#when i go home to ohio everythings so green. so green. unimaginably green and the towns are in the woods. the hills roll

[opens-up-4-nobody]

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[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine one-shot - “The Pussy Collector” (Rated PG13)

Blaine has been crushing on assistant fashion editor Kurt Hummel since the first day he started interning at Vogue. They spent almost every lunch hour together, and he thought Kurt might feel the same way. But after he gets hired on and transferred to Kurt's department, Blaine overhears some conversation that gives him a reason to think differently.

To think that, despite all of their many heart-to-hearts, he may not know the first thing about Kurt Hummel. (2518 words)

A/N: I hate this one, just so you know. Vogue Kurt. Different first meeting. Fluff. Blah-blah.

Read on AO3.

“Oh my God, Kurt! She’s beautiful!” Rachel coos, taking the phone from her best friend’s hands to get a better look at the picture on the screen.

The picture of a gorgeous woman, if her reaction is anything to go by.

“I know, right?” Kurt swipes the screen to reveal the next few pictures. “And forward, too! She came right up to me and sat on my lap without me having to say a word.”

Rachel bumps Kurt’s shoulder, shooting him a sly and secretive look. Behind his computer screen, Blaine scowls. Lucky tramp, he thinks, imagining himself getting up from his chair and sitting in Kurt’s lap, running his fingertips up and down the soft skin of his neck, nuzzling into his shoulder. But no. Apparently, that honor is reserved for rando floozies Kurt meets when he travels for business.

Blaine switches tabs and, for a brief second, catches a glimpse of his reflection in his screen. He looks angry. He looks bitter.

He looks jealous, and that’s not a good look for him.

Who is he to judge Kurt for the life he leads? If Blaine wasn’t crushing on Kurt, he wouldn’t care what the man did when he went out of town. If Blaine is ever lucky enough to get a chance with Kurt, he’ll have to spend a lot of time making up for all of the mental slut-shaming he’s done when he was really just angry at himself for being a coward.

“Why didn’t you bring her home?” Rachel asks, as if that’s even an acceptable question.

“Because who says she wants to get on an airplane and come all the way to the Big Apple?” Kurt takes his phone back and gazes fondly at the image on the screen. “Besides, I’ve got three at home as it is. Who knows if they’d get along?”

Kurt sighs.

Rachel nods in silent agreement.

Blaine’s head snaps up so quickly that he gives himself a cramp. Three at home? What the---? How did Blaine not know that Kurt lived a polyamorous lifestyle? They work at Vogue, the hub of gossip here and abroad. If the vending machine at their office in Paris runs out of gummy bears, everyone hears about it! How did something like this fall under the radar? Why hasn’t Isabelle run a whole feature on him? She eats, what she captions, “alternative lifestyle” stuff up!

“Nope,” Kurt continues as the cramp in Blaine’s neck begins to sting. “Better to let her stay where she is and make her own way in the world. Who knows? Maybe I’ll go back soon and see her again.”

“Yes, but in the meantime …” Rachel cozies up to Kurt with a giggle “… tell me about this trip to Milan you’re taking.”

Blaine tunes out momentarily while Kurt launches into his itinerary for the latest trip to Italy he’d been cleared to take, covering the battle of the big league fashion houses. It was enough to make Blaine pea green, if he wasn’t already.

He doesn’t begrudge Kurt his fabulous life. The man has definitely earned it, what with the hours he puts in … the life he’s endured. He was bullied throughout high school (just like Blaine); moved to New York from Ohio with no college acceptance, no plans for the future (just like Blaine); started out an intern (just like Blaine); and look at him now – traveling the world, meeting famous fashion designers, writing about their passions and their inspirations. That’s exactly the kind of life Blaine wants to have some day. But he’d also like a life where he meets a kind, compassionate, handsome man and falls in love; one where they enjoy simply being in each other’s company - spending long nights on the couch eating ice cream and watching trash TV, cooking experimental meals together, making love till they know they’re going to be late for work in the morning. That man could be a self-made millionaire or an elementary school teacher, as long as the two of them connect.

He thought he and Kurt had.

Kurt had even kissed him once – one of those continental type kisses on both cheeks, but followed by a gaze so deep Blaine felt it in his toes.

Blaine got to know Kurt from the times he goferred between floors. That’s how Blaine learned the details of Kurt’s life – everything from how he took his coffee to how he got into fashion. And vice versa. Some days they’d only talk in passing. Other days, they’d sit at Blaine’s makeshift desk in the back corner of the office and conversate over lunch.

Those were the best lunches of Blaine’s life.

Blaine hadn’t sat in on too many of Kurt’s conversations with his colleagues during that time. But from the second he was hired on and promoted to Kurt’s department (a career leap he had hoped Kurt had something to do with), he got a front-row seat to all of the gritty gossip.

Including Kurt’s numerous sexual trysts, both male and female.

That took Blaine by surprise. He was sure Kurt was 100% gay. If he identifies as bi or pan or something else in between, Blaine doesn’t care.

He just wishes Kurt would give him a chance.

Blaine enjoys his new job. He enjoys finally feeling like an integral part of the Vogue machine. And one of the biggest perks of his job is seeing Kurt for eight hours straight.

But they rarely get to talk anymore.

Blaine misses the one-on-one time he spent with Kurt. Up here, amongst Kurt’s entourage, they don’t get too many chances to talk alone.

Blaine has started to think that Kurt had little to nothing to do with his transfer upstairs after all.

“Hey, Blaine!” Kurt says, interrupting Blaine’s thoughts and helping himself to a seat on the corner of Blaine’s desk. “How was your weekend?”

“Not as exciting as yours,” Blaine says, trying to sound good-natured. It comes across a little less than to Blaine’s ears, but not to Kurt’s, who barely seems to be listening, still flipping through the photos on his phone.

“Well, traveling for work can be exciting, but to be honest, my favorite weekends are the ones I get to spend in the comfort of my own home, curled up on the sofa with a good book, a cup of coffee, a little companionship …” Kurt pauses as if he’s waiting for an answer, some sort of commiseration, but Blaine doesn’t know how to give it. After all, Blaine spent the weekend alone with take-out Chinese food and his guitar while Kurt wooed beautiful women in exotic locales. “Speaking of, did you want to see some pictures from my trip?”

“Oh.” Blaine swallows hard. Did he want to see pictures from Kurt’s trip? After hearing what Rachel had to say, probably not. But maybe … yes? If only to see what kind of person turns Kurt on. Blaine has seen photos from some of Kurt’s previous trips, but he’s never been privy to the photos he shows Rachel.

The ones with his lovers in them.

During the entire time they spent getting to know one another, Kurt never mentioned having one-night stands abroad or a harem of lovers at home.

Could this be a way of broaching the subject?

“Sure. That sounds like … fun.”

“Great!” Kurt scrolls to the beginning and hands his phone over. Blaine takes a deep breath, readying himself for the unimaginable, the sordid … and the heartbreaking. Then dives in.

The photos Blaine flips through are pretty run-of-the-mill as far as business trip photos go – Kurt standing shoulder to shoulder with Michael Kors; Kurt in a group shot with the models from the Victoria’s Secret show; Kurt modeling a suit from Alexander McQueen’s new line; Kurt eating dinner with Altuzarra, Proenza Schouler, Thom Browne, and Rodarte; and so on and so on. Nothing too shocking or risqué there, if you overlook the appetizer on the table. God, that’s a lot of cheese for one plate of stuffed mushrooms.

Blaine reaches the end, shaking his head at how unexceptional those pictures were. He doesn’t understand. Aside from what looked like staged photos with models and group photos with colleagues, Kurt’s photographs didn’t have a single woman in them, not one behaving anything close to intimate.

Not at all what Blaine was expecting, unless …

“Um, forgive me for asking, Kurt, but … are these all the photos? I mean …” Blaine gulps, questioning in his own mind if this is an avenue he wants to travel. In the end, he decides yes. Better to know the truth now, full disclosure, before he gives his heart to this man any more than he already has “… it seemed like you were showing Rachel … other photos.”

Kurt quirks a brow. “Oh!” He takes his phone back. “I didn’t think you’d want to see them.” He swipes through folders, then selects one. “You seem like more of a dog person to me.”

“Oh,” is all Blaine can say because that response is kind of … confusing? Was that code? A lot of the people in the office had one. So, were men dogs? Because, otherwise, how can the opposite of woman be dog?

Even without a logical explanation, that sounds sort of rude. Blaine didn’t think that Kurt was that kind of person.

He’s not, Blaine realizes, when Kurt hands him back the phone with the new photos displayed on the screen.

“Kurt” - Blaine swipes through the pictures – artistic, spectacularly composed pictures - with a renewed sense of confusion wrinkling his brow - “these are cats.”

“I know.” Kurt sighs, looking at the pictures from over Blaine’s shoulder. “Aren’t they precious?”

“I … yes, but I …” Blaine hands Kurt back his phone, unable to come up with a coherent sentence “… I don’t understand.”

“Photographing stray cats is a thing with me.” Kurt opens another folder on his phone. This time, instead of handing it to Blaine, he pulls up a chair beside him so he can show him for himself. “Funny when you consider I wasn’t exactly a cat person back in Ohio.”

“Why is that?” Blaine takes this opportunity to pull himself closer under the guise of getting a better look. He breathes in through his nose, the scent of Kurt’s cologne pleasantly subtle, the warmth of his body bleeding through Blaine’s shirt sleeve where his arm rests beside his.

It’s not sitting in Kurt’s lap, but it’s nice.

“In a place like Ohio, stray cats are a menace. They attack native birds and wildlife, get into the trash, poop in your yard. They’re a nuisance in general.”

“I remember.” Blaine chuckles, recalling how his mom’s marigolds were decimated one summer by a local tom cat who wouldn’t stop spraying them.

“But city cats are different. They have an air of sophistication, a wisdom about them. They have scars. They’ve been through things. You can see it in their eyes.” Kurt swipes through photograph after photograph of cats he’s found in New York: sitting on a trashcan in the alley behind his loft, on the steps of the public library, lying brazenly beneath a table at The Four Seasons. “I’ve been photographing city cats ever since I moved to New York. And when I travel and I feel lonely, I roam the streets wherever I am and take pictures of them. I’ve found them in every city from L.A. to India. It makes me feel connected to home. That’s why I have three of them.” He switches to a picture of what Blaine assumes is Kurt’s living room. He sees three cats lying on his sofa – a sleek, black Siamese, a fluffy Maine coon, and a straggly, orange, short-haired beast of a tabby. “Well, I don’t exactly own them. They come to my fire escape and I feed them. I let them inside when it’s raining out. The Siamese I know lives at the bodega down the street, and I think I might be co-opping the tabby with my neighbor.”

Blaine watches the photos change as Kurt swipes them, the three cats lying around his loft as if they own it – draped over the back of the sofa, congregating in a single patch of sunlight, drinking out of bowls on the kitchen table. “That’s … kind of romantic.”

“That’s me.” Kurt shrugs. “Just a silly romantic.” He swipes through the pictures a moment longer before he chooses to speak again. “That’s kind of something I wanted to discuss with you.” He switches off his phone and puts it in his pocket, guaranteeing that he has Blaine’s complete attention.

“Oh?”

“You know, after Isabelle hired you, I had you transferred up here so I could spend a little more time with you …”

“You … you did?” Blaine asks, his heart creeping up his throat.

“Yup. But unlike a lot of the people in this department, you actually spend your time working, so that plan hasn’t gone off nearly as well as I’d hoped.”

“Well, at least now I can afford to pay my rent, so I do thank you for that,” Blaine teases to keep the flirtatious nature of this conversation going. But Kurt nods like that statement might be changing his mind about what he’s mulling over in his head, and Blaine immediately regrets saying it. But before he can backpedal, Kurt asks, “Do you think you could afford to spend a little time away from your apartment and go on a special assignment … with me?”

“What kind of assignment?” Blaine asks, trying to play it cool, recover from his flirting faux pas … none of which he accomplishes when his voice hikes up a few notes.

“Have you ever been to Milan? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my itinerary is packed so tight, it squeaks.”

“I … hadn’t really noticed,” Blaine admits, since he’d tuned Kurt out while he was discussing it. “But I can imagine.”

“It would make my life a helluva lot easier if I had an assistant,” Kurt explains as he inches closer. “You know, someone to juggle my appointments, manage my notes, help with my editing, join me for dinner, maybe a nightcap …”

“Are we allowed to do that?” Blaine asks, praying he and Kurt are on the same page and that he’s not reading too deep into a very platonic invitation to join him on a business related venture.

“Well, there’re no rules at Vogue against employees dating, as long as we’re not obnoxious about it. That is … if that’s something you’d like?”

Blaine chews his lower lip, all pretense of cool, calm, and collected thrown completely out the window. He can’t think of a single thing he’d like more right now than a date with Kurt. “Does this mean you’re going to introduce me to your cats?”

“Blaine” - Kurt puts a bold hand on his knee - “going to Milan will only be our first date. Meeting the cats is a second date activity.”

*** This was originally titled "Cats-anova" but I figured that would be too big a give away xD

[deniseyallen]

Rob's Rundown: Week of July 17-21, 2017

This week, Senator Portman met with his colleagues on health care and discussed his support for repealing and replacing Obamacare, continued to push for comprehensive tax reform and regulatory reform to help create jobs and boost wages, announced exciting news for the Piketon community, and more. For a more in depth look at Senator Portman’s week, please see the following:

Tuesday, July 18

Portman: “I Don’t Think It’s Appropriate Just to Repeal, We’ve Also Got to Put a Replacement In Place”

U.S. Senator Rob Portman (R-OH) made the following remarks about health care on a conference call to Ohio reporters on Tuesday:

“On health care, as you know, I’ve made my concerns very clear about the current health care system. I think the Affordable Care Act has not been good for Ohio. Premiums and deductibles have skyrocketed, typically for middle class families and for small businesses. This has been a huge problem. I had some constituents come in today and a guy and his wife told me about their premiums going up, and more importantly for them is that their deductible is so high it’s like they don’t have insurance, and they’re in one of those counties, you know, that’s having a tough time because insurers are leaving. So it’s not just that Ohio has suffered from a nearly doubling of our health care premium costs just in the last four years—82 percent increase in small businesses—but there’s also been a lot fewer choices. 

“We now have 19 counties in Ohio without a single insurer in the individual market. We have another 27 counties now with just one insurer. So it’s a real problem, and we need to lower the cost of coverage, and at the same time provide access to quality care and protect the most vulnerable, particularly because we expanded Medicaid. I’ve been very clear about that, I’ve expressed my concerns about the existing healthcare system, but also about the proposal that came out of the House, and the proposal that came out of the Senate initially. I don’t think they were responsive to what we have going on in Ohio, which is not just expansion of Medicaid, but an opioid epidemic and Medicaid is a significant payer for that. But I’ve rolled up my sleeves and I’ve worked to find common ground with my colleagues to try to come up with positive solutions that are in the best interest of Ohio and our country and I’m going to continue to do that.

“I have said consistently that I support repeal and replace, and I’m not giving up on doing both of those things. I don’t think it’s appropriate just to repeal, we’ve also got to put a replacement in place to help deal with the very issues I just talked about. Over the past year, as I’ve said, we’ve had a lot of destabilization of our insurance market in Ohio. That’s true around the country. Ohio has been hit harder than most states though, I will say. When the 2015 bill was passed we had at least two insurance companies providing insurance, writing insurance in every Ohio County. Most counties had multiple insurance companies. We’ve gone, by the way, during that period from 16 insurance companies in Ohio to about 10. And again, 19 counties now have no insurance company in the individual market and 27 only one insurer. And, so, there’s an urgency here for Ohio, and the best approach I think is to continue to work with my colleagues in the hopes that we can come together around a replacement plan that actually works to address these problems. These are real problems and we can’t ignore them.”

Portman’s statement on May 4 following House passage of the American Health Care Act can be found here.

Portman’s statement on June 22 following the release of the first Senate health care discussion draft can be found here.

Portman’s statement on June 27 opposing the first Senate health care draft can be found here.

Portman’s statement on July 3 following the release of the second Senate health care draft can be found here.

Portman Statement on USTR’s NAFTA Negotiating Objectives

Portman issued the following statement upon the release of United States Trade Representative Robert Lighthizer’s negotiating objectives for the renegotiation of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA):

“I applaud USTR and the Administration’s commitment to maintain open markets, promote trade enforcement cooperation, modernize de minimus standards, and ensure NAFTA countries do not manipulate their currencies in their NAFTA negotiating objectives outline.  I look forward to continuing to work with the Administration as they work to promote U.S. exports and protect against unfair imports by updating NAFTA for the 21st century.”

At Finance Committee Hearing, Portman Says Tax Reform Means More Jobs & Better Wages

Portman, a member of the Senate Finance Committee, questioned experts at a hearing on comprehensive tax reform on Tuesday. Portman discussed the urgent need to pass comprehensive tax reform in order to create job opportunities and boost wages. Portman has been outspoken on the need to fix our broken tax code to make Ohio and American workers more competitive on the global stage.

Transcript of his remarks can be found here and a video can be found here.

Wednesday, July 19

Exposure to Fentanyl is Putting our Police Officers in Danger

Earlier this year, Senator Portman highlighted East Liverpool Police Officer Chris Green, whose story went viral after he accidentally overdosed on fentanyl from the powder remaining on his uniform after an arrest. Sadly, stories like that of Officer Green are becoming increasingly common as fentanyl—the deadly drug that is up to 50 times more powerful than heroin—proliferates across our country. Just this week, a Cleveland police officer was hospitalized after coming into contact with what law enforcement believes to be fentanyl. The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports:

As heroin and fentanyl continue to kill users in record numbers, law enforcement officials in Northeast Ohio are now warning of how exposure to the drug can harm or even kill people who simply come into contact with the powerful opioids.

A Cleveland police officer was hospitalized Wednesday morning after coming into contact with suspected fentanyl while executing a search warrant at a home in the city's North Colinwood neighborhood.

If police confirm that the officer indeed came in contact with fentanyl, he would join a host of law enforcement and unsuspecting people from across the country to get ill this year by inadvertently exposing themselves to the deadly drug.   

Senator Portman authored the bipartisan Synthetics Trafficking & Overdose Prevention (STOP) Act to help address this crisis. The STOP Act is designed to help prevent dangerous synthetic drugs like fentanyl from being shipped through our borders to drug traffickers here in the United States. Specifically, the bill would require shipments from foreign countries through our postal system to provide electronic advance data—such as who and where the package is coming from, who it’s going to, where it is going, and what’s in it—before crossing our borders and entering the United States.  Having this information in advance will enable Customs & Border Protection (CBP) to better target potential illegal packages and keep these dangerous drugs from ending up in the hands of drug traffickers who want to harm our local communities.

Portman, on the Senate floor, on national TV, in op-eds, and more, is saying that now is the time to act on the STOP Act  to help turn the tide of the addiction epidemic and stop these dangerous drugs from being shipped into our communities through the postal service. During a recent hearing on this issue, Portman, as Chair of the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, asked the witnesses “how many more Americans have to die before our government gets its act together?” In the hearing, Newtown Police Chief, Thomas Synan and Cuyahoga County Medical Examiner, Dr. Thomas Gilson, as well as Robert Perez, Acting Executive Assistant Commissioner at the U.S. Customs and Border Protection, confirmed to Portman that the STOP Act would help fight back against the rising threat of fentanyl. As this story illustrates, the STOP Act, endorsed by the Fraternal Order of Police and the Major County Sheriffs of America, is needed now to help stop the influx of deadly fentanyl and other deadly drugs from overseas.

Thursday, July 20

Portman Statement Regarding Senator John McCain

Portman released the following statement regarding U.S. Senator John McCain (R-AZ):

“John is a true patriot who has dedicated his entire life to the United States of America. He is an American hero—having served his country during the Vietnam War where he bravely endured over five years as a prisoner of war. Even in those unimaginable circumstances, he refused to relent.

“John is the type of guy who fights with everything he’s got. And so as he faces his greatest battle yet, I know there is no one more capable and determined to overcome this next challenge in his already historic life.

“Jane and I are sending our love and prayers to John, his beautiful wife Cindy, and the entire McCain family.

“Get well soon, John. We need you back.”

Portman: “Ralph Regula Was Small in Stature But a Giant of a Man”

Portman recorded this video following the passing of Ralph Regula. A transcript can be found here.

Portman, Goodlatte Welcome Regulatory Experts’ Support for Comprehensive Regulatory Reform

Regulatory experts from across the country sent a letter to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) urging them to enact comprehensive regulatory reform. As stated in the letter, a “modern regulatory process is vital to foster a growing and innovative economy, alleviate budgetary pressures, protect the health and welfare of all Americans, and contribute to the prosperity and quality of life needed to increase national standards of living.” That is why Senator Rob Portman (R-OH) has authored the bipartisan Regulatory Accountability Act, legislation that will make federal regulations smarter and more effective so they better support businesses, families, and jobs, and modernize the federal regulatory process that hasn’t been significantly reformed in 70 years. The RAA, approved by Homeland Security & Governmental Affairs Committee, is awaiting a vote on the Senate floor. Chairman Goodlatte championed the House version of the bill which passed in January.

“When I’m back home, whether it’s at a small auto body shop, or a big steel plant, or a soybean farm, I hear the same thing: burdensome regulations from Washington are hurting their efforts to grow their business and create jobs. People are frustrated and they should be; the regulatory process hasn’t been significantly reformed in 70 years,” said Portman. “Senator Heitkamp and I introduced the bipartisan RAA to give our economy a shot in the arm and to help raise wages for Americans all across our country. I am pleased that regulatory experts are pushing for the kinds of common-sense reforms found in our bill that will make American workers more competitive in the global economy and put more people back to work. Passing the RAA is a great opportunity to break through partisan gridlock and get something done that will create jobs, raise wages, and make a difference in people’s lives. I am optimistic we can get this done.”

The RAA is widely supported by Ohio business leaders. Senator Portman has highlighted the RAA at businesses across Ohio and on national TV.

Full text of the letter can be found here.

On Fox News, Portman Discusses Senator McCain, Civility, Tax Reform and Health Care

During an interview on Fox News, Senator Portman discussed his hopes for a speedy recovery for his colleague Senator McCain, the importance of civility in our political discourse, the need to enact comprehensive tax reform to help boost wages and bring back jobs and investments lost to overseas competitors, and his support for repealing and replacing Obamacare with a solution that lowers costs for Ohio families and gives states more flexibility.

Excerpts from the interview can be found here and you can watch the video here.

Friday, July 21

Portman Announces Energy Secretary Rick Perry Will Visit Piketon Plant on July 31

Portman released the following statement announcing that Secretary of Energy Rick Perry will visit the Portsmouth Gaseous Diffusion Plant and former American Centrifuge Project facility in Piketon on July 31st:

“I’m excited to announce that Secretary Perry has accepted my invitation to visit the cleanup site of the Portsmouth Gaseous Diffusion Plant to get a firsthand look at the cleanup work and to see the importance of the work to the local economy. Secretary Perry made a personal commitment to me that he will use his executive experience to better manage the work at Piketon to ensure the site can be cleaned up faster and reindustrialized for a new purpose that will benefit the Piketon economy.

“I’m also pleased to show Secretary Perry the factory where the American Centrifuge Project was located. Secretary Perry understands the importance of having a domestic enrichment capability and I’m excited to showcase the potential the site still has for future enrichment activity.”

NOTE: Earlier this year, Portman invited Secretary of Energy Rick Perry to come to Piketon to see firsthand the decontamination and decommissioning operations. During his confirmation hearing, Secretary Perry committed to Portman that he would visit the Portsmouth site. Portman has worked every year to secure the funding necessary to keep the cleanup project on track and to protect jobs. Previously, Portman grilled former Energy Secretary Ernest Moniz for his department’s failure to use funding provided by Congress and therefore causing layoffs in Piketon. Portman repeatedly called on the Obama Administration to uphold their promises to the Piketon community to provide adequate funding to avoid layoffs.

from Rob Portman http://www.portman.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/rob-s-rundown?ContentRecord_id=39280042-21AF-4143-9E9D-96CC3414E70E