#really fucked up sleeping schedule
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Sleeping schedule
#really fucked up sleeping schedule#no. doctor Darling didn't sleep#control remedy#control 2019#zachariah trench#casper darling#jesse faden#да кто такой этот ваш “спать”??!
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i am asleep much in the way that Wally is asleep. that is to say, I Am Not Sleeping
#gave it my best shot for a minute there#really made an effort. its Not Working#see this is what happens when your sleep schedule is Fucked and you usually go to bed when the sun comes up#on a normal night id be jammin to tunes. scribbling with reckless abandon#tonight however i am at Someone Elses place so i need to be Quiet#i need to Sleep i am Driving tomorrow#brain wont cooperate tho. brains a bitch. id like to be unconchus#OH SHIT OH!!! I DO HAVE A JOKE I CAN MAKE BARNABY USE!!!#I HAVE A COUPLE OF OCEAN BASED ONES! FUCK!#sorry train of thought took a detour#im tired. today was mostly very good. had lots of Fun <3#experienced something new! several somethings!!#and now im lamenting my wide-awakeness in a dark room#my hunting gathering badass self is Bored as Hell#and so: wally scribble of him sharing my woes#scribble salad#not gonna tag it as anything else
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edit i made for my own mental health.
#i stg if they don't correct his hairline in s4 i'm gonna be on the news#well it's also an issue with eyebrow placement. they're way too high up on his head & show too much of his upper eye#also i don't like how his eyebrows aren't just the lineart color now. it looks weird to me close up#my sleep schedule has been extremely fucked so i haven't really been on today sorry 😭#i was taking back to back naps#maybe i'll do an edit of s3 totty too. we'll see#osmt#karamatsu#mj edits#official
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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me: *has to go to university tomorrow morning*
also me: let's stay up until 4AM while consuming mindless content on youtube and contemplate about existence
#even though i'm tired af#i really don't want to go to uni tomorrow ugh#so i figured why not fuck up my sleep schedule#text post#personal#night blogging#school#university#college#thoughts
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Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
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HEY WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SO EARLY???
#nintendo really said Let’s fix everyones sleeping schedules by NOT having them stay up all night think about zelda#and made the stream as early as fucking possible to force us to wake up early#i see what youre doing nintendo#totk#tears of the kingdom#zelda
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you guys i love college so much
#i hate assignments.#BUT LIKE HOLY SHIT I THANK GOD EVERY DAY THAT IM NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL#im an adult who is alive and has a life and does things as an adult and gets treated as an adult and i get to pick my own classes and#i can buy myself things if i want to.... and im active in my club and we're going to travel to another school to compete#I GET TO TRAVEL TO ANOTHER SCHOOL TO COMPETE AND HAVE A TEAM BONDING THING AND DO LONG ROAD TRIPS ABOUT IT#AND MY SPORT OF CHOICE IS LITERALLY LYING#IM IN MOCK TRIAL CLUB AS A WITNESS. I SIT AROUND COMFORTABLY AND WATCH THE LAWYERS DO THEIR THING AND THEN I SOUND SYMPATHETIC ON STAND#ITS SO#it's really fun.#and also i get along with my siblings so much better now that i dont live with them#im not getting mad at my sister all the time just because she Makes Sounds. im not getting annoyed with my brother for being argumentative#we just. hang out.#(frequently lmao)#and my mom and i keep going out to eat#and i visit my dad for lunch most weeks#and we all HANG OUT#and . fuck. i love life#and being an adult who gets to live it#and COLLEGE#next semester im going to take a couese on Detective Fiction#and probably get a job or internship to fuel my spending addiction 🤑💰#💸!!!#* AND MY SLEEP SCHEDULE. WOW. FUCK. ITS ALL UP TO ME#AND I DONT HAVE TO GET UP EARLY EVERY MORNING#AAAAAA#my grades aren't fantastic. right. i know they're not. but im not failing any classes. and i get along w my professors.#i like econ a lot more than i expected to
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#anyway i apologize what this blog has been in the past week/will be like for the foreseeable future#bc the first week in the new job was super exhausting.#my sleep schedule is so fucked up so i was basically running on fumes#trying to keep up and also socialise with new colleagues with minimal hours of sleep oof!#every day was a rollercoaster of oh i am not made for this job i cannot do this! over to no just try it out girl dont give up yet you can d#this#so i really could not be held accountable for what i said or did#i hope i did not say or do anything too awkward lol#but the colleagues seem real nice so far so#anyway that's all about me#personal#delete
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The past versions of myself may as well be considered as strangers. Only someone who has never met me would pencil in 2 three hour segments of free time between 3 days of events. First of all, why are we attempting damn near 36 hours straight of activities? Second of all, who tf is supposed to be able to drive 30min (minimum) home, snooze for two hours, and then get up at the asscrack of dawn to not "rest" again until the following morning? Thirdly, why did I not realize this before starting in on the first day of the hunger games: sleepless edition??
#I'm already fed up and I haven't even attempted to carpe that fucking diem yet#past social me really set me up for failure#I usually sleep 10-12 hours a night on the weekends#this bitch scheduled a few vacation days and went: now perish#fuck me wth dude#boop's rambles#the next time I see my bed will be at 2a tomorrow and I miss her terribly already
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Insomnia is letting up off and on, but I'm still super jelly brained from it case in point, I want to continue back with posting WIPs for the aired pages, but I can't remember what page I left off on now lmao (guess I'll have to dig through my blog to check... eesh. at least it's decently organized by tags?) Not a result of goo brain, really, but equally "AUGH" is that I let my screen protector go for too long without replacing it and now it's slick as snot and I don't have a replacement handy to put on it. This isn't a resulting consequence of goo brain but it does mean I'm going to be trying to draw without any traction while I'm already loopy. Good times ahead!
#shut up pu#I"ve had problems with insomnia my whole life so I'm sadly used to this#it comes and it goes#and right now it's in the middle of a big angry come#what do you mean that wording is atrocious??#it gets the point across#ordered a new screen for the draw slab so I've at least been proactive in fixing the problem#the only other problem is I hate drawing on brand new fresh screens too lol bad finger feel#only the middle screen is good for both fingies and pens#anyway the parts of chapter 3 I really love are coming up over the horizon#part of me does wish I would have tweaked the pacing of chapter 3 a little when realizing the usual posting schedule wasn't going to work#after real life delays all butted into production time bc chapter 3 was still paced for the 2 - 3 pages a week schedule#reading it all at once it still carries that pacing but I do feel a bit bad about the way it has felt at once a week#very occasionally twice lol#but I'm just a stickler for pacing so it bothers me personally probably more than it bothers literally anyone#knowing what it's meant to feel like on the proper release schedule vs. the slower release schedule is largely my own problem#and I'm feeling that extra hard right now because I'm having to do prep work for designing and asseting a new set#which saves a huge amount of time in the long run but slows things down in the immediate now#aka: I want to draw characters and story wahhh why am I making set pieces#also hey where the fuck's that stupid fox at he's even in the story synopsis write up where is he#get in the story proper you piece of shit#hello I am sleep deprived and rambling about comic production how are you doing
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i think i just slept for almost 10 hours 😭 what the fuck (i usually don’t do this)
i guess good afternoon everyone LOL
#rambles.#i’m stuck in this weird loop of getting 5-6 hours of restless sleep some nights before i have to get up early#but then the next night i fucking pass out into some deep ass sleep. super vivid dreams. idk bro#i hate my work schedule it’s really difficult to regulate shit now#and my dreams are insane
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It is objectively at least a little funny to me when people draw Crocodile super muscular 'cause like, sure, his torso may be as wide as a brick wall, but y'all seen his arms and legs?
They're skinny as shit, this man has never lifted a thing in his entire life, he probably doesn't even know how to run. Like Oda can draw people with muscular limbs, this shit's intentional
#Yes hello I'm staying up for 31 hours to fix my fucked up sleep schedule. The posts are gonna get fucking deranged tonight#Sleep Deprivation Shitposting Lesgo#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#But also unironically this is like great character design / visual storytelling#Because yeah if he was skinny like a twig he wouldn't have the same imposing presence to him.#Don't get me wrong I would love a 'Laffitte-ass looking twink'-Crocodile just as much#He just wouldn't be as intimidating (or at least not in the same way); he wouldn't have the same Scary Motherfucker Aura to him#But also Crocodile really does let his Devil Fruit do all the hard work for him in combat (including running)#Like IDK what he does to keep his torso built like a brick wall so he doesn't look like Laffitte but forreal the man does not lift#The most accurate depiction of Croc would be the exact same but his left arm would be slightly beefier than his right#Only because of the gigantic hook that he hauls around#(Just for clarity this is a shitpost. I'm just here to roast the man for his silly Oda-Approved Anatomy)
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question for the fanfic readers (and writers) who are out here working full time jobs:
how/when do you make time to read/write fanfics?
my tendency to read fanfics late at night will not be such a good idea when i’m out of school and working in the real world, when i can’t just say fuck it and show up with only a few hours of sleep.
#sincerely someone who will be working an internship where i’ll be starting at 7:30 every morning#which means i’ll be waking up around 6 every day#and therefore cannot stay up until midnight reading fanfics like i’ve been doing a lot#but i still need my silly little fanfics to get through the day#and i would like the reassurance that that is still possible even when working full time#and like realistically i know i can carve out time in my day to read fanfics but like nighttime is me time#and therefore fanfic time. which is a bad habit to have really#my sleep schedule is so fucked up#oh and also while taking care of household stuff like cleaning/cooking/laundry. forgot to mention that bit#i’m also worried that if i start reading a fanfic in the morning i just won’t get anything done that day bcuz i’ll want to just read said#fanfic…that has happened before. multiple times. so it’s a valid concern#fanfics#ao3#archive of our own#fanfic#fanfiction#fandom#reinanova rambles
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toasted bread + butter dipped in egg yolk is extremely satisfying
#and makes me happy that I'm alive#muffled laugh#delete later#today is fuck it we're getting boba in an attempt to fix my increasingly chaotic sleep schedule#also I see yall are rediscovering that one robot drawing that's literally the spiciest thing I'll post here hahaha#sunny side up eggs used to be my absolute fav but now I can't really pick between that or scrambled or soft boiled haha
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Post bath/pre bed photo dump
#it’s almost 6am and I just smashed a bowl of ramen#time for bed#I really need to stop fucking up my sleep schedule#but trying to stay awake between 3pm and 6pm is like an extreme sport#I gotta do my history homework at some point tomorrow#okay anyways time for bed#shut up rian#me#self#face
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