#osdd symptoms

[thefluxsystem]

You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?

The emotional amnesia.

Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.

You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.

It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?

And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.

[multiplicity-positivity]

(Image ID:) a blue, green, and white graphic titled “Depersonalization versus Derealization: Exploring the differences in two dissociative symptoms” organized in two columns. The left hand column is titled “Depersonalization” with a stock icon of a head with a scribbled like for the brain. The right hand column is titled “Derealization” with a stock icon of a broken heart.

The statements in the “Depersonalization” column read: “I have trouble recognizing myself, including my reflection and aspects of my identity,” “I feel as though I don’t exist, like I’m invisible, or like someone besides me is controlling my body,” “I feel disconnected from thoughts, memories, and actions, and have a weak sense of identity,” and “I feel numb physically and emotionally when recalling my own past or painful events.”

The statements in the “Derealization” column read: “I have trouble recognizing my surroundings and environment,” “I feel as though the world around me doesn’t exist, including places and people I interact with daily,” “I feel disconnected from reality and struggle to determine what’s real and what isn’t,” and “I feel numb to the world around me, and daily life seems foggy, unreal, and fake.”

Below these columns is the word “sources:” with the following links:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/dissociative-disorders/

https://www.isst-d.org/public-resources-home/fact-sheet-iv-what-are-the-dissociative-disorders/

https://www.dpmanual.com/articles/depersonalization-and-derealization-whats-the-difference/

(END ID)

This infographic was made by us, Halberd (@dreamlandsystem). Feel free to save and share as much as you’d like. Program used: Canva. Image credits: Pixabay. This infographic explores our personal experiences with DPDR, with additional sources for further reading.

[holder-culture-is]

Depression Holder Flag!

Flag made by us

ׂ╰┈➤ For alters that hold symptoms of the body’s depression

Please reblog & credit if used !! :]

[system-role-flags]

🌈BPD Symptom Holder Flag🍭

Flag for alters who hold symptoms of BPD

**ENDOS DNI**

[boxesforsys]

This [x] is hypersexual userboxes! I used the hypersexuality flag here, made by @epikulupu

Click for quality!

[ratzhatz14]

Her design has been stuck in my head, and I tried to recreate my thoughts as accurately as possible

Say hello to the newest addition,

Fizzy the Soda Fizz!

I tried to recreate cola from memory don't take a butter knife and stab me please 💔💔💔

Fizzy is team House, but really wants to be team Party since... She's energetic

Fizzy goes by She/her, and heterosexuality is her opp (there is NO straight toon in SDPH, and IDGAFUUUUUCKKKKK /hj)

When moving fast, Fizzy's body will fizz up abit (esp at the joints)

Fizzy and Glaze sometimes trade candies, specially Fizzy

Buddies w/ Disco because↓

Fizzy & Disco = Poppy & Boxten

Anyway, extra stuff about this liquid

Argrjsjkwnsndddugfjdfxjxtu idk what else to add help me

Istfg if someone makes a Fizz = Rizz joke I will execute her in the most brutal way possible /markmywords

Edit; those gumballs hairbands & belt were inspired by those candy necklaces/bracelets which are basically edible jewelry

[botanical-garden-system]

Man. We just want other traumagenic system friends that understand the disorderly dissociation without shaming us for being neutral/supportive of everyone having their own journey.

It sucks so bad that we keep alienating our already rather small community. I feel so lonely in my experiences, and it hurts because my denial makes it even harder to accept.

I just want peace, man.

[amore-et-al]

Begging people to stop the fucking misinformation about alters not presenting until young adulthood. As far as I've been able to tell, this came from an ANONYMOUS TIKTOK COMMENT of some random person claiming to be a counselor and people took it and ran with it so hard. I've seen multiple trauma/dissociative specialists and all of them have said it's incredibly common for alters to be developed and presenting in childhood. I've not found a single reliable source actually stating alters do not develop until adulthood, just people parroting this information with no sources

A lot of the people I see spreading this are the ones apparently dedicated to calling out misinformation about the disorder, but if you actually read up on it you'd know that alters usually DO emerge in childhood, age 5 and a half approximately is the average according to most studies I've found.

This also makes no sense considering what we know about how DID develops. Host states are alters - they are not any more real and not necessarily more developed than other identity states. It makes no sense that only the host state would be developed until adulthood, especially considering that alters have roles they formed to take, meaning they inherently had to be fronting during childhood in order to cope with and take on trauma.

You're not anti-misinformation if you listen to randos on tiktok over specialists in the field and actual studies. Read a fucking book.

[thefluxsystem]

There is not a moment that goes by in which I do not despise being a system.

No amount of love for the others, no amount of talking it through, no amount of community building will ever change the torment that comes from a disorder like this.

Every second is a reminder that my entire upbringing was founded in inescapable pain and suffering.

I was broken into pieces before I was big enough to defend myself.

My free will was stripped from me before I could so much as babble.

My life will always move on without me, in spite of me. I will continue to lose people with no option of goodbye. Oftentimes I will never learn why they even left.

Nothing belongs to me. My existence, my voice, my body, all are mine to borrow, but never mine to own.

This was done to me, and for the rest of my life, I will pay for the sins of my perpetrators while they continue to thrive.

All this to be here, to be told I “make this stuff up for fun”. Tell me, what sounds fun about this?

[radiostaticsmile]

On Alters and Personality Disorders

Disclaimer that I am not a researcher and this is based on my understanding of different studies and of my own personal experience being a system with personality disorders and knowing systems with personality disorders

Often I see the question can on alter have a personality disorder that other alters do not. It seems to be hotly debated without a real answer, most people just extrapolate because studies on that specifically are hard to find and combine knowledge of systems and personality disorders but be used to make an inference. I am going to be doing the same thing here, 

However one thing that I have not seen anyone mention that has greatly helped my understanding of this topic is the idea which has begun to exist relatively recently within psychology that personality disorders are really all the same thing at its core, a disorder which occurs in response to trauma, and the specific symptoms and disorder you will be diagnosed with is dependant on which survival methods worked best for the traumatizing situation that the person was in. 

For example in situations where it was dangerous and likely to get the victim hurt by their abuser to care about the abusers feelings they will likely develop a PD with low empathy like NPD or ASPD. For situations where avoiding the abuser was possible and the best method something like AVPD may occur. And those who need to be highly attuned to their abusers emotional state and weather they get hurt or not depends on how the abuser is feeling may develop BPD. This is an over simplification but you get the picture. 

Dissociative disorders are also caused by trauma. And abuse is complicated, so different survival strategies may work at different times, and using a method that works sometimes will actively get you abused more at other times. For singlets this can cause more than one personality disorder with symptoms that mix and overlap. For dissociative systems, this can mean different alters present different symptoms. Alters will often form because the system needs different survival strategies in different situations, and different alters will fill those roles. So it makes sense some alters will have symptoms of a personality disorder that another alter does not have. One alter may fit enough criteria for a diagnoses of a specific personality disorder while others may be missing key aspects of the disorder, so in tis way I do think it is possible. You can say they are just symptom holders and the whole system has it, or you can say just they have it, its really just arguing semantics at that point, since it is fairly clear within the community that many systems have alters who meet diagnostic criteria while other alters in the same system do not.

I do think it is possible for an alter to have a specific personality disorder that is not system wide, because specific personality disorders are not really separate from each other, but rather which symptoms do you present, and different alters present different symptoms. However, I also think that if any alter has a personality disorder, everyone in the system would most likely have a personality disorder of some kind (unless they have a highly specialized role or are a fragment that would prevent this, but the system as a whole would still be personality disordered). This is because the trauma changing the brain that created the personality disorders affects the whole system. It can affect different alters differently, and some specific symptom sets may be contained to only a few alters, but being personality disordered in general would affect everyone, or at least that is what I have come to believe based on my experience and research. 

It also seems like just based on what I have seen that alters will frequently gravitate around a few presentations/specific disorders that show up in several alters, like a system of six may have 5 with BPD, and 3 of those also have NPD (meaning 2 with both), more likely than every alter having an extremely different disorder presentation from each other, and then varying symptoms between alters within those subsets of symptoms. This however is not based on any research and is just personal experience since this topic really hasn't been studied enough.

This is not meant to invalidate or dictact any one else's experience or beliefs around the topic but I haven't seen anyone discuss the theory that personality disorders are a single disorder with highly varied presentation and I wanted to add that idea to the conversation.

[theaetherarchives]

I wrote a document about Research and Resources on Dissociation and Dissociative Disorders that has detailed explanations of symptom criteria, differentiation between disorders, and more.

It also has a list of other resource links on DID

Feel free to read!!!

. . .

[holder-culture-is]

Hypersexual-holder little culture is constantly thinking “Stop babying me, I’m not a kid!” But also “Don’t be weird to me, I’m just a kid.”

-🍧

People need to be normal about littles honestly! Respect their boundaries as you would any other alter! Have a great day, 🍧.

(Btw, if this was meant to be on anon, don’t be afraid to tell us ^^ we’ll take it down and repost it with js the screenshot :3)

[system-role-flags]

🌈Autistic Symptom Holder Flag🍭

Flag for alters who hold symptoms of autism

**ENDO DNI**

[antiendovents]

I've been following you for a bit and noticed how you said your system has NPD (at least I hope, our memories can get mixed up and such)

I want to know a little more about the disorder if that's okay. Mostly, how it appears for systems.

If that's okay, that would be nice. My system has recently been trying to find ourselves out a little more now that we are getting help, and we think we show signs of it. -Citrus

yes, we do have NPD ^_^ don't worry you didn't get it wrong

So for us our alters sort of display the different kinds of NPD, I guess. We're all affected by it at different levels, most of us are covert Narcissists but some of us are overt (mainly the symptom holders)

we have different levels of empathy and different ways of expressing the symptoms, so it was a little hard to figure out that we had NPD, but after looking at the criteria we found most of us do have them just presented differently ((I feel like I've said that tons of times now))

For example, our alter, Achilles, is a symptom holder. He's very overt with his NPD, isn't afraid to state he thinks he's the best, often gets extremely defensive if people criticise him, ect. But our host, zim, is very covert, rarely ever speaks up or says he's superior even when he sort of(?) thinks so, he reacts badly when criticised but instead of having an argument with them like Achilles would, he just withdraws himself.

I don't know if any of this is helpful, but I hope you at least found some answer to your question ^_^

[dissociative-memes]

[No, it's not the same as

"zoning out" or "lost in thought"]

Dissociative disorders aren't the same as normal dissociation.

[shapes-and-colors-sys]

Chronic pain holder

Definition: An alter who holds the symptoms of the bodies chronic pain

Coined by us!

-Elissabat