#thank god for my psychiatrist
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briarmae · 4 months ago
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So, I have autism. One aspect of autism and/ or adhd is RSD, or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It's used to describe a type of emotional disregulation.
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I accidentally made a relatively popular post (for me). (It currently has 2,900 notes. My next most popular post has 100.) 2,900 notes, and of them, only about 12 people who responded were negative and/ or confused. I was CONSUMED with feelings of anger, anxiety, rejection, and sadness about those 12 people. 12 out of 2900.
RSD is ridiculous.
But my psychiatrist added a new antidepressant, and suddenly those feelings are blunted, and I can let go of things that cause me anxiety. But I can still experience joy, etc. It's like... my emotions are less overwhelming, but I can still feel them? I hope I'm describing it well enough.
Is this how *normal people feel?
(*Normal, of course, is relative. In this case, it refers to people who are neurotypical and/ or do not suffer from mental illness.)
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roetrolls · 2 months ago
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Sigh. I wanna do creative stuff but I really drained myself today
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triglycercule · 3 months ago
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killer should know about dumb video game meta stuff ike i-frames and animation cancels and critting amd breaking out of bounds and use it to his advantage in fights. maybe he learned it from chara in something new as a silly little thing to try out because theyre already teaching him all this bullshit on killing so whos to say a video game character cant learn a player's cheats?? he's already interacted and collaborated with a player before i think its fair he knows tricks on how to cheat undertale's fighting system
everything's all fine and dandy in a fight against killer (no it isn't) until you see him glitching around and somehow phasing through your attacks. he looks ridiculous but it gets the job done
#i have no idea if any of these mechanics are actually IN undertale#theyre just some ones i came up with in games i play#i mean if they don't exist in the ut fighting just like. pretend they do idk????#i just think it would be cool if killer could do that. he fights dirty and when i mean dirty i mean totally cheating#SANS UNDERTALE CHEATS WHY CANT HE!!!! but he gets to cheat in a more game breaking way#when you fight killer there is no YOUR turn and HIS turn its ALWAYS his turn. and youre just helplessly attacking during it#guys in this one im not talking about meta awareness im talking about loser META strats. most effective tactics available#stage 4 chara wins ahh acting like a goddamn sweaty gamer. because what am i supposed to interpret with chara wins????#chara wins means NOTHING to me??? i can only assume that it means killer either acts like chara or fully listens to whatever chara wans#boo boo boring im a VIDEO GAME PLAYER not a goddamn psychiatrist. i will always choose the more fun option#killer becoming like chara/player is infinitely more cool than him and all the psychological stuff going on in stage 4 to b obeying orders#yeahhhh like sure there probably IS a bunch of crazy stuff in stage 4 related to psychology but also#unga booga character act like YOU cool idea. besides stage 4 is almost never elaborated on#so to me that's up to personal interpretation. everything is personal interpretation if not brought up#i say as i make the most ridiculous unfathomable headcanons for the mtt just because the topics aren't mentioned#I HAVE FREE WILL I HAVE FREE WILL MY MIND HAS FREEDOM I CAN POST ANYTHING I THINK ABOUT#ok thank god because i hate having to worry about my posts#ok i dont have anything left to say about this hc so im bringing up SOMETHING NEW (haha)#killer reminds me of I'm High!!! by maretu. except replace all mentions of a girl with w a person for chara#and somehow manage to work around the mentions of love and romance. because i really really dont wanna make killer into a kid diddler#but aside from the mentions of love and specific gende??? i think it fits!!#ugh so many songs fit killer ITS NOT FAIR!!!! i can NEVER find songs for horror.... am i not looking hard enough ☹️☹️☹️#im hard#actually i found a song that fits horror lets GOOOO maretu coming in clutch with NAMIDA ‼️‼️#dokuhaku does too :3 maretu my glorious king how many great songs of yours fit the murder time trio#killer sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#tricule hc
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morrigan-sims · 1 year ago
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Been flying through making poses today, and here's one of my favorites so far...
(if you're thinking "Morri, is that another "suitor tucking Fallon's hair behind her ear" pose?" then the answer would be yes. Sorry.)
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velarisdusk · 2 months ago
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i took a break from kinktober writing to crochet a sweater (my first wearable project, im very excited) and i'm listening to the throne of glass audiobook while i do it (IT'S REALLY GOOD IM ANNOYED I DIDNT START ON THE SERIES SOONER??????)
BUT all this to say, i got the idea to - if this sweater goes well - make a velaris sweater :') with ramiel on it :') it's already a thing i know but ive wanted one since the first time i saw one on tiktok but i dont wanna buy clothes on tiktok bc im worried about wearing anything THAT cheap bc i have sensitive skin, and theyre WAY expensive on etsy, so i will make my own :D
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sassmill · 3 months ago
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Hey it’s absolutely buckwild how quickly one little seed of an intrusive thought will have me fucking spiraling
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graveyarrdshift · 2 years ago
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it's just me and my mood swings against the world
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t-ierrahumeda · 7 months ago
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Took another day off. My manager is gonna murder me but what can I say. I love living on edge <- anxiety gone up by 60%
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kikis-writing-service · 10 months ago
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I don’t make enough money to have these many health problems so early in my life
My body needs to get its shit together or something
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twinkskeletons · 1 year ago
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boy why are you so problems
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godsiick · 1 year ago
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I made my appointment. Got prescribed literal ketamine. Got home safe.
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momorikoz · 2 years ago
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thinking abt how i was very close to being an alcoholic
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realityphobia · 2 years ago
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You know its bad when you mention your work frustrations to your psychiatrist and they, a layman in your discipline, say "wait how are you supposed to do that."
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lesbianhallieparker · 2 years ago
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wrote out a calendar for my next two weeks bc i am so overwhelmed and dysfunctional rn and even scheduled when i’m going to shower
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temperate-rainforest · 1 year ago
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,
making this one binary. no ghost agnosticism allowed. but explain the nuances in the tags if you want.
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shireduchess · 5 days ago
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'it's okay to miss the people that hurt you' goddamn what a wild sentiment, it's almost like i've been dealing with the exact same thing since january, since before then
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