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The Importance of Emergency funds and how to Build one?
What is it?
An emergency fund stands as an essential element within a robust financial strategy, acting as a vital safeguard against unforeseen circumstances. This specialized reserve of funds is meticulously allocated to address unexpected financial needs or emergencies that may emerge abruptly, such as significant vehicle repairs, roof leaks, medical emergencies, or even the sudden loss of employment. In contrast to the everyday spending accounts or savings accounts designated for routine expenses, an emergency fund remains untouched and reserved solely for the resolution of genuine crises that interrupt your customary cash flow. The availability of this financial resource can significantly influence your ability to navigate through a financial downturn without resorting to debt, depleting retirement savings, or engaging in other detrimental financial decisions. The recommended benchmark for establishing an emergency fund is to accumulate enough to sustain three to six months' worth of essential living expenses, although the precise amount may vary depending on your personal circumstances and risk tolerance. Although the process of building this critical financial safety net may require patience and discipline, the peace of mind and financial security it affords are immeasurable when faced with unexpected expenses or hardships. An emergency fund can be likened to an airbag - while its necessity is seldom acknowledged, its presence is profoundly appreciated when it is needed.
Liquidity funds are characterized by
There is no entry or exit loads. Since they are liquid, most of the portfolio’s aren’t loaded with either entry or exit loads’
Offer variable minimum investment
Minimum interest rate risk’s: This category of fund’s comes with lower interest rate risks compared all the the categories, because fund manager’s invest in select portfolio’s, with manager’s investing in fixed income asset’s with minimal security
Why do I require?
Having an emergency fund is a critical component of sound financial planning and personal security. The purpose of an emergency fund is to provide a cushion of readily available cash that can be tapped into in the event of an unexpected expense or financial setback. This could include anything from a medical emergency, a major home or auto repair, job loss, or other unforeseen circumstances that require immediate cash. Without an emergency fund, these types of events can quickly derail your financial stability and lead to taking on debt, dipping into retirement savings, or other measures that can have long-term negative impacts Experts typically recommend having 3-6 months' worth of living expenses set aside in an emergency fund. This ensures you have enough to cover essential bills and necessities should your regular income be disrupted. The money should be kept in a liquid, low-risk account like a savings account so it's available when you need it, rather than invested in the stock market or tied up elsewhere. Building up this reserve takes time and discipline, but it provides invaluable peace of mind knowing you have a safety net to fall back on. Rather than relying on credit cards or loans to handle emergencies, which can be costly, an emergency fund allows you to weather financial storms without derailing your long-term financial goals. Overall, an emergency fund is a cornerstone of responsible money management and financial resilience.
What does safety fund’s offer?
Having an emergency fund is crucial for dealing with unforeseen expenses. It acts as a financial cushion when life presents unexpected challenges. Here are some key elements to consider for your emergency fund:
Basic Living Expenses: This includes covering necessities such as food, housing, utilities, transportation, and medical care. It's generally advised to save at least three to six months' worth of these expenses.
Car Repairs: Unexpected car repairs can be expensive. Having money readily available allows you to address these issues without depending on credit cards.
Home Repairs: From minor leaks to major appliance failures, home repairs can catch you by surprise. An emergency fund can help cover these unexpected costs.
Medical Expenses: Health-related bills can appear suddenly. Having savings set aside can lighten the financial load.
Job Loss: Losing a job can be financially devastating. An emergency fund can provide a safety net until you secure new employment.
Fund’s are always volatile, hence begin with a minimum denomination, in case of managing consumer debts. . Once that's paid off, aim to build a fully funded emergency fund that covers three to six months of living expenses. Having this financial security can offer peace of mind.
How much do I need?
The amount you should aim to have in an emergency savings fund varies based on your circumstances. Consider the most frequent unexpected expenses you've encountered in the past and their associated costs. This reflection can guide you in establishing a savings goal. If you're living from pay check to pay check or receive inconsistent pay each week or month, saving money may seem challenging. However, even a small contribution can offer a degree of financial security.
How to Build an Emergency Fund:
1. Set a Goal: Determine how much you want to save in your emergency fund, typically three to six months' worth of living expenses.
2. Start Small: Begin by setting aside a small amount each month and gradually increase your savings over time.
3. Automate Savings: Set up automatic transfers from your checking account to your emergency fund to make saving easier and more consistent.
4. Cut Expenses: Look for ways to reduce your monthly expenses and redirect those savings into your emergency fund.
Building an emergency fund is a crucial step towards achieving financial security. Here are some steps to help you get started:
1. Set a Savings Goal: Aim to save enough to cover 3-6 months' worth of living expenses. This amount can help you manage unexpected costs like medical bills, car repairs, or job loss.
2. Open a Separate Savings Account: Keep your emergency fund separate from your regular checking account to avoid the temptation of spending it.
3. Start Small and Be Consistent: Begin with a manageable amount, such as saving ₹500 or ₹1000 per month. Gradually increase this amount as you become more comfortable.
4. Automate Your Savings: Set up automatic transfers from your checking account to your emergency fund. This ensures you save regularly without having to think about it.
5. Save Windfalls: Whenever you receive unexpected money, like a bonus or tax refund, add it to your emergency fund.
6. Cut Unnecessary Expenses: Review your monthly expenses and identify areas where you can cut back. Direct these savings to your emergency fund.
7. Replenish When Used: If you need to dip into your emergency fund, make it a priority to replenish it as soon as possible.
Tips for Managing Your Emergency Fund:
1. Keep it Separate: It's important to keep your emergency fund separate from your regular savings account to avoid temptation to dip into it for non-emergencies.
2. Replenish Promptly: If you do use your emergency fund, make it a priority to replenish it as soon as possible to ensure you're prepared for the next unexpected expense.
3. Review Regularly: Regularly review your emergency fund and adjust your savings goal as needed based on changes in your financial situation.
Risk’s and mitigation of emergency funds
1. Inflation Risk: One of the main risks of keeping a large amount of money in a savings account is that it may not keep pace with inflation. Over time, the purchasing power of your emergency fund may erode, leaving you with less money to cover expenses in times of need.
2. Opportunity Cost: By earmarking a portion of your savings for an emergency fund, you may miss out on potential investment opportunities that could generate higher returns. This trade-off between liquidity and potential returns is a key consideration when building your emergency fund.
3. Security Risks: Storing cash at home or in a low-yield savings account exposes you to the risk of theft or loss. Without proper safeguards in place, your emergency fund may not be readily available when you need it most.
How to mitigate?
1. Invest Strategically: Consider investing a portion of your emergency fund in low-risk, liquid investments such as money market funds or short-term bonds. This can help mitigate the risk of inflation and optimize your returns while maintaining liquidity.
2. Diversify Your Savings: Instead of relying solely on a traditional savings account, consider diversifying your emergency fund across different assets such as high-yield savings accounts, certificates of deposit, and even precious metals. This can help reduce your exposure to a single financial institution or asset class.
3. Establish Clear Guidelines: Set clear criteria for when and how to access your emergency fund. Define what constitutes an emergency and establish a plan for replenishing your reserves once they have been tapped. By outlining these guidelines in advance, you can avoid impulsive decisions and ensure the long-term viability of your emergency fund.
How to build? Develop a saving pattern
There are various strategies to kickstart your savings journey, tailored to different scenarios. Whether you're facing a limited ability to save or your income fluctuates, there's a solution for everyone. While it's possible to employ all these strategies, starting with managing your cash flow or setting aside a portion of your tax refund is a straightforward approach for those with limited saving capabilities.
Building savings, no matter how big, becomes easier and more rewarding when you can consistently set aside money. It's one of the quickest ways to witness it grow. If you haven't been maintaining a regular saving practice, here are a few essential principles for creating and adhering to a savings habit.
Set a goal. Having a specific goal for your savings can help you stay motivated. Establishing your emergency fund may be that achievable goal that helps you stay on track, especially when you’re initially getting started. Use our savings planning tool to calculate how long it’ll take you to reach your goal, based on how much and how often you’re able to put money away.
Create a system for consistent contributions. There are numerous ways to save, and as you'll discover below, setting up automatic recurring transfers is often one of the simplest methods. Alternatively, you might choose to set aside a specific amount of money each day, week, or payday. The key is to make it a specific amount, and if possible, to occasionally increase your contributions, you'll see your savings grow even more rapidly. Regularly monitor your progress by finding a method to consistently check your savings. Whether this involves automatic notifications of your account balance or keeping a running total of your contributions in a journal, staying aware of your progress can provide both satisfaction and motivation to continue.
Liquidity of the Emergency Fund:
Upon recognizing the significance of establishing an emergency fund, the subsequent imperative is to guarantee its accessibility. Nevertheless, the formulation of the emergency fund necessitates a meticulous and gradual approach. This process demands extensive contemplation and investigation. It is essential to consider various elements, including income, expenditure, and the interest rates provided. Ideally, the emergency fund ought to equate to a minimum of three to six months' worth of one's salary, accounting for monthly income.
In conclusion, having an emergency fund is an essential part of financial planning. By following the tips for crating, managing a personalized emergency portfolio, the investor can be assured that this fund provides a SafetyNet, in times of unexpected twists and turns. Begin to create a fund as soon as possible to effectively manage finance’s for future.
In conclusion, while such funds play a crucial role in financial planning, it is important to be mindful of the risks and challenges associated. By implementing the right straggles and safeguards, organizations can derive optimum effectiveness of the fund, protecting financial well-being in times of crisis.
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2024 Guide to Liquid Restaking: Everything Beginners Should Know
The advent of liquid restaking is significantly altering the dynamics of the DeFi ecosystem by allowing stakers to reallocate their assets across multiple protocols without the need to un-stake. This innovative approach enhances both liquidity and flexibility, enabling users to maximize their staking rewards by participating in several staking opportunities simultaneously. By diversifying staking activities, liquid restaking mitigates risks associated with exposure to a single protocol and enhances overall security. It also improves liquidity, making it easier for users to trade and transfer their restaked assets, a flexibility not afforded by traditional staking methods.
Liquid restaking's seamless integration with DeFi platforms facilitates the use of staked assets in various financial products, thereby opening up a plethora of innovative use cases, such as collateralized lending and synthetic asset creation. This integration supports the decentralization ethos of blockchain technology by allowing more participants to engage in staking without the constraints of locked assets. As the DeFi sector continues to evolve, liquid restaking is poised to become a foundational component, driving greater innovation and user participation.
EigenLayer exemplifies the benefits of liquid restaking by enabling users to maximize their staking rewards while securing multiple blockchains. This approach not only enhances capital efficiency but also fosters new opportunities within the DeFi space.
For those looking to leverage these advantages, Intellisync provides advanced liquid restaking solutions, ensuring your assets remain accessible and continuously productive. Join the Intellisync revolution today and optimize Learn more....
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Here is Some Information About Insecticides Manufacturer in Oman
Insecticides Manufacturer in Oman are chemical substances or formulations designed to kill, repel, or control insects. They are used in agriculture, public health, forestry, and residential settings to protect crops, animals, and people From the damage and health risks associated with insect pests. Insecticides come in various forms, including liquids, powders, granules, and aerosols, and they can have different modes of action to target specific types of insects.
Visit Us: Insecticides Manufacturer in Oman
ADDRESS:
Office No - 704, 7th Floor, Akashdeep Building, Barakhamba Road, New Delhi - 110001
EMAIL:
PHONE:
+91 98370 22119
#Insecticides Manufacturer in Oman are chemical substances or formulations designed to kill#repel#or control insects. They are used in agriculture#public health#forestry#and residential settings to protect crops#animals#and people From the damage and health risks associated with insect pests. Insecticides come in various forms#including liquids#powders#granules#and aerosols#and they can have different modes of action to target specific types of insects.#Visit Us: Insecticides Manufacturer in Oman#https://www.vsdindustries.com/insecticides-oman.php#ADDRESS:#Office No - 704#7th Floor#Akashdeep Building#Barakhamba Road#New Delhi - 110001#EMAIL:#[email protected]#PHONE:#+91 98370 22119
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Batman the Playboy
Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.
The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, (or hit with some kind of drug while out saving the world) and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.
Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“
Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”
Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”
Green Arrow: (offended noises)
Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”
Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”
However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)
So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”
Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”
Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”
———
Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.
GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”
Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”
Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”
Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”
GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”
Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.
Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”
Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”
Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”
Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”
Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”
Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻♂️
“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”
Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!
The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.
And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.
(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)
Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.
#a few months later GL brings it up#like ‘ha ha remember funny joke’#batman: ‘…joke?’#justice league#😳#yes joke#autistic batman#batman#brucie wayne#justice leauge shennanigans#batman the playboy
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Shallow
Yandere Batfam x Merfolk Reader ♧romantic♣︎
Aquaman, Aqualad, Mera, and any other underwater hero’s and creatures don’t exist in this.
||-→ I tried to make each pov a different style of writing ||
There was something so captivatingly beautiful about observing the humans from below the surface, as they went about their daily lives, traversing the Metro-Narrows Bridge. The elders had always warned you to keep your distance from the world above, but you couldn't resist sneaking glances at the peculiar, moving metal boxes zooming across the streets, or the striking figures donning vibrant spandex who soared through the skies at night.
The bridge, illuminated by the soft glow of the moon, cast an ethereal light across the water of the river. This sight, enhanced by the night, would always catch your attention, especially when they appeared. Moving in and out of the shadows, darting around or simply standing on the railing, lost in their own worlds.
You had grown fond of observing them as they soared through the night sky, reminiscent of the graceful movements of swans. Their elegance was effortless, seemingly defying gravity as they traversed the air. It was in those moments, watching the sky people glide past, that you were struck by the rawness of their beauty.
You never dared to come too close to the surface during the day, the haunting tales from your pod serving as a constant reminder of the horrors that existed above the water. But the night was a different story; it’s when you were more willing to take risks. The darkness provided the perfect cover, shrouding you in obscurity as the humans slept.
Though you supposed that the real reason you continued to venture up to the surface was because it was the time that they emerged, gliding through the air and gracefully traversing the buildings. Their shadows, illuminated by the silvery light of the moon, seemed to dance in perfect harmony with the night. Always seeming to captivate your attention in a way that no underwater creatures could.
However, on this particular night, you noticed something out of the ordinary. One of the usually lively land creatures was sluggish and listless, moving with none of the fluid grace that you had come to admire. A deep crimson liquid seeped through the fabric of his suit, spattering across the spandex and staining it a dark, ominous hue.
You cautiously approached the surface, swimming closer than you had ever dared to before. Slowly, you emerged, peering just above the water's edge.
You couldn’t see the human clearly, obscured as he was by the sizable drop between the bridge and the water below, but the scent he carried was undeniable. There was something utterly alluring about his aroma. It was a stark contrast to the familiar scents of salt and oil you were used to underwater. You haven't come across anything even remotely similar to it before.
The land dweller was undeniably beautiful.
A loud crash shattered the silence, jolting your attention back to reality. Your gills flared out in alarm, and in your surprise, the soft bioluminescent glow of your tail dimmed down, a natural response to the potential threat.
You backed away, submerging yourself down into the safety that the depths of the water provided. Your gaze fixating on the figure in the distance, decorated in his familiarly vibrant red and yellow attire. This one hastily making his way to the blue-clad human's side, concern decorated across his face, his actions imbued with urgency. Mask torn from his face.
With a heavy sigh, you turned your back from the scene unfolding above, releasing a flurry of bubbles that rose to the surface. Your pods stern warnings echoing in your mind, a constant reminder of the dangers that lay in the world above.
You make it no more than fifteen feet before a thunderous splash shatters the silence, the seawaters ripples rolling across your skin and triggering an involuntary shiver, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your tail instinctively sprung into action, propelling you back with a rapid, powerful flick.
With a sudden movement, your arms encircled the man's sinking frame, securing a firm grip on his sides. Your eyes widening in shock at the contact, your webbed fingers digging into his flesh, anchoring him in place.
For a moment, you paused, studying him. Your eyes absorbing every little detail. From the man's soft, almost spongy flesh under your touch, how soft and almost squishy his land dwelling arms were, how they seemed to just give way to the touch of your webbed fingers. Then to the way the baby blue suit of his that clung to him, was torn and tattered, ripping away underwater. Your gaze lingering on the deep red liquid seeping out of his torso, staining his skin and leaving a trail of ominous scarlet. And then, your gaze travelled to the two bizarre, elongated limbs extending from his waist. A stark contrast to the streamlined grace of your own tail.
His lips parted, releasing a stream of bubbles, each one ascending to the surface before vanishing from sight. You watched as his body suddenly went limp in your arms, reminding you of the dire situation you had inadvertently involved yourself in. With a powerful flick of your tail, you swiftly propelled yourself to the surface, bringing him up so that he could breathe. Your gills flared out, working overtime to filter oxygen from the water while you waited, your hearts hammering in your chest.
When the human made no attempt to improve, limp and unresponsive, you couldn't suppress the deep hiss that escaped from the back of your throat. Your grip tightening around his frame, your tail coiled tighter around his legs, an attempt to stabilise and bring some form of response from him. Your eyes grew large in desperation as you shook him back and forth, each movement growing more frantic with the passing seconds.
You directed your attention to the deep red liquid that was oozing out of his abdomen, its thick, almost oily consistency spreading out in little waves around you in the water. Coming out in shallow pulses. You tilted your head slightly, noting that the fluid's flow didn't seem natural. It felt wrong, a gut feeling of sorts. You hastily reached for the pouch tethered to your hip, pulling out a woven bundle of seaweed and a salve prepared by the elders of your pod.
You delicately began to layer the salve over the gaping wound, taking care to press the woven seaweed into the lesion. The salve, a rich green and purple, had a cooling effect as it made contact with the human's skin. A crucial aspect due to its high iodine content, which helps to close the large gash. As the ointment came into contact with the blood, it began to congeal and bind the tissue together, halting the bleeding.
However, you were acutely aware of the human, who remained unresponsive. His chest, which should've been rising and falling with each inhale, lay still. A sudden panic clutched at your hearts, threatening to overwhelm you. You weren't sure what the proper human anatomy was, but it was abundantly clear that he needed to breathe.
You placed a webbed hand on his chest, the flesh there surprisingly firm. You pushed down, then up again, attempting to mimic the breathing motions you had seen him and others do. Your heart pounded in your chest as you pleaded for him to respond, a silent mantra running through your head. With urgency, you placed a firm grip on the back of his neck, tilting his head back, the gills on your neck flaring out to pull in as much oxygen as they could. Your tail coiling tightly around his waist to keep him afloat.
Despite the pressure you exerted, there was no response from him. His chest remained still, no signs of life. Your breath hitched at the sight, a sense of desperate desperation washing over you. You were frantically trying to keep his head tilted back while the water was washing over his face, the cool liquid creating small ripples that mirrored the urgency of the moment. His body remained motionless, unresponsive to your frantic attempts. You could feel the pressure building in your own chest, your gills working overtime to extract oxygen.
In a final, desperate attempt, you lean in closer, positioning yourself to allow your webbed fingers to forcibly pry open his parted lips. You took in a deep breath and expelled it through the opening, pushing every ounce of air you could manage into his unresponsive lungs.
You repeated the action multiple times, exerting every ounce of effort to force air into his trachea. Each breath, heavy and laboured. You finally pulled back, allowing yourself a moment of respite. Your breaths came out ragged and sharp, a stark contrast to the steady, undisturbed water around you.
As he remains unresponsive, his body frighteningly limp, your body goes slack, a wave of disappointment washing over you. Reluctantly, you release your grip on him and let him go, his body now floating eerily close to yours. You close your eyes tight, trying to swallow the lump in your throat that was rapidly forming.
You flinch at the sudden and unexpected contact, your eyes fluttering open. An alarmed hiss escaped once again through your lips, more out of surprise than anything else. Just as you were about to submerge yourself underwater, a firm hand grasped your shoulder, its grip strong and unwavering.
"Y-you're...alive.", you stuttered out, a mixture of disbelief and awe laced in your raspy voice. The hand on your shoulder felt firm and real, a stark contrast to the nightmarish scenario you had just been a part of.
“Nightwing?” Red Robin's voice cuts through the quiet night, bouncing off the empty alleyways. Frustrated, he takes off his comms, readjusting them to try again for the sixth time in the last ten minutes.
"Dick, come in," he practically growls out, tapping on his device with a little more force than necessary.
“Where the hell are you?” he mutters, staring up at the tall buildings. Dick’s always late, but this was getting ridiculous. With a sigh, he leans back against the wall, crossing his arms as he waits.
A low, familiar voice crackles on the other end of the comms. “Stalker.”
Tim rolls his eyes, recognising the voice immediately. It was too late in the night to put up with him. “Jason.” he sighs, “What do you want. Have you heard from Dick?”
“Not a word.” The response is curt, and the annoyance in Jason’s voice is obvious. He rarely joined in their patrols, preferring to stick to his own methods of dealing with things.
Tim lets out a frustrated huff, tapping his fingers impatiently against his arm. Of course Dick would pick now to go radio silent.
He ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment to let out a frustrated groan. He was stressed enough as it is, none of this was helping.
“You’re patrolling the Narrows?” Jason’s voice breaks through Tim’s thoughts, pulling him back to reality. He looks around, taking in the surroundings with a frown. The Narrows was never a good place to be alone.
“Yeah.” he responds, not taking his eyes off of the shadows. “I’m sure you’ll be happy to know, Dick’s nowhere to be seen. In or out of uniform.”
There’s a pause on the other end, and Tim can practically hear the smirk in Jason’s voice.
“Need backup?” he offers, amusement clear in his tone. The elder boy mocking him.
Tim scowls, shaking his head even if he knew Jason couldn’t see him. “No.” he replies curtly. “I’m not a child, I can handle this myself.”
“Sure, kid.” Jason’s response is just as dismissive. “I’ll come check on you in a bit anyway. Make sure you haven’t gotten your ass kicked.”
Tim’s scowl deepens at Jason’s reply, not appreciating the offer of help — or the nickname. “I don’t need a babysitter.” he grumbles. “I’m going to find Dick, and I don’t need your help.”
There’s a pause, and Tim can practically hear the eye roll from Jason. “Whatever you say, Replacement. I’ll be there soon.”
“No—” Before Tim can protest, the comms go silent. Damn it, Jason.
He lets out a frustrated sigh, biting at the inside of his cheek. The last person he needed to see right now was Jason. The last time he’d come face to face with the man, things didn’t go so well.
Tim grits his teeth and pushes himself off of the wall. He had better things to do than get into a fight with his older brother. Like finding his other older brother.
With a huff, Tim starts walking, making his way through the narrow alleys of the Narrows. It’s quiet, eerily so, and his instincts are on high alert.
Everything feels off. The air is still, and he can’t shake the feeling of being watched. His breath stutters in his chest, but he pushes the feeling down. He had work to do.
“Dick?” he calls out, his headset’s blinking green light signalling the message going through. He glances around cautiously as he moves. “Nightwing, come in. Can you hear me?”
There’s no response, and Tim tries again. Nothing but static. His shoulders tense, the unease growing in the pit of his stomach. This wasn’t like Dick. The man was always on top of communication.
Tim continues forward, his footsteps quick and light. He keeps his eyes scanning the shadows around him, but the silence is deafening. Where the hell is he?
A muffled crunch breaks the silence, and the boy freezes, his breath hitching. It was faint, coming from somewhere off the alley in front of him. His heart rate quickens, and he carefully shifts on his feet, trying to pinpoint the source.
There was something across the street. Someone.
Tim squints, his eyes trying to make out what it was. It was too dark to tell. Damn it, why can’t Dick be here to deal with this..
He’s too used to working in a team, having the security of someone else there to watch his back. The someone’s in question usually being Batman or Nightwing.
He steels himself, slipping into a fighting stance and taking slow steps forward. He can’t let his guard down, not now.
As he moves, the shape across the street shifts. It’s still far away, but from the size and height, he could tell it was definitely a figure.
His comms device beeps, startling the boy and nearly causing him to stumble. He quickly scrabbles to check it, hoping for some sort of answer or communication.
“Red.” Jason’s voice comes through, static breaking up some of the message. The device was clearly reaching a limit. “Can you hear me? Dick’s in trouble.” The voice, as crackling as it was over the broken comms, sounded dishevelled and panted. Jason rarely called for help.
With a final glance at the figure across the street, Tim’s eyes flicker back down to the comms in his hand. Jason found him.
“Where are you?” he asks, not wasting a second as he sets off at a sprint. He didn’t care what kind of trouble Nightwing had gotten into, he just needed to get there.
“Don’t worry about me. Get to Metro-Narrows Bridge.”
The urgency in Jason’s voice has Tim’s heartbeat racing. He doesn’t question it, just continues sprinting. He knew the bridge, and knew it was far.
“...” he grits his teeth. “I’m on my way.”
Tim hits the wall with a pained gasp, eyes squeezed shut as he doubles over coughing at the impact. His vision swims. Shit.
He lets out a sharp gasp, the breath knocked out of him as he’s smashed against the hard bricks. The pain doesn’t have time to register, as his mind is sent into a panicked frenzy.
He sucks in a low breath, trying to clear his head and figure out what the hell just happened. There’s a shuffle of feet, and the distinct sound of metal being unsheathed.
The attack was too precise, too sudden. He grunts, trying to push himself back away from the wall, but a large hand keeps him pinned.
His head finally stops swirling, and he can focus on the large figure in front of him. Not good.
He’s a towering wall of a man, arms bigger than Tim’s head. He’s muscular, clearly built like a brawler. The metal that had unsheathed was a knife, the sharp, gleaming blade being held firmly in the man’s large hand.
“No more running.” the man growls, his other hand still keeping Tim pinned against the wall.
Tim glared up at him.
He’s been in situations similar to this before. He’s fought and won against opponents bigger than him, more experienced than him. He needed to stay calm, and assess the situation.
With a pained grunt, he pushes against the man’s arm, struggling to break free. The man just leans closer, his breath hot in Tim’s face.
The smell of smoke and old alcohol fills Tim’s nose, making him want to retch as the man sneers at him. “Struggle all you want, kid.” he drawls. “You’re coming with me one way or another..” Tim clenches his jaw.
He analyses the situation quickly. His equipment was in his belt, but pinned tight against the wall left him with very little mobility. He had to find a way to get away swiftly, before the man could do him any serious harm.
Tim’s mind races, trying to work out a way to get himself out of this. He’s too close quarters to the man, and any attempt to get away would lead to him getting a knife in his gut.
The man’s grip tightens, making him gasp as the knife is held closer to his skin. His eyes darted around, searching for anything useful. He would have to time this right. “Stop squirmin.’” The man’s gruff voice rang out.
Tim ignores him, grunting as he struggles against the hand pinning him. There had to be something he could use to—
A gleam of something metal catches his eye, and he glances down, spotting a metal pipe sticking out of an open garbage bin. It wasn’t much, but it might be enough.
Tim takes in a shallow breath, his mind racing for a second. “Why are you doing this?” he asks, trying to keep the man talking and distracted.
“Don’t try any shit, sidekick.” He tightened his hold on the boy, using his other hand to get out a walkie-talkie from the pouch on his chest.
Sidekick? Tim’s teeth gritted, a spark of anger flaring up in the back of his mind. He wasn’t just a sidekick.
Tim’s eyes glance down again at the pipe, trying to calculate his next move. He watched as the man brought the walkie-talkie up to his mouth, his heart rate increasing as he prepared to act.
“I got a bird out here,” the man grunted into the device, keeping his eyes fixed on Tim. “Found him in the-“
He barely had time to react before Tim acted. With a sudden burst of strength, he jerks forward, wrenching himself free from the man’s grip. He immediately drops down, grabbing the metal pipe and brandishing it like a weapon. Flinging it into the man’s hand that held the radio. The impact caused him to drop it, as he let out a cry of pain, stumbling back.
Tim didn’t hesitate. He quickly used the momentary opening of shock and pain to his advantage, striking the man hard in the stomach with the pipe. The man grunted, his hand instinctively going to where he’d been hit.
He wasn’t about to give the thug any time to recover. He brought up a leg and kicked out fast, nailing him hard in the knee. The man yelled out again, staggering back.
He raged, stumbling forward and landing one hard punch against Tim’s face.
The younger boy’s head snapped to the side from the hit, the force of it knocking his mask askew, cracking and splitting as he reeled back. His vision swims from the impact, but he can taste the distinct taste of blood in his mouth.
He stumbled back, bringing a hand up to his face and cursing, blood seeping down his face.
His head hurt. A lot. That one hit had left him dizzy, and his cheek stung like hell.
The pain is enough to clear his mind though, and he refocuses on the man in front of him. His lip is split, and his cheek feels like it’s on fire. His mask hangs half off of his face.
Tim grits his teeth, glaring at the man with a new found fire in his eyes. He wasn’t going to let some random thug take him out.
The perpetrator lets out a huff, spitting out a glob of blood onto the floor next to him. An ugly sneer plastered his face, and he stepped forward, reaching down for the knife that had been discarded on the ground. “You little shit.” he spat. “I’ll make you pay for that.”
His eyes flickered down to the knife held flimsily in his hand. He needed to get out of this. The man was bigger and definitely stronger, but obviously nowhere near as experienced as Tim was. He’s surprised that the thug had even managed to get in a decent hit to his face.
His mind is too preoccupied, caught up in the whirlwind of thoughts, and he fails to notice the man’s approach until the moment he's already upon him. The thug's fury makes him careless and ill-prepared, the sound of his stumbling footsteps betraying his presence due to the injury on his knee.
Tim quickly raises his arm instinctively, attempting to shield himself as the man’s towering frame comes charging at him. He’s tackled to the ground in a single swift move, the impact crushing his ribs against the concrete floor.
His back hits the ground, the air getting knocked out of him for the second time that night. The man’s weight pinned him to the ground, the air leaving his lungs in a loud gasp as he struggled.
The man had the knife clutched in his hand, the gleam of the blade reflecting the lights of the city as it was raised up, aimed to strike.
Drake nearly sneered at the sight. He’s an amateur. Over confident in himself and relying solely on force.
Tim’s eyes darkened, his glare locked on the man above him. He was not going to be defeated by some two-bit mugger.
He kicked out at the man, aiming for his still injured knee. The man grunted as he took the kick, shifting off balance for just a second.
It was enough of an opening for Tim to react. He pushed up on the man, using the momentum to roll them both over, switching their positions and taking the top. He wasted no time in smashing the man’s head against the ground, knocking him out stone cold. Blood pooling down against the pavement.
He paused, breathing heavily as he stared down at the man. His lip stung as blood still trickled down his face, the adrenaline in his system beginning to wear off.
Tim sat there for a moment, letting out a hiss of pain as he lifted a hand and gently touched his split lip. He gingerly moved his fingers through his hair, grimacing as he felt the beginnings of a bruise on the side of his face.
Dick was still in trouble. That was the thought at the front of his mind, the reason he was out here and why he had to get to that bridge.
With a wince, Tim pushed himself up, staggering for a moment as a wave of nausea passed over him. He was pretty sure he’d developed a minor concussion from being thrown into the wall.
Everything ached, and his body was screaming at him to just stay down. He ignored it. Nightwing was his priority.
He swayed for a moment, his vision going white around the edges as his head spun, before he managed to stay standing and start moving again.
He didn’t think, he just ran.
He’s still panting as his feet hit the concrete, his body protesting the movement. The nausea from his concussion was becoming very real, and he had to stop to take a deep breath to steady himself.
Fuck, he was going to throw up, wasn’t he?
Tim bit his tongue and started running again, forcing himself to push on and ignore the pain. He had to keep moving.
The cold, night air hurt his lungs, but he didn’t stop. Not even as the pain from the beating began to make itself known with each hard footstep against the concrete. He had to get to the bridge.
He kept going at a brutal pace, ignoring how his vision swam and how every breath he took just made him feel like he needed to puke.
He’s not sure how long he had ran, his mind focused entirely on just moving. One foot in front of the other, he just kept going.
As he rounded the corner, he noticed the bridge in the distance. His eyes widening, watching Dick stagger back against the railings edge.
Tim stumbled for a moment, but pushed himself back up, keeping himself moving forward. He could barely see straight, but nothing else mattered. Nightwing’s tall and dark silhouette was leant against the night light of the bridge. Even from a distance, he could see the blood on Dicks skin, staining the side of his face, his suit’s front ripped open, a large gash in his abdomen pooling out onto the ground.
Tim’s speed quickens, every muscle in his body crying in protest but he continues on. All he could focus on was the sight of Nightwing. In the low light, he could see Dick’s shoulders moving with each heavy breath, looking seconds away from collapsing.
In a desperate attempt to save his mentor, Tim lunges forward and grabs onto Dick's arm. However, the fabric of the torn and damaged suit simply tears further under the force, causing Dick to slip free from Tim's grasp and fall into the dark, ominous water below.
"NO—!" The cry escapes Tim's mouth in a choked rush, the sound filled with anguish and fear. With a desperate burst of energy, he lunges forward, his hand reaching out in a desperate attempt to cling to Dick's suit, to anything that would keep him from falling.
But it was too late. He was too late.
His heart hammers frantically against his chest as he gazes down into the dark depths below, his eyes wide and searching desperately for even a glimpse of Dick in the river's deep murky water.
His breath hitches, a silent sob wracking his frame as he slumps over the edge of the bridge, his hands shaking as he brings them up to his face. His blood-slick fingers thread through his hair, his eyes wide as they stay fixed on the dark water where Dick had fallen.
The sound of a vehicle approaching in the distance catches his ears, but he doesn't acknowledge it. He doesn't turn to see who it is or check to see if it's a threat. He just keeps staring down into the water, the sound of the river below the only thing he can hear over his panicked breathing.
Jason came to a crashing halt at the side of the bridge, the panicked urgency in his voice clear. He stumbled off his bike, nearly falling as he yelled out.
"Where is he--” His hollow eyes darted around at their surroundings. "WHERE IS HE?!"
Dick.
Tim's eyes widened as Nightwing's head broke the surface of the water, his body floating limp against the current. He's alive.
His shoulders tense as he quickly scrambles to his feet, his body protesting in pain with each movement.
The relief he feels is quickly drowned out, however, as he notices the large bioluminescent tail wrapped around his older brother's lower half, keeping him from crashing with the harsh currents.
Jason quickly approached the bridges railing, his heavy boots thudding loudly against the concrete, his heart racing thunderously against his chest, deep sapphire eyes following Tim's wide gaze down into the water. As he saw the sight in front of him, his eyes widened in disbelief.
He gripped the rough stone ledge, leaning over to get a better look at his brother. "What the fuck is that?" The older boys voice cuts through the ringing in Drake's ears.
Tim couldn't respond, his eyes glued on the large tail, his jaw slack. He took in the sight of the long powerful appendage wrapped around his brother's waist. It was beautiful. The long black scales seemed to glow a soft purple even in the dim moon’s light, as if the creature attached was glowing itself. The bioluminescence was something that one could only describe as ethereal.
Tim's heart raced as he took a step closer to the edge of the bridge, his eyes darting around, trying to catch a glimpse of the creature. He couldn't believe his eyes. Neither of them could.
Tim's mind reeled, trying to comprehend what they were seeing. His heart was pounding, his breath coming in short gasps as he tried to process the situation. He knew that he should be scared. His mouth was dry, his tongue felt heavy and thick as he finally managed to speak, his voice low and shaky. "I..I don't know." He croaked.
A ragged breath escaped his lips as the sea creature met his gaze.
He was frozen as he locked eyes with the creature. His mouth went dry, everything around him seemed to disappear into the background. The only thing he could focus on was the deep piercing eyes peering up from the darkness of the river.
Everything about the creature was attractive – its long shimmering scales, bioluminescent glow, and even the large dorsal fin along its spine.
The flutter of the creature's gills when its eyes met theirs didn’t go unnoticed by the brothers. Jason's lips parted into as much of a smirk as it could given the situation.
The Mer's features slowly disappeared under the surface, as it made a sudden exit. Both of the boys' eyes flicked towards the water, but the sudden gasping from their elder brother drew their attention away once more.
Dick was struggling, coughing up water as he attempted to pull himself up and out of the water. His large hand was grasping desperately to the creature's shoulder, as he pulled himself up.
Tim's heart leapt into his throat as he watched Dick gasping for air, his body shivering as he struggled to grapple himself out of the water. He was so focused on his older brother's struggles that he almost missed the flicker of glowing purple as the creature’s tail disappeared beneath the surface of the water.
Tim moved forward to help Dick, but a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned to see Jason with a grimace on his face.
"What are we going to do?" Tim asked, his voice filled with worry.
Their conversation was cut short, however, as Dick's coughing subsided, replaced by a strangled gasp for air, his eyes wide and frantic.
"I'm fine," he rasped, his hands trembling as he tried to pull himself up onto the bridge, his body shaking violently. His sharp ocean eyes focused on the crushed seaweed-looking salve used to treat his wounds.
Tim was about to respond when they heard a shuffling from the water, the faint sound of something scratching against the concrete. Tim's gaze snapped down to the water, his heart starting to pound against his chest.
Jason had already stepped back and drawn his weapon, his eyes fixed on a spot in the water a few feet below them. The sound of sloshing water echoed around them again, the dim light from the moon making it difficult to see anything except the faint bioluminescence.
And then, you were gone.
This is the result of the poll -> link.
Don’t judge my random fighting scene with Tim I was trying something out🦖🦖
All likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated and encouraged!
I rewrote everything, so I apologise that this took so long to come out💚
#x reader#merfolk reader#merfolk#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere dc#yandere batboys#gn reader#merman#mermaid#requested#batfamily#dark batfamily#dark batfam#batfam#batboys#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batboys x reader#batboys x reader#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere nightwing#yandere red hood#yandere robin#jaythes1mp
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the bad room ~ homelander;the boys
word count: 2654
request?: no
description: in which a ghost from his past returns when he needs her the most
pairing: homelander x female!reader
warnings: swearing, use of y/n, lil bit of angsty angst, mentions of death and violence, mentions of threatened suicide, mentions of what homelander and reader went through in "the bad room", the boys typical stuff, spoilers for 4x04, reader was also raised in "the bad room" but is not homelander's sister we'll say she created using another supe's dna
masterlist (one, two, three)
"John?"
The name that just moments ago made him so angry he saw the brightest of reds, brought him to a halt. It wasn't the name, but rather the voice. When he turned and saw her there, he was almost certain it was a hallucination.
"(Y/N)?"
He hadn't seen her in years. Since she somehow escaped The Bad Room before he was set free of it. Before he became Homelander. But it felt like she hadn't changed at all. Not her eyes, watching him with care and concern. Not her face, just as beautiful as he remembered. Not the fuzzy feeling in his stomach just being in her presence.
He was tempted to take her in his arms and never let her go, but then he remembered the blood soaked super suit and the thick liquid still dripping from his face and hair; the blood of the people who tortured them both.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
A wry smile twisted on Homelander's face. "Visiting home."
Her eyes flickered to the building behind them. "Did you leave anyone alive?"
"Barbara."
(Y/N)'s face darkened. "Should've killed her first, very slowly and painfully."
Homelander chuckled, humorlessly. "That's quite the thing to say about your mother."
"That woman was never a mother to me."
"She raised you."
"If that's all it takes, then Vogelbaum was your dad, right?"
Homelander scowled at her. "Point taken."
(Y/N) looked him up and down. He suddenly felt very self conscious and small, even though he stood a few inches over her. They were emotions he thought he wouldn't feel anymore; human emotions. He was supposed to have left those behind in The Bad Room. That was the whole reason he had come back to this nightmare.
But he realized he wasn't feeling this way in a negative way. Well, he definitely felt ashamed that (Y/N) had to see him like this. But he realized he felt small because he was remembering every moment he and (Y/N) had in The Bad Room. She was the only good thing about that place. They kept each other going; they kept each other sane. When she suddenly disappeared, he thought the worse. He wanted to escape himself, to burn the whole place down, to burn himself with it. But he was still young, not yet The Homelander.
He later found out she was alive and had just managed to escape. He would've been angry that she didn't take him if he wasn't so heartbroken by it.
"I live nearby," (Y/N) said, breaking the silence. "You can come over and get cleaned up."
It took him a moment, but he finally registered what she had said. "Yeah. Okay. Lead the way."
(Y/N) seemed confused. "Um...I drove here."
Now it was Homelander's turn to look confused. When he realized she was being serious, he said, "Oh...okay. Well...you drive and I'll follow your car."
"You think it's a good idea to risk people seeing Homelander flying around covered in blood?"
He knew she wasn't wrong, but he hadn't driven in a car since...well, maybe ever.
"I'll clean the seats later, and it'll be less risk for your image," she said. "John...please?"
She wanted him to come over. She wanted to spend time with him. In her space. How could he say no?
That's how Homelander found himself stood under a stream of hot water in an unfamiliar bathroom. The blood ran from his face and hair, staining the water red as it ran down the drain. He found himself looking at the products she had there - her body washes and shampoo. He tried not to think too much about the fact that there were no men's products there. Although, he would've appreciated some men's body wash at the very least. He wasn't sure if he could handle using her body wash and smelling so much like her.
Eventually the water went from red to clear, so he shut it off. He wrapped one of the towels (Y/N) had left for him around his waist. He had left his suit on the floor, but now it was gone and any blood that had dripped onto the floor was cleaned. Homelander found himself blushing at the thought of (Y/N) coming into the bathroom while he was showering without him knowing, but then the blood moved from his face to a lower area.
He walked out of the bathroom and into (Y/N)'s living room. She was sat on her couch with a glass of wine in hand. He could smell bleach trying to be masked by the smell of hand lotion, which told him that she had cleaned her car while he was in the shower.
"Does that stuff get you drunk?" he asked, even though he knew the answer.
"Of course not," she responded. "I drink it for the taste at this point."
He noticed her looking him up and down again, and he suddenly became very aware of the fact that he wasn't wearing any clothes.
"My suit..." he started.
"The cape is in my washer, but I wasn't sure how to wash the rest of it. Especially with those shoulder pads you have."
"That's okay. I can get someone back at the tower to dry clean it for me. They won't ask any questions."
(Y/N) winced and took a sip of her wine.
"I have some clothes you can borrow," she said, placing her glass down and standing from the couch.
"I don't think any of your clothes will fit me," Homelander said, a smile tugging at his lips.
She gave him a look, but he could see she was smiling as well. "They're men's clothes."
His smile suddenly fell. "Oh."
"They're my brother's."
He should've been happy for that clarification, but it only made his brow crease more. "Brother?"
"Foster brother, but I see him as an actual brother," she explained. "He stays over whenever he's in New York so he's left some clothes here. They should fit you."
He dressed in the clothes that (Y/N) gave him, but he was filled with more questions. She had a foster brother, did that mean she had a whole foster family? It would make sense, she was still a minor when she had escaped. He guessed she couldn't just live on her own under the age of 18.
But couldn't she? She had powers. She was raised to be a Supe just as powerful as himself. She could've taken care of herself, gotten whatever she wanted.
But maybe what she wanted was a real family.
But they weren't her family. They were just posing as one.
He was still turning these thoughts over in his head as she entered her living room again. She was back on the couch with a second glass of wine. He didn't drink alcohol. He was told he couldn't before. He had an image to uphold. But who cared about that image now? He literally killed a man and got away with it.
He sat next to her. She took a sip of her own wine before looking at him. "You have questions."
That was an understatement.
But she was opening the floor for him to ask everything on his mind, and he had a lot of things he wanted to know.
The first thing out of his mouth was, "Why were you there tonight?"
She seemed almost amused by this being his first question. "Barbara called me. She said there was a breach."
"What are you, their bodyguard?"
"That's what she thinks. Or...thought, I guess."
"I didn't kill her. I left her with the bodies of the people who tortured us."
(Y/N) looked at him, almost in disbelief, before a laugh slipped from her lips. "Jesus, that's worse than death. That's what she deserves."
"Why does she still have your number? You escaped, why would you want any connections to her or-or that place?"
She sighed. "It's...complicated."
"Then uncomplicate it for me."
When (Y/N) looked at him, there was no fear in her eyes. Not like most people who get this close to him, who know what he's done and have to deal with him after the fact. Instead, he saw sadness. And with it, any ounce of anger that was growing in him evaporated.
"I didn't escape, I made a deal with Barbara and Vogulbaum. I told them either they let me go and stop trying to train me and make me into their next Supe princess, or the second they let me leave the facility and put me on camera I would reveal everything those people did to us. And then...and then I'd kill myself on live television so the world knew what Vought did to us."
Homelander watched her as she took a sip of her wine. Well, a gulp more like it. She finished the contents of her glass and reached for the bottle to get herself more. He reached for his own glass and swallowed it all in two gulps. He winced at the taste and suddenly was glad he never drank before.
(Y/N) started to refill his glass when he asked, "Why didn't you take me?"
She paused. He could hear her heart rate picking up, and he could see the tears welling in her eyes.
"They wouldn't - " she started, but choked on her tears. She cleared her throat and tried again. "They wouldn't let me. I tried to negotiate it with Barbara, but she said no, and she said even if she agreed Vogelbaum never would. She said the deal was only me, and if I didn't take it then...then that was it. I had to stay, continue all the training and...experiments. Neither one of us would ever get out if I agreed to that, so...I took their deal. They rushed me out in the middle of the night so that you wouldn't know, blindfolded me so that I wouldn't know where the facility was, and then dropped me in the middle of nowhere to fend for myself. I was hitchhiking for hours when this family drove past and found me."
"What did you tell them?" Homelander asked.
"I lied and said I had no idea what happened to me. I said bad people took me and I couldn't remember who they were or where I came from. Only that I remembered my first name, the only name that Barbara gave me. They looked into missing persons and couldn't find me anywhere here or in any other state. So - "
"They took you in," he finished. "They fostered you."
(Y/N) nodded. "They wanted to adopt me officially, but that's a whole process. They became like my family anyways. Like I said, I'm still in contact with them."
"Do they know you have powers?"
She shook her head. "I haven't used my powers since I got out of there. Not on purpose, anyways. There's always the odd slip up, but that's bound to happen."
Everything she said just resulted in more questions in his head. He wanted to ask her why she never disclosed to her "family" that she had powers, but he figured the answer to that was pretty simple: she wanted to be normal.
But she's not normal. She's never been normal. She was made to be a God, like me.
Instead of saying that, he said, "You never...called. Or came by the tower or...anything. You never tried to contact me."
"I did once, remember? When you asked me to be in The Seven."
Oh, he remembered. It was just after Lamplighter had announced his intention to leave, before they put out a nation wide search for a new member that resulted in Starlight joining the team. He asked Stillwell to wait on putting out word on a search because he had someone he wanted to ask first. Reluctantly, he turned to Vogelbaum, because he knew they must've had an idea of where (Y/N) ended up. Even when he thought she had just escaped, he knew they never would've let her truly be free of them. He asked Vogelbaum to send her a message: "Please come join The Seven. It would mean the world to me if you did."
Almost immediately, Vogelbaum called the tower to let Homelander know she had responded. "She said I'm sorry, but I can't."
He was locked in his room for days after that.
Now, he scoffed at her bringing up that memory. "That's not trying to contact me. That's responded to me trying to contact you, and having to go through Vogelbaum of all people to do it. You basically fell off the face of the Earth to me, but I was readily available to you if you ever gave enough of a fuck to reach out."
"You think I didn't care?!" (Y/N) snapped, standing from the couch. "You think I wasn't thinking of you every second after I got out of that hell hole?! That I wasn't trying for years to figure out where the hell they had you hidden so I could come save you, too? I tried everything John! I looked everywhere that I could, but I was too late. They were already parading you around on TV as the next Soldier Boy! The second they announced you'd be the leader of The Seven, I knew I was too late. They had already corrupted you too much, you were already another Supe pawn in Vought's attempts at global domination. I couldn't handle that. I couldn't try to pry you away from that when I knew you would never leave the spotlight. How could you? You're the world's greatest superhero, you had everyone at your feet. And I was just the girl who ran away from that life and stopped using her powers. How could you ever choose me over that?"
"I would've chosen you every time!" Homelander snapped back, getting to his feet as well to stand over her. "That's why I asked you to join The Seven!"
"But that's not what I wanted, John! I didn't want to be a hero. If I took you up on your offer, I would be letting Barbara and Vogelbaum and all of those other fuckers win. I just wanted to be normal! I wanted me and you to be normal!"
"But we're not fucking normal!"
Tears were running down her face as she backed away from him. He realized then that he was crying, too. So much built up emotion between the two of them was finally coming out. They both needed it, but goddamn, Homelander felt his heart breaking all over again.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
Suddenly, (Y/N) was throwing herself at him. Her arms were around his neck, holding onto him for dear life, and her lips were on his. He was surprised at first, but quickly wrapped his arms around her to hold her to him. He could taste the salt of their tears mixed with the wine they had been drinking. It was messy and far from the perfect kiss, but neither of them cared. It was the cultivation of years of emotions between them.
(Y/N) pulled away first. She rested her forehead against his, looking into his bright blue eyes. "I can't be your perfect Supe counterpart. I can't be a Supe, John, you have to understand that."
"I do," he said. "Whatever you need, I won't push you. I just want you back."
"You can have me," she said, her voice a whisper but he could still hear her plain as day. "You always had me."
He leaned in to kiss her again, picking her up in his arms as he did so. He never wanted to let her go again, so he wouldn't.
#homelander#homelander imagine#homelander x reader#antony starr#antony starr x reader#antony starr imagine#the boys#the boys imagine#one shot#imagine#fanfiction#fanfic#fandom
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Yandere!Monster x Reader [Asylum Spider]
A/N: This feels a little bit strange to post. It's an older OC (the drawing I used is like 3 years old) I had for a horror manga. I thought it would make a good yandere if you're into actual monsters. And the atmosphere is a lot like an indie horror rpg. :)
You wake up in a damp, dark room with no recollection of how you ended up here. Hovering above you is a repugnant beast whose appearance terrifies you into silence. Yet it doesn’t attack you. Quite the opposite, it seems to want to guide you outside. You must escape quickly, as whatever lurks above causes the creature to squirm in fear. Yet as departure approaches, a desire blooms within its ancient heart: must you really leave it behind?
TW: Monsters, horror, implied violence/abuse
Your vision is blurry and your head is throbbing with a harrowing, unbearable headache. You've been awakened from your unexplainable slumber by cold yet burning drops of liquid hitting your cheek at irregular intervals. You squint and try to focus on whatever lies before you. Slowly, the object becomes sharper and your eyes widen in terror. Drooling above you, a monstrosity. It looks almost human. Sharp, curved teeth are grotesquely gawking their way out. The skin is discolored, similar to the blueish tint of someone struck by hypothermia. The creature seems to be wearing a strange sort of straight jacket, tightly securing the arms and ending in a shredded rag, dangling between the skinny, crooked legs. Yet the most disturbing feature are the massive arthropod appendages that fan out from behind, suspending the abomination above ground.
The ridiculous, offensive sight drains the blood from your face and you hold your breath. You wait for the final blow that never arrives. It lowers its head and inhales deeply, trying to detect if you're still alive. Satisfied with the answer, it scurries aside and leaves you enough space to lift yourself up. The wide smile remains plastered on its face, making it look like a deformed mannequin. With nothing left to lose, you decide to risk it. "Can you talk?" you mumble, unsure about the potential response. It shakes its head in denial and you raise your eyebrows. So it can understand human speech.
You stand up and look around. There's a pungent smell irritating your nostrils, and large pipes slither their way over walls and ceilings in a maze of rusted metal. The floor is flooded and your ankles are sunken in murky water. Above the only door hangs an old plaque, eaten by mold and age. "W∎ter & Drain∎∎∎: Pro∎∎rty of ∎∎∎∎∎ Asylum". Ah. This must be the sewers, then. How did you even end up in the sewers of an asylum? Maybe someone upstairs can provide you with answers. You turn to the creature that has been obediently observing you.
"Can you take me to the main building?"
The humanoid spider screeches and trashes its appendages across the water. You jolt and step back instinctively. Is it mad? Have you upset it somehow? No, if anything, it looks afraid. You stare at its bizarre convulsions until it occurs to you the movements aren't quite as erratic as you assumed. It is drawing something using a swamped patch of ground.
Don't let find you Get out
You're choking with dread again. The ominous words send a cold chill down your spine and you shiver, helpless.
"How am I supposed to get out if I don't know where the exit is?" You demand with your last ounce of energy.
It wobbles its way towards the door, and stops to face you expectantly. Is it offering to guide you? You're not quite sure whether to trust the ghoulish creature, but the rotting room is filling you with panic.
Anything is better than being alone here.
What a suffocating atmosphere. The corridors are tall, narrow and black. You can barely discern anything around you and the only sounds are the ghastly echoes of the metal creaking and bending from the water pressure. That, and your uncertain steps across the muddy flow. You glance at the creature. Its eyes are covered by a leather blindfold, so the darkness mustn't be an impediment for it. Then again, how can it tell its way within this colossal labyrinth?
"Is this where you live?" you whisper, trying to make conversation. You need something to distract you from your pounding heart.
It nods hesitantly.
Your foot hits something and you instinctively attempt to kick it off. Perhaps some algae that begun developing in this forgotten grave. It seems to have wrapped around your ankle, so you bend down to remove it with your hands. It's a soaked sheet of paper. The ink has mostly diffused into the page, but you can still read some of the larger headlines. "Dozens have disappeared. The mystery of the abandoned Asylum, believed to be haunted by the countless victims of horrid experimentation". Next to the title is a photograph too smudged to make out.
You stop in your tracks, focused on the blurry letters. The monster patiently waits for you. Is it something to be asked? You gaze up at its features, trying to take in the details. You take a deep breath in and open your mouth.
"Did they...um...do this to you upstairs?"
It seems to ponder your question with the same unfaltering grin that now feels painfully forced. Finally, it nods.
What a strange little creature you are. He returns your curious stare. Now that he thinks about it, you must be the very first person to follow him. When was the last time he spoke to another living creature? He can't remember. The others would panic beyond control at the mere sight of him, blindly running away and getting lost in the sewers. Later he'd find their bodies quickly decomposing under the running water, and he'd dispose of them outside. No one deserves to die here. The really unfortunate ones made it upstairs, into the asylum. He'd rather not brood over it.
Yet here you are, asking questions and walking alongside him as if you were on a stroll. He doubts he's gotten less hideous over the years. Then again, he can't see to confirm. Just as he can't see you. Despite his lack of vision, he is overwhelmed by the feeling that you're a beautiful being. You must be. And thankfully, you won't have to worry yourself with any of the horrors lurking these cursed grounds for much longer. He'll help you escape.
Then he'll be alone once more. It shouldn't bother him this much, it's always been like this. But meeting you has reminded him just how much he missed the presence of another human, how dearly he longed for a kind voice. Is it selfish to fear isolation?
"Oh! You're right, I can see a gate from here." You exclaim in gratitude.
You sprint towards the rusty bars and feel a cool breeze against your skin. This must lead outside. The creature has kept its word. Soon enough all of this will be a nightmare of the past.
"I-"
The monster seems to be making an effort to speak, but all that comes out is a dissonant croak. You're confused and he can sense it.
Must you really leave him behind? He needs to let you know that he'd like to stay with you, but his throat is contracting pointlessly and there's nothing he can use as a writing surface. What is there to do? His chest is tightening with the frenzied desire to keep you with him forever.
Please don't leave him.
#gn reader#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere scenarios#yandere monster#male yandere x reader#monster x reader#yandere oc#original character#yandere imagines#monster oc#horror#yandere horror#terato
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Haunted By The Look In My Eyes
JJ Maybank x fem!reader
Summery: After a near death experience while on an adventure Y/n and JJ were supposed to be sat on the bench for, tension builds between the Pogues until finally, JJ’s reckless attitude meets Y/n’s intense feelings that can only be compared to the hopelessness JJ once felt himself.
“Guess it’s just you and me.” I rolled my eyes, the coolness from the surface of the metal shipment container doing nothing to cool down the sweltering heat that danced through the air within the four walls. Boxes of random assortments of various items plastered in rotting wood and wrapped thickly in plastic wrap.
Water clung to everything, beading down my forehead in thick droplets of sweat, the salty liquid tasting on my tongue with each swipe of it over my cracking lips. I swore if I ever had the curse of being sent to hell, this was it. This was the fiery depths of heat people spoke about, I was sure of it.
JJ was glistening too, though, he seemed used to it. Growing up with no temperature regulations in the unforgiving summer heat seems to have made him less uncomfortable by the thickness in the air, I hadn’t been lucky enough to adapt over time.
I watched him slide down against the floor, trying to get as low as possible. Heat does rise, after all. I sat opposite of him. Climbing on the crates of junk and cringing at the insufferable squeaking sounds that I could only ever compare to nails on chalkboard. I sat as close to the small opening in the container as possible without making myself known to anyone walking outside. The risk was worth it for the cool breeze of the ocean, even for just a moment.
But just as I close my eyes, swaying and praying that the heat will die down, the blond speaks.
“You know, I’ve been thinking. When all this is over, and we’re just rolling in the dough…I’m gonna get a new board and I’m gonna deck it out. And I’m gonna go on a surf trip.” His head leaned back against the crate behind him, his hair sticking to the back of his neck and his once wildly untamed hair clumping together in a wet mess.
I gave him a look, leaning forward on my palms and smiling at him, I let my eyes wander around the container.
“I don’t know where, but like, the worlds callin’.” He smiled, dissociating for a second and letting his smile fade. Slipping away for only a moment. “I don’t…name a place.” He was back, the same toothy grin as before, the same glistening shine in his blue eyes.
I thought for a second, blowing air through my lips.
“Spain.” I nodded my head.
“Then, after Spain…South America or South Africa, you know-“
“You’re gonna go to South Africa?” I interrupted with a teasing smile, partially shocked that JJ ever wanted to go away so far.
“Or one of the south places.” He defended himself. “A-and then Micronesia maybe. And then, just ride…wherever the wave takes you.” He looked down at his ring clad hands, twisting them nervously like he might have doubts that his dreams were stupid, unachievable.
I smiled at him even when he wasn’t looking because I believed everything he said. I knew that one day, he would go out just like he said and catch the best swells around the globe.
“Y’know?” He looked up finally, catching my grin.
“So that’s the plan—if we were to get a ton of cash?” I asked, looking away from him again. “That’s the dream?” I said it like a question, though, really I was agreeing with everything he said. It sounded like a dream. “Surf trip.”
“Bamboo hut…cooking a fish on a fire and…after that you go back out and just hit the waves again.” He moved his hands wildly as he spoke, building his dream in his mind with just the wiggling of his fingers. I rolled my eyes playfully.
“That’s the dream.” He confirmed, his voice lowering slightly, and I knew he was serious.
“Sounds perfect.” I agreed softly.
“Yeah.”
“Got room for one more?” I shrugged, asking honestly despite the light smile on my face. JJ simply laughed, smiling and looking back up from his lap to meet my eyes. I watched how his smile dropped when he saw how serious I was.
“You got your passport?” He asked, and it made me laugh this time.
“You don’t got a passport.” I teased.
“Hell no I don’t got a passport! The Kookiest thing ever.” He smiled, and I felt myself laughing from my stomach. A real, happy laugh that I hadn’t felt bubbling up since I was a little girl. Since before all the guns and allegations, and prison sentences, and near death experiences.
Sometimes I wondered what I would think of JJ, if I didn’t know him. Sometimes, I feared that if I had been born on the other side of the island, if my parents could afford a nicer house, if I lived just nearly two neighborhoods over, would I be just like everyone else?
Would I have thought of him as just another Maybank? Surely, if told his dreams to Topper or Kelce, they’d laugh and call him nothing greater than his old man. I thought he was a great deal more than Luke ever was, but would I think that if I had more money in my pocket?
I decided that I would, because the look in his eyes told me I would have. They were blue, sure, but they were the most trusting, truest eyes I’d ever seen. Maybe that’s why he knew he was a good liar, because he had the doe eyes down, but he couldn’t fool me any more than he could fool John B, Kiara, or Pope.
JJ Maybank had been the center of my universe since he had dropped down right front and center of me, since he had wandered into my life and claimed that we were to be best friends forever without leaving any room for argument.
I knew that I would have found him in any life. Because I know JJ Maybank better than anyone ever has, and he knows me more than I know myself.
When he sighed and fought against the “B-Team” I faked my offense, because though I knew he was itching for action, we’d get to share a tender moment like this together, just locked up in a hot box with no room the breathe and no wind to cool us down.
I craved our conversations like he craved the chaos, and I clawed my way into his heart because since the moment I met him I understood how special he was to me. He’s so, undeniably special.
“The Kookiest.” I agreed softly, letting my head fall back and my eyes close again, content with the feeling of my beating heart racing for him.
Maybe being the B-Team wasn’t the worst, because then the only worry was trying to maintain a steady temperature and keep myself from swaying my way to the floor. Heat stroke seemed a lot less scary than this.
JJ quieted me down, though, I hadn’t said a word, and his pointer pressing against his lips reminded me that maybe he shouldn’t be leading us around the boat, completely exposed to danger, and so I snuck around him and squeeze through the thin passageway, ignoring his whisper-shouting protests.
Our bodied pressed flat against the side of the upper deck walls, my head stretched around the corner to view the empty deck ahead of us.
“Clear?” He asked softly, and I nodded my head quickly.
We ran on our toes, walking light on our feet to avoid the loud slapping of boots against metal. JJ fell behind me slightly as he spun around, paranoid of the potential of someone following behind.
“Jay, come on.” I mumbled desperately, feeling the stress falling down on me.
We turned the corner quickly, JJ turning to look over the railing for John B on a lifeboat, our getaway car, only to be met with open water. Our breathing echoed between our ears, neither of us heard the harsh slapping of extra feet plowing down the stairs ahead.
“I don’t see them.” He announced, all too loudly.
I froze in the presence of a taller man with untamed hair and scruffy facial hair.
“JJ…” I warned, squaring my shoulders off as he stepped in line with me. No one made any movement for a split moment.
“Jayj…” I said a little more desperately as the man unsheathed his machete, only drawing JJ’s in closer, a fein for danger, and a junkie for risk.
“Of course…” The man began to speak, his brows furrowing. “There’s more of you.”
JJ and I shared a look, our faced contorted in an unspoken agreement that we understood the numbers here. Two against one was a safe bet, though the factor of his blade made me squirm a little.
“Get down on your knees.” The man instructed, and I wanted to laugh.
“Yeah, thats not gonna happen!” JJ’s words became shorter as he took a step back, the man’s slow approach sending both of us in fight or flight. I knew from the first glance what JJ would choose.
The man swung violently, aiming down on JJ’s shoulders with a quick blow, but missing as he ducked and shifted to the left. The machete made a loud clanging sound as it hit the metal floor.
He swung again, this time at me, but he was already off balance, swinging aimlessly at someone who wasn’t there. My hands pushed down against his arm, keeping him and the weapon pinned to the wall of the boat, right against a closed compartment that looked like it was hiding electrical cables.
Grunting as he fought against my hands, JJ wound up and struck the man with his bare knuckles, hitting him square in the jaw. His hands braced the mans shoulders, our eyes meeting in the chaotic scene, another unspoken plan shared between our glances.
“Hit him, Y/n/n!” He instructed, and as JJ pulled the man back, I opened the compartment where his hand had been, smacking him dead center in his face so hard, it echoed through my ears. I couldn’t help but grimace to myself.
“Wheres John B?” JJ shouted, his voice rough with anger. He shifted from foot to foot, hands drawn in a position ready to swing, even with the man helplessly lying on the ground.
I ran to the edge of the boat, my palms bracing myself over the edge, the empty water making my stomach drop. I wondered helplessly what was holding the others up as JJ and I fought on borrowed time.
“John B!” I shouted, my voiced strained.
I heard the sound of hair moving quickly, the cut of a blade slicing above JJ’s head as he once again ducked, but this time, we weren’t as lucky. With a kick to the gut, JJ went flying back, his head bouncing off the side of the railing. He sat with his hand cradling the back of his head.
“Y/n/n!” He alerted me. Turning on my feet, the man was closer to me than before, his gaze deadly and set solely on me.
He swung once, twice, missing with each violent stroke of the blade. I ducked the best I could, growing more confident as the pain of connection never came, but I grew too overconfident. I spend too much time with JJ, I guess.
The sting came quickly, a burning pain that ripped through my skin and sunk deep past the tissue. I screamed out in a broken cry of desperation, my fingers gripping my shoulder in agony.
The man swung again, only to be pulled away by the blond boy once again, his arms swallowing him whole from the back. Their grunts were the only other thing I could hear past the beating of my heart, yet, seeing the man elbow JJ in his sternum hurt more than the wound that bled out between my red fingers.
He had JJ winded, and with one swift turn, he tried to take me one more time.
I ducked, and watched in horror as the blunt end sent JJ flying over the edge of the boat, nearly three stories until the splash sounded from the deck.
The man came at me again, the dance becoming all too repetitive as the sole of my shoe connected with his stomach. He stumbled into the ground, lying flat. I raced to the edge, the sight below me sickening.
There JJ was, floating on his stomach, his head below the surface, unmoving and sinking slowly. The waves look him in every direction, and all that filled my mind was the silent begging that he would flip.
“JJ!” I screamed, trying to wake him as if the water wasn’t filling his ears. The water around him bubbled, the deep blue a bright white from the impact, his old tank top lifting to reveal the shape of his back.
He didn’t move, he didn’t respond, and my feet met the top of the railing on the boat. I didn’t even think, I didn’t register all the danger below the surface, how stupid it was to jump into the open water with no guarantee that John B would ever show up, but it didn’t matter because I couldn’t stop it. I was hitting the water regardless of how fearful I was of the cold.
“JJ!” Water fell out of my mouth in heaving splatters of coughing fits, my hair glued flat against my skin and my clothes clinging to every inch of my body. I would be lying if I said the impact didn’t hurt, if the salt water didn’t burn the harsh aching in my shoulder.
“Jayj!” With my good arm, I pulled the blond boy into my body, laying his head back against my shoulder to keep him above the surface, to get some air into his lungs.
“Jayj?” My other hand came to grab his face, and my thighs burned with how viciously they cut through the water, treading painfully harsh to keep us afloat. His limp body drifted against mine, and the gentle tangle of our limbs made it harder to swim.
“Jayj, stay with me!” I dropped his cheek, needing the extra hand to keep us above the water. With no help around and only the unfamiliar waters to call home, I felt a bile rise in my throat, like I could vomit if my stomach wasn’t so empty, if hungry was a feeling I had grown to know.
“Please!” I gritted my teeth, feeling my head drip under the gentle waves for a moment, it stung when I opened my eyes again. “JJ, please!” I cried out, taking in every breath of air like it was a gift.
“Stay with me, stay with me!” I grunted, using all my strength. I debated letting the water take me, if only I could extend my arms to keep him a float, I would let myself drown.
My thighs burned, and my arms were too shaky to hold on for much longer. My brows furrowed and my nose burned, a familiar ache in my lungs. I knew crying would do me no good, but as my chest became hollow, I felt my tears mix with the oceans waves drowning out my face.
Everything hurt. Hurt in a way, I could never explain. It was like I could feel each edge of my heart giving out and the sharp cuts of every wheeze that huffed past my cracking lips.
The water was red. Redder than I’d ever seen the ocean because water isn’t red. Maybe it was the cut from his head staining the once vibrant seas a dark maroon, but I could see it swirling in delicate droplets down my arm, I could feel the stickiness even in the salty surroundings.
But there was also fear. Fear that my best wasn’t enough, fear that I would become inclined to give up, because giving up is much sweeter when you have the option. Dying never is. Not even when you want to. Having the urge doesn’t make the pain less scary, and so I kick restlessly to keep the both of us up.
“John B’s coming, John B’s coming, okay?” I assured the empty crowd, JJ completely unaware of the distress of the situation as he lay lifeless in my weakened arms.
His arms floated with the movement of the ocean, his hair covering his eyes. The blond hair that I adored, ran my hands through and ruffled was darker now that it was wet. Not in the way it was when he surfed, but drenched. Stuck to his skin and covering his forehead.
With one strong kick, I gained enough power to lift us up just a bit higher from the surface. My shaky hand brushed the hair from his face.
“John B!” I call out as I steal another glance at his paling face, a red stain spreading on his temple from the blow of the blade, leaking down and staining my own cheek from how close he is to me.
“Help!”
The motor of a boat catches my ear, but my lungs have given up and I’ve already sunk so far below the water, our heads are barely breaking surface.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I pant out, my eyes shutting like it would do us any good. I could have let him go, I could have carried my own weight a moment longer, but with every doubting thought, my hands only held onto him tighter, a silent refusal to give up on him, even if it meant letting the darkness consume me.
Kiara would have yelled at me, and been proud all at once. She would have called me stupid for risking my life for someone so reckless, but then she would have clapped me on the back and said it was what any of us would have done. Pogues for life and all that.
I really missed her now, I wished she was here to scold me, I wished I wasn’t so alone.
“Hey! JJ!” A chorus of cries for us rang throughout the distance, the motor boat approaching as the others all cried out for JJ, my head slipping below the waves.
“No, no, no, no!” John B’s voice broke, the weight on my shoulder lifting, I saw Pope and John B lift him from the water through the stinging of my blurry vision, I felt him leaving my grip, but my hands only grabbed onto him harder.
Subconsciously, I couldn’t let him go. It was only hurting the both of us, we were saved, the Pogues finally finding their way to us, but part of my brain couldn’t comprehend that it was all ending soon because it was all going black. My vision, my heart, my mind.
But just before the water could suck me down, Kiara pulled me on board, her hands grabbing onto me like I had grabbed onto JJ.
“Y/n, holy shit.” Her voice shook with concern. Where her knuckles had held onto me, where my shirt was wrinkled wetly between her fingers, came the slow oozing of deep maroon down my skin, staining everything it touched.
It smeared around with every rock of the boat, and I swore I felt myself swaying. Kiara said something about the depth of the wound, how she thought she saw bone. It blurred like my vision, my lips parting only to shut at the sound of Pope and John B’s distress.
JJ laid still with his head propped up against the edge of the boat, eyes shut just as they were in the water, his eyelashes laying curled against his wet cheek.
The sight gave me a second wind, my hands craved to feel the weight of his body in my arms, to feel the warmth of his skin against my finger tips tor remind me he was here.
“JJ, no, come on!” I begged through broken tears. “Please, get up!” My hands tapped on his chest, though I was ready to press my lips against his and give him all my air if I needed to.
I crawled to him like I needed him to breathe, my knuckles scraping across the bottom of the boat, bruises and cuts littering my pruning skin. I clung to him like a vice, my lips wobbling like a child.
“Get up!” I shouted, scolding him like a mother. Yet, the brokenness of my voice seemed to carry into his empty head as his drool spilled out of his lips, spitting up onto his chest as he gained his bearings.
It was gross, the salt water mixed with the slimy drool dripping from his mouth and wetting his soaked tank top beyond what it was, but I had never seen a more relieving sight. My best friend drooling all over himself, but god, he was alive and that’s all that mattered.
The boat seemed to fall quiet for a moment, all in awe of his return, all following the wavering gaze that swept over the small boat. He was out of it, for sure. His eyes carrying a sense of question beyond what he usually held, but as he registered the faces around him as his closest friends, his family, the panic seemed to fade into a mellow knowing.
“Yeah, yeah! Cough it out, cough it out baby!” John B encouraged, a sea of instructions following from the others in a desperate hurry, all reaching over to simply feel for a steady thumping of a pulse.
I sat back on my heels, looking down at him, and revoking my warm touch from his chest quickly. Retracting it with uncertainty that it would hurt him, like he was fragile.
“Welcome to the land of the living, dude.” Pope smiled, earning a side eye from JJ as he looked around to find his friends all looking down at him with concerned gazes.
My fingers shook, hovering over his chest like I didn’t know if it was right to touch him, if I had the right. I’d felt my own chest caving in just minuted ago, I wondered if I dared to rest my palms against his skin, would he feel the same?
I laid a hand on his shoulder, and watched his vision dance from where we touched to my face, taking a moment to breathe in my presence.
“Hi.” I breathed out in relief, but also something deeper that I didn’t have the words to describe.
“‘Sup.” JJ said, his usually cool demeanor meaning nothing to me at the moment. I pushed his head away gently, still all too aware of the wound leaking from his temple, the way the blood seemed to stain everything. His hair, his skin, his stupid shirt. It tainted everything good with the memories of the bad, the unforgettable, the hurt. But I couldn’t stay away for too long.
As soon as the smile cross his golden features, my arms wrapped around his face like a blanket, holding him to my chest to feel how fast he had my heart beating. He didn’t mention the drumming against his ear, but the warmth that spread across his face told me he felt it, he knew the feeling all too well. Maybe if I had the courage to rest my hands over his heart, I would have known.
I thought of the surf trip, of his dreams, of the gold, of everything that he ever wanted, and I sweat at the thought of it never happening. I crumbled at the idea of him not getting to be a forever given in my life, of him only being a fraction of time, when I wanted it all.
“Don’t ever do that again.” I mumbled against his wet hair, but I don’t think he heard it over the chatter between him and John B, the laughter from Sarah all too loud to hear my soft whisper, a confession that really wasn’t much, but carried the weight of all my emotions.
If he did, he didn’t mention it. He was good at not mentioning it, but he was bad at forgetting.
“You’re bleeding all over the sand, Y/n.” Sarah pointed out, stepping out of the boat, allowing JJ and her husband-to-be to drag the long dead motorboat onto the shore.
An island to call home and a tropical paradise to explore for however long the summer would last and the warmth would suffice.
I was the first to let the water reach my shins, practically jumping out of the boat in a rush, an overwhelming need to feel the ground between my toes, to rinse off the grime and hurt from the failed mission. One cross gone and another home taken.
My body lay starfish position on the soft surface, my shoulder still open and aching, but dulling over time. It didn’t feel that bad anymore, and I was sure the ringing in my ears was just from the adrenaline, though, I’d never heard it before.
“That’s nasty, shes right.” Kiara agreed, trying to tug me up by the arm, only to stretch out my collar bone and earn a lazy grunt from my lips. If I were as smart as I had been prior to the stress, prior to the fact of the pact of the B Team, prior to all the shared dreams and promises to make it out, I would have asked Cleo or Pope to help mend my wounds.
Now, I just felt ready to die. Let my life wash away into the open ocean and let the jellyfish drink me up. Let the sea turtles consume me and share the same bliss of a high that I did with my friends.
“Circle of life.” I grunted, my cheek covered in sand, I buried my face into the dirt. “It’s an early Thanksgiving for the seagulls.”
“You’re so dramatic.” Kiara kicked my hip lightly, trying to move the rock of a being I had become.
“Yeah, and not everyone celebrates Thanksgiving.” Cleo joked from a distance, already gathering wood and stone for a fire. It would be dark soon anyway.
“My joints hurt.” I complained drowsily.
“No shit, I can practically see your bone. Get up.” Kiara fought, turning her head to call for back up from someone with the power to move me from my dormant headspace.
“John B, Pope!” Kiara called out with an annoyed expression, and I found myself smiling at the way her face grew fuzzier and the sounds all became one loud booming ring in my ears.
It hurt so good, a warmth covering my body like a blanket, a reward after fighting so hard. If death found me, I found it peaceful. Ready to be consumed by the darkness to avoid the haunting memory of the limp body floating in my arms. To forget about the way my heart clenched beyond repair.
It wasn’t like, it was love. I’d always known it deep down, but now I knew I could put a name to the feeling, and it terrified me. Because it replayed every second of JJ’s life slipping away, and somehow, it left out the part where he came to.
I could barely make out the shape of the trees anymore. Everything became one big collage in the sky.
“John B! JJ!” Kiara looked back, stunned by the look in my eyes, the same look that had been in JJ’s before he was taken by the waves. A look that would have haunted me for a lifetime. It now tormented Kiara.
It was a look of slipping, of giving up, giving out. The end, even.
“Help!” She cried out desperately, watching the clumsy boys scramble to the ground and catch their bearings, hands digging through the dirt to get to me.
“What happened?” Pope called out, his concerned hands holding Kiara’s shoulders and his love sick gaze failing to focus on what really matters.
Isn’t that funny? I spent all my time focused on JJ, my own gaze stuck in the permanent focus of only him. I didn’t even care to feel the pain tearing away at my skin and my bones. I barely even noticed it after a while. It became nothing compared to the something I almost lost.
Now, as I lay in the sand, choking on my breath in agonizing pain that slowly seeps through in waves, I watch through blurred vision as Pope does the same.
It seemed that it just now snapped in everyone’s mind that the maroon pooling around my arm wasn’t normal. It wasn’t like the scrapes from sharp rocks in the surges, or the nasty head wounds from countless drunken dares to climb things that shouldn’t even be looked at while sober.
The bubbling, and the smell, the metaling smell, it was sickening, and it wasn’t normal. Adrenaline can only get you so far, and hell, I’d already spent it all up.
“Y/n/n!” I heard a familiar voice, rough with exhaustion but stronger now that the day was beginning to wash over and the pain was beginning to creep away.
His dirty hands pressed hard against my skin, his delayed nature only slipping his hand over the one place it shouldn’t have been. Touch me anywhere, make me feel okay, like this isn’t really the end, but please, don’t dig your fingers around in the wound I have just for you.
It only makes things harder to mend.
“JJ!” Sarah screamed, and I threw my head back, screaming.
It hurt worse than anything, the feeling of nail against flesh. It stung more than any jellyfish and it scratched sharper than any knife. Thousands of needles shot down my veins, my knuckles stuttering into a pitiful fist.
“Stop! Stop!” I cried, my whole body shaking—no, my whole body collapsing in on itself. Folding into the earth in order to run away from the pain.
“I’m trying to help, stop squirming like a fish!” He stressed, the creases by his brow showing the wear from the evening already, we all felt as though we’d aged a century in a minute.
“Get off of me!” I tried to reach over, I didn’t want his dead hands on my cold body. I didn’t want his limp fingers rubbing against my moving joints. I didn’t want to feel what I felt in the water, and I didn’t want to see it either.
“Please, get off!” I shouted, my voice breaking like a fragile thing. A thin layer, a brittle sheet of clay crumbling under the weight of the hands that once so tenderly shaped it.
Dying does a funny thing to the mind, especially in a panic. You spend all your time trying to remember to breathe, you forget reality. Even though he was kneeling down beside me, digging around under my skin and arguing back harshly words he meant as sentiment in his overwhelming stress, to me, I had convinced myself he was dead. I didn’t do it, I couldn’t save him, I let those thoughts of giving up consume us and I watched him die in my arms.
There is no boat ride, there is no island, there is no nothing. There is only before, and the end. There is no after. Forget the fact the blood is sticking to everything, and the fact that I’ve felt John B’s cold rings slapping hard across my cheekbones to keep me aware of myself, everything is all nothing and I hear nothing but the sound of my ragged breath wheezing and my horrible cries echoing, bouncing off the Pogues.
Pope took over, finally getting his brains back. The scarecrow held firm pressure over the wound, evenly spread along my arm in a way that stung, but never scratched, never matted the fur of my mane or cut off my skin. He spoke so quickly, and it was so muffled, I began to want to hear him, take the trip down the yellow brick road and find the courage to stay.
Then, there was the ripping of a shirt. It was dark, and rough, but worn in so it felt softer that way. Then, more pain, more pressure, and then, nothing.
But this wasn’t death, because I could still hear and feel and taste the spit on my tongue, the salt water that washed everything I bit down on away. I was still there, but now, I could feel myself calming down, drowning out the silence and coming back to the truth.
“Have you considered a career as a EMT?” I panted, my heavy eyes flickering up to Popes reforming face, the hay and the straw hat fading away into just the kind boy I loved. The yellow road becoming the soft, now wet, sand beneath my back.
He smiled like a dope, clicking his tongue and showing his toothy grin. Relief was the only word to describe the silence that fell over the group at that moment, silence that felt heavy to everyone but the victim. Silence that I felt on the boat.
“I hate you.” He laughed, punching me between the ribs with a force that only could be equated to the fact that he wasn’t a liar, and it was obvious he was on the math team, not an athlete.
“No you don’t.”
My body curled up in laughter, nose scrunched and aware of the extreme caution that was required to keep my arm from splitting apart. I tried to argue back, but my words fell short on choked laughter, letting Kiara hoist me up by the waist and feeling her wet bracelets press against my warm skin. JJ simply walked away, all too quiet for a boy who never knew silence in his life.
I didn’t press him.
“Can I sit?”
Days had passed, water lapped at the shore, quenching the insurmountable thirst of the dry land before it. The wind blew softly against the greenery, and the birds sung out, diving into the distant waters for their supper.
JJ sat with his knees pulled to his chest, arms thrown over the bend lazily, hands fiddling with a sharpened stick he had been working incessantly on since he’d finished his first project, a white waving flag that read, Pougelandia.
The wind blew up the end of his shirt, a cut off tank top that once fell to his mid thigh now rested loosely at his tanned hips, ripped unevenly across the dark stitching.
He breathed evenly, eyes not even flickering over to meet mine, not a word shared between us. A dream of surf expenditures and found family adventures. We talked of island paradise when all smoothed over. When the earth buried our blood and tears, and the sting began to slip away.
There was happiness, beyond the blood and bruise, past the curses and cries. Beyond the terror of the swift nightfall, the impending cold that would have brought any surviving energy away from our warm bodies. There was calm.
He promised to make boards with dried wood, to carve them by hand, break them with his knuckles. The wood was rotting, and it was cracking quickly.
Once again, dreams were altered to fit the shitty hand that was dealt. The rich became richer, and our frames became thinner.
The world spat in our face and said it was the wind.
I sat down beside him now, and it was unusually quiet between us. I guess, this was better than the forever silence, the six feet of separation that I wanted nothing more than to leave behind. He couldn’t even see me.
“Did I do something?” I asked quietly, voiced drowned out by the sound of the sea, the distant hollers of our friends echoing above the trees. I wished I could see everything for what it is, but I had not a clue, a fool sitting beside my uncharacteristically empty best friend.
“No.” He answered plainly.
“No?” I asked, begged practically for confirmation. He nodded his head, agreeing, but it was unclear if it was an agreement within a disagreement.
“Are you sure?”
“Yup.” He popped the ‘p’, bitter, I could see it more clearly now in my new found focus.
“I can’t make it go away if you don’t tell me, Jay.” I smiled, laughing like it was a pity for us to be so awkward. And it was, it was so fucking weird. Fake niceties are weird.
Leaning forward to mirror how he sat, I tried to get a forward perspective of the furrow between his brows. He brushed the space below his nose and sniffed like he was annoyed. It reminded me of the boy who held up the cross with his bare hands on the ship, the boy who had aimed a gun at the kids he grew up with, his own sister too. His anger reminded me a lot of a Camerons anger, and I figured he had enough reason to feel stressed, he had all the reason to show it.
“This isn’t Kildare.” I reminded him.
“I know.”
“It’s just us.” I added.
“I know.” He nearly snapped, fingers tingling with annoyance, anger, grief even. It was a dying fuse ready to explode, to burn it all down.
We sat in silence for a moment, and I hoped he would speak. Rarely, we had fights. Usually they were stupid, ending in us laughing and my hips thrown over his shoulder. He never hit and neither did I, neither of us even tempted the idea. If we needed space, we gave it, though, it never lasted long because we craved each other like a dog to its owner. Like a moth to a flame, we always came back.
Still, I hoped he would speak first. I felt like I was doing most of it, carrying the conversation for five people while only speaking to one. When he remained quiet, trying to reel it in, I broke the tension.
“You can tell me what’s wrong, Jay. I’ll be here. It’s not like I could leave even if I wanted to.”
If I hadn’t lost my life, I had lost my ability to read the room, because my weak joke fell so flat, it might as well have served as the boards we never got to make together, the memories we would never get to experience. It rotted into his mind and left something so disgusting to him, I could read it on his face.
“No, no but you could.” Sand kicked up behind his heels, hands pushing up off of his knees, knuckles bruised and palmed sandy. He was scruffier than usual, but the blues of his eyes were all the same, dappled with the flickers of light I had fallen in love with so long ago.
“What?” I laughed, standing up slowly, but then jerking forward once I saw how quickly he was creating distance between us.
If we weren’t alone then, I was sure he had led us into total solidarity.
The trees were thicker here, the shoreline rocky and short, even at low tide. It would be completely gone in a few minutes when the tide would start rolling in. I could feel the water trying to break free against the soles of my shoes every time a larger wave came crashing through, between the overhangs and vines that tried and failed to barricade the sacred land.
“Because you did leave, Y/n. You left.”
JJ turned around, his hand pointing to my heart and his eyes avoiding contact where the cloth was wound tightly around my skin and bone. The shirt he tore to let me wear and to let me feel put together again. He stepped closer, closing the distance between us.
I caught the way his eyes seemed to shine more delicately in the reflection of the ocean, the way the wind blew against his blonde locks, the same shining color as his heart of gold. A loyal, fiercely protective friend who was crumbling at the mere idea that abandonment could always win, even though the people he believed would never leave.
“You left.” He repeated more quietly, his lower lip wobbling with such an intensity, I felt the bile rising up in my throat.
“I didn’t leave.” I defended quietly between choked breaths. “How could you think I would leave? I would never leave you, I wouldn’t want to.”
“Then what was that then?”
His head turned to look out at the horizon, biting down harshly on his teeth and sucking in a sharp breath through his nose. His weight shifted from left to right, fists clenching and unclenching by his side, conflict evident in his face. His brows were drawn in so tightly, his face scrunched up almost like he was in pain, like he couldn’t even fight anymore, I watched the internal battle between strength and hurt argue over who got control over his brain. I could tell which had already won his heart.
“I watched you there, Y/n. I saw the…the blood and the tears. I saw all of it, you were dead. You died.”
I shook my head, feeling a familiar lump forming in the base of my throat. Everything seemed to burn. From my sweaty palms to the flare of my nostrils and the back of my skull. It all ached dully, inflamed by the accusation that I had truly given up, that I had been gone with no intention to come rescue him.
“I was there.” My voice broke, my eyebrows pulled down in a deep frown. My palm instinctively came to cup my wound, and my fingers cupped around the fabric, pulling down gently to let the pain breathe.
Never in our decade of friendship had I ever felt so alone from JJ. We were on other worlds and it was clear, and it was something I hated being accustomed to. We were so alike, but so different in this moment. Together but so far apart. Like January and December, one after the other, following like ducks but with the distance of a lifetime between.
“I was there, I saw you standing over me.”
“You pushed me away, you didn’t need me! You didn’t want me. I saw the look in your eyes. You wanted to leave. You were okay with leaving!” JJ shouted, his voice booming. I wondered if it had the power to carry over to the others and reveal our argument to everyone. We were too far away, and I was thankful for that because I knew whatever was coming wasn’t going to be kind. I could feel the bubbling pressure building in my chest like a hot rock sizzling my flesh from the inside out, and it wanted to sink through if I didn’t spit it out.
“Can you blame me?” I cried out, tears falling from my water line in a stream of pain that cut deeper than any blade had. “I was in pain, JJ! I was in so much fucking pain! I was bleeding out, in a place I don’t know, and I’ve never felt more alone! I couldn’t breathe, JJ. I couldn’t hear anything, I couldn’t see. Why is it selfish to not want to want to suffer, when I would wish you the same peace if it were to happen to you.”
JJ’s chin wrinkled in sadness, wetting his lips with his tongue and blinking back his own tears. I had so much to say and only so much air in my lungs. Only so much I could choke on before it all came out.
“The worst part is, I thought you were dead. If the damn blade didn’t kill me, you would have because I would rather die than have to live the next eternity without you by my side. I thought…I thought I failed you, and I couldn’t even look anyone in the eye because all I could see was your face in the water. Do you know how terrifying that was? To have your limp body weighing me down in the ocean? My best friend, my buddy, the only person I’d ever want to bother me like you do. Dead, all because of me? Do you know how guilty I’ve been? How guilty you’ve made me? I’m a god damn monster, and it’s a shame I turned out like I did because I had the potential to be something like you. But I can’t be because I’m a failure. Because even for even for a moment, I was thinking that maybe we would both be better off if I just gave up? If I let the ocean take us because god, if the light hasn’t been kind then the darkness can at least give me some damn peace!”
We both fell quiet now. My chest heaved with anxiety. My bones felt heavy, I felt heavy. I felt stupid, and I knew nothing I was saying made sense. It was all mindless rambling about everything I’d been mulling over for what felt like years.
“I love you. A-and I mean that in a way that I’ve never known before, and that fucking terrifies me. It terrifies me that theres always a chance that one day I won’t have the privilege to lay next to you, or-or to sit with you on the porch at John B’s and just talk about things that don’t matter like they do. Like, I love you, dude! And I can’t act like I don’t anymore. I thought…I thought that if I pushed it down, if I ignored it then maybe I could forget about it, but I can’t. Because the truth is I’ve always loved you. And I’m sorry if this means everything has been a lie, if I’m a fraud but I can’t pretend like I wouldn’t die for you, because I would and I tried.”
“I’m sorry, what?” JJ breathed, eyes wide and lips parted. He was shocked, and so was I. There was no going back, it was eat the words or let the words eat me. The truth was out, and I couldn’t deny it.
“I love you.”
Silence. Every moment led me here, to this island. Every time I grabbed onto the back of his jacket to steady myself, or the times I pawed at his chest to get him to stop trying to antagonize the Kooks. I followed him to the ends of the earth, literally. That was proof of my love, if not, it proved my devotion.
“I’m sorry.” JJ whispered back. His eyes shined with freckles of light from the waves and the stars and the sun. He couldn’t say it back, and I knew why because I know him, but we both knew what he meant to say with his apology.
“Me too.” I breathed out.
Often, our friends would poke fun that we couldn’t keep it under wraps around each other. That our lingering touches and fleeting glances were too romantic to be a friendly gesture. Maybe part of their teasing was right, but not completely.
Stepping forward in the sand, I felt the warmth of his arms pulling me into his chest, the strength and the kindness familiar, but the touches deeper and different. Where we once dappled with affection became a feeling that dominated now. We’d stood like this before, but with the confession hanging between our lips, everything was different.
His breathing, his gaze, the curve of his lips, the tucking of his nose against my cheek. We bumped noses blindly, his fingers dancing up my spine to the small of my back. I felt his eyelashes tickle my skin before I felt the rough-soft mixture of his lips pressing against mine.
It felt like something out of a movie, like fantasy. All those stupid stories I’d never believed where the lovers fit together perfectly made complete sense now as we molded together with a dance we knew all too well.
My hands reached for the back of his neck desperately, pawing at whatever curves I could get a grip on. It was slow, a steady pour of the heart into each other and completely intoxicating up until the moment we split apart for air.
“I should die more often if you’ll kiss me like that.” I joked, laughing into the crook of his neck.
“Nah, you don’t gotta do all that anymore.” He promised.
Affection was never our thing, love was foreign and forgiveness came hard. We held grudges and fought secrets for each other, and in the end, it’s what made us make perfect sense.
I look at JJ now in the dimming light above the ocean, and I no longer see the reflection of his empty gaze and heavy body. I see adoration, a softness that I’d always failed to recognize before.
“Jay?” I mumbled, chasing his lips again. He hummed against my skin, warm air tickling my body.
“Save it for the surf trip, okay?” I teased.
He growled playfully, squeezing the curves of my hips and nipping at my shoulder.
“You’re gonna be the death of me.”
I laughed.
“I’d save you.”
“Maybe.” JJ smiled, beaming with love.
After a moment of silence in each others arms, I felt his chest expand with a calm breath, and the stutter in mine silenced whatever thought he was about to blurt out impulsively.
“We should probably really consider getting passports.” I suggested softly, still longing for the surf trip with my best friend.
“Hell no, thats some kook bullshit” He argued softly, his smile still stretched against my skin.
“The kookiest.” I agreed.
I felt JJ pull away to breathe in the salty air. His eyes remained trained on mine, and the look gave me deja vu to a time not so long ago. A look we shared in the sweltering confinements of the cargo ship container. Only, now that I wasn’t blinded by a mixture of excitement for the treasure and the fear of failure, I could see the real gold in front of me. I could understand the gravity of his gaze.
A look that would fluster me for a life time.
#jj maybank x routledge!reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj mayback imagine#jj maybank fluff#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank x you#jjmaybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jjmaybankangst#jj maybank x pogue!reader#maybank#maybankxyou
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How can I loose weight?
I got you.
💗weightloss, diets and healthy habits💗
1. healthy habits
before we start, you want longterm process. So form habits. Become disciplined.
No crash-diet means no jojo-effect. No crash-diet means actual progress that doesnt go to waste.
2. diet
No matter how much you move, if your diet is not sitting right, you wont slim down. Over time you have to include healthy and nutritious options into your diet.
~small bowl of veggies, before breakfast
(such as cucumber, bell pepper, carotts, tomatos. That way your bloodsugar levels wont come crushing down midday)
~breakfast should include something that keeps you full. Dont skip it. People who eat breakfast tend to loose more weight and be slimmer.
(Porride, Eggs, Avocado, etc)
I usually include: Oatmeal, Chia sees, Berries and one Banana
~try not to snack, keep going for three meals a day
~eat whole foods, eat clean and make sure to dont neglect your protein-intake
(protein keeps us full and satisfied. Also, you want to loose fat, not muscle)
~cut out sodas and liquid calories!!!
such a waste. go for the light options with 0-2kcal. They taste the same, if not better.
Also, drink enough water.
3. workout
Normally, I work out every day in some way.
Cardio, strenght, pilates or just a walk outside.
Moving your body, keeping it toned and flexible, helps your mood, your health and your overall life.
On top, it burns calories.
Build some muscle and loose some fat. Thats how you get your dream body.
Here are my favorite channels, that I workout to daily:
MIZI (cardio mainly, full body workouts and burning calories)
Lidia Mera (pilates full body, toning and strenghtenig, legs, arms, abs)
Shirlyn Kim (specific parts, weightloss, strenghtening/toning,thigh gap)
Yuuka Sagawa (posture, arms and upper body)
Nina Dapper (arms, legs and abs)
4. Beauty Secrets
~ginger/curcuma shots
I tend to have ginger shots to boost my immune system and overall health. They are also very good for your skin and can give you a natural glow.
~probiotics
Your gut health is a game changer. You get less break outs and you can loose weight faster.
You can heal your gut through your diet and order some probiotics.
~castor oil
I live and breath castor oil.
Usually I apply it before bed on my lashes, hair and skin. It helps with hair growth, skin protection and hydration. Its also very good for debloating and detox, if you put it into your belly button.
~green tea
This magic tea can help you loose weigtt, reduce the risk of several diseases, such as diabetes or heart disease,
It reduces anxiety and lowers your cholesterol level.
#clean girl#im a star#wonyoungism#it girl#becoming that girl#that girl#pilates princess#pink pilates princess#pilates aesthetic#aesthtetic#matcha girl#green tea#diet#weight loss#weight goals#weight loss diet#weight management#healthy mindset#healthy habits#improving#best version of yourself#blogging#girlblog#how to be that girl#this is a girlblog#girlhood#wonyoung#healthcare#health & fitness#fitness
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In pain and heartache. In comfort and love.
A Jackson!Joel x f!reader oneshot
Summary: They were so desperate to hold each other after tasting life without one another.
Word Count: 2.5k
Tags: Jackson!joel, mentions of ellie and her AMAZING puns, Tommy providing comfort, pain, heartache, fear, anxiety, love, apologies, kissing, desperation. reader has she/her pronouns as i write in third person POV, reader has hair Joel can play with, reader has no other descriptions- photos for aesthetic purpose only.
Main masterlist
With pain and heartache, she watched him live without her.
Her eyes watched every move he made. Every step he took. Every smile he blessed those around him with.
It was an aching reminder of what could have been. The weight of their unresolved past seemed only visible to her. Every breath she took a battle in the heaviness in her chest.
She longed to reach out, to bridge that gap between them she did not realize had begun to form until it was too late.
But the fear of making what little they had left worse held her back. So, she stood in silent agony, her heart breaking as she watched Joel from across the bar.
Tommy had found his way to her, a smile of sympathy and drink in hand. His eyes filled with sadness and understanding, a silent acknowledgment to the suffering.
He knew, after all. Knew how prone his brother was at breaking those he cared for. Tommy had been broken too.
He held the drink out to her. “Thought you could use this,” he said softly. His voice was gentle like a comforting embrace.
Her eyes slowly pulled away from Joel as she accepted the drink. She watched the liquid within swirl around in the glass and she found herself hypnotized by its movement. The memory of Joel's drunken state when he pushed her away resurfaced, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. The sight of the drink in her hand now felt like a cruel reminder of his harsh rejection.
“He’ll come around, always does,” Tommy said, his hand gently placed on her shoulder.
The words were meant to comfort her, but they felt hollow and insincere. She knew the truth, deep down. This time it felt different, a finality to Joel’s actions.
His absence stung, like an open wound that wouldn’t heal. She forced a small nod, struggling to feign optimism. "He said he could never love me." she said, her voice barely a whisper.
Tommy sighed. His hand fell from her shoulder. He cast a glance at Joel, then back at her, conflict and concern etched across his face.
Her eyes trailed back to Joel, drawn by Tommy's gaze. There he was, laughing heartily at Ellie, her pun book in hand as she hunched over in laughter.
The sight of him happy and carefree, the sound of his laughter filling the air, made her heart ache. She tried to hold back the pain, to maintain her composure, but she couldn’t help but yearn for the past.
"He's scared of losing you," Tommy said.
The words hung heavy in the air, echoing the silent weight that rested on her shoulders. She knew he was right, that fear had been a driving force behind Joel's actions. But it didn't make it any easier to bear the hurt and disappointment his fear had caused. She nodded silently, her gaze fixed on Joel and Ellie, their joyful exchange a bittersweet contrast to her own internal turmoil.
Her eyes left Joel and locked onto Tommy's. "If he's so scared of losing me, then why did he push me away?" she asked, her voice quivered as tears threatened to escape her eyes. The desperation and confusion in her voice hung in the air, seeking an answer that she knew might never come.
Tommy's expression softened as he looked at her, compassion in his eyes.
"He's lost a lot, I suppose he'd rather push you away on his terms than let fate do it for him.”
The pain of Joel’s past losses echoed through her mind. She knew the weight of his pain had shaped him, had forced him to build walls around himself. He'd rather sever ties than risk the hurt of losing someone he let himself love, even if it meant losing them in the process.
Her eyes slowly returned to Joel and as their gazes locked, she saw the intensity in his eyes. It was clear he had been watching her, their gazes drawn to each other like magnets. There was something different in his eyes, a vulnerability that hadn’t been there before. She held his gaze for a moment, questioning the thoughts and emotions that flickered across his face.
Did he regret it? she thought, her mind filled with uncertainty. Did he miss her like she missed him?
Did he still lie in bed, reaching for her in the early hours of the morning? Like he had on those nights under the stars during their journey to Jackson.
Did he still clench his fists by his side or fidget with the watch on his wrist when he didn't know what to say? Did he miss her taking his hand in hers to distract him?
Did he wish that he loved her?
Or did he regret it all?
"It might not seem like it anymore, but he cares for you," Tommy said, his voice steady and reassuring. "I saw it when he carried you in, see it now." She turned to him, searching his face for any sign of deception, but there was none.
Only honesty and concern reflected on her.
Her gaze returned to Joel, drawn by his movement as he stood from the table.
His eyes were on her, only her.
“I can’t do this,” she murmured, her voice tinged with frustration as she handed the glass back to Tommy. Ignoring his call for her, she turned and walked out of the bar, desperately needing some fresh air and space to collect her thoughts.
The night air hit her as she stepped outside, cold and crisp, and it provided a respite from the oppressive atmosphere inside. She took a deep breath, attempting to calm her racing heart and tumultuous emotions.
Oh fuck, she thought. She fucking missed him.
And as if her heart seemed to call for him, she heard the door open once more. She turned to see Joel step out, the soft light of the moon bathing them in a silvery glow. It was as if the night itself tried to bring them together.
She looked at him from behind watery eyes, her emotions threatening to overflow. In turn, he watched her with eyes that mirrored her own pain, a reflection of the suffering that had come between them. They stood there under the night sky, silent and yet speaking volumes, each knowing the depth of the other's heartache.
Only difference was, he had caused all of this.
The unfairness of it all, the weight of the isolation and pain he had inflicted upon her, pressed down on her like his own heavy hand. He stood there, the cause of her heartache, while she endured his consequences alone. The anger and anguish in her heart flared, but it couldn't overpower the deep love and longing she still carried within her.
Joel didn't utter a word, and she didn't expect him to. Instead, he closed the space between them, pulling her into a tight embrace. His hand rested on her head, his touch gentle and comforting as he cradled her against his chest. His nose to her hair. Her hands trembled as they clutched onto the fabric of his jacket, holding him tightly, as if she was afraid he might disappear.
He pulled back slightly and lifted her face gently. His fingers traced her cheek as if his touch would break her. Their gaze met, and she saw the well of pain reflected in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice a hushed whisper that hung in the night like a fragile thread.
From anyone else, the apology may have felt hollow, meaningless. But from Joel's lips, it held a weight and significance that she understood. For an apology from him was rare and precious, like discovering clean, fresh water in the middle of a vast wasteland. The impact of his words, simple as they were, struck a chord deep within her heart. She could feel the significance of each syllable, was a lifeline in her sea of despair. A flicker of hope in the darkness that had enveloped her heart.
"I should never have told you to leave." He spoke again, his voice choked with emotion, his eyes never left hers.
The words hung heavily in the air, a confession of regret that cut deep. A single tear slipped down his face, a testament to the depth of his remorse. It was a crack in the stoic facade he often wore, a glimpse into the depths of his own hurt and guilt.
She had never seen him cry.
The tear, a crystalline droplet that glistened on his cheek.
"Why did you push me away, then? As if I never meant anything to you," she said, her heart shattered by his own hands.
Joel shut his eyes, his forehead rested against hers, his breath warm on her face. His other hand clenched tightly at the fabric of her waist, while the one holding her face remained gentle and tender, a stark contrast to his tense grip.
His voice trembled as he spoke, each word laden with truth. "I'm so scared I'll let you in, only for you to die on me," he confessed. "I can't lose you too."
His fingers trembled against her skin. She reached up and gently took his hand in hers, bringing it to rest over her heart. It beat a steady rhythm under his palm, a silent reassurance that she was there, alive and breathing.
“You are losing me Joel.”
Joel opened his eyes, so full of pain as he took in her words.
“I’m sorry.” His apology was a mere whisper against her lips. And then, a breathless moment.
His lips delicately touched hers, a whisper-soft kiss filled with tenderness and vulnerability, as fragile as a butterfly's wing. It was as if he were afraid to press too hard, to cause her any more harm than he already had.
As quick as it began, it was over. He pulled away, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before he tucked her head back into his chest. His fingers played with her hair as he looked up at the starry night sky and she could feel his body relaxing as he held her close.
"If the Lord gave me another chance, I would go back and make things right," he said as his heartbeat quickened beneath her ear. Her hand found its way to his chest as it laid over his heart soothingly, if only to calm the anxiety that had taken root within him.
"All I do is miss you. I can’t sleep, can’t eat. I was so stupid to push you away," he confessed, his chest shuddered with a soft sob. She pulled back slightly, only to witness a torrent of tears streaming down his face. The single tear had multiplied as it turned to a river of sorrow that spoke louder than any words could.
She gently wiped the tears from his face as her own fell silently in tandem.
His bottom lip trembled, and without a second thought, she did what came naturally to her. Her lips found his in a tender kiss and she could feel the tension in him slowly melt away as he released a shuddering breath.
His hand tangled in her hair and he pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss. He poured months of pent-up emotions into the kiss, a mix of regret, yearning, and a love so powerful it threatened to consume them both. Teeth scrapped against teeth, a primal collision of passion and desperation. It was a moment of intense connection, a release of the feelings that had been locked away for far too long.
Her back shoved against the hard surface of the wall. His hands roamed over her body in a desperate attempt to re-familiarize himself with every contour, every dip and curve. It was as if he was trying to memorize her all over again, as if he were afraid she would disappear from his grasp once more.
The pain she had carried with her began to fade away under the onslaught of his lips against hers, his touch hungry and urgent. Her hands clutched at his shirt, fingers clenching the fabric tightly as if she was afraid to let go. Afraid that if she did, he too would slip through her grasp once more.
Their mouths explored each other fiercely, the taste, the feel, the essence of each other an intoxicating drug that they had been deprived of for too long.
So desperate to hold each other after tasting life without one another.
The sound of the bar doors opening shattered the intimate bubble that had enveloped them. Noise spilled into the night air from inside as they hastily tore themselves away from each other. Their gazes locked with Tommy's as he stood frozen in the doorway, surprise etched across his face.
Tommy's eyes flicked down to where Joel's thigh had found its way between hers. "Jesus Christ, can you two make up somewhere else?" he teased, a smirk playing on his lips.
Joel's breath was ragged, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he chuckled, out of breath. His calloused hands held her face tenderly; the rough pads of his thumbs caressed her cheeks. He looked down at her with tenderness and amusement, a hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips as Tommy mumbled under his breath as he walked back inside.
“What do you say, come home?” he asked. A hint of hopefulness in his voice, tempered by the fear that shone in his eyes.
“Do you love me?” She asked.
“I want to try.” He said without a beat.
“I think I can live with that.”
The night was quiet, the silence only broken by the soft whisper of the wind as it blew in through the open window. The room was illuminated by the soft glow of the stars outside, their light danced through the gaps in the curtain that fluttered in the breeze.
Joel's face was buried in the crook of her neck, his body wrapped tightly around hers. He inhaled deeply; his breath warm against her neck. His arms encircled her, his grip firm yet gentle, as if he were afraid to let go. He was seeking comfort in her presence, finding solace in her warmth and familiarity.
She was too afraid to sleep. Worried that when she woke, he would be gone once more.
As the first light of day crept through the window, her eyes slowly opened and she expected to find an empty space beside her. However, his grip on her remained firm as he pulled her closer into his chest. His arms wrapped around her as he slept peacefully, forever reaching for her. A wave of relief washed over her, and a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
She made a silent vow to herself as she felt the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back. No matter how far he tried to push her away, no matter how much pain spilled from him and to her, she would never let go of him again. She would fight, crawl, and struggle with every ounce of her being to get back to him.
With comfort and love, she watched him sleep by her.
Notes
this was meant to be around 0.5k but it just kept going??? also Flora writes about kissing as someone who’s never been kissed so as always, take it with a grain of salt as i have no idea what i’m talking about lol - should honestly be a warning itself had a yucky day so here's some hurt & comfort also the starting line and ending line match and im proud of that lol.
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#the last of us#joel tlou#joel miller fanfiction#tommy miller#tlou tommy
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Hii, can I have a scenario with Law please !! I'd like something where reader is jealous.
Law and reader aren't together like they both have feelings but are completely oblivious. They're in a bar with the crew and everything, and reader and Law are talking, a woman starts flirting with him and reader (a bit drunk) gets a bit possessive
DESCRIPTION: You both have feelings for each other but you need jealousy and liquid courage to finally let it show
WARNINGS: depictions of alcohol use
CHARACTERS: Law
WORDS: 1,386
A/N: Thank you for the request! Hope you like what I came up with for this one
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
MASTERLIST
———————
It wasn’t often the entire crew of the Polar Tang got the chance to enjoy some proper down time and unwind in a bar. You relished these moments, when there was no fights or pressing matters to deal with and you could all just enjoy the adventure you were all on. You basked in the laughter and conversation with your crew as you all sat at table as the drinks flowed as easily. Eventually most of the crew began to scatter. Whether it was breaking into their own little clusters of conversation, finding the dance floor to enjoy, potential love-interests for the night to pursue, and alcohol infused antics to take part in. Which just left you and Law sitting at the original table in deep conversation and neither of you were complaining on that part.
Both of you had feelings for the other but had yet to act on any impulses and any moment that could have potentially led to more. For you both, neither of you wanted to risk the rejection in case you were reading the situation wrong, and as a result ruin what you both already had. So you both lived in blissful delusion that everything was fine and that nothing would progress between you beyond the close friendship you could both enjoy. After finishing your drink you got up, offering to get another for your Captain too. You stood by the bar and waited to be served, content to wait your turn in the busy building.
“Soooo, will tonight be the night you finally confess to our Captain?” You rolled your eyes at Sachi’s playful tone coming from your side. You didn’t even humour your crewmember by giving a verbal response and instead continued to stare ahead while waiting for one of the bartenders to make their way towards you. Your lack of an answer only spurred Sachi on and he grinned while lightly poking your arm. “Oh c’mon you know it’s eating you up. I mean it’s not like he’d reject you. He’s not that stupid.” Heavily you sighed, it wasn’t Law’s intelligence that was the issue here. You had your reasons for not making a move or even entertaining the thought of telling Law. Firmly you kept your mouth shut. “You know if you don’t let him know he’ll end up getting with someone else.”
“Sachi, the Captain and I aren’t an item. I don’t own him and he’s never made a move either. He can ‘get with’ anyone he wants.” You finally spoke, turning to lean against the bar and look at Sachi with a frown. You really didn’t get why he was being so pushy about the subject but after seeing the flush against his cheeks and large drink in his hand you decided to put it down to the alcohol in his system making him like this. You cast a glance around the bar to see the rest of your crew were letting themselves truly enjoy the evening and let the drink make them more relaxed and at ease. A night without having to constantly worry about the readings of the sub and having to do set rotations and watches was a godsend and one that everyone knew to make the most of.
Finally you let your sight fall back to the table you and Law had been sitting at and your whole body tensed to see your seat was now filled by a woman who had her sights firmly set on your Captain. Worse still it seemed he was enjoying her presence, the fact that he hadn’t told her to get lost and instead seemed to be answering whatever she was saying was proof of that. You tried to bite back the bitter taste climbing your throat and forced your expression to remain as calm as it could even though you wanted nothing more than to glare at the scene. Like you’d said to Sachi, Law could have whoever he wanted. You didn’t own him. And yet your fingers flexed and tightly fisted against the edge of the bar’s countertop. “Hmmm she’s cute. If you want to give the Captain some privacy you can join us?”
Law didn’t know what he could say to this woman to give her the hint that he wasn’t interested. He couldn’t outright say what he wanted to to this girl, with everyone enjoying their night of freedom the last thing he wanted was to bring trouble to their door. So he just had to give short, basic answers to his unwanted acquaintance while he waited for you. You were the only person Law wanted to spend time with, no one else made him feel the way he did. Thankfully he felt your familiar presence approach behind him and his hand instinctively lifted to take the beer you reached out to him without needing to turn and look. “Thanks, I’ll get the next round.” He told you and then blinked in confusion when you remained standing behind him.
“Don’t worry about it.” You said, taking a slow sip of your drink and maintaining eye-contact with the woman still in your seat. It brought you swift satisfaction to see the nervousness in her eyes and watch her adjust her position. “Who’s your friend?” You asked while letting your free arm drape over your Captain’s shoulder, your fingers almost grazing against his bicep. Law’s eyes flickered down to your hand and said nothing. You were probably only doing it because of the fact you were still standing and your balance would be slightly skewed from your alcohol intake. The woman opposite you both tried to introduce herself to you but quickly forgot her name as soon as it was out of her mouth.
“Are you just going to keep standing there?” She snapped, suddenly becoming defensive to your presence that she clearly didn’t want interfering with her hopes at getting to know Law better and you smirked at her. “You’re in my seat.” You answered simply with a smile, shifting your feet and making it so your chest was pressing a little closer against Law’s back.
Law watched the woman splutter and look around the empty seats around them. “Well sit somewhere else!” She protested in annoyance, unable to really cause a fuss because you weren’t actually doing anything to intimidate or threaten her. Last time you’d checked standing wasn’t a crime and she knew that. At her suggestion you pouted, pretending to think about sitting somewhere else. Truth be told you had a moment of going to a different table when you’d first caught sight of her with Law but your jealousy and sudden spark of possessiveness only got worse and her whining only provoked you even more. “There’s tons of places for you to sit, just pick somewhere else. It’s really off-putting if you keep standing there.”
“Oh I’m so sorry! The last thing I want is to be off-putting!” You gasped in false concern before smirking as you stepped around Law and perched yourself with ease on his lap. “There we go, how’s that?” You asked sweetly while trying to ignore how rapidly your heart was beating. You’d been so focused on getting under this woman’s skin to get her to leave that you didn’t stop to think about what you were doing but it was far too late to go back. That was proven even more when Law’s arm secured it around your waist, effectively keeping you seated and his chest firmly against your back. “So, are you finally going to leave us alone now?” Law asked frowning at the woman who floundered and finally got to her feet storming off to find someone else to annoy.
You waited a moment to be sure she’d left and prepared to stand only to freeze when Law’s fingers flexed against you in a silent sign for you to stay. Clearing your throat you looked up at him, questioning him and afraid to even speak. Law smirked down at you, deciding that maybe acting on impulse and having liquid courage wouldn’t be such a bad thing especially if it led to more of these kinds of moments with you. “You can’t get up now, I wouldn’t want to risk someone else coming by and taking your seat.”
#one piece#one piece fic#one piece imagines#one piece x you#one piece x reader#law x reader#law x you#trafalgar d law x reader#trafalgar law#trafalgar law x reader#one piece law#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar one piece
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tony stark doesn't die.
he burns, from the inside out. the infinity stones are too much for a regular human to handle, and the iron man suit could only do so much. so he burns.
human inventions aren't adequate enough to combat cosmic damages. super soldier blood transfusions do nothing. gamma infused hulk blood also has no effect. extremis is a lost cause.
the entire right side of his body barely functions anymore. and his face. oh god, his face. it's so damaged, so scarred, tony can barely look himself in the mirror anymore, let alone expect others to look at him without cringing away.
so he hides.
he builds new armor. gone are the flashy colors. no more red and gold. just plain old gunmetal grey. gone are the nanobots. no more skin-hugging technology. just cold hard planes of metal. back to unflinching, terror-inducing steel, like the suit he wore when he flew out of that cave over a decade ago.
he hardly ever takes it off. it's the only way he can get his body to just move. it's life support. it's a high-tech prosthesis.
but that's not enough.
he's just so ashamed. sure, he's saved the world. but while everyone else lives on, he's barely surviving. so he covers himself up the best he can. with the armor. then with a cloak, so he looks a little softer, a little more inviting. not that it matters, when he hardly lets anyone see him anymore.
he stops wearing red. he can't even look at that color anymore, when all it does is remind him of the day he couldn't just die.
what's the opposite of red?
he wears green instead.
people looked at iron man and saw hope.
now people look at anthony stark and see doom.
------
steve rogers doesn't die.
he lives a happy life, with the one who got away, and returns to his timeline knowing that he's fulfilled his lifelong dream and he can rest well knowing what it's like to grow old with the love of his life.
except that wasn't actually his dream.
he goes back to the future and finds out the man he's in love with is still alive, and if he plays his cards right, steve might just get to spend the rest of his life with tony.
but steve is old. and he's dying. the rest of his life could only last so long.
and tony doesn't even want to see him. tony doesn't want to see anyone.
so steve begs. he sends messages through friday. notes under the door. anything he can think of, he tries.
"please, give us a chance."
it takes longer than steve has time for, but he finally wears tony down. when tony opens the doors to the lab for steve, he hands over three vials filled with molten orange liquid.
"extremis. modified and enhanced trifold for a super soldier. it's a risk, but if it works, you'll have at least another fifty years left."
steve takes the risk.
his muscles come back. his wrinkles disappear. his hair darkens from white to gold.
steve picks up tony, armor and cloak and all, and spins him around in joy. he's so happy, he lights up from within.
literally, he lights up. his skin glows orange. he's dangerously hot to the touch. he breathes, and smoke escapes his mouth.
but becoming a human torch is a small price to pay if it means he gets to be with tony.
#yes i did just turn stevetony into doomjohnny without it being total crack you're welcome#this is appropriate because wbk steve has always held a torch for tony#stevetony#stony#gonna tag this as#anthony von doom and fireboy steve#kay writes things
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On the edge
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader
Summary: Joel loves edging you. That's about it. 😅
Warnings: smut, edging, praise kink, unprotected p in v, squirting, mentions of creampie, fluff
The twitching of your legs and your rapid breathing betrays you every time. Joel smirks down at you, withdrawing from your welcoming heat, a whine falling from your lips.
"Joel, please," you try but to no avail.
This has been the fourth or fifth time he snatched your orgasm from you. Edging has been Joel's new hobby, especially within the safe walls of your new home in Jackson. Being out their with them meant keeping any satisfaction at bay or rushing things. Both of you weren't opposed to a quickie, oftentimes letting out some adrenaline and steam by Joel fucking you hard and fast against an abandoned building or a tree. But savoring each other's touches, the feeling of taking your time, drawing out all the little intimacies, it created a whole new level of closeness between you both.
"Doin' so good f'me, baby. Y'know how intense you come when I let you work for it, don't you?"
He smirks down at you, seemingly at ease despite his hard cock travelling through your wet folds, making you hiss from the pleasure.
"Yeah, shit. But...p-please make me come. Can't...can't take much more."
Your whining drives him insane, your plea not quite falling on deaf ears, but he shakes his head non the less.
"I know, baby, I know. Jus' a bit more."
Eyes closed tightly at his words, you feel him enter you again. The squelching sound of your pussy taking him in would have made you feel embarrassed with any other man, but it is him, Joel, there's not much you're embarrassed about with him. Your safe space, your haven, the reason you are still alive.
Joel drives his hips forward purposfully, the head of his cock driving into the spot that makes your whole body go wild. His strokes are pecise but gentle, prodding to edge you further. How he doesn't just spill into your tight pussy is a miracle for you.
"Fuck, like that, baby, like that," he moans above you, diving down to kiss your lips messily.
He feels you shaking again, your nails biting into the skin of his back, leaving red marks for sure.
"J-Joel," you moan, sweat coating your skin, his also, the little pearls adorning both of your bodies, glittering in the last rays of sunlight shining through the half-closed curtains.
"Y'want to come?" he asks, eyes piercing yours with an all-consuming intensity.
"Y-yes...god Joel, please, p-please let me come."
Finally, finally he seems to relent and fucks harder into you, his hands anchored to your hips, gripping your flesh without mercy. Harder, harder, harder, until one of his hands snatches between your bodies, fingers pinching your clit almost a bit too roughly, though you love it like this, this little bit of pain with your pleasure.
Your orgasm hits you with double the speed and intensity as usual. Moaning and shaking around him, you gush around his cock, so much so he has to pull out. His fingers don't leave your clit when he enters you again, roughly fucking into you just to pull out again before another gush of liquid wets his thighs and the bed.
"Fuck, baby, so good, doin' so good," he praises.
Through the haze of it all you don't hear his words, just feel your body releasing, pulling you into the bliss head first.
Joel thrusts into you a final time, chasing his own release with urgency. You have half a mind to plead him to come inside, but you know Joel better than that, he isn't one to risk it.
Groaning deeply, he pulls out, painting your lower belly and mound with his seed. For a fleeting moment you picture the feeling of him trickling down your thighs, seeping out of you, the final claim, and you feel ashamed for wanting to be so reckless. The warmth of his hands surrounding your face pulls you back into reality. He looks down at you amused, hair dissheveled, eyes hooded. You can count the lines on his forehead, the wrinkles around his eyes. Years of tiresome work, of moral voids, of fear, anger and loss. Though you are here with him, surrounded by his smell, his arms, his love.
"Everythin' ok?" he asks out of breath.
"Yeah, just...exhausted," you giggle, tired to the bone.
He kisses the tip of your nose before he plops down next to you on the bed, pulling you into his still heaving chest.
"And the mess I've made?" you want to know, eyes heavy.
"I like the mess, baby. Let's clean up later," Joel responds, kissing the crown of your head.
Snorting amused and also a bit disgusted, you let him cuddle you to him tightly. His strong arms, the warmth of his body, the musky smell of sex, sweat and Joel is everything you need, everything you wished for in this harsh and unforgiving world.
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#pedro pascal#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic
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The Rise of DeFi: Revolutionizing the Financial Landscape
Decentralized Finance (DeFi) has emerged as one of the most transformative sectors within the cryptocurrency industry. By leveraging blockchain technology, DeFi aims to recreate and improve upon traditional financial systems, offering a more inclusive, transparent, and efficient financial ecosystem. This article explores the fundamental aspects of DeFi, its key components, benefits, challenges, and notable projects, including a brief mention of Sexy Meme Coin.
What is DeFi?
DeFi stands for Decentralized Finance, a movement that utilizes blockchain technology to build an open and permissionless financial system. Unlike traditional financial systems that rely on centralized intermediaries like banks and brokerages, DeFi operates on decentralized networks, allowing users to interact directly with financial services. This decentralization is achieved through smart contracts, which are self-executing contracts with the terms of the agreement directly written into code.
Key Components of DeFi
Decentralized Exchanges (DEXs): DEXs allow users to trade cryptocurrencies directly with one another without the need for a central authority. Platforms like Uniswap, SushiSwap, and PancakeSwap have gained popularity for their ability to provide liquidity and facilitate peer-to-peer trading.
Lending and Borrowing Platforms: DeFi lending platforms like Aave, Compound, and MakerDAO enable users to lend their assets to earn interest or borrow assets by providing collateral. These platforms use smart contracts to automate the lending process, ensuring transparency and efficiency.
Stablecoins: Stablecoins are cryptocurrencies pegged to stable assets like fiat currencies to reduce volatility. They are crucial for DeFi as they provide a stable medium of exchange and store of value. Popular stablecoins include Tether (USDT), USD Coin (USDC), and Dai (DAI).
Yield Farming and Liquidity Mining: Yield farming involves providing liquidity to DeFi protocols in exchange for rewards, often in the form of additional tokens. Liquidity mining is a similar concept where users earn rewards for providing liquidity to specific pools. These practices incentivize participation and enhance liquidity within the DeFi ecosystem.
Insurance Protocols: DeFi insurance protocols like Nexus Mutual and Cover Protocol offer coverage against risks such as smart contract failures and hacks. These platforms aim to provide users with security and peace of mind when engaging with DeFi services.
Benefits of DeFi
Financial Inclusion: DeFi opens up access to financial services for individuals who are unbanked or underbanked, particularly in regions with limited access to traditional banking infrastructure. Anyone with an internet connection can participate in DeFi, democratizing access to financial services.
Transparency and Trust: DeFi operates on public blockchains, providing transparency for all transactions. This transparency reduces the need for trust in intermediaries and allows users to verify and audit transactions independently.
Efficiency and Speed: DeFi eliminates the need for intermediaries, reducing costs and increasing the speed of transactions. Smart contracts automate processes that would typically require manual intervention, enhancing efficiency.
Innovation and Flexibility: The open-source nature of DeFi allows developers to innovate and build new financial products and services. This continuous innovation leads to the creation of diverse and flexible financial instruments.
Challenges Facing DeFi
Security Risks: DeFi platforms are susceptible to hacks, bugs, and vulnerabilities in smart contracts. High-profile incidents, such as the DAO hack and the recent exploits on various DeFi platforms, highlight the need for robust security measures.
Regulatory Uncertainty: The regulatory environment for DeFi is still evolving, with governments and regulators grappling with how to address the unique challenges posed by decentralized financial systems. This uncertainty can impact the growth and adoption of DeFi.
Scalability: DeFi platforms often face scalability issues, particularly on congested blockchain networks like Ethereum. High gas fees and slow transaction times can hinder the user experience and limit the scalability of DeFi applications.
Complexity and Usability: DeFi platforms can be complex and challenging for newcomers to navigate. Improving user interfaces and providing educational resources are crucial for broader adoption.
Notable DeFi Projects
Uniswap (UNI): Uniswap is a leading decentralized exchange that allows users to trade ERC-20 tokens directly from their wallets. Its automated market maker (AMM) model has revolutionized the way liquidity is provided and traded in the DeFi space.
Aave (AAVE): Aave is a decentralized lending and borrowing platform that offers unique features such as flash loans and rate switching. It has become one of the largest and most innovative DeFi protocols.
MakerDAO (MKR): MakerDAO is the protocol behind the Dai stablecoin, a decentralized stablecoin pegged to the US dollar. MakerDAO allows users to create Dai by collateralizing their assets, providing stability and liquidity to the DeFi ecosystem.
Compound (COMP): Compound is another leading DeFi lending platform that enables users to earn interest on their cryptocurrencies or borrow assets against collateral. Its governance token, COMP, allows users to participate in protocol governance.
Sexy Meme Coin (SXYM): While primarily known as a meme coin, Sexy Meme Coin has integrated DeFi features, including a decentralized marketplace for buying, selling, and trading memes as NFTs. This unique blend of humor and finance adds a distinct flavor to the DeFi landscape. Learn more about Sexy Meme Coin at Sexy Meme Coin.
The Future of DeFi
The future of DeFi looks promising, with continuous innovation and growing adoption. As blockchain technology advances and scalability solutions are implemented, DeFi has the potential to disrupt traditional financial systems further. Regulatory clarity and improved security measures will be crucial for the sustainable growth of the DeFi ecosystem.
DeFi is likely to continue attracting attention from both retail and institutional investors, driving further development and integration of decentralized financial services. The flexibility and inclusivity offered by DeFi make it a compelling alternative to traditional finance, paving the way for a more open and accessible financial future.
Conclusion
Decentralized Finance (DeFi) represents a significant shift in the financial landscape, leveraging blockchain technology to create a more inclusive, transparent, and efficient financial system. Despite the challenges, the benefits of DeFi and its continuous innovation make it a transformative force in the world of finance. Notable projects like Uniswap, Aave, and MakerDAO, along with unique contributions from meme coins like Sexy Meme Coin, demonstrate the diverse and dynamic nature of the DeFi ecosystem.
For those interested in exploring the playful and innovative side of DeFi, Sexy Meme Coin offers a unique and entertaining platform. Visit Sexy Meme Coin to learn more and join the community.
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masterlist
cherry pt. 1 🍒
gif by @taiturner
touch-starved!fem!reader x touch-starved, shy daryl dixon. this is pure tooth-rotting fluff with protective daryl, set somewhere in alexandria. the reader is a medic, this is a sweet build-up to smut which is going to be in part 2.
3.5k words, suitable for everyone. reader is referred to as "she", written in 3rd person, mostly daryl's pov, all lowercase. title from the lana song cherry because lana + norman = *author barks incoherently and descends into insanity*
her knee landed between his legs with a soft thud. the meat of his thigh surrounded by her legs as he sat under the yellow overhead lamp, daryl's chest rose and fell steadily, caramel skin marred by a deep red welt.
he stunk like bloody sweat, moist soil and gunpowder and lead.
"I'll inject a local," she mumbled, tapping on the glass vial before inserting the syringe and filling it up with a clear liquid, "you gonna need some twenty stitches, boyo."
"you dun' hafta," he, nonetheless, winced; the welt went across his chest, over his pectoral and almost to his collarbone. all and all, far from the worst he's had.
painkillers were a luxury, better spent on someone else, someone not like him. but he knew better than to argue with a medic (or someone filling the position of one, for that matter).
the woman's scent enveloped his senses in an opaque fog of sweet summer sweat over sharp, cheap laundry powder. something bitter, like rosemary and thyme, something sweet, like cherries and wine.
daryl's eyelashes fluttered as the needle pierced his skin: once, twice, five times, all around the jagged edges of the torn wound. the breath he was holding in left his mouth in a humid huff.
her hands, so gentle, prodded at the edges of his hurt until he could answer her question of 'feel anything?' negative, honestly. briefly, the acrid stench of rubbing alcohol overshadowed everything else as she sterilized everything, the tools and him, to the best of her ability.
he opened his eyes.
"now," she lifted her clever eyes, surveying the scene, "I'm gonna perch myself here," she moved that much closer, one knee between his legs, the other on the side of his leg; hovering over the same leg, facing his reclined torso, "you tell me if you're uncomfortable. that's the only light here, I don't mean to invade your personal space like that."
he could have laughed, if not for the risk of disrupting her careful stitching of his flesh.
"don'tcha worry 'bout it, pretty girl," his voice gravelly low, daryl did his best to stay still.
she chuckled softly, "bet you say that to anyone who can stitch you up in an even line."
"no," he scoffed, surprising himself, "jus' you. rick's hardly a pretty girl."
her hands stilled, eyes momentarily darting to his. the yellow light reflected in them, giving her pupils a red-hot gleam, as if devil himself had taken a sharp turn and went to seek refuge inside her instead of coming down to georgia.
he studied it, studied his own blurry, open-mouthed, panting reflection in the pupils of the woman currently perched atop his lap. then the realisation hit him, like a derailed runaway train, and he immediately withdrew to count the cracks in the ceiling.
she cleared her throat, resuming the rhythmical push and pull of the needle.
"didn't know rick could do that."
daryl attempted to shrug - stopping it before the motion reached his shoulders - and grunted instead.
she continued to stitch, the suddenly pregnant silence punctuated by the crinkling of a wrapper. an extra large, sterile bandaid was placed over the wound after she applied something green and foul-smelling atop the now-closed gash; his grunted query was met with a curt,
"antiseptic."
and he was let go with instructions to return the next day for a dressing change.
he lied to himself. he waited until it was dark to show up the next day, well into the summer night, just to be placed in the same position - under the lone hanging lamp, under her.
cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme, complimented by a trail of herbal tea. she smelled like peaches, too, this time. or, perhaps, it were the blooming trees outside her window that snuck their sweet aroma indoors.
"healing nicely," she remarked off-handedly, seemingly oblivious to the rising level of his tension and his inner turmoil. "the pain not too bad? you seem grumpy. grumpier than usual."
this time, he waited until she removed herself from his form to bark a terse laugh.
"no, pretty girl," he eyed her in the dusky, dusty room and received a crooked smile for his troubles, "long day 'is all."
"tell me about it," she huffed, shoulders sagging a bit more than he would have liked.
"who's the prick bothering ya?" he couldn't help it, his mind immediately went... places. surely, he wasn't the only one who noticed her pretty.
"no-one but my own damn brain," she scoffed, seemingly at herself, "and maybe the dick from number 17. it's like he's doing it on purpose."
"doin' what now?" daryl's voice dropped, his eyes squinted. his palm migrated to the handle of his knife, a gesture utterly subconscious.
"gettin' injured," she grumbled, no real heat behind her words, "got shot with a dart last week, sprained his ankle on a routine perimeter check today. how did that man serve 6 years in the army is beyond me."
daryl's head tilted as his chest tensed, heart thudded uncomfortably against his ribs.
"isn't carol taking care of all the broken bones?" he asked, tone laced with suspicion.
she turned to face him; he felt, more than saw, the annoyed roll of her eyes.
"he demands a real doctor," the woman shook off the wrapper before leaning back into him and placing it over his wound in one swift, irritated gesture, "how come nobody's told him I'm just a good faker? everyone knows by this point. all he does is waste resources-"
"woah, woah," daryl's voice rose briefly as he attempted to halt the incoming ramble. not that he didn't want to hear what she had to say, it was just unusual to see the quiet woman so... not herself.
"sorry," she shot immediately, looking away, "he just gives me the creeps. I know it's mean but-"
"no," daryl shook his head immediately, "if he's botherin' you, he's botherin' you and he needa back off."
she chuckled as she leaned back to observe the results of her work. her eyes were tired and a little ashamed. "say whatchu want but you southern fellas are real gentlemen," her smile was soft.
nobody has ever spoken to him like that, much less referred to him as a gentleman. through the momentary awe, daryl let the corners of his lips tilt up in a closed-lipped, shy smile.
he didn't return the next day, and the day after, having been deemed healthy enough by rick to be sent off to hunt some game - all activities classified as "takin' it easy" by the community leader. people needed food, growing kids needed the protein.
the gash on his chest bled a little, not much, and the scab that formed afterwards looked proper, thick and healthy.
as he reached the gates upon his return, he could make out some shouting just on the border of the little gated town. a few voices did their best to be heard, one right over the other.
"whazzat?" he quizzed the guard.
"lil doctor lady," the guard responded, frowning, squinting into the distance, "and big john, arguin' over something. dunno what. rick's there too."
daryl did not like the sound of that. he didn't like that at all. he dumped the three deer right there on the muddy ground as soon as he crossed the threshold of the safe zone, powerwalking towards the arguing trio.
"... 'm tellin' ya, rick, she's makin' shit up! I risk my life every day goin' out and patrollin', getting the damn supplies so she could patch me up like she's s'posed to!" big john, red in the face and fists clenched, stood looming over rick as he defended himself to the unimpressed sheriff, "'s'not like I broke my damn arm on purpose!"
immediately, daryl's bullshit meter went off as alarms blared in his head at full volume. big john's words were a little too loud, a little too passionate.
rick's eyes darted towards daryl's rapidly approaching form; that was all he needed to know about the situation.
"if that were true, you'd have no problem with carol attending to you, man," for the time being, rick successfully played the good cop.
"she's not even a real doctor!"
"neither am I!" the woman finally spoke up, shooting a glance at daryl, too, as her shoulders dropped slightly.
"hey, what's your fuckin' problem?" daryl finally stomped close enough for big john to jump at his words.
"none of your damn business," he shot back immediately, switching to stare down at the woman. it wasn't hard for him to make her shrink: his name was big john for a reason.
"don't bother tha nice lady," daryl scoffed, straightening up, "least you want a fuckin' knuckle sandwich. first and final warning."
"oh, fuck you man," big john turned to daryl, taking a step towards the archer, chest puffing out with the force of his rage. his left hand was in a makeshift cast; the right one rose, rapidly flying, aimed at daryl's face.
it didn't take the archer much effort to side-step the large man. he was immediately responding with a punch of his own.
big john staggered, taking a couple of unsteady steps back; within the next second, another punch connected with his face, sending blood and snot flying as he fell on the ground noisily.
"that's enough!" rick yelled, pulling on daryl's shoulder.
for the time being, the archer was content to let himself be steered away from the fight.
somewhere behind him, a feminine voice mumbled something less-than-polite, sighing, as she joined rick in pulling him away from big john.
"you stay away from her, dipshit!" daryl added hotly, "fuckin' weirdo."
"c'mon big guy," she cooed softly, nodding to rick as she steered him towards her house, "let's get you cleaned up."
he let her drag him indoors, towards the kitchen sink where the smell of herbs was the most potent. throughout the dirt and grime that always followed his hunts, it was a welcome respite. earthy and natural in the best, the most tender of ways.
the woman checked his knuckles, tugging on his big, meaty hand to place it under a stream of cold tap water; his skin was clear, once the grime and blood and dirt was washed off. a coupla punches was nothing, his knuckles too seasoned to sustain an injury from something as simple as a fistfight.
in broad daylight, there was no need for her to perch atop him to check the wound on his chest.
daryl swallowed, following her hands with his eyes. in her pristine, clean kitchen, he'd never felt more out of place as she moved aside the neck of his sweat-stained shirt and touched the soft skin of her fingertips to the scab, checking for infection.
the corners of her mouth finally, finally tilted up. an angry, upset expression had no place on her face; daryl could feel himself deflate as the cloud over the head of the little doctor lady finally, finally dissipated.
"you didn't even tear the stitches, I'm impressed," she complimented him softly, brushing the shirt collar back in place and smoothing it out with her palm, "they're dissolvable, luckily. go wash up and come back, I'll put some antibiotic ointment on it just in case. okay?"
her touch burned, but it was a sweet sort of fire. the kind that remained in his mouth after a particularly delicious batch of spicy wings, blooming as he took a deep breath.
he wanted to chase it with his tongue.
his nostrils flared as he exhaled.
"okay, dar?"
she had a nickname for him. she stared at him with those round, trusting eyes, not knowing that in truth, he was no better than big john.
daryl's cheeks flamed.
"okay," he mumbled, unable to refuse her anything when her eyes.., "dun look at me like dat."
"like what?" she frowned again and oh no, this was so much worse than the earnest concern written plain as day on her face just seconds ago.
his heart hammered in his chest. his fingers twitched. he swallowed the lump in his throat, shuffled his feet.
"cya," finally, his legs cooperated! he ran out of the house like the coward that he was.
he didn't come back as she'd requested. he couldn't. instead, he stubbornly stood under an ice cold stream of water, as long as could manage - and it did exactly nada for his racing thoughts or his traitorous body.
the soap carol had made smelled like herbs.
it smelled like the kitchen where tender fingers prodded at his skin, where soft hair briefly brushed his cheek, where the overhead lamp illuminated a halo around the head of the woman that found a home inside his head on most nights.
dusk fell over the settlement as a knock disturbed the miniscule amount of peace he'd managed to find for himself in the darkness of the basement.
"daryl?" rick's voice yelled, "I gotta favour to ask!"
he was there in an instant. "whassup?"
"the doctor lady. big john's bin runnin' his mouth since dinner, ion like it. I think he's gonna be up to no good."
what daryl liked about rick was his straightforwardness and common sense. such concern had place to be. daryl nodded, walking inside to put on a clean shirt and pick up his crossbow.
"I appreciate it," rick clapped him on the shoulder, "I'd stick around myself but judy is teething and michonne has been up for three nights already, m'afraid she's gonna..."
"no probl'm, rick, ah get it," daryl cut off the rambling man, "you go take care of your baby girl."
as daryl made way to the woman's house, his mind switched to defense mode effortlessly. he knew just the perfect spot to perch himself in, away from prying eyes and well within the observation range of the entries to her house. it wasn't the most comfortable of spots but summer nights were warm and the birdsong from the trees provided a childhood sort of comfort under the clear, dark skies.
as he prepared to settle in, the main door to her house cracked open.
she wore short, thin cotton shorts and a worn out t-shirt and nothing else, a steaming cup of tea clutched securely between her palms. her eyes immediately landed on his dark figure attempting to blend into the dusky underbrush.
"I thought you'd be a no-show," she remarked, a playful tone colouring her voice.
daryl had enough conscience to look sheepish. "uhh," he replied, eloquently, taking a hesitant step towards her house. the light breeze blew the hot fumes of her tea right into his nose, momentarily clouding his judgement. he barely could tear his eyes away from the soft, unblemished skin of her legs.
"c'mon," she waved him in, and he followed, obedient, quiet, like a puppy. she made a brief stop at the stove before pushing a cup into his hands, "I made some tea. not terribly sweet for you, I hope. you seem like a black coffee kinda guy."
the upbeat, companionable chatter sent daryl's head reeling. it's like she was completely oblivious to his clumsiness, to his bluntness, to the awkwardness that seemed to take deep root in his bones whenever he was in her presence.
he took a sip, a courtesy, as she made him sit in that recliner chair again, her body warm and comfortable above him. isn't that what you wanted, moron? his head screamed at him, the annoying voice eerily similar to his late brother's.
"it's okay to let me know you're uncomfortable," she spoke quietly as she moved aside the collar of his shirt once more.
he shivered, it's not like he could help himself. "wha?"
"not everyone likes to be... touched," she briefly looked up, then back again as she rubbed the salve around his scabs, sharp chemicals and plastic disturbing the peaceful aroma of her herbal tea, "my ma used to yell at me to, like... stop hugging random people. sometimes I forget that not everyone is perfectly fine with jus' bein' groped."
"hmm," he managed, struggling not to sound like all of his christmases just had arrived at once. she wanted to touch him. well, not just him-
"these days, I'm not particularly keen on that either, but eventually, the touch starvation catches up to me. I'm just glad that, like, carol and rosita don't freak out or anything, when I play octopus with 'em."
"it's... okay," he had to drink to clear his throat, inhale to clear his mind. "ion mind, pretty girl," daryl tried for a smile and was sure it came more like a grimace. he desperately needed practice in that department.
she chuckled, a dulcet little noise, before her eyes shot up to his. whatever she was looking for, she found it; her hands, done with healing his external wounds, stroked slowly over his shoulders, mapping the broad, muscular expanse of them in one fluid motion. the tips of his hair tickled the tops of her palms.
with only a thin cotton barrier separating daryl's skin from hers, it was as close to heaven as he will ever allowed to be. the cup in his hand scalded his rough palms, hot ceramic burning through the callouses: it was like an afterthought of pain and nothing more.
her fingers connected behind his neck, the pads rubbing over the tense muscle there. the groan left his mouth unnoticed by him, until he could feel the smile on her face bloom just like the flowers outside her window.
"you like that?"
"mmm," he managed, weakly. something inside of him was crumbling. maybe it was the tea that had filled his veins with melted sugar and liquified the strong resolve to not let someone like her be tainted by someone like him.
she kept on kneading his neck and shoulders, like a damn cat working graveyard shift at the biscuit cookie factory.
daryl's deep inhale moved his whole body.
she staggered, brief and sweet, tilting heavily into him to keep up her balance and stop herself from falling over. graceful, she was not.
he was met with a parted mouth, so sweet and red and plump, like ripe cherries; right over his nose, just out of reach, sinful and tantalising in it's own right. the pink, moist meat of her tongue was tucked into the corner of it as her eyes narrowed, something between relief and concentration.
seeing him look, the mouth stretched into a smile, making it that much sweeter. she was looking at him, again, like- like that.
her hands faltered, she swayed in place; daryl's instincts got the better of him and he secured her, one hand holding her body by the hip to steady the sudden bout of clumsiness.
"m'sorry, imma klutz," she looked away sheepishly.
he squeezed her hip on response, letting her know it was okay. and it really was more than that: much to his wide-eyed wonder. he felt like he was the one who should be doing the apologizing. but not only did she not shake off his hand, oh no, she leaned further into him, her belly almost touching his bent forearm.
it took a gargantuan amount of effort just to not pull her in all the way. she was most inviting to touch, all soft curves courtesy of semi-regular meals and tender skin despite the blazing summer sun.
daryl's thumb moved up and down the cotton of her shorts absent-mindedly. the sweet little sighs falling from her lips were hard to miss. almost as if it was someone else pushing her into his arms, a well-meaning ghost perhaps; she tilted in on herself to soak up the warmth of his large, hot body.
a trail of goosebumps ran across his scalp, starting from the place she was rubbing gentle circles into it - at the back of his head, where his hairline met his nape. if he was capable of purring, he would.
instead, he groaned again, eyelashes fluttering, casting a moving shadow on his sharp cheeks. his reward was an equally-content sounding sigh as it drafted into his nose, warm and earthy.
the empty cup thudded against the table where he placed it.
her fingers parted his hair gingerly, taking great care to avoid potential tangles. some finer, smaller hairs still pulled, taking some of his self-deprecation and resolve with 'em as the motion traversed his body in a jolt and settled somewhere deep inside the pit of his belly.
this was getting dangerous.
daryl opened his eyes and stared up.
#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon#daryl dixon fluff#daryl x you#daryl x y/n#daryl x reader#daryl x female reader#twd fanfiction#daryl is so puppydog#i wanna pet him
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I just read the Blade with scared reader fic, could you possibly do that with Dan Heng too?
yes i sure can :D this was pretty fun to write! i feel like i don't get a lot of request for dan heng himself so it was a nice change! usually people request imbibitor lol :3
Warning: this post contains yandere-themes including, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of being held against ones will, mentions of force-feeding, mentions of being manhandled, mentions of feed tubes, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!
Dan Heng is, reasonably, upset over it. He’s worried about your health, skipping meals and missing sleep takes a toll on people, physically and mentally. It gets to the point where he starts drugging you to ensure you sleep. And while he isn’t exactly keen on force-feeding you, he compromises by giving you just enough to weaken you, make you more pliant, and then persuading you to eat.
He doesn’t like to be physically forceful, he knows you’re still going through the shock of being brought on to the Astral Express unwillingly and being kept there against your will. Himeko and Welt said you’d get over it soon, that you just needed time to adjust, but at this rate, you’d render yourself comatose before anything else,
Dan Heng is forceful with you, but still in a gentle way. He feels bad about manhandling you into the bathroom, but once you’re inside he lets you remove your own clothes and shower at your own will. He isn’t going to stand there and watch, he wants you to know that he still cares. The most forceful he gets is cuddling at night. He doesn’t need much, but he does like to have some part of himself touching you. It helps him sleep better, knowing you’re there and that you’re his.
“Please, I- you haven’t eaten all week. Just… just take a few bites, you need to eat something.” Dan Heng pleads softly with you, hands nudging the plate of food back towards you. This had been going on for a few minutes now, with you pushing the plate back towards him, refusing the food. He didn’t want to have to drug you again, he already felt awful enough for having to do so last week, but you were still refusing to eat. Dan Heng wasn’t going to sit around and watch you waste away, but he still wanted you to know that you had this choice. That not everything had to be done the hard way.
Because of your resistance to food, you’re on a soft foods and liquids diet for a while, stuff that’s easy to feed you when you’re barely conscious. When you start opening up and eating more on your own, Dan Heng slowly begins to reintroduce other foods. Most of it he cooks himself, wanting to make sure it was perfect for you. It warms his heart to see you willingly eating it.
If you should never grow accustomed to him and staying with him, Dan Heng is not entirely against the idea of giving you a feeding tube. It’s a last resort kind of thing, something that would take well over a year to build to, but when it’s brought up as a possible solution, he starts to think on it more. It would make feeding you easier and it means you’d have to be drugged less, but it comes with the added problem of ensuring you don’t rip it out. Regardless, he will pursue that path if you should continue to be difficult with him.
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