#pennyworth spoilers

[thefriendlyneighborhoodqueer]

sometimes i think about how funny it would be if bruce had a slight english accent as a result of alfred being the only adult in his life for most of his formative years. that or he just says british slang instead of english.

this either drives his children insane, or they think it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

__________________________

Bruce: Can you pass the chips?

Dick: Sure, B. *passes over the potato chips*

Bruce: No, the chips.

Dick: ???? … yeah? here?

Bruce: NO! THE CHIPS! *gesturing wildly for the french fries*

Damian: Father, are you having a stroke?

———

Batman: Alright, this mission is very important. It is imperative that everything goes to schedule. (shh-edule)

*red robin and red hood snicker*

Batman: *glare* As I was saying, it all must go to shh-edule…

RR & RH : *uproariously laughter *

Batman: *harsher glare* Is something funny?

RR: Oh nothing, B, don’t worry.

RH: Absolutely nothing wrong, “left-tenant”

RR & RH: *dying of laughter *

———

Bruce: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Duke: … You sound like Alfred…

Bruce: *horrified look over coming him* … what

Cass: *furious nodding*

*Some time later, after B has been fished out of Gotham Harbor, which he jumped into after declaring that he “couldn’t turn into his father”*

Alfred: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Bruce: *white as a sheet* … Sorry Alfie…

*Steph is heard furiously cackling in the background*

_______________________

anyways i just thought this was fun

[lilsoupboiii]

Even more of my personal favorite panels from s2 of Batman: Wayne Family Adventures

[jesterraconteuse]

You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?

[thebibliosphere]

I'm still not that far ahead, but I need you to know Alfred claims to have coined the phrase "no shit, Sherlock" from his days in MI5.

Also, someone has kidnapped him and is forcing him to relive his early days in MI5. He's just realized it's not dramatic enough to be a Batman villain, so his only logical conclusion is that MI5 is tying up loose ends and is about to rub him out after they gain access to his memories.

He's also just realized they don't know he's essentially Batman's father and grandfather to several highly competent vigilantes whose mental health and moral compasses are hanging on by a thread--that thread being Alfred--which, lmaaaaao. lol, even.

MI5 is about to get wiped out.

The blast radius is going to be visible from space.

I haven't gotten far, but I love that the Pennyworth comics (based on the show) start with Alfred literally dangling someone off the top of the Eiffel Tower by their toes for information.

Starting off as we mean to go on, I see.

[gffa]

"A TORNADO IN SWEATPANTS" IS A PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF DICK GRAYSON <3

[pinkiemachine]

Everyone say: FAMILY VACATION!!!

[why-i-love-comics]

DC's Lex & The City #1 - "A Valentine's Day Gift for Poison Ivy" (2025)

written by Maggie Tokuda-Hall art by Leslie Hung & Rachael Cohen

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Bruce: Who the fuck added me to a group chat?

Alfred: Language, Master Bruce.

Dick: Yea! Watch your fuckin language!

Jason: Ok, who taught Dick the fuck word?

Stephanie: ‘The fuck word’.

Tim: You guys say the f word all the time..

Dick: Oh, my god, he censored it.

Stephanie: Say fuck, Tim.

Jason: Do it, Replacement. Say fuck.

[incorrectbatfam]

Can we get the event that caused the driver ejector button to be removed?

Bruce: You should've called me. You should've done ANYTHING other than—

Bruce: *keeps lecturing*

Robin!Dick: *ejects him*

———————

Bruce: How are you liking the Batmobile, chum?

Robin!Jason: It's awesome! What's this button do?

Bruce: No don't that's—

Bruce: *gets ejected*

———————

Robin!Tim: Can I change the radio station?

Bruce: Sure.

Tim: *fumbles around in the dark*

Tim: *hits eject*

*Batmobile automatically comes to a stop*

Bruce: *walks over and gets back in*

Tim: ...My bad.

———————

Robin!Steph: I'm sick of this guy.

Steph: *ejects Bruce*

———————

Bruce and Cass: *on a long drive*

Cass: I'm bored.

Cass: *hits the button*

———————

Damian: Father, may I drive the Batmobile?

Bruce: No, you're too young.

Damian: *hovers his finger over the button*

Bruce: Don't even think about it.

Damian: Tt, I was merely joking.

Bruce: Hng.

Damian:

Damian: *ejects him*

Damian: Element of surprise.

———————

Bruce: Oracle, coordinates?

Barbara: Sending them over.

Bruce: These directions will take too long. I know a shortcut.

Barbara: I'm looking at the traffic cams and you really shouldn't—

Bruce: I know what I'm doing.

Barbara: *remotely ejects him*

Barbara: Jackass.

———————

Bruce: Before you drive the Batmobile yourself, you need to familiarize yourself with the controls. That's the emergency light button, that's the Bluetooth connection, and these two are for the cupholders.

Duke: What about this big red one?

Bruce: *sighs*

Bruce: *gets ejected*

Duke: He's got to start labeling these.

———————

Bruce: Good news, everyone. We got a new Batmobile.

Alfred: What was wrong with the old one?

Bruce: *eye twitches*

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

The Batkids doing something considered rebellious and Bruce is unimpressed because "been there, done that" headcanon :

Damian runs away and sleeps under a bridge at some point -> Bruce did it at nine years old.

Tim gets piercings (bonus : Kon pierced him) -> Bruce had his nipples pierced by Minkhoa back in the days.

Jason gets home smelling of weed -> Bruce didn't only taste foreign food around the world when he was training...

Steph gets a mohawk -> Bruce had a bright pink mohawk at some point to piss Alfred off.

Dick anonymously starts an OF -> Bruce may or may not have leaked his own sextapes (yes, multiple) for "legitimate Batman-related" reasons.

Cass accidentally joins a cult -> Bruce and Minkhoa competitively founded a cult to see who would get to be the ultimate guru.

Duke finds himself in custody for whatever silly reason really -> Bruce went to prison (more than once) (in different countries) (for terrible motives) (he's still blacklisted in some of those countries)

[celestialgalaxyglow]

Batfam and Danny, part 1

Jason was at first hesitant about the floating white-haired green-eyed child that offered to be his sidekick. Evermore so when the kid told him that he knew that Jason had been dead. He explained that he could tell because he himself was half-ghost. Despite his hesitations he decided to take the kid on for a trial period.

The kid proved to be skilled, and knew how to deal with the many criminals that made business in Gotham. Over the last month he found himself growing closer to the boy, and upon learning that his parents tried to kill him for his half-ghostly nature, he decided to take a page from his old man's book and "legally" adopt the kid, this black-haired blue-eyed kid, his new son, Danny.

Now came the hard part, introducing him to his family. He had sent Alfred a message saying that he would make an appearance for the weekly family dinner with an additional guest. The following day they arrived at the manor. As they walked into the dinning room the rest of the family were already seated, he and Danny made their way to their seats.

Alfred: Master Jason, thank you for joining us tonight.

Jason: Of course Alfred. Jason looked at Danny and stood. Everyone I would like you all to meet Daniel, he goes by Danny. He's my new sidekick... and of a week ago my adopted son.

The rest of the family stopped eating and looked at Jason.

Bruce: You... adopted?

Damian: I'm rather surprised, I would have expected Richard to be the first on of us to adopt a child, he is the most like father. Nevertheless I shall take my new responsibilities as an uncle with great humility.

Dick: Damn, Damian what did I ever do to you? How am I the most like dad?

Bruce: What's wrong with being like me- No, where getting off point. Jason you adopted?

Jason: I did.

Bruce: I- hi Danny, welcome to the family.

Danny: Hi grandpa!

Snickering could be heard across the table.

Bruce: Hi kiddo, so how you two meet?

Danny: I followed him home and in through the window. I became his sidekick, then his son, and now we're here.

Jason: Danny is a meta, an experiment gone wrong caused him to become half-ghost, it's a little complicated, but he has some neat powers.

Tim: What happened to your parents?

Danny: They tried to kill me because of my powers.

Cass (signing): We know our next targets then.

Bruce: Cass no. Jason how did you even adopt Danny?

Jason: I stole one of the pre-notarized adoption papers you keep in your desk.

Bruce: Ahh. Well I'll still ask Barbara to make that 100% official.

Stephany: Don't worry Danny at one point our another all our adopts legally were questionable at best.

Danny: Ok.

Bruce: Well it's good to have you here with us Danny. You two are welcomed to spend the night and join us for training in the morning?

Jason (looking at Danny, who was looking at him): Sure.

Alfred: Splendid, now let's eat, supper is getting cold. And I don't want Master Daniel's first dinner as part of the family to a less than perfect.

They all started eating.

Danny: Oh, I'm also the Supreme King of the Infinite Realms, High King of the Ghost Zone, and King of all Ghosts.

Jason: I knew I was forgetting something.

Danny and Jason went back to eating as the rest of the family looked at them bewildered.

(Master Post)

[yzur02]

Alfred, looking at Damian: he looks more like his grandparent everyday

Cass: Ra's?

Alfred: no, miss Cassandra, his other grandparent

Cass: *confused head tilt* uh?

Hours later:

Alfred: *doing chores*

Corrie: *runs in* there you are!

Alfred: *takes extinguisher* is something wrong?

Corrie: no, no, all's fine, we just needed you a second, I found him!!

Everybody runs into the room, Jason steps forward while holding Damian by the armpits, leveling his face with Alfred's

Damian, hopefully: so?

Corrie: right th- no, that's not it...

Steph: if you squint... maybe?

Tim: if you tilt your head kinda... no

Jason:... *sigh* nope, I don't see it

Damian: tt perhaps the suit wasn't such an horrendous idea

Steph: a moustache?

Dick: don't worry, I know you will grow on it

Bruce: what's going on?

Cass: Alfred said Damian was growing to look like grandpa, so we wanted to check... *frowns* but he doesn't look like Alfred

[scarlett-witch-simp]

SNL in the DC Universe 100% made a skit about Bruce Wayne the himbo billionaire with a chronic adoption addiction.

The Batkids 100% guessed starred in it without Bruce's knowledge or permission

[thebibliosphere]

... that's how the show ends?

--[Spoilers]--

They nuked London. Like, straight up nuked it. There is no more London in this version of the DC universe. Fucking Hell. They don't do anything by halves, do they?

Hang on. I just looked it up, and the Pennyworth timeline is supposed to be in the same universe as the Gotham show timeline*?

Fucksake. Here I was, blaming James Gordon for being an entity of chaos irradiating the city with his Main Character Energy (MCE), and all this time, he was a casualty of the greater mushroom cloud hovering over Alfred like a tear in the fabric of the universe.

--- [Spoilers]---

*according to Danny Cannon who wrote and produced for both, though there are several inconsistencies that don't add up.

Like Alfred in Gotham not knowing Lucius Fox despite working with him in Pennyworth for the govt. (This would mean Lucius also got drastically de-aged at some point and lost his memories, and Alfred is merely pretending not to know about Thomas working for the CIA -- or maybe he also got his memory wiped in whatever event de-aged Lucius.)

That and the whole, y'know, Thomas and Martha Wayne working for the CIA and England falling briefly into a civil war following WW2, which is never mentioned in Gotham, not once. Though fair cop to them, Gotham's almost perpetually in a state of civil war in the streets, so maybe they just think that's a normal Tuesday.

Maybe it's more fair to say they're parallel timelines that share several similarities than the same timeline.

[gffa]

STOP MAKING IT BORING! Yeah, Bruce, stop making the life and death training BORING lmao I love this child.

[pinkiemachine]

When Batman is in one of his real bad moods and he says something to his kids that we both know Wonder Woman will make him regret.™️