he works, but he does seem the type to At least try and help around the house when asked to.
Let’s just hope that marriage doesn’t turn out like his and Lindsey 💀
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
He’s definitely the type to try to hold off talking about his problems until eventually he blows up
It’s been seen in both his relationship with Rory and with Lindsey that when there are arguments, he tends to let out his bottled up emotions .
He’s definitely the type to have a big argument with you, and in the heat of the moment, he dumps you.
Instant regret on his part but what’s said is done.
He’d definitely be avoiding you for the first few weeks out of heartbreak ( even though he’s the dummy who dumped you)
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Ummm he’d want to get married very fast and we all already know how he is about commitment 💀 ( just keep Rory away from that man fr and you might be safe)
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He’s kinda emotionally here and there, but he’s very physically loving as stated before. He’s the type to hold your hand and wrap his arms around you.
Emotionally it’s 50/50. Sometimes he can be a bit immature when handling any emotions that are more leaning to sad or angry.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
When first being friends, he definitely gives side hugs since he’s not all too comfortable with being physical.
When you two have been in a relationship for a while however,He gives big hugs, very warm and welcoming.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Definitely three months into the relationship, he tends to rush a bit but the feelings are true.
He definitely wants you to know his feelings are there not just by actions but words as well.
He wants you to feel the same and let him know that you love him too
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
He gets jealous very easily, and WILL get physical with the person he’s jealous of, especially if that person makes you cry.
Man will fight and win.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
He kisses on your lips, your cheek, your forehead, your nose. He likes peppering you with kisses when you’re alone
Dean would like to be kisses on the cheek or on the lips, you can’t really reach his forehead unless you’re the same height. He wants as much physical attention as he gives you.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
He’s pretty good with children, having a little sister and all helps build some form of patience.
Definitely the type to swing them around or put a child on his shoulders to make them happy.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Dean wouldn’t want to get up early, he’d cuddle with you and have the blankets wrapped around you so you can’t escape his morning nap.
He’d make some coffee for you and give you his shirt to walk around the house with. He desperately would want you wearing his clothes.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Movie nights for sure. He’d buy some food and you both would hang out and watch any movie of you’re choosing ( that or he’d pick one of his favorites)
You’d both watch quietly unless one of you breaks the silence, then there’s chatting for the rest of the night.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Once he feels comfortable with you, he’ll open up about more personal emotions and thoughts he has.
Overall though he’ll tell you bits and pieces about his daily events.
He’s very much a guy who will tell you anything you want to know, but more personal emotions he might hold onto for a bit.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Very easily angered.
He tends to blow up because he bottles his emotions in most of the time.
If there’s communication and no accusations then the chances of him blowing up are slim to none.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
He’ll definitely remember little things about you that you won’t even remember telling him.
If you like sci-fi or cars or books, he’ll keep that in mind on an outting.
He’s definitely the type to find stuff you like and gift it to you.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
Definitely the first time you told him you loved him.
He’d try to not be emotional, but he’ll remember looking into your eyes as you dropped those three small words onto him.
You’d definitely put a stupid, goofy smile on his face now anytime he thinks about that night.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He’s super protective!
Can and will beat the crap out of someone if anyone tries to disrespect you.
Dean will not tolerate anyone disrespecting his partner or making them uncomfortable.
He would 100% would go to comfort you after the discourse and make sure you’re okay.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Dean 👏🏻Forester👏🏻 puts👏🏻 in 👏🏻effort 👏🏻like 👏🏻no 👏🏻other! 👏🏻
Romantic outings
Building you a car from scratch
Would take you out around the town
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
He blow up very quickly
He also will try to hold it in so him blowing up will be very very stressful
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
He doesn’t really care too much how he looks
He just doesn’t wanna look dumb or uncool around you
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Very much so, whenever the relationship between you both grows, the more clingier he gets.
You’ll get calls and voicemails whenever you both aren’t together.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
He has most definitely at one point practiced kissing his pillow before trying to kiss you.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
He wouldn’t like someone who’s pushy or unhygienic.
He’s not into someone who doesn’t want to put effort into the relationship
And he’s not into someone who’d use him to get to others.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
He snores and drools in his sleep
He’s definitely the type to love tummy time ( sleep on his tummy and sprawled out )
You will probably be crushed underneath his weight.
I hoped you enjoyed!! Commission me for whatever characters you want! I’m mostly doing A-Z headcannons until I’m comfortable enough to write . Thank you !!! - Tulip
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It Hurts Me (an Elvis fic)
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Pairing: 50s!Elvis x Fem!Reader
Summary: Elvis’ high school best friend, and also his crush, gets into a bad relationship, and the whole town starts to notice including Elvis. When it hits a breaking point for him, he decides he’s had enough.
Warnings/Triggers: Domestic violence, Emotional abuse, Self-loathing behavior, references to puking (Elvis), references to bruises, slight mentions of payback (Elvis), Crying. If I missed any, please lmk!
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Memphis, Tennessee-
Elvis was in love with you. A broken girl in a broken relationship.
You had met a guy a year back, and you fell for him. He had impressed you with his charm, charm that would soon disappear.
**
Elvis fell in love with you the second he laid eyes on you. History class at Humes High. You came half way through the school year, embarrassed and shy.
The second you walked through the classroom door, a young Elvis felt like he had been electrocuted. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was about you that made him feel as he did.
He loved the way you smiled, it made him smile. Your laugh was like heaven to him. He couldn't get enough of your sweet voice, even when you weren't around his mind was full of you and your voice. Every time you touched him he would get chills. It was like a flame igniting inside him.
You two were fast friends. In fact, Elvis was the only friend you had in Memphis. The best friend in the world was what you would describe him as. You spent every free second you had together. He was like a breath of fresh air, an escape from real life and all the troubles it came with.
Yet for some reason you had convinced yourself that you only saw him as a friend. He was strictly off limits intimately.
As the years went on, Elvis was finally going to find the courage to ask you out. But when you met a guy at Memphis State College Elvis felt helpless. He couldn't bring himself to tell you his feelings, so he sat by and watched the love of his life with another man. It was awful- even making him physically sick sometimes.
You seemed so happy and Elvis didn't want to change that. But as two months turned into a year, poor Elvis fell even deeper for you. It was like he had no control over it- an invisible force pulling him to you.
**
You had been hurting for months. Max had started showing his true colors.
A slight, meaningless glance at a man that wasn't him would earn a punch. Then there were the times that he put you down emotionally, he could make everything you did something to make you feel horrible about. You were either too loving or not enough. Nothing you did was right.
You felt so utterly alone. He had made you hate yourself to the point that you couldn't even look at yourself in the mirror.
Then there was him, your best friend, Elvis. The rare moments you had with him were the only times you felt loved. But even then, you didn't think you deserved to be loved. Max had screwed with you so much mentally and physically. He had broken you.
And you thought you had concealed it so well. In public you wore makeup and acted as if nothing was wrong.
But people talked and snooped. Somewhere along the way the whole town had an idea of how unwell your relationship was going.
But Elvis had it all figured out the second it began. It started with less eye contact, then you lost your ability to touch him, the flinching away from his own touch came next, his heart broke when your smile faded away. He was absolutely sure when your visits became more rare, and eventually they stopped altogether except special occasions like holidays and the such.
And when your little sister let it slip that she hadn't been hearing from you as much either, he went home and cried for hours. He couldn't believe it. It made his blood boil that you were hurting. He was hurting from just thinking about it.
His family spent every holiday with yours, something that came about from your friendship. In the process of you two getting closer, so did your families.
On Thanksgiving he locked himself in the bathroom and puked. You were hugging your mother when your sleeve rolled up the slightest bit, and he came face to face with a bruised handprint on your forearm.
**
Christmas, 1954-
Elvis had just began getting famous, it was happening so fast. You were so proud of him.
After not being able to think fast enough to get away, you were sucked into a hug by him. You were so scared, and wished you could go back in time so it wouldn't have happened.
Max had seen, and pulled you into another room. "What the hell was that, Y/N?" He snarled, pushing you into the wall forcefully. "I'm sorry! I didn't know he was going to do that," you whispered.
"I'll bet you liked it," "No, I promise!"
He obviously thought differently as he smacked you across the face, "you little slut, don't you ever pull that shit again," and then he straightened his tie and walked back into the living room.
You sank onto the floor in a crying mess.
After what felt like hours, but in reality was only two minutes, a knock came from the door. You froze, covering your mouth with your hand to silence yourself.
Your antics had been unsuccessful as the door creeped open slowly. Elvis poked his head in. At seeing you, he quickly came in and dropped down onto the floor in front of you.
He didn't even say anything at first- opening his arms to you and waiting. You realized how desperately you missed him and scooted into his embrace. You held onto him for dear life, nuzzling your head as far as you could into his chest.
He maneuvered you onto his lap and held you as you cried. Elvis stroked your hair gently and rocked you. The two of you stayed like that until you were ready to let go.
You stared into your best friend's eyes and mustered up the courage to finally tell him. You were so done with feeling this way, you missed him so badly that it hurt your stomach sometimes.
"I'm sorry, Elvis. It's just t-that Max-" you we're interrupted by his finger on your lips. "I know, honey. It's okay, you ain't gotta worry about him no more." He said gently. "What do you mean?"
The ghost of a smile flashed over his lips, "When you're ready to go back out there, I'm gonna kick his ass." He stated matter of factly. All you could do was stare back at him.
Elvis's eyes glanced to your lips, causing chills to run up your spine. And as he leaned in you didn't stop him.
When his lips connected with yours it felt like fireworks had erupted in your belly. You soon realized that you didn't ever want this to end, and that you had been wanting this since the second you met Elvis Presley.
You had been in love with him all along, just too scared to admit it.
He rested his forehead against yours as he pulled away. "It hurts me the way he treats you, honey." He whispered, breathlessly. And for the first time in a very long time you smiled a genuine smile.
"I love ya, Y/N. I have since day one," he breathed. You grabbed his face and pulled him into a passionate kiss. His tongue caressed your bottom lip, making you sigh, and in the process he slipped it into your mouth.
When you pulled away for air, you whispered, "I love you too, Elvis. I always have."
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Heyyy, stopping in to give you this fic from my Wattpad that’s from 2022. Um it’s probably horrible, so bear with me. I just wanted to post something to keep my account active while I continue working on the His Annie Baker series. Enjoy🫶🏻
Tags: @queenstarlight @jhoneybees
#elvis presley#elvis fans#elvisaaronpresley#elvis fic#vintage#70s#elvis the pelvis#elvis x reader#elvis x y/n#fanfic#50s elvis#70s elvis#60s elvis#elvis fandom#elvis fanfiction#elvis presley fanfiction#elvis the king
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it's jarring how many self-professed straight people compartmentalize what is objectively some gay ass behavior; i'm not even referring to people who are consciously closeted- i'm talking about like, 50+ year old suburban swingers, people who functionally do foreplay on eachother but don't take it a step further because that's what would "actually" make it gay, emotionally dependent friendships that are filled to the brim with an intensity that's rendered chaotic and directionless by neither party wishing to acknowledge the gay option, etc. these types of relationships populate the world around us, but hardly anyone discusses them openly. so many straight people love doing these things, but they instinctively rationalize it as something frivolous that 'doesn't count' simply because there is no meaning attached to it within the templates of their pre-existing heterosexual lifestyles. they don't pursue these feelings further because the benefits of acquiescing to heterosexuality outweigh having to navigate the unknown; and it's specifically by donning the 'straight' marker that they can afford to partake in sex/affection this way. it's like thinking that eating a fruit after eating a chocolate bar cancels out the fact you had the latter.......buddy, you're still lubing them up with your saliva and putting them both inside of you!
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Random Star Trek TOS analysis: Spock & male gender expectations and stereotypes
I was recently discussing with my best friend his experiences growing up in a very binary “right-wing” society. He expressed that he often felt ashamed of the fact, that he’s very emotional, soft person, with big interest in fashion and other things which stereotypically associated with female experiences (manicure, makeup, emotionally-driven literature, “girly” cartoons & shows, etc). He also shared that his male friends would rarely discuss emotions, feelings, and allow themselves to just feel, as it is not seen as “masculine” in the society we both grew up in, so he relates more to female experiences.
And we ended up talking about TOS and Spock. Because I am trekked in the head I guess, and he would also relate to Spock in this particular situation.
I’ve noticed, that despite the stereotype that men are not emotionally and physically gentle with each other, it does not coincide with what straight male writers and creators love to portray in male friendship driven media, which is often considered as an ideal. For example, Lord of The Rings comes to mind. It was written in the 30s-40s, and male characters are very gentle with each other and are open about their feelings with each other. They hold hands, kiss each other, cry. It is not portrayed as romantic or weak, at least, romantic possibility part is not portrayed so intentionally, and those tender relationship we can also observe in the film adaptations of the books.
Also, I’ve read a book by USSR sci-fi writers Strugatsky brothers, Prisoners of Power. USSR’s ideal of a man is seen as pretty stereotypical, BUT, it is actually far more normal for men to be physically affectionate in the Eastern European society. If you watch USSR 50s-60s films you’d probably be surprised to see men randomly kissing each other in the lips because, for example, they are happy… And also holding hands and dancing with each other if there’s no female partners is considered normal still. BUT still I was surprised by the fact that in the USSR book, male character Guy calls the novel’s also male protagonist Max “beloved” multiple times, and it literally says that “Max made him fell in love with him”. Of course, it could be intentionally romantic, as Strugatsky brothers were very progressive and critical about USSR, but the fact that censors said zero things about this very open tenderness between two male characters, in my opinion, says a lot. That at least it wasn’t seen as gay, and even if it WAS written as gay, which is obviously a huge possibility, this amount of love between two males was seen as normal or at least idealistic.
Watching Star Trek I realized that Kirk and Spock’s relationship do remind me of Max and Guy from this obscure Soviet book. If we go away from the romantic interpretation of the relationship, we can’t ignore that
1) Spock and Kirk’s relationship is often the focus of the show and a primal focus of the Star Trek films
2) Spock and Kirk are canonically soulmates and in The Search for Spock it is told literally multiple times.
Spock’s popularity as the character also proves his relatability to the audience, regardless of their gender and identity.
Roddenberry himself said the following of Kirk and Spock relationship:
“I definitely designed it as a love relationship. And I hope that for men…who have been afraid of such relationships…that they (Spock and Kirk) would encourage them to be able to feel love and affection, true affection…love, friendship and deep respect”.
You can also read this exact quote on Wikipedia. Star Trek is a highly idealistic show, as it portrays the perfect society, and in that society it is completely normal for men being emotional, open, and being open about their affection to each other.
But what does it all have to do with Spock and my friend’s experience?
I’ve concluded, that Vulcan society aligns with what society typically expects from men, or what many men feel it expects. In the beging of the show Spock experiences shame for the fact that he feels friendship for Kirk. Spock grew up in the society where emotions are seen as weak, despite the fact that Vulcans do feel emotions. A lot of emotions.
But the fact is, Spock is a VERY emotional and emphatic individual. He is half human, so he’s an outsider in his society. He cries mostly in the show, and actually he is very tactile with his friends despite that Vulcans like to keep their personal space.
Kirk, on the contrary, while being an officer, for whom it’s important to be collected and calm, and the situation often forces him and the whole crew actually to not let their emotions take control (otherwise they’d be screwed up) is pretty open about his tender side. With him Spock learns to accept himself. And he only becomes the closest to being happy, when he fully accepts his emotional side. Kirk is a pretty happy person although he has been through a lot, because he’s not ashamed of being a romantic, idealist and the person who can say to you quite easily “you make me believe in miracles”.
So, you can interpret Vulcan as a reflection of gender stereotypes that are imposed upon men, and the whole message of Spock finding the balance, is that to be happy is allowing yourself, as the man, to let those standards go. That being open about your emotions and tender side is noble, heroic, and masculine.
This interpretation is quite possible, as science fiction is created to analyze society and human flaws by allegories and hyperbole.
We, as society, still need to learn and we need to have such examples of healthy masculinity as Kirk, Spock, Bones (also Doctor of Doctor Who, Frodo, Sam, Aragorn from LOTR) and such characters’ popularity proves, that many men do experience the pressure, and do want to be open, they like it, it is healthy, and it’s their ideal. And Prisoners of Power I mentioned earlier is a very popular book in the USSR and in post-USSR as well, and is considered a science fiction classic.
It doesn’t matter if you read those relationships as homoerotic or not. The intention is, no matter what kind of relationship it is, it is healthy, manly and great.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
#star trek#star trek tos#st tos#james t kirk#mccoy#spock#jim kirk#spirk#tos spock#star trek spock#tos spirk#mister spock#s'chn t'gai spock#mr spock#the search for spock#Star Trek analysis#in this essay i will#mini essay#character analysis#I love analyzing shows#gender ideology#gender stereotypes#gender expression#expectations#thanks for coming to my ted talk#lotr
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the beginner's drama challenge by @cosmoosims
*base game only*
Eight generations, each with their own unique storylines and drama-filled tasks to complete! I started making this sometime last year when I had less packs and mods than I do now (I literally only have 4 packs lmao) and I wanted something base-game friendly that also forced me to play emotionally different than I do now.
This is a base game challenge but feel free to use any and all mods/packs/etc to make it your own!
Feel free to play along with me, and post your own images using the tag #bdc :)
GOOGLE DOC
for the goals of each gen, click the google doc above!
Gen One: Evil Mastermind
Backstory Who says all villains are heartless? Despite aspiring to be the greatest criminal the world has ever seen, this Sim can’t help but want to begin a long, fulfilling generation. Being a criminal isn’t the wealthiest career but this Sim vows to give their children everything they want! Now, if only they could keep their evilness in check…
Gen Two: Adrenaline Junkie
Backstory Living with a criminal has turned this Sim into an adrenaline junkie! They crave adventure and anything that will get their heart racing. What better than to become a Secret Agent and work for S.I.M? As well as getting high on life, this Sim loves to make others laugh. Unfortunately, sometimes their jokes can be a little on the mean side, which doesn’t earn them many friends…
Gen Three: Homemade Hermit
Backstory This Sim's parent was always on the go-go-go and now all they want to do is settle down for a quiet life with only their paintings for company. Unfortunately, sometimes their independent nature gets the best of them, causing a rift in both family and friendships alike. Because of this, this sim is seldom happy tied to anyone, and often pushes others away. The only person they want to be with is a ghost they haven’t seen since their childhood…
Gen Four: Villainous Valentine
Backstory After living a sheltered life, this sim just wants to live a little! If that means breaking hearts left and right, then so what? Growing up alone has numbed them to human emotions, including their own. Oh, well! At least they have money to console them, and an increasing pile of bodies…
Gen Five: From the Ground Up
Backstory All this sim wants to do is rise to the top as an Athlete and destroy their competition. After running away from home as a teen, they're more motivated than ever to become the greatest. But their carelessness gets the best of them and soon they end up with too many kids and barely enough money to feed them! Guess it's time to pack up their dreams and crawl back home to a parent they hate…
Gen Six: Style Influencer
Backstory This sim’s parent did the best they could, but growing up with so many siblings really grated them the wrong way. There was no attention left for them! Now they’ve moved out and found their true passion in creating and crafting outfits, but that little spark of jealousy has never left them. Dating taken sims has its ups and downs, but one thing’s for sure; at least this sim is taking attention away from another!
Gen Seven: Ground Control to Major
Backstory This sim’s parent always had their head firmly planted in the ground, but they can’t help that theirs is somewhere up amongst the stars. Everything seems to be going well down on Earth, especially when they marry and have kids with the love of their life, but what could be going on up there on Sixam? What lies in the great expanse of space? This sim has to find out, even at the cost of their family…
Gen Eight: That’s 50’s Show
Backstory Having an absentee sim as a parent has messed this sim up in a big way, but they’re determined to work through it. Sure, a white-picket fence and kids running around the house is a dream for them, but it’s a lot harder to stay committed than it looks. Feeling trapped, this sim can’t help but reach out to someone that isn’t tied to as many responsibilities as their partner is…
#ts4#the sims#the sims 4#ts4 challenge#ts4 legacy#ts4 gameplay#ts4 legacy challenge#ts4 base game#sims 4#legacy challenge#ts4 challenges#hope you guys like it!!!#bdc
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the house/cuddy relationship is also so interesting because a big part of the essence of 'doom' that the writers give their relationship is also based in direct comparison to the not-doomed-ness of house/wilson. there are so many moments where it feels to me that the writers are grabbing me by the shoulders, shaking me and going 'look!!! look at them and compare them look at how different these two dynamics are'.
one of the most obvious examples of this is in 7x09 when house is trying to get out of hanging out with wilson and going to cuddy's birthday dinner at the same time. cuddy outright asks 'you have to choose one of us,' and house replies 'i choose wilson'. apart from making me giggle, these lines also serve the very obvious purpose of not just being about where house would prefer to spend a thursday evening. it's quite blatant foreshadowing about the fact that, at the end of everything, house always prefers to choose wilson and is more capable of being there for him than he is for anyone else, including romantic partners and especially including cuddy.
the next big example of this that struck me is in 7x15 when cuddy is in surgery. this is an almost word-for-word recreation of the scenario in 6x10 where wilson went into surgery. they both want house to be there, and house struggles to show up both times. we even get this wonderful visual parallel between the two, which is something i've noticed has been talked about a little by other people on here, and so is definitely something I imagine the writers thought about too. with 6x10:
and 7x15:
the key difference between these two situations is house being sober in one, and on drugs in the other. house can be there for wilson and emotionally support him while also being sober, but he cannot do the same for cuddy. this comparison i think is such a clear communication that not only is house's relationship with wilson easier for house to maintain than his relationship with cuddy, but that it is also better for him mentally. with wilson, there isn't an anxiety that he isn't good enough for him the way there is with cuddy, and this just fundamentally fosters a better environment for him as an addict.
this says a lot about house/wilson, but it also says a lot about house's approach to romance versus friendship in general. he places so much more importance on the emotional challenges of a romantic relationship than he does platonic. he spends the whole episode of 7x15 practically agonising over wether cuddy will be ok or not, whereas he spends most of 6x10 telling wilson he's an idiot. he seems to doom himself in romantic relationships by creating so much of his own anxiety: he worries about getting it right, being the man cuddy needs him to be, doing what a good partner should, and it causes him to be unable to actually perform any of these actions without the crutch of being high. this in turn underminines the genuineness of any attempt to be better that he makes in cuddy's eyes. i don't think any of the emotional demands cuddy makes of house are unreasonable at all, but because house is such an emotionally stunted and volatile person he can't approach the very normal expectations of a romantic relationship in any sort of healthy way. the only relationships he can maintain are unconventional ones that don't have these expectations, like his friendship with wilson.
the next example, and the one that is most likely a little bit of a reach, is also in 7x15, specifically in the few dream sequences cuddy has that feature wilson. in the first, she imagines house and wilson as rachel's adoptive fathers (which i've already written a little bit about here if you're interested). then she has another dream set in a black-and-white 50s sitcom where she is the breadwinner, house is the housewife, and wilson is the mailman/milkman (not completely sure which of these he is, but he's definitely one of them). in both of these situations, wilson is the proverbial 'other woman': he takes the place of house's domestic partner in one of the dreams, and in the other he's the mailman/milkman to house's housewife, which traditionally in media is a comedic character pairing that involves the housewife cheating on her working husband with the mailman/milkman. i doubt this symbolism is really that intentional, and i don't think that it's meant to imply any sort of genuine romantic coding between house and wilson, it's probably just a couple of early 2000s gay jokes. but if you critically look at these instances, you can begin to extrapolate a sense that in house's romantic relationships, wilson is always hovering in the background. wilson is always the proverbial 'other woman', someone who's relationship with house is just as important and very likely also easier to maintain for house, just as the inverse is true for wilson as established by testimony from his ex-wife bonnie. i mainly think this inclusion of wilson in these dreams and the deliberate role he plays just serves to remind the viewer that while house and cuddy's relationship is rocky and uncertain, house and wilson's is pretty much constant and inevitable.
the last comment i have on this is about the scene in 7x23 where house crashes his car into cuddy's home. i think you can pretty easily compare wilson and cuddy situationally in this scene: house is putting cuddy in immense danger (though not actually intending on hurting her), whereas in comparison he yells at wilson to get out of the car before he does it. to me, there's an obvious difference there - a deliberate effort to endanger a person vs a deliberate effort to remove a person from danger. and in both instances, house is intentionally causing the danger. it very strikingly reminded me of the scene in 3x07 where house tells wilson to get out of their hotel room before he does something that could incriminate wilson. he specifically tells wilson 'maybe i don't wanna push this til it breaks' in regard to their friendship. house is very cognizant of not pushing wilson away completey, not squandering their relationship once and for all with his dangerous behaviour. but with cuddy, he gets to a point where he actively burns the bridge. the difference to me is sad and clear: house is willing and able to maintain his relationship with wilson. he is not willing and able to maintain his relationship with cuddy. and by comparing the two, each dynamic becomes clearer.
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Reminiscence
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Still Drunken on the memories of the summer of 2023.I watched the movie almost 50 times till now but truly fatigue didn't grip me. The theatre experience was outstanding. I went there with very little expectation, of course a sequel rarely matches it's predecessor.The intro of ATSV made me think that it was not the case of waste of money or time . I got what I wished for since the trailer release.Terrific voice acting done by Shameik Moore , Hailee Steinfeld, Oscar Issac, Issa Rae, Daniel kaluuya, Karan Soni and others.
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Peter B Parker and Miles carried the first movie with their most relatable energy.In second movie it was good to see Peter as a happy dad. Still he needed to be more cautious while handling Mayday amidst the multiverse madness even though she had spider powers .
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Miles transformation was absolutely stunning one. He had grown, became emotionally intelligent yet he was not a pro. Still working for upgrading himself and continued learning. And we all had agreed that he always listened to his heart.
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And coming to Gwen she was definitely "not okay" in ATSV ,especially not in a great position to handle her feelings. She doubted whether she had any importance or simply her existence was fragile.While Miles was always there to praise her innocence,wisdom,grace,skills and her self esteem.
I already had a notion of how their friendship was going to evolve into a much more beautiful bonding they could crave for. And yes Sony finally did it ,which was doomed for years. Congratulations to Hailee Steinfeld for brilliantly portraying Gwen Stacy and winning the Astra Awards and other accolades for her role.
Their interactions in ITSV had always a flirty tone in it which was subtly noticeable until Miles comeback in final battle. At that time there was a sudden realisation that the moments Gwen had longed for specially sharing with Miles, was going to end soon as the portal for her travelling back home had finally opened.
I was hoping to get atleast the full convo of the bus ride that had been pending since ITSV and how they managed to get the selfie. Well BTSV must provide that to us. Their moments together need to cherished everytime.
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Hobie and Pavitr's friendship had been an exception. They were always jolly and supportive .
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Expecting more screentime for all the members of the band in next movie. We all missed them a lot.
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And this trio would be having a long talk before reconciliation. They would need to fix and thereby heal each other from the wounds suffered due to the betrayal.
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Miguel had a hard time after loss of his daughter.His established theories could not be entirely wrong but his ideologies regarding cannon events should be studied and explained with more precision. He had been unaware of the actual policies of multiversal working. Cause he only depended on what "the model says- Lyla".Hoping the writers would be able to properly add the details and justify the incidents in BTSV along with the reason why Gwen glitched so less than other spideys in ITSV.
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The creation of a joke villain,who being later considered as a multiversal threat,Spot's arc was indeed incredibly done by the writers. Eagerly looking forward as to how Spot can manipulate space and time and find the answers about his holes.
On other hand Miles 42- He gave a feeling of hardened, unshakeablly confident but sad at same time. Kind of aggressively caring person.
Lastly the music played a crucial role in uplifting the cinematic experience. Uniquely blending with all the characters. The ost and music tracks had been top notch, where "The falling apart " and "calling" became my favourite.A big thanks to Daniel Pemberton and Metro Boomin for making this a masterpiece.
This movie had no business going that hard.And I knew this obsession would have no end. 🥺
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-extracurious
#Being angry cause the movie was so good.#across the spiderverse#spiderman#miles morales#gwiles#into the spider verse#ghostflower#gwen stacy#spiderman atsv#spiderman art#spot#peter b parker#atsv miguel#miles 42#gwen x miles#memorable and inspiring character in spiderverse#atsv hobie#atsv pavitr
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Having trouble finding some films to watch, especially now that it's pride month?
Well have no fear, because I have some that is recommended, whether queer or queer-coded, these are movies you should watch.
Despite being forgotten or criticize being "woke", Strange World is a underrated gem that join the list of underrated and forgotten disney films such Lightyear, Treasure Planet and Atlantis.
It has an gay main character and a diverse cast including an 3-legged dog. Inspired by classic sci-fi adventure film in the 50's and 60's, Strange World is fun adventure film about an generation of a family dealing with their own faults, also opening a door of possibilities with it's lore.
Freaky is a fun twist on the classic "Freaky Friday" trope, telling the story of a teenager who swap bodies with a serial killer, thanks to a mystical artifact.
Co-written and directed by the guy who also made Happy Death Day, Freaky delivers some gore-filled kills and feel good laughs while offering some parts of queer identity along with a gay character who proud of who he is.
The Fear Street trilogy itself not only joined the list of amazing horror films in 2021 but also an spot of queer horror.
It follows an romance of two lesbian teens in the 90's not only dealing with homophobia but also a ancient connected curse of the town of Shadyside.
Chalked with nostalgia of classic horror films like Scream, Friday the 13th and The Crucible.
Fear Street wins fans over with it's violent kills, remarkable characters, talented performances, and great and relatable queer representation.
Jennifer's Body introduced an another horror icon and bisexuality.
Megan Fox plays Jennifer Check who was possessed by a demon and targets on guys after being sacrificed by an fame-hungry band.
Tho Jennifer is not a lesbian, but the films does show that she is interested in both boys and girls, claiming she goes both ways and has some interest in her friend Needy, even kissing her too.
The cult classic not only has an amazing bisexual icon but tackles heavy themes such as assault, exploitation and the female gaze.
Bottoms is a must watch masterpiece, chaotic, brutal and gut-bursting funny, the film follows two high school friends that made a fight club to just hook up with two popular cheerleaders.
With an ridiculously unhinged final act, meet cute romance, and jokes that have you laughing your butt off. This 2000's coded movie is a a treat to start off the month.
After rewatching it again, Arlo has queer heavy themes if you think about it. Looking back, one of the film's characters, has some queer-coded hints about him.
I'm not going to spoil on the titular character, I think you should watch the film in order to get what I'm saying.
Other than that the film has an amazing soundtrack and has colorful characters as well.
Luca definitely is a queer film without a doubt. Focusing on two young sea monsters, spending an unforgettable summer in the town of Portorosso on the Italian Riviera.
It's themes of self discovery, chosen families, homophobia and acceptance.
This emotionally sweet sea-filled tale is a instant classic with a pretty much Canon couple too.
Robot Dreams also has hints of queer companionship and also is a story of loneliness, the film's out now, you definitely think you should see it.
Based off the comic in 2007, Robot Dreams is set in the 80's of New York City.
A lonely dog assemble and befriends a robot in a dialogue-less journey of friendship, love and rusted parts.
There's no surprises are a lot of clear queer-tonic themes in the films, especially among the two main characters, Robot Dreams is a perfect way to spend your summer.
Last year, Nimona was not only one final goodbye from Blue sky studios but is a part of the best films of 2023.
No surprise that the creator of the graphic novel also did Netflix's She-ra, the film is heavy on not only disability but also gender identity and transphobia.
it's a film that everyone will enjoy, thanks to it's commentary and electrifying performances by the cast, combine with pretty metal animation, Nimona is the film you should definitely watch.
🏳️🌈Happy pride month, hope all of you have a great day, and let me know on what think of these films.🏳️🌈
#queer#lgbt pride#essay writing#jennifer's body#mi amigo robot#nimona movie#luca 2021#arlo the alligator boy#lucaberto#fear street#freaky 2020#strange world 2022#bottoms 2023#Ethazo#jennifer x needy#goldenheart#ballister x ambrosius#recommended watch#film recommendations#lgbtq#must watch#robot dreams#gay#lesbian
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would i be the asshole for contacting my ex to ask them if they could stop talking about me online to a community that knows who i am? (🥐)
tw: kinda emotionally abusive relationship
bg info
me (24f) and my ex (28) were in a three month relationship three years ago following a whole year of friendship. they were my first partner and i came out as a lesbian to everyone during our relationship. when we were together, they were 24 and i was 20. i was very emotionally dependent on them when i was 20 due to mental health issues and so were they which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship was as explosive as it was. i looked up to them, my whole emotional world revolved around them, and our friendship/relationship was the only thing i had in my life at the time. they constantly asked me "hey is it even ethical that im dating you, im 4 years older, you tell me please, oh i feel like such a bad person", yet, they still continued dating me every time they would ask.
our fights were horrible and truly explosive as they broke their stuff in front of me out of anger, threw things at me and insulted me as stupid, amongst many other things. our fights usually ensued because i would ask them for reassurance and they would start panicking and screaming at me to shut up. to be fair, i would cry every time i was asking for reassurance which probably made them feel scared about losing me, so i consider myself 50% at fault for everything that happened in our relationship, i shouldve been able to talk to them in a secure manner that wouldnt trigger their abandonment issues. our fights were quite jarring and made me walk out on them several times out of fear. yet i always came back and apologized and took the whole accountability, even though i dont consider myself the only one at fault. walking out several times during fights was probably one of the worst things i could have done but at the same time i was simply scared. even when i walked out after our last fight, they begged me to come back, which i did, i apologized under tears, and yet, told them that i cant promise them to stay no matter what.. and left.
we met through tumblr and were in a medium distance relationship. after our relationship, i went to a clinic and had to learn a lot about myself, what i experienced and what i want from life. im in a very happy and healthy place now and since the end of 2021 im with my current partner whom i want to be the love of my life and whom ive started to build a life with.
context
i have my ex blocked on all social media because they used to do hour long deep dives into my blog, even as of recently (i have statcounter installed for my safety bc im paranoid about them sending me anonymous asks). at first i also used to visit their blog after our break up but stopped doing so after moving on with my life. one year after breaking up i temporarily unblocked them and explicitly asked them not to look at my social media (or at least to do it in a way in which i dont notice aka asked them not to watch my instagram stories).
while i dont visit their blog/social media because i dont want to know whats going on in their life, tumblr mutuals frequently dm me stuff like "hey i think you should know that your ex posted about you/shit talks about something that you posted". i havent asked my mutuals to tell me whenever this happens but i imagine they do so because within the tumblr space we exist, everyone kind of knows everyone (so my ex doesnt have to mention my name for people to know who theyre talking about). sometimes mutuals send screenshots of the posts so that i dont have to visit my ex's blog. last ive heard my ex joked about throwing jewelry at me and posted extensively about a tattoo that i got. my ex's behavior makes me uncomfortable and feel just as helpless as i did back then.
why i might be the asshole
im scared that they might be venting because i was more at fault in the relationship than them and that i am unconsciously deflecting. however, i talked about every detail of the relationship and this fear extensively with my therapist, friends, and partner who are of the opinion that i was young, scared, and intertwined in a relationship that was incredibly toxic. im still unsure though because my emotions frequently triggered theirs.
why they might be the asshole
i asked them once to stop visiting my social media and i feel like venting about our relationship that broke off 3 years ago to a tumblr community of friends and acquaintances is kind of unfair. however, i might be the asshole and they might just need the space for venting. i could just ignore the vents and let them heal in their own way from what ensued.
WIBTA if i confronted them again and told them that i want them to stop talking about me online? or would i be a party pooper because every person needs a space for venting?
What are these acronyms?
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Gary 'Roach' Sanderson Sfw alphabet
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
He’s actually pretty affectionate. Any chance he has to hold your hand or kiss you, he takes it, including missions. He’s told you he takes just a little bit of time to love you because ‘I’ll never know when our time has come.’ He wants the last memory you have of him to be a loving one, and he wants his last to be spent thinking about his unending love for you.
And don’t think for a second that because he can’t talk he won't praise you. He leaves you notes or texts that tell you just how much he really loves you. He puts sticky notes on all the doors he knows you'll walk through. Every mirror, the fridge, your desk, computer monitor, windows, everywhere he knows you'll see them.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
You two got close to each other while on a long mission. It was hard not too, Saving each other's lives on the daily can really bring people together. You ate every meal together, watched out for each other, took your time to understand what he wanted to say. You were able to build trust in each other fairly quickly because of this. By the time the mission ended it felt like you two had known each other forever. You were able to slip into a routine with him fast, becoming the first and last person you spoke to every day. It wasn't long before Gary started to catch feelings for you.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He likes cuddling, He doesn’t love it but he likes how it easily communicates his love for you. It's simple, but when you're with a guy that can’t speak, every little thing he does is noticeable and a declaration of his affection. The reason he doesn't like it too much is that even though he is normally cool as a cucumber, he can get overwhelmed pretty fast. He tries to let you know it’s not your fault, but it's hard to communicate that when he's overwhelmed. So even though he loves giving you physical attention he might pull away from this kind.
Sleeping is the exception to this, He always cuddles you at night. When it comes to cuddling positions he loves to hold you and wrap his whole body around you.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Yes and No. He loves you, but he also loves his job. He loves the thrill and adventure and doesn’t want to give that up. He’ll buy you a house, he’ll live with you, but he will yearn for adventure. If at some point he’s on leave or simply allowed to go home he’ll take a break for like, a week. But after that he’s planning hikes, camping trips, rock climbing, stuff like that.
He's an okay cook, he's great on the grill though (His steaks are to die for).
He can clean, the military is really strict about cleanliness. If you need something cleaned up or otherwise taken care of, just point and he's on it.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
He breaks up with you face to face. He makes a list of the reasons why it wouldn't work. He makes it gentle and softly gives you the news. He feels bad about the break up and because he's awkward gives you a 50 dollar gift card to your favorite store or restaurant.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
He is willing to commit to you, but he will take his time to make sure you're the right one. He might be fast in a relationship but when it comes to marriage he takes his time.
When he’s sure he wants to marry you, he will plan everything out meticulously. He will secretly get your ring size, figure out what kind of ring you want, and what your dream proposal is. If you don't have a dream proposal he will combine his own dream and the things you like.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Gary’s soft with you. He opens up to you and lets you open up to him. He’ll use sign language or notes to tell you about his past and feelings. He tells you about what he wants to do with his life or what he wishes to do with you.
When it comes to physicality he's still soft with you. He loves to hold you and softly touch you. Gary loves to hold your hand and hug you from behind. It's the easiest way to communicate his love for you.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
He loves hugs but tries to make sure he touches you in appropriate times. It's hard to find the right times when you're fighting for your life all the time. When you get back to base or back to home, He's all over you. It's these times when he's okay with cuddling and prolonged touching.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
When teaching you to sign he left out how to sign ‘i love you’ because he didn’t want it to feel like he was forcing you to say it or that he was love bombing you. He was secretly signing ‘I love you’ but you didn’t have to know that. you aren't fluent in sign so it's not like you noticed.
He was being sent on a mission where he wouldn’t have any contact with you for several months. You two were outside while other soldiers entered the awaiting helicopters. He was in all his gear, mask up, and an ACR strapped on his back. After you had signed your goodbyes and he was at the entrance of the helicopter, He turned around and signed “I love you so much”. He didn’t expect anything to happen after as normally nothing did. Until you signed back ‘Love you more.’
In truth he hasn’t stopped thinking about that day.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
If put on a scale it would be 6/10. He's not insanely jealous, but he can't help the pit in his chest he feels when you're talking to another guy. He can play nice and not get deep into it, but as soon as the guy starts flirting, his nice act is out the window.
A fellow soldier decided to make a sudden and not at all anticipated comment on your ass…while Gary was in ear shot. It took Gary all of 3 seconds to send the guy flying and knock him on his ass. Gary was reprimanded as the soldier lost 4 of his teeth in that fight, Oh and the broken collarbone didn’t help either.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
This is the one part of the relationship (besides Marriage) that took the longest to happen. This is because it involved taking his mask off.
Once he was comfortable with you and the idea of seeing his face, he'd let the mask go and kiss you. It was actually the first thing he did when he took off his mask.
You two were in his room, sitting on his bed, you two had a long talk about his face and trust. After this Gary removed his mask and eye gear and held your hand. He took a breath then kissed you softly and passionately. It was a Huge milestone in your relationship.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Gary is okay around kids, He can handle them for bits at a time, but kids don't seem to like him that much. Kids don’t like the silence, it unnerves the little ones. But he's kind and careful and has told you that if you want kids he'll do better with them.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
He just wants to hold you a little longer, To spend these gentle moments with you for as long as he can. He's the one telling you to come back to bed, pulling you back into bed and into his arms. He makes grumbles and noises of pleasure when you slither back into his arms. He may not be able to Tell you he loves you, but the kisses, noises, and cuddles speak for themselves.
Once he's out of bed and stepping into the day, He’ll get into his chores and start cleaning up from the night before and help you in your morning routine. Once he's done cleaning up and you're cooking breakfast you better believe he's hugging you from behind.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Gary has a tough time going to bed. You have to convince him to come to bed and get some sleep. You can get him to bed by reminding him of the warm mornings or promises of intimacy.
He will slowly do his nightly routine to prolong the inevitable. He'll take his time cleaning up, showering, brushing his teeth, a little bit of skin care, then begrudgingly climbing in bed. His apprehension is swiftly thrown out the window once he is in your arms and in a warm bed.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
It depends on what he's opening up about. Because He primarily uses sign language and writing to talk to you he can easily edit but for the most part he's pretty open with you. However there are something he would never tell you, no matter how close you guys are.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
He is even tempered most of the time, He rarely gets angry outside of the battlefield. When he does get angry it's not at you and is never taken out on you.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Gary remembers the little things, he’s hooked on every word you say. He writes what he thinks is important down. If you like to talk, well great, he likes to listen.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
You had found a box of kittens while on a mission. You had taken and hidden them from your teammates and captain. Gary found out about this when one night he caught back at base cooing of a blanket that meowed back.
You had explained yourself and told him you just wanted them to be safe and you were trying to find them a home. He kept the secret and helped you care for the kittens. You made the kitten get a good home and occasionally get updates about them. He loved seeing you in a Domestic light and liked feeling like a parent even if it was only for a few days.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He's on guard all the time, He is a war criminal. He can be a silly little guy then into a serious scary soldier.
Physically: He will defend you till his last breath. He will do everything he can to make sure you're safe.
Emotionally/Mentally: He will make sure he's always there for you to lean on. His soft, loving personality gets even more soft and loving. He makes sure to free up time just to check on you and hold you.
When it comes to his safety, just knowing you care is enough for him to feel better.
Physically: He would rather die than have you put yourself in danger to save him. But if you do, he will enterally appreciate you and your love for him.
Emotionally/Mentally: He doesn’t like asking for help but when he does, it should be taken very seriously. Sometimes he just needs someone that nods while he signs away at what's troubling him. Other times he just needs to have someone to hold onto.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Depends on why you're having a date night. Obviously he’s not going to pull out all the stops for a casual date night but he's not doing the bare minimum either.
He puts in the appropriate amount of effect for your dates and makes sure it's something you'll enjoy.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
He has a habit of sneaking food. The military trains soldiers to simply inhale the small portion of food given to them. Even though there is extra food he waits until he thinks no one is looking to ‘steal’ another piece. Everyone knows, no one says a word.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
The mask is really just to keep his identity safe. Even though it takes him a while to take it off, that's mostly to make sure he can really trust you. He is not too concerned with his looks but that doesn’t mean he has no concern about his looks.
Gary never really thought to care about anyone's opinion, but that changed fast when he developed feelings for you. He can and will clean up if you ask him to.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
It's a slow burn when it comes to this deep level of attachment. At first you were just this really cool friend, then best friends, then partners. You fell deeper and deeper into his heart before you became the center of it.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
He communicates mostly through sign language, which he made sure to teach you. He took you step by step, getting you to understand how the language is ACTUALLY structured. He loved watching you try and figure out what he said and how to respond.
Outside of work, Roach has a couple deaf friends that he take on hikes and fishing trips.
If you ever get married, Ghost is his best man.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Someone unwilling to learn sign. Its his main way of communicating and its frustrating to write down everything he wants to say all the time.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
He has to be practically dragged to bed if you want him to sleep.
The best way to get him to bed is too softly play his favorite music, lay down, and give him puppy dog eyes.
What is he going to do? Say no to you and that pretty look on your face? Absolutely not, he's flying into that bed.
Thanks for reading <3
#gary roach sanderson#Gary roach sanderson x Reader#reader#cod mw2#cod#mw2#roach cod#sfw#sfw alphabet#fluff
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my reasons behind my beliefs in this post
I think Mrs Snow was groomed by Crassus to some degree and was young when she gave birth to Coriolanus. (I will be speaking about grooming and abuse in this piece. nothing intense or really triggering but still, proceed knowing this will be surface level discussed, mentioned, and alluded to. I am also really sorry this is laid out weird, it's a lot to organise and lay out concisely)
I've always had the thought of Mrs Snow being young when she gave birth in my mind but it wasn't until last night when I was flipping through the ballad of songbirds and snakes to find page 328 for my last night's rant and read the end of page 324 that it really cemented in my mind.
First, let's understand grooming on a base level.
According to https://www.childsafe.gov.au, "The term ‘grooming' refers to intentional behaviours that manipulate and control a child, as well as their family, kin and carers, other support networks, or organisations in order to perpetrate child sexual abuse."
(this is a lot I'm sorry i just want to make sure I'm including everything) According to https://www.anncrafttrust.org, "Grooming is a form of abuse that involves manipulating someone until they’re isolated, dependent, and more vulnerable to exploitation." and "It’s a gradual process. The abuser picks their target, build up trust, and the actual abuse, which is usually sexual or financial, doesn’t come until much later. It often starts with friendship. The groomer will look for ways to gain their target’s trust, often with gifts or promises. Eventually they’ll start to ask for something in return, and this eventually leads to abuse. Because groomers work to befriend their victims, some organisations refer to it as “mate crime”. Grooming can happen in person, or it can happen online. Online grooming might be referred to as “catfishing”, where the groomer pretends to be someone they’re not in order to gain trust. Grooming can also take the form of predatory marriage. This is where someone exploits an adult, often with dementia. They isolate them from their family and coerce them into marriage."
(things I think should be of important note in your mind as we dissect this reference to Mrs Snow)
As stated, groomers often lure their victims with empty promises, like the promise of freedom and love. And while anyone outside of the manipulation may one, not see/hear them, or two, know they are nothing to hold your breath for, the victim does. If they have been 'successfully' manipulated to the groomers will, they'll believe these promises and hold onto them tight, even if a part of them knows they won't come true. It gives them hope. But to anyone not in on this twisted web of lies and false hope, it may look like the victim has gone mad convincing themselves of all these things.
It's also important to remember that Crassus Snow was a highly respected army general. He definitely was there for public appearances on rememberance days and at work events, rubbing elbows and gaining people's favour. The Snows were also rich. With all of this, it'd be wild to think Mrs Snow's family didn't know about him and or have some trust in the man for protecting and defending Panem.
Victims are very often in vulnerable positions such as poverty or abusive home, just emotionally disconnected homes. Any weak point a groomer can find, they will poke and pull and play on till they can use it to get their way. For example, let's say a girl is very poor. A groomer will see that and promise her life with luxury. Another example, let's say a girl has no secure future. A groomer will take that as something to promise her. A stable back up for her wobbly wings. Like, I dont know, sufficient funds for a performing artist like a singer to go off and live their dream but not have to check the street for money.
The main issue a lot of people have with legal but not moral relationship age gaps is not so much the gap, but the ages. 50 and 60? completely fine. but 18 and 28? 19 and 29? you are nowhere near the same stage in life. At 18-19, you're freshly an adult, you're figuring taxes and probably just asking your mum or dad to do them for you, you're probably drinking and partying, living a more reckless life than a 29 year old who is nearly 30, wants to settle down soon, hopefully has a stable job and income, mature.
Now, let's dissect this
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"Now, this compact. How many times did I see your mother pull it from her handbag to check her face? Your pretty, vapid mother, who'd somehow convinced herself that your father would give her freedom and love. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, as they say."
"Only her youth excused her, and, really, she seemed fated to be a child forever."
"youth" "child" "young" are words consistently used in connotation with Mrs Snow. Never Crassus.
"who'd somehow convinced herself that your father would give her freedom and love"
she's called vapid and that her youth is the only thing that excused her. Why? because if your sole job is to be his wife, and you're with all these people who are older than you who you have nothing in common with, you don't understand what they're talking about or anything of that nature, what else is there for you to do? sit around and comb out your curls? powder your face? fix up your dress? your purpose at that point is to sit there, look pretty as his wife and give him children.
(I will probably more clearly explain this one day but for right now, just to lay it out)
I think a 29-30 year old Crassus Snow used his position and money to trick Mrs Snow's family and a 18-19 year old Mrs Snow into thinking he'd give her a stable but free life, covered in love and money where she wouldn't have to worry about a thing and her family willingly let her go because she had no 'real life goals' ahead of her in their opinion. I think she wanted to become a singer but as Crassus sunk his teeth into her, she lost that dream and got married to Crassus, falling pregnant soon after and having Coriolanus at 19-20 years old.
(sorry this is kind of a mess, it's a lot, if something is not clear enough, please ask about it!! I have this all laid out in my head so if you'd want a timeline or something clearer to explain how I think their relationship came to be and was, let me know!!)
shout out to @mr-nauseam who shares the same thoughts and @lavenderbehindherear who wanted to hear my reasons (sorry this explanation is late)
#crassus snow#mrs snow#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the snows#the snow family#coriolanus snow#coriolanus' parents
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Are You Experienced? | Mature | 26K
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Author: @madaboutmunson Artist: @danadaria Beta: @house-of-chant Cheerleader: @atmilliways
Everyone knows Steve Harrington, a local rich kid jock, the previous king of Hawkins High School. He’s got it all, money, a respectable family, and chicks love him. He’s even spending the summer learning what it’s like to be a real working man before taking on a role in his Dad’s firm because its builds character and empathy. Or is he something else entirely?
Is Steve a down-on-his-luck guy, stuck in a job he dislikes because his dad is teaching him a lesson, repeatedly striking out with the ladies, that his co-worker is fond of reminding him about?
Under all the many layers and masks, he uses to survive the day-to-day, Steve has secrets. The main one is how passionately he loves music. How it moves him in ways nothing else does, and he’s sure no one else could possibly feel the same, until his Mom gives him $50 to spend at the new record store.
Fic Ao3 Link / Fic Tumblr Link | Promo Art Link | Final Art Link
Pairings: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley, Steve Harrington’s Mother, Original Characters Tags: Romance, Fluff, Music, POV Steve Harrington, Pre-Season/Series 04, Scoops Ahoy (Stranger Things), Steve Harrington Works at Scoops Ahoy, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Record Store Employee Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley Works at Scoops Ahoy, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Friendship, Pre-Relationship, Steve Harrington has a nice Mom, Steve Harrington has a Bad Dad, Music as a love language, Escapism through music, Closeted Steve Harrington, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington has secrets, Steve Harrington Has a Crush on Eddie Munson, Kissing, Touching, Grinding, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Flirting, Steve Harrington is down on his luck, Steve Harrington Is A Gentleman, Emotionally Hurt Steve Harrington
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Halfway through Lightlark, here's what we got so far
The Centennial is a serious deadly game. in which no one playing has been killed in 500 years and you don't even start killing anyone until 50 days into the game.
The Uniquely Wicked Curses on each territory range from "can't go outside at a certain time/place" to "everyone dies at 25." No it is never examined in depth how any of this, even the shallow curses, actually effect the kingdoms afflicted by them.
Isla has been trained as a perfect warrior and ruler since she was a child but she kinda sucks at everything she's put through. Examples include: her plan is to lay low and make the others underestimate her but she fights against Grim with full power and blows her cover. She doesn't have any plans for covering the fact that she doesn't have any powers. She did not know another ruler turned his kingdom into a democracy during his reign despite said ruler being 500 ruling for 500 years.
Speaking of her training, it's not even training it's just straight up abuse. Every time Isla has to do something new and challenging we're treated to some character backstory of her guardians putting her through absolutely horrific or mentally/emotionally damaging situations. It's unclear if she realizes how horrible this is or if she views it as tough but necessary, or if the story itself acknowledges how abusive this behaviour was.
I've said this already but EVERYTHING runs on Aesthetic/Vibes and what SOUNDS cool rather than what would actually be practical or make any sense whatsoever. See: my previous post about the golden sword, the gem encrusted sword, and the "thicker than her thigh" sword.
This is one book that would benefit from a world map because I don't know how I'm supposed to be picturing how this setting looks like.
The edgy night-themed bad boy Walmart Rhysand love interest is named Grimshaw, nicknamed Grim. Not even an attempt at a kinda sexy name. If he's the winner of the love triangle I'm expecting to happen I refuse it on the basis of his name alone.
There is not a single character I'm convinced does anything when they're not around Isla. It's rarely if ever even mentioned what anyone is doing when they're not physically present in the story. Not even Celeste, the best friend character who is Isla's ally and supposed to be just as active in the search for the Bondbreaker that's gonna break their curses.
(Celeste literally goes and finds a pair of magical gloves that are made of human skin and not only are we not involved in this search at all, Isla never asks if Celeste found the gloves or skinned a person to get them. She doesn't want to know but I sure do. We're supposed to care about her and their friendship. Give me something about her to care about.)
Speaking of which... this book's plot is basically a long list of tasks for Isla to accomplish. Either she's doing a Demonstration for the game or she's hunting for the MacGuffins.
The Demonstrations are set up by each ruler to show off their powers/skills/etc and be a basis for how each ruler will pair off for the rest of the game. Super important stuff. Each one takes up about one chapter and the demonstration itself maybe 2-3 pages.
The MacGuffin hunt is basically Isla going "this cursebreaker thing might be in this place. I'll check there." It's not there. She moves onto the next place 2 chapters later. And later on just going on forest expeditions with the second male love interest.
Even beyond all the story stuff, the writing itself... it tries very hard to be poetic and meaningful but it comes off as either cringy or unclear what the author is even trying to say.
The way sentences and paragraphs are formatted and broken up... i love a good fragmented sentence, of course I do, but even I know there are WAY too many of them. There are too many single sentence paragraphs, one after the other. It's trying to build anticipation and suspense but. It's not working.
As a bonus, I specifically wanted a book that was dumb and bad and wouldn't make me overthink it. I'm definitely not doing that with this one!! There's nothing of substance to overthink!
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