#or to quote steph

[boxfivetrades]

Tim Morgan and Tim Southgate as Managers

(x)

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[dreamingaboutsakuratrees]

[During a white elephant gifts exchange]

Steph: A metro card? no way!

Tim: From me! Unlimited rides

Jason: Oh, unlimited rides? Is that what your tramp stamp says?

Tim:

Tim: I was gonna get mad, but that was a damn good one

[tiger-grace]

The Dark Knight, Batman, Mr. “I am the night” maintaining his mystery even while revealing his identity in a justice league meeting:

The JL: Bruce Wayne?!

His wayward children, who have scheduled a “Brucie Wayne” funniest moments and scandals compilation to kick on in about 30 seconds on the monitor:

The JL: … bruce wayne

[hangon-silvergirl]

fallout tv series + onion headlines, okey dokey?

[batfamgalore]

Tim: All right, check out this bad boy.

*opens big new computer*

Tim: Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive. Built in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.

Steph: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?

Tim: Games and stuff.

[lustwithoutlore]

Stephanie, clearly upset: I just spent $30 at the grocery store and all I got was eggs, mayonnaise, fruit, and pop.

Tim: Oh so prices have gone down, that’s good.

Stephanie: …. I really hate you sometimes, Tim. Really hate you.

Tim: Isn’t $30 for all that cheap?

Stephanie, calling Jason: I need an immediate extraction I’m about to kill Tim.

Jason: … And you need the extraction, why?

[batfamhastwitter]

Part 11! Happy birthday to my favorite little gremlin!!

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Tim: So anyways, my boyfriend-

Jason: Woah woah, “boyfriend?”

Tim: What’s that supposed to mean? Come on Jason I thought you were cool don’t tell me-

Jason: Pump the breaks, I’m not homophobic. Just surprised anyone would date you.

[rainnyydaysworld]

*Steph is crying after a breakup*

Cass: There there, Steph.

Steph, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

Cass: Great question—

—

Damian: It’s time to turn this into a real business.

Tim: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?

Cass: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?

Duke: I handle our accounting.

—

Tim: Just say when.

Damian: When.

Tim: I-

Tim: Now or later?

Damian: Oh.

—

Damian: What’s it like being tall?

Damian: Is it nice?

Damian: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Jason: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Cass: It was one time!

—

Tim, shooing Jason away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

—

Dick: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for the cats?

Damian: They need to learn how to protect us.

—

Tim: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Jason: Thou looks and smells of an unwashed mutt of female persuasion and so does thy lover.

Steph: You’re a bitch and so’s your man.

Tim: …… Okay, but why’s he speaking like that?

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Incorrect Nerdy Prudes Must Die 1/?

[fanaticalthings]

[Jason and Steph hanging out at Jay's apartment]

Jason: So you and Tim are like, done, right?

Steph: Oh yeah, it's definitely over. It was pretty mutual, too.

Jason: Oh, thank God. I didn't wanna say it, but it was a bit annoying whenever I invited you over, and you dragged Tim with you.

Steph: yeahhh sorry about that

Jason: It's just nice spending quality time without the rest of the bats butting in. I already have enough to deal with whenever I visit the manor.

Steph: Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm gonna be 100% batboy/Robin-free from now on!

---

Steph showing up to Jason's apartment 1 month later with Cass in tow: So here's the thing-

[theaceofarrows]

Bruce: Dick, what did you and your brother do when he visited Blüdhaven the other day?

Dick: Nothing much, why?

Bruce: Because I just saw a headline saying, "Wayne sons Dick Grayson arrests Brother Jason Todd when on police duty Friday afternoon to reenact Justin Timberlake arrest whilst dozens of witnesses watch."

Dick: [shrugs] Yeah, we did that. Why?

Bruce: Firstly I don't know what that even means. Secondly, why would you do that?

Jason: It means Dick arrested me and I said, "this is going to ruin the tour."

Dick: And I said, "what tour?" To which Jason replied, "The world tour."

Jason: All while I was wearing a piss poor disguise

Bruce: [tiredly] Why?

Jason: Because it was funny

Bruce: [rubbing his temples] No. No it isn't...

Dick: Well, six billion other people say otherwise~

[lithiumseven]

[hangon-silvergirl]

fallout tv series + text posts, what could go wrong?