#thats not on the list yet but you know about it so here it goes! XD
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well of course I'm obsessed with your tensura ships so those ;) but also really adore your poly with Cyno and Tighnari!!!
!! Awee thank you!! 💙💙 Yes I'm not surprised about the Tensura ships :P
But I'm glad you like Shiko and her boys!! I absolutely love their dynamic and immediate found family, they're so sweet ;-;
#text post#thanks for the ask!#crystallinevoidlight#otp: deer to me#otp: strings of fate#otp: from land to sky#otp: set my soul alight#thats not on the list yet but you know about it so here it goes! XD
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Another day, another shitshow, another fuck
Summary - post Monza angst and smut. FUCK YOU MCLAREN.
Warnings - filthy smut, fingering, oral, m and f receiving, blowjob, p in v sex, over stimulation, anal, squirting, swearing.
3.6K+
Should you be surprised that it was another shit race for Lando? Where his team, and teammate fucked him over again? No.
Did it hurt? Yes.
It hurt like hell to see Lando put in that position again. Were Mclaren so fucking blind that they couldn't see it was ONLY Lando who was in contention for the driver's championship?
Yes, the team need each other. Every single person is a valuable part to winning the Constructors Championship, but to see the way they were literally shoving Lando and his chances of the dc to the side - you were no okay with.
Before the summer break, Hungary was a shitshow. His team manipulated Lando and guilt-tripped him to give up the win. Saying ''the way to win a championship is not alone'' He literally gifted his teammate a win, and had to take the brunt of it, losing out every precious point more he would have scored to close the gap to Max.
Now today, all Lando spoke about was getting a 1-2 for the team, yet his teammate only talked about winning. Where were the team orders today? Where did the words from Hungary disappear to?
All you know is that Lando deserved better, instead of getting fucked time and time again when he is driving at his best and doing everything he can to be the team player and fight for his own title which he's dreamed about every sine he was a little boy.
You couldn't attend Monza as you'd just flown back to Monaco from a modeling job in Brazil. You'd landed just in time to watch the race, screaming at the tv and heart aching for what Lando had to go through because of his ''team''
When the race ended and you saw how defeated Lando looked, you'd sent him a message saying you were home and that you loved him, knowing a simple message like that would calm him down and tell him you're there for him.
A few hours later, as you were just chilling in the living room watching some tv, you heard the front door open. You shot up and winced when you saw Lando walk through the door, your heart clenching at the sight of him.
He looked tired, frustrated, angry, sad, helpless. The list goes on. He had a pair of joggers with an oversized quadrant hoodie on, cap hiding his precious curls as his eyes were red and swollen, face drained of his usual brightness.
''Lan, baby'' you whispered as you walked up to him, watched him drop his bags and take his cap off.
He looked at you, his face softening when he saw you, as you enveloped him in a tight hug, trying to pour all of your love for him into it.
You soothed his back and played with the hair at the back of his neck and Lando buried his head in the crook of your neck, breathing deep and staggered.
''I'm here, just breathe. Gonna all be okay Lan'' you said, trying to find the words to calm him down though it would take some time.
''I know, thank you'' he whispered, pulling back and kissing you gently as he cupped your face.
''Missed you'' he said, hugging you again.
''Missed you too my love. Wanna go shower and have something to eat? Just cuddle after?'' you asked, knowing thats' what he always wanted after a bad race.
''Yeah'' he said quietly before retreating to the bedroom while you ordered some food for the both of you.
You didn't press him at first, to start talking about today, or anything at all. He'd asked how your week was and that was it. Comfortable silence through dinner. Once you'd both eaten as much pizza as you could, you watched some more tv in silence, until your nerves gave up and you had to say something.
You pulled back from where you were cuddling Lando at his side and gently looked at him, hoping your eyes would tell him to please open up to you.
''Talk to me Lan'' you said.
He licked his lips. ''Not much to say really. Just fuck up after fuck up''
You sighed. You didn't want to show him pity, because that was the last thing he needed. But you told him how ''he needed to stop blaming himself and see that it was his team and teammate, as usual,'' and that ''you knew he did everything he could to give it his all, how he is driving at his best and it will all pay off soon, he just needs to give it time''
''Thank you baby, really, i don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much'' he said once you'd finished talking about the shitshow.
You leaned forward, pecking his nose. ''I love you too Lan, always''
You cuddled up again and watched something random again, just content to be with each other.
Lando had his arms wrapped around you, drawing lazy circles on your legs until his hands kept itching closer and closer to your core which was getting wetter and wetter with each movement. You didn't move or say anything though. You wanted him to carry on as he pleased, and use you as a distraction from everything.
He could probably feel your breathing increase though, and finally a few minutes later he let his hand slip into your sleep shorts, pushing your panties to the side and letting his fingers run through your folds.
Your breath hitched when he did that, and you opened your legs wider to give him better access, the both of you still not saying anything but letting your actions speak for themselves.
Your back was to Lando's chest, so he rested his chin on your shoulder as his fingers found your clit and started rubbing rough circles on it, pinching it now and then.
You closed your eyes, suppressing your moans, which Lando quickly told you not to hold in. ''Let them out baby, let me hear you'' he whispered din your ear.
So you did. When you felt his calloused index finger slide through your hole you let out a guttural moan, grinding yourself down on him as he added a second finger, thrusting them in and out hard and fast.
''Oh Lan, yes'' you whispered between breaths as he started nibbling on your sweet spot on your neck.
You were close, your body tensing at the feeling of a warmth starting to build up in your tummy and you realized you needed something to hold onto, so naturally, your hand found Lando's bulge, which by now had grown hard. You palmed him through his shorts, feeling his body jolt up with the contact.
''Fuck, y/n'' he said through gritted teeth.
''Lan I'm close, please'' you begged.
So he sped up his movements, fucking his fingers into you and curling them at just right time, sending you into an orgasmic bliss as your cum gushed all over Lando's fingers, messing your panties and shorts in the process.
''Fuck, god, Lando'' you breathed out, trying to steady it as much as you could to catch your breath again. You let your body fall back onto Lando's, only realizing now just how tense you'd gotten with his actions.
He slid his fingers out, bringing them up to his lips and licking them clean. ''My favorite'' he whispered.
Your cunt was still desperate for more, achingly clenching around nothing, and at the same time you could feel Lando's dick twitching him his shorts, also begging for attention.
Just as you were about to sink down onto your knees as give him some relief, Lando's words shook you to your core.
''Can I fuck you?'' he asked
Your brain was fizzled. Why was he asking? He knew he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with you, but also did he feel so reserved or upset that he felt the need to ask?
''Yes'' you said, eagerly, not caring how desperate you sounded, getting up form your position and watching how his eyes darkened when he saw you take off all your clothes and standing bare in front of him.
You stood there as Lando shamelessly let his eyes roam your body, licking his lips when they stopped at your dripping pussy.
He pulled you onto his lap, grabbing your face for a feverish kiss, not wasting time to let his tongue slip into your mouth as his hands wandered all over your body.
You kissed him back with as much urgency, as you let yourself grind on his thigh.
Lando let out a series of grunts as he looked down and saw the wet patch on his shorts that you left.
''Still wearing too many clothes baby'' you said, already working on taking his tshirt off as he raised his hips off the couch to rid his shorts.
Once he was finally as naked as you, you finally got onto your knees on the carpet, sitting between his legs and you took his thick girth and gave him a few pumps.
Lando's back arched off the couch as he settled his arms behind his head, resting it back and openly letting pornographic moans leave his mouth.
The noises he made as you took his tip into your mouth to suck on had you clenching your thighs together, you were sure you could cum by just listening.
You fondled with his balls as you pushed his cock further into your mouth until he was hitting the back of your throat, as you started a steady rhythm so fucking him in and out.
You looked up to see he has his eyes closed, mouth agape and he continued to let himself be heard, hips thrusting up every now and then at how sensitive he was everything his slit touched your throat.
''Fuckin hell, so good'' he mumbled, more to himself as you sped up your pace, eager to taste him.
Lando eventually bought his hands down to hold onto your face, thrusting his hips up to fuck himself into your mouth.
By now you were gagging around him, spit messing your chin and dripping down onto your thighs. Looking at that alone and hearing the sloppy sounded you were making was enough to push Lando over the edge.
He groaned as his dick twitched uncontrollably, his cum blasting out of him down your throat as his hold on your hair tightened.
You moaned at the salty taste of Lando as he praised your name like a mantra, praised you at how well you took him.
He let his body relax back, chest heaving as he was slowly coming down from his high when he finally opened his eyes and saw you still on your knees, wiping your chin with the back of your hand as your own breathing at reached new heights.
''Come here'' he said softly, pulling you onto his lap and cupping your face, gently this time, peppering your face in wet kisses as he finally licked your chin clean of the mixture of spit and cum.
He tucked your hair behind your ears as he bit down on your lower lip, feeling your grind yourself on him once again.
''Need to feel you love. Gonna let me fuck you now yeah?'' he said.
You loved when he spoke to you like that, used his words like that.
You quickly nodded your head, ''Please Lando'' you begged.
''Ride me first then I'll take you from behind?'' he asked again.
You didn't respond verbally though. You just braced your hands on his shoulders as Lando pumped himself a few times, running his cock through your folds before settling at your hole, letting you sink down on him fully in a single thrust.
Your foreheads were resting against each other as the feeling of pain and pleasure overtook your body, letting out rhythmic moans as your walls clenched around Lando.
''Fuck'' he breathlessly cooed as you bit down on your lower lip.
''Hmm'' was all you managed back.
Once your body was used to the intrusion, (you always had to have some time because Lando was bigger than average and it was stung bad at first) you lifted yourself up before slammed back down again, and you continued that rhythm as a string of obscene moans left both yours and Lando's mouths.
His hand were planted tightly on your hips, guiding your movements of riding his thick pole up and down as you couldn't help but lean down and take one his nipples into your mouth, moaned at how it felt to have it in you mouth as you bit and sucked on it. That had Lando a whining mess.
''My brat, so filthy. So fucking dirty'' he mumbled through gritted teeth, spit flying through his mouth as he said it.
Your pace was raw, riding him like your life depended on it, when Lando bought his hand down and let his fingers toy with your clit, quickly edging you on.
''Fuck Lando I'm gonna cum'' you said, panting in his face as his eyes were stuck on yours, growing darker with every thrust.
''Do it'' he said, sternly. The raspiness and hoarseness of his voice only turning you on as you leaned down and locked lips with his in a harsh kiss, both your tongues everywhere, so unable to even have a proper kiss - just licks and nips of each others mouth.
The moment he pinched your slit through his fingers, you were a shuddering mess in his arms. Your body shaking violently as your orgasm ripped through you, gushing your fluids onto Lando's dick, now running down your thighs and his as he took control of fucking himself into you.
''How do you manage to cum so violently baby? Are you okay?'' he asked, concerned etched on his face as he was always so shocked at how much cum you mustered up. Though not concerned enough to stop fucking you!
You breathed heavy, trying to talk and failing to do so he slowed his movements slightly.
''Fuck it you Lan, you don't know what you do to me'' you said, smirking at thinking how this will boost his ego.
''Yeah?'' he asked, picking up his pace again.
''Uh huh. All you'' you said, trying to keep up with him though your body was like jelly.
He sensed your weakness and gently pulled you up, man-handling your body to lay down on the couch as he placed himself between your legs, spreading them wide open before pushing his angry dick back into you, relentlessly chasing his own high now.
You shut your eyes and bit your lip when Lando leaned down and roughly sucked on your nipple, showing it no pity. Your hands found his hair, pulling at and tugging it roughly.
Lando continued his onslaught as his words started again. He was whispering how to were such a fucking good girl for letting him use you as a slut, taking his thick dick so nice, how one day he was gonna fuck a baby into you, how you'd be only his whore forever, and no one would ever get to know how good you are, how you ruined sex for him.
His words were quick to have you shaking underneath him again, an orgasmic bliss taking over your body as you were sure you would black out with the pace he was still going at.
''Uh fuck Lando, fuck me, oh god, please'' you moaned and begged, not sure what for.
He laughed, for the first time since the race ended. ''I am fucking you baby, and you're doing so good for me. I fucking love you so much'' he mumbled, putting pressure on your clit, sending you into yet another orgasm, fluids gushing out of your body uncontrollably.
Lando slowed his movements. ''Still want you form the back, get up'' he ordered. And as much as your body felt like it couldn't move, he made you move and positioned you nicely for himself, you were on your elbows, with your ass in the air and Lando sat on his heels and pumped himself a few times, letting his spit drop down onto this cock to lube himself before he finally pushed into your ass hole.
''Fucking love anal with you baby. So fucking hot'' he said through gritted teeth.
He pushed in all the way and by now words had long left your brain. All you could do was hold onto the pillow as tight as you could and shut your eyes, let them roll to the back of your head as Lando used you how he pleased.
You couldn't even muster up any energy to let any moans leave your mouth, so all you could do was pant and let out shaky breaths, with a few tears rolling down your cheeks.
Lando had pulled your body up, so you were leaning back against him and his hands snaked around to your front and squeezed and pulled at your boobs as he still slammed in and out of you.
''Lan, love you but I-I''
''Yes you can'' you interrupted, leaving open mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone.
Within seconds he'd sent you over the edge again, body quivering in his arms as he slowed his movements again, riding you through your orgasm.
''Lan''
''I know baby. One more, yeah? For me?''
How could you not when he was talking to you like that?
You nodded, and he handled your body once again and lay down on the couch, resuming his place from earlier and slowly, painfully almost, gliding his cock through your cunt again.
You held your breath, unsure how your body was gonna take it because as good as it felt, you were sore everywhere.
''You're so good. Such a good brat. One more baby, then we're done'' he said, leaning down to kiss you softly, though the bottom part of his body (and yours) was everything but soft. He ruthlessly slammed in and out of your core as you were starting to see stars now.
''Hm Lando wha-I-I'' you couldn't even form words now. Your body was on overdrive and you swear you were starting to feel things you'd never felt. You couldn't even describe what you were feeling when he asked you.
But just as his dick hit over G-spot over and over and over again, your body gave way and all of a sudden you were squirting, left right and center, unable to control it.
When Lando released what was happening, he couldn't stop his own dick from twitching unexplainably harshly, shooting ropes and ropes of milky white cum deep within you.
''FUCK, Y/N WHAT!?'' he exclaimed, unable to stop himself from shouting it out as he couldn't believe it was actually happening.
You though - you were in a state of bliss. Body tingling and fluttering as you just experienced squirting for the first time, and boy did it feel fucking amazing.
As Lando finally came down from your involuntary actions, he was quick to pull out of you and lean down, slurping and swallowing at every bit of juice and liquid your body just gave out.
His tongue on your pussy sent waves of pleasure and when he slid it through your hole, without really knowing what was happening, you ended up cumming AGAIN.
''Fuck LANDO!'' you shouted, not caring if your neighbors could hear you.
He blew some cool air over your cunt as he pulled back and gave you a sheepish smile.
''Sorry couldn't help myself'' he said, breathless as you were.
He let his weigh collapse onto your body and you arms wrapped around him tightly, trying to calm the both of you down though you were starting to shiver at the cold air hitting you sweaty skin.
Lando's curls were stuck on his forehead as your brushed them up and ran you hand through his hair.
''I've always said it and i will continue to. You are out of this world y/n. Fucking incredible in every fucking way. How the hell are you so good at making me feel this good? And I'm sorry - but you squirting is the single most hottest fucking thing you've ever done.'' he said, kissing you straight away and not giving you time to respond.
When he pulled back, you couldn't help but chuckle.
''Lan, you don't get it. Its the effect you have on me. You seriously have no idea what you do to my insides when you talk act, do anything for that matter. You'd just the most amazing person i know inside and out and just the thought of you does crazy things to me. Don't get even me started on what you make me feel when we fuck. It's unlike anything I've ever felt and i wouldn't have it any other way.''
''I don't know what i did to deserve you, but i love you so so much'' he whispered.
''I love you too baby. But promise me one thing. You wont let that asshole of a team bring you done. You need to know how fucking talented and incredible you are and will always be. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. If they do, they'll have to come through me and i will crush them. But seriously, you are the best out there and i promise the good times will come, you will always be MY world champion. Forget what everyone else says. I love you so much.
''Thank you'' he whispered softly again.
The rest of the night was spent in bed with lazy kisses and dare you say more when you say Lando made you squirt again the next morning ;)
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1#f1 smut#lando norris#f1 fic#lando x reader#lando norris smut#lando smut#ln#lnfour#ln4
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He Doesn't Realize How Much he Needs You Until You're Gone Part One- Dabi
A/n: 100th writing I've posted :3
I hope you like it haha.
General info:
Genre: pure angst \\ wc: 2,425 \\ female reader \\ posted: 06/06/24
Warnings!: arguing, neglect, pure angst, crying, yelling, screaming, hurt, feeling betrayed, injuries (reader gets burned- not by Dabi), pushing your partner away (both parties), feeling worthless, feelings being discarded, mention of therapy, thoughts of leaving, thoughts of death, fear of a loved one dying, numbing your emotions, Dabi raging (burning things), leaving, partner being very tsundere, mention of blood (Dabi's tears), regret, guilt, becoming a husk, I think that's all haha. Pls lmk if I miss anything! <33
I will post two endings, one with angst and one with fluff. Lmk if you want to be tagged!
Tears roll down your cheeks as you spam Dabi with texts. You had just gotten into an argument with your beloved when he stormed out, cursing you out.
"Please." You quietly plead, your voice broken with sobs. "Don't leave me."
All of your texts remain unread. All your calls declined. You were having a panic attack by now, yet nothing seemed to get the villain's attention.
Just as you're about to completely lose it, you hear footsteps. Your freeze, listening with an indescribable intensity. The window opens. Your eyes dart to the activity.
Familiar black combat boots peek through the gap, falling to the floor. Your eyes travel up the familiar torn jeans, the worn out t-shirt, the burned neck, the crooked frown, and finally to the comforting turquoise eyes.
You let out a sob of relief as you see your Dabi standing in front of you. He looks down at you, grimacing.
"What happened to you?" He scoffed.
"I-I was worried." Your voice was hoarse and broken from your sobs.
"Worried?" He grunts. "You're more idiotic than I thought." He groans, grabbing the sandwich you made before the argument.
"I-I thought you were leaving me."
"I'm not gonna leave ya. No matter how annoying you are." He scoffs.
Annoying....
Your mind repeats the word several times, your face stiffening as you numb your emotions.
"Sorry..." you mumble.
"Don't start that pouty crap." He scoffs, shooting you a glare. "I'm tired of you being such a bother. I have so much to deal with. Your pathetic emotions isn't on my list."
You quietly fold your arms, moving to the couch. You watch Dabi silently, taking deep breaths to contain your emotions.
"I'm leaving for a mission tonight. I'll be back before next week."
His voice was less harsh, but nowhere near as warm as usual.
"O-okay.." you mumble, fidgeting with your sleeves. He rolls his eyes with a scoff, stomping into your shared bedroom.
~~
"I'm leaving now, brat."
You scramble to your feet, swiftly moving to his side. You lean up, hoping for a kiss as you ever so slightly pucker your lips.
You know your husband. He will notice... won't he?
His cold eyes move down to your lips. He grunts, turning around and leaving. "See ya later, brat. Don't be pouting when I get home, you hear?" He mutters, hauling himself through the window.
He always came in and out through the back window... it would be bad if your neighbors caught a highly wanted villain in your apartment.. hence the sneaking.
You've lived together for over a year now, you've moved four times now.
"Wait-" you call out, reaching out to your husband. His cold gaze burns into you.
"Um- a-aren't you going to... going to.."
"Spit it out, woman."
"Aren't you going to.. kiss me?" You blush. Dabi scoffs.
"Don't expect needles privileges after your attitude yesterday."
"Attitude?! Do you mean our argument?" You protest.
"Here it goes again." He groans. "You're always complaining and refusing to take accountability."
"Thats nonsense." You clench your fists, trying to suppress your emotions. Tears burned your eyes, but you refused to let them shed.
"What's nonsense is your attitude. You can't even keep me around now can ya? Your attitude always drives me off! I wonder why I ever married you in the first place. You give me attitude and then act like I'm the victim. Pathetic."
Tears well in your eyes. You bite your lip. "I won't ask for anymore from you." You whisper.
"Good. Keep it that way." He lands outside, shrugging his shoulder before walking off with an nonchalant attitude.
You close the window, leaning against the wall as you try to slow down your breathing. Tears fall down your cheeks as you curl in a ball, feeling hurt, angry, betrayed, and worthless.
The days pass by as you wait for Dabi to return. You didn't hear from him, and he was gone far longer than he said he would be. Every text was left unread, every call ignored, every voice-mail left un-listened to.
Eventually, you stopped trying. You got a therapist, and ended up deciding on what was best for you. When he comes home, if he doesn't treat you better, if he doesn't even listen or try to change, its better for you to leave. Even if it was just for a little bit.
Days turn into weeks, and weeks blur into months. Many nights you lay awake, doubting yourself. Doubting your worth.
It killed you inside. Your self esteem plummeted. You stopped going to therapy. All you wanted was your husband. Your husband's love, his validation, his touch, his mere presence.
Curled in a ball, you stared at the wall with a blank expression. Horrid scenarios went through your head as you imagine your poor husband alone, injured, and dying.
Tears blur your vision as you imagine him already dead, his loving soul leaving this world without even telling you goodbye. You hadn't even gotten a kiss. Or an I love you.
The tears don't stop. And they didn't as the hours slowly pass by. You felt like ripping your hair out, screaming, hitting, throwing things- anything to get your mind off of your husband's doomed death.
The window opens. Your eyes dart towards the unlocked glass pane. Combat boots pokes through. You gasp in relief.
A worn, exhausted, injured, and in pain figure follows the boots. Revealing your beloved, Dabi. You let out a small sob, launching yourself at him.
You close your eyes in relief as you feel his warm chest, the familiar staples bringing you comfort. As you move to open your eyes you feel a hand to your shoulder, your backside hitting the floor.
You look up in shock, Dabi looking down at you in disgust.
"I thought you said you wouldn't ask anymore from me." He scoffed. You grab your arm, holding it to your chest.
"I-" you start.
"I really don't want to hear it. Just let me rest." He groans. You slowly lift yourself off of the floor, silently moving into your shared bedroom.
You curl in a ball, hiding under the sheets. You hear him walking around outside of the room, silently listening. Tears blur your vision once more. You cover your mouth, tightly closing your eyes.
You shake with sobs, doing your very best to stay quiet. You can't help but feel worthless. Tears stream down your cheeks as you listen to your husband's familiar footsteps, glad he's safe at the minimum...
Hours pass by as you cry yourself to sleep, your stray tears staining your cheeks.
~~
Dabi's POV
Dabi strolls into your shared bedroom. "Oi, make me a sandwich will ya?" He grunts. Yiu don't move, irritating him.
He moves to your side, snatching the blanket. "I said-" he stops as he sees you asleep, tears stained on your cheeks. A strange pain dtabs at his chest. Shaking it off, he drops the blanket.
Staring at you, he gently cups your cheek, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. He pulls away, caressing your cheek. "I've missed you. Even though you're a pain." He whispers before pulling away.
~~
Your POV
The next morning
You blink open your eyes, rubbing at the lingering sleepiness. Yawning, your eyes lazily run over the room. The curtains were hiding the small bedroom from sunlight, the entire room encompassed in darkness.
Sitting up, you rub your puffy eyes once more. Dabi was no where near sight. Sighing, you absent-mindedly trace the bruise on your arm where you fell.
Your heart aches as you remember your therapist's words. This isn't healthy. It needs to stop...
The door opens, revealing Dabi. "Finally awake, sleepy head?" His voice wasn't the cold growl like last night, but it was no where near gentle.
You nod, timidly. Afraid of upsetting him once more.
"I'm starving. Want to make breakfas..?" This was his way of asking you to. If you agreed, there would be no thank you, for you "wanted" to.
If you said no, he would be irritated for a while. He won't cook, no matter how many times you beg him to while you're away, so he will oftenly go without eating if you're unavailable or refuse to cook.
Biting your lip, you nod. He gives you a short grimace, something similar to a small smile before walking out. Standing up, you yawn, stretching your arms. Your eyes ache from all the crying, but you push that to the back of your mind.
You walk out to the kitchen, beginning to cook. You feel Dabi's eyes on you, but you don't pay much attention. You were guarded, unsure why he's acting so differently this morning. Cautious of unleashing the monster once more.
"Dabi?" You murmur. He grunts in response.
"I talked to a therapist when you were on your mission..."
"A therapist? What for? Did you leak my identity?!" He snaps.
"No, I didn't. I was really struggling for a while and needed someone to help me."
"So you relied on a stranger?!"
"You wouldn't answer. I called, texted, I left voice-mails."
"Oh so you think that your crappy attempt to get my attention justifies getting help from a stranger!? Was he a guy?! Were you sleeping with him?!"
"What?! No! I would never!"
"Then what were you doing with them?!"
"I was getting help for my mental state, Dabi!"
"Oh poor baby, you think being lonely justifies that?!"
"You're being unreasonable. Dabi she told me it was best for me to leave you if you keep treating me like this. I'm telling you this so you can wake up and change. This isn't okay." You snap, taking a deep breath to calm yourself.
"Leave me?!" He laughs. "You wouldn't. You can't live without me."
"You've been making me live without you for months, Dabi. You don't tell me you love me, you don't show me affection, I'm lucky just to have you not yell at me!"
"You're being dramatic." He spits. "You're a spoiled brat. I've been working my arse off for you and you're this ungrateful."
"You've been working for revenge! It's not for me, it never was! I have my own job that pays for all or our bills Dabi!"
"You're listening to a stranger's advice and plan on leaving me?!"
"Only if you don't change Dabi!"
"You knew what you were getting into when you married me, y/n. Stop playing the victim."
"You didn't treat me like this when we first married."
"Keep telling yourself that." He spits, putting his jacket on.
"Where are you going?!" You cry, the food far from recovery, you hazardously shove the pan into the sink, burning your hand. You cry out in pain.
"Y/n!" Dabi yells, hurrying your side. He aggressively graps your hand, making you cry out once more. "Idiot! Why did you hurt yourself like that?!"
"Just leave me alone!" You try to yank your hand away but Dabi yanks it back.
"Stay still!"
"Let me go Dabi!"
"Y/n just sit still!!"
You push him back, protectively pressing your injured hand to your chest. "I said to let me go!"
Dabi's face scrunches up as he looks down at you. After a few silent moments he turns away. "I'm over you and your dramatic act." He mumbled.
Walking to the door, he pulls his combat boots on. "Don't leave!" You cry, coddling your burning hand.
He ignores you, moving to the window. "Dabi! If you leave without us finishing this I'm leaving."
"Go for it. I don't need you. I never did." He sneered.
Your heart throbbed as your beloved husband jumped through the open window, not looking back. Falling to your knees you break into sobs.
You cry over the absence of your beloved, you cry over the pain, and you cry over the dreaded feeling of being completely alone.
You don't stop for hours. It goes on and on until your completely out of tears, numb to the feeling of utter loss. Your hand aches. Your eyes aches. Your heart aches.
It all just- hurts.
You slowly drift to sleep, the cold kitchen floor being the only thing that grounds you from the pain of betrayal.
~~
Dabi's POV
Three days later.
Dropping from the window Dabi nonchalantly glances around the room. It seemed unusually cold an empty. Paying it no mind, Dabi hazardly tossed his jacket and boots towards the front door.
"Y/n, I'm home." He calls, running his hands through his greasy hair, his roots were growing out. Rolling his eyes, he opens the fridge. It was... empty.
"Y/n!" He calls once more, huffing in annoyance. "I get home and can't even eat?!"
No response. "For Pete's sake you petty brat! Get out here!"
Silence.
Anger fills his being before he remembers your words before he left. A strange pain shoots through him, his eyes widen as he runs into your shared bedroom. Everything of yours was... gone.
His heart quickens as he searches the entire house for you. Nothing. Not even a trace. His breathing quickens as he pulls at his hair. Taking a shuddering breathe, he shakes his head.
"You'll regret this y/n... you'll be back and I'll laugh in your face!" He chuckles, losing a bit of his sanity. "I DON'T NEED YOU! YOU'LL SEE!" He screams, activating his quirk as he knocks over a chair. He let's out a scream, lighting anything and everything in sight on fire.
Months pass by. Dabi has turned into a shell, simply surviving. Work, sleep, work, sleep, work... a "good" day is when he remembers to eat or drink. A shower or change of clothes is out of mind.
Walking through the streets, he walks inside the charred apartment. Stepping inside, he closes the door. He doesn't care about his identity anymore, or anything really.
His turquoise eyes scan the apartment, his eyes landing on a photo of you and him. His heart strangely aches once more. "Y/n..." he murmured, his fists clenching.
Falling to his knees, he lets out a broken sob. His eyes burn, tears would be running if they could. Blood drips from his charred tear ducts. He falls to the floor face first, nothing but his beloved wife on his mind.
How could he be so stupid?! How could he be so utterly retarted?! He lost the one thing in this world that actually loved him. Grasping his phone, he dials your number.
Please. Please pick up... please... I need you...
~~~~~
Part two (coming soon) | alt. ending (coming soon) lmk if you want to be tagged!! <33
Dabi's masterlist | Masterlist | Navigation | Tips<3
Reblogs make me smile (bonus points if you tag) and comments make my day!!
~~~~~
Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way, minus reblogging.
#mha#bnha#thehusbandoden#mha fanfiction#mha x reader#bnha x reader#angst#mha angst#mha dabi#dabi x reader#dabi#bnha dabi#dabi x reader argument#dabi x reader angst#dabi x reader pure angst#touya todoroki x reader#bnha touya#touya todoroki#touya x reader#todoroki touya#mha touya#touya x reader angst#touya x reader pure angst#touya x you#x reader#x reader angst#x reader pure angst#touya todoroki x y/n#todoroki x you#todoroki x y/n
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If your still taking requests then can i request a hc for Aaron Warner with a reader thats like the total opposite of him?
Here comes the sun.
pairings: grumpy!aaron warner x sunshine!reader.
summary: you were his sunshine, his light, the reason of living and his beautiful sweet girl.
warnings: grumpy x sunshine trope!!, soft aaron warner, violence and killings (🤭), you guys are in LOOOOVEEE, power couple, this is love actually, chivalry is NOT dead
notes: I actually love doing hcs
(Aaron Warner) tag list 🏷 : @ravisinghs-wife @ab-baybay @aaronwarnerobsessedmylove @cosmicswan
Everyone in the sector was mostly confused than shock that you and warner were dating
i mean everyone know that Aaron Warner Anderson, chief commander and regent of Sector 45, son of the supreme commander of The Reestablishment, has a soft spot for you. You only.
everyone sort of figured out that he was absolutely and immensely devoted and in love with you when he spoke to you with much more gentle and soft tone, looks at you like you are his entire universe (spoiler alert: you are), and of course, how he is very protective of you.
but yet it was such a foreign concept for them to grasp—Aaron Warner? The cruel monster and madman (who also appears to be devilishly handsome) is dating you?
you who is the smart, sweet, charismatic and the poster child? What on earth did you start dating him?
what a typical bad boy and good girl cliché
but of course, while everyone saw the typical cold, snarky, mysterious, commanding leader, you saw your Aaron.
your Aaron who fall first and falls harder every damn time
your Aaron warner who opens the passenger seat at you every time (there’s a rule between you guys that he should always the door for you even when mad or in the middle of the war)
your Aaron who keeps a piece of flower with him every time he gets you a bouquet of your favorite flowers so he would know when it’s dead so he can buy you a new one
he loves listening to you whether it’s something you think it’s dumb, he just encourages you to speak because he loves every little detail of you and just overall love the way you got excited to little things. He also love knowing everything about you.
you sometimes think he doesn’t really listen despite his assurance but he will just randomly say something about it and you goes “aww you remembered”
and he’s just ???? What do you mean he remembered? you and his souls are literally cosmically intertwined and destined to be together in any lifetime of course he remembers!
he is just obsessed with your existence
oh that man is in agony and suffering when you are not with him. his eyes just searching for you.
his emerald eyes lighting up and a smile creeping up to his face when he saw a sight of you
kenji said Warner has become more tolerable because of you
because every time your boyfriend said something sarcastic and insulting, you give him that look and he fixes his attitude and body language and got his shit together.
his first priority is your safety and happiness
“If anything happens to y/n I’m going to kill everyone in this room and myself”
you and Aaron got along really well and he thinks you are always right
and if you’re wrong he will simply reshape the reality so that what you said is correct
you can do no wrong In his eyes
whenever you have a new clothes (that he probably bought) he ask you to do a fashion show for him while he compliments you
“you look absolutely gorgeous, my love”
“that color suits you, love”
“you..you are so…hauntingly beautiful, angel”
he once bought a whole store for you. Literally bought everything you want. The new released book? You have the first copy and it’s signed. Want that dress? It’s yours in every color. Want that bag you saw? It’s on the desk the next day with a flower. New nails? Well, c’mon then he will with you to the appointment. Want that food? He will cook it for you.
“Whatever you want, love. It’s your world.”
aaron who cooks while you look cute on the kitchen counter.
he lets you wear whatever you want even if it’s reveling. He have his gun and machete and is not afraid to use it if someone touched you, looked at you like you are a prey, or when he feels some lust and attraction towards you, well...it wouldn’t be a good thing.
you once gave him a bracelet with a moon jewel twinning with your sun one and boy he absolutely ADORE IT.
he doesn’t let anyone touch it or he had never took it out of his wrist. (you’ll have to kill him before you got that bracelet)
he’s just very protective of his sunshine, one click on the pager and he is RUNNING.
shamelessly threatening everyone that gave you a nasty look.
“every tongue that rises against her will face a consequence of me cutting it and i will gonna make each one of you swallow it.”
“don’t even think about hurting her or I will cut your throat open like a fish.”
he let you practice your eyelining skills on him while you sit on his lap
love to match clothes with you!
he have your eye color made into a beautiful ring
he have your doodles on him tattooed actually
love hearing your thoughts about the book you are currently reading.
he anotates a book for you as a gift
reads every book you ever loved
he does not remove your lipstick stain on his cheecks, hand, lips or even in his blond hair.
after all, he hates everyone except you.
#reader insert#rie answers 🦦#shatter me series#shatter me#aaron warner x reader#aaron warner#aaron warner x you#riewrites 🫀#aaron warner anderson
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liquid courage
infinite darkness!leon x f!reader
summary: reader worries about leon, she goes over to check on him. they end up drinking from there...and things get heated.
warnings/tags: MDNI, foul language, porn with (very little) plot, drunken behavior, mentions of alcohol, age gap (reader is 24, leon is 36 (my lore is probably wrong, dont kill me pls), dom!leon, sub!reader, unprotected pnv action (wrap or don't slap it), pet names (baby, babygirl), daddy!kink, oral (f recieving), praise, dirty talk, hickies and bruises, humping/grinding (reader literally cums in her underwear LOL). mentions of pain during seggs, and other foul stuff i forgot.
an: chat.ai got me all worked up, so here we are. sit back and enjoy pls and ty. also pls roblog <3 and lmk if u wanna be in my tag list.
You and Leon had a complicated "relationship".
He was your next-door neighbor in the loft building that had many, upon many units. He never rarely said anything to you ever, just occasional "hi's" and "hello's" in passing. Just to be polite, neighborly even.
There were times though when you would catch him looking at you as you went out in the hall to go somewhere, you two bumping into each other, he would scan your body...almost eye-fucking you.
Or maybe it was just in your imagination, you weren't ever sure.
Still, the thought of him fucking you for real...made your panties pool with want and need. If just his eyes could do that...you couldn't imagine what else you were missing out on.
You knew that he was always almost never home, probably working or something. You had your suspicions that maybe he was spending time at a girl's place or that he was occupying someone else's time.
You had barely said a word to the man, yet, that thought made you jealous and almost predatorily angry. Because you just knew, the way he walked and the way he carried himself...that he knew what he was doing.
He did have his moments, where he broke the silence. One day, he knocked on your door, holding a package out to you.
Not just any package...a vibrator.
Dear god, you wanted to coil up into a ball.
"I think this is yours..." he said, sticking out his large hand that held your sex toy. He didn't even look embarrassed...like you did. Cheeks all red and flustered, staring dumbly as he held out the package to you.
You couldn't stop staring at his hands, the one that held your package. The thoughts of what he could do to you with those hands made your pussy flutter, naughty images filling your brain.
You finally got words out, "Uh, y-yeah...that's mine." you reached out slowly and grabbed the package from him, your fingers brushing. Electric jolts to your body and the small contact. He smirked a little, eyeing you (like he would sometimes do), "Boyfriend not satisfying you?"
Holy fuck, you thought as you parted your lips a little.
"N-No boyfriend..." you nervously stutter out as you feel his eyes grazing your body. He hummed, nodding slowly, almost confirming his suspicions.
"Thats a shame..." he starts trailing off. "Pretty girl like you, should have a boyfriend." He said with a tilt of his lips, your eyes widened a little and you tried not to let a gasp escape your pink lips.
You didn't even say anything, not until he said bye and walked back next door to his apartment. You watched him go, trying to process the words that he had said to you...the way he looked at you.
God, his gaze, you felt so hot underneath it. Like a reptile under a heated lamp.
You closed the door and walked back into the threshold of your apartment, ripping the box to the vibrator open and charging it while you still had the pool between your thighs.
That's where your crush started...you whiny and moaning under your toy as you thought of him fucking you. It was almost pathetic, he didn't even know you existed, yet you were coming undone on your own accord at the thought of him.
"Daddy...please..." you moaned to yourself, chanting it like a mantra as you came fast. It was embarrassing, thrilling and fun but you felt like a naive little girl with a crush on a man you could never have.
After that, you tried to get yourself involved in anything involving him. You found that harder than actually planned so you decided that maybe looking him up would be a good idea.
Just to know a little more about him.
You typed his name into the search bar, a thousand results popped up but only one interested you. ROOKIE COP UNDER SIEGE you read. The rest of the article was basically outlining a strange occurrence in Raccoon City...involving a younger looking Leon.
It was his offical police issued picture that he took and... He looked...so small and just...innocent. The other picture in the article was of him...but he looked different.
His mouth was pressed in a firm line, jolting blue eyes looking straightforward at the camera, then...his eyes. His eyes didn't look hopeful and full of life like they were in the other one you saw.
They looked...like he had seen something, witnessed something truly awful and you had no idea what. The article states that the incident was unreported and handed over to the government.
'21 YEAR OLD COP' it read...and that was years ago...that meant...he was 36 by now. A lot older than you...
And my lord, did he age well. Even at 36 he still had his looks going for him...and you knew that the age gap between you both was large but...you still wanted him.
You closed your computer and leaned back on the couch, you couldn't even do much except wait for him to show up or "conveniently" bump into him out in the hallway.
So, you just had to sit back and wait, wait until you saw him again or until your curiosity got the better of you.
Turns out, time was definitely not in your favor, not one bit.
Days passed, weeks, and eventually a month...
You thought you were never going to see Leon again, ever, he was always working or never home. You just wanted to see him, so one day...after getting off the computer from working all day, you decided to go next door and knock.
No harm, no foul...right?
You had just convinced yourself that you were doing the neighborly thing and going to check in on him.
You got dressed into a lavender lace underwear set, sliding on your favorite sundress. You brushed your hair out...you even shaved. You weren't expecting anything to happen but you just wanted to be prepared...right?
So you nervously walked out your front door and went next door, each footstep felt heavy as you stepped towards the oak. You didn't know if you should knock or...ring his bell...
Both made you feel like your heart was about to beat right out of your chest and catapult into the sky.
"I wonder..." you reached your hand towards the doorhandle, twisting it a little. You expected it to be locked and you'd just have to knock to see if he was home but...it opened and you gasped.
You walked into the apartment, knocking on the door as you entered.
And what you saw...shocked you a little.
Leon was resting on the couch, nursing a drink, a ton of other bottles were littered on the coffee table in front of him. You had no idea how much he had actually consumed but you stepped in and softly closed the front door behind you.
It felt wrong to be here, witnessing him like this, but curiosity poked at you so you stepped further in, going towards the living room where he was sat. He didn't even acknowledge your presence until you came up to the opposite side of the couch.
"What do you want?" his voice was tired and deep, gravelly as if he had been up for days. But god, he looked so damn good and you hated yourself for how your eyes scanned his face as he said it.
"I-I just came to check on you, your front door was unlocked." you say softly, motioning to the door behind you. Leon didn't say anything, he took another sip of his whiskey. "Seems you took happy hour a little bit too literal..." you laugh nervously.
He tossed back the remaining liquor in his glass and lazily looked over at you with dark eyes, "And what if I did?" his voice was sharp, he seemed bothered that you were even there to begin with.
Which you understood, you basically just walked in unannounced into his apartment. But...you were glad that you showed up when you did. He did not look his best and judging by the bottles littered on the coffee table, he had been at this awhile.
"You shouldn't be drinking alone, just saying." you commented, sitting on the arm of the couch. Your eyes scanned him as you waited his response. He spoke after a beat of silence, "Why not?" he pours more liquor into his glass.
"I got my own problems...and they aren't yours." Leon followed up, tossing some of his hair out of his eyes. He held the glass in his hand, sloshing it around and sending a small glare to where you sat on the arm of his couch.
You decide to take the moral high ground and not argue with him, "Because I want to help but you're being a stubborn ass...so." you pop out your lips and carefully take a seat on the couch next to him.
He leans forward as he looks at you, "and why do you even care?" he harshly said, taking another small sip of whiskey. That was a question, why did you care? You've always cared about people, but you were too stubborn to admit that that to him.
"I don't..." you said slowly. "You have made it obvious that I don't need to care about you." you mutter, looking away from him and at all the bottles sitting on the table in front of you.
Reverse psychology, works everytime. You smirk to yourself.
He leans back onto the couch cushions, eyeing you, "So if you don't care..." He trails off. "Why are you still here?" he asks with a stern tone, no harshness but just. Curiosity.
Because I wanted to check on you...and I want you to bend me over the table and rail me. You thought with a shake of your head, you could not say that...god, you sounded insane and...horny.
You just settle for, "It's complicated." as you lean back onto the couch, the dress pooling around your thighs as you do. "I do care...maybe...a little." or a lot, your brain corrects.
He sets his glass down, leaning towards you. "Well, if you care about me, get me another damn drink." He was being playful with his words, but his eyes still pierced your skin, all dark.
Disappointment pooled a little in your stomach at that, "That's all? That's all you want?" you blink at him. "Just more...alcohol..." you didn't let the disappointment in your eyes falter a little.
He speaks up as you adjust a little on the couch, "What do want me to say?" he takes another swig from his almost empty glass, looking over at you. "I'm an alcoholic...you want me to apologize? To say I'll change? Cause you and me both know that's a load of crap." Hiis tone sharpens as he says that, he scrunches his face up, almost wincing at his words.
"...you going to get me that drink?" he asks, his tone suddenly 10x calmer than before. You swallow and get up from his couch, "Fine. Whatever, doesn't matter." you clear your throat before going over to where his alcohol is sat on the counter.
You grab a glass off of the drying rack by the sink, an idea forming in your head. If you were going to be bold, best to have some liquid courage. So, you grab the glass and the other bottle of whiskey on the counter.
Leon was leaning back against the cushions of the couch, his hand running through his brown hair. When you come back into the room, you unscrew the lid on the bottle, not even looking at him, pouring some whiskey into his glass.
He sees her set down a glass too, as she sits down on the couch beside him. "Hey, uh, thanks." He looks at the drink and then back at you. You smooth the fabric of your dress out against your thighs.
Leon clears his throat, "You know what, how about we drink together?" He reaches out and grabs his glass, motioning towards the empty one you brought out. "Go ahead."
You don't need to be asked twice, he had taken the bait...or maybe he had planned this but deep down you doubted it. You take the glass, filling it up a little bit with the amber liquid.
You sigh a little, leaning back on cushions, taking a sip of the burning liquor. "Thanks."
He looks at your glass that rests in between your hand, on top of your eyes before they flit back up to your face. "So..." he fills the silence with his voice as you look over at him. "...What is this 'complicated thing' you have to say to me?" He quirks a brow at you.
I want you to absolutely ruin me...
You take another sip of the liquid as you look away from him, "Nothing, s' stupid." you say quietly, mumbling into your glass. The alcohol was starting to take affect a little bit. The small sips you've had burned your throat, but they urged you to stay sitting next to him on the couch.
He pauses then shakes his head, "No no," He looks over into your eyes. You look up at him as he talks, "you can't start a conversation and then back out." Leon takes another sip of his drink as he says this, eyes boring into you. His tone being playful and stern.
You rake a hand through your hair, taking another sip of whiskey.
"I can't even entertain the idea because...i'm 24 and you're...older." You admit bravely with a blush covering your face, taking a large gulp of the whiskey, throwing it back all at once. You felt his eyes bore holes into you as your heart almost pounds right out of your chest.
Leon stares at you for a beat and then shakes his head, "So?" he pauses and then speaks through a sigh. "Just because we got an age gap doesn't mean anything...unless you think I'm still dating high school girls."
You gulp, reaching forward and pouring more whiskey into your glass, then leaning back as he continues. "You think I'd try making a move on you?" Leon's deep blue eyes bore into your head as he's scanning your features, trying to read your reaction.
You blink a couple times, a blush still covering your face as you take a swig of the whiskey. "S' a little more complicated than that, Leon." you breathe.
Calm down, he's not gonna pounce on you, you think. But you would probably like it anyways.
"Well then, do you want to tell me, 'What's more complicated than that' or just keep beating around the damn bush?" He keeps glancing from his drink to you. Your breath stutters as you bring the glass back up to your lips, drinking another small gulp.
Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was you being truly bold but the next words you said put everything into motion for the rest of the night.
You inhale another gulp of air, looking over at him, trying not to look him directly into the eyes as you said this. "Maybe I've...thought about...you making a move on me..." you swallow.
"...and I've not entirely hated the idea." you admit to him, the silence of the room stretched around you and him as you said the words.
He pauses, you can see it out of your prochiral vision. "...What?" he says. Leon glances back down at his drink, his dark brown hair moving with him before he looks back up at you.
Raising a brow, he asks, "You're into me?"
And you swear your stomach might just fall out of your ass, you take a swig of whiskey, slowly. Shifting a little bit, crossing your legs so the fabric moves a little on your thighs.
"Well when you put it like that..." you sigh, looking down at the glass in your lap. "I might be...yeah." you admit.
"But it doesn't matter. Your older and you just...your way more mature than me and I'm just some stupid little 24-year-old girl with a dumb crush." You surprisingly admit, tossing back more whiskey. Your sober thoughts had started to come out the more you consumed his liquor.
You down the rest of the glass, waiting for him to say something beside you. You wouldn't dare look at him, he was so beautiful and just...god, you wanted him inside of you...
He swigs down the rest of his glass like you did only moments earlier. Leon rests both arms on the couch and looking up at you. His eyes were locked on you.
"I want you to answer me, honestly." His voice is slow and serious, stern. Almost like a father disciplining you, the thought of him ordering you around like that...it made your pussy throb for him.
"Yeah?" you ask, waiting for him to ask you whatever he needs to.
He steadies himself as he looks at her, responding, "Do you honestly think this can work? For a guy like me to start something with a girl like you?" Leon takes another sip of his alcohol as he looks at you again.
You listen to him speak, desperation and disappointment pooling in your belly as he talks. "...I work for a secret government agency, that no one knows about, I do...unsavory things for the good of this country and for people. I'm not the kind of guy you want to get mixed up with." He says slowly, warning you.
The message is loud and clear to you: don't start something you can't finish, especially with me.
Challenge accepted, you think.
"I know what you've done Leon..." you bravely say, looking at him with innocent eyes. "I'm not some naive girl, I've done my research." You toss more of the whiskey back into your mouth as you say this.
He looks up at you, his lips pressed into a thin line, he was trying to understand why you were defending him heavily. Leon was trying to even understand why you were over here in the first place.
He grips his glass a little, you watch him do this as he speaks again, envious of the glass in his hand.
"Then you also know the risks of being with someone like me?" Leon looks at you, scanning your body, his gaze dark. You swallow and slowly raise your glass back up to your lips, taking another sip of your drink.
He got you there. you think as you try to come up with a response that doesn't make you sound needy or desperate, even though you were.
But he didn't need to know that.
You press your thighs together, his gaze making want pool in your panties. "A-And what would I be risking exactly?" you say softly, your innocent eyes looking at him.
Leon exhales, tossing back the rest of his glass before sitting it on the coffee table in front of him. "Everything." he mutters. He pinches his brow as he leans back on the couch.
"You're 24, a damn kid to me, and if you honestly think it'll be easy sailing with me then just think...about all the ways that it could go wrong." He closes his eyes with a sigh, not out of frustration but out of the risk he would be taking...just to be with you.
His eyes scan your face for understanding, "If something happens to you...then I'd be the one to blame. Do you understand?" You blink and sit your glass down on coffee table next to his, releasing a breath.
You lean back on the couch, your back meeting the large cushions, yet again, and the heaviness that his words carried sobered you up. He trusted you with his secret, he was trying to make sure you were serious...that you weren't going to go running off on him.
He worked for the government, he told you and you realized that in that moment, he was probably not allowed to share such information. Especially, with you.
You did realize the weight of his words, what he was saying and trying to get you to understand.
"I'm...not a little kid, I know what I'm doing." You sigh, playing with the hem of your sundress, not daring to meet his eyes that were watching you with skepticism...almost wonder.
Leon nods, silently, thinking as he looks at the empty glass next to hers on the coffee table. "Why me? Why not someone your own age? Someone that doesn't work for the D.S.O?" he queries you with curious eyes.
You take a stuttering breath, admitting the truth. "None of the guys my age..." you start, trying to not let the alcohol fail you now. "...make me feel the way that you do...I don't know why but..." you shake your head as your face flushes, your eyes flitting up to meet his.
His eyes widen a little, if you weren't watching him so closely, you probably wouldn't notice the subtle shift. His tone shifts as he speaks, breathing out some air.
You watch him as he processes what you just said, looks like he had been slapped in the face. You almost want to take back your words, forget the pool in your underwear and leave but...then he speaks.
"You feel something...?" He trails off.
"Like what kind of...?" and you just press your thighs together and look at him with desperation in your eyes.
"I want..." you swallow. "You."
He doesn't say anything for a minute as he looks at you. Leon was processing your words, his eyes trailing down to your thighs that are pressed together, which just confirmed his thoughts.
You wanted this.
"I feel the same way..." He says, looking away towards his lap. You gasp a little at his words, your nerves still on fire. The alcohol buzzing through your body, making you feel electric at his eyes on you.
"But..." you didn't like the 'But', they were never good when spoken by a man you wanted.
"...just know what your getting yourself into..." His eyes return to yours as you bite the inside of your cheek, confusion at what he meant.
Did he mean in bed or...? because you could handle it. Or you would try for him...anything he wanted you would do.
Shamelessly enough, it made you aroused at the thought of him ordering you around. God, you just wanted him inside of you.
"As in? What?" you innocently ask, a knot forming in your lower stomach at the question.
Leon presses his lips into a line again, his harsh tone almost a bite as he speaks to you this time. You couldn't tell if he was just really impatient with you or if this was just his regular nature towards people.
"I already told you." He grumbles, leaning forward a little bit, elbows on his knees. "I'm not a good guy, not some knight in shining armor."
He shifts a little at this, continuing, "I do bad things for this country. Things that no one should have to do." The agent looks up at you, his eyes somewhat vulnerable. "Can you handle the things that I do?"
You just nod, vigorously.
Even though the thought of him having to kill people, kill things that were probably behind your comprehension. It scared you. But that was just the career he chose; it was his life, and he was the one to live it.
Not you.
His eyes turn dark in an instant, "Can you handle that part of me?"
You would be dripping on the couch by now if it wasn't for your underwear. You knew what he meant but the way he was looking at you with curiosity in his eyes.
It made you want him even more, if that was even possible.
You take a stuttering breath, your nerves getting the best of you, yet again as your cheeks flush, "I mean...I've...not run away yet? Right?" you let out a nervous laugh at this.
"Gotta mean something..." you offer him a nervous smile.
It almost looks ridiculous in your head, the way you're smiling at him as he just looks at you almost no emotion on his face. His gaze serious and his eyes dark, made you feel foolish and small to him.
As if what you said or did, didn't make any difference in the slightest.
Leon stares at you for a long moment, his eyes scanning your face, looking at your lips. The air is thick in the room, his breathing and yours taking up the sound.
Thats before he pulls you towards him, saying in an almost groan, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."
You land on top of him almost as your legs go either side of his lap, straddling him. He has you close now, exactly where he wants you. His hands planted firmly on your hips, pulling your face close to his.
You could feel his breath against your lips, you grabbed onto his shoulders, keeping yourself steady. Removing one of his hands off of your hip, reaching up to trace the large pad of his thumb over your bottom lip. You part them only slightly.
"How do you want me to handle you?" He smirks a little, his words only echos in your ears. You were practically leaking, sitting on his lap lightly.
The want in his eyes, he would melt you into a puddle on the floor if he really wanted to.
As innocent and as sweet as you can muster, you say, "However you want..." The alcohol was making you bolder, pushing you to say and do things that would make more sober you, blush red.
He lightly pulls down your bottom lip with his thumb, "Good. Because..." he leans closer to you now, slowly dropping his thumb away from your mouth. "I wanna do this." he whispers, pressing his lips to yours.
You hum into the kiss, not even wasting any time as you kiss him back in a daze. His lips were soft, even softer than you imagined, they felt good against yours.
His tongue teases your lips, you let him in, now kissing more messily and frantically. You were starved and he was feeding you, giving exactly what your touch starved body, desired.
"Taste so good, baby." He mumbles in between kisses, that only spurs you on more, pressing a bruising kiss too his lips. Leon groans against the kiss pressing you directly on to his crotch.
You felt his erection as you whimpered into the kiss, carefully rolling your hips against it. He felt so big and he probably wasn't even fully hard yet.
"What? Feel good? You like grinding down on my dick?" He whispers, pulling his lips away from you and moving them down to your jaw. The foul words made your stomach coil, you nodded as you pressed your clothed entrance against it again.
"God, baby, so needy." He sucks at the skin on your neck, making your pussy throb at his words. You keep grinding down on his dick as he groaned against your neck. "Fuck." you heard him say as you kept rolling your hips over his clothed erection.
"Feels s'good." You whimper, your voice breaking in desperation.
"I know, babygirl, fuck..." He groans as your hips keep up their unrelenting pace. He holds onto your hips for dear life as he keeps sucking and nipping at your neck.
You feel that coil unwind, feel yourself become closer as you release a soft moan, filling the air. Your hands hold onto his head, gripping his hair. "Leon..." you moan, pressing yourself harder on his clothed dick.
"What do you want baby? You wanna cum? Wanna cum for me?" He growls into your ear as you keep up the pace, feeling your stomach bubble. You bite your lip and nod.
"Use your words for me." He orders. You whimper and keep going, trying to find the words without releasing a moan instead. "W-Wanna cum for you d-" you stop yourself as you moan. Your eyes almost going wide at the word that almost slipped out of your lips.
"What was that? Couldn't hear you sweetgirl?" he teases, licking the sensitive part of your neck. You whine again, so close to your release, he grips your hips, stopping you from moving.
You almost cry, feeling your release just barely in your grasp. "What did you say baby? Be a good girl and use your words for me." he growls, holding your chin in his hands, forcing you to look at him.
You bite your lip at his hungry gaze, "Daddy..." you mutter.
His eyes don't widen and if he's shocked, he doesn't show it. You expected him to kick you out and to never see him again as you muttered it.
But to your surprise he looks up at you with hunger. "You want to suck on Daddies cock?" He growls, as you gasp and nod at his words. Not expecting him to just fall into your kink so easily, most guys are embarrassed to have you call them that in bed.
Most guys weren't Leon.
"Okay, baby, go ahead. Show me how good you feel." He releases the grip on your hips, letting you continue to grind against his clothed erection.
"Mmmm, want you so bad, daddy." you whimper as you keep rolling your hips down, harder, your release slowly building again. The friction was making you leak, probably dripping onto his dark jeans.
He groans, watching as your hips move over his. "What do you want Baby? My fingers?"
You shake your head, close to cuming in your underwear. "Want your cock, daddy. Been...wanting it...forever." You say through a moan. Keeping your assault against his hips.
"How long?" he grunts, holding onto your hips tightly as you move them frantically.
You lean back your head in a moan, the coil unwinding again, "Since...I first...saw you." you admit in a daze, letting your hands grip his biceps, probably drawing blood.
"Fuck...baby, if I knew you would've wanted this sooner. I would've just given it to you." He bites his lip in a whimper, he was probably about to cum in his pants. You were almost there, barely, you just needed his words and his touch for the coil to finally break.
You admit another thing, to get his attention as your fucking yourself against him, "I fucked myself to the thought of you..."
"How? Your fingers or..." he trails off in lust as he remembers a month ago when delivered that package to your door. How flushed you were as he stood there, eyeing him, and how you bit your cheek at his words.
"You fucking little..." he trails off in a moan, you roll your hips harder. "Fucked my vibrator, pretended it was your cock..." you moan again, rolling your head forward onto his shoulder.
You were reaching it, fast, you could feel it.
"Gunna cum, daddy, gunna cum." You whimper fucking your hips faster against his clothed erection. He has gripped onto your hips letting you come undone on top of him.
"Cum for me, baby." He growls.
"More, say more, so close..." You whine, into his shoulder.
Leon kept you steady as you rocked, trying to talk you through your impending orgasm. "Going to fuck you so good. You'll be feeling...it for days." he said.
"Oh god, daddy, yes..." you reach your peak, cuming hard in your underwear, basically ruined and soaked in your juices now. He softly touches your face, moving hair back behind your ear as you ride out your high against his erection.
Leon is the one to speak first afterwards and your thankful. Worried that he would be thinking it was awkward for you to have come undone just by humping him.
"How do you feel, baby?" He asks, his voice low but sweet as he traces his thumb over your cheek.
"Felt good, felt really good." You mumble to him. You look down between you at the wet spot you left on his jeans. "I'm sorry..." You start, your cheeks heating up with embarrassment.
He shakes his head, looking at you gently, "It's okay. I can just wash them." He is still tracing his finger over your cheek as looks at you, you don't know what he is thinking but it makes you nervous not knowing.
"Did you really mean what you said?" you ask, trying not to seem shy under his gaze when you literally just came undone on top of him.
"About what, baby?" He brushes his thumb over your bottom lip again. You blink slowly trying not to seem desperate or whiny, you still wanted him. You wanted him to fuck you. The release on his lap only made it worse.
"Fucking me...until I can't...walk or something like that?" you ask, nerves overtaking you again as you gaze into his blue eyes. Feeling him still hard beneath you.
"You still not satisfied, babygirl? You need daddy's cock?" He teases with a smirk, watching as you shiver underneath him with nothing but his words and his soft touch.
You nod frantically, he moves his other hand up to tuck some hair back behind your ear. "Words, use your words." He sternly says and you recoil a little at his order.
Something bubbled in your belly, you didn't know if it was his authority or...what but jesus. You wanted to do anything he asked.
"Yes, daddy, I want your cock." you say sweetly, trying not to seem nervous under his gaze and his hands slowly lifting up your sundress. He licks his lips, looking at the dark spot on his jeans from your cum.
"You made a mess on daddy's lap, baby. You've been naughty, very naughty. I don't think I should let you have my cock." Leon teases, smirking as he twirls a strand of your hair between his fingers.
His cock was uncomfortably hard beneath you, made your want pool in your lower stomach all over again. “Daddy, please.” you whimper, pathetically, trying to roll your hips again.
“Just want you inside me…” you whimper, trying to get more friction, anything or everything. You don’t care anymore.
"I'll take care of you, baby. I'll be good to you." You whimper at his words, trying not to wiggle anymore for friction. He carefully lays you down on the couch, on your back.
He leans up and presses a bruising kiss to her lips, his hand stroking her thigh, “Such a good girl for me.” He mumbles in between languid strokes of his tongue.
You want him everywhere, you don’t know how much long you can keep this up, he already made you cum once and that wasn’t even by his own accord.
He reaches down and carefully runs a finger up her soaked underwear, pressing a sloppy kiss to your jaw as he does. Your chest is rising and falling as he teases your already soaked panties.
“Baby, you’re underwear is soaked.” He lowly chuckles as he presses another kiss to your lips. You whimper in anticipation as he plays with the hem of your panties.
Leon leans back, he smirks, “Or is that because you drenched yourself once already?” He asks as he finally pulls the underwear down your legs.
You nod frantically, not sure if he was actually asking or just commenting on your current state of arousal. He slips a hand through your wet folds, causing you to shiver.
"Use your words, babygirl." He says as he just brushes his finger lightly across your clit, causing you to whimper. You look up into his dark blue eyes, "S' all for you, daddy." You say as he pushes your sundress up with his hand.
"All that just from grinding on my dick, sweetheart?" He tuts, running his hand down your stomach and too your aching cunt. You writhe under him with another frantic nod.
He tuts, "You dirty girl." Leon smirks as he teases your clit again with his fingers, running the pad of his thumb over the sensitive bud. You shiver and feel a wave of arousal at his thumb's movements.
You let out a small moan as he continues to stroke it. This seems to catch his attention. You were already so needy and sensitive from the orgasm moments before.
"You think you can take my fingers, baby?" He groans as he continues to stroke your clit, you feel another orgasm bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you nod, "Yes, daddy."
He complies, seeing that your answer was good enough to slip one finger into your tight and needy cunt. "Uhh! Daddy!" you moan, his fingers were much larger and thicker than you even imagined, stretching you out beyond your imagination.
"You like that? You like my fingers fucking into your tiny hole, baby?" He whispers dirtily into your ear as you let out another strangled moan.
"Yes...yes!" You whine as your orgasm slowly builds again, he's pumping his finger in and out of you at a faster rate now, your whines and moans echo through the large loft apartment.
Leon keeps flicking his thumb over your clit as he pumps his finger in and out of you, you grip onto his bicep so hard you think you might draw blood, again.
"What if I just..." he says lowly as he removes his finger, quickly adding a second one. "...do this?" you practically moan out, it's pathetic really because it's not even his cock that's got you like this.
It's two of his fingers pumping in and out of your drenched hole, stretching you out and making you edge closer to the second orgasm.
"Daddy! Please don't stop! Feels s' good." You say, biting your lip, your back arching off the couch as he finger fucks you into oblivion. You babble more about his fingers pumping in and out of you.
"My cock is going to feel so good inside of you, sweetheart." He whispers into your ear, his words spurring you on as you feel your second release coming up. You release a pornographic moan as he curls his fingers.
"Please! Please! Please, daddy. Need you inside me so bad." you whine as you feel your second orgasm rapidly approaching. He presses more kisses into your neck as he groans.
"Gonna fuck your tight little hole so good, baby. You'll be feeling it for days." He rasps into the skin of your neck as he speeds the movement of his fingers, his thumb assaulting your clit.
His words making you clench against his fingers with trembling thighs, you grab harder onto his bicep as you reach your second release, "Fuck! I'm -- coming!" You pathetically moan.
"Good girl, drenching my fingers." He coos as he presses a featherlight kiss onto her jaw. He slowly works you down from your orgasm, slowing down his fingers as you finally catch your breath.
Your chest rises and falls, feeling like you just ran a marathon. Leon pulls his fingers out of you with a languid groan as he sits back, keeping eye contact with you.
Two drenched fingers rise as you look at them with a small whimper, he smirks a little before putting them into his mouth, sucking your release off of his fingers.
"Sweet, just as I thought." He softly says, leaning back over you, slotting himself between your hips. He braces himself on either side of your head as he presses his lips to yours.
You moan into his mouth, tasting yourself on his tongue as he sloppily kisses and licks your lips, your arms chaining around his neck.
You sloppily make out for a few seconds, moaning and groaning from you both are the only sounds heard in the loft apartment. His clothed erection makes contact with your sensitive core again, making you clutch onto his lips tighter, whimpering.
"Please, I want...I want it." you say softly, begging him in a whine as you try to meet his erection that keeps brushing up against your clit.
Something dark gleams in Leon's eyes as he looks at you, seeing you all pathetic, whining underneath him for his cock. "Ask me, very nicely baby. Maybe I'll consider fucking you good." He says with an evil sort of grin as he teases her. He was going to fuck her anyways but teasing her was just part of the fun.
She whimpered as she looked up at him, "Don't make me."
Leon smirks down at her grabbing a hold on her chin, forcing her to look right into his eyes, blue and daring as he looks at her. "You'll ask nicely or not get anything at all." He says in a stern voice, holding onto her jaw with a strong hand. "Is that clear?"
Fuck. Me.
She feels her drenched core throb at his voice, so stern and demanding making her nod her head vigorously. "Yes, daddy." She says as she looks up at him, biting her lip.
He nods with a smirk, "good, now ask." He removes his hand from her chin, making sure her eyes are still locked on his. She swallows a little and tries to gain what's left of her breath to ask him.
The silence hangs as she utters the words, they both need to hear, "Please fuck me, daddy." she asks softly as she looks into his eyes. She didn't know how much longer she could last, the arousal was getting uncomfortable at this point.
Luckily, she wouldn't have to wait much longer, Leon's face spread into a mischievous smirk. "Good girl." He says with a small squeeze to her ass.
Woah, when did his hands get there? Fuck.
You practically mewl at his praise, he props himself up back up on his knees, still in between your thighs. You watch as he undoes his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his hard on in his boxers. She whimpers and tries to grab for it to touch it, he moves her hand away.
"No, no. If you do that, I'll cum without you. Hands off." He says sternly and you nod at him, biting your lip as you obey him. "Sorry, Daddy." she says softly.
He smiles at you gently as he pushes his boxers down, his cock springing free. She swallows and looks from it to his face, practically drooling.
Holy shit, oh my god...
"It's okay baby, I'll give you what you want." He says as he caresses her face with his hand, you lean into the touch as he moves down to be on top of you again, his large cock brushing against your entrance causing you to whine pathetically.
"Oh, so whiny. Shhh, you'll get it. Be patient." He murmurs into your ear, hands resting on the couch pillow behind you. You had no choice but to wait, your hips bucked a little, trying to see past the teasing and desperately find some friction.
He reached down between you, grabbing his dick and running it through your wet and overstimulated pussy. "Daddy..." You find yourself whining again. He nudges the tip against your entrance, his large hand guiding it.
"Mmm, still so wet for me baby, good girl." He groaned into your ear as he let the tip nudge your opening and slip in a little. You moan softly, feeling the head of his cock in your pussy. "Please..." She whines, holding onto his bicep in a vice grip.
He chuckles in your ear, his voice soothing. "Okay, okay baby, no more teasing." He lets his hips move slowly inside of her, his dick stretching her out. The white heat burned but felt so good, your skin was on fire in the best way possible.
"Daddy." you whine as you bite down on your lip hard enough, your eyes squeezing shut as stars danced in your vision. She leaned her head back, lips parting in a silent scream. "So tight around me, fuck." He says in almost a low growl, nipping at your earlobe.
Your pussy would never be the same, he was sliding all the way in until the head of his dick hit your cervix. She whimpered and clawed at his arm, probably leaving scratch marks later, neither of them seemed to care right now.
He started moving his hips, hitting her deeper and deeper with each thrust. "God, yes. Fuck." He cursed into her ear as he fucked her hard and deep. "Daddy!" she moaned loudly, not even caring if the neighbors in the other loft apartments could hear them.
"So, fucking good, so good." He repeats into her ear, she clenches around him, feeling more arousal as his words spur her on more, her legs going to wrap around his hips, letting him go as deep and fast as he wants with her.
He takes the hint, slipping his hand under her dress, palming her tit over her bra. His hips moved faster as if he was a wild animal, hitting deep inside of her. She cries and whimpers around his cock as it hits that spot over and over.
"Daddy, daddy, mmm..." He was fucking the words right out of you. You couldn't even form any thoughts as he pounded into you. She felt something bubbling in her belly as he fucked her. She dug her fingernails into his skin, his face buried in her neck, licking and biting. "Daddy, not going to...last..." She whimpers as he presses a final bite to her neck.
He leans his head up to look at her as he pounds into her, she looks into his eyes, she sees how his face is scrunched up in pleasure as he pounds into you. "I know, you going to cum for daddy?" He asks in a small smirk, his face watching hers as she nods and starts to moan a little bit louder.
"Yes, gonna...gonna cum!" She moans out pathetically as he sees her whimpering and whining on his cock. He presses a bruising kiss to her lips, his hand holding onto her hips steadily as he keeps up his hips.
You moan into the kiss, letting him rail into her with no hesitation. "Cum for me baby." he whispers against her lips; she lets her eyes roll back as she finally releases on his cock. He groans as she cums around his cock, squeezing it and milking it with her pussy.
"Good girl, good girl." He says with a smirk as he continues fucking her through it to reach his own release. She whimpers and whines, holding onto him tighter and moaning. Eventually, he fills her up with his cum. He lets his hips stutter against hers, she lets her core tighten around his dick, sucking his cum in. "So good..."
He nods with a soft and simple smirk, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips. "You did good, very good." You feel yourself melt at him and his words as he pulls away, slipping out of you. You both moan softly at the loss, your eyes lazily falling shut.
His cum mixed with yours drips out of your stretched entrance, he tucks himself back in his boxers and pants, climbing off the couch. "Stay there, I'll clean you up." Leon says in a soft smile as he walks out of sight for a second before coming back with a washcloth and wiping your shared mess up.
The washcloth makes contact with her sensitive clit, causing her to jerk away a little. He puts a supportive hand on your knee, gently rubbing circles on it. "It's okay, shh." He says soothingly.
She nods at him dumbly, watching him with lazy eyes as he gets up and puts the washcloth in the laundry room, tossing it on the floor. He comes back and sits beside your open legs, he grabs your underwear, slipping them back over your legs, you lift your hips and let him cover your core completely.
"C'mere." He motions for you to move closer next to him, she gets up and weakly moves over, resting her head on his lap. Leon looks down at you, playing with your hair. "Feel better now?" He asks you simply, being gentle with his touches.
"Much better." you reply. And you think that you just might be.
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house is autistic i will accept no criticism
i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.
a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!
he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)
he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)
he stims constantly and he needs Sensations
he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc
he has a hard time making friends
he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)
he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)
he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)
he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)
#hate crimes md#house md#gregory house#james wilson#child abuse#wrote all of this first in a discord channel so if it looks absolutely unhinged that's why#also im autistic and if you disagree with me thats ableist#autistic greg house#my thoughts
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r we getting tlp3 anytime soon 😖😖😖
anon asked: Could you please give us a little tiny spoiler about tlp pt.3?🥹🫶🏻
hi first anon! no i dont think i can give u guys a date yet. im actually currently joining an architectural competition at uni so thats keeping me a bit busier than usual, but i am writing tlp 3 during my breaks so ... thats that. ANYWHO. i will make sure to update u guys when its ready to be out!
anyways, to second anon. a tiny spoiler under the cut proceed if u wanna.. 🤓
You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place.
Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment when the door opens.
It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon two days ago, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s a certain burn at the sides of your eyes that urges you to cry.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that anybody is not home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him, it did not exactly go as well as you’d like.
He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. But the to-go container from Chipotle at the island catches your attention, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it.
So Jungkook is home.
The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick?
You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on Jungkook’s macbook.
The tab that's left open shows an apartment listing website, and the following tabs beside it are some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to visit on the internet before when you were looking for a place yourself.
It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-bedroom and studio apartments.
Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight.
What does this mean?
“Oh, hey,”
The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand.
“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. There's a heavy feeling that sits in your heart when you look at his face – but most of all, it beats a little above normal.
But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you.
“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and you feel a sudden twinge inside that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, it felt intentional.
But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace.
If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the high chairs on the island and plug in his charger on his laptop.
Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh.. you just got off from your shift?”
“Uhm, yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit.
“Nah, got off a few hours ago.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Yeah.”
You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air.
It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing that you can bring up.
There's a certain kind of melancholy in the case.
“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself.
How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him.
Jungkook seems just as taken aback by this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his laptop. There’s a slight jerk in his movements when he glides his fingers across the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his PC wallpaper instead.
“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.”
Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?”
Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks.
“Yeah.”
So he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face, letting your gaze fall back on his laptop.
You give him a small smile.
“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”
Your hope you hide the way your heart completely breaks when you say the words.
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Ok I can't wait til after work I need to yap right NOW because this show will NOT leave my mind
Spoilers for Earthspark season 3 below
Ok so I'm not very good at articulating myself and my thoughts are all over the place so I'll just right it down in a messy list and probably expand on it later:
Breakdown talking about the Decepticons being his family and all that pisses me off. He always referring to Bee as his brother (which is something else I'll yap about in a bit) and yet he keeps betraying him!! Also not to mention how he's basically Aftermath's dad, he literally called him son last season, and after that episode he just stopped caring about him. Didn't even react to his death or even acknowledge him after episode 1 of season 2.
SKULLCRUNCHER!!! THATS ALL!!! I LOVE SKULLCRUNCHER SO MUCH!!! I WISH THEY'D GIVE HIM A VOICE!!!! THEY BULLIED HIM SM IN THIS SEASON 😭
Shockwave and Soundwave stand next to each other and interact. I win! I win!!!! WaveWave is real and canon!!! /J
The treatment of Starscream this season 😐
Actually back to point one, with the amount of "family" talk about Breakdown makes me curious on what happened between him and the Stunticons? I wonder if one of the reasons he wants to go back to Cybertron so bad is to reunite with them?
I love the reference to the iconic Shockwave cover from the Marvel comics
I WANT FAIREMAESTRO DEAD HES THE WORST VILLAIN THEY'VE EVER COME UP WITH PLEASE HE'S SO ANNOYING
Episode 2 was eh not the worst (that goes to episode 3, I fucking that that guy) but yeah. I kinda like the subtle hints they dropped with Izzy.
Also I wanted to see the Kaiju in the movie :(
I giggled at the mole bot staring at it's reflection as and tearing up
I'm not even going to talk Abt episode 3
EPISODE 4 IS GREAT BUT ALSO UGH SO MUCH I NEED TO SCREAM ABT
IM GOING TO GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY, WHY DID THEY GET RID OF THE CONS AFTER THIS?! Like I'm actually happy the Cons actually won this time and they get to go home which totally means we finally get to see Cybertron next season. But after only ONE episode with the Cons, and one with Frenzy and Laserbeak making an appearance, THEY JUST GET RID OF THEM????
I'm so glad that this episode starts off immediately with the Ark falling. They wasted no time they KNEW we were here for Prowl and they delivered.
Speaking of that bastard, he's such a prick to everyone who's not Optimus AND I LOVE HIM
Prowl racism arc too 😭 him calling the kids organics and then asking if they're OP's PETS???
His look of disgust when Mo corrects him? I love him
I wish they referenced other bots sighs and kicks a rock... BUT!!! I'm glad we at least got some news as to what's going on on Cybertron when Prowl was last there. We know that Decepticons are in control of the space bridges last he checked.
The Decepticons being more than ready to beat the shit out of Prowl as soon as Shockwave allowed it??? They have BEEF with that guy. You KNOW Prowl is the most hated Autobot lmao
#i will add more later#but oughghg#transformers#maccadam#earthspark#transformers earthspark#earthspark season 3 spoilers#tfe
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the best supernatural episodes
according to an autistic person with a special interest and the ability to make a list.
if youre really serious about supernatural spoilers then maybe stay away :)
None of the season one episodes made in on the list but I will give an honorable mention to S1 E2 Wendigo.
S2 E11 Playthings - A classic, creepy girls in a creepy hotel. Special call out to Sam getting SLOPPY
S2 E16 Roadkill - There's a ghost haunting the highway. the Boys help the spirit move on. This is an early example of monster empathy
S2 E18 Hollywood Babylon - Dean loves hollywood. I love dean. this episode makes me kick my feet like a little girl and i will not defend myself.
S2 EP 20 What Was Shall Never Be - all I have in my notes for this one is "Dean Djinn Dream" which was enough for me to remember the episode and get misty eyes. This is SEASON 2 my son will never know peace.
S3 E5 Bedtime Stories -I had to check the wiki on this one, I think i liked it cause it referenced classic fairytales
S3 Ep11 Mystery Spot - "HEAT OF THE MOMENT" RISE AND SHINE SAMMY!
S3 E13 Ghostfacers! - Im a Facer through and through
S3 E16 No Rest for the Wicked - S3 finale and the Boys are facing consequences! Classic Dean, Sam and Bobby episode.
S4 E1 Lazerus Rising - First Cas Episode. That handprint makes me feel things.
S4 E6 Yellow Fever - What if Dean had anxiety (The Eye of the Tiger blooper is also at the end of the episode which gives it bonus points.
S4 E17 Wishful Thinking - Make a wish? was it for your teddy bear to be diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder? Well thats what youre getting!
S4 E17 It's a Terrible Life - Sam ~ the sales rep. Dean ~ middle management.
S4 E18 The Monster at the End of the Book - There are books about Sam and Dean?! Written by this guy who loves self insert character? Surely the entire show isn't about to take a tone shift?
S5 E3 Free to be You and Me - Sam and Dean are fighting again, but this time Dean has a new heavenly boy toy to play with instead. (Cas has no rizz yet it's actually a little painful to watch)
S5 E5 Fallen Idol - Okay the Wax People episode is on here for one reason and one reason only. Paris Hilton.
S5 E7 The Curious Case of Dean Winchester - Old man Dean and old man Bobby. This is also the episode for HH Husk kinnies.
S5 E8 Changing Channels - Dr Sexy MD is that you?!
S5 E9 The Real Ghostbuster - *in a grizzly voice* "I'm Dean Winchester, this is my brother Sam. Have you experienced anything strange?" "Dude that was so good! Now we can go solve the puzzle" "Man you're breaking the immersion!"
S5 E10 Abandon All Hope - This is here for Crowley's first appearance and not because the end will make you cry.
S5 E12 Swap Meat - "uh... its Audi Nos". Freaky Friday starring Sam Winchester! An angsty teen and April Kepner from Grey/Sloan Memorial Hospital.
S5 E16 Dark Side of the Moon - The Boys lives flash before their eyes. Dean is pissed forever about Sams.
S5 E19 Hammer of the Gods - this is for all my pagans out there!
S6 E4 A Weekend at Bobby's - What do you think this episodes about idjit.
S6 E15 The French Mistake - “For whatever reason, our life is a TV show.” “Why?” “I don't know.” “No, seriously. Why? Why would anybody want to watch our lives?”
S7 E4 Defending your Life - consequences? for fucking people over? how about you stand trial.
S7 E20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo - The self insert character made for us :) Luv u 4ever Charlie XD
S8 E4 Bitten - found footage will always scare. this one reminds me that this show started as a psuedo horror.
S8 E8 hunteri heroci - Cas tries his hand at being a hunter
S8 E12 As Time Goes By - FINALLY THEY ARE CARVING TRAPS INTO BULLETS
S8 E17 Goodbye Stranger - verbatim here are my notes for this episode "Cas chooses Dean, but the way he handles Meg... Fuck Naomi"
S8 E18 Clip Show - If you only want to watch just one episode of Supernatural this should be it. It's not actually a clip show, theres a broment, bonding time with favorite characters and crazy plots that only supernatural could get away with.
S9 E5 Dog Dean Afternoon - Dean is finally a dog person
S9 E11 First Born - Another bro fight leads to shipping <3 SamxCas + DeanxCrowley <3
S9 E15 #thinman - the slender episode feat. GHOSTFACERS. You come away from this episode thinking "supernatural is so fucking gay why wont the boys kiss"
S9 E21 King of the Damned - my favorite crowley era change my mind. Also the way the Boys interrogate an angel is so funny
S10 E5 Fan Fiction - I would unironically fuck w a supernatural musical and if helluva/hazbin taught me anything the rest of you would too
S10 E6 Ask Jeeves - The Clue episode. (Pay attention to the improvised weapons Dean chooses. It brings me joy)
S10 E9 The Things we Left Behind - Cas is suffering a midlife crisis and his besties are there to help him repair his relationship with his daughter. Funnily enough, Crowley is also getting some family bonding in.
Okay, I'm all caught up on my list. Should I have stayed up late transcribing this with an 8am class tommarow?
Probably not but it did bring me great joy. Tell me your favorite episode! I'll continue to add to my list as I continue my rewatch :)
#supernatural#destiel#castiel#dean winchester#sam winchester#crowley#list#tumblr recommendations#episodes#im bad at tags#sam and dean#favorite
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HOMESICK:
Sam and Colby x Reader
Tags: Fluff. Just you missing the homies.
When you told people you missed your friends, that was an understatement. You didn’t just miss them, you CRAVED them. You curse at yourself for getting talked into moving by your parents. You should have just stayed in California with Sam and Colby instead of moving to the east coast. The only reason you did it was because of your parents divorce and your mom wanting a fresh new start but she didn’t want to do it alone. You just couldn’t tell her no.
Nothing was the same. The people were different. The air was different. The WEATHER was different. You hated it. You lay in your bed thinking about your friends and what they were doing without you. You think about how many investigations they are going on without you or if they even thought about you anymore. Its been a month and they have yet to call you since you left. You even stalk their youtube channel to watch all the fun they are having.
Eventually you can’t take it anymore. You needed to hear at least SOMEONES voice. You go into your contacts and call Sam. It rings a few times before he answers groggy from sleep.
“Y/N?” He sounds confused at first but when you don’t say anything, he speaks again.
“Y/N? Are you okay?” Tears roll down your eyes and you try not to slip up that your crying but the facade breaks the minute you speak.
“I miss you guys.” You stifle a cry as you wait for Sam to reply.
“We miss you too. So much. It hasn’t been the same without you.” He sighs and his end goes silent.
“I’m sorry I woke you up, I’ve just been thinking a lot and well, you can see how thats going.” You let out a small laugh. Sam’s end is still quiet before you hear gentle snores on the line. He fell asleep.
“Goodnight Sammy.” Tears well up into your eyes again after hanging up the phone. He couldn’t even hold a conversation with you and you start to spiral.
Call Colby
You go back into your contact list and press Colby’s name. It rings twice before his warm voice rings your ears.
“Y/N! Hey.” He seemed alot more chipper than Sam did on the phone and you can practically hear the smile on his face.
“How are you?” He asks. Your emotional state is broken. You miss him. You miss Sam. You miss home. When you don’t answer right away, he speaks again.
“Y/N?”
“I’m…. I’m okay.” You lie and he sees through you right away.
“No, you’re not. Why are you crying? Talk to me. What’s up.” You break. Its been so long since someone has asked you if you were okay. You sob into the phone.
“I-I miss you guys so much. I don’t even know why i moved out here. Theres nothing to do, Nobody I know, the weather sucks, the air is different and I just want to come home. I want to be with you and Sam. I want to go investigating and have movie nights and just be… there like before.” You were lost. You wanted him to know how much you missed him.
“I should have never moved here. I… I’m going crazy Colby.”
“Hey, its okay. We miss you so much too. It’s been so different here without you. Its been lonely to say the least but… we miss you. I miss you.” Colby goes from being happy and smiley to a slightly more serious tone.
“I-I tried calling Sam and he fell asleep on me.” You sniffle.
“He’s been sick all week. He’s probably high on cold medicine. He definitely misses you… wouldn’t stop talking about you after you left.” you bring your knees into your chest and the two of you sit in silence.
“Why didn’t you guys call? Or text? Something?” You didn’t know if you wanted to hear the answer to these questions but classic Colby turns them back on you.
“The same reason you didn’t call or text us. We have all been busy trying to do our own thing. I’m sure you have been busy adjusting to your new life and we have been trying to adjust with you gone.”
“I don’t want to be here anymore, Colbs” You almost whisper the words. If Colby was paying enough attention, he could barely hear it but after a minute or two, his voice rings into your ears.
“Then come home.”
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😐💀Longish Post regarding Vivziepops Stans (POC Woman Speaks up)
TW: The following post mentions serious topics: S*icide, bullying, racism, and other topics, viewer discretion is advised (and No I do not know whom originally sat here and typed this post I don't want to know)
So I saw this image floating around and I as a Bisexual biracial Woman of color wanted to speak up about this because if y'all think it's hilarious or cool to say dumb shit on the Internet and not expect to get called out for your crap by reasonable people that you yourself put yourself out there for then your dead wrong.
Let's take a look amigos
Let's start from the beginning
This person who's an obvious biased boot licker who deliberately put themselves out there on the Internet ON PURPOSE said all of This!
Here's some things I completely disagree with because in their own words:
"You probably heard over and over again that Viv is a terrible person who's toxic that made all kinds of terrible things in the past but I assure you, (even if it's true) these stories are all "completely fake" and "made up" and that Viv is "flawed" and makes mistakes like all of us and that she "doesn't deserve" the "hate" and "bad faith" comments"
"I have decided to "fund" the "StopVivziepophate" train because poor ol Viv is sweet and innocent and we as fandom must stick it to these "critics" and express to vivziepop our eternal love and "actively convince" people (without any proof btw) that Vivziepop has done absolutely "nothing wrong" at all and we must defend her to the ends of the Earth because I said so and thats the Truth. You guys are liars and bigots and racist and are anti progressive"
Vivziepop has proved Time and Time again that she's a deliberately toxic shitty ass dumbass of person and has gotten much WORSE over the years! That is a FACT! She HAS made shitty, questionable, nasty things in her past artworks depicting minors, Nazi shit, racist shit and other stuff! This is a FACT and can be proven!
These Critical people on the Internet are All people who Used to LOOK UP to Viv because she was inspirational, saw right through her bullshit, and decided to call her out For said bullshit that she inflicted on herself especially nowadays seemingly on the daily. These Critical people who used to look up to Viv often back up their claims using pictures and evidence to Prove what they say! Vivziepop is a person who has proven that she is ass backwards on an absolute altitude of ways through thick and thin.
Viv refuses to back up her claims, do basic research on complicated topics regarding many things, weaponizes her fanbase to silence Anyone and Everyone regardless of who they are or what they identify as who speaks up or validly critiques her foolishness, never improves on herself as a person and chooses to carry herself in a negative way that affects her overall character and the people around her, bullies or judges anyone who chooses a different path, didn't call out her cult of a fanbase out for bullying Shay into suicide, and the list goes on.
What are you Stans going to prove huh? That we as a critical are right? There's an abundance of evidence against Viv yet your going to sit here and make a post like this?
Please tell me what you said is Bait!
Viv absolutely deserves EVERYTHING that people throw at her ESPECIALLY regarding the fact that Shay is no longer with us because Vivziepops cult of a fanbase brutally bullied Shay into s*icide over a fictional ship that these hypocritical Stans supported Before their new ship with Alastor came out with a different character
And Viv also absolutely deserves to be criticized for hiring a disgusting person with a r*pe fetish who's NOT a s*xual assault victim at All who also fetishizes r*pe and let this person illustrate and write their own sick fantasies into HER SHOW which she actively supported and still supports!
She's Shit All Around!
lastly...
"Most" of the "hate" comes from the "fact" that she's both *Checks notes* 🧐 "inserts identity politics here"
"Woman and Hispanic" ahh yes who Could've thought that poor ol Viv was being targeted simply because of her identity! Why as if I didn't hear that BS before as a fucking POC woman myself
People are "totally not" validly criticizing her for actual shit she does to herself on purpose
We critics are "totally" all just "making up" shit regardless of clear as day evidence, articles, or any picture evidence we have and are "totally jealous" over her success
We critics totally dunk on Viv because we're magically all racist, bigots, or istaphobes even though we're of varying backgrounds and identities and don't dunk on her for the bullshit you pulled out your ass because you decided to do what some far left thinking people would do. Blame the entire world for X, Y, Z using their identity as a shield even though vivziepop herself got caught! BY HER OWN POLITICAL PARTY which is the left.
Let me bring up a successful Black YouTuber who's indie for Black History Month whom I support and followed for years and bought his comics! Since you wanna blame the world for people criticizing Viv for her identity, I've decided to use an excellent example! He may not be a woman but he's Black so... :D let's begin
You wanna know who's Black and made millions of dollars because of his comics and is successful? Youngrippa59! Yes the Black Libertarian himself who made the Rippaverse, ISOM, and ALPHA CORE and made millions of dollars in short periods of time who also helped successfully dominated the comic book industry when it was dying! He's Not a conservative btw!
Heres one of his most recent successful projects ALPHACORE
Look at this! A Black person made this! He's successful! He didn't use his race as a shield. He ain't Viv but doesn't have to be! That's the beauty of him because he doesn't have to be the richest, or the most popular!
His message to everyone! Mr. Rippa also known as Eric July is one of my biggest inspirations to this day and this is why! People who were on the far left decided to attack him (it's been proven btw) but y'all say your for "diversity" and "inclusion" but when a black person becomes successful now it's an issue???
I Can't imagine what will fly outta your mouths when I become successful with my own shows behind the scenes... As diverse as I am as a biracial, bisexual, goth, God damn X, Y, Z, I Don't pander, I observe what everyone wants through multiple people!
Now,
Vivziepop is a woman who's a biracial Hispanic! I am ALSO a woman who's a biracial Hispanic
As a biracial Hispanic I'm more Puerto Rican looking IRL. Viv is a biracial Salvadoran Hispanic but looks more "white" because maybe she has more European family members. My family is made up of mainly Puerto Ricans on both sides of the family some European. I have dark eyes and dark naturally curly hair too. Few have said I can pass as "Indigenous" because of my features and tanned skin. Regardless my point still stands! I don't actively use my identity as a shield and neither should you!
I don't want to know who sat here and typed up that post! I as a woman of color of the brown community am still sick of this! Like who's saying they hate Viv because she's Hispanic? Huh? Who? Who's dunking on her for simply being a woman too???
Prove to me by providing solid concrete evidence by pictures or tweets or something else actually showing me people are dunking on Viv because she's both "Woman/Hispanic"! Well I tell you now that that shit Doesn't happen and if it does, it's a VERY SMALL minority that are saying shit for bait reasons or to be an asshole on purpose to get a reaction. The fact this person decided to say "Most hate comes from her race and being a woman" is BS because they cant even take the time to dig up evidence of this to prove it!
Show don't tell not TELL DONT SHOW goddamnit!
Legit you wanna play the race x woman card so badly then BACK IT UP with actual evidence or someone like me with more than two functioning brain cells will call you out.
I'm sorry but I agree with the critics on this one because they're not wrong for calling Viv out!
#I Stand With Shay#justice for shay#end suicide#anti vivziepop#vivziepop critical#vivziepop#vivziepop criticism#vivienne medrano#vivzmind#vivzipop critical#anti helluva boss#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel critique#toxic fans#toxic fandom#anti hazbin hotel#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique#helluva critical
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Guys, did you know that alters still and will form/split from little T's and Micro T's? Well now you do!
Whenever you are living your life, doing your day, with no recurrence of childhood trauma for a good while.. but you still seem to have new peeps? Yet you don't know why?? Fret not as i tell you some, although not an extensive list of reasons such as;
The Lil' T, things that aren't as severe as the Big OG Trauma but still enough to waver you:
Financial issues
Relationship conflicts (hostility, or inconsistent emotional support)
Having debilitating/chronic health issues (be it physical or mental)
Neglect, victim of harrasment/bullying, invalidation and etc (in mild forms, clarification on below)
The Micro T, that are capable to annoy you like a fly, though you still have a limit to these type of T's:
Working a job with high demands, or a stressful environment
Chasing a deadline (and not just this once)
Bad triggers
Involved in arguments often (aha, i know you still think about it)
Now you're asking, "what should i do then, Jade?" and because you need some prompts (tips), here you go:
Relaxation techniques: when you feel like you're going to explode (or something lit up the fuse recently) then its logical to blow the fire out before it can actually explode. Things like having a warm shower, taking care of yourself, or some time off to wind down for a moment will help.
Regulating feelings: antsy? mad? upset? or "dshsdfhgjfds"? Instead of shoving the feelings away, please let yourself feel it, acknowledge that you are currently feeling and understand why it happened, what's the cause, talk it out to someone to feel better but yelling inside or writing in the private server also works.
Outlets: If you feel like writing down isn't enough/helpful, then maybe doing art, crushing some empty cans, or going to your trusty support group will do just fine.
Therapy: got money but not people? Do yourself a favor and try it, you'll learn lots of coping mechanisms, plus you'll have support and someone to talk to so thats a big win.
Mindset: Having an accepting and self-supporting thoughts are way better than devaluing and adding extra blames and faults as it perpetuates the cycle of stress and pressure, so why not go easy on yourself from now on?
I know you might think that its not severe enough, its not bad enough, but from now one you have to think differently, no matter how big or small, it is still stress, and when stress builds up all those things happen. (to top it off with other issues such as bad internal communication and brain fog) And it make sense because the severe ones are enough to form new peeps, same goes for the tiny ones but are consistent, okay?
I personally struggle with this LOTS even if traumas from the past aren't happening again yet i still have subsystems and all, and after a good while of practicing, it now barely happens. Hope this is also helpful for you guys since the previous post about dissociation was a hit!!! Click here to see it
Edit: it came to my attention that i forgot to clarify that yes, harassment, bullying and etc as it’s own severe form and can be classified as the OG Trauma, though there are minor forms especially in bullying where it’s extents from calling names and other stuffs that aren’t as harmful in a physical form.
- j
#did#did community#actually did#did system#dissociative identity disorder#did osdd#plural#system stuff#sysblr#Jeducates
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Okay for context look at this first and the link inside it^^^
Then this was part two here of the video
And now imma rant:
STOP THE HETERONORMATIVITY AND CONSERVATIVE ASS VIEW OF HOW FAMILIES FUNCTION
Thats point one I’m not elaborating on that one again but fr what coparent role entails differs family to family so without recognising that every single point you make abt what we should see happening is moot and a title being “reserved by Eddie” is a bullshit concept so that’s just getting ignored before I rant abt it again
But for real she’s like I think people don’t understand what coparenting is- brother in Christ the hypocrisy like coparenting plain and simple is two or more people parenting a child together regardless of romantic status
So let me ask you parenting itself? Is it about financial contribution or the shit on your list? Because
1. No it goes beyond that it’s being there for your kid it’s making decisions for your kid it’s helping them it’s childcare it’s being there for the hard stuff it’s doing annoying tasks, supporting the other parents decisions and a bunch of stuff that go beyond financial contribution or whatever
And this is stuff we’ve seen buck do such as their heart to hearts, being a safe space for him, making decisions abt where he should stay while Eddie was in the hospital, preparing food for his class, the implications of that one Eddie technophobia scene where Chris asks to go to buck and Eddie does a face implying that buck COULD agree but Eddie seeks him to back him up, and a billion other things that both @lenaboskow and @warpedpuppeteer said
Like there is also the debate of instrumental vs expressive role but that’s gonnna get me carried away in a sociology lesson but lemme explain briefly- instrumental role is monetary contribution it’s discipline it’s making the decisions for the child and family whereas expressive role is physical and emotional care of the child and their socialisation and other responsibilities
It makes sense that since buck isn’t legally a parent to Chris he leans more on the expressive role but also plenty of parents who are biological or legally parents of their kids will still take an expressive role and their partner will take an instrumental role like it’s just down to personal preference really even if it’s more common now for the roles to be split equally, because originally it was from the idea that women should be in the expressive role and men in the instrumental but for obvious reasons more people split or invert the roles nowadays but again it’s down to preference
2. THIS IS A TV SHOW not everything will be explicitly stated until it comes up
Chris hasn’t had a medical thing or an emergency or allergy thing yet so why would those things have come up as buck knowing them
Butttt it’s a safe assumption to say he does because not only are they firefighters and know the risks and how important medical history is but also because in canon Eddie pestered some poor mom with a bunch of info FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY CHRIS WAS GOING TO so you’re telling me the guy who cares for Chris constantly isn’t gonna know the necessary info???? Where is the logic
3. By that logic of oh have we seen this or have we seen that then Athena, Bobby, Michael, henren, madney and even Eddie HIMSELF are apparently not parents either cos all of them have a few things on that list that aren’t explicitly stated or even implied
4. it’s an undisputed fact that Bobby is a dad to buck or Maddie was a mom to buck or bobby a dad to may
And because I can see the “father figure vs dad” defence a mile away let’s go with most relevantly the last two points
Maddie raised buck plain and simple- she was also a teenager so did she financially contribute did she know his past doctors did she make decisions abt where he should go to school etc etc? No because raising someone goes beyond that
Bobby is May’s dad- does she call him dad regularly? No she’s done it once and it was quite late into it but she considered him a dad before that
And also he came into her life when she was older than Chris so again moot point
Does he make decisions abt her or financially contribute? No
In fact a lot of the parenting moments for him in relation to her or Harry has been similar circumstances to buck and Chris
I’m gonna shut up now but like I beg some of y’all to think before you speak because the teeny tiny boxes y’all try to shove stuff into is so weird
Like this stuff is legit canon
On a final note I wanna give a heartbreaking reminder that the decision to have buck jump back into the water eventhough it had practically no chance of survival was based on asking one of the crew (directors?) if it was their kid would they jump and they said they would without hesitation so that’s why they had buck jump in without hesitation (tehe guys I love giving you guys heartbreaking reminders🤭🤭🤭)
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Heres 25 fics I really wanna write but havent gotten around to yet
For those that wanna know before reading the list, the fandoms include are
Marvel, Spider-Man, Loki, DCU, Batman, Justice League, Pokemon, Shazam/Captain Marvel, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtels (The Last Ronin), Danny Phantom, Sonic the Hedgehog, Voltron, Gravity Falls, Over The Garden Wall, RWBY, Camp Camp, Rise Of The Guardiens, Star Wars (Rebels), Miraculos Ladybug and Chat Nori, Ninjago, How to Train Your Dragon, Final Space, My Hero Academia.
Thats one long list of fandoms-
I swear its not a big ass crossover fic with all these fandoms.
The rest of the Wiz! Fics. Though one of them is almost done
Winter dad fic. Peter is dealing, Bucky dosent remember him, but the solder definetly does.
Parksborn fic post NWH. Peter and Harry meet at collage and become roommates (this was canon for like a day lol) Harry has issues, Peter has more.
Parent Loki and Son Jack frost. I love the concept and already have some plot planned out
Billy Batson has somehow been the child host of Whiz radio for about 70 years
The Last Ronin Time Travel fic
Dadow time travel fic. A few fics continuing my first dadow fic starting with Silver in the future and present, and later on future shadow goes to the past. Its a lit if feels
Sonic was raised by egg man. No one knows this
5 times Sonic confused people by acting like tails dad, and the the on time tails suprised them by acting like his son
Babysitter James. Basically, the geovani is Ash's dad theory + What if team rocket are juat there to look after Ash theory. He takes him in, James becomes one of the best in team rocket, and as a sign of trust, he makes him be his newborns babysitter.
Back to Jack Frost, A fic following his time alone and time people he meet
Dead On Main fic were Jason despretly tries to keep his ghost boyfriend away from his family
Rosegarden Fic where Ruby and Oscar are childhood summer friends who lost contact.
Ezra time travel fic because Im obssesed with them
Skybridge fic taking place during Twin Suns because Im also obsesed with those fics
Dadvid fic. David Adopts Max and the 2 of them are trying to find a new normal
Pinecone lost in the woods fic.
MLB fix-It. Cat becomes a night time vigilante as a way to deal with the stress, lower class people become more fond of him.
Klance fic. Congratulations, you got through 15 fics before Klance appeared. Ex's au, Lance dose hate Keith foe a reason, they used to date. No one knows about this and think their just being stupid
Httyd fic where toothless wasnt discoverd in the first movie.
Final Space fic were Little Cato deals with the trauma if spending so many years alone.
Ninjago Kai fic for the Time he spent alone. I have talked about this before I think
RodyDeku reunion fic.
Nightguard Denki au. A Fnaf x Mha fic
Rai: The Phantom Theif of hero society. My TodoKami fic I have been trying to write since 2022
Thats the List. If your curiouse about any of these or just wanna bug me into finally writing them, let me know in my ask box.
#mcu#spiderman#dcu#batman#the justice league#danny phantom#sonic the hedgehog#voltron#gravity falls#over the garden wall#rwby#camp camp#rise of the guardians#star wars#starwars rebels#ninjago#how to train your dragon#final space#my hero academia#tmnt the last ronin#fic ideas#fan fiction#fanfic#fanfic writers#ao3#wanna write#ask me anything#this list is so long#like wtf#If I ever write all of these then ask me if I'm ok
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we've been seeing transramcoa shit and we need to make a public vent about it so people who identify as transramcoa or are considering it won't.
major tw. this goes into detail about csa, deeply.
ok so, im the host. i never knew i went through ramcoa until about a couple years ago, even with clues and shit. i only found out after i met someone else who did and i could relate to their story. so i did research on ramcoa and yep, i fit it in just about every way possible. i literally checked off every box on some list of signs youre a ramcoa survivor. then i realized... i had been programmed for whatever reaction the handler wanted, whatever they wanted me to do, i felt like i was a game and they were the player. i was always told "youre so naive and dumb" and finding out i was a ramcoa survivor made me feel even more naive and dumb. like i was to blame. i felt like if i wasnt so naive and dumb, i wouldnt have been programmed. and the more i found out about ramcoa, the more i discovered the programmed alters. and thats when the persecutory voice in my head got worse. i felt like i was faking ramcoa, faking DID and faking trauma entirely. i felt like i wanted it to be cool or as an excuse for me being "born broken and worthless" with all my trauma responses i didnt even remember the trauma to have. my mental health tanked severely. i was covered in cuts, suicidal, attempted many times, and was reaching out for validation in places i shouldnt have. i drove friends away who couldnt deal with my constant heavy venting. i felt like i was faking or had too much baggage to deserve a friend. i felt like i deserved ramcoa when i believed it happened to me. i became more insecure about my body (this went with the denial- id think i was too ugly to be sex trafficked and i thought i made it all up to be "cool" and "not a virgin" since the body is disabled and cant really have sex) and more hypersexual than ever. when i found out i survived ramcoa, i either felt like it didn't really happen to me and like i was faking or i deserved it when i thought it happened. most of the time i thought it didnt, because your brain doesnt want you to know you have that trauma especially if you have DID. your brain doesnt even want you to know you have DID. if you are a real ramcoa survivor you will feel severe denial it happened and... broken for no reason. like you never went through anything severe so why are you this way? then you deal with the realization it happened and you feel used, dirty, dumb, like a game or a robot, not a real human. trust me, you dont want to be a ramcoa survivor. is that not enough for you? well heres more on how the sex trafficking affected my body and relationships...
i was hypersexual ever since i can remember. i was a three year old child and acting out sexual touching with dolls and imaginary friends. i was only three years old and had shame that i did it, even though nobody knew i did it. i was so developmentally disabled i couldnt put real sentences together or communicate, yet i felt shame for sexually touching dolls and imaginary friends. living my life not knowing i was sexually abused and asked how i discovered my sexuality, i answered with "ive always liked girls sexually ever since i could remember" and had to have it pointed out to me thats not normal and its a sign of sexual abuse. i always thought it was a normal kid thing to be sexual that little. wanting answers as to who violated me when i was so little, i asked the people who lived with me at the time who answered with "maybe it was your step grandfather. you were never alone alone with him so it had to have been brief touches that were a second" when im alone in almost all my memories from when i was little. after getting told "well its maaayyybe him but it cooouuuld be your cousin since she sexually abused you when you were older" and relying completely on external validation to validate what was on my inside, i flip flopped around with it and some people thought my inconsistency about trauma was me lying when i truly didnt know what happened. i lost friends and was doubted by people when i was desperately seeking validation. now to what it did to my body...
i have bladder issues from being sexually touched causing me to have utis. i have uti like pain almost every time i pee. ive been raped with plastic (almost sharp) objects and feel sharp pains in my somatic flashbacks to being raped. i will literally be doing nothing and boom, i feel a sharp pain down there. my vagina rejects tampons or really anything that goes inside it. i feel like someone stuck something up my ass every time i get done taking a shit. i have sudden nausea that doesnt feel like it belongs to me out of nowhere. i have been fucked so much my body is fucked up too. i want hugs, i love affection and it makes me feel important and safe, but i feel like my body is too violated to be loved and i get anyone who touches me dirty and they should feel ashamed for hugging me and i should feel ashamed for letting them.
you don't want this severe mental pain. you dont wanna be like me. you don't want this life. and if you do, you're fucking sick. fuck you.
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OKAY TRACKLIST BREAKDOWN!!!!
so i have now had breakfast and coffee and my brain is on and FUNCTIONING lets get into this
putting a break here incase youre scrolling and dont wanna read all of this lol
so first things first i was watching tiktok and people were making a big deal about how its split up into sides similarly to midnights now i do believe that taylor posted the back cover of the vinyl and that the cd will be different but i could be wrong. even if it is split up like this on purpose on every physical copy this does mean that it is a two LP album instead of one like midnights
one vinyl (both sides) can hold up to 44 minutes of music on it so we can roughly estimate that the full album will be about an hour and a half long now if each side is 22 minutes long each track on side a, b and c should be about (if each song is in equal length) 5 and a half minutes long. side d has 5 songs on it so some of those might be short to fit in the manuscript
i have also seen people compare this back cover to the back cover of lover which is absolutely breaking my heart and im sure thats not gonna be the last lover comparison i see about this album
okay so lets dive into this track by track
SIDE A
track one: Fortnight (feat Post Malone)
okay so first of all this is obviously not a reference to fortnite the video game but i think all of those jokes are funny as hell. the fortnight shes talking about here is a reference to the measurement of time as seen down below google states that fortnight is a british term for two weeks.
according to wikipedia fortnight is derived from the old english term fēowertiene niht, meaning "fourteen nights".
now onto post malone i actually listen to some of his music from time to time. he mostly does do rap but his most recent album austin (which is coincidentally also taylors brothers name, but is also post malones real name) is listed on google as alternative rock, indie pop and synth-pop. so im unsure of what vibe post will bring to the track. i think its also surprising she placed one of the two collabs as the opening track. i think the vibe for this track will probably be either a story about what happened in a certain two week period or about what is going to happen in two weeks from the songs time standpoint (if that makes sense lol)
track two: The Tortured Poets Department
A TITLE TRACK!!!! now obviously we dont know much about the album yet so we cant really try and figure out what the title track will be about so im just gonna do a little yippee for having a title track
track three: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
this is a Whole fucking title good lord the only thing that really comes to mind when i think of this title is the lyric in better than revenge where she says “soon shes gonna find stealing other peoples toys on the playground wont make you many friends” which is if im not forgetting anything the only lyric as of now where she’s referred to being someones partner as someones “toy” but that lyric itself is a metaphor for relationships being playing on a playground. this will probably be a sad or angry song about how her ‘boy’ goes around breaking/hurting his favorite ‘toy’ aka taylor
track four: Down Bad
okay now down bad if you dont know is a slang term to describe how badly you have fallen for someone (mostly used in a more sexual nature in my experience than romantic) so this song will probably be about how badly she is for the love interest of the song
SIDE B
track five: So Long, London
alright new track five lets go! so this is obviously seeming to be a reference to track 11 on lover, london boy. now like taylor said when she announced it this album has been a secret for two years so we dont know when these songs were written or who they are about but i feel like it is safe to say this song and most of the other will be about said london boy [i personally do not care who a song is about and it is not taylors job to tell us who a song is about and that isnt the point of her music, but i will be commenting on the joe breakup bc that seems to be a large idea of this album so far] i can see this probably being about the break up and possibly sampling some music from london boy like she did with cornelia street and youre losing me
track six: But Daddy I Love Him
okay so the first thing i thought of when i read this track title is the scene from the little mermaid where ariel is fighting with her dad over the eric statue and im gonna be honest i dont remember the plot points in order of this movie BUT i do remember when taylor dressed up as ariel for her new years party in 2019. so given what we know this will probably be a song about maybe her fighting/arguing with her dad over how much she loves the love interest of the song regardless of who he is/how he treats her
track seven: Fresh Out The Slammer
okay so im not sure what this song will be about bc i dont think taylor has ever been to jail before so it would probably be metaphorical type of “im back bitches” type of song im assuming this might be a bass heavy maybe more rock leaning song and if it is a “im back bitches” it might be about the amount of time she was single for with the ‘slammer’ being her old relationship
track eight: Florida!!! (feat Florence and the Machine)
alright so as we all know this album has been in the works at least for two years but we dont know when each song was written so take this with a grain of salt but the tampa eras tour shows were the first shows after the news of the joe breakup dropped. so this song might be about her feelings during those shows. for those that want to know these were the surprise songs for the tampa shows in order.
night one: speak now and treacherous
night two: the great war and youre on your own kid
night three: mad woman and mean
SIDE C
track nine: Guilty as Sin?
okay so my main curiosity about this track is the question mark in the title because guilty as sin isnt much of a thought provoking title to me but that fact that its a question is interesting. the current vibes im getting are that this might be a more sexy song? but i have no idea here
track ten: Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
okay so THIS is giving big taunting energy like “aww who would ever be afraid of little ol me 🥺 youre afraid of me?” which im Hoping thats what the vibes are bc that would HIT but i can also see it being completely different as well
track eleven: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
oh my GOD this one sounds like its gonna be sad. so this is obviously a reference to the common seen online phrase “i can/could fix him” which as ive seen is normally used towards people who are attracted to hot fictional characters that usually have a lot of emotional baggage or are villains (i saw it a lot when ballad of songbirds and snakes came out about young snow) so this song will probably be about her promising that she Can fix him and really will despite ‘him’ being broken or maybe even possibly a bad partner
track twelve: loml
so i saw and rb a post earlier about how its very interesting that this is already an acronym which i completely agree with because taylor knows we are no strangers to turning her song titles into acronyms. so loml does usually mean love of my life but i think because its already an acronym it might be something different (i saw someone earlier say it might be loss of my life instead of love)
SIDE D
track thirteen: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
this one i think will kill me personally. i think this one will probably be about her continuing to go on with life (and possibly the eras tour) post joe break up i think this one will either be a sad song or a light beat ‘picking myself up on my feet’ song
track fourteen: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
this has so many implications but personally i think the interpretation shes gonna use for this song will be about how the said man is small emotionally and just as a person (i doubt she will talk about physical shortness in height or other areas)
track fifteen: The Alchemy
now im gonna be so real here i have no idea what this one will be about google says that alchemy is an older version of chemistry so maybe she will talk about the chemistry or alchemy she has in her relationships?
track sixteen: Clara Bow
alright Clara Bow! okay so i dont know much about old hollywood so i am NOT the person to deep dive into what this song will be about but all i do know about her is that she was The “It” girl of the silent film era so im assuming this song will probably be like the lucky one and talk about the rise to stardom and being the Biggest Star Of The Time
track seventeen(bonus track): The Manuscript
alright so after looking at the definition of a manuscript this is the PERFECT bonus track?!!?!?! so a manuscript is normally a piece of work that is written or typed out but isnt officially published which is just genius for having it be a bonus track that probably wont be on streaming (if not for a long time) i have no idea what itll be about but i love that mastermind
that’s pretty much all of my thoughts as of currently PLEASE let me know what yall think and what theories yall have for this album i am SO excited for april 19th 💕
#my posts 💕#taylor swift#swiftie#swifties#taylor swift theories#clowning 🤡#ttpd#the tortured poets department
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