#sevika x reader angst

[bella-goths-wife]

Kiss the barrel of my gun softly: chapter one

Sevika x reader

Warnings for this chapter: violence, gun and knife usage, drinking, gambling mentions, womaniser Sevika, a little bit ooc sevika but I tried I swear, mentions of sex, mentions of prostitution

The streets surrounding the Last Drop were as busy as usual as Sevika and her men walked calmly along on their way for yet another meeting revolving around how to clean up Jinx’s new mess up. All of them dragging their feet in the process of doing so. 

The markets were alive and thriving with various different creatures running around to steal, sample or buy. The one thing the crowd did do in unison however, was separating and dispersing to make a clear path for the terrifying group. All their eyes trained on the leader of the group with fearful yet respectful expressions, knowing that treating Silco’s second in command with anything but was nothing short of a death sentence. 

Sevika enjoyed this, she liked it even. The respect she was given wherever she went was nothing short of thrilling, knowing she had earned it alongside their fear gave her a feeling that working with Vander never could. So she walks with pride along the newly opened path and tries to ignore the way her men slobber and gloat behind her. 

All's going well until she spots it, until she spots you.

You were rarely spotted in public these days, keeping yourself locked away from undercity society seemed to appeal to you nowadays. You stood there in that familiar black dress and cloak, the one that showed enough of your tempting flesh without exposing your weak points. The dress that showed enough of your figure with your cloak to hide any weapons, the dress that once represented your grief but now represents your power.

You stood there looking beautiful under the lighting of the marketplace, you stood there looking calmly at the woman you were currently attempting to purchase some kind of liquid in a glass bottle from. You stood….

You stood directly in the way of Sevika and her group.

You seemed chillingly calm as you turned your head to notice them, having to be made aware by the muscular red headed woman by the side of you that you had brought along with you for protection reasons presumably.

Your eyes narrowed as your head turned and you made eye contact with sevika, your serenely calm expression changing almost noticeably to one of contempt. The twitch of your eye and the slight snarl of your lips are only noticeable to sevika, having learned all your microexpressions from your past encounters.

You simply quirked a brow at the sight of the group and the situation you had found yourself in, but still choosing to not move out of their way. You stand there still a few feet in front of sevika and her group without a spec of fear or respect in your gaze. The onlookers looked at you with looks of anxiety, knowing that anyone else in your position would usually be shot down or beaten without a second thought, especially given the bad blood that ran between you and Silco.

Sevika could feel her men getting antsy at the sight of your clear disrespect towards them, looking at you with faces of anger and disbelief. Still, your eyes remained trained on Sevika and hers kept on yours. 

Sevika battled internally with how to respond to your disrespect, you seemingly doing the same as you both stood still as statues with gazes locked in a heated battle of wills.

Sevika’s men make the first move, one of the skinner ones darted forward with the clear intent to slay you down as his hand grips the handle of his knife. The muscular red headed woman next to you acted in kind as she also moved forward with her hand grabbing the gun that had been strapped to her thigh.

You both stopped the attacks in action. Sevika gripped the collar of the skinny man's shirt and threw him back into her small group huddled behind her while you simply raised your fist and the woman beside you halted and lowered her gun. The skinny man rubbed his bumped head and glared at Sevika while the muscular woman nodded and slotted the gun back into the holdster on her thigh. 

Sevika stared at you while you stared at her before suddenly you were walking towards her, until with a blink of an eye you and the red headed woman had passed the group with barely an inch between you, you exchanged one more cold look to sevika before you had passed her fully. The onlookers let out sighs of relief, knowing that they had missed what could have been a bloodbath.

“What the hell boss?!” the skinny man exclaims as the group continues to walk, trying to figure out their bosses intent “why’d you stop me?”

Sevika turns and gives the man a deadly glare, towering over the skinny man with a snarl on her scarred lips

“You never attack without my command!” Sevika barks out fiercely “understand me?”

“But she was disrespecting us” The skinny man grunted out, although with much less conviction than before when his intimidating boss wasn't burning holes into his head with her glare “we could have taken her out!”

Sevika’s glare harshens at his words and her body seems to become more tense as her mechanical hand reaches out and digs into the front of his shirt and drags him close enough so that he was looking directly into her angered.

“I don’t care if she was spitting directly into your fucking face, you never attack unless i give the command” Sevika snarls out, droplets of her sit landing on the skinny mans face because of her harsh volume and tone “we ain’t here to start fights over petty shit like that, especially with someone with that amount of influence around here, you understand me?”

The skinny man quickly nods his head, knowing he'd severely overstepped his station by questioning her and sorely regretting it. Sevika only grumbled as she threw him back into the group behind her before turning back around and continuing to walk.

“I just don’t understand why she gets a free pass” The man mumbles out with a sulking expression despite the warning looks from the other members of the group gave him “what makes her so special?”

Sevika simply lets out a sigh and continues walking the route to the last drop, not even sparing the man a look over her shoulder.

“Madame obsidian and Silco already have bad blood between them, we can’t afford to make it worse over something petty” Sevika explains stoically as she aggressively rams her shoulder against any onlookers who got in her way, desperate to cover up her previous weakness that they had witnessed “The Madame has too much influence for us to do that currently”

“How much influence can a brothel owner have?” The man scoffs out in disbelief.

“You’d be surprised” sevika grumbles out with a grim expression.

Sevika tunes out the rest of the group's rants and conversations for the rest of the journey. Her mind wandered back to you, the cold look you gave her as you passed. Your eyes, god how they’d changed so radically. What they once held of warmth and curiosity had now disappeared and left nothing but a hollow calmness and cold contempt.

It's true, Sevika enjoyed the respect she received, although sometimes she regrets what she had to give up in order to maintain it.

Your eyes looked so different from the night you had first met.

——————————-past———————————

It had been a great night for sevika.

She’d successfully overseen a large amount of shimmer making its way into Piltover, meaning Silco had a hefty bag of gold coins waiting for her on his desk when she returned. She’d decided to spend it on her usual vices as she made her way to one of the rundown bars near to her apartment, somewhere she could wind down away from the drama of The Last Drop.

She’d drunk whiskey neat and gambled the night away, cheating her way into winning most of her games. This, mixed with her sore winner attitude, made it so her opponents left in a huff as they’d slam their cards down and refuse to play with her anymore.

This made her consider packing the cards up, settling her tab at the bar and going to babbettes to pick some sweet looking girl to release her excessive energy onto. But something stopped her as she approached the bar to pay her tab.

She spotted you sitting at the bar, sipping some kind of sickly sweet looking concoction. Your dark clothing was dirty and ripped but that did nothing to distract from your lustrous figure and obvious beauty beneath the messed up hair and exhaustion. 

“Don’t you think it's a little dangerous for someone like you to be out here alone?” sevika asks stoically as she sits on the bar stool beside you “especially at night”

You don’t even look at her as you sip your drink before opening your mouth to respond.

“That a threat or an offer?” you ask calmly with a raised brow as you turn to face her

“Your choice” sevika offers stoically as she leans back in her seat to observe you, locking eyes with you

She eyes you with barely concealed lust, eyes obviously trailing from your muddy boots all the way up to your eyes. She notices a considerable amount of curiosity within them that lingers as you watch her trail your body.

“I’ll take offer” you say as your head tilts slightly in curiosity, similar to a puppy dogs, Sevika remarks to herself internally “I’ve had enough threats for one night”

Sevika’s face becomes slightly smug at your acceptance before signaling to the bartender for two of the same drinks.

“What are you doing drinking alone?” Sevika asks as she turns her attention back to you before eyeing your dirty torn clothing “on the run or something?”

“It's the undercity” you point out calmly as you sip your fresh drink “everyone’s running from something down here”

“That's vague” Sevika states somewhat suspiciously “trying to keep yourself a mystery or something?”

“It's not exactly smart to make yourself known to Silco’s right hand woman, now is it?” you point out with a raised brow and narrowed eyes

Sevika is slightly surprised at your correct observation, having it not exactly been public information where Sevika’s place was within Silco’s scheme at the moment. So having you guess it so quickly was certainly intriguing and almost suspicious.

“Clocked it when I heard your voice, you and your boss have had a few meetings at Madame Emerald’s brothel” you explain calmly when noticing her surprised look “you talk loudly in meetings”

“You're one of Emeralds girls?” Sevika asks, slightly confused on why she hadn't seen you working the floor on one of her various visits.

“I’m the Madame’s assistant” you answer calmly as you sip your sweet drink.

Sevika eyes your messy and dishevelled appearance before huffing out a slightly mocking laugh.

“You must be one of the madame’s favourites” Sevika assumes as she sips her whiskey, the implication thick in the air between the two of you.

“It isn't what your thinking” you clarify with a slight scoff “I don’t do brothel work”

“That so?” sevika says with a mocking tone “Then what do you do?”

“I told you” you point out calmly “i’m an assistant”

“Assistants a bit vague, don’t you think?” Sevika asks with a scoff

“So ask so i can clarify” you say in a challenging manner, a manner that would usually have sevika choking out anyone else who used it.

“Go ahead” Sevika says with a scoff and a challenging tone that rivalled your own “what do you do as her assistant”

You smirk at this as you place your empty glass on the bar and you lean forward slightly 

“I assist Madame Emerald with day to day tasks as well as meetings, business ventures, money handling” you list off calmly as you eye her curiously

“So basically you're her second in command?” sevika asks with a raised brow and an almost condescending tone “might as well be running the damn empire”

“Isn’t that what you do for Silco?” you fire back in a way that has Sevika questioning if your flirting back or if you're genuinely trying to pick a fight with her.

“Suppose so” Sevika states as her eyes narrow slightly and her tone becomes mocking “don’t think Silco would like that comparison though, considering old emerald isn’t particularly good at anything besides playing with the hearts of desperate men”

“Madame Emerald is smarter than this place gives her credit for” you shoot back defensively with a firm tone, your brows furrowing in a way that sevika finds just delightful

The bartender comes over to collect the empty glasses and you reach into your pocket to pull out a few coins for payment, only to have sevika slap your hand away before instructing the bartender to put it on her tab. This causes you to raise your brow at her.

“What exactly are you aiming for out of this conversation?” you ask bluntly as you put your coins away, becoming all too aware of the situation.

“What makes you think I'm aiming for something?” Sevika replies with an amused tone 

“Because you don't even know my name, yet your sat here talking to me and buying me drinks” you point out with a suspicious tone and narrowed eyes “no one does that in the undercity without wanting something”

Sevika lets out a breathy chuckle at your accusation before grabbing one of her cigarettes from her pocket and lighting it up.

“I think you know exactly what I want from you” Sevika states with a smug tone, blowing smoke gently in your face

“You seem pretty confident in how you think the nights gonna end” you scoff out 

“sweetheart , i don't think” Sevika says smugly “i know how tonights gonna end”

This elicits an irritated reaction from you as you let out a scoff before rolling your eyes and crossing your arms.

“I’m not gonna sleep with you” you state bluntly with a firm tone as you lean away from her, temporarily breaking the intense eye contact the two of you had been sharing

“What makes you so sure?” Sevika asks smugly

“Madame Emerald and Silco are business rivals and have a very intense hatred of each other” you point out with an obvious tone “sleeping with her assistant doesn't make you look particularly loyal”

Sevika bristles slightly at your words, always finding it extremely uncomfortable whenever her loyalty was called into question, especially after the Vander incident. She brushes those feelings away quickly with a mocking chuckle.

“Not gonna say that hasn't crossed my mind, but Silco doesnt tell me who i can and can’t fuck” sevika states smugly as she leans in slightly “so your free game in my mind, sweetheart”

“____” you state your name as you stand from the bar stool, correcting her on her pet name “my name, not sweetheart”

“Leaving so soon?” Sevika almost sounds disappointed as you get ready to leave, tipping the rest of her drink down her throat

“You’ll see me around” you state in a way that almost sounds like a promise as you make your way out of the bar, the interaction forcing a small, bashful smile  onto your lips.

Sevika sports her own grin at your words as she lets out an amused huff before slamming some coins down on the bar to pay her tab and getting up to leave.

——————————-present—————————-

Sevika shakes her head to rid her thoughts of you with a grumble and clenched fists as she approaches the Last Drop with the intention to get the work done and go home to drown her sorrows in some kind of bottle, hoping slightly that silco wouldn’t hear of your clear sign of disrespect. She can’t keep protecting you from his and his men’s wraith if you didn’t try and at least act civil with them.

Then again, after all they’d done, she’s not sure she’d act civil either.

Her mind thinks of the girl she had met in that bar, the one she’d determinedly pursued and the one who shut her attempts down but in a way that only made her want you more.

She thinks of the woman who you were now, cold and calculating with anger and sorrow behind every action.

How times had changed for the two or you.

[nyctophiliq]

✮ — FIRST LOVE ; sevika

content warning. afab! reader, angst ! — lowercase writing intended, sevika overthinking, being very sad, it's angsty, she feels bad about loving the reader, they do talk in the end

wc. 1,04k

moss’ notes; moss has been having a hard time lately so they wrote something angsty, enjoy... they guess

it’s an outlet for her rage and sadness, a way to fill the hole in her heart that otherwise won’t be filled by someone else. she knows loving someone will never go her way, that no matter how hard she tries she is just not unique or exciting, and that she bores people with what she has to say because it is nothing but a ramble about her current hyper fixation. even when she tries to be interesting she is quickly overpowered by the mocking sound of all the rats that sit around her, enjoying the prestigious status that she is providing by scaring off all the hunters that are out for some rat dinner.

someone not being able to love her is nothing but her own fault, she knows that. she is not original, nor a pretty ornament that anyone put on their christmas tree so everyone can see and adore. she is nothing but a piece of this world that is just there because it has to be there, something that shields these happy people from the hard reality and bad decisions, somebody that commits to their bad ideas so nobody else has to fall into the black hole of being disappointed in themselves. 

thinking about loving you her stomach turns in an unpleasant way that she adores, it hurts so good that she has to experience it again and again by believing that she matters to you, that you love her just as she loves you then realize your heart is probably destined to love someone else. that she is there to remind you what not to like because it won’t end well. she knows your heart would just break between heart hands, stop beating, lose its pink, and rot away with the rest of your body.

no matter how far she stretches her own she will never reach your hand, to stop you and tell you that she has been dreaming of this moment for a lifetime now. keeping all this in mind she watches you, wandering from one end to the other of the bar, serving drinks to the drunk men who have probably piled up high on debts and will be regretting coming down for liquid courage when the drunken spell breaks. she watches as you smile despite how annoying they might be, taking another order and filling their glasses with watered down vodka.

it’s not like her to be this shy or scared of rejection, but the inevitable feeling that stabs her in the heart is a knife that she cannot pull out even if she tried to. she always sat at a table she knew you would never pick up an order from because it wasn’t assigned to you. that when you gaze at her she can’t help but feel nervous and suddenly her anxiety is burning her stomach, forcing her to depart from the table and head out to light a cigarette to calm her nerves.

if anyone knew that she was blowing the choking smoke from her throat because it closes up every time she tries not to think of you, she would be weak of the threats that they make against you, claiming if she doesn’t do what they want they will kill you. she couldn’t afford all those scum know that one word from you she would jump off of a ledge, that if you said “don’t” she would crawl right back in.

“dammit…” she breaths through her teeth, her palm colliding with her face, but not the human one. she wants it to hurt, that if she pushes enough with the heel of her hand you would jump out of her head through her ears and never come back.

“sevika, right?” despite hearing your voice countless times, listening in on the insincere apologies that you mumbled out after spilling alcohol on someone who tried to be a little more handsier than you allowed, it was a surprise to hear you say her name out loud. she thought about it day and night, trying to imagine how it would roll off your tongue, how your lips would curl after saying them.

the way you looked at her it was like you saw it on her face that it was rough, that it left a bad taste on her tongue, but if she told you what happened you wouldn’t throw up, that at first, you wouldn’t get it but you will understand as you step closer and look into her eyes.

she can’t think of any moment that she had been ever closer to you than she was now, standing in front of you with her cigarette hanging out of her mouth, burning and wasting away as she eyed you. she wanted to be stuck at that moment, just you in front of her the dim light of the back alley light, hugging your arms around yourself because it was cold out.

sevika threw the rolled-up tobacco away, smashing it with her heavy combat boots before pulling the scarf around her shoulders down and putting it around you. she wanted nothing more but for you to think it was a sweet gesture, that she had no alternative motive other than not wanting you to catch something. you looked up at her tall frame as you accepted her offer, now hugging the red scarf around yourself with an adorable smile on your face.

“yeah… y/n?”

would you leave her now? you surely wouldn’t… not when you are this close to her. at least talk to her, say something, don’t let her be the one starting this conversation because she will disappoint you. she can’t start, she has always been the one to move worlds but she can’t even take a breath because she is too scared it will scare you away. she sees herself as a giant, terrifying hunk of golem that you are afraid to climb, to commit to, that you would rather turn back around and

“look at me, look at the length of my hair, and my face, the shape of my body. do you really think that i give a damn what you do after years of just hearing them talking?”

tag list ; @mxyx-rx444 @darlingmisa @einrosa @sevikasangel @gonegonethankyouuu @xthescarletbitch @orang3-ish @bigboobslilheart

[angelltheninth]

Arcane Characters Dealing With Problems Badly

Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn Kiramman, Ekko, Silco, Sevika, Vander, Jayce, Viktor, Mel x Reader

Tags: angst, fluff, comfort, getting into fights, working late, protectiveness, massage, fake smiles, lack of sleep

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters

A/N: Arcane S2 is approaching and with it my emotional breakdown.

JINX

Bites her nails a lot out of nervousness

Relentlessly tinkers away at her desk, hardly even eating or drinking anything to make sure her body doesn't shut down

Talks with the people she sees but you don't and then tells you that she's fine because she's not alone, clearly she isn't fine, she doesn't want you to worry

Gets angry when you ask too many questions about her problems

Feels bad right after but there are just some things she's not ready to talk about, family things that she needs to sort out, but are free to stay by her side if it will make you feel better

VI

Pretends that there's nothing wrong

She learned in prison that showing any weakness if a bad thing so she tends to avoid it if she can

Hopes to distract you with kissing and flirting

Says that one of the best ways to get over things is a good fight so she seeks those out until she feels better

Of course this means that she comes back with a lot of bruises and maybe even a broken rib or two, but hey at least she got everything out of her system

CAITLYN

Obsesses over her problem to the point of losing sleep

Knows this is a problem for her but doesn't know how to fix it, she only knows how to fix other problems, and always before her own

Fell asleep at her office desk quite a few times

Doesn't even come home some nights but greets you down at the Enforcer HQ and gives you a kiss when you hand her the morning cup of coffee

Takes very short breaks to spend some time with you

EKKO

Includes you in solving most problems he needs to solve but doesn't give up until it's done

Takes a few unnecessary risks in the process

Risks his own safety, never someone else's, least of all yours

Call him stubborn if you must, he will admit that he is but everything he does is for a better future of you and all of his friends, for that no risk is too great

There's not a job dangerous enough to keep him away from it, he will try to keep you away, for your safety

SILCO

Can get a bit worked up when things don't end up going his way

Maintains a calm exterior when dealing with other people

In his job he needs to seem like he's in control of things even when he's not

Always tells you when he's gonna stay late so you don't worry that something happened to him, not realizing that you worry because these long nights have been getting more frequent

Finally has people who he can call h

SEVIKA

Good luck with trying to get her to open up with anything that's emotionally taxing on her

Blunt when she needs to threaten or insult but extremely slow when revealing her emotions

Would much rather drink, fight or fuck them away than give them a time of day

She's always been like this, you shouldn't expect her to change any time soon

Gets very guarded with her emotions if you try to prod at them, yet she's careful not to let her anger out on you, she likes you more than most people, you're fun

VANDER

Tries to avoid dragging you into his problems if he has anything to say about it

He knows you notice that he's more on guard, more careful when the bar is open, his eyes scanning the crowd for danger

Does tell you to keep your eyes open for anything suspicious but no more than that, he can deal with it when the time comes

Cracks a lot of jokes to make you feel better, safer

Promises that nothing will happen to you while he's still in charge, and he will keep it that way too

JAYCE

He's had to put on a fake smile more times than he can count, he can do it now too

Usually he's very honest with things that bother him, it's easy to open up to you

Yet this time he's closed off, working away on his blueprints, furiously writing things down in his notebook and even forgetting to eat the sandwiches he loves so much

A massage does help relax his pent up shoulders, he knows it's not good for him

Only when he's at the end of his rope does he admit what's been bothering him and let you help him

VIKTOR

Usually he closes himself up in his lab to work late nights so it takes a few nights for you to notice there's something wrong

He hasn't been sleeping at all, not for a few days

Barely keeps his eyes open yet insists that he's fine and that you don't need to worry about him getting sick from lack of rest

Takes short rests when you're in the lab with him

Needs to be dragged away to bed if he's gonna get any real sleep

MEL

Really good at pretending to be fine and being in control of things, even when she's pretending in front of you

Being in the Council for as long as she has she had to learn how to keep her guard up

Kisses your cheek when she tells you that her problems are her own, not for you to worry your pretty head about

Will spend the night with you but be gone first thing in the morning

Her nightmares get worse the longer this goes on

[artinvain]

in the midsts of hellfire (pt. 2) (pt 1 here) wc: 3.3k

cw: smut, angst, verryyyy toxic relationship (reader x vi), a little bit of smut.

pitfighter vi x reader, sevika x reader, vi x caitlyn.

in the first two weeks while you stayed with sevika you were quiet. you mostly stayed in bed crying or sleeping and you’d shared with her between bouts of crying pieces of your past with vi. you’d carried her for months on your back, like a giant cross to bear. and still, though that heavy weight has been ripped from you, you feel the phantom mass cracking your back. the wounds throbbing and the blood they drew burning your skin.

vi had moulded you into her caretaker, her saviour. if you needed to leave - vi was on her knees. if you stayed when she did not want you to, she made sure you knew you weren’t wanted. and still you cleaned her wounds, fed her, loved her. because when she was kind, her light shone on you and warmed your skin - it was like winter sun and you had become addicted - waiting for the next time she smiled. you were starting to believe you were made to take the pain. That like she said - love was pain. why not? you had been doing it so well with vi. 

when you started to talk to sevika - she only knew how to show you how wrong vi is. tracing your skin with love and ordering your steps away from unneeded apologies or fear of backlash. sevika started to show you how soft and joyful love is. knowing the truth about your relationship, sevika was filled with rage for days, she contemplated tearing through piltover and killing vi and anyone she was with. 

In your third week with her, you’d never been this calm during your relationship with vi. by the end of the month, you had recovered from your tearful and depressive state. your romance had stopped being about what you didn’t have with vi and all about this connection that has finally simmered past the surface. you started to see a councillor twice a week at sevika’s suggestion and she watched you bloom as you healed. you hadn’t spoken about what happened the night you came over and sevika didn’t feel like there was ever a right time to bring it up.

sevika didn’t mind, she would wait for years if she needed to. she didn’t believe she could love like this until she met you and now she knows love can never be any other way. with you her heart was true, she was known by you and she’d never been more comfortable truly being seen.

It was a week ago, after two months of basically living together that you’d made sevika dinner and welcomed her home to desert baking and her home smelling like you. she was filled with a warmth she hadn’t ever felt seeing you open the door for her, your skin dewy with the heat of the kitchen and a dopey smile on your face, the smell of weed lingering on you. you offered her a burning joint and lead her into the kitchen.

“and what’s all this for?” she chuckles as you sat her in a chair at the dinning table and poured her a glass of wine.

“I have been cleared for counselling twice a month,” you smiled nervously - “i know it’s not a big deal, but -” sevika stands and pulls you into a hug, whisking you around before setting you down and without thinking she swoops down to kiss you and sighing happily when you kiss her back.

“I’m so proud of you bunny,” she huffs, her eyes closed and her forehead pressed against yours. you reach up to cup her cheek.

“thank you for being so patient,” you smile and sevika rubs her nose against yours. “do you feel like yourself again?” sevika asks, her arms coming to wrap around your waist and pull you close. your hands settle on her strong arms and squeeze gently.

“more than i ever have,” you whisper, “and that’s why i know i’m ready. for this for us. If you still want me -”

sevika answers you with a fervent kiss, your hand cupping her head as she licks her way into your mouth. 

“i will always want you,” she proclaims, “you are mine and i am yours - i always have been,” sevika sighs and uses her strength to pull you up onto her waist, her mech arm holding you up while her other is gentle on the back of your head, guiding you to her mouth.

sevika takes her time kissing you but rushes to her bedroom to lay you down. “I want to show you,” she whispers between kisses to your neck, “how much i love you,” sevika moans, feeling you buck your hips up into her. she moans when you whimper as she pulls your silky night dress down and sucks your nipple into her mouth, her other hand coming to grope your tits, her rough fingers teasing your sensitive nipples. 

Sevika grinds her hips down onto yours and whines at the taste of your tits leaking into her mouth as she squeezes and teases your nipples. “please vika,” you gasp as her hands rip the dress from you and she’s burying her head between your thighs. kissing the insides of them and nuzzling your core - suckling on your clit through your panties and her hands come to hold your hips down so she can tease you. 

“fuck, need to feel your mouth on me, please,” you whine and your lover acquiesces, pulling your panties down and licking up your cunt, tasting you and making you shudder, her mouth finally taking your clit in and letting her tongue roll and lap against it as you moan. 

“you taste like heaven my sweet,” sevika groans, her fingers working lazily into your pussy as you whine and open your legs further for her. sevika takes a moment to watch your swollen cunt swallow her fingers, your wetness coating them - she’s entranced as she rubs your clit,

“fuck baby, your pussy’s drooling for me baby, for me yeah? all mine?” 

you nod and dig your hands into her hair, gripping and grinding onto her. “just for you,” you sigh and tighten around her fingers when she curls them into your gspot. 

sevika whines, looking over your face - eyes crewed shut and plump lips stretched in a moan “oh bunny, you’re so fucking beautiful,” she smiles and you cum, groaning and tightening your thighs around her head as your back arches. sevika replaces her fingers with her mouth, even though you’re overstimulated you’re hips are still moving against her face as she eats you, tasting your cum and moaning, licking into your hole for more.

“need to be inside you,” sev moans - her belly tighening with need. sevika kisses up your body, her hand rubbing and squeezing over your skin. “please,” you whine and she kisses your mouth and then stands at the edge of the bed. sevika quickly rids herself of anything that would stop her skin from touching yours and secures her strap and then clambers onto the bed between your legs.

sevika rubs lube over her cock and kisses your knees gently as she lifts your thighs to your chest. “I love you,” sevika groans as she pushes the tip of her cock inside you and your pussy pulls her in, you whine and grab for her thighs as she bucks into you. 

“I love you sevika,” you moan and sevika whines into your neck, falling between your legs and pulling your thigh up beside her.

“fuck, fuck you feel so good,” she moans fucking into you, her strap rubbing up against her clit as she grinds into you - your warm wet walls pulling her in with each thrust. “oh baby, please cum with me,” she groans her hand squeezing your ass roughly and pulling you into her. you buck your hips against her and you grab for her arms, scratching down her back.

“yeah, yes want your cum inside me, cum with me,” your eyes find sevika’s after a heated kiss and you whimper out, “i love you,”

she says with you, your orgasms crashing over you, your eyes hooded and still trained on sevika, her eyes full and wide with pleasure and love. you both sigh into each other, placing kisses on ever piece of skin available until she’s ready to pull out and get under the covers to pull you close.

 sevika kisses your forehead and brushes your hair from your face, pulling you into her body. “will you stay here? move in with me?” she asks quietly and you nod your head, turning to kiss her - “that depends,” you smile. 

“will you be my girlfriend?” you ask and she grins, leaning over you and reaching into her bedside table. sevika pulls a bracelet from it and lets you finger the bejewelled gold bracelet. you lean in to kiss sevika. 

“yes, i’ll be your girlfriend,” sevika blushes. “It would be my honour.”

***

In piltover, at the outskirts in a rural farm was cait’s hideout. they hadn’t spoken about you. cait had jumped her bones that first night and it was exactly like she imagined it would be. the shock and joy of finding her long lost fuelling her kisses and needy touches. but that night as she slept - she dreamt of you. the first night you two had met. 

It was summer, the night humid with a cool breeze drifting over vi’s sore skin. vi sat in a dingy bar, touching over her bandaged wounds just to make them hurt. and then as she turned to ask for another drink, there you were. 

you’d only just clocked in and vi had spent the entire night trying to get your attention. you were charismatic, you worked your crowd and earned your tips. making even vi laugh until your cheeks hurt and she could smile - she hadn’t smiled in months. 

vi follows you out on your smoke break and leans against the wall beside you. you chuckle at her cool demeanour and offer her a cigarette before she can work up the nerve to ask to bum one.

“you know i had a whole line planned,” vi scoffs as she take the light from you. you roll your eyes and take a sip of your beer. “and what were you going to say?” you ask leaning on your arm and turning to face her.

before she can answer an alarm sounds through the streets, glass smashing and a small group runs past the alley in masks, the smell of smoke following. 

In the silence vi answers “something about an angel - shouldn’t be smoking or whatever,” she mumbles.

zaun had fallen. silco had died and their nation was in peril. and still you were at work, here to get your ends meet and put on a show.

“In the midsts of this hellfire, i think i should be okay.”

vi couldn’t leave you alone. your will was strong but she wore you down. she started to wear you down in all ways. at first she was addicted to your attitude, your wit, your laugh - she loved the way you asserted yourself. but it was when you started to show how much you cared for her that vi got scared. she had come to you the evening of a particularly rough match. she doesn’t know why she came to you but all vi could think about when she went down in the ring was what you had said to her a few nights prior. 

“I could be a little reprieve,”

and you were. she’d spent so many nights, laying kisses between your thighs and hearing you whine, making your back arch as she flicked her tongue against your clit. she remembers the way your thighs tightened around hers when she rubbed her cunt against yours. 

but vi couldn’t shake that cold feeling at the back of her neck. everyone she had ever loved had died or run away and she didn’t think she could take it if you did the same thing. so she started to push - just a little bit at first. picking fights here and there - choosing to bicker when she knew she didn’t have to. and you stayed. and then she started saying mean things, pushing you and throwing things. It happened so quickly, every time you stayed she wondered if she had gone too far. she wanted to test if you would leave - a vicious cycle she’d overthought herself into.

and now you were gone, sevika had made sure of it. It didn’t take vi long to figure it was her who tipped cait off as to her whereabouts. vi could feel rage the heat of branding rod thinking about the two of you together. she could also be good - she just needed to show you, and it wasn’t as if sevika was a saint. did it not matter that she had taken part in ravaging zaun?

of course you had no idea about her father, vi hadn’t told you the truth about him, but she’d been trying to warn you - tell you the truth about sevika. but every letter she sent came back unopened and every line she had to you went cold.

“finn is the only leader in silco’s circle still alive,” cait says, vi looks down at the plan of the last drop. there was a tunnel there to every one of silco’s closest associates and they’d all turned up dead just days after silco did. “sevika is also still alive,” vi says, clearing her throat and tracing the tunnel to her house. 

“vi we spoke about this - she isn’t our priority. finn is the most likely to try and get the distribution of shimmer up and running again. he’s already gathered twenty men and women with children all willing to sign on. He’ll be trying to push shimmer worse than silco did,” cait says, she stretches her neck and finally vi looks at her. 

“how do you know it won’t be sevika?” vi asks and cait huffs, crossing her arms, “she’s - i don’t know - she hasn’t made any moves,” she replies. cait had already told vi that she was sure the tip had come from sevika. It was a sloppy cover-up and even though it wasn’t cait's fault she couldn’t bring herself to talk to her for a day. 

the silence that follows makes the electricity running through the house loud. “you act like i committed a crime for finding you, i thought you wanted me to find you,” caitlyn sighs and vi puts her hands in her head. 

“I’m sorry, it’s not your fault i just - it’s hard adjusting to being back to this - to this fight,” vi sighs and feels cait rub her shoulders. “maybe we should take a day off - just get back to me and you,” she whispers in vi’s ear and rubs over her chest, curling her arms around vi’s neck. Vi nods and smiles politely, pressing a kiss to cait’s temple.

***

There’s a cool breeze drifting into sevika’s bedroom, cooling your heated skin and making your nipples perk up, and you shift into sevika’s waiting arms. she often can’t sleep, it’s been better having you in her bed but, there are some nights where she stays on high alert.

It’s probably residual stress from work. a part of her worries someone will take her from you as she sleeps. or break into the house and try to hurt you. she knows people in her old circle are upset with her because she’s been keeping a tight rein on shimmer production, and their pockets were slowly emptying. just the other day finn had cornered her with some of his new goons. she’d escaped with only one flesh wound but still - their audacity to attack her in public showed a deep upset - a wrath coming she feared she would boil over onto you.

sevika set up a protection order for you - of course you had no idea, she didn’t want to scare you. but in order to protect you sevika had to know the names of anyone who even gleaned your way. and it turned out to be more handy than necessary. there had been several reports to her about vi trying to contact you. letters and whispers she’d intercepted and snuffed out, vi didn’t deserve any part of you and a part of sevika knew she didn’t have the right to control your life in any way but she just wants to protect you.

her phone lights up on her bedside table, a vibration starting and she answers before it can ring a second time.

“what?” she spits into the phone as she leans back in bed. “kiramman’s at the drop looking around,” a gruff voice answers.

“get them out,” sevika answers and drops the call. sevika bites her lip, squinting into the dark of her bedroom. she needs to seal her tunnel off, it would take them more than one scope to find hers. what the fuck were they snooping around for? what more trouble could she possibly want? 

sevika is so sick of their righteous bullshit and her vi’s self-entitled claim over zaun. as if xander hadn't given up his throne by choice years ago. she shakes her head. she has more important things to worry about - the shelter was broken into and the rations of shimmer for the patients weening off were stolen, and three hospitals had been raided. when her phone rings again she’s ready to tear someone’s head off but then ran speaks. 

“how are you?” ran asks and sevika sighs. “tired,” she replies.

“mhh,” ran breathes at the end of the line.

it’s quiet for a bit before they speak. 

“look we’re on the shelter and the hospitals.” ran says  “we all think you should take some time off - you’re not yourself. after silco-”

“I agree,” sevika interrupts and chuckles, “don’t waste a speech. I’ll take some time off,” sevika looks down at you. she needs to get you away somewhere safe.

“okay, good. Goodnight,” ran says smiling and hangs up.

sevika looks over you, a small smile coming to her face until -

“vi please -” you whimper as you sleep, your face turned into her pillows, sevika watches your fists clench around the blankets and your eyes screw shut, “it hurts,” you groan. although you were better - there were nights where you were overridden with anxiety as you mind circles the old pain.

sevika pulls you into her chest and kisses your face, gently and then your cheeks and then your eyelids as they flutter open. 

“bad dream?” sevika asks and you nod, stretching your leg over her lap and humming into her neck. 

“why don’t we go away for a bit, just you and me?” sevika asks and you’re more awake with the question, looking up at her. “are you sure?” you ask and touch her cheek. sevika smiles down at you coming to kiss your mouth. 

“yes, now will you help me relax?” she asks and you squint at her - “how?” you yawn and sevika rolls you onto your back, kissing down your cami and kissing your clit through your panties.

“my god - you’re insatiable,” you laugh as sev hums against your thighs.

“have you seen yourself?” sevika smiles and pulls your panites to the side to lick your pussy and suck your clit into her mouth. Sevika’s shoulders relax as you start to moan and she licks into your hole gathering your wetness and groaning at the taste. 

“god,” you whine and sevika holds your hips down, her copper arm rest over your belly as her fingers slowly sink in, your pussy so sensitive from the way she fucked you just a few hours ago. 

“fuck, you’re still so wet,” she moans as you whimper at the stretch of her fingers. 

“god, this pussy’s made for me,” she grunts, “my pretty fucking girl,” she smiles against your thigh, 

“gotta make sure my doll’s taken care of,” she groans, letting you tighten your legs around her head. 

“cum for me baby,” she whispers and you do, your orgasm overtaking you as you shake and whine. sevika sucks her fingers clean and gathers you into her arms and finally, she is able to sleep.

✨🏷️ usual sev tags @archangeldyke-all @sexysapphicshopowner @sevsbaby @iamaboringrattat @lavendersgirl @opropheticsoul @ariariarr @femme-historian @maneskinwh0re

imohf tags @lia-winther @pendejalian @abbysunderwear @nanathecannibal

[starrrcane]

Solace in your arms

Summery: sevika comes home after an extremely hard day and can’t help but just find comfort in your arms as your hold her

Warnings: possibly insecure sevika who doesn’t talk about her feelings

Notes: no description of the reader. But I fear this is a little short and rushed. And this is my first fic post ever!!!!

As the door creaked open, Sevika tumbled in, her exhausted frame sagging beneath the weight of her armor. The day's toll was etched on her face, each crease and line a testament to the battles she'd fought. She'd saved zaun, but at what cost?

She stumbles on to your shared bed, not even bothering to change out of her work clothes lying in your arms "Shh, Sevika," you whispered, your voice a gentle breeze in the storm. "You're home now. You're safe."

Her face heated up and her eyes welled with tears, the dam finally breaking. You held her tighter, your heart aching with compassion for your gentle giant. In this moment, she wasn't the fearsome warrior, but a vulnerable soul seeking solace.

As her tears slowed, you stroked her hair, your touch a gentle comfort. "You're not alone, Sevika. You are safe with me”

With a sniffle, she pulled back, her eyes red-rimmed and smirked. "I’m the one who is supposed to be keeping you safe," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

You smiled and rolled your eyes, your arms still wrapped around her. "That doesn’t mean I still can’t take care of my favorite girl."

You sat there in silence for a long time, the only sound her ragged breathing. You didn't need to say anything; your presence was enough. Slowly, her tension eased, her body relaxing into yours.

“Sevika” you whisper her name to check if she was still awake.

"Hmm?" she replied, her voice still shaky.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

She shook her head, her eyes closing. "Just hold me."

And you did just that.

Eventually, Sevika stirred, her eyes fluttering open. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice still shaky. "I didn't mean to break down like that." She had been repeating those words she had said to you earlier, she was supposed to be your protecter, she was supposed to be the strong one. Who is she if she can’t even stay strong in front of the one person who truly loves her.

You smiled, your eyes filled with compassion. "You don't ever have to apologize for that. I'll be here to catch you, to hold you, to comfort you." That’s when she truly started to realize maybe she didn’t need to be strong all the time.

[tracistars]

LIBIDO - 002

WARNINGS/KINKS: dubcon yum, mostly sleepy sex, lil bit fingering, lil bit of eating out, arguments, attachment issu... so a crumb of angst.

SUCCUBUS!SEVIKA X FEM READER

Her visits are becoming regular. You're tired of her leaving you.

It was another late night. You were laying in your bed, your warm sheets irritating you, your sweat felt like glue, it was horrible. You laid there tossing and turning - the lights from the city leaking through your curtains, the loud booming music from clubs, night markets, and bars felt unbearably loud. You groaned, tired from your shitty days at work. You finally found a position hours later, the noise from below dying down, your sheets became magically cooler as you huffed, holding your pillow close to your chest and between your legs - you shivered feeling the familiar cold hands trace along your waist a deep growl coming from the larger woman behind you, you groan back in response.

" I'm trying to rest... "

You were half asleep, and you weren't gonna let it be ruined by sevikas wants. Clearly, she wasn't happy with your answer as she huffed - her breath making you shiver once more. She didn't give up, though she ran her hand up your waist and gently caressed your breast, her hand slipping under the fabric of your shirt, her fingers brushing over your nipple making you shudder. You didn't stop her - nor did she stop herself. She let out a small hum as she tucked your hair behind your ear, laying her head next to yours, placing her leg between your own legs warmth slowly building up as you let her gently play with you. Her touch was gentle - she couldn't help but watch your lazily tired movements as you caressed her hand.

Sevika let out small hums, watching how sleepy you were, but it wasn't enough she needed more. So sevika propped you onto your back, spreading your legs - she ran her finger up your thigh, seeing how you melted into her touch made sevika smirk. Sevika pushed your panties to the side as she pushed two fingers in slowly. You whined your head - shot up immediately. Sevika grinned at your response, watching how you began panting and resting your head against the headboard. It was so attractive seeing you sweating and panting.

" yknow I can't help myself darlin..' "

Sevika kept the grin on her face as she spread your legs a little more. She fingered you slowly. She went in with her mouth and tongue she kept it the same pace as she teasingly licked around your clit, you shuddered beginning to grip the sheets. Sevika watched how you started to sweat and pant... you were so sensitive - you were already close, and she just was getting started with you...? Sevika couldn't care less. She continued to suck and lick at your clit, teasing you - she pumped her fingers in you one last time she felt her head being squeezed by your legs, you gasped - she continued to lick at your sensitive clit. Your grip around her head tightened as you threw your head back, moaning loudly it was too much.

You came all over her face, and she licked it up happily and satisfied. She let out a small chuckle, shaking her head and looking at the mess she caused. She spread your thighs for a better view. She licked her lips, tasting the sweet aftertaste of you.

" Well shit... you came so fast for me this time, darling. I'm even surprised... "

Your legs were shivering as you groaned. You put your arm over your face, and you were embarrassed. Sevikas hands gently made their way up your waist, trying to soothe you. She laid a small kiss on the inside of your thigh.

" Aw cmon... don't be like that... "

Sevika huffed as she pushed your arm away from your face. You looked down at yourself, the mess between your thighs making you cringe. Seeing sevikas comforting smile as her large hand rubbed your thigh, her nose pressed up against your lower belly as she kissed you, making you smile - her kisses lead upwards, as she past your stomach moving the fabric around so she could get as much skin possible. she kissed your clothed breast softly, giving it a small squeeze. she was practically pinning you under her. She moved up towards you as she kissed along your collar bone, making her way up the column of your neck. She lastly placed a kiss against your lips. She smiled at you, her naked body pressing against your clothed torso. You huffed as you caressed her face. Her actions were gentle, demure even.

Sevika melted into her touch. She closed her eyes, huffing, she opened them as she looked uo at you, her grey stoic eyes now an innocent and sad look, as she cleared her throat, sitting up running her hand through her hair, as she looked at you.

" Well, yknow I have to go now.. y/n.. "

Sevika knew you weren't happy when she left. She immediately saw your twisted expression growing. She could already hear your complaints - then the bickering and conflict between the two of you. Sevika stood up staying silent, waiting for your response patiently.

" Why? Can't you stay a little longer... we can stay in bed alittle longer- why are you always leaving me like this! "

You exclaimed, now sitting upwards, your hands resting between your thighs, y/n looked up at sevika with pleading eyes as she complained sevika huffed - obviously annoyed with her behavior. Sevika shook her head as she began to pace. She really wasn't in the mood to hear your complaints.

" is something... not right up there or what..?"

Sevika bluntly asked her. Her comment was a little harsher than intended, but she needed you to understand not to get attached to her. She had no interest in staying with you.

" Don't.. we have something?? I thought.. "

Sevika watched how you were so easily hurt over by her rude response to your complaint. But sevika didn't want to be tied down to you, nor did she need to hear silco and jinx teasing her about dating a human girl, sevika couldn't go that low, she was fucking succubus for fucks sakes - once she was done feeding off of you it should've ended. But sevika was definitely gaining some sort of love and attachment towards you, making her come back, sevika didn't like that.

She didn't want these little arrangements to end on bad terms, but of course, you began complaining, and she should've prepared for it. Sevika had no intentions of trying to hurt your feelings, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. She didn't know what to say - she knew she was wrong.. but it was hard to admit, and it was hard to say sorry. Most importantly, it was hard to leave you, sevika was lost in her thoughts. She was torn between her options, and she had very little.

" sevika! Can you talk to me...? Please- what the fuck do mean something isn't right up there- I meant what I meant- I thought we were together- I thought that's why you kept coming back - But truly sevika tell me what the fuck are we anymore?! "

You began to raise your voice, demanding and pleading for her answers and explaining. She groaned, rubbing her temples . She didn't want to snap at you, but it was hard - you were beginning to piss her off.

" yknow damn well what I mean... I don't want to be with you- I'm here for sex im here to get my fill and fucking leave- that's it.. I'm not here to coddle you and tell you it's okay- we aren't anything- "

She knew what she was saying was hurtful and not the best choice of words at all. She had been a little too blunt - but she needed to push you away. She needed those words to be engraved in your head.

You and sevika were arguing, going back and forth. It felt like an endless screaming match. You were losing your voice as you argued how you didn't need to be used. That was the last thing you wanted or needed. Sevika kept bringing up how you attached to her hip. Why couldn't she just stay? Why was this such a big deal - you weren't asking for much.

" y/n - I don't want to keep arguing with you - I'll admit now that I was wrong - and I used... the wrong choice of words.. but I just - I just can't let this be a thing - no matter how much I want it to be it - I don't need to deal with more than what's on my plate "

Sevika spoke her voice hoarse, and as her words were shaken up slightly, still trying to keep up her stoic demeanor, it was clear that her demeanor was breaking, showing her vulnerability. You didn't say anything. Tears were on your face as you paced around the room, your hands entangled in your own hair.

" I just - why is this such a big matter to you - why is it so hard just to stay! That's all I'm asking - "

You wanted to continue your ramble, but sevika pulled your figure close to hers. She held you tight, and sevika couldn't deny her own feelings anymore - she never meant to be so rude, she didn't want any of this to happen. You were in slight shock as you hesitantly held her back, your arms wrapping around her slowly as you let out a deep exhale, burying your face into her chest breathing in her scent and hearing her racing heartbeat.

" y/n... this isn't what I wanted - for this big argument... I'm just not familiar with... relationships. "

She mumbled her chin resting on your head, her voice was laced with guilt as she spoke, you didn't know what to say, you just stood there holding her. You patted her back, pinching the bridge of your nose. You didn't know what to say. You were still angry - sevika could sense that as she looked down at you, she inhaled before exhaling softly. She wasn't good with emotional stuff - seeing you upset wasn't the intention, sevika tucked your hair behind your ear, and she felt herself cringing at herself, trying to be vulnerable with y/n.

Despite being still angry at sevika, you just held her waist, your hands tracing over her naked hips, your attention was on her naked body - you took in her dark skin features and toned body. You flushed, you looked up at her face, her grey eyes watching you intently her hand brushing over your hair playing with the softness. She gave you a small smirk. She caressed your face. You felt her calloused fingers caress your face. Simply, you melted into her hands. Sevika quickly pulled you up, sitting down and making sure your legs were wrapped around her waist - you gasped, feeling the swift movement. You were in her lap, smiling. You kissed her cheek softly. Sevika returned the kiss, loving your attention. Your arms were wrapped around her neck as you sighed.

" I'm sorry sevy... "

You mumbled, looking away from her, feeling guilty about this whole situation. Sevika ran her hands up and down your waist as she smirked up at you her brow arching.

" I'll accept that... if I you do something for me "

She kept that stupid smirk on her face, and you sighed, trying to hold back a smile, knowing exactly what she wanted from you. You were deep in between sevika's thighs, her deep moans filling the room as she had a tight grip against your hair. She breathed heavily, letting out shaky moans.

" your.. your the fucking best... - "

She whined as she finally came, painting your face in her own fluids as she finally loosened the grip against your hair. You smirked up at her, looking at the mess. Of course you weren't done, you wanted to make her cum one last time. You sat up, positioning your thighs over hers as she groaned, holding herself up, her thighs shook as your cunt made contact with hers.

Sevika wrapped her arms around your neck as your clits began to rub uo against eachother, her hair was a mess - the warmth building up in her once more. You sped up - your moans becoming louder, you bit your lip trying to keep quiet as you rubbed against her. Sevika felt like her mind was melting everytime there clits rubbed against eachother, her moans were deep as she grunted trying to keep the same pace as y/n. It wasn't long before sevika came - her clit was so overstimulated - sevikas whole body shook as she let out a loud moan. Y/n came quickly after, and sevika felt overfilled as she rested against the headboard, panting.

You both sat there fucked out of your mind, you laid back as you ran your hands over your face, your face was flushed. Sevika didn't speak she just sat obviously overstimulated and exhausted with the past events.

END

Honestly, this was probably the most boring fanfic ever tbh... BUT IDGAF FELT LIKE POSTING FRFRR 🗣🔥‼️(most yap fic ever)

[sevikasenby]

three months. (ao3 link)

a/n: first fic for @sevikaweek and i thought i’d end the last day, the deal, with another ending <3

summary: sevika goes into hiding because of the war between piltover and the undercity and you and sevika make a deal, a promise even: 3 months. that was it. rating: explicit, MDNI wc: 2,983 warning for major character death, mentions of blood

AGELESS BLOGS, MINORS AND MEN DNI

“they won’t find where i’m going. hell, they hardy know where this place is anyways so-“

“yeah they don’t know where we are right now, so why can’t you just stay here, sev!?” 

sevika stared at you. she opened her mouth to speak but closed it and let out a long, weary sigh and looked around. you were both stood in the living room because she had come to you with this while you were lounging on the couch. 

she knew you were frustrated, hence why you had just snapped at her a bit, but she was to because you weren’t understanding. maybe you never would. 

she looked at you with saddened eyes, “because you’re not a target, baby.”  she lifted her hand to cup your cheek, letting you nuzzle into it. “if they find this place and they see you with me, they will either take you or kill you too and i cannot let that happen.”

the enforcers were after sevika, but mainly jinx, wanting them dead or alive, and anyone who could’ve been helping either of them, hiding them, etc because of the war between piltover and the undercity going on. they already got a couple people including some firelights, lock and even singed because of the shimmer distribution. 

ran was actually the one helping jinx, letting her stay in their apartment since it was a bit like yours and sevika’s, off the enforcers radar and likely they wouldn’t be caught here. you had even questioned why sevika couldn’t go and stay with ran. she said it was because they were already hiding someone and she didn’t want to put them more at risk for helping. 

sevika just didn’t want to chance anything. she wanted to leave to keep you safe, to go to an even more secluded area, one far back in the undercity in hopes the enforcers would be too scared to go back there. 

“look,” sevika started when you looked away from her, thinking about what she said. “i’ll make a deal with you. give it three months. that’s it.”

“three months? for what?”

“in three months everything should be died down enough to where i can come back and be alright living here. probably will still keep low profile but it should be fine.”

“and if it’s not?” you placed your hand on top of hers where it still rested on your cheek. 

“then i stay where i am and i will come back to you as soon as it is, i promise. until then, you stay here. ran, i’m sure will keep you company, and you do not, under any circumstances, come looking for me. deal?”

it was your time to sigh. you raised your hand and moved the few stranded of hair out of face. she had cut her hair a lot shorter as a way to disguise herself, she had actually changed her whole outfit (jinx made her go shopping) for that matter, a new dark purple cloak. she had a new mech arm (jinx actually made some of it) and even got her first piercing right under her bottom lip. obviously it wasn’t going to disguise her a hundred percent but enforcers would be looking for her with a different description than she has now. 

“okay.” you said after a while. you still didn’t understand why she couldn’t just stay where she was, here with you. yes she wanted to protect you but just as she said, enforcers really didn’t know where they were. yes it was a chance of them coming your way, but sevika couldn’t bare the thought of anything happening to you so she decided herself that she was going to leave, that it was the best option for the both of you. 

two days later sevika had packed her bags. it wasn’t much, she’s never been someone to own a lot of things, she just packed what she needed. she also packed her clothes that were in the closet and put them away so just in case enforcers did make their way in, they wouldn’t know she lives here, they would only think you did. 

you laid in bed that night, resting on sevika’s chest, catching your breath, a pit of despair looming over you knowing what was coming the following day. you just had sex, like any regular night. but this time it wasn’t rough, it wasn’t fast, it felt completely different. yes you’ve had sex where it wasn’t your regular fast pace. this felt softer. her touch was somehow even more gentle than it normally was. it was slow, like she didn’t want it to ever end. she kept you close to her, her fingers were never not intertwined with yours as her wet clit moved against you. 

maybe you saw the tears in her eyes right before she buried her face in your neck, clearly not wanting you to see, but you didn’t mention it. and maybe a few of your own tears fell into her hair as you wrapped one of your arms around her, holding the back on her head. sevika didn’t notice. 

yes she was only going away for 3 months, not really a long time, so why were you both crying? it was probably because there was a possibility of her not coming back, you both knew it, but it was never said. because if its never spoken out loud, maybe it wouldn’t be real…

you looked up at her, rubbing you thumb across her chest. “i love you so much, sev.”

“i love you too, baby. you don’t understand how much i love you.” she leaned down to kiss your lips. “i barely even understand it.” 

_________________

the next morning it was quiet. too quiet for sevika’s liking. because sevika left before you even woke up since she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave after seeing the look in your eyes knowing she’s gonna be gone for three months, maybe even longer, but the hope was only three. she left with the memory of you sleeping peacefully, of you humming softly in your sleep as she caressed your hair and rubbed your back. 

if she sat at her desk, debating if this was the right decision once again and if she had tears slowing falling down her face while she kissed your forehead and made her way out the door once telling herself again that it was, it was the right decision, you didn’t need to know that. 

you woke up to a cold, empty bed. you weren’t necessarily surprised, she’s left to go to work way before you woke up at times. but this time was different. she was gone. you weren’t going to see her for what is probably gonna feel like a life time for you. for the both of you. 

you reached out and grabbed her pillow to hug to your chest. when you did, something caught your attention. her old outfit along with her old red cloak were still draped over her desk chair. you had washed them the other day and you knew you had to put them up and keep them away incase enforcers were to show. but at that moment you couldn’t, you got out of bed and grabbed her cloak, wrapping yourself in it as you hoped and prayed to whatever was out there that sevika would be safe and that she came back to you in one piece. 

_________________

it was a little over two months later, three months was just around the corner. you were starting to feel a little bit of hope bubble up inside of you. shit had died down as sevika had said, (other than the incident that happened about two weeks ago) and enforcers were getting tired of running in circles and the number of them that came down to the underity kept lowering. 

right after sevika left, it was a bit rough. ran had came by and stayed with you for a full day or two to keep you company and make sure you were doing okay, reminding you that sevika knew what she was doing, that she wouldn’t have left if she didn’t think it was the best option. they didn’t stay the night because enforcers were more likely to be coming down while it was dark but they came by almost every day to check in on you. 

you finally decided that you could do this. you trusted sevika. you trusted her with everything in you. and again, three months was just around the corner. 

_________________

a knock on the door interrupted your thoughts as you were getting ready to go to bed. it was a quiet night, only hearing the pitter patter of rain hitting the roof. you went and looked through the peephole in the door (because sevika reminded you to not open the door until you check who it is) and saw that it wasn’t an enforcer. 

so you opened the door and stared at ran in front of you, they were looking down. their hair and clothes were soaked bc of the rain and when they finally looked up at you, you could see their makeup was running down their face. 

they were sobbing you realized and your heart stopped. you looked down to see what they were holding and…

oh. 

sevika. 

she came back to you…but only one piece of her came back. 

the wet purple cloak was clutched tightly in their hands and your heart started racing, you started shaking and tears immediately formed in your eyes when you noticed the red splotches on it. 

“i-i-i’m sorry.” ran stuttered out. they stumbled inside just enough to where they would fall into you and you both nearly hit the ground. 

“no, no, no, no ,no-“ you started and ran wrapped one of their arms around you, let out a chocked sob and then both of you were on the ground, almost in the middle of the doorway while it was still raining. you felt the cloak in between you two and the tears finally fell. you felt completely empty, shattered, like you wanted to scream at the sky and sob until the only thing rolling down your face was the rain. 

three months…that was the deal. it was almost here. and now it never will be. 

_________________

it was hours after ran came by, hours after ran stopped crying, hours after you stopped sobbing into the purple cloak, now soaked with your tears instead of the rain. it was hours after the rain had stopped and it was past midnight that ran was finally able to tell you what happened. 

they didn’t know, really. they told you they ran into an old friend and one of the first things he said to ran was “oh, and i’m really sorry about sevika.”

ran was confused by what he said and their friend then realized they didn’t know what he was talking about. he was hesitant to tell them, of course, but told them what he knew. 

he said he saw three zaunite’s coming from a house about two weeks ago, way back in the undercity where he roamed about a lot simply because it was quiet, less people. it was safe, but maybe not so much anymore. the three men were clearly carrying a body with a white sheet over them. as they walked, a mech arm had slipped out and hit one of the guys in the leg and startled him. ran’s friend recognized it as sevika’s.

ran asked him to show them where the house was and he did. ran rushed into the house, noticing the trail of blood going up the steps and was met with one of their worst fears inside. the purple cloak on the floor was the first thing they noticed. then they noticed the blood on the cloak, then on the floor. it was enough that ran rushed back outside to throw up over the side of the railing as they were almost hyperventilating.

the enforcers must have found her and shot her, is the conclusion ran came to. after a bit of silence, a few sniffles heard here and there, ran questioned how you were going to tell jinx. 

you had absolutely no idea. all you knew was that sevika’s gone. she’s been gone. and you had no idea. 

_________________

sevika had heard from listening in on a few peoples conversation that another wave had started. more enforcers were swarming the undercity. what she didn’t know was it was because jinx almost got herself caught. it was an accident, of course, she didn’t mean to get in the line of sight of an enforcer when all she wanted to do was to go to jericho’s for a little snack for her and ran. but it pissed the enforcers off enough that they decided to adventure deep into the city to look for her. 

sevika went out, as she usually did. she checked every other day to see how things were doing, to try and see how many enforcers were out. but that night she went out at the wrong time because two enforcers were making their way down in search of jinx, thinking she might’ve been hiding deep in the shadows of the undercity. 

she noticed them before they noticed her. she turned around quickly, but not quickly enough. they had caught the end of her cloak, running up on her and she turned around when she heard the noise. they recognized her immediately, her mech arm poking out beneath her cloak. 

she didn’t have the time to think before one of them fired a shot at her, hitting her in the chest and knocking her to the ground. she had just enough energy to power her mech arm and use her blade to slice both legs of the enforcer who shot her. he screamed and fell to the ground in front of her.

the enforcers then decided that fuck it, she was shot, there’s a long way out of here and she wasn’t gonna make it out, so the enforcer helped his friend to his feet and they left, leaving sevika on the ground. 

she placed her hand over where she was shot, blood running down her hand. she knew she had to make it back inside, at least. breathing was getting difficult and her eye sight was blearing but she managed to get up the steps and inside the door. that was as far as her body would let her go. 

she was flat on her back on the floor of the run down house she was in. her own shuttered breath was the only noise she heard. the only thing she felt was a burning sensation in her chest. she knew she had to put something other than her hand on her wound but her cloak was tangled beneath her mech arm. she did her best and at least got it over her head but she tried and failed at pulling it out, giving up when her good arm was too weak to do so. 

she coughed and moved her head to the side to spit the blood out. as her eyes started feeling heavy, they started drooping and her mind started wondering. she thought of you. she thought about how she left almost three months ago. she left you sleeping peacefully, curled into the blankets where you were previously curled up in her arms. you always loved being in her arms, she was always so warm. but right now she felt cold, so so cold. 

she wondered for a moment how you were. if you were eating, drinking, getting enough sleep. she wondered if ran and jinx were  doing okay, if they were still safe. ran became sevika’s friend after they both started working for silco. the first thing sevika noticed was that ran never said much. which was never an issue. then she noticed they were the only person who could come close to beating her at cards and then suddenly they were friends. jinx was…well she was jinx. sevika may have felt a bit (a lot) of hatred for her in the past, mostly for blowing her up multiple times, but the little shit had grown on her. not that she’d ever let jinx know that.

now the burning pain in her chest was getting unbearable and a tear slipped down her face. she thought about what if she had stayed and just for a moment she almost regretted leaving you. she thought about what would’ve happened if you were with her right now. you would probably be frantically trying to stop her bleeding, that is if you hadn’t been shot along with her, which was more likely. if you hadn’t been shot, you probably would’ve been moving her hair out of her eyes, making her keep them open as you talked to her. 

then she thought about why she felt the need to leave so bad because of course she could have stayed. she could have protected you, at least she wants to believe she could have, and then it clicked. 

it was because you were never apart of her plans. you came along so suddenly and changed everything for her so fast that she couldn’t keep up. she never planned to care about someone so much. and she cared about you so fucking much, too much to let you die because of her. you weren’t supposed to be apart of this. she never planned for you to be apart of her life. 

you were her last thought and her last breath was more of a sigh, a sigh of content knowing you were safe, knowing that you weren’t holding her hand or kissing her forehead, knowing that you weren’t here with her… and she was okay with that. 

[sevsdollette]

taking care of Sevika after she comes home from work

this is part one. never realized tumblr had a character limit until I was 6000 characters over the limit @-@. part two is the one with the smut, if that's what you're looking for. (it will be up right away)

poor baby sev has a really tough job :( angst fluff and smut i guess?? sevika’s angry then you take care of her and then she fingers you ig that takes into account all three.

warning for blood, injuries, implications of violence. also contains smoking, fingering (r-receiving), making out (in part 2)

MDNI and men go away

it was late, but not any later than usual for Sevika. you sat on the couch of your humble Zaun apartment, fiddling with a cigarette as you watched the mechanical clock on your wall tick away.

there had been nights before when she didn’t come home at all. it had been a while since then and it was all because of some big disaster writhing the shimmer trade but still. you worried.

eventually, she did come home. you could hear heavy footsteps out in the hall and watched as the front door clicked open. you stood up from the couch as she opened the door, and your jaw dropped at the sight of her.

she was in one piece, but that piece was shoddily taped together and ready to fall apart. there was a large bandage over her cheekbone already soaked with blood. she almost seemed to walk with a limp and her brow was cut on one side.

“Sevika, what—“

she held up a hand. “don’t start. please don’t start.”

you froze, pursing your lips and trying to find some words she would accept. she was stubborn and a bitch in the best of times. on these nights, sometimes you couldn’t stand her.

she walked into the apartment, kicking off her boots and unclipping her cloak to rest on the kitchen counter. her metal arm was intact but there was one small stain of blood she forgot to clean off of it.

you could just see the tiredness behind her eyes as she hardly glanced at you before walking into the bedroom. a minute later, the shower turned on.

to get through a night like this, actions spoke louder than words, so you followed after her. as you got into the bathroom, she was already undressing and didn’t turn around to look at you. silently, you took your own clothes off.

you placed a soft hand on her shoulder and she turned her head back to meet your eyes. her brow was thick with thought. “what?”

“are you okay?”

she clenched her jaw and exhaled, turning back around.

you bit back every nasty thing you could say to her. you had to remind yourself that she probably had a day far worse than you could imagine and you just had to give her space.

she still let you come into the shower with her. her shoulders slightly eased as you took out her hair and smoothed your hands down her back. you placed a kiss right between her shoulder blades.

you waited as she let the water rinse her off, examining all of her to assess the damage. her cheek, her eyebrow, and her leg seemed to be the problem. there was a nasty cut through her calf, almost threatening her shin, which she had messily bandaged. it was getting wet and ruined, too.

even in these tense moments, you loved to look at her and adore every inch. she was so beautiful and strong for you. over each curve of muscle and dip of bone, you had surely once kissed her and you savored that. that was why her coming home late scared you so much. you couldn’t ever lose her.

she turned around and looked down at you, moving out of the way so you could get under the water and use the soap. her mind was focused elsewhere, staring through the shower curtain to some place in her mind.

you reached out and gently touched the edge of the bandage on her cheek. her nose wrinkled and she almost pulled back. but then she let you examine it. it was useless at this point: fully soaked with blood and old. you began to peel it off.

“i’ll put a new one on when we get out,” you assured, leaning out of the shower to throw the bandage away. as you did so, her hands held you over the curve of your hips. she kept you close.

when you leaned back in, she wrapped her arms around you, placing a kiss on your cheek before hiding her face in your neck. the water hit your back as she hugged you. the pads of her fingers pressed into your skin and she breathed you in. you ran your nails through her hail, massaging out her scalp as she relaxed into you.

she wasn’t crying and she wouldn’t, but this was as close as she got.

you had no idea how long the two of you stayed there, but at some point she lifted her head and pulled you into a kiss. it was hungrier than you expected, reeling you in as her hands drifted to hold you.

then she was done. probably caught by another upsetting thought that put her out of the mood. she pulled away and a few seconds later she was getting out of the shower.

as you got out too, you said, “dry off and go sit down. i’ll change your bandages.”

she nodded and perhaps muttered a thanks. you tired your hair up while she disappeared into the bedroom.

tag list (um it's small bc i don't know how this works. please tell me if you want me to add you or take you off):

@archangeldyke-all @cacston @sevsarm @sevsbaby

[tang3r1n]

ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ ʙᴀʙʏ

cw; 18+, heavy topics ngl, refrences to poverty and starvation, angst, GAY LESBIAN SEX, slight cannibalism symbolism if you squint rly hard, refrences to sex work and/or sexual assault

A/N: abt 900 words and literally cranked this bitch out in lile half an hour. jesus fuck how in the hell did Sevika bring me out of my fucking writing dry spell. what the actual fuck. i haven’t written in a year and ofc when i do it’s fucked up analogies and lesbian sex.

To be born of the cursed flesh is a cruel fate worse than death.

To be born as a tainted babe, cast out from the womb with vile stares and scornful words, is the most unlucky a child could be.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t just. She’d loved her life good, honest, she deserved the fruits of her labor, a young life filled with pain and struggle. But she was that of the unfavored, not the blessed ones of Piltover, not the nobles with their mansions or the Council with their riches. She was impoverished, born starved, raised hungry, grown into a ravenous woman who begged for the moresles of candied love the scum around her shoved down her throat or inside her.

She lived to survive, didn’t have time for anything outside of the coins thrown her way and the scraps she fed from. Ironic how she never looked the part; plump and soft, malleable and pliable, her hunger hidden beneath that syrupy, sugary smile that oh-so softly graced her cherub cheeks. She pranced around in fine silks and soft feathers, smoke and shimmer stinging her nose and eyes, ears never without the soft whines and moans that fluttered through the halls of the brothel.

Men were somehow more starved than she, their oafish bodies sweaty and fetid as they grabbed her with rough hands, uncaring of the bruises and marks that grew, staining her already tainted body. She loathed them, pushing her brain to the clouds of smoke circling overhead as she rode out whatever sick ride they put her on. The rides were never long, thankfully, mercifully, their essence all that remained once they stepped off with little more than a sideways glance and those same scornful words she learned years ago. Her bed was a sanctuary, a soft, pillowy escape where she could let her mind drift and fly away, she dreamed of soft touches and sweeter kisses, honeyed words and gentle smiles against her plush skin.

This woman above her, her tan skin and dark lips, soft breasts and firm muscles, rough hands caressing her like she was made of porcelain, felt like heaven. Her touch was better than shimmer, a rush incomparable to any human emotion, a religious awakening, it was invigorating. Men were hurtful, slapping and choking all while they shared the same blood and flesh that she had— but this woman, with her metal arm and scars, was slow and sybaritic, gluttonous how she sucked and kissed at her skin.

Long fingers pumped inside her, working choked gasps and impossibly soft moans from the cursed one’s mouth, curling inside her cunt to almost lazily press against that spot that made her dizzy, stomach twisting as her eyes fluttered shut. The woman’s voice was low and deep, chiding her for looking away, for her hips trying to worm away from this pleasure, “look at me,” the woman whispered, licking a stripe up her neck littered in hickeys. The other keened, hazy eyes half lidded as she looked up to her savior, the older woman grinned, wolfish and possessed, yet she didn’t feel fear. Not like she had before, the woman was all-consuming, dominating her very soul and suffocating her under that strong body built by the gods, yet she could only cry and cling to her skin, begging for more and more.

She was starved, and this woman, bringing her to climax, the sinfully delicious sounds of her own cunt squelching clashing with her pitiful cries, was feeding her. Feeding that bottomless pit she had been build with, feeding her with lips sloppily meshed together in a fucked up display of power and perversion. Feeding her with those dangerous fingers circling her pearl and filling her up. Feeding her with praise and love like a false prayer, flooding her mind with devotion and compassion she so desperately craved.

With the burst of her orgasm, she wailed, tugging on her savior’s messy hair as her body shook in pleasure. White blinded her as her glassy eyes rolled back, devilish smile fading away with a dark chuckle. The woman gently slipped her fingers from her cunt, a dull ‘pop!’ making her ears burn as she watched the woman suck on the soaked fingers. The woman’s eyes rolled back, a delicious moan rumbling from her chest and in that moment she wondered if this woman was starving too. If her savior craved just like she did, if this woman watched her with the same kind of hungry eyes as she did.

She was pulled into another sultry kiss, lips smooshed and smacking as they stole each other’s breath, wrapped up in each other’s arms. The woman pulled away first, keeping her close with a firm hand around her thick neck, string fingers ever so gently cutting off her oxygen, “such a pretty girl,” the woman whispered, a secret for just the two of them, “my new favorite treat.”

Born damned, she scavenged for love and life, but staring into those dark eyes, she saw the same hunger, the same damned flesh tangled up in her’s in a macabre display.

[roaminginmyownbirthcanal]

I love angst and the awful feeling it gives me

[nhaaauyen]

me writing angst: me writing smut:

shoutout to @lavendersgirl for supporting me through it ygs can thank her for the smut in the next chapter

[bella-goths-wife]

Kiss the barrel of my gun softly masterlist:

Synopsis: Silco and the owner of gemstone brothel Madame Emerald had been rivals for many years, so what happens when their second in commands happen to fall each other and will the relationship be able to survive the rocky society of the undercity?

Or:

Going between the past and the present of your relationship with Sevika

Fic warnings: angst, smut, prostitution, character death, age gap relationships, switching from past and present, both you and Sevika aren’t good people, toxic yuri fr, power imbalance, probably ooc Sevika but I tried my best, stalker vibes, yandere vibes in certain parts

Chapter one

[telleroftime]

So I have a special little something for Clem because you know what? I want a little bit of angst in my life and what better way to get that than by torturing my friends --

Sevika x Reader where despite the darkness of Zaun - despite the crime and death and agony of its people that struggle like rats at the foot of the Piltovans - you are always so happy. You're always so uncharacteristically warm when pit against the shadows of the undercity. So innocent... A sunflower that refuses to wilt on soil that is not made for it to grow in.

Sevika x Reader where Sevika wants nothing to do with you. Work comes first and she is loyal to Silco and to his cause. One could say to a fault. He comes first. Work had always come first and yet you still insistently try to change that. You smile and you wave at her. You offer kindness to the big, scary Sevika. You don't care that she is Silco's right-hand man. No, to you she is exclusively herself.

Sevika x Reader where you become her light and her purpose. You are that one step better than well-aged whiskey. You give her hope for a better future. You let her love and feel loved, something that she had long forgotten was possible within the limits of Zaun.

Sevika x Reader where Sevika does everything in her power to keep you safe and happy. She keeps you close and disposes of anyone and anything that dares threaten you. Any weapons aimed at you has the owner's hand cut off. Any drug - any shimmer so much as flashed in your direction is crushed and the person choked without a flicker of hesitation.

Sevika x Reader where Sevika loves you dearly.

Sevika x Reader where sometime between the mess that Jinx had caused, the murky waters between the Chem-Barons, and Silcos's death - someone vile finds out about you. Someone gets their grubby hands on you and Sevika is not around to stop it. You are taken; kidnapped to be used as blackmail. It's not the first time, no, but it is the first time there had been a true opening.

Sevika x Reader where Sevika takes the time to try and sort out the mess that has become of Zaun- to try and find Silco like her work-focussed mind demands. Where Silco's men are so focussed on finding him that anything else is deemed insignificant and the slip of paper directed at Sevika is discarded to the side until just a few days later. Only a few measly days.

Sevika x Reader where she comes for you too late; she hears of you too late. She reads the note too late.

Sevika x Reader where she hunts through the streets of the undercity like a branded bull, searching for you and the location on the slip of paper. She finds you, eventually, so low bellow the burrowed city - so close to the edge of the Sump - so dangerously close to the toxic gas and the discarded people below.

Sevika x Reader where for the first time, she chokes on the air around her. When she sees the purple in your eyes - that poison that she so desperately kept away from you - all she can do is choke.

Sevika x Reader where she tries to reach out for you, her mechanical hand clicking in the silence of the caverns but even that falters - chokes and stalls- when she hears you murmur for "more". More shimmer, more more more.

Sevika x Reader where everything in Sevika's world freezes right then and there when you shuffle and stumble towards her, your pleading hands grasping at the fabric of her shirt with such delirious mumbles. You don't recognise her anymore. You don't know the love of your life.

Sevika x Reader where for the first time her hand shakes when she pulls out her pistol, her hand gently brushing against the skin of your face as you look at her so distantly.

Sevika x Reader where Sevika loses two people that day.

No happy ending for big cyborg mommy :)) her boss is dead, her lover is dead, teehee--

[mirconreadzztuff22]

- “𝙼𝚛. 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗”

Powder.

Jinx.

She caused more trouble than she could ever imagine.

If only she didn’t set off that bomb that day.

If only Sevika jumped in front of you instead of Silco.

It still haunts her to this day.

The sudden flash of blue, the shocked expression on Silco’s and your’s face.

She wishes it could have been her instead of you. Now, she has no one. Not someone she’s willing to be with, anyway. No one could replace your voice, your touch, your kisses, your smile, your love.

Being at The Last Drop didn’t feel the same without you, so she moved to a different space to play with her buddies.

When Silco brought Powder in, Sevika was still upset, not only for the lost of her arm, but because she lost you. She didn’t know Jinx was the culprit; well, until it slipped out. Sevika was livid. She lost one of the only people she loved, from some kid?

She wanted to beat the shit out of Jinx, but for obvious reasons, she never did.

All Sev could do was visit your gravestone, think about you and the past memories you two had. She tried to go to Babette’s to drown these feelings, but they never went away. The women there weren’t even close to being like you. After so long, she stopped and just continued working and working.

No matter how much Sevika masked her feelings, without a doubt, she missed you. She always has. No amount of masking could deny this.

If only things were different.

[sevikasupremacy]

Imagine Sevika saying to you, “If I die today, can it be you who kills me?”

[sexysapphicshopowner]

🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): Big news for the dreamgirls!! Aftermath of 'Twenty Foreplay'

🤎 soft!wife!dreamgirl!sevika x wife!dreamgirl!reader

🤎 CW/TW: abuse, violence, death, murder, child sexual abuse, adult language, pregnancy, lesbians, pet names, fluff, angst, abortion attempt, sevika has a tragic backstory, eating disorder, drug use, mentions of alcoholism, sorry if I forgot any, not proofread/edited so excuse any mistakes

🤎 A/N: It's late, I know, life happens. I actually cut it short bc it was starting to get a lot heavier than I wanted and the flow was starting to get a bit sloppy. So have this.

🤎 Notes: Um, I cried while writing most of the flashback parts. I love the dreamgirls.

🤎 Word count: 12.4k

Aromatic wisps of rosemary and sage wafted through the bathroom, the scents intermingling with that of the light and warm, semi-bubbly milk bath your wife had drawn for you when she’d gotten home for the day. You let out a soft sigh, your head barely hanging over the edge as you sunk further into the calming water, trying to let as much stress seep out of you as possible. 

Familiar and comforting hands found your shoulders, a kiss being planted on your temple as she spoke, voice barely a rumble over the neo-soul that was playing from the speaker on the sink counter, “How are you feeling, dream girl?” 

“Better now that you’re in here,” you hummed as you looked up to her, pressing a kiss to her chin as she massaged your shoulders. 

Her laugh was quiet as she ducked lower to press an upside-down kiss to your lips before kissing up the bridge of your nose. The playful little pecks turned reverent as her lips landed back at your forehead, peppering across the area as her hands moved. 

Fingers splayed out over your neck and partially your collar as she pressed her thumbs behind your ears, rubbing in circles. You all but melted in her hands, letting your eyes slip closed once more as you enjoyed her touch and kiss. 

“Have you started yet? I dropped last night.” 

You shook your head, letting out a little sigh, “Not yet, though I wish it would hurry up. These body aches are killing me and if I keep gagging, I’m gonna throw up and that’s gonna make me cry.” 

She cooed, thumbs now tracing down, applying a slight pressure as she dragged them along the line of your jaw, “My poor little mama...” 

“Why poor me? You’re the one that’s actually on. I should’ve been the one drawing a bath for you when you got home.” 

“Sure, but if you never drop then, you know what that means,” she hinted. 

You rolled your eyes playfully, humming, “True... we’ll see. I’ll let you know what happens. We both know my cycle is still very off and weird.”    “Right, right. Now about this gag-” 

“No.” 

“You didn’t even let me finish,” she pouted. 

“I don’t have to. You were about to ask if it’s too bad for me to suck a lil’ dick. You’re so sick and twisted and completely un-slick, little nasty,” you shook your head, pushing her face playfully. 

“Well, you’ve got me there. It was worth a try in my book,” she shrugged. 

“Uh-huh. You disgust me.” 

“Do I? Do I really,” she asked playfully, as you looked up, leaning your head back just a little further. 

You beckoned her closer as you leaned your head back a little further, “Kiss, kiss.” 

She happily obliges, leaning down to meet your lips as you stretch up just the tiniest bit. The kiss isn’t long, but it was enough to sate you until you could kiss her properly later. She mumbles against your lips as she pulls away, “I’m so in love with you and everything about you...” 

Your breath caught as you looked up at her, finding that same indescribable flame that always burned within her silvery eyes. Somehow the color still hadn’t dulled against the harsh reality of life as a Zaunite. Even more, that loving look in them only seemed to be larger every time you caught her eye. 

You were swooning. 

It wasn’t until her lips pressed to your forehead that you were pulled out of your reverie, blinking up at her as you turned around in the tub to look up at her properly as you leaned onto your arms, folding them over the edge of the bathtub, “I love you more.” 

“Yeah?” 

You nodded, beckoning her closer with the crook of a finger, “Uh-huh. C'mere. I’ll show you how much I love you.” 

She all but fell back into your lips, sighing into your kiss as it consumed her, your nails raking over her scalp as your fingers slid into her hair, thumbs tracing her jaw just in front of her ears. 

In a very uncharacteristic move, she pulled from the embrace before you could even deepen it, huffing, “You can’t kiss me like that, dreamy...” 

“Why not?” 

She shook her head to clear it, wiping her face, “Because then I’m gonna wanna get into the tub with you, then I’m gonna fuck you and I’m supposed to be focused on doing other things right now.” 

“Such as?” 

She just chuckled in response before planting a much more chaste kiss to your lips, following it with another to the tip of your nose, the final one touching your forehead as she stood, “What fun would it be if I just told you, mama? I’ll be back in a sec with some sparkling white grape. Just in case I did knock you up, which... not to toot my own dick, but I’m pretty certain I did.” 

Your laugh was more of a splutter as you choked on your spit and air at the same time, “For Janna’s sake, Sevi, it’s ‘toot my own horn’. I can’t stand your nasty ass sometimes.” 

“Then it’s a wonderful thing you’re in the tub right now, isn’t it?” 

“Girl- just hurry up, I want cuddles when I get out of here.” 

She blew you a final kiss from the doorway before disappearing into the rest of the house to do whatever it was she was hiding from you. As promised, she’d come back with the sparkling juice, to which you accepted gratefully with a little kiss before sinking back into your bath, lazily holding the champagne flute over the side of the tub as you sipped on the drink idly.

Sevika doesn’t like men. 

All the men out there who’ve ever wanted to fuck her can thank her father for the aversion. 

You see, when your childhood consists of being pimped out to strange men to pay your alcoholic father’s gambling debts, constantly getting into street fights, and then getting your ass handed to you once you get home- you don’t have much time to really discover yourself. 

Maybe in a different universe- one where Sevika wasn’t born in Zaun... where her father wasn’t abusive... where she wasn’t sex trafficked by the very man that was meant to protect her... she might’ve been attracted to men. 

But this wasn’t that universe. 

Her fear of relationships with men quickly grew into an outright disgust of them. 

And then it got worse. 

For Sevika, it started with the vomiting. 

For probably all the ladies living up Topside, the first sign would’ve been a missed period. Thanks to life in the Lanes, however, Sevika was pretty used to her period not coming at all sometimes. It never came with a baby before though. 

She’d been dancing the line of unknown pregnancy scares since she was 11. Now she was 21, still under the thumb of her father, and even worse- pregnant.

It wasn’t long before you were wrapped in a fluffy robe, feet slid into your house slippers as Sev guided you into the kitchen with her hands over your eyes under the guise of ‘driving you’ to her secret little surprise. 

You stumbled a bit and she took a little pause, “You okay?” 

“I smell food.” 

Her chuckle was hearty and you could almost hear the head shake that accompanied her words, “I’m sure you do. Almost there, dream girl.” 

Her hands were removed from your eyes without warning and allowed your eyes to adjust as she leaned her face over your shoulder, hands coming down to their usual home base of your waist as you took in the ambient, candlelit dinner she’d put together for you guys, “Sev...” 

She shook her head before you could continue, “Yes, I’m on my period and that’s your favorite time to spoil me, but I wanted to treat my wife.” 

You poked your lip out as you turned your head to look at her, “Sev...” 

She giggled, peppering the side of your face with kisses, “Don’t cry, mama... it’s just dinner. I can’t even cook like you.” 

You sniffled, fanning your eyes, “Shut it, my emotions are just everywhere right now. It’s not about your cooking skills, even though we both know I’ve taught you well... It’s about the gesture, and you know it.” 

She nodded, lips now at your shoulder, “I know... hope you love it.” 

“Of course, I love it... I love you...” you mumbled, holding a hand against her cheek. 

“Alright, alright, sit and eat,” she prompted, pulling your chair out with her foot. Before you could protest as she sat you down, she pressed several kisses to your face, “And I love you too. Never forget it.” 

You had a stupid smile on your face throughout the entirety of dinner.

Emetophobia. 

The fear of vomiting or seeing others being sick. 

Sevika had experienced her father’s violent reactions to her throwing up before. 

The first time was when she was 6. 

It was a particularly bad winter in Zaun. The smog was thicker, the cold seemed to seep into the very core of the Lanes. 

She’d been battling the sniffles and a nasty fever for days, all the while still being forced to ‘put herself to use’ by her father. 

Then it got worse. 

Then she began to throw up. 

At first, she hid it well. She’d swallow it down when she couldn’t get out of his sight. When she could, she’d always go out to an alley, ducking and weaving through bodies of what the little girl only hoped was just drunkards and junkies who’d passed out on a bender rather than what a six-year-old Sevika knew in her heart were either already dead or close to it. 

Up until this point, the extent of physical abuse coming directly from her father was a slap across the face or being picked up by the front of her shirt and shaken around. 

Then she brought him breakfast and didn’t make it out of his room fast enough to go puke out back. 

That was the catalyst for the abuses that would be-fall her for the next few decades of her life. 

Throw up tastes disgusting. 

It tastes even worse going back down after being licked up off your father’s grimy boots. 

Even worse, the feeling of wanting to re-release those fluids again when you were forced to lick those same boots clean until they were no longer grimy. 

Sevika trained herself to hold her throw up in after that.

Your music from the bathroom was moved to one of the counters in the kitchen, incense burning in the holder as you and Sevika cuddled up into each other, you perched up on her lap with the two of you picking from the same plate in between soft kisses and intimate looks. 

It was just you and your wife, enjoying the presence and company of one another in the midst of the meal she’d prepared. 

You leaned back against her chest, letting out a happy sigh, “You know... I’m so proud of you for this.” 

“Yeah,” she asked softly. The softness of her voice, the genuine question in that one word was so cute. You turned in her lap, sitting sideways atop her, cupping her cheek in a hand as you smiled warmly, pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose. 

You kept your voice at the same level of hers as you responded, “Of course, I’m proud, baby. You pan fried the rice properly and everything. I’m so very proud to see you picking up cooking a little more.” 

Your heart broke a little at the tears that glossed over her silver orbs as she looked up at you, “Really? You mean it?” 

“Yes, baby, I mean it. What’s wrong,” you cooed, bringing your other hand to her cheek to stroke both of them with your thumbs, “Talk to me, baby.” 

She shrugged, looking away, “I dunno... I just... I feel like I’ve been struggling to eat lately. Like I’ve been having to force myself to eat so I just... I wasn’t sure if I was in the right headspace to be cooking tonight, but I wanted to treat you, you know?” 

“Sev...” you began. 

“Don’t... it’s okay, doll. I’ll-” 

“Sevika,” you stopped her, keeping her face turned to yours as you moved again, this time to straddle her, “Will you look at me? Please?” 

She shook her head in your gentle grip, tears beginning to well, threatening to spill over as she fought hard to blink them back, “I can’t...” 

“And why not?” 

“I don’t want to see you disappointed in me...” she whispered, voice barely the ghost of a whisper. It was the smallest you’d heard her voice in a while. The last time was... you softened, further, bringing your voice to a warmer tone. 

“I’m not disappointed in you, baby. And I never could be, especially not for something like that. I’m actually proud of you. Very proud that instead of shutting down, you’re talking about it. I know how hard that is for you, especially when it comes to your eating. So with that being said, will you please look at me?” 

Watery eyes met yours as she nibbled the inside of her cheek, whispering, “Promise?” 

“Of course, baby. I promise, I’m not disappointed.” 

She took a shuddery, breath, closing her eyes as she leaned her forehead against your chest, “I love you...” 

You pressed a kiss into her hair, rubbing her back, “I love you too, baby. You wanna try and eat a little something more for me? Or do you just wanna talk? What did you eat today?” 

“Um.... I had a few bites of the lunch you made me, but then I.... let Ran eat the rest... I’m sorry...” 

“Baby, you don’t have to keep apologizing. Can you at least drink some water and eat a little something? Just a couple of bites?” She whined and you let out a little sigh, running your fingers through her hair, “Have you smoked yet?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Didn’t help?” 

“No.” 

“Okay... You’ll try again later?” 

“Sure.” 

“If you can’t that’s fine, but you gotta promise me you’ll try and eat well tomorrow, okay?” 

“I promise...” 

A plaintive silence fell over the two of you. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just... somber. You didn’t comment when she began to pick a few bites off the plate again, simply smiling that she was getting some form of food in her, even if it wasn’t a lot. 

At some point, Sevika had stopped eating, hands gripping at your waist, hips and thighs as she pressed kisses along the line of your neck and shoulder. Her hands strayed to your stomach as she mumbled, “Hey, mama?” 

“Yes, my love?” 

She chuckled as you stuffed your face with food, wiping some from your cheek, “What if I really did knock you up in one try?” 

“I wouldn’t be surprised. I mean, how many times did you nut in me? And we were both ovulating around that time too. It was like perfectly timed for us to actually end up with a baby.” 

She didn’t say anything else for a few moments, and you went right back to eating before she rested her chin on your shoulder, tracing your side with her mechanic hand, “You make me want a family...” 

“Yeah?” 

She nodded, “Yeah... even with life down here... the work that I do... you make me wanna have something to leave behind... a little family that’s like... a legacy of our love. Like, yes, I wanna be a mother and give our kids the things that I never had, but I also want people to see our kids and know that those are our kids. Like... they know that our kids have two loving moms that are actively in love.” 

You let out a little giggle, turning to the side in her lap to wrap your arms around her neck, pressing a kiss to her cheek as you held her other one, stroking your thumb over her cheekbone, “You’re so cute... I love you, and I would love to have your babies, and I know what you’re trying to say, I promise.” 

She relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief as she leaned into your hand on her face, “Thank Janna, I thought I was just rambling stupidly.” 

You shook your head, pressing more kisses to her face and lips, “No, I understood you perfectly.” 

“Have I told you how much I love you today?”

You giggled, nodding, “Yeah, a little bit. You always remind me that I’m loved... it’s why I married you.” 

“Really?”

“Of course. Baby, you told me you loved me within our first four dates. It was so cute because you were still learning to navigate love and healthy relationships... we both were, and still are, but here I had the big, scary lady of Zaun and she was looking at me like a puppy and telling me that she thought she was falling in love with me. I think that was the moment when I truly felt like I had found my person in you. And well... the rest is really history. By the time you asked me to marry you, I couldn’t say anything but yes.” 

She had idly reached for her wedding band that she always wore on a chain around her neck, fiddling with it as she looked up at you in her lap, “You never once like... entertained saying no? Or maybe waiting a little longer?” 

“Never. I knew when I met you that I had to snatch you up and it was just my luck that you seemed to have the same thought process when it came to me. I love you. And that’s not changing. So yes, I mean it when I say I wanna have your children, or that I love you more than anything, or that I’d do anything you asked of me because you’re... you’re everything to me, Sev... and I know that when it comes to us talking about kids it’s hard for you... but you’ve given me so much and I wanna give you the same thing in return. If given the chance, I wouldn’t change a thing about our relationship... well...” 

Her eyes snapped up to you from her ring as worry laced through her features, “Well?” 

You snickered, placing a gentle kiss to the bridge of her nose, “If I could go back, I would make sure I’d asked you to marry me before you could ask me.” 

“You’re so,” she rolled her eyes, unable to hide her smile as you shut her up with another little kiss. She pulled you further into her lap with a happy little sigh, “I love you, dream girl.” 

You leaned into her, resting your head on her shoulder as you wrapped an arm around her, your other hand coming up to her chest, fingernail tracing along her collarbone, “I love you too.” 

“Done eating?” 

You nodded, patting your stomach, “May or may not be a baby-baby in here, but there’s definitely a food baby in here.” 

The way she perked up almost like a little kid was too cute as she asked, “I did good?” 

The sated and full sigh you let out was all the answer she really needed, but you furthered it as you spoke, “Fuck yes...”

She rubbed your back with one hand, her other one grabbing hold of your hand to kiss each of your fingertips, “You’re so cute. It wasn’t even all that, mama.” 

“Uh-huh, it was gourmet. My compliments to the chef.” 

She raised a brow, voice full of ulterior motives and that all-too-familiar lilt as she muttered, “If you weren’t clearly about to fall asleep, I would ask for some better compliments, you know.” 

You quirked a brow sleepily, looking up at her through low and hooded eyes, “Huh?” 

“Alright, c’mon. To bed with you,” she prodded, adjusting her hold on you to pick you up with your legs wrapped around her waist. 

You instinctively looped your arms around her neck, pressing a few kisses to it as you hummed, “I love you.” 

“So I’ve noticed. I love you too.” 

“I love you.” 

She chuckled, “I love you too, baby.” 

“I love you.” 

She used her foot to push open the door to your shared bedroom, nodding as she used her foot to close the door once more, “Uh-huh, I love you too, dreamy. What’s up?” 

You shrugged as she sat down on the edge of the bed with you in her lap again, “Just feel like I haven’t said it enough today, you were at work all day, baby. Gotta reach our quota.” 

“We have a quota?” 

“Mhm,” you nodded against her shoulder, eyes closed as you planted lazy kisses against whatever skin was closest to you. 

Her breath hitched in her throat and she assumed a firmer grip on your hip as she hummed, “And what exactly would that number be?” 

“We say ‘I love you’ at least 76 times a day. And we kiss at least 280 times.” 

She chuckled, hand stroking along your hip and thigh as she nodded, “And where did you get these numbers from? Your ass?” 

“I’ve always counted.” 

That shut her up before she asked her next question a few moments later, “Are these exact numbers?” 

“An average. I did say ‘at least’.” 

“Huh.... you’re gay.” 

“Okay, but you married me so what does that say about you?” 

“That I did.” She turned to press a kiss to your forehead, just below your hairline before resting her head against yours, “I love you, dream girl.” 

You melted in her arms, nuzzling into the crook of her neck as you tightened your hold around her waist, “I love you...” 

“I love you,” she called again with a soft lilt in her tone as her thumb traced circles at the side of your hip. 

A heavy blush was creeping up from your chest, your skin growing warm as you let out a shaky breath, “I love you...” 

“You okay?” 

“Uh-huh...” 

“Words, mama.” You huffed and she shook her head, “No, ma’am. Talk to me. You goin’ to sleep on me?” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

You shook your head against her, “Mh-mh.”

She just chuckled, rubbing your back with one hand as she cradled the back of your head with the other, pressing kisses into your hair, “Whatever you say, mama.”

Sevika’s pregnancy scares were probably a lot more than she realized, but with little actual knowledge of her body, and the compounding factor of probably the world’s most irregular cycle, she spent the majority of her tween, teen, and young adult years none the wiser to any of the times where her body was seemingly contemplating the creation of a child. 

Until it started. 

At first, it was just a random nausea spell here and there. 

Then the nausea grew constant, the smallest smells setting her off with this horrible gagging. 

And then she threw up. 

All she could think of was what she was supposed to do when her father found out. No, no... he couldn’t find out. 

Flashbacks of that day when she was 6 have been haunting her since the first day of nausea. The intensity all but doubled when she woke up running for the toilet. 

Terrified didn’t even begin to cover the amalgamation of emotions Sevika was feeling when she realized what was going on with her. 

She thrust herself into ‘working’. Unsure of how far along she was and unable to actually find out, she decided to swallow down her daily morning sickness whenever it cropped up if she could, and when she couldn’t, she was straight to the nearest toilet. 

That didn’t stop her father from finding out. 

Sevika was sat on the bathroom floor, groaning under her breath after being unable to force herself to swallow her vomit back down. She was too weak and out of it to scramble and get herself together. 

If it wasn’t bad enough that she’d thrown up- didn't even get the chance to flush the toilet yet- her lack of reaction to his presence only further incensed the already drunk and irate man that called himself her father. 

It was a shitshow. 

Sevika was hemmed up by the collar of her shirt, his fist shaking as he barked in her face, questioning if this was why she’d been ‘underperforming’ lately. Too stunned to speak and reeling from the sudden yanking up from the floor, she sputtered, dizzy with a pounding headache as she tried to form a response. 

The more she floundered to actually engage with him, the more angry and downright belligerent he became. 

As always, he didn’t see his daughter, shaking under his grip of her collar.

No, he saw the extra mouth he’d been having to feed.

He saw the reason his wife was dead. 

He saw red. 

By the time Sevika found her words to even begin attempting to answer his barrage of questions and demands, his fist was already connecting with her face, his grip on her shirt the only thing saving her from ending up sprawled on the bathroom floor. 

It was going to be a beating for the books.

You didn’t even realize it when she’d laid you down in the bed on the pillows, tucking you in, until she was sliding into bed next to you, wrapping her arms around you from behind with a kiss to the back of your shoulder, “Hm?”

She shook her head, reaching a hand into your robe to hold one of your breasts as another kiss was planted to the side of your neck, “Go to sleep, mama. I just had to go get out of my work clothes.”  

You let out a little groan, turning in her arms to nestle into her, your face tucked under her chin as you mumbled, “Hmmm... g’night.... love you...”  

With a little chuckle she pressed kisses into your hair, rubbing your lower back as she whispered against you, “Good night, my love. Sleep well.”  

You didn’t sleep very well at all.  

Along with the aches and random pains in weird places in your body- a tugging in your lower abdomen that also had a random stabbing along with it, back pain, an almost constant headache, and just a general discomfort and ache in your body- you also had this constant metal taste that was like having a mouthful of rusty change in your mouth at all times.

You were constantly waking up throughout the night from the discomfort, the violent urge to brush your teeth to purge your mouth of the vile metallic tang plaguing you. This, compounded with your incessant gagging, had you growing nauseous with the mere thought of your toothbrush starting to make you want to dry-heave.

You were presently standing over the sink, tears in your eyes as you tried to prepare yourself to gargle some mouthwash after having thrown up for about the fifth time since you woke up in the middle of the night.

Sevika, ever the stony sleeper, had no idea until she rolled over, finding your cold spot in the bed next to her. She groaned, calling out in a sleep-filled voice, “Baby, what’re you doin’? Come back so we can cuddle...”

You huffed, gripping onto the counter of the bathroom sink, fighting the urge to dry-heave again, “I’ll be back in a second....”

You could hear her trudging footsteps coming closer to the bathroom until she was coming up behind you, rubbing your back and pulling hair out of your face, concern and sleep both written on her features, “What’s wrong, baby?”  

“I just.... I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” you shook your head, pushing her hand away before grabbing the capful of mouthwash.  

“You can’t lie to me, dream girl. You’re crying, you’re pale... you look like shit and you’re supposed to be asleep right now. Talk to me.”  

“I’m in pain, gagging now has nausea with it, I just threw up, so now I gotta wash that out of my mouth, but that’s still not going to get rid of this fucking taste in my mouth and I just-”  

“Hey,” she moved to stand right in front of you, hands on your arms as she rubbed them to try and calm you back down, “Avalanche, you’re spiraling, dreamy. Take a deep breath with me and we’ll go sit down and talk, okay?”  

You nodded as you looked up at her, taking a shaky but somewhat deep breath along with her as she nodded along, continuing to rub your arms with her thumbs tracing circles.  

You let out a hiccup when you went to exhale and the second the tears started to brew again, she shook her head, “No, no, eyes on me... You’re safe... you’re okay, I promise. I’m here. You are okay, you’re doing so well, my love. Let’s try again, okay? Deep breaths.”  

It took a few more tries before you finally relaxed in her hold, wrapping your arms around her. She brought one hand up to play in your hair, the pads of her fingers rubbing your scalp as her claws on her mech hand trailed lightly up and down your back.  

She ended up taking you to the kitchen, sitting you down as she made you a glass of water with two and a half ice cubes- just the way you liked it after an episode like that, holding your free hand and kissing your knuckles and fingertips as you drank with your other hand.  

When you sat the glass down, she stepped between your legs, still stroking her thumb over the back of your knuckles, “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll talk. If you don’t wanna talk, we can go back to sleep. If you want a distraction, we can watch something, or I could read you something. Just let me know, okay?”  

You nodded, reaching up with your other arm for her to come closer. She pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaning into the embrace, wrapping you up in her arms. The two of you remained that way for a few quiet moments until you looked up at her with a sniffle, your chin on her chest, “Sev?”  

“Yes, dreamy?”  

“Can you read to me in bed?”  

“Absolutely, baby. Do you wanna stay with me while I grab a book or go get comfy?” You held onto her tighter and she nodded, stroking your hair, “Alright, I got you.” She moved so that she could give you a piggyback while she grabbed a book. She ran her finger over the titles, moving on to the next one when you let out a little ‘mh-mh’ sound at each one until giving a nod when she got to a book you wanted to hear.  

Once you were both back in bed, Sevika sat up against the headboard with you lying on your stomach between her legs curled up into her chest, she started reading the book, her voice still rather raspy from sleep. She held the book in one hand, her other one up at your face, stroking your cheek with the back of her fingers and only moving to flip the page.

Eventually, you closed your eyes, enjoying the vibrations of her voice in her chest beneath your head and the feel of her fingers on your face. Unconsciously, you took hold of her hand, fiddling with her fingers. She paused in her reading to check in, “You okay?”  

“My mouth feels empty,” you lamented softly, the traces of whining laced in your voice.  

She kissed your temple, “You’ve got my fingers, mama. Do you want me to keep reading?”  

Sevika was no stranger to your occasional bouts like this. You hadn’t had a panic attack like that in a while, but usually when you did, you came out of them feeling very subby, not saying much, and your oral fixation would kick up, usually leading you to say things like ‘my mouth feels empty’. 

You nodded in response to her question as you closed your eyes again, softly sucking and gnawing on her index finger. She smiled as your breathing evened out, setting the book aside as she pulled the covers over you both, allowing you to keep her finger before she picked the book back up.

A little groan left you as you took one more finger into your mouth, shifting atop her with your right arm wrapped around her. She shushed you softly, pressing a kiss to your hair, “I’m right here, dream girl... I’ll never let you go... promise...”

First, he punched.  

Blow after blow into her face.  

To this day, Sevika still has the slightest taste of blood that crops up in her mouth for no apparent reason from time to time.  

It was clear that he was just making himself angrier with each hit, the strikes growing more violent and frenzied the more he spoke, barking at her about bringing another unwanted mouth into the household, about how she was still going to have to work. How could she be so foolish as to allow something like this? Half of his yelling barely made any sense but one thing was clear- he was saying that she’d gotten pregnant on purpose, trying to get out of pulling her weight around here. 

His grip started to shake on her collar until he’d thrown her to the floor, too lazy to bend over and keep using his hands, so here came the infamous worker’s boots, smashing into her stomach and chest with seemingly reckless abandon- yet somehow still managing a concentration of kicks to her stomach. Sevika curled in on herself slightly, instinctively going to guard her stomach which left her chest open.  

There was a sick crunch with each kick there, blood bubbling up out of her mouth as her body was wracked with coughs, the blood spattering across the floor with each one. Her father stopped for a few moments, leaning against the wall to catch his breath as he wheezed. 

"You... are fuckin'.... pathetic..." he huffed, turning back around to prod her face with his foot. 

He spat down at her as she lay there, voice gruff as he all but growled, “Get the fuck up.”  

Sevika was already weak when he came in, having been throwing up essentially all morning before he'd come in to find her when he got home. It hurt to even breathe, ribs threatening to puncture her lungs with every shallow breath she managed, let alone for her to actually get up off the floor. 

She didn’t move.  

He gave her a shove with his foot, pushing her onto her back as his voice got louder, “Did you not hear me, bitch? Get the fuck up!”  

Tears brewed at the back of her eyes. She always says the back because she learned early on not to cry. He hated that almost more than he hated her. 

With a great amount of effort, she rolled onto her side, then her stomach before bracing her hands against the floor to push herself up, low grunts and huffs escaping her the whole way.  

She barely got a few inches off the floor before he used his foot once again to kick her, knocking her back down, “Get up.”  

It was getting harder to hold those tears.  

She wasn’t foolish enough to hope that actually ending up pregnant would change things. She never hoped for anything. But some subconscious part of her did. While she had no plans on keeping the child, not that her father would let her anyway, something deep within her secretly wanted to.  

Her arms were wobbly, weak as she started to push up again. Each time she started to get up as he was demanding, he’d kick up under her, right into her stomach.  

She knew what he was doing.  

She didn’t want to lose the baby.  

Not like this.  

But she couldn’t do anything.  

For years after his death, she berated herself for not killing him sooner.  

After all if she had...

To say you had a disgusting cocktail of things seemingly going wrong with you would’ve been an understatement. 

You were locked in an almost unending cycle of sorts. First, you’d feel so nauseous it was almost like you were seasick. Then you’d throw up, which meant you had to brush your teeth after, lest the unceasing metallic taste be joined by vomit, which meant more gagging and possible throwing up. Then to make you feel even worse, now your gums were bleeding. 

And there was the pains. 

Sevika could barely keep up, but she was doing her best. She went into work less often, explaining the situation to Silco. When she did go in, he kept her for shorter hours, having her back home to you before afternoon. 

You guys were still awaiting your now questionably late period when you called from the bathroom one morning, “Baby?” 

“Yes, mama?” 

“Can you bring me a liner from the closet?” 

“You dropped?” 

“I think?” 

She entered the room with a liner in one hand and fresh panties in the other, “You think?” 

“It’s never been this light before. It’s not spotting, but it’s not my usual first day either,” you explained, letting her see the red and brown that now stained the panties you were wearing initially before you tossed them across the bathroom and into the hamper, taking the fresh ones and the liner from her with a soft ‘thank you’ as you changed.

She leaned against the sink, clearly studying you, trying to rack her brain for any sort of explanation. 

“This just started?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Hm.” 

“What are you thinking about over there? I’m not dying, am I?” 

She looked at you like she could kill you before whatever this was did, “Don’t talk like that. I’m just trying to make sense of this. Perhaps we should visit your mom...” 

The last line was muttered more to herself, but you responded all the same. Your mother was a doctor. More than that, she was a pretty damn good one, and she specialized in childbirth and care. She’d helped numerous women through what could’ve otherwise been fatal pregnancies, not to mention you come from a very... fertile line of women. 

“Would that make you feel better if I did?” 

She nodded immediately, “Yes, please. If anyone will know what’s going on with you, it’s definitely her.” 

“You know that’s a six-day trip, right?” 

“Don’t care. I’ll work something out with Silco if need be, but I need to know what’s going on with my girl. Start packing when you get out of here, I’ll be back in 45, okay?” 

You huffed, grumbling to yourself, “Watch it just be somethin’ stupid."

“Nothing’s stupid when it comes to you, dream girl. Don’t make me fuck a reminder into you when I get back.” 

“You’re leavin’ without my kisses? Do y’even love me anymore,” you wailed dramatically. 

You could almost sense her playful eye-roll as you heard her steps clunking back toward your shared bedroom. She bent down to meet you as you placed the liner into your new panties, pressing two kisses to your lips, “Happy now?” 

“No,” you pouted, your bottom lip poked out as you looked up at her sadly. 

She stooped down to your level, face softening, “What’s wrong, my love?” 

“You only gave me two kisses....” you whined, dead serious. 

Her face fell and she pushed your knee, “Don’t scare me like that, I thought something was really wrong, dreamy. Mmmmwah, better?” 

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you as she planted a very audible kiss on your lips, nodding, “Yes, thank you. And insufficient kisses it very much serious business.” 

“Yeah, when it’s you depriving me, not the other way around. Hurry and get ready, okay? The sooner we figure out what’s going on with you, the better.” 

“I know, I know. I’ll be fine. Go talk your way into going with me,” you waved her on, getting up from the toilet as you flushed with one hand, turning the sink on with the other to wash your hands. 

She got maybe three steps away from the door before she was back in the bathroom, tugging your face to hers for a searing- almost teasing- kiss as she muttered before pulling away, “I love you, lock the doors and windows, I’ll be back soon, okay?” 

Despite already missing her presence with her standing right in front of you, you managed a smile, pecking her lips once more, “Hurry, Sevi. The longer it takes you to leave, the longer I have to be here by myself.” 

“Say it back first,” she mumbled against your lips, the two of you still trading kisses back and forth. 

You pressed a lengthier kiss to her lips, looking up at her with a whisper, “I love you...” 

She tilted her head to rest her forehead against yours, closing her eyes, “I’ll be back, okay?” 

“Sev-” 

“I’m fine. I’ll be back.” 

She quickly suppressed the brewing tears, heading to go ask Silco for some time off to make the trip.

Sevika spent that night on the bathroom floor, bloodied and bruised, still coughing up blood periodically as she cradled her stomach, praying to whoever was out there that she didn’t die on that floor. 

She didn’t die. 

Even more, neither did her baby. 

Sevika wasn’t excited. 

She wasn’t happy to be bringing this life into the world. 

Sevika was petrified about the mere idea of it all. 

If she kept the baby, there was the chance her father would kill the baby, or worse, the baby would end up being abused just as she was. She couldn’t have that happen. 

But did she truly want to give it away? 

If the baby was lucky, it would end up being sent topside to Piltover. It’d be safe there as much as she hated to think about her child ending up being a topsider. 

But more likely than not, the kid would end up just in the system. Sent off from home to home around the Lanes. Or even worse, the kid could end up being one of the many orphans on the street. 

Sevika didn���t know what she wanted. Or what she would do. 

To make matters worse, her father acted as if she weren’t even pregnant in the first place. 

She was still working, now having to do even more ‘work’ to make up for the “lackluster performance” from the week she first found out she was pregnant. She was also working at home again, something she hadn’t done much since she’d become an adult. 

It took months for her to begin showing, and by the time she had, it was almost as if her father intended for her to keep the baby. The physical abuse was now reduced to the occasional slap or hair snatch here and there, and though the verbal and emotional abuse intensified in its place, he’d begun seemingly making room for the new addition. 

He was by no means happy about the prospect of his daughter having a child. But the way he saw it, that was another worker to bring money in to fund his drinking, gambling, and other vices. 

The way Sevika saw it? She'd rather die than let her child go through the same things she did. Whether this was something she wanted or not, she knew that if she had to have this child, she’d protect it with her life.

It’s nowhere near the first time you’ve had to make this trip to see your mom. 6 days there, 6 days back. 

The majority of your journey is spent with your symptoms playing a twisted game of roulette, alternating between which ones will be your biggest issue that day. 

You’re a constant mess of tears, throwing up, gagging, whining, and for the life of you, you cannot stop peeing, only to end up releasing barely a trickle if even a few drops. 

You’re tired. 

Sevika is also tired. 

Your wife wasn’t much of a caregiver when the two of you met. She wasn’t the worst, but it was clear that she was still very much learning. By now she's got it pretty much mastered.

She’s been holding you through everything, offering up massages, cuddles, and her fingers whenever you’re starting to get too overwhelmed by all the different compounding symptoms of what’s looking more and more like a pregnancy. 

That’s when the nosebleeds started. 

You’ve never had a nosebleed before. Aside from getting your nose broken that one time, you’d only ever dealt with Sevika’s nosebleeds that she gets during the winter from her nostrils drying out. But you? Never had it happen. 

However, you knew what it meant. 

It ran in the family. Bloody noses and sensitive- sometimes bleeding- gums were some of the earliest pregnancy symptoms within your family. If you didn’t know based on your other symptoms, all other weird yet slightly common symptoms of pregnancy, you definitely knew now. 

You were both in your hotel room, the last stop before the final half-day stretch that would get you to your mother’s house, your back to her front as she trailed her fingers over your stomach, muttering affirmations and praises under her breath at how good you’d been holding up when you felt what you thought was your nose running. 

You reached up to swipe at your nose with a sniff, pulling your sleeve away to find red now smeared across it, “Oh no...” 

She sat up with you, eyes going wide, “Baby?” 

You held your nose, pinching the bottom of your nostrils as you cupped your other hand under your chin, holding your head forward while running to the bathroom. 

It’s not an overwhelming amount of blood. You’ve seen Sevika come home with much worse from particularly bloody brawls at The Last Drop for sure. But to your wife? You may as well be dying. 

Sev is right on your heels, a face towel in her hands already being run under some warm tap water as she pulls you in front of her, taking hold of your chin with her mech hand and assessing the situation as she cleans your face with the towel in her other one. 

“This isn’t normal.... d’you think we can leave tonight? Get a jump on some answers? I’m worried about you.” 

“Baby, it’s just a nosebleed. I won’t bleed out by morning. It’s not even bleeding anymore.” 

She shakes her head, turning your face side-to-side face for signs of any bruising or other things that may be outwardly wrong with you. When she finds none, she starts to gently prod at your nose with a finger, pushing against the bridge and around, “You don’t get it, dreamy. You don’t get nosebleeds. I get those like an orphan gets the cold and flu. Not you... I don’t know a single person in the Lanes who’s just never had a nosebleed like you... I’m scared.” 

While you were now very certain about being pregnant, you wanted to wait to tell her, so you simply took hold of her arms- standard panic protocol between the two of you- as you spoke gently, “Baby, there’s a lot of things going on with me that just aren’t normal for me, but that’s why we’re on this trip. We’ll get answers in the morning, okay? Breathe for me, deep breaths.” 

Sevika’s barrage of questions and worries fizzle out on her tongue as she locks in with you, mumbling a small, “Avalanche,” as she takes a deep breath in time with your own. 

“There we go, my love. What can I do for you to make you feel a bit better right now? If you wanna get back on the road, we can. Or we can go cuddle and I’ll braid your hair. Or we can watch our show. Whenever you’re ready, just let me know, okay?” 

She closed her eyes as she took a final breath, opening them once she blew it back out, “Can you braid my hair and we watch our show?” 

“Of course, baby. Come on, relax time. If my nose bleeds again tonight, we’ll get up and head on immediately.” 

The two of you ended up back in bed, Sevika’s head in your lap as you gave her a few braids to pull back into two little pigtails in place of her usual half pony, you guys’ show playing in the background of her giving you updates on the things she’s gotta do for Silco when you two return back home. 

“And then he was literally all whiny talking about how he needs me to come in at some point when we get back so I can go head up the factory and take stock.” 

You snickered, pulling a hair tie around her first little pigtail, “We need to get this man a calculator class or something. Oh, remind me it’s time for a trim when we get home, your undercut is practically long enough for me to braid it too.” 

She rolled her eyes, rolling over in your lap to face you so you could do the other side of her hair, “Oh hush, it’s not that long.” 

“Nah, I’m just being extra.” 

“I love you...” 

“I love you too.” 

She squeezed her eyes closed, gritting her teeth, “I love you...” 

You noticed the tense in her jaw, voice softening, “I love you more, baby.” 

“Avalanche,” she said meekly, fist gripping your shirt.

You set your comb aside, pulling her up and into your arms as you wrapped your legs around her, allowing her to bury her face in your chest. Slowly rocking side to side, you stroked her hair with one hand, holding her tightly with your other arm as you pressed kisses to her temple and along her hairline, “I got you, Vika.... I’ll never let you go.... never leave... You’re safe... I love you... I’m always going to love you... nothing you do will change that... We’ve been married for so long now... We’re planning babies... We’re still gonna get our homestead... And you can have your animals... I’ll have my fruits and veggies... Me ‘n you, baby...” 

You kept whispering little reassurances, reminding her about you guys’ life plan, the things the two of you have already accomplished together, the ones still to come, all while rocking her and playing in her hair. She was holding onto you for dear life. You’d been waiting for it to hit her again, knowing what time of year it was. 

When her breathing evened out and her grip on you relaxed just the tiniest bit, you pulled back slightly, cleaning the crust from her eyes with your shirt before pulling the article off, tossing it to the floor. You finished her cute little pigtails while she slept, pausing to press a kiss to her nose every time she started to stir a little bit. 

You watched a few more episodes of you guys’ show, making sure to put it back to where it was when she fell asleep before you relaxed as well, pulling the covers up over the two of you. 

With a final kiss to her nose, this one earning a soft smile in her sleep, you leaned your head against hers before following her to sleep, mumbling, “Sweet dreams, my love... You’re gonna be a great mother...”

Pregnancy was... well... 

Sevika wasn’t sure how to describe her pregnancy. She was in such a weird place after the initial day of her father finding out that she wasn’t sure what to make of anything. 

One moment, he was “caring” for her- which really just meant not beating the shit out of her and pimping her out- and the next he was either acting like she didn’t exist or, again, human punching bag. 

As far as symptoms, her vomiting didn’t last very long, took her maybe two weeks after that day for her to get a handle on forcing her morning sickness back down no matter what. 

She really didn’t get the chance to think about it much. Sure, she had aches and pains. Sure, she had cravings. Sure, she was in and out of bathrooms like it was nobody’s business. But, those were all just minor- trivial things that ranged from annoying to slightly inconvenient at times. 

The hard part was delivery. 

Sevika delivered her daughter herself. 

Alone, in a back alley, deep in the very heart of Zaun. 

Giving birth hurt more than anything she’d ever felt before and anything she’d ever feel after. 

Sevika didn’t know much about her body. 

Besides the hateful things spewed about it from her father, the lustful words from her “clients”, and the few things she’d managed to sneak and read back when she was younger, she actually didn’t know much about how her body worked, let alone pregnancy. 

But something seemed to come over her. 

It was as if suddenly she knew everything she needed to have her baby safely. 

Yes, she was giving birth in a dirty alleyway- the whole of Zaun was dirty, it was unavoidable- but even through the pain she was... calm. 

She wasn’t worried about someone finding her and interfering. She wasn’t worried about her father. 

All she cared about was making sure her baby made it out into this world. 

And she did it. 

With nothing but a lighter, a shoelace, a pocketknife, and some stolen whiskey, she delivered her baby. 

A girl. 

She always wanted to have a daughter when she was little. 

She told herself that she’d have a girl so she could give her all the love and care that her father never showed her. 

She named her Mieko. 

Sevika didn’t know who the father was before now. 

And even though Mieko was but a newborn, she knew. 

This baby belonged to her father.

The next morning was a rush. 

Sev wanted to get to your mom’s as soon as possible. She didn’t say anything about last night aside from asking if your nose had bled any more after she fell asleep, and you didn’t mention it either. 

But the cloud still hung. 

You noticed her fiddling with the two shell casings that hung from the same chain as her wedding ring. Every so often her hand would stray up to her neckline, fingers practically searching for the items that sat just beneath the fabric of her shirt. Each time you just gave her mech hand a little squeeze, kissing the back of it just the same as you would her flesh hand. 

She was thankful you didn’t pry. You never did, actually. Sure, you knew what the casings held within them, and even more you knew exactly what it meant when she started to play with them, but you didn’t bother her about it. You gave her breath and space to grieve in her own way, never pushing for answers, never making her feel weak for showing her sadness. It was one of the many reasons she loved you so much. 

Naturally, the somber mood slowly started to lift the closer the two of you got to your mother’s place of residence. You knew Sev was only mostly trying to distract herself, but you also knew how much she and your mother adored one another. 

Presently, she was still fiddling with that chain of hers, rubbing the casings between her fingers as she spoke, “D’you think she’ll try and keep us here if it turns out we’re just having a baby?” 

“As if you’d be opposed. The way you two act, people would swear I was the one who married in.” 

She chuckled, sticking her tongue out at you, “Don’t be mad at me because moms prefers me. I’m just that guy.” 

You rolled your eyes, playfully mushing her in the face, “Literally die. Don’t ever say some stupid shit like that again.” 

“Or what?” 

“No booty.”

“What?!” She cried incredulously, immediately on her knees, “C’mon, mama, you know I was just playing. ‘M sorry...” she trailed, looking up at you with puppy eyes. 

You couldn’t help the snicker that escaped you as you pulled her up by her chin, being sure to press your lips to hers when she got close enough before she was once again standing over you, “You gotta be nice to me, okay? I’m 65 percent sure mom wrote me out of her will to put you in it.” 

She rolled her eyes playfully before leaning down to kiss you once more, “Oh, please, even if she did you already know I’d just give it all to you anyway.” 

“True, true.” 

“You ready?” 

“Yeah, are you?” 

“Hell yeah. If you end up not being pregnant we’ll just try again when we get home... so long as you’re not dying or something.” 

“What if I was?” 

“Don’t make me beat your ass, dreamy.” 

You gasped dramatically, “You tryna eat my ass?!” 

“I most certainly would hope not.” 

The two of you immediately forgot about the little argument that was about to start as you both raced to get to your mom first from where she stood on her porch. 

“Mommy,” you exclaimed as you launched yourself into her arms. 

She let out a dramatized grunt as she wrapped you up in her embrace, squeezing you tightly, “I wish you’d have told me you were coming before I felt you. Would’ve made your favorites.” 

“Sorry, it was kind of an emergency.” 

Sevika cut in, tugging you out of the way, “Yeah, kinda like you hogging moms right now.” 

Your mother snickered, squeezing Sev just the same, “You two need to be nice and stop fighting over me all the time. You both know that I love you equally.” 

“But Sev’s not even-” 

“What did I just say, gummy?” 

You huffed, folding your arms as you grumbled under your breath, “I can’t stand either of you.” 

When the two finally released each other, your mother turned her attention back to you, raising a brow, “Sevi, baby, can you do me a favor?” 

“Anything, moms.” 

“Go to the garden and gather the vegetables I’ll need for stir fry, please. I’ll be in the kitchen after I finish with this one,” she requested, eyes never leaving you as she seemed to be scrutinizing you. Sev left with a kiss to your cheek and another to your mom’s temple before she practically skipped away into the garden like the overgrown kid she really was. 

“Do you have something you wanna tell me?” 

“What do you mean, ma?” 

“You’re choosing that card? Step into my office, gummy.” 

You bit your lip as you followed after her into her home office, fiddling with the hem of your hoodie, “I swear to you, I don’t think I’ve got anything worse than a cold-” 

“Sit down,” she instructs, not looking to play these games with you. You shut up immediately, sitting back as she takes your vitals, “Last period?” 

“9 weeks ago.” 

“6 weeks late, huh?” 

“I know what you’re thinking and-” 

“Did you know I’ve been dreaming about fish for a month now? Tiny little fish swimming around with tadpoles.” 

You looked up at her as she handed you a cup, “Seriously, ma? I’m literally your only gay child.” 

She raised a brow, “What does that have to do with me? Piss. I’m testing everyone, it hasn’t just been you.” 

“So you tested Ky?” 

“Sure did.” 

You rolled your eyes the moment your back was turned, a slipper promptly smacking you in the back of the head, “Ow! I didn’t even say anything.” 

“You rolled your eyes and you were grumbling in your head about me making your brother take a pregnancy test. Obviously, I tested his wife, genius.” 

You smacked, rubbing the back of your head, “I didn’t even-” she raised her other slipper and you promptly shut your mouth before grabbing her slipper from earlier, handing it back to her. “I started getting the nosebleeds,” you mumbled softly. 

She looked up from her clipboard, voice and eyes softer than before, “Dear, why you know-” 

“That it means I’m pregnant? Yeah... I know...” 

She set her things aside, wrapping her arms around you, “Oh my little girl... all grown up... about to have a little girl of her own.” 

You chuckled through the tears that had begun to fall, “We don’t even know if it’s a girl yet. Not even close to finding that out.” 

 She waved your argument away, rubbing your back, “Did you forget who your mother is?” 

You didn’t answer, holding her a little tighter. Your mom softened, voice quiet as she questioned, “What’s wrong, gummy?” 

“I’m scared...” 

“Of?” 

“All of it.... being a mom... having a kid in the heart of Zaun... what if... what if Sevika falls out of love with me? Or I fuck up and lose the baby somehow? Or-” 

“Excuse me? I know this isn’t how I raised you to think.” 

“I know, but-” 

“No buts. You’re scared of being a mom? Comes with the territory. You’re scared of having your kid in the heart of Zaun? Guess what, baby girl, that’s where my mom had me, and look at how I turned out. You think you’ll somehow breathe wrong and lose the baby, I already know because I know you- you won’t. I’ll check you two out properly before you guys go back home just to be sure everything is fine and in working order with you and your body and the baby.” 

“As for Sevika? Sweet girl, if you think that girl is going anywhere away from you, then you clearly have a lot of learning to do. She looks at you like you’re the very air she needs to breathe; as if you hung the sun, moon, and stars just for her. That girl loves you even more than I do, and you’re my baby,” she chimed, playfully pinching your cheek, “Make no mistake, there’s nothing that could make her fall out of love with you. Not this one. And by Janna, if she does- call me.” 

You chuckled through your tears, letting out a little sigh, “I got this?” 

She gave you a kiss to your forehead, “Yes, sweet girl. You’ve got this. And I’ll be here the whole time, okay? And you’ve got a wife that loves you... You’ll be okay. And if you ever want to move back up here at any time during your pregnancy or after, let me know. My door is always open, you know this.” 

“I know....” 

The two of you stood like that for a good while before you mumbled, “Mommy?” 

“Yes, gummy?” 

“Thank you.” 

She let out a soft sigh, shaking her head as she held you a little tighter, “Anything for my girl. I’ll keep the news to myself so you can tell my other daughter, alright?” 

“Thanks... I love you.” 

She planted an audible kiss to your forehead, “Of course, little one. I love you more. Now clean that pretty little face and get yourself together. I’ll tell your wife you’re using the bathroom while we get dinner going, okay?” 

You let out a happy little sigh, giving your mother one last good squeeze, “Thanks, mommy.” 

She gave your stomach a little pat before turning to leave, “Don’t take too long or you know she’ll come find you. Also, you have a cold, sit your ass on the couch when you come out and don’t you dare set foot in my kitchen, you hear?” 

“Yes, mommy. I’ll be out in a second.” 

The door closed behind her and you placed a hand on your stomach letting out a little breath, “Now I’ve gotta figure out how to tell your mom about you, angel.”

2 years. 

Sevika had been hiding her daughter from her father successfully for 2 years. 

She doesn’t know how he found her. She didn’t know then and, to this day, she doesn’t know now. 

She’d returned to her childhood home from a day of “work”, heart falling from her stomach as Mieko came tottering to her, wrapping around her leg. 

For the longest time, fear was the only word she could use to describe that day, but no... it was something more than that. Sevika wasn’t just afraid. She was horrified. Petrified even. 

How long had her daughter been alone with her father? How did he find her? How long had he known about her? Was this his first time coming into contact with her? 

A million questions and terrible scenarios ran through her mind, the soft pat of her daughter’s hand on her leg pulling her from the slow descent into panic. She couldn’t help but smile at her baby, picking her up and smothering her in kisses as the little girl dissolved into giggles. She could feel her father’s eyes watching her every move. 

“You take her to the back room.” His voice was gruff as always, words short and to the point. 

Sevika froze. She knew what was coming for her if she let go of her daughter and faced him alone. She didn’t move, arms clutching onto her child as her heart raced even faster than her thoughts. 

There had to be a way out of this. 

Her father hated repeating himself. His anger was palpable, a churning storm ready to roll through the house as he slammed his fist down, “Back room, now!” 

The loud noise and his elevated voice scared Mieko. She started crying. He hates crying. 

Sevika slowly backed toward the front door, holding a crying Mieko to her chest as she tried to quiet her. 

Wrong. 

Her father was in front of her in an instant, large hands reaching for Mieko. Sevika went to turn around, run back out the door, only to have her face smashed into it, her daughter torn from her arms by his other hand. He shook the crying child, screaming at her to shut up. 

Disoriented with blurry vision, Sevika stood on unsure feet, trying to reach for her daughter back. 

She felt that familiar tiny hand clutch her finger for the briefest of moments before a shot rang out. 

She saw red.

Sevika’s hand strayed to the shell casings around her neck frequently throughout dinner, her eyes misty and sort of far away. Your mother looked to you, wondering what was up with her daughter in law, but you waved off her concern, stroking your thumb over Sevika’s thigh in a show of silent comfort each time she withdrew from the conversation. 

After dinner was finished and the dishes had been put away, your mother left for bed with a kiss to each of your foreheads. You sat on the couch with your wife, rolling a cigar for her as she curled around you, her flesh hand at your stomach, tracing patterns over the bit of skin poking from beneath your top. 

You placed the ‘gar between your lips, lighting it before taking a hit and holding it out for your wife. 

She took it, not hitting it, but studying it before she took a hit, sighing upon her exhale of the smoke. 

“How are you feelin’,” you asked softly, playing with her semi-wavy hair that had been freed from the braids and pigtails you’d made the night prior. 

“Stressed... worried...” she trailed off, voice falling quieter as she passed the blunt back to you, “sad...” 

“Where do you wanna start?” 

She shrugged, unwrapping herself from around you to sit up beside you, “Dunno... it’s all just a lot right now...” 

You leaned your head on her shoulder, taking a couple more hits of the blunt before you passed it back to her, taking up interest in her mech hand as you started to fiddle with the metal, “Okay.... what’s got you stressed?” 

“Everything...” 

“But in particular at this moment?” 

She didn’t answer for a few moments, eyes clouding over again. You gave her mech hand a squeeze, whispering gently, “Hey...” 

“Hm?” 

“You keep leaving me... Talk to me...” 

“Is it possible to miss someone you’ve never met?” 

Her mom. 

You gave a small nod, “Entirely possible.” 

“It’s like.... this longing... But it’s more than that because how can you long for something you never truly had? Even worse to miss someone who... who’s not here anymore because of you...” 

Her last sentence was like a ghost, the words dissipating the moment they left her lips. 

“Sevi...” 

“It’s fine, I’m-” 

“No, you aren’t, baby... And you don’t have to be. It’s okay to not be okay... But I wish you’d stop faulting yourself for that...” 

She let out a sigh, holding the blunt out for you, “I know... Just.... can we talk about something else? Or just cuddle and smoke?” 

You nodded as you took another hit, “We can do that.” 

The silence that fell was comfortable, the two of you sharing the blunt back and forth until it was nothing but a roach left. You leaned to place it in the ashtray on the coffee table before moving to lay aginst Sev’s chest. 

Your body was buzzing. It had been a while since you last smoked and you felt that familiar sensation of both floating and sinking into your wife’s body as you lay atop her, her arms wrapped loosely around your waist, flesh hand trazing lazy patterns along your spine. 

You tilted your head slightly to look up at her, her eyes fixated on the ceiling, but not really- she was thinking. 

“You have such pretty eyes,” you whispered. 

Her grin was immediate as she moved her vision down to you, those silver orbs darkened in her high state, “You think so?” 

You nodded, curling further into her as you closed your own eyes, “So pretty... I hope the baby gets your eyes.”

Sevika is known for being a woman who revels in violence. 

The Scary lady of Zaun. 

She’s the one who kicks ass and takes names- no questions. 

But it wasn’t always like that. 

The shot flipped a switch in her. 

To be quite honest, she’s not sure what exactly killed him. 

Maybe it was her beating him. 

Maybe it was her bashing his skull into the wall. 

Maybe she’d broken his ribs with her kicks, punctured a lung or even better his heart. 

She didn’t know. 

But when the rage had settled and her father lie dead on the floor, she saw her little girl. 

She crumpled, those tears she’d been holding back for so long in her life ripped from her as she held her girl in her arms. 

Those tiny fingers wrapped around her pinky for the last time, matching silver orbs growing dim as Mieko took her final breath in her mother’s arms.

Sevika’s heart stopped in her chest as she froze beneath you. 

You sat up, looking down to find her eyes glossed over, a single tear escaping, “Sev?” 

Her eyes were wide, heart hammering away in her chest, threatening to burst from it as she just barely managed to speak, “You... you’re...” 

You took her hands, nodding as you whispered, “Yeah, baby... I’m pregnant.” 

You were holding back tears of your own. You’d only seen your wife cry once, and that was on your wedding day. Sevika crying was as rare as you getting a nosebleed. 

You cupped her face in your hands, wiping away her tears as they fell. She seemed frozen, eyes faraway again as she whispered feebly, “You...” 

Sevika didn’t know what to say. She had dreamed about this moment, played it out a million different ways in her head. She just knew she’d wrap you up in her arms, a mess of kisses and giggles. But now that it was here, the two of you under the light of the fire in your mom’s living room, she was stuck. 

Her eyes focused on you as you spoke, tears in your eyes, “Hey, come back to me? You okay?” 

No, she wasn’t okay. 

“You’re pregnant...” she whispered, still sounding like she didn’t believe it. 

You let out a soft chuckle, nodding as you leaned in to kiss a line down her nose, ending with her lips, “We made a baby, Sev...” 

There were stars in her eyes as she stared at you. She was never one for flowery language, she’d tried, but she always stumbled over her words or felt like she’d just come off cheesy. Her hands moved to your waist, thumbs stroking the sides of your stomach as she looked up at you, “We did...” 

“We’re gonna be parents...” 

“We are...” she whispered, her words thick as she blinked away a fresh batch of tears. 

You didn’t wipe them away this time. Instead, you pulled her closer, wrapping your arms around her as she tucked her face into the crook of your neck. If you felt her tears soak through your shirt, you didn’t say anything, fingers combing through her hair as you rocked softly. 

Sevika was swimming through her thoughts in her mind. She was petrified and ecstatic at the same time, but the fear seemed to overtake the happiness by an astounding wave, causing her to press further into you. You simply wrapped your arms tighter around her, pressing a kiss into her hair as you rubbed her back to keep her grounded. 

Her mind was running about a million miles a minute. Flashbacks of her own pregnancy, her labor and delivery in that cramped alley... the few moments of peace and happiness shared with her daughter.... Mieko’s eyes as the life leaked from them... 

Then she thought about you. The life the two of you have settled into together. The day that started all of this when the two of you decided to try for a baby. About all the shit you’ve had to put up with thus far and all the things to come. 

She pulled back to look at you, silver eyes glistening still in the lowlight, pupils blown as she found her voice, whispering under her breath, “Thank you...” 

Your eyes caught on your mother, a soft smile on your face as she mouthed, “I told you so.” 

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