#productive day for me haha
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i know this is nothing compared to other people's achievements, but trust me, i suck ass at this game. this is huge for me LMAO
#thoughts#i got lucky and managed to get retro and prototype... my besties of all time#no mozelle though :-(#productive day for me haha
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Because I need at least one of them to work
Definitely not the continuation of this shit
#ha ha funny#ha ha#haha(n't)#another day another shitty meme instead of being actually productive but hey they're still punching so I have that going for me#dollya art#Just Dollya herself#and himself
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Got up early (for me), ate a light and healthy breakfast, applied to some jobs, took a long mental health walk with the dogs, gave one of them a bath, and even did some phone calls and messaging regarding my medication and pharmacy problems and managed to sort it out without breaking down!!! And! Showered!! Kicking ASS at mental health today
#im studying myself like a bug. with no judgement or compulsive self hate when i see the results. and then doing something different based on#those results#and its working#ive noticed that im much more productive when i have someone else to help or listen to. its a little uh sad because im not easily able to#to take care of myself and do things for MYSELF. but if its for someone else then its like i gain momentum#going out to clean out MY car? well i dont care how gross it is im not worth the effort.#cleaning out my car for my brother who i drive to therapy every other week? fuck yes its going to be nice and clean because therapy is impo#rtant and i want to help you stick with it and so we make it not a chore but lighthearted sibling time#like do you get it#anyway slow progress is still progress#the number of good days are slowly catching up to the number of bad days#post beginning of the pandemic 2020 was so brutal on me. moving back in with my parents especially#but i have a plan now . a real one. and friends to help me as well !#oops rambling in the tags haha#long tags
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More of my favourite low effort CPDS Members as my screenshotted tiktok comments memes for you as an apology for being so inactive and proof I am still around hehe <33
#am just about to start my final year of university#which is pretty crazy to thing abt#so if anyones been wondering where I've been....ive been around haha#been working on shows basically non stop#apparently 13 hour day tech weeks dont leave much time or energy for tumblr posting 😔😔#i also get way too hype thinking abt mischief which means it takes even more energy out of me oopsie#i did work on a production this year that was basically rip off ppgw it was very fun especially knowing the context but it is so difficult#pantomime tech is so difficult things just dont like to go to plan#very rewarding tho#anyway if anyone is interested in what im doing u can follow my tech professional instagram acc @abirustagetheatretech#anyway yeah accept my badly made memes as my apology for being so inactive#love u all lots still <33#hope everyone is doing well#mischief theatre#mischief comedy#the goes wrong show#mischief theatre memes
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2024 reads / storygraph
Bury Your Gays
Horror
a scriptwriter in hollywood who’s getting attention & an Oscar nom after working in the industry for years, but is being pressured by algorithm-obsessed producers to kill off the queer characters in the season finale of the show he writes
and when he starts getting stalked by the monsters he wrote (based on traumas of his past) he has to figure out how to survive, along with his best friend and boyfriend
#bury your gays#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#Yeah this was good! some creepy horror. some pointed discussion of corporate greed and algorithms/replacing artists#The bit at the end that’s like suddenly Corporate Gays! Queer Is Profitable Now (But Only Happy Queers!)#made me cringe in a ‘oh god that’s so accurate’ kind of way#There’s a few brief chapters that are full production scripts (sound effects/multiple VAs) which was cool (if brief)#and the way that related to the story was really interesting.#I will say - lots of discussion of bury your gays in tv (obviously)& discussion of recent trying to replace artists/writers with ai#but I feel like it skipped over the whole Cancelling Every Show With Lesbians (especially since the characters in his show are sapphic)?#Like that's very on theme and relevant; I would have expected a mention of it if nothing else haha#his best friend is aroace and I thought was handled pretty well#there's a bit at the end that's like her invisible identity helps her save the day which is obviously pointed commentary#but also it was her tech skills that did that not her sexuality?? so it felt slightly awkward. idk. not a major criticism lol#(I guess she is the kind of character to make it into a joke about that)#also is he named misha after. you know
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Sorry what’s up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff
HI HELLO please buckle in
yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.
he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.
it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.
and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.
there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance 🥲
FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!
#loren talks#ethan slater#months later let's call this my actual full response/reaction lol#i think at the time this was going down at the end of 2023 i was sort of just Freaking Out like my blood was boiling lol#i was parasocially furious with both of them#ofc now i do realise i'd put him on something of a pedestal#having seen his cute posts about his then wife an former childhood sweetheart plus posts welcoming his new son#AND having watched a youtube mini-series he'd made with his then-brother-in-law. i was SO invested and then.#i was like OH. he really DESTROYED his family huh.#but ofc! every situation is nuanced. we don't know what went on behind the scenes#wrg to his relationship. or what grande's was like with her ex-husband#since everything came to light there's been articles stating that slater wants to work with his ex-wife to share custody of their child#and that he's been spotted backstage WITH his son at spamalot on broadway (his current production)#so it sugggests he's not trying to be an Absent Father#which tracks with some of his own artwork as he and nick blaemire DID write a whole musical about the strained relationship between#a father and son and i just feel like. that suggests something about his personal character. and makes me HOPE he'd want to#be a present and loving parent regardless of circumstance.#anyways.#it's simply not my business BUT. seeing his face#popping up every now and again#it does just. feel extremely weird haha#there's a part of me that's like oh but that's musical spongebob my bestie what's he doing here#as for ariana i really have never had a strong opinion of her#but i have to say hearing her songs out and about these days...... :') i could do without it
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just to inquire, what’s your favorite thing you sell in your shop?
i love your comic!
Oh thank you!
And my favorite thing... That's hard to answer haha
I like selling prints because I get to use my nice printer (which I love to do) and I especially love selling custom panel prints, because then I get to see people's favorite panels from my comic, which is double nice...
The most fun items to pack are the merch bundles which are themed with my books, I LOVE coming up with packaging design like this so much...
But my favorite design has gotta be one of these... Probably the patch, there.
It's really hard for me to pick!
I actually genuinely just am really passionate about product design and merch themeing, it's not only extremely fun for me but it also just really engages my brain. I love coming up with items that fit a theme, and there's no theme I love more than my own comics haha
So there's not much I could enjoy more! That's why I chose to do a merch club on patreon, it lets me get out my merch-y feelings but without overloading my storefront... Plus it's just really fun for me! I get to experiment, make little packages, and enjoy making new things.
Thank you for asking!
#asks#anon#I like actually genuinely could rant about this all day#like no joke. I have#and I will again#I really really really love finding sort of the little nugget of marketable ideas in things#and then designs for merch...#I love designing things to fit a specific product type#like a patch design is WAYYYYY different than the concepts for a pin design#and keychains are way different from THAT#I think I might end up for the patrons doing something someday where I do a more intense package#only thing stopping me is uhhhhh#shipping costs. would be way more#like losing me money on the international people#but maybe at the end of the year I can do it for people who were patrons for 6+ months or something like that#that could be nice!#something I've been thinking about haha#clearly I think a lot. sorry LMAO#how do you write if not thinking all the fuckin time#but yeah I LOVE making merch#and I'm pretty proud of most of my stuff#there's a few things that I'm bummed about#like I accidentally made my ghost pin bigger than I wanted :(#so its like twice as big as I wanted#but it's ok. mean it still looks good its just big#stuff like that.#I am so picky HAHAHAH#oh I also of course like selling books but that doesnt really feel like... the same#theyre sort of on their own level.
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Day After Day | 日复一日
25k | T | Weilan | Case Fic, Undercover Married, Grief
Shen Wei swallows. “And this is why you asked me to—” he makes a vague gesture that means go undercover as your husband “—pretend with you.” Zhao Yunlan comes to a stop, eyes on Shen Wei. “That’s why the cover is a married couple. The reason I’m asking you is because there are no other options for people to go undercover with.” Shen Wei scoffs to give himself an excuse to look away. “You certainly know how to flatter someone, Zhao Yunlan.” Or: Four Haixingren disappear for two months after a stay at a romantic mountain retreat. Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan book a weekend there to find out what happened.
it's finally here!!! my beloved fic for the 520 day guardian reverse exchange! this was written for trobadora, who gave me the most delicious set of ideas to fit into a story. it was so fun.
i have no idea how to describe this fic, frankly - this is, hands down, the most complex and most heartwrenching and most incredible thing i've ever written in my entire life.
here is a list of some things in it: a kiss, a mystery, a change of heart. old chinese people, dark energy world-building, lesbians, big-time character parallels, forgery of documents, rainstorms, rowboats, lollipop symbolism, [redacted], bedsharing, grading, the stupidest undercover name ever. zhao yunlan described with so many light metaphors. shen wei being the most shen wei i could make him.
read Day After Day | 日复一日 on ao3 here!
#guardian#weilan#zhao yunlan#shen wei#zhen hun#镇魂#banner post#520 day reverse exchange#man this fic is just so. its so. guys. i can't even say. this is SO personal and also SO a product of these exact two months of my life#truly this is just MY personal ideal weilan casefic that i lucked into being able to write as a gift fic#i remember talking to d in mid-april coming up w/ the case premise and they were like 'wow this will be complex to write' (paraphrased)#and i was like 'wow yeah ahaha. i love the idea though. maybe i'll just write one part' HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. haha. hah.#now that its done the last month and a half lowkey feels like a fever dream. the total count of hours i was literally sitting and writing i#a frankly alarming number when considering it happened in the context of a month#god this was SO FUCKING FUN though. i got to think SOOOOOOOO much about 1) including so much chinese stuff from my childhood in here#and 2) making references to chinese chengyu that i learned over the last four months of nonstop watching cdramas#and 3) soooooooooooooooo much additional meaning in the names of everybody and everything possible haha#anyway. mwah THANK YOU I LOVE YOU to everybody who is being so fucking niceys to me about this fic. i love you!! you are making me so happy#520 day fic 2024#<- if you want to see cut scenes from this / earlier versions of this fic. they are in this tag#my fic
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Every day so many times a day I remind myself that I cannot keep avoiding everything there is to life and every day I am so scared and I say but just one more time. And I’ve been doing this forever. It is so hard anxiety is so much harder than everyone says it is mine is completely ruining my life it’s horrible. It’s so horrible
#and all it is in other peoples eyes is like.. stupidly being scared to make a phone call or whatever#like haha yea it’s scary but get over it man don’t even worry. right. just stop worrying. I CASAANT#for the record I’m not at all scared of phone calls but ykwim. this disorder dictates every single choice I make every single day even to#the tiniest detail. it’s insane. I feel insane#I’m 21 and I still feel 16 because my debilitating avoidance has stunted my growth as a productive person#and a social person especially. it’s horrible#I’m glad that you guys seem to manage it but I’ve dug myself so so deep into this it’s all I base my life around even if I hate it and#realize it#and I hate having to pretend that it doesn’t affect me to literally everyone I know because nobody seems to understand much less RELATE TO#what I have going on because it’s so severe. it just makes me an even bigger recluse. which makes me more anxious. god#I’ve never talked to someone with social anxiety as severe as mine. I truly feel like a lost cause
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#posting a selfie because it's such a good hair day for me haha#took this before i headed to babysit 🫡#i need ramble a bit —#i haven't been able to go for a jog in nearly two weeks already#one i feel exhausted afterwards and i always choose to do my school assignments and then rest or nap/sleep the rest of the day#and two i have been feeling lazy about it? maybe it's my body telling me i need rest?#or maybe it's because it's my bday month and in a few days i just feel lethargic and kind of sad? i shouldn't tho ya know?#i want to and will remain grateful about this year and my bday in general#even if i don't necessarily celebrate it at all#i still want this month to be a good day and especially on my bday#so i am choosing THAT#after babysitting i am going to take a couple of my exams go for a jog and then come back home and cook myself a bomb ass meal#boom#gonna end this week and month in general on a productive note and doing things that bring me joy and peace#😊😊😊#okay#if anyone made it this far#hi 👋🏽☺️#hope you have a wonderful day#!!#it's a me#personal#good hair days rock
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It is interesting with Antoinette. I could see it being that Lestat genuinely had affection for her, even if he would certainly have killed her had Louis personally asked him to -- or it could be that she was just familiar, and he wanted the closest thing to intimacy he could get, so someone who knew him was better than someone who didn't. And the whole possibility that she reminded him of Gabrielle in some ways...
(x)
Yeah, I totally agree, anon.
I actually unfortunately suspect that Antoinette isn't a character the show will really come back to, and I think I'm one of three people that cares about that, haha, but where I tend to land on her relationship with Lestat is the fact that neither Lestat nor Louis actually have any friends.
That's not to say that I think Lestat and Antoinette were just friends, I don't, they obviously fucked a lot (which like, also comes down to the fact that Lestat doesn't know how to have friends he doesn't fuck, haha), but I do think the reality is that Lestat and Louis have very different racial and cultural contexts, hobbies and areas of interest which aren't things they can easily share with each other, especially not in early-1900s America, and I think that's a bigger factor in their relationship breakdown than either will admit to.
It's why Louis' able to reconnect with Jonah so quickly - they might be leading different lives, but they have more overlapping factors than they don't, whereas he and Lestat have less than they do - and for Lestat as a white theatre kid, he needs to be around other performers. I think with Antoinette, she's obviously a talented vocalist and an ambitious artist, and I can see that genuinely just being company that Lestat wants to be close with. They probably talk shit about crap theatre they've seen and do vocal runs together and fuck, and honestly for a part of Lestat, that would lowkey be a dream relationship, haha. Do I think they have a deep emotional connection? No, but given even Louis' willing to admit she's talented, and his own complex relationship with not succeeding as an artist, I wonder how much that factors in to his portrayal of her and his insecurities around their relationship (to say nothing of the fact that she's both white and a woman).
This feels like it's going on a hundred tangents, haha, but my point is maybe they'd step out on each other less or descend into unforessen levels of chaos and destruction if they both had a few friends they could talk about their identities and niche interests with!!
#this is not actually related to your ask but i've been thinking a bit about different family make ups lately#and while i was hungover this morning after yoga and getting breakfast with my mum#i told her about how one of our production coordinators at work - let's call her A - had a baby last year with her wife#and they had a very good friend who's gay who became their sperm donor#and he's like#LOVING being fun uncle and A and i were talking about it the other day at work because she was genuinely shocked because he's#been very open about how much he does not want kids of his own and it caused a lot of hesitancy with her and her wife taking him up on offe#but how much he's stepped up#she said he's been amazing#and he's been so helpful and supportive and done so much running around for them when they've been knocked sideways with having a newborn#and he loves being with his little niece who's actually his biological daughter and getting to give her back#and A was like we were close before but now he's my daughter's uncle and now he truly feels like my brother#and A and her partner and him are already talking about having another baby in the next year or so#idk why your ask made me remember this#maybe i was just thinking about it still after talking to mum about it over breakfast#but idk maybe it comes back to this whole idea that queer family units are inherently unconventional in our current structure#and applying conventional tropes to them doesn't work#which again has nothing to do with your ask haha just something i'm thinking about#lestat asks#iwtv asks
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Having fun, more and more! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Unicorn Tails#Dangersoft#Villainsona#Just Desserts#True Villainy AU#Okay fine I'll talk about the really silly fixation I accidentally fell into lol#It's all Jello's ISaT stream's fault they mentioned Wall Day and I got curious!#Actually it was Jello reciting Will's line as the mad cultist in a kids' unicorn game that got me interested lol he just went all out#And it really is a kids' game! Like yeah some of the lore is dark and ominous and weird but it's genuinely just a nice unicorn game#And the character customization is cute and you can buy a spider hat! I want a spider hat#I'm fully onboard at this point lol I intend to buy it for realsies and play as an alicorn and go hunting for the Estranged Rabbit#Dangersoft is great of course <3 Neon green horse love that for her#Some happies <3 I've been quite happy lately :D Big Loves yay <3#If there is an article of clothing I can hide in I will take the opportunity every time lol#Regularly hiding in hoods and collars - it just feels nice!#More Charm more cutes <3 I've had the idea of her cutting her hair for S3 since she was created but I still don't Actually have anything lol#She's just cute and I love her! She's adorable no matter what she looks like#I think I was thinking something along the lines of her long hair being used against her in her True Villain form#Like how it's normally up and ice cream shaped but Kaiein wanted it down and it gave her a different look#But short it can't look like that :) She's always light and fluffy if it's short! I like it <3#Speaking of - her candle wings popping out from her Kaiein wings!#It's weird to see her with her hair down and glasses on in that context haha#I do like the symbolism of dark inky wings being cut through with fire and light :) Still drippy tho lol#And rounding off with a Just Desserts bee <3 I posted that one JD Pet Bee a while ago but I think bees are also wild animals#They're important for sweets production and pollination! Fruit-based sweets need them!#I personally really love bees I think they're the cutest but I also get really stressed about buzzing :'D#Does Not help that my hair is a colour they're attracted to so they come up right next to my head to investigate agh#So Charm is the same! Loves bees! They're wonderful and important and cute! But the buzzing...#She's being very brave tho <3
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i see yalls asks but unfortunately i just got assigned a biiiiiig project at work at the start of this week. plus mid-year performance check is next month so obviously i really want to do well, and that means i'm probably going to do extra effort & focus on that... even tho i don't really want to lmao
anyway i'm probably going to be somewhat(?) inactive for the time being, sorry 🥲🙇🏻♀️
#a psa from rin#sigh i know everyone's tired of this and i'm tired of it too i just want to sit and draw or write all day haha#what a dream it is to just quit work and rest for like a year without it being detrimental to your cv the next time you look for work#and it's double the 'fun' for me bc to work overseas you need to have a working visa and it's... not a guarantee you can get it even if the-#-company wants you here#i love my manager and my team but sometimes we get ridiculous projects that shouldn't even come to our team (in my opinion) and it sucks#literally it should be a priority feature so product team should be the one doing this but noooooo it should go to us#bc no bandwith. even though it's a priority feature. we know how to prioritize so well#yep#sigh#ah well#sometimes it do be like that ;) ok rant over back to work i go#i hope everyone have a good rest of the week and had fun with the natlan livestream. idk when i'm gonna even watch that.
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i’ve finally finished it thank god. physics, you and i have a very toxic relationship that we need to fix asap.
#i don’t have the energy to celebrate but yay i guess 😭#thank you for bridgerton s2 for keeping me company haha#is it weird that i’m contemplating to just read until 5 am came around#so like no sleep#but i’m scared if i go to sleep now i’ll oversleep#no i’m talking crazy#but like ugh it’s tempting because i can’t seem to do anything productive during the day anymore#you know what never mind#ignore this#anyways#physics#nadirants
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...
#there's something really beautiful about experiencing the weather patterns of a new place#where i live now. its not like where i grew up. not like the foothills of Appalachia but its more familiar than the Chihuahuan desert was#when i go home to ohio everythings so green. so green. unimaginably green and the towns are in the woods. the hills roll#and trees billow deciduous and packed so tightly the treeline is like a wall of plant matter. here there are trees but they are tall and#evergreen. patchy in places like shrubs in the desert. the grass grows green but also pale tan and dead. houses are routed in valleys#between mountains. they're made of wood and not stucco but they still look strange and the landscape is crumpled together tall. and there's#water. it rains. days can be dreary and gray with drizzle. i forgot what thats like. when a single low stratus cloud blocks out thewhole sk#and fog clings to the trees. my school bus used to drive by a lake where thr fog was so thick i didnt kno how the driver could see the road#but somehow i forgot how much joy suspended water vapor gives me living in a place where when it rains it pours so hard the streets flood#and the greedy ground drinks the landscape dry. but there are new things as well. here smoke rolls up over thr mountains and gets stuck in#the valleys so that the weather forcast reads: Smoke for days on end. im used to tornado warnings and heat warnings and dust storm warnings#but ive never expected Smoke as a type of weather. and im sure there's more to experience. ive only been here like 3 weeks. its not as gree#as home. the storms dont seem to get quite so violent. the woods are so full of bears that its an active threat. but its not the desert#and while ill miss the shapes of desert plants and little lizards. when i look up at the pine and spruce trees i feel like i can breathe a#little easier. well see how i feel once the long cold winter sets in haha#but i dunno. part of me still longs for a violent thunderstorm. one where u can feel the temperature drop and u csn feel it building all da#one that bends the trees and smells like ozone. it was never like that in thr southwest and im not sure that happens here#but maybe thats just a desire for chaos and violence as a product of my pathological internal control. i cant be spontaneous so let nature#bring the fear to me. some of my favorite memories are watching lightning strikes#so it goes i suppose#unrelated#listen. is it fucked up to have ohio nostalgia? maybe so. but in my defense i grew up in the pretty part of ohio lol
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i'm going to start blocking any post about makeup fr it makes me feel so dumb :')
#it's like the 4th tonight#i know the makeup industry is bad#but it's frustrating idk#i've heard so many men criticizing me for not being natural or for wearing too much eyeliner#and now i'm also being told i am a loser for it when i log in here#anyway i'll shut up. i need to read or do something productive. tumblr is frustrating to me these days haha 👋
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