#involves someone they care about or not. depending on how safe they feel expressing themself around someone.

[byanyan]

°ㅤ𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙲𝙰𝚁𝚁𝚈 𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 ? please repost , don’t reblog ! bold / italicize what applies accordingly .

『 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 . 』    jaw clenching ,   hands balling into fists ,   teeth grinding,  yelling ,   going nonverbal ,   vocalizations ,   stuttering speech ,   rushed speech ,   slow concise speech ,   rambling ,   quiet ,   arms crossing ,   shaking head ,   curling lip upwards ,   baring teeth ,   tearing up ,   animated ,   expressionless ,   projects ,   internalizes ,   vents ,   withdraws ,   tighter movements ,   passive-aggressive ,   direct ,   physical outbursts ,   verbal outbursts ,   pacing ,   going still ,   anger boils over in the heat of the moment but cools down quickly afterwards ,   anger brews slowly but lingers longer ,   will act out of impulse when angry ,   will stew on their anger and plot revenge ,   holds grudges ,   forgives easily ,   forgives but never forgets

『 𝒋𝒐𝒚 . 』   easy smiles ,   fighting back grins ,   suppressed laughter ,   loud laughter ,   giggles ,   chuckling ,   smirks ,   whole body laughs ,   covers mouth when laughing/giggling ,   throws head back when laughing ,   slaps leg ,   touches people around them when laughing ,   looks down when laughing ,   looks for eye contact when laughing ,   sparkling eyes ,   bubbly happiness ,   quiet subtle happiness ,   obnoxious happiness ,   wants to spread joy ,   quietly savors joy

『 𝒔𝒂𝒅𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 . 』   crying ,   bottling it up ,   seeking distractions ,   wallowing ,   meditating and processing ,   avoidance ,   seeking out comfort ,   withdrawing ,   swallowing thickly ,   talking it out ,   internalizing it ,   sad smiles ,   depression naps ,   using alcohol ,   using drugs ,   seeking out sources of joy ,   fidgets with sentimental item ,   sits in silence ,   broods ,   gets moody ,   wants someone to share the misery ,   tries to hide negative emotions ,   nurtures others to make themselves feel better

『 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕     /     𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒆 . 』    blushing ,   looking away ,   rubbing at the back of the head ,   running a hand through hair ,   clearing throat ,   covering the face ,   laughing nervously ,   laughing it off ,   overthinking ,   letting it go ,   self-deprecating humor ,   deflecting ,   getting irritated ,   smiling ,   withdraws ,   crossing arms over the stomach ,   crossing arms over chest ,   hands in pockets ,   shoulders sinking ,   shrugs ,   falling into silence until comfortable again ,   talking a lot to compensate

『 𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒕 . 』   avoiding eye contact ,   shoulders sinking low ,   head hanging down ,   crying ,   chest aches ,   lashing out ,   internalizing ,   apologizing ,   deflecting ,   communicating ,   withdrawing ,   grand gestures for forgiveness ,   accepting fault easily ,   punishing themselves ,   martyrdom ,   victim complex ,   over-active guilt complex ,   healthy conscience ,   internalizes even after forgiveness ,   seeking redemption ,   moves on easily ,   denial ,   shuts off empathy to cope ,   lack of guilt / conscience ,   sorry they got caught more than caused harm ,   can’t handle knowing they hurt others

『 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒓     /     𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚 . 』   trembling ,   crying ,   sarcasm / sass to cope ,   humour to cope ,   rambles ,   going quiet ,   going nonverbal ,   getting angry ,   fidgeting ,   freezing up ,   impatience ,   clenching jaw ,   picking at nails ,   chewing at the lip ,   pulling at clothes ,   adjusting jewelry / clothing / hair ,   b ,   swallowing thickly ,   eyes widening ,   over - reacts ,   under - reacts ,   calm ,   logical ,   panic ,   irrational ,   overthinks ,   carefully analyzes ,   talk to themselves ,   breathing exercises ,   flight ,   fight ,   withdraw ,   fawn

tagged by: @nightingeal ♡♡♡

[asycuwish]

aloe :   how does your muse handle grief ? chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?  how do they feel about love as a concept ?   edelweiss :   what was the bravest moment in your muse’s life ?  are they known to be courageous from then on ?   iris :   if your muse could convey one last message to someone they have lost or left behind ,   what would it be ?  oak :   who would your muse consider the strongest person they know ?  peony :   what would a   ‘  happy life  ’   look like in your muse’s eyes ?southernwood :   how seriously does your muse take themself ?   do they prefer a solemn   &   intellectual atmosphere or do they delight in jokes   &   banter ?  

Alrighty I am sufficiently distracted enough to take this on! Thank you a bunch @nerdqueenmari , hope you enjoy reading this. Again - any response I have will NOT be answered directly by canon material. This is from personal interpretation from the information I possess about him.

Aloe: He truly doesn't It isn't that he goes out of his way to avoid it, Fett merely compartmentalizes it. He will perhaps accept a time to mourn but it is never truly enough time to do so. Growing up and having to raise himself essentially, learn the trade of bounty hunting and always being on his toes never really allowed him to grieve Jango properly. And as he aged, the lack of previous experience, taught him by association the best way to process grief was to acknowledge the loss and stay busy. Because what was lost, is lost and nothing can be done to reverse that. However, I do want to add, every loss adds to his suppressed anger at the concept of mortality.

Chrysanthemum: Poorly. Again, he never really had much examples growing up on how love is demonstrated. He becomes overly protective in fear of losing someone else he cares for which can cause his partner to push him away, or he may fall into beliefs that his partner would be more safe had he not been involved and distance himself as a way to subconsciously self sabotage the relationship. But err - love language wise? Acts of service is how he expresses it. How does he feel about love as a concept? It is a dream that we all strive for, but never will we find a love that meets the expectations we foolishly created for ourselves.

Edelweiss: Climbing out of the Sarlacc pit. He was known for bravery (to an extent) but he had dismissed these notions having believed they were normal. His experience in the sarlacc shaped his own mentality of how brave he could be when it was needed.

Iris: If he could leave one last message to someone he lost - I would think he would ask Jango if he was proud of him, and thank him for all the good memories they did have together before saying how he wishes they could have made more. How he's sorry for not doing more to carry on the family name, but he hopes he is proud of him.

Oak: His father.

Peony: His concept of what a happy life entails is forever changing but basing this off of Book of Boba Fett timeline, I would imagine his happy life is now redemption for his past. Whether that is consciously his objective I am uncertain, but I truly do think him changing his approach and his experience with the Tuskans has led him to become a bit more merciful and reflect a lot on his past. So his happy life is perhaps a life where he could have balanced the good things he's done with the bad.

Southernwood: Depending on his company he goes between the two. He knows to be serious in certain company, but rather foolish in others. The latter of which is if he feels comfortable enough to put down his guard and the professional mask he often adorns.

[thiswasinevitableid]

Okay well then!!!! I am very glad and excited to share my most recent idea I had while rereading Yeti Hunting again!! And the new Incubus one too!! They're almost exactly the same idea, just different flavors I suppose. Also Joe is trans in both the ideas but that's less to do with the ideas themself and more to do with just me projecting on him sgfjgsjfhsjdh

Okay so it's like a reverse au so Stern is some kind of cryptid, but as far as Barclay knows they're just two good human friends (but maybe they wanna be a little more than friends...). And then one day Joseph goes into heat and tells Barclay he's sick to try to keep him away, but Barclay being the sweetest man alive goes to his house with fresh soup to take care of him and Joe seems really panicked about Bar being there and tries to make him leave but he is CLEARLY unwell and Barclay is very stubborn when it comes to helping people he cares about and so he plants himself down on the couch and says he's not leaving until Joe tells him what's wrong and Stern tries to hold onto his human form but it's taking too much focus and energy and whoops Barclay finds out his friend not human and currently in distress and so horny it hurts and if he can help his friend and fuck him at the same time, well then that's just a win all around (bonus points if at the end Barclay is kinda sad because he thinks Joe just needed somone to fuck him, not nessacarry Barclay, but Joe frantically assures him that he is SUPER into him and if it were anyone else he would have kicked them the hell out and probably skipped town bc he couldn't trust anyone else with a secret like this).

Or!! (This is where the incubus part comes in) Joe is an incubus and currently hiding out in his human disguise at the Amnesty lodge and it's going fine for a while, but then he starts talking to and getting to know the really hot chef. And they slowly start growing closer and closer. And maybe in this world, the power an Incubus gets from sex depends just as much on their desires as it does the human's. And this has never been an issue for Stern before, but now he's falling for Barclay and wants him and no one else so he's getting less and less energy from his encounters and Barclay is worried about him because he doesn't seem like himself anymore. Almost as if he's... dulled? When Barclay looks at him the blue of his eyes seem muted and his general aura seems... gray. And it all comes to ahead when Joe finally stops insisting he's fine and after dinner one night he asks if he can speak to Barclay privately, and he comes clean about everything and Barclay, while a little shocked, rolls with it very well and cups Joe's face in his hands and kisses him softly and it like,,, you should have come to me sooner, I'd do anything for you,,, and yeah it's really tender,,,,

Okay that's it I'm sorry it's so long and probably incoherent. I tried to use at least little formatting to make it better but it's a tumblr mobile ask, I'm not sure even the new paragraphs will translate over. The general idea is that they're close friends and Stern is Not Human and Barclay finds out under less than ideal circumstances :3 I know these are far from original or unique but I just wanted to share my ideas with you bc you're the inspiration for a good 70% of my private writings, but if you like them enough and ever feel like doing something with them that'd be cool ;3

Here you go! I went with scenario one. Content Note: some “mating” talk and mild subdrop at the end (which is, of course, taken care of)

The two canvas bags are ready to burst. Barclay peers into them, contemplating the addition of another box of tea, in case Joseph doesn’t like the other two. Mama was cagey when he asked, he doesn’t know what’s ailing the other man, only that he’s sick. 

Joseph manages Amnesty Lodge, where Barclays’ been a cook for the last six months. Barclay was initially wary of him; his cosmopolitan bearing and clean-cut appearance is so out of place in the rustic mountain town of Kepler that the logical explanation is he’s one of those city types who fell on hard times and got stuck here. 

It took less than forty-eight hours for him to prove Barclay wrong. Polite and polished, efficient and stunningly good in a crisis, Joseph handles the day to day chaos of the lodge while Mama, the owner, took care of the big picture stuff. His friendly greetings and consistent compliments about Barclays cooking gradually turned to afternoons spent at a table with his work so they could talk during lulls in business. 

When Joseph leaned against the counter, sleeves rolled up, laughing as he helped Barclay tidy the kitchen, the cook rushed headlong into his crush and never looked back. He regularly dreams of blue eyes and a movie-star face, finds his day doesn’t really start until Joseph pokes his head in to say good morning. 

He’s been without that greeting for two days now. Joseph never misses work, and his sudden absence worried Barclay enough that he checked with Mama to be sure the manager was okay.

“Joe’s fine big fella, just under the weather is all.”

The one time Barclay got sick, Joseph brought him tea and soup himself, checked in on him every hour, and--if Barclay’s fever addled brain is to be trusted--fluffed his pillows. It’s the least Barclay can do to drop off snacks and be sure his friend is okay. 

It’s a short drive to cabin Joseph calls home; he used to live at the Lodge, but as it got more crowded, he moved to his own space so those who needed a cheap, safe place to stay could have one. 

His knock on the door is answered by a brisk, “Who is it?”

“Barclay. I, uh, I brought you a get-well gift.”

Joseph opens the door to the cabin and to an entire new universe of fantasies. His normally slicked-back hair falls, relaxed, across his forehead, his loosely tied blue robe shows a tantalizing V of skin, and the dreamy-sleepy expression makes his face even more kissable. 

“Hi.” Joseph takes a step forward, taking the bags and bringing his face achingly close to Barclays’. Then he freezes, reversing into the house, “I, um, it was very sweet of you to bring all this. But you need to go.” He takes another step back, then doubles over with a groan. 

Barclay hurries across the threshold, setting the bags on the floor and steadying him over to the couch.

“Fuck, do you need me to get you like a heat pack, or a puke bucket?”

“No, no I just need to lay down, and for you to g-” he shudders, curling in on himself and tipping sideways. 

“Joseph, you’re really sick, I’m not gonna just leave you here. I mean, fuck, what if it’s your appendix or something?” He sits down next to the shaking man, rubbing his back comfortingly. 

“It’s not, I promise. Oh lord” he whines, looks at Barclay with frantic eyes, “I hope you can keep a secret.”

“Of course I can. Whatever I can do to help, I want to.” 

“Careful with those promises, big guy.” The nickname comes out in a growl as Joseph stands, undoing his wristwatch. 

“Oh FUCK!” Barclay scrambles back, almost falling over the arm of the couch.

There’s a monster where Joseph just was. Years ago Barclay saw a Maned Wolf in a zoo, and he’d swear that’s what he’s looking at now were it not for several glaring issues. First, it’s standing comfortably on two legs. It’s paws are more like hands, able to hold the watch and adjust the collar of its shirt. And he’s never seen a wolf, maned or otherwise, with spines down its back and a whip-like tail.

The creature runs a clawed hand through the fur at the top of it’s head, the way Joseph does when he’s nervous,  “So. I can’t tell you everything, at least not right now. What I can tell you is that this is the form I was born into, somewhere far away from earth.”

“Okay.” Barclays brain grinds like a broken ice machine as a familiar voice speaks to him from a fanged mouth. 

“I, um, I’m what humans call a Chupacabra. To answer the usual questions: no, I’ve never been to Puerto Rico. No, I don’t eat goats. And no, I’m not going to eat you.”

“Okay.” His heart is still racing, but not from fear, which is the most confusing was this could have gone.

Pointed ears flick, worried, “Are you in shock?”

“Kinda, yeah.” He nods as Joseph sits next to him with a heavy sigh. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this way. I took the next few days off to avoid this exact scenario. I figured I wouldn’t see you, but forgot how thoughtful and caring you are.” Claws gently stroke Barclays hair, “my wonderful Barclay.”

He’s about to bring his hand up, cup those strange fingers to his cheek and whisper “always”, when Joseph pulls away. 

“I, I’m sorry. Again. I always get too handsy when I’m in heat. That’s the second worst side-effect, after the fact that being in my disguise is untenable when I’m in the thick of it. It’s like wearing a wet, wool sweater made of nausea.”

“....Hold on, you had to take time off work because you’re horny?” 

“Almost. Heat doesn’t come that often for me, which means whenever it happens, it’s intense. I have a hard time eating or sleeping, I can’t focus, and I spend most of the week masturbating. Which is not as fun as it sounds; I’m not even at the height of the damn thing and last night I humped a pillow on the kitchen floor while dinner reheated.”

Barclay groans, tries to hide it when the ears swivel his way, “Uh, guess I’m glad I brought you lots of food so you remember to eat. Shoulda, uh, put some lube or something in there as well, huh?” 

Joseph chuckles, “My nose tells me you put molasses cookies in there, so I’ll let it slide.”

“There anything else I can do to help?”

“Well…” he shakes his head, “never mind, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Do what?”

“My heat is more manageable when I have a partner. Fucking someone relieves things more effectively than masturbation does. But I can’t-”

“I can help with that.” The offer is out before his brain catches up with his mouth. 

“Barclay, my kind have a very, um, involved mode of, um, well, I guess you foreplay. As, as much as I’d love for you to be my mate” he winces, “see, that’s what I mean. I say things like that, most of them not even possible given the fact you and I can’t reproduce.” 

“Uh, does it help if I say hearing you call me that is really hot?”

Blue eyes widen, and a tail traces up Barclays leg, “Only if you mean it.”

“I do.”

A narrow, long tongue flicks into the air, “In that case, big guy, how about we have a little planning session over dinner?”

-------------------------------------------------

Barclay parks in the driveway, next to Josephs’ sedan. He heads past the house and down a short slope to a creek, the twilight sky casting the forest in eerie grey-blue. There’s a tire swing leftover from a previous resident, and he idly pushes it back and forth as he waits for the game to start. 

“It’s like hide and seek” Joseph wipes his mouth, cleans cookie crumbs from the table, “We start outside, move inside, and you go as long as you can without me catching you. After all, I want a mate who can hold his own.”

He stuffs his hands in his jacket pocket to warm them. A yip bounces out from the trees behind him. When he turns, he quickly spots glinting eyes and bared fangs hidden in the undergrowth. 

Sprinting towards the cabin, he realizes Joseph laid a trap for him from the start; by asking him to begin at the creek, he’s forcing him to run uphill to safety, slowing him down. He lets his lizard-brain, concerned only with the fact that something dangerous is chasing him, take over and drive his legs as fast as they’ll go. The back door is locked, he double-checked that on the way down, so he doesn’t waste his time trying it, races to the front of the cabin and slams the door shut just as something huge rounds the corner after him. 

The nob jiggles, his pursuer testing the lock and discovering the thrown deadbolt. Barclay uses those few seconds to secure the windows on the first floor, throws his jacket down into the cellar as a failsafe, and bolts up to the bedroom. His hammering heart insists that locking that door is not enough, so he crawls into the closet and shuts himself up among the meticulously organized shirts and slacks. It’s not enough space for him to stand, so he tucks his knees to his chest and waits. 

“What happens if I, like, completely outsmart you.”

A toothy smile, “I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.”

Each of the downstairs windows rattle in turn. Then the scratching starts, claws on wood coming closer with each breath. Joseph is climbing the wall up to the bedroom window that Barclay knows for a motherfucking fact he did not secure. 

A shuff as the window slides open, the cryptid landing with remarkable stealth on the bedroom floor. Barclay tracks him by the light coming under the closet door, his mouth covered so his breathing won’t give him away. The shadow pauses, sniffs, and then the bedroom door opens and shuts. Barclay’s not moving until he hears the front door do the same. 

Just as his legs start to protest being smushed up against his chest, the door reopens. Snuffling signals Joseph closing in, and an instant later the only light coming in is from the far ends of the door. Slowly, his last line of defense rolls to the right, revealing the creature crouching on the other side.

“Not a bad effort, big guy. You actually confused me for a minute with the scent trail of your coat downstairs.” Joseph reaches for him and Barclay, remembering that he’s not supposed to give up until he’s pinned, leans away. 

“That’s how my mate wants to play?”

“J-just following your instructions, babe.”

An intrigued purr, “I guess you are. All the more reason you’re the perfect partner for me.”

The words Barclays dreamed of hearing for months distract from the claws closing around his ankles. He lets out an undignified yelp when Joseph pulls his legs straight out and drags him out of the closet. Once he’s free of the forest of clothing, the cryptid picks him up and drops him on the bed. He moans and Joseph snickers, joining him on the bedspread. 

“Fuck, Joseph, no one’s ever been able to do that before and it’s so, so fucking hot.” He arches his back and shifts his limbs to help Joseph undress him.

“It’s because you’re the perfect size; big and strong, large enough to give me a decent cuddle when I’m human, but still small enough to be an easily subdued mate.” He gets the humans’ jeans and boxers off, hesitates, and then tosses them on the floor with a pained expression, “I’ll fold those later.”

“Gonna hold you to that. Also, wanna point out that it wasn’t that easy to subdue me.”

Joseph nuzzles his cheek, claws caressing his thighs, “Barclay, I was jogging while you were sprinting.”

“You coulda caught me right awaAAy ohwhatthefuck.” Tingling heat glides down his throat as Joseph licks a stripe along the skin, “fuck, it, it feels like the time I tried hot wax.”

The cryptid sits up slightly to look at him, “Is that a...good thing?”

“Fuck yeah. I really fucking liked it but it was fucking murder with the chest hair.”

Joseph runs his claws through the hair in question, “I like it.”

“I know, I saw you eyeing me that one time I used the springs at the lodge.”

“You can’t prove anything.” Joseph leans back down, curling his tongue around Barclays left nipple. The sensation makes him buck his hips, which Joseph correctly takes as a signal for more. He moves to the other side, takes his time teasing it and licking down the sensitive center of Barclays chest. Noses his stomach, nips his sides, and slides the alien heat of his tongue into the crease of his thighs. 

“Y’know I, ohfuck, I assumed from all that talk yesterday you’d get right to fucking me.”

Joseph kisses the inside of one thigh, “I, um, I thought about it, almost ripped your jeans to shreds and took you on the floor. But I wanted to be sure you were turned on. You’re not just a warm body, Barclay. You’re my mate. That means your pleasure matters as much as mine.” He licks up Barclays’ cock, hardened from rubbing against the soft fur of his belly, and sighs, “and what a mate.”

“Fuck” he squeezes his eyes closed because if we watches that mouth saying everything he wants to hear in between sucking his dick, he’ll cum in ten seconds flat. 

A final lick to the tip and then Joseph hops off the bed, “Did you prep the way I told you?”

“Uhhuh.” 

“Good.” Joseph returns, sets several items he can’t see by his feet, “that’ll make things easier. First things first” he produces a cock cage, sliding it into place, “these are a few things I smuggled over from my original home. This is enchanted, so it can go on an erect cock but still prevent the wearer from cumming until it’s removed.”

“That’s just cruel, babe.” He sits up on his elbows to kiss Josephs snout, earning him a pleased yip. 

“If you cum too fast, I won’t be able to properly breed you.” He winces again, “sorry, I sound like one of Indrids romance novels.”

“Again, gorgeous, I find it really fucking hot.”

The spines on Joseph’s back ripple, “You think I’m gorgeous? Like this?”

“I do. Also kinda scary, but in a hot way.” Now it’s his turn to cringe, “see? I sound like cheap porn written by an eighth grader when I’m horny. The way you sound is fine.”

Joseph lovebites his ear, then retrieves the other two items from the end of the bed. 

“And how does this look, big guy?”

“Like it’s either going to kill me or make me cum like a dozen times.” He furrows his brow at the strap-on. It’s narrower than the average human dick, with a pointed, slightly up-curved tip. What’s worrying him are the spikes. 

The entire shaft is coated in short protrusions. They don’t end in points, thank god, but if they’re at all stiff this is going to be miserable. 

“Here” Joseph waves him over, “touch it.” He guides his fingers along one side and the spines bend fluidly under his touch, and now all he wants to know is how they feel inside him. Joseph also moans, bucking his hips so the toy slides along Barclays palm.

“It’s, ohlord, also enchanted so that the wearer feels it as an extension of their body and can cum with it. Also, please decide in the next thirty seconds whether you want to be on your back or your stomach.” Amber pre-cum drips down Barclay’s fingers. 

“Stomach is better for meWHOAH, ohfuck, okay we’re doing this.” Now flipped on his belly, he raises his ass. The cryptid kneads it appreciatively before holding it open and sliding his cock in with once, graceful thrust. 

He bottoms out with a groan, which is more articulate than Barclay is managing to be as the spines rub and glide inside him, finding every patch of nerves, every angle to drag against in just the right way. Joseph hauls him onto his knees and then he’s off, growls and yips filling the as he fucks him. Barclay only just registers the bed banging into the wall so forcefully the headboard is cracking when claws sink into his hips and Joseph pulls him all the way onto his cock and pulses into him. 

“Holy fuck that was fast.”

“I, I didn’t jack off once today. Didn’t want to waste it, wanted to save it all for my perfect mate.” He’s thrusting again, not as hard but twice as fast, “shit, you feel so good, big guy, please tell me Mama okayed your time off for tomorrow.”

“Wh-why are we talkingAHnnn, about this now?”

Hot breath tickles his ear, “Because now that I know what’s like to cum in you, I don’t plan on cumming anywhere else for the next day and a half.”

“Ohfuckme” Barclay groans happily into the pillows as Joseph empties into him, cries out when his tail whips across his calf.

“Shit, did that hurt?”

“No, no it felt good, fucking-A babe every fucking part of you is amazing.”

The cryptid whines, pleased, and wiggles his hips, giving Barclay an idea. 

“That’s, uh, that’s why I want you for my mate, because you’re so fucking goo-mmph” his face presses harder into the pillows as Joseph pins his shoulders down and fucks into him, snarling “yes” over and over again. When he finishes this time he hunches over, nipping Barclay’ shoulders and neck. 

“You catch on quick, big guy.”

“Thanks, babe. Uh, are we gonna switch it up at any point or am I staying like this until tomorrow night?”

“No, we can fuck however we want. After” a fuzzy hand rubs circles on Barclay’s abdomen, “I’ve cum in you enough times that I can feel it from out here.”

Barclay moans, tightening around him as his hips snap once more, already imagining being full and fucked out. Maybe it’ll take all night. He’ll be limp if it does, but right now nothing sounds better than melting into the bed while Joseph fucks his ass like it belongs to him. 

After forty-five minutes, his cock is aching, his mind holds only thoughts of how good it feels to do as Joseph tells him, and he’s been cum in so many times that wet, obscene sounds accompany the cryptids thrusts. Said sounds pale in comparison to Josephs’ voice, which is spinning increasingly impossible scenarios the longer they’re in bed. 

“I hope they take after you.” Joseph murmurs. 

Barclay just manages to turn his head, “Who?”

A muzzle playfully nudges his cheek, “Our kids.”

His heart seizes and shakes at the words; they both know that’s not what will happen. Joseph warned him he might say things like this, said he could tell him to knock it off if need be. 

“Maybe they’ll, ahnn, they’ll have big, beautiful brown eyes and bigger hearts, just like you.”

He doesn’t want him to stop. Every thrust hits deeper, every point where their skin meets buzzes brighter when he talks like this.

“H-hope at least one looks like you, blue eyes.”

A guttural whine, tingling heat as Joseph laps tenderly at the back of his neck, “We’ll just have to see, usually we’re born in threes so, soOH, oh I’m close, shitshit” 

“That’s it babe, fill me up, c’mon, c’mon I want it so bad, Joseph, baby, please.” 

There’s a howltrill as cum spurts into him, Joseph panting as he smooths his hand around Barclays side.

“There, that’s done it.”

Barclay whimpers as he pulls out, his mind and body pulled tight, certain that if he doesn’t cum soon he’ll propose marriage instead and that’ll be a fucking disaster. 

Joseph carefully rolls him over and unlocks the cage, “Do you want to cum?”

“More than anything. Oh!” he’s unprepared for Joseph to sink down on his cock, “oh fuck, yeah, wanna cum so bad babe please, I’ll be so good, be such a good mate if you just let me cum in y-fuuuck” A trio of sensations levels him as he climaxes; his vision whites out, his hips jerk more violently than they ever have before, and a line of cum drips down his leg. 

Somewhere far away, Joseph says, “I think we’ve earned a break.”

He nods, body limp as the cryptid climbs off him. Then he’s falling, spinning helplessly down in a pit of realizations. 

Joseph didn’t mean any of those things he said. His friend needed a mate and Barclay, lovesick fool he is, was eager for a chance to play pretend that he didn’t think about what would happen when the game ended. Even if Joseph keeps him here through tomorrow, the next time they meet at the Lodge he’ll act like nothing happened. 

Fuck, Barclay didn’t even get to kiss him during all this, and now he’ll never get the chance, never, nevernever-

“Shit, I should have put a towel or a spare blanket down. Now I’ll have to strip the bed before I can--Barclay? Oh, oh baby, what’s wrong?” A hand pets his face and he turns away from it, refusing to open his eyes. Joseph takes his hand instead, “it’s okay, I’m here, whatever you need I’ll-”

“Don’t. Don’t say that. You can’t give me what I need, it isn’t your fault I, I know I’m not really your partner and I, I…” he sniffles, wipes his palm under his eye. 

“Barclay, look at me please.”

Reluctantly, he opens his eyes just in time to see Joseph dip down and kiss him. It’s awkward, their mouths not made to fit together, but he savors it all the same because it’s Joseph, his Joseph, kissing him like he hoped he would. 

“My heat can make me say some ridiculous things. What it can’t do is make me feel affection where none exists. In fact, the reason I wasn’t able to keep my disguise on yesterday is because being near you meant being near the mate I wanted most in the world. I, um, suspected you might share my feelings, but I didn’t want our first interaction as boyfriend to be me asking if you wanted to spend a day or so with me while I was in a sex haze. But then you offered to help, and I wanted it so badly that I barreled ahead without making sure you understood that this was me declaring my feelings. I’m sorry.”

Barclay climbs into his lap, not caring about the mess he makes in the process. The cryptid laughs, hugs him close.

“I, I shoulda said something sooner too. Not that I regret how we spent our first date.” He kisses Josephs chin.

“Me neither, though I don’t think it quite counts.” He rubs their foreheads together, “can your boyfriend take you out to dinner on Friday?”

Barclay grins, looks into loving, blue eyes, “Yeah, he can.”

[ulrichfoester]

Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Programs

Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Programs

INTRODUCTION

The victim looks like any other normal woman.  She is smart, pretty, and kind.  She wears no outward visible signs of her ordeal to the untrained eye.  But appearances can be deceiving, as this woman is carrying around so much pain and misery after years of abuse at the hands of a narcissist.  But like the host upon which a leech feeds, eventually the victim is left empty, with self-esteem and confidence completely shot.

Someone in a relationship with a narcissist will describe themselves as a starved dog or a dying plant…in need of nurturing and sustenance that never comes from their partner.  The relationship does not start out like this, however, but instead evolves into a destructive force over time, like the frog in the pot.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a particularly insidious mental health condition that allows the perpetrator—the one with the disorder—to stealthily inflict just about every kind of abuse known on the victim, including emotional, verbal, spiritual, physical, financial, and sexual.  The narcissist does not feel remorse or empathy for the pain they inflict, in fact it propels them to perpetuate even more harm on the victim.  The marriage or relationship features a continuous classic cycle of abuse, keeping the victim off balance and hopeful that “maybe this time” he (or she) will change their ways.

In the end, the victim resembles a hollowed out version of herself, with a beaten down spirit and feelings of worthlessness and shame defining her.  For the victims, narcissistic abuse recovery programs can offer immense support in helping to rebuild and restore the essence of who they were before becoming entrapped in the web of the narcissist.

About Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

When most people hear the term narcissistic personality disorder they may assume it involves a person who is self-obsessed, like the Greek god, Narcissus who is portrayed as gazing at himself lovingly in the reflection of a pond.  In reality, the clinical mental health disorder known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has little in common with that myth.

NPD consists of withholding love by being emotionally unavailable, bullying, condescension, criticism, and emotional abuse that slowly dismantles the victim’s sense of self-worth, rendering them completely depleted in spirit.  Traits of NPD include:

May isolate the victim from family and friends

Exaggerated sense of self-importance

Making the victim the cause of their bad behavior, it is the victim’s fault

Thinks people are jealous of them

Expects grandiose accolades and attention for their accomplishments

Unwilling to go to marriage counseling

They care only about their own desires and needs

Manipulates others to get what they want

Criticizing the victim

Fits of unpredictable rage or cruelty

Tormenting behaviors, such as purposely causing fear

Becoming angry if the victim does not acquiesce and agree with them

Lacks empathy for others and does not tolerate other people’s feelings or needs

Has a high opinion of themselves, a huge ego

Arrogant and condescending

With not acknowledge guilt or apologize for inflicting emotional pain

Takes advantage of others for their own gain

At their core, narcissists actually detest themself, and act out by inflicting pain on their victims to assuage their own sense of self-hatred.  The narcissist traits may range from mild to severe, even malicious.  Using various forms of abuse, harassment, and emotional cruelty, the narcissist is all about controlling the victim through intimidation and fear.

How NPD Affects the Partner (Victim)

Someone in a relationship with a narcissist will spend their days walking on eggshells, always in an anticipatory mode of trying to avoid conflict or agitating the narcissist.  Being in a constant state of anxiety can have devastating health consequences for the victim, as chronically elevated cortisol levels wreak havoc in the body.  Somatic symptoms are common in those who are in a marriage or partnership with an NDP, such as gastrointestinal distress, headache, and anxiety symptoms such as heart palpitations and shallow breathing.

The emotional fallout of living with an NPD can be completely debilitating, even resulting in self-harm, substance abuse, or suicide ideation.  On the surface, the marriage may seem completely normal.  In public, the narcissist is skilled at keeping the “mask” on, only revealing his or her true self behind closed doors.  For this reason, in most cases friends and family are unaware that the seemingly nice guy is actually very abusive in private.

Some of the ways the NPD affects the victim might include:

Becoming emotionally detached from environment (dissociation) as a means of self-protection. Includes emotional numbness.

Sacrificing one’s own needs and desires to please the NPD

Becoming distrustful of everyone, including self

Begin to self-isolate, withdrawing from others

Blaming self for the abuse

Defending the abuser, rationalizing or minimizing the behavior

Become so dispirited that suicide becomes a consideration

Become physically weak

Become completely dependent on the abuser

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery for Victims

Extricating oneself from an NPD partner is extremely difficult.  Often the victim is a stay-at-home mom or somehow financially dependent on the abuser, making it hard to walk away.  Making an escape plan is advisable, with the assistance of a therapist, domestic violence advocate, or social services professional.  All of these support sources can help in planning the escape.  In many cases, a victim’s mental health breakdown may initiate separation from the abuser, where the beginning of the recovery process can begin.

While in the marriage or relationship, it helps to keep a journal where the victim can express their emotions safely on paper.  This can ease stress and also help to clarify how serious the situation has become.  The most important source of help comes in the form of psychotherapy.  Psychotherapy can be provided in an outpatient or inpatient setting, depending on the needs of the victim.  During therapy the victim will begin the process of learning how to establish healthy boundaries, and to rebuild their sense of self-worth.  Trauma therapy is important during the healing process, as is self-care and lots of patience as the emotional wounds heal.

The Treatment Specialist Will Locate Treatment for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

The Treatment Specialist is a knowledgeable team of mental health and dual diagnosis specialists who can assist someone who seeks Narcissistic Abuse Recovery from being in a relationship with an NPD.  Our compassionate specialists understand the pain you are in and can offer free locator services to guide you toward the best narcissistic abuse recovery program for your needs.  Recovering from being a victim of abuse takes specialized therapy and patience.  Contact The Treatment Specialist today for free assistance in finding effective treatment and support.  Call (866) 644-7911.

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