#on self destruction

[asoftepiloguemylove]

Joan Tierney Why Are You Haunted? / @/oceaii (tumblr) / Liv Ullmann Changing / The Elektra Complex / Rosario Castellanos Monologue of a Foreign Woman from "Meditation on the Threshold: A Bilingual Anthology of Poetry / unknown / @/violentcherries (tumblr) / @/nutnoce (tumblr) / Jean-Paul Sartre Nausea / unknown

i. Joan Tierney Why Are You Haunted? [ "This haunting is architectural. It is not about you. It is about where you are. There are bones in the foundation. This house is a graveyard. This house is a corpse. You are inside the corpse. That makes you the maggot." ]

ii. @/oceaii (tumblr) [ Black and white illustration of a deer. The deer looks forwards in the first panel and turns back to face the audience in the second panel. "Turn and face / the person you've become." ]

iii. Liv Ullmann Changing [ "I will never forget the loneliness I knew as a child. For a period in my life I hid behind a mask. Did not want to acknowledge any longing. / Now it is a part of me-something I can share. / Both the loneliness and the longing." ]

iv. The Elektra Complex [ "If you were to peel the skin of me apart as a fig's, you would finally understand. I am my mother's daughter. From poisoned seeds sprout poisoned fruits." ]

v. Rosario Castellanos Monologue of a Foreign Woman [ "I didn't want / to be the dead star / that uses borrowed light to survive." ]

vi. unknown [ Black and white illustration of two deer. They are both labeled with words. The deer in the background says "just be." The deer in the foreground replies "just being is the hardest part." ]

vii. @/violentcherries (tumblr) [ "the environment you are not thriving in is not yours forever / IT'S OKAY TO LEAVE / ... / IT'S OKAY to abandon the things you used to love" ]

viii. @/nutnoce (tumblr) [ Black and white illustration of a scorpion doing chores. It's tail just barely curls over the front of a clothes line. Various pairs of socks hang from the clothes line. It stands before a bucket with more clothes inside. "I come from the toughest, meanest place you can imagine. / I want to be gentle, I want to die gently, but / It seems that when life gets hard / I have to get harder to match." ]

ix. Jean-Paul Sartre Nausea [ "I am going to outlive myself. Eat, sleep, sleep, eat. Exist slowly, softly, like these trees, like a puddle of water, like the red bench in the streetcar." ]

x. unknown [ "1. Man is a MORAL animal. / 2. You can get human beings to do anything - IF you can convince them it is moral. / 3. You can convince human beings that anything is moral." ]

[thediagnosedweeb]

I am the hungry beast waiting outside your window, I'll chew off my own leg before I admit I'm starved though

Mitski Abbey // Daniel M. Lavery How To Respond To Criticism // Caroal Lee To Die For // Liv Ullmann Changing // Ethel Cain Strangers //Orson Scott Card // Mitski Shame // Pat the Bunny I'm not a good person // Mitski Humpty // Maggie Nelson Bluets // Charles Bukowski Ham on Rye // Sylvia Plath the unabridged journals of sylvia plath // Jenna Barton

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[divorceblogger]

this is my favourite daniel molloy-ism by the way

[stump-not-found]

A Lifetime Served in a Little Cup

pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4

---

bill, babygirl, the red flags get outta there

[simplyjustagirlsblog]

[injuredsoullessfrog]

[rainywhispersblog]

[foxlungz]

I just want to give up I’m tired from the bottom of my fucking soul like I don’t want to do this shit anymore like let me rest please I’ve had enough

[iwillnotseeheaven]

[asoftepiloguemylove]

THERE IS BLOOD ON MY HANDS AND I CAN'T WASH IT OFF

unknown // BANANA FISH (2018) dir. Hiroko Utsumi // Franz Kafka Letters to Milena; written August 26, 1920 // William Shakespeare The Tragedie of Macbeth // Traci Brimhall Saudade // Mr. Robot (2015-2019) cr. Sam Esmail // The Crane Wives Tongues and Teeth // Ethel Cain Strangers // Mary Oliver Count the Roses // boygenius Not Strong Enough // Kris Kidd // Neil Gaiman // Are you a Soldier, a Poet, or a King? uquiz cr. @atlanticsea // Nicole Dollanganger Dog Teeth // 呪術廻戦 Jujutsu Kaisen (2020-) dir. Shota Goshozono

[w1sh1ngw3ll]

“You look like you’re about to cry.”

No I just wanna k1ll myself.

[magical-sickness]

Late night walks hit different when u feel empty and suicidal

[voidmamma]

Hits so hard

[lilysofthevalleys]

[nabbibutterfly]

I wanna cry, scream, hurt myself, and die so bad, but I just don't have energy for anything anymore...

I feel so damn exhausted