multiplicity-positivity

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for fictives who feel complicated about their source!

It’s quite common and totally normal for fictives to have complicated, conflicted, or confusing feelings about their source! Most introjects cannot choose our sources, and it’s okay if we don’t know how to feel about them or have difficulties engaging with them for whatever reason. If you’re a fictive who has complicated feelings regarding your source, this post is for you!

🌀 Shoutout to fictives with exotrauma that makes it difficult to enjoy their source!

⭕️ Shoutout to fictives who both love and hate their source at the same time!

🔆 Shoutout to fictives in trauma-formed systems whose source reminds them of their trauma history!

🌀 Shoutout to fictives who are both uncomfortable with being compared to their source, and want to be viewed as their source!

⭕️ Shoutout to fictives who feel like they should separate from their source, but don’t want to die any reason!

🔆 Shoutout to fictives who often go back and forth on how they view their source!

🌀 Shoutout to fictives who love some aspects about their source but dislike others!

⭕️ Shoutout to fictives who have complicated feelings about their source due to being very canon divergent!

🔆 Shoutout to fictives whose ideas about their source would be considered strange, uncommon, or unorthodox by others!

🌀 Shoutout to fictives who wish they could avoid thinking about or interacting with their source entirely due to their complex feelings about it!

⭕️ Shoutout to fictives whose exomemories don’t align with their source, making it difficult for them to understand it!

For any fictive, there is no one right or wrong way to feel about your source. It’s okay and it makes sense to have complicated, complex, confusing, or conflicted thoughts or feelings regarding it! These feelings don’t invalidate you at all as a fictive, introject, or beloved member of your system. You still belong in your system and in the plural community just the way you are!

If you’re a fictive with complicated feelings about your source, please know that we are rooting for you and care about you in all that you do. You should never feel obligated to think or feel a certain way about your source! We hope that you can take it easy for a while and treat yourself and your system with kindness and gentleness in the future. Thank you so much for reading, and have a lovely day!

[multiplicity-positivity]

hello? i hope this is not much bother, but i was wondering if i/we could get some advice.

(tw anti endo, fakeclaiming)

so. our collective found out that a friend of ours that we haven't spoken to in a long while is anti-endo. problem is, they aren't aware of our traumagen, plus other origins? and we are pretty sure they are a singlet, but they put endo systems in quotes like we aren't real. and we really wanted to talk to them again, but we are still very scared...

we have yet to confront them about it, but is there anything we can say/offer them to help them understand endogenic systems aren't bad? or should we give it up completely?

thank you for taking your time to read this,

-Kris from 🏢🪐 collective

hey, every person is different, and we may not have a perfect answer on how you can convince this person of the validity of endogenic systems. we’ve found that, for many, but not all anti endos, they may bury their head in the sand and refuse to listen to reason, be respectful, or acknowledge research that explores plurality without trauma. sometimes they may feel like the community or self-righteousness they feel from being anti endo makes it worth being ignorant. sometimes they’re uninterested in change because the concept is scary or difficult for them.

that being said… here are some things you may do.

first - maybe just talk about the vastness of the plural spectrum. talk about how plurality simply means being more than one, nothing more. talk about how plurality can often be a symptom of dissociative disorders, but is not a disorder in and of itself.

second - establish that as a rule, you don’t like to police the lived experiences of others, and maybe they shouldn’t either. that individuals know what they’re going through more than anyone else ever could. that trying to dictate what someone else can and cannot experience is in poor taste, especially when not backed by research.

third - and as far as research goes… we have two thoughts.

research that studies dissociative disorders doesn’t prove or disprove endogenic plurality. it has little to nothing to do with endogenic plurality. so the research that claims that you need trauma in order to form a dissociative disorder is talking about just that. dissociative disorders. not plurality as a whole.

also, there is research that acknowledges plurality without trauma. the language they use may be different, and they may never say “endogenic systems,” outright, but it’s still there. here are some of our favorite studies into different forms of multiplicity that don’t inherently involve traumagenic origins:

‘I’ve learned I need to treat my characters like people’: Varieties of agency and interaction in Writers’ experiences of their Characters’ Voices

Conceptualizing multiplicity spectrum experiences: A systematic review and thematic synthesis

The Inner Vehicle: Prayer, Tulpamancy, and the Magic of the Mind

in the end, if you haven’t spoken to this friend in a long time, it very well may be best to leave this alone and go your separate ways. they might feel slighted if you want to reconnect for the sole purpose of convincing them that they’re wrong about something. at the very least, if you do reconnect, maybe spend some time getting to know each other again and reforging your connection before bringing the topic of endogenic systems into the discussion.

finally, know that your origins and your system are both valid regardless of what this person or anyone else thinks. it could be worth it for you all to spend some time reaffirming your identities and finding some form of internal validation before having these discussions. don’t let their thoughts or closed-mindedness change the way you view yourselves, if you are certain about your origins. no one else’s opinions of you, your system, or your validity should matter - you all exist, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

we know that doing something like this can be tricky and difficult. if you want further information, we answered an ask over a year ago with some common misconceptions anti endos have about endogenic plurality, which we’ll link here in case y’all might find it useful:

sorry this got so long, but we hope it helps. good luck to you with having these difficult conversations with your friend.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for headmates who hold onto their system’s past habits!

Change can often be very challenging and, for some systems, headmates may be left behind with the traits that used to belong to their collective. If you are headmate who maintains habits that the rest of your system has abandoned, this post is for you!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who still struggle with negative coping methods that their system has since moved on from!

🌻 Shoutout to headmates who often feel stuck in the past or negative memories, or feel stagnant and incapable of change!

🪻 Shoutout to headmates who have taken on a role involving old habits that the rest of their system no longer keep!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who have old habits rooted in anger, fear, depression, or anxiety that their system doesn’t struggle with anymore!

🌻 Shoutout to headmates who feel lost, confused, or left out of their system due to holding on to habits which have been discarded by the rest of their system!

🪻 Shoutout to headmates who find change more difficult and challenging than their other system members!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who did change, but have since reverted back to their old ways!

🌻 Shoutout to headmates who have to keep their old habits for the benefit of their system, whatever that entails for them!

🪻 Shoutout to headmates whose old habits are tied to old memories or relationships which they feel like they have to maintain in order to keep that connection alive!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who are trying to learn self-acceptance and self-kindness now, as they are, even if they haven’t made the changes that the rest of their system has committed to!

Having or maintaining old habits, even if they are maladaptive or harmful, does not make you a bad person or a bad member of your system! You may have your own reasons for holding onto old habits, or it may just be really challenging for you to let go and move forward. Either way, you are still cherished and so special just the way you are! You still deserve to be loved, respected, and uplifted, both in your system and in the plural community. We’re wishing the very best for you, and hope that you’re able to find peace, comfort, and self-acceptance in your future! Thank you so much for reading, and take care!

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi there! maybe you have some advice for this: how do you convince your system you probably have a physical disability?

im being kind of vague because im not 100% sure but its really exhausting to deal with this. everyone in our system but me and a few others are ignoring the clear signs (of a specific thing i dont wanna name) and i dont know what to do to convince them to AT LEAST look into it and try to get help. its tiring and frustrating to be the only one trying to do anything, especially because i only really front when we're having particularly bad/noticable symptoms.

its just, theyre all treating it like its fine? like its just a joke? when its not? i think everyone is just in denial and doesnt want to aknowledge the possibility of also being physically disabled because theyre worried about "taking away from people who are really disabled" as if we arent.

tldr: system is in denial about us having some sort of physical disability for sure, and i dont have the energy to do ALL the research and such on my own. help?

Hi! This sounds like a lot for one headmate to deal with on your own. We’re sorry to hear that you’re having trouble getting your headmates to take your concerns seriously! There’s a few things we can think of which may be able to help you here.

1. Could you call a system meeting and be up front with them about your suspicions? Often systems have symptom holders, and they may genuinely not be aware of the full extent of y’all’s symptoms because they’re just not experiencing them like you are. So perhaps some clear and blunt communication about what you’re going through and what your thoughts are might get through to them! If there are others who are also taking your concerns seriously, maybe you could try to speak to them beforehand to see if they can have your back during this meeting. You can say that you are not being heard, respected, or taken seriously by your headmates, and tell them how their actions are making you feel!

2. Could you get some outside help? Whether or not you have a loved one who knows about your system, could you voice your concerns about this potential disability to a friend, family member, doctor, therapist, or other trusted person? This way, you become less reliant on your headmates who don’t believe you about this disability and are able to receive some support from someone else. They may be able to help you get in touch with a specialist or someone who could eventually diagnose your system, if diagnosis is something you want!

3. Could you keep a symptom log in a visible place where other headmates can see it? When you’re struggling, record it! Keep track of your symptoms and how they are affecting you. Then perhaps leave that log in a place where you know other headmates may encounter and read it. If you are a symptom holder, they very well may not be aware of the full extent that these problems are affecting you. So leaving a record that clearly expresses your distress and discomfort may help them start to understand what you’re going through.

4. Could you remind them that ignoring a disability doesn’t make it go away? In fact, doing so can cause it to worsen over time. We recognize that you may definitely understand this fact! But it may be worth it to remind your headmates of this at every opportunity. Until they take your concerns seriously enough to get y’all to someone outside your system who can help you, keep reminding them that, if your suspicions are correct and they continue to disrespect you by denying your concerns, the whole collective may face dire consequences in the future.

Also going along with this point ^ one person being disabled doesn’t “take anything away” from other disabled people. If you all have this physical disability, then you are already disabled, whether they want to admit it or not! You won’t be taking away resources allocated for “actually disabled” people by at least looking in to the possibility of having this disability. There’s not a set limit of disabled people who are allowed to exist in the world. ALL disabled people deserve resources and support, even those who are questioning, undiagnosed, or have seemingly “minor” disabilities.

We know that a lot of these choices may end up causing a bit of conflict, but for many systems, conflict is unavoidable. It seems to us like your genuine concerns for the safety of your body and your system aren’t being taken seriously… and we really hope that this will change in the future! We’re going to link our post on handling in-system conflict in case it may help you in any way:

We hope this helps! Again, we’re really sorry you’re going through this. We hope that your fellow system members will be able to start taking your concerns seriously very soon!

[multiplicity-positivity]

This is kinda a rant, but one of our fictives just wants to get some confusing emotions off their chest, hope you guys are okay with that :]. - Warden (Host)

Okay okay okay why is it that I hate the idea of interaction with my source but also I feel a weird nistolga whenever I see it?

I'm technically from a like. series of mcyt series. it's complicated. And a new one just came out! Which is great! but we dropped following it after the 5th because I didn't feel good watching it. The reason I said 'technically' up there is because I am very very canon divergent. Like, both canon AND fanon are wrong, yet I can't be separated from my source. Like sure two(?) of the other me's (there is at least 4 of us. send help /lh) have separated themselves, but I can't. The idea of being similar to canon makes me feel so. wrong. It's the uncanny valley or some shit. It's me but not me at the same time. Yet the idea of saying that isn't my source is terrifiing, because I had so many people I cared about that if I don't talk about my memories or make 'headcanon' posts, nobody will ever know what they meant to me.

It's really frustrating. It feels like I'm mourning something and yet that thing is alive and haunting me. I don't want to call myself a fictive from that series, because people have expectations. They'll want someone I'm not.

It once was rlly comforting that I was so different, because it meant that in at least one world, our repeated deaths didn't matter as much. it was comforting that my kids hadn't gotten dragged into the mess me an' Gri couldn't fix ourselves. It was comforting knowing that the misfits I called my family didn't exist, cause then they weren't hurt as much as they were. it was nice to know that the person to burn me alive didn't have a malicious bone in his body. It was nice to know that the person who killed my husband and daughter would never do that in this universe.

At the same time, hearing people praise the ones who hurt me, the demon hybrid who betrayed my king and killed me, the vexling who hurt me in some many lives, the admin who left his brother and my servermates to die (more then once :/), the Gods who couldn't leave us alone, the people who let my son and his friend kill themselves to escape...

in this universe, they're 'good' people. In my universe they left scars (both metaphorically and literally). I can't express my dislike, cause they're 'such good' people.

Even the words out of 'my' mouth are wrong. I don't know what to do. - Etho @galaxycampfirecollective (also I'm aware Warden is requesting somethin' from the blog, because they made me pause so they could write it :/ )

🫂

Hi, Etho - we’re really sorry to hear that you’re struggling with this right now. Our own system has fictives (and one who uses the term fuzztive) who also have very complicated relationships with their source, one being incredibly canon divergent. We hope that you can take the time to properly grieve or process in ways that feel right for you, and maybe find unique ways to source separate in order to help you feel a bit less distressed. There’s no one right way to source separate or view your source, and we really hope that you will be able to find peace and happiness one day in the future! Best wishes to you - we hope that things get easier for you soon!

[multiplicity-positivity]

Could we request some positivity for fictives (esp very canon divergent ones) who have a... complicated relationship with their source? maybe some stuff about not being able to separate themselves for whatever reason, but still feeling an intense dislike with how they're portrayed in canon/fanon?

One of our fictives has a lot of conflicting emotions about their source, mostly because of how canon divergent they are, and since they've done so much for me, I wanna do something for them! - Warden (host) @galaxycampfirecollective

Hi! We definitely can. This post is in the queue now and will be up tomorrow night at 8:00 PM EST! We hope it can bring some joy into the life of the fictive in your system!

[multiplicity-positivity]

Can I have some positivity for a headmate who, for lack of a better explanation, holds past habits, and has anger issues and mood swings?

Thank you 💙

Hi! You sure can! This post is in the queue and will be up tonight at 8:00 PM EST!

[multiplicity-positivity]

hiya. I don't know why but a couple days ago suddenly there's been a guy (TV show character) living in my head and sometimes I like?? morph into him? sorta? and it's been weird. I don't think I'm a system

Hey, if you don’t think you’re a system, we’re wondering if this experience could be considered fictionkin at all? And like, when you morph into this character you’re experiencing a kin shift? It may be something worth looking into.

We have one fictionkin member in our system, and he also experiences these shifts occasionally where he’s more in tune with the character he kins. It’s totally possible to be fictionkin without being plural at all.

Another term we’ve heard about is fictionflicker? Some other fictionfolk may be able to answer this better than we could, but we think fictionflicker describes someone who takes on a temporary fictional identity, although it may be recurring.

Of course, if things change, you very well may end up calling yourself a system, and that’s totally fine. We hope you can figure out some labels that work well for you and help you describe and define your experiences.

If any fictionfolk would like to weigh in here or offer some thoughts, that would be awesome. Good luck with figuring out this aspect of yourself, anon.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Not a vent or request but! im very happy ive made a headmate (created system) since theyve given me alot of comfort also they help alot with my anxiety :D we've been enjoying being a system alot even though dp/dr does effect our system a bit since was preexisting before our system was created

Fantastic news 🎉🎊 we hope y’all can have long and prosperous lives together, and that with time you both can learn how to manage your DP/DR in healthy ways that work for y’all. Congratulations on your new headmate, we hope y’all can grow together in strength, joy, and camaraderie 👍

[multiplicity-positivity]

Any advice on how to be less controlling as host?

Hey, I’m the host of our system, and I’d like to think that I’ve made a lot of progress in not being as controlling over my fellow alters. For me, the things that caused that shift were:

Therapy and outside support. Our therapist has had a huge positive influence on our system. He really encouraged me to start viewing my alters as people with wants, needs, and desires of their own, rather than just aspects of my own identity for me to dictate and control how I wished. I really learned to start viewing my alters as both parts and people, and learned that I was no more important than the rest of my system due to his guidance and advice. Our partner system also was really helpful with this, as she took a keen interest in getting to know my parts and asking how they felt whenever I made a big decision. So having that outside support was really helpful for me.

Noticing when I was being controlling. Our system functioned for a very long time with me lashing out at my parts to keep us masking and safe. This may have been necessary when we are a child in physical danger, but as an adult in a safe place, it became a maladaptive coping method. So the first step in changing that was just trying to notice when I was being controlling or when other alters got scared around me. I asked my parts to be honest with me when they felt like I was unfairly influencing their decisions. I didn’t try to consciously change my behaviors right away… I just spent time keeping track of when I was causing harm.

Asking myself “how would I feel if I was being treated the way I treat my alters?” How would it feel to not be able to play the games I wanted, pursue my passions, dress how I wished, engage with other people on my own terms? How would it feel if someone was micromanaging me and forcing their own say into many aspects of my life? How would I feel if, when I tried to do what I wanted anyway, I was belittled and shouted at? Not good. Not good at all. This was a huge eye-opening moment for me, and I was able to start making small changes after I realized how my controlling nature has been affecting my alters.

Talking to my alters. I tried to get to know them for who they are, not who I wanted them to be. I tried to have an open mind, and to the credit of many of my parts, they were patient and understanding. They told me about their roles, their identities, their ideas about the world, their goals and wants. They reminded me that we each had a purpose in our system, myself included. We had lots of conversations just trying to start over and get to know each other as individuals. Eventually I apologized to every part I could access individually for my past behaviors. I still wasn’t perfect and I definitely slipped up sometimes, but I was making real progress.

Attending in-system meetings. As soon as we started having them, I did my best to remain focused and present. It showed me a whole new side to my system I had never really considered. During our meetings I got to really understand the complexities and unique differences between us. It made it easier to compromise. It made it easier to humanize my alters, who I had spent many years treating like trash. It made it easier for me to step back and listen to them (I tried to make a concerted effort to not speak, only listen, during meetings at first).

For me, coming to terms with my trauma history was also important. In the months and first year after our syscovery, I was adamant that we had no significant trauma history to speak of. Being in denial of my trauma made it easier for me to deny the validity of my alters. It was a really difficult road, and even now I’m not aware of the full scope of the trauma we endured as a child. But I know and accept that we suffered, even if I don’t have access to those memories. And accepting my system’s trauma, accepting my status as a survivor, and understanding how trauma has impacted the whole collective… that also helped me step back and let my alters live their lives in the ways they want. We formed to protect each other. We are a team, and it’s important for us to care about each other. It’s not their fault they exist. It’s not my fault either. But they’re here, they do exist, and they deserve to heal and live their lives on their own terms just as much as me.

Damn this got long. I’m sorry. There’s just a lot that went into me being able to change my attitude and behaviors towards my parts. At this point I can say with pride that I’m just one of the guys, and it took a lot of effort and hard work to reach this point. Idk if everything that worked for me will be applicable for you, but I hope something could be useful. Sorry if you weren’t able to get through this whole post due to the density. But there was a lot of stuff I felt I needed to say on this topic.

[multiplicity-positivity]

hiiiii so we need some advice if you're& ok answering :)

basically, we figured out a set of roles that really work for us!

the problem is, there isnt much space for most of the other headmates. it only needs like 4 people, and there are 16+ headmates 3: to top it off, we're mono conscious and dont have an inner world so its really difficult to work them in.

we really want them to be included and feel like they're free to have their own lives but it's really hard! we take up so much fronting time without really thinking about it, and god forbid we have a headache.

any tips on how to make everyone feel included when life & our own issues get in the way? many thanks!

p.s. we know the solution is probably meditation & putting extra effort into supporting them, it's just hard to deal with all of them together without neglecting any

Hey, we think you’re spot on in your thoughts that putting in extra effort to support them would be a good solution. But we get that it can be so hard to provide individualized attention and support when you have a huge group of headmates. We’d definitely encourage y’all to at least try… you have your whole lives ahead of you - it’s okay if you take your time and go slowly with making sure everyone feels seen and supported in your collective.

Outside of that, though, we’re wondering if you could increase your roles into teams, so that you can divide your headmates into four groups who each fit one of your particular roles. For example, if your roles are caretaker, protector, gatekeeper, and worker, you could have four distinct teams where each team member shares that role. Then, you could either break down the role into specialized jobs for each member, or they could all just work together to perform the roles. They can provide breaks for each other and just generally have each other’s backs. If your headmate count isn’t divisible by 4 (say you have 18 headmates) you could have two teams of 4 and two teams of 5. This way, they’re still pretty spread out.

Other than that, who knows how your system may develop in the future? Y’all may eventually encounter another role or role set that you can incorporate into your system.

And of course, it’s possible for headmates to be included and treated as valuable system members without any roles at all. Even without roles, they can provide input, share their ideas, offer advice, and express their opinions. And by listening to them and taking their words to heart, you can support them and show them you care about them and want to include them, even if they don’t have a designated role. Not every headmate in every system has to have a role, and that’s okay.

Edit: oops, I hit post when I meant to hit save draft. But this is pretty much the gist of it. I hope something we said here works for y’all. Good luck with figuring this out!

[multiplicity-positivity]

not a request, hope that's ok! just claiming the 🌲 emoji before anyone else does lol. you might or might not know who this is, if so hiii, and we hope you guys are doing well even if you don't recognize us! (and no hard feelings because memory issues gang 🤝) :)

-🌲

Totally! We have no clue who you are at all as we can’t really recognize tones or anything like that over anon asks, sorry. But hope y’all are doing great! And we’ll gladly add your sign off to our list 👍

[multiplicity-positivity]

Thought you would find it interesting to know that we went under anesthesia for the first time today and it had some interesting affects on system members.

We got a twilight anesthesia for wisdom teeth surgery (which went incredibly smoothly btw we're just sore now). But after coming out we were very switchy and blended. One of the biggest things though is that one of our headmates is mute- completely mute, unable to speak unless someone is fronting with them and even then it's very slow hoarse speaking. But they were able to speak just fine when coming out of anesthesia. They just said it felt wrong and was uncomfortable, but it didn't hurt like it normally did.

Just thought that was neat. Wanted to share it. For context we are mixed origins & diagnosed with DID.

Oh this is definitely interesting, thanks for sharing. It’s cool how system members sometimes think, act, and behave differently in different circumstances that we don’t usually face regularly. Has anyone else had any interesting or surprising experiences with their system while under the effects of anesthesia?

Anyway, hope your post-wisdom-teeth recovery is going well!

[multiplicity-positivity]

Heyy y'all! Our partner (not in-system!) just found out that they are a median and we, as a system ourselves, cannot find much information about the term to help them recognize their traits and figure themselves out better apart from the definition on pluralityresource[dot]org, so we're hoping that y'all might have some better insight on it or other websites about it. Thank y'all in advance!

hey, so median systems simply are systems who exist somewhere between singlet and fully multiple. these folks are still plural and they’re just as much of a system as non-median systems. being median can cover a huge range of experiences, as anyone who feels like they’re somewhat in between being a singlet and multiple may use this label. plural singlets may count as median systems, same with proxy systems, specutien systems, or monoconscious systems.

as far as resources, pluralpedia is a decent place to start for labels/definitions:

and here is an article from the late 90’s by the vickis, the system who first described median experience. note that median and midcontinuum are synonyms and can be used interchangeably:

the vickis first described and intended midcontinuum to describe dissociative experiences, but we feel like this label has evolved to encapsulate all sorts of plural experiences, dissociative or not, which fall into that in-between space. still, it’s a great read and they include a ton of compiled experiences of other midcontinuum/median systems.

here on tumblr, the “#median system” tag is full of folks discussing their experiences as median and what median plurality means to them. so we definitely recommend you and your partner taking a peek at that tag for some more experiences from those who actually are median.

again, there is a huge range of experiences which may fall under median. at the end of the day, if they feel that median/midcontinuum as a label best describes them, they’re more than welcome to use it. if they find out later that they’re not actually median, no harm done. it’s okay to question, experiment, and try out new labels while they find what fits right for them. there is no one set of traits that perfectly define all median systems, except for being in that “in-between” of singlet and fully separated multiple. so it’ll ultimately be up to them to decide whether or not median is the right label to use.

best of luck to you and to them with learning more about their potential plurality and finding a label that works best for their experiences :)

[multiplicity-positivity]

hello, I have a weird question maybe? were a traumagenic system and we’ve spent the last couple years growing and healing and all that good stuff, but we keep getting this feeling. We all really value our individuality, but at times we feel like we need to give all that up and live as a singular person, and it’s pretty upsetting. So I’m wondering like… what do we do with that feeling?

hey, we can view this issue from two different angles, so we’ll talk a bit about both of them.

if you feel like you need to fuse or live as one person because that is what’s expected of traumagenic systems in clinical, societal, or plural spaces:

honestly, you do you. functional multiplicity is a valid recovery goal and it’s one that most systems online are actively pursuing. you don’t have to fuse if you don’t want to or feel like it’s not right for your system. it is entirely possible to live happily and safely as a system. your trauma may be what caused your system to form, but that doesn’t mean that once you’ve healed from your trauma, you can’t be plural anymore. lots of systems out there have worked to heal from their trauma while maintaining their multiplicity.

if you feel like you need to fuse or live as one person because that’s a genuine recovery goal that feels necessary for your health and well-being:

we get it. there are some parts in our own system who feel like fusion is necessary for us to fully recover. it can be really hard coming to terms with a massive change like that. plurality is all we know, really. we can’t even begin to conceptualize what singlet life might look like. but just because it’s scary or we have grown comfortable living our lives as multiple doesn’t mean we will never be able to achieve final fusion in the future. if you feel like fusion is what y’all need in order to live your best lives… it’s okay to be upset by it. that doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to achieve it in your futures, though.

in the end, regardless of why y’all feel like you need to live as a single person, remember that you are not obligated to do anything that you don’t want or aren’t ready to do. it’s okay to take your time and relish your plurality, even if you feel that final fusion is necessary for your recovery. and if you feel like you need to fuse because it’s what others expect of you… fuck that. you don’t have to organize your system and orient your recovery around the expectations of others.

live your lives in ways that are empowering and affirming for your system. and if that means eventual fusion, great! if it means pursuing functional multiplicity, that’s great, too! if it means pursuing some recovery goal that’s unique to y’all and doesn’t involve either of those options, that is also great. what’s great is the fact that y’all have done the work, that you’re healing and growing and learning what’s best for your own system.

we’re wishing y’all the very best of luck with whatever your future holds :)

[multiplicity-positivity]

hello, I have a weird question maybe? were a traumagenic system and we’ve spent the last couple years growing and healing and all that good stuff, but we keep getting this feeling. We all really value our individuality, but at times we feel like we need to give all that up and live as a singular person, and it’s pretty upsetting. So I’m wondering like… what do we do with that feeling?

hey, we can view this issue from two different angles, so we’ll talk a bit about both of them.

if you feel like you need to fuse or live as one person because that is what’s expected of traumagenic systems in clinical, societal, or plural spaces:

honestly, you do you. functional multiplicity is a valid recovery goal and it’s one that most systems online are actively pursuing. you don’t have to fuse if you don’t want to or feel like it’s not right for your system. it is entirely possible to live happily and safely as a system. your trauma may be what caused your system to form, but that doesn’t mean that once you’ve healed from your trauma, you can’t be plural anymore. lots of systems out there have worked to heal from their trauma while maintaining their multiplicity.

if you feel like you need to fuse or live as one person because that’s a genuine recovery goal that feels necessary for your health and well-being:

we get it. there are some parts in our own system who feel like fusion is necessary for us to fully recover. it can be really hard coming to terms with a massive change like that. plurality is all we know, really. we can’t even begin to conceptualize what singlet life might look like. but just because it’s scary or we have grown comfortable living our lives as multiple doesn’t mean we will never be able to achieve final fusion in the future. if you feel like fusion is what y’all need in order to live your best lives… it’s okay to be upset by it. that doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to achieve it in your futures, though.

in the end, regardless of why y’all feel like you need to live as a single person, remember that you are not obligated to do anything that you don’t want or aren’t ready to do. it’s okay to take your time and relish your plurality, even if you feel that final fusion is necessary for your recovery. and if you feel like you need to fuse because it’s what others expect of you… fuck that. you don’t have to organize your system and orient your recovery around the expectations of others.

live your lives in ways that are empowering and affirming for your system. and if that means eventual fusion, great! if it means pursuing functional multiplicity, that’s great, too! if it means pursuing some recovery goal that’s unique to y’all and doesn’t involve either of those options, that is also great. what’s great is the fact that y’all have done the work, that you’re healing and growing and learning what’s best for your own system.

we’re wishing y’all the very best of luck with whatever your future holds :)

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for systems who use AAC!

Augmentative and alternative communication is often a necessary way for many neurodivergent or disabled folks to interact with others and share their ideas with the world. AAC is absolutely a valid form of communication, and those who use it should be welcomed and encouraged in our spaces. This post goes out to all the systems and headmates out there who are AAC users!

☎️ Shoutout to nonverbal/nonspeaking systems whose whole collective has been using AAC for their whole lives!

📝 Shoutout to systems who use AAC for some reason other than autism!

🗣️ Shoutout to systems with some members who are more reliant on AAC than others!

💻 Shoutout to systems who sometimes feel frustrated or limited by the AAC they use to communicate!

☎️ Shoutout to systems who take a long time to communicate with AAC and who need others around them to be patient while they put together their thoughts!

📝 Shoutout to systems who use unorthodox or uncommon methods of AAC!

🗣️ Shoutout to systems who cannot afford specialized AAC tools, and have to make do with free apps, homemade communication cards, or other cheap AAC tools!

💻 Shoutout to AAC using systems who are tired of being ignored, talked over, and infantilized in their spaces!

☎️ Shoutout to systems who educate others on AAC and advocate for the rights of other AAC users!

📝 Shoutout to systems who use AAC after regression, an accident, a degenerative disease, or some other condition that has made regular communication difficult or impossible for them!

🗣️ Shoutout to AAC users who swear, who discuss adult themes, or who do not want their methods of communication to be censored or sanitized by others or by their communication tools themselves!

💻 Shoutout to systems who love their AAC and love the freedom of communication that their AAC provides!

To all systems who are AAC users, we love you and want to support you however we can! Regardless of why your system uses AAC, you belong in the plural community just the way you are. Your voice matters, and you deserve to be heard, acknowledged, and uplifted in our spaces. The plural community is made better and stronger by your presence, and it simply would not be the same without you here!

We hope that you can gain access to communication tools that help you feel empowered and comfortable sharing your thoughts. We hope you can surround yourselves with people who are patient, kind, and accepting of your AAC. We hope that your AAC grants your whole system the freedom to express yourselves in the ways that feel right for you! We care about you, and we are rooting for you in all that you do. Thank you so much for reading, and have a lovely day!