#or fail idk man
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| 3 december 2024 |
I didn't make any progress on quantum.... however I did complete the last two assignments from my TA course ! also just found out we have another quantum homework due on the day of the exam so 😃
#also my quantum prof said the exam “should be pretty easy” ...#idk about that but okay#we will perserve !#or fail idk man#studyblr#studyblrspace#studyspo#study motivation#study inspo#gradblr#studyblr college
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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Having some feelings this evening about Frodo’s reaction to people around him being corrupted by desire for the One Ring. How generally devoid it is of any blame placed on that person, and how he instead treats it as a tragedy to spare others from by distancing himself.
It’s a big deal in the latter books that Frodo wants to show Sméagol kindness if possible because things have progressed so far that Frodo can recognize his own experience in him. But what’s really making me stare at a wall right now are Frodo’s early days reactions even before the personal identification is as strong.
Basically, I can’t stop thinking about how deeply Frodo’s reaction to that last encounter with Boromir is informed by the fact that the first person to ever try and take the ring from Frodo was actually Bilbo. The fact that the first person Frodo ever saw corrupted to that point, even for a moment, was the kind, clever, caring uncle who adopted and taught him, and who Frodo thinks the world of.
Just thinking about the personal relationship Frodo had with the very first person he saw the Ring affect and how fundamentally that set the tone for his understanding of it for the entirety of the journey.
#tossing my thoughts into the void#is this anything#idk tumblr can have my 1am LOTR shower thoughts#lotr#frodo baggins#bilbo baggins#boromir#I’m due for a reread methinks#idk man I just think it’s really fundamentally important that the very FIRST person Frodo ever saw the ring corrupt was and continues to be#one of his all time favorite people#like of course he views the ring’s affect as a tragedy and not a failing#of course he does
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damn i almost wish the intrepid heroes had done worse this episode because the concept is of this battle was epic as hell. i would have loved to see more of baron being creepy, a confrontation with jawbone and i would have loved to see the other players play baron
#genuinely i was cheering them on when they rolled but I also wanted them to fail so badly lolol#THEM BEING POSSSED BY BARON WAS SO COOL!!!!!!#when Lou locked the door???? man it was so confusing and then Damn#and then he went all is with his attacks#and I loved how siobhan played baron#idk the concept of a spooky mordred manor inside rizzes briefcase it just slaps#epic actually#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high#baron from the baronies#jawbone o'shaughnessey#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high spoilers
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Just thinking about Dick freaking out over losing his title of best uncle to Jason.
Dick showing up to take Lian out and give Roy a break only to hear she's having a fun day with Jason
Dick walking into the room with the toy he knows Lian really wanted, only to find out Jason got it for her first.
Dick showing up to game night at Roy's only to find Jason already there.
Just Dick getting increasingly frustrated and his rival Jason having no clue well the the rest watch on in humor and exasperation. Roy finds the who thing hilarious.
Picturing it all coming to a head when Dick is babysitting Lian and she shows him a new photo they put up. Dick all dejectivly being like, "look, it's you and your favorite uncle."
The pure shock and joy he feels when Lian tells him he wrong and her favorite uncle is "you uncle Dickie, duh!"
The door opening and Lian shouting "Papa!" As dick turns to excitedly tell Roy what Lian said only to see it's Jason who's holding Lian.
Dick just bluescreening.
#dc#dick grayson#jason todd#roy harper#lian harper#batman#Roy being daddy and Jason is papa#Dick being oblivious to his baby bros relationship#nobody is gonna let Dick live this down#bright side is Dick still holds favorite Uncle title#Dick: I thought you were just really good friends#Jasons always there because he lives there half the time.#what's the point of having a rich Bruce if you can't abuse his money and tech to “work” in Gotham well still living with his boyfriend.#dick cries when jason asks him to go with him to pick out a ring#dick cries again when Roy does the same#dick: omg im living in a Hallmark movie rn#part two: features the battle for Grayson. aka both want him as their best man.#i wish i could edit tags because my grammar seems to fail me whenever I write in them.#my posts#jason todd x roy harper#royjay#royjoy#idk
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the amount her death haunts me is unreasonable
#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#v2 ultrakill#v1#v2#tw blood#but like also its ultrakill i mean u cant NOT have blood in there#to be one step behind from being good enough#with the perfect you right behind you.. its haunting im so mad how much v2 gets to me#she exists to fail#if thats not a failgirl idk what is#anyway i put a lot into this drawing im going insane#its been a while since ive spent 2 weeks on 1 drawing#its always the doomed robots with me man
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oh yeah also jayvik are extremely orpheus and eurydice coded i don't make the rules
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#jayce talis#jayce arcane#viktor arcane#jayvik#jayce x viktor#you mightve guessed that ive been listening to the hadestown soundtrack again recently#but anyways. jayce going back over and over and failing in timeline after timeline in the hopes that maybe this time. maybe just this once#he'll succeed and get his partner back#viktor putting the whole of his faith and trust in jayce that jayce will come back for him even though he fails again and again#but still viktor cannot imagine not believing in jayce one more time#the way the entire universe hangs in the balance of their bond oh man#i feel like jayvik is beyond categorization they're like the peak of classical romance which is not necessarily kisses and dating etc#but like the purest form of intimacy and affection. or something#i should write a fic abt this#anyways . idk . im a big fan of meljayvik so mel fits in here SOMEWHERE i just havent figured it out yet#if you made it to the bottom of this wall of tags here's a pie 🥧
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I find the most interesting difference between Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan isn't "malice" and "kindness" but rather Shen Jiu being a desperate-to-survive sore loser and Shen Yuan being an uncompetitive good sport, and it's interesting to see how their differences kind of flow from those two opposing traits
Both are desperate to survive in their own ways, however I guess you could argue Shen Jiu did everything to secure the life he wanted, meanwhile Shen Yuan idled and idled until fire was put under his ass and he finally had to do something to secure better living standards for himself
You could argue Shen Jiu has a stronger will to survive, but even being alive he didn't seem to enjoy it and be happy all that much. Meanwhile Shen Yuan strives for very little but generally is happy with the bare necessities and choosing to just loudly inflate his complaints about little things instead, which probably endears him to the people around him
#my text#idk just had vague thoughts about their difference in desperate competitiveness#you could also extraplate how being a sore loser didnt lend well to developing friendships or showing vulnerability#which meant shen yuan could just seemingly effortlessly develop sqq's relationships while sj suffered to do the same#maybe that lack of vunerable honesty was why sj failed to save lqg on a meta level#a man as hard headed as lqg wouldnt respond well to such an acidic sort of help that strongly tied to sj's pride and face#even if he wanted to genuinely prevent his death#i guess sj is bitterly saving any face he can#while sy is just embarrassed about losing face in just a cringe way#the ignorant insecurity-feeler vs the enlightened petty cringer. i guess lol#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#shen jiu#jiuyuan#scumcum
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need more cyberverse wavewave fic of these two losers like i need oxygen. husbands who are cringe but somehow think the other is way worse (they're both horrible )
#almost captioned this my bttm bara husband who gets on my fucking nerves or whatevr#thankfully i did not listen to . erm. the demons#soundwave : once again shockwave fails to surprise us with his ever increasing failures at even the measliest mission#soundwave's electrical impulse: meow hi meow#shockwave: im gonna fucking Kill you .#shockwave's electrical impulse: im gonna touch you#idk man i just want fic ok#'then write it'NOOOOO!!!!!!!!#shockwave#soundwave#wavewave#tf cyberverse#transformers#maccadam#cyberverse soundwave#cyberverse shockwave#sketch#meep
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn’t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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fave john quote ever tbh like. that's so awkward. john like yeah I tried to start the rumor that I was gay but it never took off and the interviewer just "wait I thought paul was the gay one" absolutely heinous. fucking hilarious. john literally never wins.
#john out there purposefully trying to start gay rumors and failing#paul Existing and people going man idk seems fruity to me#fucking hysterical no notes
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ue college sunday...
#i may not look like it but i am positively insane over this man#many sundays drawn but none posted#simply bc i think i have failed to capture his beauty#they will show up one day idk#kart 🐮emoji#honkai star rail#hsr sunday#hsr
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ykw i'm just gonna say it. "it must have been awful for tommy to be closeted under gerrard's captaincy" and "tommy had a privileged position due to his gender and race that he actively benefited from and failed to utilize to openly advocate for chimney and hen—particularly chimney—who didn't have the privilege he did" are two statements that can and should coexist
#mostly i blame tim for bringing a character like this back and failing to address how he was initially introduced#because no matter what tommy is like NOW he very much was introduced as part of the white man status quo in the begins episodes#idk i'm just irritated by the way some people are glossing over or even ignoring the fact that hen and chim were the true victims of#gerrard's captaincy#in favour of making it all about tommy (and buck)#neethu speaks#fandom discourse
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I was rewatching mouthwashing, and I ended up thinking of the different reactions that Curly and Jimmy had in doing their tasks. How during the scene of Anya evaluating Jimmy and showing dread towards the idea of doing his evaluation, Curly was the one that offered to take it off her hands. He had no issue with adding more to his plate, because he knew - or well, thought, he knew that Jimmy wasn't going to "bullshit" with him since he's known him for a long time. When Anya hands Curly a note from Swansea, Curly goes to check out what the issue is and he takes care of it without a complaint, the only "complaint" he has is how this incident could have damaged the pods. Which is reasonable, those pods are their only way to be saved if anything tragic happens on the ship. However, in comparison to Jimmy being asked to do things, he's passive-aggressive about it. When Anya asks Jimmy if he could help her out with Curly's painkillers, he tells her that people should be worth their titles, specifically using her title as a nurse when she asked him for help and then when she says forget it, since he made her feel insecure, he still goes "Oh no, I'LL take care of it" as if he was doing a chore, a favor for her. Then, there's that part where he blows up at her for things that she didn't even ask him to do - more so the others asked him about it, like the code scanner, him deciding he needed to find the axe for the foam, and then, there's the medicine part (which when she does ask, and she reconsiders - going to do it herself, he takes that away from her). Jimmy complains about the tasks he has to do and he treats it like a big issue, a "woes me" that he has to do this and that - wanting the praise of the capital without actually doing any work. While Curly doesn't complain about it, in fact, he even mentions that he's aware of how well he is doing at his job as a Captain during that cockpit scene with him and Jimmy. If Jimmy only had to do a small amount of tasks to get irritated and annoyed at being captain, while Curly didn't which I feel like encapsulates their personalities. Curly understands what he's doing is a job, it's a responsibility, why would he complain at any point for doing what he's suppose too? Why would he be upset at people asking him to do tasks? While Jimmy on the other hand, isn't used to it at all and it's different to what he's had before and he's realizing that he doesn't actually like doing the work he has too. I just wanted to ramble about it even if it seemed kind of obvious xd
It’s obvious but it is a thing people miss or understate when trying to find parallels in Curly’s and Jimmy’s relationship/personalities.
Like the way people portray it as neither taking responsibility when it is almost split down the middle of Curly taking responsibilities and faults that shouldn’t be his and making himself unequipped to handle the ones that are while Jimmy refuses to handle the responsibilities he has because he wasn’t expecting the work that comes with them.
Not a lot to say but people forget that another thing the game comments on is prioritization of issues and responsibilities and how the guys fail at it in one way or another in the situation.
#this talk of responsibility is more so about me be very annoyed with people acting like Swansea was the most responsible man on that ship#when he immediately takes a break after his intern in stuck in the foam starts drinking the moment he find out the mouthwash is alcoholic#doesn’t tell anyone about the cryopod or explain himself and did nothing about Jimmy either until it was too late#like I’m sorry but he is also the last guy I’d like to hear about responsibility from cause he did just as bad as Curly post crash like he#wasn’t even nice to Anya outside the one conversation we see he was actually just as rude to her as he was Daisuke when they cracked open#the crates and dismissive before hand like I’m getting more mad at the glorification of one guy vs the woman whose doing the most 4 herself#like I get his speech and the recognition of his faults but he still had them and they still were his downfall in the end and part of the#reason Daisuke listened to Jimmy and it’s not his fault that happened but it’s the same way it’s not Curly’s fault Jimmy is like that#but I digress cause people don’t exactly like when we actually discuss the responsibilities the crew mates should’ve and shouldn’t have had#or what they actually did to help cause idk Anya likely would not feel supported by any of them after the fact if they survived like girl#only ever got attention for her problems when they were literally at the worst that’s not helping or taking responsibility like she had to#kill herself to feel some sort of relief also the irony about Curly’s concern about killing herself only#for it to get to the point she actually did because there was no safety for her they all failed her#Swansea would’ve just told her to tell the captain and he’d watch Jimmy and ultimately it would play out the same cause he’s tries to not#get to involved cause he’s old and been through enough already and she’d feel just as unheard like he was closer to Daisuke#and not once after the crash did he really try to steer him away from liking Jimmy which again he points out himself#like I love Swansea and Daisuke but they were just as complacent in Anya’s suffering and Jimmy’s behavior even if they knew less that should#not make them more viable options or it more excusable like crazy conclusions to comes to ig on my part but yall hate#the idea that maybe a major point is that Anya was alone as a woman and overlooked#mouthwashing#ask#mouthwashing game#anon#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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You know it's incredibly funny that early in act 1 Wyll apologises for not telling you his surname which while get why he thinks is something worth apologising, is ridiculous given he's the one who tells the party his surname first by far. You have to kill gale to get that info. Karlach and Astarion both only reveal it in act 3 and Astarion only tells you if you're dating him. Shadowheart gets a pass for not knowing hers and while Of Creche K'liir is as much as a surname as Of Waterdeep by faerun standards it is like actually the closest thing Githyanki get to one so props to Lae'zel for coming out of the gate with that one.
#bg3#wyll ravengard#baldurs gate 3#“i am so sorry tab. i failed you by not telling you my surname is Ravengard. i just cant conceptialise myself as a human beyond my mask”#“idk if we can forgive him what do you think saers ”not stated“ ”fuck you“ ”i dont remember“ and ”Of Waterdeep“ ”#like yes i know the arc behind it of course i do i think about the impications of that line daily its just so funny#man with eternally the worlds most unearned guilt complex#i always make hims apologises for the arc reasons but like its so unneeded#like its fine honey the devil pact hiding was way worse#and even then its not as bad as the sharren the vampire and the guy with a nuc in his chest#those are much more pressing than you being a disowned nepo baby with justifiably daddy issues
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I've been listening to the Thunder Saga, and I wonder if Zeus is also asking a question with a right and wrong answer in Thunder Bringer like I think Poseidon did in Ruthlessness. (I have a post for that, but I think Odysseus wasn't supposed to apologize, but to instead acknowledge that he should have killed Polyphemus).
Poseidon had to teach him to be ruthless.
Zeus needs to teach him to stop being so prideful.
Like, yes - Eurylochus did stage the mutiny and killed the cow. But! That was because Odysseus decided not to tell any of his men that they would need to accept 6 deaths to get home and allow them to make the choice themselves - because Odysseus couldn't handle the idea that they might refuse going past Scylla and keep him from going home.
This is even present in the song Scylla. Eurylochus is moved to confess that it was him who opened the bag of winds, but Odysseus keeps his own secrets and guilt to himself. I think none of the men even knew they were going past Scylla at all until it happened, since all Eurylochus says is "something approaches," implying he doesn't know what that something even IS.
Scylla even compares Odysseus to themselves, with his full transformation from man to monster now completed.
You hide a reason for shame You know that we are the same Leaving them feeling betrayed Breaking the bonds that you've made There is no price we won't pay We both know what it takes to survive
But if you notice, once they kill the cow, they start following Odysseus again. Hell, Eurylochus calls him captain! They follow his orders to escape! This shows that their real desire wasn't to overthrow Odysseus, but rather their anger and betrayal at not even having the option to choose to fight over sacrifice.
And honestly, this happened because Odysseus has demonstrated time and again that he will not discuss anything with his men and instead makes decisions without their input (too much pride to ever consider anyone's opinion other than his own).
In Storm, he tries to force the fleets to keep going despite Eurylochus saying that continuing would sink them all. In the same song, Odysseus also decides to go to the wind god without any discussion beforehand, and completely ignores Eurylochus's advice in Luck Runs Out about the inherent danger of going to the gods for help. In this same song, Odysseus also completely ignores the deaths of his men by Polyphemus, and instead brags about none of them dying in the war. (Once again, the pride Zeus mentions, and that Eurylochus criticizes in both Luck Runs Out and Puppeteer).
This is why Eurylochus opens the bag of winds, because Odysseus has proven he can't be trusted to tell him anything that could be important or put their lives in danger. Despite Eurylochus being his second in command, he's never treated as such. Odysseus has never once discussed something with him, taken his concerns into account, made a decision with him together, or even taken his advice. (Even cutting him off as far back as Full Speed Ahead without even considering his opinion).
Odysseus continues to ignore what Eurylochus tries to talk to him about in Puppeteer, and instead unintentionally gets all his men trapped by Circe. He then goes against Eurylochus again in the same song to confront her despite neither of them knowing if she can be defeated. All of this comes to a head when Odysseus does the same thing again in Scylla, except his decision was to intentionally let their men die for his own desires - and Eurylochus had no idea until it had already happened.
And that's why Eurylochus mutinies. He does it because he cares about his men, seemingly more than Odysseus has demonstrated he ever has.
(I'm not saying that Eurylochus has been right this whole time, and honestly I doubt Eurylochus would say the same - but Odysseus won't even listen to what he has to say, is the problem. He has too much pride).
And then Zeus arrives and proves Eurylochus right.
Zeus gives Odysseus a choice - him or his men. Forcing him to come to terms with the very same decision he made during Scylla and expose him for only caring for himself and not the men under his command.
Zeus is criticizing Odysseus and claiming that he's too full of pride to sacrifice himself to save his men. His men of which he is their captain. Of which he is their king. Zeus points this out to him explicitly, leading me to believe that he wasn't supposed to choose himself here.
I think that by taking back command after they killed the cow, Odysseus had taken responsibility for his men's actions. Except, when confronted with those same actions, he refuses to. Much like how a boss gets in trouble when their subordinates do something wrong, a captain should do the same for his crew.
Except. Odysseus doesn't. He fails the test.
And now he must have his pride taken from him again and again until he learns the lesson Zeus was teaching him. Just like he did with learning ruthlessness from Poseidon.
I think the next saga will involve him being confronted with this decision he makes here, and how it was the wrong one, and then the saga after that (perhaps with the suitors? I'm unsure how many more are planned) is when Odysseus will reprise Thunder Bringer and finally be able to return home.
#epic the musical#epic the thunder saga#idk man#mine#i just think both Poseidon and Zeus are testing Odysseus and he keeps failing and never understanding the lessons the gods are teaching him#until its too late#long post#also. yes. i know this is an adaptation and there isnt room for a LOT of variation from the Odyssey#that doesnt mean i can't analyze the songs and hypothesize that if Odysseus had chosen different the results would have changed#how did i accidentally circle away from my point to become a Eurylochus defender? lmao#this is who i am now i guess#also be nice to me if this is a dumb analysis but it's all I was thinking about at work while listening to this
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