#indecisiveness

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello ! I have a couple issues I wish to improve and want your advice:

Firstly I have this out of sync behaviour. Especially with my mom where I become immature like a teenage brat and say things which I dont necessarily feel are aligned with how I truely feel, like "that person did me wrong blabla they are this and that " although I dont feel the grudges . Its almost as if I am possesed. Could it be that its because I didnt get enough mirroring for her growing up and we were not talking when I was in my preteen? Is this a Fe issue?

Another issue I have is my indecessiveness in life, no matter how brave I try to be I get stuck in dilemmas and they suck my soul out. There would have been less consequences in choosing than all the rabit holes I have to go down to. I feel like all my ambitions have come to dust with my adhd and other issues that are a blockage and I am just feeling lost and say and do stupid things so I can ignore my failures.

Ps. Could you please tag this INFJblackpearl so I can come back and see your answer.Thank you :)

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(1) I have already written in detail about the complexities of parent-child relationships, so I suggest you search through the site index and relevant tags for previous articles.

(2) There are many possible factors that can contribute to indecisiveness. You must have some understanding of what's causing a problem before you can find the right solution, and it doesn't sound like you have much insight into it, so deeper reflection is required. This means all I can do is merely speculate about what the underlying factors might be based on what is generally common for the personality type.

For INFJs, one common factor is an irrational fear of failure that often goes along with unhealthy perfectionism. This might manifest as having unrealistic expectations (Ni) and/or holding oneself to unreasonable standards that stem from social pressures (Fe). Thus, the remedy would be to nurture a more realistic and/or a more compassionate and forgiving mindset.

Another common factor is being out of touch with one's own needs, preferences, and values. It's hard to make firm decisions when you don't know what you need, don't know what you want, don't know what you like, and/or don't know what you value most. Denigration or denial of oneself is a common sign of unhealthy Fe. The remedy would be to improve your self-esteem and self-worth and take steps to know and honor yourself better.

Another common factor is lack of critical thinking skills. Good critical thinking includes being able to explore, analyze, and evaluate your options in a more thorough, systematic, and objective manner. Feeling inundated with or being too easily swayed by too much information and not knowing how to draw sound conclusions is a symptom of having poorly developed judging functions. There are lots of online and book resources for improving critical thinking.

[monsteracademy]

sona

[itsbarbiebiiittchhhhh]

why is making a christmas list so impossible for me, I don’t want anything but I want something

[sag-dab-sar-follows]

Oh gods the choice between watching an may day episode or a violin-youtube video with dinner is a problem.... Decision-Anxiety™

(I play no instruments and have no desire to play an instrument i dont know why im binging violin-tube I just kind of accept my brain chose it for me)

[generalwildcat]

Trying to figure out if trying to write HSM again even in small quantities is something i should seriously do.

As far as the OGs go, i've primarily focused on writing Chaylor.

The current NextGen Wildcats i'd imagine writing come with absolutely no plot in mind. Just names, relations, and personality traits. In the case of both OG and NextGen, i wouldn't turn down any writing prompts.

I'm not including HSMTMTS in the poll primarily because that would be completely new territory for me and i don't feel confident doing any of the characters justice.

So in the spirit of indecisiveness, opinions, and most of all, writer's block:

[fracturedporcelaindoll]

Dear diary,

I cracked my phone screen it's pretty bad like spiderweb fracture overlay~

Its not the first time something like this has happened cause I am a klutz. But the timing is awful not to mention I checked and service provider no longer carries my particular phone model. I don't want to spend alot on a phone and I have considered totally going rogue and just not having one...~

But it does serve usefulness too, apps with games, reading books online and music etc.~

I'd like an apple phone because they are the ideal of aesthetic cuteness but wayyyy too expensive~

I could go with Samsung brand or maybe Google's phone model?~

The last time my screen was this damaged I picked apart the cracks of glass flecks that were loose and cut myself, somewhat unintentionally but also a little not~

The little bit of blood from scratches wasn't an issue but getting it embedded into skin accidentally and having to remove it like one would a splinter now thats painful. Not a process I want to repeat which means I may or should replace phone sometime this month~

Yay more indecisiveness to deal with!~

I feel fat, maybe am not chubby but I just don't feel skinny/thin or pretty. I want to lose some weight but stupid cravings for carbs and sweets are especially difficult lately~

The hot temperatures keep zapping my energy and slowly sucking the life or motivation to workout away semi effectively leaving the easy prey of napping to occur~

I realized something, it's almost that time of the month for me and while I do have certain longings that want in general in particular during that time of month certain ones get a boosted enhancement of desires for~

Like being taken care of, is it too much to daydream of wanting to wake up to someone picking out outfit to wear, helping style hair, keep me motivated on track with workout, keeping time of schedule while helping me find ways to relax by having me color or draw pictures, basically want to be little sometimes but I am so self conscious, shy and heightened senses of being responsible around others that am not sure could just let go and have fun~

I want to buy a stuffie/plushie or several to have to hug when feeling extra emotional and I've recently considered hand puppets because they look cute and could avoid talking using them to gesture for things but the reality is I doubt I'll ever get them because it's silly for me to want that and they could go to actually children that would benefit from them, ophranges, hospitals for ill patients, secret Santa programs etc.~

[somerandomg33k]

I hate my indecisiveness sometimes. Do I work long hours today? Do I leave to stream? Do I flip a coin or roll a dice to decide?

But I did decide to leave work early, make up those hours later in the week. And I will stream tonight. To honor my mother by Rimming the Skies. 😁

[seelestia]

should i. should i pull for lyney??

[patrickelvinart]

Orange skies - Arthur Lee and Love

4B pencil on paper

Calbalog City 2024

Sometimes, there is a moment when the drawing comes alive..

Like magic. Like life itself. Fragile magic.

Sometimes just one more line and the drawing dies.

[fresh-bed-old-sheets]

Hnnnnnnng what do you mean i have to CHOOSE between two AMAZING things? Why can't i just do everything all at once?

[iamterribleatusernames]

Do any other writers out there not know where to start when they have created full lives for their characters? I make a starting place, write a little, figure out my characters, and then second-guess where I’m supposed to start. Like do I want to give flashbacks for the needed information or do I start nearer to childhood. Do I start right before the one scene I’ve been dreaming about writing, or do I lead up to it? Do I start where they meet as kids, and then skip to where they’re older? Do I make a prologue. As an indecisive person writing is hard because of all the choices I have to make. (Who to traumatize, who to baby, ect.,).

it’s like I’m making a complicated movie for my characters. and I have to choose a good opening shot but the problem is that there are too many options.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: I am an ENFP, 27y old. I have difficulty making decisions, especially related to relationships. Whenever I have to make decisions regarding a relationship/ friendship I tend to seek external validation. I am afraid of making the wrong decision and I always tend to seek someone to affirm my decision, by asking a friend or posting in an online forum etc.

For eg, when I feel the need to cut off a long term friend whose values don't align with mine and tends to cause me distress, or a stranger who wants to have daily contact with me, while I am uncomfortable regarding it. Or when I am not sure whether I want to continue to pursue the man I like.

How do I learn to stop seeking validation this way? Is this type related in some way?

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It's not a crime to second-guess yourself. In fact, self-doubt is healthy when used appropriately as an antidote to arrogance. It's important to make well-informed judgments, especially when it comes to moral decisions that have the potential to cause hurt/harm. You have to look at the issue from every side and understand it objectively. You have to choose the best possible path that minimizes pain and suffering. Is it not good to proceed thoughtfully and wisely?

While deliberation is good, at some point, you have to make a choice and commit to it. Many people are indecisive because they have poor critical reasoning skills. Maybe it's something you need to learn. If you don't have a good system/process for analyzing information and drawing sound conclusions, it's easy to get lost thinking in circles.

If this issue is related to type, it's most likely due to Fi being too weak to help and support Ne. Experiencing troubles with respect to: accepting yourself, believing in yourself, advocating for your own needs and wants, standing up for what is right, standing strong in the face of opposition, etc, indicate a lack of confidence in your own judgment and ought to be remedied through Fi development. Consult the Type Dev Guide.

[amerasdreams]

extremely sensitive empathic introverts are useless really. Maybe they want to help a lot but that doesn't matter bc their sensitivity and lack of flexibility (falling apart easily at small things) makes it so they have almost 0 capacity to make a positive difference and may even make things worse by incompetence which no one needs.

[casandraspoems]

Uncertain (Poem)

I speak in uncertainties

Never wanting to offend, mislead, or be wrong

If my truth is not The Truth, is it a lie?

So a well placed “I think” “maybe” “I could be wrong”

Is vital to everyday speech

Questions are best answered with an inflection

Up a pitch and slightly drawn out

I may know an answered but I can’t be sure it’s The Answer

I live uncertainly

Even actions can be incorrect

So hesitancy is used amply

Repetition does not eradicate mistakes

It’s best to check tasks 3 times and once more just in case

[yisum]

從「慢性自我懷疑」和「冒名頂替綜合症」到「優柔寡斷和自卑」——

from chronic self-doubt and imposter syndrome to indecisiveness and low self-esteem.

您不信任自己的 7 個心理原因(1)

7 Psychological Reasons You Don’t Trust Yourself

使您難以相信自己的不是過去的事件，而是您現在的習慣。

It’s not events from your past that make it hard to trust yourself — it’s your habits in the present.

1. 懷念過去——热衷反省过去

Dwelling on the past——bad habit of ruminating on the past

它沒有生產力。不健康的反芻不斷進行，實際上並沒有帶來任何好處。

It’s not productive.Unhealthy rumination keeps going and going without actually resulting in any benefit.

這是強迫性的。不同于健康的反思（深思熟慮和有意而为的）

It’s compulsive.different than healthy reflection(deliberate and intentional)

長期反思過去的錯誤和失敗也會讓你的大腦相信你不值得信任。

(待續）

#好奇心 #curiosity #wanting #courage #emotional

#perfectionism #完美主义 #完美主義 #selfdoubt #rumination

#impostersyndrome #indecisiveness #lowselfesteem

#selfesteem #ego #psychology #compassion

#perfection #perfectionismrecovery #rumination #selfesteembuilding

#樹洞 #Consulta #自我覺察 #positivethinking #stress #quotestoliveby #quotesoftheday #happyness #心理學 #loveyourself #世界和我爱着你 #心理学

[fracturedporcelaindoll]

Dear diary,

I'll overthinking a variety of stuff, sometimes it's more philosophical like purpose in life, humanity on a whole, concepts of world peace, death etc.

Other times it's more trivial and materialistic, like what outfit to wear. Regardless, it's like a washing machine on spin cycle cause just keep thinking over it without it getting a conclusive answer and stopping.

So yes random person, I could stop wasting my time and energy cause there are more important things in life, like threat of nuclear war/world wars, sun going supernova, solving global economic crisis, finding cures for incurable diseases etc.,~

But if it were that simple, I'd have done it already don't you get it? The overthinking aspect means I can't just shut my brain off like a switch, I wish at times I could be simple minded enough not to think of life or ponder over trival choices with all the potential possibilities arising from a choice but that isn't me ~

So you may think I am foolish, and what causes me stress from indecisiveness but it is what it is ~