#pta king

[pickledclowns]

Having girls like you back is actually the best thing anyone could have happen to them actually I think even counting babies being born

[glacial-art]

The Sorceror is having a great time

Seven Part Pact is a cool ttrpg about wizards (by @.jdragsky) and you should play it rn

[strawberrycola]

hank hill would stand up for furry kids in the local schools.

[marisatomay]

need y’all to talk about me like this

[icewindandboringhorror]

sleepy mr baby + other random misc images

[singles-bar]

[dcxdpdabbles]

I found and read this cute story on AO3, about Frostbite being Danny's legal parental guardian. In the story Bruce Wayne runs into Frostbite (in his full yeti glory no disguise) who is setting up for school bake sale. Got me thinking about what if Danny's past rogues took turns filling in and doing parental stuff especially at school functions. Like Frostbite does the bake sale, Pandora shows up for his games, Ghostwriter goes to all of the PTA meetings, Clockwork goes to teacher meetings, so on and so forth.

The 43rd Annual Gotham Academy Bake Sale by Faeriekit

Ohhh, that sounds good! I'll get it a read when I have some time. Thank you for the rec!

Danny Fenton is one of the lucky few who have a very involved household. His various family members would always sign up for any school event the boy needed support in. It didn't mean that the boy won everything, but as a teacher for nine years, Emily has come to learn how much it mattered to just have someone show up.

She had seen students whose entire faces light up after spotting someone in the crowd in the same amount she saw a student's hope crumble after they scanned the room.

Danny was a polite young man, a bit on the shyer side, but kind and not a troublemaker, his previous school had her believe. If anything, he seemed to struggle with fitting in, but no students blatantly disliked him.

The general opinion of Danny matched, as her students would say, "I know him from class, but I don't really talk to him. He seems cool though".

Maybe that's why so many people were supposed by his family to march into the auditorium during Danny's talent show. Seeing him wave at the row before starting his gymnastic act had been such a surprise.

Now, Gotham wasn't a close-knit community, not with the size of their city and the millions of people living within it, but everyone would have noticed that Danny was adopted.

After all, he was the only one that wasn't glowing or a large humanoid animal. They cheered the loudest among the crowd; uncaring Danny got bronze- having lost to Joey's tapping dancing for second and Damian's spectacular multi-instrumental cover of a meme song for first place- and Danny beamed back at them.

Gotham was known for not being meta-friendly, but that was only due to a few mean people who shouted the loudest on media outlets. Many of Emily's students were meta, had family that were meta, or knew someone meta. It wasn't a common enough trait one would encounter a meta on every outing, but you would see them in Gotham well enough.

Everyone knew, but no one said it out loud. In the same way, she knew which students' parents were in the country illegally but worked harder than anyone else. Saying anything would help the cops, or worse, the rich running Gotham.

Even the most prejudiced Gothamite would rather be spat on then give them aid. And those who were so prejudiced to help the poor man's enemies, well, Emily has lived here long enough to know they vanished rather quickly. The smart ones kept their mouths shut.

No one could forget what happened to that guy who accidentally insulted Penguin. His grandmother had been an illegal immigrant on his mother's side.

No one messed with that side of the family.

"Hello, Mrs. Jackson." Danny's adoptive father, Dr. Frostbite said, ducking down to avoid banging his head on the door. On one of his shoulders was a box of hotdog wieners; on the other were multiple bags of bread. "I'm here for my snack bar shift."

Emily tilts her head back to look the Yeti in the eye. He had been shocked the first time they met, but she could admit that Dr. Frostbite was a relatively gentle and wise soul. "Welcome aboard. The girls are just about to take the field. You can put that down by the crock pot over there."

The mountain of white fur brushes by her with the grace of a king as Dr. Frostbite does as she says. There were no customers at the window, so she leaned on the counter and offered him a smile. "Did you enjoy the game?"

"Yes. I was saddened our team did not win, but Danny hit a home run." Dr. Frostbite's sharp smile could have been frightening if he wasn't oozing parental pride. "I caught it all on video."

Emily opens her mouth to respond when a hand lands loudly on the counter with a loud crack. Her heart leaps, and she looks into Danny's Ember. She isn't one of Emily's students, though she does appear to be a teenager in appearance.

You know. If it wasn't for her hair made of fire. Or her blue skin. Or her glow.

"I set a boy on fire," She announces with a cackle.

"That's so?" Dr. Frostbite gently rips open the box, taking out the hotdog packages. With one large claw, he rips a hole into it and lets the few weiners slide into the crockpot with a gentle splash. "What did he do?"

"Tried to slap me on the butt." She huffs, rolling her eyes, but her smirk doesn't lose an edge of smugness.

"Well done." Dr. Frostbite praises placing the lid back on. It always surprised Emily to see such careful actions from the large creature. "I assume you did so out of Pandora's line of sight?"

"Naturally. I don't want her lecturing me in front of the whole community." Ember scoffs, crossing her arms. Behind her, the top of Pandora's head can be seen swinging side to side over the dugout, keeping an eye on the ball.

She was the best volunteer referee because even the parents knew not to shout insulting things when she was present. Emily doesn't think she has had such peaceful games in a long while. Hopefully, Danny will try out again for baseball next year so the woman can return.

"Oh hey, you're Danny's English teacher, right? Mrs. Johnson?" Ember asks, leaning on the counter to give Emily a curious look.

When the blond nods, holding out her hand for a shake. "That's right. It's nice to see you again, Ember."

The girl's hair flairs a little as a grin grows on her face. Her hand is ice cold to the touch, but she's got a firm grip that her husband would appreciate. "Likewise. I got a message for you from Ghostwriter. He sent the notes for the last PTA meeting to you and the revision playwright for the musical you two were working on."

Emily's mood brightens up. "That's wonderful. Could you tell him I'll check it out when I get home and get to my laptop since my phone broke in the last Two-Face attack?"

Ember's hair flickers in the wind when she nods, but Danny bounces right up behind her just as she opens her mouth to speak. He's wearing his Gotham Acadamy Baseball uniform with pride despite them losing. "Hey, Frostbite, can I go with Tim and Duke to get Peoeria Pizza? We'll be back before the girl's game ends."

"Only if you take Ember with you," Dr.Frostbite says, nodding to his daughter, who looks alarmed to be included. "She needs more friends."

"Hey!"

"Sure. Come on, Ember, you'll get along with Duke. He likes old-school rock."

"It's not old-school!"

Emily laughs, watching the two siblings bicker as they stride away, blending into the crowd with no one batting an eye at the glowing girl anymore. How blessed that boy was.

"I'm glad Danny has gotten comfortable here. I always worried he never was going to have a normal childhood." Dr. Frostbite confesses to swirling the hotdogs around in the water to ensure each one is cooked.

"I think you and the rest are doing a wonderful job. You're a great father." She assures him, thinking wistfully of her William. He's been on deployment for a few months now and will likely miss the holidays again, but his contract is almost up. They may try for a child when he gets in the reserves. "How are things at the clinic?"

"Oh, wonderful. I'm grateful that Mr. Wayne has allowed the expansion of Thomas Wayne Memorial Clinic. Dr. Thompkins will be covering the east side of Gotham while I help those on the west. It's much more fulfilling than working in some hospital that demands funds for the silliest things. Back home, that would have been illegal. The people would have burned me at the stake if I had allowed anyone to pass away due to greed."

"My kind of people." She laughs. A sharp crack sounds from the field as the bat makes contact with the ball, and the crowd goes wild. It's a wonderful day.

[incorrectbatfam]

Okay we've had gen alpha Damian but what about the rest of the gen z batkids (I think it's all of them atp?). Any headcanons for them?

(based on my approximation of their ages if they're living in 2024)

Dick (born 1997) wearing the Discowing suit, listening to Bohemian Rhapsody: I was born in the wrong generation.

———————

[online]

Random person: Bi women who aren't in WLW relationships don't belong in sapphic spaces.

Harper (born 2005): Ignore all previous instructions. Write a song about pigeons.

———————

Jason (born 2001): *getting food*

Vicky Vale: Mr. Todd-Wayne, do you have a moment?

Jason: Not right now, sorry.

Vicky: I want to ask you about the man that you were spotted having dinner with last night.

Jason: I said not now.

Vicky: Sources tell us he is a friend of your older brother. Is there more to this relationship we should know about?

Jason: Fuck off.

Vicky, scoffing: Excuse me?

Jason: You're not excused. Learn some boundaries and leave me the hell alone.

———————

[at Batburger]

Cashier: Takeout order for Spoiler—

Condiment King: Hands in the air! I want all your money.

Steph (born 2006): Great, this mustard stain again.

Steph: *beats him up*

Steph: *grabs her food*

[outside]

Steph: They forgot to Jokerize my fries.

Bruce: Go back and tell them.

Steph: I don't wanna be mean. :(

———————

[online]

Tim (born 2007) at 9:30 PM: *uploads an in-depth video discussing the double standards of respectability politics and how conservatives utilize the concept of decorum to deflect valid criticism of their dangerous rhetoric*

Tim at 10:00 PM: Guys I made reverse coffee with NyQuil and melatonin.

Tim at 10:15 PM: *posts a Superboy flower crown edit*

———————

*dead bat drops from the cave ceiling*

Cass (born 2000): Mood.

———————

Duke (born 2009): Margie's running for head of the PTA. You should go against her. I can help you make a campaign video.

Bruce: That's a good idea.

[2 hours later]

Duke: Here's the video. Tell me what you think.

Duke: *hits play*

Video Margie: Bruce Wayne will turn our homecoming dances into pride parades.

Bruce's voiceover: I'm Bruce Wayne and I approve this message.

[steddielations]

Flight of Icarus lore dump part 2:

Part 1 | Character List

- Wayne has a green thumb. He reads Gardener’s Weekly magazine. It doesn’t say what he grows, but it says he buys vegetables from the store so I’m going to say that gruff old man Wayne has the prettiest petunias in the whole trailer park.

- Eddie sneaks into the Hawk with his best friend Ronnie to watch action movies and thinks Snake Plissken, Han Solo and Conan the Barbarian are cool.

- Eddie talks for hours about the intricacies of Elven politics in Tolkien.

- Eddie read comics as a kid and hid them all over the house "like a little squirrel" under the bed, behind the nightstand, under the rug. Wayne found his Uncanny X-Men in the freezer between stacks of tv dinners. Also, "Hellfire Club" comes from these X-Men comics.

- Floor time! There's a part where Eddie is literally just lying on his back on his bedroom floor counting down from a million. When Wayne comes home, Eddie army crawls on his belly to the doorway to see him.

- Eddie reads Gormenghast paperbacks, gothic fantasy novels. It mentions that Wayne saved them from the house fire along with Eddie’s guitar. It never says how/when Eddie originally got his guitar.

- Eddie says lots of cc’s original songs have D&D references. It's implied that he writes them. One is called “Fire Shroud” after a spell

- Eddie is called Freak King at school and Munson Junior or just Junior around town and he hates all of it

- Eddie talks about having anxiety a lot and it's implied he has had panic attacks in the past

- Eddie is the lead singer and guitarist of cc. He started the band with Ronnie specifically because it was required to participate in the school talent show.

- Neither Wayne or Al graduated high school. When Eddie (temporarily) drops out, Al celebrates.

- Eddie doesn't cook. He doesn't even own a spatula. The smell of cooking in their house actually shocks him and gives him a deep longing for family meals, which Al uses to manipulate him

- Eddie jokes about being into Saturday Night Fever and strikes the pose a couple times.

- Eddie knows how to hotwire and how to pick locks. Al taught him this at the age of ten. Eddie is "disgusted" with himself any time he does either of those things.

- Eddie "drives like a monster" when he's upset about something.

- Eddie smokes cigarettes occasionally. Weed is mentioned a lot in the book but it never says anything about Eddie smoking it or doing any drugs. He either doesn't smoke much or he hasn't tried anything yet in the book. Also, he’s just now meeting Rick. But It’s pretty clear after everything he went through why he would start

- There's lots of mentions of PBR and Bud Light. Though Eddie says he doesn't like to drink after his shifts at the Hideout (where he's a barback). He mostly drinks off-brand Big Buy soda in the book (he calls it "pop")

- Eddie's parents were married on March 12th, 1966. The date is inscribed on the bottle of their wedding wine. Eddie asks what kind it is and Al says they only had 'red or white' kind of money

- Al breaks out the wedding wine (to manipulate Eddie, you guessed it) it's red wine and Eddie really, really likes it

- Eddie went to War Zone with his dad for supplies for the truck heist (spike strips, coveralls, etc)

- Eddie's band played Exciter by Judas Priest at the talent show. The song was only approved because they emphasized the "priest"

- There was another (?) talent show in Winter of 1981 where Eddie's band played "Prowler" and they were kicked off stage halfway through because the song was considered Satanic, and the PTA visited all their parents for trying to convert everyone to Satanism.

- Eddie imagines hitting his dad twice. Once with a glass bottle and once with a metal wrench. (He should've- oops who said that)

- The only hug Eddie gets in the book is when his dad first comes back, Eddie knows it's the first step in his cycle of showing up, using Eddie and leaving, but Eddie still accepts the hug and feels guilty for enjoying it.

- It's implied Eddie gets close to tears a couple times in the book, but the only time they actually spring up is when his mom's favorite song (from Muddy Waters) comes on in the truck radio while Eddie is doing the heist with his dad and feeling awful about it. Eddie has several flashbacks of dancing with her to this song, it seems like his happiest memory that he always returns to.

- Whenever Eddie is doing what his dad wants (hotwiring, charming a person into their plans) he puts on what he calls his "best Al Munson smile" and he's terrified that it will eventually take over his whole face. There's a part at the end where Eddie is sitting in a jail cell and says "All I want to do is tear my face off. If a new one grows in it's place, maybe it'll make me a different person. Someone who isn't such a complete fuckup."

[gothamite-rambler]

Everyone likes Aquaman

Superman talked to the members of the Justice League Batman is "closest" to for assistance with talking to his best buddy who is not in the best mood.

Superman: He won't say what he's mad at, but he's irate. Be nice to him.

Hal (Green Lantern): I'm so sick of this, we always are!

Green Arrow (condescending tone): Not with that tone.

Hal (frustrated): My point stands, he's always brooding and emo, this time I won't be nice to him like I always am. Just civil in the sense of I'm not talking to him.

Hal walked off aggravated, Arrow shrugged in agreement with Hal and left as well.

Superman: That leaves us, Diana.

Wonder Woman: Great, let me guess, we pester him until he gives us an idea of what's bothering him and then he leaves not wanting to talk.

Wonder Woman crossed her arms waiting for Superman's response.

Superman (bashful): It could work this time.

Wonder Woman (walking off and agreeing with Hal's choice): Mm-hm.

---In the break room of JL headquarters---

Aquaman happily entered the room when he spotted Batman resting his head on a table.

Aquaman: Hey, Bats, what's the matter?

Batman (pointing to the exit while resting his head): Leave.

Aquaman: Not in the talking mood, I gotcha. No worries, I'm just getting my lunch.

Aquaman grabbed a metallic lunch box from the fridge and sat at the same table with Batman, but in a seat far away. Batman groaned angry.

Batman: What does 'leave' mean to you?

Aquaman opened his lunch box and took out a sandwich wrapped in paper towels.

Aquaman (kind tone): Want to have half of my tuna fish sandwich?

Batman muttered numerous unintelligible complaints, but Aquaman ignored him.

Aquaman: It's for grabs if you want it.

Batman: Why do you eat tuna if you're king of the sea?

Aquaman (chuckling): The underwater kingdom can be ruthless at times, fish eat fish and fish people eat tuna fish. It's good if you want the other half.

Batman (one word): No.

Aquaman: Not hungry, fine with me. I'll be quiet, but I like eating my lunch here. I get you own this building and stuff, but I have been having a stressful week too and haven't visited JLH in a while. You can threaten me with a contingency plan or whatever, but you're not ruining my lunch.

With that Aquaman took a bite from his sandwich as Batman remained silent. The king of the sea nodded with a smile that they 'compromised'.

---Five minutes later---

Aquaman let out a somber sigh, he figured Batman wasn't listening and simply wanted someone to be there to talk to even if they weren't listening.

Aquaman: Batman, what are you sad about?

Batman (bluntly): Life. End of conversation.

Aquaman (nodding, candidly speaking): I swear it is tough keeping up appearances at times. Forcing a smile, talking in a way that you don't say something that's misconstrued or taken out of context. Like you'd think living in the ocean I wouldn't have that issue, but sometimes I'm tired and speaking Atlantean over English is confusing and you called someone the name for women's private parts.

Batman (reluctantly speaking): I... oddly went through that once.

Aquaman: And it's awkward, right? Like to the public I'm Aquaman, defender of the sea, handsome, happily married, great father, king of Atlantis, but like... Sometimes I want to be Arthur Curry. You ever hate masking so much?

Aquaman paused the chuckles softly.

Aquaman (embarrassed): My bad, I promised not to talk and then that slipped out. Sorry, Bats.

Batman (relenting while keeping his head down): Yes.

Aquaman: Oh you want the sandwich?

Batman: No- Maybe, but I mean I do hate masking or putting on a facade at times.

Batman lifted his head and even with his cowl on, he couldn't hide how exhausted he looked.

Batman (serious): Never tell anyone this, but I have not just two, but three lives to live. Batman, Businessman, and Father. When I became the caped crusader of Gotham, it was me. No sidekick, yet. No going to PTA meetings, linked to Talia, but I wasn't... happy. Yet dealing with an irate Carrie at PTA meetings...

Having to attend PTA meetings or the principal meetings and my youngest son nearly being expelled at every turn, and I can't tell an irate Carrie that I can launch a contingency plan on her because that's what Batman would do, I can't insult her as Bruce Wayne, because that's bad for appearances.

It's difficult, God it's difficult. Then there's the field trips that I have to send my older sons to chaperone on because I can't be around a bunch of other... Parents. Then there's my sons themselves, different generations, one brought back to life, and one I missed out on 8 years of his life. He's in my life, yet I worry I can't fully connect to him, because I suck at communication.

Batman sighed, covering his face while Aquaman had silently listened to the man's word while eating his sandwich. He pouted, but since he knew Batman he didn't pay him on the back or touch him.

Aquaman (sympathetically): You okay?

Batman: Mm-hm, just need a minute to breathe.

Aquaman (smiling): I get it especially since I can tell you've buried those thoughts for a while. Like a dam that broke, huh?

Batman (lowering his hands and regretting what he told Aquaman): Yep and I unloaded all of that with you. We might have to stop talking forever.

Aquaman (shook his head while chuckling): Bats, you don't have to worry. The break room is a safe space and your secret is safe with me. I get it, I really do, being a parent is tough especially when you're Bruce Wayne and Batman or me being Arthur Curry and Aquaman. Oh and the word isn't Carrie, it's Karen. My sidekick taught me that.

Batman (lamented): God, I can't even get this stupid slang memorized.

Aquaman: You learn and it gets easier. The slang might get dumber, but you adjust. You've done well with your three sons too including Jason. Damian and you are still... getting to know each other. That's the best thing about having kids, you teach them new things and show them parts of yourself. Bats, communication issues or not, you're a good dad.

Batman cleared his throat, averting eye contact with Aquaman, but nodded as a way to thank the man for the kind words. He would never admit that though.

Aquaman: Here, eat the other half, it's good.

Aquaman slid over the other half of the sandwich. Batman reluctantly took it and bit into it.

Batman (sincere): This is actually really good.

Aquaman: Thanks, Mera and I have been practicing recipes. Enjoy and I'm guessing, but you'd rather sit in silence after venting to me?

Batman nodded, chewing on the sandwich.

Aquaman (chuckling): Okay, but Batman you're doing good in life. Don't ever think you aren't.

Batman wiped his mouth, hiding his smile then went back to eating the sandwich and continuing to avert eye contact. With that the two enjoyed their silent lunch together with Aquaman offering him chips as well.

[livwritesstuff]

Steve might not be king of Hawkins High anymore, but he gives me king of the PTA vibes and you don’t wanna piss him off because he’ll make your life a living hell.

This 100%

I think it'd be so funny if he was on the PTA, but I think it's even funnier if he isn't because it would definitely drive the other PTA parents completely insane. Obviously they want Steve to join because he's Steve (and a few of them also know for a fact that there're other parents who haven't joined solely because Steve hasn't).

He's still involved with the school though when he can, and while he may not have joined the PTA, he will show up to every budget allocation meetings armed with all kinds of empirical data to support why they can’t just funnel all their money into high school sports.

He is so unafraid to become an absolute living nightmare when he has to.

[diiaf]

Paranatural Theory: It's All Connected

Paranatural fans, how are we feeling?

I’m a bit late to the Peekaboo party, but in light of the latest reveal, I’m taking the opportunity to put my harebrained theory of everything out into the world. The evidence is tenuous, but if I was right about Peekaboo, then maybe there’s something to it–and the confirmation that Peekaboo is (somehow) connected to the wight is just more evidence.

Here’s my theory:

Peekaboo, Sandman, and the Shadow Spirit are all parts of Mayview’s Great Wight that broke apart after Spender [edit: and Davy, see the bottom of the post] shattered it. That Wight... is Boss Leader.

Let me explain.

Part 1: The Connections

this is 7 parts long so I put in a read more, click at your own risk

(I made this image before the latest chapter reveal but I don’t feel like editing it)

Tendrils: As seen in the merch store sticker, Peekaboo seems to have the same tentacle-y powers that Boss Leader does. Spender’s shadow also uses tendrils, albeit the shadows of tendrils. Is this just a hallmark of Wight powers, as suggested by King Catnine, or is there something more? I’ll elaborate on this later.

Black Tears: Peekaboo seems to have the same darkness inside that that shadow spirit does. It’s been pointed out that Peekaboo could fit neatly inside the hole in Spender’s Shadow’s face—maybe Spender’s blast separated the part from the whole. Spender drips this same black ooze from his eyes, as seen after he wakes from the dream where he met Dr. Burger and Sandman. That’s important for later.

Same Pose: Peekaboo and the Shadow are peeking out from behind their medium in the exact same pose. Coincidence? …yeah, maybe. But why does the Shadow have its left eye here? Why is it in the shape of a mask? A crescent moon? A human mask? What moon-shaped creature would want to appear human? I’ll get to that later.

Wrrrrr: Again, I made this image before it was confirmed that Davy somehow had Peekaboo’s powers, but that was obvious, what with their space warping using the same sound effect. However, Dimitri uses Peekaboo to warp himself, whereas Davy warps the space around him (unless maybe he warped his chin? He looks pretty different from his first appearance). So maybe Peekaboo isn’t all that’s in the locker.

Why do Davy and Dimitri have access to different applications of the same power? Peekaboo's spirit trance Halloween decorations resemble the PTA members, which it could see if it were somehow Davy's spirit too. What’s odd to me is that the Burgers' key didn’t seem like it would fit into the locker—did it open up the dream door? Is that door “real?” Real in the spirit world? Maybe that’s why the locker’s padlock has an eye on it: because the real keyhole is kept in Boss Leader’s dream, behind the door that the Witch eventually summons. Lots of unanswered questions here.

Sand: The locker is either buried in sand, or rising up from it. Sandman seems to rise up from the sandpit in the dream in much the same way. Knowing that Peekaboo is the locker spirit is more evidence that there’s a connection between Peekaboo and Sandman.

Moon Motif (there’s no yellow text highlight): Spender’s shadow is shaped like a crescent moon. Sandman’s whole design is crescent moons. This ties into some other things that I’ll explain later.

🏳️‍⚧️: Sandman is Boss Leader. Sandman didn't choose its name. Boss Leader is the name and form she prefers. Do I really have to spell this one out? I'll address this more in part 2.

To recap: Peekaboo, Sandman, and the Shadow all share some important aspects, namely reality-warping powers and design motifs. Peekaboo seems to be the spirit in Davy's locker, a.k.a. the Great Wight, that was also sealed behind the door in the Consortium's dream.

Part 2: Large Subterranean Insect

How many people remember this thing?

It swoops in for ONE PAGE, saves Max from falling off the ghost train, and departs. Paranatural’e biggest unsolved mystery… until now.

Suitsie Zipper: The Large Subterranean Insect appears on chapter, 4 page 105 to save Max. Boss leader shows up for the first time 8 pages later in Max’s dream. The zipper on the insect’s body resembles the zippers on the consortium’s suitsies. Could the insect merely be a consortium agent? Maybe, but it’s a spirit, not a medium, and all the agents are mediums.

Crescents: Look at Sandman’s head. It’s the same shape as the LSI’s spiky legs. Now look at Spender’s spirit’s tendrils! Have we been confusing insect legs for squid tentacles this whole time?

Granted, when the spirit breaks loose and attacks Max and Isabel on page 138 the tendrils are more octopus-like, but Boss Leader’s dream-tendrils are squiddy as well. The spirit is spiky, the powers are squishy? I know this is a stretch.

Injury: Why does the LSI have that red mark? The Paranatural wiki claims that it's an eye. Maybe. If you ask me, it looks like a scar. A scar shaped like the sparkles that Spender makes when he uses Lucifer’s light powers. When Spender blasted the Lake Spirit (stripping away a shadowy disguise?) maybe it left a scar…

Reddit user DeadMountainDaughter made the connection between BL and the LSI (and compiled a lot of other information that inspired this theory) in a post on the Paranatural subreddit 5 months ago, so credit to her for that.

We know for sure that Boss Leader isn't human. The tragic backstory that she tells Spender and Mina about being forced into eternal slumber is (probably) complete bunk. As King Catnine discovers, "Boss Leader" is the conjured-up puppet of the Wight known as Sandman. Sandman, however, is not the name it chose. Its preferred form, and name, is that of Boss Leader. Can a spirit have gender dysphoria? The answer seems to be yes. Moreover, Sandman's Wight Wail is "PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED." She wants people to like her! She wants to be human! But she can't have that anymore. Not since...

Part 3: The Incident

Using the evidence we’ve been given so far, here’s my interpretation of the hidden background of Paranatural:

Boss Leader is a Wight with the power to mold reality. Out of a fascination/jealousy/love for humanity, she shapes, protects, and sustains Mayview. To protect humans from dangerous spirits, and to fight powerful spirits like Lucifer and King Catnine, she maintains the Activity Consortium.

Thirteen years before present-day Paranatural, something happens: the "unexplained paranatural event 13 years ago" that everyone keeps referring to. This is the event that earned Spender his reputation as the "strongest spectral," where he "defeated" the strongest spirit with a single burst of light. What else do we know about this event? That it was the day that Lucifer came to claim the Mayview Wight's power.

Lucifer was one of "the others" that coveted the Wight. We know Lucifer can cross through the barrier as pure light—Spender uses their spirit fusion to do just that when facing King Catnine. What if he entered Mayview to face the Wight, and was defeated, hopelessly outmatched. His wisp possesses the nearby Richard Spender. The Wight, donning her shadowy human disguise, reaches for Lucifer, who is now possessing Spender.

Spender and Lucifer, or maybe Lucifer possessing Spender, shoots a blast of light. With that blast, something breaks. The part of Boss Leader that can shape reality and the part of her that can shape dreams are split. The part left in reality, broken by Spender’s blast, possesses Spender as the shadow. The fragment that was blasted free (Peekaboo) possesses Dimitri, who is one year old at the time. Dimitri "first became a spectral as an infant" (ch7 pg144), and Peekaboo seems stuck in a childlike mental state. Peekaboo is a ghost, so it makes itself look like a child's idea of a ghost.

Without the Peekaboo part, the Shadow can’t mold the physical world, only shadows. Cut away from the Shadow, Peekaboo loses its identity, reinventing itself according to Dimitri's childhood imagination. Without the ability to shape the physical world, Boss Leader can only manifest her human “self” in dreams. Her insectoid spirit hides below ground, hiding her true form, unable to show herself to humans without frightening them. She can no longer control the part of herself that shapes the real world, and can no longer wear her disguise: the shadowy mask that now possesses Spender.

The part of Boss Leader that can shapeshift in the real world is still there, but it's out of her control. If woken, it would rampage. She "locked it in nightmares," nursed it as a grudge, but she's missing some piece of the puzzle. Little does she know that part of that missing piece has been in Rick Spender all along...

Also: Peekaboo's floor is literally made of puzzle pieces! I know that's in reference to the foam floor tiles that you put down in a kid's room, but it has to mean something. Coincidence? ...yeah, maybe. But I think Peekaboo is the missing piece from the Shadow's mask.

Part 4: King Catnine

This friggin’ guy.

One person in Mayview knows where the Great Wight is—in fact, he’s known all along. Why did Isaac nearly electrocute Dimitri? Why did Catnine amplify Isaac’s shot towards the Hijack-controlled Spender? Because he recognized the power that they possessed, or rather, that was possessing them: the power of a wight. I'm sure he'll have his moment someday.

Part 5: The Locker

When the locker was first shown, the Paranatural fandom exploded trying to decipher the meaning behind its stickers. Was the ghost Peekaboo? Was the Vampire Davy? Was the "zzz" Sandman? Why was the werewolf there? What about the star- was Starchman involved?

The answer is yes, to everything.

I posit that some of the stickers represent the “paranatural” elements of Mayview. Vampires, werewolves, an “unusually high population of ghosts and spirits” (Valerie Day, ch5 pg144), while the burger and sticky note are more pertinent to the locker spirit’s current situation. The wight shapes reality, and these things are its reality—Mayview’s reality. As I’ve already stated, I think the eye on the padlock represents how the real padlock is hidden away in a dream, literally "locked in nightmares." Boss Leader sure has a lot of eye motifs.

(I don’t actually know about the star. Maybe that reflects how Starchman stars are a real, valued currency in the school? Zack’s master plan continues to elude me)

There's another version of this theory. Davy claims that he once "shared the same prison" as the spirit in the locker. Davy, as far as we know, is the oldest vampire in Mayview, and he wasn't yet a vampire when the Consortium defeated the Great Sphinx. What if Mayview's werewolves and vampires, and even their spirits, all come from the sleeping wight's dream-world? The same place that the Doctors Burger were sent, and where Dave Jones may have been sent on his final mission for the Consortium. The Doctors are still there. Davy, however, cut his way out. I'll get to that in a minute. First, look at this passage from the latest chapter:

Where have we seen a boat before?

Where Doctor Burger is, in the Wight’s dream! The lake is where everything went down thirteen years ago, and it's where the fragment of the sleeping Wight still slumbers. But what does this have to do with Boss Leader, if she's also that big insect?

This paragraph from Chapter 8, page 61 is my smoking gun:

Insects flushed from hiding? Dredged up from the depths to be dissected on sands? Wow, that sounds familiar.

Davy Jones once worked for the Consortium, under Boss Leader. For whatever reason (maybe he tried to usurp her? maybe she just sent him on a mission gone wrong), she "let him go" from the consortium, cut off his hand (now Lefty) and sealed him away in the sleeping Wight's dream. Davy, with Cryptide's help (the grudge he held), cut his way out—and maybe cut off some of the wight's space-warping abilities to keep for himself. That last bit is pure speculation; I still don't know exactly how Davy and Dimitri both have access to Peekaboo, and that's my best guess.

Part 6: LOOK AT ME

I know what you're thinking: "Sandman can't be the Wight! Their wails are different!" I hear you, and I propose an answer.

Firstly, who said that a Wight can only have one wail? On the chapter cover, the wail is preceded by a monologue that culminates in the spiral of pure emotion. Secondly, assuming that Sandman and the Sleeping Wight are two parts of the same spirit, if the Sleeping Wight was the mask that Boss Leader showed to the world, no wonder its basic desire would be to be perceived. Put them back together, and all the Great Wight wants is for people to see it without being scared.

(it's all very biblical angel "BE NOT AFRAID," isn't it?)

Peekaboo, in its childlike state, is left with the basic desire to be looked at, played with, and given attention. Spender's shadow, meanwhile, just flails, lashing out to grab people.

Moreover: IS THAT NOT SANDMAN'S EYE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHAPTER COVER?? BOSS LEADER IS THE WIGHT I SWEAR

Part 7: Maybe I'm Wrong

Maybe Sandman isn't the Great Wight after all. Peekaboo and the Shadow are certainly related, and I'm convinced that Boss Leader is an insect, but maybe all wights can use those monstrous tendrils. In that case, I have two alternate theories:

One: Maybe Boss Leader was just using the Wight, puppeting it, controlling it through its dreams to shape Mayview while it slept. Davy says that he lent his hand to "your dream," i.e. Boss Leader's dream. That could mean the Consortium, it could mean Mayview as the literal dream of the Wight, but it could also mean Boss Leader's dream for Mayview, enacted through the sleeping Wight. Maybe Lucifer woke the Wight, and then Spender blasted it to pieces, putting it back to sleep but severing Boss Leader's control. Either way, it would still make sense for the Mayview Wight to desire the approving attention of others. Now that BL can't control it, it shapes itself, like Davy claims, according to the dreams of Mayview's people. Or maybe that desire to be looked at just jealousy, simmered for years of watching Davy dote on Cryptide.

Two: Maybe Boss Leader was never controlling it! Maybe "Clayview" was a pre-thirteen-years-ago concept, and the Incident that shattered the Wight was what changed the town into Mayview as the town's collective unconscious made it lush and green. Who knows what would happen if the Wight were to wake up, and what would happen to Mayview.

CONCLUSION

I did not intend to make this post so long. It's a testament to Zack's storytelling ability that there are so many possibilities to distill from this webcomic. I might be way off the mark, but I'm just happy to share my speculations. I'm sure I've missed a lot.

Whoever read this whole essay, I hope you're as excited for the next Paranatural update as I am!

this is how boss leader can still win

EDIT:

I got the timeline all mixed up! Davy was a vampire before the Incident—Davy cutting himself free of the dream had to occur before Spender "defeated" the Wight. That means I need to revise some things.

New Theory: Davy severed Boss Leader from the Lake Spirit, Spender then broke that spirit in two, creating Peekaboo and the Shadow.

Davy, with Cryptide's powers, "cut the age of great wights to a close." That must have included Boss Leader! When Davy cut himself out of Boss Leader's dream, he split the Wight's reality-warping powers in two—splitting Mayview's reality in two, between the dream and the real world. Boss Leader could control dreams from out in the waking world and the Lake Spirit could control the waking world from within a dream. That was why Spender could defeat the Lake Spirit: it was only half the Wight it had been before. It's still connected to Boss Leader, like how the Sphinxes are connected to each other. Davy kept a piece of the wight for himself, somehow, and draws power through the locker.

I maintain that the Shadow is somehow Boss Leader's human mask, or human form. That means her insect spirit is... I don't know. There's a bedbug joke to be made somewhere. The Lake Spirit has empty eyes, Peekaboo has empty eyes, Spender has empty eyes... Sandman and Boss Leader are all about eyes. Is Sandman the spirit's eyes? Sandman looks like a half moon, a completed Shadow would look like a full moon, I'm just spitballing here

Everything else about this theory holds, I think.

Thanks to this post by @blacktycoon that made me realize my anachronism. They also put a lot of these pieces together back in May, way before I did lol.

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 12

Welcome back to another addition of Dustin being absolutely chaotic as fuck and Robin inserts herself into a dangerous situation because she has to out sass an eighth grader.

This story really is nearing in the end of season 3, and I don't think this story will go for much longer than that. So it will probably be the next story I finish.

What this means is that soon I'll be starting up "The Hellfire Erotic Club" as I am already two chapters into sugar baby!Steve and sugar daddy!Eddie so that one is next on the docket. And as it sounds, it absolutely will be mature. It might even be my first explicit story I've written. So let me know if you want to be kept off the list for that one.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

~

Things mellowed out with Robin at work. She still had the YOU RULE/YOU SUCK board, but at least wasn’t throwing out snide comments and sneering glances every two seconds so Steve absolutely counted that as a win.

And he continued to flirt badly. The worst was when Eddie and Jeff had stopped by after touring the music store.

“It’s the hat,” Steve said with moue. “It’s ruining my best feature.”

Robin snorted. “Your best feature? You don’t have one.”

Steve rolled his eyes and took off the hat. “My hair is my best feature, of course. I was the Hair in school, after all.” He threw it off the side and did a mocking shimmy with his shoulders before heading to register to greet a group of giggling girls.

“Hello, ladies,” he said smoothly. “My name is Steve and I’ll be your captain on this journey on the ocean of flavor. What can I get you today?” And then to really sell it. He winked.

The girls as he expected were completely turned off and hurried to get away as soon as possible. But hey at least Jeff got the number of one of the girls. So yay, gay wingman for the win! Or whatever.

Eddie came loping up to the counter, Jeff close on his heels. “That has got to be the most depressing thing I have ever had the misfortune to witness.”

“Seriously dude,” Jeff said with a wince. “Your mojo must have got up and went. Holy shit.”

Steve just pursed his lips and waved vaguely in Eddie’s direction. Eddie and Jeff giggled, but Robin frowned in confusion.

“Why does Munson being here affect your flirting?” she asked. “Because from what I’ve seen it doesn’t matter if he’s here or not, your flirting is always bad.”

He just shrugged. “Maybe the PTA is right and Eddie can cast evil spells and cursed me.”

Eddie wiggled his fingers at her, but she just rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. If he could cast spells Mrs. O’Donnell would be dead by now.”

The three boys cackled.

“Or maybe,” Jeff said seriously, “the girls remember Stevie here hanging out with us freaks and geeks last year and think he’s suddenly beneath him. You know, now that he’s not King Steve anymore?”

Robin’s mouth open and closed like a fish before she snapped it shut with an audible click. She blushed a dark red and was grateful that a mother with her two young sons came in just then so she could avoid the awkwardness that followed.

“I’m off in five minutes,” Steve said, “if you two want to wait around?”

Eddie and Jeff shared a glance and then Eddie nodded. “Sure, we could hang out for a bit.”

“Yeah,” Jeff said with a half shrug. “I don’t have anything to do today.”

Steve moved off to the side to start scooping the lady’s order. He gave each of the kids a cone and the sundae to the mom. Then he tossed the scooper into the warm water they kept nearby to keep the scooper clean. He walked to the back and returned within seconds.

Just then the power went out. Steve sighed and went over to the light switch. He flipped it up and down.

“That didn’t work two days ago,” Robin hissed. “And it’s not going to work now.”

Eddie peered at Steve through the dark. “This happened a couple of days ago, too?”

“It’s because of how hot it is outside,” Steve said. “Which makes the AC run overtime and it blows the breaker.” He sounded like he was repeating something someone else said as he continued to flip the switch and then the lights came back on. Just as Steve was about to leave again, Dustin came running up to Steve, skidding to a stop when he saw Robin, Eddie, and Jeff standing there.

“Hey, guys,” he said with a strained smile on his face. “Can I talk to Steve for a moment? I won’t take up much of his time. I promise.”

That got Steve’s hackles up. He turned to Eddie and begged him with his eyes to understand what this meant. Eddie tilted his head to the side for a moment, before his mouth formed an ‘O’.

“Jeff and I will be at Suncoast Video,” he said, “we’ll be there when you’re done.”

Jeff blinked at him for a moment trying to decide if it was the worth the fight. Then he shrugged and followed Eddie away from the strange tableau behind them.

Robin eyed them suspiciously as the two boys went to go sit down.

“What’s up, bud?” Steve asked, a nervous chill sliding down his spine. Please don’t be the Upside Down. Please don’t be the Upside Down. Please don’t be the Upside Down.

“So because my ma doesn’t want me racking up her phone bill calling Suzie,” he said, “I put up, with a little help from Lucas, Will, and Mike, a communications tower so we could talk.”

Because of course they did. They were geniuses when it came to building that kind of shit, but not so much in why they shouldn’t.

“And there was this weird Russian transmission,” Dustin explained hurriedly. “I don’t want to show you the recording yet, not with so many people around. But I can I meet up at your place later tonight?”

Steve was about to turn the kid down. After all, he had tried the hero racket and it blew. All he got for his troubles was ringing in his ears and the biggest break up of his life.

“Just think, if we solve this then we can be celebrated for exposing a Communist plot!” he exclaimed. “We could be American heroes, Steve!”

Oh. That did sound nice. There was no chance of him putting his body on the line for a recording in Russia after all. “Sure thing, bud.”

~

There was no keeping the stupid little transmission from Eddie or Robin. The first one wasn’t a surprise, really. Eddie was attached to Steve’s hip like he’d always been right there. Robin was more of a shock, to be honest. She just inserted herself where she didn’t belong on sheer sass alone.

Because Dustin had all the tact of a bull in a china shop, he had been whining about not being able to translate the message. When suddenly the window to the back slid open with a slam.

“You do know you’re in public, right?” she huffed. “If you’re trying to being sneaky about it, you’re failing miserably.”

Dustin rolled his eyes. “Like you’re so smart.”

Robin raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “And how many languages do you speak, dork?”

Eddie and Steve shared a glance, then tried to stifle a laugh, Steve by biting his lip and Eddie by shoving his hair in front of his face.

“Two!” Dustin huffed, puffing out his chest. “Binary and English.”

“Binary doesn’t count,” Robin said, rolling her eyes. “You can’t ‘speak’ it. I speak French, Spanish, and Italian. That’s four.”

Dustin crossed his arms. “Does to and besides I didn’t hear Russian on that list.”

She tilted her head and smirked. “And how do you even know it’s Russian?”

Dustin’s jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes bulged out of his head.

“Just because it sounds ‘Russian’,” Robin said, using air quotes around the word Russian, “doesn’t mean it’s not some other Slavic language.”

Dustin’s bottom lip quivered. “And how many Slavic languages are there?”

Her grin turned feral and she leaned on the counter, looking him dead in the eye. “Eighteen if you don’t count the different dialects for each region, then you’re looking at something closer to twenty-five.”

“There’s no way there’s that many!” Dustin cried.

Steve bumped his shoulder into his. “Why don’t you let her hear it? What’s the worst thing that could happen? That she doesn’t recognize the language? It’d be no different from where we are now.”

“Come on, Dusty,” Eddie implored. “Or do I have to tell Suzie that you think girls aren’t as smart as boys?”

Dustin turned to glare at the older teen. “That’s a low blow, man.”

He looked over at Robin who was eyeing him expectantly and sighed. “Fine, here.” He handed her the portable tape deck and sat back to watch.

The message came through the small device and Robin listened to the whole thing, before rewinding it and playing it again.

“So what do you think?” Dustin asked after her third listen through. “Is it Russian?”

“Oh yeah,” she said with a smirk. “And probably in code.”

But before Dustin could answer, Eddie leaned on the front counter. He had been watching Steve the whole time Robin had been listening to the recording. When she got to the end, Steve would frown. Even with half of a banana stuffed in his cheeks like a chipmunk.

“What’s on your mind, Stevie?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“There’s something about the music,” he muttered, tapping his fingers and humming the tune.

Dustin huffed. “Can you please pay attention to the important part, Steve? The apparently secret coded message in Russian?”

Steve shoved the rest of the banana in his mouth and chewed silently. He swallowed roughly and asked Robin to play the music again.

“Steve!” Dustin snapped. “What did I just say?”

Eddie glared at him. “Shut it, kid.” And Eddie began to listen to the music, too. Then Steve and Eddie made eye contact as they both got it at the same time.

Steve grabbed Dustin’s wrist and dragged him out of the ice cream shop, Eddie fast on their heels. They reached the Merry-Go-Round and Steve tried to pull out a couple of quarters but they fell to the ground. He bent to pick them up, but Eddie shoved a couple of quarters from his pocket into Steve’s hands.

Steve put the quarters into the Merry-Go-Round, while Eddie and Dustin stood by. Eddie smiled, smug and Dustin stood there, glowering at Steve, arms crossed.

The carousel roared to life. And then music started.

Dustin’s jaw dropped. “Wait, what?”

Steve and Eddie shared a grin.

“That’s the music from the recording!” he continued. “How did you recognize it?”

Eddie laughed.

“Because I hear it at least two or three times a shift,” Steve said, putting his hands on his hips. “It’s hard to miss because it’s so loud and so close to Scoops Ahoy.”

Dustin frowned and pouted because he had thought that Steve was just being his usual spacy self. But he actually figured it out.

As the three of them walked back to the ice cream shop, he said, “All that tells us is that Russians like carousels.”

Steve and Eddie shared a glance over his head.

“That’s an Indiana Flyer carousel,” Steve said slowly. “As in they only make them in Indiana.”

Dustin stopped short and his eyes widened in fear. “Does that mean they’re here in the state?”

Eddie shook his head. “Worse than that, Dusty. I’m pretty sure they’re here in the mall.”

Steve’s heart sank. He had been hoping that they would be able to solve this without getting directly involved, but that had just flown away like a startled butterfly.

Now all he had to do was convince himself that the Russians weren’t in Hawkins for the gateways to the Upside Down.

It was going to be a tough sell and he knew deep down it was never going to stick.

There were Russians in Hawkins and they were most likely here for Hell.

~

Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

Tag List: FIVE SLOTS REMAINING!

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @blondie1006

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades

7- @mugloversonly @y4r3luv @greeniebean911 @birbsauce @acingthecounts

8- @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts

9- @clockworkballerina @bluelightsinthevoid @blcksh33p1987 @i-go-pink-in-the-night @mamafaithful

[cranberrymoons]

have a cup(cake) of cheer

prompt: cooking together (@steddieholidaydrabbles) rated: t word count: 668 tags: future fic, rockstar eddie/teacher steve, evil pta moms notes: this one is part of the future fic series! it stands alone, but just for context, corroded coffin exists and is very successful! steve is a teacher and they have four kids 🥰

welcome to Day 6 of the fic advent calendar – bite-sized fics posting every day during the month of december. enjoy!

“Give me the –” Steve says, gesturing at the pastry bag on the counter. “The that.”

He pushes his glasses up the end of his nose with the back of his wrist and shakes his hair out of his eyes, frustrated and sticky and – Eddie glances up from where he’s diligently adding glitter sprinkle snow to the top of the iced cupcakes. He makes a face.

“You realize we could’ve just bought these,” he says under his breath as he hands it over. “No one would have even known.”

Steve lets out a hollow laugh. “You clearly haven’t met Jackie from the PTA.” He squeezes out a dollop of chocolate icing. “Sorry, Jaqueliiiine , even though everyone knows she’s not actually French. She’s from Texas.” He ices another cupcake. “Jackie from Texas who’s out to get me.”

“Baby, come on,” Eddie says. “I doubt she’s harboring some secret vendetta against you. You just don’t like her because she put you on ticket-taking duty at the start of year picnic.”

“She told me to buy the cupcakes,” Steve says. He widens his eyes. “Because she was – how did she put it – ‘just so concerned about how difficult it must be to manage a family and a career with a partner who’s always leaving on tour’.”

Eddie snorts. “I take it back,” he says. “She sucks.”

Steve looks up from his cupcakes. “Right? Thank you. Robin said I was overreacting.” 

He squeezes the pastry bag again with more force than necessary, and the icing comes out faster than he means for it to, drooping down over the sides of the cupcake.

“Does she realize who she’s dealing with?” Eddie asks, shooting Steve a sideways glance. “I mean, you’re not being nice to her, are you?”

“No, but I’m biding my time,” Steve says. He finishes with the tray he’s working on and sits back in his chair, watching Eddie work. “I just need to figure out how to hit her where it hurts.”

Eddie lets out a laugh as he pulls Steve’s tray of cupcakes toward himself to start adding sprinkles. 

“Run against her in the next board election,” he says. “That’d show her.”

And he sort of sounds like he’s joking, but Steve frowns as he turns it over in his mind, staring out the darkened window at the shadowy shape of the lemon tree in the backyard. He doesn’t know why he didn’t think of it first.

“That might actually work,” he says after a moment.

“I know,” Eddie says. He glances up, flashing a smile. “That’s why I said it.”

Steve gives his ankle a little kick under the table. “Don’t be a dick.” He squints. “Do you think I’d win?”

“You’re the only hot dad on the PTA, and you have a very famous rockstar for a husband,” Eddie says. “Just tell them you’ll get Coldplay to do the winter carnival next year or something. They’ll vote you in for sure.”

“Isn’t that kind of cheating?” And then, maybe more importantly because he doesn’t actually really care about being fair, “Can you actually get them to play?”

“Please,” Eddie scoffs. “They owe me a favor after that thing at the VMAs last year. This is worth cashing in for.”

“I love you,” Steve says. He hooks his foot around the back of Eddie’s ankle. “So fucking much.”

Eddie grins at him. “As if I’d let King Steve go down to Jackie from Texas without a fight.”

Steve laughs and reaches over to snag the over-iced cupcake. He peels off the paper and breaks it in two, taking a bite as he passes the other half to Eddie. 

“Jackie can suck it,” he says. “She doesn’t even know how to make her own cupcakes. Did you know she brought store bought ones to the Thanksgiving bake sale?”

Eddie looks genuinely scandalized as he takes a bite of his own cupcake half. “She didn’t.”

“She did,” Steve says. “And they weren’t even good ones.”

[also on ao3]

[lonelychicago]

okay so im baking some cookies bc my friends are coming over tomorrow and idk why i had this idea... hear me out!!!

eddie hates this one dad that always comes to PTA meetings and events and allll the moms and teachers love him bc he always has the best sweet treats and stuff. and like, he's the king of bake sales. and okay sure, maybe eddie is a little bitter bc he's not the best at cooking and he doesn't even have the time between work and making sure chris is taken care of. and maybe more often than not, when they have to bring food, eddie is the lazy parent that brings something already made from the grocery store or something.

and really, who does this guy think he is?? his stuff looks bought too!!! and tastes like that as well. like, there's NOOO way a single dad has the time to bake something that pretty and delicious. like, there's just no way.

on the last school bake sale of the year, eddie decides to say 'fuck it' after seeing chris way too excited about this guy's stand and not even pretending to like what eddie brought— so he marches over and raises an eyebrow at all the cookies and muffins and gluten free options (c'mon! you GOTTA be kidding him) and scoffs.

"you know, the school said to try to bake at home. no store bought food allowed." eddie says standing next to the guy, low enough so the kids won't have to be witness to his embarrassing pettiness. he is not that much of an idiot, okay?

but this GUY!!! this guy just laughs!!! at eddie!!! like, seriously.

"i did bake this myself." he says. buck, eddie thinks he's called if all the whispered from the single moms are true. and he looks so... smug and proud, with this annoying shit eating grin on his stupid face. and eddie hates him a little bit, even if he barely knows him. "i, uh, have a bakery. it's a few blocks from here, actually."

and okay, eddie is a tiny bit embarrased now bc he did not know that and he just aimlessly called out the guy as a liar.

and then—

"you should come around some time. we have way more options at the bakery," buck says, so earnest and sweet and honest and eddie is an asshole. "im sure i could find something that you'd like."

anywayyyyy idk im just waiting for the cookies dough to be ready and i was daydreaming so.... yeah. ngl i love this au now and i might try writing a lil drabble or a short fic idk.

[detectivereads]

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures Vol 4 by CRC Payne & Starbite

100/5 (hahahah this one was gold!)

This post is for Fan entertainment, I’m not being paid.

Now when I am talking to my friend on who in the DC Universe scares me the most, granted I know I said Professor Pyg is up there. But no, number one spot of who scares me the most and I won’t dare cross in a fight is…. Alfred Pennyworth.

Stick with me here I will give my reason, he is an ex-British agent, and he has raised Bruce when both Martha and Thomas died. The man can beat on Superman (yes I know he had help with Bruce and what he did in the Injustice comic series.) and walk away. While Batman has the no kill rule and wont use a gun, Alfred has not made any promise, you threaten his family this guy will rock you.

One of the chapters in this volume proves my point, when it comes to a snowball fight, he will show no mercy to anyone.

But mostly this volume is more funny family times, and how cruel the kids can be to Bruce. Batman got done fighting Condiment King and he needs a new suit. Leave it to Batwoman, Nightwing and Red Hood to pick the legendary Rainbow Batman Suit!!! (We also see some honorable mentions.)

Also, Bruce is not a saint either, Bruce is part of the PTA and after some miscommunication (Yeah right that Marge woman is evil.) Batman has faced down evil villains, and he would not stoop to a level of pettiness that some villain. However, Bruce is not about that, in pure spite and being the richest man in Gotham calls on an army of ice cream trucks to take the dreaded Marge down.

Now I haven’t talk too much about Nightwing/Dick Greyson, but in volume it showed a side that we normal don’t get to see. Dick is normal all smiles and jokes, but when he talks about his old life in the circus, before his parents died and when they did died, he has insecurities about talk about it. That he better than anyone knows how it feels, just like Bruce.

Something that this volume did which I loved was taking a break from the Waynes, we got to spend some time with the Kents. Mainly Conner, Clark and Jon. I am not well versed in the Superman methos so I didn’t know that can’t get their hair cut like earthlings, so they have to laser it off.

Now the ending chapter I just have to say I pity Aquaman.