#so we instead project OUR associations of other people onto them

[kindness-is-a-choice]

Absolutely vibing with the idea that everything Kris has is a hand me down from Asriel, including the striped sweater they wear.. which was intentionally used to misguide our perception of them.. purposefully redirecting our perception in that we see striped sweater and immediately think of Chara and Asriel rather than Kris

[nats-revival]

Not they tryna reenact KOSA… anyway yall, here’s why KOSA is bad!!

If you don’t already know, KOSA, or Kids Online Safety Act is a bill that was proposed to keep children safe on the internet. You might ask ‘why is this bill bad if it’s in favor of supporting the safety of children online’? Well, according to stopkosa.com, it puts pressure on platforms to add even MORE filters on anything they think is inappropriate for children. This is especially harmful for LBGTQIA+ youth because the knowledge about this topic would be censored, as well as knowledge on suicide prevention and LGBTQIA+ support groups. Do you see how this an issue? For those children who are wanting to learn more about these topics they’d be turned away because of this bill. It would also be likely that it’ll allow the shutdown of websites that allow them to learn about race, sexuality and gender.

This bill would also add more internet surveillance for all users across all social media platforms. It would expand the use of age verification and parental monitoring controls. These things in itself are already very invasive, but doesn’t take into consideration the children who live in unsafe environments where they are domestically abused and/or are trying to escape these situations. To add my two cents onto this, I strongly believe that the KOSA bill is an unnecessary violation of our first amendment rights (if you’re American), and doesn’t really make the internet any more safer. It actually makes it more unusable for youth. Hypothetically, if this bill were to be passed, then this would make social media unusable for literally anybody. To censor content from the youth about wanting to learn about their identity is extremely harmful. Blocking them from accessing resources that may prove as helpful in their scenarios is outlandish and unneeded. We try to shelter our youth so much to the point where we try to boil them down to only being with their parents want them to be and also not being able to let them learn and explore about other things that they may want to identify themselves with. This is very harmful.

This is a list of companies who are saying no to KOSA ..

• Access Now

• ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union)

• Black and Pink National

• Center for Democracy & Technology

• COLAGE

• Defending Rights & Dissent

• Don’t Delete Art

• EducateUS: SIECUS In Action

• Electronic Frontier Foundation

• Equality Arizona

• Equality California

• Equality Michigan

• Equality New Mexico

• Equality Texas

• Fair Wisconsin

• Fairness Campaign

• Fight for the Future

• Free Speech Coalition

• Freedom Network USA

• Indivisible Eastside

• Indivisible Plus Washington

• Internet Society

• Kairos

• Lexington Pride Center

• LGBT Technology Partnership

• Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition

• Media Justice

• National Coalition Against Censorship

• Open Technology Institute

• OutNebraska

• PDX Privacy

• Presente.org

• Reframe Health and Justice

• Restore The Fourth

• SIECUS: Sex Ed for Social Change

• SWOP Behind Bars 

• TAKE

• TechFreedom

• The 6:52 Project Foundation, Inc.

• The Sex Workers Project of the Urban Justice Center

• Transgender Education Network of Texas

• TransOhio

• University of Michigan Dearborn – Muslim Student Association 

• URGE

• WA People’s Privacy

• Woodhull Freedom Foundation

There is something you can do to stop the KOSA bill from being passed! On the website I linked, there is a petition. All you have to do is fill out the information and it’ll send off an email for you. The email reads as follows:

I’m writing to urge you to reject the Kids Online Safety Act, a misguided bill that would put vulnerable young people at risk. KOSA would fail to address the root issues related to kid’s safety online. Instead, it would endanger some of the most vulnerable people in our society while undermining human rights and children’s privacy. The bill would result in widespread internet censorship by pressuring platforms to use incredibly broad “content filters” and giving state Attorneys General the power to decide what content kids should and shouldn’t have access to online. This power could be abused in a number of ways and be politicized to censor information and resources. KOSA would also likely lead to the greater surveillance of children online by requiring platforms to gather data to verify user identity. There is a way to protect kids and all people online from egregious data abuse and harmful content targeting: passing a strong Federal data privacy law that prevents tech companies from collecting so much sensitive data about all of us in the first place, and gives individuals the ability to sue companies that misuse their data. KOSA, although well-meaning, must not move forward. Please protect privacy and stop the spread of censorship online by opposing KOSA.

The website also gives you like a format of what you can say if you chose to call your representatives. If after reading this post, you feel inclined to do something then I would say just go ahead and do it. My first time learning about KOSA was today immediately after seeing the post I felt inclined to send my lawmakers an email. Please try to help when you can and this will only take a few minutes so I think this is something that you can consider. This post is getting a little long now, so I’ll stop here. There are more resources online if you would like to learn more about the cons of this KOSA bill, thank you for reading.

[starfall-sys]

Really important announcement, please read.

Contents: last formal post about our ex and also stuff regarding the future of this blog, brief mentions of abuse but nothing descriptive, mentions of grooming

had a flashback get triggered because of a name that someone used online that just happened to be a name that I associated with the drama with my shitty ex and my actions

I only now realized that he groomed us. He manipulated us and kept us in the dark and we took in his toxicity and his behaviors and unknowingly projected those same behaviors to other people and hurt them.

I thought maybe I could find closure after he was exposed but after realizing that he’s left so much of himself and his actions behind onto us, I started to feel like I was a part of him instead of a separate human being. I felt sick, I felt alone, I couldn’t really talk to anyone because of the consequences of our ex deliberately alienating us from everyone. I thought that I was just as bad as him after I unknowingly went too far with an old friend of mine.

It didn’t help that this happened right after I got rejected hard from my previous fp weeks before. I was in such a low during the summer it was horrible.

But I realize that if I really want to move on I need to acknowledge the fact that I am not him. I am not Stylus. I am not this abusive, manipulative, sadistic man that hurts people. I am not someone who enjoys watching people suffer or watch disturbing graphic content like him. I am not someone who physically abuses people. I am not my abuser.

I have to acknowledge that and unlearn everything I ever learned from him. I had to unlearn and untrust everything he said about DID to me and what it is and listen to survivors and research and make my own decisions and opinions about what I believe in. I have to eradicate or grow distant to the things he left behind with me, gifts he gave me, the name of our system (we came up with a system name because of him), the memories of the system server i first ever joined and soon left after feeling extremely uncomfortable in there, the polaroid photo of him in it, his face, his abandoned tumblr, childhood memories of him and I, anything he gave or pushed onto us knowingly or unknowingly.

I now realize truly the extent of my own trauma from him. Though his grooming wasn’t sexual, he set us up for disaster and isolation. He made sure that I would ultimately be left alone had I gone against him. That I only went to him and him only.

I reached out to an old friend of mine (the person who even called out our ex publicly with the full truth) and I wont lie, I was scared to even send that text saying hi. I had already made mistakes and hurt people because my actions reminded those people of Stylus and I was terrified that this friend wouldn’t want to talk to me again. I was worried that my mere existence to everyone who was involved in this drama is just “Stylus’ childhood friend”, a creation he later abandoned and let loose to cause havoc.

But I was replied with a nice response, leading to a peaceful conversation (though it was short because I sent the text late at night 😭). I wasn’t unfriended, I wasn’t blocked, I wasn’t yelled at or told to never speak to them again, none of that. It made me realize that all that fear I still carried was for nothing. Sure it still will bug me for a while in the back of my head but ultimately, I am free. I am just me, and this friend is just a friend, who is super nice and super talented and is very awesome imo. Sure we may have met through the same shitty person but I don’t have to let that define how I want my friendships to work.

I have made mistakes and lost friendships, obviously I can’t take that back, but the least I can do is separate myself from Stylus all together and focus on the friendships that I can maintain now.

This may be the last time I talk about my ex formally (might mention him here and there, maybe roast the shit out of him even, idk stuff happens), and this also means that I am going to have to rebrand. I came to Tumblr because of Stylus, but leaving it is not the option. I formed such a wonderful community here and made so many system friends who are actually caring and supportive of us. The best I can do is a rebrand. We have been wanting to rebrand but didnt think it was necessary till now. We will keep the post format the same (i love yellow and space and stars but will change up the profile stuff), but we will definitely change our system name to something different, something that is us and not him.

But we need your help, the community. We have been trying to think of name ideas and we are at a loss rn. If anyone has any ideas, anything, please share. We would prefer if the name had SOME relevance to our profile aesthetic (or even just related to stuff we like such as yellow, witchcraft, astronomy, fantasy, faries, stars, etc), but we are open to suggestions.

When the rebrand here is complete we will update our sideblogs with the accurate information and slowly change our online identity into something of our own.

That’s really all we have to say right now, everything is now out there. If you haven’t read the call out posts about my ex, you can read them, theres info on my pinned about it, but I will warn you that there is triggering content due to the nature of the situation (it’s why I am not recommending you to read it, just saying you can since its out there)

Anyway, other than that, thats all we have to say.. I am really tired and should sleep now. But thanks a lot for sticking around and we hope you stick around longer for more tomfoolery and sillies in the future!

Yours truly,

Silas and the rest of formally Starfall System ✨🌟💫

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Gabe Fleisher at Wake Up To Politics:

Last night, one of America’s two political parties gathered in Illinois and heard from a former CIA officer and several military veterans. They waved American flags and chanted “USA” while homage was paid to John McCain and Ronald Reagan. A sheriff spoke about increasing police funding; a Tea Party lawmaker opined on what it means to be conservative. The party’s presidential nominee, a former prosecutor, promised to toughen border security and protect American freedom. No, it wasn’t a Republican convention. Just a new political reality. The Democratic convention in Chicago showed a party finally addressing a core contradiction of the past half-decade. Electorally speaking, the Trump years have been good to Democrats, with victories in 2018, 2020, 2022, and 2023 raining down like manna from heaven. But from a messaging standpoint, the era has been one stumble after another, with the party bouncing around the ideological map in search of a narrative that clicks. The persistent sense has been that the Democrats have won more for being the “not Trump” party than due to any positive association in voters’ minds.

Polls show that the party has a brand problem — one they may be able to overcome while Trump is on the ballot, but which will surely be lurking afterwards. But conventions are nothing if not branding exercises; the Democrats’ this past week reflected a party trying to forge a new identity. So what if it meant pissing off some members of their coalition and cribbing several major Republican talking points? The convention showed a party was a party that wants to win — not just against Donald Trump, but after him too — and is willing to remake itself to do it. The Democrats appeared keenly aware of their worst stereotypes and came prepared with carefully calibrated, poll-tested responses to each one.

Soft on crime? “After decades in law enforcement, I know the importance of safety and security,” Vice President Kamala Harris said, in an acceptance speech that returned repeatedly to her experience as a prosecutor. Weak on national security? “I will never hesitate to take whatever action is necessary to defend our forces and our interests,” she declared. Afraid of military might? “I will ensure America always has the strongest, most lethal fighting force in the world,” Harris said. Judgmental? Nearly ever major DNC speaker took pains to offer grace to conservatives, instead of scorning them, from former President Barack Obama noting that when “a parent or grandparent occasionally says something that makes us cringe, we don’t automatically assume they’re bad people” to Oprah Winfrey promising that “we are not so different from our neighbors.”

Unpatriotic? When Harris walked onto the stage, the crowd didn’t chant “Kamala” or “We’re not going back” or any of the other slogans in their arsenal. They chanted “USA.” In fact, “USA” chants were heard every night of the convention, often during almost every speech. Attendees held aloft “USA” signs and American flags; later, when they were handed long “Kamala” signs ahead of her acceptance speech, many delegates stuck the American flag on top of them, so that when they cheered for Harris, the floor remained a sea of flags. Many of these epithets are labels that have haunted Democrats for decades, stretching back into the 1970s and in some cases even earlier. In that time, Republicans have reliably been the party that has wrapped themselves in the flag and projected a tough image on national defense and law and order, so much so that the scene from the United Center sometimes seemed straight out of an RNC. Harris also seemed to determined to break with the long Democratic tradition of condescension, from “egghead” Adlai Stevenson to “elitist” Hillary Clinton and her “basket of deplorables.” This convention was one of the first times they seemed conscious of it, and actively tried to move in another direction.

The whole event was a far cry from 2020, when Democrats allowed themselves to become the party of “defund the police” and the academic alphabet soup of DEI and CRT. In just four years, the party went from declaring in their platform that “Democrats believe we need to overhaul the criminal justice system from top to bottom,” because “police brutality is a stain on the soul of our nation,” to pledging to put “more police officers on the beat” in the 2024 version. “We need to fund the police, not defund the police,” the party’s platform now reads. Attendees cheered when a sheriff made that same point on Thursday, something that would have sounded unbelievable to 2020 ears. (As would the nomination of a former prosecutor.) It was also a departure from 2016, when identity ruled the day as Hillary Clinton reminded delegates that she was the first woman nominated for the presidency. Harris never once referred to the fact that she was only the second female nominee, and first Black female nominee, allowing the delegates wearing suffragette white to serve as the lone nod to her history-making nomination.

Other typically Democratic elements were airbrushed from the speech as well. Issues that poll well, like abortion, were emphasized. Issues that poll poorly, like climate change and transgender issues, were mentioned once and not at all, respectively, by Harris. (Democratic fears of yet another label — “woke” — were clear.) These decisions angered some activists, as did the exclusion of a Palestinian-American speaker, but after years of attempting to please every segment of their varied coalition, Democrats have made the cold calculation that the voters they truly need to target are the plurality in the middle. Just as they pushed out Joe Biden in service of chasing victory, evincing little emotional attachment to an aging leader, the party seems newly willing to spite its fringes to save its power.

[...] For me, one of the most enduring images of the convention will be the two young men standing near me who looked like they could have been straight out of a Barstool video — a demographic Democrats have struggled with — screaming “USA” with a fierce intensity. In reality, though, these young men are a Democratic minority: only 29% of Democrats told Gallup they are “extremely proud” to be Americans last year; 60% of Republicans did so. I think back to the conference of young Democrats I covered last year, when a speaker asked how many attendees are “patriotic” and only a scattering of hands went up. [...] The Democratic convention showed a party playing to win, unlike the Republican convention in July, which showed a party that believed it already had. The DNC also showed a party preparing for the future — parading its bench, shaving down its harsher edges to position itself for campaigns against post-Trump opponents — in stark contrast to the Trump-centric RNC. At the same time as Trump appears distracted, Democrats have never seemed more laser-focused on pursuing victory.

Gabe Fleisher wrote in Friday’s Wake Up To Politics newsletter on the Democratic Party’s image makeover that was on display at the DNC by taking the freedom and patriotism mantle and ran with it, while jettisoning or downplaying themes prevalent in the 2016 and 2020 editions.

[dailyanarchistposts]

Black Christianity:

In comes Black people who adhere to Christianity. The forms of Christianity we converted to are European ones. Something I did not mention before is that along with a theological history that led to anti-Semitism, Christianity has had a theological history known as the Hamitic hypothesis. Hamitic hypothesis is the idea that Black people are slaves because of the Curse of Ham. In the book of Genesis, Noah has three sons: Shem, Ham, Japheth. Noah curses Ham’s grandson Canaan because Ham ended up seeing his father naked while Noah was passed out drunk. The curse basically says that Canaan shall be a “servant of servants.” The historical context of that curse against Canaan was land conflict between the Israelites and the Canaanites. I won’t get into that too much, but basically that curse had nothing to do with race or even ethnicity, but was about a particular local territory conflict. For some reason, though Shem became later interpreted as the father of all Asians and Middle Easterners, Japheth as the father of all Europeans, and Ham as the father of all Africans. And in the process of this theological shift, the curse of Canaan got associated with all “Hamites”—African people—and we were said to be a “servant of servants.” By the 600s CE we find trace evidence in Jewish and Islamic thought of this Hamitic notion, and it is possible there was a skin color association but the historical record on this is not clear. What we do know, however, is that Black people’s relationship to the Christian narrative was certainly understood as that of the Hamite, a servant of servants by God’s will, especially as modern colonialism began to develop. When we look into chattel slavery, we find that many pro-slavery advocates used the idea of a Hamitic hypothesis to explain the savagery and sexual immorality of Black people that slavery was supposed to be the correct punishment for. Many Black people internalized these narratives but some did not, or perhaps modified them. At some point, a few Black Christians began to reinterpret a number of Scriptures, like the Psalm which says “Ethiopia shall stretch out her hand to God.” This and other reclaimed Scriptures were said to cancel out any European Christian justification for slavery and other forms of colonial violence against our people. Instead now, because of Christ, we deserve liberation. This is the earliest Black nationalism as we understand it today.

But along with this racialized theological formula, these Christians continue to hold onto Europeans’ racialized supercessionism. In this way, a Black Nationalist right to freedom and self determination is about fulfilling a Christian spiritual right to reclaim the dominant system for us. It modifies the earlier reactionary missiological framing where “the Jews” are the devilish masters of a dominant system that “we” (Christians) actually have a spiritual right to occupy. Jewish people become the face of whiteness/the oppressor, and Black people the face of Christianity qua the “real Hebrews” or “True Israel” who must incorporate or appropriate the oppressor’s system instead. Mind you, this is all happening in a capitalist context, so the understanding of Black liberation they cling to is, of course, a bourgeois one. Black nationalism in this way is therefore often both Christian/religious and pro-capitalist, and so the understanding of Jewishness and of our relationship to the world system is shaped by European ideology. This is the only reason why there are similarities between Black cultural nationalism and white nationalism. White nationalism is also a bourgeois/capitalist project.

[lavendertarot]

There's a pattern I'll occasionally see in fandoms with very character-driven stories, where the most popular characters will be read into so much that themes and arcs from other characters will get prescribed to their character instead.

People can analyze characters however they like ofc, but it's frustrating from an overall textual analysis standpoint; it's very often the result of the "fandom academic" not only projecting what's already explored better on other characters onto their blorbo, but also their own feelings and projections of themselves. It ends up creating a lot of ooc fanworks that are supposedly backed up by canon but in reality fall flat when considered in context of the original themes of the story they're from.

And like, I don't necessarily think it's the result of someone lacking critical analysis skills, because oftentimes it's not like they're pulling these additional character traits out of nowhere. These traits exist within the text within other aspects of it, such as being arcs better explored by other characters or issues that are more pronounced in less popular characters, so there's a level of recognition that the overall text is utilizing these themes.

I think the issue itself stems from an inherent need to grant characters (aka mechanisms to tell a narrative) a level of personhood that separates them from the context that they exist in. It's partially related to fandom-as-activism if you ask me, but also partially related to how we as modern internet users comprehend our senses of identity from within the digital space. The way that social media sites encourage users to condense and market themselves and post the most "exciting" and "marketable" aspects of themselves online isn't dissimilar to how one could hypothetically comprehend how a fictional narrative is structured. That combined with how facebook in the 2000s/early 2010s encouraged people to show a more "true" version of themselves, essentially resulted in a combination where everyone is a perfectly manicured, marketable, fake (fictional) version of themselves, while also being a real and honest person. Thus a trend of viewing every form of a manufactured person or character as also real, complex, and just like you fr, may have sprung up.

Not to mention the fact that corporations that produce character-driven stories will rely on you *as a consumer* to grow attached to fictional characters and see them as people instead of concepts, because you're more likely to continue consuming their products if you believe that the character you're engaging with has that personhood to connect to. It's akin to a celebrity endorsement, except they don't have to pay for an actual celebrity and the risks that are associated with it.

Ultimately though, issues really start to show up when "fandom academics" prescribe their *own* personhood to characters and thus forget the context that the character (as means to tell a story) exists in. That action then causes a level of dissonance between their attempted objective analysis of a character and the way one would analyze that same character as part of the rest of the cast and overarching themes of the text. Thus the ooc character that has traits that appear to be either stolen from another source within the text or the author themselves is born.

Or something like that idk

[homophobicgerardwayau]

Ok, I’m going to foolishly weigh in on the Gerard gender theorising and pronouns debate. I don’t really have an audience so whatevs. But i do have thoughts 💭. I’m seeing a lot of reductive posts that lack nuance or critical thinking (the internet). Here’s the thing. We need to remain cognisant that at the end of the day none of us interact with ‘Gerard the Person’. We interact with ‘Gerard the Concept’. The rockstar, the artist, the cultural icon etc.

There is a filter, constructed by Gerard themself in response to a culture that must know him, by virtue of his fame and the deeply personal nature of his work. We only see what we are allowed to see through said filter. And when fans speculate and theorise, they are bringing their own biases and interpretations to a limited portrait of a person, a double that stands in to take the criticisms (and disproportionate praise) that comes along with being a successful artist.

I bring this up because when we jump up and down getting mad at people for publicly using “she” pronouns for example, we need to remind ourselves of a couple of things:

Gerard the Person likely does not have the hours in a day to worry about what pronouns people online are using for him. From interviews over the years, we can deduce that he has come to terms with fame and worked through much of his trauma associated with it. He has also expressed that he doesn’t care about pronouns. At present, this squabble is happening laterally between fans and does not involve him in any direct way. He does not need defending (what is he being defend from? Being gnc or trans is neither morally good or bad) from being misgendered. It seems the sticky point is ‘misgendering’ in general, which is a much broader discussion. One that is particularly hard to have when we are all out here with some kind of minority related trauma.

Because he is not a whole person, but an icon to us (it is difficult to conceptualise of someone as both simultaneously) we all tend to project a whole lot of ourselves onto him, more than we would someone we know personally. This is how being an icon works. Here we project different ideas about our own gender and sexuality and our differing conceptualisations of gender altogether. Personally, while I would not label Gerard as trans online, by my own personal definition of transness, he is part of our family. The issue is not defining him as trans by our own metrics, as we are entitled to our own conceptualisations of transness (I am of course, speaking from within the community). We should take into account that trans is not a clearly definable label. For example, there are people that are medically (for lack of a better word) trans that do not see themselves as trans. All of this is to say that people see something in Gerard that reflects back parts of themselves. Being trans is one of those things, whether Gerard defines himself as such or not.

The way I have seen Gerard called ‘she’ online, often seems in jest and I chose to engage with these types of posts in good faith and with a sense of humour. I assume that most people making these posts are aware that wearing a skirt does not make someone a woman. I feel that a lot of the ‘Gerard is secretly a woman’ is just a projection of a posters own insecurities around gender non-conformity or quite simply the desire to feel that they are in on something others aren’t, in turn making them feel closer to the ‘Gerard’ that they have constructed in their head. Instead of calling these folks trans misogynists, I think it would be more helpful to ask the ‘truther’ why they think they are so fixated on it and why would it matter if Gerard came out as something? What would it change other than give you a sense of validation?

We should remember that the topic of Gerard’s relationship to gender and sexuality is unavoidable once we get into the nitty gritty of his work. Deconstruction/reconstruction of identity and the gender politics of violence are some of my favourite ideas that Gerard revisits over and over again. It is there by design and it is also part of the character he plays by design. Kids are picking up on something but it’s the lack of media literacy that leads them down these strange roads of thinking. We should try to be sympathetic if we can. Why? Because if it’s trans people doing the transvestigating then it all comes down to the lack of representation that we all feel. Gerard shouldn’t have to carry that weight of course, which is probably one of the reasons why he doesn’t use labels for himself. He has the privilege of ‘hiding in plain sight’ as he calls it, and that is his choice to make.

The discussion then shouldn’t be be weather it is wrong to wonder about another person’s gender and sexuality (if we weren’t curious, how would we ever find others like ourselves?). It should be how should we treat others? It should be as simple as don’t send someone fan fiction of themselves.

As a community, we should be redirecting this energy into figuring out how to put Gerard’s gender into the hormone injection. I think this would solve a lot of societies problems lol.

[entomolog-t]

Some of my favorite tropes have already been asked, but if we’re wanting a super specific G/t trope:

Athletic giantesses with hearts of absolute gold.

Like, we’re talking pro athletes, CrossFit herbos, Herculean female powerhouses. Women who could catch a falling skyscraper on their back to save a crowd, then sweep up their sweetheart and smother them with kisses.

Talk me through it, doc. What’s up with that? Why do I like that so much?

Back at it again !!

Its a pleasure to be back in office.

There are quite a lot of interesting concepts to break down in this trope; Gender role subversion, muscle and size and their relationship with power dynamics and sub-dynamics (trust, security, submission) and parental modeling.

Lets proceed in order.

Gender role subversion

The typical societal norm for women tends to be airing towards the more submissive, and less physically intimidating. A *ahem* "giantess muscle mommy waifu," as the kids say, is a significant subversion of typical societal norms. This creates two intertwined themes; subversion/role reversal and taboo. There is something very intriguing about things that go against the grain. There are many theories as to why this is such as repression and expression of free will for example. Free will is particularly interesting, as it really emphasizes the rebellious nature of humans, despite us being a pack/group/society driven species. Essentially, by going against the societal norms we reinforce our own individuality. Normally this is not a conscious thought, and instead something that manifests within what we repress (the shadow, for any of you who enjoy Jungian philosophy). When something is repressed from our conscious to subconscious, it tends to manifest in strange ways; dreams, fantasies, desires, and even what we project onto others.

Fatigue within ones own role is also a driver for these kinds of role reversal fantasies. The societal expectations of ones gender can be overwhelming. Men are expected to remain stoic emotionally, and strong physically. While the roles are not as clear cut as they were decades ago, the expectations can still leave many people weary, as they can be forced to repress parts of themselves (emotionality, weakness, fear etc..) and the circumstantially forced reversal of those roles in fantasy acts as a form of catharsis. A reprise from the demands of those around them, and the freedom to be accepted as you are.

I would highly recommend you list out traits you associate with Giantesses in fantasy; do they correlate with what you assume people expect from you?

Muscle and Size and their relationship with power dynamics and sub-dynamics

The distinction of muscularity is very interesting, as these kind of fixations tend to have a notable overlap within G/t. Muscularity and G/t both have a great deal of fixation on body parts, size difference, power, fear, intimidation and trust. The combination of the two is very concentrated power dynamics.

As a warning, I will be discussing the next bit with a focus on animal behavior (a subject I specialize in) and the context of mate selection and genetic potential. I will try my best to use appropriate language, but keep in mind this is referring to subconscious processes, and there is so much more that goes into attraction and relationships than genetic potential.

We have done quite a bit of size exploration in previous sessions, so I do want this to emphasize muscularity. First and foremost, muscularity (less so lean-ness) is a marker for good health (indicator of strength, access to resources to cultivate said muscle, predictor of fitness etc..) while muscularity doesn't exclusively determine any of these, our brain likes to make judgements at a glance, and statistically, its a pretty good indicator, despite outliers. In that sense, indicators of good fit are enticing as the brain perceives them as potential desirable traits. Regardless of ones sexuality, our neurology has developed to pick up on certain traits and perceive them as attractive, both as a learned behavior and as a genetic driver. There are some extremely interesting studies on people subconsciously being attracted to those who have traits that could improve genetic potential.

This might indicate that you subconsciously feel physically weak/inferior, and your brain is trying to mitigate this by seeking out those with complimentary traits.

In a more human psychology sense, we see a physical and aesthetic manifestation of a power gradient, further emphasized by over all size. As mentioned earlier, the physicality seems to act to further concentrate aspects of power dynamics already seen within G/t; trust, safety and submission.

Having someone so much larger and stronger with a "heart of gold" very much seems to fit the sub archetype of the protector for the Giant. This emphasizes a possible yearning for safety and security in ones day to day life. If one feels unstable, the image of someone so powerful and immense taking care of them could be extremely reassuring and soothing.

What aspects do you align with Giantesses in your fantasies? This could be indicative of traits you are comforted by, and it could help to stabilize yourself if you cultivate them within yourself or act as a roadmap to traits that you value within others.

A little more on the negative side, we often find comfort in what is familiar. This can be seen in sad examples of friends from difficult households seeking out less than savory spouses. The same can be seen at times within our own fantasies. Being seen as smaller and weaker can make one feel less than or insignificant. However, having a loving giantess counterpart may be a way to cope with these feelings, especially if there is the continuous theme of "I love you as you are." Thus begs the question(s); do you find comfort in being seen as insignificant?

Or

Do you find significance through being seen as your whole self, despite certain perceptions of being small/weak etc..?

Parental Modeling

Gender role related fantasies and tropes have a tendency to have origins in early childhood, namely from parental figures (parents, aunts/uncles/teachers etc..).

Another warning, this topic is a bit weird and takes a more animal behavior analysis, which just sounds a little strange when applied to humans.

In early childhood we may look towards parental figures as models for gender roles as well as attraction. While this may sound Freudian in nature, its more so just early knowledge acquisition of what is expected of us, and what we expect of others. A normally gendered fantasy may imply specific traits associated with the mother, ranging from making one feel small, to being extremely nuturing and a safe haven.

Particularly negative traits of the parent may be twisted to turn into coping mechanisms as well (such as combining the two themes above; my mother made me feel at times small and insignificant, and thus I cope by envisioning a massive being caring for me and protecting me in spite of my stature).

Evaluating parental relationships (both the negative and positive aspects) and comparing them and contrasting them to what you seek in G/t may offer greater insight.

----

Thank you for your time today, please see my secretary on your way out to set your next appointment.

[dravenistired]

Okay, so, random thought as an autistic burnt out gifted kid; does anyone else feel like the song ‘How the World Works’ by Bo Burnham is like, sorta how school is for gifted kids?

I don’t know, like Socko represents us, and at first he explains where he’s been, where he describes how he’s kinda just been floating in a seemingly inter-dimensional space in his perception, and he compares it to a constant state of sleep paralysis (which I’ve connected to executive dysfunction with us), and when asked to help Bo explain how the world works, he’s begins just telling the truth about how the world actually is instead of the narrative that school feeds us all the time, then when they stick people onto you that you’re supposed to explain how it works, you’re expected to be patient and understanding and explain it to a bunch of people you don’t even wanna be around at the tender age of 7.

Maybe it’s just me, or I’m just projecting, but I feel like it’s constantly our responsibility as young people to explain people out of their ignorance, which isn’t inherently bad, it’s just super tiring for a group of kids and/or teenagers to constantly be explaining why they deserve to exist ( i.e black young people, POC young people in general, queer young people, neurodiverse young people, and all of the intersectional bits of those things)

Then, after Bo says that he’s just “trying to be a better person”, Socko snaps and goes on a rant about how upper-crust first class white people constantly feel the need to insert themselves into every single socio-political or economically underdeveloped issue that exists in the current world in attempts to convince themselves they’re “part of the solution” when really, all they’re doing is throwing money (that, mind you, would amount to pocket change to them seeing as a lot of those rich people don’t pay taxes) at random charities without doing any research or actually wanting to make a difference, then call themselves activists when they make a few videos and talk about it for seven minutes out of the 525,600 minutes of the year. He says this isn’t about Bo, so he can either get with it, or don’t get in the way of people actually trying to make a difference.

Then, as what usually happens when we as (mostly if not all) neurodiverse gifted kids tend to go off on those kinds of rambles, as well as when we hit too close to home with information they don’t want us to “poison” the other peoples minds with, Bo proceeds to tell Socko to watch his language and the thing he said that really stuck out to me is he said “Remember who’s on who’s hand here!” And the way he says it is so chipper and he’s smiling and laughing as he says it, but the undertones are the same; “Watch yourself, don’t forget who controls you.” Which really hits home, because a lot of the time, if we step out of line, we’re told that we could ruin our lives with our behavior, and they threaten us with an array of things, like failing us, holding us back, all that stuff.

Socko, of course, literally stammers in shock and asks if Bo has been listening to anything he’s been saying, and when he tries to speak again, (and this is actually in the video, but even without it, it’s interesting to think about) Bo starts to put Socko away, to which Socko starts to scream and beg not to go back (again, I kinda associate this with us begging for resources and begging to not go back to toxic places we’ve been pulled out of, which applies to quite a few different circumstances)

He literally begs and pleads and apologizes for saying what he did, and then this happens:

“Are you gonna behave yourself?”

“…Yes.”

“Yes, what?

“Yes, si-”

“Look at me.”

“Yes, sir.”

And then Bo just starts singing again, and he says he hopes that’s Socko learned his lesson, to which Socko says he did and it was painful.

And right at the end of the song, they do the chorus and Socko’s voice is strained and just so worn out, and Bo rolls his eyes and rips him off his hand, to which Socko immediately screams “No- NO-!” Which I think is kind of a callback to if you don’t act like everything is fine and act like you’re supposed to (aka MASKING) they’ll stick you back where it hurts, and they won’t let you out til you promise to behave “like you’re supposed to”.

Anyway, that’s all.

[ninepentz]

Our misguided anger

One thing I learned from constantly being forced to experience problematic people through out my life, even being one myself sometimes, is that when people get caught up in the pettiness of things.

The passive aggression, revenge, projection, bait/trigger, evil eye whatever it is, that mostly tells me they haven't reached the point of evolving past that phase onto "I'm ready for peace phase" so to me it let's me know that person is still immature mentally/emotionally, not thinking of their future self, not self aware, not on the road to healing. It also shows that they aren't really organized internally.

Like for me I'm the worst person to be around when I'm doing bad, when problems are stacking up. I'm most problematic when there's something crappy going on in my life or I'm having some issue in one area that won't go away.

So when people are stagnant in the phase of pettiness, they are mostly dealing with something and coping with it by taking out that frustration on others. Idk why but I've noticed some people just love being in drama.

So knowing what I know now, I associate that with someone who hasn't outgrown a certain phase of misguided anger.

Sometimes that anger we throw onto others is our unhappiness with ourselves, unmet goals, health issues, failures, all types of personal things. That's the root of those problematic behaviors..

Immature phase=

Pettiness, passive aggression, bait/trigger, revenge, prob starting.

Mature phase=

Self reflection, observing your own triggers/anger before acting out, not easily trigged anymore, not taking things personal (important), accountability, self control.

It's similar to how a baby eventually matures into a full grown adult, even our emotions, intellect, has it's own phases of growth, and if you're lucky you go through each phase and master them. Me currently I haven't mastered my anger but I'm seeing growth and maturing little by little. Handling things way better than my past self :) if you're reading this and you relate, I hope you get to experience how peaceful it is to be unbothered and in your own lane. And when coming across people who haven't healed yet, seek to understand and observe, instead of react. I feel like that is a healing experience within itself, maybe even by you not adding to the fire you extinguish their bitter flames in the process too <3

✨️Nine of Pentacles✨️

[dsandrvk]

Saturday, July 29 - Folkestone

Folkestone is the northern terminus for the "Chunnel', but since that's a bit north of town, nobody seems to notice. Instead, Folkestone is still a beach resort with an artistic bent. It became a popular place back in Victorian times, when two glamorous hotels were built side by side, trying to outdo one another, the Grand and the Metropole (second photo). The former got bragging rights when Edward VII opened its new ballroom with his mistress, Alice Keppel in tow. Today they are condos, and the restaurant space in one is under renovation. They front onto the "Leas", a beautiful park like place along the upper esplanade at the top of the cliffs. There are also trails part way down and a boardwalk at the seashore, all connected by steps in various places.

We were lucky again in our weather. Although it was blowing about 20 mph out of the southwest, it was sunny and fairly warm - totally unexpected. We walked a ways to the west, eventually hiking down to the former home of H. G. Wells, which is now a nursing home. There are lots of famous names associated with Folkestone, including Robert Baden-Powell (he of the Boy Scouts), JMW Turner (the painter), and many more.

We eventually found our way out to the beach boardwalk, which has several shingle beaches and over 100 beach huts. They are all municipally owned, and one art project was the painting of them in colorful ways. The artist did some in various shades of colors and others with bold arrows, and still others with patterns. They really draw the eye, and we saw several in use, as people store their chairs, kayaks and all sorts of things in them and use them as little cottages during the day. Most folks were trying to stay out of the wind. We did see a few others actually swimming in the sea - I guess 68 degrees and a little sun counts as summer here.

There were more art installations and several little cafes selling ice cream and beverages, and we finally could see the harbor in the distance. Years ago there were several "lifts" or funiculars running up to the cliff top, but they are not in use anymore, and there was also a large amusement park, as well as a saltwater pool that is also gone. In their place is a redevelopment effort concentrating on food and entertainment, and in the future, development of about 1000 residential units. It's the last that seems a little out of place, especially considering sea level rise, since these are supposed to go on the shingle beach area. What could possibly go wrong? It also seems that the entire harbor area development is private - even the pier and the lighthouse (still working, but with a bar on the first level). They have done an excellent job, however, with lots of little restaurants and food trucks and an entertainment area filled with shipping container food vendors. They have taken the old rail line that went out to the pier and made it into a gathering place with a garden down the rail line and over an old railway bridge across the harbor.

We stopped for some very good Thai green curry, and enjoyed just sitting outside. The entire harbor area was filled with families, so they must be doing something right! Of course, it was a beautiful day, and a weekend, so that helps.

From here we walked back up through the "creative quarter" which is a couple of streets that are brightly painted, pedestrian only and filled with shops offering art and vintage items. This very steep street led back up to the old town, so connected the harbor with the rest of town.

We decided because we had had a late lunch out, we would pick up a few smaller items and a bottle of wine and sit out in the back garden of our place here. All these stately buildings on our street back onto a private garden/park, which is quite lovely, especially on a sunny evening. Before we settled in, though, we visited a local garden that is in the process of being rejuvenated.

It was an old brick quarry that had been planted primarily with roses, but was now becoming a little more varied in the planting and also a bit "Oriental" - hence the torii gates. This whole town seems to be heavily into gardening - at one of the rotaries we walk past on the way to the train station there are gorgeous hanging baskets.

A note about some of the pictures - the first seagull is on a cart and may be part of a food truck. The second one is actually a cake - it was in the window of a bakery that specializes in illusion cakes. They also had an iguana cake in the window.

There are probably parts of Folkestone we didn't get to see, as well as a coast path heading west to several other towns, but we enjoyed what we did today. Tomorrow we are hoping to head to Walmer and Deal castles, which are just to the east and north of Dover and were built by Henry VIIi. They are only a couple of miles apart, and we can take the train to either and walk between. It will probably rain, but we hope to get a few dry hours in. We have been so lucky the last two days!

[notmuchtoconceal]

Fact is, there's a lot of theory work at play and the language we use to shape the concepts isn't as important as understanding the concepts.

So much good information in this post, but I wanna focus on this in particular. The concept of a concept is a great way to shine some insight onto the notion of Stoic first causes and Platonic forms.

That is, the notion that nature is composed of fixed patterns and everything arises for a reason and has a consequence. Language is a tool which shapes interpersonal awareness and allows for depth of communication, but language does not encompass the entirety of reality.

Language is something like a compression tactic, for our conscious linear awareness is a bottleneck holding back a vast reservoir of insight and feeling. If one focuses exclusively on language, one is focusing on the superficial. Language doesn't only exist in the historical contexts of etymology and association (how words are formed, and what hues/tones words come to carry when used artfully) but personal contexts, such as the people who use the words, or what tones that person uses when speaking to you. We've all met people who, for whatever reason, seemed to just be irked by certain words in particular.

It doesn't matter to them if you can view a word with neutrality, it's as though that word was weaponized against the other person's nervous system and now anytime they hear it there's an involuntary reaction which was "programmed" into them. When you use a word that triggers another person (in this instance, the hypnotic and traumatic are one) they will naturally "unpack" the usage and project their past experiences with their last programmer onto you, and dissociation being a scale, there are degrees of intensity for how much they can blameshift.

Yes, blameshift. It is in fact rude to trauma dump on people who can't read your mind. You owe it not only to yourself, but to the people you love to develop insight into how you process language and experience your feelings and how that arose out of your personal history so you can pinpoint what things drive you over the edge.

For example, a person might freak out hearing the word "stoic" or "stoicism" because they associate it with lone wolf sigma male tech bros or something and now they think anyone who knows how to control their emotions is trying to hurt them or otherwise radiating icy disinterest.

They might hear "Plato's allegory of the cave" and get mad that you're not just referencing the Matrix to make the same point cause that's an action-leather-gender-bending romcom everyone knows instead of dusty gay mind smut that people who want to look smarter than you only pretend to read cause everyone who's ever touched a book is a poser.

(I would argue the Matrix has many varying additional associations, such as the tech grid, the net, carries the feeling of a snare as opposed to sitting in the dark watching a puppet show and never moving.)

Underneath what you think you see, the reasons for things compose stable patterns, but those patterns are themselves only theories for though they are highly probable, they are not guaranteed.

Before the forms, Heraclitus wrote there is only flux.

Most people simply won't take the time to stop and check if you're dissociating cause most people are likely going to see you constantly lashing out and likely just assume you're an asshole, not that you have a very different emotional-linguistic bottleneck from them.

Animals have a self-preservation instinct.

When things don't make sense, they will make an explanation.

Rationality is a conscious, daily commitment.

The bigger the soap box, the cleaner the hands.

Hypnosis and Dissociative Disorders

I've been meaning to write this since Charmed.

I shall not point fingers or name names but during Charmed 2024 there was a 101 class that taught that it was unsafe to play with those who dissociate as part of a mental illness. The graphic, which I'll paste below, used the word "Can't".

I wanted to speak to that.

Hypnosis has several different definitions. One could go to a hypnosis event and ask every presenter "define hypnosis in a single sentence" and get a different answer every class, likely a few may even contradict.

One such definition I could use is "Hypnosis is an altered state where a hypnotee is lead to a suggestible state where the hypnotee is dissociated from their conscious thinking." though one could say it is "an altered state that leads to breakdown in critical thinking and a heightened state of suggestibility" or you could start talking about the unconscious or subconscious mind.

Fact is, there's a lot of theory work at play and the language we use to shape the concepts isn't as important as understanding the concepts.

Dissociation is a natural part of hypnosis. It's also a natural part of existing. In much pre-talk patter we as hypnotists tend to ask an introduction level hypnotee to think about their experiences with time dilation, with highway hypnosis, with spacing out, with walking into a room and forgetting why you came in there.

Things so normal that as part of rapport, a hypnotist tends to assume the hypnotee can latch on to one of the concepts.

Dissociation is a spectrum. Literally. Within psychology the DES-II tool grades dissociation experiences on a scale, hence the acronym.

Graphic source

When people, including myself at times, describe dissociative disorders they tend to be referring to disorders that focus on dissociation as their main symptom. Depersonalization, Derealization and of course Dissociative Identity Disorder. Over the course of my life I have been diagnosed with all three.

But the scale includes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, both complex and standard. Complex simply refers to a level of trauma that has been ongoing long enough that it is not a single memory or incident that triggers the symptoms.

According to the American Psychiatric Association one in eleven people will be diagnosed with PTSD at some point in their life with 3.5m diagnosed per year in the USA.

Which is to say that dissociating as part of an illness includes 8% of the population. Does that mean 8% of all potential hypnotees are too dangerous to play with?

...the answer is not a clear cut, "no". There is some elevated danger. But rather than teaching people not to play with those who live with these experiences, perhaps we can teach why there should be heightened caution and then allow people to navigate together.

We should always strive to educate and provide tools. When you tell a person they can't do something then they'll just do it without understanding why they aren't supposed to or, worse, predators will find those who were excluded from safer spaces. Harm is not reduced, an educator just gets to walk away from the harm with a simple "I said they shouldn't".

And plus, I said 8% of the general population...

Within hypnosis circles I assure you it is far higher when one factors in that multiple studies have supplied evidence that hypnotic susceptibility increases along with dissociative capacity.

Suffice to say, from utilizing hypnotic susceptibility tests (HGSHS) and dissociative tests (SDD and DES) the more a person dissociates, the more susceptible to hypnosis they are.

The human mind uses dissociation as a way of coping with physical and emotional pain, among other necessary inner needs, and so a person suffering from a mental illness that features dissociation becomes a naturally gifted hypnotee. It's a matter of practicing a skill constantly without realizing that they are refining something useful. Wax-On/Wax-Off.

This leads to a number of safety concerns. We've typed on serious concerns such as altering sense of identity and derealization attacks from lack of grounding. This is a topic near and dear to our heart as we acknowledge that we needed to gain an education in how to safely consent to hypnosis play and failing to do so in the past caused harm to ourselves and to those we played with.

So here's a list of potential dangers in playing with those who are further along the dissociative spectrum, how to mitigate those dangers and create a space where everyone can play safely.

I'll focus on hypnotees with dissociative experiences for the most part as the relationship between dissociation and hypnosis is primarily a concern while the hypnotee is in trance. That having been said I acknowledge that Dom Space connects just as much to the spectrum and an entire new post can be made on the topic of performing hypnosis when you have a dissociative disorder.

Heaven knows it is a topic I study feverishly to maintain safety for myself and those who entrust their mind to my care.

So... with that said, let's talk about the dangers.

Abreactions

This is likely the most common concept that comes up when thinking of the relationship between PTSD and hypnosis. An abreaction is the moment a hypnosis session or scene goes off the rails because the hypnotee is actively reacting to a trauma trigger while they are in a suggestible state. Their Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn impulse may be triggered and cause a physical or emotional reaction which was not part of the negotiated/planned scene.

This could be a cut and dry example of "and think about all the times you've been hypnotized right there on that sofa" causing a hypnotee to follow the suggestion and regress in memory to a time before a bad break-up when their former partner hypnotized them on the sofa they are currently on.

It could be an abstract example like "imagining yourself in a field of flowers and breathing in, noting how lovely the scent is, like the most beautiful perfume." causing sense memory to trigger the scent of a perfume that was in the air during a traumatic moment of their life that instantly flips the switch in their mind to go into F/F/F/F mode.

Likely any given hypnotist will experience this at some point in their life. The first example is one that any person could experience. Hypnosis naturally draws upon associations and when you create an association in the present to a negative emotion in the past you will summon it into the present.

With the second example, that association is already there and it was activated during the scene. The source of the abreaction. I avoid using the word "Trigger" both because of shitty internet discourse in the 2010s and because the term is used for other things in hypnosis, but that is what it is. A sense, a memory, an association which causes the source of trauma to intrude upon the present. The danger that the hypnotee experiences in these moments is very real.

Typically when I discuss these topics I put a disclaimer and emphasize how present the traumatic experience is. My hope is that anyone who is interested in hypnosis knows full well how true and powerful inner experiences are. If you doubt that then I sincerely do not know why you are in this community to begin with.

How to prevent an abreaction is important but should never be learned at the expense of learning how to handle an abreaction. Prevention is about disclosing during negotiation, asking the hypnotee to volunteer anything which may activate a negative reaction or simply what topics to avoid. Phobias are common enough examples of things that a hypnotist should know before working.

But disclosing every part of a trance or scene during the early phases of a hypnotic relationship is essential too. This way the hypnotee does not get surprised by anything propping up during play and they can measure their expected reactions before going into a suggestible state.

But if, despite caution, something does happen? What then?

Noting that every abreaction manifests specific to the person, their situation, their emotional state and how the scene caused it to happen. The first thing the hypnotist needs to do is not overreact. Over-correcting is an easy mistake to make in the moment but it will lead to an overall negative outcome.

Assess the situation and try to recognize what is happening. I had mentioned that the reflex is "Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn" this can be obvious like thrashing or ejecting out of trance instantly. It could be something harder to notice like locking up and becoming unresponsive or emotionally regressing to a terrified state.

If the hypnotee is still in trance then do your best to offer comfort and grounding. Remind them what is happening, remind them that they are safe, perform some grounding exercises such as box breathing (breathe in, hold, exhale for a number of seconds).

Touch is a case by case situation here. I know if I were having an emotional flashback to an assault then being touched would launch me further into abreaction territory. If you believe holding a hand would be beneficial then at the very least communicate it "I'm here, I'm going to take your hand, everything's safe, I'm here."

Over distance you should communicate this via modality. "I'm here, just listen to my voice, focus on the sounds in the room, I'm not going anywhere" for an audio example, "Just feel the blanket beneath you, you can brush your fingers against it if you need" for touch based.

The idea is to use emotional comfort, sensory grounding and patience to bring the hypnotee gently out of the moment.

Then apply aftercare and discuss what happened, what could be improved, what the hypnotee needs and acknowledge that the stress of these moments impacts the hypnotist too. Leave room for the hypnotist to recover as much as the hypnotee.

Decide together if this will end the session or not. Do not cut off on principal. If someone is conditioned to believe that displaying their negative reactions will lead to play stopping then they will hide those reactions. Accept that they happen. Learn how to grow together and incorporate care, comfort and safety into every scene.

Spontaneous Hypnotic Amnesia

One danger for those who suffer dissociative disorders is that their brains are very good at editing information. The further down the spectrum one is, the more adept their mind is at naturally pushing away things that they do not wish to think about nor have the capacity to integrate.

One categorization of dissociation is a failure for the brain to integrate information and experience. It is the cause of time dilation, it is why critical thinking is bypassed and it is why those further on the dissociative spectrum are able to compartmentalize their experiences so effortlessly that they can maintain dissociated personalities.

Where most people who practice hypnosis typically have to study how to achieve post-hypnotic amnesia, those who begin working with hypnosis with patholigized dissociative experiences may need to learn how not to experience it. I include this as I have spoken to multiple people who have lived this reality and it is something we ourselves experienced in the past.

Should a newer hypnotee show signs that they are not remembering what is happening during trance, it is a good practice to train them on how to retain information. Hypnotee Agency is a skill that one develops and allowing them the knowledge that they can chose to retain the information during a trance is as important as reinforcing how easy and normal it is to forget when that is a negotiated part of the scene.

All it takes to be safe here is to just remind them that if they wish to and find it enjoyable to do so, they may retain the information from this trance.

Nothing more complicated than that.

Derealization/Unreality

Derealization is a common experience within dissociation that is actually lower on the dissociative spectrum than PTSD. It is when you do not feel dissociated from your present experiences in real time.

A common version of this is "Deja Vu" which is a sensation where you are having difficulty integrating your present experience because it "feels" like you've already experienced it.

It can manifest in many other ways, however the commonality is that the person experiencing this knows that it's abnormal. When a person is disconnected from their surroundings like this they may experience a barrier between themselves and the world, they may have a distorted sense of time and they may become physically unresponsive and withdrawn.

Source: Mayo Clinic

The best way to handle this is to make sure that grounding always includes a thorough count-up that lets a person feel both in their body (this will help with depersonalization too) and aware of their surroundings. Ensuring both debriefing and aftercare focus on keeping reality in the room is important when someone's sense of what is real can drift.

For that reason it's a good idea to try and reinforce those ideas of what is real and save them in a little box that can be stored away if there are ever any reality altering suggestions in play, that way retrieving and unpacking that box can just be a natural part of the post-scene.

I linked it earlier, but my post on the topic can be found here.

Depersonalization/Altered States of Identity

Ah, our favorite soapbox.

Much like derealization, depersonalization is a symptom that is lower on the scale than PTSD and is actively invoked during inductions such as the Bandler which turns a handshake into the hypnotee starring at their hand and having the sensation of the hand distanced from their mind. Literally dissociating the hand from your body and using that sensation to build a trance.

It's a good induction. All forms of dissociation are not bad things. That is something I want to make sure an audience fully understands. This post is here to destigmatize, particularly when a 101 class was teaching stigma.

Depersonalization is a disconnection from one's sense of self. These are the moments when one feels like they are not the ones living through a moment, they are experiencing themselves from an outside perspective.

Once again, things that are utilized heavily in induction patter.

Source: Mayo Clinic

The derealization advice works well in this case, particularly the idea of creating a "back-up" to restore carefully at the end of a scene.

The big difference though is that depersonalization as a natural thing that those with dissociative disorders do can lead to some bleed when doing suggestions which alter a person's sense of self. I highly recommend an optional suggestion or affirmation that can help a hypnotee ground themselves. That may be too close to therapy for many though.

The hard part about being safe with depersonalization symptoms is that they are typically things that we actively engage with during hypnosis. I guarantee at least one person read "Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of what you say or how you move." and thought of that as an absolute win.

This is where a bit of negotiation and hypnotee agency comes into play. Reality needs to be kept in the room during all hypnosis. Diving into ego-death or erasing reality may be tempting, especially for those who aren't particularly fond of reality or themselves, but it is too dangerous to surrender those things.

My definitive post on the topic has more information.

Though while I'm talking about altered personalities, I want to make something clear which I did not type about much in my Personality Play post...

Plurality

This is a topic on its own which could take on an entire post to itself. I may yet write it. If anyone has read our Madison and Belladonna stories they would know that they are written entirely based upon the life lessons Daja and I have been learning while I began therapy and was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Many of my lessons for how to safely play with plural systems are mixed in with the fiction.

When I say Plural I mean to refer to those who have multiple dissociated personalities, along with circumstances such as dissociative barriers.

There are as many displays of plurality as there are people who experience it. Every system is different. No two people are not on fire (awww).

So with that said, any play on either side of the watch is going to be lead with self-advocating. A hypnotic relationship involving a system (or more than one, even) will need a level of disclosure. Not just that a system exists but how that system manifests. What patterns are known regarding switches, what best works when an unexpected switch occurs, what levels of dissociative barriers exist between alters/parts, what terminology is preferred...

Wait, that's a lot to throw at once.

Our version of plurality is based upon Dissociative Identity Disorder. Which is to say that my system, originating via complex PTSD during childhood, used to have firm dissociative barriers between one another. This meant that, prior to diagnosis, you could have an emotionally charged conversation with me, Dawn, and then the next day Cammie will wake up and depending on the level of dissociation (typically but not always linked to stress or proximity to trauma triggers) will either not remember what happened during that conversation or will not carry the emotions that I had experienced. "Not remembering" can simply be "won't think about"

As I said, it's quite subjective. But the conceit is that with those on the DID spectrum will have a complete disconnect between parts/alters.

For those with less dissociation, but still experience plurality, they may not have amnesia or barriers between parts, allowing themselves to communicate with one another actively.

Within psychological communities there is eternal debate on all of these experiences and one of the more poignant debates is that the difference between DID and OSDD seems to just be a level of severity and that treatment and therapy tactics tend to move DID patients into the OSDD box and so they shouldn't be labeled as separate disorders.

These rules on amnesia, inner communication and emotional consistency between parts typically apply outside of disorders. I do not wish to engage in syscourse. But as above when I mentioned abreactions, those who practice with hypnosis know how capable a mind is to create hypnotically induced personalities. There are experiences outside of the DSM-V and that really shouldn't be a controversial statement.

A switch is when one part/alter trades out for another. The reasons are hyper specific to every system and cannot really be predicted without knowing their circumstances intimately. For instance the scent of lavender will draw me out without fail.

These can happen without warning and during hypnosis. Being cautious about body language, tone of voice and sudden changes in mood are the best you can do without guidance from the one with lived experience.

I'd also cautiously warn to end a scene and check in if there is an unexpected switch and there's no negotiated playbook on what to do in case of a switch.

The first Madison and Belladonna story tells the story of that very circumstance because that happened in my real life.

For safety it is best to try and communicate with the entire system over how to approach any aspect of hypnosis play. Exploring is a collaborative action and it can be a rewarding experience to find what works and what doesn't work. But it does take time.

For some basic "until I know better" rules, I'd say NEVER FORCE A SWITCH is a fairly basic rule, though. Also do not assume consent for a specific part/alter counts as consent for the whole system.

There is so much to say on this topic and I will likely revisit it at another point, but much of the safety tied up with DID and identity based dissociative disorders boils down to the fact that you are negotiating consent for a group and that you cannot always guarantee that the hypnotee at the start of a scene will always be present during the entire scene.

To that, I say treat switches like an abreaction, display acceptance and curiosity and don't get too hung up on the circumstances.

At the end of the day plural folx are just people too, just not person.

So... why did I write all this, anyway?

A lovely friend of mine recently joked that Charmed 2024 was the "Year of Plurality" and in a way they were right. I've been attending the event since 2020 and where my first had been a humble little class of 8 or so people on a Sunday afternoon ran by Vulpes Automata (Vulpes teaches the same class at Plural Positivity, albeit without the hypnosis content, a recording is hosted here) this year's event included many systems declaring themselves as such on their badge, both an in-person and online unconference that stretched beyond the time limits put in place and were feverishly well attended.

It has done my heart so good to see the safety and community growing and becoming more accepting.

It reminds me of the community's slow growth to accepting and embracing the transgender community in the mid-2010s.

Which is why I wish to be firm about trying to stop bad ideas from taking root in how we teach on these topics.

Some may remember that in the 2000s, respectable resources teaching hypnokink used to state firmly to "confirm biological sex" with any potential play partner. Said material has been revised. Times change and communities grow.

So when I see this teaching graphic saying that those who dissociate as part of a mental illness "Can't" be hypnotized, due to safety concerns? I get worried.

It was being used in a 101 class at the very same Charmed event that I am praising for having such good acceptance of plural experiences?

I lived this once as a closeted transgender woman. I don't want to live it again with our DID.

And I remember that "never play with anyone who has a mental illness" used to be taught in the same resources that once said to disclose one's "biological sex". People have taught this in classes and been approached by someone who had a mental illness and told how ignorant it was to teach that they could not be played with.

We, as a community, can do better.

I'd rather a 3 hour 101 become a 4 hour 101 and teach this material than to dismiss those who are the most vulnerable and susceptible and have them seek their trances from those who do not have reservations about safety and ethics.

Thank you for reading. I know this was a big soap box.

[centuriongaragedoors]

Finding Quality Parts and Supplies for Your Garage Door Repair in Perth

If you’re looking for top-quality garage door repair services in Perth, it’s important to make sure that you are using quality parts and supplies. Although many people think that the cost of a job is the most important factor when it comes to selecting a provider, there are other aspects that should be considered before deciding who to go with. In this article, we will look at some of the things you should think about when choosing a garage door repair service in Perth and where to find quality parts and supplies.

One of the most important things to consider when looking for a service provider for your garage door repairs in Perth is their experience with working on similar types of doors. Companies such as Centurion Garage Doors have been operating in the area for over 40 years and can offer an unparalleled experience when it comes to providing quality repair services. Their team of experienced technicians are well equipped with modern tools, making them more than capable of dealing with any problem that may arise. In addition, they can help you choose the right type of replacement part or component that meets your specific needs.

It’s also important to consider the availability of garage door repairs in Perth before you make your decision. You want a company that offers same day or next day service if possible so that you don’t have to wait around too long to get your problem solved. Having access to 24/7 emergency service is often ideal as well since problems don’t always happen during traditional “business hours”. If a company isn't available outside normal business hours, then make sure they can offer an estimate on how long it'll take before they can solve your problem instead.

Another thing to think about is what type of warranty is offered by the repair service provider you're considering in case something goes wrong after repair completion. This may not seem like an issue if everything goes smoothly but it's often better safer rather than sorry when it comes to expensive or complicated repairs like those involving garage doors. CG Doors offers a two-year labour guarantee on all repair work so customers can rest assured knowing their investment will be protected if something does go wrong down the line.

With regards to finding quality parts and supplies for your garage door repair in Perth, CG Doors stocks some of the best brands from trusted manufacturers such as B&D Garador, Lockwood, Gliderol and Centurion just to name a few. They also have access to not only locally sourced products but also international ones as well so customers don't have limitations on what kinds of materials or equipment they need for their project either. Of course, customers are always welcome to come into one of our showrooms where experienced staff members will happily talk them through all available options available from our range too!

At CG Doors we understand how important good quality parts and supplies are when carrying out any kind of garage door repairs and maintenance jobs - not only do they provide safety benefits but they must also meet performance expectations while remaining functional over time too! We recommend having regular maintenance done on items such as springs, drive belts and cables since these require periodic servicing or replacement depending on use levels - even incorrect lubrication or lack thereof can cause issues later down the track without proper upkeep being performed regularly!

We hope this article has helped shed some light onto what factors should be taken into account when selecting your garage door repairs service provider in Perth - remember though; choosing one based solely upon price isn't always ideal since there are always certain risks associated with going for cheaper options! Whether it's sourcing quality parts or getting access to emergency response times. Here at CG Doors, we have got you covered at every step of the way - so why not contact us today?

[tipsycad147]

How to Identify Energy Blocks With a Pendulum

Energy becomes blocked within us due to stored emotions. Anything that stirs emotions within us and then is left to fester.

These blocks can land anywhere in your body but the most common places for them to become stuck are in the hips and shoulders.

When we get these blocks within us, they cause problems. It may be in the form of physical pain or discomfort or it may project outside of our bodies and into our lives. This would look like any problem that arises in your life as a direct result of yourself. I.e. decisions you made based on your belief systems or emotional standpoints.

It’s important to remember that energy is always flowing around and through us. We’re swimming in an energetic soup at all times but we, ourselves are a part of this soup, not separate from it in any way. This energy enters us, fuels us and then travels out of us. Like if the wind could pass between all of our cells instead of becoming blocked by our solidity.

This flow of energy should be allowed to continue uninterrupted for optimal health. When we hold onto emotional energy instead of allowing it to be released, blocks occur. Releasing these blocks can be as simple as, well, releasing them. Unfortunately, we’re stubborn creatures and tend to hold onto them very tightly, despite not wanting to.

There are things that we can do to help release these blocks like stretching, foam rolling, dancing, reiki, color therapy, etc but unless you’re aware of the emotions, trauma, situation, belief, etc that caused them in the first place and work to heal that aspect, they’re most likely going to stay put or return at first chance they get.

Identifying Energy Blocks

In order to find what’s causing your energy blocks, you can use a pendulum to read your chakras. If you don’t have a pendulum, any weighted thing on a string will do.

The chakras point us towards the categories associated with the block so that we may explore our history with those aspects and figure out what’s causing it. Only through healing the cause can they fully be allowed to release and leave.

Dangle it over each chakra individually and record what happens. A good clear chakra will have moderate and even rotation. If it’s blocked, it’ll move very little or not at all. That’ll tell you where the blocks are.

You also may pick up on overactive chakras if they swirl too widely or fast. This can be due to too much attention being poured into these aspects or it could be the chakra trying to pick up the slack of a completely blocked one.

Ovals and other odd findings indicate issues as well.

Once you identify which chakras need work (don’t be surprised if it’s several), you can cross reference them with their aspects and see if you can relate any emotional happenings from your past or present to it.

This is where the real work is. It may be easy to identify, as some of the bigger occurrences in your life are going to be easy to pin point. Sometimes it’s more difficult, as the small things we don’t even remember happening may be to blame.

Things that happened to other people may also be causing energy blocks within you. Anything that ever stirred emotions within you, regardless to whether it happened directly to you, a fictional character in a book you read or across the planet, relayed to you through the news. The possibilities for what causes energy blocks is endless and as complex as life itself.

Once you have an energy block identified, you can begin throwing all of your healing techniques at it.

Stretching

Foam rolling

Dancing

Reiki

Journaling

Affirmations

Meditation

Yoga

Hypnotherapy

Color therapy

etc

Releasing energy blocks can be done in a multitude of ways. Finding the way that works best for you is about trying out different things until you find your favorite.

How to know when it’s healed

Knowing when your energy block has been healed can be tricky.

It’s causing problems in your life, body or something and when it’s healed those problems will also subside. Until then, the patterns will continue to repeat.

It’s hard to say when it’s for sure healed because for the really deep ones they may appear to be gone but then later resurface to be dealt with again because they were only partially healed. Or you may think you healed problem A but it was really problem B that you didn’t even realize was there.

We all have an innate energetic frequency and trauma turns to blocks when this frequency is disrupted. Learn yourself and you’ll learn your frequency on an intuitive level and it becomes easier to differentiate.

It’s complicated but once you figure out all of the pieces it becomes easier and more intuitive. Knowing yourself fully, past, present and future desires helps a lot and the more you uncover about yourself the easier it’ll become to heal.

The momentum will snowball progress so just hang in there. It can take some slow, time consuming frustration to get the momentum started from stand still. If you want some help, you can schedule a consultation with me here.

By  S.S.Blake; Spiritual Life Coach, Yoga + Meditation Teacher and Founder of Earth and Water

https://earthandwater.co/how-to-identify-energy-blocks-with-a-pendulum/

[helianthus-tarot]

FUTURE SPOUSE: Their shadow side and how it affects romantic relationship

This can also be applied to long-term partner. For this reading, the shadow side is not only our darkest side. It can also be the parts of us we are ashamed of or see as bad, our Achilles' heel, the parts we project onto others, qualities we suppress/reject, or parts of us that subconsciously influence our actions without us realizing it. Although I expected the reading to be intense, it turns out to not be dark at all haha. So no extreme things here, just human. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t; the message may be for someone else, or there may be no message for you in this reading.

Disclaimer: Here | Instagram: Here

Instructions:

Think about your person and focus on the topic. Take your time. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose!

Like my readings? Tip here!

PILE 1

Their shadow side Ace of Cups, Knight of Pentacles (The Hermit), Ace of Wands

I think this person has a tendency to be... careful? conscientious? about things they start or any opportunity that comes their way. In this case, a relationship. Instead of allowing some aspects of the situation or themselves to follow the flow, they may feel like they need to be practical, structured, logical and/or studious about it. I’m getting the feeling of “it should be done in a certain way” from this person. It’s like someone who rations their favorite dessert, despite them really liking that dessert they only take a small bite every day because they think that’s the best way to have it.

There is an emotional undercurrent here, but your person has a tendency to not fully embrace their inner fire and emotions (they structure or contain these instead, in some way). They may also project this onto others and think that other people tend to follow emotions and make decisions impulsively. The funny thing is, while they don’t act rashly, they also have a tendency to over-invest their mental energy in things that haven’t started yet (or things that haven’t been properly grounded in reality?). Knight of Pentacles is earth but it’s also associated with Virgo, which is echoed by The Hermit. It’s like a person who considers the pros and cons of getting into a relationship with a single parent when they haven’t even had any conversation with that person yet. Your person may also struggle with adaptability and openness; the qualities are there, but it’s like, the qualities are not channeled healthily or with balance, something is skewed somewhere.

How it affects their romantic relationships in general 7 of Swords, King of Swords (Wheel of Fortune)

Those qualities are not bad per se; being practical, logical and measured is good. But it may cause your person to be slow in acting on opportunities and passionate encounters that come their way, despite them wanting it, because they just have to plan and think about all the ways it can possibly turn out and what is the best way to go at it. It feels like someone who wants to control their fate with all human intelligence that they have because they want things to work, to the point that it may sabotage the end goal. Maybe your person thinks that this is the only way to make a relationship or an opportunity a success.

They get very strategic and logical with their steps in relationships. They may also be skeptical of things or people who sound optimistic or “too good to be true”. This person has a tendency to not tell their partner/suitor about their moves and plans (perhaps it’s just a habit, or perhaps they think it’s something they have to deal with alone) but this will only make them look detached, distant, mysterious and/or analytical about their relationship to their partner or potential romantic suitors. So it may make the other person wonder if your person feels the passion/emotion. It may be difficult for the other person to emotionally connect with them (vice versa).

How it will affect your relationship with them Queen of Swords, The Fool

They will approach your connection from a place of logic or skepticism, at least in the early stage. Talking to them may feel like they are trying to analyze or investigate you. If you want them to immediately fall head over heels for you and follow their heart and be all romeo-and-juliet with you, they probably won’t. With the Queen here, I think they will lower their guard with you, perhaps without realizing it (so there is a chance for an emotional connection to form), but they will not be completely open either. They just need to investigate you first.

If you are more lighthearted than this person (less pedantic or not as extreme), if you are someone who is able to follow your heart or the flow, then keep being in that energy. But don’t be a doormat, respond to their method without a heavy emotional attachment on your part (tip: look at how air signs do it). Don’t be too attached to them right away because it may hurt you when they are still in their logic about it. Give them time and space, live your life, but don’t intentionally do things that can give them reasons to distrust you if this is not who you are (eg. flirting with people who give you attention just to make them jealous, when you are normally not like this). They need to understand what they are dealing with before they can take a leap, you just need to show up and stay true to yourself.

PILE 2

Their shadow side 7 of Cups, 6 of Swords, 5 of Swords, 3 of Swords

To summarize, I’m getting that this person does well in the early stage of a connection, but they may have issues with maintaining or solidifying that. It’s like... they are used to the feeling of transition– something not here and not there– being in limbo. It may give them some kind of comfort (because it’s familiar), despite it may also bring problems into their life. They may have gotten used to this feeling because of a lack of stability and consistency in their early life. I wonder if this person has never had long-term relationships, I don’t think they know how to deal with a connection once it moves past a certain stage– because a lot of their relationships didn't go that far OR whenever a relationship is about to enter that deeper stage, they sabotage it without realizing it.

I feel like this person doesn’t really know how to communicate their vulnerable thoughts (or topics that make them feel vulnerable); eg. things that make them sad, things that they are worried about, how their past experiences have influenced their current tendencies, what they need, etc– all of those things that are needed in order to form a deeper connection. It may be related to trust issues, anxiety, needing reassurance but needing space, wanting to connect but being unable to. Instead of directly talking about their situation– they may ‘attack’ the other person with words that can trigger an argument, or they distance themselves from the other person and when the other person asks about it– they get annoyed. It’s like Aquarius and Scorpio mix, desiring intimacy but at the same time being distant. They may project this onto other people as other people being too attached too soon (or seeing things that aren't there), too smothering, or other people just don’t understand them.

How it affects their romantic relationships in general 8 of Cups, Queen of Wands, Ace of Pentacles

I did talk a bit about this part in the previous paragraph. But to continue, your person may also look charming at first, very engaging and curious, they are great at starting a connection or ‘igniting the fire’ so to speak. Probably a good flirt. Receiving their attention may make people feel special. The phrase ‘loving the chase’, this person is quite similar to that. So people start to expect more or want to get into a relationship with them. But once that happens, their issues start to come out.

Whether they realize this or not, they are great at making people fall in love with them and giving the impression that a stable relationship with them is possible, yet they are probably unaware that once the relationship gets deeper and more emotional, they find it hard to maintain it. This person feels more comfortable leaving (especially when pressured) than connecting properly– where all shameful parts of themselves get exposed. They probably have a fearful-avoidant attachment style, there are combinations of avoidant and anxious tendencies.

How it will affect your relationship with them The Sun Rx, The Devil, Justice, 7 of Pentacles Rx, 2 of Swords

You can easily get addicted to their energy or their attention, or whatever opportunity and possibility they represent when you are in their presence. For many of you, your person has a knack for making it seem like they are opening their soul and connecting on a deeper level with you, with people in general– but actually they don’t. I don’t think they realize it. I think it’s just the effect they have on other people when they pay attention or when they talk about something with those people. You may sense something deeply personal or intimate from what they share with you, like you get a taste of what else is possibly there in their soul, which can make you want more of it. Like that Venus-Pluto effect. This is also probably what happens to other people who are interested in them.

I think the way to avoid being stuck in this addiction is to be logical about it. Focus on what they actually give you instead of what it feels like they are giving you. Regardless of your gender and sexuality, there is that advice that is often given to women who are interested in men. The advice is to focus on what is clear. If he hasn’t said it and hasn’t actually done it, it means it’s not there and won’t be there until the foreseeable future where he actually takes appropriate actions. Until then, do not be attached. Be clear about what you want, communicate that, and let them make the decision. Don’t wait around or else you may get stuck in limbo that they are comfortable with.

PILE 3

Their shadow side King of Wands, Ace of Wands, 9 of Wands (8 of Swords), 5 of Pentacles (The Emperor)

Your person may be the type who does extravagant or romantic things for their partner, eg. making sure there are rose petals in the room they booked for your vacation, or booking a romantic dinner for two by the beach, planning their date from morning to evening. They initiate, they make things happen. It doesn’t sound like a shadow side, does it? It is tho. Because this person internalizes rejection or things going wrong as their fault; their lack of control, their lack of determination, their inability to love properly, etc.

It’s interesting because you have strong masculine energy here (regardless of gender), but there is also fear of abandonment, anxiety. It reminds me of the ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ idiom, but the difference is, instead of waiting, this person goes out and tries their best to make sure the shoe– doesn’t drop. This fear is the drive behind their proactive actions. They think that in order to prevent undesirable outcomes, they need to control the situation and bend it in a way that can make their vision/dream a reality. So if they visualize a future with someone, they will do whatever it takes to make sure that future happens.

How it affects their romantic relationships in general 7 of Swords, 10 of Wands, 5 of Swords Rx

If they have a partner who does not return the same energy, the relationship can get heavily one-sided. They may be the one who takes care of everything, who manages every problem in the relationship. They are probably outwardly masculine and a go-getter, and I don’t want to use this word because it sounds kinda harsh– but they can also be a doormat. Not because of a lack of strength. It’s because they care a lot, it's because they love, it's because they are invested in the future they see and the life they want. It’s like they have an optimistic fiery inner child who gets so excited about the act of loving itself, about doing things with the other person, about experiencing life with the other person. Even if it requires them to take the blame, to carry the burden, to suppress their needs and hold back their thoughts, to not start an important conversation because their partner may turn it into an argument.

I wonder if this person has been in a toxic relationship before, with a partner who took advantage of their proactiveness and passion. I’m getting the image of someone who wants to be treated like a queen/king but instead of giving back the same energy to your person and appreciates their effort, the partner expects it and throws tantrums or makes things difficult for your person when they don’t get their way. And your person gives in as much as they can, because they want to make the future they envision happen and because they want to avoid being abandoned. That’s the submissive part of them.

But if they are put in this position too often, at some point they may lose their temper because of the stress. They most likely will regret it tho because this is not the energy they want to embrace in a relationship; they want to be the passionate and loving King of Wands, instead of the angry king. But anyone would crack under that kind of stress. So yea don’t take advantage of them.

How it will affect your relationship with them Page of Wands, The Hanged Man, Page of Cups

I don’t think it will negatively affect your relationship. Honestly this person has probably just been with the wrong people, hence their past relationship(s) fed on their wound/fear and made it worse.

Both of you are probably similar in some way, or your souls are connected in some way. Both of you will have this desire to understand and explore each other and the life you can share together. You both will learn from each other, softly and in a fun way. There will be this spiritual growth and realizations that bring a positive and motivating effect on both of you to try more, to experiment more, to experience more. So you will likely return the same energy to them, which means the relationship will not be one-sided, and it will not be harmful to them.

I feel like one person here is more emotionally soft and responsive/open, and the other is a bit more excitable and fun-loving. It’s like your inner child and theirs will be able to connect with each other, each one of you will bring your own individuality and ideas into the connection but you guys will be on the same vibration– so to speak. Instead of being heavy and burdensome, the connection will become lighthearted (like teenage love) and enlightening (like a spiritual connection).

PILE 4

Their shadow side The Hermit, 2 of Cups, 7 of Swords Rx (Page of Cups)

I don’t know whether this is a funny situation or... a serious one. With 7 of Swords in reverse and Page of Cups, I’m mostly getting immaturity and inability to properly communicate what they are thinking. I’m not getting malice. It’s like a child wanting to connect and interact with the kids in the neighborhood but they start a conversation with a snide comment. Maybe your person spent time alone quite a lot growing up, maybe they lack social skills or social interactions, or maybe they are neurodivergent.

Sometimes they don’t quite know how to act in a relationship, although they very much care about their relationships. There is that edge, but also that innocence. I feel like this person tries, but they are just awkward or “off”? about it. Something about them is not 'typical' here. So when the other person does not respond positively or does not try to connect back with them (regardless how), your person will feel rejected and feel bad about themselves, they may pull away and want to be alone with their thoughts and sulk, which doesn’t really help their case (in order to learn how to be in a connection, we need people to interact with).

How it affects their romantic relationships in general Death, Knight of Wands, 10 of Swords

Eh either the relationships your person forms crash and burn the moment they make social blunders or say some shit and unintentionally be insensitive to the other person, OR the relationships they form typically go through many stages; it may typically start fine, but then they make some comments or don’t act ‘right’ in their connection and it causes an argument, and they don’t know how to solve it, or they may unintentionally make it worse, and the fight ensues. So the relationships they have had might have been intense, exhausting, back and forth, on and off. It’s like trying to make two puzzle pieces fit each other when they don’t quite fit.

Your person does not intentionally sabotage their relationship, they want things to work. It’s just that they are… bad at it? Something is off somewhere but, like, innocently instead of maliciously. I’m not sure what placement influences this exactly, but my brother is an Aries rising and his jokes can come off insulting (he doesn't mean to be insulting, his jokes just... don’t work sometimes) which usually ends up pissing me off lmaoooo so I push back hard, he gets offended, I get offended, and we don't talk for a while before we bury the hatchet. It’s like that, it starts off innocent but then something is wrong somewhere and before you know it– everything is burning.

Different levels of seriousness and intensity for different people tho; for some of you, their previous relationships might have been toxic, for others of you their relationships were just immature. If given the chance, your person would be willing to learn, which is why their relationship may go through several stages (before the relationship cannot be saved anymore and the other person or both give up).

How it will affect your relationship with them 5 of Swords, 4 of Wands Rx, Knight of Pentacles

It will be like that. What happened in their previous relationships may happen in your relationship, although I think yours will be less intense and just… pettier. It’s like bickering about toilet paper, it can be annoying but it’s not exactly serious. It’s a relationship that requires effort and adjustment. There will be disagreements, having different desires/methods, you guys may bicker with each other and when this happens it can make the relationship feel like– it’s not ideal, or it’s not what you have been fantasizing about.

But 4 of Wands are still here. It is possible for the relationship to be a happy place for both of you. Keep working on it until you both find the right place where you both can fit well together; like having all the pieces in the right slots finally. When you both go through conflicts and find resolutions in making this work (which may involve learning about each other and finding ways that can work for both of you), this experience will make your relationship stronger, more mature, and more committed. So if there’s a conflict again, as long as there is effort and commitment, you guys will find your way out of it.

[dwellordream]

“The mistaken claim that Amazons must have received their name because they were single-breasted was widely repeated by Greek and Roman writers, and every author thereafter is obliged to grapple with the paradoxical image. A fiction invented in the fifth century BC was behind the notion. This fake “fact” surfaced at least two centuries after the tribal name “Amazon” for an ethnic group of men and women was used by the Greeks (chapter 1). The historian Hellanikos of Lesbos (b. 490 BC) described Amazons as “a host of golden-shielded, silver-axed, man-loving, boy-killing females.” Then Hellanikos attempted to make their foreign name “Amazon” into a Greek word. The Greeks were fond of this sort of etymological exercise of forcing Greek meanings onto loanwords from other languages, based on similarities to sounds in Greek. The strong tendency of ancient writers to create and accept crude, “patently absurd” word derivations is well known.

In this case, Hellanikos maintained that Amazones must mean “breastless” or “lacking breast” because a- means “without” in Greek and mazos sounded to Greek ears a bit like mastos, the Greek word for “breast.” A rival folk etymology suggested that the name meant “without grain,” because maza was Greek for “barley.” The Scythian nomads were in fact meat-eaters, not vegetarians, but this dietary label was much too dull to compete with the lurid image of women who sacrificed their breasts to become warriors. Hellanikos’s false etymology demanded a story to explain the Amazon’s missing breast. Various dreadful scenarios were proposed for the method of this alleged self-mutilation, which was based solely on specious wordplay.

Airs, Waters, Places, a treatise attributed to the physician Hippocrates (fourth century BC), stated that Sarmatian women seared the right breast of baby girls with a red-hot bronze tool, so that the right arm would be stronger. The idea here was that the potential power of the breast would be displaced to the corresponding arm. It is physiologically true that handedness often corresponds to slightly larger hands and feet on the dominant side of the body, and that habitual exercise of one limb or hand can result in development of larger bones and musculature. (As noted in the previous chapter, bioarchaeological signs of right-handedness and larger finger bones among archers have been ob- served in the skeletal remains of warriors of both sexes in burial sites across Scythia.) Hellanikos and Hippocrates were contemporaries of Herodotus, our earliest and most accurate Greek source of detailed information about Sarmatians, Scythians, and Amazons based on his firsthand observations and interviews around the Black Sea in the fifth century BC.

Significantly, however, even though Herodotus describes many gruesome and extraordinary Scythian customs, he never mentions this self- inflicted breast deformity. Nevertheless, the idea took hold. Diodorus, Strabo, Pomponius Mela, Justin, and Orosius repeated the tale that Amazons used an iron tool to cauterize the breast at infancy or before pu- berty so that it would not hinder their use of the bow and spear. Pomponius Mela said that removal of the right breast made them “ready for action, able to withstand blows to the chest like men.” According to Apollodorus and Curtius, Amazons “pinched off” the right breast but retained the left for nursing their babies. Arrian described Amazons who came to join Alexander’s campaign in Persia (330 BC); to him, the right exposed breast appeared to be smaller than the covered left breast (see chapter 20).

We know that at least three later writers disagreed with the one-breast notion. John Tzetzes, the Byzantine commentator on Hellanikos, pointed out that the etymology was untrue because cutting off a breast would cause fatal bleeding. Another author, Philostratus (third century AD), rejected Hellanikos’s claim and proposed a more logical—and more humane—explanation, that amazon actually meant “not breast- fed.” Philostratus argued that real-life Amazons love their children but do not nurse them because the practice results in mollycoddled children and saggy breasts, undesirable traits in their warrior culture. Instead, the nomadic horsewomen nourish their babies with mare’s milk, honey, and dew. Tryphiodorus, a Greek poet of the fifth century AD, also defined amazon as “unsuckled.” Such a concept was far removed from Greek culture, with its stay-at-home nursing mothers, but seemed reasonable for nomadic hunter-warrior women.

A similar practice appears in a sixth-century AD Roman description of a northern nomad tribe called the Scrithiphini (probably the Sami people of the western Arctic region) whose women and men hunted together. According to Procopius, their infants were not nursed but fed with bone marrow and swaddled in cradle boards hung on trees while the mother and father pursued game. Once the sensational “factoid” of one breast became embedded in the catalog of Amazon attributes, each successive writer routinely included it in his description of the women warriors. Perhaps the concept seemed appropriate because Amazons represented the opposite of Greek wives and mothers, and their “terrifying asymmetry” signaled their barbarism.

Some modern scholars suggest that deliberately removing one breast was intended to symbolize the Amazons’ willful destruction of their own femininity and so resonated with Greek men who feared women who behaved like men. For Greek women, the removal of one breast would signify the terrible sacrifice Amazons made to become more like men. For other scholars “one-breastedness” signi- fied Amazons’ freedom from nursing and maternal attachments: Amazons “don’t need breasts because they will never raise children.” But many ancient Greek texts described Amazon mothers, and some referred to nursing babies (not to mention the archaeological discoveries of female warriors buried with children; chapter 4). According to another theory, Amazon “breastlessness” stood for the “sexual unripeness of the nubile adolescent” Greek maiden. Some scholars point out that Greeks associated the right side of the body with masculinity and the left with femininity. Most classical writers described removal of the right breast while the left was exposed, but some reversed the sides. And Greek artists were inconsistent about which of the two breasts was exposed in Amazon battle scenes.

If the concept of removing a breast was such an important symbolic attribute for the Greeks, then one must wonder why no single-breasted Amazons appear in classical art. Despite the popularity into modern times of “just-so stories” about how the Amazon “lost her breast,” ancient Greek painters and sculptors invariably depicted the mythic Amazons double-breasted. As noted, symmetry was an essential quality of the Greek ideal of beauty. Amazons of myth and art were always portrayed as beautiful heroic women, the equals of the handsome aristocratic Greek heroes. Perhaps physical asymmetry in artistic scenes would be jarring to Greek aesthetic sensibilities. (Ugly or deformed people appear in artistic illustrations of ancient comedies or scenes of daily life but are rare in heroic situations.) Moreover, artistic portrayals of Amazons are often erotic—showing mutilated women could interfere with sexual appeal.

Vase painters and sculptors often emphasized Amazons’ bosoms with diaphanous drapery or body-hugging garments. Another artistic “convention” was to show fighting and wounded Amazons in chitons (loose, short, belted tunics fastened at the shoulder—also worn by Greek males) worn in exomis style, with one breast and shoulder exposed. Art historians have interpreted this typical Amazonian pose in many different ways. Was revealing a breast an erotic gesture? Was the “one breast exposed” intended as a subtle, less graphic stand-in for the “one breast missing” literary motif ? Was a bared breast meant to evoke sympathy, in the case of wounded Amazons? Was flaunting the breast in the midst of battle a way of taunting or distracting the male heroes, or was it to make sure the men (and the viewer) understood that they were being attacked by women? In fact, one exposed breast reflected practical active attire. The archer goddess Artemis and the huntress Atalanta were dressed for action this way, and so were many Greek male archers, workers, warriors, and heroes. In Greece and other ancient cultures, the dominant shoulder of active figures was often left unclothed for freedom of movement.

Apparently Greek artists and their audiences were not persuaded by the literary trope that female archers were hindered by their breasts. But if artists never depicted one-breasted Amazons, why did the idea catch on and persist so stubbornly in Greek literature? Did some ancient cultures really practice breast removal or suppression? Was there some exotic custom or mode of dress that could have been misunderstood in antiquity, leading Greeks to believe reports of “breastless” or “single- breasted” women warriors? An atrocious practice in West and Central Africa today results in the maiming of millions of young girls by their mothers who hope to prevent rape. “Breast ironing” involves cauterizing budding breasts with a heated metal tool to inhibit breast development. Is it possible that travelers’ tales of similar African “breast-searing” customs were known to the writers of the Hippocratic texts and projected onto Sarmatian women and Amazons of Scythia?

There is no way of knowing how ancient this “secret” ritual of Central Africa really is, and in the absence of any other evidence the likelihood of a similar practice in ancient Eurasia seems slight. Nonetheless, the coincidence is striking, given that several ancient Greek sources mention the use of a heated metal tool. A fictional romance written in Egypt by Dionysius Skytobrachion, about Amazons transported to a Libyan setting, included ethnological details from North Africa to give local flavor to his tale (see chapter 23). When girls were born to the Amazons, he wrote, “both their breasts were seared so that they would not develop into maturity, for they thought that projecting breasts were a hindrance in warfare [and] this is why they are called by the Greeks Amazons.” He is the only ancient author to say both breasts were cauterized, as in modern reports of breast ironing. Did the author know of an African breast-searing custom? The answer is unknown.

A less violent, practical ethnological tradition of “breast suppression” for the comfort of horsewomen existed much closer to home—in the heart of ancient Amazon territory. Since antiquity girls and women of the Black Sea–Caucasus were trained to be expert archers and riders who hunted and fought. Ethnographic evidence among Circassians, Ossetians, Adigeans, Karbardians, Abkhazians, and other groups points to a long tradition of “flattening the breasts during maidenhood.” When girls were seven to ten years of age, their mothers laced a leather vest or corset around their chests, to suppress movement when the girls were riding and shooting. The leather corset was worn until marriage. On the wedding night, the groom slowly, patiently unlaced the fifty-some ties to demonstrate his love, respect, and self-control. Early European travelers in the Caucasus described this traditional article of young women’s attire, which later became known (and modified) as the “Circassian corset.” In the Caucasus, commented the German historian Julius von Klaproth in 1807, “young unmarried females compress their breasts with a close leather jacket, in such a manner that they are scarcely perceptible.” Archaeologist John Abercromby remarked in 1891,“There is nothing improbable in believing that the Caucasian custom has a long row of centuries behind it.”

One of the Nart sagas refers indirectly to the custom of enclosing the torso of girls in leather corsets. In one saga the hero Warzameg mocks a young woman for having “breasts like old bouncing pumpkins.” The simile reveals Caucasian cultural values, notes the Nart saga translator John Colarusso. Ridiculing large, unrestrained, bobbling breasts was meant as a great insult. Among horse peoples of the Caucasus, swinging, pendulous breasts were considered unsightly and awkward “for one simple reason.” Colarusso explains: “If a woman were to go galloping on her horse across the steppes with large breasts unconstrained, she would be uncomfortable and in pain from their bouncing. So there was a premium on small, firm breasts” for active outdoorswomen. Notably, in the 1920s, European and American women’s new liberated, active lifestyle coincided with tight bandeaus to minimize the chest and flatten the breasts into a boyish silhouette.

Athletic women of most body types tend to favor some sort of bosom support, and modern mounted archers wear tight bodices. It’s reasonable to guess that in antiquity, most female riders, archers, fight- ers, and athletes bound or supported their breasts in some fashion. “Support, binding, or restraint, or some form of sports bra for riding” was probably used by mounted nomad women. Greek artists often depicted Amazons with tight-fitting tunics and diagonal chest bands that may have functioned something like a modern “cross-your-heart” brassiere, notes one art historian. Was there any other special attire that could have been misunderstood by the Greeks as “breastlessness” in antiquity? In vase paintings, many Amazons are clad in cuirasses (rigid bronze breastplates), scaled armored tunics, laced corselets, and upper garments and straps, much like those worn by men and all of which had a “flattening effect”.

These artistic depictions reflected the chest armor of padded or rigid materials and scaled armor worn by real nomad warriors of both sexes in antiquity. Archaeological discoveries in Saka-Scythian-Sarmatian lands have turned up a variety of armored tunics fashioned from horn, hooves, bone, and small gold plates or scales in the graves of both men and women (chapters 4, 12, and 13). Baldrics (diagonal chest straps) and wide belts of leather with gold, bronze, and iron plates were also common in male and female burials. If the Greeks observed fighting women clad in protective chest armor that looked just like male armor, the flat-chested effect would help explain descriptions of “breastless” Amazons.

Modern “Amazon” fantasies often picture women wearing curvaceous metallic chest armor molded in the shape of breasts, à la Wonder Woman and Xena, Warrior Princess (fig. 16.4). An ancient version seems to be depicted in figure 5.1. But such erotic “breasted” armor is imprac- tical and dangerous. Experienced female soldiers of any era know that breast-shaped metal chest armor would be life-threatening. Why? Because cone-or dome-shaped projections would direct the force of blows of weapons toward the sternum and heart. Even a fall could be fatal, causing the sharp metal separating the breast hollows to injure or even fracture the breastbone. Therefore, armored fighting women in antiquity would have worn padding under chest plates shaped exactly like the men���s, presenting a flat surface or a ridge down the center to deflect blows away from the heart.

In antiquity, some male and female warriors wore heavier armor on one side of their bodies, leaving the other side less protected or exposed, which could give an impression of single-breastedness. As we saw in the archaeology of Scythians (chapter 4), the skeletons of warrior men and women indicated that most battle injuries were on the left side of the body, dealt by right-handed opponents. Heavy armor for a gladiator’s sword arm and shoulder was used in Roman times, especially for the gladiator known as the “Thracian.” Suits of armor with pauldrons, heavy plates protecting one shoulder and arm, were often used in mounted combat. One-sided armor or shoulder padding unfamiliar to the Greeks could have been mistaken for single-breastedness and could account for Arrian’s report of the asymmetrical chests of the Amazons encountered by Alexander.

The notion of single-breasted Amazons—which seems to signal something about a warrior women’s sexuality, willpower, and masculine strength achieved by sacrificing a feminine attribute—has clung to the standard literary description of Amazons for more than two millen- nia. It seizes the imagination because it is gruesome, just as the tale of African mothers who cauterize their daughters’ breasts grabs attention today. A seductive false “logic” still clings to the ancient image. To people who have never drawn a Scythian-style bow or observed women archers competing in Mongolia, it seems to make sense that womanly breasts might present an encumbrance in archery. But drawing the bowstring back along the cheek or holding the bow out from the body while turning to the side means that breasts are no hindrance and there is no danger of injury to them.

Instead, a real concern is that loose clothing might interfere with the bowstring. Therefore archers wear body-hugging upper garments, like those shown on many Amazons in ancient art. For beginning longbow archers, the most vulnerable area is the inner forearm, which can be struck by the bowstring. Yet the notion of protecting the chest persists in archery. Women—and men too—are often encouraged, even required, to wear chest-guards, even though expert male and female archers find that close-fitting shirts and a forearm guard are the only safety requirements. An analogy exists in modern boxing. Unsubstantiated safety concerns were long used to justify excluding women from boxing. Women won the right to box in the 1970s in the United States but were required to wear an unwieldy plastic chest shield, which caused more cuts and bruises and made the chest a much bigger target. In 2008, medical experts convinced the boxing commission to lift the regulation.”

- Adrienne Mayor, “Breasts: One or Two?” in The Amazons: Lives and Legends of Warrior Women across the Ancient World