#so far im just more anxious and thats it

[casual-eumetazoa]

finally gathered the strength to lower the dose of one of my meds that i want to quit and oh god am i anxious today after taking three quarters of my usual dose,,, wish me luck or something, this is just day one

[boarloved-art]

Wei Wuxian should be able to get drunk for once. I think he'd either be singing bawdy drinking songs on the roof of the Jingshi or he'd be getting irrevocably lost no matter where he is. He's found in the bushes behind the mountains like a cryptid, and then he's like "I can't believe you all got lost" (extremely slurred) as if he didn't get embarrassed by something Lan Wangji had said and just somehow disappeared when everyone looked back at him

oh ABSOLUTELY im walking with u and nodding and agreeing, i can see him becoming an absolute menace to keep track of at his drunkest.

anyway heres wonderwall The Gang (Wangxian & their fave group of ducklings) in a city known for its STRONG wine and wuxian being like well. ur all grown now, youre technically not juniors anymore. we have to see whos lasting the longest against this stuff!, smash cut to a suspiciously wei ying-less group of the worlds drunkest cultivators being wrangled through the woods by designated driver hanguang-jun, with at least 2 of them clinging to his robes at all times.

[cockworms]

so I work two jobs, at an auto parts store and a cafe and I've noticed that people at the parts place think im a dude and the cafe customers assume im a girl its so interesting to see

[theloveinc]

i don't really want to bc like. there's many reasons for me to stay but. i don't think this tumblr life is for me anymore

[waterfallofspace]

A Word-Filled Update

that no one's asking forrrr~

Sooooo, hiya~ ^^

Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)

Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3

(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)

Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)

That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.

This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.

But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~

So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.

I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)

Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~

I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!

Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.

So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~

There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3

And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~

[phagodyke]

pain so bad I woke up 2 hours ago and haven't been able to sleep again and I have work today :(

[bitegore]

getting mental healthcare is really cool, its like asking someone to take a sledgehammer to your self-interest and then saying thank you after because it makes your life moderately easier even though you have to deal with this shit now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

[waywardsalt]

not tooooo sure how i think i want to go with bellum's... tone of voice? for this fic

[honeytonedhottie]

dealing with stress⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀📔

in this post i'll be talking about how i deal and manage my stress in ways that work for me, and how i soothe myself…💬🎀

AFFIRM ;

if ur an anxious manifestor, affirming will be ur best friend. affirm what u know to be true until it soothes you. if ur not into the law of assumption then thats fine too, affirming can still help you. affirming to urself that everything is going to be okay really helps.

some things that i like to affirm when im going through a lot of stress are ->

♡ ik that i am in control

♡ everything is going to work out fine

♡ i am at ease because everything is working out for me

♡ everything is coming together so beautifully for me

♡ i am totally in control, this is MY reality

REGULATING NERVOUS SYSTEM ;

so we have this thing in our bodies called the vagus nerve. it regulates ur heart rate, digestion, speaking and stimulating it helps anxiety and stress. to stimulate it you can ->

♡ hum or sing

♡ gargling

the reason behind these two points so far is that because ur using ur vocal chords it stimulates the vagus nerve (see chart above)

♡ exhale for longer than u inhale (DEEP BREATHSS)

TAKE SOME TIME OFF ;

you deserve to take a break from the world sometimes. take a day or two off of school if u can, or take a day or two off of ur work if ur able to and just get it together. do some meditation, take a nice long shower and a soothing nap. some more things to do while taking some time off/time to urself are

♡ meditate

♡ journalling

something that i do when i have a lot of stress is a healing journal "dump page" so i go into my healing journal and dump whatever has been on my mind, like literally everything and just get everything out of my system…💬🎀

♡ take a nice long shower

♡ take a nap

take the shower BEFORE u take the nap. i promise it feels so good to be clean and in fresh clothes and just bury yourself under ur blankets and RESTTT…💬🎀

♡ do some yoga

♡ do some breath control

♡ talk to yourself (it actually rly helps)

RELIEVE ;

relieve the tension and stress that u feel by doing things that are strenuous. like working out or something. just find ways in which to relieve the stress and tension from your days through doing something. that way it can become a habit and it can cue ur body to know when its time to relax.

[celestialtarot11]

𝜗𝜚 What will they tell you? How will things move forward?

Hi friends! Welcome back to another PAC! Any and all likes, reblogs comments are appreciated! Do enjoy <3 let me know if ya’ll want an 18+ spicy tarot reading 👀

astro pt 1 || astro pt 2. || pac readings || 🤍

𝜗𝜚 Pile 1

knight of swords, the sun, 2 of wands

Hi there pile 1! Your person wants to message you right away. You two could’ve been talking about vacation, a getaway, traveling to see each other. Or in laws is what I heard. Meeting the family. Your person is super excited about this trip and to be planning it. If you haven’t heard from them it’s a yes! I see plans moving forward really fast so expect there to be a sudden rush of energy from your person. Maybe you two live at a distance right now and you two are planning a meeting. Maybe you guys want to talk about “where are we heading with this relationship” kind of talk. They are open to it and want to make this relationship go deeper <3. They are open to working with you. I don’t know if you or your person have a different cultural background, but there’s a lot of admiration here for it and a sense of “im learning so much from you” thats so cute 🤍 they are thinking of buying you flowers for those of you who are physically together with your person! They just are worried “omg so many flowers which are their favorite” 😭🤍 its so cute. They’re a little anxious in an energetic way, they have trouble sleeping because they’re so excited. I feel like this person is so nostalgic and sappy but in a cute way lol. Or—for some of you—you’re being told you received the father’s blessing of some kind. Whether in marriage, or the father approving of your connection, or an enthusiastic relationship with the father :) there will be good news and welcoming arms! Thanks so much for being here ya’ll I appreciate your support!

Craving more insights? I do personal readings too—deep, detailed, all about you. Tap [here] to get your own magical reading today! Limited spots, and I love tuning into your energy.

𝜗𝜚 Pile 2:

justice, page of cups, 2 of wands

okay pile 1 also got 2 of wands lol, but hey! Welcome to your reading 🤍 your person is thinking of reaching out—some of you may be in the early stages of this connection, or not much has happened in terms of hanging out or moving things forward. Some of you went on a few dates but it sort of fell off, due to each others schedules being different is what im hearing. Its a busy time. But you’ll be receiving a text soon about “hey, dinner?” And plans :). There’s this warm feeling, they miss you. They see this moving forward and now their schedule has cleared up. I dont know if you two are going out in a group setting or a party, but there will be an opportunity to celebrate here. Could be your birthday, or theirs, or a friend of a friend! But either way you two are excited. I see a sense of “yay I’m happy to see them again!” And its quite cute. They may surprise you with how well they can dress. I feel like your person usually is composed and put together, but with you they’re a simp. Total simp. Lmao. They can’t help it. They truly miss your energy! I also got a spicy message: “dont stop doing what you’re doing, keep doing what you do. Do you. Do you like the way I put it down on you?” It’s do you by Jay Sean. They really wanna put the moves on you!! They also really want to take their time and not mess anything up with you, i feel as though this connection is authentic to them and speaks to their inner child. Expect there to be flirtation, playfulness, making plans, etc. Thanks to everyone who helped me and this blog come a far way! <3 feel free to comment, like and reblog!

Craving more insights? I do personal readings too—deep, detailed, all about you. Tap [here] to get your own magical reading today! Limited spots, and I love tuning into your energy.

𝜗𝜚 Pile 3:

The emperor, 9 of pentacles, 10 of pentacles

Holy mommy & daddy energy. Lmao. Hey guys, right off—yeah you two have a really big dominant energy. I feel like you two are seen as a very strong couple, or have very strong potential to be a couple. But you two value your independence! This is not something you both want to compromise, and this is something you both agree on. Your person wants to continue building a stable life and relationship with you, and they may be telling you about a promotion they got at work :) either that or, “we hit xyz amount of savings we can afford a house,” or to move out! Very happy, good news. This is coming in fast, this message. I feel it’s something you both already knew would happen because you two are financially set and stable, and now its just a matter of saying yes. This could be you two moving to another place together, traveling, getting married, engaged (i didn’t wanna ruin the surprise if this is the case for ya’ll) but the big rock seems more and more likely…😂 if ya’ll aren’t going to be married yet, i see your person and you at least putting your foot down on a living space and actively working together to create a sustainable life. You two have worked so hard. I feel that they may want to take the stress of your shoulders by cooking you a nice meal, having a romantic dinner night with wine (if you drink) and food. They want to take charge for the night and show you that you don’t have to do it alone. Orrr this could be a conversation about kids. Maybe a family business. Having pets 👀 but anyway, thanks so much for being here ya’ll! Appreciate all your support.

Craving more insights? I do personal readings too—deep, detailed, all about you. Tap [here] to get your own magical reading today! Limited spots, and I love tuning into your energy.

[taintedcigs]

— if you're feeling lucky

pairing: fwb!eddie munson x f!reader

summary: friends with benefit never ends well... or does it? based on this prompt by @dumplingsjinson (wc: 1.2k+)

warnings: just absolute fluff, maybe tiny angst, and a kiss, and thats it, oh and my shitty writing.

author's note: ignore the corny summary im lazy. the title has no meaning i just luv that song omfg. not proofread. based on this lovely request i got from angel @voyeurmunson i hope i did it justice i am so very rusty!!!! and the ending is rushed i AM SORRY

pleaseeee reblog to support me. ty!! mwah.

Y​​ou knew this would eventually happen. You agreed to this stupid "arrangement" knowing that this would be the outcome.

Just because you couldn't keep your feelings in check. Just because the two of you kissed hazily one night, minds filled with each other and the cheap weed Eddie provided. Like a knot that had been waiting to be undone, unraveling, so quickly, fading just as much—if not more quicker.

You should've seen it coming.

From the way your last rendezvous ended, when you accidentally kissed him goodbye on his way home. It was a simple, honest mistake.

Or was it?

The two of you had a set of rules; fucking with no feelings attached, make sure none of it got in the way of your friendship. It was supposed to be simple.

But that goodbye kiss was intimate, more than just fucking, and much more than your stupid friendship.

His cheeks burned a salmon pink, your plushy lips tainting his with something he had never experienced before; pure affection. Making him splutter, almost tripping on his way out of your house.

You barely registered what you did when he finally left, too enamored to even notice. Your son-of-a-bitch subconscious playing its tricks on you, feelings acting out before your logic can even kick in.

Stress ate away at you, but you assumed he wouldn't make a big deal of it. That this wouldn't ruin anything. He would forget this by Monday.

By the time he ignores your fifth call, and even goes as far as to avoid you in town, you start to blame your poor assumption skills. Try to ignore the insecure feelings that churn in your stomach.

Anger replaces those thoughts in an instant, because how could he just fucking end things without even talking to you?

Did he not even like you as a friend anymore?

Did one kiss really disgust him this much?

A lump sits in your throat at the unanswered questions, anxiety seeping through your skin, eating away at your organs, consuming you.

And after hours of endless anxious thoughts rummaging through your mind—and a long talk with your girlfriends where they urged you to talk to him, you end up at his door, arms crossed against your chest, wearing a scowl.

He opens the door with a bewildered gaze, your name falling softly from his lips, like a prayer, devoid of the lewdness it held than the last time you saw him. Much more affectionate, shattering your heart in every way possible.

"What is your problem?" You don't mean to go all out on him, especially when looks this good, bittersweet gaze meeting yours, tousled curly hair framing his face just in the way that has your heart skipping a beat.

"W—what?" He splutters.

You brush past him in a fury, "do you hate me now or something?" Your anger doesn't hold the same weight anymore, tone now laced with insecurity, a sadness that finds its way into your skin.

You don't let him talk, "do you realize how fucking childish this is? Ignoring my calls? Avoiding me?" He watches the way your brows quirk when you explain yourself, teeth pulling on your bottom lip worry, he wants to kiss it, your thoughts, worries away.

"That's not—"

"You could've just talked to me if—if you had any problem, ignoring me is fucked up."

Plushy lips open to speak, to explain himself, but you don't let him, fluttering your thick lashes at him, rambling on and getting more and more upset each time you spoke, tugging at his heartstrings, making him want to slap himself for being the source of your worries.

"We could've just talked this out, you know? W—we could've set up clearer boundaries and uh—" You were growing more and more frustrated, words getting mashed together with how emotional you were being.

"Will you let me—"

Again, you didn't let him speak, wanting to get it all out, knowing that this might've been the last time you spoke to him. Ever.

Your lip wobbled at the thought. "I—I just... 'm sorry, I broke the rules, okay? I—I swear it won't happen again, I don't want our friendship to be—"

"I can't be friends with you anymore!" He breathed, tone loud enough to startle you, the weight of his words taking a while to sink in.

You gulped, physically, mind too hazy to register what he said, that horrible feeling caging your chest, eating up the words that are unable to leave your lips. "Oh... uh—uhm, o—okay." You nervously nip at your nails, not knowing what to do.

"I can't do this anymore, either." He adds, pointing toward the space between the two of you, and you're unable to meet his gaze, too scared. The tears begging to be let out.

"Why—" You take a deep breath before you continue, prying your gaze from his stupid wooden floors, and back into those swirly caramel hues, now big enough to hypnotize you. Softening you in seconds. "Why not?"

"Fuck..." He mumbles, this time he's the nervous one, cheeks flushed with the prettiest pink all over. Fingertips trace against your features, settling on your cheekbones, and you let him. "Because I'm starting to get greedy, sweetheart."

Hope gnaws at your insides, the way something flashes in his gaze has you healing all over, the hold both of you have over each other is strong enough to gravitate you, yet both of you are too dumb to see it, notice it.

Until now.

"I can't just have that and be okay with it... I want—fuck that, I need more," He grumbles, desperate, a silent plea. Your mouth grows dry, lashes fluttering heavily to process it, the world stops spinning on its axis at the implication of his words.

"I need you." You can't help the way your gaze turns mellow, melting into his touch, everything you craved, and more, right in front of you.

A little taste of heaven.

Rolling your eyes playfully, plushy lips stretching into the prettiest smile, followed by a giggle—a heavenly sound he decides he can't fucking live without. "You absolute idiot," you breathe with a shake of your head.

"You didn't think to tell me that? Were you just gonna pull away? Bury your feelings away?"

He mocks a thinking face, "I'd write a few songs about it too, probably." Grin growing wider the more he looks at you, barely registering what the fuck is going on. That you even showed up at his door. That you're even entertaining the idea of being with him.

He's at the palm of your hand, and you don't even know it.

"Idiot."

Pushing a palm over his chest dramatically, he tilts his head in a manner that has you wanting to squeeze his cheeks. "An idiot you like back?"

"Unfortunately." His lips downturn, an exaggerated pout that has your smile stretching.

"An idiot I like too much that it's embarrassing," you add with a scrunch of your nose, a gesture Eddie wants to worship, want to leave open-mouthed kisses all over your face.

"I'll take embarrassing," he whispers, licking his lips before leaning in. You stare at his parted lips a millisecond longer, before pulling him by his stupid Hellfire shirt, pressing your lips hotly against his. 

Eddie only freezes for a second before his instincts take over, a groan rumbling in the back of his throat, deepening the kiss, lips parting to taste you, fully, completely. 

Only breaking the kiss once you consumed him, lazy smirk sitting on his lips, “Told ya we couldn’t be friends anymore,” he teases, that pretty dimple sitting on his cheeks. “Shut up,” you reply with a giggle, interrupting him before he can observe your features and try to drown you in compliments, fisting his shirt once again and pressing your plushy lips against his.

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Its probably a combination of things. Also I think we just hear about it more often now with the internet.

It feels like having a dog has gotten way complicated and hard in recent years, posts talking about reactive unsocialized and untrained dogs everywhere but the thing is, was anybody intentionally socializing their dogs before the past couple decades? Are humans just way more isolated? Is it the thing about how you should adopt a rescue instead of buying?

[piratefern]

Regarding your most recent post, Has Dyo ever been broken or shattered?

OOOOOOOO the answer is a definite yes :3 And its one of the main reasons Hasel leaves

Near around WW1 Hasel started breaking down again because of the vine resurfacing (due to all the bloodshed), making him more absorbed in his head and distant, and in this way he feels he could never be a good enough partner for Dyo

Then due to this distance he ended up in the grey dimension again, his physical form attacked Dyo when he tried to help Hasel and accidentally ended up chipping his mask. This put the nail in the coffin for Hasel, despite not being his fault, and he decided Dyo would be better off without him (instead of tackling his issues head on and learning to be a better partner) so he left, leaving his briefcase as memorabilia. He’d convinced himself it was for the better, now he can focus on finding the cure for the vine and Dyo will be “safe”

Dyo had creeping suspicion that he might up and leave one day as he got more distant, making him anxious up until Hasel’s departure. Of course he didn’t think it would actually happen, but this explains why he didn’t think he’d just walked off for firewood or something, he had a dreaded feeling he’d left, and he did.

This leading to Hasel (up until present day when he’s captured by the facility a century later) to resume his search for a cure. He starts remembering something from a dream in his past, of a far away land he’d visited as a child, where he’d met a masked child of similar age. He brushed this off until it kept coming back, and you know Hasel he’s really irrational so he decided this place must be real (and he was right, somehow!)

So he starts researching about places that sounded similar in odd libraries and archives, eventually finding a place called “Alagadda”. An old explorer who fell into a pocket on earth winded up there. Hasel realised the same must have happened to him in his youth. The explorer ended up documenting the place, finding a way to build a portal between the realms, however he never fully completed this research and it is unknown what happened to him.

Hasel ends up finishing the portal, believing the answer to the cure lies on the other side

He goes through and eventually meets the Black Lord, (not knowing it was Dyo). He can’t quite place why he looks familiar. As time doesn’t work linearly in Alagadda and doesn’t parallel with earth time, he is meeting Dyo before he became Dyo when he was still Anguish/The Black Lord. Anguish believes he is sick and begs the Doctor for a cure, turning out that The Black Lord being under the control of The Hanged King was the “sickness”, sparking the event for Anguish to eventually escape through the portal just after Hasel. Hasel (by some mirical) ends up exactly at the time where he left, as if hed never been gone at all, after which he is immediately found by Facility researchers from S.C.P who had been tracking strange fluctuations in unknown energy (Dyo has been caught at the same time and they end up in the same van, im debating changing how this happens so we’ll see :3)

Dyo on the other hand emerged 2000 years in the past before the portal was ever created, this creates a paradox and as a result he loses his memory, causing him to forge a new identity to cope (of which he eventually believes is completely true)

However, since the portal is built in the future, Dyo eventually starts picking up memories he’d lost, and remembers who he was

Thats the gist of the story :3 some things ive altered slightly from my last explanation and ill probably keep doing this if I find plotholes, this is basically my first ever attempt at a fully fleshed out story so its definitely not going to be perfect 😭 but im glad you guys are liking it so far :3

I might change what the purpose of the vine is, perhaps what the vine actually does is warn Hasel when death is imminent, but he thinks that when someone has the vine they are infected, so he ends up killing them to stop the spread, however they were only ever going to die because he was going to kill them because he thought they were infected. This sorta makes sense since he was guilty that he couldn’t prevent his family from dying, so now he has the means to prevent others from dying. It also clears up why the vine is still around after he learns to accept his family’s deaths and that they weren’t his fault. So he’s convinced that the vine is his punishment and he thinks that it means he needs to find a “cure” for some disease, when really he was the “cure” all along, and was supposed to be helping people and healing people or comforting them if death is imminent, like how he did in his former life. This ties into his healing and death-touch powers and it makes more sense why he has these. He can kill at a touch of his hand, but thats to help people who have no chance at survival reach peace and not to be a midas’ touch sort of situation. He also never hears directly what his daughter wished for, just what his wife told him before she died, so his daughter easily could have wished for him to be alive again so he can help people :( And since the brothers death would have answered this wish, it makes sense why he was brought back in the way he was, being a crow (the omen of death) with healing and death-touch abilities.

so the whole time he was misinterpreting what the vine was, perhaps the manifestation of the vine and his wife wasn’t ever anything to do with the vine at all, he just assumed it was, when the vine manifestation was actually just mad intrusive thoughts due to guilt, this also makes sense why the vine manifestation turned into Dyo after he left him since its directly linked to his guilt and not the vine itself

Some silly side notes are that Dyo’s original body is like SUPER tall and he gets it back when he returns there, also when Dyo and Hasel are apart after WW1 they start taking on traits of the other, Dyo obviously has his poncho making him hooded, but be also gets more grumpy and bitter (not enough to change his whole personality though), Hasel on the other hand stops tiding his feather so they get really unkempt, eventually making his fur resemble Dyo’s hair (at the end of the series they both have it tied back :3). When Hasel winded up in Alagadda as a child he adorned a bird mask, but upon returning he doesn’t have one. We never see what Hasel looks like as a human either, this is because I have an unbridled hatred for when monster characters or characters with masks/full face helmets take them off or transform back into a human, its like its not the same character anymore even though it is, like what was the point of the character being a monster to show character development or learn a lesson if theyre just gonna be human at the end of the story, it annoys me every time LMAO (obviously exceptions being human au’s of characters, i specifically mean like when its part of a narrative in cannon material) Even if I do a post where I make concepts if they were human, Hasel specifically is keeping the Black square (not dyo though since he never was human in the first place :3)

which makes me think, what would a personality swap AU look like for these two? Theres so much to be explored, like Hasel taking up partying and drinking to deal with the death of his family of which he blames himself, and Dyo becoming closed off and reserved because he never made up a past as a coping mechanism, he just has no idea who he is which makes it hard to form any sort of romantic bond, like would any of you like a full concept of that? Im curious

[chuuya-kisser]

THEORY TIME THEORY TIME

ok. so. first of all FYODOR FCKIN DOSTOEVSKY I LIKE U AND ALL BUT???? REMAIN DEAD??? U JESUS FR??

ANYWAYS ignoring that

so bc i adore skk to hell and back obviously im gonna explore their dynamic first

what kills me is how familiar they are with each other. they arent insulting each other in every sentence, which is still alright. and what struck me the most is how much dazai seems to trust chuuya. more so than anyone.

so far we know that dazai isn't exactly the most open person around. his entire cheerful joking persona is a facade, a fake. what you see is usually only what he wants to show you. his real emotions? ive only seen them very rarely, if at all. now look at these

the way chuuya says what he does implies that he is already used to this habit of dazai's, which is only possible if dazai did this in his mafia days, AND even then, he was open and willing enough to let chuuya see it and know that dazai was anxious. which means that even before mersault, before dazai left the mafia, he and chuuya atleast were that close that the usually closed-off, know-everything demon prodigy could show his worry to his partner, multiple times.

i think that over here, dazai really isnt hiding his emotions. you can see the shock and worry on his face and in his eyes clearly as he puts the pieces together. not only that, hes also laying out parts of his plan to chuuya, in addition to his theories. which he rarely does unless im wrong about that (its possible). he isnt worried about chuuya using his emotions and weaknesses against him, because he trusts him enough, although i think the trust between them was already shown when both of them fake-killed each other.

its easy to see the panic in his eyes, and personally i feel that this is him showing a bit of weakness, which is perfectly alright. the thing is that again, hes letting chuuya see this. I very much doubt that he would have let down his facade enough to show this to absolutely anyone else.

also the poor guy literally looks so stressed out here give him a goddamn break asagiri

aaaaand now chuuya.

now what strikes me is that even in the last chapter/s, chuuya has multiple times tried to reassure dazai that fyodor is indeed dead to try and calm down dazai's worries. this can also be him also wanting a damn break but anyways.

and these panels. while many ppl are agreeing that hes just sitting there being a pretty boy while dazai tows through helicopter debris (and i agree), and definitely chuuyas sadistic streak when it comes to dazai is showing itself clearly, its often been seen in both the official arts and animanga that whenever working together, chuuya always covers dazai's blind spots.

think about it. dazai has his back turned towards everything. if someone launched a surprise attack on him at this moment, the chances of him dodging, finding out abt it in time is pretty low. chuuya is directly behind dazai. i got this idea from another post i saw, but what if this is also chuuya covering for dazai yet again? protecting him?

anyways thats it folks maybe ill make another post on jesus- i meant fyodor soon