byanyan

[byanyan]

📩 👫 blssssssss 🥺 @byanyan  🔆 headcanons – accepting!

- when they were kids, around 11 years old, the first proper rule elinor deliberately broke was with and for byan, sneaking them into her house so they didn't have to go home. the two got away with this for just over a week before people noticed (ellie's dad... didn't, marley did, and eventually, in the name of child safety, told one of their teachers where byan had been, information getting back to their foster parents). it's complicated, but ellie would say that week is one of his favourite memories. yes, she encouraged them to do homework, but she was able to keep an eye on them, look out for them, and create a fun time for them. after marley told teachers where byan was, ellie fought with her, and following that fight didn't talk to her sister for a month. 

- the morning after the night ellie had her drink spiked when she was 15, through his headache and his shame, she slipped out of the house to find byan, and she cried on them. cried until she had no tears left, and then begged them to teach her how to fight. the foundation for elinor's physical combat skills all comes from byan and that day. 

- ellie walked into byan's tattoo shop by coincidence, but it's not a coincidence, once the two have established (for the sake of both of their self esteems and plethora of anxieties, however they manifest) that they are interested in properly reconnecting, ellie takes a full week off work to do so, even if its just to sit in the shop while byan works. 

- ellie makes playlists. in general, always. ellie especially makes playlists for byan: song recommendations; a playlist for when they're feeling crazy and want to calm down; a playlist for when they're feeling crazy and want to stay crazy; songs that make her think of them; songs that played while they were together. every now and then, and with no real pattern other than ellie wants to, he will turn that playlist into a cassette mix tape, complete with hand-drawn covers. she isn't the artist between the two of them, but it's cute, and comes with a sweet and a little letter, too. 

[byanyan]

thinking abt byan getting overstimulated in big stores and starting fights about it

[byanyan]

lack of interaction ≠ lack of interest. sometimes, life gets in the way, or my muse doesn't cooperate with me the way i want, or i'm simply too anxious to take the first step. but just because we currently don't have any interactions going, doesn't mean that i'm not interested in writing with you and your muse(s). maybe the perfect opportunity hasn't presented itself yet, or i couldn't think of a good enough plot but that never ever has anything to do with you. after all, we're mutuals for a reason and that's usually because i enjoy seeing you on my dash and would love to write with you ― whenever that may happen.

[byanyan]

when will my motivation & energy for writing return....

[byanyan]

runaway train, never going back.

[byanyan]

*pushes you up against a locker like a high school bully* I like your shoes Where did you get them  

[byanyan]

she's got glitter for skin, my radiant beam in the night, don't need no light to see you shine

[ #sunsetsoft ] an exploration of healing from the hurt; holding onto your sweetness; helping the good; helping the bad; finding the joy in the mundane; feeling small; self-worth; the need for solid ground when everything is unsteady; giving until you love yourself; giving until you lose yourself. a fandomless urban fantasy original character with verses for arcane; star wars; marvel; dc; fallout; baldur's gate iii; critical role & more!

[byanyan]

rolls around on the floor........ so anyway, i failed my attempt to fix my sleep schedule... now i'm just gonna try waking up a bit earlier every day until i feel at least somewhat like a human being ashjfgds

[byanyan]

oh but you could rip my heart open, darling, for i have never known love before.

carrd.ㅤpinterest.ㅤcredit.

[byanyan]

everyone avert your eyes [expresses a standard human emotion] [illogically experiences shame even with only myself as witness]

[byanyan]

well 🧍‍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.

[byanyan]

muse's handwriting

find the font that closest resembles your muses handwriting from here and write their name!

tagged by:ㅤ@sunsetsoft ♡♡♡

[byanyan]

∗ o9﹕ sender  falls  asleep  leaning  against  receiver . (what if i sent u smth soft for once huh??? what then???)

100 Nonverbal Prompts | Accepting!

It was late into the night. One full day of mischief and violent crimes and fleeing the authorities led to two tuckered out young adults basking in their accomplishments on a rooftop with candybars as their reward.

Their latest achievement? A grafitied midfle finger sprayed onto an old billboard for the world to see. While Margaret suggested it be a green hand, Byan insisted they do the nail polish. Just to be extra. It almost got them caught, but it was well worth it. A shame they couldn't take the cans of paint with them.

Either way, here they sat, relaxing, up and away from the eyes of authorities, gazing at the flickering city lights that replaced the stars due to light pollution. Margaret was so busy staring into space that... she didn't notice the youngster dozing off on her until she felt the increased weight slump on her shoulder. It was enough to shock her back into reality and look over.

To hell if the sight didn't tug a grin on her face beneath the mask. The fiestiest, bite-iest, most foul mouthed child she's run across so far... was actually settling down next to her like a tamed kitten. She was absolutely teasing them for it later.

But for now... she'd rather let them rest. It wasn't a luxury they always had, trusting in someone enough to do something like this, she was sure. So why not? The softness of it all kept her more fearful thoughts at bay, so... why not lean back on them and bask in the warmth of it all?

[byanyan]

📩 ❛ the first time i met you, i had no idea you'd mean this much. ❜ (byan having a rare vulnerable moment? shocking. unheard of.) @byanyan 🔆 assorted dialogue – accepting!

"the first time you met me, i was the over-achieving goody-two shoes who could barely raise his voice loud enough to be heard for roll call." it's less self-deprication and more a statement of fact, laced deeply with the implication that no-one would really have looked twice at him. not back then. "i don't blame you." she rested her head on their shoulder, looking over the city skyline as the sun set over the horizon from the vantage point of the fire escape her had turned into a make-shift balcony. 

"it's funny, isn't it?" he angled his head up a little, mostly seeing byan's chin and jaw. "the way the most trivial things end up being so important." elinor couldn't boast the same kind of sentiment, though. not that she had known byan would have become such a huge part of her life, not that there was any way he could have known who they would end up being in her life. but he had known that high school would shape out very differently just for being able to call byan an acquaintence, let alone a friend. she had known that they would change her.

"i'm glad, though. that that chance meeting turned into another chance meeting that turned into this. i don't know where i'd be if i didn't have you." he relaxed, curling into byan a little, resting her head on their chest now. "i'd have been completely lost a long time ago."

[byanyan]

byan, the kid who was never wanted and was often mistreated, having hyper sensitive rsd (rejection sensitive dysphoria). byan taking anything that isn't emphatic agreement/acceptance as rejection from certain people and forcefully distancing from them vs. byan aggressively inserting themself into the lives of those who only grumble in dissent but don't actually say no/don't know how to say no....

[byanyan]

ok hello i am!! alive!! but uhm. still in a strange spot mentally. so i'm adding today on to my little break and will try to be around tomorrow :x

[byanyan]

@byanyan & @lctibule