#trauma holder

[the-fox-collective]

I feel it should be said how damaging it is to brush off any type of trauma as "not enough."

There's a popular post about how a person who drowned in 6ft of water is just as dead as someome who drowned in 200ft of water. This is true.

But also you can drown in as little as half a cup of water.

And I think this comes from a deep misunderstanding of how DID forms, what counts as "bad enough" trauma to form a system. I myself have had to unwind whether what I've said I've gone through is real, due to how conflated the idea of trauma is in some people's heads.

A child is not as developed as an adult or a teen. What a child views as "too much" for them to cope with or "no support system" to talk to may be completely different to what an adult thinks. The adult may even think that the child is logically incorrect about these things—but that does not change the response the child has.

This is not an excuse to tell people they should go digging for trauma or to tell them unprompted that what they went through is 100% traumatic. I just wanted to make sure anyone who thinks they could have DID / PSTD / OSDD / C-PTSD (or similar) doesn't brush off things that as an adult they think "weren't so bad."

[blessed-bruises]

˚₊‧ ⊰ ⸸ ⊱ ‧₊˚

[mystery-aberration]

System roles do not have to be your entire identity. You do not have to conform to the stereotypes of them, and you do not have to hold your role alone or without help. You do not need to keep them forever, either. They may be what you were placed into the system to help with, and they may be something you are good at--but it does not have to be you forever.

I am a persecutor, and that does not mean I should be treated differently or harmed. Being a persecutor does not mean that everyone should be scared of you by default either.

Protectors should not be expected to be strong and emotionless walls to put in front of everything all the time. They do not need to be tools.

Comforters might need a break to unload their own stress and need comfort in turn. They do not need to give all of themselves to everyone else and never expect help back.

Littles may not be littles forever, and should not be devalued just because they are children. They are just as real and alive as any other system member and should be taken into account.

Trauma/memory holders might need help to cope with the things they hold, and sometimes when the time is right it means sharing that burden. Maybe there is no right time, but they deserve support whether they can share those memories or not.

Gatekeepers may need a break from controlling switches or access to front, and should be allowed one if needed. Gatekeeping can be a lot of work.

Hosts do not need to do everything for the body or system all the time. Sometimes, being the host of a system can be hard, and support and breaks are deserved.

Systems often put a lot of weight on roles, and it can impact the way that those who have them can feel about their role. It is okay to fit into your role, but it is also okay to not fit, or to end up not fitting your role over time. Some headmates can feel like a failure if they do not uphold their role, some can feel like they have no other choice even if they wanted to not perform it. But a role is a description, it is not an essence of who you are and will forever be. This may be non-traditional but we use roles exclusively as self descriptors so that we do not get wrapped up in what we "should be". If the label no longer fits, or if you need help more than you might have in the past, that is okay.

Be kind to yourselves, and be kind to your other headmates.

[boxesforsys]

This x holds relationship trauma userboxes! Click for quality

[holder-culture-is]

trauma holder culture is drumroll.. i have an identity freaking finally !! / pos

— noé/vee of 💌🫀

Omg yippee!!! :DD soso happy for you, noé ^^ identities are so great fr :3

[traumaholdercultureis]

Traumaholder culture is Uh Oh I have just unlocked deeply buried trauma. I thought X Marks the Spot was meant to have treasure :'(

[fleshfictive]

bitches be like "our relationship probably wasn't even that bad" when they literally have an entire alter dedicated to holding all of their memories and thoughts and emotions around said relationship like COME ON

[trauma-holder-culture-is]

little trauma holder culture is wanting really badly to grow up, because maybe growing up would make it stop hurting

Trauma holder culture is...

[mentallyderangedrats]

Ily trauma holders <3

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s to all the syskid trauma holders!

To the little or young headmates who were traumatized or who hold on to trauma memories:

✨ We know you went through so much, and it’s not fair that you were hurt by others around you or people who were supposed to take care of you. It’s okay to be upset about what happened. It’s okay to cry, or to feel sad, lost, angry, lonely, or scared. These feelings are natural and you’re not bad or wrong for feeling them! ✨

🧸 If you can’t talk about what happened to you or share your memories with anyone else, be it a therapist, loved one, or another headmate, that’s okay. You should never ever feel pressured to do things you don’t want to do, and that includes opening up about the memories you hold on to! You’re allowed to take your time, breathe, and process things at your own pace. 🧸

💖 If you do want to talk about your painful memories, we hope you can find a safe space to do so with a person you trust and are comfortable with. You deserve to have agency in your own healing journey, and that means getting to make decisions about when and how to talk about your trauma! 💖

🐶 We hope that you can find comfort and happiness in your lives, even if it’s only sometimes! It’s easy for kids who were hurt a lot or traumatized to feel like they never got the chance to have a childhood. We want to let you know that it’s never too late to enjoy being a kid! We hope your future is filled with toys, plushies, stickers, coloring books, fun games, pillow forts, tasty snacks, and playing pretend! 🐶

🍓 Please remember that you are so loved, cherished, and valued by those around you. And remember that the pain you experienced and have to hold onto is not your fault in any way! We promise, you are not to blame for the way others treated you, even if sometimes it feels that way. 🍓

🌈 We hope you can keep your chin up, distract yourself with something fun if you need to, and find comfort in your loved ones. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (or listen if an older headmate is helping you). Know that we care about you, we’re rooting for you, and we’re wishing you the very best in all that you do! 🌈

[grody-cody-bb]

I hate being told or expected to heal and be better when I haven’t been able to hold space for my anger.

I’m still filled with hurt and rage and stubborn passion and spite, it overflows my bones and veins, it seeps out of my pores and spits from my throat like venom.

I want to kick and punch and scream and fight until my voice goes hoarse and then do it all over again until I’ve known I’ve made a difference because fuck “letting go” when i have to be tied down for eternity.

I don’t want to let go or move on or be better, I want to be allowed to be hurt and angry, I want to use that hurt to make a difference, I want there to be less hurt in the world. Making that happen is the only way I could ever heal.

When people tell me to cope and heal and let go and move on and stuff I know they mean it well and I know that down the line it will make me feel better, but for right now, it feels like just another way to silence me when I have been trying to scream at the top of my lungs for years. I don’t want to heal, I want to be allowed to hurt. My anger is more than justified and I should be able to express that instead of calming down and being the better person all the time.

I hide when I have to but for what it’s worth I am never changing who I am for other people and I will fight for my and others’ right to be that way. Existence is protest or however that saying goes. I will never let go of my anger because it’s what makes me who I am and I know I can use it for good. For Justice. Fuck you for making me a monster but I will use my horns and claws and teeth to fight back because that’s why I have them

[poognthebrainbois]

Love her tho, congrats on breaking/hj

[holder-culture-is]

traumaholder culture is oUgh,, augh,, ack,, -100 damage every ten seconds,,,

.

[traumaholdercultureis]

trauma holder culture is being from a source with NO similarities to your trauma (looking at bradley uppercrust iii.)

[ijustwannamakeemojis]

[ID: Nine small pixel hearts of system role flags, in order trauma holder, caretaker, gatekeeper, memory holder, dissociation holder, pseudonaut, symptom holder, architect, and communicator. End ID]

Tumblr makes them bigger than they actually are click to see correct size or check out the rentry in the pinned post

Creators/Flag creators

@xenic-nd (inactive) Trauma Holder, Caretaker, Memory Holder, Symptom Holder

@the-silent-fellowship Gatekeeper, Dissociation Holder

@m-grouped (Inactive) Architect

@polyextranth (Inactive) Communicator

??? Pseudonaut

[trauma-holder-culture-is]

Trauma holder culture is...

(Plaintext: Trauma holder culture is...)

Welcome to trauma holder culture. The other trauma holder culture blog is anti endo and that was making our trauma holders feel really isolated, so we decided we'd make our own version of the blog!

Trigger tags will be done like #tw topic (eg: #tw abuse). If you need us to add a tag to any post, please send an ask with a link to the post in question.

No hard dni, though as mentioned above, this blog is pro endo

This blog is not a crisis line, we aren't able to provide support if you're in distress.