#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Some mild existential dread in the house today

[r1pp4r]

hi lovelies!! work has been busy <333 i’m working on requests but in the mean time have some simon “ghost” riley headcannons :))

- i also bought a ps4 and have been playing cod so… more content hehe 🫶🫶

anyway!! here’s the headcannons :)) slight NSFW warning!!!

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- 🫣

• simon isn't a physical touch man unless youre in private but it takes a little bit. he won't be all over you when the two of you are out in public, especially on mission. but he'll do discreet little touches here and there (i.e put his hand on your upper arm, brush your shoulder, your knee, thigh) he'll even grab your pinky (he LOVES finger holding you cant change my mind)

• while simon would be absolutely infatuated with you, he'd also be terrified of you. he loves the thought of having you wrapped in his arms at night but the thought of him crushing or possibly hurting you shuts the idea out almost completely.

• this one is sad but he's hurt you before sleeping. he was definitely having a night terror, he's pushed you out of bed sometimes or woken up screaming. you didn't get to see that until farther along in the relationship though, he probably wouldn't physically sleep with you for maybe the first 6months to a year. it depends on ur dynamic :))

• as much as i know everyone thinks he'd be some mean, aggressive brute in bed... bro. he'd literally be so sweet. he'd take his time and make sure you felt loved. he likes to use his hands and mouth more than his yk, it just makes him feel like he's violating you less? idk how to explain it but he doesn't like receiving TOO much, like he won't ask for it every time but if you ever wanna really get him goin.. 🫣🫣🫣

• simon loves to take care of you, and the thing is you'll argue over it. (at least imc) but he'd definitely try and be the main caretaker of everything and i mean EVERYTHINGGGG, but he also likes ur independence :)) so u have your own job n your own money, he just likes to take care of the big things you pay for groceries n shit (when he's not looking)

• this man LOOOOOVES ur thighs. he loves just feeling his head squished in between the warmth. he loved feeling the skin squish between his fingers as he grabs your legs... esp when it jiggles after he spanks u. ANYWAYYYYYYYYY

• he loves cuddling whenever youre the little spoon in any shape or form. simon is ALWAYS holding you. his arms are wrapped around your form like a cocoon and he makes sure you're all cozied up against him. he also likes to make sure you're protected and one of the only ways he can do that is with his arms around you. he feels the safest with his arms wrapped around you, as do you.

• playing off that.. this man will literally murk a motherfucker if they LOOK at you wrong. (obviously not he'd just stare.. at them. very intensely) but if anyone ever put their hands on you in any sense of malice... i don't think for a second simon would hesitate.

• also... playing off sense. simon 100% knows when someone's bullshitting, or he can call anyone out within a minute. he's VERY good at reading people and truly can figure out their intentions quickly (obvs they can change or he can be wrong but like.. he's not 85% of the time.)

• once simon is comfortable enough with you, he'll come to you whenever he's having a moment and will allow you to basically cradle him until he doesn't need it anymore. he doesn't like to be squeezed tho (besides during ... but we knew that 😸) he just wants you to hold him and run ur fingers through his hair

• he talks a LITTLE bit more with you and his tone is a lot different and his voice is softer but he still doesn't talk a LOT. you do most of the talking but he prefers it that way because he loves listening to your voice. (he 100% calls you on missions whenever he can rather than text, he HATES texting)

• simon has cried to soap and roach about how he wants to love you but feels like he can’t. 100%.

• he only likes to be called simon when they’re at home, or in the bedroom. sometimes you’ve slipped up and he doesn’t mind :)

•bonus simon loves ur hands :~)

[lycankeyy]

Okay here's the whole thing I filled out with boyf in-character enjoy his one total braincell if he's lucky. I'm putting zero effort into formatting this bc tumblr is glitchy on my phone blank template is here

(cw: sexual humor. also a bunch of intentional typos and gratuitous swearing)

-

1. Okay, first question: what’s your name, age, and gender?

- they call me boyfriend im 19 and i sap the gender out of the music

2. How would you describe yourself, personality-wise?

- fuckkk man idk. im p chill i think ig im pretty cool. pretty swag pretty gamer

3. What’s a typical day like for you?

- welll I wake up at like. 11 usually at earliest and I hang out w one of my partners sometimes I watch movies w em or work on music. not a lot going on usually

4. How do you wind down at the end of the day? Do you even wind down?

- most of the time i literally just wait until i crash out sometimes gf and peeks gotta drag me to bed lol

5. What is your earliest memory?

- UHHHHH oh god uhhh. I think. When I was like five we went to a festival or smth and we went on one of those twirly things and I made my dad spin the thing so hard I threw up LMAO

6. What is/was your relationship with your parents?

- i mean p good i think but we dont rly tlak anymore thats mostly my fault tho

7. What do you do when you’re bored?

- succumb to the madness mostly

8. Do you regret anything you’ve done?

- i mean not like currently

9. Do you dress to be functional or fashionable?

- bro i wear the same exact fucking outfit every day to be honest with you lol. It's not like I'm fuckin going anywhere

10. Who are your best friends? How did you meet them?

- DUUUDE assuming my partners don't count gotta shout out my man darnell we've been workin on a collab ep recently it goes hard as fuckkkkk. we met back in the stupid therapy program back in middle school he introduced me to pico n nene

11. Have any siblings? If so, what is your relationship?

- yea got a big sister and a lil bro. they're both sweet but kinda clueless tbh. technically got other stuff goin on too but im kinda worried that ill get like the government on my ass if i talk abt it

12. What is your job? Is it tiring or difficult?

- closest thinf ive got to a job is music ig and nah. really wouldn't rather be doing anything else even if it payed more tbh. when I get burnt out I wanna die but thafs not a big deal lmao

13. When you’re going through a rough time, do you seek help or consolation from others?

- on a scale of liek paper cut to nearly died how rough are we talking

14. How easy is it for others to gain your trust?

- ive been told im pretty trusting but i feel like any person whos meant to hurt me was pretty upfront abt it so ┐(´∀｀)┌

15. What is your sexuality, if you don’t mind me asking?

- all the time all the time

16. Do you have a significant other? What are they like?

- "a" singular. lol. lmao even. bros asking if I got one singular partner lmao try two bitch and thyere the best most important people in the world

17. Have you ever lost a loved one?

- not like perminently

18. How often do you act on impulse? Does it ever backfire?

- lsiten if i do it all the time then like statisicly it only backfires like 40% of the time okay

19. Do you believe in ghosts?

- I believe in everyone bro

20. How about aliens?

- aliens are hisyorically very mean to me but ig i can just then believe that they can be better people. or aliens

21. What traits do you value the most in others?

- uhhh probably like being just nice ig? idk i think it can take a lot more effort than people think to be considerate and stuff I appreciate when people are nice even if they have a reason not to be

22. Do you dream often? What are your dreams like?

- i used to not to but somethings happened and now I get them all the time. don't really want to talk about it they're mostly just weird

23. Are you a light or heavy sleeper? Do you sleep in?

- my partners say im such a heavy sleeper that one time i slept through gf falling off the bed in the middle of the night but I was asleep so I can't cofnirm

24. Okay, this is a bit personal, but… Have you ever (uh) “done the do”?

- dude like u wouldn't believe

25. Do you have any pets?

- nah but I think it would be cool to have a guinea pig they seem chill and I appreciate their vibes

26. Ever been drunk before? How often do you drink?

- i try not to toooooooo much but i think i have a hard time telling when too much is too much. dont tell my parents

27. Are you respectful to authority figures?

- they only have as much authority as you give them. manipulate a landlord today

28. What kinds of movies do you like you watch?

- https://youtu.be/HgjyQ0_coJo?si=L5Bzhey5cxaoNpWU

29. Do you have any guilty pleasures?

- ██████ █████ █ ███████ ████ ███ ████ ███████ ███ ████ ████████████ ██ ███ ███ ████ ██ one time nene found it in my dresser and I almost DIED wait was this question not about sex stuff

30. What would you say is the happiest memory of your life?

- ohh thats hard uhh. happiest is hard to qualify i think. I think I'm happiest whenever I think abt waking up next to my partners

31. How about your worst memory?

- thats a good question

32. What did you aspire to be when you were young? Did that dream change as you grew up?

- i didn't think I'd be fuckign anythang

33. How far would you be willing to go to get what you want?

- u gotta quantify what I want here tbh. is it like a chocolate bar or one billion dollars. cuz id kill someone for a billion dollars. honestly i might also kill someone for a chocolate bar but like not as badly

34. What is sure to ruin your day?

- idk nearly dying again probably

35. Do you have any nervous habits?

- uhhh sometimes i mess with my hair and when i get rly upset i pull at it til it hurts. i used to scratch my face a lot when i was upset too but it freaks ppl out so i try not to if i can help it

36. Play video games often?

- i tryyyyy but i get distracted so fast i play a game and im like oh shit this reminds me of another thing i was gonna play n then i go play that and then I never FINISH ANYTHIGN

37. What kind of things do you laugh at?

- https://youtu.be/47EOSLWu-EI?si=kuzPv2Vndl91Oj3C

38. Favorite genre of music?

- BROOOO ok gonna be basic as shit and say breakcore. also a huge fan of speedcore and drill & bass but breakcore is my home. i wishhh it wasn't called this but my favorite like subgenre of breakcore is probs lolicore not for any fuckin weird reason but just bc the way the vocals are usually mixed scratches my brain sooooooo fuking good. listen to various types of ads by loli in early 20s and youll get it. i fucking love experimental breakcore my favorite album rossz csillag alatt született mixes breakcore+dr&b w classical and it's sooooo fucking good it's SO good i need to learn more fuckin instrument plug ins so I can make shit like that. in general i just love music that feels like it's fuckin drilling it's way into youre brain and rewiring it i want the music to fuckin labotomize me fr

39. What do you think your spirit animal would be if you had one?

- idk maybe a rat i like rats. dude imagine if i was a rat like ritz we could have cheese together. we can do that anyway but it would be more awesome

40. Have an accent of any kind?

- yea autism

41. Chess or checkers?

- checkers i have no idea how to play chess but it sounds convoluted as fuk

42. Do you feel sentimentality toward a particular object?

- i love my laptop even if I get a new computer and this thing breaks completely im keeping this laptop ily laptop

43. Are you generally pretty secretive, or are you an open book?

- im like accidentally secretive i dont even try like wtf do you mean im supposed to talk about shit

44. What are you most embarrassed about?

- i feel like this was addressed in the nene thing

45. What are your deepest fears?

- have you ever seen that fuckin brony stuff where people get teleported to pony world as horses gf is obsessed with that kinda thing but that's TERRIFYING if i woke up as a horse id fuckin die of a heart attack

46. How desperate would you have to be to lie to, steal from, injure, or murder another person? Do you do any of those things regularly?

- i like the implication that i would admit to murdering ppl on a regular basis

47. Do you have any scars? How did you get them?

- it's so fucked up i got this scar on my face and it's so bad bc I don't even scar that easy like i get into fights my entire life but i only got one scar just bc some weeb tried to kill me. like ok

48. Say someone has mistreated you in some form. Would you immediately lose your temper, hold a grudge, or simply let it go?

- you wouldnt believe my epic power to do all of those simaltaneusly

49. How do you deal with physical and mental pain?

- max volume noise nothing can hurt me if the Loud

50. What is your ideal place to live?

- never thought abt it tbh ig anywhere with my partners

51. What was your childhood like?

- just 18 years of stupid therapy programs and stupid special ed classes and ppl telling me how to think and how to act and like I was 4 years old forever i don't careeee

52. What is your favorite kind of weather?

- i think snow is pretty

53. How important to you is friendship? What about romance?

- i think they're both pretty great but idk i feel like urself should be most important bc idk shit happens and ppl leave so if you dont like yourself youre just gonna be stuck with some miserable loser who doesnt have any friends as ur only company

54. Have any disabilities, weaknesses, or allergies?

- i feel like in a hypothetical situation i would be pretty weak to godzilla

55. What’s your favorite thing to eat?

- SPICY FOOOOOOOD my spice tolerance fucks hard i will drink hot sauce. right now holdbon

56. Do you have kids? If not, do you picture yourself ever having them?

- could you fucking imagine.

57. How well can you sing?

- idk but i like it

58. Are you particularly confident? Does your confidence level change if less people are around?

- if nobody got me i know i got me

59. Do you like shopping?

- delivery apps were invented for a reason

60. How do you interact with strangers?

- tbh i usually just tune out anyone that's not talking to me LMAO

61. Have you ever been betrayed by someone you loved?

- not like perminently

62. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

- don't like this question

63. If you could meet anyone from the past or future, who would it be?

- fuckkkkk my gf isn't home rn can I pick her

64. If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?

- money bigass house and then I wouldn't use the last one so we could just vibe forver

65. Do you like attention?

- ask pico

66. Are you glad I’ve run out of questions to ask?

- ig bc im puttin off chores ily though

[caramelcal]

his favorite club

warnings: swearing, arguing, talks of murder, gangs, use of weapons etc. don’t read if you are not comfortable with these! 

word count: 2.5k

a/n: HELLO!!!! WELCOME BACK TO THE NEXT LUKE/BAMBI POST!

thank you so much for all the love anons <3

requests: Anonymous asked:

Could you write a Luke x gang where him and the reader are fighting and maybe his arm goes up and she thinks he’s going to hit her but would never and it’s fluffy in the end?

Anonymous asked:

For the Luke x gang could you write something angsty like maybe he doesn’t come home on time like usual and y/n is really worried idk maybe goes to his place of business and it starts a big fight and the reader gets a bit scared of how mad he is? Idk you can take it in any direction.

Anonymous asked:

Loved the new Luke post. Was wondering if the next part could have some danger concerning the reader? Or maybe she sees the dangerous part of him and it scares her?

The only sound filling the apartment was the sounds of the small girl's shoes hitting off of the floor loudly, and the soft but irritating clicking of the clock that stood on the wall in front of her. It was 8:13 pm. Over an hour later than Luke had said he was going to be.

Bambi knew the dangers of the work that Luke lived in, but he had only ever been once late and even then, she had got a text explaining that he would be. Yet, this time, she never got a text, a call, nothing.

Radio silence.

Her stomach clenched up every time she thought about the possibilities of what could have happened to Luke. She wouldn't consider herself a pessimist, but she can't exactly say that she was expecting the best.

She was sure that if Luke didn't get home soon, the floor would have worn away from the amount of pacing she was doing right now. The clock continued to tick on, each movement from the small circular thing stuck on the wall bringing her more and more anxiety.

He should be home.

Maybe that's why she found herself in one of Luke's cars, somehow managing to sneak past the two members of Luke's gang that she had seen on the way down, and evading Jacob, Luke's personal driver.

In fact, Bambi hadn't driven a car since she moved in with Luke, always being driven around by either Jacob or Luke himself. It felt weird being behind a wheel again, but she didn't have time to dwell on it or soak up in the power she felt inkling into her chest before she was speeding out of the garage, onto the main highway of the city.

If Bambi was being honest, she probably broke about seven driving laws (if there were that many, probably, she thought) on the way to the club that Luke often found himself at. He never brought her there, and actually, forbid her from coming to altogether, but she knew he couldn't be too mad considering it was all about her concern about him.

From the moment she walked in, she felt out of place. Men in dark button-ups, cigarettes falling from their lips, women in minimal and sexy clothing, drinks all around. The red luminous lights of the bar being the only light provided. Her eyes scanned the area, looking for her tall boyfriend but it was really difficult.

A lot of the people in here were very tall, much taller than Bambi was, so trying to see over them was impossible. She was very out of place, alone, scared, and looked far too good to be in such a twisted club.

Somehow, she managed to make her way over to the bar, where she recognized a figure with his back turned towards her, making a cocktail. It was only seconds after when he turned around, dimpled face on display, he almost spilled the drink on him with how fast he stopped upon seeing her.

His eyes whipped around wildly around the club before walking over to her and whispering, "You shouldn't be here! Didn’t Luke forbid you from coming here? You need to leave!"

"Nice to see you too, Ash," Bambi couldn't help the sarcasm falling off of her lips before she asked, "Luke never got home. Is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine, he just got caught up with some paperwork and stuff, he should be back soon,"

"Paperwork?" She asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at the gang member.

"Well yeah, just updating a file on the drug run today just to say it went well," Ashton shrugged lightly, "he should be done soon."

Even though Ashton shrugged it off well, Bambi knew he was lying. She could feel it in her bones, in her gut, that he was lying and she was determined to find out the truth.

She shrugged lightly, "Well if it's just paperwork then he won't mind me being there."

With that, she stalked away from the bar in search of the backrooms, wasting no time for Ashton to catch up with her as she went on her way. She walked around the back hallways, looking for any indication of Luke's presence.

The rooms were silent. All but one.

"Please! I don't know anything! Stop!" It was a plead filled with both pain and desperation but it was quickly cut off with the sound of a swift but powerful hit.

Her pulse raced, legs shakily making their way towards the room, gently pushing the door open. It was silent, the door, cracking open so that the small girl could see.

Bambi felt sick.

She could see her boyfriend’s blond curls held up in a hair tie she had loaned him earlier this morning, bloody hand reaching up high as he punched the poor boy on the chair again.

“I’ll give you one more chance before I use something more than my hand,” He threatened gruffly, causing Bambi to flinch. Her breath was caught in her throat, eyes welling up in tears. She knew she shouldn’t have been so upset, she knew her boyfriend was a gang member, but something about seeing him doing this to someone with the same hands that caressed her and made her feel safe felt...wrong.

Suddenly, Ashton entered another door that entered into the room that Luke was in, alerting both Luke and Michael, who had been overlooking the situation. Only then did Bambi realize that Luke had picked up an object, it glinting in the light as he moved towards the door that Ashton had entered.

Luke was holding a knife.

A soft gasp escaped Bambi’s lips, thankfully not loud enough for Luke to hear. She didn’t want him near her, not right now anyway. She didn’t even want him to look at her.

“She’s here! You need to stop, Luke!” Bambi took that as her clear to get the hell out of there. If what Ashton said was true, about Luke being mad she was here, she didn’t want him to find her. Not anymore, anyway.

She didn’t want him to get anywhere near him. How could she possibly sleep at night knowing the man that slept beside her, that played with her hair, that made her feel safe, did that to people? What if he got so mad that he did that to her?

She was being irrational, but at that moment she couldn’t help it.

She shuffled backward, away from the door that led to the room Luke was in, choosing to swiftly get away from him now that she could.

Now, she wasn’t scared for Luke, she was scared of Luke.

“Hey kid, where are you goin'?” Calum asked as she crashed into his chest, making her stumble back lightly, mouth ajar.

She went to speak, to come up with some excuse but she didn’t have time. She couldn’t sit here and entertain Calum with a nice, little conversation when she was trying to evade her boyfriend.

That’s why she just turned, maneuvering around her, and started to run.

“Bambi!” The girl became rigid as she heard him shout, becoming increasingly aware that he had caught up to her, and was planning on talking to her. It was almost as if she was frozen in place, unable to move into the car and unable to move towards him, not that she wanted to. However, she could hear him come to a stop behind her, his voice softer as he spoke, trying not to gather any attention towards the couple, “Why are you here? I thought I told you that you weren’t allowed at the club?”

Her mouth ran dry, unable to respond. In fact, she acted as if she never heard him speak, afraid of what he would do if she pissed him off. Yet, her silence was probably the most angering thing to the tall blond boyfriend of hers, which became obvious when he spoke next.

“Bambi? Let me get you out of here, I’ll drive,” He went to grab the car keys out of her hand, but she had seen his shadow when he went to grab them, quickly jerking out of his grasp, turning around, and staring up at him.

She didn’t miss the slight shock in his eyes when she did so, or the irritancy that bubbled deep beneath. Her throat felt thick, clouded, but she quickly cleared it, voice forceful as she stared up at the gang member, “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Bambi, what the hell are you talking about? Just let me drive and we can talk about this when we get home lets not cause a scene,” Luke was trying to reason with the girl, not cause a scene in front of his men, but Bambi was not having it. She wasn’t about to get into a car with him, shaking her head wildly, “Bambi.”

His tone was a warning, deep voice, cold tone. It was demanding but Bambi was not in the mood for Luke to boss her about, especially not right now.

“What? You don’t want people to realize that we’re fighting and that I’m your girlfriend, is that it?” The words were flying out of the girl’s mouth before she could stop them and Luke’s blue eyes glared down at her, his jaw ticking.

“Is this really what this is about?” Luke asked, referring to the argument they had gone through all of those weeks ago. Yet, that it isn’t. The problem was that Bambi saw something she wasn’t supposed to, that Luke had tried to shield her from as best as he could. Even if it meant that she wasn’t allowed near his favorite club.

“You nearly killed him, Luke.”

Her voice was painfully quiet, muttering in a way that makes it obvious she had to force the words out. Her fists are clenched at her sides, her eyes looking down to evade the scrutiny of his gaze.

“Bambi you don’t know what you saw-”

“You had a knife, Luke! I saw you punch him just look at your hands right now they’re-” She stopped briefly, glancing down at the man’s hands, the ones that gave her such tender, sweet love. The ones that made her feel safe, yet now? All she seen was all of the blood coating them, some dry some relatively fresh, “they’re covered in his blood.”

Luke flexed his hands slightly, feeling the blood coating them become ever so evident, “What else am I supposed to do? What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? I work in a fucking gang, you knew this.”

“I didn’t think-” The girl cut herself off, shaking her head as tears rose to her eyes, shielding her view.

“What the fuck do you think I do? Hand out fucking rainbow stickers and give them a nice hug? That’s not how this works, you know this,” His voice was harsh, and slowly rising to a loud level, and all Bambi wants is to go and hide away from him; to be by herself. She can’t handle this, not right now.

“How can you expect me to be ok with this?” The girl asked, “It’s sick! It’s twisted! You could have killed that guy!”

“Don’t suddenly go getting morals just because you saw a bit of fucking blood! We’re leaving. Now,” His voice is demanding, loud and borderline shouting, his hand coming down towards her rapidly to grab the car keys off of her but then he froze at the movement from the small girl in front of him.

She flinched.

Silence filled them both.

The tears that tracked down her face started to build in his eyes, his heart dropping to his feet when he saw the girl cower. It was barely for a second when she shielded her head, in the same place he had hit that guy barely five minutes before like he was going to hit her.

He spluttered with his mouth ajar. Bambi, his Bambi, the one he had worked so hard to protect, to love, to cherish, was scared of him. He just wanted to comfort her, to hold her close and let her know that everything was going to be okay. Yet, he couldn’t comfort her that he would battle all her fears when he was what she was scared of.

“Bambi...” It was a sad plead.

The girl never replied, tears becoming thicker as she shook her head. She was overcome with emotions. Afraid, sad, ashamed, angry; she wasn’t entirely sure what she was feeling at that moment.

“Bambi I’d never...”

The girl wouldn’t look him in the eyes. Never in his whole life had Luke felt so ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he would ever let a fragment of his girl believe he would ever harm her or put her in harm’s way.

He would do everything to make sure she was okay.

“I need to go,” The girl gingerly wiped her tears with her -Luke’s- jumper, the large sleeves rolled up but still covering her hands fully. She entered the car and Luke made no move to stop her, he didn’t care that she had taken one of his cars at that moment, he didn’t care that she had disobeyed his orders of coming to the club, he didn’t care about anything other than how he had wronged her.

Then, he was left by himself, in the middle of the club’s back parking lot, blood still coating his hands that even made him feel sick now. The cold night air nipped at his skin, yet again reminding him that he was void of her warmth. He was all alone.

He returned home all of twenty minutes later, a fresh pair of clothes on and hands bare of blood. The house was quiet but he knew that she was there, the bedroom door ever so slightly ajar, a faint light emitting from the room.

He leaned against the door frame, watching her with a sullen face as she packed. She was only packing a few outfits, not anything major as she sniffed lightly. She was still crying, Luke noticed, and it made his heart ache, “I’m leaving for Anna’s. I just need some time.”

Luke knew he was in no position to argue with the girl right now. She was fragile enough as it is, and even if Luke didn’t want her to leave, she needed space and he respected that.

She slung the overnight bag over her shoulder, hefting it up, “I’ve called an Uber. They’re waiting downstairs.”

Luke nodded as Bambi stopped in front of him, and almost hesitantly, he leaned down, pressing a tender kiss against her forehead, “Stay safe, ok? I love you.”

The girl nodded her head, sending the boy a tight-lipped smile before leaving, leaving Luke alone once again. Yet, despite the heartbreak, he felt in that moment as she left, he knew this wasn’t the end. He’d manage to make it up to her, he was sure of it. He wouldn’t rest easy until he did.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

Don't nah to me.

NESTOR OCETEVA. ┃ MAYANS MC.

❝ request by @yourwonkywriter: Hi, Aurora, beautiful piece of art, my friend, my love, marry me and god bless your parents. Could I please request number 6 of the Random prompts list with Nestor (if that one isn’t taken, yet? Thank you💖✨

❝ request by @the-radical-venus: Hey!! I love the new prompts it was so hard to decide on one I'm so excited! Idk how I'm going to be able to wait until January, Ive been waiting everyday for each of your November prompts to come out so I've kinda sold you my soul at this point haha “Wanna like— I mean, if you're not busy… We could get lunch, maybe? Or even just a coffee, if you don't have a lot of time?” For nestor oceteva? Preferably him saying that line?

❝ prompts: “Nah”. “Don’t ‘nah’ to me”. / “Wanna like— I mean, if you’re not busy… We could get lunch, maybe? Or even just a coffee, if you don’t have a lot of time?”

❝ words: about 800.

Gif credits to my lovely @sonsofeorl.

Stretching your arms over your head and uttering a soft pleased grunt when you feel your back gnashing, you continue your path to the kitchen. It's almost lunchtime, but you came last night too late from San Diego and you need a coffee urgently. It has been the first time in two months that you've been able to sleep for more than six hours, after finishing the period of exams at college. And it feels so good to sleep in your bed. Almost colliding with your big brother, as he steps out from the kitchen, he leaves a rushed kiss on your forehead before disappearing through the living room straight to his office. It's good to be back at home.

“Buenos días”. You yawn covering your mouth with a hand, once Nestor turns around.

“Buenos días”. He replies, noticing the fleeting shine in his dark eyes.

Puckering your lips squinting towards him, you grab a mug from the cupboard about to giggle somewhat ashamed. There's something in his smile that could kill you in a sight, making you feel a little nervous.

“Good sleep?”

“Yeah”. Nodding your chin, you pour some coffee to your delight, not waiting to take a sip from your cup.

You can't help but keep your eyes on his at all times, intrigued, figuring out what's going on inside his mind. Licking your top lip, you shake your head expecting some more words from him. Maybe, something about his thoughts right now. But Nestor is just staring at you, silent, like a freak.

“It's creepy what you're doing”. You whisper wrinkling your nose.

The head of security chuckles, resting his waist against the counter as he keeps his hands inside the pockets of his dark pants, slightly showing a pair of colored suspenders over the black shirt perfectly ironing. Nestor rubs the back of his head for a moment, before hiding his hand again. You know what it means. You know him ever since and, even if sometimes he's very quiet, you've learned to read his gestures throughout the years. He's nervous. His fingers are shaking. His palms are sweating. All from a second ago, when you've walked in.

“Wanna like— I mean, if you’re not busy… We could get lunch, maybe? Or even just a coffee, if you don’t have a lot of time?”

For you, it's so cute the way he has to clean his throat pretending everything is going normal, that you feel your cheeks and the tip of your ears burning. Kissing your teeth, you look at the way Miguel has taken a minute before, considering if it'd be correct to date his best friend, the only man he trusts in. Nestor has liked you ever since, but you aren't sure if you should hear your heart or the last brain cell alive in your head.

“Like a date?” You raise an eyebrow interested in his reply, and because of that, you can see how he gulps a little jumpy.

“A da— date? Nah… Nah, nah, nah”. He's lying.

Standing up and taking the last sip from his mug, he leaves it inside the sink about to abort the mission and run away. The expression on him lets you know he has fucked up at the moment you haven't said yes, simply.

“Don't nah to me, Nestor”. You laugh inevitable at the grimace of horror, not finding any escape route when your brother appears again accompanied by Álvarez.

“You okay? Looks like you've seen a ghost, brother”. The older makes fun of him, watching how he loosens the neck of his shirt by undoing a button.

“Yeah, everything go— good”.

“What's your plan for today?” Your brother questions whilst grabbing a small bottle of water from the fridge, sounding very interested.

“I'm goin' on a date with Nestor”.

Oh, the pettiness. Silence filling the kitchen. Your brother lands his eyes on his best friend; confused, perplexed. Miguel must be thinking it's one of your jokes or something like that until he notices the sweat on Nestor's forehead. Marcus laughs breaks the tension installed around you, shaking his head as if it was the funniest thing he has heard in his life. The counselor has to abandon the place, almost choking on his own saliva, flooding the house with his laughter.

Miguel just sips water, moving his head from you to Nestor, like when he watches a tennis game.

“Qué desagradable”. He babbles, imagining stuff he doesn't have to imagine. “New nightmares unblocked… I don't want to know… a thing about it”.

Waving his free hand, your brother disappears again not adding another word to his sentence. Nestor is close to a heart attack, trying to say something in his defense. But he has collapsed.

“I'm free for lunch”.

“Uh?” He utters placing his attention back on you.

“Lunch. I'm free”. You repeat, conscious he hasn't heard you.

“Ok— okay. I, uh… I'll wait for you to… get ready”.

If you’ve liked it, lemme know in a comment, I’d really appreciate it. Reblogs are welcome too, so more people can enjoy it! ✨

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[mxvladdy]

Ey, could you make food source reactions for Mammon & Levi like you did with the others?

I've read it like 3 times now, they're all so sweet and believable you did a great job!

You got it Fam! Glad you like them so much lol. (I got a lot more angsty with Mammon than I thought I would but I love him sooooo)

Mammon

This poor man. He gets to spend so little time alone with you. He has to make every second count. Between the hustling, modeling, and running from Lucifer, he’s a pretty busy guy. 

So he plans date nights. Just you, him, and his leather couch. Ya ain’t goin’ nowhere, ya hear? He looks forward to this every month. He pins it on his calendar too just so he doesn’t double book himself. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. Just cause he plans this doesn’t mean he necessarily has a plan. Not that you care. Most of his activities turn into trouble anyway, even when he is not trying.  

 Sometimes he teaches you how to play cards (also shows you human ways to cheat-just in case you need it). The hours are spent pleasantly sitting in his lap while he teaches you how to count cards.

But, most nights, he just wants to talk. He enjoys his time with you. You and him cuddling and chatting away the hours before passing out for the night. 

He has a lot of things he wants to know about you. To him, he feels like if he knows you better than the other brothers he’s won. 

Won what? Idk, your affection? Approval? He already has it, but he is insecure about his place in your heart regardless. 

This evening starts out like any other. Mammon dashing to the kitchens to pilfer some snacks and drinks before Beel can steal them all, and you bring your cute self over to his room. 

You two toss back a few drinks and spend some time looking over his latest photo shoots before going on to the main event. Tonight you brought one of your favorite human card games. It was like 20 questions, but some questions were more risque than others. Was it meant for more than two players? Yes, but whatever- Mammon wants to play it so you are.

You both are relaxed and drowsy by the time you start playing. Your stomachs are full of junk, and the morning moons are just on the horizon. It’s the perfect mixture for loose lips and secrets, before falling asleep in each other's arms. 

You pick easy cards first, jumping from silly innocent questions to one that made him blush from ear to ear. The hours pass quickly and Mammon’s answers become more slurred and accented as he tires out. 

He was on the verge of sleep when you ask,  “What’s your favorite dish?” 

It was a slip of the tongue, a long-lost memory pulled up from the dregs of his exhausted mind. He remembers a savory dish Barbatos use to make way back when. He can still smell the savory smoky spices mixing with the fresh vegetables and meat- Oh shit.

He feels you stiffen and he ain’t sleepy anymore, that’s for sure. Immediately up and apologizes. He stumbles over himself in his haste to explain himself. 

You spend the rest of the evening with him in your arms trying to comfort him as he tearfully swears he hasn’t eaten a person in a couple of hundred years. 

Mini Fic

He regrets it the moment the words slip out. His sleepy remark hangs out in the chilly air of his room. He feels you jerk in his arms as if punched. “Shit! I-I didn’t mean.” Mouth agape, he backtracks, tongue working faster than his overtaxed brain. He looks down at your head on his chest. 

Your eyes are wide. Their surprise reflected in the bright blue moonlight. His heart sinks to his stomach. Gods, he ruined it. “I’m sorry- I.”  Pushing you off of his chest he goes to grab his shirt and redress, ignoring the prickling heat growing at the corner of his eyes. He could sleep somewhere else tonight. You could have the room if you wanted, or at least give you a minute to flee in terror from the demon that masqueraded as your friend. He can’t look at you. Hells, he was too ashamed to even glance in your direction. What kind of idiot let’s slip that? They even had a council meeting about this very thing before you arrived. 

So lost in his panic he doesn’t notice you trying to get his attention. It wasn’t until you forcefully grab his arm did he hear you. “It’s ok Mammon.” You engulf him in your warm and comforting scent. Strong arms dragging him back to the crumpled sheets of his bed. Your soft fingers wipe at the silent tears streaking down his cheeks. 

He dislodges himself from your light grasp to rub at his own eyes. “How can ya’ say that?” Where was your sense of self-preservation? Ain’t humans supposed to be aware of such dangers? The irony wasn’t lost on him though. Being your ‘protector’ and all.

You shuffle closer, hellbent on comforting. His pack mark hums gently on his chest when you touch it. As much as his body wanted to run, your pact mark cemented him to his seat. He sits while you fuss over him slowly breathing through his mouth to calm his racing heart. He can’t help but drift closer to you when he feels your hand on the top of his head. When had he become so weak for you? 

“Well-How can I not?” You shrug. He closes his eyes when you start ruffling his fringe. “You’ve been nothing but sweet to me. Yes, you have,” You cut him off firmly before he can object. “Always my number one anyway.” That pulls a wet chuckle from your demon. His eyes clear up at your admission. “I trust you Mammon, honestly. I mean, I kinda knew that you’ve probably eaten a human or two in your life. Knowing, and knowing are more different than I thought.” 

 Mammon cages you in his arms, his nose brushing along your neck and jawline. “Damn-.” He huffs covering you in his warm body, arms tight around your sides. “I’m sorry. I ruined tonight.” Mammon sighs into your skin. 

You hug him back. “Nonsense, if you want to get technical I think you won this game. I can’t top that answer.” You push away with a wide yawn. “Now can we go back to bed?” With a nod, he flops over pulling you down with him. You bully your way into his arms again. Sighing constantly you snuggle in for the night, ready to drift off. His eyelids began to feel heavy again too. Your soft weight on him like a security blanket. He listens to your slowly beating heart, matching his breathing to yours. The rhythmic thumps working to calm him better than his noise machine. He basks in your presence, rubbing his broad hand down your back for a moment before you speak again.

“Hey, Mammon.” 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you think I would taste good?” 

Leviathan 

Awkward boy. Of course, he has had his fair share of humans. Not particularly his favorite through. A lot of the time it wasn’t on purpose. His demon form is big and sometimes more than just fish and other demons get swallowed up. Course when that happened, they weren’t exactly fresh either. Bleh-just thinking about it makes his stomach turn. 

No, he never got a taste for it, even when it was served in the royal palace. The memories of the sea are still pretty vivid. It never really crosses his mind anymore. Till you bring it up.

He invites you over for a game night. A new VR game he had been saving up for just dropped and he had to play it with you.

It was a horror stealth game. Heavy on critical thinking and solving puzzles in real-time.

Your two characters were on a race against time against a flesh eating cult that had invaded a small village. He thought it was a fun concept and you both liked horror games. He didn’t notice how quiet you had gotten until you had set your controller down. 

You ask during a loading screen after a pretty graphic cut scene of a npc getting caught. How realistic was that cut scene? Had he ever eaten a human before?

Boy is a brighter pink than Ruri-chan’s signature outfit (and twice as cute lbr) 

He gets so flustered that he misses the start of the next round and gets you both eaten. 

He doesn’t take conflict well. Like at all. He much rather slink off into his fish tank and hide than answer you. In fact, that sounds like an excellent idea.  

He slithers back out of his tank hours later thinking you had left or found a better brother to hang out with. Yucky people eaters like him aren’t good company for humans. 

You jump him the minute his feet are back on solid ground. Have an answer now you must! Yrssss. 

Mini Fic

“L-Let go!” Levi shrieks, caught in your sneak attack. He locks up when you jump him, all four of your limbs wrapping around his soaking body like an octopus. 

“No!” You squeeze him harder taking full advantage of the fact that he won’t remove you himself. You feel the heat of his blush through his soaked clothes as you cling closer. If he could blush any harder you were pretty sure steam would be wafting off of him. 

“Why do you want to know anyway?” He wiggles gently, trying to loosen your tight grip. 

“Morbid curiosity.” Well, at least you were honest. He was still going to say no, you didn’t need to know that about him. He opens his mouth to shut you down but makes the mistake of looking at you. The words die when he catches the pout growing on your face. Oh no- his one weakness. Your way your lower lip pops out adorably, accompanied by slightly puffed-out cheeks. It was a one-two punch to his defenses. 

“I-they weren’t on purpose.” He pleads. Nevermore in his life did he wish he could turn into a mist-like his brother. He feels you slip off of him. Your bare feet don’t make a sound on his carpeted floor. “It just happened sometimes.” He admits. You accept it for a few seconds before his words fully hit you.

“Wait? How do you accidentally eat someone?” You ask incredulously. “All though- that’s something Beel might do.” You ponder the logistics and step back to give him some space.

He rights himself, wicking the moisture from his coat and pants with magic until he is completely dry again. You start asking a dozen more questions in rapid fire. It was enough to make his head spin. You were too curious for your own good. “Ever heard of basking whales?”  

You blink. 

Levi sighs and waves a hand to himself.  “When I lived in the ocean… I’m big ya know. I kinda would just open my mouth and swallow. Whatever I caught I ate.” He waits for you to get the jest. Most of the time it was smaller fish and aquatic mammals. When a demon encroached on his territory he would eat them too. The dead were meant for his army, but sometimes they got sucked into.

Instead of nodding in understatement, you cover your mouth with the palm of your hand and snort. His eyes grow big and his blush turns brighter. You were spending way too much time with Asmo. “No-Not like that!” His flailing only makes you laugh harder. Great, as if he didn’t want to die of embarrassment already.

“Well word it better, nerd.” You laugh retreating back to the mound of pillows you claimed for gaming, VR headset in hand. “Come on, we have to start over now- thanks to someone.”

“You started it!” Levi shoots back grabbing up his gear as well. He fiddles with it for a moment before glancing back at you. You were oblivious to inner turmoil over this admission. A naval admiral was one thing. Humans had them too, that wasn’t too much for you to comprehend. Being a devil was easy enough to understand too, at least in his mind. But eating people? Shouldn’t you be more concerned? “So-that’s it?”

You look up questioningly. “What’s it?” 

He raises a purple brow. “You have nothing else to say? I just admitted to eating people!” 

“Not really.” You shrug. “I can’t get too pressed about it. It’s not like you are human. I’m like what-at the bottom of the food chain to you, right?” Levi nods. “See! So no point stressing over it. ‘Sides, you haven’t munched on me yet.” You turn your attention back to the screen, flicking your controller to wake his flat-screen back up. “Unless~” He gulps at the sly eyebrow wiggle you throw at him, the shit eating grin that accompanied it only made him worry.  “Perhaps you just have an appetite for seamen.” 

Your peals of laughter mix with his shrill yelps of objection, as he tackles you. His previous worries were completely forgotten by your teasing. 

[burgundyhaven]

Runaway

(Kit Walker x Female Reader)

Description: You run away from your parents house and your bf kit,helps and goes along with you.

Word count:1240

a/n: idk if where he works at is really a gas station or an auto shop so im going with auto shop sorry for any confusion. Huge amount of grammar and punctuation errors (sorry).Also this ones somewhat fluffy? im not sure, hope you enjoy!!

You had just ran away from your parents, they were extremely unsupportive of your relationship with kit. They thought that he was unfit for you as he didn’t have much money and he worked at an auto shop.

Your plan was to get as far away from town as possible because you knew that your parents would go after you and would accuse kit of being the one who made you leave. Though you did leave mainly because of kit, he never told you to run away or even brought up the idea so you didn’t want kit to get in any trouble.

You were driving with no particular destination in mind. You passed by the auto shop Kit worked at and you knew it was closed but you also knew he would still be in there somewhere because it was still only around 8:30 after all.

You drove your car into the shop and almost immediately you hear Kit’s voice yell out “sign says closed!”

You get out of your car and proceed to walk towards the area where you knew kit would be

Kit heard your footsteps, though he didn’t know it was you

He gets up when he hears the foot steps getting closer

“Didn’t you read the si-“ Kit said alarmed at the sight of you with rosy cheeks and eye bags so prominent that your undeeyes were at least 3 shades darker than your skin

“Y/N, my god what’s wrong”

“Kit. I ran away”

“What do you mean you ran away”

“I mean I ran away, I can’t take being there anymore. I couldn’t stand hearing how they talked about you and how they would constantly torment me everyday 24/7 nonstop. I needed to leave.”

Kit put his hands on your cheeks while his thumb wiped away a tear that slipped away from your eye

“Hey,hey,hey everything’s gonna be okay, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I know” you said sniffling

After a while you decided you needed to get going as you knew your parents would be after you soon

“Kit, I’ve gotta go my parents will be here any minute looking for me”

“Alright doll do you know where you’re gonna go? I don’t want you getting lost- I should come with you”

“I don’t know Kit, it just doesn’t seem like a good idea”

“what do you mean, you’ll be safer if i go with you. cant have a girl as beautiful as you all alone at night. besides, won’t your parents be here lookin for me? they’ll be threatening me to tell them where you’re at”

“Okay yeah i suppose that does make sense.”

“alright then, where are we headed”

“well... i haven’t exactly planned that part out yet unfortunately. do you got anywhere we could go to”

“I do kinda have a really small house i own about an hour away from here. it’s mainly for holidays and getaways but i guess we could go there”

“kit, that’s more than fine. anything’s better than being here”

“alright but we better get goin before your parents show up here.”

“yeah probably”

kit could see the worry in your eyes,he brought you closer to him and reassured you

“(y/n) look, your parents aren’t gonna be able to find us i promise you, we’ll be safe there for at least a year if not more. you don’t got anything to worry about”

“yes, i know ” you said staring up into kits eyes

“kit we need to go now”

“Okay let me lock up everything start the car Im driving”

kit got in the car and started driving to the location of the house

“kit wait”

“what’s wrong doll”

“you don’t have any of your stuff, if we’re supposed to be staying there for a year, you need at least a few of your things we can’t risk coming back into town”

“will it make you feel better?”

“yes, a lot actually”

“fine i’ll go but i’m only gonna get a few things”

“okay good get whatever you can”

kit quickly got out of the car and went into his house and he ran in and got things like money,clothing,bills,paperwork,and the keys to the house of course

kit immediately started driving the second he got back in the car, he was not going to waste any time

“kit i don’t think you brought enough things, did you turn off everything and made sure it didn’t look like anybody was just in the house?”

“yes i did everything, and don’t worry i have enough things to last me at least 10 years”

You were on the road for about an hour and a half. You both talked (and laughed) a lot during the trip. You noticed it had begun to snow around the middle of the ride. It wasn’t much but it was enough for it to visibly start accumulating on the ground and on the windshield.

Once you arrived, you’re made sure to quickly get all of your things in the house and began to worry about if your parents could somehow find you through your license plate

“Kit what if they put out a search for me and they put the license plate and the car out on posters. They’re gonna find me and make me go back. I can’t go back there- I- I wont.”

“And you’re not gonna have to. I’ll put the car in the garage and I could remove the license plate,nobody’s gonna suspect anything, alright?”

“yeah, i guess i’m just overthinking it. thanks kit. for everything for all the helps with this, heck i’d probably be back in my house crying myself to sleep if it weren’t for you.”

“of course, i’ll do anything for my girl. And (y/n) you weren’t overthinking anything. i’d be thinking the same as you if i had parents like that”

you smiled; kit following with a wide smile revealing his dimples

“Now lets go inside before the other houses hear us and think somethings goin on”

“Alright, so you’re sure my parents wont be showing up here anytime soon?”

“I’m more than sure of it doll”

You went inside, made sure all the entrances (including the windows) were locked. You and kit watched tv and ate the small snack you brought with you and some of the things he had in a pantry.

“We should get some food tomorrow half of this stuffs beyond expired” Kit said as he read off the expiration dates of cans and packages.

“ I know I know, but we’d better cover up so if any of my moms friends are in the area, they won’t be able to make out our faces”

“well that works out perfectly considering the the snowstorm out there” kit said making you laugh

“it’s almost 2:30 am we oughta go to bed”

“fine i guess so” kit whined, reminding you of how he was when you were little

You both got ready for bed. You put on one of kits shirts and some long pajama bottoms and put on a (clean) white tshirt and flannel print pants.

You both hopped in bed and layer close to each other to keep warm as the insulation wasn’t all that good and it was extremely cold out. However, Kit didn’t get all that cold usually so it was mainly just for you.

You fell asleep in each other’s arms and it felt so good to know that you would be seeing Kit every morning instead of having to see him in secret.

[goddess-of-geeks]

Grace and Power pt. 7

Burn

A/N: I wrote a nice chunk of this like after mid-night and I’m starting to believe that I should write after midnight more often. WE GOIN BACK IN TIME FOR THIS B****!!!

Memories are in Italics!

Word Count: 3.4k

Warning: Violence, burns, idk how to write warnings.

Pt. 6

~~~

You found yourself  on the deck of the ship with Iroh and Zuko. Iroh stood by your shoulder, Zuko was behind the both of you with a telescope to his eye. His attention solely focused on locating the Avatar.

You yawned into the palm of your hand. You were quite tired. You spent a lot of last night looking for your katana for its monthly polish but you couldn’t seem to find it. Turns out it was underneath your bed.

Iroh took in a deep breath, inhaling the salty sea smell that surrounded him.

“There is a storm coming. A big one.” Iroh announced.

“You’re out of your mind Uncle,” You looked over your shoulder to Zuko as he spoke. “The weather’s perfect. There’s not a cloud in sight.

“I don’t know Zuko…” You said cautiously your eyes locked on the horizon. “Your uncle has much more experience than you, maybe we should listen to him.”

Zuko ignored you, he's been doing that quite often. Since he knows you’re too stubborn to answer why you were banished, he’s being difficult and now he won’t even look at you or listen to you.

“We know the Avatar is traveling Northward, so we will do the same.” Zuko said.

Iroh turned around to face his nephew, you kept your back to the prince. “Prince Zuko, consider the safety of the crew.” He said.

‘The safety of the crew doesn't matter!” The prince snapped at his uncle.

As Zuko made such a bold statement Lieutenant Jee walked onto the deck. He appeared to be quite angered at the prince's choice of words. To be fair you were angered as well.

You turned around to watch Zuko. You saw him approach the lieutenant.

“Finding the Avatar is more Important than any individual's safety.” Zuko said. Zuko turned and entered the ship, he shut the hatch behind him. Leaving You Iroh and the lieutenant together on the deck.

“He doesn't mean that.” Iroh said to the lieutenant. “He’s just all worked up.”

“I’m finding a hard time believing that.” You told Iroh. You walked away from the two and walked below the deck to your quarters. You were tired and you didn't want to deal with a storm.

You lied on your bed thinking, believing, hoping, that Zuko would come to his senses and redirect the ship. However you knew your wishes were futile. This isn’t the same Zuko you knew all those years ago.

With those thoughts plaguing your mind you drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

~~~

A slight pain in your stomach awakened you from your sleep. You sat up straight in your bed, placing a hand on your stomach. You heard your stomach whine for food. You got out of bed and walked towards the kitchens. You assumed you’ve had a decent amount of rest, considering you were less tired than you were before.

You stumbled your way down the corridors and made your way into the kitchens. You pushed open the doors and was shocked to see Zuko on the other side.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, hostility in his voice.

You brought your hand up to cover your lips as a yawn escaped your mouth. “It’s the kitchens’ Zuzu, I’m here to get some food.” You said as you pushed past him towards the warm stew on the fire.

You reached for a bowl but something latching itself onto your wrist stopped you. You looked down at your wrist in shock and saw Zuko’s hand wrapped around it.

“There’s no need. I noticed how you slept through breakfast so I thought I would get you something to eat.” He told you bashfully, avoiding your eyes.

“Thank you Zuzu.” You said, as you took the prepared bowl of soup that he handed to you.

You gave Zuko a small smile and left the room. He left as well heading in the opposite direction towards his quarters. You took three steps in the direction towards your room before you stopped and turned around.

“Zuko.” You called out towards the princes receding back.

Zuko stopped and looked over his shoulder. He gave you a questioning glance.

You took a shaky breath before speaking, “I think it’s about time I told you about my banishment.”

You motioned for Zuko to follow you. He did so, and together you walked in silence to your room.

As you neared your door, Zuko stepped ahead of you to open the door for you. You gave a small nod of the head as thanks to his actions. You walked towards the desk you had in your room and placed down your bowl. You walked over to your bed and sat down at its edge. You pat the open spot next to you to signal Zuko to take a seat. He did so leaving about a foot of distance between the two of you.

The both of you sat together, bathed in silence, whether it be comfortable or uncomfortable you couldn’t tell.

You took one last deep breath. Looking ahead of You. You began to tell the tale.

“This started around a few weeks before you found me under Zhaos command…”

You stood near the fountain at the palace gardens. You were told by one of the servants that the Princess would meet you here. So you've been waiting.

“Y/N!” You heard a voice call out. It was Azula, Mai and Ty Lee stood behind her. “It’s wonderful that you could make it.” She said with a smile on her face.

You gave a small smile in return. “I’m lucky I had some spare time. My uncle finally deemed me old enough to help him in the forgery. So my schedule has been quite full as of late.” You said with a little laugh.

The trio approached you. Mai gave you a small smile, and Ty Lee practically tackled you in a hug. You had to stumble backwards to catch yourself as your arms wrapped around Ty Lee’s waist.

“It's lovely to see you again as well Ty Lee.” You said with a big smile.

The two of you stood together in an embrace until Azula cleared her throat.

Ty Lee drew her hands from your body and threw them in the air.

“Your aura is practically blinding today Y/N!” She said. “You must be very happy.”

“I am quite happy.” You said, nodding in agreement. “But that’s only because I get to see my bestfriends after so long.” You said turning your head to look at the other girls.

“Let’s go for a walk and catch up shall we.” Azula suggested. You nodded in agreement. 

The four of you walked together through the halls of the palace discussing anything and everything. You were constantly chatting and adding to the conversation. It was a very fun and nice way to spend the time.

But you know how the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Zuko became the topic of discussion and you decided to stay quiet throughout. You walked beside them watching your feet. Of course they noticed but none of them spoke out about it.

Azula seemed to be annoyed but you assumed it was because it was your lack of contribution to the conversation.

However, You found yourself speaking up when the question arose.

“Do you think Zuko will ever come back?” Ty Lee asked.

You stopped in your tracks. Looking up ahead of you. Ironically you found yourself in front of a portrait of the Royal Family. The whole royal family.

You looked into the happy eyes of Ursa before your gaze drifted down towards Zuko. He looked happy. You hoped he was happy.

“I hope he comes back.” You spoke up, drawing the attention of the three girls. Your eyes remained planted on the painting of the boy in front of you.

You shook your head before looking at your feet once again. “But what's the point of hoping? We all know he’s never coming back. The Avatar hasn't been seen in 100 years. This is a fool's quest.” You said you looked up at the trio. Ty Lee and Mai had a look of sympathy in their eyes. Azula looked a little standoffish about what you had to say.

“I don’t know why you care so deeply for my brother Y/N.” Azula said, you could hear the spite in her tone. “There’s nothing special about him except for his bloodline.” She said, shrugging her shoulders.

Azula looked up the portrait before giving it a look of distaste. “Let’s go someplace else. I don’t like that painting much.” Azula turned on her heel and went in the direction opposite of the portrait. Ty Lee and Azula followed after her.

You stayed in your spot, giving the boy in the paining one last look before following after your friends.

~~~

It was late at night you had awoken from your sleep. You sat up and looked around, taking in your surroundings. You were in a soft bed, and there was someone beside you. You remembered that Azula suggested that You, Mai and Ty Lee stay the night, but Ty Lee had to train for the Circus and Mai had curfew.

You lifted the satin sheets off of your legs and stepped on the carpeted floor of the palace. You were trying your best to be quiet but you shifting positions must have woken Azula.

You heard a yawn from behind you. “What are you doing awake at this hour?” She asked you, sleep lacing her tone.

“I couldn’t sleep.” You told her. You weren't sure yourself if that was the truth, but it was the only thing that came to mind.

“You know Y/N,” She said as she climbed out of bed and walked to your side. “I can tell when you’re lying.” She finished.

“Really?” You questioned with a smirk, “What's my tell?”

“You sound tired whenever you lie. Like it’s physically exhausting for you to not tell the truth.” She sat down by your side and reached for your hand. Her warm fingers interlocked with yours.

“Do you think Zuko will ever come back?” You asked her.

She leaned over to lay her head on your shoulder. “I must admit, I miss my brother. I miss the days with mom, before my father became fire lord. Everything was much more simple.” She sighed and looked up at you. “You make everything feel simple.” Her voice had an undertone of weakness and vulnerability that shocked you.

You turned your head to look at her, your faces were mere centimeters apart. Using her free hand she reached up to cup the side of her face. She leaned up and pressed a small lingering kiss to your lips. 

You didn’t pull away. Azula’s embrace was surprisingly comfortable. You found yourself relaxing and leaning in a little.

Azula pulled away. “Goodnight Y/N.” She said. “And try to get some sleep.” Azula stood up and walked back to her side of the bed. Azula got back under the covers you followed soon after.

You lay awake thoughts of the kiss at the forefront of the brain. You didn’t expect this softness from Azula, and you’d be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it.

~~~

You awoke alone in the bed. You weren’t surprised though. Azula has told you how she spent most of her time training. You got out of bed and changed into a more appropriate training attire. You were thinking of joining her.

When you finished changing you left the bedroom and asked one of the servants where you might be able to find Azula. They led you through the corridors and into a large training room where Azula was practicing her fire bending. Lo and Li stood beside one another critiquing  the princesses' moves.

“Good Morning Azula.” You said as you approached the princess. She just finished practicing some of her forms.

“Hello Y/N.” She said, “Care for a little sparring?” She questioned with a smirk.

“Oh I would love to but I’m afraid I left my katana at home.” You told her.

“I'm sure you’ll be able to find something in the Armory.” She said. “Lo! Li!” Azula said, turning to the elderly females, “Lead my friend Y/N to the Armory and give her the finest katana you can find.” She finished in a commanding tone.

“Yes, Princess Azula.” Lo and LI said in unison as they bowed. The two women left the room, you began to walk after them before Azula called out to you.

“Yes Azula?” You questioned.

She stepped towards you and placed a peck on your lips. “Thank you for being here, and making things simple.” She told you.

~~~

It was nearing nightfall when you decided to leave. You said your goodbyes to Azula and was making your way through the palace gates, when two guards stopped you.

“The Fire Lord demands your presence.” they told you.

“Why is that?” you asked them.

“You have committed an act of tyranny against the royal family.”

“What is this act of tyranny you're referring to?” You questioned them.

“You have engaged in a romantic relationship with the princess.”

“I believe you and I have very different definitions of tyranny.” You told them calmly.

The guards approached up but you stepped just out of their reach. They swiped at you but you dodged again. For every step they took towards you, you took one backwards.

They began to grow tired of your little games. One of the guards shot a fireball in your direction. You quickly ducked and rolled out of the way. You got up to your feet and ran behind a pillar. The guards sent a steam of fire in your direction.

“That's not fair, I’m unarmed!” You yelled over your shoulder. You pushed yourself off of the pillar and ran in the opposite direction of the firebenders. They sent volleys of fire your way but you were just able to dodge them.

You ran back into the palace, turning corners and running through passageways. The only things you could hear was the sound of your heart beating in your chest as well as the heavy footsteps caused by the guards.

You had no idea why kissing Azula could be deemed as an  ‘act of tyranny’. You knew same sex-relatipnships were illegal and frowned upon, but ‘act of tyranny’ is a bit uncalled for and quite harmful if you’re being honest.

You turned a corner and ran into something. You fell on your butt and looked up. You noticed how it was another guard. You quickly got up and tried fleeing, but your attempts were futile as he grabbed you by the wrist.

“Where do you think you're going?” He asked you.

“Preferably home.” You told him, a little out of breath from all that running.

You brought your leg up to stomp it on his foot, but he anticipated your strike and moved his leg out of the way.

You winced slightly as your foot made contact with the stone floor, causing a small pain to flare up in your ankle.

“You have a meeting with the Fire Lord.” The guard told you as he began to drag you down the halls. The other two guards finally caught up with you, and began to follow the guard that held you hostage. They dragged you into the throne room, Azula, Li and Lo were present as well. They all had their backs towards you, their heads bowed down to show respect for the Fire Lord.

Your heart beat began to quicken in your chest as you locked eyes with Fire Lord Ozai. He had a look of disgust on his face. The guards shoved you onto the floor. You kept your eyes glued to the wall of flames that surrounded Ozai.

“Y/N.” The Fire Lord said. “It’s shameful, what you’ve done. You have corrupted my daughter-” He said but you interrupted.

“No offense Ozai but I think you’re doing that just fine on your own.” You said without thinking. You quickly bit down on your tongue. Another slip up like that could get you killed.

The fire that surrounded Ozai grew higher and hotter with his rage.

“You pest, how dare you interrupt me.” His voice was frighteningly calm.

You took a couple of deep breaths to calm down your heart.

“Li and Lo have informed me that you have kissed my daughter. If this was any other fool's daughter, you wouldn’t have had to face me, but this is my daughter. Azula is the Princess of the Fire Nation, the heir to the throne, she is a fire bending prodigy. She is one of the most valuable people in this world. And you engaged in an illegal relationship with her.” He told you.

“To be fair,” You spoke up, “She kissed me first.” You told him.

“Are you implying that Li and Lo, my most trusted and loyal servants are lying to me?”

“Yes.” You said simply. The temperature in the room rose about 10.

“You’re lucky I’m feeling merciful today Y/N.” He told you, there was a look of pity on his face. “You are banished from the Fire Nation, and you are never to return.”

Your heart stopped beating entirely. You opened and closed your mouth, you looked like a fish out of water.

The guards grabbed you by the arms and practically threw you out of the throne room. You fell to the floor, you stayed down for a while feeling defeated.

The guards as well as Lo and Li walked out of the room, they passed you without even sparing you a glance.

You just got banished from your home. You were never gonna see your uncle again. You had nowhere to go.

You heard approaching footsteps and looked up. It was Azula. Her face was stoic. You quickly got up to your feet to face the princess.

“Father says that you have one day to pack your things before you leave.” She told you, avoiding your eyes.

“Did you even try to defend me?” You asked her.

She gave you a questioning look.

“We both know that you're the one who kissed me, so why didn’t you say anything?” You asked her.

“You dont understand Y/N my father is a cruel ma-”

“Not as cruel as you obviously, You knew a relationship between us would be illegal, but you also knew that because of your status your consequences wouldn't have been nowhere near as dire as mine.”

Azula looked angry, but so what. You just got banished from your home, you didn’t care if angering Azula was one of the last things you’ve done here.

“I am the Princess of the fire nation, the heir to the throne-”

“You’re nothing but a sad lonely girl who knows that no matter what she does she will never be good enough for me or her own mother.”

You saw the pain flash on Azula’s face before it was quickly morphed into anger. You turned on your heel and walked away from Azula. Tears making their way down your face.

“Y/N!” Azula screamed after you. “You don’t get to just walk away. I command you to stop.” She shouted.

But you wouldn’t listen.

“Fine, if you won’t listen,” She said, her voice dropping dangerously low, “I’ll make you listen.”

“... unfortunately for me.” You told Zuko, “That was also the day I learned to never bring up Ursa around Azula.”

“Why?” Zuko asked. “What did she do?”

You brought your hand up and reached for your shoulder blade. “She burnt me.” 

Zuko looked angered, “Azula has no right doing that!” He shouted as he stood from his seat.

Zuko went on a rant pacing your room going on and on about how it was cruel and unjust.

You sat still, looking at your now cold, untouched stew.

You yawned causing Zuko to stop talking. “Maybe you should get some rest. You look tired.” He told you sincerely.

“I feel tired.” You nodded, you got underneath your cover.

Zuko looked at you. It was quite obvious that he cared for your well being.

You yawned once again.

“Can you do me a favor?” You asked him.

He nodded his head.

“Redirect the ship.” You told him.

You laid your head on your pillow and closed your eyes. Quickly being lulled into sleep.

~~~

Master list

Taglist form

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Dolokhov Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov playlist annotations!

A note on the cover photo: I don’t really like this one but I got tired of looking at men on Pinterest so I gave up. The window symbolizes the rum window and the smoking symbolizes uhhhhh habitual bad life choices idk

Drinking game take a shot every time I say “it’s about the vibes”

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

“I break it just because I can”

This is THEE ‘I am going to cause problems on purpose’ song and that is like his entire narrative purpose!! Argue with me about this one I dare you

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! At The Disco

“If you wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch, make it a good one”

Partially its just vibes, I won’t lie. But also the consistent spoiling for a fight is very in character

Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC

“I’m like evil, I get under your skin”

It’s got I Am Morally Repulsive But Also I’ll Steal Your Girl energy which really hits all of Dolokhov’s character traits. And of course the added bonus of gun imagery.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”

I added it strictly for vibes, but then I realized the quoted lyric is very much him @ the Kuragins if you take the reading that he refuses to admit he actually like them but grows genuinely fond of them over time even though he initially got to know them with a lot of ulterior motives.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Mama, I just killed a man”

The amount of songs that are on these playlists just for what are essentially your mom jokes since Dolokhov loves his mom so much is a little pathetic. But I’m not wrong! I can’t really put it into words but something about this song has Dolokhov energy.

Feel It Still - Portugal the Man

“Give in to that easy living, goodbye to your hopes and dreams”

A good deal of what I find interesting about Dolokhov is the internal conflict he has of knowing he’s become rather wicked and problematic but also not really trying very hard to change and almost enjoying it so a lot of the songs on here are about that, including this one. The “I’m a rebel just for kicks now” also very much screams Causing Problems On Purpose.

The Bidding - Tally Hall

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

His whole role in volume one and two is to take advantage of the bourgeoisie! This song also oozes confidence and a sense of superiority that comes from being better than the sellouts in high society, Dolokhov’s not like other girls uwu (he really is, but I don’t think he would admit that).

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At The Disco

“I could be better but baby it’s Saturday night”

Embracing his own wickedness! The idea that he knows he could be better than he is but he doesn’t want to take that opportunity...yeah vibes

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

“I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in”

This is the epitome of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase he goes through when he’s into Sonya. Also “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color” reminds me of Comet Dolokhov’s stupid eyeliner <3

Some Nights - fun.

“So what is this? I sold my soul for this?”

There’s a long stretch of this playlist that just boils down to “Woe is me I need to be purified” crisis hours, because Dolokhov’s oscillation between embracing his own cruelty and trying to be a good person is super interesting to me. This song captures the idea that he’s still having fun and there’s some good there, but he’s also aware that he’s losing himself a bit

Roaring 20s - Panic! At The Disco

“I don’t even know me”

“Woe is me i need to be purified” crisis AGAIN. This song gets more to the annoyance with society as a whole and feeling kind of lost in it

Send Them Off! - Bastille

“Help me exorcise my mind”

“Please purify me 16 year old girl! I’m 27 this isnt creepy at all ahahahha”. I do despise Sonyakhov but this has the vibes of a man feeling his own evil and wanting a woman to fix it. Not a great look.

Easy Days (Demo) - Bastille

“I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days”

Near the end of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase when he’s kind of drifting back to his old ways and he’s like wait no- wait- and then he does anyway because he’s horrible. I also really like the acknowledgment that his horribleness is easy and pleasant for him, and he has to fight against that (and he loses that fight HDJAJJD).

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

“You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine”

This is a Dolokhov/Nikolai song I do not take constructive criticism. Undisclosed desires...not being straight...lots to think about! It feels almost like a corruption arc? Nikolai isn’t corrupted nor does their...fling (?) last very long but Nikolai is obviously enamored with Dolokhov despite him being The Worst so I think this fits. I don’t have enough songs for a Nikolai/Dolokhov playlist so I just add those songs to both of their individual playlists

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

“Thanks for the memories even though they weren’t so great”

Also mostly a Nikolai/Dolokhov song. This man has never ended a relationship on good terms, huh. Also. Sighs heavily. “He tastes like you only sweeter” never fails to make me laugh when I think about it in the context of Dolokhov post-duel being like oh?? You’re just a stupid WOMAN Hélène your brother and/or Nikolai is hotter than you :/ which is not exactly what I think happened but it makes me laugh to consider. Dolokhov ur bitterrrrr

Dangerous - Royal Deluxe

“I’ll be the last man standing here, I’m not going anywhere”

I feel like this has the vibes of his cruelty, especially in that bit after the Kuragins have died when he and Petya infiltrate the French army.

Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man”

He will hurt you and kill you so violently :) It’s about the vibes.

White Wedding Pt. 1 - Billy Idol

“It’s a nice day to start again”

In the exact inverse to his “woe is me I need to be purified” phase, he’s like ok yes i will pick up bad habits again and enjoy them because frick you! I read once that this song is about a relapse into drugs, but I’m making it analogous to his relapse into Terrible Person Behavior after Sonya’s rejection. Also the repetition of the phrase little sister does something for my brain idk, after we know he loves his mom and sister it just fits.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

“I’m on the highway to hell and I’m goin down”

Like White Wedding, it screams acceptance of his problematicness. He knows he’s cruel and evil and he revels in it. This is the phase we see him in most I think.

Back in Black - AC/DC

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”

I think this plays every time he gets reinstated to an army position he lost by being reckless earlier. Just kidding sort of but listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have Dolokhov vibes. If you do, you’re wrong <3

Poet - Bastille

“I have written you down now, you will live forever”

This is just here cause he ghostwrote Anatole’s love letters and I think it’s funny. It’s MY playlist and I get to choose the barely relevant Bastille songs

St. Jude - Florence + The Machine

“Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos”

This one’s more scattered lyrics than an overall vibe. “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun” has duel energy also.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco

Confession: I hate this song. However, it’s about the about the MOM R U PROUD OF ME vibes (she is. Should she be? Probably not).

Rich Kids - Bea Miller

“It’s never enough for the stuck up types”

The not coming from wealth and having to almost scam your way into being part of the aristocratic scene is very Dolokhov. Also in my mind the rich kid he’s roasting is specifically Nikolai.

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

“It’s a rich man’s world”

I’m not SAYING the wealthy man they talk about is Anatole but - [i am shot]. Scheming and clawing your way up to wealth is Dolokhovcore.

This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

I literally have no justification for this other than that i think modern AU Dolokhov would vibe with it. Look at the amount of eyeliner he wears in Comet and tell me he didn’t have an emo band phase. You can’t.

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

This is not about the words at all, it’s more about the vibes. It just sounds Dolokhovish to me, don’t ask me to explain.

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

“They’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if he can’t see them”

This gives me post-Kuragins’ death vibes, and I can’t pin down exactly why? I think it’s the idea of being very alone and closed off.

Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco

I can’t put a specific lyric to it but it’s the vibes of looking back on your hedonistic youths with nostalgia and rose-colored glasses. Post-Kuragins’ death vibes again.

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter

“One foot in the grave, the other one’s kickin’ its way right down to hell”

All we see of him after the Kuragins’ death is just him being particularly cruel and reckless, almost careless. This feels like it encapsulates that energy.

The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand

“They say you’re a troubled boy just because you like to destroy”

I’m aware that a good portion of this song is about a Christ figure but I’m going to respectfully ask you to ignore that bit and just focus on all the Sketchy Things the guy does instead. Thank you. He does in fact like to destroy things! Señor Cause Problems On Purpose back at it again at krispy kreme, huh.

[matteredloyaltyaa]

@yukikorogashi​ asked: 💞💖💘💕 tigger bounces in with these 👀

positivity meme -- slow, still accepting

Send 💞 and my muse will say something nice about your muse

    The house had grown silent in the late hours of the night, Arthur burning the midnight oil as he was prone to do. Mind running a mile a minute, and not really getting much from late night television, he opted to sit in the office across from Itsuki’s bedroom. At the thought, he found himself glancing toward the slightly ajar bedroom door, letting in a dim bit of light from the one he kept on in the hall for her. Aside from a small conversation about her day and a request for a story from his own, it seemed like she had fallen asleep pretty easily once he had started talking.

    He was never sure if he should take that as a compliment or not when it happened, but at least ONE of them was getting some much needed rest.

    As he could feel his thoughts starting to circle, he let out a small sigh from his nose as he shifted to pull a familiar book from one of the shelves. The pages were starting to become worn with use, Arthur about halfway into his current journal. He flipped open to the current page, a partly complete sketch of their newest addition to the household: an old collie that Itsuki had affectionately named Mochi. As far as he was aware, the old guy was asleep on a chair in the living room.

    Arthur huffed lightly out of his nose at the thought, turning to the blank page and started to scribble down some thoughts.

Itsuki’s growing in so many ways every day. It honestly surprises me sometimes.

I wasn’t the only one who question my decision to adopt a kid at first. Hosea had cast me that uncertain look when I first mentioned it, and the social worker...well, I could never really get a read on them, but somehow I managed to impress someone because here we are.

She’s healthy, hasn’t lost mind or limb. I figure I’m doing something right.

I know I’m not around as much as I wish I was, and Hosea’s been a great help in keeping an eye on her. Teaching her things in that special way he has, which is probably better for her than whatever I can give. Still, I catch the odd eye or word from him about spending more time with her, which I’m trying to do. It must be working, she certainly hasn’t come to hate me or resent me being home when I am. Yet.

Still, I love that kid. The odd nights she opens that bedroom door of mine to tell me about a nightmare or storm outside and we have to stay up a little later until she can sleep again, the way she races to the truck when I pull up to the school (even during the times where I know she’s had to wait for me,) it’s all something I never thought I’d see in my life or know it to be something I would miss if it disappeared.

I want nothing more than to see her happy, and she’s always the brightest person in the room when she is. If I can help with that, that’s all I want.

Though, maybe what’s best for her is me getting some sleep so I’m not spacey and distracted with her tomorrow.

Send 💖 and my muse will say something nice about you, the mun

    “Could’ve certainly picked a worse night for this,” Arthur commented, casting a glance upwards.

    The sun had dipped below the horizon, the sky cast in a blanket of stars as the orange glow of the fire he had built cast him and his companion in a warm light. A rabbit was slowly roasting over the flames, something he had hunted earlier for the coming night. Thankfully, he had been getting better with a bow. It had saved him the embarrassment of picking out shell casings from the meat in front of her, at the very least. He dropped his gaze back down, watching the fire for a few moments before he glanced toward her.

    “I’ve certainly had worse company ‘round a fire, too. Some folks are more likely t’ greet you with a barrel of a gun shoved against the back of your head, but...nah, y’ don’t seem the type. I know you been fightin’ things in different ways, though. Kid’s always goin’ on ‘bout how STRONG y’ are, and I can see why. Life...life’s got a funny way ‘f workin’ things out. Lots ‘f good things happenin’ out there, yet there’s a lotta bad happenin’ t’ folk who don’t deserve it. Whatever good’s out there, I know it’s due t’ come your way. Hell, I’d give ya some of mine--lord knows I ain’t done anythin’ t’ deserve it.”

    He let out a vaguely humorous huff, glancing back to the fire for a moment before meeting her gaze once again.

    “Guess what I’m tryin’ t’ say is that there’s a lot of people out there who are on your side. Can’t get too far in life without people y’ can trust, and you’ve proved time and again that you’re one of those who can be that for someone, and it’s a fool who don’t see that and won’t return it. Y’ deserve more than y’ get, much as that might not mean much from someone like me. Y’ got a lotta fight in y’, and you’ve never had a point a gun t’ prove it. Folks see that.”

Send 💘 and the mun will say something nice about your muse

I remember seeing Itsuki for the first time all those years ago, and jokingly I was like “who’s lost child is this?” lol

However, I can honestly say with my whole heart that I am so glad to have been introduced to her character. However, I can’t say much to how she is portrayed on her blog, as I am...completely unfamiliar from the media she is from. (And considering some of the horror stories I’ve heard about the fandom, I’m very content with hers being the only blog I follow from it lol.) Yet, I feel like I’ve known her character for so long through how often she’s appeared on my blogs and all the relationships I’ve built with her through my own characters. Good, bad, everything.

Itsuki is such a strong character in not just physical prowess, but strength of will and mind too. No matter what blog I am on, I can almost always trust her to be this force of optimism and child-like joy and curiosity. Even on a blog of mine starring a certain baptist, even in the face of someone who wouldn’t appreciate her for who she is, somehow Itsuki still manages to handle that in a way that is both absolutely a joy to write with and great to play off of.

I know I’ve said it before, but often I do find myself thinking about how a character would interact with her when I am making a blog. Not only is it me trying to make room for interaction, but it is also good for general character development. She has become such a staple on my blogs, which honestly rarely happens and for as long as it has with her.

Send 💕 and the mun will say something nice about you, the mun

Becka!!

Much like you wrote in this section for me, I am also sorry this took so long because I also wanted to make sure everything sounded right. Especially after coming off a long semester of university, I’ve been trying to come back into my writing. Lol Honestly, what can I say about you that I haven’t said a million times? I always say this, yet I know it bares repeating because I know everything I feel about you to be wholly the truth. You are such a great friend, and even when you’re not feeling like you are, or you are in the middle of a falling out, or stuck ruminating on something that didn’t work out with someone, I know for a fact that you have done your absolute best in that friendship. I know you have done nothing but show me support, love, and a deep kindness since the day I met you and I know I can say absolutely that you are one of my best friends.

Hell, I know even my family asks about you sometimes because I know I’ve mentioned having our late night talks often enough. Lol I know you have helped me through so much, even in things you may not even be aware of. Being able to write with you, knowing that you’re out there doing you and being awesome, it’s everything I could ask for in a friend. It’s 3 am while I’m writing this so idk if I’m rambling like mad here, but I have a lot of feelings for you. Lol Mostly, I’m just grateful. That you exist, that we’re as close as we are, for the conversations we do have. I love you a TON, and I hope you know that. I ALWAYS want you to know that, even in the deepest darkest pits you may fall in.

I am always happy to see you, to talk with you, to write with you. I love you, and you’re always in my thoughts and I hope nothing but the best for you and I’m always so excited and happy when I do see that happening for you.

[snarkwrites]

Abandoned amusement part for spooky locale prompt

Oooh, thank you for sending this. I love this idea, by the way. One thing came to mind when I got this and that was that I wonder how this would play out in the Walking Dead universe . So, hope you don’t mind! I hope you like this. I also hope it’s actually worth a shit. The idea came to me like this so I went all in with it. And I really, really enjoyed doing it. FYI, I almost went with AHS:Freak Show, but yeah..

I enjoyed doing this, again. Thank you for sending it.

[ send a character name / spooky scenario and location and I’ll write a drabble about it ]

WARNINGS:

uhh.. An OC of mine, Evie Grimes has been revamped. And she may or may not be a little out there in some ways... Like.. Too much. Idk. Lots of swearing. Mentions of gunshots. Me, dicking around with my own alternate universes and what actually took place on the series.... Again, lol.

TAGGING:

@chasingeverybreakingwave 

@kyleoreillysknee 

@rampagewriting 

@missjenniferb 

** off the top of my head, these are the only people I could think might even want a tag.. If you wanna be tagged in my writing on this blog pls see the tag doc link below. Or tell me.]

OTHER STUFF:

[ masterlist - about page - tag doc ] 

My lungs burned but I didn’t dare stop. A chain link fence stood between me and my doom and without thinking, I scaled the fence right as a decayed hand raised and very nearly got hold of the heel of my biker boot. I kicked free and tumbled down onto the other side.

I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t turn back. Give the finger to the horde of zombies I’d been outrunning. Probably wasn’t the smartest idea I’ve ever had, but... I did it. After turning away from the horde and moving quickly past a tattered and worn red and white striped tent close to me, I crouched down and started to work on reloading my gun. Once I got that reloaded, I reached behind me and produced my bow, making sure I still had a few arrows left in my quiver. Satisfied that I had my gun loaded and I hadn’t used all my arrows yet, I took a second or two to catch my breath.

The smell of smoke hung heavily in the air and I noticed it then... The flickering light over by an older model pop up camper. “What the hell?” the words came in a quiet gasp because I still hadn’t gotten my breath back completely yet, but curious as to who else might have taken cover in this empty amusement park, I made my way over to the source of light.

This was probably my first -and biggest, mistake. Before I even got halfway across the amusement park, I felt the cold metal of a gun barrel against the back of my skull.

“Where th’ hell you think yer goin, huh? You the reason them damn Walkers are lingerin outside the gate right now?” - that voice.. There was something so familiar about it. Take away the coldness and the anger in the tone and I’d almost swear on my life I’d heard the man currently speaking before. On numerous occasions.

“First of all, lower your fucking weapon.” I tried to stay calm as I said it. The man standing behind me chuckled. “You’re dumb if ya think I’m gon just put down my weapon. How do I know you ain’t with Rick’s group... Or that other sumbitch, Negan?”

And then, it clicked. Shane Walsh. My former childhood crush. My brother’s best friend and former partner at King County PD. ,, it can’t be. he died. Rick told you exactly what happened that night before you got separated...”

“I said... Lower your goddamn gun.” I repeated myself. “If you’d just let me turn around, you fucking idiot, you’d know exactly why I’m not the enemy. Now you on the other hand... You’re supposed to fucking be dead.”

I could hear him shuffle his feet. Clearing his throat. I didn’t have to be looking at him to know that my assessment shocked him. And yeah, parts of me were wondering if he’d put two and two together on his end of it all yet. Given what I remember about Shane, it’s highly doubtful. Man was kind of a meathead like that.

So it shocked me when he muttered in a quiet and shocked tone, “Evie? ‘At you?”

“Lower your gun and let me turn around and you’ll find out, meathead.” I retorted, tapping a heavy sole against the pavement and shivering at the chill in the air. He lowered the gun as I asked and I turned around, coming face to face with him.

Given what my brother told me before I went my seperate way from his little group, I had a lot of understandable concerns. So the first thing I did was to pull out my Bowie knife and hold it at his throat. He swallowed hard, eyeing me in confusion. “What th’ fuck?”

“Well, you’re alive when Rick saw you die with his own two eyes. Carl told me he shot you to make sure you didn’t come back. So... Until I know you’re not going batshit feral on me and attempting to eat my brains, I’m gonna have to keep this right here. You understand, yeah?”

“Evie, put the goddamn knife down. Carl didn’t finish me off, first of all. He tried but he couldn’t. I told ‘im to tell everybody that. Left and went my own way. Been stayin here, “ he swept his arm towards a particularly creepy clown mouth shaped entrance to a nearby funhouse and met my gaze to continue, “Since. Thangs were goin swell. Til you bought the fuckin Walkers right to my gate.”

He rolled his eyes in irritation and I fumed at him angrily. As I considered the story he presented, I held the knife exactly where I’d put it. A smirk formed as he suggested with a smug tone, “What, you want me to strip down and show ya I ain’t one of ‘em? Because darlin, I wouldn’t mind that one bit.”

“Oh I bet you wouldn’t, you colossal ass... But we have bigger problems right now. I wasn’t just running from those undead shitbags outside... I may or may not have pissed off that Negan guy you mentioned. I may or may not have set fire to some shit... Stolen some things. And he may or may not have been chasin me.”

“Woman, what the everlovin fuck?”

“Look. I went there, determined to get my goddamn revenge, okay? He... He killed someone I... I really cared about them. Then all that shit with my brother and his people and Negan.”

Headlights cut through the darkened night and I grumbled. I could hear Negan’s boys whooping and hollering and I gulped, taking a deep breath. “I’m gonna lower the knife. But if I even think you’re one of those zombies, Walsh, I swear to God. I’ll kill you in your sleep and I won’t think twice.”

“Fair enough... Guessin this ain’t because you’re feelin generous.”

“No. We’re about to be up to our asses in hillbilly dumb fucks. I can’t take ‘em alone.” I hated admitting I needed his help for anything, it left a sour taste in my mouth. 

And his smug smirk didn’t help at all, either.

“First ‘f all, let’s get to higher ground. There’s a control tower back around where you came crashin over the fence at. If we get higher, we can see ‘em. And all my guns and shit are up top.”

I nodded and I didn’t waste any time, crouching amongst the tents. I passed the battered bumper cars attraction and I froze in place when I heard the shuffle-groan-shuffle heading our way. My heart started to race and my stomach jumped clear into my throat. I couldn’t move, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it was move or get my ass eaten alive. I could hear the trucks getting closer too and that didn’t help. Gunfire was starting to fill the night. This was not a good situation, not by any stretch.

Shane ran up, grabbing me up by my hips, hauling me over his shoulders just as Negan’s vehicle came crashing through the back gate.

“Woman, you brought more trouble than y’ might be worth, y’ know that?”

“Less bitching, Walsh.. More getting us to higher ground.” I muttered as Shane stood me on my own feet and I scrambled up the stairs leading to a control tower. Once we were inside, Shane threw a heavy machine in front of the door and knelt down, loading up his Mossberg.

And outside, the shuffling and groaning got closer. The sounds of revving engines and the sound of bullets echoed through the night.

All I know is I’m not getting a good feeling about tonight, not even slightly.....

[crystalninjaphoenix]

There’s a Cat Now

A Switch AU Story

Welp idk how this happened but it did and it’s cute so here we are. A short drabble about Marvin, JJ, and a cat.

“I don’ recognize t’is part of town,” Marvin muttered, staring out the car window at the streets whizzing by. Not too intently though, he still wasn’t used to how fast cars went now. “Are you goin’ t’finally tell me what we’re doin’ here?”

“Hang on a moment, we’re almost there, just let me park.” JJ carefully maneuvered the small car into an empty space, turning it off with a twist of the keys. “Alright, here we are!”

Marvin looked out the front window at the store they’d parked in front of, reading the name emblazoned on the sign. He squinted. “Is...is t’is a pet store?”

“Surprise!” JJ smiled, accompanied by a joyful fluttering of fingers. “I wanted to get you a pet!”

Marvin blinked. “Why?”

JJ’s smile faltered a bit before he recovered his cheer. “Well, I thought it would help you adjust to this new...environment. And also...” His joyful expression fell once more, becoming serious. “I sometimes worry about you being home all by yourself. It might get lonely, you know, and I can’t keep asking the others to stop by even though they keep saying they’d be happy to.”

“Oh, so you’re saying t’at I can’ be alright wit’out you?” Marvin chuckled as JJ suddenly started stammering excuses. “It’s alright, I know what y’mean. Are you sure about t’is? Pets can be difficult to take care of. I’m okay wit’out one.”

“Well, yes, but also...small animals are cute.”

Another chuckle. “Alright. I s’pose I can’ change your mind once you’ve got it made up. Lead the way.”

JJ paused. “I’d hoped you be a bit more enthusiastic, to be honest.” Marvin didn’t answer, just shrugged. JJ exhaled a puff of air, then continued. “Well, we can’t do anything just sitting in the car. Come on.” He opened the door and stepped out, and Marvin soon followed.

The inside of the pet store was about what you’d expect, a main reception desk and walls covered in cute posters about the adoption process and how to take care of your animals. A few workers wearing blue shirts and nametags were milling about. One immediately walked up to JJ and Marvin. “Hi, can I help you?” she asked.

JJ looked over at Marvin, who gave an indifferent shrug. “Well, we’d like to adopt today,” JJ explained.

“Oh that’s wonderful! Do you know what type of animal you’re looking for? We have dogs, cats, rabbits, birds, snakes, hamsters and gerbils—”

“Cat,” Marvin jumped in before she could list every possible pet that existed. Yeah, cats could take care of themselves. He didn’t have to devote himself to that.

“I’m a cat person, myself,” the worker—her nametag read Kendra—said with a laugh. “If you would follow me through this door I can show you our cat kennels.

Marvin was expecting walls lined with cat carriers, and there were a few side rooms of that. But Kendra instead led them down a hall to a large room with wide windows that was entirely taken up by cat condos and trees, multilayered carpeted platforms with scratching poles and little houses to hide in. There were even a few mounted on walls. Around the perimeter of the rooms were benches for visitors and baskets of cat toys. Naturally, there were cats everywhere, of all shapes and sizes. Brown, white, black, tabby, calico, short-hair, long-hair, and every -hair in between. There were already some people inside interacting with them; what looked like a mom and two kids and an elderly couple.

“This is our playpen. Not all our cats are out right now, but this is a good place to get to know them,” Kendra explained. “If you don’t find one who appeals to you, I can take you into their actual kennels. We also have a selection of toys, beds, and other entertainment items, if you want to check those out.”

“Well,” JJ started, “we might not—”

“Jems, you can go look at those,” Marvin interrupted. “I’m goin’ t’stay in here for a while and see what happens.”

JJ gave him a look, but then said, “Okay, if you insist. Come get us if you need anything. Miss, if you can show me where that is...”

JJ left the room with Kendra, and Marvin immediately walked over and sat on a bench in a corner, near one of the cat trees. He watched the others in the room play with the cats, petting them and picking them up and dangling cat toys in front of their faces. That all seemed well and good, he supposed. But he didn’t really feel any urge to join in himself. So he just watched.

There was a slight movement in the corner of his eyes. He glanced over at the cat tree nearby. There was a pair of green eyes hidden inside the shadows of one of those little house-structures that sat on the tree. They were looking at him. Marvin stared at the eyes for a while more, then looked away, turning back to the room at large. He watched the pair of children entertain a black kitten with a laser pointer for a while. Weren’t they supposed to be bad luck? A cat like that would need a home, maybe if he had to get one he could pick that one up. But didn’t kittens require special care?

There was another movement. Marvin looked back over to the cat tree to see one had climbed out and hopped to the ground. It was mostly shades of brown and tan, with some darker brown stripes. Its muzzle and chest were white. Marvin presumed that its belly and paws were white as well, but given how it was sitting in that “loaf” position, and how its fur was extremely long and poofy, Marvin couldn’t exactly see its paws. Overall, it looked a bit like a burnt marshmallow. A marshmallow that was staring directly at Marvin.

Marvin, in turn, blinked at it. “What is it?” Obviously, the cat did not answer, and after it didn’t move for a while Marvin turned away again. But only a minute later, there was a warm, soft ball pressing next to his leg. He startled, and looked down to see the cat was now a ball of fluff sitting next to him on the bench. He raised an eyebrow. “What? D’you want attention? I can’ really tell, I don’ speak cat body language. I have trouble enough with the human kind.”

The cat kept staring at him with its big green eyes. After a moment, he gently set his hand on the cat’s back. When there was no reaction, he slowly began petting the length of it. The cat squinted its eyes, and after a while, started purring. “You wanted t’at? Well, I don’ mind. You’re very soft, a lot of fluff. Pleasant to touch. And you’re a han’some cat as well.” After a while of petting, Marvin stalled. He hesitated, then started petting the cat’s head.

With a stall in the purring, the cat opened its mouth wide and yawned. Then it shook itself, causing Marvin to sharply withdraw his hand, and climbed to its feet, stretching. Marvin thought it would leave next, but instead it padded even closer and clambered onto his lap, standing there. “Oh!” Marvin gasped, surprised. “Y’could warn a man first.”

The cat kept eye contact, sitting on his lap. And now that it was out of the “loaf” position, Marvin noticed something. He was right about the belly and paws being white, but also...while its left front leg was as expected, its right front leg ended in a stump. Marvin blinked. “Oh, I see. Y’have trouble in t’at area, then? Well, you’re not alone in the world, Mr. cat.” He reached out and scratched the cat below its ears. It squinted its eyes, then it stood up again, walked closer, and vaulted onto its two hind legs, placing its front paw on Marvin’s chest. “Hey! T’is is a nice jacket, don’ get your fur all over it,” Marvin chuckled, maintaining the ear-scratching.

Another slow blink from the cat. This time, followed by a soft sound, a small “mrrp.”

“Oh my goodness,” Marvin whispered, eyes wide. “T’at was the best sound.” His chest was suddenly light and bouncy inside. “Okay, you’re comin’ wit’ me.” He scooped up the cat, which didn’t wiggle at all as he carried it across the room, out the door of the playpen and into the hallway. From there, it was luckily only a short wandering before he found an open archway that led to a room full of various pet products, and as he walked inside he caught sight of JJ and the worker from before, Kendra. She was holding what a leash and talking to him. “—once they’re harness-trained you can take them outside for walks, like you can with dogs. But of course, training takes—” The worker glanced over as Marvin walked inside the room. Her eyes widened. “Sir, you can’t take the cats out of their kennel area!”

“Why not?” Marvin asked. “T’is one is doin’ fine.”

JJ looked over, and the moment he saw the bundle of fluff in Marvin’s arm his face lit up. “Did you find one you like, Marvin?”

“Well, I’d say t’is pretty kitty found me, act’ally.” Marvin bounced the cat a bit. “Walked up to me.”

JJ gasped, covering his open mouth with a hand. “That’s adorable,” he whispered.

Kendra seemed to have recovered from the shock of seeing a cat in an area it wasn’t supposed to be. “That’s Trio,” she said with a smile. “He’s a rescue. Got hit by a car, unfortunately, and a stranger brought him here. He’s a five-years-old Siberian, and he’s a pretty quiet cat. Liable to snuggle with you while you’re sitting, or even sleeping in bed. He’ll go after laser pointers and other toys, but not as enthusiastically as other cats.”

“T’at sounds wonderful,” Marvin said, distracted by the fact that the cat was now pressing his face into Marvin’s neck. “Trio’s an odd name, why is it?”

“Well, because of the...ah...you know...his, ah...situation...” Kendra seemed reluctant to continue, especially when Marvin’s head shot back toward her with a hard stare.

“I understan’ t’at people often name cats after t’eir features,” he said slowly. “But you didn’ see any problem with t’at particular name?” You know, like the only thing unique about this cat was his legs. Like that was the only thing about him that mattered.

“I didn’t name him,” Kendra hurried to say. “And it’s only temporary, if you adopt him, you can change it.”

JJ looked at Marvin, clearly trying to keep a calm expression. “Do you want to? Adopt him, I mean?”

Marvin looked down at the cat’s tiny face. “Y...yes,” he said, his voice a bit softer than normal. He looked back up at JJ’s excited face and frowned. “You knew this would happen, didn’ you?”

“That you’d get emotionally attached to one and love them? Well, I hoped it,” JJ said, a big grin on his face. “I know you were reluctant, but you’re reluctant about a lot of things, Marvin. A cat’ll be good for you.”

“Yes, yes, alright,” Marvin rolled his eyes. “Let’s finish t’is process so we can take him home already.”

About a half hour later, Marvin and JJ were back in the car. There was now a cat bed, a scratching post, and other cat materials in the back seat. Marvin, in the passenger seat, had a cat carrier on his lap with a burnt marshmallow-colored ball of fluff inside. The ball of fluff had a new green collar with a silver label, and was meowing intently at Marvin. “It’s only for a little while,” Marvin responded. “I t’ink we live close by. T’ough don’ ask me how we get home, I don’ know.” More meowing. “Calm down, Mister, it’ll be fine. I can give you a new toy to distract you, if ye want.”

“Did you just call the cat ‘Mister’?” JJ asked, amused, as he started the car.

“Yes, his name is Mr. Fluffington, and he deserves your respect,” Marvin said without even looking up.

“I see. Well, tell Fluffington it’s nice to meet him.”

“Mr. Fluffington, who do you t’ink you are?”

JJ laughed. “Yes, alright then, Mr. Fluff.”

Marvin looked back down at the newly christened Mr. Fluffington. “Jems says it’s nice to meet you. Ye’ll be seein’ a lot of him.” Fluffington meowed. Marvin grinned. “He likes you.”

“I’m glad. And I’m glad you like him too.”

“I wasn’ expectin’ it, if I’ll be honest.” Marvin unzipped the lid of the carrier just enough to reach inside. “But...I t’ink I’ll be happy to have him around.”

Mr. Fluffington nuzzled Marvin’s hand and he laughed. JJ smiled as he watched. He knew this would be a good idea. These two seemed like they would get along perfectly.

[pl-dubois]

hey love. i'm gonna say angst: #8, fluff: #4, and misc: #12 & 16 i get that's a lot so if you don't wanna do em you are under no obligation to ❤️

hey, it’s the anon again :) idk if you already knew what boys you wanted to write about [if you did then don’t listen to me, do what you want, seriously!!!] but if you were looking for requests for boys too then hartsy or patty would be 👌

Angst #8: “Is that blood?” “…..No?”

You knew something was off the moment you opened the door to find TK on the other side.

“Oh, hey Y/N!” he said cheerfully, standing to the side so you could step inside.  “I was just heading out, had to make sure Patty got home alright. I’ll see you guys later.”

With his words, Travis took his leave and you closed the door behind him, a little confused by what he had said.  Why had he needed to make sure Nolan got home safe?  It was still early in the night, the game hadn’t been over long enough for them to get really wasted.  Almost immediately, concern overtook your mind.

Making your way to your bedroom, you pushed the half-closed door open to find your boyfriend sitting on the bed, checking his phone.

“Hey, babe,” he said with a smile when he looked up. “I was just about to call you.  How was dinner? I missed you tonight.”

Instead of acknowledging his words, you phrased your own question.  “Are you okay?”

His smile faltered as he responded, sighing, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Why was Travis here then?”

“We both agreed it would be better if he drove me home instead of me driving myself.  He was just making sure I got up here okay.”  His mumbling made it clear that he was reluctant to tell you, but his tone was the obvious indicator that he didn’t want you to worry.

“What do you mean, got up here okay?”

By not receiving a response from your boyfriend, your apprehension got the better of you.  You stepped towards him to examine his face, reaching out to touch him gently, but he quickly turned his head away from you when he realized what you were doing.

“Babe-” he started in protest, but you had already caught a glimpse of what you hated most about the sport he played.

“Is that blood?” you asked, taking a step back and crossing your arms.

“…..No?”

“Nolan James!” you exclaimed, moving back in towards him.  You took his face in your hands, carefully yet firmly, and assessed the damage that had been done.  He had a few small lacerations on the side of his head and near his temple, although to your dismay, when you took a closer look, you noticed he also had a set of nasty stitches criss-crossing across his ear.  “Baby, what happened…?”

“Took a puck to the head,” he mumbled, looking a little guilty.  “I’m sorry-“

You shook your head, successfully cutting his unnecessary apology off while you ran your fingers through his soft hair, scratching his scalp with your nails gently. “Are sure you’re okay, Nol? I’m just worried.”

“I know,” he sighed, reaching to pull you closer by the back of your thighs to stand between his.  “And yeah, I think so. My head hurts a little, but other than that I’m okay.”

You just nodded, pulling Nolan’s head to your chest as you hugged him tightly.  His hands were warm on your legs and the feeling brought your head back down to reality; you took a shaky breath as you were suddenly overcome with a feeling of love and gratefulness.  His injury could’ve been so much worse, you were lucky all he got were a couple of stitches and placed on concussion protocol.  

Pulling away from your embrace, Nolan brought a hand up to brush against your cheek, wiping away the few tears that had gathered there unknown to you.  You leaned into his touch, sighing softly.

“I’m okay, really,” he offered you a small smile of reassurance.  “Head injuries always look worse than they actually are.”

“That’s very true,” you nodded, a small smile forming on your face; relieved wasn’t even close to describing the emotions you were feeling.  “I’m just glad you’re okay, Nol.”

“Believe me, I am too,” he laughed softly, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.  Catching his hand as he pulled it away, you pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist.  Using the grasp you already had on him, Nolan pulled you in close and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. 

“I love you so much,” you sighed happily, letting your hands rest on his shoulders. 

“I love you more,” he returned with a grin, stroking your sides lovingly. 

“Debatable, but I’ll let it slide this time.”

Nolan’s soft laughter at your response made your heart soar.  Kissing his head softly, you pulled away from his embrace. 

“I know you’re probably exhausted,” you said, making your way slowly to the bedroom door, “so you go to bed.  I’ll grab you some ice and set alarms for every three hours.”

Settling back against the pillows, Nolan’s eyes were filled with absolute adoration.  “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you, babe.” Blowing him a quick kiss, you disappeared from the room. 

______

Fluff #4: “Have you always been this beautiful?” 

Falling in to bed with Carter had always been easy, but it was getting back out of it that was harder.  The two of you had agreed on the whole friends with benefits thing ages ago, and you had even been adamant about no strings attached. However, that definitely didn’t stop you from developing feelings for him along the way. 

Your latest rendezvous had brought you to Carter’s apartment and you found yourself staring at the ceiling after Carter had fallen asleep, unable to calm your wandering thoughts.  The sex had been amazing as always, you’d for sure feel the after effects of it in the morning, but you wondered for how much longer you could continue hooking up with Carter while also keeping your emotions at bay.  You could’ve stayed lost in your thoughts for hours, but a feeling of being watched stirred you from the depths of your mind.  Rolling onto your side toward Carter, you were met with his green eyes gazing at you.  A warm hand came to rest on your bare thigh as you struggled to find words.

“I thought you were- you’re awake?” you managed to get out, brain still slightly foggy from the post-sex haze you were in.

Carter nodded, beginning to trace shapes with gentle fingers across your skin.  “And so are you.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” you mumbled truthfully.  He didn’t need to know the exact details on why couldn’t rest.  

“Me neither,” he replied softly, his hand moving up your body to continue his soft touches on your arm.  As he spoke, you noticed something in his eyes; it wasn’t lustful like it usually was when the two of you were together, it was something that you had never seen before from Carter.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you questioned, laughing softly.

“Like what?” His hand stilled as he moved to brush the hair out of your face; it took everything in you to not completely melt into his touch.  “God… Have you always been this beautiful?”

“Carter-” you started only to be cut off by your friend’s soft lips against your own.  Too shocked for a moment to recognize what was happening, you quickly reciprocated and drew closer to his body.  The kiss was different than the rough, rushed ones you had shared before in the heat of passion; it was gentle and full of unspoken words you couldn’t quite decipher.

When the two of you finally broke apart, he looked almost a little guilty.  

“Look, I know we said we wouldn’t do feelings with the whole friends with benefits thing, but,” he paused to let out a soft laugh to himself, “I really like you.”

Taken aback at his words, it took you a moment to find yours.  “Well that’s a relief… I’ve been in love with you for years.”

Dissolving into laughter, the next kiss the two of you shared was enough to prompt Carter into rolling himself back on top of you.  You easily fell back into your old habits; though this time, instead of just another drunk hookup with hidden emotions, there was love and care in every caress of your bodies. 

______

Misc. #12: “Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.” 

Why you agreed to go on an early morning run with your boyfriend, you’d never know. 

You knew going into it that keeping up with Carter was going to be a challenge; he was a professional athlete and you were lucky if you found the motivation to go to the gym.  However, even though you knew what you were getting yourself into, it was still somehow a surprise to you when your body started screaming for oxygen and water about half a mile in. 

“Can we please stop running?” you managed to gasp out.  “I think I’m dying.”

Chuckling softly, Carter slowed his pace until you were stopped on the side of the road where you had been running.

“You okay?” he asked, a small teasing smile threatening to show on his face. Not having enough air to respond, you gave him a glare that spoke for you.

Resting your hands on top of your head to help open up your chest more, you finally managed to stop gasping for air. 

“I cannot BELIEVE you talked me into running with you,” you sighed, shaking your head.  “God, I’m so mad at you right now. It’s almost like you plan-“ You stopped as Carter laughed again, finally realizing that he had played you like a fool. 

“What can I say?” he shrugged with a grin. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Carter!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands down exasperatedly. “Are you serious right now?!”

“See, now you’re just proving my point.”  The grin on your boyfriend’s face grew as he pulled you closer.

Smacking lightly at his chest, you whined, “Stop I’m all gross and sweaty. And I’m still mad at you.”

“Don’t care.”  And with his words, he picked you up, easily throwing you over his shoulder as he started walking again. 

“Oh my God- Babe! Put me down!” you shrieked, not able to help the laughter that escaped your mouth. 

“Not until you’re done being mad at me.” Carter’s laughter joined your own after pressing a kiss to your thigh. 

“Guess I’m gonna be here awhile then.”

______

Misc. #16: “YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!”

Going dress shopping wasn’t at the top of either of your lists, but it had to be done—at least that’s what Nolan kept telling himself while waiting for you to show him your latest discovery. 

Looking at yourself in the dressing room mirror, you weren’t really sure what to think. Sure the dress was gorgeous, but it was also much more revealing than you were used to, not to mention more scandalous than what Nolan was used to seeing you in. Taking a deep breath, you emerged from the dressing room to show the garment to your awaiting boyfriend.  When he looked up from his phone to take in the sight of you, you couldn’t quite place the reaction on his face. 

“Be honest,” you said slowly, “how do I look in this dress?”

Setting his phone down completely, the next words out of your boyfriend’s mouth were anything but PG. 

“That dress looks amazing on you.” Sitting on the edge of his chair and lowering his voice, he continued, “I can’t wait to peel it off your gorgeous body and take you apart with my-“

“Shush!” you hissed, leaping over to where he was, your eyes wide in surprise.

“Tongue.” He finished his sentence proudly with a cocky smirk.  As red as your face was from his comments, the color left by your hard smacks to his arm would rival it. 

“YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!” Nolan laughed, trying to avoid your blows. 

“We. Are. In public, Nolan.” You spoke through gritted teeth, not wanting to draw anyone’s attention to you, stilling your hands. Taking a second to glance around, luckily for you, you found that no one was near you to hear his smart remark. 

“I thought you were into that.” A wolfish grin played on his features while his hands made their way to your ass.

“Nolan Patrick!” you exclaimed before quickly dropping the volume of your voice again.  “Not here! Let me buy this dress and then you can do all the things you said you would when we get home.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky swear, baby.”

[manawhaat]

What's your best vacation memory? ❤️

Oof… there are a couple that stand out from my childhood but I have to go with the Vegas/Pioche trip I took with my dad and my middle sister in 2015.

This is FUCKING LONG so if you feel like reading about it for 6 hours then there’s more under the cut and I’ll throw in some photos at the bottom because this trip really did just make me so happy. 

I had joined a photography scavenger hunt group and participated in a couple of rounds (and got some rad photos!) when they decided to hold a meet up. It was held in Vegas and they had classes and photo shoots and group trips out to different places in the surrounding area. I decided to go and booked a hotel room fro the last day of the meet up, but then my mom died. The meet up was about 2 months after that so when I was trying to figure out if I should still go, etc, my sister and my dad said they’d go with me.

On the way there we drove through the desert because we always do and my sister and I played the Alphabet game. It was the most intense game she or I have ever played. We were on x by the time we got into the middle of no man’s land and I managed to get it on a random XTRA semi truck that was parked in the middle of a salt flat. She got it as soon as we got back onto the main road on a car licence plate that was ‘xmasgft’. We went back and forth getting one only for the other to get the same letter seconds later. It was crazy. I was on Z when she was on Y and at one point she started saying ‘oh shit oh fuck oh shit’ and I started to panic thinking we were about to get into a car accident or something… when she stopped panicking I asked her what her problem was and apparently we’d passed a billboard for Zoomanity and she was panicking that I was gonna win. Her panicking distracted me and I didn’t get the Z. She ended up getting her Y and immediately after I found another Z on a sign that said ‘construction zone’ and it was the best ‘fuck you’ and the most victorious win of, like, anything that I’d experienced up until that point. It was fantastic! 

When we got into town I never did make it to the meet ups lol. I saw one person I know from the group while walking out of the hotel, but that was about it. I didn’t really have it in me to branch out and go to the meet up functions by myself so I didn’t. Instead I hung out with my family. We went zip lining over Freemont street and walked around, we went to the Mob Museum (which was fascinating), we did the Mandalay Bay Aquarium, and went out to the Hoover Dam. I’d never been and it was really cool, it was a gorgeous day and it we took a bunch of cute pictures there.

We’d all made a pact that we were going to do the controlled free-fall that they offer at the Stratosphere but when we got up to the top and watched a few people do it we all collectively noped out lol. We ate at this restaurant near the Stratosphere called The Peppermill that is FUCKING FANTASTIC. The food was good but the ambiance. Holy shit. It was like Vegas in the early 80s threw up in there. It was so good. Just neon lights and mirrors and tacky carpet and too many potted plants. The waitress was your classic sassy waitress, which only added to the experience, and my sister ordered the ‘mammoth pancakes’. It came with two and the plate weighed like 4 pounds! 

We did a few other things but I remember just being in a good mood the whole trip. I had gotten a throw pillow with Dean’s face on it before the trip and I took it with us so we could sleep in the car comfortably and I remember taking pictures with the Dean pillow like everywhere we went and it became a funny sort of adventure with him. I was also talking to a guy on my dating app that I was like, legit in love with. Everything about him felt so perfect and I remember telling my sister that if he magically transported to Vegas while we were still there that I’d 100% marry him.

This was also the first time being in Vegas since I’d turned 21 (that Vegas trip was a fucking nightmare!) and this really made up for it. I got drunk downstairs at the hotel and won like 80 bucks on a machine, which was the most I’d ever won at that point, so we had to stop and play that machine at every casino we saw it at. My sister and I had also been on a Ghost Adventures kick before that and there’s a very specific sound that one of their devices makes and the elevator at the hotels all made that sound, so we were constantly making it and giggling at it. All in all, it was just a lot of fun and a lot of like, solid bonding and enjoyment of the experiences we were having and who we were with.

Keep in mind, ^^^^THAT’S ALL STILL JUST VEGAS! ^^^

Since we’d been on the Ghost Adventures kick, we stayed in Vegas for a couple of days and then drove out into the desert toward Pioche, Nevada. The Ghost Adventures Crew had done a paranormal hunt there at the Overland Hotel that is notoriously haunted (rooms 10 and 14, specifically).

I remember the drive being a nice clear day and the type of desert started to shift a little from what we’re all used to so there was some cool scenery. Now, we were on this trip in like April so I packed for desert weather in April, but what they failed to mention to me was that Pioche was in the HIGH desert, which didn’t really mean anything to me until we made it around a ridge and saw fucking snow!

We pulled over and played in it a little bit and then finished the drive and, lo and behold, it got more snowy. So when we finally arrived in Pioche I had to walk my happy ass through snow in leggings and sandals and a tank top with only a light jacket. And the next day, I only had shorts or a different pair of equally as thin leggings! It was terrible, but in a funny way.

The town of Pioche is fucking TINY! The population is literally barely over 1,000 and even when we were there we couldn’t figure out how it even held that many people! So we checked into the hotel and managed to get room 10 (one of the most haunted ones) and walked around. It was an old mining town so we checked out the remains of the tram, we went down to the Boothill Cemetery that had wicked old graves that were like, really old western graves of people who’d died in like the early 1800′s in saloon shootouts.

We had food at the only diner in town and while we were walking up a truck drove by goin’ extra slow. The driver was a good ole country boy- he was super hot- and in the back of his truck bed were…. idk, 15 or so fucking BEAGLE PUPPIES! I fell in love, I legit chased his truck down the street lol. It was like, the most amazing thing I’d ever seen.

So we hung out in the tiny place and when night fell we went downstairs to the bar at the hotel and hung out. We talked to one of the hotel staff who actually appeared in the episode of Ghost Adventures and we talked about the guys on the show and she was just really down to earth and funny.

Then, I got shitfaced.

I remember sitting at the high table watching my dad play pool with some locals while my sister was talking to some guy who’d also been on the show (and was a regular at the bar). At that point, I was really drunk and really lovey, so I decided to drunk dial everyone I knew to tell them I love them. Only, I didn’t get reception in the hotel, so I walked my happy ass out into the freezing night, and kept walking almost two blocks down to a little bench outside of the run down fire station and sat outside for over an hour, in the snow, in leggings and sandals, calling everyone I knew to tell them how much I loved them.

My sister finally came looking for me and dragged me back to the hotel while I was still on the phone, and I was able to make one more call to a friend. Drunk!me thought it would be a GREAT idea to finally confess that I had a crush on him and wanted to make out, so I told him that, and when he asked ‘uh, what?’, my dumb ass said it again, clearer and louder so he wouldn’t miss it!

Before he could respond my sister figured out what I’d just said and snatched my phone away and hung up. We went back inside to get my dad and then we walked up the street to the other bar in town and while we were walking my dad started throwing snowballs at us, so I fuckin’ took off. In my entire life I’ve never run as fast as I did that night lol. I ran so fast that  only stopped after my drunk brain could register the flash of neon I’d passed. So I turned around and was a few buildings away from the bar and when I looked for my sister and dad, they were still at the other end of the street a good 2 football fields away!

We went in and played shuffleboard and hung out. They paid the bartender not to give me anymore drinks and I then crawled on the bar and tried to convince him to give me more lol. I ended up going to the bathroom and the signs didn’t say ‘men’ and ‘women’, they said ‘John’ and ‘Mary’ and I freaked out because, Supernatural, duh!

When we left the bar later that night, with me even more drunk than before, my dad started throwing snowballs again and we ran down the street. There was a kind of boardwalk that we were running on and we didn’t realize it ended with a staircase so I jumped into the road and ran down the asphalt but my sister ended up, in a full sprint, leaping off the end of the boardwalk and crashing into me. She was so graceful and when she was in the air it was like she was  in slow motion. So when she landed we were howling with laughter and then we rounded the building and there was a big ass dog right in our faces! I freaked out just because I was shocked but it ended up being friendly and sauntered off, but drunk me was already laughing at my sister’s majestic leap so I started laughing even harder that I’d gotten so scared.

I ended up peeing my pants and we went back into the hotel and I tripped going up the stairs, resulting in more laughter and more pants peeing. We finally got to the room and I changed and we went to sleep. The room (and hotel, itself) were pretty creepy, and because we knew it was haunted I was already on high alert. They went to sleep but when I tried to, and every time I closed my eyes, I could feel someone standing at the side of the bed staring at me. I kept smelling and feeling little gusts of wind in my face, as if someone was sitting by the bed staring me down and was smoking a cigarette/cigar and blowing the smoke in my face. It was incredibly unnerving because it didn’t stop not once all night, so I ended up staying up all night watching tv, hoping I didn’t see anything or feel anything else.

The next day when I showered I couldn’t shower fast enough because it felt like someone was watching me shower and we thanked the hotel staff and left. I slept on the drive home and at one point when I woke up my sister asked if I’d heard from my friend. I said no and was really confused and then she asked if I remembered calling anyone last night and then it all struck me and I was mortified the rest of the ride home. When I got home I decided to just be straight up so I texted him saying that I’d meant what I said and was open to either going that route, if he was also interested in me, or just staying friends. He ended up ignoring me for weeks and I had to talk to a mutual friend about it. Now it’s just water under the bridge, but a hilarious memory. I even wrote a fanfic about the whole trip to Pioche! (I think some of the details in the fic are wrong/exagerated, and I’m not totally clear on some of the details that I’ve recounted here as they differ from the details at the end of that fic, but it’s all as accurate as I can remember without asking my sister for more clarification.)

All in all every part of the trip was just FUN. We didn’t ever have a moment where things went wrong, we didn’t have bad experiences. We weren’t stressed. It was exactly what my soul needed after spending years watching my mom battle with cancer. It was a bonding retreat and everything about it just soothed me and filled me with so much joy and the memories I have of that trip will last a lifetime.

[vcngttpt-a]

ALL OF THEM. @mun meme ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

@deceptivetreat || mun q&a                      

                            ━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

||you are. the bane. of my existence. 

☯ Is there a muse you’ve always wanted to play?

hmm ig i’ll go with canon for this one because i have many ocs, but uh i really wanna write for seto from fragile dreams. i used to have an ask blog for him back in the day but that died quickly seeing as how dead the fandom is so- but i do love him with all my heart and i would love to be able to someday write him or something

♣ Is there an author(s) that you look up to with your writing skills?

rick riordan, marissa meyer and michelle rowen. i’ve read their books throughout middle school and high school and i still find myself going back to reread their books because i just love how their words flow as well as how engaging their plots are. i honestly hope i can reach rick riordan levels of skill whenever i get around to finishing my own novel!

♧ Is there an RP partner(s) that you credit for becoming a better writer?

one would have to be an old rp friend that we sadly don’t talk to anymore since she was the first one i started writing with a lot more back in high school as well as the one who would give me advice on how to improve and just be patient with me when i go stuck with writing our threads and also mikey (@snw-cnvs) since he also supports me outside of rp’ing to get me to write actually fiction drabbles. i just wish i could finish them lmao

♥ What’s your favorite ship with your muse?

all of my ships with mikey no i’m joking lolol i really love my ship with haneul because i’ve had him for two years now and he’s grown a lot because of his ship. he’s someone whose never believed that love was real and sure their relationship is a little rocky, but they both don’t really have the proper understanding for love until waaaay later. i also really love how whenever he’s with obe, he’s able to pull out this different side of haneul, someone whose so overconfident and quick to words, becomes at a loss for words and questioning himself a lot. i just love them best otp 

♡ Would you ever write a poly ship?

sure, i’d be down for it as long as our muses have the right chemistry as well as if i know both muns pretty well and if they’re also comfortable with it.

♦ What’s an AU that you’ve always wanted?

answered

♢ What’s an AU that you think just won’t work with your muse?

any au that causes too much of a shift in my muses’ personality. i’m usually willing to try any au but if it becomes too much that my muse basically becomes a different person i don’t like it. 

♔ What’s your opinion on teacher/student verses? Do you have any of these as threads?

eeeeh i dont really care, but i work at a school so the thought makes me like uncomfy because i don’t wanna think about work lolol but its also like fiction and i’m able to tell the difference between fiction and reality so yea. also no i don’t have any threads like that

♕ Do you like magic!anons? Why or why not?

not really. it became too much of a thing to deal with back in the day. i just like the simple things

⚜ What is the best time to write for you? Why?

nighttime because i’m fuckin nocturnal even tho i have a day job rip my sleep schedule and ever growing eye bags

★ What type of historical AU would you like to do one day?

Victorian era, or the prohibition era don’t ask me why i like them i don’t even know myself i just know i wouldn’t mind

☆ What type of fantasy AU would you like to do one day?

all of them. i’m a huge slut for fantasy in general. its one of the best things i love the most. 

☄ Do you think your muse would have liked going to high school sports games? Do you or did you go to high school sports games?

haneul: no, he’s not into those things, but also he was home schooled until he went to college

eiji: he used to play soccer in high school so yea

reese: do magic tournaments count? cause if so then yes

sage: no, i was the loser who hung out at the library with friends to sit around and read books and manga 

☾ Do you like writing smut? Why or why not?

okay, if it wasn’t obvious i used to rp back in middle school through high school and on tumblr and i have done my fair share of the sin once i turned 18. nowadays i’m pretty much like eh, but ig i could try again if the need arises, but it also depends on my mood ig? i’d have to write it with someone i’m completely comfortable writing with but also even then it’s gotten to the point i’m more like ig we can just fade to black yea? 

tbh i feel i got all the urges to write sin outta me when i was on my old en blog lmao i had so many smut threads on there i’m ashamed 

☽ Do you like writing angst? Why or why not?

yes god i love being able to break my muses because it’s so fun. like yea it also hurts because that’s my kid i’m hurting but i’m okay with that. it’s just something that adds realness to them because the world sure as fuck ain’t rainbow and sunshine

☼ What’s an FC that you’re dying to use? Why?

i have these icons that i squirreled away for awhile now and i really wanna use them but my brain is too dead to figure out who he could work for. like he was my first thought for reese but he didn’t really give off the right reese vibes so maybe i’ll dig around my oc bin and see who looks the closest to him 

or i cave and just make a brand new oc for him

☀ What’s an FC that you desperately want to play with? Why?

i’m not really picky about what fc write with tbh 

☁ What’s an FC that you refuse to play with? Why?

not really refuse to play - more like i’m eh with. if only because en used to be my main chara for a long time like, i was so deep into the magical boy lore that a good chunk of my headcanons became canon. but also it just…leaves a bad taste in my mouth even more so since the drama that happened in that fandom left me filled with fear and hesitance to rp for a good chunk like before. it just brings back bad memories and i thought i was moving past it when i was thinking about using him for reese but alas. some memories don’t leave

maybe one day i’ll either get to write en again or i can use his face as fc but we’ll see

☂ How does your muse spend a rainy day? How do you spend a rainy day?

haneul: he loves the rain and he’ll spend it either under an umbrella or just sitting there in the rain just letting it wash away his thoughts and fears for a little bit 

eiji: he’d spend it indoors playing a video game or playing with seto

reese: he’d prob be dumb and splash in the puddles because he likes to enjoy the little things. other times he’ll just ignore it and stay indoors either hanging with friends or studying and practicing his magic for his school’s next tournament 

sage: i like to spend it just lookin out my window with my kitty on my chest. i love the sound of it against the sidewalk and streets. 

☃ If your muse was cartoonized, what would their FC be? Why?

uh idk how to answer this tbh 

☺ What’s a character that you desperately want your muse to play with? Why?

toshi @ haneul *stares at @snw-cnvs* and also reese @ momo *stares at @deceptivetreat* but also i just want everyone to bother my boys i love them so much. 

☹ What’s a character that you refuse to play with? Why?

idk i’m pretty open for any character

☢ Are there any ships that you would like to write for one day? Any that you wouldn’t?

uh dunno. i’m open for any ships that have the right chemistry tbh just not haneul since he’s already taken

☣ What’s one thing that will make you drop a thread?

useless drama and or if i can’t seem to figure out where the thread is going for our muses. like if they don’t clash well i don’t wanna give tryin to grasp at straws. but i’m always down to try again unless it ends up the same than welp

♨ What’s a muse that you wished had lasted, but didn’t?

aaaah my supernatural brothers!!! i love them so much but they didn’t last and i’m not sure if i’m goin to add them on here or leave them in the void. 

❀ Do you like reblog karma? Why or why not?

i’m gonna sound old but i don’t know what that is hold on. *googles* oh okay yea no. that seems like too much pressure to do and i have too much anxiety to do that i’m sorry. 

✿ Do you have a mun FC? If so why did you choose that as your FC, and if not who would you choose?

yes. because i have so many icons it’s not even funny, but also before i got my  hair cut she looked the most like me and also i thought it’d be fun to be able to tell the difference between me and my boys 

see, back in the day i was the loser who would make ooc posts that included my muses and it was easy to have mun fc so you could do that and it was a lot fun, but it’s somethin i won’t so nowadays.

♪♩♫ Does music inspire your muse? What’s one song on your playlist that reminds you of your muse?

haneul: mirror part II

any of weiss’ songs work for him tbvh

eiji: rpg

reese: havent found one that works for him yet, so come back later

✂ Do you like to format your posts? Why or why not?

yes it’s all for the aesthetic 

✆ Other than RPing, what’s a hobby of yours?

i love to write and draw. lmao sometimes i don’t write drafts so i can write more of my novel or little drabbles that’s for friends. 

✉ Do you RP on any other platforms?

nope

❤ Have you or are you currently in love?

answered

❥ Has something ever happened for you to hate a ship? Why?

uh nope can’t say there has been.

ツ Who has been your favorite muse to play so far? Why?

haneul, eiji, lifty and shifty, and en

han and eiji because they’re both my ocs and it’s so much fun to see them develop and grow their characters more. 

en because i was able to write a lot of different aus, headcanons, and just develop a canon character until he pretty much just became my own character

lifty and shifty were my roots. i started in the htf fandom and had so much fun writing those lil shits. it was just my go fuckin crazy shit. i still have their icons and their old blog is still up and i do kinda miss them some days.

回 Which muse was the worst to play? Why?

i used to have an oc named harley who was a living doll and i haha came to hate him because i made him around the same time i created haneul and i always loved haneul because i put a lot of effort into him and not much in harley and i got annoyed and jealous that back then everyone seemed to love harley more him. so i pretty much tossed him to the curve adfhsdkfjh

sorry harley but you were also hard to write because you were too sweet and cliche for me 

✘ People come in a group. If I were to look on your blog, who would I see you interacting with the most?

@snw-cnvs and @deceptivetreat

ღ Do you have a personal blog? Do you share it with your followers or do you keep it private?

nah i haven’t used tumblr in years until now. i do have one but i don’t use it so idc it’s called @shouyoutheworld but again i don’t use it it’s…v old

▼ Do you keep your character in character even if they are one of the worst people in the world?

yes. what’s the point of writing and creating said character if you’re gonna sugar coat them?

▽ Why did you create this muse?

haneul: i wanted an oc who was really jaded and brat. i wanted to see him grow into something more even if its difficult 

eiji: i pretty much wanted a muse that i could dump all my useless game infos on

reese: i wanted a witch oc who had a rival that they both hated their guts for and eventually fall in love I’M SO RR Y THAT’S REALLY WHY HE WAS MADE FORGIVE ME BUT NOW I DEVELOPED HIM A LOT MORE FOR RP’ING PURPOSES BUT Y’KN OW

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life