#recovery culture

[izayaorihahaha]

it's me, ikebukuro tumblr, the terrible rat man that lived inside the c. 2015 fictionkin drama

(i'm sorry, this ended up getting serious at the end, idk what happened.)

I won't actually be excusing myself from when I actively used thus url or anything, but to anyone who stumbles in here, dazed as hell:

Hi! It's 2024 & yes, this is the same person originally behind this url. It's on a sideblog of an old account, which I still have access to, & I posted a few months ago as a silly little gag.

I'm in my 30s now & I am not reviving this blog, nor do I have any desire to behave the way I did 7-10 years ago on tumblr. I've all but abandoned social media in general at this point, & I think you should too.

For the insatiable curious: I'm still queer, I'm still in a relationship with the same partner(Just the "kindating" one. We're married now, even!), still disabled, still a ~kinny~, & I still fuck up now & then.

To anyone who was on the receiving end of my behaviour before or during the heyday of this url(or the couple of years after I stopped using it), especially anyone still affected by anything I said or did: I am sorry.

You are not, under any circumstances, obliged to forgive me. Apologising doesn't excuse the way I treated anyone, or the self destructive advice I shared with & encouraged in others.

I said a lot of things about personality disorders, in particular, which I think were especially damaging. In apologising now, I mostly hope to make very clear to anyone still trapped in that anti-recovery mindset that personal accountability does still apply to those of us with cluster B disorders. We're responsible for our actions & our actions often are inappropriate & certainly can & do hurt people. It's not alright just because we have [_________] Disorder.

That said, I do hope a belated apology can help anyone still holding onto the damage I did to them. If it can bring anyone even a little bit of relief, it was worth posting this. I don't plan to post here again.

Take care of yourselves out there. I love you! 🫶

[orbitposting]

DID but not as in presence of "evil murderer alter", DID as in buying two drinks instead of one because someone came to front after seeing a blue raspberry slushie and DEMANDED to have it, but the alter who walked all the way to the gas station refused to leave without getting what they wanted to get initially.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Another piece of diet culture to unlearn: that eating an "unhealthy" food negates the benefits of other nutritious things you've eaten. Put bacon and ranch on your salad? Congratulations, you still got a lot of fiber, that's great for your gut biome, and the veggies still contain nutrients. Finished up your dinner with a dessert? You still ate the dinner. You don't have to eat "pure" to take in nutrition from your meals.

[mush-dooms]

hey so I actually don't think you should be breathing that much, like don't you already breathe enough? it isn't a good look to be inhaling and exhaling that much. idkk I'm just worried about your health, you know how many toxic chemicals are in the air :/ if you want I can surgically take out one of your lungs so that you won't breathe as much! you'll feel much better :) omg do you see that guy over there trying to catch his breath that's so funny haha he's breathing so much hold on I'm gonna film him real quick so my friends and I can all laugh at him later! hey so I heard about this new thing called "suffocation" and it's supposed to help you not breathe as much isn't that great? I mean yeah people die from that but at least we found a cure for the breathing epidemic! btw all of this is so normal

[thepeacefulgarden]

[positivelyqueer]

I'm so fucking mad about how pervasive diet culture is. Like this shit is literally killing people in so many different ways but I can't open up a recipe book or grocery store magazine without reading words like 'bad' and 'sinful' and 'guilty/guilt free'. Like what the honest fuck is that?

And trying to recover from an eating disorder in that environment is like, I don't know, trying to recover from ingesting poison when the whole world wants to sell you repacked poison pills as pseudo scientific health supplements. And the poison pill industry is worth billions. And everyone around you is talking about how they wished they had the willpower to ingest poison, and sharing tips on how to make the poison go down smoother.

If you're currently recovering despite it all you are brave and powerful and strong as fuck. Don't let anyone diminish that.

[bakedbakermom]

The amount of self-fatphobia I encounter in my female friends regarding holiday treats is too damn high and it pisses me off. Twice this week I have told friends that it's okay to eat more in the winter (or when the fuck ever) because we are mammals and that's what we're supposed to do and both of them were like, "Teehee oh that's a great excuse!" And I'm like NO IT'S TRUE your body is responding to rhythms deeper than our modern concept of shame and it's absolutely fine to honor them and listen to your body! You don't need to generate some excuse in order to justify eating and being hungry and enjoying food.

I have had to do so much self-work regarding food and permission to eat and learning to be okay with enjoying food beyond its purpose as mere fuel. Like that was such a huge part of my recovery. My nutritionist once held my hand while I ate cheesecake and cried. And every time I encounter (milder versions of) those same food-phobic fat-shaming feelings in people I love I want to burn down the whole world because WHY ARE WE MADE TO FEEL LIKE THIS!?

Can we as a society just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. about dieting and thinness and the morality of certain body shapes and just live in these physical bodies with their needs and desires and cravings!?!??

[lostmf]

By @desnos

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[unbfacts]

[katsy-kitty]

Me to myself at work:

Be like Hannibal. No shame.

You didn't know something? Not your problem. You know it now -- okay, whatever.

You missed someone's e-mail? Apologize and move on. No big deal.

You didn't do something you were supposed to because no-one had trained you? No shame. The company's fault.

NO SHAME AT WORK

You don't have to give your 100% because it's gonna kill you.

Take breaks, take care of yourself and remember: fuck grind culture.

[thepeacefulgarden]

You are worthy, period.

Not "worthy unless..." Not "worthy until..." Not "worthy, but..." Not "worthy when..." Not "worthy if..." Not "worthy because..." You are worthy, period. Right here, right now. You always were, and you always will be. That worth is intrinsic to you, and it is fixed. You cannot gain more worth by doing X or not doing Y. You cannot lose your worth by doing X or not doing Y. You were born worthy, and you will die worthy.

[syscultureis]

Plural culture is sometimes being afraid of healing because you know it means alters are going to fuse and go dormant, and for so long this has been your only real support system you can rely on and even though you know that it would be better in the long run, it's still terrifying to think about sometimes

[orbitposting]

System culture is Spotify telling you to upgrade to a Duo/Family subscription because alters have such different music tastes and the algorithm has picked up on it

[fatphobiabusters]

This is such a great video for anyone who has BED. I strongly suggest watching this video even if you just want to learn more about binge eating disorder or learn how to help someone who has said disorder. This person always makes sure her videos are fat positive and anti-diet culture. She makes amazing ED recovery videos for multiple types of EDs, so check her YouTube channel for her other videos if you have a different eating disorder!

-Mod Worthy

[catacatacaterpillar]

bpd culture is wanting to fall back into old cycles and habits but fighting it because you want to try and be better