#such as Internal Family Systems (IFS therapy)

[wegotisms]

Something that's actually helped me a lot with telling the difference is the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework and parts work. It's a little specific to addressing this problem in people with CPTSD/trauma related diagnoses, but I think the general ideas behind it are pretty widely applicable no matter your brand of brain chemistry.

The idea behind IFS is that we are moreso the sum of many parts rather than just one animal/person/identity/personality/individual/thing/whatever. From my experience, the parts come from the events through our lives that kind of shape us -- for example, for me, a caretaker part, a bunch of scared kids, an academic, etc etc. A lot of these come from my particular tragic backstory, but not all of them are negative/the result of trauma.

LET ME BE CLEAR: THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS DID OR BEING A SYSTEM.

This is not legitimate multiple personalities/alters or a dissociative disorder or even a diagnosis at all. It's moreso a framework for understanding yourself and where certain trauma responses/behaviors/feelings come from, with the goal of forming a more compassionate and understanding relationship with yourself.

In having defined those parts of me in therapy and developing pretty good relationships with them, it's pretty easy for me to figure out what is causing certain feelings to come up and where friction or dysfunction is coming from.

So in the context of the above, sometimes my caretaker/worksona/whatever is just burnt out and tired. If I can tell the overwhelm and executive dysfunction are coming from there, I figure out what those parts need, which is usually rest and to be taken care of a bit.

If I can tell it's coming from one of the scared kids, I sit with them, and sometimes the dysfunction is coming from an emotional flashback or overwhelm or a trauma response, and taking a moment to be mindful and comfort them usually helps me get back on track.

And sometimes if it isn't coming from any of those parts, I just fucking forgot to take my Adderall.

It's taken years of work both with trauma informed therapists and on my own to get to a spot where I'm able to understand myself to that degree, but it is so so so so helpful and life-changing for me. Being a therapeutic framework/tool it isn't for everyone, but I hope it can help some people reading this :))

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

[findmeinthefallair]

Mindscape, based on this post I made weeks ago

The yellow light is Flapjack's life force 😭😭😭😭

[kellymagovern]

Internal Family Systems (IFS) explained [x]

[partsofafaeling]

What confuses me about other questioning systems is when they hear voices and still deny the possibility of being a system

Like I don’t hear voices at all but I act in ways I can’t control. Some people call that impulsivity

But straight up voices in your head is like the KING SYMPTOM lol

This is no hate, acceptance is hard, it’s just something I noticed that is different between me and other questioning people

[ains-disco-spam]

I wanna write a detailed analysis/argumentative essay about how the skills in disco elysium can be seen as an analogy for parts work/internal family systems therapy. I don't care if anyone else will ever read it it just has to be done

[aura-oracle]

When I began to explain to my new therapist about having different parts that I have named and that it’s not like how DiD has them but I’m not like a single person, that I’m in the middle, she begins to explain how everyone has many parts and she pulls out the No Bad Parts book to show me. Do you think Median systems are the same as IFS? Or similar/can relate to them? I did not use the term median as therapists for the most part would probably not have heard of it. I do not think it is an official term after all. It was created online internet to describe an experience many have. My median parts each have names, personalities, likes, viewpoints, and different outlook on life yet they’re each still me. They are mes who felt like different names fit them better.

[sophieinwonderland]

Confirming- in IFS you aren’t creating new parts. You’re more so learning how to better tune into and listen to parts that are already there. Hope that helps clarify a little.

Thanks for clarifying. Have you done IFS? If I could ask a bit more about how all this works, how autonomous are the parts? How individualized are they? Are they able to take over the body?

Actually, I think I realized one issue I have with a lot of information about internal family system that is out there. It is all, to use a plural term, host-centric. That is to say that while I have seen people talk about communicating with their parts and I have seen therapists describe patients communicating with their parts, one thing that I have never seen described is what it is like from the perspective of the parts themselves. That's the missing piece for me.

With that in mind, assuming that these parts are autonomous and can communicate with you in words, would it be too much trouble to ask if you could let a part describe their experiences to me, what it's like just being a part, and you can transcribe it for them?

[fragmentedfae-userboxes]

Hello! We’re @partsofafaeling or the Dollhouse System

Either works

We use mostly parts language and IFS language but we’re pretty sure we’re OSDD1a or PDID

We would LOVE requests and look forward to yours!

We are anti-endo, anti-mixed origin, only stand by Traumagenic and have no interest in syscourse

I prefer pro endos to not use my boxes but I’m also not going to be surprised if endo supporters do use my userboxes or request anonymously

Just know I block freely

[golddustdyke]

i'm starting IFS with my therapist and i've been naming my parts. one of my parts is called walmart. another is called unimaginable horror. in therapy today i discovered a new part and i knew immediately her name was shirley temple. me, walmart, unimaginable horror, and shirley temple are the trauma brothers <3

[melodymorningdew]

I am honoring my true self by allowing myself space to be enraged.

I love you, me. Your anger is valid. I ignored you for too long and I'm sorry.

[everythingfeelswrong]

Relatable.

started IFS therapy and it’s been rocking my world

This one got a bit too busy, especially up top and at the roots.

Inspo

[paracharas]

Paracharas (Paracosm Characters)

is a sideblog by @selkra-souza centered around their parts, the inside out fandom and plurality, three things that surprisingly has a lot of overlap. You can find original art posts about their parts and paracosm HERE. Check out this blog’s writings at #self tag.

Disgust is the leading emotion because he’s the best at getting tasks done, which is apparently what matters most in life. He’s meticulous and persnickety. And, he pays close attention to details, unless it’s about people. He’s not a people person. He loves fruit, bugs and dirt gardening!

#green tag

Love considers himself a hopeless romantic even though he doesn’t know what romance is. He values friendship, intimacy, found family and cute plushies. His dirty jokes and bubbly snark often annoys Disgust. He loves baking and strawberries!

#pink tag

Joy is the “inner child” that Souza hardly ever let go. He’s impulsive, energetic and hardly has an “inside voice”. He knows long term contentment is built on making time to enjoy the little things in life. His endless optimism contrasts with Glooms’ perpetual pessimism.

#yellow tag

Gloom (aka Sadness) is the most sociable part, which is why she’s informally second in command. She’s the most empathetic and the best at handling conversations. As emotionally intelligent as she is, if she got her way completely, Souza would be lounging on the floor all day eating chips.

#blue tag

Like Disgust, Anger’s not sociable and similarly gets irritated by people. She also spends maybe too much time scribbling up responses and comebacks for imaginary arguments. Even though she’s the most intense emotion, she’s also the most protective.

#red tag

Fear is pretty chill most of the time until Disgust reminds her of an upcoming due date. She’s fascinated by liminal spaces, and frequently explores the subconscious whenever Souza is asleep. She’s cautious but in favor of novel experiences like visiting new places and small talk with new people.

#purple tag

I do not claim to be an expert on the IFS (internal family systems) therapy model, I'm new to it myself in fact! I just think it's neat and I'm interested in talking about it. I've curated a playlist on the subject below.

Handy Dandy IFS Youtube Playlist HERE

[raining-tulips]

parts work is wild

[partsofafaeling]

How do you tell if you have a fictive?

How do you tell if a part/alter is a fictive?

Please leave an answer or even an anon ask @fragmentedfae-userboxes if you don’t like commenting, I won’t post it

I just need help

[elftwink]

have to work on a project today and an unrelated thing happened that just made me so so so so so mad (just some irl personal stuff), which normally derails my entire day because i find it so hard to come out of the angry/upset state and tend to just circle back and obsess over whatever triggered it but! today after 20 minutes of that i had a council meeting about it (<- what i call my decision making process) the outcome of which was putting it aside (!!!) for later when i could actually talk about it and resolve it (!!!) & in the meantime we could just do other stuff.

local man exuberant and jubilated to achieve feats of basic emotional self-regulation and was seen excitedly telling reporters he "never thought this day would come" and began giving a thank you speech to nobody in particular. more on this story as it develops

[sophieinwonderland]

Yes, I’d say parts in IFS can be autonomous. They can control the body if the body is triggered, for example. But they can control the body in more subtle ways too. A perfectionist part may drive the body to always perform well at work. If receiving criticism, they may take it to heart and berate themselves and feel driven to overwork themselves. If they’ve done work with IFS, they may be able to allow “self” energy to step in and recognize that their perfectionist part is present and do work with the part to help ease the pain. If anything, I’d say more often than not, at least with myself, I’m more often controlled by my parts than in Self, as Self energy can be difficult to access, especially when under stress.

Essentially much of the time it is protectors who are out and running the show. These protectors are there to protect exiles, or very young parts of ourselves who hold much of our pain and suffering. In my case, exiles seem to most often appear when dealing with attachment issues. It’s taken meds, a consistent meditation practice, and a lot of therapy for me to be able to not be completely flooded by these parts. I can’t necessarily control when they appear, nor do I want to will them out as they cause me to act out. If anything, it is the Self energy that is willed out, if that makes sense.

Not everyone will approach IFS the same way. Some people may give their parts ages and names or labels. I prefer to keep it more fluid. Granted, I can see how defining my parts might make it easier to work with them. IFS might suggest there’s a part that blocks me from defining them (I do have a part that frequently shows resistance to doing the work). I could sit with that part and learn that maybe there’s a fear if I do. Also as with any modality, you take what fits. Leave behind what doesn’t. There’s not a right or wrong way. You do what makes sense and works for you.

Btw, not sure if you already know this, but just in case, being in Self energy is showing what they call the 8 Cs: compassion, curiosity, clarity, etc. If you google it should show up!

(This came in separately from the last anon before I responded to it, and I'm pretty sure it's a different person.)

Thank you so much for this explanation of IFS! It's given me a lot to think about, and I really appreciated this perspective! 💖