#gonna end this week and month in general on a productive note and doing things that bring me joy and peace | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sigomaru · 9 months ago

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i incoherently ramble about how working on this was like on my art blog:

i left this out to dry for a few days, so now that it has indeed been a few days here are gifs of shots i liked in the final thing

shots i like didn't mean i actually liked working on them though (at the time the shot of old men running from the dog felt like a cop out to me). production is a wild thing. still, keeping the words of Miku of Hatsune true to heart, 'learn to complete things', i still had fun working on this overall!

when i was working on this, i had...less than a month to finish this. i thought that was fine, i had worked on music videos for school in much tighter schedules (the video with the song about kisaragi station was done in under a week)

did i mention that i'm god-awful at predicting how long it takes me to finish things?

the entire time i was really worried that my lack of proper planning beforehand would make the video incomprehensible to anyone but myself. would people question the dog? are people gonna notice the scenes i scrimped on? is valjean too passive in here, and so on and forth. but one thing i learned from other things i've made is that most of the time, i'm the only one who cares about stuff like that. as long as the story in the video is cohesive, it's probably ok, and people generally fill in the blanks themselves.

genuinely, i was blown away by the positive responses i got on the video, and especially people picking up on deliberate choices i made with the imagery! if people are able to get the symbolism i used in the video, then it will all have been worth it in the end. that being said i won't talk too much about what this and that means because i like seeing what people make of this

but past me didn't realise that people would receive this video that well, so the entire time, i had to ignore that corner of my brain worrying about the final output, internally chanting 'learn to complete things' over and over in my head.

again, my lack of proper planning scared me a little, because. well. the thing was barely storyboarded at all, save for a few scenes. and what i did storyboard had a lot of complex motions that i had to sacrifice to get it out by the end of the week.

(my pre-production stuff looks better than this i swear i just slack off if i alone am my own production crew) for example, that scene where they were eating was supposed to have this bit where the soup flashes back at an angry prisoner valjean. i was going to try to keep the Soup but at that point i was establishing a routine in the video, and i tried to rationalise dropping the shot with 'the second time they're eating, we don't get a soup shot, so it'd be weird to get a soup shot here if i'm trying to show a mundane daily life'.

on the note of barely storyboarded, the visuals for the first chorus were a nightmare to work on. in fact, they were the last part of the video to be completed! other scenes weren't fully boarded either (latter half of the second verse, bridge, first half of the final chorus) but i at least had some idea of what to do for them--the second verse is flashback zone and the final chorus was always going to have valjean running towards a falling javert with a shot that would connect directly from the bridge. and any grand idea i had in my head was easy to distill into something workable in a short amount of time.

but the first chorus? oh christ. absolutely head empty no thoughts. had a great starting shot with valjean nearly getting chomped but trying to transition into any other shot just felt so awkward. one earlier iteration was going to have valjean taming the wolf, but it would never come into play again in any of the later scenes. another iteration was going to have valjean attack the wolf for javert, but that made javert too much of a damsel. at some point i ended up coming up with that final shot for that scene where they hide in an alleyway, and then the trouble came with connecting the first and the last shots in a way that looked cool. like i said, working on it i felt like the way i handled it was a cop-out, but honestly, i think the editing portion saved it in the end. sometimes i forget just how much editing can add to shots that look limp when first drawn.

honestly, me talking about the first chorus just felt like

speaking of limp drawings, here are what the dog chomps used to look like before i added all those effects.

it's not so much a 'crunch' more than it is a 'nom'.

so to end this off--this sent my soul in the next dimension to finish. but i had fun and after a cooldown period i will do something like this again (i have two ideas in the backburner)

...

...as for the vocaloid cover, uh, there's not really much to say other than the fact that i was debating between two versions? between the masculine and the realistic one, the masculine one won as you can hear in the video.

normally this is the part where i make some kind of caption that's funny or related to the video, but honestly i'm just so glad i got this done in time

anyway happy valvert week part 2. the song is 命の食べ方 by eve

@valvertweek

#javert #jean valjean #valvert #les mis #les miserables #it's a video but it's still art #<- that's gonna be my new video tag from now on on here #if i do this sort of...post-commentary for future projects as well; i'll come up with a tag retroactively #but for now i think sharing work experiences is good

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duckydeathly · 1 year ago

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Upcoming Patreon/General Art Plans

Hi all! I posted a public Patreon post going over some things I have in store for my art in the foreseeable future. I know Tumblr isn't kind to links, so I'll be copy+pasting the article under a cut.

The post goes over things relating to commissions, Patreon, a future online shop, and my art direction in general. So if any of that interests you, I'd suggest checking it out! Thanks in advance ^^

(Though the Patreon post has an exclusive WIP comic at the end, so check it out there if you wanna see it!)

Commission Pricing:

A couple of months ago, I announced that I would be increasing my commission prices in July. July has come and gone and I have yet to do so simply because I've been preoccupied with other work. I still intend to increase my prices but will do so sometime later this month instead. In the previous post I made, I attached a new commission sheet with the proposed price increase. The pricing on this sheet is NOT finalized. Unfortunately, with the cost of pretty much everything increasing, I may need to increase the prices a little more than what was stated in the sheet. Not by too much, of course, but it's still worth noting. It's important for me to be open and transparent about this decision to not catch anyone off guard. With me delaying the price increase, hopefully, it will give folks a chance to commission me with the current prices before I officially implement this change. Thank you for understanding!

TL;DR: Commission prices were supposed to increase in July but have been delayed to later this month.

New Patreon tiers/rewards coming soon!

For those who are already pledged to my Patreon or are considering doing so, I have some exciting news for you! I'm currently working on introducing some new tiers to my Patreon. In addition to this, I also intend to implement new rewards for those who are in certain tiers or higher. This includes physical rewards! I am still figuring out the specifics, but my goal is to have these new features implemented sometime within the next month or so (September-October.) One last thing: It's been a long while since I've done a Monthly Patreon Poll piece. I'm happy to announce that starting this month, I will be starting them up again. Expect a poll sometime this week ~ (For patrons only!)

TL;DR: I will introduce new Patreon tiers/rewards for current and new patrons. I will also be resuming my Patreon-exclusive monthly polls this month.

Online shop coming Fall 2023:

After years of wishing to do so, I'm at a place where I can finally start planning on reopening an online shop to sell merch! I'm gonna start off with a soft launch featuring a small selection of products at first to test the waters. I'm thinking I have a limited number of goods sold via Ko-Fi. If that goes well, then I could look into opening on Storenvy or Shopify with more products. I'd like to offer both fan work and original designs, so hopefully I can offer a little something for everyone ^^ I don't have an exact date in mind but my goal is to get this going sometime in the fall.

TL;DR: I am hoping to do a soft launch for a new online shop sometime this coming fall. It will feature original designs and fan art.

General Art Ideas:

The last thing I'd like to touch upon is some ideas I have in mind for my general art direction. Something I'd really like to do is develop my existing characters further, especially my personas. Just something to bring out me and my character's personalities more so that my pieces have more depth than just visual appeal. Comics, animations, and other experimental pieces come to mind. In general, I'd like to step out of my comfort zone more and make some more meaningful connections with other like-minded folks (while still maintaining boundaries.) One way I would especially like to do this is by streaming art and video games. I don't have a time frame on this stuff like the other sections mentioned but I'd love to get these things going sooner rather than later.

TL;DR: I'm aiming to develop my art and characters even further. I also want to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there more with activities such as streaming. No date for these things yet but hopefully soon!

---

If you've managed to make it this far into the post, I'd like to thank you! Moving to my new living environment has opened up some opportunities for me that I'd like to take advantage of. I've been stuck in a rut for quite a while but am hoping to finally take a much-needed leap. This will hopefully bring me to even further heights. I hope you'll come along on this journey with me ^^ I'll do whatever I can to make sure it's worth it.

#patreon #art #artists on tumblr #commissions

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thescrapbookingscientist · 2 years ago

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Biweekly Media Roundup

- Trigun (Anime) - Ah yes a new hyper fixation for the month, I’ve been watching both the OG series and Stampede after being enticed by spoilers of some alien activity, something I had completely forgotten about from when I originally watched it back in middle school. I like both for different reasons, and desperately want to do a comparison of what aspects do and don’t work for each adaptation given the themes each is trying to convey. For a quick thought I would say that OG does a great job of fleshing out it’s world and central cast as interesting/likable concepts while Stampede is doing a good job expanding upon the stories philosophical arguments and humanizing (haha) the main villain. At the moment I do prefer the original, both for it’s more likeable world and how that lends itself to the “All people deserve a chance as people will improve when offered kindness” message, but to be fair to Stampede it’s far from a finished product and it’s most recent episode has been it’s most solid yet, so we’ll see where it goes. Really hope the theory that Roberto is Milly’s father comes true, I miss her.

- Sense 8 (TV) - Finally finished Sense 8, debating on whether I’ll write up a full review ranking each characters storyline from best to worst. It definitely had it’s issues but I’m glad I watched it, the sci-fi concept was pretty unique, the various international locations and fun framing made it quite nice to look at, I appreciated the focus on the wide spectrum of sexualities, races, and identity, and in general it just had a fun cast of characters with various interesting plotlines. That being said, the main thing I’ll remember about it for awhile is how in the finale, my sister commented how surprising it was that the 2.5 hour special hadn’t featured a single sex scene in a series notorious for them, only for it to end with a 10-minute-long sex scene featuring every major character in the show intercut to look like one giant orgy, with the final shot of the entire series being a pan over to a used dildo. Wow. No notes, what a fitting end.

- Next In Fashion (TV) - “Watching” is strong word for what I’m doing with this, which is fast forwarding through to see the completed outfits at the end. Still, I do enjoy seeing what kinds of fashion people create when given specific prompts, it’s fun. I basically never agree with the judges though.

- Ranking of Kings (Anime) - Hey boy it’s me the haunted mirror from your childhood. Drink this potion made from your liquified dead father boy, It will grant you magical powers, believe me boy I would never lie to you.

- Gintama (Anime) - Yup.

- Welcome to Demon School! (Anime) - Weekly dose of wholesome fun, does a great job at making me love every single character.

- Last Week Tonight (TV) - We’re back! The story on AI awareness about killed me, I think more company's should employ robots that try to convince customers to leave their wives for them.

- The S Classes That I Raised (Webcomic) - Yup.

- Persona 5 Royal (Video Game) - Very funny to me that no less than 5 of the ladies confident storylines revolve around rekindling their connection with a close female friend. It’s like the writers were like hmm, so what is something women love in which they’ll base their entire lives around? I got it. Other women. Like based my dude but there are other women-centric stories out there. Also, if you’re gonna feed me all these wlw you gotta stop cockblocking me in my attempts to date Yusuke.

As usual I’m also keeping up with The Greatest Estate Developer, Land of the Lustrous, The Vampire Dies In No Time, and Buddy Daddies.

Listening to: I Really Want To Stay At Your House cover by Lunity, Brutal by Olivia Rodrigo, TOMBI by Kvi Baba, My Kind by Hilary Duff, This Is Not a Party by The Wombats, Odds Are by Barenaked Ladies, Nothing is Going Right by Meiyo, Snakes by PVRIS, The Sound by The 1975, Rule #4 by Fish in a Birdcage, They’re Only Human cover by Annapantsu, Kiss Me, Son of God by They Might Be Giants, Still Feel by Half-Alive, My Eyes by Neil Patrick Harris

#weekly roundup #My posts

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piratesfromspace · 3 years ago

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Finance Management (Deckard Shaw/Reader)

Deckard Shaw (Fast & Furious) x Reader

Word count: 1.9k CW: mention of food & alcohol, smut

Female reader

Note: This short fic has been inspired by a friend of mine who created the character of the financial advisor of mister Shaw. Also there is not enough fics with Deckard Shaw so here we are.

Read on Ao3

MASTERLIST

“Mister Shaw, it’s me again, I’m so sorry but I really need you to call me back please. It’s important. Thank you.”

You let out a deep sigh as you hang up. Handling the finances of rich people is a lucrative and thrilling job, but damn it sometimes those clients of yours are annoying. Especially Mister Shaw.

First, he’s annoyingly busy and unreachable. Most powerful people are, but he can disappear for weeks on end without so much as sending an email.

Second, he’s also infuriatingly handsome and smart and funny. And he has an impeccable sense of style. He has nothing in common with the other clients of your firm, mainly old and boring men, whose only conversation subject is their money and how they hate their wives.

And finally, the worst thing about him is how good of a lover he is. You found out half a year ago, when you ended up in his bed after what should have been a regular business dinner. It was a mistake of course. One that could have cost you your career because it was a very serious breach of contract to sleep with a client.

You never told a soul, and you promised yourself to never do it again. But it was still hard to forget the feeling of him pressed against you, of his hands holding your waist, of his mouth between your thighs...

You try to focus again on your task and stretch your legs, kicking out your high heels. Feet bare on the soft carpet, you walk to the floor-to-ceiling window of your posh office, taking a second to admire the view, as the final rays of the sun disappear over the lake, and Geneva lights up under you. It’s breath-taking, really. But it also means you’re once again staying way too late at the office. Your assistant has gone home a couple hours ago, and your colleagues are either on vacation or on business trips, making you the only person on the building’s 7th floor. You still have a few things to finish so you plop on your leather chair and get back to work, hoping to make it home before 11pm.

That’s when you hear it: the familiar *ding* of the elevator’s door, at the end of the corridor. You tense immediately. You’re not waiting for anyone, and the security guards always use the stairs when completing their patrol.

Steps are coming down your way, and you grab your phone, ready to dial for the security team. And then you recognize his silhouette through the polished glass wall. There is a knock on your door before it opens to reveal Deckard Shaw himself. He’s wearing an expensive suit and an even more expensive watch, a very light stubble is highlighting his perfect jawbone and his deep grey eyes bear a mischievous glint. Handsome, as always.

“Mister Shaw…” you stammer.

“You know you can call me Deckard.” His stupidly sexy British accent and cocky smile will be the death of you.

He’s been in your office for two seconds and you already want to slap him in the face - or climb him like a tree, you can’t really decide.

“It’s quite late, Mister Shaw, you scared me. Anything I can do for you?” you insist on saying his family name, in a feeble attempt to maintain a professional façade.

“You needed to see me.” it’s more a comment than a question, and you’re suddenly reminded of the dozen of unanswered phone calls you made trying to reach him.

“Yes… yes, that’s right, but honestly you could have called tomorrow morning.”

“I’d rather see you in person.” he answers, looking you straight in the eyes. You can feel yourself blushing under his gaze. “Wanted to make sure you’re alright. You’re working too much you know.” he says with a soft smile, as his eyes drift down to your sore bare feet and then to the discarded heels under your desk.

What a condescending prick, you think. But at the same time, he’s right and his care seems somewhat genuine. It will not make you forget you almost lost your job because of him though.

“How did you know I was still here tonight?” you purposely redirect the attention on him, rather than you.

“Well, let’s say I would not leave the woman in charge of my assets without any... supervision.”

“Is that a polite way to say you’ve been spying on me?” you retort dryly.

“Oh I love when you’re getting all angry and snobbish, your French accent is even cuter.”

You’re gonna murder him. You really really want to tell him to go fuck himself, but he’s the one responsible for a very generous part of your paycheck, so you have to keep quiet.

“I would be more comfortable if we keep our conversation strictly professional, Mister Shaw.”

“Everything you want, dear.”

-----

“Mmph, fu-ck... Deckard, don’t stop”

The professional attitude has been long forgotten, since Deckard has pulled you onto his lap on the velvet couch of his presidential suite at the Four Seasons hotel, where you were supposed to only review the important documents he needed to see. But when the room service had brought a very nice bottle of Scotch, you knew you were screwed. You could not refuse a drink, and the warmth of alcohol combined with the warmth of his hand slightly brushing against your thigh had overcome all your resolve.

You are now sprawled on the king-size bed, moaning his name as Deckard Shaw is destroying your sanity very methodically. One foot on the floor, one leg bent on the edge of the bed, he’s pounding into you, holding your hip with one hand, and circling your clit with the other. His pace is calculated, not too fast so you can feel every inch of him, but not too slow so your nerves don’t have any respite, and it’s driving you crazy. Hands tangled in the dark silk sheets beneath you, you try to catch your breath to no avail.

“I won’t stop darling. Not until I can feel you coming again all over me.” His voice is like heavy honey, dripping all over your senses, drowning you in sweet and sinful promises.

You want to close your eyes to focus on the overwhelming feelings, but the view in front of you is too good to be missed. He looks like some demi-god, bathed in the subdued light of the room, broad and muscular chest, abs perfectly drawn. What is his job again? You vaguely remember him talking about serving a few years in the military when he was younger, but he is still definitely hitting the gym on a regular basis.

His muscles flex when he brings you down on his thick cock a little more sharply than before, and you keen as he hits that perfect spot inside of you. You can feel your orgasm build again, and so can he.

“You’re close, princess, aren’t you?”

You mewl in response and he chuckles darkly, keeping up with his ruthless assault on your most sensitive parts. He angles his fingers just a bit differently on your clit, and keeps thrusting into you, stretching you so perfectly you can’t remember the last time someone fucked you this good - wait , actually you can, it was a few months ago and it was by mister Deckard “annoyingly perfect” Shaw.

“Come on, I know you want to, I’ll keep going until you give me one more anyway princess…”

And that's it. You’re gone. Back arching off the bed, you come hard, harder than the first time, clenching around him. You barely hear him hiss in pleasure as you spasm helplessly on the soft sheets, the silk feeling almost cool against your burning skin.

----

“Good morning darling."

You open an eye, natural light is flooding the room, as is the delicious smell of fresh coffee and tea. At the foot of the bed, you spot a room service trolley loaded with breakfast treats and through the open door of the bathroom, you can see Deckard is looking at you in the mirror reflection while buttoning a crisp white shirt.

"Your tea is ready. Black, no milk, right?”

He's right and it's annoying because is there anything this man messes up?

"What time is it?" You ask, suddenly remembering you have a busy schedule today.

"You have 27 minutes to eat and get ready, so I can drop you off at your office in time for your first call of the day."

He knows about your tea preferences and your professional agenda, of course he does , he was not joking when mentioning the whole "spying-on-you" situation, or "supervision" as he liked to call it. He needs to stop it, but you decide to keep this discussion for another day.

You stretch, and rise to put on the hotel bathrobe, sighing at the thought of having to wear the same clothes as yesterday. Last you saw them, they were scattered on the floor all over the room and your underwear were positively ruined.

"The concierge was very helpful this morning, thanks to him I got you a few clothes delivered for today." Deckard adds as he pours himself a cup of coffee from the cart and gestures to the leather armchair where a couple of bags doning logos of luxury brands are perched.

You make your way to the packages, and open the first one to reveal a sophisticated dress, fitted and sexy, but not too much that it would be inappropriate as office wear. The second bag is a thoughtful selection of high end make-up products. And the last one contains a gorgeous set of lacy lingerie, nothing too raunchy but sexy nonetheless. Of course everything is in the right size.

"Thank you..." you whisper, a little stunned. The assortment must have cost him a couple grands at the very least - not that he can't afford it because you're well placed to be sure he can, but still, he did not have to do this.

You have to suppress a smile, because damn he's being annoyingly perfect once more, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction to reveal he was right when promising you could stay the night instead of going home and still look fresh for your day at work.

"I was thinking, I'm free tonight, so maybe we can finally review those documents, you know the ones you were supposed to show me before you jumped on me on the couch last night?" Deckard states as he bites in an apple in front of the window, casually looking at lake Geneva glinting in the bright morning sun.

You blush unwillingly, struggling to find a reply that would save you from admitting you had failed at enforcing your usual work ethic.

"I'm kidding dear!" He barks in a laugh. "I know enough to trust you on this venture, you have my approval to go on with the investment." He continues more seriously.

You open your mouth to answer but he's quicker.

"I'm not kidding about being free though, so what about dinner and then we can see where this takes us…"

When you don't answer immediately, he turns to look at you. Maybe he's realizing the situation can be awkward and precarious for you since you're technically working for him.

"You can say no, I won't take any offense." He adds without irony.

"Yes..." You finally answer, tip toeing toward him until you can snatch the apple he was eating from him. He protests but you shush him.

"...Yes, I would like this very much..."

As he starts to protest again, you take a big bite from the fruit with a knowing smile.

"...but only for dinner. Nothing more."

"You'll be the death of me." Deckard says, falsely irritated, his voice dropping lower.

"At least the feeling is mutual, mister Shaw ..."

#deckard shaw #deckard shaw x reader #female reader #fast and furious #hobbs and shaw #deckard shaw fanfiction #hobbs and shaw fanfiction #deckard shaw / reader #jason statham #jason statham imagine #smut #hobbs and shaw smut #deckard shaw reader insert #fast and furious fanfiction

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freakcliff · 3 years ago

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The Not-Really-Official Mighty Nein Ao3 Ship Stonks

[image id: a graph showing the popularity of various critical role campaign two ships on ao3 over the course of campaign 2 /end id]

Anyways! I decided to go through all the fics written in the Critical Role tag from the start of Campaign 2 to the end, and see how the general shipping landscape has changed throughout the campaign!

I gathered together the most popular (to my knowledge) cr2 ships on Ao3 and looked at the numbers month by month (I wish I could have done it weekly, but that would have been simply too much) to put together a spreadsheet and a bunch of graphs!

I’ll include a link to my whole google sheet on this in a reblog, because the last time I did something similar for Vox Machina, tumblr ate it and I got like 7 notes for all my hard work.

More graphs (I made individual ones for each pairing for readability) and a bit of me talking about the stuff I found out under the cut

[Image id: a similar graph to the one above, but where the top one shows fic numbers by month, this graph shows cumulative numbers /end id]

Here’s a cumulative graph of the same thing as the one on the top of this post. It’s easier to read than the first one, but it doesn’t show how different ships gained and lost popularity over time nearly as well.

Onto the Ships! (Pardon the obvious extent to which I’ve been paying more attention to some ships than others and the gaps in info that come from such. This is just a project I did for fun, so my data analysis skills are far from perfect. However, if you know more than me and would like to provide insight, please do!)

[image id: a bar graph of how many Beau/Yasha fics have been posted to Ao3, month by month from January 2018 to June 2021 /end id]

Beauyasha is currently the ship with the most fics in the Critical Role Ao3 tag (let’s go lesbians!!), with 1849 total fics, as of yesterday, July 15th, 2021. This seems to come from having a steady fic production over all of the campaign rather than being particularly popular right at this moment.

The most noticeable things here are how the fic count climbs slowly until after July 2018, when it drops off. I suspect this is because at that point in the campaign, Yasha had been gone for a bit and was gonna be gone for a while, so people lost interest in the ship. The second big jump is in May 2021, which is when Beauyasha week is hosted. Beauyasha week has been going on since 2020, if i remember correctly, but it didn’t cause enough of a jump in fic making to be noticeable back in 2019. You can also see how fics generally rose in numbers after hiatus and towards the end of the campaign as Beau and Yasha were looking more and more like they were gonna become canon/endgame (and eventually did).

[image id: a bar graph similar to the one above, this one cataloguing the number of Fjord/Caduceus fics over Campaign 2 /end id]

This ship is definitely the least popular one I’ve got here, and looking back I could have gone without including it, but I did all this data collection, so, oh well.

Notable points on here: Cad appears in July 2018, in episode 28, there are a few Fjord/Caduceus fics. I assume this is because of fandom doing as fandom does and shipping new characters with other characters as soon as they appear. Nothing much interesting happens till June-December 2019, which iirc is when most of the Angel of Irons arc and Fjord’s leaving Uk’otoa + joining the Wildmother arc is. The highest numbers are in April 2020, when Fjorclay week was held, and things drop off almost entirely soon after Cad is confirmed to be aroace in ep 114, in late November 2020.

[image id: another bar graph, similar to the bar graphs above, this one showcasing Ao3 numbers for Essek/Caleb]

This is the most fun one to me, partly because I’m incredibly biased, and partly because you can really see a lot of plot points in the show in the fic numbers here. If you look at the top graph with all the ships together, you can see that Shadowgast was the most popular ship by the end of the campaign in terms of people creating content for it currently, despite still being under Beauyasha and Widomauk in total numbers. (This makes sense, as both others have almost a 60 episode head-start.) (It’s probably still the most popular now, but i didn’t collect anything for July.)

There’s nothing from when Essek appears in episode 57 in early April. There’s a relatively big spike in fics from April to May, when Caleb rolls a 12 on persuasion and Essek teaches him some spells, despite the low roll. Stuff is relatively steady till a big uptick in fics in March 2020 (Episode 97 aired right at the end of February). The next big spike is in April, which is when Essek joined the Mighty Nein in Aeor, and after that in May, when Shadowgast Week was held. (Like Beauyasha, Shadowgast week has been going since 2020, but there wasn’t a noticeable enough spike in fics in 2020 to point out.)

[image id: another bar graph, similar to the bar graphs above, this one showcasing Ao3 numbers for Fjord/Caleb]

This is the point at which my bias shows (again, technically); I don’t really follow any people who were big Widofjord shippers while I knew them, so I have a harder time pointing out interesting things here. This ship has remained pretty consistent throughout the whole run of the Mighty Nein, being a bit more popular at the beginning (from what Liam said in the campaign wrap-up, I guess people were picking up on vibes pretty well.)

The biggest noticeable upticks are in February 2018, when I can’t remember anything interesting happening, though I will admit that I watched early Campaign 2 very long ago, and I don’t tend to notice things being romantic unless they’re directly pointed out. The next big spike in fics is in December 2018, when Fjord and Caleb make the blood pact at Divers Grave. The month with the most fics written is June 2019, when Widofjord week was held. I’m unsure if the week happened again, as there doesn’t seem to be much going on until July 2020. I’m unsure if this is because something happened in July or if it was just the campaign starting up again after hiatus.

[image id: another bar graph, similar to the bar graphs above, this one showcasing Ao3 numbers for Fjord/Jester]

Fjorester!! Out of the three ‘endgame’ ships of Campaign 2, this one is the lowest for total fics on Ao3. In terms of growing popularity, it’s not nearly at the levels of Beauyasha or Shadowgast, but it’s still a good deal higher than any others.

The ship goes pretty steady through most of the campaign, with a bit of a drop after December 2018, which I imagine is because of Jester dropping her initial flirting with Fjord. It ticks up a lot after the hiatus, when Fjorester looks like it’s heading for canon status, and goes up a lot when Fjord and Jester kiss in Episode 118 in December. The last point at which there are a lot of fics is June 2021, which is when Fjorester week is held. (Fjorester week has been going since 2019, but the first one was in late March through early April, and there seems to be none that I can find in 2020)

[image id: another bar graph, similar to the bar graphs above, this one showcasing Ao3 numbers for Beau/Jester]

Beaujester! I can’t think of a lot of interesting things to say about this ship outside of the graph.... It was pretty popular around the middle of the campaign, dropping off till the end when it doesn’t become canon.

Moments here: the highest point is in July 2019, when Beau wears one of Jester’s dresses. If I remember correctly, there were also a few things leading up to that point which could be read as pretty romantic (though Beaujester was definetly a ship in my general circle so I’m somewhat biased on that). In November 2019, fic output jumps up again, as this is when Beau tells Nott about her crush on Jester, in episode 84. Beaujester week is also held in November. There’s a bit of decline before July and August 2020, which I imagine brings numbers up again half because of how Travelercon centered around Jester and also half because the campaign started again after hiatus. Numbers drop off after that as it looks a lot more like Beauyasha and Fjorester are going to become canon over Beaujester.

[image id: another bar graph, similar to the bar graphs above, this one showcasing Ao3 numbers for Caleb/Jester]

Note again that I don’t know anyone who ships Widojest, so I don’t see a lot of it on my dash, ergo I don’t know a lot about it. But! It’s the highest non-canon ship on ao3 under Widomauk, with 1108 fics (as of yesterday), which is quite a lot.

The first notable spike is around December 2018. I can’t seem to pinpoint a moment that caused this? When I asked people on Discord, they thought it was perhaps because Jester sorta dropped her crush on Fjord around then. It makes sense that people might take that as an opportunity to turn to other pairings. The two biggest spikes in this graph are in July 2019, and July 2020, which, as you’ve probably guessed, is when Widojest week is held. Other than that, numbers have been pretty consistent throughout the campaign.

[image id: another bar graph, similar to the bar graphs above, this one showcasing Ao3 numbers for Caleb/Molly]

And here we are at the end of our ship graphs! Widomauk is still the 2nd most popular CR ship on Ao3, with 1725 fics (as of yesterday), and it actually held the top spot for quite a while, despite Molly having been dead for most of that time.

The fics go up in numbers pretty fast from February 2018 (which is when Molly kisses Caleb’s forehead in the gnoll mines in episode 7). They get really high around July 2018, when Molly dies, but go down a bit after that. I’d assume this is most likely because people figured out that Molly probably wasn’t coming back, and the big uptick in fics was half people dealing with Molly’s death and half people writing rez ritual fics and the like, though that’s just speculation. Fics go up in June 2019 because of Widomauk week (I couldn’t find any evidence to Widomauk week happening more than once). There’s an uptick in December 2020, which is around the time that the Tomb Takers start traveling with the Mighty Nein for a bit.

Now for some other things:

[id: 5 sets of photos of the drop-down ‘relationships’ list you can find when filtering a tag in Ao3. They’re labeled ‘top relationships, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and all time,’. Each shows a slightly different assortment and order of Critical Role pairings, romantic and platonic. /end id]

(Sorry about how tumblr absolutely butchers my image quality by the way, you’ll be able to see all these way better in the sheet I’ll link in the reblog.)

Anyways, here’s the top relationships in the CR tag on Ao3 for each year of Campaign 2′s run. Note that these take into account only things written in that year, not things written up till and through that year. It’s pretty cool to look and see how different things have become popular through the years, and I think this best illustrates how what ao3 currently shows as the most popular relationships isn’t a reflection of the current most popular pairings.

Anyways, that’s all I have to say in this tumblr post! As I said, I’m gonna link the google sheet I have all of this on in a reblog, which includes:

the actual numbers in spreadsheet form

all the graphs pictured here, but in readable definition, and actually working (hover over lines to highlight them, and click on points to see the actual numbers)

and a few more notes on when all the important shippy moments happened throughout the campaign next to the numbers

So, at the risk of sounding like I’m telling you to go over to watch the show on Twitch for a live community moderated chat, if you’re interested, you should probably look at my spreadsheet because I spent so long working on it, please!

Also if you like this please talk to me about it! Again, I spent a ridiculous amount of time working on it and I will likely do something like this again whether or not people like it (but if people give me validation I’ll do it.... more? faster? something like that.)

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mrs-gucci · 3 years ago

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Casting Couch {Charlie Barber x Reader}

author’s notes: hello, hello! I was driving home from work the other day and this idea just suddenly took over my entire thought process. so, naturally, I went ahead and wrote it up :)

warnings (what you see here is what you’ll get!): smut. the enemy of my enemy is my ally (with benefits). p in v sex. protected sex. rough oral sex. cum- swallowing.

(possible) tw’s: semi-public sex.

word count: 3.2k

charlie’s taglist peeps! {charlie currently doesn’t have any taglist peeps} my general taglist peeps! @frank-and-honey @shygirl268 @icarusinthesea @gildedstarlight @mrs-zimmerman @soldmysoulagain @roseepossee @pascalisfairyy @I-can’t-draw-faces @ahsoka1 @babbushka @safarigirlsp (if you’d like to be added to or removed from any of my taglists, the link to the google form is HERE or on the top of my masterlist)

Two Years Ago.

“Y/N...she fucking did it again.” Nicole says as she barges through the door of hers and Charlie’s shared brownstone. “She got the fucking TV gig.”

Charlie’s eyebrows furrow a bit before looking up at his wife with an empathetic expression, setting the notebook and pen he’d been using down on the coffee table.

“Bummer. I really thought you had it in the bag.” He says, elbows on his thighs as he leans forward a bit, folding his hands. “There will be other roles; I wouldn’t worry too much. You win some, you lose some; that’s how it goes in this industry. You’ve taken plenty of roles from her.”

She sighs, nodding. “Yeah, I know, but this one I was excited about. And I really thought I had it, too. It just stung a little extra, you know?”

Her husband nods, patting the seat next to him on the couch. “C’mere, sit with me. We’ll have a glass of wine.”

Nicole gives somewhat of a dreadful grimace, a clear sign she really wasn’t interested. Charlie’s been noticing this for the past few months, her disinterest in being with him as much as she usually was, but he figured it was just her being tired. She’s been doing a lot of odd jobs to make some ends meet lately, so it’s probably a result of that.

“Are you sure?” He asks, a twang of longing sadness in his voice.

She nods. “Yeah, I’m just gonna go lay down for a bit.”

Charlie just nods, picking back up his notebook and pen, continuing to review and add to his notes from the day.

“Let me know if you need anything.” He calls after her. “I love you.”

She only offers him a small smile over her shoulder in return before emerging into their bedroom, closing the door immediately behind her.

Present Day.

It feels strange, holding auditions for a female lead. He hasn’t had to do so in almost a decade; just yet another reminder of how much of his life has changed just in the past year.

The divorce had been painful, stressful, and he was honestly more relieved than anything when it finally came to a close, despite it not really turning out the way he’d hoped for in terms of custody over Henry.

Luckily, he’s dove deeper into his one true love, directing, as a way to cope with the loss of everything he’d worked so hard to build for himself; the marriage, the 'American dream’ family and home he wished he’d had growing up.

Now, after six months of weekly therapy appointments and keeping himself busy with work, he’s feeling more like the old Charlie he was back before everything went to shit. Actually, he’s feeling like an even better version of that Charlie, the best version of himself there’s been in a while, perhaps even before he met and married Nicole.

The first audition comes onstage and Charlie can’t decide what’s worse, her off-pitch singing or her monotonous speaking voice.

God, this was going to be a long fucking day.

You’d heard through the grapevine that the famed Broadway director had moved here to LA, and that he’d divorced his witch of a wife, Nicole.

Nicole Barber had been your biggest rival ever since you swiped that first movie role away from her. She hates you, and you don’t particularly like her, either, thus your rivalry began. And it was pretty heated, too; the two of you were always trying to one-up each other.

It really was a back-and-forth battle, her swiping roles from you, you returning the favor; it was a game, to put it simply. Although lately, you’ve been getting more roles than she has, not that you’re complaining, and there’s a part of you that hopes she quits the business for good.

Word got around that Charlie is heading his first LA Broadway production and what better way to hit Nicole close to home than to show up at her ex-husband’s auditions? Even better, what if you got the female lead in her ex-husband’s production? Oh god, that would be fantastic, not only for the rivalry but also for your career.

You’ve been looking to branch out into more theater roles, and this is as good an opportunity as to dip your toe in the theater world water. Plus, you’re not necessarily complaining about having the chance to look at and work with Charlie Barber every day...

So you prepared your piece of dialogue and a section of one of the choice songs, heading over to the theater fifteen minutes before your set audition time. Your knee bounces as you sit in the waiting area, eyes running over your script and lyrics sheet one final time, solidifying it all in your memory.

Your name is called a few minutes later and you head out onto the stage, handing over your headshot and qualifications resume. The agent hands over your profile to the handsome director, but he doesn’t even really look at it, already knowing exactly who you are. A small smirk grazes his lips as he flips to a new page of his notebook, clicking the top of his pen.

“Whenever you’re ready, Miss Y/N.”

After you’re finished, Charlie scribbles one final thing in his notebook before looking up at you. His eyes trail over your figure for a moment, another smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Would you be comfortable coming back for a more intimate audition later this week? Maybe, Friday at four? I would like to get to know you better, see if you meet all of my... qualifications.”

The look in his eye tells you all you need to know about the true motivations behind his question. You nod, biting your lip.

“It’d be my absolute pleasure, Mr. Barber.” You purr.

He shifts in his seat suddenly and quickly crosses one leg over the other before opening up your folder, handing the top sheet to his assistant.

“Diane, go ahead and have Miss Y/N put down all of her contact information.” His gaze never leave you as he speaks to the timid-seeming young woman. “Make sure she gives her personal cell number.”

You pull a pen from your bag on the stage, clicking it open before Diane hands you the paper. As you write every means of contact you can think of, starting with your cell number, you playfully bite the end of the pen and tap it against your bottom lip, something that certainly keeps the already attentive director’s full attention.

“Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mr. Barber.” Your tone is innocent-sounding, but your gaze is anything but. It sends a chill down Charlie’s spine. “I promise I won’t disappoint.”

“Oh, I’m sure you won’t.” A small tug at one corner of his lip accompanies his response. “See you soon, Miss Y/N.”

You offer him a nod.

“Looking forward to it.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In preparation for your upcoming...meeting with Charlie, you take a quick trip to the nearest intimates store, picking up a pretty little lace bra and panty set. Your lingerie wardrobe is long overdue for a bit of sprucing up, anyway.

When the time comes, you slip the fresh lace garments on before putting on your planned outfit, a cute-but-subtly-sexy low cut romper. You put on a light face of makeup, purely for professionalism’s sake, then head out with a small bag which contains various personal items as well as your script and composition page.

He’s not in his backstage office when you arrive, but he comes in a couple minutes later, a strong stench of cigarette smoke trailing behind him as he walks by your chair.

“I apologize for the delay. You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

You shake your head as he takes a seat behind the ratty oak desk, shifting a few small stacks of papers around on the heavily scratched surface.

“No, no I wasn’t waiting long.”

He nods, then folds his hands atop the desk, eyes flickering up to meet yours. For a moment, his eyes dart down to where your cleavage creeps out of your low-cut top.

“You’ve got the part.” Charlie says with a small smile. “You’re by far the best and most qualified audition we had yesterday, and I like the way you carry yourself. You’re exactly the type of person I like working with. Part’s yours if you want it.”

You’re overcome with joy, a wide smile spreading itself across your lips. “I’d love to be a part of this production, Mr. Barber. I’m really excited to get to work with you and the rest of the crew.”

“That’s great, I’m glad to hear it.” He nods, smile widening when as he processes your acceptance. His delighted expression falls after a few moments, replaced by one much more salacious.

“Now that we’ve gotten that part out of the way...I think you know why I called a meeting of such, uh, privacy.”

You smirk softly, shifting around in your seat slightly. “I believe I do.”

His feet plant on the ground as he pushes the rolling office chair out from under the desk, standing up and walking around the desk to tower over you.

“Before anything happens, though, I want you to know that whether or not you do this with me will not affect my casting decision. Even if you decline, you still have the part.”

You nod before standing, quickly and swiftly, stepping forward to press yourself flush against him.

“Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

Your hands rest on his chest, neck craning slightly to look up at him. “Just kiss me, will you?”

He laughs, massive hand moving to cradle the back of your head before he bends down and connects your lips in a passionate kiss. There’s nothing tender or gentle about this embrace, it’s all tongue and teeth, raw lust coursing between your two bodies.

“Couch.” His voice is soft but husky.

“Unzip me first?” You ask, turning around so he can unzip you. He does, then his hands slide down to your hips and pushes you towards the leather couch tucked in the corner of his office.

The material squeaks when you’re laid down on top of it, head resting comfortably on the cushy fabric accent pillow as he climbs on top of you. He presses his hips forward while he tucks his face into the crook of your neck and plants kisses on the skin there.

Your eyes widen as his impressive bulge rubs up against your inner thigh and you quickly wonder how in the world you’ll be able to take him. His crooked teeth scrape over the taut muscles in your neck while his hands pull the backs of your romper down over your shoulders.

His hands grab and grope your breasts beneath where they rest in your nice bra, one you wore just for him, and your back arches slightly up off the cushions with a soft sigh.

A small smile crosses his expression, teeth sinking gently into your neck. “I like the little noises you make for me, Y/N.”

“Yeah?” You smirk, running your hands through his hair. “Then I bet you’ll like my moans, too. If you think you can draw them out of me, that is.”

He laughs softly, sucking and licking at at the place his teeth have just abused. “Is that a challenge?”

“Well, it’s more like an invitation to prove yourself, but ‘challenge’ is also a good word for it.”

Charlie pulls away with a smirk, shaking his head as he sits back on his haunches and begins to unbuckle his belt.

“Brat.”

Once he’s undone his pants and pulled them down enough to expose himself to you, he leans down once more and pulls your romper the rest of the way off, leaving you completely bare, minus your undergarments. His eyes roam your figure for a moment before he dips a hand beneath the patch of black fabric nestled between your thighs.

Your breath hitches as his fingertips swipe over your erect clit, giving it a few little circles before yanking the panties off your hips and down your ankles, tossing them down alongside your previously-discarded romper.

His eyes widen in realization, cheeks flushing pink.

“Do you have any, um, protection?”

You smirk, nodding as you sit up and pat his chest. “Indeed, I do.”

He crawls off of you and you walk over to your purse, grabbing a condom from the mini-stash you keep in your wallet, the one you replenished just minutes before you left the house this afternoon. He takes it from you and pinches the tip, rolling it down his shaft. For a moment, you’re worried that it isn’t going to fit, but he rolls it on with little issue.

His hips press forward, then, entering you slowly but steadily with a soft grunt. You whine as your insides stretch out around him, hands reaching up to tangle in his hair. “S-Shit.”

“You’re really fucking tight, jesus.” He growls between gritted teeth, jaw screwed shut as his hips begin to move. “I haven’t fffucked anyone in a while, Y/N, so I can’t guarantee that I’ll last very long.”

You nod, softly. “It’s alright, Charlie; it’s been a little while for muh--me, too.”

Your eyes flutter shut and your face begins to scrunch up with each time his fat cockhead brushes up against your cervix. His pace increases after a minute or so, a consistent slap-slap-slap noise now echoing off the drywall with each snap of his hips.

“You’ve got a nice little pussy, you know that? Always knew you would be, too, knew you’d be a good little cccocksleeve.”

You moan shakily as he adjusts his position, towering over you and pinning your wrists above your head with one of his large hands. Your body begins to bounce, tits, thighs and tummy jiggling each time he thrusts in.

He’s starting to sweat, a few dark hairs sticking to his dimly-glowing forehead, more and more accumulating there as his hair rocks back and forth in time with the rhythm of his hips.

“Touch yourself, now, rrrub your little clit.” His voice is getting shaky as he draws nearer to climax.

Nodding, your hand slides down between your joined bodies until your fingertips settle onto the small bundle of nerves. The hand that’s still weaved in Charlie’s locks clenches and he lets out a sudden deep growl, hips stuttering for a moment.

“Ooooh, Charlie.” You moan, hips lifting and gyrating against both his cock and your fingers.

“God, fffuck I love this cunt.” A vulgar squelching sound knits itself within the quilt of your salacious symphony. “Wrapped around my cock like a vice, gonna pull the fucking cum right out of it. Swear you get tighter each time I push back in...christ, I’m not gonna last.”

Your fingers circle your clit faster, setting a desperate pace, one that almost matches his quick and sloppy thrusts. You’re close now, too, and it doesn’t take much longer for your orgasm to hit.

You cream around him with a long moan and a string of various other noises, with a few profanities thrown in as well. The product of your release coats his shaft in a pearlescent sheen, dripping down his ball-sack soon enough.

The sensations your climax creates around Charlie forces him to pull away almost immediately after, quickly yanking the condom off and onto his office floor, squeezing the base of his flaming red length.

His hand seizes your jaw tightly, thumb pressing down on your tongue, prying your mouth open. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth and shove my cum down your throat, and you’re gonna take it all, isn’t that right?”

You’re nodding instantly, slacking your jaw to open even further in preparation for his upcoming intrusion. He smirks.

“Good. Now, on your knees.”

He sits down where you once laid, lazily pumping his throbbing length as you get into position between his spread legs. He pulls your hair up into a makeshift ponytail with his hand, then lines you up with his cock and eases your mouth down onto him.

“Thaaaaaat’s it, oh, gooooood girl.”

You start gagging about three quarters of the way down his shaft, but he still keeps pushing until you’ve got the whole thing in your mouth. Your jaw’s already getting sore as he begins thrusting upwards, fucking your mouth.

Tears swell in your eyes and begin to spill down your cheeks the more he goes, mascara surely ruined and running down your face. The sight only arouses him further, a low groan rumbling through his puffed chest.

He’s trying so hard to keep himself together, to stave off his orgasm for as long as he can manage, but soon he finds it next to impossible to hold back. His bottom lip quivers ever so slightly as his length begins to twitch, balls drawing up.

“Fuck, I’m gonna--”

You taste and feel the salty ropes shooting down your throat before he can even finish his warning.

“Ah, fffuuuuck.” His head falls back against the couch cushions, hips bucking gently as each bit of release is spilled into your mouth. His grip on your head relaxes after he’s finished, cock softening while he catches his breath and re-grounds himself in reality.

Your chest heaves as full airflow returns to your lungs, knees and jaw aching a bit sore from their exertion. You grab your underwear from where they lay discarded on top of your romper, putting them back on before standing up on somewhat shaky legs.

Charlie also redresses, standing and straightening himself out as you do the same.

“Mind zipping me back up?” You ask, turning around again.

He pulls the zipper up your back until it’s at the end of its tracks, then steps up behind you, placing a soft kiss to your shoulder blade.

“Thank you.”

A soft smile grazes your lips. “No ‘thanks’ needed; the sweet taste of revenge and spite is payment enough.”

He laughs quietly.

“Well, I’ll certainly be available, should you ever need a little replenishing of those feelings.”

“Mr. Barber, you wouldn’t be saying that because you’d like to see me naked again, now would you?” Your eyebrows raise and you look over your shoulder, a playful smile on your face.

He laughs again, blushing a bit. “Uh, yeah, sure, I'd like that a lot. But I’d also like to see you, um...not naked, fully clothed, maybe at a restaurant in the city for dinner sometime? I totally get it if you’re not interested, it’s not a big deal if you don’t want to...”

Holy shit, he’s asking you out on a date. Well, he’s trying to, at least.

You laugh, cheeks warming at his proposition.

“Sure thing. I just accepted this new job, though, so I’ll have to get back to you about my availability...”

Charlie smiles, shoving his hands down in his khaki pockets. “I’m sure your new boss would be more than willing to accommodate. He’s a pretty cool guy, or so I’ve heard. Handsome, too.”

“Oh yeah? Sounds like you have a reliable informant.” You turn around as you laugh softly, grabbing your bag off the chair before stepping up in front of him. Your lips plant a quick peck on his, hands resting on his broad chest. “See you soon.”

He nods, biting his lip to hold back his big, goofy smile.

“Can’t wait.”

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razberryyum · 4 years ago

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TGCF donghua Episode 11 Thoughts (SPOILERS for episode and novel!)

Ok I didn't think they were actually going to kiss, BUT for a heart-stopping second I thought they were gonna get close enough before cutting away. Just to tease us, if for no other reason. I actually held my breath. It was still a big tease nonetheless but I am still grateful for the scene because my God was it beautifully done. The focus on Dianxia's lips as he says Hua Cheng's name, the way his breath catches as HC leans closer, the world fading away around them, HC's ponytail gently falling forward just so, the way they just focus on his lips just as if from Dianxia's POV....all of it just screams romance. Once again, that was all the work of the donghua's team. In the book, this moment occurs when they're actually back at Puqi Shrine, and Xie Lian's actually in the middle of cleaning a table when he very nonchalantly addresses Hua Cheng by his name. It was cute because Dianxia did it so casually but hardly THIS romantic. So, really, hats off to the donghua team!

Actually other than that last scene, of course I am grateful to the donghua team for many other moments in this episode. To start, whenever they show San Lang protecting Dianxia.

We know Xie Lian can definitely take care of himself, but I appreciate that Hua Cheng's instinct is always to protect him anyway. I actually thought that's why he gave himself the name," Hua Cheng". The words translate to "Flower City", and in the olden days, a city had walls protecting the people in it, so I figured that Hua Cheng chose this name to represent how he will always protect Xie Lian, that his protection is all encompassing. Lol, I can't wait to find out how wrong I am.

Even though Hua Cheng's fight with Pei Su was mostly off screen and limited to quick flashes of swords clashing, what they did show of Hua Cheng in his "real" form was DELICIOUS.

I am grateful to the donghua team for Hua Cheng's adorable reaction to Dianxia being cheeky. Too precious!

Our General Hua looking like a god in armor...and the way he made bis appearance in that scene too, like a savior coming to rescue mankind...or in this case, Banyue.

This scene actually made me tear up. I don't remember thinking Pei Su was that attached to Banyue when reading the book, but that might've been my fault for not paying close enough attention when HuaLian weren't directly involved. I was actually wondering how they were going to conclude the Banyue arc in just one episode since it felt like they would have to pack a lot into just 20 mins or so, but I think they did a really good job of wrapping it up. Didn't feel rushed or that anything important was missing.

I love both of them already, but I want to especially commend the donghua team's character design for The Wind Master. I don't want to spoil anything for those who haven't read the book, but trust me when I say THAT is a brilliant bit of character design. They will have to change two things about her next season but it's like she's mostly there already. 😂 I also love her voice and voice performance (by VA Qiu Qiu), so perfect for the character. I seriously cannot wait to see more of her next season, especially after hearing that news about the VA. 😁

I guffawed. This was a bit of brilliance too. Man, I just love the donghua team! They really did such a GREAT JOB bringing TGCF to life. I mean, is there really anyone who hates this adaptation?? I guess if you weren't into Xie Lian and Hua Cheng's relationship, the case of the week parts might be a bit underwhelming, but what I appreciate about them is that they inevitably link back to Dianxia and his past, or introduce us to new characters which then opens up the world. They always have a purpose, leading to bigger things. As a first season I think it was pretty strong, what they changed from the source material were usually positive alterations. I mean, I'm reading the book now because of this show, after putting it off for so long, so I'm definitely converted.

I do have to say though that the season did end on a rather odd note since it felt like there should have been just a few more beats before the end credits. It was a little abrupt imho, but it still is miles better than poor SVSSS's season finale, which ended on a freaking scene transition.

Of course there's still that special HuaLian episode on February 16th, so I guess technicallyyyyy this first season hasn't quite ended yet. The special looks to be picking up right where this episode leaves off: with Dianxia having a conversation with Hua Cheng back at Puqi Shrine about his role as Ghost King and other related topics. I'm not sure why it's airing a month and a half later, or why on February 16th instead of Valentine's Day, but I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. I'm just grateful we have more TGCF and HuaLian to look forward to. Second season is already in production, and apparently the theme song for it will drop tomorrow! A live action has been announced which they're still casting, and honestly some of those casting choices scare me so depending on who they end up deciding on, I might just gonna stay away from that completely and stick with the donghua and book.

Novel Reading Progress...about to finish Book 2... SPOILERS

MXTX-laoshi is a total sadist giving us THAT kind of sex pollen scene when nothing could be done cuz Hua Cheng's still a little bean sprout...I love Dianxia, love him more now knowing he was a pretty flawed human being, that he's absolutely not perfect...his heart is warm but his actions are sometimes quite cold...I blame his privileged upbringing and his youth and inexperience for some of his rash decisions...he means well but of course the road to hell is pathed with good intentions...wish he would stop forgetting about little Hua Cheng though, poor baby...the more I read about the human face disease the more I don't want to...just, overall, I feel this heavy weight on my heart now because I know things are going to go from worse to utter calamitous shit soon. I am SCARED, preparing my heart for breakage.

To read the TGCF novel: https://tgcfmxtx.carrd.co/

#Tian Guan Ci Fu #TGCF #Heaven Official's Blessing #HuaLian #TGCF donghua

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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February 18, 2021: The Danish Girl (Review)

Before I go into ANYTHING else...let’s talk about the actual Danish Girl, Lili Elbe, or Lili Ilse Elvenes.

Oh, uh, full warning, this is gonna be LONG, so skip to the bottom if you’re just here for the Review! OK, history time!

Now, what the film The Danish Girl notes about the beginning of the transition is pretty spot-on, from what I can tell. After marrying portrait painter Gerda Gottlieb in 1904, the two lived in Italy and France before moving to Paris in 1912. Yeah, that’s over 14 years before they’re shown doing so in the movie. Inaccuracy #1. In 1908 (here comes number 2), Elbe (Einar at the time) painted this portrait of trees along a fjord in Denmark.

Yeah, NOT in 1926, as the film says. But, yeah, that’s a nitpick, I recognize that. Anyway, the revelation came when model Anna Larssen (not “Ulla”, which is Inaccuracy #3) was late, and Gerda asked Elbe to fill in. When Larssen eventually showed up, she suggested the name “Lili”. Basically, this scene from the movie was pretty goddamn accurate.

Except for the dates, anyway. Because while the movie mostly takes place around 1926 and afterwards, this probably happened closer to 1920, in Paris. So, yeah, Lili spent a LOT more time as Lili in real life. Additionally, Lili was pretty goddamn public about the whole thing, inviting guests and hosting parties as herself, rather than as Einar. At the same time, Gerda was getting pretty goddamn famous for her paintings of Lili, like this one.

Which, yeah, are really good! Also, they were considered lesbian erotica by many! YEAH! And here’s a fun fact: Gerda may not have been straight-up straight. Yeah, the film and the book (we’ll get there) kind of ignored the fact that their marriage was annulled by the Danish government, not by the two of them. Inaccuracy #4. Now, obviously, their relationship ended, and Lili ended up getting together with a man (we’ll get there, too), but there are a LOT of unanswered questions about Gerda’s sexuality, and views of sexuality (which is barely hinted at in the “male gaze” speech in the beginning).

After the annulment, the two just...drifted apart. Their relationship dissolved, and the details on that are fuzzy. By 1930, Lili was headed on a completely different path. She wasn’t a painter like Einar (and it turns out that she thought of them as two entirely separate people, like two souls living in the same body, which the movie got mostly right), and she was mostly unsatisfied with her career, life, and other things. And that is where Drs. Erwin Gohrbandt and Magnus Hirschfeld come in, NOT Kurt Warnerkros...yet. He’d come in for the other five (YES FIVE) surgeries, but wouldn’t be involved with the first. Inaccuracy #5, and also #6, while we’re at it! See, the film would make you think that Lili was the first complete gender reassignment surgery, but she was actually the second. The first would be Dora Richter, in a procedure that was performed by Dr. Hirschfeld from 1922 - 1931. YEAH. BIG-ASS INACCURACY THERE. Here’s Dora, by the way:

Anyway, Lili had her first procedure, to remove the testicles, performed in 1930. In the same year, the divorce between Lili and Gerda was finalized, and Lili legally changed her name. Two more procedures were performed, the first to implant an ovary, and the second to remove the penis and scrotum. Inaccuracy #7, by the way. And, hey, let’s go for number 8! Let’s talk about Henrik, a dude who didn’t exist. He and Hans were both very loosely based on an art dealer named Claude Lejeune.

Claude was an art dealer (there’s the Hans part), and was indeed in love with Lili. They got together around early 1931, and he’d actually been in love with her for a good, long time. He proposed to marry Lili, and she accepted, also hoping that the two would be able to have children together. But to do that, it was believed that Lili would need a uterus. And, obviously, having children would be MILES more complicated than that in basically EVERY way, but this was early in medical science’s understanding of some of that biology.

In any case, however, Lili would need both a uterus and a vagina to feel whole. And so, the fourth surgery was scheduled. And she had that surgery in 1931, a couple of weeks after Dora Richter successfully had the same surgery performed. But, sadly, Lili wouldn’t be so lucky.

Lili’s body rejected the uterus, and while transplant rejections of any kind wouldn’t necessarily be fatal now, they definitely were back then. They attempted to remove it, but that subsequent 5th surgery caused infection, which caused a fatal heart attack three months later. Lili Elbe died on September 13, 1931, at the age of FORTY-EIGHT. Yeah, Inaccuracy #9.

By the way, you may be wondering: what about Dora Richter, the first successful person to get these surgeries? Well, she disappeared...in Germany...as the Nazis were coming into power...yeah. Fuckin’ YIKES.

And so, that’s the true story of Lili Elbe. And there are far more differences than that, I’m sure, but those 9 inaccuracies aren’t insignificant, that’s for sure. Although, it probably doesn’t help that the movie was based on a fictionalized book.

Oh, uh...did I not mention that? Yeah, this movie is based on The Danish Girl, by David Ebershoff, which means that this film is essentially a cinematic game of telephone. Which, uh...not great. Granted, Ebershoof made some other...interesting changes, which the film didn’t inherit. In the book, for example, Gerda is named Greta, and is American? Um...why? I dunno, it’s kind of weird. Oh, and that’s not including one more issue with the movie. But, you’ve waited long enough, huh? Recap of the film is here and here if you wanna check that out! Let’s get to the Review already!

Review

Cast and Acting: 8/10

I am...conflicted. So let me start here by saying that the acting in the film in and of itself is fantastic, all-around. Not a weak actor in here, that’s for sure. Let’s start with the side-roles, for once. Ben Whishaw, Matthias Schoenaerts, and Amber Heard are all good. Heard’s accent is a little shaky, but they’re still all solid performances. OK, how about Alicia Vikander? She’s great! And she won the Oscar for...Best Supporting Actress. Um...wait...Supporting? But not Best Actress? Uh...OK. That’s a little weird, let’s be honest here. But, Alicia Vikander did deserve that win over...oooooooh, Rooney Mara in Carol? Maybe not...damn.

And OK...let’s get into the elephant in the room, huh?

Eddie Redmayne is fantastic as Einar Wegener/Lili Eber, and I genuinely think he had a great shot to win Best Actor...but, yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio definitely deserved it, I think that goes without saying. Hell, that year had a SOLID line-up for best actor. And Redmayne had even won it the year before for The THeory of Everything, another biography where he played Stephen Hawking. But ALL of that said...HNNNNNNNNNG, there should have been a transgender actor cast in this role, ideally. Now, I’m fully aware how difficult that would be, as Hollywood isn’t extraordinarily diverse in terms of including trans actors in massive mainstream projects. It’s better now, but it’s nowhere near ideal. But if anybody knows an actor who would’ve fit this role and performed it well, I’m DEFINITELY interested. So, despite that controversy, Redmayne was pretty goddamn great in this role. But, uh...that doesn’t mean everything is perfect...

Plot and Writing: 5/10

OK, that seems low, I know. But it’s pretty goddamn damning that this movie was based off of a heavily fictionalized book instead of the actual life story of Lili Eber and Gerda Gottlieb. And because of that, there are not only some missed opportunities, but some straight-up damning inaccuracies. That’s a set of pretty poor decisions, I tell you what. Not sure why Lucinda Coxon came to that decision when adapting this screenplay, but it wasn’t exactly nominated for Best Screenplay. And the writing certainly isn’t bad, but it is...overly saccharine sometimes, especially for a film based (loosely) on a true story. I dunno...just not the best set of choices here, sorry to say.

Directing and Cinematography: 8/10

Tom Hooper shouldn’t direct musicals. However, since this wasn’t a musical, directing and cinematography here is pretty damn good! Real talk, this is a gorgeous looking movie, and the way shots are framed are fantastic. Perfect? Weeeeeeeell...given the fact that painting is a main focus of the film, for both Gerda and Einar, there should’ve been more painter-quality shots in here, I think. And while the cinematography by Danny Cohen is pretty fantastic, I can’t say that it’s perfect. Still, in terms of lighting and general skill, it’s still quite a good looking movie.

Production and Art Design: 10/10

But the deficiencies in the direction are EASILY compensated for by the production design! Like, hot DAMN, this is a good looking movie, like I said! That goes from the construction of the sets, to the gorgeous outfits all over the place, especially Lili’s outfits. Some iconic pieces of wardrobe there, that’s for sure! But if I have ONE complaint...this movie never once felt like the 1920s. Yup, good old anachronistic complaints from me again! Yeah, I’ll change the record one of these days, I promise. But even with that, it’s hard to ignore just how good this movie looks, to be honest. It’s just...gorgeous.

Music and Editing: 8/10

As I type this, I’m listening to a track of the film on YouTube, and it is a beautifully delicate tune. I’m not sure that I’d be able to associate it with the film if presented to me on its own, but it’s definitely a nice track to listen to by itself. Playlist worthy? For somebody, almost certainly, but not for me. One of these days, a film like that’s gonna pop up, I swear. But for now, Alexandre Desplat and his score are gonna stay off my iPhone. This really is a nice score, though, I promise. Editing by Melanie Ann Oliver is pretty good as well, and I’ve no complaints about it, to be honest. Overall, this side of things was quite nice, if not the most notable thing I’ve ever seen or heard.

I might have been a little harsh, but it’s still got an 78%.

This is a good movie, but...I dunno, the inaccuracies do bug me. Hell, there are WAY more than what I’d mentioned, and I mentioned a lot. Not to mention the other glaring issue: no trans people at any stage of the production? Really? No script consultants, no writers, no NTOHING? That’s...egregiously bad. Like, holy shit, guys. And, yes, this includes Redmayne, because even though he performed admirably in the role...I dunno. I’m no expert on ANY of this, as a cissexual dude with cissexual experience, but it feels a little...reductive, is all. Like I said, if any other actors have been suggested for this role, I’d love to know. The whole thing feels...I don’t know, just not great.

And by the way, that’s without even TOUCHING the question as to whether or not this film is authentic to the trans experience. Again, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA, but I’ve also heard that this film isn’t universally acclaimed in the trans community, so to speak. And I’m definitely interested in the reasons for that. All I know is this: from the perspective of a complete outsider, I was intrigued by this films view of the transgender experience, specifically as seen in the earliest days of those realizations happening and being publicly known and reported on. And that’s all I can really comment on, in truth.

WHOOF. That was a goddamn topic, huh? And now, I’m going to continue on the the month of romance with...wait, the 19th is my 5-year anniversary with my GF, pictured here:

Ravishing. Anyway, I think I’ll let her pick from my choices for this next one. Hold on a sec...OK, then. Sing it with me now! AND DO I DREEEEEAM AGAAAAIN, FOR NOW I FIIIIIIIIIIIIIND...

February 19, 2021: The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

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organic-guacamole · 3 years ago

Text

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #gina porter #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #howie my pizza king #lily hsmtmts

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shadow-night · 3 years ago

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Bounty Hunter in the Shadows Chapter 1

More chapters here on Ao3.

Story Tags: Erasermic, Friends to Lovers, young Aizawa Shouta, young Yamada Hizashi, Slow Burn, Slice of Life, Hurt/ Comfort, Angst and Feels, Comedy, Fluff, mental breakdown, PTSD, flashbacks, self-medication, drug use, homelessness, homeless Aizawa Shouta, unhealthy coping mechanisms, survivor guilt, cats, growing gp, character study, character development, recovery

Chapter 1: Aizawa and Yamada

Finally graduation day arrived. Aizawa held his UA high school diploma in his hands. This was a joyous occasion – or at least it should be. He should feel proud, which he did to an extent. Aizawa could not help but find the entire event nostalgic before it was even over.

He was a little proud he managed to pull through and finished school, graduating from the most famous hero school in Japan no less, but he also felt a deeply routed guilt. Yamada was joking and laughing with friends. Everyone was loud and happy, yet someone was missing.

Yamada tore Aizawa from his thoughts as he excitedly called out to him. Aizawa put on a teasing smile, silencing him with a quirk and vanished. It was meant as a joke but it also was great to escape his classmates.

Aizawa rolled his eyes at the endless amounts of texts Yamada sent him. He could practically hear the disappointed yelling while reading about how he had missed all the group photos. He didn't even bother to listen to the voice messages or pick his phone up when it rang. Aizawa went home and relaxed on his bed, knowing his foster parents wouldn't get home until later. He wondered what would happen if he left right this moment without another word to anyone. His suitcase was already packed.

A new message lit up his phone's home screen. Aizawa reached for the device, only now bothering to look at the chat.

Yamada:

We're all going out to eat tonight. Will you come?

Aizawa:

No. I promised them dinner.

It was true. He had promised his foster parents a ‘goodbye dinner’ before moving out. It was the reason why he didn't leave right this afternoon. They were decent people and were kind enough to give him space and not pressure him into spending more time together, so when they asked if he would have dinner with them tonight he couldn't say no.

Yamada:

But you're leaving tomorrow morning, right?! When will we see each other again??

That was a good point. It still hadn't quite sunken in that they would not be back at school again soon. They wouldn't just leave school for a weekend or a holiday, but forever. Aizawa almost regretted not staying longer at school now, though he also knew that it wasn't his thing. Seeing everyone excited for the future and sad they would part would have been a little too much. He was happier alone in his bedroom.

Yamada:

Can I come over?

Aizawa:

What about dinner?

Yamada:

We meet later. I'll come over.

Well. Now that that was decided all there was left to do was to wait for the energetic blonde. Wherever Yamada had been, he couldn't have been too far from his home. He was out of breath when, ten minutes later, he rang the doorbell non stop until the door was opened for him.

"Come on in." Aizawa said and they headed over to the brunet's room, where they sat down on the bed. At least Aizawa sat down. Yamada flopped onto the mattress still trying to catch his breath.

"You could have walked here." Aizawa noted.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to miss any more time! Who knows when we'll see each other again!" Yamada said.

"You're the one who wanted to work in America." Aizawa reminded him.

"I knoooow." Yamada whined, but then a grin returned to his face. "But I'm sure it's gonna be awesome!" he said determinedly.

"Just don't start talking to me in English all the time." Aizawa said and realized that he really would miss Yamada.

During their first year at U.A. he did not get particularly close with anyone but Shirakumo and Yamada. In their second year Aizawa had allowed himself to befriend Kayama a little. The cat Aizawa and Shirakumo found and gave to her had helped a lot in terms of befriending the girl who was a grade ahead of them.

After Shirakumo's death Aizawa made sure it stayed that way and distanced himself from others. He couldn't bear the thought of getting close to someone again only to loose them later. He looked at Yamada who lay on his back next to him on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Aizawa didn't want to think about how he would react if anything happened to the blonde.

"What train will you take tomorrow morning?" Yamada suddenly asked.

"Why? Don't tell me you want to meet me at the station." Aizawas tone was flat and seemingly uninterested.

"Ehhhh? Why not?!"

"You'll be hung-over." Aizawa stated.

"What? You really think us aspiring pro heroes will succumb to underage drinking?!" Yamada called out in mock surprise as if they hadn't- together in fact- gotten drunk before. Then he turned more serious. "I'd still come if you told me what time the train left." Yamada claimed.

"At 8:00 in the morning? Are you sure?" Aizawa said, a small smirk ghosting on his lips.

"Damn. That's early. Why are you torturing yourself like that?" Yamada asked, knowing how much Aizawa hated getting up early himself. Though, to be fair Aizawa seemed unhappy about getting up at any time. Insomnia was a real pain in the ass.

"I'll still come." Yamada said.

Aizawa just gave a low hum.

"You don't believe me! You'll see. I'll be there!" Yamada bumped his fist into Aizawa's shoulder.

"I didn't say anything." Aizawa said, raising his hands, showing his palms.

"Anyways." Yamada huffed. "You'll have to send me pictures of your apartment when you get there, alright."

"It's shitty. Nothing worth showing off." Aizawa protested.

"I don't care. I just want to see pictures."

"I'll send you pictures of the cockroaches I'll room with." Aizawa teased.

"Please don't!" Yamada looked horrified.

"You get those or nothing." Aizawa shrugged. This was nice. It was easy banter, just the two of them, nothing too overwhelming.

They fell into a comfortable silence, Yamada's eyes landing on Aizawa's packed suitcase.

Yamada had been surprised when Aizawa told him he would leave Musutafu the day after their graduation. He himself would travel to the US soon after the school year ended, but his flight went a week after graduation, giving him enough time to say goodbye to classmates and family. Well, Aizawa could count the friends he had on two fingers and he also did not have much family. Yamada did not know Aizawa’s host family particularly well but the few times he met them they seemed nice. Yamada could not help but wonder if Aizawa left so soon because he felt uncomfortable around them or if it had to do with Aizawa's general attitude and mood ever since their work study ended in their second year.

Yamada had a great support system at home but it was difficult mourning their dead friend himself and helping Aizawa at the same time. Shirakumo's death hit them both hard, though Aizawa definitely had a less healthy way of coping and far less support or people who didn't offer the support he needed which ended in him changing host families a month after their work study. It had been painful to watch Aizawa train in the Gym to the point he was so exhausted he fell asleep in their classes. Yamada had done his best to be there and watch Aizawa as often as he could, sometimes even training with him. It made them grow closer over time.

"You've got to take care of yourself." Yamada broke the silence.

Aizawa frowned, then looked away from the blonde. "You too."

"Hey, you missed out on all the pictures we took, let's take some now!" Yamada changed the subject. They wouldn't see each other in quite a while so they shouldn't just mop around. Aizawa was not impressed by the idea, but when Yamada sat up on the bed and sat right next to him he tilted his head towards the blonde as he held up his phone. Within minutes Yamada's camera roll filled up with new pictures of them both.

"You should leave soon, if you don't want to be late." Aizawa said eventually as he took notice of the time.

"I guess." Yamada said and sat up on the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, alright?" He reminded Aizawa.

"Don't trouble yourself. It will be fine if you don't." He said.

The door fell shut and Aizawa stood alone in the quiet house. Dinner with his foster parents also was a quiet affair. He appreciated that. They did not try to get him to talk more than usual or try to talk him out of things last minute. They asked if he finished packing and if he still needed something, as if anything was worth the trouble of going out this late at night. There were plenty of stores with the same products where he moved. He let them know he had everything he needed and stayed seated at the table after dinner. They drank tea and let it sink in that things would be different from now on.

The night seemed to drag on forever and Aizawa barely slept. He got up early, even earlier than he had to, so he could make breakfast for everyone. He made his host parents favorite tea, put six slices of bread in the toaster oven and got out a pot to make miso soup. He didn't have to cook but even he could make something as simple as miso soup with tofu and seaweed. He set out the jam for the bread and got out some plates when his host parents came out.

Aizawa checked his phone when he got his suitcase after breakfast. No new messages showed up. The blonde sent him a few photos during the night, so Aizawa knew his classmates drank alcohol and stayed up until the early morning hours. He tried to ignore the slight pang in his chest. It was good Yamada had fun last night. He should rest now. They could talk over the phone later, he told himself pocketing his phone. He looked around the room one final time. It was clean and he already pulled the sheets off and put them into the washing machine.

"Remember you can call us anytime." His host mother told him as they stood in the entrance. Aizawa gave a slight nod to signal he heard her as he tied his shoes.

"Don't hesitate to ask for help." Her husband added.

"Thank you. For everything." Aizawa said, looking them in the eyes. He even gave both a hug before he stepped outside and pulled his suitcase to the station.

When Aizawa arrived at the nearest tram station, he realized he gave Yamada the time his other train would leave from the bigger train station. So even if the blonde intended to come he might have thought of the wrong place. He checked his phone but no new notifications showed up. Aizawa pocketed his phone as the tram came to a stop. The small tram was packed with people going to work and Aizawa shuffled to the door, pulling his suitcase as close as possible. He gave an apologetic nod to an older lady close to him. Aizawa focused his eyes outside the window looking at the familiar houses and stores passing by.

Finally the tram reached the central station. He arrived with some time to spare and checked his phone while he stood waiting at the platform. He felt a little forgotten but tried his best to push the feeling aside. He told Yamada not to worry about coming, so it wasn't fair to be mad at him for not showing up.

He could hear his train enter the station and then, even louder than the arriving train his name. "Aizawaaaaaaa!" He knew that voice.

Aizawa turned around to the direction the call had come from and saw Yamada running into the station. Several people held their ears and stared at the blond in irritation. He would have to get to this platform, but the train just arrived so there was enough time. Aizawa couldn't help but smile.

When Yamada finally came running down the stairs he looked like he would throw up any second. "The things I do for you." he huffed out of breath when he came to a stop in front of Aizawa.

"I told you, you didn't have to come." Aizawa said, but his smile gave him away.

"Please just tell me you are happy to see me so that it was worth coming." Yamada begged. He wore a t-shirt with an unidentifiable stain on it and one of his shoelaces was open. He was very pale and his unstyled hair hung in his face.

"Yeah. I'm happy." Aizawa gave in. "Thank's for coming." He said just as Yamada stepped away from him and threw up over the other side of the platform where no train was.

"Are you alright?" Aizawa asked, holding the other's hair back. Other people were stared more or less subtly.

"Ugh..." Yamada groaned. Aizawa glanced at the clock, "Wait here. I'll be right back." He said and jogged to a vending machine to get some water.

"Thank's." Yamada said after he washed his mouth out and took a sip. "Sorry about that." He said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Do you need money for a taxi back?" Aizawa asked.

"No, no! It's fine. Keep your money! I still have some." Yamada said. He pulled his walled out in demonstration. He knew Aizawa did not have much saved up and he doubted he suddenly accepted more from his host family.

"If you're sure." Aizawa said.

"Actually, let me pay you back for this." Yamada held up the bottle Aizawa just got him.

"It's just water." Aizawa shook his head.

"Alright. Thanks." Yamada put his wallet away again. They stood in silence for a moment after that.

"Well...-" Yamada tried to break the silence.

"I have to get on the train soon." Aizawa said at the same time.

"Ah...right. Well...I'll hear from you soon right? Send pictures!"

"Of roaches. Sure." Aizawa couldn't help but tease with a smirk.

"I got up and came all the way here and this is how you thank me?!" Yamada said so loud he winced himself. He hadn't even spoken that loud but with his head already pounding every decibel felt like too much.

"We'll see." Aizawa said and reached for his suitcase. Should he give Yamada a hug? His arms twitched, though he kept them at his side. "Get some rest." he said, taking a step back.

"You too!" Yamada nodded, wincing once more at his own volume.

"Thank's for coming." Aizawa said, standing in the train's doorway. "Bye."

"Bye." Yamada said a little quieter now, but with a smile on his face while he waved. The blonde was always so positive and energetic. It was nice. Aizawa waved as the door closed, then moved to look for his seat.

It was a window seat and he waved once more once he sat down. Yamada waved with two arms as the train began to move.

This was it.

Aizawa's chest felt tight as the train drove out of Musutafu. So many memories were connected to the city. Good, as well as bad. He gulped down the lump that formed in his throat and pressed his shirt's sleeve against his eyes. A new chapter of his life started with his move to Naruhata. There was no turning back now.

More chapters of Bounty Hunter in the Shadows on Ao3 :)

#erasermic #erasermic fanfic #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #aizawa shouta #present mic #aizawa + yamada #maizawa #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 3 years ago

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BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is.

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now.

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal.

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home.

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown -

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season...

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own).

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato.

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem.

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey.

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it.

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face?

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go.

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh.

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things.

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness.

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1.

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision.

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified.

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here.

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

#Final Space #BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Nesha Watches Final Space #Nesha Watches #Quinn Ergon #Quinn Ergon commentary #Final Space season 3 #Final Space spoilers #long post

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imissjoongsmullet · 4 years ago

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Something Better (1/2)

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader

Genre: fluff/angst (will lead to smut eventually because hi hello it’s me writing about Chan)

Summary: You and Chan have been best friends since before you can remember but now that you’re in college, things start to feel strange, especially with the way he acts when it comes to your boyfriend.

Read part 2

Warnings: part 1 of 2 (probably), cutesy friendship stuff, lots of stupid banter, bit of suggestive conversations, a good dash of angst, Changbin as your boyfriend (do you need a warning for that lol), oh and though this one is pretty clean, there will be smut in later chapters.

Word Count: 2k

Author’s Note: Ok so I’m going to try to keep this to 2 chapters but I can’t promise anything. Anyone who follows me knows I tend to get carried away it’s a thing... Also, yes, this is such a cliché trope but BOY DO I LOVE IT! Thanks again for the request. I had a great time writing this!

►

Five minutes to four. Almost there. The old man at the front of the auditorium had been droning on about the history of bleebidiblah wherever for the past two hours and you were very much ready for it all to end and for the weekend to begin. You heard a pencil drop beside you and turned to see your friend pick it back up and place it between his upper lip and nose.

“Looking great,” you whispered, fighting back a smile.

“I know,” he snickered, making the thing drop into his lap for the dozenth time that class.

Chan was kind of an idiot. But he was also kind of your best friend. You’d grown up in the same neighborhood and had been inseparable since kindergarten. He was the first person you’d went to when you’d found out Santa wasn’t real, the first person you’d ever sneaked out of the house to go to a party with and the first person you’d ever gotten blackout drunk with; not to mention he was the only one who knew about your irrational fear of oven toasters. He knew everything about you and you knew everything about him. You were a team, tied together so much so, that you’d even decided to follow each other to the same college.

“Hey,” he nudged your shoulder, “how about we go downtown tonight and celebrate the weekend? I heard it’s prolonged happy hour at GB’s.”

The twinkle in his eyes made you want to say yes; it was a very tempting offer. “Can’t,” you replied eventually, scrunching up your nose at him.

“Come on, why not?” said Chan, leaning in and shaking your thigh, “we can go to karaoke after and you can crash at my place. I bought so many Doritos and they’re not gonna eat themselves.”

You bit your lip. “I kind of promised Changbin I’d go over tonight.” You already knew what was coming.

“Again?” he exclaimed a bit too loudly, drawing the attention of some of the other students, “you stayed over like three times this week already.” He sagged in his chair, rolling his eyes at you.

“Don’t be a child,” you retorted shoving him lightly.

That put some of his smile back in place. “You know, I think this Changbin guy isn’t the one for you,” said Chan, pretending to look pensive, “he’s got shifty looking eyes… and his nose is too big.”

You couldn’t keep from chuckling. Dipping down in your chair out of sight of your teacher, you turned to your friend. “You’re so full of shit, what does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “maybe he’s having evil, shifty, big-nosed plans and you don’t even know it.”

“Your nose is big too, you know?” you said, pinching his nose.

He slapped your hand away and pinched you back, which made you cry out so loud the teacher went silent, eyes in your direction. Your cheeks flushed hot but just as you were about to apologize to the entire auditorium, the bell rang, pushing everyone around you into motion.

“Oops,” said Chan, eyes full of mischief as he rose from his chair along with everyone else.

You packed your things and followed him, kicking at his heels pettily.

“Seriously though, all the staying over,” Chan went on once you were out in the packed hallway, “sure he isn’t tiring you out?” The wicked grin on his face told you exactly what he meant.

“Chan, I swear if you don’t shut up,” you started but he interrupted fast.

“I just mean, you’re a studious girl,” he explained, grabbing your shoulders and rubbing them, “you can’t have a shifty-eyed boy like him distract you from your super important studies with sexy times.”

“And you taking me out to GB’s is helping me with my studies how exactly?”

“At least I’m not trying to put my dick in you every single night.”

“Chan!” you yelled out, looking around frantically at all the other students within earshot of your conversation.

“Aww,” Chan chuckled, hugging you closer, putting his lips near your ear, “you’re so cute when you’re all flustered.”

You were extremely happy he was behind you and couldn’t see the look on your face because you were even redder than before, staring eyes-wide into space. For as close and you and Chan were, you couldn’t help but feel shy whenever he mentioned sexual stuff around you. Not that you weren’t a sexual person; you just didn’t really know how to act around him when it came to those things. It didn’t help that you felt him all over you now, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand right up.

“Listen,” you said, shrugging out of his grip and trying to compose yourself, “how about we hang out tomorrow night? I’m sure the drinks will be just as toxic and delicious then.”

He came up next to you. “Fine, but you’re buying,” he said, “you’ve been leaving me lonely far too much. I demand compensation.”

You smiled and shook your head. “Fine.”

[I’ll be there in 10]

You hurriedly typed as you left Changbin’s place. You were meeting Chan for coffee. You were supposed to work on an assignment together that afternoon but you felt more than a little distracted after the previous night hadn’t ended up as fun as you’d hoped. You didn’t even really remember how it had started but you and Changbin had gotten into an argument that had lasted for most of the night. It wasn’t anything heartbreaking; it was just frustrating that your relationship wasn’t going the way you’d imagined it. And now you’d have to face Chan and pretend everything was okay because you were far too prideful to give him the satisfaction of saying ‘I told you so’.

He was waiting at your typical spot in the back of the café, his notebook ready on the table. You were happily surprised to find him jotting things down as you walked up. When you sat down, however, you realized he’d just been doodling obscenities in the margins of his book.

“Good afternoon,” you said, closing his book and grabbing the coffee he’d ordered for you.

You felt his eyes on you as you sipped the burning hot drink. You were just waiting for it at this point.

“So,” he started, amusement dripping down his face, “how was last night?”

“Shut up,” you countered, opening up your own book and looking anywhere but at him.

You and Chan were used to working together. Chan always had problems focusing and you were always there to give him the kick in the ass he needed to get the work done. On the other hand, Chan was the one coming up with the most creative ideas for your projects so, despite your differences, you worked quite well off of each other.

For a while, things were fine: Chan was on his second coffee and the ideas flowed generously; you just had to write them down and turn them into usable content. Things were nice and light as they should be. You took a break and ordered waffles, enjoying them without any mention of Changbin; it was great. You talked about concerts you were excited to go to together in the coming months, showed each other movie trailers of stuff you really wanted to watch together and you laughed at the absolute dumbest things. You thought perhaps it was the caffeine that was making you both so silly.

Unfortunately, after that initial boost of energy, came the inevitable crash.

By the time Chan was picking at the ice at the bottom of his empty third coffee, things were started to shift. You were trying to finish up the assignment but it was clear Chan was starting to get burnt out. Gradually, conversation trickled away from the project at hand and into less productive territory.

“What is it you like about him?” he asked, staring zombie-like into his cup.

“Not now, Chan,” you sighed, eyes on your laptop screen. You felt his fingers at your side, poking lazily.

“No, come on,” he said, voice sleepy, “I wanna know.”

You stopped typing and took a deep breath.

“He’s—” you started, trying to think of something while your head replayed how you’d argued the night before.

Chan let out a chuckle. “Yeah, he sounds great.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you groaned, a little harsher than you’d meant it, “let’s just get this done.”

But Chan didn’t let up. Your inability to define your love for Changbin had apparently made him very eager to tease you and it was getting harder and harder to ignore him.

“I bet he sleeps with his socks on,” he said, sipping his empty drink loudly, “weirdo.”

“Chan please.”

“Tell me he doesn’t.”

“Chan.”

“He totally does, doesn’t he!”

“Chan I swear if you don’t shut up I’m gonna kick you where it really hurts!”

“Fine,” he said, still laughing, putting up his hands in defense, “jeez, I was just having fun.” Then he came closer and, entirely oblivious, wrapped his arms around you tight. “No more coffee for you, it makes you mean.” He gave your temple a quick kiss and, chuckling, got up from his seat.

“Gotta pee, this coffee is going right through me, be right back.”

It occurred to you, as you watched him walk off, how odd your relationship with Chan was. Or maybe Chan was just an odd person? Or maybe he was simply acting oddly recently? You tried to shrug off the confusing thoughts and instead opened up your phone. The last text from Changbin was right at the top. You clicked it and smiled, rereading the sweet message he’d sent you the day before. You should probably make up with him soon, you decided.

After another half hour of half-assed adjustments, you and Chan finally called it a day.

“If you could input your slides right after mine, I’ll do the touch ups and bring it all to class,” you said, staring at your laptop screen, “we should probably go over it together the day before though.”

Chan’s face was in his arms on the table, looking drowsy. “Yeah, sounds good,” he mumbled, “I’ll type them out by Monday, we’ve got most of the stuff down already, it shouldn’t be hard.”

“Good,” you nodded, finally letting yourself sit back and relax. You closed your eyes in a long yawn as you stretched out your arms. When you opened them again Chan was looking at you.

“Tired huh?” he said, his lips curling up into a knowing smirk.

You stared back at your friend blankly. “You know what? Yes, I am actually. I stayed up most of the night.”

His eyebrows rose up in surprise but he didn’t speak.

“And that’s all I’m gonna say on the matter so can we please wrap this up now?” you added, “I think I should go see Changbin later tonight cause— well, we just have some things to discuss.”

“Wait, hold up,” said Chan, straightening up beside you and, finally, all laughter was wiped from his face, “I thought we were going out tonight.”

The memory of your promise hit you, throwing a small dose of guilt over your head. “I’m sorry, Chan, really. I just got some things to do—”

“Some things to do?” he interrupted, now definitely irritated, “you’re gonna ditch your best friend for some mediocre sex?”

“Chan that’s not what this is,” you started but you knew you’d set him off and there was no going back.

“Whatever,” he snapped, “it’s fine I’ll call some people who actually wanna hang out—”

“Chan—” you tried, shocked at the rapidity with which his mood had switched.

“—instead of someone who’ll leave me for the first boy to give her the least bit of attention—”

“Hey!” you said, getting up from your seat, heating up from the sting of his words.

Chan got up as well, the look in his eyes pained. “I said it’s fine,” he repeated, placing some money on the table and walking out.

(part 2)

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cosmosbunnies · 3 years ago

Text

GoFundMe Update!

This is an update post for my GoFundMe, which was to help me pay my bills. In total, my friends and family donated a total of $865 over the course of two weeks. First, I'm gonna break down what that money has been/will be used for, and then I'll have a thank you note at the end of this post.

Much of the money was used on utilities. We had to pay set-up fees for water, power and internet. This meeant that the costs were a lot higher than they will be moving forward My water cost $150 My power also cost $150 My internet cost $127 My car insurance cost $100 My phone bill was $50 My credit card debt was reduced by $100 in total I also spent approx. $100 on groceries and clothes for me and Fin, my roommate.

Now I'm gonna get personal!

I am a full time artist, but the fatigue on my body due to moving has resulted in reduced productivity. That productivity is slowly coming back, and I'm nearly back in full swing. This means that October will be a more profitable month for me. Not only that, but I have picked up a second job. My roommate is bedbound, and I moved here to act as his aide. I have a meeting coming up to finalize the paperwork for that, which means I'll get paid weekly by insurance because I'm caring for him. My duties as an aide aren't all that different from normal house chores, but are fairly time-consuming and require a regular amount of attention. A lot of cooking, cleaning, buying groceries, running errands, and generally being available most times of the day for assistance. For two months I've been doing this work for Fin because he is my friend, and he needed it. I haven't been paid thus far, but that will change very soon, meaning I'll have adequate compensation for my work. For those of you whom I've ignored or been unavailable for, please understand that between moving, keeping two jobs, and experiencing terrible pains in my knees, I've been struggling to keep my head above water.

When Angel suggested that I start a GoFundMe, I was resistant to the idea. I was raised to work hard and earn my keep, right? At the time, I was sleeping in my car, working at coffee shops during the day and slowly running out of clean clothes. No houses or apartments were getting back to me in a timely manner. Still, suffering as I was, I told Angel "I don't judge those who crowdfund, but I'd rather stab myself with a fork than ask for money." And Angel said "Jamie, it's a dog eat dog world out here. Whether you like it or not, sometimes you /have/ to ask for help. People die when they don't have help." And it made me realize; I have so many loving friends and family members who had been /offering/ to help already. Am I taking them for granted? So many people would kill to have as much support as I do in their life, and here I am not asking for or even accepting help when offered explicitly, and for what? To keep a false sense of pride intact? Pride doesn't put food on the table. Angel shook me out of my warped sense of shame, and I was able to swallow my pride to start a GoFundMe.

It's the hardest thing I've ever done, I think. Clicking that button and telling my friends and family about it was really taxing on me. I spent the whole night just freaking out, but then something wild happened.

People donated. People donated a LOT. Before I knew it, I had money in there. $200, then $300, then $400, and within a few weeks we had raised over 800 dollars for my bills. I understand that money is not a sign of love, but people who love me gave me money so I could survive, and I am extremely thankful for that. My life is better with my friends and family in it, and even some people who just know me from my art (u know who u are i love u) donated and shared, to keep my dreams alive. That's more than I even thought I could ask for, and certainly more than I ever expected. Those of you who really know me, know that I'm a hard worker. I often put in more effort than is asked of me, and more than is healthy for my body and mind. Still, that's not always enough to survive the weird and kind of broken world in which we live. And every one of you who donated or shared or even care about me a bit? You make this broken world marginally better just by being in it.

TL;DR I was in need and my loved ones came through for me. Thank you all so much <3

#more personal than ill probably ever get on here but it's worth it for sayig thank you

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closer-stars · 4 years ago

Text

Spoiled

Member: Seonghwa Genre: Fluff, some angst Word Count: do i have to.... Content: Stressed Seonghwa deserves some love and care. Food mention. Note: kind of a product of a talk I had with a friend. meep.

[ You ] : Are you free tomorrow?

Seonghwa stares at your message. Surely he told you of his schedule this entire week?

[ Seonghwa ] : I didn’t tell you my schedule?

[ Seonghwa ] : Hmph, anyways, after tomorrow, I got three days free. What’s up?

You grin at his message. You were a little hopeful now.

[ You ] : Wanna sleep over? I haven’t seen you since promotions, and I uh, kindofmissyou

His lips curve into a strained smile, the heat from the hair dryer slightly stinging his skin.

[ Seonghwa ] : sounds like a plan, see you then.

[ Seonghwa ] : Don’t forget to watch my stages too !!! (sulking apeach)

-------

He arrives back in their dorm after their last stage. While the rest of the boys drift to their rooms to remove all the make up and take a breather before the next preparations, he practically zooms to his room. Hongjoong stares at the eldest in surprise until he remembers why he’s so excited. “Hwa, are you gonna be there the entire three days?” He questions as he follows him into their room, greeted by Seonghwa packing some of his things for the stay.

“Looks like it. I need the quiet time too.” The male muses as he gazes around the room, wondering what else he might need. “I’ll be on time for practice, if anything happens you can just message me. You know how the kids are.” No wonder the rest of the group and you call them a married couple.

The blue haired leader shakes his head. “You need the break more than anyone else.” He shoos him off, throwing one of his pillows at him in jest. “Tell them I said hi yeah?” Hongjoong says, carefully removing all the makeup from his skin.

-------

Seonghwa’s already outside your apartment, waiting for you to answer the door. He hears your footsteps rush over and he smiles, endeared by your excitement.

“Seonghwa!” You exclaim as you open the door, throwing yourself into his arms. You could still smell the hairspray and his perfume when you bury your face against his neck. His chuckle vibrates through your figure and you pull away to look at him properly. The signs of exhaustion clear in his sunken face and eyes but you say nothing about it. “Did you come here straight from your schedule?” You beckon him to come inside, and it’s only then that you notice that he still hasn’t removed his makeup.

The taller male says nothing but hum, relieved to be greeted by a quiet peaceful environment. He kind of missed how your place smelled. “Yeah, I was looking forward to this honestly.” He admits as he drops his bag by the couch. On your tv screen was a movie already playing, your pet cat, Cloud, dozes off on her cat pole. He kind of missed how peaceful your place is.

You follow him into your apartment and you let him take in the new changes. “Let me get the shower ready for you then. The food won’t come in until an hour later anyways.” You state then make your way to your bathroom. He follows you this time, not expecting the steam of the hot water running in the bathtub already relaxing his strained muscles. “Come here.” You order, applying a generous amount of make up remove onto a piece of cloth. From his point of view, he can’t see what you were doing but he obliges. Once he stands behind you, you spin on your heels, bringing yourself up to sit near the sink to reach his face. “I know you have a lot of stories to tell me, so tell me about them.”

It takes him a few moments to realize what you were doing. You were removing his makeup for him as the two of you wait for bathtub to fill up. So he entertains you with his stories of the promotions the past two months: how shooting the music videos were exhausting but the end product made it worth it, how recording the songs strained him greatly but he didn’t mind, how performing and recording day in and day out was demanding in all aspects but he loved it all. He closes his eyes as you start to remove his eye makeup, his tanned skin starting to show. You were slowly seeing Park Seonghwa, your boyfriend, rather than ATEEZ’s Seonghwa now. Once satisfied, you let him work on his skin care routine. This time telling him stories of how things have been on your end: job hunting, freelance work, and so on. Once he was done, you let him ease himself into the filled bath tub that had some bath salts to relax his muscles.

“Are you going to join me?” He asks as he looks up at you, hopeful. As much as you wanted to, you still had to wait for the food to arrive. “I would love too but who would get the food hm? I’ll cuddle with you later, I promise.” You do make up for it now though, giving him a gentle massage, working on the knots on his shoulders. At your touch, he finds himself relaxing, either leaning into the comfort or squirming from the pain of the strained muscles. A small part of you knows he was burdened by other things but you knew better than to press him. For now, it was better to spoil him.

Minutes pass and you know the food would arrive at any moment now, so you press a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Go wash up, the food’s about to arrive, babe.” With that you slip away from the bathroom, leaving him be.

---------

He comes out of the shower in his sleepwear, the towel draped over his shoulders to catch the water droplets from his still drenched hair. The smell of food had caught his attention and you were already in the living room with food you had delivered. You wave your hand to have him come over to eat with you. “What’s all these?” He asks, mouth already watering at the sight of the chicken. Some of them looked like his comfort food mixed with food from his meal plan.

Once he sits next to you, you pick up a piece of chicken, placing it in front of his mouth. “I figured you deserve some good food, even just for tonight.” You say once he accepts your offer to feed him. “Heard from some of the boys that you’ve been too stressed with everything so...” You look around, already seeing Cloud wander onto Seonghwa’s lap. “I thought you might want a break from everything.”

At your explanation, he feels his heart flutter. It was true, the past two months have been demanding on him more than he’d like to admit. His eyes feel hot at your actions but he manages to swallow the heat with the aid of the food you’ve prepared.

You pull a small bowl towards the two of you. He knows that color from a mile away. “Babe, I’m not supposed to eat--” He mumbles, until he realizes that it’s homemade tteokbokki, just for him.

“I know what you’re wary of so middle ground: home made.” You state, offering the chopsticks for him to take a taste. He shakes his head, and in that moment your heart drops. His mouth falls open this time, and he points at his open mouth. “Ah~” His antics causes you to laugh lightly, and you give in to his wishes. You watch him carefully, hoping that your homemade tteokbokki would pass his standards.

He couldn’t speak. He admits that it’s better than store bought, and before he realizes it, he’s crying. “Babe, are you okay?” You ask gently, and he sees your concerned look. He pulls you into his arms and he murmurs his thanks over and over through the tears. It’s only at that moment he realizes just how much he kept to himself. Maybe Hongjoong was on to something. You say nothing, instead running your hand up and down his back as he tries to regain his composure, not minding his tears wetting your shirt.

For the rest of the night, he spills his heart out on everything that had been in his mind and heart. Things that he couldn’t tell you through text messages or calls or things he couldn’t tell you because alone time wasn’t an option lately. He didn’t really need you to give him advice, he just needed someone to listen to him. At his worries, you offer your shoulder and ears. The movie playing was already white noise at this point, providing comfort when the silence becomes too overbearing for him as he lets himself be vulnerable to you.

---------

Cloud doesn’t let Seonghwa move an inch, finding his lap much more comfortable than her bed. “Agh, Cloud. He’s my boyfriend!” You whine at your feline companion who pays no heed to your complaint. He chuckles softly, the crying and heart to heart session having taken more out of him than expected. You reach over for one of Cloud’s favorite toys, the clinking of the bell rousing her from her comfort. You shake it a few times in front of her face before tossing it at a random direction. The male watches the cloud of fur jump off his lap and chase after the object. He takes the chance to stretch his legs.

He watches you play around with Cloud, occasionally throwing the toy as well to amuse the little one. As she chases it for the nth time, he steals a kiss on your cheek, then snaking his arms around your waist. “Thank you for this, babe.” He murmurs softly, the two of you watching the feline play with the ball for a few moments before trotting over to you.

Even while you entertain the cat, you hum at his words. “You deserve to be spoiled too, love. Even if it’s just for tonight, I know you’ve got discipline but a little bit of comfort wouldn’t hurt you.”

He stares at you, while you were too busy playing with Cloud, he couldn’t help but feel touched by your actions throughout the night. If anything, it made him want to work harder to become someone you were proud of.

-----------

That’s how the next few days go: you helping him with his home training, him helping you with your freelance clients. In between the work, the two of you would catch up on other things, even going as far as messaging the other boys on how they’ve been.

[ Hongjoong ] : can you tell seonghwa that i said park seonghwa, idiot?

He sighs at the message and brings out his phone.

[ Seonghwa ] : no.

[ Seonghwa ] : (goodbye everyone meme)

At the sight of the meme, you giggle into your hand.

[ Hongjoong ] : stop with that meme, please...

[ Seonghwa ] : no :D

You get another message, again from Hongjoong.

[ Hongjoong ] : please annoy him for me ( grinning ryan )

Seonghwa looks at you with a pout but you shake your head. Instead, you press a kiss on his lips, and take a quick photo to send to Hongjoong.

[ Hongjoong ] : you guys are cute but Why

“You’re the best, you know?”

“Just for you, babe.”

#my writings #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #the WAY I accidentally posted this in my personal #was listening to kiana lede and mahalia while writing this #when sicko mode started playing i knew i had to stop #cause dance time lels #anyways if you follow my personal and saw this #no you didnt uwu

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