#suppress when discussions arise

[fragiledate]

that feeling of invisibility is so horrible

[novlr]

How do you write characters who ignore their feelings

When you write characters who ignore their feelings, you delve into a complex psychological landscape that, if done well, can resonate deeply with readers. These characters are walking contradictions, their emotions simmering just beneath the surface. This tension between their inner experiences and external expressions makes them fascinating and relatable to readers.

Behaviour

Disregard their own emotional well-being

Focus on logic and facts

Appear stoic or unfazed in stressful scenarios

Engage in compulsive behaviours as a distraction

Will take on burdens without complaining

Avoid conversations about their feelings

Can be reliable in a crisis

Immerse themselves in work or hobbies

Seen as cold or insensitive by others

Exhibit control issues, and micromanaging tendencies

Interactions

Difficulty forming deep, emotional connections

Uncomfortable with physical displays of affection

Struggle to empathise with others’ feelings

Change the subject when discussions turn emotional

Appear indifferent or detached in social settings

Perceived as blunt or straightforward in their communication

Offer practical solutions to problems, rather than emotional support

Have a small, close-knit circle of friends, if any

Inadvertently hurt others by dismissing their emotions

Often seen as the ‘rock’ or ‘anchor’ by their peers

Body language

Cross arms or create physical barriers when emotional topics arise

Maintain a steady, controlled posture

Rarely exhibit nervous ticks or fidgeting

Minimal eye contact during emotional conversations

Often have a rigid or stiff walk or stance

Avoid touch or recoil slightly from unexpected contact

Neutral or hard to read facial expressions

Look away or distance themselves from emotional displays

Rarely cry or show signs of emotional distress in public

Likely to control voice pitch and volume meticulously, even when agitated

Attitude

A practical and no-nonsense demeanour

Often skeptical of emotional reasoning or decisions

May seem dismissive or cynical about sentimentality

Value strength, self-sufficiency, and independence

Pride themselves on not ‘giving in’ to emotions

Can be incredibly self-disciplined and focused

View emotional displays as weaknesses or inconveniences

Have a strong drive to maintain composure under pressure

Sometimes accused of lacking passion or enthusiasm

Can come across as disinterested or aloof

Positive story outcomes

Learn to acknowledge and accept their emotions in a healthy way

Build stronger, more genuine relationships through vulnerability

Find themselves more at peace after emotional breakthroughs

Gain respect from others for their growth and emotional maturity

Overcome past traumas that caused them to suppress their feelings

Develop a more balanced approach to problem-solving

Become a role model for others struggling with emotional expression

Facilitate a cathartic moment that resolves a central conflict

Experience personal breakthroughs leading to unexpected joy

Discover hidden strengths through the acceptance of weakness

Negative story outcomes

Relationships may deteriorate because of emotional neglect

They could face a breakdown from accumulated stress

Might cause unintended harm to themselves or others

Risk becoming isolated because of their lack of emotional openness

Can suffer from health issues related to suppressed emotions

Might miss out on life-changing opportunities because of fear of vulnerability

Could be overtaken by their emotions in a critical moment

May lose the trust or respect of peers who crave emotional honesty

Potentially fail to resolve a major conflict because of emotional barriers

Their growth as a character might stagnate, leading to a tragic outcome

Helpful Vocabulary

Aloof

Detached

Dismissive

Stoic

Impassive

Restrained

Unflappable

Resolute

Suppressed

Guarded

Inexpressive

Dispassionate

Self-contained

Unemotional

Nonreactive

Disconnected

Inhibited

Controlled

Reticent

Reserved

[beaunoor]

higuruma hiromi x f!reader

synopsis: modern au! with both of you as lawyers. you're supposed to remain professional, but it doesn't stop the both of you from feeling a certain way when you both are in your element. sort of based on a previous imagine

wrd count: 1733

warnings: mdni! i don't really go into the actual court case bc i am lazy, female reader! light tension, smut (doing it on a desk, fingering, rough sex, tie pulling, semi-public, sort of breeding idk, praise), word "wife" used, yeah they get turned on in court in an odd way ig, barely any real plot

*extra editing will be done later, very tired while posting this

"Court is in session."

Your eyes watched as his black pant clad legs glide across the room to face the stand to give the plaintiff's opening statement. His gruff voice was tantalizing in a way you could see the confidence he oozed with his unwavering speech. This wasn't the time to ogle at your competition though. You had a job to do; to defend your own client who assumed you were preparing yourself to speak on their behalf as they shifted in anxiety. Which was wrong--you knew this was an easy civil contract case, and you just happened to be saddled with a defendant who was untruthful. Though you did not work on cases together often, discussion of them was a daily occurrence you partook in when in the privacy in your own home, so you knew the outcome was not in your favor. It didn't mean you wouldn't give it your all at least. Besides, anything was worth it to see Hiromi Higuruma in his own element.

You remembered him getting ready this morning and the image had you nibbling on your lip. You narrowed your eyes at the way his suit hugged his body. The way he spoke with assurance and the way he oozed confidence really did it for you; this was him at his best after all. You also remembered his tired eyes lingering on yours when you passed ways at the office, trying your best not to spare a glance--oh right. You were supposed to be mad at him. Your legs crossed and you looked down at the papers in front of you when you felt the faint wisps of arousal arise.

After his opening statement, you stood up from your chair, smoothing out your clothes before moving to the stand. While you talked and faced the judge and jury, Higuruma's chin rested atop of his folded hands. His eyes raked along your backside and further down to the pencil skirt you worn. He remembered taking glances at you earlier that morning. Though his morning was less than pleasant when you had not spoken a word to him. A small spat was what it was last night. It was insignificant in the grand scheme of things. He wished he could hear your voice in different circumstances.

As you slowly paced across the floor, his eyes watched your words and gestures. When you were done with your statement, you had a fiery look in your eyes and the upturn of your lip when you caught his gaze on you, which to his embarrassment had his pants tightening.

When a short recess was taken, he had walked up to you in hopes of getting you to talk him in a different manner.

"And how are you doing today miss?"

You just glanced up at him and turned away, "It'll be better when I win, Mr. Higuruma."

He faintly grimaced. He knew he had to end this quickly before you caught a worse attitude with him.

Back and forth the battle went, each more passionate in their witness testimonies and evidence. But Higuruma always had an ace up his sleeve to help his clients, always.

"B-but that doesn't mean--" You put your fingers on your temple and suppressed a groan at the defendant's admittance.

"Your attorney should've prepared you better, Mr. Soto." Higuruma jabbed.

"And you now just admitted to being aware of such knowledge of a contract. So, to the jury," he turned to their stand, "I hope you can agree that ignorance does not determine a good defense for such a company circumstance. Mr. Soto has shown his account of unjust will to comply and I hope you can see how the plaintiff is needed to be compensated rightfully so." With that he concludes his closing statement.

He’s got you good.

The gavel against its block boomed loudly throughout the courtroom signaling the conclusion of the session. You can't help but purse your lips in disappointment.

While the bailiff was trying to calm down your client you packed your things up and caught Higuruma's eye as he walked back to the plaintiff's side as he gathered his things and shook hands with his client. You proceeded to grab your things and walk out of the courtroom, feeling his presence following behind you, making himself known as he opens the door for you and you both walk out side by side in silence. Once a certain amount of distance away, he lets his hand rest on your lower back guiding you away from peering eyes.

His embrace feels warm when he's got his face buried in the crook of your neck.

"Are we okay now?" His question muffled.

"...Yeah, yeah we're good now." You say pulling away from him.

"Why do I always get the short end of the stick with my clients?" You huffed aloud as you both stood in the empty hallway of the office building.

"Maybe it's karma for getting angry at those who don't deserve it."

You stood in front of him, arms crossed and let out a scoff at his jest. 

“Well, I am available to help debrief in my office if you are free at the moment. I don't have another case until later.”

“Well I wouldn't want to intrude on the 'oh so great lawyer Mr. Higuruma's time” you replied.

"You know no one likes a sore loser" He leaned in close to your face, "though if you want a 'pick me up' I always have time for you, wife."

Your eyes looked into his eyes before flickering down to his lips, you tilted your head up at him, "What did you have in mind?"

As soon as his office door was closed, you turned around to see him drop his briefcase and reach for your face with both hands and fiercely kissed your lips. Your arms went up to his shoulders and chased his lips back. He walked forward and you clumsily stumbled backwards until your legs hit the front end of his desk causing you to half sit on the desk. You let go to take a breath, and half hazardly unbuttoned your dress shirt. He got his suit jacket halfway off before he felt you reach his belt loops and unbuckled his slacks. He stopped you to do it himself while you crumpled and lifted up your skirt to expose your panties to him. As soon as his boxers were lowered for his cock to spring out, you grabbed his tie to pull his lips to yours. His hand went down to slip past your underwear to insert a finger inside your pussy. When he felt how warm and wet you were he let out a groan into your mouth and inserted another finger to work you open.

“Oh baby, you’re so wet.” he groaned out against your lips.

“Haa- you were so hot out there,” you gasped out.

“Yeah? You like me arguing with you? This pussy sure loves it, can you hear it?”

He gave a few more pumps in with his fingers before pulling them out and using the same hand to jerk his dick before bringing it to your cunt and pushed in a little before pulling it back to rub it against your opening. He heard you whine at the sensation and finally pushed all the way in.

“Hah my wife is so inpatient.”

As his hips pushed into yours, his hands grabbed around your waist, wrapping your legs around his torso, back now flat against the desk.

“You did so good out there baby. Haa- you feel so good–” he moaned out, head falling back at the feeling of being inside you.

His thrusts begin slow and stroke deep. Your toes flexed inside your pointed heels at the feeling of being dicked down so good. One hand reached up to grab onto his shoulder and the other grabbed at your breast and groped in a way to make you moan out.

He looked down at you again, loving to see you enjoy yourself and let loose in your half undone shirt, “Oh baby, I'm so close–-feel so good--ah can’t believe you do this to me.”

He lifted up your left leg onto his shoulder to reach deeper which had you whining and your eyes teared up in the new sensation, he was hitting all the right spots.

“Hiroo- I’m going to-uhn-I’m going to cum baby” 

“Yeah you’re going to cum? Cum on this cock baby, you can do it baby I can feel it.” he encouraged by moving his hand down to play with your clit, rubbing it in circles to overwhelm you. 

You let out a shaky breath as you felt yourself orgasm, having it reach its peak had your legs flex and shake as it washed over you. A silent scream and the tightening of your cunt kept him going, him speeding up his thrusts to reach his end.

“Ah I’m going to cum–ahh I’m cumming in this pussy.” He groaned out, exhaling deeply as he felt his cock release into the deep crevice of your cunt. He gave a few more shallow thrusts, rubbing his hips against yours slowly before stilling his movements and letting your leg down. He held your thighs as both your breathing turned back to normal. He took one of your arms, hand sliding down to your hand before placing a kiss into your palm.

“Don’t worry baby, you'll win the next one. I can't loose, I want to look cool in front of my wife.”

You rolled your eyes at him and swat at him playfully.

"Hmm I thought that debrief surely helped your attitude, maybe not?"

You groaned and looked him in the eye to pout. He leaned down to kiss at your face and made his way down to nibble on your neck, before you giggled and pushed his face away.

"Mm Hiro stop, you have to get back to work soon." you reprimanded and he huffed through his nose before he pecked your lips one more time before pulling away from your body and tucked himself away.

After you separated and fixed yourselves you turned back to him to smooth out his suit and tie.

“Thank you for the pick me up." you pressed a kiss to his cheek. "See you at home, Mr. Higuruma. . .” you said and walked out of his office.

a/n: can't believe gege trying to take my man! it's superrr late but was inspired to get this out of the drafts, tumblr kept deleting the progress and it stressed me out so it may not be the best

likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated! thanks for reading!

[wondermilka]

Parallel Lines

Pairing: Kaedehara Kazuha x FEM! reader

Sypnosis : You have harbored romantic feelings for your childhood friend Kazuha, even though you were aware he had feelings for someone else. Despite that, you wanted to confess your love to him. However, an unexpected twist arises when you start experiencing a strange disease, coughing up flower petals.

TW: Hanahaki Disease, angst, unrequited love, rushed ending, not proof read, reader dies(?)

You and Kazuha were inseparable. He was your only best friend, you have known eachother since you were in your diapers. He's the only one who's ever seen real side of you and never judged you for being you.

Your parents trusted him enough to come over and have sleepovers. Hanging out with Kazuha? Sure. Going swimming? No problem. Going to a party? Don't even need to ask as long as Kazuha was with you.

You've had a huge crush on him. You didn't realize it until back on middle school when he comforted you while you were crying because you got bullied.

He was always there for you. He'd be the one to make you laugh when you were crying. He'd be there to cheer you up when life's not going well. He was always there.

You always thought it would be just a harmless crush, not until a new girl came to your school. You saw kazuha's eyes when he first saw her. You never saw those of his whenever you were together.

"What's with that face zuha?" you ask.

"Oh, it's nothing.. There's just this one girl who's been constantly on my mind ever since I saw her," he replied.

His eyes softened and glimmered while he was talking about this girl.

A pain struck your chest, and you felt like you were going to throw up.

"Hmm, let me guess, is it the new girl? I forgot her name though..."

His face turned red as you mentioned the new girl, making it obvious.

"I- Ugh Fine! Yes it's her- just don't tell anyone okay?!" he confessed stuttering.

"Your secret's safe with me" you gave him a playful wink

"Thanks Y/N. You're the best friend ever."

Right. I'm just a friend to him.

Weeks went by and he gained up the courage to approach her. And it went well, he had built up a relationship with the new girl, it hurt to see them together.

You sat alone during lunch, wondering whefe Kazuha is. Of course he was sitting and having lunch with her.

You had no one to talk to during class because his attention was always on her.

How pathetic it was to see yourself like this.

Now you find yourself in the bathroom, experiencing stomach aches and constantly throwing up for weeks. You're well aware that it's the Hanahaki Disease, considering the petals of flowers that accompany your vomiting.

You love Kazuha, but you know you must suppress your feelings for him, or else it will be the cause of your demise.

Were you truly going to die in such a manner?

Another plan canceled with Kazuha. He's prioritizing her over you.

You understand that it's best to keep your distance from him in case he starts noticing your declining health.

You've been avoiding him at school, always attempting to come up with excuses to escape. In fact, you even avoid sitting at the dinner table whenever his family visits, just to avoid seeing him.

"Y/N. We need to talk."

There's no running away now. He has you cornered inside the classroom.

"I'm sorry, Kazuha. I really need to leave."

"Enough with your excuses. Why are you avoiding me, Y/N?"

He can't deny that he has been noticing the way you have been acting; Everytime he glanced at you, you were coughing.

The dark circles beneath your eyes suggest that you haven't been sleeping well. You have also lost weight. Have you not been eating properly?

You remained silent as the silence enveloped both of you, making it unbearable.

The atmosphere felt heavy and... cold. "Y/N, please talk to me. I'm worried about you."

"There is nothing to discuss, Kazuha." Your voice had a serious and chilly tone, yet the pain and cracks was not left unnoticed.

"I know you're not fine. Please, Y/N... Don't push me away. I have always been there for you, haven't I?"

Tears streamed down your face as you struggled to suppress silent sobs.

"I'm inlove with you, okay?!?"

His eyes widened.

"And I understand that you only consider me as your friend, so it doesn't matte-..."

Before you could finish speaking, your legs gave way, and you collapsed to the ground.

Your breathing became constricted. It was painful.

Petals and blood began to escape as you coughed uncontrollably.

"Y/N! Are you alright?" Shock formed in his eyes as he recognized the petals. It was Hanahaki Disease. He was the cause of your illness.

On the verge of losing consciousness, Kazuha swiftly held you in his arms.

"Y/N, please don't leave me!" he shouts while tears stream down his face.

As you fade away, the last sound you heard was his desperate plea for you to stay conscious, accompanied by the comforting sensation of his embrace.

Similar to parallel lines, our paths were destined to be close but never to intersect.

A/N : First post. Thoughts? : )

[rinainshadows]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖌𝖔 𝖎𝖓 𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

"𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔡𝔬 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔢𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢."

🪽 ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

TW: Delves into psychology theory. Very lightly brushes on themes of having a negative childhood. Overall positive message, though, just want to put that out just in case!

I wanted to make a post talking about the ego and how it may "hold us back" in manifestation. This was inspired by a YouTube video I watched and I want to give credit to the original creator because I'll definitely be quoting parts of their video!

(TLDR at end, approximately 4-5 minute read)

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋

Firstly, one must ask, "What is the ego?" The concept of the ego, as first propagated by psychologist Sigmund Freud, signifies the "self" or "I" and serves as our intermediary with the external world through perception. It is the segment of our being that holds memory, evaluates, plans, and in various manners, responds to and acts within the surrounding physical and social world. According to Freud’s theory, it coexists with the "id": our base and primitive drives and instincts, and the superego: the ethical and moral component of our personality. The ego operates on the principle of reality, which acts to satisfy the id's primal yearning for instant gratification while upholding the superego's aspirations for maintaining social and moral standards.

This delicate balance is dictated by the strength of the ego. An individual with lacking ego strength may find themselves torn between the demands of the id and the superego. Conversely, one possessing an overly fortified ego might become rigid and resistant to compromise. A well-balanced ego is deemed essential for assisting an individual in coping with stress, setbacks, and other hardships in life, without resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms. A person with low ego strength may struggle to withstand adversities and might seek to evade reality through wishful thinking, addictions, or delusions.

With an understanding of the ego and its role in balancing the id and superego, one might ponder, what transpires when the ego does not exist? The phenomenon known as ego death can occur through the practice of deep meditation, the use of psychedelics, near-death experiences, or rigorous spiritual discipline. This process involves a loss of self, of all emotions—both benevolent and malevolent—and a sensation of oneness with the universe. This elevated state is akin to what some may describe as "enlightenment." Though any person on a spiritual journey might experience ego death, maintaining such a transcended state is nigh impossible in a world where the ego is requisite for survival. Oftentimes, only monks or those who wholly sequester themselves from society in an effort to negate karmic debt can sustain this enlightened state.

I bring this discussion to light because, within the realms of manifestation and spirituality, we are frequently advised to purge ourselves of doubts and limiting beliefs, ultimately striving to dissolve our ego. Our ego is formed in infancy and evolves throughout our development. It serves as our shield in this intensely stimulating and, at times, perilous world. Often, a weakened ego strength stems from external sources within one's childhood—perhaps an unstable upbringing, a childhood bereft of freely given love, or a sense of unworthiness. Thus, when we endeavor to manifest our desires and any doubts arise, merely suppressing them and admonishing ourselves for feeling thus is a misguided approach. It is imperative to bestow upon our ego, our doubts, the love and validation they require; otherwise, they will persistently clamor for our attention.

Self-transformation and the spiritual journey, which are inadvertently related to manifesting, is not often a process achieved overnight. There may be days of immense confidence, where one resides in a state of knowing. Yet, on subsequent days, doubts may cascade, highlighting every contradiction in our circumstances and physical reality. We are often advised to enhance our self-concept and strive to reach a higher vibration aligned with our higher selves. Whilst this counsel is admirable, why can we not simply be deserving as we are? When we convince ourselves that we must embody a particular state to attain our desire, we are merely affirming the deep-seated belief that we are undeserving.

Thus, I implore you to reflect: are you condemning that inner voice? While it may suffice for some to ignore it and persist regardless, this approach may prove counterproductive, especially if this issue recurs, causing you to waver. The next time this occurs, take a moment to sit with yourself. Remind yourself that this may be your inner child. Assure them that they are accepted, that they deserve to be heard, and that they do not need to change. Learn to cherish that aspect of yourself and the lessons it imparts. Worry not that perhaps by "validating" and attending to these doubts, you might find yourself in a perpetual state of negativity. Contrarily, by providing that voice the love and validation it seeks, you will discover that it in fact soothes and dispels the worries more rapidly.

In truth, all facets of the ego are equal. The version of you that is joyful, the version that is sorrowful, the version that feels deserving of love, and the version that does not—all coexist. The reason you deem them as "bad" or "unwanted" is because you assign them such labels. They exist to protect you and are neither inherently good nor bad. This is why, in ego death, all emotions cease—there is no joy, sorrow, desire, or contentment. It is a state of nothingness. You are the one ascribing meaning to your feelings, creating a duality that may generate unnecessary resistance.

I once encountered the advice that "you can do everything wrong and still achieve your desire." Of course, this is not an endorsement of self-destructive habits. Rather, it is a call for kindness towards oneself. Remind yourself that you are deserving of your desires exactly as you are. Practice self-parenting and self-soothing. If we are all interconnected with the divine, then every part of us, even those that seem unseemly, is still imbued with divine love. Cease demonizing certain parts of yourself. Abandon the notions of "I should not think this way" or "I should be making more progress." We are imperfect beings, but this does not render us any less deserving of our desires at this very moment. Why must we attain a particular state to be worthy?

Happy Manifesting,

ℜ𝔦𝔫𝔞

TLDR: The ego, as defined by Freud, mediates between our primal desires (id) and moral standards (superego). A balanced ego helps us cope with life's challenges, while an unbalanced one can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Ego death, achieved through spiritual practices, leads to a loss of self and a feeling of oneness with the universe but is hard to maintain in everyday life.

In manifestation and spirituality, we're often told to eliminate doubts and dissolve the ego, but this isn't always helpful. Our ego, formed from childhood experiences, protects us. Suppressing doubts isn't the answer; we should validate and love our inner voice instead.

Self-transformation is a gradual process. It's okay to have doubts. Embrace all parts of yourself, as they all serve a purpose. Being kind to yourself and practicing self-soothing can help you manifest your desires without feeling undeserving. You don't need to be perfect or reach a specific state to be worthy of your desires.

I feel that perhaps talking about the psychology of the ego may be a bit unnecessary, but, what's wrong with learning something new?

[liquorishblack]

Inside the twisted mind of Hisoka Morow (part 1)

Part 1 , Part 2

Synopsis: Psychoanalysis about Hisoka, concerning his past and who he is today.

TW: Mentions of abuse, physical abuse, child abuse, emotional abuse, mental disorders

Wordcount: 561

➽───────────────❥

So, I have a bachelor degree in psychology and today I work in the forensic field. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that nearly every perpetrator was once a victim.

I´ve seen many on this platform wondering what a relationship with Hisoka would look like… and honestly, since he´s quite a complex and interesting character, I wrapped my head around this question as well. But I quickly came to the conclusion that if you want to make assumptions about how Hisoka would behave in certain situations regarding relationships, it is necessary to understand his psyche and therefore we should have at least a little glimpse at his past (Part 1) before we come to the relationship headcanon (Part2). 

So, shall we?

For the following I´ll go with the theory that Hisoka isn´t a psychopath at all (for a bunch of reasons but the whole discussion whether he is in fact a psychopath or not would fill a whole page for itself, so I won´t dwell on this subject today). But this much shall be said: While psychopathy is a neurological dysfunction (which means psychopaths are born that way), what society calls "sociopathy" usually arises from trauma, which I find much more likely in his case. So, Hisoka might not be a psychopath but do we find him on the spectrum of antisocial personality disorder? Hell yes! He is arrogant, self serving, only fights for himself, shows lack of empathy, views other human being as „toys“ and has no sense of remorse or whatsoever. But if he´s not a psychopath, why is that? At a certain point in his past he must have learned that people aren´t trustworthy and that he can´t rely on them. Very likely this is because he was let down, or worse, even endangered, by the people who were supposed to protect him; his primary caregivers. For this reason Hisoka stands for himself, trusts no one and is a lone wolf at heart as an adult. This theory is also supported by the fact that he seems very touch starved and even tries to get along with people occasionally, almost as if he longs for closeness and affiliation, until his own psychology torpedos his newly built and therefore still fragile relationships, because the desire of self-preservation is superior to that of belonging. So he pushes others purposely away, to not take the risk of any emotional damage. Also, the fact that at a certain point Hisoka apparently linked affection with physical violence, pain, and even fear of death suggests that the only form of attention he received in his childhood and adolescence were in fact beatings. These early childhood experiences are likely to have been accompanied by a strong and constant sense of lack of control. The only way to gain back control in such situations from which you can´t escape as a defenseless child is to master your own psychology, ergo: burry your emotions, swallow your pain, so it won´t break you. As for today, Hisokas strive to control break others is pretty obviously an overcompensation for his lack of control at the time. Speaking of emotion: I’m pretty sure that Hisoka has emotions, even complex ones, but can only sense them in a pretty aloof way, because the terrible experiences from his past forced him to suppress them and shut himself off from them over many many years, so he has simply forgotten how to feel. This is accompanied by a consuming feeling of emptiness, which is why people who fall under the spectrum of ASPD need strong stimuli to fill the void caused by lack of strong emotion. They often tend to recklessness and take great risks, not infrequently even risking their own death, just as Hisoka does when he challenges strong opponents to battle. His sense of grandeur and superiority I view as another coping strategy. I´m sure that under his nacissistic mask lies just another insecure and deeply intimidated child, so deeply buried that Hisoka might have forgotten about it himself.

Thank you so much for reading.🤍🖤

Part 2

[moonsoulastrology]

Asteroid Juno Info and thru signs and houses

Juno's rulerships are connected to Libra and Scorpio. Juno rules over relationships, marriage, and sex. She's a higher octave of Venus energy. She's also an indicator of women's cycles and, on an occult level, rules over spiritual use of sexual energy, particularly within a marriage commitment. Juno describes the need for a deeply committed and just relationship, including the range of suffering and neurotic complexes that arise when the relationship is denied or frustrated. Juno depicts the issue of sexual infidelity as well as the oppression and force that are often used to maintain it. She represents the humility, shame, anger, and revenge that erupts when the slighted partner finally retaliates. Juno is the significator for the jealousy and resentment that emerges when a partner does not feel adequately acknowledged for the sacrifices the native has made. Juno describes the ways in which we face the issues of compatability, receptivity to others, mutual sharing, trust, jealousy, possessiveness, and power struggles. Juno stands up for women's rights. She is a symbol for the powerless, like abused women and children, disabled, minorities, rape, and incest. Juno is also associated with the atmosphere.

Thru the signs, she describes 12 styles of relating and meeting our intimacy needs. Thru the houses, Juno shows where we are most likely to experience the need to relate and in what area of life experience we will encounter or most important relationship lessons. Juno's aspects to the planets describe how the relatedness function may be integrated with other parts of our personality. Harmonious aspects point to an easy blending while hard aspects signify potential conflicts between the relating urge and other psychic requirements of the individual. Juno's sign and house position in your chart also describes qualities that we seek in our ideal mate.

Juno thru the signs:

♈️Aries: natives need independence and freedom in relationships. Outbursts of temper and anger are the release mechanisms for the frustrate need for autonomy. The suppression of identity needs can rise to illnesses such as migraine headaches. Attraction to a domineering and assertive individual is possible when one projects one's power onto the partner.

♉️Taurus: These natives need stability and groundedness in their relationships. Their partner must be dependable, reliable, and excuse the sensual contact of being there. Nagging, complaining about money, and excessive need to possess tangible assets can result from fears of abandonment, financial impoverishment, and physical insecurity. People might either experience these traits or attract partners who express the agitator.

♊️Gemini: The native indicates the need to have verbal stimulation and exchange in a relationship. The capacity to discuss day-to-day plans and having a variety of activities in which to participate together are essential ingredients. A lack of daily communication can lead to nervous tension, intermental agitation of imagined dialogues, or continual verbal monologues. There can exist the desire for more than one mate and an ability to handle multiple relationships.

♋️Cancer: These natives desire emotional closeness and nurturing from their relationship. Sharing food as a ritual and a strong emphasis on home life are essential. Moodiness, withdrawal, clinging, and dependent behavior arise when these emotional needs are not secured.

♌️Leo: These natives need admiration and excitement in their relationship. The Romantic rights of courtship need to continue into the marriage, and the person must take pride in the partner. Being taken for granted, rejected, or ignored can produce egocentric, selfish behavior and inappropriate means of gaining attention.

♍️Virgo: These natives desire to achieve perfection in the relationship. A willingness of the partner to engage in analyzing day-to-day functioning and adjusting daily habit patterns contributes to the sense of a working relationship. These individuals may become overly critical, finding, and compulsive when their partner is unwilling to make these adjustments.

♎️Libra: These natives need to feel as equal and require a fair give and take in their relationship. Consultation from their partner on decision-making and respect and approval for their ideas are required. When equality needs or is not met, these individuals can become uncooperative, excessively competitive, or even engage in direct combat.

♏️Scorpio: These natives crave emotional and sexual intensity and intimate bonding with their partner. There can exist the tendency to attempt to control their partner or to desire exclusive attention from them. Jealousy, manipulation, and territoriality or sexual withdrawal reactions to the thwarting or denial of these needs.

♐️Sagittarius: These natives require intellectual stimulation with their partner. Consensus on a belief system or a mutually shared vision of the future is required. Rigid insistence on one's own beliefs, religious fanaticism, or inflated expectations of the future can result when a unifying vision is not shared.

♑️Capricorn: These natives seek depth and the assurance of long-term commitment in their relationship, and therefore, they need the security of traditional and legally sanctioned forms. These individuals may attempt to control their partners and demand obedience or withdrawal emotionally if their need for respect and stability is threatened.

♒️Aquarius: These natives require the freedom to be an individual and have a life apart from the relationship. These individuals need to have the opportunity to experiment with new relationship forms such as an open marriage or role reversals. When the Juno and Aquarius partners are denied their freedom, they may engage in noncommittal, unreliable, or erratic behavior.

♓️Pisces: These natives desire to realize their highest ideals through their relationship. Complete faith, commitment, and reverence toward their partner are what give meaning and value. Disillusionment, withdrawal, escapism into fantasy and self deception, martyrdom, and victimization result when these idealistic expectations are not met.

Juno thru the Houses:

1h - the first house correlates personal identity with being a partner to someone else. Relationship is self-expression, and this individual may feel more secure to be themselves when they have the support of a partner. This individual must learn the lessons of how to initiate relationship encounters, how to approach others, and how to get along with them. The most important relationship interactions will occur and how one presents oneself to others.

2h- second house implies that value is placed on the financial and material security derived from their relationship. Mutual dependency in providing for each other's needs is an important factor in incompatibility. This person's most important relationship interactions will occur in the area of attachments and possessions.

3h - the third house suggests that intellectual and verbal communication are required for the fulfillment of relationship needs. The partner often serves as a catalyst for one's own self understanding. The most important relationship interactions will occur in the area of daily communication and networking with others.

4h - the fourth house represents the need for a secure relationship of the foundation for the rest of life's activities. This can be an idealized version of me as nurture. One who provides home, food, comfort, and support. The most important relationship interactions will occur in the area of one's personal, private domain, or with the family.

5h- 5th house indicates that the relationship can be used to inspire and support one's personal creativity. Children often contribute to the sense of creative fulfillment. Thus, the major focus of the partnership can often Center unparenting. The most important relationship interactions will occur with one's children, lovers, or creative endeavors.

6h- six house natives desire to be able to work efficiently and constructively with their partner and may feel that a large part of their relationship function consists of keeping the day-to-day details of life in order. The most important relationship interactions will occur with employers and coworkers and one's job or with health or service related issues.

7h- seventh house natives Place primary emphasis on the value of marital, business, or other intimate partnerships. The need to cooperate with others informs lifelong primary relationships because a major focuses throughout the lifetime. The most important relationship interactions will occur in one-to-one encounters with others.

8h- 8th house natives thrive on the intensity of emotional Peak experiences in their relationship. Partners often put each other through continual changes and transformations. The most important relationship interactions will concern mutual finances and possessions, as well as the issues of trust, power, and sexuality.

9h- 9th house natives seek meaning and truth through their relationships. There needs to exist a mutual respect for each other's mind. Oftentimes, a person marries his or her teacher or Vision quest. The most important relationship interactions will occur in the area of ideals, philosophical concepts, or foreign contacts.

10h- 10th house natives can signify the person who marries his or her career. In addition, one's relationship may be on public display or provide a role model for other people to emulate. Partnership may come the means for gaining social status. The most important relationship interactions occur through one's profession or career.

11h- 11th house individuals need friendship and acceptance from their partner. One's relationship unit needs to be able to extend into friends and group associations, extended family forms, social and political activism, and group marriage. There is a visionary dimension represented by Juno in the 11th that revolutionizes old relationship forms. The most important relationship interactions will occur with friends and social associates.

12h- 12th house natives are significant in the karma aspect of relationships. Often, the Partnerships one magnetizes has a Destin quality to them. There may seem to be no visible reason for the union, but underlying the surface is an emotional power that one can not deny. The visible relationship is only the tip of an iceberg whose antecendent causes go back into past lifetimes. Yet, it is these unconscious aspects that surface and dominate the relationship interplay. Sometimes, the partner may be disabled or ill, so that one needs to selflessly serve and make amends to them. In other cases, the partner may be a victim, and one must learn to release them and let them evolve into their own. Juno in the 12th house individuals may experience loss, denial, or death of their partner. On a spiritual level, partnership is connected to a desire to merge with the infinite. Where mysticism, dreams, ideals, and yearnings are shared, this placement can signify an ecstatic union.

Aspects to follow in another post...

#Juno #Houses #zodiacsign #Astrology #AstrologyCommunity #astrologyobservations

[mbti-notes]

hi i live in an ethnically divided country and in the process of growing up i too eventually became prejudiced towards other gruops because thats what we were taught that they are responsible for ruining the country etc but as i grow up ive tried to reduce this prejudice by first holding back judgements during conflict and hearing ppl out-not easy i was wondering if you have any other ways to help me tone down some of the prejudicial feelings i have thanks

Combating prejudice is deeply related to personal growth, so it's worth going into detail about it. Prejudice is a complicated topic because it needs to be understood from many different angles. It is a psychologically sensitive topic because of the moral injury and intergenerational trauma it causes. It is a politically controversial topic because there is a lot of disagreement about the best methods of remedying it.

Academically, this field of study is relatively new, so a lot of the research is still in early stages. It is a sad fact that academia has always been dominated by the perpetrators of prejudice, so the topic was not taken seriously until civil rights became a more prominent issue in society. In countries where civil rights haven't mattered or were continually suppressed, prejudice is considered just another form of suffering that people must endure.

WHAT IS PREJUDICE?

The literal meaning of prejudice comes from "pre-judge", to make a judgment without proper logical reasoning and/or before possessing necessary and sufficient evidence (of truth). If you can set aside the moral aspect of prejudice for a moment (whether it's good or bad), the foundation of pre-judgment is actually a cognitive issue, pertaining to how humans think, and the many ways in which their thought process can be flawed. Sometimes it helps to think of prejudice in cognitive rather than moral terms because it can reduce blaming and shaming, which allows for more productive discussion.

As humans evolved, they were often faced with dangerous situations in which they had to make timely decisions without opportunity to gather sufficient information. As a result, pre-judgment got built into the human brain as a survival tool. Pre-judgment relies on "fuzzy" sources of information that are immediately available, such as memories, emotions, and intuitions. The brain automatically uses past experience to formulate "general rules of thumb", which is an unrefined method of organizing and categorizing information. These generalizations can then be used to make quick intuitive leaps and connections when navigating new situations. The word "automatic" is important because most of this information processing takes place instantly, below conscious awareness.

The great speed at which pre-judgment occurs means that certain things must be sacrificed, such as mindfulness, precision, accuracy, and most importantly, the bigger picture, since the past experience of one individual is an extremely limited pool of information. The flaws of this "lower" level information processing are presumably why human beings also had to evolve the so-called "higher" brain that is used for logical reasoning and conscious deliberation.

In other words, humans essentially have two different brains (which have been given various names throughout the history of psychology). Problems arise when the two brains diverge or disagree. The bad news is that it's impossible to stop your "lower" brain from pre-judging because it's a critical brain function. The good news is that it's quite possible to use your "higher" brain to counteract the mistakes and negative effects of pre-judgment. This is a process that may involve several steps:

STEP 1: NURTURE SELF-AWARENESS

The first step is to develop enough self-awareness to realize that there's a lot more going on in your mind than you realize. The reason I go on and on about self-awareness is that you can't address an issue until you become aware of it. Many people aren't aware of their beliefs and values and just take them for granted. To increase self-awareness, reflect on your beliefs and values in more detail. It might help to write them down.

beliefs: what you take as true/untrue about the world

values: how you assign importance, significance, or worth

The fact of the matter is that people pick up their beliefs and values quite passively from their environment. Knowing this can make you more understanding of people when they hold problematic beliefs because it's likely that they haven't had enough opportunity to examine them properly. We all grow up internalizing someone else's beliefs and values. Yet many people treat their beliefs and values as their personal "identity" and are unwilling to let them go even when the beliefs are proven false or the values proven misguided.

In your case, your culture has taught you racist beliefs and values, e.g., that people of a certain ethnicity are bad, inferior, not to be trusted, best eliminated, etc. As a child, you accepted these beliefs and values because i) you didn't know any better, and ii) holding them made it easier for you to fit in. It feels good to fit in. A culture survives and thrives when its members continually validate each other, even when the beliefs/values being validated are problematic.

In adulthood, you can hide behind excuses and continue to uncritically conform with your culture, or you can reflect critically on your culture and actively choose the kind of person you want to be. Do you want these unexamined beliefs and values to define you? Do you want to let these unexamined beliefs and values make you a protector of a prejudiced society and a perpetrator of discrimination? If not, what kind of society do you hope to live in, and what kinds of beliefs and values must you hold in order to help bring that better society into being?

Shining more light on the underlying beliefs and values that underpin your behavior creates an opportunity to change them for the better. There are many things you don't have the power to control in society, but the one thing that is always within your power to improve is yourself.

STEP 2: FACE UP TO YOUR PREJUDICE

The second step is to admit that you pre-judge and acknowledge any problems it has caused. A problem won't get solved by dancing around it. To confront a problem head on means you must see the FULL extent of it. Once again, it might help to lay it all out in writing, for example:

Write down all the times you felt awkward, clueless, or helpless around someone different from you, and explain why.

Write down all the instances where pre-judgment led you to misunderstand, misjudge, or mistreat someone, either intentionally or unintentionally.

Write down all the times you got criticized or suffered negative consequences related to pre-judgment.

Write down what you really thought about the people you've met of that ethnicity, even if it makes you feel ashamed, especially if it makes you feel ashamed. Shame is an indicator that something about your thinking/behavior is morally wrong, so learn to pay attention to shame and you'll discover opportunities to improve.

Were there better ways to approach those situations? It's hard to change negative behavior when you have no positive behavior to replace it with. Generally speaking, a great way to learn and improve in social situations is to be more curious and take more time to listen, rather than make assumptions and trip over your own false beliefs.

STEP 3: IMPROVE YOUR THINKING SKILLS

The third step is to develop better use of your "higher" intellect and its ability to reason, i.e., improve your critical thinking skills. Critical thinking basically means properly vetting your beliefs and values. There are several criteria you ought to use:

Truth: Is your belief really true? Is it based on fact? Human beings are prone to confirmation bias, so did you gather all of the available evidence and give fair consideration to the counterevidence? If you don't know enough to judge truth for yourself, have you consulted with a wide range of experts on the matter? Experts are the people who have already done sufficient formal learning and study. While their word shouldn't be taken as gospel, they are a good source of credible information that ought to be taken into consideration.

Rationality: Is your belief/value reasonable? Can you explain how you came to hold the belief/value? Can you provide a convincing logical argument to prove your belief or justify your value to others? If you don't know enough to judge the quality of information on your own, has your belief/value undergone adequate critique and rebuttal from those who know more? When used appropriately, discussion and debate with others can help you refine your ideas toward greater precision and accuracy.

Coherence: Do you express and apply your beliefs/values consistently in every situation? Do any of your beliefs/values contradict each other? Have you ever detected or been accused of hypocritical behavior? When your beliefs, values, and behaviors don't align or fit with each other, it causes an uncomfortable mental state called cognitive dissonance. It's a sign that there's a problem in your thought process, which you should use as an opportunity to straighten your mind out.

Racial/ethnic prejudice is a form of faulty thinking because it is based on stereotyping. A stereotype is an over-generalization about an entire category/group. For example, Americans are often stereotyped as loud, Canadians as polite, French as snobby, British as uptight, etc.

Stereotypes are difficult to eradicate for two reasons. First, stereotypes are a form of lazy thinking, and laziness often wins out when mental energy is limited. Since they are a form of pre-judgment, stereotypes are a quick and easy way to make sense of the world: Thinking along very general categories bypasses the need to think about all the little details of each individual member of the category. Stereotypes are also lazy in that they do not properly distinguish between race, ethnicity, and culture. How a person looks (biology), where they are from (geography), what group they identify with (culture), and how they behave (psychology) are separate issues, are they not? Yet, stereotypes do not recognize such nuances.

Second, stereotypes are easy to defend because they contain a tiny but heavily distorted grain of truth. Culture is real, and people who grow up in the same culture are more likely to adopt similar attitudes and behaviors. It is true that Americans tend to value extraverted behaviors like assertiveness and outspokenness. Cultural trends make it very easy to find an example of a loud American or a polite Canadian. Humans only require one or two examples and their brain will see a "pattern" and start making generalizations. Generalizations eventually evolve into stereotypes once enough people start believing they are true.

Many people try to debunk stereotypes by calling them false, but that's not quite the right approach. The more important problem with stereotypes is that they are only a very small piece of the picture that has been blown out of proportion and treated as the whole picture. A stereotype is an oversimplification. To debunk an oversimplification is different than just calling out falsity. If the problem is that people aren't taking enough information into consideration, then the solution should be to make them take the fuller picture into account. This can be done in two ways:

i. Seek Counterevidence: For instance, for every loud American you meet in the US, you will find a quiet one that didn't draw your attention. If you actually did this, the number of loud Americans would immediately drop to ~50%. It's much harder to justify stereotyping when you realize that the number of people who fit the stereotype isn't anywhere near 100% or even a majority. This is why an effective way to increase racial and ethnic harmony is to encourage more mixing and mingling between groups. When you're constantly encountering evidence that goes against the stereotype, over and over again, stereotypes will cease to have any meaning.

ii. Respect Individuality: Recognize that not everyone subscribes equally or in the same way to the culture in which they were brought up. Go to a collectivist culture and you'll find plenty of rebellious people. Go to a traditional culture and you'll find plenty of open-minded people. There are plenty of people who suffer because they don't fit in well with their culture. When you stereotype, you are basically saying that every person is just a mindless or unthinking product of their culture. Is it fair to dismiss people in this way, before you've even known a single fact about their personal experience and background? Another reason why mixing and mingling between groups promotes racial and ethnic harmony is because normal everyday interactions force you to connect with each individual's humanity and you can't help but be more empathetic as a result.

Do you hope to be an intelligent person? An important aspect of growing as a person is to develop your intellectual capabilities because they are necessary for having good judgment. Is it possible to make consistently good decisions in life when your mind is riddled with wrong ideas and bad thinking habits such as overgeneralizing and oversimplifying?

STEP 4: UNDERSTAND YOUR PLACE IN HISTORY

The fourth step is to have a better understanding of history and how you fit into the historical context of racial/ethnic divides. People may be born to pre-judge but they aren't born with prejudiced beliefs. Beliefs are learned and passed down from one generation to the next. Prejudice isn't just a problem of one person's faulty cognition, it is also a social and political problem, where faulty beliefs and values build a society that treats people unfairly.

In many places, people of different ethnic groups often claim their own spaces. If too many people from another ethnicity start to move in, conflicts arise. The usual responses to this "invasion" are fight or flight. Fighting involves actively rejecting them, kicking them out, killing them, or passing laws to keep them from power. Flight usually involves moving to a new space once it becomes obvious that the old space is unrecoverable. Either way, the two groups remain separate, which means there are no opportunities to mix and mingle and improve relations.

As long as two groups cannot tolerate and accept each other, conflicts will persist. And some ethnic conflicts have persisted for centuries and even produced wars, haven't they? Whether you like it or not, you come into the world as a part of history. What role have your ancestors and family played in the conflict? What do people see when they look at you, and how does that affect your relations with them? Do you want to mindlessly perpetuate the conflict so that your kids and descendants must suffer forever, or do you hope for something better? What will your legacy be in this history? Can the prejudice end with you?

STEP 5: RAISE THE BAR ON YOUR PEOPLE SKILLS

The fifth step is to hold yourself to higher standards when socializing, communicating, and interacting with others. You have to improve your people skills so that you get the most out of every interaction, rather than doing things that poison or shut down meaningful interaction. You have to be more mindful about how you come across to people. I have already recommended books on the resources page about how to socialize and communicate better.

It is a simple matter to preach tolerance and acceptance, but it is quite another matter to actually try and implement it. The fact of the matter is there are certain values that cannot be reconciled. For example, if you believe that men and women should be equal under the law, how are you going to reconcile with a culture that believes they are fundamentally unequal and should be treated unequally? It seems impossible.

This is where it's especially important to combat stereotypes through real human interaction. Stereotypes are only easy to maintain because they are abstract in your mind. When you merely think about people who are different from you, you don't think of them as real individuals, but as an abstract category or a single superficial characteristic. This must change, and an effective way is to purposely surround yourself with more people who are different from you. I often advocate this kind of exposure to foster understanding between different personality types, and the same principle applies to other human differences as well, including racial, ethnic, cultural, religious, gender, and physical differences.

If you are a member of the dominant group in society, you have never really experienced what it's like to be in the minority, and it is an experience you ought to expose yourself to, in order to truly understand the world beyond your own limited experience. The dominant group always holds the freedom to determine their own identity, whereas the minority group never feels free from majority judgment of them. Have you ever experienced such existential constraint and do you understand what negative effects it has on human psychology? Reflect more deeply on how people are bound by social, economic, and political constraints and you might find more sophisticated explanations for the "negative" behavior you observe in people.

In real human interaction, you can better connect with people as individuals, you have far more exposure to the positive side of their culture, you'll have a more nuanced understanding of what really motivates them, and you'll have more opportunity to communicate your way through differences. When two people only see each other as abstractions, stereotypes can easily be proven true, which only hardens prejudiced beliefs. But when you learn how to communicate with empathy, person to person, heart to heart, stereotypes more easily fall away, and people are more likely to soften their stance and be open to finding common ground.

Yes, there are some extreme people you will never be able to see eye-to-eye with, but you have to realize those people are in the minority. The majority of people aren't extreme and don't want conflict. Until you can do away with your abstractions and connect with people on a more human level, you'll just continue dismissing everyone you've lumped into the crude category of "bad" and consider them irredeemable, thus never discovering the majority of moderate people who are open to communication, compromise, and change. If you hope to have an influence on others, it is only fair that you open yourself up to being influenced by them. This is a very difficult but worthy endeavor if two people who would otherwise be enemies finally find some form of mutual understanding or peaceful coexistence.

Counteracting the tendency to pre-judge is hard work, even painful work, which is why many people resist or don't bother. However, if you can take on this challenge of changing your thinking and improving your people skills, you'll be opening the door to tremendous growth. You'll have a much deeper understanding of yourself, others, and the society you live in. And there are many rewards to be reaped from possessing such wisdom.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Hannah Ray Lambert

Published: Sep 10, 2024

For the second year in a row, Harvard University's "abysmal" free speech climate earned it the lowest ranking among 251 colleges and universities scored by the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE).

“This year, however, Harvard has company. Columbia University ranks 250, also with an overall score of 0.00,” reads the report released Thursday.

New York University, University of Pennsylvania and Barnard College rounded out the bottom-five colleges, according to the report.

FIRE, a pro-First Amendment nonprofit, worked with College Pulse to survey tens of thousands of students about the free speech environments on their college campuses for its annual College Free Speech Rankings.

“We’re trying to provide an indication of where students can get the best experience in college in terms of being exposed to a diverse set of views,” FIRE’s chief research adviser Sean Stevens told Fox News Digital.

A Barnard spokesperson told Fox News Digital the college is “committed to protecting academic freedom and freedom of expression, and to fostering environments where students, faculty, and staff can engage in open and respectful dialogue.”

Barnard has adopted the Chicago Principles, a free speech policy previously endorsed by FIRE, and this school year a faculty committee will develop “a Barnard-specific framework,” the spokesperson continued.

Harvard, Columbia and the University of Pennsylvania did not respond to requests for comment Wednesday.

The universities that ranked poorly all experienced incidents in which speech was censored, suppressed or shouted down, Stevens said.

Since FIRE started ranking schools in 2020, the bottom-five colleges and universities have been “consistently bad performers,” he added.

“They rarely stand up for speech,” Stevens said.

“When a controversy arises, the speech typically gets punished. A speaker gets disinvited. A faculty member gets sanctioned in some way, or a student or student organization does.”

The poor performers share another notable trait, according to FIRE’s analysis.

“Most of the students are very upset with how the administration has responded to protests over the past year,” Stevens said.

Hamas’ Oct. 7 attack on Israel and the war that followed “sent shockwaves through American college and university campuses,” according to the FIRE report. Protesters occupied the South Lawn at Columbia for about two weeks in April before police broke up the encampment.

After the start of the encampments, researchers noticed a large increase in the percentage of Columbia students who said they self-censor in classroom discussions or in conversations with professors or other students.

At the other end of the free speech spectrum, the University of Virginia earned the top ranking. Michigan Technological University, Florida State University, Eastern Kentucky University and Georgia Institute of Technology rounded out the top five.

The full rankings can be viewed here.

Stevens noted that the schools that performed well tended to have fewer controversies overall and, when controversies did arise, administrators typically defended speech rights.

He said he hopes parents and prospective students use FIRE’s ranking tool to make better-informed choices. The tool also provides a look at the liberal-conservative ratio on campuses, and a deeper look at student attitudes toward free expression.

“Experiencing open inquiry and that process, having to grapple and have their views challenged” sets students up to be better “adult citizens in our country, once they graduate,” Stevens said.

FIRE and College Pulse surveyed students at 257 schools in total, but excluded six from the main rankings and gave them “warning” ratings.

The private colleges, which include Pepperdine University, Hillsdale College, and Brigham Young University, all “have policies that clearly and consistently state” that they prioritize “other values over a commitment to freedom of speech,” according to the FIRE report.

--

Executive Summary

For the fifth year in a row, the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE), a nonprofit organization committed to defending and sustaining the individual rights of all Americans to free speech and free thought, and College Pulse surveyed college undergraduates about their perceptions and experiences regarding free speech on their campuses.

This year’s survey includes 58,807 student respondents from 257 colleges and universities. Students who were enrolled in four-year degree programs were surveyed via the College Pulse mobile app and web portal from January 25 through June 17, 2024. 

The College Free Speech Rankings are available online and are presented in an interactive dashboard (rankings.thefire.org) that allows for easy comparison between institutions. 

Key findings:

The University of Virginia is this year’s top ranked school for free speech. Michigan Technological University, Florida State University, Eastern Kentucky University, and Georgia Tech round out the top five.

Harvard University is this year’s bottom ranked school for free speech for the second year in a row. Joining it in the bottom three are Columbia University and New York University. All three of these schools have an “Abysmal” speech climate. The University of Pennsylvania and Barnard College round out the bottom five and each has a “Very Poor” speech climate.

All of the bottom five schools experienced a number of controversies involving the suppression of free expression. They also received significantly lower scores than the top five schools on “Administrative Support,” “Comfort Expressing Ideas,” and “Tolerance Difference,” which measures the strength of students’ favoritism when it comes to allowing liberal or conservative speakers on campus.

Since 2020, UVA, Michigan Tech, FSU, North Carolina State University, Oregon State University, Mississippi State University, Auburn University, George Mason University, Kansas State University, the University of Mississippi, the University of Chicago, and Claremont McKenna College have all consistently performed well in FIRE’s College Free Speech Rankings.

A majority of students (55%) said that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is difficult to “have an open and honest conversation about on campus,” a record high for a topic on this question in the five years we have asked it. At least 75% of students on 17 of the campuses surveyed responded this way to this question.

The percentages of students who said shouting down a speaker, blocking other students from entering an event, and using violence to stop a campus speech is at least “rarely” acceptable all increased since last year. 

A majority of students said that six of eight hypothetical controversial campus speakers should “probably” or “definitely��� not be allowed on campus.

Student concerns about self-censorship have declined. This year, 17% of students said they feel like they cannot express their opinion on a subject at least a couple of times a week because of how students, a professor, or the administration would respond. Last year, this percentage was 20%, and in 2022 it was 22%.

[mahayanapilgrim]

Happiness in Theravada Buddhism - 09

Mundane spiritual happiness

This is the happiness experienced when the mind is fully concentrated to the level of deep mental absorptions (Jhana) during meditation. It is a happiness that does not arise from the five internal sense bases of the eye, ear, nose, tongue and the body and hence it is non-sensual and spiritual. As long as the mind is concentrated to the level of deep absorption, one is temporarily liberated from the sensual world. So spiritual happiness experienced during the stages of deep mental absorptions is also temporary.

Certain unwholesome mental factors such as the five mental hindrances are suppressed during the deep mental absorptions but they reappear when the meditator comes out of the deep mental absorption.

In the Path of Purification (Visuddhimagga) by Buddhaghosa, development of bliss (sukha) which is similar to happiness that is being discussed here, is said to arise when a mediator enters the first deep mental absorption during concentration meditation. The aim of concentration meditation is to cultivate a state of deep concentration or one-pointedness of the mind by focussing one's attention on a single meditation object.

This state will be maintained as long as the attention of the meditator is completely absorbed into that particular object. In the Buddhist literature, forty objects or tools have been described that are suitable meditation objects for concentration meditation.

As a meditator meditates concentrating on a chosen meditation object, the mind becomes gradually concentrated reaching a state of concentration called fixed concentration (appana samadhi). As the mind becomes concentrated, the five mental hindrances are suppressed. In the Samannaphala sutta, the Buddha has described five similes to show the happiness experienced by a meditator when the five hindrances are suppressed:

Happiness of a person who had paid off a debt; a person who recovers from a serious illness; a person who is released from imprisonment, a person who is released from slavery, a person who has arrived safely after travellina throuah a danaerous area carrvina valuables.

[cosmicintro]

Cosmic ✨ Astro observations: Part 1

Mars in the 12th house: Lots of (accumulated) energy, anger, distress and frustrating thoughts that are suppressed, hard to share and let out. A feeling of restlessness. There might be insomnia or frequent difficulty with bedtime associated with intense, non-stop brain activity. The individual may have (frequent) sexual fantasies that they haven’t shared or disclosed to anybody. Vivid dreams. It is also a common placement for people who experienced aggression, exposure to violent/hostile environments or abrupt death in a recent past life. A positive mars in this house can give them the chance to explore many different things (jobs, travel, etc), however, the individual has to make sure to direct this great influx of energy towards the the right direction (their objectives, goals and dreams), as their mind will always be active and kind of restless.

Chiron in the 1st house: Individuals with this placement may have experienced deep insecurities associated with a negative body image from an early age, self-rejection or a difficulty accepting (parts of) their own self. There might be frequent feelings and/or thoughts of something being wrong with them or feeling misunderstood. This makes it easier for them to help or advise people experiencing similar issues or going through the same situation. As these individuals work on themselves and embark on their self-discovery journey, they have the potential to become very mature, aware and develop a great sense of empathy and understanding with themselves and humanity. If Chiron falls in a water sign, it makes these issues more emotional and difficult to share. 

Saturn in the 3rd house: People with this placement might experience a feeling of angst when it comes to speaking their minds and communicating with other people (specially when they are young). It might be difficult for this individual to make friends or approach other people without getting anxious, shy, stressed, etc. Many of this issues arise from a fear of being rejected or judged for who they are. They might even feel as it is impossible for them to have a social circle or people to interact with, pushing them to avoid social environments and/or crowds overall. These issues get better with time, as these individuals find themselves in situations where they are forced to show up and be part of conversations, discussions, etc. Repeated exposure and getting over the fear of rejection can make them experts and confident at handling social encounters smoothly and expressing themselves freely.

Stay tuned for more! ⚡️

[gothhabiba]

about the scientific metaphors. this is slighly different but still highly related in my mind. I have a whole textbook that just deals with common misconceptions about highschool level physics. I have to use this book frequently, so the ideas from your post seem very mundane to me, I don't know what that person's problems are. Anyways.

The vast majority of the misconceptions in the book arise because of differences between the everyday usage of words and the way the same words are used in a scientific context. And the book is very careful to stress that choosing language is increddibly important if you want to communicate scientific discoveries etc. without causing more harm than good and inducing these and other misconceptions.

i don't know if this is also from the book or just something our professor told us, but these misconceptions are persisent independent of the level of education you attain/recieve in physics! you just get better at suppressing them in favour of the more correct explanations you learn at university etc. but the initial impulse is to describe physics phenomena in colloquial, intuitive but wrong ways, even if you know better, more correct explanations.

Yeah, physics is a large part of what I was thinking of when I said that other fields also make extensive use of metaphor!

It makes sense that metaphor of this kind would be intuitively reached for and only consciously suppressed (if one is attentive and rigorous enough to suppress it, that is).

Taylor and Dewsbury write about Lakoff and Johnson’s "theory of conceptual metaphor," which

posits that the nature of human cognition is metaphorical, and that all knowledge emerges as a result of embodied physical and social experiences. Under this view, metaphors are not mere linguistic embellishments. Rather, they are foundations for thought processes and conceptual understandings that function to map meaning from one knowledge and/or perceptual domain to another. When attempting to make sense of abstract, intangible phenomena, we draw from embodied experiences and look to concrete entities to serve as cognitive representatives.

Niebert and Gropengießer use this theory of conceptual metaphor to argue that scientific metaphor is just as conceptual (rather than 'merely' linguistic) and embodied as that in everyday language:

In recent years, researchers have become aware of the experiential grounding of scientific thought. Accordingly, research has shown that metaphorical mappings between experience-based source domains and abstract target domains are omnipresent in everyday and scientific language. The theory of conceptual metaphor explains these findings based on the assumption that understanding is embodied. Embodied understanding arises from recurrent bodily and social experience with our environment. As our perception is adapted to a medium-scale dimension, our embodied conceptions originate from this mesocosmic scale.

So of course scientists wouldn't be magically immune to or separate from this kind of thinking.

At a glance it looks like there's a decent body of scholarly work discussing the potential origins, uses, and pitfalls of scientific conceptual metaphor for understanding, learning, research, and scicomm.

[spirkme915]

for the spirk song drabbles: hounds of love by kate bush! 💜

so, uh, i’m apparently really really bad at drabbles? i swear i tried to make this short and that just…didn’t happen.

this is more like a mini-fic. aos-verse, no content warnings, just a lot of feels and pining. this song screams pining spirk! thank you for sending it 💙

mini-fic that’s supposed to be a drabble under the cut:

James T. Kirk is not a man to be trapped or held.

The Enterprise’s captain is, admittedly, kidnapped and taken hostage more times than the average Starfleet captain, but to remain a captive? Never.

There are many things Spock has learned about Kirk in the two years they’ve served together on the Enterprise - that he prefers his coffee black and his whiskey neat, that he remembers the name of every member of his crew and (conveniently) forgets regulations, that he celebrates successes and mourns the loss of life. But it is this aspect of Kirk’s personality that intrigues Spock the most:

James T. Kirk refuses to be caught.

The origins of that drive are not a mystery to Spock. The captain’s personnel file is both heavily redacted and does not account for large spans of time, but it is the captain himself who fills in the blank spaces. Spock comes to learn about the abuse and neglect over late nights spent on reports when a mission goes bad. He picks up the threads of trauma in unfinished sentences when they sit with a chessboard between them. He weaves together the narrative through Kirk’s insistence on always carrying rations, around the penchant for self-sacrifice, and in Kirk’s flinch when Winona Kirk comms her son.

This knowledge is, admittedly, becoming a problem for Spock.

Not a problem in the sense that it is his responsibility to see to the welfare and safety of a captain who values others more than himself. No, Spock embraces that responsibility and treasures the trust Kirk holds in him. He has found a new equilibrium at Kirk’s side, a renewed drive. A shared purpose.

The problem arises in Kirk’s hand circled around Spock’s wrist or the brush of their shoulders as they walk down the Enterprise’s corridors in deep discussion. The problem sparks at the edges of Spock’s psionic field, Kirk’s mind reaching for his. There is a a compatibility between them, one that has rooted itself at the center of Spock’s mind and refuses to be denied - their potential for a bond growing every day, tying them together in a way that would be irreversible. A permanent bond Kirk would not want.

Therefore, on this, Spock will never act. He knows all too well that James T. Kirk will belong to no one but himself.

“That went much better than I could’ve expected,” Kirk says. His hair is mussed from running his fingers through it, his dress uniform unclasped at the top, revealing a sliver of skin turned silver in the moonlight. Kirk presses his shoulder into Spock’s and smiles. “You saved my ass in there.”

“I was not aware the Zeppelian heir to the throne had threatened your gluteal muscles, Captain.”

Kirk’s laugh is automatic - loud and bright.

Spock suppresses a smile, yet allows satisfaction to ease the set of his shoulders. To coax that uninhibited sound from his captain is an honor greater than their success with the newest Federation members tonight.

It is not uncomfortable once Kirk’s laughter fades into the nighttime air and silence falls between them again. They’re seated on rocks next to the lake at the center of the capital city of Zeppel. The lingering blue in the sky reminds Spock of San Francisco, but with the scattering of stars in a foreign configuration, the Enterprise a distant pinprick of light above the horizon.

The treaty ceremony concluded hours ago - moving swiftly into a celebration - and they’re sheltered in a cove, music and laughter from the celebration a whisper carried on the breeze. A fluted crystalline glass dangles from Kirk’s fingertips, long empty and never refilled.

“Seriously, though?” Kirk says. His gaze drifts from the water to Spock. “Thank you. I had no idea how to handle it when they insisted only a marriage between me and the heir would finalize the treaty. I’m used to strange requests, and I’ve done some pretty off the wall things to finalize a treaty, but that one...” Kirk grimaces. “Not happening.”

There are no caveats to that statement - “... unless it’s with the right person” or “maybe later.” It is a definitive statement of fact - Kirk will never bind himself to another.

Kaiidth.

“Then it is fortunate my research on Zeppelian culture uncovered how vital loyalty is to their social structure, and that your oath to Starfleet superseded their request.”

“Their cultural adherence to loyalty is, as you would say, fascinating. It seems incredibly inflexible, though. Do you find it logical?”

“In a way,” Spock says. “Honor, respect, and honesty are at the core of their daily existence. While those traits may not lead to wholly logical actions, they provide a shared moral foundation. That is eminently logical.”

“They trust each other.”

“I believe they do.”

“Do you trust me, Spock?”

The question is unexpected; his answer requires no thought.

“Yes.”

“And I’d like to think that there’s honor, respect, and honesty between us.”

“There is, Captain.”

“Therefore, loyalty. You know, between us.”

Spock’s eyebrows furrow unbidden. While he and Kirk can frequently convey meaning and intentions through few words - occasionally, with merely a glance - there are other times when the leaps of Kirk’s mind are too great for Spock to bridge the divide. This is one of those times.

He is aware Kirk is working up to a point, but is unclear what it could be.

“I believe so, yes.”

“Okay.” Kirk sets his glass aside then turns in toward Spock. His blue eyes are nearly as darkened as the sky. “So tell me, what would you have done if Zeppelian society wasn’t built on loyalty? What if there had been no other choice but for me to either marry the heir or dive bomb the treaty?”

Spock restrains a frown. “As that is not what came to pass, I see no need for such conjecture.”

“Well, I do. I mean, you swore an oath too - to Starfleet, to our ship, and our crew. And, knowing my luck, it’s possible a scenario like this will come up again. So. What would you have done?”

He hears the question Kirk is actually asking - where would his loyalties have lied?

It should be an easy answer.

There are regulations and protocols. A formalized system by which the first officer maintains their duty to the mission, ship, and crew at all times. It is a formalized system that Kirk eschews on a regular basis, but never without a valid reason - this much Spock knows about his captain too. Therefore, if Spock had chosen to bypass regulation and take alternative action, Kirk likely would have approved. It is not solely he who trusts Kirk, Kirk’s trust in him runs just as deep.

Beyond regulation and the path he did choose, however, his first thought when the Zeppelian heir proposed to Kirk was to take his captain and run. It was not logical, not protocol. It was instinct. Raw, protective (possessive?) instinct.

If the Zeppelian culture was not built on loyalty and Kirk had been forced to choose between marriage and nullifying the treaty, Spock would have whisked him off the planet without a look back.

He holds Kirk gaze and considers his words carefully. “A treaty can be renegotiated. The captain, however… He cannot be replaced. A starship runs on loyalty to one man.”

“A starship, Spock? Or you?”

As Kirk’s first officer - effectively just as much a tool and a resource for his captain as the ship - he wants to argue they are one and the same. But they are not. Of course they are not.

Spock opens his mouth. Closes it.

He does not know how to answer.

Kirk holds the silence, holds Spock in a piercing gaze, then arches a rounded brow. “I’m going to give you a minute to think about that one.”

Kirk stands then and steps toward the lake. There is no possibility of Spock restraining his shock when Kirk unfastens his dress tunic and summarily drops it onto the beach. Even less of a chance when Kirk bends down to unzip his boots, kicks them off, then removes his socks. At Kirk’s hands on his waistband, working the clasp open, Spock can be nothing but sure what his captain intends to do next.

He inhales sharply and has just enough oxygen in his lungs to say, “Captain -”

“It’s Jim. I’m about to go skinny-dipping, so we’re definitely off-duty.”

“Jim,” Spock accedes. “Are you certain this is wise?”

The light of two Zeppelian moons shines down on the tilt of Kirk’s lips, highlights the gleam in Kirk’s eyes.

“Wise? Probably not. Necessary? Oh yeah.”

Kirk sheds his dress pants as well, then his regulation underwear, and Spock should look away. He really should.

It is not the first time he has seen Kirk naked. However, it is the first time outside of averted eyes during decontamination or a stolen glimpse crossing to the showers after sparring. It is the first time Kirk - Jim - has stood before him unabashedly, as if he is inviting Spock to look.

So Spock does, his heartbeat racing out of his control.

The “minute” Jim gave him to think on that question has long passed, and yet Spock remains silent.

It is you, he thinks.

He is driven by loyalty to one man - this man - and he would sacrifice himself without hesitation to ensure the universe did not lose Jim’s inherent light.

Jim brandishes a smile then takes to the water, immersing himself, his intrusion spreading ripples that fracture the stars mirrored on the surface. Spock inhales sharply and doesn’t follow.

He will not chase what does not want to be caught.

Jim reappears off the shore, slicking the water out of his hair. Silver moonlight hangs on his eyelashes as he looks up to the sky.

“You know, Spock… Loyalty, honor, respect, trust… I don’t doubt for a second that we have that in spades. But honesty? It would be a hell of a lot easier for us to be honest with each other if you could be honest with yourself.”

Spock tips his head. “I do not understand.”

“I’m right here,” Jim says. It sounds like a plea. “And I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to run from me.”

A spark flares at the center of his mind. Spock shivers, smothers the light.

“Jim,” he says, his voice laced with a hesitancy he did not know was there. “It is not I who is running.”

“You sure about that?”

No.

Quite suddenly, he is not.

What would he have done? Where do his loyalties lie? He has swept those answers to the side, taken a step away when their shoulders brushed, retreated from the warmth of a hand around his wrist, and shielded himself against that light at the center of his mind.

All of it because of fear.

He has left so he is not left behind, but why would he behave so with this man of all men?

The lake spreads out behind Jim like a cape of stars, a universe of pain that he carries on his back, and yet he’s always held Spock close.

Jim has earned loyalty, honor, respect, and trust.

He deserves honesty.

With Jim, there is nothing to fear.

Spock sheds his dress tunic, his boots and socks. He leaves all else in a pile next Jim’s discarded clothes and enters the water.

James T. Kirk is not a man to be trapped or held. He is a man to be treasured, protected. Loved.

Jim slips his arm around Spock’s waist and Spock stops running.

[arguablysustainable]

The Dangers of Sweatshops

(Source: https://peppermintmag.com/sweatshop/)

(Source: https://www.cnn.com/style/article/rana-plaza-garment-worker-rights-accord/index.html)

Through recent years, there has always been concerns with the fashion industry and their devastating consequences they leave on our environment. Whenever sustainability concerns arise regarding the harmful impacts of the fashion industry, many tend to turn a blind eye when it comes to the discussion of sweatshops. The problem today, is that many consumers have no clue where their SheIn top comes from or who even makes the clothes their clothes at the least. It is important for consumers to know how sweatshops are responsible for producing the majority of our clothes and understand the negative environment they have to endure in order for them to earn for a living. Before we learn how unethical sweatshops are, we must learn what they are and how they usually operate.

What are Sweatshops?

(Source: https://medium.com/maverickyouth/inside-the-ugliness-of-the-fast-fashion-industry-ac40f6a24e01)

(Source: https://www.businessinsider.com/how-nike-fixed-its-sweatshop-image-2015-6)

Sweatshops are often referred to as a crowded workplace where workers are met with low pay, socially unacceptable or illegal working conditions. The term originated in the late 19th century some employers would make sure that their workers "sweat" in order to meet the maximum amount of profits. Now you may wonder, "why do they exist?" From an economical standpoint, we have seen a price decline in apparel by 1.8% per year. Moreover, despite the negative impacts of sweatshops, they are an important step in economic development. This means that this is the only way for workers to alleviate themselves from poverty. Another reason being for the existence of sweatshops is because developing countries often experience suppression of unions by multinationals and government. Most Importantly, it should be remembered that these nations also have a desperate workforce. Factors such as pressure on retailers to increase profits, consumer demand for low priced apparel, and monitoring difficulty is what keeps a sweatshop up and going. Let's take a look as to how this structured industry affects garment workers.

1. Low Wage

(Source: https://www.aier.org/article/do-employers-exploit-workers-with-low-wages/)

(Source: https://www.wsj.com/articles/who-really-gets-the-minimum-wage-1404683348)

Often times, garment workers experience low wages with as little as $4 cents for producing $45 dollars worth of clothing. This is an issue in countries such as China since workers often work long hours with little pay. Sometimes they will even work overtime with no pay at all. The reason why garment workers experience low pay is due the retailer not paying enough to manufacture the clothing. If retailers demand manufacturers to accept cheap production costs, the factory owners will often have no choice but to accept that pay. Therefore, the owners decide to pay the workers a low wage.

2. Working With Harsh Chemicals

(source: https://greenamerica.org/program/toxic-textiles)

When working with textiles, workers come across hazardous chemicals or material with little ventilation in the factory. When worker come in contact with these chemicals, they can pass through the skin and into the bloodstream. The reason for the existence of toxic chemicals in the workplace is due to the synthetic dyes and production of textiles. According to CBC, it was reported that high levels of lead, PFA's, and phthalates were found in children's, adults, and maternity clothes accessories from fast fashion giants such as SheIn, Ali Express, and Zaful. With that being said, it is important to know what is in your clothes and how they are made as not many consumers are aware of what kind of toxic chemicals can be in their fast fashion clothing.

3. Abuse

(Source: https://www.greenamerica.org/world-hurt/8-things-you-didnt-know-were-made-sweatshop-labor)

According to Global Labor Justice, it was reported that women experienced gender-based violence across the supply chain of companies such as H&M and GAP. A garment worker who works in the supply chain for H&M recalled the time where she was pushed to the floor and kicked by her batch supervisor for not meeting the maximum goal. Back in 2018, members of the Karnataka Labor Union in India were also physically assaulted by management and called slurs for requesting demands related to wages and other working conditions. Unfortunately it is common for women to often experience retaliation for unionization and speaking out against workplace issues such as sexual harassment, wage, and other unjust conditions. This issue persists in South Asian countries such as Bangladesh, India, Jakarta, and so on.

Just Because Sweatshops Exists in Other Countries Doesn't mean they Don't exist in the U.S...

(Source: https://www.dailynews.com/2023/03/28/some-southern-california-sweatshop-garment-workers-paid-as-little-as-1-58-an-hour-says-report/)

As we see how most fast fashion companies produce their clothing in developing countries, we must not forget that garment workers here in cities such as Los Angeles are also exploited for low wages. According to an investigation initiated by the U.S. Department of Labor, it was found that workers were paid as little as $1.58 an hour. Contractors and manufacturers included in this report are companies such as Dillards, Lululemon, Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, and so on. Some factories are even found to falsify their records or not providing a salary for their workers. Since undocumented immigrants makeup the majority of workers, they cannot seek legal protection under the Fair Labor Standards Act and also fear being deported for speaking out.

(Source: https://fashionista.com/2020/10/la-garment-workers-ethical-fashion-manufacturing-sweatshops)

The existence of sweatshops prove to be harmful in many ways. Unsafe working conditions for very low wages and very long hours shouldn't be the norm for garment workers. It is important that we must hold fast fashion companies accountable for mass producing clothing in countries that are known to violate human rights in garment factories. Next time when shopping for clothing, it is important to know how transparent companies are in regards to their supply chain so you as a consumer know who manufacturers your clothes.

Next week tune in to learn about natural dyes and how you can make your own DIY dyes using natural ingredients such as fruits, vegetables, and plants!

Written by Abigail Reyes

[wasted-wallflower-blog]

Reprieve

I'm still finishing up Chapter Nine for TWtIWY, but I figured I would work on some Omegaverse Stancest trash and see if y'all want some more. I'm back on my bullshit besties.

Stanley looks awful. Dreadful. Terrible. 

Multiple synonyms arise in Ford’s mind, but it doesn’t change the fact that his twin is currently lying in a hospital bed, beaten within an inch of his life, covered in mottled bruises, and far too thin. 

“Stan, you idiot,” Ford breathes. It’s been years - ten long, tortuous years to be precise - and Stan’s living situation must have been far worse than his own. Briefly, he had wondered what Stanley was up to, before pushing that thought down into the depths of his subconscious. God. This is his fault. If only he had listened, if only he hadn’t been so convinced of his superiority that Stan deserved a good punch to the face. If Ford wasn’t such a fucking imbecile, Stan wouldn’t be here. 

He tastes salt. When did he start crying? Ford wipes his face hastily. The beep of the heart monitor goes on, droning in and out along with the sound of Stan’s breathing. 

Stan appears to open his mouth, attempting to get more air into his undoubtedly crushed rib cage. And then, a weak “Stanford?” reaches his ears. 

“I’m here. I’m - Stanley, I’m so sorry -” 

“You came.” Stan’s eyes flutter open, bloodshot sclera doing nothing to hide the deep, rich, awe-filled brown of his irises. 

“Of course I did.” 

““Didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” Stan slurs, the words stumbling over one another. “You’ve grown up.” 

Ford lets out a shaky, almost timid laugh. “It’s been a while. You have as well.” 

“No, I mean,” Stan squints, attempting to move his arm - the one not in the cast -  and says, “you’ve gotten, y’know.” 

“I don’t know, actually.” 

“Pretty.” The word leaves Stan’s lips carelessly. “Prettiest O I’ve ever seen.” 

Ford blinks, stares, and blinks again. What? “Stanley, I think you’re -” 

“Stanford Pines?” 

He turns, facing the doctor that called earlier. Dr. Maheswaran, according to her badge: tall, thin and beta. Utterly professional. “It may be best to discuss your brother’s condition outside.”  

Stan makes a discontented sound, nearly a growl, and the hair on the back of Ford’s neck stands up. This is … not good. Not good at all. 

"I'll be back."

The hallway of the hospital, small and sterile, has a tile on the floor out of place. Ford stares at it, feeling suddenly tired, his earlier manic, desperate energy fading. It powered him through the drive from Gravity Falls to Sacramento, but every energy reserve has to run out sometime.

“He’s stable, much more so than when he first came in. His injuries will take a while to heal, but there’s no internal hemorrhaging or organ failure, and he’s not concussed. However,” Dr. Maheswaran's tone grows serious, “he’s been skipping suppressants. I assume it has to do with lack of coverage by insurance, but he should be taking ten milligrams of AR daily -” 

“AR?” 

“It’s the brand name, but any suppressant will do. Given your twin’s decreased medical access, it’s imperative that he take a form of suppressant, ideally with scent blockers or synthetic hormonal contraceptives.” 

“I don’t understand,” Ford says, helplessly. “I haven’t seen Stanley in ten years. We were estranged. The last time we talked, he hadn’t even presented, and even then, his test results indicated he would be beta.” 

“Stanley is an Alpha. It’s not too uncommon for Alpha presentations to occur later than those of beta and Omegas. You’re an Omega, unbonded and unmated. Stanley has indicated his preference to stay with you during his recovery. Given his age and presumably close proximity to you, pre-Rut symptoms will most likely occur within the next few weeks.”

Ford swallows. It all makes sense. Stan’s sudden displeasure when he left, his immediate detection of Ford’s own status (no doubt due to increased olfactory senses), how, despite his current condition, he’s broad and retained some muscle in his arms. Alpha.

He’s in over his head. 

Dr. Maheswaran regards him, her gaze softening. “This is a lot to take in at once. I … heard the comment he made towards you. If you would prefer to have him stay elsewhere -” 

“No, it’s just,” he feels his cheeks heat, “it’s probably the painkillers. He didn’t mean that.” 

“If you’re certain.” 

“I am. No one would mean that, not with my hands.” Omega and unable to be courted, what an ironic twist of fate, Ford thinks, bitterly. He doesn’t want Stan to say sweet nothings. Not if he’s the only, or rather, only convenient Omega around. 

That settles it. 

“Stanley can stay with me. I assure you, nothing will happen.”

[radical-revolution]

Vairagya and Abhyasa – How to Deal with the Stormy Mind

Sutras 12 through 16 of Book One of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

Yoga Sutras 1:12. Their suppression [is brought about] by persistent practice [abhyasa] and non-attachment [vairagya].

Two things are needed for the ending of mental modifications. One is abhyasa–sustained spiritual practice. This is why Krishna speaks of abhyasa yoga. The other is purely psychological: vairagya. A Brief Sanskrit Glossary defines vairagya as:“Non-attachment; detachment; dispassion; absence of desire; disinterest; or indifference. Indifference towards and disgust for all worldly things and enjoyments.”

What is “Practice” (Abhyasa)?

13. Abhyasa is the effort for being firmly established in that state [of chitta-vritti-nirodha].

Jnaneshvara Bharati expands on this, saying: “Abhyasa means choosing, applying the effort, and doing those actions that bring a stable and tranquil state.” Shankara simply says that abhyasa consists of the observance of yama and niyama, which are to be discussed later on.

14. It [abhyasa] becomes firmly grounded on being continued for a long time, without interruption and with reverent devotion.

Vyasa: “Carried through with austerity, with brahmacharya, with knowledge and with faith, in reverence it becomes firmly grounded.”

Shankara: “Unless it is for a long time, and unless it is uninterrupted, the practice does not become firmly grounded.”

What is “non-attachment” (Vairagya)?

15. The consciousness of perfect mastery [of desires] in the case of one who has ceased to crave for objects, seen or unseen, is Vairagya.

Sri Ramakrishna said: “A certain woman said to her husband: ‘So-and-so has developed a spirit of great dispassion for the world, but I don’t see anything of the sort in you. He has sixteen wives. He is giving them up one by one.’ The husband, with a towel on his shoulder, was going to the lake for his bath. He said to his wife: ‘You are crazy! He won’t be able to give up the world. Is it ever possible to renounce bit by bit? I can renounce. Look! Here I go.’ He didn’t stop even to settle his household affairs. He left home just as he was, the towel on his shoulder, and went away. That is intense renunciation.

Ramakrishna on Vairagya

“There is another kind of renunciation, called ‘markata vairagya,’ ‘monkey renunciation.’ A man, harrowed by distress at home, puts on an ochre robe and goes away to Benares. For many days he does not send home any news of himself. Then he writes to his people: ‘Don’t be worried about me. I have got a job here.”

Vairagya is not an on-and-off matter, but a permanent cessation of any desire for any object whatsoever. Vyasa says that one with true vairagya “is inwardly aware of the defects in objects by the power of his meditation.”

16. That is the highest Vairagya in which, on account of the awareness of the Purusha, there is cessation of the least desire for the Gunas.

The preceding sutra was about vairagya in relation to objects. This goes further and speaks of dispassion-desirelessness is relation to the three modes of Prakriti, the gunas. These are discussed at length in the Bhagavad Gita, but simply put they are the three modes of energy behavior–qualities of energy. A Brief Sanskrit Glossary defines guna as: “Quality, attribute, or characteristic arising from nature (Prakriti) itself; a mode of energy behavior.

As a rule, when “guna” is used it is in reference to the three qualities of Prakriti, the three modes of energy behavior that are the basic qualities of nature, and which determine the inherent characteristics of all created things. They are:

sattwa–purity, light, harmony;

rajas–activity, passion; and

tamas–dullness, inertia, and ignorance.”

There can be attachment to the qualities of subtlety, intelligence, and purity (sattwa), of effectiveness and efficiency and mastery (rajas), and stability and steadiness (tamas). But these, too, are illusory like other objects.

However such vairagya does not come from insight into the nature of objects or gunas but from knowing the Self. Only when we enter fully into the Self will all desire of any kind cease. For that reason Self-knowledge or atma-jnana should be our aim at all times, for that alone will eliminate all that stands between us and perfect freedom (moksha or jivanmukti).

***This article is an excerpt from Swami Nirmalananda’s commentary on Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras Yoga: Science of the Absolute