#no bad parts

[aleatoryw]

I've been reading No Bad Parts, which is about internal family systems therapy, and immediately off the bat it is giving me better mental health advice than any other book, article, or healthcare worker ever has. highly recommend, especially if you currently or in the past dealt with self harm or overwhelming emotions

[unofficialchronicle]

Obsessed with this cover of

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model (Chinese Edition) Paperback – March 1, 2022

by Richard C Schwartz Richard C Schwartz (Author)

[thrivingwhilemultiple]

Those who climbed off the rack and picked up the whip found a devilish salvation… twisting themselves into unrecognizable knots in order to evade the inescapable.

We call them "bad", we call them "scary", and we push them away.

But when we do, they continue to hear what they've always heard, and now they're hearing it from the very ones for whom they sacrificed themselves.

– Monster

___ TWM: healing, perseverance, and hope… Personal stories of living, recovering, and thriving with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

[rolypolyjolie]

“All Parts Welcome” — @eljayetc — 2024

[nerdypipsqueak]

"The Self isn't content to just observe. It's not compassionate to passively watch suffering beings parade by."

I love all of you and I want to help you and look after you. But you need to trust me. You make up who I am and we are in this together.

[dontmindme-just-whatevering]

Arcane Season 2 is amazing and if you think differently you’re wrong. You’re just disappointed that it wasn’t what was in your head.

[bicycle-brakes]

protectors are the playground bullies.

don’t be friends with that kid, they’re weird.

they put down others (externally and/or internally) to protect us from feeling those same flaws in ourselves.

anxiety and panic attacks protect us through isolation and fear.

—

i’ve had enough external playground bullies growing up that i’ve created my own to keep the cycle going.

we say that bullies bully because they don’t like themselves, have their own unmet needs and insecurities…

i don’t have many thoughts beyond this at this point. just mulling over points in the book No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz, PHD

[kaybee444]

Now, I learn to love and accept every part of myself, especially the ones who want to wage war, for me.

[justaboutsnapped]

If I see one more naive white queer speaking over actual Chinese queers people and proclaiming xiaohongshu/rednote or even China in general is somehow a fucking wonderland incapable of violent bigotry I’m gonna explode

1) a lot of the queer related tags have suddenly become usable again after the great migration

2) the #le tag for lesbians literally comes from the #lesbian and #les tags being banned so to act

3) the welcome you’re receiving by chinese people isn’t what actual Chinese queers have experienced (we experience a bombardment of loud angry homophobes/transphobes every single fucking day) and every single Chinese queer I know has been ranting about this for days. Unfortunately a lot of people are hypocrites who are only nice to the guests in the house

4) not only is this rhetoric of don’t ask don’t tell being the main consensus in China FALSE (I don’t even want to get into the media’s suppression of hate crimes and how many queer activism accounts are being banned left and right), passive queerphobia is still FUCKING QUEERPHOBIA…

The audacity to come into OUR HOUSE and speak over us after 3 days of being pampered on this app just for being western is vile and so fucking demoralising because we’ve been yelling about our condition for so long and you guys would rather not miss out on social media brainrot than to actually apply some nuance for once… you guys wanted to distance from the sinophobic propaganda take of China being unequivocally evil so bad that you’ve swung to the other end

[trekkerac]

I'm having fun part 3

[warningsine]

Galinda, what are you doing? Stop. No.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

You're just not toxic enough.

[nerdypipsqueak]

Dick Schwartz has no business being this funny!

[egophiliac]

IF YOU GO NOW TO SILVER'S PROFILE IT SHOWS "SILVER VANROUGE" I AM!!! NOT OKAY!!! WAUGH

OH MY GOD 😭

like...it wasn't even just "oh we'll call you Silver Vanrouge now", they just straight-up made the adoption official, under the statute of Malleus Says So. he's legally recognized as Lilia's kid! I'm so happy for them!

this may take some getting used to though

[unforth]

Y'all have got to stop virulently hating men. Like, I'm sorry, I fucking hate the patriarchy too, but the patriarchy isn't just men and saying it is just exculpates complicit women. I am the mother of a young boy, and I look at this precious, empathetic 8 year old boy I'm raising and I don't know where online is safe for him. Places like this will say he's evil just for his gender, and other places will say "we'll be your friend if you hate with us," and still others will radicalize him in other ways. Where is he supposed to go? Why are we saying the radicalization is the fault of the kids just trying to find a place to hang?

Like this is seriously getting urgent. You have got to fucking stop conflating the patriarchy and men. 53% percent of white women voted for Trump. Men aren't the problem. White supremacy and Christian patriarchal structures are two examples of patriarchy-reinforcing structures that aren't solely couched in maleness. Men aren't the problem, and pretending they are drives more men into more welcoming extremist spaces and also ignores all the parts of this that are forwarded by people who aren't men.

What I see happening all over is scared, depressed, lonely people looking for someone they're allowed to hate automatically, unquestioningly - someone they're allowed to place all the blame on. Fascism says people of color, non-Christian people, queer people, etc., are the ones they're allowed to hate.

And way too many of yall answer that no, it's leftist to hate men instead. You are doing *the exact same thing they are.*

Fucking knock it off.

The answer is we're not supposed to hate anyone automatically based on their immutable personal characteristics. Hate the specific people who've hurt you. Hate the self-reinforcing systems that let them get away with hurting you. Hate the strangers who prop up those systems. Hate the fascists. Hell knows I hate Donald Trump, but it's not because he's a man, it's because he's a piece of shit.

Hate the pieces of shit, not the gender.

But don't hate men just because they're men. That's unhelpful, stupid, insane, and entirely counterproductive. Fucking. Stop.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?