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inf3ct3dd · 11 months ago

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streamer!ellie pt.2

summary: i hated the other one of this that i made, so REMAKE TIEM!!!

warnings: miiinor sexual content, shit talking, gay people 😒

authors note: heheheh ples don’t flop this time..

- during her faceless days, she opened up a po box so ppl could send her things, and she made an amazon wishlist and she unboxed stuff on stream 😍😍

- one day she was unboxing a giant box of cat toys. string, those little feather stick things, even that weird automatic flapping fish thing (that she secretly loves and taped to her back one time)

- she was playing with this one toy that was a little fishing reel, and it had string and a little fish on the bottom. she went on and onnn about how shes a self proclaimed “fishing master” while garf chased it around, letting out little meows and growls of frustration.

- eventually, she lost her grip and let go of the pole. she bent down to pick it up, forgetting that her face would be in view. thus, the chat started blowing up.

ewwwbruh: FACE REVEAL

ewwife: EW WE CAN SEE UR FACE

ewwife: JUST THE SIDE BUT WE CAN SEE YOUU

ewssidechick: her nose looks so rideable…

- she got distracted petting garfield, and didn’t realize anything until she stood up. she was getting tagged over and over again on twitter, blurry pictures of her face (curtesy of the shitty webcam) circulating through her subreddit.

- “guys. im gonna erase this from ur memory…” and she literally held up this goofy ass hypnotizer pendelum and started fake hypnotizing everyone like “that never happenedddd” “you don’t know what i look likeeee” “that was fakeeee” “chat that was not reallll”

- and everyone literally js went along with it and pretended it never happened. like ppl were tweeting about it and everyone was like “huh??? what are u talking about bruh??”

- she did the same thing after falling off her rainbow unicorn scooter 😞

- one time she revealed that the “ew” in her username stood for her initials, and everyone was making the most horrendous guesses. elliam willace being the favorite one.

- “guys, my name is not edward wilson??? i am…not a man”

- shes gotten into so much drama…multiple notes app apologies have been issued via her instagram story.

- people would ask her opinions on other streamers, and she’d literally just be like “…i have no idea who that is.” and people would get so MADDDD but homegirl is literally just blatantly unaware

- or she would know , and would literally be like “they’re honestly super annoying and i would rather kill myself than watch them but whatever floats ur boat ig!”

- she played that “womp womp womp womppp” sound effect on her soundboard afterwards.

- SPEAKING OF. she abuses that soundboard sooo much. its so obnoxious and annoying like I SWEARRR!!! she’ll tell a horrible pun and play the crowd laughing and cheering sound effects while literally no one laughed.

“guys. whats the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament??”

“…live streaming.”

(crowd cheering sound effect)

“nooo thank you thank you, you’re all too kind, really!!”

- meanwhile chat was dead silent.

- every time she gets to choose her own name on a game its some dumb shit like "jizzmaster" or "chris fucker"

- “it appears you have entered innapropriate content.” “OHHH LOOK AT EPISODE LOOK AT THESE CORPORATE BIGWIGS TRYING TO CONTROL THE LITTLE MAN???”

- she just ended up naming him “chris phucker”

- like when she played episode on stream and made up really annoying voices for all the characters and made her character look like an elderly man, and made the love interest look like you 😍😍

- she messes up sm on games when she streams normally, but when you're there? she is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. sitting there so focused the entire time just to show off

- whenever she randomly goes silent she just starts SINGING. it's either nicki minaj or some fucking fnaf song

"IS THIS THE THANKS THAT I GET FOR PUTTING U BITCHES ON???"

- speaking of, her favorite fnaf song is def “stay calm” cuz she loves saying “hey kids. Nice to eat ya.”

- bought one of those "i paused my game to be here" tshirts…ironically. you refuse to let her wear it in public

- beefs w kids on fortnite sm... she has definitely gotten banned for saying she was gonna bomb a kids house or fuck their mom 😞

- every time she plays a game, she'll literally sit there and watch an 8 hour long video about the lore. she'll plop down on the couch and watch it like a movie

"did you know everyone actually thought that fnaf one took place in 1993, but it was actually 1992?"

- she definitely had you sit next to her when she played through fnaf because she was lowk scared the entire time whenever she heard you walking around the house while she was playing she'd hear footsteps in the hallway and be like. WHAT THE FUCKKK

-she'd have you right next to her, laying your head on her shoulder and messing with her free hand. if you fell asleep, she would be sitting there slapping her hand over her mouth whenever she gets jumpscared bc she doesn't want you to wake up 😞

- sometimes, while she streams , she plays one handed games and lets you sit and draw on her arm for fun. even got you a whole set of those skin markers so u could go ABSOLUTELY HAM. she got one drawing you did that said “r + e 4eva” tattooed in ur handwriting…such a sap

- she loves watching fan edits of herself...AND OF YOU. she'll be on her burner account with a whole collection on tiktok of edits of you.

ewwsbiggestfan: shes so bad i want her to hit me w her car...

- speaking of. imagine her using that account to make shitty capcut edits of you like

- shes ur biggest fan ongod

-WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF “fans”…what if i made a completely new origin story for streamer!ellie and reader. what if they were both streamers….

- OKAY SO BASICALLY.

- you had started streaming about a year before ellie did. butttt, you two did very different types of streaming.

- you weren’t very into like, SERIOUS video games. sure, you played some stuff, like animal crossing and roblox and the sims, but nothing more than that.

- that wasn’t what you were streaming though.

- ever since you were younger, you had been wayyyy into…literature.

-by literature i mean fanfiction. heaps of it.

- actors, anime characters, BOOK CHARACTERS, you were in DEEP

- sometimes, for fun, you used to read them out loud in stupid voices. when you were alone, or with your friends, it was very entertaining

- that��s when you got the idea to start streaming it. if it could entertain your friends, and you, whos to say it wouldn’t entertain other people.

- well, it definitely did. in your first year, you hit 10k followers. people loved you. theyd make edits of you, send in requests of fics for you to read, everything.

- a while later, ellie started gaining more and more popularity. out of all the incomes of fame, fanfiction was the most. abundant!

- one day, you got a request to read an ellie x reader fic. at the time, you barely had any idea who she was, but you decided to just go with it 🤞🏽

- “who the fuck is elliam willace???”

- the fanfic was definitely very…graphic!

- “your hips rolled onto her thigh, her slender, tattooed hand palming at your waist. ‘you’re doing so good babe, fuck.’-“ “GUYS. ISN’T SHE NOT ON MUTE RIGHT NOW???”

- you couldn’t help but giggle the rest of the fic, feeling a nagging heat in your core. you didn’t even know who the girl was, but if this fic was accurate, someone would have to sedate you.

-“im actually. gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. GUYS. who is this woman…is she real… if she is. things are about to get WICKED.”

- not very thankful to you at the moment, she was very real. apparently, you and her were streaming at the same time, and your followers raided her stream telling her she was reading about you. her curiosity was obviously piqued, and why would she NOT join the stream?

- creeperewman: im definitely real!

- the text on your screen literally made your stomach fall into your ass. you stood up and legit just walked out of the room, camera still on. was she there the whole time???

- creeperewman: aww 😞 where’d she go she’s so badddd

- you eventually returned after a minute of calming yourself down, and low and behold, she gifted you 100 subs and followed you on instagram.

- she was definitely very real!! and that fanfic was…lore accurate. to say the least 😊

- after you two started dating, the two of you would often show up on eachothers streams. ellie, teaching you how to play cod, and you, reading with her.

- she secretly loves reading the fics people write about her and making fun of them, and every time you stream with her shes “subtly” hinting that you should read about her

sitting there pulling on her collar, looking away like “gee, wonder who you’re gonna pick today” with the worst fake laugh ever.

- “ellie can barely ride a scooter, idk why she’s in the mafia rn…” “you fall off ONE TIME and all of a sudden you cant ride a scooter. bullshit.”

- she makes fun of all the dumb pet names like “babygirl” and “darling” and randomly calls you them and bursts out laughing

- you still read those fics when you’re bored sometimes. and ellie MERCILESSLY makes fun of you for it

“yknow, if you missed me that bad, you should’ve just told me.”

#streamer!ellie #ellie williams au #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x f!reader #ellie williams x black!reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams

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perfectlysanexd · 2 months ago

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I haven't done one of these kind of posts in a while, but the expressions in Rebirth were top notch, and I wanted to talk a bit about and analyze Sephiroth's different smiles, both pre and post Nibelheim.

Nibelheim itself is difficult to gauge, because SOLDIER Cloud is actually Zack, and furthermore, some of it is definitely his own wishful thinking. But one thing you can say for sure, is that they portray that Sephiroth, despite being so emotionally weary, still summons up the energy to smile at his friend.

As soon as he turns away from Zack, his smile falls, and he doesn't give one to the Mayor at all.

However, when he turns back to inform the men that they're free until sundown, he summons up another smile for them. I don't think that he's just attempting to keep their morale up, he genuinely has affection for Zack, and cares for the others. He respects them for their service, putting their lives on the line for what they think is a good cause, and Sephiroth—as we saw in Ever Crisis—learned to be a compassionate person, who cares about the lives of others, even enemies.

Of course, he's deeply distressed during this time, the despair is eating him alive. Even Cloud acknowledges(despite having not known Sephiroth on a personal level) that he just wasn't himself once they arrived. But I'm not going to talk about my theories on all the Jenova stuff right now, that's not the focus here. Even at the window, you can tell he's feeling off, but when he turns to Zack, he attempts to smile again.

Sephiroth has never enjoyed his fame, and as we learned in Ever Crisis, he didn't choose it; Shinra made up bogus achievements and declared him to be a hero before even his first field assignment, as part of their recruitment campaign. Can't argue with results, I guess—it certainly got Cloud to join up out of hero worship, right? In EC, Sephiroth admits that all he ever wanted was to be normal, something that he knows he can never have. How sad...

So when this man wants to take his picture, it's no wonder that he's over it by then, and tells him no. And rather politely, too, all things considered. But even before that, he smiles and tells Zack that as long as he does his job, their young tourguide will be safe.

But as soon as he turns his back and walks away? Yeah, that smile immediately fades.

Which certainly doesn't change when the guy takes his picture. But of course, when Zack asks Sephiroth to pose for one, he just can't say no, even though he's not super happy about it. Anyway, he continues to smile at Zack for the duration of their journey up Mt. Nibel, making an effort to talk and even cracking a couple jokes, just trying to be a good leader and keep them in good spirits.

And of course, there's the very sad bridge part, where you can tell that he's genuinely upset that he failed to save the other infantryman that got washed away. He searches for him, but comes up empty-handed. Still, he smiles for Zack and teases him about a performance assessment, since their morale is quite low now, but they need to keep going.

Honestly, the Nibelheim part of Rebirth really did an excellent job of portraying Sephiroth's inner struggle. For reference, there are only 3 points in Remake, I think, when Sephiroth drops his ever-present, sometimes affectionate(towards Cloud) and often unhinged, smile: First, it's replaced with sheer rage as he kills President Shinra.

Second time, is when Aerith has a Cetra moment and suggests that his entire existence is "wrong".

And the third time is when he holds out his hand to Cloud at the Edge of Creation, and is rejected by him.

Anyway, back to Rebirth. Ignoring the bizarre smiles he showed us as Nibelheim was burning, as if he was in a trance and just not all there(that's a subject for a different chat), post-Nibelheim Sephiroth's smiles are interesting, too, if we consider what kind they are, depending on who he's dealing with.

For people he hates, like Tseng, it's much more unhinged looking, and very cold. You can tell there's a certain measure of satisfaction from shanking him, haha...

For someone like Aerith, who...I wouldn't exactly say that he hates her, but she's definitely in the way. I would almost say that he considers her to be actively preventing Cloud from recovering his true memories, leading him to remain as merely Sephiroth's "puppet", but that's a theory for another day. He looks at her coldly, as well, but it's a bit different. There's a bit more respect there than there was for Tseng.

And then there's Zack. Actual Zack. I feel like, deep down, he still cares about him, and has no intention of killing him. I almost sense a little...regret? Maybe? Hm. It's definitely a bit warmer of a smile. And of course, although he had many opportunities to get rid of Zack, he doesn't. Instead, he sends him off into the space between worlds safely.

And of course, last but certainly not least, is the way he smiles at Cloud. I know, I know. "But Sane, you like sefikura, so you're biased!" Look, I won't deny that. However, when you really look at it and compare his smiles, which is what this is all about, his truest smiles are always saved for Cloud. He has 2 different "flavors": pure affection and cruel affection. (There are also a few pity smiles, I think.) The former is used most of the time, whenever Cloud is in his sight, and the latter is used during moments when he's trying to control/influence him. I would almost say that he's...satisfied, yet regretful at the same time?? Like these:

And now, let's contrast that with his more genuine, affectionate smiles for Cloud... (The first shot here ⬇ can be contrasted with the shot 2 up from the bottom there ⬆, as the one above is when he's calling Cloud his puppet, and the one below is when Cloud goes to attack him and he opens his arms wider for the incoming uh...embrace.)

Remake had many interesting smiles from him, too, but that will have to be a different post, as this already has 30 screenshots. Anywho, you're free to draw your own conclusions, and not everyone reads faces in the same way, so maybe I'm nuts. Who knows? Either way, I hope you enjoyed this random, indulgent, very long post, haha. If you made it to the end, you're awesome. 💕

All screenshots were taken by me on my PS5. I won't ask for credit on them, since literally anyone can take an identical shot if they pause at the right second. (The exception are the 3 Remake shots, which were taken on PC with mods and the freecam. For those, I would appreciate credit if you use them anywhere, since I don't watermark them.)

#sephiroth #final fantasy vii #cloud strife #sefikura #rebirth

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cleolinda · 1 year ago

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The Scariest Movie I Ever Saw in a Theater: The Ring

I'll tell you up front that the story I'm going to tell you is about "The Ring (2002)," in the sense that it is about The Ring in the year 2002.

See, I don't know what The Scariest Movie Ever is. A quick google says that the consensus is The Exorcist (I haven't seen it, because I never felt like scheduling a day to freak myself the entire fuck out). But horror is specific, and not just to a person, but to a time and place, even. When I saw The Shining as a teenager in a well-lit living room with other people, I didn't even really flinch, but I bet it would play very differently to me now. I don’t think The Ring is at the top of anyone’s list, but twenty years ago, I had a personal interest in it—at the time, I was running a dinky little Geocities site devoted to movie news. Links curated and compiled from all the other, bigger sites I followed—basically, it was the linkspam format I have used on multiple platforms, including here on Sundays. And so, as someone who followed theatrical releases pretty closely for two or three years, I saw the trailer for The Ring, and I immediately knew it was going to be huge.

To locate you in time, this was just after three self-satirizing Scream movies and the Overcomplicated Serial Killer films of the '90s. The Ring was something completely different: chill aqua-blue color grading a good 5-6 years before Twilight; a mournful Hans Zimmer score; no jokes, no quips; and a slow, inexorable sense of doom. Grief, even, given that the movie begins with the death of the main character's niece. What immediately struck me about the first trailer was 1) the melancholy of it, and 2) how much it doesn't explain. Onscreen, you get the title cards,

THERE IS A VIDEOTAPE IF YOU WATCH IT SEVEN DAYS LATER YOU DIE

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Concise! Understandable! A woman (Naomi Watts) is freaking out upon discovering that her young son has just watched it! Admirable job setting up the premise and the stakes of this entire movie in thirty seconds flat, without even any dialogue. That's all you need to know, and thus, the remaining minute of the trailer can do whatever it wants, and what it wants to do is be fucking weird. Echoing voices, TV static, a closeup of a horse's eye, ladders, a girl with dark hair, people reacting to things we don't see, drippy doorknobs, rain. Characters don't give us the whole plot in convenient soundbites of dialogue (like they do in a later trailer); we just hear lines, overlapping, murmured out of context—

did you see it in your head? she talks to you... leading you somewhere... showing you the horses... you saw it. did you see it in your head? she shows me things. Everyone suffers.

That you saw it has lived in my head ever since, and not once have I charged it rent. But the "best" part is Naomi Watts screaming at the end, because you don't hear her voice; you only hear this heartless telephonic beeeeeeep. It's 2002 and I'm watching this trailer, thinking, I have no idea what the fuck I just saw. This is going to be huge.

And it was, to the tune of $249 million on a $48M budget.

At risk of recapping what you might already know, Ringu, aka Ring, is a media franchise that spiraled out from a trio of Koji Suzuki novels into Hideo Nakata's film Ringu (1998), a landmark of Japanese horror, plus several other movies, some TV series, many comics, and even a couple of video games. The overarching story is about a murdered girl/vengeful ghost named Sadako Yamamura whose rage and pain have created a cursed video tape, you watch it and you die unless you pass the tape around like a virus, seven daaaaays, etc.

The "ring" in question is the rim of a well. Keep that well in mind.

The movie I saw is the U.S. remake, which itself had two sequels. (The iconic Sadako is now named Samara Morgan. Keep her in mind, too.) Director Gore Verbinski moved from The Ring to Pirates of the the Caribbean (!), and so Hideo Nakata himself would direct The Ring Two. I... honestly have only seen the first one. And I was right, it was huge, and it kicked off the American J-Horror Remake genre, for better or worse. But what gets forgotten about The Ring is its marketing campaign, which I followed pretty closely for my doofy little news site.

It was inspired.

The story of The Ring is partly the story of the sea change in the media landscape—how we watch movies. And the story of its marketing is a picture of the very last years before social media changed the wilderness of the internet into something that feels so big, like a billion people could see anything we say, and yet so small—only a tame handful of places to say it, owned by three or four companies, and corraled by algorithms.

Back around 1997-1998 or so, I worked at a video store (Movie Gallery, where the hits were there then, guaranteed) for about a year and a half. By the time I left, we had started adding DVDs to the VHS tapes on the shelves, but we hadn't replaced the entire stock. Video stores might have transitioned fully to DVD by 2002, I'm not sure, but people still commonly had both VCRs and DVD players in their homes. And I remember that The Ring was sold in both formats when it eventually hit home video. Which is to say—you know the analog horror genre today? Marble Hornets, Local 58, The Mandela Catalogue?

Analog horror is commonly characterized by low-fidelity graphics, cryptic messages, and visual styles reminiscent of late 20th-century television and analog recordings. This is done to match the setting, as analog horror works are typically set between the 1960s and 1990s. The name "analog horror" comes from the genre's aesthetic incorporation of elements related to analog electronics, such as analog television and VHS, the latter being an analog method of recording video.

Okay, but this is just what home media was like, and 2002 was at the very tail end of that—boxy black VHS tapes that degraded with time and reuse were just how we lived. At the same time, I'd been using CDs for music since about 1991, and all our software installs came on CD-ROM discs; a "mixtape" by that time had shifted to mean a rewriteable CD rather than a cassette tape. In college, I—well, I'll plead the Fifth as to whether I downloaded mp3s via Napster, but I was also taping Mystery Science Theater 3000 on VHS over the weekends. It was Every Format Everywhere, All At Once, and we kept half a dozen kinds of players around for them. Here in 2023, we stream and download everything invisibly, unless we choose to engage in format nostalgia. (I've already run into the problem of Apple Music deleting songs I really liked, due to this or that licensing issue, because I was really only renting them.) The year The Ring hit theaters was the edge of a last shimmering gasp of physical media where iTunes had only come into being the year before, and iridescent discs were still mostly what we used, but cassettes, both video and audio, were still viable. And so, people did not think it was terribly weird when they started finding unlabeled VHS tapes on their windshields.

Movieweb, quoting TikTok user astro_nina:

"Their marketing strategy was essentially 'let's get this tape viewed by as many people as possible without these people being aware of what this is, sort of raising intrigue," she says. One way they achieved this was by airing the tape, which allegedly marks its viewers for death within seven days, as a commercial with no context. The video would air between late-night programming "with no words, no mention of a movie, for like a month...so people would run into it and it would just go on to the next thing, and people would be like, 'what the f--k is this?'"

I remember seeing the Cursed Video as an unexplained ad at least twice, by the way. That TikTok also indicates that DreamWorks straight-up sent copies of the tape to Hot Topic stores, as well as planting them under actual movie theater seats. While running my movie site, I heard at least one story of someone finding a tape on the sink counter of a restroom at a club. Did the marketing department actually plant tapes in bathrooms—or did a freaked-out recipient leave it there, hoping to dodge the "curse"?

(I haven't embedded the Cursed Video here, by the way—but I could have. If you'd like to see the American take on it, you can watch both the full version and the shorter variant that appeared in the movie itself. A text description of what the fuck you're even looking at is here [content note for both: blood, insects, animal death, body horror, and suicide by falling]. The original version from the Japanese film is shorter, and it's eerie rather than gruesome.)

BUT WAIT, THERE WAS MORE: DreamWorks had something of an alternate-reality campaign going with a handful of in-character websites. This was only a year after Warner Bros. ran the groundbreaking "The Beast" ARG for A.I.: Artificial Intelligence: "Ultimately, fifty websites with a total of about one thousand pages were created for the [A.I.] game." (I lurked in the Cloudmakers Yahoo group.) Marketing for The Ring did not go anywhere that in depth, nor did it need to; it was both a smaller film and a smaller story. I saw at least two “personal” websites (seemingly amateur and a little tacky, like my own), but the one I particularly remember was about someone who owned/trained horses? I'm not sure if it was meant to be the actual Anna Morgan character—Samara's mother—or maybe someone who had noticed that the Morgans' horses were disturbed? I'm not even sure anyone even remembers this but me. Reddit users dug up a few other archived websites, but they're about Sadako, the curse and/or videotape; they aren't as subtle or character-oriented as the site I remember. (Honestly, I wonder if weird shit like "What Scares Me" or "SEVEN DAYS TO LIVE" were made by fans rather than a marketing department, but who knows.)

[The “About” page from Seven Days to Live on the Internet Archive.]

[The entirety of An Open Letter on the Internet Archive. “UPDATE” is a now-blank pop-up. I would bet $5 that it was originally a pop-up of the cursed video.]

I need to point out here that Facebook did not exist in 2002. It would not exist for another two years, and Twitter wouldn't exist until 2006. Even MySpace was not a thing until the next year. I didn't start my Livejournal until October of 2003. What we had, for the most part, were independent forums and blogs. We also had Creepy Internet Fiction like "The Dionaea House" and "Ted the Caver"; their use of the blog format, of people out there seemingly living their lives until something fucked up went down, gave the stories the shape of reality. And it helped that these blogs had comment sections, sure—sometimes more story unfolded there—but for the most part, an author could "abandon" a blog, and you'd just find the story there via word of mouth. Like the Ring blogs I remember, it wouldn't seem strange if no one replied to you, whereas today, you'd have to hire a writer to sit on Twitter, or Reddit, or even Tumblr, and interact with people in character. Could you do something like The Ring's mysterious, weird-ass blogs today? Would anyone even notice?

So: It's 2002, my head is full of Alternate Reality and eerie images and you saw it, and I'm hype as hell to go out and see The Ring. I'm perfectly happy to go see movies by myself, so I went in the early afternoon (best time to get a good seat). The movie ended up being a sleeper hit, and the first weekend, the public was still sleeping on it, so there were only 7-8 other people in that theater, grouped in maybe two clusters. I was off in my own little pool of darkness in the upper right quadrant. Functionally, once the lights went down, I was alone.

Despite some middling reviews at the time, The Ring is something of a horror classic nowadays. If you want a scary movie this Spooky Season, check out The Ring. Or don't, because it nearly killed me.

We're at the last, I don't know, third of the movie? And Our Heroine has tracked down the origin of the Cursed Videotape to some creepy mountain motel or whatever. SPOILER, it turns out that it was built over the Cursed Well (everything in this movie is cursed) that Our Villain was thrown into—that's why Sadako/Samara is a vengeful wet murder ghost crawling out of TVs now. While investigating this decrepit hotel room, intrepid journalist Rachel and her, who is it, her ex-husband? her kid's dad, idk, discover the well under the creaky old floorboards. And then, wouldn't you know it,

NAOMI WATTS FALLS INTO THE WELL

NAOMI WATTS FALLS INTO THE FUCKING WELL

THAT'S WHERE SAMARA'S BODY IS

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[The rather slapstick moment when Rachel falls into the well. Does not include what actually happens next.]

I go absolutely rigid in my seat. Naomi Watts is splashing around this dark-ass death swamp of a well and I know, with as much certainty as I have ever known anything in my life, that Samara is about to pop up in all her pasty, waterlogged glory. All the sad creepy dread, all the desperation to figure out what the fuck all that shit on the tape was and stop Samara from killing Rachel's son, all the horrible contorted victim faces, all the alternate reality I’ve been soaking in, it has all come to this. I have to leave the theater. I cannot be having with this. I have to be gone from this place. My legs do not work. I cannot feel them. I am frozen. I want nothing more in this life or any other to get up and leave this cavernous pitch-black room, and I cannot. I start praying for death. I want you to understand that I am not trying to be flippant or humorous. This is genuinely what went through my head. I was too scared to even think, "You know, you could just pray to pass out or for motion to return to your limbs or something." No, I sat there in The Ring thinking, Please for the love of all mercy just let me cease being.

You know that scene in Mulholland Drive (also starring Naomi Watts)? Winkie's diner and the EXCRUCIATING tension? It was a little like that, except I wasn't watching it, I was experiencing it, and Samara was my dirt monster out behind the diner.

Except that the jump scare didn't actually happen. I mean, yes, Rachel finds Samara's body down there, but—I don't remember exactly, please don't make me go watch it again to tell you what actually happens. It's played more sympathetically on Rachel's part, as I recall, and she and her ex get Samara's body out so that she (Samara) can have a proper burial.

And then it turns out that this is not the end of the movie. It turns out that Rachel has Fucked Up.

I think I was relatively okay through the rest of it, although the climax is Samara emerging from a TV in her full glitching swampy glory to scare [SPOILER] to death. I don't recall praying for death twice. There's a point when you're so exhausted from fear chemicals that you're like, yeah, this might as well happen. Bring it, Soggy. I did have a hard time prying myself out of that seat afterwards, though, and my mom says that when I got home, I had the classic thousand-yard stare. How was the movie?

"It was great," I said, and I meant it.

I've seen things that were objectively scarier (I watched much of The Haunting of Hill House from behind a pillow, to be honest), and it's not like I've never experienced fear in real life. But I respect when a movie that can make me feel so intensely, and there's something weirdly precious about the way horror is a safe roller coaster, as it's often been said. So I love telling the story about The Time The Ring Nearly Killed Me—a movie that actually made my body stop working—and I love thinking of how embedded in a specific time and place that movie was for me. The last gasp of VHS when the Cursed Videotape still seemed plausible; the way the internet was still wild and weird and free; where I was in my life, keeping up so avidly with all the movie news, and finding myself in such a little pool of darkness early one afternoon. It's the scariest movie I saw in a theater; that's the alchemy of circumstance.

#the ring #ringu #horror #first look on patreon #movies #long post #spooky season #halloween everyday #long post is long #gifs

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passions-and-pupils · 1 year ago

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This guy. This guy is proof that if you are passionate about something and you talk about it, it will be entertaining

I watched this guy talk about a series of movies that I have no interest in for an entire hour. I watched him go on a rant about the handling of a character I had never heard of in the remake of a game I had never played. It was still entertaining because it was genuine, because viewers feed off passionate, because this guy only seems to talk about things he likes even if those things have nothing to do with his channel. I could listen to him rant for hours about literally anything as long as he felt strongly about it, or at least seemed like it and honestly I don’t think that power is exclusive to Pastra

if you are passionate about something and you want to talk about it, do it in front of a camera and show me the video I will watch it while I draw. Who knows maybe I’ll even know what your talking about once in a blue moon.

#pastra #youtube #content creator #rant post #Rant to me please #dreams of an insomniac #commentary youtuber #gaming youtube #horror youtube

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medusas-daughter · 13 days ago

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When I think about it, Billy kinda gave the coven a canvas and the entire coven contributed to build the road we have at the end and I think that's kinda beautiful in a way.

Like .. Agatha had more control than the others and actually set up the rules because she had the knowledge that the road was being built by Billy's subconscious this entire time and because she co-wrote the Ballad in the first place but all of them contributed to it to some extent because Billy was soaking up everything all of them were saying.

Both because he is a telepath (so the road adds the knowledge of the other witches like alewife revenge) and because he agrees with them on what the road should be like: Lilia is the one who suggests they have to face theirs worst nightmares, Jen explains to Billy what a Green Witch does and that's how the last trial is about growth. The entire coven (except Agatha) agrees they can't cheat so they can't cheat and they all think the Green witch is indispensable (I think Jen is the one who says it first before the road).

Also Nicky is part of the creation of the road too without even being there !

Also the fact that Billy's subconsciously thought Agatha's worst nightmares was to put her in a 80s sleepover is kinda funny if I'm being honest.

The more I think about it, the more fun the twist become honestly.

I'm so sorry for the rant, I love your blog 💜

thank you so much for this please feel free to rant here anytime you want 💜

and you're so right they really did all contribute! even Mrs Hart contributed, she mentioned the old transportation system and the exit became an abandoned subway station

i think that's why Agatha panicked during the first trial and right before the last because she realized that she can't control every thing not even if she tries to manipulate him because he has his own beliefs and then he looks up to the other witches as well so they influence him just as much

Agatha's hallucination being the Darkhold in a baby craddle which has nothing to do with how Nicky died but is exacthy what Jen mentioned is also so brilliant, because he couldn't read Agatha's mind to figure out her worst nightmare so he just went with what Jen said

and putting Agatha, the most antisocial witch he's ever met, in a slumber party was hilarious he really said "punish Agatha" and meant it

it was so much fun rewatching after knowing the twist Lilia called the Road a death trap so every trial was a literal death trap Jen said the green witch is indispensable so when Rio leaves he says "we're right back at the beginning" and they immediately trip on their shoes right back at the beginning he says "I wish Lilia was here" and she just falls out the bookshelf like all these little moments became so much funnier poor guy was really making it up on the spot

and the way both Nicholas and Wanda were haunting the whole thing, Nicky with his song being the catalyst and Wanda with her magic creating it was so bittersweet

i'll admit when i first read this theory after like the first trial i hated it i thought it would be a cheap remake of "oh no a Maximoff is creating a fake reality again" but they managed to make it super fun and exciting and i love it now!

#agatha harkness #agatha all along #billy maximoff #lilia calderu #jennifer kale #rio vidal #nicholas scratch #wanda maximoff #anon #anon ask #medusasdaughter answers

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hotvintagepoll · 8 months ago

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Propaganda

Katharine Hepburn (Bringing Up Baby, The Philadelphia Story, The African Queen)—This woman. I have been obsessed with her for years. I know the urban legend is a popular one at this point of her walking around set in her underwear when her pants were stolen and she was left with only a skirt, but the pants thing is honestly enough for her to be the hottest in the room in my book. She refused to wear anything else at a time when the public in general and especially the studios did not like that. She was independent, stubborn, and so so very capable. Competency kink anyone? Also, if you want one final way that Katharine's entire life was saying "fuck you" to the establishment, it started young! Her mother took her to suffrage events, and she never got rid of that attitude of justice. I feel like I have barely scratched the surface of all the ways she was such a badass that I'm turning into a rambling mess instead.

Jessie Matthews (Evergreen, First a Girl, It's Love Again, Gangway)—known as “the dancing divinity”, jessie matthews was a british musical star of stage and screen in the 20s and 30s - if you're an enjoyer of lavish art deco musicals of the likes of fred and ginger, busby berkeley etc, definitely give her movies a try they are delightful! (tantalizingly there were multiple attempts made to pair her and fred together that never came to fruition - gaumont-british tried to get fred for evergreen and mgm wanted jessie for a damsel in distress.) and for the women in tuxedos enjoyers, her 1935 movie first a girl was the first english language remake of viktor und viktoria, famously later remade with julie andrews.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Katharine Hepburn propaganda:

I'm sure one million people will submit her as an iconic Hollywood star but that iconicness might lead people to forget just how insanely hot she was like she had it ALL she was skilled she was funny she was smart she was beautiful AND she was likely bisexual

The single word I would use to explain Katherine Hepburn's appeal is *range*. In her acting career, that meant covering all the ground between lush period dramas and the comedies she did with Carey Grant and Spencer Tracey. In terms of hotness, it meant an uncanny ability to bring anything from a Dietrich-esque androgyny to some of the best Classic Hollywood Glamour you will ever see.

Katharine hep was so cool. The VIBES, the INDEPENDENCE,,, living life on her own terms.

she just had this.... bearing to her, this power. she could be funny, even silly (like in bringing up baby) but also so regal and elegant. she was nobody's fool and dear GOD that's so hot

Fancam link

She’s not only stunningly gorgeous (those eyes that pierce your soul! a jawline you could cut glass with!) but her delivery and physical presence in roles gives off confidence and authority in such a sexy way (truly the biggest dick energy of Old Hollywood). Her fiery energy in The Philadelphia Story? Unmatched.

God she's. She's so hot y'all. She has the range!!!!! Funny and dramatic and lovely

She IS the transatlantic accent. Classically gorgeous and such a strong personality.

She's literally one of the funniest women to ever live! She goes shot for shot with Cary Grant in Philadelphia Story and we damn well love her for it! She's the most annoying creature to ever live in Bringing Up Baby but she's so insane and funny that we simply cannot help but fall in love with her (and root for her to give Grant an aneurysm!)

i know she's accounted for but i really want to be sure someone has submitted the scene in bringing up baby where she's pretending to be a gangster

youtube

She simply stuns onscreen; you cannot do anything but be captivated by her presence. Also a non-gender-conforming icon and mild tumblr celebrity by virtue of that one picture from The Warrior's Husband (stage play).

Katharine Hepburn was out here casually changing the lives of young butch lesbians with her gender swag! She wore pants even when people said she shouldn’t, she refused to marry or have kids, and she wore menswear in at LEAST one movie!

If I start thinking about her face for too long I will cry she is so so hot. Katherine is so charismatic and charming in everything she appears in - watch her adopt a leopard and fall in love with her. Also she has the biggest dick energy ever (she and her pal Lauren Bacall share that accolade). Also had an incredibly long and varied career from screw ball comedies to serious dramas - she’s a queen of the screen and I adore her.

Someone's got to mention it, but she's won the most Oscars out of any performer and is largely considered one of the greatest actresses ever. She's got an incredible voice, an incredible presence, and she absolutely steals every scene she's in. She was private person and deemed standoffish and unapproachable, but she was also profoundly concerned for people's rights and was an outspoken supporter of abortion access. Finally, the Katharine Hepburn slacks look is just iconic. I mean look at her.

(I hope someone else submits real propaganda but just in case they don't:) Cries. Screams. Wails. The woman who singlehandedly made me realize I was bi. A real "do i want to look like her. be her. or be with her.' crisis, where the answer was all three. Holy shit please all three.

Jessie Matthews:

Star of British 1930s stage and screen, she introduced classic songs by Noel Coward and Rogers and Hart to English audiences, and then played perky heroines, but today it’s her genderswapping role in First A Girl that probably gets most attention.

youtube

#katharine hepburn #jessie matthews #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 3 #Youtube

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frogchiro · 16 days ago

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I don’t see a lot of Krauser fans!!! I’d love to know what kind of thoughts you have on him. What type of lover is he? How would you meet him/how would he find you?

Hello nonnie!! You have no idea how happy I am to spread the love for my favorite major, you do not understand how obsessed and in love I am with that man an I'm determined to spread more love for this underrated glorious king </3

As for Krauser himself, not only is he criminally underrated but his character is very much overlooked, especially his trauma and motivations which led him to do what he did. Did he do bad things? Yes. Is he a villain? For some sure, I see him more like an antagonist. Does his past excuse what he did? No but I see where it came from.

Unfortunately we don't know anything really about his past but I think it's a big shame how his more recent past and present are overlooked :((

I honestly see Krauser as a very peculiar lover; he's still a hardass, he's gruff and growly, he has seen things during his years in the military but he's loyal down to the marrow of his bones and sooner hell would freeze over than he'd allow anything to happen to you.

Literally one of the reasons he became bad was because he went insane after he had to watch his entire unit get killed off (during Operation Javier in the remake) and the government whom he served loyally for many years just up and abandoned him in that jungle.

Plus I think that acts of service and touch would be his main love language. He doesn't seem like someone who would pour his heart out with dramatic poetry, his love is quiet but loud in its own way. Imagine Jack being so used to and honed for looking out for danger that it's basically a need for him to always have an eye on you, always has to make sure that you're there, safe, with him.

#kin speaks #asks #interactions #I have many thoughts as you can see #I could talk about this man for hours #resident evil 4 x reader #resident evil x reader #jack krauser x reader #krauser x reader #jack krauser x you #jack krauser #krauser #re4 krauser #major krauser

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rottenpumpkin13 · 10 months ago

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[Spoiler warning]

I have so many thoughts right now....We knew Sephiroth was good person before, but seeing him interact with other people in the demo, he had a sense of humor, was encouraging and HIS CLEAR DISDAIN FOR HOJO MY GOD. Him slashing the incubator tubes because he was against whatever the fuck Hojo was pulling spoke volumes of his character before the incident. And don't even get me started on the incident. The library scene did a fantastic job of showing why and how Sephiroth lost his mind. Honestly, with the shit he found out, who wouldn't?? That man was holed up in there for a week slowly losing touch with humanity as he found out that his entire life had been a lie. The Nibelheim fire was absolutely horrific and it did a great job at showing just how terrible of a tragedy it was. Sephiroth's cruelty and ruthlessness as he slaughtered people who were already suffering made me lose it. That man was pushed over the edge and be became a monster. And then there's the entire sequence of Cloud hyper-focused on looking for his mother and making sure she was alive. That made my heart ache, especially her last words to him (which we all know Sephiroth recites to Cloud when we first see him in Remake) UGH. This game will be the death of me. The 29th cannot come soon enough 😓

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #cloud strife #final fantasy vii rebirth #ff7 rebirth #ffvii rebirth #discussion

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ninelivesastrology · 24 days ago

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SATURN & MARS: The Astrology of Horror

Scream (1996), directed by Wes Craven

The horror genre is my favorite genre in media and within it are some of the best and honestly, extreme examples of the significations of Saturn, the Greater Malefic and Mars, the Lesser Malefic.

Saturn is the Greater Malefic, its nature is cold and dry. It joys in the 12th House. Saturn is the signifier of darkness and dark places, enclosed spaces, restriction, control, secrecy, isolation, illness and death, taboo...

Mars is the Lesser Malefic, it's nature being hot and dry. It joys in the 6th House, a cadent house. It rules aggression, fighting, conflict, injuries, blood, deception, lying, weapons but especially sharp objects...

Starting off with the Slasher who walked while everyone else ran, I'll start with Halloween (1978).

Michael Myers moves slow, a Saturnian signification, but he gets things done. Michael spends a lot of this movie stalking Laurie, a 12th House signification.

Halloween (1978), directed by John Carpenter

I also find that very act of masking to be Saturnian in nature because of Saturn's signification of secrecy and mystery, which is given to the 12th House.

Moving onto my favorite Slasher.

Scream is the ultimate Martian movie to me. The Scream franchise itself is a masterclass in homage to so many horror films before it, but also in the concept of betrayal, something Mars rules. Its tagline is, "It's always someone you know." And in the history of this franchise, the audience had so much anticipation in finding out who Ghostface was in each entry, a true Saturn-Mars mix of mystery and bloodshed.

Scream (2022), directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Ghostface, like many other Slashers, wields a knife, but isn't exempt to using other weapons, such as guns. Mars rules all weapons.

One of my favorite creature features is Alien (1979). I have not seen Romulus! The tagline, "In space, no one can hear you scream."

One of the lesser known significations of the 12th House is travel, so get this, you're on a ship, isolated from everyone, in the middle of deep space while you and your crew members are being hunted by a large creature. Usually, the 12th House rules large animals and I would like to gently debate that the 12th House rules large, foreign creatures as well.

The Xenomorph is the ultimate monster, Saturnian by its appearance: Black. In addition, the 12th House is before birth and I find it funny how the Xenomorph impregnates it's prey, only for it to burst out in the most Martian way.

Alien (1979), directed by Ridley Scott

Found footage itself is especially Saturnian, since the 12th House rules missing people. I would go even farther to say that the 12th House rules the unseen. So the Paranormal is especially Saturnian in nature, given its cold and dry nature. Saturn is the absence of life and what persists beyond it.

The Blair Witch Project (1999), directed by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez

Onto another subgenre, one of my favorites, pestilence and death.

Saturn rules death and Mars signifies pestilence and the survival of said pestilence. Most famously, two of my favorite survival horror franchises are Resident Evil and The Last of Us. Resident Evil's entire premise of infection is centered around bioterrorism, starting with the corrupt Saturnian company named Umbrella.

Resident Evil is infamous for its body horror. In this instance, Mars rules body horror due to the painful injuries sustained from the transformation.

Resident Evil 4 Remake (2023)

In The Last of Us, we follow a man who survived the Outbreak, Joel Miller and a young girl named Ellie Williams who survived being bitten and is found to be immune. I find immunity to be Saturnian because your body is suppressing or resisting the infection. The infection itself is Martian as the 6th House rules illnesses.

The Last of Us Part I (2022)

The Cordyceps virus is very Saturn-Mars, given that the fungus attaches itself to the brain and controls it, causing the Infected to sustain its survival aggressively.

The Last of Us Part II (2020)

Survival itself is Martian in nature. Scarcity, a notable Saturnian feature of the Last of Us' intense and highest difficulty, GROUNDED, makes this a unique entry into the survival horror genre across all media. If you know, you know, the Last of Us has a theme of betrayal running through it and with that betrayal eventually comes consequences. Saturn and Mars.

I wanna talk about the Final Girls for a second. We love them. We root for them. We are them. I consider Final Girls to be obviously Venusian, given that the two domiciles of Venus, Taurus and Libra, are the detriment of Mars. Venus finds herself in trouble in the signs Mars rules, Scorpio and Aries.

In traditional astrology, detriment is considered to be the toughest placement for a planet considering it is the opposite of its home, facing conditions it is not equipped for. Certainly, the worst place and the worst time which is a Final Girl thing. Despite this, they still persevere.

Jennifer's Body (2009), directed by Karyn Kusama

If you loved this post and would like to support me as I am a Saturn Return Mommy, you can reblog this post and/or send me a tip on CashApp or purchase a $20 horary reading if you want to know about your life, click this for more details!

Happy Halloween and be safe!

Oh and what's your favorite scary movie? *wink wink*

—Nine

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always-a-king-or-queen · 1 year ago

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there are literally so many reasons why we don't need a third Narnia adaptation

first of all, while they might not be the most accurate, the Disney movies are actually so good and, in my opinion, still manage to capture the heart and soul of the series and what it's truly about. The characters are each perfectly portrayed; the Pevensies act like actual siblings and yet love each other dearly and would die for each other even through all the petty arguments; the music creates perfect atmosphere and emotion and never fails to make me tear up or get shivers down my spine; and the CGI is honestly just absolutely stunning.

I really do not feel like we need another adaptation by Netflix.

Especially not through Netflix.

Netflix has already been known to mess up so many shows and movies by completely changing the source material or adding in unnecessary things that completely take away from the purpose of the story. I can already see them warping Narnia into something that barely even resembles the books, that strips it of its purpose and simply makes it about a fantasy world, nothing more. I've already seen posts saying that the new movies just can't end the way the books end, that heaven must be explained away, that Susan never forgets and falls down a dark path, that the faith aspect must be taken out so as not to offend new viewers.

Here's the thing.

If you take faith out of Narnia, you remove the very heart of the series. you remove the entire purpose. Because Narnia is entirely about faith, and trust, and Someone greater than yourself who sacrifices everything to save your own traitorous soul. the Disney movies did not shy away from portraying this faith as openly as possible. if anyone was offended, I've never seen proof. I have seen many nonbelievers talk about how much they were affected by Aslan's death, which goes to show that you simply don't have to be Christian to understand what Narnia is about, and to love and enjoy it.

So if these new remakes remove the faith aspect, then what is the point? four siblings go to a magical land and save it from a witch and befriend a talking lion with nothing special about him and live there as kings and queens and return home and live happily ever after? there is no sacrifice, there is no "he's not tame, but he is good," there is no creation, there is no redemption, there is no last battle, there is no "in your world, I have another name", there is no sister straying down a dark path because she has forgotten how to hope, and then returning because her story is unfinished and the road to heaven is paved with flowers that symbolize her name.

so then, what are you left with? Aslan is just a talking lion, nothing more. the stone table never cracks, the sun never rises. "That by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there" is forgotten entirely, because why would Aslan exist in our world if he is merely a talking lion in Narnia? Aslan's country is changed to be something else, and there is nothing about how Aslan suddenly no longer looks like a lion, and how the things that happened after are more great and beautiful than can be described. Edmund's life is never threatened because of his traitorous deeds; Aslan never offers his own life in place of a guilty boy, is never killed, is never resurrected.

the very core of Narnia is removed, and what you are left with is emptiness.

sure, it might make for a good fantasy story nonetheless. you might still have sweeping views and epic music and an intriguing plotline, but something will always feel like it is missing. like there is an empty hole, desperately needing to be filled.

of course, I don't know that all of that will happen; it's just speculation at this point. But I am fairly sure that it is safe to predict these upcoming movies as such. I highly doubt the producers will want to include the faith that shapes Narnia, because according to them, having a faith aspect means less viewers since too many people would be offended.

but if only they would look at the already wonderful existing adaptations, they would know that is simply not the case.

#i can already see cs lewis turning in his grave #this really just feels like another tired live action remake tbh #netflix keep ur shabby hands off of my beloveds or i will beat u with a broom #ANYWAY I AM ALSO TERRIFIED OF WHO IS GOING TO PLAY THE PEVENSIES #SKANDAR AND WILLIAM AND GEORGIE AND ANNA WERE ALREADY PERFECT PLS LEAVE MY CHILDREN ALONE #also so help me if people like these new movies better #when the disney ones are perfection imo even tho they're not fully accurate #and i would like to see them try to beat the music. i would like to see them try.#narnia netflix #netflix narnia #narnia #the chronicles of narnia #aslan #susan pevensie #lucy pevensie #edmund pevensie #peter pevensie #cs lewis #ramblings from the void

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hyunfilms · 10 months ago

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blue side of the sky (lmh) | twenty.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.5k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, time jump!, surprise bday celebration for jisung, alcohol consumption/intoxication, just good times and good vibes honestly, san & minho have a moment, mentions of a death anniversary, flashback scene towards the end

▹ A YEAR AND A HALF LATER ..

"Hey." You pick up the phone as Chan continues to drive off to the store. "Yeah, I'm getting them with Chan right now— you have the cake ready, right?— Minho, what do you mean you don't know if it's ready?"

"What?" Chan mouths out while letting out a small chuckle in the driver's seat. You give him a look before shrugging.

"I mean, as long as it looks good and it's edible? Ji will love it either way— we don't really have time to remake it— mm, okay—yeah, I'll try— mmkay." Chan continues to eavesdrop on the conversation until you finally end the call and let out a sigh.

"What happened this time?"

"Minho is being too much of a perfectionist over his cake. It's done but he doesn't like the way it turned out. He's contemplating on re-doing the whole thing."

"Uh." Chan looks at the clock on the dashboard. "He definitely needs to do that now or else he won't make it in time for the surprise."

"I told him I'm sure it'll be fine, but he won't let it go." You shake his head. "I guess if he really wants to make it work, he will."

"What's new? I'm not even surprised he's doing this." Chan laughs as he pulls into the store's lot. Today was Jisung's birthday, and you and your friends decided to throw him a surprise party at a nearby restaurant and bar. Many people were invited, including his parents, Yuna and Yeong-Su, close coworkers, JJ, San and their friends. All in all, it was supposed to be a big gathering to celebrate your bestfriend's birthday.

Tonight, it was all about good people, good vibes and a good times.

Seungmin had lied and told Jisung he needed his help with an urgent project at work— dragging him to the office even though Ji protested and whined about it being his birthday. Though, in true Jisung form, when a friend calls for help, he goes. So, Seungmin is currently keeping him at the office until everyone arrives and everything is set up. What project Seungmin ended up getting Jisung wrapped into, you weren't sure.

As long as it worked.

Right now, you and Chan were headed to the store to pick up the balloons and decorations, while Minho was at the café working on perfecting Jisung's cake. You've already come to know how much of a perfectionist Minho is, especially with his craft. You've seen the little tantrums he's pulled and the things he does when he isn't satisfied with his work. You aren't entirely surprised he's scraping the whole thing right before the party— you are more worried about whether he'll make it in time or not.

"I guess if all else fails, we can just have Seungmin keep him at the office until it's ready?"

"Yeah. But, he's gonna get suspicious."

"He'll be alright." You laugh a bit. Once you and Chan arrive at the shop, you gather the balloons that you've ordered at the front— Chan carefully holding the large order of balloons, while you help the staff member who is assisting you with carrying the stands you custom-ordered to go with Jisung's birthday backdrop. Loading the balloons into your uncle's old van was a challenge, but you shared a few laughs with Chan when the both of you tried adjusting the balloons in a certain position— popping a few in the middle of doing so.

"I mean, it honestly doesn't even look like we lost a few." Chan steps back to look at the balloons and you nod.

"You're right. It'll be fine." You shrug it off. "The backdrop will be the center of attention anyway." You hop into the car, Chan wasting no time to make his way over to the restaurant.

"When did you make those?"

"The backdrop and cut outs?" You look at him. "A few days ago. With my uncle's help."

"They're really nice."

"Want me to make some for your birthday?"

"Please?" You laugh and nod.

"Okay, Channie."

"Your uncle's van is bringing back memories. I didn't realize he still had it."

"Oh yeah, he refuses to sell it. Says it's still in really good shape and he could keep it around in case of emergency."

"Good times." Chan quickly looks over at you before shifting his attention back to the road. "Remember when Jisung told you about the times you went home for the weekend, and we used to come down and bother you?" You chuckle.

"Yes."

"We'd do it to see you, don't get us wrong. But we knew your uncle would take us to get ice cream at the shop and cook for us. His cooking is amazing. Can't ever turn that down for the school's food." He does a slight head tilt as he pulls into the restaurant's lot. "Wish we could go back to the good ol' days, you know? Simple times."

"You're telling me."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How have you been feeling lately? If you don't wanna answer, that's totally fine too. You can tell me to fuck off and I won't feel offended." You chuckle.

"Good. Really good." Chan smiles as he turns down the street, the restaurant coming into view in the distance.

"Yeah? I'm glad."

"Mhm. I just feel.. happier."

"As you should." He clears his throat. "Can I ask you something else? You can really tell me to fuck off with this one if you need to." You laugh and shake your head.

"Try me."

"How do you feel about Minho after all this time has passed?"

"Hm." You hum. "I feel.. relaxed." You look at Chan. "It doesn't feel like something is weighing down on my shoulders anymore, especially since I've gotten my chance to take everything in and slowly make peace with it."

"That's good. I'm glad."

"Mmyeah. But, you know, I think we're perfect the way we are." You shrug. "I don't wanna rush or ruin anything. We just feel better letting things be as they should be. He feels like my bestfriend again.

"I get that. I'm happy you feel that way, Y/N."

"I am too." You say. He turns into the lot of the restaurant, pulling up to the entrance before putting on the hazard lights.

"Alright, well. Let me run in and let them know we're just gonna unload everything real quick." You nod, unbuckling your seatbelt when Chan runs inside the restaurant to give them a heads up.

You begin to unload most of the decorations and balloons, leaving heavier items for Chan to haul upstairs to the room you and your friends reserved. The room could sit a good amount of people if necessary, a huge tv screwed onto the back wall for all your karaoke needs. Though tonight was going to be a good group, it still gave you enough room to decorate off to the side. Once everything had been moved from the van to the room, you begin to rearrange things; having Chan help move the tables and backdrop to your liking while setting up the balloons alongside of him. By the time you finish, Yuna and Yeong-Su come strolling in, setting their things on one of the tables.

"I'm here! What can I help with?" Yuna smiles, making you squeal as you hug her and Yeong-Su tightly.

"Might need help adding these in between the balloons." You hand her some decorations and she happily takes it. "Thank you."

"Anything for you! This looks amazing already, Jisung is so lucky to have you guys. For real." You and Chan laugh and nod in agreement.

Sooner or later, more people begin to trickle in— starting with Jisung's parents, some of Jisung's close coworkers, San and JJ's friends, then Minho and JJ. Uncle Adrian shoots you a text to let you know that he'll stop by a bit after he finishes up with work, while Seungmin asks if everyone is ready.

"I think Seungmin is texting our separate group chat." Minho says, making sure the cake is sitting perfectly in the middle of the dessert table.

"I got it." You pull out your phone.

seungmin: everyone there? i'm running out of things to stall him with 😞 plus, he's working my last nerve

you: haha yes, everyone's here. you can come now!

seungmin: sweet. 15 mins tops.

So, all of you continue to hang out and chat around until Seungmin finally texts that he's just parked and about to head upstairs with Jisung. The room gets incredibly quiet, everyone afraid to take a breath as you all wait for Jisung to step through the room. You fiddle with your fingers when you hear footsteps getting a louder right outside in the hallway— Jisung immediately sliding the door open, eyes wide while he screams in fear.

"Surprise! Happy birthday!" Everyone yells loudly in their own way.

"What the fuck!" He screams, almost tripping and twisting his ankle when he steps back. "Ouch, fuck!" He continues to freak out, his eyes bulging out of its sockets. You laugh when you realize Ji is trying to make sense of what's happening, his expression mixed with utter confusion. "What is this?"

"Your birthday celebration, what do you mean?" You come to him and give him a hug, gently rubbing his back before pushing him forward into the room.

"All for me?" He questions even though he's already greeting his family and friends around the room.

"Yes!" You laugh while he points at the backdrop and balloons.

"Mine too?" You nod before Jisung points to the cake and looks at Minho. "You made that for me?"

"Yeah. Let me know which card I can charge it to." You playfully hit Minho on the chest and he laughs. "I'm kidding! Yes, I made that for you. I put my soul into that, so I hope you like it." Jisung smiles.

"He actually.. re-did the cake because he didn't like how the first one turned out this morning." You say. Jisung pulls the both of you in a tight hug.

"You guys are the best." He pulls back before reaching over for Seungmin and Chan again.

"You're welcome, pachi."

"Let's eat!" Chan rubs his tummy. "I'm hungry. Plus, we have a whole night of karaoke ahead of us."

"Sick! You're right." Jisung plops on a chair next to his family members. "I could eat."

The staff members are off to the side, ready to take orders from the separate tables. Once everyone settles, they start going around to begin with drink orders— many ordering bottles of soju and beer to get to a good level tonight. You sit in between Chan and Minho, going through the menu as you voice out what you want to Chan. He takes charge of ordering on behalf of the table, making sure every bit of Jisung's wishes are included. As soon as the alcohol and appetizers come out, everyone wastes no time getting started and digging in. Mid-way through, Jisung stands from his seat while obnoxiously tapping away at his glass— calling for everyone's attention in the room.

"Hey! One second, please?" He says loudly. "I just wanna say a few things!"

"Boo!" Seungmin teases, making Chan nudge him to be quiet.

"Yeah, whatever." Jisung flips off Seungmin, his mom tugging on the hem of his shirt as a way to silently scold him. "He did it first!" Seungmin laughs. "Anyway, I just wanna say thank you to everyone for coming out tonight to celebrate my birthday with me." He turns to you, Minho, Chan and Seungmin. "And a big thanks to my bestfriends for planning and getting this whole thing together. Really have so much love for you guys. Through thick and thin." He raises his shot glass full of soju up.

"Happy birthday, Ji." Minho is the first to break the silence and raise his glass, everyone else chiming in afterwards with a loud 'cheers!' echoing in the room.

It's not long before everyone is grubbing down, with lots of good food to go around. Uncle Adrian finally arrives, taking his seat next to Yeong-su and Minho. Minho helps serve you some food from time to time, leaning over to ask you if you need anything. Everyone seems to be tipsy while enjoying their food, and you're happy to see that Jisung is in good spirits.

That's all you wanted.

When dinner is over, the staff quickly cleans up while the group takes pictures near the backdrop and Minho cuts the cake into even pieces. You all loudly sing happy birthday to Jisung and cause a racket before Minho offers cake slices— shyly brushing off the compliments he gets even though his ears turn a bright red.

Finally, karaoke kicks off with a loud and cheerful introduction song from Jisung and Chan. Everyone has continued to drink throughout the night [besides the designated drivers], leaving most to be drunk. For the most part, everything is fun. Lively. Entertaining.

Happy.

And it takes you a moment to fully take it in, to take everything in. Uncle Adrian is enjoying himself with Jisung's parents. Your bestfriends are singing along and supporting each other on the mic. It's exactly how you pictured this night to turn out.

All good vibes.

Like there isn't a cloud in sight, like there isn't a sudden storm threatening to take over.

Finally, it all feels genuinely good.

Real.

And the thought is enough to overwhelm you because boy, have you been waiting for this moment; for the universe to give you some kind of confirmation that things will be okay from here on out. You silently excuse yourself and slip out of the room, heading straight for the rooftop patio that the restaurant gives its customers access to enjoy. You slowly breathe in the air and take steps to the railing, letting your hands hang loosely over the edge as you take in the view.

Everything felt so overwhelmingly beautiful tonight, and for some reason, it makes you long for more comfort, more love. It makes you long for your mother because you wish she could be here to see you and your friends, to see how far you've come.

You miss her, and it's the last piece left that could finally close this chapter for good and push you forward into the next part of your life.

"W-where's Y/N?" Minho hiccups, downing the last of his beer.

"I'm not sure, she walked out not too long ago, but I assumed she was going to the bathroom." Seungmin looks at the doorway. "Do you want me to find her?"

"It's good. I'll go look."

"Are you okay to?" Seungmin chuckles at how tipsy Minho is.

"Yeah, I'm good." He gives Seungmin a pursed smile before heading outside, exploring the first floor from the second floor. He doesn't see you in general, main area of the restaurant, and he's not sure why you would be there. He takes another path towards the rooftop patio.

To his relief, that's where he finds you.

You're peacefully standing at the railing, looking at the city view under the night sky. You look so content and peaceful that Minho isn't sure if he even wants to bother you. But, before he can even think twice, he finds himself taking the steps over— already eager to make sure that you're doing okay.

"Hey. You okay?" Minho comes to your side as you hang over the balcony railing with everyone having fun in the room below you.

"Yeah." You look at him with a small smile before returning your attention to the view. You can somewhat hear the muffled sounds of everyone singing loudly together to the karaoke downstairs, surely with cups in hand while they sip in between verses.

"You don't wanna sing?" Minho looks at you with hooded lids, clearly somewhat intoxicated from the alcohol they've downed in the past hours.

"Maybe later. Why don't you sing? You have a voice."

"I'm shy." You chuckle and sip on your soda. "I've been meaning to come out here to enjoy the view."

"Mm, it really is nice, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. It's perfect tonight, too. Barely any clouds in sight."

"You're not cold?"

"No, I'm alright." You chuckle. "How are you doing there, champ?"

"I'm a few drinks in and pretty tipsy, but we're good."

"Good thing JJ's here, huh?"

"Mhm. Thank god." You let out a small giggle before looking back out at the view. It's quiet for a minute, but it's a comfortable silence. And it feels nice to be this way around Minho again. It took some time for you to get used to things after everything happened, but Minho never pressured you and let you gradually come back on your own terms, at your own comfort. He, of course, continued to keep a good distance. Though, it has been hard for him to. He still gets sudden urges to brush the hair away from your face, to swing his arm around your shoulder, to kiss you on the forehead.

But, he lets it pass. Because after all the fuck-ups he's made, after all the shit he's put you and your friends through, he wants to take this chance to show you better.

To be your bestfriend above anything.

To prioritize you and stop neglecting you, your needs.

To bring back the gold that you hold in your eyes.

"Minho."

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Actually, I think this might be the wrong time to do this." You look at him and smirk. "You're tipsy."

"Kinda, yeah." You snort. "But, try me."

"I wanna see my mom." Minho slowly nods and looks out at the view. "Her death anniversary is coming up, and I wanna see her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am." You give him a tiny, pursed smile. "I'm ready. Do you think you can bring me to her?"

"Yeah." He responds softly. "We can go. Just let me know if you're sure."

"There's something else."

"Hm?"

"I think—" You let out a shaky breath. "I think I wanna see my childhood home, too."

"Oh." Minho looks at you. "Are you 100% sure about that?"

"It'll help give me closure." He nods. "I guess? I see the pictures but I can't help but continue to wonder what life was really like in that home. I wish I could remember."

"I understand." Minho clears his throat. "Mm, yeah. I can do that for you."

"Really?"

"Mhm." He lets out a small sigh. "Just promise me you'll be okay?"

"I will be. I need to do this and just.. move on."

"Okay." Minho gently nudges you with a small smile. "I know it isn't too cold, and it's super nice to be away from loud, drunk people." You chuckle and shake your head. "But, do you wanna head in? I'm sure Jisung, Chan and Seungmin are looking for you."

"Yeah, we can head in." Minho taps the railing. Before he could fully turn around, you place your hand on his arm— gently forcing him to stop in his tracks. "Wait, Minho."

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"It is. But, I just wanna say thank you. For agreeing to take me."

"Y/N, it's not a problem. I'll do anything for you, whatever it is." You wrap your arms around his neck to give him a tight, meaningful hug. You breathe in his scent, taking in every bit of him, when he wraps his arms around your waist and gives you a gentle squeeze.

"I appreciate it a lot." You say softly before pulling away. You give him a tiny smile with a curt nod before heading back towards the karaoke room— Minho trailing behind you with his hands dug deep into his pockets. You take another pause before turning back to him, noticing that Minho's eyes have never left you. "You know, tonight went really well. I think we make a good team." Minho licks at his lips.

"Y-yeah." He nods. "Yeah, we do. We always do." Suddenly, you hear someone else come up to the patio, causing you to shift your attention towards the stairs. San stands there, awkwardly cracking his knuckles as he lets out a small chuckle.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I just wanted to see if you were okay, plus get some air." He points up.

"I'm good. Thanks, Sannie." You give him a tiny, toothless smile. "We were heading back inside—"

"Actually, Y/N you can head in first. I'll meet you there." Minho says, hands still in his pockets, eyes landing on San.

"O-oh, okay. I'll see you guys in there then." San nods, walking towards the railing to look at the view. Minho follows and stands next to him, arms lazily resting on the bar as well. It's silent for awhile, the both of them taking in the city lights, the distant sounds of car horns and the train passing by, the planes flying up ahead. San really just needed a breather, but if Minho wanted to talk, he'd let it happen.

After all, they haven't really done so after everything. Not that either of them owed it to each other, but the last thing San wants is for Minho to think there's bad blood or that he has something against him. He doesn't.

And Minho doesn't either.

"If you keep heading down this street and turn at that corner, there's this really good restaurant that serves tteokbokki. It's a small place, but they sell a huge serving for cheap. It's an old couple that runs the place. We used to go there a lot with Uncle Adrian." Minho randomly says to break the silence.

"I always appreciate a good tteokbokki spot."

"They told me Y/N's mom used to take her there often, especially to cheer her up when she had a bad day. It was like their tradition, so Uncle Adrian kept it alive after she passed." Minho lets out a small breath, rubbing his hands together. "Y/N misses her."

"Is everything okay?" San asks.

"Mm, yeah."

"With Y/N?"

"I think so. She just told me she wants to see her mom and her childhood home."

"Maybe she's finally ready."

"Her mom's anniversary is coming up. She asked me to take her."

"That's good. At least you can be there with her." San turns to him. "How are things between the both of you, by the way?"

"We're good." Minho looks down at his hands before returning his attention to San. "We're definitely better than before, and the time has been good to us. Especially her."

"It seems like things are more peaceful for her."

"Yeah, and I don't want to ruin that. I think I've done enough to her." Minho shakes his head a bit, moreso an action directed towards himself. "I just want her to be genuinely happy. That's all I care about."

"Despite everything that's happened, I know she cares about you a lot, and I know she cherishes the good moments you had together."

"I owe it to you."

"Me?" San points to himself and Minho lets out a small chuckle.

"I just.. never got to say thank you. You know? For being there for her when I wasn't. For helping take care of her."

"You don't have to thank me."

"I do, and I genuinely want to. Having you close helped her a lot. I know she cares about you, too." San gives him a small smile before looking out at the view. "I've just been wanting to tell you that. I just wasn't sure how or when."

"All good. I'm glad you guys are doing better. That's all I wanted for you guys, too. Whatever is meant to happen in the future, just know she wouldn't wanna do it without you by her side." Minho returns the small smile.

"Anyway. Should we head back inside? The party's probably dying without us."

"You're right." San laughs as he walks alongside of him.

Upon entering earlier, you noticed that much hasn't changed since you stepped out to take a breather. Jisung drunkly threw an arm around you as he continued to sing loudly into the mic, eventually shoving it your way for you to take your turn. You tried to shake your head and crawl your way out of it, but Jisung guilt-tripped you by telling you he needed you to sing a song before the night ended and that you needed to do this for his birthday. You end up doing a little duet with Seungmin before passing the mic over to Chan to take over. Eventually, both San and Minho walk back in to join the party; singing along to the current song playing. When you glance at Minho happily singing along into the mic that has now landed in his hands, you give him a smile; happy to finally feel good around him after the things that have happened.

Tonight, you'll continue to enjoy yourself around your friends and good company.

Tonight, things feel perfect.

Tonight, things feel like the old times Jisung would talk about.

At least, you could give him that for his birthday.

☁︎ FLASHBACK | FRESHMAN YEAR IN COLLEGE

"Babe, hurry! He's gonna wake up." You whisper harshly as Minho struggles to light the last candle on Jisung's cake.

"He's gonna wake up? Are you serious?" You laugh seeing Minho's face.

"Okay, you're right. But, still!"

"Sometimes he doesn't even move at all when I come in to wake him up, and it kinda scares me." Seungmin whispers as Minho finally lights the last candle before carefully scooping it into his hands. The three of you laugh, trying to hold it in to prevent any excess noise. "Okay, let's go." Chan leads the way into Jisung and Minho's dorm suite, holding the door open for him with a balloon in the other hand. You and your friends walk up to the edge of Jisung's bed, finding your positions as soon as the clock hits midnight.

"Happy birthday Pachi!" You yell, the boys singing happy birthday next to you. Jisung shoots up from his bed, hair messy and all.

"What the fuck is happening?" He mumbles, voice husky as he's pulled straight from his sleep.

"It's your birthday, punk! Make a wish!" Chan says, all of you cheering him on while he rubs his eyes.

"So loud. I can't even see." He struggles to open his eyes.

"Make a wish!" You edge the cake closer to him, waiting for Jisung to make his wish and finally blow out his candles. You clap and cheer for him, continuing to sing him happy birthday even as he sleepily bounces along in his bed. Minho sets the cake aside and starts to cut it with a plastic knife, while Seungmin turns on the bathroom light to illuminate part of the room just enough for everyone to see what they're doing. Minho hands everyone a small slice— Chan eating on the edge of Jisung's bed, Seungmin sitting on Minho's desk chair, and Minho on Jisung's desk chair while you sit on his lap.

"Thanks guys." Jisung finishes his cake, hair still messy and all over the place. "Seriously, best birthday so far."

"What'd you wish for?" Seungmin asks, making Jisung glare at him.

"Why on earth would I tell you that?" Jisung laughs.

"We're friends, I'm sure it'll come true no matter what."

"Hm." Jisung pouts a bit. "I just want us to be friends for as long as we possibly can."

"Is that what you wished for?"

"Yes." Chan laughs.

"Swear?"

"Yes, I mean it!"

"Liar. That's a no brainer."

"I really do want us to be friends for a long time. I appreciate you guys more than anything."

"Aw, Ji. Of course." You pinch his cheek. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you." He smiles at you and Minho before taking a quick swig of water. "Can I get back to sleep now? We can do whatever later on, just wanna sleep a bit more though." You laugh and nod, taking some foil to wrap around the cake.

"Okay, birthday boy. But, we'll be back later to celebrate some more." Jisung is already laying back down at this point, so he throws a thumbs up in the air. Chan and Seungmin quietly bid their farewell's and goodnight's before walking back to their room. After you clean up around Jisung's area, you step outside of the room with the cake in your hands while Minho zips up his jacket and shuts their door close.

"I'll walk you back to your room."

"Thank you." You smile at him. "We make a pretty good team, don't we?" You playfully pinch his cheek.

"Yeah, we do."

☁︎ END

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starryalpacasstuff · 9 months ago

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Indian BL? FROM 2017????

There's an Indian BL from 2017 that I just watched. And I have incoherent thoughts

Before I continue, massive thanks to my bestie @anixknowsnothin for telling me about this show and proofreading the post for me. You don't even watch bl so I have no idea how you found this, but I'm incredibly grateful nonetheless

Here's the link to where I watched the show from, there's a glitch in the first episode subs where the subs seem to be from another show entirely, but it's only for the first ep and about 50% of the dialogue is in English anyways, so it shouldn't be hard to follow.(My ask box is also always open if there's a specific dialogue/scene in Hindi that you want the translation of)

Edit: The link seems to be region locked, so to watch it you can use a vpn and set your region to India, otherwise the episodes are available on youtube, albeit without subs

Note:- this post is going to have a few mild spoilers throughout, but I'll flag major spoilers in red

It's no secret that India is fairly behind when it comes to queer love shows if we compare it to other Asian countries. While it has a handful of great queer shows and movies, it's still quite a small quantity. Additionally, before this, I'd never watched an Indian show that felt like I was watching a bl (if you have recs, please send them my way!!). I'm not going to get into the technicalities of what feels like a bl and doesn't, because honestly, I'm not completely sure myself. For now, I'm just going based off of vibes and feelings, and this show felt like a bl through and through.

Titled 'Romil and Jugal' after its main characters, the story is a modern, desi, bl remake of the classic story...

Romeo and Juliet

Well, Bad Buddy was the first Thai bl I ever watched, so Romil and Jugal being the first Indian BL I watched just feels right, no?

I didn't actually know that the story was based off of Romeo and Juliet till the second episode, because I didn't bother looking for a synopsis, and jumped right in. However, it's links to Romeo and Juliet quickly became apparent, around the same time I started to see similarities between this show and Bad Buddy. I also did not know that this show came out in 2017 before I googled it, having already watched the entire thing, which was a pretty huge shock, because this BL is progressive by 2024 India standards.

Alright, enough of my rambling. Here's a synopsis of the show in case you haven't heard of it. (I couldn't find an official one, so I did my best to write a spoiler free synopsis)

Ramya happens to start talking to a slightly older woman at an airport, who believes that there is no romance in the younger generation. To prove her wrong, Ramya decides to tell the older woman her brother's love story. The story from the past is shown to us as Ramya narrates it to the woman in the present. Jugal is a closeted 19-year-old who lives with his parents. One day, a family moves into the house next door, and Jugal immediately falls for the son, Romil. The two of them attend the same college, and eventually become friends. The two of them eventually get together, but have to face the challenges of a homophobic society and having parents that hate each other.

I was a little skeptical of the show going in, but the show surpassed all of my expectations in the best way possible. It's no masterpiece, and it has its flaws, but it was far better than what I expected. It had both comical elements and darker themes, and it did not shy away from exploring the darker themes at all. Oh, and it has a few musical numbers. What did you expect? This is India after all.

The show is 10 episodes long, with 20 minutes per episode, and so it does unfortunately fall into some of the pitfalls that shorter shows tend to fall into, namely underdeveloped relationships and rushed endings. I did end up feeling a little bit like it didn't make sense for the pair to sacrifice and suffer as much as they did because they hadn't known each other for very long, and I felt like they should have been given more time to fall in love with each other. But it also could be argued that the show stays true to the play, and Romil and Jugal are dumb teenagers who make mistakes and stick with each other through them. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.

One thing that I loved the show for was that it showed us that the relationship is not all sunshine and rainbows. They argue, they break up, they get back together, and they do argue even after that. But every time, they eventually work through the issue and reconcile. The show even depicts Romil dealing with internalized homophobia and struggling to reconcile with the fact that he will never be who his family wants him to be. Although I do wish they'd have had more time to explore this, I'd say it was decently depicted and handled. The show really delves into how children are forced to uphold their family's wishes and are constantly put under pressure to make them proud. Although it clearly affects both of them, it's more obvious with Romil, who is expected by his family to date and marry the daughter of his father's boss, whom they think he is dating. There's a metaphor along this theme too, where Romil pretends to like the mango shake that his mom has been making for him since he was a kid, even though he hates it, and when he tries to tell her, he has to act like it was a joke to spare her feelings. The show also goes into the communal mindset of basing your actions off "what will people think?", and you can see how a lot of the characters' actions throughout the show are haunted by this question. Some of Romil and Jugal's earlier disagreements are due to this very mindset.

The show also very candidly depicts the extreme homophobia of society in India. Romil and Jugal had to constantly hide who they were, always having to keep up a mask and I felt that reach somewhere deep inside me. When the pair come out, the show really shows how ugly homophobia can be in India. Their parents immediately disown them. They're mocked in college and wrongfully suspended for a fight that was provoked by other students. Very, very few people stand with them, and the pair very quickly realize that now that they are out, they simply cannot live in the city anymore. So with the help of Jugal's best friend and her mother, they flee to Mumbai, where they get jobs and live as paying guests with a friend of the aforementioned mother. But, even in Mumbai, the masks stay up. They have to act like cousins, for fear of being persecuted. The series depicted the worst-case scenario that so many of us live in fear of, so watching it was something of a cathartic experience for me.

Another thing that the show did quite well is showing how different people and their mindsets can be. Jugal's best friend, Ahalya, and her mom are very supportive, and they help the pair out quite a bit. Ahalya's mother provided a safe house for the pair and helped them find a fresh start. Meanwhile, Romil and Jugal's parents are incredibly homophobic. There was a scene that really stuck with me, (mild spoiler ahead, skip to the last sentence of the paragraph) where Ahalya's mother came across Jugal's mother, who prided herself on being educated and well-read, searching up how to cure homosexuality. Ahalya's mother then tells her off for calling herself educated yet believing that homosexuality is an illness. It is so important to me that the show depicted both the violent homophobia that permeates Indian society and the surprising, warm acceptance that one can find.

One final thing that I loved about this show so, so much is just how authentically Indian it feels. Asian cultures share a lot in common, but they also have their differences, so seeing a show where I can imagine encountering the characters in real life is really amazing. Rather than something big, it was little things sprinkled throughout the story that warmed my heart. The story felt like something I could hear the local aunties gossiping about. The way it depicts queerness in India hits incredibly close to home.

One thing I've learned watching Asian bls is that the ending of a show can make it or break it, but with this one, I'm stuck. The best way I can describe the ending is absolutely insane and incredibly Bollywood.

I believe this show was supposed to get a second season because the last two minutes of the show leave us with a massive cliffhanger. Now, it's been 7 years, so a second season is unlikely, so I'm simply pretending that the last two minutes of the show never happened. But the ending has so much more to it than just this (Major spoilers for the ending up ahead. I mean it when I say major, this is like going into Bad Buddy knowing that they're going to trick their parents in the end).

About halfway through the show, I remembered what play it was based upon and realized that there was a very real possibility that Romil and Jugal would die. The first half of the last episode leads up to this, telling us that they died when reconciling after an argument in the middle of the road when they were hit by a truck. We get a super emotional scene (yes, I cried) where the two families somewhat reconcile in their grief as they go to the police station to identify the bodies. Except... they're not dead, which is revealed when Romil's father hugs Romil's (not) dead body. They reveal that they planned this to show their family that they still loved their sons. I did say it was like PatPran tricking their parents in the end, didn't I? So the families reunite, Romil and Jugal get jobs in New Zealand and get married, and return to India for a wedding celebration (yes, I cried. again). The ending does feel slightly rushed, but if I'm being honest, it wasn't as terrible as it could have been. Believing that your child is dead for a bit is a somewhat justifiable reason for a sudden change of heart. There's a part where Romil and Jugal tell their parents that if they choose acceptance, they can reconcile, but if they choose to remain prejudiced, Romil and Jugal can simply get back on the stretchers, because they'll be as good as dead to their families anyways and it is *chef's kiss*.

All in all, the show was surprisingly heartfelt and poignant. It had me laughing, kicking my feet and even crying. There's a lot more about this show that I could talk about, but I'm going to stop here for now, and I'll try to write more on it later. This show really does deserve more recognition than it has, and I'm almost mad at myself for not knowing about it before. Am I being really biased when talking about this show? Absolutely. But I do think that this show is a worthwhile watch, and I'd really like to see what other people on here think of the show, especially because I'm aware that I am biased towards this show.

I'm tagging a few people who I know might be interested/have some thoughts about the show because this is a show that I really want to hear other people's opinions on and have conversations about, so I hope you guys don't mind!

@waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @bengiyo @neuroticbookworm

#good lord this post is almost 2k words #i think this is the longest post i have ever written #and there's more thoughts rattling around in my brain about this show #did i convince you to watch the show?#please say yes #i need people to talk to about this show #bl recs #indian bl #indian bl recs #romil and jugal #romil & jugal #bad buddy #i mean it's related #how does everything i write about somehow find it's way to that goddam show #but seriously romil and jugal was surprisingly very good #i did not expect it at all #but i have never been so glad to be proven wrong #queer indian media

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