#oh and lucius is too old

[gaiusmagnus]

Lanius isn't the real successor, it's Vulpes

On Caesar's successor

I was giving it some thought today and after scrambling together a bunch of words, I came to the conclusion that the more time passes, the less likely it is that the successor of Caesar's Legion is Lanius.

Should Caesar die during the events of New Vegas (which only happens when you play as a Legion Courier, mind you. It's as if his tumor doesn't exist without Courier intervention), Lanius becomes his successor because he's still riding his all-time high in terms of praise (or fear) due to the recent victory at the Second Battle of Hoover Dam. It makes sense the Legion makes him their new leader. However, the ending slides didn't state that Caesar was the one crowning him. He's dead, after all. "The Legate is crowned as the new Caesar. He entered The Strip as though it was a military target, destroying anyone who resisted him." Caesar openly admits several times that Lanius is a brute, only loyal to him and not the Legion. "Lanius is the greatest of my battlefield commanders. Some might call him a great man, but I'm not sure he qualifies." This further implies it might've been the Legion that crowned him and not Caesar himself. Furthermore, if Lanius fails and loses their most important war to date, why the hell would the other Legionaries still revere him and let alone, stay loyal to him?

I am well aware of the fan theory that talks about how a Legion Courier could be the successor. For simplicity's sake, I'm leaving this option out of the picture as I'm only talking about canon characters here.

To preserve Legion longevity or build towards a greater future in a Legion victory scenario, they need a leader who's both cunning and ruthless. Who could be the best candidate among them for that? I think it's none other than Vulpes Inculta. Vulpes has shown that he is capable of both sides of the coin. Being the head frumentarius means he's also great at planning. All in all, he has a lot more traits that a leader requires, over Lanius. It's a bonus factor that he's not too old either. They don't need another leader that dies of natural causes shortly after their last one does. And thus, it might be more likely than we think that the old tyrant passes his mantle onto the fox.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

i’m spending my sunday evening going through my google drive, saving everything to my external hard drive (don’t @ me i should’ve done this ages ago), and deleting it from the internet, and hoooo boy am i already having A Time™

[lalunanymph]

💭 thinking about . . . . ex-husband caleb

tw. colonel caleb x fem!reader, suggestive content, smut, mentions of angst, divorce, cross-posted from x, yandere-ish caleb, ex-husband, whiny caleb, begging, pathetic caleb, second chances, 2k+ words

The day you married Caleb was the happiest day of your life. 

You still remember the excitement in the air, the hush wedding reception filling up with closest friends. Those in attendance swore to keep this a secret—Caleb’s clandestine occupation as Colonel of the Farspace Fleet deterring from any illusions to a safe, stable job, not when he had enemies all around.

Gideon stood as his best man while Tara was your bridesmaid and makeup artist. 

A handful of Hunter colleagues, Jenna, and Professor Lucius who surprisingly sniffled quietly into his silk handkerchief, watched the two of you say your vows and promise before the law and men alike that you would always protect and cherish one another, for better or for worse. 

But, that was a year ago. 

While vows don’t change, people do. 

Sad story short, not even a year into your marriage, Caleb and you got into a huge, marriage-altering argument which resulted in six days of no-contact. You can say the divorce was mostly your fault.

Your husband of 342 days reluctantly agreed and while you two remained childless, he still insisted on paying the necessary support as per the pre-nup he insisted you get. 

The nascent, sharp ring of the doorbell distracts you from the rest of your straying thoughts, and you look up from the bouquet of flowers you’re halfway arranging. For a moment, your idle mind blanks and your heart trembles in your chest. 

It must be him�� 

Your throat tightens at the prospect of seeing your ex-husband again. 

While the two of you didn’t have the most pleasant relationship, you had mostly agreed to keep things civil. That is, until you open the door to find Caleb beaten up and bloody with your ring in a velvet box. 

“... what the fu—?” 

You don’t get to finish your sentence, not when he ushers you inside with a scowl. Towering over you with his 6’2 frame, you remind yourself not to be thrown off by his boyish charms and playfully bright violet eyes, even as a trickle of blood runs down his chin. 

“Sorry, princess. Got caught in a tussle. But, I’m here with your ring as you requested.”

His voice is light, deceptively casual. 

You gape at him. “... care to explain to me why you're bleeding out all over my foyer?” 

In answer, he pats your head and breezes past you. “You mean the foyer of this house I pay with my own money so I can put a roof over my dear old ex-wife’s head?” He arches a brow. “I say I can bleed on these floors all I want. But, you—”

Your ex-husband scrutinizes you from head-to-toe. “—don’t look too hot. Not sleeping well?” 

You bristle at his glib comment. “Oh, shut up, you big dummy.” 

The bravado doesn’t last long. Your eyes betray you, and your concern flares at the sight of more sanguine red seeping into the carpet. Without a hint of warning, you grasp the lapels of his thick, embellished jacket, and tug it down his shoulders. He relents, your sudden show of concern drawing a pensive silence across those deep set eyes; a furrow in his brow.

You gingerly lead him to the couch, and tell him to stay there, as you make a beeline for the first aid kit up in your kitchen cabinet. Setting to work, you clean up his wounds, and bandage them, focusing on the gash of his arm. 

“You’re practically untouchable,” you shake your head. “How did you get this sloppy?” 

Caleb grunts, wincing when you tighten the makeshift tourniquet around his injury. “They… got me when I had my back turned.” You know better than to press him for details—Caleb is adamant on not drawing you deeper into his bullshit, any more than necessary. You do the best you can; despite not being married to him, Caleb was—is—still your friend first, and you would rather take care of him than risk him not seeking out proper medical attention for himself. 

As you bring his heavy-duty military jacket into the quaint laundry room, you scrub it, lost in your thoughts, the egg-shell white walls pressing down on you. With a stealthiness that belies his broad frame, Caleb slips right behind you, and you feel the heat of his broad chest seeping into the thin, old shirt you wore.

“Is this mine?”

He runs his fingers over the frayed hem, and you bristle.

“... no.”

As much as your stubbornness infuriates him, the dark-haired man can also admit how it amuses him to no end. “Sure?” He raises one brow. “Says ‘DAA’ right here—”

“Fine. You want me to take it off and give it back?” you seethe. He laughs, gives you a faint smile that doesn’t exactly touch his eyes.

“Nope,” he sighs. “Can’t risk you getting cold. I’m just messin’ with you.” 

Silence blankets the both of you in reassuring waves. There’s nothing awkward about being in the same room with Caleb, and you don’t think twice when he inches closer—close enough for his chin to hook over your shoulder. Warm palms tentatively slide down your sides, and you stiffen, but don’t push him away.

“I…” his voice breaks, and all his bravado brought on by the adrenaline from before starts to dissipate. “I missed… you.” He finishes lamely, and you resist the urge to snort. Your tender heart bleeds behind a wall of brambles and you put on a front. 

“What? Already getting sad I’m mooching off your Fleet paycheck?” 

He hears the forced derision in your tone and doesn’t comment on it. If you’re stubborn, Caleb is downright bull-headed. Never one to take ‘no’ for an answer, he spins you around, soapy water sloshing down the front of your shirt as he tilts your chin up to look at him. 

Purple eyes that remind you of bruises bore right into yours, and your heart catches in your throat. 

“You're going to be the death of me someday ” he murmurs huskily. 

“Caleb—”

“Come back to me,” he murmurs, wearing his entire heart on his sleeve; begging you to take him back with those sad, puppy-dog eyes.

“You know I can't be your wife again.”

That irrational part of him which loses control every time he's around you rears its ugly head. 

“Why not?” he bites out, almost a whine. 

He leans in closer, the scent of blood and his skin grazing your nostrils. 

Despite the complications that might arise, you're freefalling right into the gravity of his plush lips, feeling the chapped softness pressing to your mouth. Caleb groans, the sound soft and frayed with yearning, his kiss full of pain and love. He caresses your cheek softly, the rough pads of his fingers smoothing down your jaw. 

“Why,” he whispers hoarsely. “Why are you so stubborn? Why do you always insist on hurting me?”

“I don't mean it,” you whisper. “I just… I don't want to lose you again.”

He glides the tip of his nose down your jawline and huffs. “Y'know I would never do that again. I'm not gonna be the same stupid bastard the second time, Pipsqueak.”

The old nickname brings a wave of nostalgia washing over you. You can barely keep eye contact with him. 

“Caleb… we tried and it didn't work out…”

You trail off and the guilt inside his chest grows heavier and heavier.

He's torn between respecting your wishes and giving this a second shot. Caleb is nothing if not a determined man, and he can't accept failure when he hasn't fully assessed the problem and determined its roots. A part of him desperately wants to fix this… to fix things between you two before it's too late.

He was an idiot who let go of the most precious person in his life. The young Colonel had already lost you once, and he's not going to stand around as you move on with your life and forget about him.

“Stop defying me… I know you want this, too,” he mutters hoarsely, pressing his lips to your neck. “I know you miss me… call out for me… need me as much as I need you and no matter what it takes—”

His tone is rough with suppressed need and stubbornness. 

“—you will come back to me. We will be together again.”

It was a mistake. 

You knew it from the roots of your head to the tips of your toes, and yet, you fell for his charms (again) and let him carry you into the bedroom, where he lays you down on the soft mattress like it’s your honeymoon—again. 

Caleb’s larger build presses down onto you, nimble and sure fingers inching off his old DAA shirt from your frame as he gazes down at you with pure hunger in his eyes. He slots himself in between your thighs, warm palms kneading the fleshy dough of your breasts as you gasp and writhe.

Stupid, you chastise yourself as he leans forward to trap your turgid nipple in between his teeth. Stupid, you groan inwardly when his free hand pinches your other swollen bud. You absolute idiot—you suck in a huge breath when he feathers kisses down your sternum, mentally berating yourself on how you got here. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. And, yet, you could never say no to Caleb, not when he’s hellbent on claiming you as his again. 

But, that’s fine, right? 

Ex-spouses sleep with each other all the time, is what you’re trying to delude yourself with as he removes the rest of his uniform, leaving him just in his thick military pants. You squeeze your thighs around his waist, and he grunts, letting you drag him deeper into your ardent embrace. 

Caleb kisses down your neck and you lose yourself in his scent—his presence.

He hitches your thighs around his waist and it’s all over for you. Warm and slightly chapped kisses feather down your thighs, and he kisses the sole of your feet before he enters you; a worshipper at your altar.

And, oh—how you’ve missed his devotion.

When the electric storm of desire has passed, you lay in his embrace, sated and warm, a wreck looking for an anchor. He gently smooths his hand down your hair, the motion comforting and reminding you of all those times he would hold you tight in the afterglow.

“Marry me,” he whispers, just as your eyes droop close. 

They shoot wide open again and you gape at him like he’s lost his marbles.

Maybe he did. Maybe Caleb’s not all that right in the head.

“What did you say?”

“I said: marry me,” he mumbles and perches his head on one arm to look at you. The lovesick foolishness in his gaze must’ve been contagious, for you to find yourself falling back into the delusion that everything is as it once was.

You close your eyes, all the walls you’ve erected after months of trying to get over your ex-husband showing the cracks of your crumbling resolution. “Caleb, we—“

He covers your mouth with a palm, and the look in his eyes is nothing short of stubborn misery. “It’s okay if you say ‘no’, but… can you give me this one night, Pipsqueak? Just one night…”

You’re not some heartless monster to deny him an innocent delusion. And besides, you have to tend to his injury and you can’t do that when he’s away from you again. 

Wordlessly, you hold onto him and Caleb exhales as if he’s been holding his breath for a long time. 

As night gives way to morning and weak sunlight pours in through the wispy curtains, you wake up in bed with him beside you. 

Rubbing your eyes, you can’t believe he’s actually here—that he stayed.

He never used to stay in bed past 7 in the morning. 

Caleb tightens his grip on you and nuzzles your hair, stuck in a light doze. He slowly stirs when you muffle a yawn behind your palm, and shakes off the grogginess in those pretty, purple eyes. 

When you move your hand from your face, you notice something sparkly on your ring finger. On closer inspection, your heart skips a beat when you realize it’s your wedding ring. 

The familiar band around your finger fills you with a maelstrom of emotion, and you take a moment to forlornly study the modest cluster of diamonds—a testament to your love for Caleb that sadly never met its defining end. 

“Did you—?” The question dies in the back of your throat. He takes a deep breath and nods.

“I was serious before, princess,” he murmurs softly, and tenderly strokes the band with his thumb. “Want you to marry me—again.”

Caleb is never going to take your refusal as an answer. Maybe you can convince him not to repeat the same mistake twice.

“But, the Fleet—“

“Will never come between us again,” he promises. The firm slant of his brow never wavers, and so does the resolution in his tone. “I made the mistake once of trying so hard to keep two parts of my life separate that I lost the only person who ever made anything make sense. I know that now.” He tenderly strokes your cheek, those mercurial violet eyes fixed on you with unwavering devotion.

“I want us to try again. Can we do that, princess?” 

The earnest hope in his tone breaks your heart, but the steadiness of his adoration strengthens it.

“Okay,” you whisper after a moment. Hope lights his gaze, lifts your heart to soaring heights. 

“Let’s try again.” 

♡ feedback and reblogs are appreciated

© all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost or claim as your own.

[clockwayswrites]

A bird what now? part 9

birdritch masterpost

"It will make him easy to keep an eye on,” Tim said.

Bruce sighed but gave a little nod. That was true. Even if this was nothing nefarious, they would have to keep an eye on Danny just to make sure that it wasn’t a reoccurring event. After all, with those running around like Clay Face, Man Bat, and Killer Croc there are plenty of people who had gotten turned into creatures and inhuman beings through: both their own fault and not. Bruce certainly hoped whatever was going on wasn’t the result of something being worked on at WE, but he would certainly have to meet with Lucius soon and double check that. It could always be something that Danny was working on in his own time or could have nothing to do with the company at all.

Gotham wasn’t exactly the safest place as far as chemicals in the water and air went. Though Bruce had been doing what he could through his own funds, initiatives at WE, and through his connections with the mayor. At least this mayor seemed like a good one (or as good as Gotham could hope for at the moment).

Progress could be slow, which was sometimes hard to accept.

“Put the bag on the table, Red Robin,” Bruce said with a little bit of a sigh in his words. Enter

“But B come on—” Tim started with a little furrow of his brow.

Bruce crouched down a little to meet Tim’s eyes. “I understand your inclination, Red Robin, you know I do. But we have enough information to look into this without invading what little privacy he has after waking up in the situation that he just did.”

“Oh,” Tim looked down at the bag and closed the flap over. “I guess I just… hadn’t thought about it like that.”

“I know, chum,” Bruce said. He squeezed Tim’s shoulder gently. “Go put the bag on the table for him and get yourself some coffee.”

“Coffee, coffee sounds amazing,” Tim said, mostly to himself, as he went to follow orders.

Bruce stuck his hands in the sweat pants he was wearing and trailed after Tim. He’d let his kids who needed the coffee go first, but he could really use some himself to deal with this morning. He stopped by Jason where the other was leaning against the meeting table and rubbing at the edges of his domino.

“Who thought Bat paranoia would pay off with us all putting these stupid things back on after showering,” Jason grumbled.

Bruce gave a soft ‘hm’.

“You got that good cream in stock? Cause this shit is going to itch wearing these all night.”

Bruce gave a little nod. “I’ll make sure you have a tub to take with you. Thank you for staying last night to watch over the family.”

“…yeah, sure old man.”

With a brief clasp to Jason’s shoulder, Bruce stepped up for his turn to get some coffee. Contrary to the easy jokes, Bruce didn’t enjoy his coffee dark and brooding like his soul and added a decent amount of cream to his cup.

“I don’t suppose that there’s enough in the pot for me?”

To his credit, Danny Fenton didn’t flinch as multiple white lensed gazes turned towards him. There was some water dripping off his hair, landing at his bare feet next to the too long sweatpants legs. Nightwing’s pants, Bruce’s mind supplied, just based on Fenton’s build. Though oddly the sweatshirt was definitely Bruce’s and absolutely swallowed Fenton.

Fenton reached up up and pulled the collar of the sweatshirt up over his freckled and scarred shoulder.

Scarred?

“Certainly,” Bruce said and reached for a mug. “Cream? Sugar?”

“A little of both, thank you,” Fenton said. He looked to his side as Cass came up to him and let her herd him to the table with a soft huff.

The rest of the Bats made their way there. Bruce set the mug down in front of Fenton and took the open seat to his left.

“What do you remember from last night.

Fenton took a long sip of his coffee before he spoke. “I left work about eight twenty.”

“That’s pretty late,” Tim interjected.

Fenton shrug and a gave half smile. “I have a habit of losing time, much to the annoyance of my boss. He’s who sent me home. I stopped and grabbed some food before I headed through Robinson park towards the station on the other side. Normally there’s no issue, but suddenly the vines were active and there was some sort of commotion off to my left.”

Bruce glanced towards Dick who gave a slight incline of his head. The commotion must have been them.

“My phone was dead— s’why I didn’t get my alarm to leave work, so I couldn’t check out if it was anything major,” Fenton continued. “I tried to back up and get out of the park but I was pretty surrounded. I wouldn’t have been too worried, but there was this flower, big and bold red. It popped and that’s the last clear thing I remember. After that it’s just… panic? I remember the flower was bad, my lungs felt like they were burning. I had to protect someone? Someones? And then there was a level of comfort. Then I woke up here.” Fenton’s hands hand tightened around his mug as he talked until he had a white knuckled clutch on it. “I’m hoping you all can fill in a few pieces.”

“Some,” Dick said. He leaned forward, elbows resting on the table. “Red Hood, Red Robin, and myself, Nightwing, were dealing with some criminals who were trying to bury a body in the park.”

“Really?” Fenton said incredulously. “Why did they think Posion Ivy would be okay with anyone digging in her park? Like sure, technically fertilizer, but really?”

“Right?” Dick agreed with a smile. “She was pretty unhappy. I’m assuming that’s what made the vines agitated. Sorry about that.”

Fenton gave a little shrug. “Not like you all were trying to bury a body. At least not this time?”

Jason barked out a laugh at that that Bruce’s look didn’t quell at all. He just flicked Bruce off.

“Nope,” Dick continued, undeterred, “we just stopped then and then were trying to calm Pamela— Ivy down. That’s when you showed up, except you weren’t exactly… you.”

With excellent timing as always, Tim pulled up a still from his camera onto the monitor of the bird entity. Fenton paled to an alarming degree.

“What?” he croaked.

“This bird creature— you— crashed onto the scene,” Dick said as Tim let the video play. “Don’t worry, you were nonviolent. Well, at least not to anything other than Ivy’s plants.”

On screen Fenton’s bird form was wailing on a carnivorous flower as he pulled Nightwing to safety.

“Oh Ancients,” Fenton said and buried his face in his shaking hands.

“Mostly you just collected us. Cuddle pollen causes people to need living warmth and it was obvious that you were dosed as your feathers were covered in it, which then affected all of us also.”

“Most of us. I’m smart enough to wear a fucking mask,” Jason said.

“I always thought that was smart,” Fenton said weakly as he pulled his gaze back up to the screen. “I really didn’t hurt anyone?”

“Only Robin’s pride,” Tim chirped.

Damian growled back.

“Okay. Okay that’s… that’s good. I, um… yeah, that’s new. The bird thing. That’s new,” Fenton said as he watched the video play out until Red Robin’s camera was obscured by feathers.

Bruce reached out to rest his hand across Fenton’s shoulder blades, tapping out a rhythm for him to breathe to.

Fenton sent him a shaky smile.

“Unsure about what you were, but knowing you had been affected by cuddle pollen and were… collecting my children, bringing you back to the cave seemed the best action,” Bruce explained. “As most of us were affected, it was easiest to stay close. It was unexpected to wake up to you being human.”

“Yeah, yeah I bet,” Fenton agreed. His gazed was glued to the screen again, the new now from Black Bat’s camera. “I wouldn’t have expected it either. That’s… yeah. That’s new.”

Bruce caught Cass’s attention and got a subtle assurance back. Fenton didn’t know why he had become a bird either. At least that decreased the chance of the man having been experimenting on himself.

“Do you work with chemicals at work?” Bruce asked. He would of course find this out from Lucius, but Fenton shouldn’t suspect that.

Fenton blinked at him. “What? Oh, no. Basic things, solder and acetone and the such. Nothing that should have any wild effects.” He hesitated then, chewing on his lips as his eyes flicked from Bruce to the screen where he was currently snagging Black Bat with one of the many legs. “But I was exposed to a lot of weird stuff as a kid. My parents had… poor lab safety and I really didn’t know any better. I guess that something in the flowers… reacted really badly? If there was some other triggers or something around in the air. That’s all I can think, but it had to be one hell of an environmental cocktail and not one I want to repeat.”

Bruce could believe Fenton’s aversion with the way he trembled under Bruce’s hand.

-

“You’ll be alright.” Danny wasn’t sure if that was a question or a statement, so he nodded and put on the best smile he could at the moment. “Well, I’m currently not a giant bird entity so I think so.”

They were tucked away in an alley close enough to home that Danny could walk it. The attempt at privacy didn’t make it any less weird to be standing there in borrowed clothing and talking to Batman who sat atop an intimidating looking motorcycle. Danny hoped it was still hellishly early enough to avoid most of the scrutiny of his neighbors.

Batman went still for a moment in a way that had Danny tilting his head before the man reached into his utility belt and handed over a black keyfob of some sort.

“It’s an emergency beacon. Twist it one-eighty and press the button for three seconds and we will have your location. If you’re exposed to something odd or fear you might shift, use it.”

“In case I’m a danger?”

“In case you need help, including if you’re irrational and need a safe space to calm down.”

Danny chewed on his lip for a moment before he held out his hand. He tried to ignore the tremor in it, even if the shaking was blatantly obvious. Batman set the fob in his hand with surprising gentleness.

“Use it if you need it.”

“Okay.” Danny took a step back. “Thanks for the ride back, even if I had to be blindfolded for it.”

“Precautions.”

Danny just shrugged. “You have a family to protect, I get it. Keep them safe.”

Batman gave a little nod and Danny took that as his chance to head out of the alleyway and quickly down the street to his apartment. He needed food and to call Sam.

No, he needed to push up that visit to see Frostbite.

---

AN: Can't believe there's 3 chapters of this silliness now. Didn't expect to get this far, but really needed something with no stress to write after the morning I had. Doing my best to hang in there. Stay delightful, darlings.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

You were a....HUFFLEPUFF?! || Draco Malfoy ||

A/n: I am weak for dad fics

It was supposed to be a quiet afternoon.

You were sitting in the drawing room, comfortably reading, while Scorpius had been happily entertaining himself by digging through an old box of photos Draco had left on the coffee table.

All had been peaceful—

Until Scorpius gasped so loudly, you nearly dropped your book as your hand moved to your growing belly.

“MUMMY!”

You blinked, looking up to see your son clutching a very old photograph, his silver eyes huge with excitement.

You smiled. “What is it, love?”

Scorpius practically bounced as he shoved the picture at you.

It was a Hogwarts-era photo—a younger you, your Hufflepuff scarf wrapped around your neck, smiling and waving at the camera. Draco stood beside you, arms crossed, pretending not to smile (but absolutely failing).

“Mummy,” Scorpius breathed, pointing an excited little finger at the yellow and black scarf. “Were you in—” His voice dropped to a dramatic whisper, “Hufflepuff?!”

You laughed, brushing a strand of blonde hair from his face. “Yes, sweetheart,” you said warmly. “I was a Hufflepuff.”

Scorpius GASPED.

Like, actual hand-over-heart, staggered-back gasp.

Draco, just entering the room, raised an eyebrow. “What now?”

Scorpius whipped around, pointing accusingly at his father.

“Papa, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?!”

Draco sighed, setting down his tea. “Yes, Scorpius. I’ve known for years.”

Scorpius ignored him, turning back to face you with renewed determination. “MUMMY.”

You, amused beyond belief, tilted your head. “Yes, love?”

Scorpius took a deep breath—as if about to declare something of world-changing importance—then shouted,

“I WANNA BE A HUFFLEPUFF TOO!”

Draco choked on air.

You beamed. “Oh? You do?”

Scorpius nodded so aggressively his blond curls bounced. “YES! I wanna be just like Mummy! Hufflepuff is the best!”

Draco, rubbing his temples, muttered, “Oh, Merlin help me.”

Scorpius whipped back around, pointing dramatically. “PAPA, YOU WERE IN SLYTHERIN, RIGHT?”

Draco eyed him warily. “Yes…”

Scorpius squinted at him suspiciously. “And you married MUMMY?”

Draco crossed his arms. “Obviously.”

Scorpius gasped again, spinning back to face you. “DOES THAT MEAN I CAN MARRY A SLYTHERIN TOO?!”

You laughed, ruffling his hair. “You can marry whoever you want, sweetheart.”

Scorpius giggled, looking far too pleased. “Okay! But first, I’m gonna be a Hufflepuff!”

Draco groaned, collapsing into the nearest chair. “Lucius is going to pass out when he hears this.”

Scorpius grinned, climbing into your lap. “That’s okay! Mummy can fix him!”

You, you were laughing too much to correct him, as you pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I think you’d make a wonderful Hufflepuff, sweetheart.”

Scorpius snuggled into you, sighing happily, and Draco....

Draco suffered in silence.

Because his son, the heir to the great Malfoy name, was now a proud future Hufflepuff.

And worst of all?

Draco couldn’t even be mad about it.

[miryum]

An arranged marriage with James Potter

Something had happened over the summer that made James Potter the most love-sick fool in all of Hogwarts. Purebloods being purebloods, it wasn’t uncommon for children to be paired up early on to secure the bloodline. While this happened mostly between the old-arching Slytherin families, an example being Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black, every once in a while, the other houses would participate too. 

Such was the case with James Potter and Y/n L/n. The L/n’s had spanned generations, stretching back to even the Gaunt’s time. But, such as the Gaunt family, the L/n family had run into some bad luck. Stocks didn’t go the way they wanted or something of the sort and now they were in ruining trouble. 

Euphemia Potter was usually one to scoff at arranged marriages, wanting the children to find love for themselves, blood status be damned. However, the L/n’s were good friends of hers and James had written home multiple times about their daughter. From his letters, it seemed as if the two were already dating. It was a perfect coincidence. Euphemia and Fleamont agreed instantly, lifting the weight of a thousand bricks off of the patriarch of the L/n household. 

However, James and Y/n were not dating. Much to James’ annoyance, the only thing between them was his unrequited infatuation towards Y/n. 

So that’s where the pair found themselves at the beginning of seventh year. Y/n L/n trying to fly under the radar and not draw any attention to herself or the new ring on her finger, and James Potter doing everything in his power to show off their relationship and spoil her in front of everyone. 

It began at the start of the year feast. James had an arm around Y/n’s shoulder the entire time. When a third year nervously asked if the two were dating, staring reverently up at James, the boy grinned and looked to Y/n. “I don’t know, love, are we?”

Y/n pushed James’ arm off her shoulder and indelicately said, “no. Take him.” The third year blushed and mumbled their way out of the conversation as James clutched his wounded heart.

During classes, James would loudly correct the professors from Miss. L/n to Mrs. Potter. It earned him wry smiles from McGonagall and Sprout, chuckles from Slughorn and Flitwick, and a cold glare from Y/n. The students all looked a bit confused whenever this happened, but chalked it up to the usual antics of James Potter. 

In the courtyard or by the Black Lake, James would lay his head on Y/n’s lap, even if she pushed him off or was sitting with her knees up. There were roses on her bed and notes in her bag and it got to the point where Y/n didn’t even question how James had snuck into her dorm. 

If Y/n ever went to Hogsmead, James was sure to follow. No matter what she bought, he would pay for. Even if she got frustrated, he would slip the galleons up onto the counter, grinning at the cashier. He wanted to show her that he could provide for her and give her a nice home. As she would walk from shop to shop, he would point out colours of shops, saying, “oh, that would be a good colour for our bathroom. Look at that little cuckoo clock! Y/n, we have to get it.”

He would follow wherever she went, asking what seemed like meaningless questions. Have you ever had any pets? Do you like the country or city better? Any aspirations for your career? What’s a place you always wanted to visit? Y/n thought nothing of it, but to James, her answers were slowly sculpting his future. Would she want a dog or a cat in our home? Where should our house be? I would like the country so our kids could run around more, but we can easily make the city work if she wants. Should I be a stay-at-home dad? Or could we juggle two careers? Where should our honeymoon be? 

Quidditch games were no better, because after every goal the chaser scored – and he scored a lot – he would look to the stands, find his fiancée, and blow her a kiss. Before every match, one of his spare jerseys would be laid out on her bed, a small note attached, begging her to wear it. She never did and he always gave her a pout when he realised it. And God forbid she didn’t go to the games. Once, she had been studying for an upcoming exam and hadn’t been able to make it. James had thrown a fit. Sirius had to drag him away from Madame Hooch before he secured an entire year of detention, but the boy still refused to get in the air. Madame Hooch threatened to start the game and make Gryffindor play a catcher down, but thankfully Remus and Peter had just found Y/n and dragged her to the pitch. The moment James saw her, he beamed and kicked off, broom now in the air. They had ended up winning. James spent the afterparty with his head on Y/n’s lap, arms reaching up to encircle her waist. He continuously reminded her how awful it would’ve been if she hadn’t shown up and only shut up when she began running her fingers through his hair.

And every night, no matter if he went to bed first or she did, James would always go over to Y/n and give her a soft kiss on the forehead and a whispered, “sweet dreams.” No matter where she was, this became a daily occurance in Y/n’s life. At first, she tried to avoid it by sneaking off to the library whenever James began yawning and tossing around the idea of going to bed. But he would find her. She tried the kitchens, hoping he didn’t think to look for her there. But he would find her. She tried being in a group with her friends, in animated conversations. But he would weave his way through the group, step in front of her, and still say goodnight. It was like he had this magical map that told him where she was at all times. It was bloody infuriating. 

Much to James’ dismay, no progress seemed to be made. At least she was staying faithful to her fiancé, the Marauders reassured him as James griped and moaned. He would sling himself onto a common room chair, conveniently in the earshot of his dearest. Y/n would just roll her eyes. 

The majority of Hogwarts didn’t know what to do with them. The girls would swoon when they heard the new thing James Potter had come up with to woo Y/n L/n. The boys would huff and grumble about needing to step up their own game when it came to their girlfriends. James was setting the bar too high. The teachers would sit around, taking time to sip a well-deserved drink, as they complained how if L/n didn’t soon see the boy that was right in front of her, helpless to his love, then Potter was going to have a breakdown.

Yet, Y/n continued to push him away. James could be patient. He had been waiting practically seven years – he could wait a little more, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hurt whenever she brushed him off. She could’ve said no to the engagement. She could’ve punched or hexed him. It didn’t seem like she truly hated him, more like she was embarrassed and tired of him. 

“I don’t get it,” James said finally one night. He laid out on his bed, long limbs stretching over the place as Peter and Sirius played Exploding Snap on the floor. 

Remus was reading on his own bed. The werewolf sighed, knowing where this was going. “What don’t you get, Prongs?” 

“Why doesn’t Y/n like me?” James murmured, looking at his friends with large, hurt eyes. 

“Mate,” Sirius said. One of the cards exploded, making Peter flinch. “Listen. She likes you, yeah? How else are you able to get close to her? I swear, you were practically on top of her a couple days ago.” He scoffed and laid down a card. 

James groaned loudly and exclaimed, “but I’ve tried everything! Hell, we’re literally engaged! I can’t go through an entire marriage like this. Especially not with the woman I love.”

Peter piped up, smiling sincerely at James. “Hey, I’m sure she’ll realise it soon enough. I think she loves you back. She’s just scared.”

“But I’m me!” James shouted out. “I’m not scary!” He looked around wildly at his friends. “Am I?” he asked pathetically.

“I think if you have to ask if you’re scary,” Remus pointed out, “then you’re not scary.”

Sirius grinned. “Excellent point, as always, Moony.”

Remus sighed and gave James a pointed look. “Perhaps, the best thing to do is talk to her. Since she is your future wife, after all.” 

“I do talk to her!” James argued. “I ask her about her day and tell her about our pranks. She- she responds. She’s very sweet, you know, but she never shows any affection.”

“Maybe you’re pressuring her,” Peter commented. “By being all lovey-dovey. You could try being her friend first?”

James didn’t think he could do that. He already thought of Y/n as his wife. He already thought of her as one of his best friends. But what else could he do to get her to feel the same way?

The next week, James took Peter’s words into consideration. Instead of leaving flowers in her dorm, James asked if he could join her in the library for a study session. Instead of blowing her kisses during Quidditch games, he just waved. Instead of envisioning their future, he focused on the present. 

It wasn’t until three weeks had passed that James noticed the results. Y/n began coming to him with some questions on schoolwork. Y/n waved back at Quidditch games, shooting him a thumbs up in encouragement. Y/n wouldn’t fiddle with her engagement ring nervously, as if worried someone would spot it. 

The girl noticed her changed behaviour too. On a random Thursday, when James came to kiss her goodnight, she paused her conversation and whispered back, “sleep well,” angling her body so he wouldn’t have to reach as far to kiss her temple. Soon after, she excused herself from her friends, flustered. Y/n paced around her dorm, twisting the ring back and forth. 

A knock came at the door. “Hey,” James murmured as he pushed open the door. “Are you okay?”

Y/n turned to face him. “You actually care about me, don’t you?” she whispered. 

James couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course,” he replied. “Why on earth would you think otherwise?”

She shrugged. “It seemed fake, you know? Like this one big prank to single me out. But then you actually seemed excited and willing to marry me, James. Marriage. This is the rest of our lives and we haven’t even kissed!”

James cracked a smirk. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I can fix that really easily.”

“But you think you’re in this for the long run?” Y/n asked desperately. “For- for the fights? The late nights? The chores? And we haven’t even talked if we want kids or not!”

“Love,” he interrupted her spiral. “Have you thought about the waking up every morning in my arms? The dancing in the kitchen for no reason? The anniversary dinners where I profess my love over and over again?” He stepped forward, placing his warm hands on her arms soothingly. “And if you want, I would love to have mini replicas of us running around, waking us up in the middle of the night because of a night terror. I would love for them to disrupt our dancing in the kitchen by demanding they want to dance too. And I would love for them to groan when they see me being all sappy towards my wife.”

How could any girl say no when James Potter was standing before her, promising her endless devotion? The kiss was slow, James’ lips slowly moving against hers. He revelled in the warmth of her body and how her head tilted to him as he cupped her cheek gently. All short and lovely and sweet, the kisses were exactly how James had dreamed. 

The couple parted and the boy stared down at her. His finger went up to brush her bottom lip before murmuring, “will you marry me?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

[harunayuuka2060]

Professor Trein: I've never seen your classmates- I mean, your students this behave.

MC: They just value their lives, professor.

Cerberus: Grrr...

MC: Oh. Is there anyone trying to cheat?

Random student: !!! *immediately rips off his cheat sheet*

MC and Professor Trein: ...

Professor Trein: Can I borrow Cerberus for my history class later?

MC: Sure thing, professor. But how about, Lucius?

Cerberus: Grrr...

MC: Aww~ Look at you, Cerberus! You're such a good boy! Be good to Professor Trein and his cat, hm? I'll play with you together with Lucifer after you finish your task. *pets him*

Cerberus: *wags his tail*

The students: *thinking* Curse Crowley...

Barbatos: Great work, MC. Here's your Hell Coffee.

MC: Thanks. *takes a sip* Ah.

MC: So bitter.

Barbatos: *chuckles* It's more bitter than before, isn't it?

MC: *smiles* Yes. *then their face saddens*

Barbatos: Is there something wrong?

MC: I just missed Luke and Simeon.

Barbatos: Hm. Then why not invite them here?

MC: ...

Barbatos: Don't tell me you have forgotten that you possess the power of the Ring of Light?

MC: ...

MC: *facepalm* Yes.

Barbatos: *chuckles* I figured. Now, don't sulk and enjoy your recess.

MC: Thank you, Barb.

MC: Vil... What are you doing here?

Vil: I've heard from your demon butler that you are turning yourself into an angel to gain access to this Celestial Realm.

MC: Yes?

Vil: I must see what you will look like, potato.

MC: ...

MC: Okay. I think it'll be fine if you're the only spectator- Lilia, what are you doing here too?

Lilia: Same reason. *while holding a camera*

MC: ...

MC: Whatever.

Solomon: *chuckles* You're famous even here, huh?

MC: More like infamous, but yeah. Anyway, Sol? Mind lending me a hand?

Solomon: No problem. *uses magic to change them*

Vil and Lilia: *in awe; also Lilia not forgetting to snap pictures*

MC: Okay! I'm ready to get my baby!

Solomon: And your other husbando.

MC: Right. *breathes in*

MC: I am the magician, MC…Ring of Light! Heed my words! Open the way forward and create a path where there was none!

MC: Unlock the Gates of the Celestial Realm!

Vil: Ugh... Everything is bright! I can't see a thing!

Lilia: Good thing I have my sunglasses.

Vil: *frowns*

*The light disappears after a few seconds and MC as well*

Solomon: Yup. I'm sure they are in the Celestial Realm right now.

MC: ...

Simeon: ...

MC: *ended up straddling him*

Simeon and MC: *both blushes in embarrassment*

MC: I am sorry!

Simeon: *chuckles* I thought for a second that I had committed a sin.

MC: Come on now. You're calling me a sin?

Simeon: *chuckles again* No. I mean, I have been thinking of you for a while.

MC: *smiles* Sorry for being gone. I got into some sort of... unexplainable event.

Simeon: Oh?

MC: By the way, is Luke here? I'm here to invite you and him to this new world I'm living in.

Simeon: Is it similar to Devildom?

MC: No. It's a bit similar to the human world, except with magicians.

Simeon: Oh. *smiles* We would love to be there.

MC: Great!

*Back to Twisted Wonderland*

Diavolo: Simeon! Luke! I'm so glad to see you again!

Simeon: *chuckles* We're glad to see you too, Diavolo.

Luke: Yeah!

Lucifer: I'm surprised you easily got permission, MC.

MC: What permission?

Lucifer: ...

Simeon: MC snatched Luke in front of Michael. *laughs*

Luke: *giggles* It was fun when the other angels started to chase us!

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: MC, why you-

MC: It's my parental rights, Lucifer.

Lucifer: ...

Malleus: That is your son, child of man?

MC: Yes! Isn't he adorable?

Luke: *staring at Malleus and wondering if he's a demon*

Malleus: How old is he?

MC: Um. He's ten. Yes. He's ten years old.

Luke: *pouts* MC! I'm over a thousand years old!

Malleus: ...

Malleus: What? You are older than me? *squints his eyes*

MC: Mal, don't. *knows that he's judging his height*

[lucycore]

Harry Potter headcanons

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊ ˚ 🔮✨️🪄 ₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚₊

Okay so it's my first time writing for Harry Potter since I've always been shying away of doing that cuz the fandom is so fucking big and there are people that know more or even know everything if they're obsessed and I'm just a newbie but I'll try my best and of course my first time writing for them will be smut.

⚠️ Smut warning ⚠️

(Obviously the characters are old enough for such things so everything from and after ootp)

Summary: What their favorite position might be and if they're bottom,top or switch.

Includes: Harry, Hermione , Ron, Fred, George, Sirius, Remus, Snape, Draco & Lucius

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🔮✧˚.🪄༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🔮✧˚.🪄༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🔮✧˚.🪄༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🔮✧˚.🪄⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🔮✧˚.🪄༘

Harry:

Ok so I think he could be switch depending on his partner and experience and strength and all that. So his favorite positions might be missionary if he's dom and riding if he's bottom. I know so fucking basic but hear me out for a sec. Missionary doesn't have to be that boring if played well. So he'd fuck you while looking deep into your eyes and touching your whole body or even hold your hands above your head. For sub and riding he'd enjoy looking at your boobs while they bounce and grab your ass or hold it and move you up and down while you ride.

Hermione:

Well now that's kinda hard..I mean she's a sub yeah but can also lead if you're a virgin. I'd say she likes riding you. I think she'd just enjoy moving on your cock to her liking (or strap on if you're female). She'd know what she needs and how it's best for her. Oh if you're wearing a strap on she would like any position doggy or missionary. Ok let's leave that there....

Ron:

I see Ron as a switch, I can't decide it's similar to Harry. I think he also likes riding a lot, just watching your beautiful body bouncing up and down on his cock while looking into your eyes and maybe even blushing a little. He'd occasionally squeeze your boobs if he finds the courage. Now if he feels dom, I'd say he would fuck the shit out of you in the doggy position. Hold onto your waist, spank you and grab your hair when he feels rough.

Fred:

Sooo I think dom. He is taller, older and even tho he's goofy and all that, he can be very dominant and lead you but in a soft and fun way. Not rough and strict. I bet he loves a good lap fuck. Like you sit on his lap and can cuddle into his chest or lay your head on his shoulder or just kiss while he fucks you nice and slow or even hard where you have your hands around his neck and bounce up and down on his cock. He would love to kiss your neck while fucking you and spank your ass from time to time.

George:

He's dom too but I think is a little rougher than Fred. Therefore I think spooning would be a good pick and now hear me out, before you say spooning is not a good position to fuck the shit out of someone. It is. He could move you a little and put your leg over his shoulder preferably in front of a mirror so he could see your private parts exposed not being able to hide anything from him cuz he won't let you put your leg down, it would be locked there especially when you're a lot smaller than him and yeah he is energetic so he could thrust rough and fast into you and rip you apart. You don't have to worry about him being slow. I think you'd even wish for him to be more gentle after he's done with you, girl.

Sirius:

Definitely dom without a second thought. He would love to fuck you up against the wall or in the air like he picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. His thrusts would be rough but if you're shy and unexperienced he would go very slow, sweet and romantic. He's older and so gentle, he would be the sweetest man ever to be fucked by for the first time. I can also imagine him doing you from behind against the wall. Pulling your hair, spanking you and all that yk.

Remus:

Dom obviously and well we're talking about a werewolf here so doggy would be the only fitting position, right? Yeah I know it would be perfect for Sirius too but no idk shh. I think of him as very gentle and loving while doing it, not rough until you ask him to be and still then he wouldn't be as rough as Sirius for example. Stroking your cheek after he finished, asked if it hurt or something and of course while fucking checking on you. Very sweet guy. Depth is also his type of shit, he could watch your face to see how he does.

Snape:

Hell I don't even know..I mean dom yeah but position?..Probably butterfly. So you lay down, he stands and your legs on his shoulders. He likes slow but hard thrusts. That's so hot tbh..Going slow not like a Draco maniac (more to that later) but hard thrusts, I hope you all know what I mean but since you're reading this I assume you're a pervy one. Then when he's close he would go a little faster but that's about it. Don't you worry, he is thick so the pace doesn't matter, babe.

Draco: Yeah I know sorry for putting him all the way down here, I gotta admit I almost forgot him lol

Okay dom of course..I mean obviously. He likes to brag and shit but dom yeah. Dude he'd like to try many positions but I think what he likes most is to just lay down, hands behind his head and just let you ride him and do all the work for him. So yeah riding and nelson is very fitting. If you don't know what nelson is pls look it up it's hard to explain. Nelson is the perfect one fr fr. Missionary would be up there too and just rough and quick sex like his pace is out of this world..I mean makes sense given his emotions, energy and slim body type. He doesn't fuck around lol.

Lucius:

Dom of course. But the sex would be slow, romantic and noble like rich people kinda sex (what? Idk) so I think missionary yes and reverse cowgirl is kinda his thing I'd say. He likes it slow and romantic with wine and roses but when he's anxious like that he will also use you to relieve his stress so he would just grab you tight and fuck you putting his whole weight on your body so it's almost hard to breathe but you don't wanna get him mad, do you?

—

I gotta admit I'm kinda "scared?" to post this cuz I'm a newbie so don't be too strict with me..

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello there

Do you think Harry can be charismatic and charming? I see him having a bit of a silver tong and having the ability to bend people's will

See Slughorn and the gray lady, the boy can be quite manipulative

Hello, and YES! Yes, I definitely think he can be manipulative and a convincing liar. He's witty and as I mentioned here, many other characters see him as charismatic and leader material, even if he doesn't think of himself as such.

The example with Slughorn is great, we see our boy getting him drunk and reminiscing about Lily to get information out of him:

The Felix Felicis gave Harry a little nudge at this point, and he noticed that the supply of drink that Slughorn had brought was running out fast. Harry had not yet managed to bring off the Refilling Charm without saying the incantation aloud, but the idea that he might not be able to do it tonight was laughable: Indeed, Harry grinned to himself as, unnoticed by either Hagrid or Slughorn (now swapping tales of the illegal trade in dragon eggs) he pointed his wand under the table at the emptying bottles and they immediately began to refill. [...] Slughorn gave a great shudder, but he did not seem able to tear his horrified gaze away from Harry’s face. “He told her to get out of the way,” said Harry remorselessly. “He told me she needn’t have died. He only wanted me. She could have run.” “Oh dear,” breathed Slughorn. “She could have . . . she needn’t . . . That’s awful. . . .” “It is, isn’t it?” said Harry, in a voice barely more than a whisper. “But she didn’t move. Dad was already dead, but she didn’t want me to go too. She tried to plead with Voldemort . . . but he just laughed. . . .” “That’s enough!” said Slughorn suddenly, raising a shaking hand. “Really, my dear boy, enough . . . I’m an old man . . . I don’t need to hear . . . I don’t want to hear . . .” “I forgot,” lied Harry, Felix Felicis leading him on. “You liked her, didn’t you?”

(HBP, Ch22)

(As I've been saying for a while, Harry is super magically powerful and capable when he doesn't overthink things. Like, Felix Felicis makes you lucky, it doesn't make you more magically skilled or a better actor — that's all Harry. Also, a lot of what he says isn't just the Felix Felicis, Harry still needs to think what to say, the potion just gives him a nudge)

But it isn't the first or last time Harry does something like that. One of my favorite examples of his Slytherin tendencies is this scene from CoS:

“Potter! Weasley! What are you doing?” It was Professor McGonagall, and her mouth was the thinnest of thin lines. “We were — we were —” Ron stammered. “We were going to — to go and see —” “Hermione,” said Harry. Ron and Professor McGonagall both looked at him. “We haven’t seen her for ages, Professor,” Harry went on hurriedly, treading on Ron’s foot, “and we thought we’d sneak into the hospital wing, you know, and tell her the Mandrakes are nearly ready and, er, not to worry —” Professor McGonagall was still staring at him, and for a moment, Harry thought she was going to explode, but when she spoke, it was in a strangely croaky voice. “Of course,” she said, and Harry, amazed, saw a tear glistening in her beady eye.

(CoS, Ch16)

He doesn't even hesitate. Lying so well that McGonagall gets a bit teary-eyed. In OotP, he actually gets information out of Lucius in the ministry, getting him to talk both to buy time and get intel:

“You haven’t told me what’s so special about this prophecy I’m supposed to be handing over,” he said, playing for time. He moved his foot slowly sideways, feeling around for someone else’s. “Do not play games with us, Potter,” said Malfoy. “I’m not playing games,” said Harry, half his mind on the conversation, half on his wandering foot. And then he found someone’s toes and pressed down upon them. A sharp intake of breath behind him told him they were Hermione’s.

(OotP, Ch35)

Not to mention all the times he essentially tricks Hagrid into telling him things (even if Hagrid is an easier target).

His witty comebacks in many situations:

“Got plenty of special features, hasn’t it?” said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. “Shame it doesn’t come with a parachute — in case you get too near a dementor.” Crabbe and Goyle sniggered. “Pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy,” said Harry. “Then it could catch the Snitch for you.”

(PoA, Ch13)

It was Rita Skeeter. She was wearing acid-green robes today; the Quick-Quotes Quill in her hand blended perfectly against them. “Congratulations, Harry!” she said, beaming at him. “I wonder if you could give me a quick word? How you felt facing that dragon? How you feel now, about the fairness of the scoring?” “Yeah, you can have a word,” said Harry savagely. “Good-bye.”

(GoF, Ch20)

“Why were you lurking under our window?” “Yes — yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our window, boy?” “Listening to the news,” said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. “Listening to the news! Again?” “Well, it changes every day, you see,” said Harry. … “We know you’re up to something funny,” said Aunt Petunia. “We’re not stupid, you know,” said Uncle Vernon. “Well, that’s news to me,” said Harry, his temper rising

(OotP, Ch1)

Harry, of course, had endured their snide comments for more than four years, so whispers of, “Hey, Potty, I heard Warrington’s sworn to knock you off your broom on Saturday,” far from chilling his blood, made him laugh. “Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me,” he retorted, which made Ron and Hermione laugh and wiped the smirk off Pansy Parkinson’s face.

(OotP, Ch19)

Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, “You’re dead, Potter.” Harry raised his eyebrows. “Funny,” he said, “you’d think I’d have stopped walking around. . . .”

(OotP, Ch38)

Are further examples of Harry having a quick wit and a silver tongue when he wants/needs to. And, I love how the first time he asks Slughorn about the memory Harry is being a little shit and literally quoting Tom Riddle from the memory down to some of the mannerisms:

“Look sharp, Tom,” said Slughorn, turning around and finding him still present. “You don’t want to be caught out of bed out of hours, and you a prefect . . .” “Sir, I wanted to ask you something.” “Ask away, then, m’boy, ask away. . . .” “Sir, I wondered what you know about . . . about Horcruxes?”

(HBP, Ch17)

“…Come on, now, Harry, you’ll be late for your next lesson,” said Slughorn affably, snapping the gold clasps shut on his dragon-skin briefcase. “Sir,” said Harry, reminding himself irresistibly of Voldemort, “I wanted to ask you something.” “Ask away, then, my dear boy, ask away. . . .” “Sir, I wondered what you know about . . . about Horcruxes?” Slughorn froze. His round face seemed to sink in upon itself. He licked his lips and said hoarsely, “What did you say?” “I asked whether you know anything about Horcruxes, sir. You see —” “Dumbledore put you up to this,” whispered Slughorn. His voice had changed completely. It was not genial anymore, but shocked, terrified.

(HBP, Ch18)

I mean, considering how we're told Tom Riddle was handsome, charming, and silver-tongued and we see Harry compared to him (in looks and charisma and mannerisms), by other characters including Tom and Harry in the above scene, I think it's safe to say Harry can be charismatic and silver-tongued. It comes with being witty and thinking quickly on his feet. (And being really used to lying when put on the spot).

That being said, Harry's temper, when it gets the better of him, makes him worse at this since he doesn't think before speaking. But, when he's calm or he's angry in his usual cold way that isn't a trauma response, yeah, he's manipulative and silver-tongued as the best of Slytherins. (I personally think Harry's more of a Slytherin than Draco, for example, who actually exhibits very few actual Slytherin traits even if he wished he did)

[thatlittlefangirl]

"I love you"

He said it, here he was, a blushing sweating mess, showing the older boy a bouquet of flowers - which came from a bush he and Lily had notice while hanging around. He would never tell her that he undid her flower crown she had given him just to confess his love to the kind of people she hated.

Alas, love is known for driving men and women alike crazy, he was no different.

"Oh.. Sevvy…", came the surprised tone from the blonde man, then came a smile, not a charming or arrogant one, but a nice gentle smile was what Severus received from his confession. "I'm sorry but.. you're too young for me, and I'm too old for you"

Oh.

He expected it, yet it still broke his heart to hear it. It was an ugly truth he tried to hold on when fighting back his attraction for Lucius, yet he gave in and was turned down in the end.

"It's fine, we all got a first crush", the blonde Slytherin said in a gentle tone as he bent down to Severus's height, grey eyes staring at his black ones "You're brave for confessing though"

Smooch

It caused the greasy haired boy to to turn crimson, his biggest crush just kissed his cheek, he believed that he would never ever wash his face after that.

"Continue like that", were the words Lucius said before walking away, his long shiny hair swaying behind him.

Severus was left there, standing in the empty hallway, his face as red as a tomato, his brain trying to register what just happened.

When he regained control of his limbs, he noticed that the bouquet was not in his hands. Had Lucius taken it? He didn't know, he hadn't noticed, the only thing in his head was the phantom feeling of warm lips on his cheek, the ghost of a kiss.

[incorrectbatfam]

BatFam at bring your kids to work day across the years at Wayne Industries.

8-year-old Dick: Wow, this place is huge!

Bruce: That's right, chum. My office is on the top floor.

Dick: Race you up!

Bruce: We can take the eleva—

Dick: Too late! Last one there's a rotten egg.

———————

13-year-old Bette: So this is where our family's money comes from?

Bruce, still a new CEO: I guess?

———————

Bruce: And this is our robotics research lab where your dad is spearheading an experimental space pod project.

Young Luke: Cool! Can I try?

Bruce: I'm afraid you need to be a little older. And a LOT more covered under our insurance.

———————

Bruce: This meeting might take a while. Think you can entertain yourself, Jaylad?

12-year-old Jason: Sure.

[an hour later]

Bruce: Where's Jason?

Lucius: Reading the company directory.

Jason: Hey, a book's a book.

———————

Bruce: This is the lobby, where you'll be waiting until Alfred picks you up. I have a conference call so tell my secretary if you need anything.

14-year-old Tim: M'kay.

Bruce: *leaves*

Tim: *moves an end table in front of the elevators and prints out tickets*

Employee: Pardon me, just coming through.

Tim: Admission is five dollars.

———————

16-year-old Steph: You guys have a soft serve machine?!?

Bruce: TWO soft-serve machines.

Steph, shoving through: Move aside, people!

———————

Bruce: This vending machine always gets stuck so you have to hit it a couple times.

Cass: *roundhouse kicks through the glass*

———————

Duke: *on his phone*

Bruce: So... anything interesting at school?

Duke, still on his phone: Nope.

Bruce: Oh, okay. Well my job is a lot of spreadsheets and signatures. I'm waiting for Lucius to get back to me on one.

Duke: *laughs at his phone*

Bruce: I didn't realize paperwork was so funny.

Bruce: *glances over at Duke's phone*

Bruce: What the hell is Skibidi Toilet?

———————

Barbara: Thanks for letting me borrow your Wi-Fi.

Bruce: Of course. The guest bandwidth gets a little overloaded sometimes so you can use my employee login. The password is "clarkdaddy."

Barbara: ...It could use some numbers.

———————

Damian: You run an impressive operation, Father. I look forward to inheriting it.

Bruce: That's the spirit. Just a few more years of school and I can show you the ropes.

Damian: However, as impressive as it is, I identified several key weaknesses that will be your downfall if unaddressed. Firstly, I do not appreciate sharing a restroom with the general public. Secondly—

[silverryuan]

Ruggie Bucchi with Ice Bear reader

• The cafeteria was pretty packed with hungry students standing in line. When it was finally your turn, Grim kept pointing at every dish displayed like a child picking their most desired toys at a mall.

Grim: "Hey, henchman! Pick that one for me! Oh, and that one too! That one also looks good, pick it for me! Hurry up, I'm hungry!"

Ice Bear: "... Ice Bear will pick food. Grim go wait on table."

Grim: "Aawww man..."

Ace: "Oh? Does baby Gwim feew sad?"

Grim: "Fnyagh! You wish!"

Deuce: "Can't your hunger wait for the food? It'll only take a minute."

Grim: "The Great Grim ain't waiting on any table on an empty stomach! I'm gonna stand here until I get my food!"

Ice Bear: "sigh"

• You can only grab whatever food you can afford. You chose an omelette for yourself and a sandwich for Grim. Once you give him the sandwich first, you ordered him to wait on the table with Ace and Deuce. By the time you got your tray, Grim was already running to you crying about someone stealing his food.

Grim: "Fnyaaaagh! Henchman! That scumbag thief just stole my sandwich!"

Ice Bear: "?"

Deuce: "Stole it? You gave it to him."

Grim: "I did not!"

Ace: "Yeah, you did. We saw the whole thing."

Grim: "I didn't wanna do that! My body moved on its own!"

Ace: "Just cut it out already, man. If you wanted a smaller sandwich you could've just said so earlier."

Grim: "Fnyaagh, no one believes me?! Henchman, just get that guy already! I swear, he did steal it!"

Ice Bear: "...Ice Bear will share food."

Grim: "Fnyaagh...."

• Despite complaining about the loss of his sandwich, Grim ate most of your food. You think that this might be the time that you must go grocery shopping in order to save money and pack lunches for the two of you.

• You've heard about Sam's Shop from the ADeuce. Since the shop has almost everything a student needs, you decided to stop by on the way home and shop there.

Sam: "Hi there! Oh, you must be the monst-- I mean, Bear I've heard about so much! Welcome to my shop! If you need anything, just ask me."

Ice Bear: "...Ice Bear needs food."

Sam: "Aha! Then that'll be on that aisle over there. Anything else?"

Ice Bear: "Nothing. Ice Bear says thank you."

Sam: "Hahaha! You're one funny bear!"

Ice Bear: "?"

• You didn't mind Sam's comment and just strolled through the aisles. You take a nearby shopping bag and fill it with all the things you need for this month as long as it fits your budget. You spot a can of tuna and thought of Grim, so you reached out for it. Your paw stopped after you feel a hand reaching for the can.

Ice Bear: "?"

Ruggie: "Wha..."

Ice Bear: "..."

Ruggie: "....."

Ice Bear: "......."

Ruggie: "...Uhh hey... You takin' that one?"

Ice Bear: *nods*

Ruggie: "Sorry but I really need this thing, y'know, and uh, this is the last can..."

Ice Bear: "..."

• You don't seem to show any movement of letting the can go, so Ruggie thought of two ways to get it. First way is to make up a convincing excuse...

Ruggie: "Look, I get how much you need the can but I have to get this can. You see, Professor Trein ordered me to fetch this for him so he can feed his cat, Lucius. And if I don't do it, he'll give me a failing mark... So please, could I have this?"

Ice Bear: "..."

• Your paw is still holding on to the can as well as Ruggie's hand. Ruggie awaited for an answer from you but you still won't let go. For some reason... You think that Trein is NOT the type of person that just abuses their status for his personal gain. You stared at Ruggie and your instincts tell you that he's tricking you. You take the can and apologized.

Ice Bear: "....Ice Bear is sorry for you."

Ruggie: "Wait, hey!... Ugh..."

• Welp, looks like the old sad excuse failed. Now there's only one way... Take and run for it!

Ruggie, pointing: "Hey look over there!"

Ice Bear: "?"

Ruggie: "Shishishi!"

• You looked at where Ruggie pointed and the hyena beastman saw an opening. He steals the can before you could react.

Ruggie, running: "Better luck next time!"

Ice Bear: "!"

• You ran after him but it looks like he has experience in running away more than you think. You ran to an aisle displaying pencils and pens. Quickly, you take three unsharpened pencils and threw them at Ruggie before he could ring up to the counter.

Ruggie: "Almost there-- ACK!"

• One behind his right knee, he slows down...

Ruggie: "H-hey... OUCH!"

• Next one at his hand, he drops the can...

Ruggie: "GAH!"

• Last one at the nape, he collapses...

Ruggie: "...Uhh...."

• You take the can after you send him a glare. Fortunately, Sam and the counter are two aisles away so he couldn't hear the commotion. You place your items on the counter and Sam handed your change.

Sam: "Thanks for shopping here! May I also interest you in these buy-one-take-one bags?"

Ice Bear: "Ice Bear is fine."

Sam: "Alright! Have a nice da-"

Ruggie: "Damn. All that for a tuna can?"

Ice Bear: "😠"

Sam: "E-excuse me, are you ok?"

Ruggie: "Yeah, this guy just got his hand on the last tuna can."

Sam: "Ah! Darn it, I forgot to restock those..."

• ... So yeah, another bad first impression but hey, after the whole Savanaclaw Trying To Cheat fiasco, you two actually managed to get along. Sometimes.

• That one time when you and him are partnered up for Chemistry class, you avoided him. Then you realize that you have zero knowledge on potion making which resulted in failure. Ruggie laughed and offered to teach you, only if you apologize and give him something in return. Although you labeled him as a 'scumbag thief' as Grim says, you don't want to have a failing grade. Reluctantly, you accepted.

• Ruggie happily chowwed down on the food you made for him. He's never eaten anything that good for a long time. Either you owe him or not, he'll steal food from you now. Good luck.

• If Ruggie owes you something, then it's going to be him handing you test answers from when he was a first year. Aside from giving him food, you also help him around Monstro Lounge. He keeps pushing you away from the kitchen to waiting duty because he doesn't want Azul or Jade see you cook. If they find out about your talent, that'll blow away his chance to get free food, now won't it?

[fancyfeathers]

Always Prey But Never A Bird

Based on the Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling series

Previous Chapter <- Chapter Thirteen -> Next Chapter

Taglist: @jsprien213 @toast-on-dandelioms @plsfckmedxddy @lilyalone @sydneyyyya @yandere-wishes @cxcilla @nemesis-writer @sadslasher13

You remember standing in the corner of some large social hall for some sort of charity gala that was being held that your family was invited to attend, of course an event would never be complete without your family’s presence, especially your father. You could not drink yet so these events could not be dulled down for you in the slightest. You were the only one who came, your brothers and sisters got off from going by covering your father’s patrol until the party was over and you prayed for it to be over so you could go back to the manor. Your father was talking to some old former politician and during their conversation you had been able to slip away or rather your father let you slip away, he knew exactly what you were doing after all he always did. 

You recognized a few people at the party, mostly just faces you commonly saw at these sort of events like the mayor, Lucius Fox on occasion, Harvey Dent before his accident, but most of these people really did not know you besides your reputation as Bruce Wayne’s little daughter, his princess, though now that did not fit you much anymore as you were almost eighteen, you were a young woman at this point in your life. 

Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, you turned your head around to the person standing next to you that you failed to notice, Gabriel Christel, your boyfriend that only your mother approved of you having. You glanced around again, your father was still in a conversation with his back facing you and he stood probably a hundred feet away, he would not notice right away that you were gone. You turned to Gabriel and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him along and out of the party and into the back halls of the hotel the party was being held at, your fast walking turning into strolling once you reached where no one would be able to see you.

“You didn’t tell me that you would be here.” You spoke to him with a smile and he laughed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his suit jacket. “Last minute invite?”

“No, my mom had a meeting tonight and she sent me to go instead, the heir of the family and all.” He sighed, glancing up at some of the old paintings on the hotel’s walls. “I hoped to talk to some potential models for my mom’s new line but it seems they aren’t exactly interested in talking business with, oh what did she call me again… right, an attractive and single young man.”

“Well one of those two things is certainly not true.” You teased, your arms coming to wrap around his left arm as you walked down the hall, resting your head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re eighteen.”

“Hm… your birthday is in a month, you’ll be an adult too, I’m only two months older than you.”

“I don’t think it really matters if I am an adult or not, my old man hardly lets me out of the house these days, especially after that one Joker incident two weeks ago, so I doubt he’ll let me go to university or anything like that, especially out of state.” You hummed, the vibrations of your voice rumbling against his suit jacket. “Where are you thinking about for college?”

“I think I’m gonna go to Gotham City University.”

“What?” His answer shocked you, he was going to be the valedictorian of your class and especially at your school that was practically a guarantee to go wherever he wanted. “Didn’t you get accepted into a few Ivy league schools or what about the foreign exchange you told me about the other day-”

“I am staying in Gotham because of what is in this city, my family, my future, my inheritance, and most importantly you are here.” You felt your face heat up at his words and he smiled, leaning over to rest his head on top of your own. “If you can’t go somewhere with me then I will stay here with you.”

“You are sometimes too romantic, you know that right?” 

“Mmm, ya.” He laughed, you could feel his warm breath tickling your hair and the top of your head. “But is it too romantic to tell you I would burn the world for you?”

“A bit cheesy, and don’t tell my dad that, he would probably never let you within a mile of me again.”

“I would like to see him try.”

…

If you knew what he actually meant by that.

______________________

It was surprisingly cold as Gabriel led you down the hallways or wherever the hell you were, the air felt cold and it did not help that you were only wearing stockings to cover your feet as you walked down the marble floor beneath you, when you were changed out of your suit you were laying in a bed and you don’t exactly wear shoes to bed, there were probably shoes in the room you woke up in most likely in one of the dresser drawers or stored underneath the bed, but you honestly were too out of your own head because of the after effects of the drugs to even thing to look there. So now as you walked down the hallway there was the soft pitter patter of your thin cloth covered feet following behind Gabriels dress shoes which made a soft click against the marble floor

As you turned a corner you noticed there was a vast increase in the temperature which only got warmer as you approached a set of heavy wooden doors. Gabriel let go of your hand so he could push open the set of doors and your eyes went wide with what you saw, honestly you did not know how to even explain it. The room was entirely marble, but on the ground you saw what looked to be red coffins embedded into the marble floor and it was not just a few of them, but rows and rows of red coffins.

“What… what is this?” You watched as Gabriel walked ahead of you, slowly, looking down at the red coffins as he reached up to remove his mask, seeing a gleeful look in his eye as he did so.

“I always felt I recognized your brother from some place, your oldest brother, Richard.” You watched him pause in his tracks, looking down at one particular red coffin, a heavy look of disdain in his eye. “Now my parents never took me to the circus because they found it tacky, but now to say the court has dealings everywhere and well we need something strong to back up our words.”

“These… these are like that assassin…” You glanced down at a red coffin at your feet, your face cringing at the thought of what may be inside, a living person maybe or perhaps something that is already dead or somewhere in between the two, undead or like something similar to a Lazarus Pit that is used by your half brother’s grandfather. “Talons, right? But what does this have to do with Dick?”

“Hmm you know the rhyme… that makes me glad…” His words did not match his emotionless glare but his lack of care in his face was not aimed at you but whoever was inside that red box. “Did you know that your brother was supposed to become a Talon… but then his parents were killed and your father took him in, tragic really he did have so much potential.”

“He… he was a child when that happened…” You paused in your words and slowly turned about the room, taking in the sight of the rows upon rows of perfectly aligned red coffins. “You groom children into becoming assassins… oh my god…”

“We aren’t the only ones who have committed such a sin, besides it is for the greater good, and not all of them were children, and on top of that most of them did this willingly.” Gabriel shook his head, his arms crossing and his grip on his mask growing tighter and you were sure that if it were a more fragile material it might have broken. “I should have known that you would not have understood.”

“You are right… I don’t understand and no one should because this is sick.” There was a moment's pause between your words and you swallowed down hard, maybe too hard that your ears popped a little bit. “I don’t want anything to do with this, this is not helping Gotham, it is destroying it, you are going to rip this city to shreds and nothing will be left standing especially if you try to try to destroy the league… you will not win because they will just keep coming back again and again.”

“And that’s not your problem anymore, after all you did promise me that when we get married you will get rid of the mask and also trust me when I say the other members of the court will not exactly welcome you because of your recent actions, and besides I like seeing your face too much and a mask would just hide that, but if you decided to be transparent with me, even after four years, I should be transparent with you as well.” He took a step forward towards you, spinning around his white owl mask in his right hand. “And do not worry about the League of Assassins my dear, after all when they come into my city and threaten my court, then I will tear them apart limb from limb.”

“You won’t get the chance with Ra’s Al Ghul, he will destroy you…” You glanced around again, wondering why they were in red coffins of all things. Ra’s Al Ghul was immortal because of the Lazarus Pit, but there was no Lazarus Pit in Gotham to your knowledge, and they would not be in coffins if they were mortal or just regular assassins. “...This is because of what you are doing here… Talons are partially immortal aren’t they? That’s why the League is in Gotham, because they found out about this and don’t want a potential threat to their mission.”

“Sometimes I wish you were not so smart, but unfortunately they are indeed not perfect, but after this they will be.” With those words Gabriel just confirmed they do have a weakness, a weakness that would most likely be their undoing, you did not exactly feel bad about killing a bunch of undead assassins. You watched as Gabriel glanced around the coffins as if trying to find a certain one as he walked over to you, his hand coming to snake around your waist. “I know your brother’s great grandfather is around here somewhere, and I believe I remember hearing about a certain one of his targets… your great great grandfather if I am correct, funny isn’t it? Family history.”

“I really do not find it that funny.” You also did not find it exactly funny that the League of Assassins were your allies now. You mentally paused, you did not have your things that you had when you were kidnapped, which included the scarf Talia gave you on behalf of her father, the sight of it would definitely ring alarms for any member of the League of Assassins. “Gabriel…”

“Yes?”

“I had a scarf with me under my suit… Do you have it?”

“Hmm… I do not, it must have fallen out, I can always buy you a new one, love.”

“No it’s fine… it was just from someone important.”

It was only a matter of time before one of them found that scarf and either Ra’s Al Ghul or Talia Al Ghul would lose it and come looking for you and you would make your escape before the smoke cleared. The worst case scenario was if you were not able to get away in time and Ra’s or Talia decided to grab you like a kitten by the scruff of your neck and make the decision that you were not able make choices for yourself after somehow getting yourself kidnapped after you decided to lie to Damian and sneak out to Arkham Asylum. Honestly, you did not want to see an upset Ra’s Al Ghul or Talia Al Ghul, for all you knew you could be waking up halfway across the world in a compound of the League of Assassins.

______________________

Clove stood on top of the building, patrolling and investigating, paired off with Robin and Nightwing. It was nearing dawn and Clove at least had never been out on patrol for this long before, she yawned, her arms stretching up like a cat and both heads of the young men turned to her and your friend went red in the face. “Sorry, long night, you all know how it is.”

“Ya, we do.” Nightwing replied, patting her on the back as they walked across the empty rooftop, attempting to figure out where you went and find a path you may have left behind. There was another long draw of silence before Nightwing spoke up again. “You don’t seem the type to be doing this sort of thing, you seem like a good kid, why are you here?”

“I… I don’t really like talking about my past… but it’s been awhile since it happened…” Clove sighed, crossing her arms, normally she would not talk about this sort of thing but the exhaustion and stress was finally getting to her. “My mom died a few years back from a terminal disease, it’s genetic so chances I’ll get it too. I was tired of being treated like I was gonna break if I breathed wrong, I wasn’t sick yet so decided I wanted to do something useful with my life before I go. The Police Academy wouldn’t take me because I didn’t pass their physical exam at the time so now I’m here, definitely would pass it now.”

“I’m sorry, that must have been hard for you.”

“You’re not sorry, after all you treat your sister the exact same way.” Clove pushed Nightwing’s hand away, walking off closer to the roof’s edge to move on. “She’s told us the stories, but actually it was worse for her.”

The two other vigilantes watched her swing off the rooftop and Damian grew a scowl on his face at Clove’s all too real words, he glanced up at the older hero and Nightwing had an uncomfortable look on his face as he watched Clove swing onto another rooftop. “I don’t like her.”

“Give it a rest, she’s helping us.”

______________________

Bruce walked back into his shared bedroom, it was easily mid morning by now and Bruce was only forced back upstairs to rest by Alfred with the promise that Barbara and Tim would work with Mr. Austen to try to follow any leads on your location before they all head out again. Your -;/;mother was sitting up in bed, having been oblivious to the current situation of your disappearance, as far as she knew you had left of your own freewill and they were just trying to pin you down again. She was reading a newspaper and was still in her pajamas, clearly having woken up.

“Good Morning, Bruce.” She spoke up, she set her newspaper aside on the side table rather quickly as Bruce stepped over to press a kiss just above her brow. He had already showered and changed from patrol so he slid into bed alongside his wife. “Long patrol tonight, did something happen?”

“Nothing you need to worry about right now.” He groaned and wrapped one of his muscular arms under her arm and up her back, pulling her close to him, tucking her head under his chin. “Just go back to sleep, I’ve got you.”

She honestly did not want to go back to sleep, one of the many things she hated about her marriage was the messed up sleep schedule she got from sleeping in the same bed as Bruce, coming home in the early mornings and just wanting to hold her when he was drifting off as if he was scared she was going to disappear all over again like she did when she called off their original engagement over twenty years ago.

“Hm… Alfred got you the paper already?” Bruce spoke, reaching for the newspaper but in a quick reaction your mother pulled him close, wrapping her own arms around him as if an attempt to stay warmer. Bruce narrowed his eyes at him, it was not unusual for her to do this especially when the manor could be quite cold, but it was her accelerated heart rate that indicated to him that something was most definitely wrong. Bruce just let out a heavy sigh before he shifted, sitting up in bed and letting go of his wife and she could only watch as Bruce reached over for the newspaper, and when he picked it up there was an additional weight to it, and out of the newspaper fell a piece of paper, a letter, but no envelope so it meant that it was hand delivered, someone did not want risking anyone reading the contents of it. Bruce picked it up the letter and glanced the contents over, words and phrases like ‘your daughter’, ‘Arkham Asylum’, ‘divorce’, ‘blackmail’, ‘potential abuse case’ caught is eye long with the handwriting, it was clearly Harvey Dent, he must have bribed a guard at Arkham to get it delivered. 

“Bruce, I-”

“I don’t want to hear it right now.” Bruce cut off his wife, he stood up again from bed, he did not even look at her. Bruce knew that it was not his wife who made contact, it would have been impossible for her to do so, this was the work of you, their daughter. “I have to make some calls  to the head of Arkham Security and to the GCPD, just… just stay here right now, we need to talk later.”

[mellowdisko]

Vulpes Inculta headcanons 👀👀

oh gladly! i've been waiting for this moment.

vulpes is young—far younger than most would expect. like in his early twenties. his age leads people to often mistake him for just another low-ranking legionary, dismissing him outright until he reveals his rank as summus frumentarius. but rather than seeing this as a hindrance, he uses it to his advantage in espionage: disguising himself as a farmboy from arizona or a green NCR recruit.

as I said in this post, i do believe vulpes to be a religious man. he was raised by priestesses, within the cult of mars and knows no other way of life. his faith is absolute, a fanaticism that drives him to follow its teachings without question, gladly committing atrocities in the name of his gods. yet, he does not make a spectacle of his faith when it comes to personal practices. he prays in silence, visits temples alone. and he prays a lot, especially in battle or before undertaking a dangerous task.

he also prays for his own men—asking that they return from their missions both victorious and alive. maybe he cares for them; maybe there is a small part left in him that aches when he sends them into the bear's land, a part that keeps him up at night, a part that makes him smile when they radio in for report. maybe they’re the older brothers he never had growing up, maybe he does want them to survive, maybe there is some love in that. or maybe he just hates losing any reliable tools of the legion, simply hates being wasteful with his resources. no one really knows.

as said in the post he is superstitious too, especially when it comes to "omens" he sees in nature. like he'll rather walk all the way across the mojave than to go through a shortcut a vulture flew over. lucius constantly mocks him for this (also like I mentioned in the linked post my hc for lucius is that he's too old to have grown up into the legion's religion. he was raised with science rather than cultish teachings, making him far more rational than the younger legionaries.) vulpes acts indifferent about lucius’s skepticism, but deep down, it unsettles him. like a lot.

he dislikes working in the strip or any other urbanised areas like that. he's more of a “child of the desert”, the city doesn't suit him.

he probably doesn't enjoy enclosed spaces overall, doesn't feel too comfortable with a roof over his head. unlike most other frumentarii assigned to new vegas, he has no fascination with luxury or comfort. he'd prefer to sleep on the desert floor rather than wake up to a greasy casino ceiling. he hates the neon lights and the tall buildings. hates the noise, the crowd, the "degeneracy". he doesn’t belong to vegas. he loves the wasteland, that untamed emptiness waiting to be conquered; he loves wandering, trekking through it—taking the fox act a little too seriously.

but that does not mean he disregards the old world as a whole, no, I think he'd find it interesting, alluring even—collecting every small piece of it he's allowed to have in legion land. novels, cassettes, maps...nothing radical enough to be seduced by a world outside the legion but faded fragments of a forgotten era just loved enough to be cherished and be tucked away into a corner of his tent.

vulpes has a natural aptitude for languages. he is probably fluent in multiple tribal dialects and has used that talent for the legion's benefit since we know the frumentarii do act as ambassadors. caesar secretly hates this part about him because it reminds him of a particular someone with blue eyes who too was also good with languages.

definitely hates chess with a burning passion. he thinks it is redundant and naive because warfare is not two neat lines of soldiers marching toward each other on an even playing field. the structure of turns, limited moves and pieces frustrates him. he thinks you have to be unfair in war, deceive, be unpredictable, and strike when the enemy least expects it, win by cheating basically. he's also terrible at it which is definitely not a reason for this dislike.

[wisteria-lodge]

wait there are no house elves in malfoy manor? i mean it's possible that during the time voldemort and the others where there the house elves could just be in prison or they are there and jkr just didn't mention them

because let's say there aren't house elves and voldemort and the death eaters are there, who would have prepared the meals or whatever things guest needs when they visit or stay in someone's house

In Harry Potter, we see a few strategies for maintaining and running a magical house. Let’s break it down.

OPTION ONE: NON-MAGIC PEOPLE vs HOUSE ELVES

Yep, we are going to be dropping some Filtch lore today.

So in canon, it’s really hard to explain why that man (who isn’t able to do magic) has that job (caretaking an entire magical castle.) But I’m going to do my best to make it work. Because pre Statute of Secrecy, it actually makes a lot of sense that old medieval buildings like Hogwarts and Malfoy Manor would have been staffed by muggles. 

I mean, the only reason you build castles (big, easily defensible fortresses) is so they can be the last line of defense if anything happens to the serfs who are renting/farming your land. The peasants supply food/clothes/weapons/luxury products to the Lord of the manor/castle, and in return they are protected (in theory.) That’s feudalism. If anything, being a wizard would just make you a better Lord. There’s no way the Malfoys or the Founders would have been sitting at the center of a community of only wizards, there aren’t enough wizards. Also, if you want someone to run/maintain your house and you’re choosing between Muggles and house-elves… in a lot of cases, muggles are actually better.

Like okay, house-elves are slaves, which means they would be cheaper than Muggle peasants, but like… not a lot cheaper. Also, there’s got to be some upfront cost of time/money/effort in order to catch a house-elf and bind them to your house. Once you start getting generations of house-elves that’s not a problem, but when you’re setting up a household… yeah I think getting in a staff of muggles would be quicker and easier.

The other thing house elves have in their favor is that they’re really really powerful. A single house-elf is much more effective than a single human servant. But… they’re also kind of too powerful? If you have a human servant who betrays you, does a bad job, or that you just don’t like… you can fire them, imprison them, and (if you’re a wizard) oblivate them so they can’t tell anyone your secrets. 

None of that works with house-elves. Unlike a human you can’t bribe them (because they have a culture that doesn’t value money.) You can’t imprison them (because whatever magic prevents wizards from apparating doesn’t work on them. Dobby gets in and out the Malfoy dungeons just fine.) I’m also assuming you can't obviate them, because if you COULD then oh my god, Barty Crouch Senior would have 1000000% obviated Winky. 

Until house-elves are freed they do seem to have some magical compulsion that prevents them from speaking ill of their masters…  but they can clearly still mess their masters up pretty badly if they want to. Dobby spends all of Book 2 undermining Lucius. Kreacher spends all of Book 5 undermining Sirius (and honestly is the catalyst for the Battle of the Department of Mysteries.) This doesn’t even seem out of the ordinary: Tom Riddle framed Hokey for Hepzibah Smith’s murder, and apparently everyone bought it. That's another reason a muggle would be a solid choice: even if they wanted to kill a wizard, it would be nearly impossible. But Kreacher and the Hogwarts house-elves actively fight wizards during the Battle of Hogwarts.

So if you have a house-elf that you can’t trust, basically your only option is to free them. Which is bad, because they know all your secrets and can now talk to whoever they want (Dobby absolutely bad-mouths the Malfoys after he's freed. And it’s super plausible that Winky could’ve said something about Barty Junior while she was smashed off Butterbeer.) So really… the only truly safe option is to kill them. And it seems like you have to kill them, by hand, with a sword. The Blacks did sign up for this, and we can see their wall of decapitated house-elf heads as proof. House elves do make more sense for the Blacks, because I'm thinking if they became powerful at around the same time as the Statute, they would have been setting up new muggle-less households, not adapting old ones to the new paradigm. But then, not everyone is as hard-core as the Blacks. The Malfoys, for example, actually seem quite squeamish about violence. Also, Draco is very happy to refer to what Hagrid does as "servant stuff," which means he's comfortable with that particular worldview.

Now, Hogwarts has house-elves, and they certainly don’t seem to kill them. Of course it's a school rather than a house - if one of those elves went rouge, what damage could they really do? Compare that to Dobby. Like, if he wanted to put Lucius Malfoy in Azkaban… he could've given some really damning evidence. Lucius Malfoy’s defense was that he was under the Imperius curse. Dobby knows that’s not true. Dobby knows where all the contraband in that house is, Dobby knows that diary belonged to Voldemort, he knew Lucius was threatening Hogwarts on purpose... Maybe elves aren’t allowed to testify in front of the Wizangamot, but Dobby - bring that info to Arthur Weasley. Bring it to Dumbledore. If I were Lucius Malfoy, I would be terrified. Even if I had other house elves, I don’t know if I’d keep them around after second year. Definitely not after Kreacher went rouge and betrayed Sirius, which *Narcissa* knows all about.

Hogwarts also has Filch (and Hagrid, who *also* can't do magic, at least on paper.) And I guess I could see an interpretation where if Hogwarts was initially designed to be run by Muggles, then maybe there are certain functions of the castle that can only be performed by Muggles. Like we all know there’s something weird going on with Mrs. Norris. She’s too smart, she’s the only animal who shows up on the Marauder’s map, she’s telepathically bonded with Filch. So, maybe she is the manifestation of some magical function that oversees the castle, and maybe you need someone without magic to properly access her magic. Like if a witch/wizard tried to bond with her, their magic gets in the way of the castle’s magic. I’ll buy that. 

Eventually though, Salazar Slytherin started becoming wary of Muggles, so maybe he started a process of phasing out any muggle servants working in the castle and replacing them with house-elves. That makes sense to me. And if the castle needed non-magic workers… squibs would be a good compromise. 

OPTION TWO: AUTOMATED MAGIC

So we know you can cast a spell on an object, and then that object will just sit and do nothing until the spell is triggered. Fred and George’s hats don’t do anything until you put them on - and then they turn your head invisible. You are not doing anything to cast the spell, it’s all in the hat.  Presumably their cloaks and gloves that deflect curses work the same way. 

We see a lot of this kind of delayed-action magic when it comes to magical protections for locations. Dumbledore has spelled Grimauld Place to send specters at anyone who comes through the door. Muggle-repelling charms don’t do anything until a Muggle is in proximity. Voldemort’s inferi cave is filled with magical objects that don’t activate until certain conditions are met. Also, these are not single-use protections that you need to replace every time they’re triggered. Once they're set up, it seems they keep working until they're taken down.

We also know there are plenty of spells that make running a household easier. We see Mrs. Weasley use spells to cook, to make clothes, she has whole books full of household magic. So my thought is - if you can bewitch the outside of a house to respond to certain conditions, then why not the inside of a house? How hard would it really be to bewitch a fireplace so it turns on every time someone walks into the room? I bet you could get beds that make themselves, carpets that clean themselves, make it so that certain meals are always cooked at certain times, and served in specific places. The house probably cycles through a set number of meals, and some of the food options would be slightly eccentric because that piece of food-magic was set in 1702. But it all seems very doable, in a programmable smart-house sort of way. Especially if you’re the Malfoys and have nothing but money, time, and a love of the ~*~*aesthetic*~*~ Because the aesthetic of a house like this would be absolutely peak. Very spooky fairytale, invisible servant, romantic Beauty-and-the-Beast vibes. 

I think this is the option that Malfoys would have chosen, when they no longer had access to Muggles to run their house for them. Apart from the heightened security and a cooler aesthetic, the Malfoys were very against the Statute of Secrecy, so I bet that (for a while at least) they were kind of hoping that it would be reversed and things would go back to the way they were. So, not as motivated to start building up a household staff of house-elves, which is a pretty irreversible decision. 

The Malfoy also like to keep secrets. In the present day of the book, we know they have contraband cursed objects, contraband poisons, a hidden room to keep all of their contraband in underneath the drawing room floor. I don’t think this is a particularly recent state of affairs. Going back to the 1700s, if the Malfoys were ordered to cut off all these very profitable ties with the muggle world… yeah they’re not doing that. They are definitely hiding income coming in from the muggle world, or muggle retainers that they were kind of supposed to obviate and didn’t. 

In the main timeline of the books, I think it makes a lot of sense that Dobby is a Black family house elf that came over with Narcissa when she and Lucius were first married. And I say that because… Dobby is a mess, and Lucius Malfoy puts a lot of stock in looking good while out in public. The Hogwarts house elves look neat and presentable. Winky’s tea-towel toga looks clean and neat. Dobby is shambling around in a snot-stained torn pillowcase, is Lucius not embarrassed? 

My thought is that he kind of resents Dobby: he’s the Black family passive aggressively saying that Lucius can’t take care of Narcissa, or maybe he suspects that the Blacks are sending Dobby over as a spy. But whatever the reason, he can’t get rid of him - first because he doesn’t want to offend his in-laws (Dobby as the equivalent of an ugly lamp that you keep in the closet unless the people who gave you the lamp are visiting.) Then Dobby witnesses the entire first war, which makes him way, way too much of a liability to free. 

So that’s my answer. tl;dr - the Malfoys are a very private family with a long-standing distrust of the Ministry, with a house that was set up to be run by Muggles. It makes the most sense that they have retrofitted that house with automated magic, until it’s basically able to run itself. And then, whenever they’re throwing an event, or something a little too complicated for the house's magic to handle… they just hire in a staff of wizards to work one or two nights.

[grimst4rs]

“Mother,” Regulus looked up, cutting into his steak, “have you perhaps discussed with The Dark Lord Sirius’ initiation into his ranks?”

“No—” Walburga started.

“It’s not necessary, Mother.” Sirius said, decisively, twisting his knife between his fingers.

“You shall not play with your cutlery,” Orion snapped, and Sirius barely spared him an arrogant, haughty glance.

“Well, you probably should. Lucius said—”

“Lucius is a skank,” Sirius hissed, his cutlery hitting the table with a clink, “and if you were not such an ignorant, ass-kissing wanker, you would know that too.”

“Language,” Walburga warned him, yet made no further comment.

“You should believe yourself lucky The Dark Lord wants you,” Regulus rolled his eyes at him, “because it is an honour that should not have been bestowed upon you. I, if I were you, would have accepted his proposition in a heartbeat.”

“He didn’t request you to join him because you’re not good enough to,” Sirius snickered, leaning on the two back legs of his chair.

“Stop this madness right now!” Orion said, through gritted teeth.

“That is false!” Regulus snapped, sitting up suddenly. “It is so because I am not old enough. And considering the fact that you associate with all of the halfbloods and the halfbreeds, you ought to—”

“Oh, because Snape’s a high almighty pureblood, is that so?” He asked, standing up too, much taller than his brother. “Or shall I mention Crouch, whose father’s openly against what you deem so noble?”

“That is enough!” Walburga exclaimed. “You are dismissed, both of you.”

“With pleasure.” Sirius pushed back his chair right as Regulus did, glaring daggers at his older brother.

Regulus stepped out of the dining room first, not before Sirius tripped him up, chuckling as he stumbled, redressed himself and scoffed at his older brother.