#symptom holder

[the-silent-fellowship]

Symptom Holder Flags

[PT: Symptom Holder Flags]

Flags seen are: Paranoia Holder , Delusions Holder , and Hallucinations Holder

Flags and Symbols Used: Paranoia , Delusions , Hallucinations

[Paranoia ID: none yet]

[Delusion ID: none yet]

[Hallucinations ID: none yet]

[Tagging] @pluralterms , @system-term-archive , @pluralitywords , and @radiomogai

[interstellarsystem]

Disorder Differences in Systemmates

Systemmates share the same brain, which often leads to the assumption that they're all affected the same by the brain itself. Its wiring, its abilities, and its disabilities. But symptom holders or those with intra-disorders are fairly common--at least in circles we run in--and they're not often talked about for fear of fakeclaiming or appearing ableist. We have headmates who are affected in all sorts of different ways by our disabilities. Some find things harder than others, while others actually find some tasks or symptoms easier to manage. It absolutely varies from headmate to headmate, which makes certain headmates better suited for fronting during certain times than others.

Merlin is more affected by our psychosis, particularly hallucinations, and xe tends to be more susceptible to paranoia. Mystery is a psychosis holder too, and has more positive symptoms like hallucinations than the rest of us, but is less affected negatively by it. It often hallucinates and falls into delusional thinking, but it's not really too bothered by it. So Mystery is a good choice for someone to front when we're having a psychotic episode. Sometimes, having Merlin cofront with Mystery makes it easier for Merlin to not be so susceptible to xyr symptoms.

I (Martin) have more obvious anxiety than the rest of us, and struggle much more in social situations. I'm much better at hyperfocusing on tasks, though. So I'm better suited for staying home and working on whatever the current project we have at the time, or keeping our to-do lists in check. Vince on the other hand is calm in most social situations that are more professional--so he's good for business meetings and such. In more casual conversation though, Vena and Merlin are much better at it and better suited to non-professional social groups.

Vince is an intra-NPD holder and also holds stronger symptoms of our BPD. He struggles immensely with percieved rejection, much more than the rest of us. But he also almost completely lacks empathy, which makes it much easier for him to be calm and logical in stressful situations. He finds it easier to help friends and those he cares about during stressful times because he's not weighed down by feeling their emotions--whereas the rest of us might break down from stress.

We talk a bit about mental disability differences in headmates more than those who differ physically. Somehow it seems more controvertial to mention that we have headmates that differ with physical symptoms while even in safe system spaces. It seems like most people (us somewhat included) mainly think of symptom holders as a mental disorder thing--a line of thinking we're trying to dispel. Headmates can have different disabilities and symptoms of all kinds, and it's not ableist or "harmful" to know that and speak about it. Headmates with different conditions to the body need to be recognised more.

Mike needed a cane in his memories and he absolutely needs our cane when he fronts more than the rest of us. He feels more at home and like himself having a cane by his side here, though, so it's good we already had one. I (Martin) need it more too--my joints are just more prone to pain. But our cane folds up nicely into our bag, so if we switch out in public, it's always with us just in case. Even if it's silly, we feel safer having a cane too--I mean, it's a metal pole. We're out as trans and clearly not your Regular Society Member, so it provides some feeling of safety to have.

Jayfeather was blind before, and since coming here he sure can see now, but he's much more light sensitive than the rest of us. The feeling of being able to see was nice at first, even if it was foreign, but sometimes he feels it's not worth the hassle. He needs to wear sunglasses when fronting because his eyes just end up hurting from even small amounts of light. Crowley is the same, except he wasn't blind in his memories--he just got used to always wearing sunglasses in his life to hide how his eyes looked, and needs them here now. They're both more prone to migraines due to this.

Merlin is more shaky on his feet than others who front often. His legs are digitigrade and in headspace he has his wings and tail to balance him there--but in the body, he doesn't have any of that. His legs are the wrong shape and he has no counterweight to his posture. Even with our cane, he's more prone to tripping than most.

Mystery was a godlike being that didn't need to eat human food, or any physical food at all. It often forgets that eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom are things the body needs to do, because it doesn't often feel the need to do them. That can be good if we're running low on food, or if we can't eat for a while such as before a medical procedure though, so it's useful in its own way. Mystery is also not used to using its hands for intricate things like tying shoelaces, as it's hands before we're longer, bigger, and mainly nonphysical. It didn't need to be intricate, so it's hard for it to do things others in here can.

There's so many more examples in our system. The thing is, there can be positives and negatives to any disorder, really--and headmates are no different with that. We don't necessarily assign headmates "roles" or "jobs" based on their symptoms or lack thereof, but for us to function better as a collective, people tend to gravitate toward doing certain things they know others can't. It's important for us to know how we differ with our disabilities, and work around them together as best we can.

Systemmates with different symptoms aren't uncommon, and they're not mocking disabled people, or lying for some benefit. I'd argue that for some systems with symptom holders or intra-disorder holders, it's increcibly important to know about how you differ and how to work together to be functional--whatever functional means for you.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for BPD symptom holders!

Quite often, systems may find they have one member who holds onto particular symptoms of the disorders which affect the whole collective. Symptom holders perform a vital role for their system and help keep everyone functioning, even if it makes their own lives as individuals difficult. This post goes out to all the headmates who hold symptoms of their system’s borderline personality disorder!

☀️ Shoutout to headmates who struggle with an intense fear of abandonment by others in their lives!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who deal with black and white thinking, or can’t see nuance or the multifaceted nature of some people and situations!

🌙 Shoutout to headmates who are quite reliant on their favorite person or FP, whether inside or outside their collective!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who are unable to maintain positive connections or relationships!

☀️ Shoutout to headmates who struggle with emotional regulation or deal with very intense emotions!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who formed specifically due to their system’s BPD, or who split as a result of the trauma that caused their system to develop BPD!

🌙 Shoutout to headmates who don’t ever feel anything, who dissociate often or usually feel dull, apathetic, empty, or listless!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who are impulsive or who regularly make rash decisions!

☀️ Shoutout to headmates who deal with a lot of paranoia regarding their headmates or the people in their lives!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who struggle to understand or conceptualize their self-image and often wonder if they even exist at all!

🌙 Shoutout to headmates whose BPD informs who they are and every aspect of their lives!

🌈 Shoutout to headmates who are tired of their disorder being demonized by others, or treated like they are unlovable or evil simply for having BPD!

☀️ Shoutout to headmates who are learning to work with and embrace who they are as a BPD holder in their system!

Living with borderline personality disorder can be incredibly isolating, frustrating, and painful. For symptom holders who have the role of managing BPD symptoms, we want to remind you that you are loved just the way you are! You are valued, and you are worthy of kindness, happiness, and respect in your lives. We know that trying to manage BPD, sometimes on behalf of your whole system, cannot be easy. We truly hope that you will be able to find support and resources in your future to better help you cope with this condition!

If you are a BPD symptom holder reading this, please know that we care about you and are wishing the very best for you in your future. We have hope that things will get better for you someday! In the meantime, know that you are a treasured, important member of both your system and the plural community alike. We are rooting for you and your system in all that you do! Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day!

[holder-culture-is]

Depression Holder Flag!

Flag made by us

ׂ╰┈➤ For alters that hold symptoms of the body’s depression

Please reblog & credit if used !! :]

[system-role-flags]

🌈BPD Symptom Holder Flag🍭

Flag for alters who hold symptoms of BPD

**ENDOS DNI**

[joypunk-plural]

Shout out to neurogenic systems!

(Pt: Shout out to neurogenic systems!)

Shout out to systems formed from trauma caused by neurodivergency

Shout out to systems formed to deal with symptoms of neurodivergency

Shout out to systems directly formed from neurodivergency, even if their neurodivergency isn't usually associated with plurality

Shout out to headmates with roles related to neurodivergency, like symptom holders

Shout out to systems that form tons of headmates related to their hyperfixation/spins

Shout out to systems who formed headmates in an attempt to understand neurotypical society!l

Shout out to systems formed from identity issues from BPD

Shout out to systems whose plurality is intertwined with delusions or hallucinations

Shoutout to systems formed from the paracosms in MADD/immersive daydreaming

Shout out to systems caused by neurodivergencies not mentioned here, sorry I didn't include ya :/

You're all valid, no matter what caused your system, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

[psychotic-system-culture-is]

Psychotic System Culture is...

A psychosis symptom holder fronting for the first time since being put on anti-psychotics and feeling so so strange...

[kaboom--bitch]

Why the hell did the brain make me hold more chronic fatigue symptoms than the rest of us but also make me hold seemingly more ADHD. I have to keep moving and keep busy, but also I have to stay in bed or I feel like I'm gonna fall over. Fucking pick one come ON.

[sysboxes]

[Text: This alter is a homicidal thoughts holder.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

[ijustwannamakeemojis]

[ID: Nine small pixel hearts of system role flags, in order trauma holder, caretaker, gatekeeper, memory holder, dissociation holder, pseudonaut, symptom holder, architect, and communicator. End ID]

Tumblr makes them bigger than they actually are click to see correct size or check out the rentry in the pinned post

[radiostaticsmile]

On Alters and Personality Disorders

Disclaimer that I am not a researcher and this is based on my understanding of different studies and of my own personal experience being a system with personality disorders and knowing systems with personality disorders

Often I see the question can on alter have a personality disorder that other alters do not. It seems to be hotly debated without a real answer, most people just extrapolate because studies on that specifically are hard to find and combine knowledge of systems and personality disorders but be used to make an inference. I am going to be doing the same thing here, 

However one thing that I have not seen anyone mention that has greatly helped my understanding of this topic is the idea which has begun to exist relatively recently within psychology that personality disorders are really all the same thing at its core, a disorder which occurs in response to trauma, and the specific symptoms and disorder you will be diagnosed with is dependant on which survival methods worked best for the traumatizing situation that the person was in. 

For example in situations where it was dangerous and likely to get the victim hurt by their abuser to care about the abusers feelings they will likely develop a PD with low empathy like NPD or ASPD. For situations where avoiding the abuser was possible and the best method something like AVPD may occur. And those who need to be highly attuned to their abusers emotional state and weather they get hurt or not depends on how the abuser is feeling may develop BPD. This is an over simplification but you get the picture. 

Dissociative disorders are also caused by trauma. And abuse is complicated, so different survival strategies may work at different times, and using a method that works sometimes will actively get you abused more at other times. For singlets this can cause more than one personality disorder with symptoms that mix and overlap. For dissociative systems, this can mean different alters present different symptoms. Alters will often form because the system needs different survival strategies in different situations, and different alters will fill those roles. So it makes sense some alters will have symptoms of a personality disorder that another alter does not have. One alter may fit enough criteria for a diagnoses of a specific personality disorder while others may be missing key aspects of the disorder, so in tis way I do think it is possible. You can say they are just symptom holders and the whole system has it, or you can say just they have it, its really just arguing semantics at that point, since it is fairly clear within the community that many systems have alters who meet diagnostic criteria while other alters in the same system do not.

I do think it is possible for an alter to have a specific personality disorder that is not system wide, because specific personality disorders are not really separate from each other, but rather which symptoms do you present, and different alters present different symptoms. However, I also think that if any alter has a personality disorder, everyone in the system would most likely have a personality disorder of some kind (unless they have a highly specialized role or are a fragment that would prevent this, but the system as a whole would still be personality disordered). This is because the trauma changing the brain that created the personality disorders affects the whole system. It can affect different alters differently, and some specific symptom sets may be contained to only a few alters, but being personality disordered in general would affect everyone, or at least that is what I have come to believe based on my experience and research. 

It also seems like just based on what I have seen that alters will frequently gravitate around a few presentations/specific disorders that show up in several alters, like a system of six may have 5 with BPD, and 3 of those also have NPD (meaning 2 with both), more likely than every alter having an extremely different disorder presentation from each other, and then varying symptoms between alters within those subsets of symptoms. This however is not based on any research and is just personal experience since this topic really hasn't been studied enough.

This is not meant to invalidate or dictact any one else's experience or beliefs around the topic but I haven't seen anyone discuss the theory that personality disorders are a single disorder with highly varied presentation and I wanted to add that idea to the conversation.

[borderline-culture-is]

BPD Symptoms culture is dear god. I'm hoping that it's some disorder and not just "moody teenager hormones". Because if this was all normal, oh my god. No. I don't think it's so normal to be like this.

(kinda nervous to send. Sorry if it's confusing.)

It isn't confusing, we actually understand this a lot.

[disabledsysboxes]

Cotard's boxes - 2

Requested by anon

[userboxvariety]

orange-themed autism userboxes for anon !

[holder-culture-is]

Hypersexual-holder little culture is constantly thinking “Stop babying me, I’m not a kid!” But also “Don’t be weird to me, I’m just a kid.”

-🍧

People need to be normal about littles honestly! Respect their boundaries as you would any other alter! Have a great day, 🍧.

(Btw, if this was meant to be on anon, don’t be afraid to tell us ^^ we’ll take it down and repost it with js the screenshot :3)

[system-role-flags]

🌈Autistic Symptom Holder Flag🍭

Flag for alters who hold symptoms of autism

**ENDO DNI**