#and also i get along with my siblings so much better now that i dont live with them

[theintelligentfool]

you guys i love college so much

[star-girl69]

Your Girl

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

synopsis: late at night, you and clarisse get to know one another.

a/n: ykw i dont even know what i write anymore just enjoy it i truly just listen to the wind oh my god

Your Girl - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: im sorry im obsessed w the nightmare trope, friends to lovers MEYOW, HURT COMFORT, clarisse just wants to KISS, light tension, very light and fluffy tho…. not a lot of angst tbh, POSSESSIVE CLARISSE I SCREAMED, mutual pining YESSSSS, they’re in love but they don’t think the other could be in love w them, clarisse knows what she wants and sets out to get it, monsters- again it’s a drakon bc i’m evil, mentions of death, swearing, mentions of weapons, weed and smoking, substance abuse idk if it’s addiction my health teacher would be so disappointed, shotgunning weed, idk what’s happening honestly we’re all along for the ride, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

You don’t know where Clarisse gets it from, but she has good weed.

They’re these perfectly little rolled blunts, with some sort of amazing concoction inside- you can’t even be bothered to care that it’s bad for you. Not when it makes you feel so good, not when it makes everything else fade away.

So, that’s why you’re here now. Sitting in the woods, leaning against a rock covered in moss, staring up at the stars. Sometimes you talk, sometimes you’re just here next to each other. But tonight, you think you took one too many hits, so you’re feeling a little sentimental.

“I would fucking die without you, Clarisse.”

She snorts. “Yeah, probably.”

“No, no, not just like- because you’re so strong, and stuff, but because of this fucking weed. I can’t sleep without it, y’know.”

She hums.

“And, like, you need sleep to live, or else your brain will like eat itself, or something ridiculous. Did you know that?”

She looks at you, mouth curved into an unimpressed smile, eyebrows raised. “I didn’t, and I care so much. Thanks for telling me, leech.”

“That’s mean,” you huff.

“Then stop leeching off of me and stealing my weed.”

Clarisse always looks so pretty in the moonlight. You would never admit that to anyone, but in the dark when your head is all hazy- you know she’s pretty. She’s beautiful, if you’re being honest, but she’s also your dealer- you can’t risk upsetting her. But still, sometimes you’re not sure how she isn’t a daughter of Aphrodite.

But you know better than anyone else that she gets everything from Ares, like she’s a carbon copy of him.

She gets her precision, her strength, her tactical mind, her rolling storm of emotions from him.

Except, there’s a softness in her. Only here, in the moonlight. You don’t know if it’s you or the weed, but you like to think it’s you. You like to think that Clarisse likes you as much as you like her, not just tolerates you for your mediocre company.

She’s sitting with one foot planted onto the ground, hair pulled back all messy, her arm balancing on her knee. The joint is held out conveniently towards you, lazily in between her fingers, so you flip yourself onto your stomach and reach out with open lips.

She smiles and flips the joint around, placing it onto your lips. Your close your eyes and your mouth, breathing in deeply. Gods, does it taste horrible, but you love it too much.

You pull back and breathe out the smoke.

“You love me, and my weed-stealing tendencies.”

“Uh, yeah, okay,” she rolls her eyes.

—-

Clarisse probably trains more than any other demigod at camp. Thirty minutes after dinner, like clockwork, you can find her heading to the field where all the sparring dummies live.

Clarisse is probably your only true friend at camp. You stick to yourself for the most part, hang out with your siblings, but besides for that it’s Clarisse. And she’s the same way. She hangs out with her siblings, and then you. Of course- everyone at Camp knows her name and her ruthless reputation.

You’re unknown, she’s known. She’s the best fighter you’ve ever seen, you’re mediocre, compared to her. She helps you at every turn, you’re the one getting helped by her. She’s mean to everyone, and you’re kind to whoever happens upon you.

You force each other to bring out the other sides of yourself no one gets to see. Clarisse gets to be soft, you get to be loud and annoying. You’re friends, but you both get something out of it.

She’s your friend, your dealer, your savior.

If the first day you came to camp, running through the woods with a drakon hot on your heels and your mouth split open into a scream- maybe Clarisse and her siblings wouldn’t have turned around and noticed the drakon.

Of course, Clarisse was the one who actually killed it, and she was the one who hoisted you up from where you had collapsed, breathing heavily. She was the one who actually made sure you weren’t hurt while your satyr protector panicked about having to face the Cloven Council.

She was the one who found you in the middle of the night, that drakon hissing in your ear, she was the one who gave you the claw she had pried from it’s dead body, she was the one who told you it was dead and nothing could hurt you in Camp.

“Clarisse!” you call, running towards her. Most campers like to wind down after dinner, so the field is empty.

“Leech,” she says when you reach her, leaning her spear against a dummy and stretching her arms above her head.

You always come everyday. You ask her the same question.

“Do you have it?”

She digs under her armor, pulling out the small cloth containing the blunt. “You would probably go insane if I didn’t.”

You feel calmer just looking at it. You smile sheepishly up at her.

“You know I can’t sleep without it, Clarisse.”

She looks away, stuffing it back under her armor, against her stomach.

“Maybe you should try and skip one night.”

You scoff. “I don’t feel like pulling an all-nighter, Clarisse.”

She nods, but her face is riddled with concern. “Okay, angel,” she mutters, so low you can barely hear it. But you do. You hear her call you angel, and you turn away instead of slamming your lips into hers.

—-

After that first night, you slept with that claw tight into your hand. And it was fine. You still had the occasional nightmare, but every demigod had those. But the older you got, the more monsters you learned about, the more comfortable you got with being a demigod- the more the nightmares came. Knowing the drakon was dead didn’t help, and the nightmares got worse and worse until Clarisse found you again one night.

You had drifted apart from her. She had her life and you had hers, but ever since you’ve been bonded by the nights.

She wrapped her arms around you and let you cry, mumbling about how she was the strongest demigod at camp, and there was the barrier, and nothing would ever get through to you.

She was soft in that moment. And you could tell she regretted it, because she ignored you for the next few days until one of her siblings pushed you to the ground. She appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his shirt, yelling that if he ever touched you again, she’d fucking kill him.

While he sputtered and asked why she cared about some stupid weak girl, she helped you up and said: “She’s my girl.”

And since that day 3 months ago, you’ve always been her girl. Neither of you really knew what that meant, except you liked being around each other and you liked this transaction. Clarisse liked owning something. You liked belonging to someone.

That’s what this entire friendship is about- convenience.

So, that’s why Clarisse being concerned about you makes you feel weird. You care about Clarisse, she cares about you- but only enough that she doesn’t want to see you hurt by someone else. But who is she to stop you when you’re the one hurting yourself?

You arrive at the rock in the forest, fingers twisting together. Clarisse is already there, lighter and blunt set out on the ground, polishing her spear.

“Hey,” she says, looking down.

“Hi.”

You sit down, eager to get your hands on the weed and forget about the way Clarisse’s concern confuses you.

You stare at your shaking hand.

Gods, are you really that nervous?

Clarisse’s eyes are sharp, she notices everything, she processes it much faster than you can ever dream to. It’s why she’s so quick in battle. She’s a well oiled machine and you’re the one job she’s assigned to do- she knows you by heart after all these nights.

Her spear is pushed off her lap. “Why are you shaking?” she says, voice low and raspy, her hand cupping yours.

“Low blood sugar,” you lie. “I’ll grab a snack before I go to bed.”

She says nothing, but you watch her hesitate as she grabs the blunt and the lighter from the ground, you watch her hesitate again as she goes to light it. But she lights it, she sticks it in between her fingers and holds it out to you.

“C’mere,” she mutters, and you lean forward and let her place the blunt on your parted lips. You breathe in, only for a few seconds, and you could go for a lot longer.

“I wasn’t done,” you huff as she takes her own drag.

“My weed,” she shrugs. “I decide how much you get.”

“You’re a bitch.”

She laughs. She laughs and it makes your stomach twist in such a good way you can’t feel like this anymore, you can’t remember what she does to you, what she called you.

You reach out blindly for the blunt, biting your lip as you practically climb on top of her.

“Clarisse!” you yell, but she seems to find your desperation hilarious, holding the blunt out as far as she can. “I fucking hate you, oh my Gods.”

“Okay, okay, fine,” she says, pushing you off of her. You realize you’re laying on your stomach in between her legs, one hand planted to the ground around her leg, the other reaching out.

She leans back and takes another drag. You roll your eyes and move to attack her, but she’s too fast, sitting up and holding your hand down, her other hand grabbing your chin. She breathes out the smoke right into your lips that are parted in shock, smiling as you stare right into her amused eyes.

She leans back while you sit there stupidly on top of her, blowing out the smoke. “That- that’s- I hate you, did I mention that?”

“You did,” she muses. “But we both know you’re lying.”

You look at her, at her wide smile, at the look in her eyes. You want nothing more than to be her girl- her girl in the way that she’ll kiss your head, tell you about all the things you’ll never do, she’ll lay down with you in a bed of soft pillows. Her girl in the way the reason she’s soft in the moonlight isn’t the weed, it’s because of you. Her girl in the way you can run to her, the way you do now, but with the added connotation of love.

You grab the joint, and she lets you, watching intently as you breathe in and blow out the smoke. She has no right to be worried over you. Not when you’re the one making the choice to waste away your youth. And especially when you’re not her girl- not in the way you want to be.

—-

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come,” she hums.

You sit back against the rock. Normally, you would have been here 20 minutes ago.

You didn’t catch her after dinner, and you stayed firmly in your bed until it all got to be too much. You’re terrified of sleeping, of the nightmares that will come- but for some reason, the weed just puts you at such ease that you don’t have any nightmares.

You didn’t want to be near Clarisse tonight. Not after yesterday, not after the way she’s been making you feel, and the fact that you know she could never really like you. Why would she? You are the stupid weak girl who gets pushed over. You run from drakon’s and can’t even sleep because of nightmares.

Clarisse is fiercely protective of those she loves, but you’re too much work.

You wanted to go one night. One night without the weed, and prove to her and yourself that you don’t need it. You’re not that weak.

But you couldn’t.

You sit down, she looks at your tense shoulders and doesn’t tease you, just hands you the blunt. You mumble something of a thank you, looking up at the stars, shoulders relaxing after a few more breaths.

“I, uh, I tried to skip. Tonight, I mean. I tried not to come.” It’s embarrassing to admit this. You’re so scared of the nightmares that even if it’s a placebo effect, you come back to this clearing every night.

“But you couldn’t?” she asks.

“I couldn’t,” you affirm, staring at the ground.

“Well, you can’t just go cold turkey, dummy. You have to wean yourself off of it. Do you not remember, like, any of those nicotine patch ads?” she laughs. “You’ve got a good memory, you remember.”

“Shut up, meanie,” you mumble, raising the joint to your lips. She stops you.

“Ah-ah. Starts now. Make it a good one, ‘cause that’s your last, baby.”

“Fine,” you mumble, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. You breathe in for a long time, tempted to go a little longer, but Clarisse reaches over and pinches your cheek. “Okay!” you yell, throwing the joint back to her.

She laughs and raises it to her own lips, taking in another long drag before putting it out.

You look at her, silent question in the air. She shrugs.

“Been meaning to slow down for a while, why not do it together?”

“Yeah,” you hum, looking back towards the stars. “Oh, hey, Ares is out tonight.” She looks over.

“Yeah,” she muses. “Fuckin’ Ares.”

“It’s still beautiful,” you say, stars in your eyes. “You have to think about it the way mortals do. They don’t know the Gods put them up there- they think it’s just some random spotting of stars, they think they made patterns out of it. Isn’t that beautiful? To make patterns and people out of stars? To look for humanity where there is none?”

“I never thought about it like that,” Clarisse says.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” you ask. You can feel her eyes on you.

“Yeah,” she affirms. “Beautiful.”

—-

The next two weeks goes by the same. You don’t catch Clarisse after dinner, but you come every night, you smoke a little less, she teases you and gets closer to you. She gets bolder and bolder and you get shyer and shyer.

You still feel like too much. If she just lets you prove this to her and to yourself, the maybe you can lean against the rock with her and flirt back.

—-

You meet Clarisse by the rock. She’s still standing, waiting for you. She takes the last of the blunt you’ve been using for the last few days and lights it, taking one small drag before she flips it around and holds it out to you.

“C’mon,” she guides. “Not too much, I’ll stop you.”

You feel kind of like a baby as Clarisse puts the joint on her lips, fingertips against your face to steady her hand. You breathe in for just a second, tempted for more, but she takes it away. You look up at her, fingers twisted together.

“Clarisse, I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

She leaves the blunt to blow out in the wind in the natural dip of the rock, your own little ashtray at the top. Of course, Clarisse will come and collect it the next morning- you don’t want to upset the nymphs and satyrs in the forest.

“It’s a good idea,” she affirms. “Don’t worry, okay?”

You’re scared. You remember being chased by the drakon even now, you remember it’s snarls, you remember it’s claws moving through the air. You remember your heart pumping in your ears, you remember the stones in your stomach that were supposed to be fear.

You feel like Kronos, but what you swallowed wouldn’t just sit idly inside of you- no, your fear would rip through your stomach and your skin and burst out of you in an explosion of blood, like some sick joke of a firework.

She grabs your wrists. Clarisse is soft, here, in the moonlight.

“Hey, it’s okay. I-I was thinking, I didn’t know if you were gonna be okay, but why don’t you sleep in my cabin?”

You shift on your feet. “Clar, no, I can’t ask you to do that. What if we get caught? And I-I- it’s embarrassing, what if your siblings see? What if they tell everyone?”

Clarisse rolls her eyes and tugs you closer from where you had subconsciously started to drift away.

“They already think we’re dating, anyways. Besides, Y/N, no one cares. Most of my siblings have secrets anyways,” she smiles.

“Wh- we’re dating? They think- why?”

Her face is deadpan. “‘Cause you’re my girl.”

You pull back. “Clarisse.”

“What?” she says, slightly incredulous. “You are. You’re about the only person I can tolerate at this camp. I hope you know that. I know I can be horrible, but really, I… care about you a lot.”

You look in her eyes. There’s no lies, no insincerity.

“I know, Clarisse. And I… I appreciate it so much. You’re, like, my only friend,” you smile.

She smiles back but it’s tight. “Friend, yeah.”

You put your arms around her neck and hug her. It’s the first time you’ve ever really hugged her, and her arms wrap tight around your waist. Her mouth presses against your hair. You let yourself be her girl in this moment.

Clarisse is your best friend. She cares about you. Of course she helps you with this. She’s your best friend. Of course you let her.

—-

You do follow Clarisse back to the Ares cabin, back to her bed- and she points to one of her siblings you can’t see in the dark, but there are two figures in the bed. She smiles and you stifle a laugh.

You know better than anyone else that big bad Ares kids are like a marshmallow on the inside. They act all tough, and they are pretty tough, but there’s a soft spot inside of them only unlocked by one person with the right key.

You notice her sibling has their arm around the other person. You wonder if Clarisse will wrap her arm around you like that too.

Clarisse climbs into her bed, opening the covers for you. The beds at Camp are twin sized, but you can fit two people on them if you’re close together. You don’t hesitate, not anymore, not when you have one chance to pretend you’re really hers.

You lay on your side, facing her, hands tucked up by your chest. Her eyes meet yours, she brushes her curls out of her face.

“Good?” she asks. You nod, breathing out.

“‘M fine,” you say.

She rubs your arm, cold from the dark night. “Just relax, okay? Just close your eyes, Y/N.”

You do, you close your eyes, but you’re so fucking terrified you can’t.

“Clarisse,” you breathe, a plead. For what, you don’t know. You want a million things from her in this moment. It’s not fair of you to ask her, you know this, but it doesn’t stop you from asking.

Your breath comes fast, your nails dig into your palms, but you keep your eyes screwed shut like sleep will just magically hit you like a train.

“It’s okay,” Clarisse says, firm. “Why are you so scared?” she whispers.

“They’re so real,” you whisper, your voice breaking.

“They’re not.”

She wraps her arms around you so tight you feel like she’s crushing you. But it keeps you in the moment. If you focus on the way her skin feels against yours, on the way her thumb brushes your shoulder blade, her fingertips scratching the back of your scalp.

If you focus, if you imagine all the thing you and her will never do, if you imagine being her girl, then you can fall asleep.

You dream of her lips pressing against your head, her voice in your ear, calling you her angel.

—-

You wake up, Clarisse still wrapped around you, and slowly detangle yourself. Drool pools at the corner of her lips, and you have to bite back a giggle as you slip out of the blankets and into the warm riding sun.

She looks just as pretty in the sunlight as she does in the moonlight. You feel like a lover slipping out of a bed of secrets. But you’re not. You’re just a friend slipping out of a bed of rumors.

She looks so peaceful, you can’t help but wonder if she always sleeps like this- or if having you next to her had the same effect on her sleep as it did to yours.

—-

There’s a loud knock at your cabin door.

There’s only you and a few of your siblings in here, putting the final touches on their outfits for the day, grabbing the last items they need. One of your younger siblings open the door, and you look around the pillars- maybe it’s a counselor doing some sort of inspection? You take a glance around your bunk- but it’s all clean.

Your eyes meet hers.

“Out,” she says, roughly. She looks at you so intently you almost wonder if she’s talking to you. But when you siblings stand there in shock, she looks away. “Well? I said get out, dummies.”

They exchange looks with you, but eventually shuffle out, not wanting to risk Clarisse and her wrath.

She shuts the door behind your last sibling.

“Being tough has it perks, huh?” she smiles, leaning against the door. Your shirt isn’t even pulled on properly, one of your bra straps is already falling down your shoulder from the act of putting your shirt on, and you’re staring at her with your mouth wide open.

She looks you up and down.

“C-Clarisse, what-?”

She walks over to you, frown etched onto her face.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.”

“Oh,” you say. “I… I thought you would have wanted me gone-”

“Don’t care. If you’re going to sleep with me then you need to wake me up and tell me you’re leaving.”

She rolls her eyes at your confusion. She sits on your bed and then gestures animatedly for you to sit down.

“Did you not sleep well?” she fusses. “What’s up with you this morning?”

“I slept great, Clarisse, it’s just- why are you here?”

“To tell you that you can’t leave,” she deadpans. “I mean, you spend all night shaking in my arms, terrified, and then I wake up and you’re not there? I almost killed someone. You’re lucky I decided to check here first, Y/N.”

She laughs. She laughs like it’s so funny.

“Why?” you ask.

“‘Cause you’re my girl,” she shrugs. “And-”

“Clarisse, what does that mean?”

You know what you want. And you’re not dumb, but you’re the only friend Clarisse really has- what did you have to compare it to? You’ve been thinking about it in your head, rolling it around like a diamond- each side reflects something you want from her. Her love, her protection, her touch, her time, her.

She plays with her fingers. “It means… I like touching you. I like protecting you. I like being near you. I like your voice and your face.”

She stares at you blankly, like she’s recounting a grocery list, waiting for an affirmative “yes, I heard you.” But all you can do is stare in shock, trying to make your brain catch up with your heart- Clarisse likes your face. Clarisse feels the same way you do. You can be her girl, and you’re not too much for her, you’re not just friends.

“Oh, fuck it,” she mumbles. She places her hand on your face and pecks your lips. “That’s what it means, okay? I’m, like, embarrassingly in love with you, if you haven’t noticed.”

Clarisse is so blunt and forward it makes your head spin.

She stares into your eyes, searching them for something other than shock and confusion.

“Okay,” she says. Shuffling back. You can tell she’s hurt and embarrassed, but her face reveals nothing other than faux confidence and indifference. “I’ll go, I guess-”

“Bitch,” you mumble, slamming your lips onto hers.

It feels so overwhelmingly right and fills you with such a calmness that weed could never compare to. If you were dependent on the joints, then one taste and you’re addicted to Clarisse. She kisses you back with just as much ferocity, throwing your arms around her neck, trying to swallow you whole with her mouth as she grabs your neck with one hand, your face with the other.

It’s months of tension and wanting, lips touching through the passing of a joint, all of it coming down to this moment that feels so bad, so sinful- surely the Gods must frown upon loving someone this much. You would never pray to any of them again if it meant Clarisse would keep kissing you like this.

When she finally pulls back, you’re both smiling wide, leaning into her palm, hands playing with the curls at the base of her neck. You feel like a giddy school girl. You feel like a lover discovering something wildly new and unknown, promising to keep it secret, sealing it with a kiss of pure fire.

“That was such a mean way to confess to someone,” you say. “Just bitchy. Brass and blunt- harsh, even.”

“Shut up,” she mumbles, pressing her face against yours.

“Yeah, it’s okay. I know you’re a big softie who drools in her sleep.” She pulls away and glares at you.

“I don’t fucking drool, Y/N. You’re seeing things.”

You fake frown, bringing her closer to you. “Such a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend.”

“My girlfriend?” she breathes, swollen lips parting like she’s aching to kiss you again.

“Your girlfriend,” you affirm, staring straight into her eyes.

You sunk more into becoming a demigod and all it got you was nightmares and a fear of sleeping. But the more you sunk into being her girl, the more you sunk into loving her and being loved.

You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from. Certainly not from her father. She didn’t learn to kiss your head from him. She didn’t learn how to hold you, how to call you hers, how to whisper in your ear from Ares.

You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from, but it’s good.

—-

SHOUTOUT TO clarisse “cause you’re my girl” la rue LOVE YOUR POSSESSIVE ASS!!!!!!!!

—-

clarisse when y/n smokes weed: oh so pretty……

clarisse when y/n can only fall asleep bc of her arms or her weed: my girl fr……..

clarisse when y/n: oh my wonderful perfect angel

—-

y/n: BITCH

clarisse: YOURE SO HOT FUCK

—-

where did clarisse get her weed from you may ask? me that’s where she got it from i ripped through the fabric of reality to give it to her to make this happen actually and you’re welcome

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish

@sincerely-silk

[s0urw00lf]

Hello ! Anonymous who asked for the Neteyam x reader.

They dont have to necessarily be ennemies, but maybe more like two people whom has so much in common, eldest of two great clan leaders, with all the pressures that comes with it and to watch over their siblings, take the blame, but for the love of Ewya despite this they can’t see eye to eye.

I hope it helps you ! You can diverge a bit from the scenario if you want

One and the same

Pairing: Neteyam x reader

Summary: you and Neteyam are basically the same person, but for the lives of you can’t get along

Warning: none I don’t think

An: thank you SO much for clarifying that made writing this so much easier. I wasn’t sure if you were going to see it but I’m happy you did. Also I’m so sorry I didn’t see this in my inbox until last night and I wrote this on a time crunch so it is a teeny bit rushed. But I hope you enjoy!!

You watched the sully kids from afar as your siblings taught them how to control their breath. You noticed the eldest was having the most trouble, and you felt for him truly. You saw yourself in him, as if you were looking at your reflection in the water. You approached them, “may i help with anything?” You asked Tsereya. She nodded, gesturing to the oldest sully sibling “he needs a little more help” you frowned nodding, noting the frown on his face matching yours. Neteyam is very adept, so you couldn’t imagine how infuriating it was for him to not be able to grasp a task. “Follow me please” Neteyam got up following you as you led him to a more secluded place on the rocks, a place you come often to find peace. You sat crossing your legs and he followed.

the one thing you hated about him was that he was very stubborn, as were you. “Neteyam please i am trying to help you” you pleaded irritated. he sighed “i goi it i just need time” he shook his head. Rolling your eyes, “you wont be able to control your breaths if your heart is fast”. “It will slow just give me a second” he said. You turned your head toward Tsereya and the rest of the sully’s. Tsereya was already watching you she had a hand covering her mouth laughing, Lo’ak stood beside her with a small smile. ‘He’s being stubborn’ you signed to her.

She tilted her head with a smile ‘you are just as, sister’ she signed back. You huffed angrily, as much as you hated it she was right. ‘Eywa please grant me the patience’ you thought. “If you will not let me help you i will go help someone who will” you said standing up, before you could take a step he grabbed your arm, ��no i- i just- I’m calm now” he stuttered. You nodded sitting back down in your previous position. You placed your hand on his chest and felt the light ‘thump’‘thump’‘thump’, his heart rate was significantly lower, not as low as it should be but you could work with it. “Better?” He asked sounding sarcastic but you couldn’t tell if it was that or if he’s just nervous. The session carried on extremely slow for the both of you, for some reason being in each other’s presence just ticked you both off.

You’d easily avoided Neteyam around the village even though at some points you were sure he was everywhere just trying to get on your nerves. But somehow you had ended up with him and his brother, your siblings and, roxto way past the reef. So when you got back you’d all been scolded by your parents, and you watched with anger in your eyes at Neteyam taking the fall for his brother. “What the hell did we talk about huh? What happened to behaving?” You overheard Jake scolding his sons “it is my fault sir” Neteyam said, causing your blood to boil. You hated that he did that, taking the fall for his sibling, you hated it. You hated it even more because it’s exactly what you did, you stood taking your parents scolding head on, ears pinned back tail pin straight. You must of all hated how he watched from afar at you taking the scolding, he scoffed shaking his head, braids following with the sway of his head and walked away.

Later that day you found yourself walking down the beach, you hated how much you could see yourself in him. Because if you were an outsider looking in you’d think how stupid it is being the eldest of the great clan leader. How you’d tell yourself to just stop and do what you wanted to, but you couldn’t and neither could he.

The clans annual celebration rolled around very soon, and excitement was in the air. You wore a one piece (almost like a dress) made out of crystals, shells and pearls, the back was out, to show your tattoo’s. You sat with your parents watching your people dance around with gleeful smiles on their faces.

You sat imbetween your parents, ounung and Tsireya with whoever that came to the celebration with. Your mom nudged your arm “you should go dance” she said in a soft voice, your mother wasn’t usually so relaxed but during any celebration she knew that it was a time for fun. You almost let out a laugh at the suggestion “with who mother? No one will want to dance with the Olo’eyktan’s scary eldest daughter” you stated rolling your eyes. Your father let out a booming laugh, catching the attention of you and people of the clan. “I wouldn’t speak so soon daughter” he said with a smile looking ahead, you follow his line of sight only to see the oldest of Jake and Neytiri walking towards you, only then did you notice how quiet the clan got. They knew no one had the guts to approach you, let alone the guy you had yet to get along with long enough for a decent conversation. He greeted your parents with an ‘I see you’ and vice versa, then hit turned to you “y/n” he said. “Neteyam?”

“I would like to ask for your hand in a dance” he said holding out his hand. You tilted your head amused, he was the very first guy to ever try and ask for a dance, let alone in front of your parents. “I accept” you said, much to the surprise of everyone. Except for your parents and Tsireya, you heard her ‘finally’ from across the beach. You placed your hand in his and he led you toward the crowd of dancing na’vi. He then let out a breath, “i am not sure how to dance like your people” he admitted. You laughed “it’s okay forest boy, just follow my lead” you said.

BONUS: your parents pov: “they were so obvious” laughed Tonowari , Ronal smiled “very much so, but they are good for each other. They will be good leaders.” Ronal said.

Jake and neytiri POV: “cant believe he finally did it” Jake said astonished, “he did it the right way” neytiri said proudly.

The siblings: “finally” kiri groaned watching her brother lead you toward the crowd. “They were so obvious Tsireya giggled. “You owe me sully” ao’nung said grinning as he held his hand out, “you couldn’t have waited another week?” lo’ak groaned handing Ao’nung the knife he’d betted.

[diegosumbrella]

My observations from s4 of Umbrella Academy

I dont even wanna talk about the main plot of whatever the fuck that car crash of a season four was, but heres some plot discrepancies I noticed while watching Umbrella Academy.

!! Season four spoilers under the 'see more' !!

- Luther's unnecessary body change

It's stated so clearly in s1 that Luther never gained his body from the marigold or developed it along with his powers. When he was up on that mission on the moon, he had an accident and Pogo had to donate his blood which resulted in Luther having that monkey body we all know and love.

So as Luther drank that said marigold, why would he suddenly gain back the blood donated from pogo and the body that comes along with that..? It's as if the writers themselves forgot why he had that body. Why write in unnecessary body dysphoria for my poor baby?

- Diego's sudden appearance of ab's

Listen. I am the last fucking person to complain about a Diego Hargreeves shirtless scene, where you see his pecs quite literally bounce BUT why did he change so drastically from 'dad bod' to suddenly 'ripped'?

I read an article interview with Steve Blackman and saw a few snippets from a podcast that explained that David (Diego's actor) didn't want to gain weight for the role, which is totally understandable. But if you have an actor who doesn't want to gain weight for this role, why not just keep Diego as fit?

Due to the short six episodes, it's extremely easy to miss how Diego slowly becomes more fit as time progressed. For most, and also myself at first, that fighting scene just looked confusing as fuck. Like two episodes before, Lila was calling you 'tubby' (or whatever the fuck she said), so why do you have abs now?? Where did the dilf diego dad bod disappear to :(

- Allison's beloved Ray just leaving her

I'm not sure if i'm taking this the wrong way completely but... In the scene after Allison had given Klaus the marigold against his wishes, but also to save his life. As Klaus is calling out every member of the family, he mentions how he 'took care of Allison when Ray walked out'.

Like i'm sorry but the fuck do you mean Ray just walked out?? Why did he leave Allison if she had no powers. She'd clearly built a better life for herself and began to change her mindset for the better, compared to s3 she's drastically better.

It's never explained (probably again for the lack of episodes) and it's never even mentioned again. Like does Allison share custody of Claire with Ray? Does Claire even see her father? I have so many questions and once again, a severe lack of answers.

- Klaus breaking his five year sobriety

As much as us as an audience are aware of Klaus' addictive tendencies and his utter thirst for form of drug in the former seasons, but why establish that he's not only been sober for three entire years but he's also now a huge germaphobe just for him to ruin it in five seconds.

The main problem I had with this is the fact none of the siblings, including and most importantly Allison, had zero reaction to this. They weren't upset, angry, disappointed or fuck it even happy. They practically ignored the fact their brothers three year detox went out the window.

Five's ability to time jump

Before I get you all jumping up my arse, i'm fully aware I could discuss how they completely just fucked his character development and his entire personality as a whole for a shitty romance that made absolutely no sense but I'm gonna make a separate post on that because oh boy do I have some shite to say.

ANYWAY.

I can't even go into much detail with this one but why is it that every time five attempts to do his time jumps, he ends up in that subway but when he does it with Lila in that end episode.. he can suddenly just jump..?? normally?? Like why. Why can he now only just time jump as he used too. WHY WAS THE SUBWAY NEEDED FOR OTHER THAN FOR THAT AWFUL FIVE X LILA PLOT????

It's as if the writers couldn't come up with a way to get the brellies into that building with Ben so instead of using critical thinking and writing them breaking in, they just said 'fuck it make him time jump with Lila'. Like no I have questions??

[goomyloid]

PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN

i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing

i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far

tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh

ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn

so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.

back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.

im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?

jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless

thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise

and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?

no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…

she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.

[blacklegsanjiii]

First of all im so sorry for the long askbut!! New parent idea 💥💥 i present to you: King

Now hear me out, you might be thinking ‘really??? King from wano the bird guy?? Why tf’ but my good sir there are multiple reasons

1. Fire! King is from a race called lurarians (he’s infact the last of his people because theyre world wide known as beautiful because of their white hair, dark skin and beautiful black wings) lurarians are also known to be able to set themselves on fire! So that fits prettyyy well with sanji

So if we take pt 1 with us and expand it...

2. Test subject ✨ we all know Sanji is judge 3rd expiriment and also that vegapunk has made the seraphims of the warlords combined with kings lurarian DNA to make very strong clones. Judge and vegapunk were also in a science group together so they might have some shared notes and materials...

So that brings me to the parent King au...

What if vegapunk and judge kept in touch and decided to keep King in germas dungeon for the foreseeable future because its very well guarded etc etc so he is essentially both vegapunk and judges labrat

And when judge is busy with Sora and Reiju he notices that while reiju hasnt failed his expectations for power, he can always do better so with the quadruplets he also decides to mix kings lurarian DNA in for even stronger child soldiers (so 1234ji have 3 bio parents lmao)

Maybe this alters their appearance also a bit? (Mini baby wings 🥺 that they hide becausd its a weakness maybe 124ji got them amputated later in life while sanji ofcourse kept his hidden)

But anyway canon continues and sanji gets thrown into the dungeon with his mask... Here he meets a huge winged man. First days maybe weeks they dont really talk but sanji is a child and starts talking to king because he's lonely

They startbonding and in the next almost year that sanji is stuck there they really learn to love each other and sanji shows king his baby wings and king just decides 'yup thats my kid' teaches him to groom and how to fold/hide them without being in to much pain

But then vegapunk and judge fight and split up, king was originally vegapunks labrat so he is also taken from sanji.

Canon continues with them both respectively escaping,king tried to find sanji but couldnt bc germa is very stealthy and nobody knows where they are so he joins kaido etc etc

And then they meet again in wano.

Thoughts :0?

I had to double check King's age to make sure this is plausible and yeah, he's 47. He can fully adopt Sanji. I support this fully, fire boys unite! Also imagine Heterochromia!Sanji, one blue eye and one red.

King who is Vegapunks labrat being experimented on for a good while before Reiju and the quads come along, hell, even before Sora coming along. Captured as a teenager and being held captive and tortured for years. Eventually he's locked in the dungeon and left there to rot even after Vegapunk leaves to focus on other things but leaves him in Germa. No one really interacts with the Lunarian except to bring him food and water to keep him alive in case they do decide they want to do something with him again. What it could be he doesn't know what more they could do.

Judge however has gotten married and had a daughter already but notices her flaws and while she's not a full failure, he could do better. So he infuses the Lunarians DNA with those of his coming sons, despite his wife taking that poison she won't be able to do much to get rid of that at least. He can deal with the other failures she causes later but right now he's unworried. Even when the children come, the third one is wrong, he's blond instead of darkhaired, he's easily bruised. Unfortunate really. He had high hopes for that one particularly, for the stealth instead of brute force the others were for.

He sees the wings and knows he still at least has the Lunarian DNA, he might still have some use. Maybe.

He's not and it's clear by the time Sanji is six. Weak and crying and frail compared to his siblings. He has a full range of emotions which even Reiju doesn't have. Disgusted Judge throws him in the dungeon, a metal cover his head and unconcerned if he dies down there, Sanji screaming and crying for him to come back. Apologizing to his father over and over again as if it will change anything. It doesn't. He's trapped alone in the cell but there's someone down here with him. There's a man, tall with white hair and black wings like he has, only a few years older than his mother. He's telling Sanji to quiet down, no one will come get him. Sanji can't stop crying so he apologizes and sits in the back of his cell. King gives his real name to the kid, introduces himself as Alber to the boy, he is a boy after all, small and frail and so utterly broken and too young to be there. He knows what it's like to be a failure after all. It takes all of a day for King to see the small black wings the kid has. His wings are in awful condition: Bald spots, cuts, bruises, broken feathers. King remembers what that was like, the uncomfortable feeling and itching, those wings are from Lunarians though, so this kid has his DNA or there's another Lunarian here possibly. Both are bad options, no one should be forced to live as he has. No one.

They're together for a year and some change and in that time 124ji find out about Sanji and King almost burns the little princes for what they're doing. They have wings as well, atrophied and unworked like his are. He can only stretch his so far in this cramped cell. He hears the crunch of bones in the younger's cell. He throws fire at them once and is doused in water unforgivingly. They're incredibly close, King hasn't told the boy this where his wings come from and Sanji asks if he's where his red eye comes from and King says probably, albeit he's confused about that, he's only seen the blue one.

He teaches Sanji how to preen and hide his wings more comfortably and for protection. King tells him they will be his pride and joy and he will be able to fly with them. Sanji says he hopes so. They've been together for a year and some change when they take King away from Sanji. They tranquilize him and the last thing King hears is Sanji screaming and begging for them not to take him. He wakes up to Vegapunk telling him it's time to continue their work. King stays for a year, working on getting his wings back to functioning, preening and carrying for them. Then he escapes. It's a mess getting out but he needs to get out. Needs to find Sanji, his son. He will find his son.

So he breaks out and goes hunting for Germa but hears the kids saying Sanji better be dead since he's out of the dungeon, which means he escaped. As relieved as that makes him it means he has more searching to do. He looks and looks for years and years. He doesn't find him though and ends up in Wano under Kaido, working his way up to becoming an All Star. He hides who he is and decides he'll wait, maybe Sanji will pass by.

Sanji on the other hand is going through canon mostly normally, I think having King there would partially impact how he views woman but also for as much flirting as he does he doesn't actually sleep with anyone. Zeff found out he has wings while on the rock because he's crying about how fucked they are. Zeff is staring at the black wings attached to this kid and helps him hide them when they're saved, threatens the doctor to keep quiet.

Zeff helps Sanji rehab them before Baratie opens and after it does he lets the boy fly to his heart's content. Patty and Carne will save him if he falls in the water, he can still swim but his wings are not made for water. Is he still amazing at it? 100% but like, he's not a duck or a penguin. He's part Lunarian. He wears coats like the vice admirals and admirals do. Off his shoulders to hide his wings, to keep them safe as he goes about his day. He doesn't really over heat thanks to his Lunarian traits but when he gets cold, it's so fucking cold to him.

When he joins the crew everyone thinks he's kind of prissy with the full suit+extra jacket thing he has but...he's illegal. He's an illegal race and if he gets found out he's fucked. Drum island is when Luffy and Nami find out. Sanji is begging for Kureha and Chopper to not tell anyone which they assure they won't. Kureha does tell him he's lucky he only broke his back and not his wings. Chopper says they're in desperate need of preening and Sanji admits he hasn't done it since he left the Baratie because he didn't want to get caught. He mumbles it all of course but Nami and Luffy are looking at the black monstrous wings as they unfurl and Chopper is amazed at them. They're huge. He has to have a ten/fifteen foot wingspan(if not more but anime logic) and Luffy asks how you preen wings and Chopper shows him despite Sanji insisting he can do it himself. It's too late and Chopper and Luffy are preening a wing and it feels good. Zeff didn't even preen him, not unless Sanji asked and Sanji was too proud to ask normally. Even Nami touches them and is surprised how soft they are.

They leave with Chopper and make it off Drum island and to Alabasta and meet Ace. Sanji is fine in the heat, he's in so many layers though it concerns everyone but he waves them off. He's sworn Nami and Chopper to secrecy but not Luffy because he bought his silence with meat. Sanji is so lucky he didn't inherit more traits from Alber because that cigar marine is tailing them and here and if it wasn't for these covers over his wings h would put to death immediately. Even as they take Alabasta back he doesn't uncover his wings. Not until they leave again and Nami is getting upset with him saying they need preened and that she'll do it while he's on watch. Nico Robin has joined the crew and he doesn't trust her that much and he'd rather not trouble Nami at all but she basically throws him to his knees and starts preening. If Sanji moves to help she threatens to raise his debt which he doesn't understand.

Robin probably knows but no one has else finds out until post TS. He can sill sky walk, he still learned it and to keep his secret. But no one else knows, not until WCI/Wano. Sanji notices his brothers wings are gone and Sanji is the only one left with them. The black wings he cannot cover with his red cape so at least one is always showing as well as his red eye. It has wigged some of his crew out until he showed both eyes at the same time and Robin called him interesting in the way she does some poneglyphs or rituals she reads about.

It made his stomach turn. Just as it is now as he's being called interesting again and Pudding is saying their kids have wings like he does. Big Mom says she thought Lunarians are extinct and Judge says they are. The quadruplets are only infused with the DNA, not actually Lunarian. Sanji wants to vomit.

He'd claim to be an illegal race than to be a Vinsmoke. So during the escape he claims it. He flies and it's awkward so it's a combination of sky walking and flying. Carrying Luffy and Nami to safety. His bounty skyrockets as they head to Wano. It's higher than Zoro's as Nami preens his wings and Luffy coming to help after he's had a nap and some food that Sanji made. He's wanted dead or alive with Vinsmoke as his last name unfortunately and being Lunarian added to his list of crimes.

Everyone seeing his wings in Wano is new and he asks everyone not to touch them. Zoro is confused because the fuck cook? I'm your rival? And Sanji shrugs because he doesn't know what else to do. Then fights keep happening. He uses the raid suit a couple of times, the second time is the worst. He's fighting Alber, he's sure of it. He's so fucking sure but he's drilled through buildings and he's certain Alber is going to kill him for this.

Maybe after the raid Sanji finds a moment alone before Zoro and Luffy wake up. Maybe King the Wild Fire finds him and they talk and catch up. Maybe King preens his son's wings like he always wanted to. Maybe King joins the crew.

Maybe King went to the East Blue, found the Baratie, met Zeff. They would bond over the Eggplant. Sanji's second place in the bounties. When he gets to Egghead he has no sympathy for Vegapunk, he does for Kuma and Bonney but for what he's done to his family? Never. He will never forgive him.

[haveihitanerve]

Okay so theres quite a bit of Batcest hate out in the world- and I do have to admit, I view the Bats as family too, which is why I can understand, but there are certain ships that i understand, after all most of them are not related biologically at all, and are under no obligation to each other to be so, bruce literally says in one comic "Whether or not they're brothers is no matter, they're both my sons" or smth along those lines, pretty much his children may all be his children but that in no way has to make them siblings anyway im getting away from myself here, a list of batcest shippings i understand and my reasoning for why people might ship them together, if you don't wanna, don't read any further🙃

Bruce/Dick: Brudick is an old ship, actually, originally they were created as a gay couple, not openly, but heavily implied, and a way for people back in the day to "legally get married" was through adoption... Anyway I like BruDick when I see it because it just works Dick understands Bruce in a way no one else ever will, he was the first one, the original, his grief and experience mirrors Bruce's in a way that makes them so similar and yet so different, he is the light at the end of Bruce's tunnel, and theres just so much that can be written about them, angsty or fluffy, whether romantic or platonic

Jason/Tim: this one I also understand, to an extent, Tim needs someone who cares for him, Jason needs someone who understands him, Tim looked up to Jason, not as much as Dick but enough, he wants Jason to come back into the family, wants Jason and Bruce to forgive each other, he sees the good in Jason when no one else does, hes stubborn in his desire to mend their relationship- Jason on the other hand once he stops trying to kill Tim actually genuinely cares for him in a way he doesn't for anyone else in the Batfam, appreciates Tim's knowledge and perspective and I do believe, I honestly am not too sure on this, but he works with Tim first before anyone else??? i'm probs wrong on that one but I think... anyway I do like their pairing- it gives a nice contrast and they usually tend to love each other wholeheartedly, almost obsessively in the fics i read, which they kinda deserve, someone who loves them so much

Bruce/Jason: this one I get, but only after the pit. They're two sides of the same coin, Jason is only more willing to go for the final step and Bruce isn't, theres just so much of their morals that collide and snap, this honestly could just be a fic/pairing i like because of the angry smut and all, but yeah i like them, I feel like romance between them would make it easier for Bruce to get his point across about why he can't murder and why its wrong, and also vice versa

Dick/Jason: the two oldest, the ones who dealt with Bruce's shit the longest. Idk but something about them, they had almost personality flips, Jason was the happy go lucky one, then he went pit mad and now hes angry and snaps and Dick was the angry one hell bent on vengeance and now he's smiling and happy and trying to keep the fam together and all that, idk jason would let dick be angry again if they're a couple and let him release all the pent up anger/repressed inside and Dick would cool Jason's anger, bring back the joy in him, etc etc

Bruce/Tim: this one I'm still a lil on the fence about, I like it because it offers another side of Bruce and Tim's relationship, and it adds another way for Bruce to show he does actually care and appreciate and love tim and wants him in his life, and its another way for tim to soothe Bruce and bring him back from the edge and etc etc... don't have too much to add bc again im on the fence but yeah

so those are all that i got for now, yeah hope that maybe explained things better, probably just made things more confusing but i just had to get it out at one point :p overall i steer away from batcest in my fics and dont like to use it like that, theyre family, brothers sisters, parents in my heart, but sometimes theres just scenarios where they fit better as romantic partners... anyway thats all

[wassupmygays]

yap about ur headcanons about the socs pls!!

heheeh okay some misc things about the soc guys that have popped into my head throughout the week (im sorry this is so long)

EDIT: ok ive put it all under the cut bc it got so long but i do yap a little bit about each soc guy so please read hehe :)

Chet

chet and his family moved from california when he was in 3rd grade. his first friend in town was one sodapop curtis on his little league baseball team

his dad is a cop and wants to advance up the ranks, and his mom wants to make sure they keep up their good social standing, so chet was not friends with soda for long

you know those boys in like 5th grade that crack all the dumb jokes, hit all the door frames, and tease every girl "because he likes her"? thats chet and trip

this is inspired by @/sky4cherry iirc but chet does Nawt get attention at home man. his dad is always busy with work and a little mean (yknow how dads are in the 60s) and his mom is always working on the next social function or trying to appease his dad. anyways he is just always at another soc guy's house just to have someone Talk to him

i think he picks up drinking and smoking, and fighting, for a similar reason to bob: he just wants his parents to fucking notice he's doing something wrong. but theyre high enough now in the social and job spaces that they can just wipe any misdemeanors under the rug

i cant decide if chet is an only child, or if he has like 2 siblings that are way older than him. idk

Trip

terrance dipp is The Exasperated older brother ever. bro did Nawt want a little brother sorry melvin.

anyways unfortunately i do think trip is very much a guy's guy. that boy is Not a good boyfriend to marcia unfortunately :(((((( at least by the time we get to their sophomore year/the show

him and chet can not be sat together in class. they will never shut up or stop hitting each other.

chet broke his arm one time in like 6th grade. trip threatens to break it again at least once a month

ive said this before but ill say it again: trip and melvin are just soc steve and ponyboy. trip is so tired of his kid brother being in all his sports and trying to tag along to everything

that being said, he was looking out for melvin so much during the rumble. he knew their mom would kill him if he brought his brother home all beat up, but also he really really didn't want him to get too hurt.

he Always goes to marcia to patch him up after hes been in a fight. (after the rumble though, him and marcia are on the rocks, and hes got melvin to worry about. so he just sneaks melvin home and tries to clean him up before their mom sees. its actually a sweet bonding moment between them i think)

trip lovesssss verbally poking fun at any greaser in school, especially two-bit. after he realizes two-bit likes marcia, his mean jokes become a lot more threatening

(i do love trip i promise i just also think hes kinda a mean guy. you know the kind of rowdy douche bags in high school im talking about. im so sorry ksco and sean jones i promise i love trip kdjfkdjf)

Brill

clark brillstein i'll be so incredibly honest i dont have much in my brain for him :((( i gotta sit and think more

i do think he has one of the better home lives out of the bunch, and hes got his lovely perfect girlfriend, and hes good at sports, and honestly i think he just. gets tired of everyone thinking hes got it so perfect all of the time. i think maybe thats why he likes all the fighting so much

while he is relatively happy with his life rn, hes tired of being doted on like hes perfect. and also sometimes he sees everyone else's lives being so shitty, he feels likes hes got to pick fights to justify him feeling bad about his lot.

Paul

ohhh im gonna have to hold myself back from talking about him forever. he will get his own post at some point aDKFJDKFJK

anyways. paul holden. the messiest and most scared gay kid in the town of tulsa

i think he and bob literally grew up together. like their parents are Old old friends, so paul and bob have always basically been brothers despite a 2/3 ish year age difference (i dont feel like doing the exact math). i think bev's parents are also in this old friend group, so pauls known her forever too

anyways. he was probably the bob of his friend group in his class, which is why nobody really really protested darry being in their group. but i also think that when he was with darry, paul didnt really care about the whole social friend group of things too much.

contrary to popular belief i dont think paul is the friend-group-leader type. idk if that makes sense and i can yap about it more but.

anyways post-darry breakup paul is a fucking mess. hes sad and angry and those fights that darry was always trying to stop feel so damn good. maybe bob and his buddies are on to something, and bob's dad always has a full liquor cabinet

Bob

obviously we know the most about bob and his home life and inner psyche and reasons for fighting and honestly all of it really resonates in my brain. like yea im keeping all of that

bro has charisma to the max. like he has always been the ringleader of the friend group, even in like 4th grade when all the boys started becoming best buddies

he used to be such a mommas boy. before her praise just became so meaningless.

oh ive just had a revelation. he is an angrier and more resigned buddy aldridge from rotpl. his dad is pulling the strings to make sure his precious son is climbing all the right ladders.

the difference here tho is bob realized this earlier, and that started his spiral into fights and drinking and causing problems. he wanted to see what would finally make his dad stop covering and fixing everything for him. he never found that limit

he knows cherry cant stand the drinking, and i do think he does feel bad about ignoring her feelings about it. but his urge to push back against everything and spit in the face of anyone who tries to tell him how he should be just overpowers. and god everything is more fun when hes boozed up

[rnn11203]

How much do you think Demetrius/robin tried with Sebastian? I kinda see all the parents of stardew to be well meaning in a sense that i think they do truly love their children but they get swept up and do wrong due to their circumstances, resentment, and insecurity.

I think Pam loves Penny, but her addiction, raising penny on her own, losing her job… yk? All that pain turned into more pain, i think Pam knows penny has done far too much for her, but is too ashamed to fully realize it, so to cope she internalizes it and blames penny all over. Obsesses over her own sacrifices and her own pain and ends up neglecting her.

I think Jodi loves Sam and Vincent, but she also feels resentful, lamenting about a life not lived, she married young and now worries about a husband who is different from when he left. She’s afraid that Sam’s turned lazy, but also didnt want to repeat the wasted youth she missed out on too, she bottles her emotions and it creates anxiety for Sam specifically. Kent too, its interesting that Sam feels indifferent to his fathers return isnt it? All that lost time, strangers now, Sam had grown fine without him and perhaps this creates guilt for both of them.

I think Pierre and Caroline love Abigail, honestly, i dont think the “rumors” bother Pierre THAT much, i think sometimes he feels it, maybe after a particularly rough fight with either of his family members but i think he truly loves her, he’s her dad after all no matter who her father is. Caroline too, i think it’s just this unspoken thing for them, let the town gossip, they love their daughter. I dont think they understand her very well tho, and yk, she doesnt think they do either. Its one of those things where the more you try to understand, the less you hear. Abigails relationship with her parents reads more cliche teenager to me though, i headcanon that their relationships settle as she ages. I think Abigail would move out of the valley and travel frequently but i think shed make trips back to her family often. Mostly for holidays. I think Caroline specifically would still feel anxious and wish she didnt travel as much, but i think her and Pierre’s relationship gets better in the future too. (It’s funny, Pierre is one of the least popular characters but i actually really like him).

Which brings me to Sebastian, Robin, and Demetrius. Again with an unpopular opinion, when i first played, i really liked Demetrius. Although i did feel that robins side of the arguements were more “correct”.

I headcanon Sebastian’s age to be around 22-23~ while Maru’s is 18-19~. I also headcanon that Sebastians father simply just left while Seb was around 3~. Im curious to how others think him and robin met, im unsure if its ever mentioned in game but honestly i think they met due to work. Demetrius has stated that he studies the local flora and fauna and Robin is a carpenter, i imagine she has a lot of knowledge about pelican towns native plants and animals. I think they were smitten, i can see robin liking Demetrius more nerdy/dorky behavior and robins stern, playful, spitfire personality has captured the hearts of many players after all.

Sebastian comes off as a Velcro kid to me, i think he’d be a huge mamas boy and feel almost threatened by Demetrius. I think robin and Demetrius would marry quickly, and honestly i think Maru was a planned pregnancy, I think robin wanted to give Sebastian a sibling so he’d be less lonely, and i think they’d figure that bonding would happen easier if they were closer in age. I see this being very upsetting to Sebastian, i think he’d see his father once in a while but when hes around 12-13 it’s just.. silence.

Honestly, i think Demetrius would try really hard to bond with Sebastian. But once Maru came along both him and robin were just.. busy. I think Demetrius would unfortunately think “wow this is my first child!” And it alienated Sebastian. I think Sebastian feels abandoned. Replaced. Unwelcome. Which is why he struggles with opening up to others and prefers being alone.

Unfortunately i think robin and Demetrius would just think Sebastian was a more difficult child and that Maru was an easier baby. I think this would embarrass Sebastian and shame him, i dont think they ever meant anything by it but i do think Sebastian was a fussy child who wanted to be soothed. But after their comments, he’d isolate himself so that he too, would be an “easier” child for them. As Sebastian ages i think robin would feel she didnt do enough for him, i think she worries about him often but almost feels like it’s “too late”. I think eventually Sebastian would come to resent and feel mistreated by all his parents and as his behavior worsened, he’d get compared to Maru even more, furthering the resentment and pain he feels. I do think he’d be a meaner older brother though, causing Demetrius to be more protective over Maru causing stronger feelings of “you’re not my dad!” And etc…. Can you tell im sleepy yet?

TLDR: i think they would try their best but ultimately end up sidelining him, causing him to act out more until he just didnt care anymore.

[jaemified]

major, minor, and the things in between - nishimura riki

"are we friends, lovers, or whatevers in between?"

pairing ; nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ; slice of life, enemies to lovers-ish (y/ns mean to riki smh), romance, drama, fluff, small angst, non idol au

warnings ; swearing, drinking, brief mention of blood (someone gets cut), mention of offing yourself but its just niki making a joke

wordcount ; 7.0k

synopsis ; though never quite well acquainted, sim y/n had always felt strongly against nishimura riki, until her brother jake had forced them to get along. but, what was meant to have them get closer turns into something a little more.

note (5/29) - there isnt rlly much mention of jake/nikis actual siblings but for one scene theirs like additional (baby) siblings

note (7/10) - its finally here!! im a little upset it took me 2 months to write 7k since i used to be able to write 4k in 8hrs but summer has been kicking my ass so im glad its out despite being 10 days past release date

taglist 🏷️ ; @stinkoscope @asyleums

read below the cut !

"'when im with you, i.. im so happy. i like you, na bora!' 'i like you. i like you too! i really really like you!'" y/n cried at her computer screen, rewatching 20th century girl for the 2nd time this week, before being so rudely interrupted by her brothers presence, bugging her with the same, repetitive question. the same question hes been asking for years on end now.

"the guys are coming over and of course you know niki is gonna be here as well. i want you to talk to him. why cant you just be friends?"

"id appreciate it a lot if youd leave, this is my space."

"i dont know if you noticed, but this is a small flat with not much room to move around. its not only you living here you know." jake reminded.

of course y/n knew there was limited space, she knew the moment she first realized she had already circled about the unit, trying to escape her brothers nagging.

"if you know theres not enough room for you and me then what makes you think theres room to accommodate an additional 6 other grown ass men. go to your room, im doing homework.'

'annoying..'

"you were literally just crying watching 20th century girl milliseconds before i walked in, and im not asking much y/n! all i want is for you to talk to him, even pretend like youre getting along, thats it!" jake remarked, before catching the pillow y/n attempted to throw at his face.

'so damn annoying.' y/n thought, growing more and more annoyed by her brothers constant nagging as each second passed.

"whats so hard about getting along with niki? hes a good kid!" jake complained. since his little sister couldnt get along with one of his best friends, it made even the intimate gatherings.. unpleasantly awkward.

"hes annoying, like you are being right now."

"no, why do you really hate him so much."

"i dont know! he just reminds me of someone i guess? and he always cheated on projects back in middle school. even stole my ideas so he could make it look like im in the wrong."

"thats it? youre holding a grudge over him just being a middle school kid from, what, 5 years ago? cmon, theres gotta be something better then that. not to mention even if there wasnt, that makes you sound hella dumb holding a grudge from the 7th grade when youre graduating next year."

y/n thought to herself. of course there was another reason, but it seemed unnecessary to bring up. and she also just didnt want to share it with jake. or maybe, it wasnt the right reason after all.

"well hes cocky as hell and is still a better dancer, basketball player, volleyball player then i, not to mention ive been playing longer and layla likes him more then she likes me!"

"thats your fault youre never home, laylas just more used to him. and me. i am clearly her favorite between you and i."

"more like his fault hes practically living in my apartment cause hes never at his own home. and how can she be more used to him when ive known her since way before she met riki.."

"tough luck." jake pat y/n on the head on his way out before shutting the door.

__________________________________________

the sound of the doorbell awoke y/n from her, well, what was meant to be a quick nap (which later turned into a 4 hour sleep). just as she slowly got out of bed to answer it, she heard jake yell from down the hall, "ive got it! make sure you dont look stupid or anything in front of my friends!"

she rolled her eyes and climbed back into bed, thinking about her outfit. standard pajamas, plaid shorts and a black tee (which probably wasnt even hers). she thought about how the one person out of the 6 she didnt want to see would be out there. truth be told, even she herself didnt know the best explanation as to why she hated riki so much. y/n figured it was because of a little mishap back during freshmen year and she just couldnt bring herself to apologize for everything that had been said during that time, so she forced herself to continue hating him. 'yeah, seems about right.'

the sound of the door opening caught her attention and the next thing she knew, there was a boy in a cream essentials hoodie jumping onto her.

"oh shit, what the f-"

"hi y/nnn!" sunoo smiled, carefully getting off his best friend.

y/n was in joy once she realized who it was, and brought him into a tight hug.

"hey sunoo! god it feels like forever since i last saw you!"

it was really only a week.

"i know right! its been too long!"

she smiled, no matter what mood she was in, sunoo always was the sunshine in the rain.

"so, whos here?"

"oh, you know the usual. sunghoon, heeseung, jake, and jay hyung. niki and jungwon are supposed to be setting up something in the courtyard."

"setting up what?"

"a volleyball net. jake was on nikis ass all week and wanted him to 1v1 you while we all played basketball. jungwon just wanted to help however he could, hes been tired all week from his job and the dance program."

no fucking way.

"youre saying i have to be alone, with nishimura riki? hell no!"

"isnt it great?" "this is a disaster!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"how is that bad?" "how is this good?!"

sunoo signaled for y/n to continue first. "i just cant stand riki. jakes been on my ass to talk to him but i didnt think hed actually talk to him, or that hed even listen either."

"seriously? i always thought you had a thing for him. i mean, you look good together, you both share mainly the same interests, mainly the same circle, not to mention the undeniable love you have when your eyes meet-"

"okay thats enough! you know what, how bout we go outside, im hungry anyway."

sunoo shrugged and went along with y/n down the hall.

he was slightly surprised when he saw niki and jungwon sitting on the couch, having a sip of their drinks.

"back already? i thought you were setting up the nets."

"yeah, but it was easier then expected. and we didnt even need to go to the lobby for the stuff. it was all already in the courtyard." jungwon told the two with a smile, proud of their work.

"y/n." niki looked at her with that stupid grin she had always hated.

"nishimura."

"i didnt know youd be here." he observed, ignoring how she had addressed him by his last name instead of niki, or riki.

she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"i live here dipshit. you think id run away just cause i knew you were coming?"

niki got up from his seat and walked closer, and closer, until their faces were mere centimeters away.

"just like you ran from all our problems in freshmen year huh?"

"you realize it was all because of what you did, dont you?"

it took niki a minute to notice how close they were. he looked down at her lips before realizing what sunoo and jungwon were saying in the background. "are they about to kiss?"

"hell no!" y/n and niki both yelled out in unison, quickly pushing away from each other.

"whatever. i need to use the bathroom, i cant stand seeing your face." she remarked to niki.

as soon as y/n closed the bathroom door, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding in, slowly trying to register what had just happened. 'did i really almost kiss him.'

minutes after being stuck in the bathroom for so long, she left and walked into the main living space, only to notice everyone was gone.

well, almost everyone.

"are you serious."

y/n dryly stared at the boy sitting on her couch, in her spot, watching her favorite show.

"i forgot you were still here." niki yawned.

"where is everyone?"

"did you seriously not hear them say theyre gonna get food and that theyll be back in.. three hours or more?"

"three hours or more? it does not take that long to get food, youre fucking with me." y/n walked into hers and jakes individual bedrooms to see if anyone was hiding from her, to her dismay, niki wasnt lying.

"it does if youre getting food from busan."

"why the fuck are they going all the way to busan for food??"

"language! my young ears cant take this!"

"shut up nishimura youre only 11 days younger."

"more like 11 years at heart cause you act like a grumpy old lady all the time.."

"whatd you just call me?"

"nothing!"

"so why are they going all the way to busan for food again?" y/n reminded, getting niki back on track.

"cause they got a friend whos house is down there and hes in town for the weekend, they said theyll bring us home our own order."

y/n walked into the kitchen, rummaging for food.

"what are you doing now?"

"looking for food, im gonna die if i see your ugly ass face any longer."

"what are you on about 'ugly'? girls at school love this face."

"and apparently you loved those girls too much in return.."

niki got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen bar, sitting down. "are you still mad at me about that?"

she stopped what she was doing and looked at niki, not saying anything, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"so you are." 'so he isnt all that dumb'

"look, i didnt know she had bad intentions, and you were right, i shouldve listened to you. but you really have to stop avoiding me. how was i supposed to tell you i didnt realize what she was trying to do if you keep running away?"

"how do you not realize no matter how many times i warned you?"

"i thought you did it because you were jealous."

"i did it because i loved you!"

niki froze, thinking he was crazy, thinking maybe he hadnt heard right.

"you what?"

"past tense. loved, not love. and how could you think so badly of me? we were supposed to trust each other, always tell the truth, and you thought i told you she would end up using you was because you thought i was jealous? how could you?"

he sighed, thinking about what he had done, realizing how badly he had mistreated y/n in the past, realizing there was no reversing it. he walked into the kitchen where y/n was, backing her into the corner as the kitchen was just as small as the apartment itself.

"get away from me!" she yelled, throwing ramen packet after ramen packet at niki.

"no. i know i havent been the best to you-" "more like you know youve been the worst."

niki glared at y/n.

"-and i know theres no reversing it. i realize i cant undo the past, but what i can do, is fix our future. i want to show you i can be better to you then i was then. we can be what we used to be before, us. our spark."

"there is no us, or we, or, our. but maybe just you, caught up in your daydreams." y/n pushed niki out the way, and walked out the kitchen, not noticing she was slowly being followed.

"i loved you too you know. except for the fact that i still do."

"can you just please leave." she turned around, now facing him.

her vision blurred, head dizzy, face stained, all as her glass like tears trickled down her cheeks.

"hey, its okay. dont cry."

"get away from me!"

niki attempted to hug y/n as she fought against him, trying to run from his grasp, struggling to no avail. she eventually fell still in his hold, forgetting its natural warmth and comfort.

"im sorry for everything." was the last thing y/n heard before falling asleep, growing tired and stressed from everything that had just happened.

__________________________________________

it was late at night by the time everyone else had come back, 2am to be exact. traffic was unusually heavy though it was a saturday night, not to mention the designated driver and his understudy (heeseung and sunghoon. yikes, scary night) ended up being the most wasted while everyone else was still tipsy. poor jungwon, still tired from a 4 hour nap after being on 2 hours of sleep all day, had to drive everyone through the slow traffic.

jake, who was slightly sobering up, turned on the lights in the dark room and dimmed them as his head was still throbbing. he walked into the living room and saw y/n, fast asleep with her head on nikis shoulder with his arm around her as he finished the rest of avengers endgame.

jake knew his sister well enough to know she had been crying once he focused on her puffy red eyes. but, it was a sweet moment, y/n was passed out, niki was barely conscious, and everyone was painfully drunk or achey. he figured he would just yell at riki for whatever happened in the morning.

sunghoon and heeseung ran into the kitchen (as best they could without tipping over) for water, jungwon had knocked out as soon as he sat down in the chair next to y/n, jay was busy trying to figure out how to use jakes water filter, and sunoo was sitting at the kitchen bar eating a pudding cup.

jay called for jakes help, just as his eyes had fluttered shut. begrudgingly so, jake got up and helped the three boys it the kitchen. "you press the bottom button, not the top button. the top is for ice."

"thanks." "yeah whatever."

"i know youre tired hyung, but so are we. where are we all supposed to sleep?" sunoo quietly asked, putting his hand on jakes shoulder.

he thought, looking at the three sprawled out in the living room, and the three bubbling nonsense in the kitchen. "jay and sunghoon can stay with me, ill move niki and y/n to her room, you can stay in the living room with jungwon and heeseung hyung. but move jungwon to the couch since he drove everyone."

"thanks-" sunoo cut himself off as he heard the sound of jakes receding footsteps.

__________________________________________

morning came, and though it wasnt a good one, y/n wanted to remedy that. or, remedy the nasty hangover she knew everyone would be experiencing.

she had woken up with her eyes puffy and red, and even though she didnt want to get up she knew she would have to eventually.

"is that hangover soup i smell?" jake asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he walked out his room.

"well i know riki doesnt know how to cook and jungwons still asleep. so who else would be making it?" y/n flashed a tired smile, pouring a serving for jake.

"so, why were you crying last night? and dont say you werent or that you just didnt sleep well. ive lived with you long enough now to tell the difference between your 'i didnt get enough sleep' eyes, and your 'i was crying pretty hard' eyes." he interrogated as he took a big sip of the soup. so good he almost felt better already.

"what did he tell you? or were you watching me?"

"he didnt tell me anything, he was already asleep by the time we came back. i just saw the look on your face and knew."

"just reminiscing on some bad times is all."

jake raised a brow at his sister, taking another sip.

"you dont have to tell me now if you dont want to. but i do want to hear about everything. later. when my head isnt pounding like when i heard mom push you out in the emergency room. after i take a nap. and when youve bought jungwon some coffee."

"me? why do i have to buy him coffee? im not the one who drove him because the designated drivers were too wasted."

"we typically treat him to an iced americano since hes always up taking care of us when were drunk, but we havent gotten this wasted in a while. and he spent so long getting sunghoon out the house, not to mention the long drive to the point he ended up falling asleep as soon as we got back."

y/n thought about it before mumbling a, "tough luck" to jake, patting him on the back before walking into her bedroom.

she was met with the sight of niki making the bed as she walked in. "when did you wake up?" she quietly asked.

"not too long ago, you?"

"about an hour ago. i had to cook for them."

"ah. did you sleep well? i know sleeping upright on the couch mustve been a lot less comfortable then this."

"i guess. i dont remember waking up to walk here though. jake probably carried me."

"he was way wasted, snoring loudly way before i woke up. how else do you think you got here?"

it took a minute for it to click in y/ns mind when she realized it was niki who took her to the room and slept next to her. this whole time, she thought it was her brother who lent his own room to his friends.

"of course not, he just asked me to help or make sure you got to bed safely and that i could stay with you since there was nowhere else."

'that bastard.. ill kill him one of these days. im surprised i havent already.' she spoke to herself in her head.

"so. are we good now?" niki questioned, walking over to the other side of the room.

"how can you ask me such a thing after making me relive one of the worst memories of high school ive ever had?"

"it wasnt my intention. i was just trying to explain-" "theres nothing to explain when i had already given you multiple warnings. thats on you."

y/n threw a pillow at niki and walked away, back outside.

"what was that all about?" sunghoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had just made. 'where did he get silk pajamas from. are- are those mine?'

"what?"

"not to bother, but i mean, you were kind of yelling." heeseung explained to y/n.

she let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead in stress.

"i dont want to talk about it right now. i- actually. you know what? ill be back."

"where are you going?" sunoo asked y/n, following her to her room just as niki walked out.

"somewhere, not sure yet. dont follow me."

"i wont, i know how much you value your alone time but- oh youre changing. hold on ill turn around. but please be safe. when will you be back?"

sunoo turned back around and saw she had changed into beige cargos and a white crop top. realizing he was staring, he looked around the room, before a certain picture caught his eyes. he walked closer to get a better look. it was baby jake feeding yogurt to baby y/n. 'awe, they were always close werent they.' he hadnt even realized y/n was talking to him, and by the time he faced where y/n was standing, she had already left out the front door.

y/n🤨; srry, u were so immersed in that picture of jake and i as kids, but i rlly wanted to leave. i cant handle being around niki. see u l8r

sunoo😴 ; no worries, have fun, stay safe, and dont take any candy from strangers lol

__________________________________________

y/n drives to her favorite cafe she always used to visit with her brother, mama han's. she sits down at the bar and scrolls deep into her camera roll, coming across some mundane memories of her and riki back when they were close.

"what can i get you, hun?" the waitress, jiwoo, asked with a small grin. she didnt look to be any younger than 40 something now, compared to the last time she visited the spot. jiwoo was always the waitress here, even served the two frequently in their childhood when they visited from australia.

"just a vanilla shake is all. extra whip please."

"sweetie, arent you lactose? it must be pretty bad if you want extra dairy."

"yeah, it is. but, im not comfortable talking about it at the moment if thats alright."

"of course it is. just hope youre doing okay." jiwoo pat y/n on the shoulder, before reaching down to get the ingredients.

"hows your brother? havent seen either one of you in a while."

"hes well, a little hungover, but hes fine."

jiwoo laughed as she poured milk into the blender. "of course. what more to expect from your brother. well, how are you? i realized i didnt really ask."

"im alright. and, do you remember niki?"

"little niki from when you were kids? the one you used to like- oh dear, dont tell me hes the reason as to why youre so down?"

"long story, but yeah. its fine though, ill deal with it. but what about you, whats going on? did you ever pursue your dream as an actress?"

"no, and i regret not going for it. i didnt get to be in stairway to heaven, but shinhye and taehee did though. which is why you need to go for what you want, otherwise you really will regret it." jiwoo advised, adding the cherry on top of the extra whip prior to sliding the glass over to y/n.

"so i should forgive him?"

"if its what you want. though i dont know the backstory, i do know that as long as its something you want then its worth a shot. the worst he can say is no, you know?"

"yeah.. oh and jiwoo, can i get a chocolate shake to go?"

"no problem, just give me 4 minutes. and- oh dont worry about it, put your card away! its on the house."

___________________________________________

y/n heard her phone buzz in the center console as she pulled into an empty parking lot. she turned the engine off the car and pulled out her phone.

sim jaeyun ; Can you come home

Y/n Sim ; can u stop using caps

sim jaeyun ; I don't think it matters but okay

sim jaeyun ; can you stop disappearing whenever you're mad at someone

Y/n Sim ; can you change my name so its not in caps

sim jaeyun ; can you stop changing the topic and just drive back because niki wants to talk to you and i was getting worried

Y/n Sim ; can u change my name

'sim jaeyun' has changed your display name to 'y/n sim'

y/n sim ; i bought u a shake from jiwoos

sim jaeyun ; no you didn't she probably got it to you for free

y/n sim ; cz im her fav sim

sim jaeyun ; im going to tell all the guys about how you pissed yourself at disneyland on splash mountain

y/n sim ; driving home rn

sim jaeyun ; no texting while driving love u

y/n sim ; lyt

she let out a small laugh at her brothers texts. she quickly got out the car, taking some pictures of the sunset for her instagram, and posting it, before driving out as the milkshake was beginning to melt.

niki got the alert y/n had posted and pressed the notification at the top of his screen. he didnt miss how the caption referenced wave to earth as it was always their favorite band to listen to together.

@/05sim_y/nn ; how can my day be bad when im with u? - [9m ago]

liked by @/02sim_ikeuu, @/suniskim, and 99 others - 20 comments

@/rikimura has liked this post ! [now]

___________________________________________

after getting back home and taking a relaxing shower (thanks to everyone leaving 2 hours prior), y/n had continued to keep herself up at night for the past week before deciding it was time to talk to riki.

she pushed her feelings aside, waking up on a random wednesday morning at the crack of dawn then randomly told herself 'ive got to do this, for my brothers sake and our friend group.' (or so she unconvincingly tried to convince herself, but thats already another thing she didnt want to get into at the moment) y/n quickly threw on whatever clothes she could gather laying about the floor, then ran to grab her car keys and hurry out the door.

as soon as she swung the big piece of metal open, she was met with the familiar sight of nishimura riki knowing when hes done wrong, his guilty face, with his hand raised and ready to knock.

"what are you doing here at the ass crack of dawn?"

"what are you doing ready to run out your apartment like its the olympics as the ass crack of dawn?" he responded to her question with a question, with the intent of knowing how much she hated it.

"actually, i was about to leave to see you. i think its time we had a talk. you know, after my.. moment, that i had last week."

"yeah. i know. its not your fault i realize now, or, im telling you that but ive realized it since the moment i lost you. i think-"

niki was interrupted by jake shouting from across the flat, "if youre gonna finally have this talk i think you should go somewhere else! can you leave soon? 'cause my girlfriends gonna come over at like 12!"

"i seriously doubt any place is open for us to be going to at 5:41 in the morning." y/n yelled in response.

"you know well mama han's is open now, and jiwoo works day and night, just go there so i can be alone!" "for 7 hours?"

niki laughed in response as he registered what jake and y/n were arguing over.

"what girlfriend?-" "-talking stage, technically, but he says theyre dating because she accidentally kissed his cheek on their first date when reaching to grab something near him."

"i remember her lips on my skin like it was yesterday, meanwhile you have yet to kiss niki." jake scoffed in english, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue with his accent before walking closer towards where y/n was standing.

"gross. if anything her accidentally very barely brushing her lips against your stupid face is the only action youll ever be getting if you keep trying to get rid of your one and only favorite little sister." y/n muttered in response, slightly ignoring niki muttering about how he thinks y/ns accent sounds cute.

"really?"

-

and so y/n found herself driving to mama han's cafe with niki after jake called their eldest brother, complaining she should listen to him because shes younger and if she wouldnt listen to jake himself then maybe she would listen to her older-older brother.

"you should listen to your older siblings but jake, if you had someone coming over you shouldve told her in advance. and what are you even gonna do alone for 6 hours??"

after being seated and placing their orders, niki brought back the conversation from earlier that had sort of been killed by jake.

"i get it, youre mad at me, and i shouldve listened to you. i know i fucked up and i know you see it too. i get it if you dont want to forgive me yet, or if you ever even will. but when you decide we could be good, im always here for you."

"why would i be here if i hadnt been prepared to forgive you?"

"huh?"

"i seriously question how dense you are sometimes."

"thanks for believing in me."

"no problem, but seriously. i forgive you. as much as i hate to admit it since i know youll use it against me, but i kinda missed having you around. i mean, you were my first love among other things but you were also one of my first and closest friends. it wont always be the same but im sure if we try enough we can get pretty damn close."

"god have you always been so philosophical?"

the two burst into laughter together, smiling as they took a sip of their milkshakes, reminiscing on the times they had spent together in their earlier high school years. it was moments like these that they has missed the most.

by far the most fun together (said niki), by far the most fun theyve had in a while (said y/n) after having spent the morning together, discussing and going over whats happened in the past few hours before going to pay. "ive got it," niki said, pulling out his card. "its the least i can do."

"thank you for today. i know i was hard on you but i needed this."

"no worries, i think ive owed you for a long time now right?"

"i need to do something in here real quick. you mind waiting in the car?"

"wait are you gonna be okay? i dont wanna leave you here alone."

"im a regular here, i know the people. its fine."

"are you sure?"

"if you go ill let you have the aux."

thats all it took for niki to run straight for the car, rushing to open the door.

y/n laughed as she saw him waving from the passengers seat, before going to talk to jiwoo who was busy wiping down the counters. she took a seat at the bar and felt comfort as jiwoo flashed the same smile she always would throughout y/ns childhood.

"thats a hell of a boy youve got there. special one isnt he?"

"you could say that in the very least. hes definitely special to me though."

"thats the boy you were tellin my sister about? he aint from round here, that right?" an distinct, familiar, voice spoke from the back kitchen.

"auntie jiwon?" y/n questioned in shock.

jiwon is jiwoos sister, she also used to work at the cafe just as much as jiwoo did. had been a favoritre of the customers including the sims themselves before moving to the countryside, only popping up on occasion. jake would call jiwon auntie since she was older and it had also grown on y/n.

"thats my name isnt it?" she chuckled as y/n ran up to hug her.

"wow, i cant believe it. i havent seen you in like, 7 years!"

"been a long time right? well, im just down here for a short while before i gotta go back. just here for a weddin and thought to visit my sister at work."

"thats great auntie, too bad you arent here for longer."

"yeah, well. thats what happens when you get 3 divorces and run out of money, that right jiwoo? but, seriously, whats with that boy of yours? he dont seem to be from here."

"hes not, hes from japan, for the dance academy we all go to."

"that explains a bunch. i always knew youd be a dance. you have quite the physique for it, no?"

jiwoo interrupted jiwon from rambling on the way she always would, quickly seeing y/ns desire to leave as she has other things to tend to.

"alright well, im sure y/n has plenty of things to do as do we, so we all really should be going. its about time for the regulars to start coming in." jiwoo awkwardly laughed as she too seemingly forgot her sisters idiosyncratic personality.

"you dont want to spend time with your auntie jiwon is it? kids nowadays have no sort of respect for their elders. you could drive a preacher to drink!"

y/n awkwardly cleared her throat and put on a smile, frozen in a sort of way as auntie jiwon hadnt seemed to be the same as she was 8 years ago.

"oh im only joking now! go on then, ill just see you in another 8 years." she sighed, overexaggerating the moment.

"its not like youre her real aunt anyway." jiwoo muttered, yet jiwon heard it.

"like your supposed to be? what are you to her anyway?"

"someone whos around of course! i practically raised her and babysitted her on top of running a restaurant with my own children whenever her parents would be in office from dusk till dawn with her brother busy at school with his own life."

"i was there too you know! she would tell me things she never told you."

"she only told you things because you made her! she was scared of you!" jiwoo rolled her eyes at jiwon before quickly gesturing for y/n to go.

"what are you doing- where is she going?" "somewhere where youre not."

-

as y/n go back into the car, she slightly scared niki in the middle of a game.

"what happened in there? looked kinda tense. never seen the other lady before."

"jiwoos sister. shes kinda crazy and possessive and scary. didnt even know she came back."

"maybe we should go.. shes kinda walking towards the car so i suggest to step on the gas."

"shit- shes what??"

------------------------------------------------------

within the next few months, niki and y/n drew closer to one another like they were before.

it was only a matter of time before their unresolved feelings for one another began to surface, yet they continued to push it down with all their might, not wanting to ruin anything like before.

so here y/n was, watching some random kdrama out of boredom, completely uninterested before she received a text from niki.

nishimura ; help

sim ; with what

nishimura ; baysitinf

sim ; the fuck

nishimura ; hold - my brother just took my phone

sim ; babysitting?

nishimura ; yes pls

nishimura ; jake literally js dropped off ur sister here while my brother was having a hyper thingy

nishimura ; hes just very hyper

nishimura ; send a swat team.

sim ; i dont rlly wanna watch sarang tho😐

nishimura ; BUT ITS UR SISTER??

sim ; yea but she’s a headache i have to deal with that like every weekend

sim ; i gave her to jake so i can have a free day just for her to bounce back to me😒 sim ; i hate guys named jake

nishimura ; thats what u get for abandoning a 5 year old

sim ; then im not helping

nishimura ; that lego set i bought you arrived today

sim ; see u in 20

and so here y/n found herself driving towards nikis apartment, reminding herself to lecture her brother once they both get home.

“good thing you came otherwise i mightve actually killed myself.”

“this better be good, i dropped crash landing on you for this.”

with that, niki stepped aside to point at the kids behind him without breaking eye contact with y/n, not wanting to look inside only to furrow his brows as she tilted her head in confusion.

“is this a joke?” she scoffed.

“what are you talking about?” his jaw dropped once he saw sarang and hiro getting along together just fine, completing some puzzle together. “i swear they werent getting along and hiro was just bouncing off the walls, plus sarang was like having a meltdown about ice cream!”

y/n slightly grinned then spoke, “you look fine. they look more then fine. you don’t need my help. did you just want an excuse to see me?”

“no! i- i mean i kinda wanted to see you but that’s not why- i, ughh!”

y/n held back a small laugh at nikis frustration before she heard the two kids watching them giggle adoringly at their older siblings.

“riki has a girlfriend!” “y/n has a boyfriend!” hiro and sarang exclaimed in excitement.

“im going home.”

“absolutely not.” y/n groaned in annoyance while niki pulled her into the house by grabbing onto her shoulder.

“so.” he awkwardly started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the palm of his hand.

“so??”

“about yesterday.”

“what about it.”

“we’re good right?”

“of course we are.” she reassured.

just as niki was able to reply, sarang began to cry loudly, like she saw a monster in her closet or something.

“what happened?”

“i cut myself!” she cried, showing the skin between her fingers. her and hiro had been doing small arts and crafts for the past hour, so she has hurt herself with the scissors.

“just put a bandaid on and ice it.” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head while not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“you’re so mean y/n unnie!” sarang pouted before holding her ‘injured’ hand up to nikis face.

“what is this, the school nurse? you gotta be a more helpful sister then that.”

“i am helpful. i asked her what happened then gave her a solution.”

“but you were so mean to her.”

“im teaching her to be tough! our parents were hard on me and my brothers, so we have to be hard on her.”

“but you aren’t your parents. you’re y/n.”

“but what if i don’t want to be just y/n?”

“well, then that’s not something you can control. you’re you whether you like it or not. you gotta learn to accept life as it is. that’s what really being hard on yourself is, and that’s what it does to you.”

niki goes over to sarang to pick her up and carry her over to the kitchen. he sets her on the counter and grabs a pastel flower print bandaid before placing a small kiss onto where he placed the bandaid.

he coos at her lovingly, with him who’d always seen her as his own sister having had watching her grow up since she was born despite her not really remembering much of him.

y/n felt her heart melt as she saw how good he was with her baby sister.

she got up from her seat to go over where they were, wrapping her arms around nikis waist to envelop him with into a warm back hug, pressing her head into the space between his shoulder and neck, letting it rest there.

“mean unnie.” sarang stuck out her tongue at y/n, pushing her face away from niki as she stuck out her tongue back.

“what are you, 5?”

“no but she is.”

niki sighed before pulling away (he really didnt want to but you didnt need to know that) grabbing his car keys, and picking up his brother.

“let’s go for some ice cream.”

so here you were, sitting at the local ice cream parlor together.

niki’s face turned as he watched you absolutely devour those three scoops (scoups) of mint chip.

“i seriously dont see how you could eat that. it tastes like toothpaste.”

“why are you talking when you’re eating plain vanilla.”

“hey, sometimes basic is better!”

“well you don’t have to like mint then. ‘cause me and this kid do!” she jokingly replied, hugging said kid (hiro) while niki and sarang rolled their eyes with their vanilla cones.

“hate to be a bother, but you guys are such a cute little family. youre just like me with my kids when they were still young. and, little girl, you really have your fathers eyes.” an elder women from a table across the parlor smiled, patting y/n and niki on the shoulder as she ignored her husbands remarks “stop disturbing the little couple!”

“do we really look like a family?”

“sort of, if you really think about it.”

“okay but she had to be lying because your eyes look nothing like sarangs.”

“i mean.. if you look closely enough.”

“you aren’t even korean!”

they laughed together, for the first time in a while.

“okay, but on a serious note. what are we? are we friends, lovers, or whatever’s in between?”

“i mean.. I guess for now, in between.”

“please date y/n unnie! shes sooo lonely and boring.” sarang interrupted, tugging on nikis sleeve.

“yeah! and i want more playdates with sarang!” hiro pouted, looking up with puppy eyes at y/n.

niki laughed at the kids’ reactions, before taking y/ns hand into his.

“well, no matter what you decide, let’s see where this takes us. they seem to be up for it anyway.”

“you’re right. alright, fine. but if you fuck this up again, you realize you’re not getting another chance, right?”

“i promise i won’t hurt you again. it already cost me everything last time.”

“glad you’re aware.” she bitterly mumbled.

“so. you will date me then?”

“ill think about it.”

[del-stars]

Now I’m curious. Which current nepo-baby would match with the marauders?

i believe this ask is inspired by this post from @s3raphinaa !!

based purely on vibes and things that celebrity said one time:

stretching the definition of current to say that sirius black is y2k paris hilton/kim k. just famous for no particular reason and proud of it. people ask him why he's famous and he'll say something along the lines of i'm pretty, everyone wants to be me, etc. etc. he definitely also leaked his own sex tape

james gives me lily-rose depp vibes very specifically for that quote where she's like 'i actually work really hard so calling me a nepo baby is really unfair.' just positively tone-deaf. he definitely does something with his nepotism like acting or music, but he's just far too out of touch to realise that it's because his parents are globally famous

for no particular reason i am saying remus is maya hawke. does pretty decent for himself, definitely booked and busy. like he's trying to make his own money so he is clocked in, but definitely recognises/acknowledges that a lot of his opportunities are due to nepotism

peter is clairo. for the reaction that i'm sure some people just had: what, she's a nepo baby? peter is a grand-slam indie bedroom pop artist, captures the feeling of being the isolated, awkward kid in a way that the internet just devours, but yes, his dad owns top golf

marlene is zoe kravitz. daughter of two really fucking cool parents who ended up also being really fucking cool in her own right. definite trendsetter, fashion icon, and stunningly gorgeous but that's just my opinion

lily and her sister are elle and dakota fanning, that sort of sibling nepotism. petunia gets famous as a child actor, when lily is much younger, and then lily grows up and eventually becomes more beloved than her. you see the parallels here

regulus. regulus is bella hadid. definitely got where he is because of his head start in life, but also really good at what he does, and also we are all so sorry about your mom. the constant comparisons to his sibling, their distance in the public eye, and the superseding parental fame by just staying booked and being iconic.

pandora and evan are willow and jaden. i dont know if i need to explain this at length, they just are. crazily famous parents, but they strike out on their own and do a little bit of everything

barty is hailey bieber very specifically when she wore that 'nepo baby' t-shirt, but it goes over much better when he does it. just does not give a fuck. yes, he's a nepo baby, he only sort-of works, but he's definitely got his own very intense fanbase

[the-night-moves-writing]

Her Rescuers

The Winchesters X sibling reader

Summary: When the whole world finds out about another Winchester the relationship you have with your brothers might take a hit, but can you all pull through to keep your bond strong or will your own self loathing be the death of what you hold dearest

Warnings: Angsty, A bit of self doubting, self loathing, Mentions of J*hn Winchester (this man is absolutely a warning)

Characters: Sam Winchester x Sibling reader, Dean Winchester x sibling reader, mentions of Castiel

Word count: 1395

A/N: Hi guys! Its been a hot minute since i posted anything on here! I was inspired to write more lately though so i thought i might as well share it with you! Also i tried to be as gender neutral as possible but if i did mess up let me know and i can fix that! Thanks!

I've been stuck in this castle, up in a tower. Been waiting forever on a rescuer to save me. The castle was never literal, it was always a metaphor for the life I am trapped in. Searching for an escape from life is pointless and useless, being a hunter will always follow me. My brothers have always tried to protect me but with the monsters and the demons and the angels everywhere it was only a matter of time before things went wrong before they found out about me. I was always kept in the dark, Sam and Dean claimed it was safer that way. 

The youngest Winchester would always be Sam to the outside world, but we all knew it was me. Though I knew my brothers couldn't see me as one of them, they hunted and I didn’t, they protected the world and I couldn't, they were John and Mary’s kids and I wasn't. All I was is a product of my fathers grief after the loss of his wife. I knew just as well as anyone that I was undeserving to carry the Winchester name. That was until I was needed. Once the angels knew of my existence it was only a matter of time till everyone else did too. Word spread to demons

and monsters alike, the existence of another Winchester was a big deal, it was a weakness to exploit, and so I was forced into this life.

 Dean and Sam were unhappy with the development but there was nothing they could do but train me to protect myself and get me prepared for whatever came our way, the tattoo and the rib branding by Cas sucked but with my brothers insisting they were necessary how could I refuse. Now here I am trapped in my metaphorical tower waiting for a prince that will never come. In reality stuck in a fucking bunker awaiting my freedom which I will never have again. I know that this is for the better but why do I feel this sadness, I mean I got what I wanted didn’t I? To be a part of what my brothers were a part of, but this sadness still follows me around like a lost dog. One thing I've found is that there are no coping mechanisms, at least no healthy ones. Just so much pain and alcohol, sometimes drug use too. 

The self destructiveness of it all is killing me. I remember how my brothers were before all of this happened, they sent me to school and brought me back trinkets from the towns they visited. They were happy to see me and I was happy to see them too. We would play boring games and watch movies. Now everything has changed. I no longer go to school and they no longer bring me trinkets. Sometimes we hunt together but it's mostly quiet and usually Dean is yelling that I've screwed up, like I dont know I'm not good enough. I want things to go back to how they were, and I know that this is mostly my brothers blaming themselves, they were supposed to protect me, they were older. Dean always said if one of us could get out it would be me. That when I got to live in a nice house, with a husband and kids that he’d visit, be uncle Dean, and bring Sam along to be uncle Sammy.

 Now all of those dreams he had for me have disappeared, and he and Sam are kicking themselves for not protecting me better. I hear a knock at my bedroom door that breaks my thoughts 

“Y/N we need to talk sweetheart” Dean's voice comes through my door steady but nervous

“Sure” I call back to answer “I’ll meet you in the library”

I get up from my desk to head to the library, anxiety nips at my heels as i walk down the corridor into the room, and i look to see Dean and Sam sitting at the mahogany table staring at the spot where their names had been carved

“You guys needed something?” i say my voice still shaky from the nerves swarming my body like bees 

Sam looks up at me first, then turns to Dean allowing him to answer me

“Yes, sit down baby” Dean says without meeting my gaze 

I knew this would be bad, the boys hadn’t called me baby in years after I had claimed I was “too old” and “grew out of it”. Hearing that old nickname gave me chills as I pulled out a chair and waited with anticipation as to what was going to happen next.

“I…. um We wanted to say that we are sorry.” Dean stumbled through his words, something that was very out of character for him to do 

“What are you guys sorry for?” I said staring at Sam who still was yet to meet my eyes then turning to Dean who, as it seemed was now also refusing to look at me.

“I… uh… well we know that things have been strained and different as of late.” Sam finally spoke still not looking up from what must have been a very interesting spot on the table

“You mean since heaven and hell and everything in between found out I exist.” i stated plainly as the boys seemed to stare harder away from me at my tone and words

“We weren't trying to make you feel bad but in our own self pity, of not being able to protect you we made you upset. We miss you sweetheart, we miss your smiles and the way you laugh, we miss how you used to run and meet us at the door after a hunt. We… were just sorry things have to be this way now.” Dean seemed to have to force the words from his lips to spill into the air, hanging above all three of us like a dangerous sword that could fall at any second. 

“I miss you guys too.” i stated “ i miss the way Sam used to braid my hair and the way Dean made sure i ate,i miss the games we played in the car when you would drive me to school or the trinkets you would bring me back from hunts. But I really just miss my older brothers.”  I said my voice softened to a whisper at the end as tears welled up in my eyes. I felt them finally move to look at me but this time it was I who could not bring myself to look up at them. While staring at my hands in my lap I heard the sound from the other side of the table, the movement of a chair. When I looked up Sam and Dean had made their way around the table to where I was seated. 

“We are so sorry baby, we didn't mean for any of this to happen.” Sam stated

“All we wanted was to protect you and give you the life we couldn’t have” Dean said finishing Sams thought

Dean who had moved to squat by my feet stared up at me, looking at me I saw the gears turn in his head

“ I have a surprise for you though, we just got back from hunting a vampire pack out in washington.” he said, shoving a hand in his right side jacket pocket “ I got you something you might like”.  He pulled out a little key chain and grabbed my hand to place it in my palm. Staring at the little keychain in my hand I felt tears begin to run down my face and chin. Sam moved to hug me as Dean went to wipe the tears from my skin. 

I knew at this moment that I was not a weakness to the boys nor a Winchester but Sam and Deans little sister. That this was what I was missing so desperately, that this is what I had wanted. 

I was never stuck in a tower nor being denied my freedom, I was merely a princess who had exiled herself to her room with her princely big brothers guarding her, ensuring her safety and even pulling her out when she needed it the most. Even fighting off the loneliness and sadness that may try to cause her harm. Her Rescuers.

[cconfusedkat]

another Shamura infodump just cuz ,,, yeahg ! :-]c

Since i always wanted to do this with one character i wanted to make a bunch of hcs with Shamura and regarding the effects of aging ,,,

To start , i want to explain like. The really terrible effects of stress and not being able to cope properly. My family history is often very vulernable to dying at younger rates because the inability to cope with stress which leads to heart conditions and/or strokes

My aunt died earlier than expected years ago, because she held so much stress in for 17 years she died at 30

Another one of my family members, my grandma, she used to be 6'1 ,, but due to her stressing shes lost that height and is now 5'3 , i dont rlly know how to explain how its possible but it definitely does happen (i used to be 5'7 , now im 5'3 due to stressing frequently)

Regarding Shamura and their stress of being alive so long / immortality as well as lacking the proper functions in their head to cope (since they now lack the cognitive functions in their brain to properly express their emotions or keeping things to themself etcetc) i sorta portrayed that based on someone i know ,, she too has brain damage as well as i do and its different for everyone ive come to notice ? But we're very similiar in the way of lacking words frequently and being unable to use our emotions in a proper way ? Im overly energetic at times and im not sure how to Not be that way

Nooow regarding my hcs with shamura,,, theyre the smallest eldritch form in game ,compared to their siblings, so i think its out of both loss of strength and. The amount of stress on their back

Truthfully thats the reason why i make them so short ,, as a child they used to be much taller (6'0 by far) as well as being thinner ,,, But when you age its often very common you put on weight

Basically theyre already the oldest of their family ,,,, So theyll have more different experiences unlike their siblings ,,,

And also lastly i wanted to project onto them a bit more regarding my identity :-] they also have PCOS (intersex condition) and by now theyll experience other things as they age ,,, The sad part is that they never had anyone to go to to ask whats normal and what isnt normal for them as they age ,,, Especially since they also happen to be the last one alive of their biological family left too 😭 they cant go to anyone ,,, But i mean they frequently get along with the elders of the cult so theyre happy to at least have an age range to interact with sometimes better ?

Okay yapfest over ,its just my excuse to project my shortness and mental illness onto them is what im getting at /silly

[loafbud]

loaf, you just instantly eased my nerves as a 20 year old that feels like he's living too slowly (or rather, being pressured into living quickly)

i have so much more time and its all so much less pressing than I make it out to be, just reading what you've said

thank you 💚

Aaa I’m happy to hear that!! 😭

After graduating highschool at 18, I was not interested in college, so I just spent all of my early 20s floating around at home with my parents (I have older siblings that still live with us, with one being 30). I wasn’t even interested in temporarily getting any 9-to-5 job either– I’d always say “if it has nothing to do with what I love, I dont want it!”

I mostly spent my early 20s as a sedentary shut-in, online 24/7, aimlessly drawing, making music, daydreaming, brainstorming on passion projects… Even many years before lockdown happened, I was always inside (except for the times years back when i left the house to tag along on the few store trips & would join family visits/family vacations).

My head would sometimes do this annoying thing where I’d go “What am I doing wrong? What could I have done differently earlier in life that’d put me in a better living position (financial stability, etc)?”

Even now, I catch myself saying the same shit in my head about “progressing life at a slower pace than ‘what’s expected’ of me”. A part of me is almost thankful in a way that I still havent started a job and stuff yet, because I also spent my early 20s figuring MYSELF out— learning about my triggers, me & my family becoming more aware of my mental health (even if those nights were ugly), inprovement in my mindset/the way I approach problems compared to many years ago, etc… Like I couldnt IMAGINE being 23 and having an unchecked meltdown during a job with the way my mind was at the time!!

But yeah… I know I’ve seen a few people online my age or in their early 20s who say they’d still live with their parents, never had a job, never had a steady source of income, never went to college, never dated/married, never owned a car/learned how to drive, and would beat themselves up over it. I think we’re all still figuring ourselves out: no one is less than just because they never had this or that experience yet! There’s nothing worse than comparing our progress to others and using that as a way to defeat ourselves…

[thal-ent]

Zuza and Abramelin belong to @soupedepates , Anya, Sigi, Klara and Jakub to @corneille-but-not-the-author , Hanko and Nikolaj/Kolya to @noa-de-cajou and Irena to my sibling

Her lips are soft. So so so soft, against mines, and I have to thank our surprise audience for stopping me from thinking about it too much. I send a look to Jakub, a look we both know isn't real annoyance. But my traitorous mind keeps coming back to the lips of my friend, the girl that I call my friend, the woman I love to see being happy with her husband.

Her husband is just as red as her, and I find it just as cute on him as it is on her. But Hanko is not Anya, and I do not like him like I like her. They're my friends, they're my family, they're people I want to keep with me. And I never though I would like to kiss Anya.

Not just Anya, another girl all together.

I'm no idiot, I helped my own sister get with her wife but, for me ? To like girls as well ? I only thought about Jakub, my husband, to ever consider it.

Jan too, my mind unhelpfully reminds me as I slowly braid my hair for bed. Hanko as well, when our minds are linked and we know everything about each other.

**

I stay against my friend, looking at her son walking in front of us. We're slower than him, as she supports my back and my belly is rounder than it has ever been. I dont hate it, but I'm scared. Jakub and I agreed on names, for our child, I'm sure it's a girl, Zuza is pregnant too and she tells me I'm doing fine. But I'm scared, and I think Anya knows it, stays with me to reassure me.

I dont think about her lips, anymore, the feeling became normal after the thousand's one on stage, for a scene or another. I envy Hanko sometimes, to be the one to get her real kisses, but I envy her as well for getting Hanko's kisses. I think I love him, but it's not important to know what love I have for him, I think.

Anya talks joyfully, lets me think when I want to be silent. She's a ray of sunshine, I could see that when I first met her in the Fort that became the World Tree's roots. I think I like her, in a different way. I don't want to think about what kind of like I have for her, I just want to enjoy the feeling of her comforting me when I cry and wonder if I'll be a better mother than I am a sister.

**

Talmarys is running around, training her little sister along with her on the farm their aunts' own. Irena is talking to me about how she doesn't understand how I could have wanted two brats. I know she loves the girls, loves to hold her nieces in her arms too. Klara isn't home, gone hunting with Sigi. So the rest of us are looking after the kids, trying to stop the oldests from taking their youngest sister into their idiotic shenanigans.

Iekaterina is barely three, with her small legs and long hair. Unlike Kolya she dislikes having it braided, but that means the young changelin is being very quiet on my knees. Anya is running behind Abramelin, Zuza is too old for this now or so she says. Irena leaves my side and grabs with ease Talmarys, the little girl kicking in the strong arms of my sister. I laughs, and before I can get my other daughter, she runs into the arms of Hanko, who probably came out of the house to ask something to Irena.

He lets her get in his arms, talks softly to her. I've known I love him. I've kissed him, more than once, because we both wanted to, we also did more together. I think he likes Jakub like how I like Anya, and he knows about it too. He walks toward us, and smiles softly while talking to our daughter.

Our daughter ?

I secure Nikolaj's braid as I realize what I though. It's true that, in a way, all of the kids of the troupe are ours, to all of us.

But I think I want a kid with Hanko.

[the-desert-beast]

OC Inspiration meme!!

@lady-quen ty for the tagg >:3c No pressure tags for @lynxfrost13 @uneclipsing @charico @beanswithbones and @manasurge

I dont have enough inspirations per character to fill out the meme so I'm doing this text style instead! My primary inspirations for this entire crew came from Genshin Impact, a sort of accidental challenge to take inspiration from my other fixation at the time for all the characters that'd go on my EU alt. Esyld's is Ningguang/Beidou I can't remember who I settled on having the stronger vibes in Esyld's design, but I know Ningguang was first, for her hidden in plain sight information-empire. Her love of money and her cunning. The refined "don't fuck with me" first impression. Although Esyld is far more genderfuckey and rough around the edges in design than Ningguang is.

Iniss' is Wriothesley for his visual design. They have a very similar look and style. Personality wise, I think Iniss still matches him but it's reserved for known people and close relationships, not strangers. They're very no-nonsense very focused. I've also taken Wriothesley's health trade abilities for Iniss, connecting it to a "can't die" thing they have, and chronic health problems. I'll elaborate sometime in an Iniss-specific post!

Arlais' is Arlecchino now. She's also VERY Mei Mei from JJK for her dedication to money and nothing else. Arlecchino for the visual design and general mannerisms and decorum. Arlais is a ranger whose pets are the uncared for street animals of lion's arch that passed away, now having a new second and better chance at "life" by Arlais' side. They're a lesbian with disdain for just about anyone and everyone except animals and those deemed, "worth my time."

Miyake Yuuji's is Kamisato Ayato for his personality, visuals, and demeanor. theyre almost the same guy. Yuuji is way more "Off-Putting Autistic" though. He's Kirari's sister, the one who got her adopted into his family too. Yuuji is the "documents" manager of their little syndicate. He causes trouble amongst the found family with Kirari.

Miyake KIrari's is Yae Miko and kitsune folklore it's self! Being a chaotic neutral mists demon herself, she hid as a shrine guardian in cantha for god knows how long before getting bored and hitching a ride to Lion's Arch for something new. She was acting very "strangely" and inhuman amongst the people, Yuuji met her and thought "Hey! She's a lot like me!" finding out she needed somewhere to stay, getting along so well, being a similar age* he asked his family to take her in. They reluctantly obliged, surprised to find that Kirari doesn't cause any trouble at all in the family's estate. They're just about the only ones she fully respects, she doesnt even disrepect Yuuji all that much despite being siblings. Her inspiration are Tricksters, Kitsune, and "Be Careful What You Wish For." Yae Miko is her inspiration for visual design mostly. Her abilities are similar though.

All of them share combat styles with their genshin counterparts/inspirations. Esyld is a Revenant who veers the farthest from Ningguang's combat style, with her being a catalyst type. Though as I type this maybe playing Ningguang in the future will change that ovo Iniss is literally Wrio they have the exact same close combat hand-to-hand style including the catalyst "imbued magic" from Genshin. Ingame Iniss is a thief, in lore i may allow them some cold death type magic in relation to that curse they have. Arlais is a ranger as previously stated but she absolutely fights like arlecchino and that sexy scythe. Yuuji is an elementalist he's 1-to-1 with Ayato Kirari is very hit-and-run mesmer she's a bit like Yae Miko but slightly to the left despite the similarities. rari is also not above going feral kitsune-demon-form mode. <3

TEMPLATE FOR THE ONES I TAAAGGED