#of course i cried during that final episode

[oifaaa]

Suzaku should of stayed lost in the soup aisle fr

The reason why it took them two months between winning the war and suzaku actually killing lelouch is bc suzaku was lost looking for clothes in the soup store

[sysig]

Anime good :) (Patreon)

[fujosh1dreamer]

I really didn't want this episode to get me but...it did.

Cried like a baby for the last two minutes despite knowing what was coming.

Stolas crying here was just painful you could tell how hard he was trying to keep it together. It's especially painful because screaming at him and basically calling him a rich, selfish, jerk just reaffirmed stolas's fears that he expressed earlier in the episode.

During the song stolas expresses that if blitz is only with him because of the contract that would make him a monster.

Both of their feeling are valid of course but you can tell that blitz yelling at him in the end really is the final straw.

On the other hand blitz's own desperation is painful to watch.

He only believes that his worth lies in what he can bodily offer stolas. While stolas thinks blitz just doesn't like him or feel the same, in reality it's just his low self-esteem getting in the way.

It's all painful. Pls make up.

Here's some adorable fizz to fix our hearts!!!

He's so cute!

[geoviki]

Mo Guan Shan’s Big Feelings

Mo Guan Shan, resident tsundere of 19 Days, pretends to be tough and hard-hearted.  But he’s easily and frequently reduced to tears, as we soon realize.  In fact, he cries so often in the story that this post is pretty massive.

MGS cries as a child, of course.  He’s in a clinic in his mom’s arms when She Li first becomes obsessed with him (ch 294).

MGS has a bad dream about the day his dad told little Guan Shan he couldn’t come to the school’s robot fair (ch 392).

MGS cries in other dreams too.  Soon after meeting He Tian, he has a sensual dream of being comforted in He Tian’s arms after being bullied.  Look closely – there are little tears falling as He Tian assures him he’s the “most invincible badass.” (ch 250)

True to form, he cries in the Santa fantasy extra when his house is destroyed (ch 345).

MGS cries when he’s frustrated, like in this episode after the play when he can’t untie himself to pee (ch 359).

MGS is a weepy drunk as well.  After accidentally destroying Brother Qiu’s bike (ch 427), he drunkenly sobs in bed as he vows to somehow repay him. 

Later, while MGS is still drunk, He Tian slips and falls while carrying him, ripping Mo’s pants in front of He Cheng (ch 429).  MGS cries from embarrassment.

Unsurprisingly, MGS cries over his dad.  After He Tian unknowingly brings him to dinner at what is probably his father’s former restaurant, we see a young MGS in flashback crying in fear at the chaos around him.  Present-day MGS flees and He Tian finds him crying in the parking lot (ch 217)

One of the more moving chapters shows MGS breaking down as he visits his father in prison for the first time (ch 240).

MGS cries from sheer anger in several chapters.  The earliest is when He Tian forces an unwanted kiss on him as a misplayed joke (ch 174-175).  He Tian is taken aback by Mo’s strong, tearful reaction.  It’s probably the first time someone doesn’t try to placate He Tian when he’s being a jerk, and he begins to take MGS more seriously after this.

MGS tries to end his friendship with He Tian after the school play that indirectly causes him to lose his meager job.  He Tian doesn’t help matters by waving money at him as they quarrel.  MGS weeps with anger and says, “Standing with you makes me feel like a failure.”  (ch 364)

He cries in anger once more as he watches incredulously as She Li incinerates his backpack (ch 368).  (She Li seems to walk around carrying gasoline like it’s no big deal – what’s up with that?)

MGS cries when he’s worried.  When he digs frantically through the mudslide during their ill-fated mountain hike, he thinks He Tian has been buried alive.  When He Tian calls out, MGS throws his teary self into He Tian’s arms (ch 329).

MGS’s worry is clear when the last violent fight with She Li is finally over and He Tian has won (ch 408).  The battle was so fierce that by the end He Tian is crying too, and soon they’re embracing (I sense a pattern here!)

MGS often cries when his emotions overwhelm him.  Early on, after MGS is rescued from the fiasco of agreeing to take the blame for a serious crime, He Tian tells him, “Don’t try to shoulder everything yourself.” (ch 188).  MGS tears up at the thought that someone like He Tian has his back.

MGS ends up full-on sobbing in He Tian’s arms (again) when he finally admits why She Li has a hold over him: because of the homeless man who tried to kill him (ch 319).

In one of the most traumatic scenes (and a personal favorite), both guys shed a lot of tears when He Tian finds him after She Li has tortured and burned him (ch 369-370).  These chapters mark a turning point in their relationship from friends to more.

MGS is shown when he’s happy only once, and that memorable event will happen in their future: that Christmas night when He Tian returns and proposes with matching rings (ch 412).  Cue the waterworks!

Thanks to all of the translators who provide the English versions of the story!

[radiowendigo]

Anxiety was dealing with multiple panic episodes lately. It wasn’t too uncommon for her. But, her employees noticed that she would grip onto her arms to the point it would take a huge amount of strength to help release herself. Anxiety had also been experiencing these same type of panic episodes during the night, which awakened some or all of the emotions.

Despite having been unavailable for many of them, Ennui has seen them all. She wasn't always sure what to say or do in these kinds of situations. She felt guilty because Anxiety had always been so encouraging, supportive, and nice to her. She wished she could do more for her beloved. What kind of friend was she?. Deep down, Ennui as well feared that the other emotions would sense her secret feelings for Anxiety and get leaked in some way. All she could do in those moments was sympathize with Anxiety and wish her negative thoughts would subside.

Ennui woke up first in the middle of the night, which was the first time she did during Anxiety’s recent episodes. She slowly removed her white face mask and heard muffled whimpers distant to where the console was. Ennui furrowed her eyebrows and quietly got out of bed, moving past the others so as not to wake them, and trailing the noises as it made her way to the console. Anxiety was kneeling down in front of the console, hyperventilating, hair messy, and once again, hugging herself, gripping onto her arms in a deadly grip. Ennui rushed to Anxiety and kneeled down to her level in front of her, and placed her hands on hers.

“Anxiety, breathe, mon ami. Slowly.” Ennui said gently but looked concerned.

“I-I-I’m trying!” Anxiety breathed in a frantic tone, triggering tears which slowly began spilling down her cheeks. Ennui shushed her and rubbed her hands in an upside down motion in attempt to soothe her.

“Breathe with me.”

Anxiety nodded rapidly and Ennui inhaled and exhaled deeply, her low voice giving Anxiety a pleasant tingling sensation. Her voice had always been one of her favourite things about her. It was just calming and reassuring to her. Anxiety tried to repeat her but struggled.

“Again.” Ennui said in an engorging tone. They did this excerise three more times and finally, Anxiety was breathing normally, but was still gripping her arms. Ennui did not let go her hands.

“Anxiety, please let go of your arms, mon douce, you’re hurting your pretty arms.”

More tears fell from Anxiety’s eyes and nodded slowly releasing them, while Ennui carefully tugged along with her. Finally, Anxiety released her arms making Ennui sigh out of relief. At this point she let go of Anxiety’s hands. Anxiety looked up at Ennui in her distressed state, shaking less.

“I-I’m sorry Ennui, I know I’ve been doing this a lot lately, I don’t know why, I feel so bad and I know I’m disturbing your sleep, and I know you need your rest for the morning, and that I should just find a way to handle it myself, and—-“

“Shhh, hush, mon cher. You don’t need to apologize. Viens ici dans mes bras.”

Ennui pulled Anxiety into her arms, resting Anxiety’s cheek on her chest, Anxiety enjoyed the soft material of her black shirt. Ennui wrapped her long arms around Anxiety and held her in a strong but comforting embrace. Anxiety cried softly now from the exhaustion of the situation. Ennui stroked through Anxiety’s messy strands with one hand in an attempt to comfort her more. After a while, Anxiety’s cries subsided and Ennui placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, which Anxiety noticed blushing furiously. But didn’t say anything not wanting to ruin the moment.

“Are you alright now, Anxiety?” Ennui asked softly.

Anxiety exhaled and looked up at the indigo emotion. Her eyes were fatigued, bangs had creeped out underneath them, and her cheeks were tear-stained but smiled.

“Yeah, I am. Thank you..” Anxiety replied weakly, looking down flustered.

Ennui smiled warmly and placed her hand on Anxiety’s right cheek and gently guided it back to her face.

“Of course. That’s what we’re here for, right? You are never a bother to us. It’s a part of who you are. But it’s how you deal with it what matters, and you are trying. I see it.”

The orange emotion just stared at her in awe, and her smile grew wider.

“Thank you, Ennui. You really are the best.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Anxiety looked at Ennui’s hand that was resting on her cheek and put her right hand on top of hers, and kissed her palm. Revealing a shocked glance and gasp from Ennui. Her cheeks now forming a dark blush herself.

“But I will, ma chere.”

Ennui swiftly pulled her in her arms again embracing her. Anxiety wrapped her arms around Ennui as well and ran her fingers through her long hair. A couple minutes passed and Ennui looked down at Anxiety.

“Anxiety? Are you ready to try and go back to sleep?”

Anxiety yawned.

“Yeahh. I’m exhausted.”

“We should get some sleep. We have to get up in a couple hours.”

“Can I please sleep with you tonight? I don’t want this to end yet and I don’t want to be alone.” Anxiety asked a little desperate in the end.

“Oui, oui. Of course. Come, allons-y.” Ennui said in a caring tone, grabbing Anxiety’s hand. She led her to her bed, the others were still knocked out. Ennui climbed and scooted to her right side of her bed and laid down on her left side. Anxiety climbed afterwords and laid down next to Ennui, trying to give her space. This only made Ennui pull her closer, making Anxiety release a soft yelp and rested her head on her chest again. Ennui’s arms wrapped around Anxiety and used one to yank the cover over them.

Anxiety yawned, her eyes heavy. Ennui smiled softly and kissed her forehead and the crown of her head gently.

“Sleep now, chere. Everything will be okay. I will be here if you need me.”

Anxiety nodded and shut her eyes, soon breathing softly but not with fear, indicating she fell asleep. Ennui placed a final kiss on her forehead and rested her chin on Anxiety’s head.

“Bonne nuit, mon amour.” Ennui whispered lovingly.

Ennui closed her eyes and the two emotions slept in each others embrace until Riley woke up. No one understood why Anxiety and Ennui were sleeping on the same bed but decided not to bring it up. Joy thought it was very sweet and couldn’t stop talking about it for a bit during that morning.

(Been having inside out/inside out 2 brain rot for the past week. I can’t stop looking, watching reading, content about it. It’s genuinely an amazing franchise. Also anxiety and ennui have been on my mind lately, ennui’s my fav lmao. I see the chemistry between these two. I’m a little embarrassed (No pun intended) to share this and thought it was a bit out of character on ennui’s part but reading over it so much I didn’t think so much. ANYWAYS enjoy to my anxiety and ennui lovers!! ^ ^)

They’re the first two women I’ve ever written while writing LMAO

And I don’t think I need to say but if there’s gonna be any hate, leave ‼️

[princessjadyn15]

ok I didn’t really want to make another post about Dark Beginnings since I’ve already made/rebloged a lot of posts related to it but I now feel like doing it since I recently saw someone make a dumb comment about it (they were probably saying it to get attention and rage bait or something but whatever I feel like this is an interesting analysis to do)

“its been 50 years, she's gone, get over it”

There’s just a lot wrong with this take

For 50 of those years he was in a stasis sleep. So to him Maria’s death and the trauma he went through when it happened was pretty recent, I don’t really know how much time has past between sonic adventure 2 and sonic x shadow generations but I’m gonna assume it’s been a couple years (one thing I do want to mention that I feel is a important point is that professor Gerald altered Shadow’s memories after Maria’s death, so that itself is already pretty traumatic considering Shadow probably trusted him during his time living on the ark)

he is going to the ark AKA the place where he experienced his trauma. Now this is kinda based on something someone else said but supposedly the last time he went to the Ark was in the Shadow the Hedgehog game, and he still kinda lost some of his memories. Now he is going back to ark Ark after pretty much recovering all his memories, even his painful ones

he is going up against Black Doom. The main reason he is going back to the ark is because he suspects that the black arms and Black Doom have returned, now I haven’t played the Shadow the Hedgehog game but from what I heard Black Doom was a very evil character, he took advantage of Shadow since he lost his memories and used him to get the chaos emeralds. Not only that but technically Black Doom is Shadow’s biological father since he was created using his DNA (Shadow has never actually called Black Doom father, at least as far as I know). And finally

PEOPLE 👏 EXPERIENCE 👏 TRAUMA 👏 DIFFERENTLY 👏 Now I’m going get slightly personal but as someone who has experienced something traumatic before (not as bad as Shadow’s and it’s different from what happened to him) just because you have moved on doesn’t mean the trauma is just gone, honestly as I was reading some analysis on the episode I for a moment actually thought about what I’ve been through and realized I kinda related to shadow in that moment (which is probably one of the reasons I cried), while I have moved on from what happened the trauma is still there and I may have moments where I remember it and feel sad about it, that’s kinda what was happening with Shadow, he was being reminded of the trauma on a big scale. The first episode was him have a “nightmare” of his trauma and now he has to go back to the ark and face Black Doom, and those visions of him thinking about the life he and Maria could of have, of course he is gonna have a small panic attack, I’ve even seen some people connect the scene with PTSD.

a bit of a bonus but I wanted to link this tweet that kinda inspired me to make this analysis in the first place. Some of the comments under the post are quite interesting and make a few good points

now I do want to point out that I’m still new to the Sonic fandom so it’s possible that some of things I’ve mentioned might of been incorrect or that I might of missed a few important parts, if that is the case I do apologize (I also apologize if there are any grammatical errors as well, I literally made this whole thing at like 9:30pm so I should be in bed lol)

[jianhue]

Information about William !! (Moral Orel oc)

Stuff you should know !

1. My English is HORRIBLE. I don't have the greatest vocabulary so most of my sentences are repetitive

2. His information might change over time.

3. Uhh idk if this needs any warning but there is some topics about trauma and stuff so watch out for that

4. This is written informally lol

5. I made this around midnight, there's some mistakes

Text form:

Basic information:

Name: William Boltspin

Age: 36

Occupation: Psychologist

Height: 5’11

Habits: over analysing people’s small gestures, thinking out loud, tripping on nothing when nervous, fidgeting, freezing when in put into a tight spot

Hobbies: Reading, watching stuff go down

Introduction:

Will is introduced as a new person in town. He recently moved in, and since nobody was willing to show him around, Orel did. But in a typical Moral Orel episode, something happens. In the good will of Orel, he shared a little too much. This kind of scared Will out, but he still stayed in the town. Mostly because he was fascinated by how the town was old-school. At first, he got along with the townspeople, but they soon realised they had different principles and ideals.

Seeing how he wasn't really attending the daily sermons, Orel took it upon himself to invite him to church. Will isn't really the type to go to church daily, but seeing how everyone was going and how eager Orel was to get him to attend the sermons, he started attending daily too. After an episode focusing on his move, he became a typical side character, only showing up on screen for a few scenes or just in the background.

Show appearances:

During season 1, aside from his little worries and complaints about the children in town having too much freedom, Will is seen acting fairly normal. He's been seen in church, walking to the doctor’s office, etc. Most of his appearance is just him passing by; sometimes he gives out advice that is a bit too vague.

In season 2, his concerns grow, and he starts to disagree with some of the other characters. He doesn’t get along with Reverend Putty much, but he does tolerate him. Will offers to babysit some of the children, mostly doughy or shapey. It’s mostly because he sees signs of neglect. Unfortunately, he does have work of his own, so he isn’t always there for them.

Upon learning about his profession, some started to doubt his faith. He still attends church even with people talking about him, and his only reason is because of Orel. Will does try to correct the behaviour of some people, but when he gets a bad response (which happens every time), he takes it back. Sometimes, mostly by accident, he does the same thing he criticises people for. Telling people not to yell in front of children or to not show any bad behaviour they can pick up.

He still bonds and gives some proper advice to Orel, but makes sure to keep him at arm's length. He’s afraid of being dragged into the things Orel does. But in an episode, he finally had the courage to join Orel. He follows him around and secretly does things so they avoid trouble. But of course, trouble does happen. Before Orel was taken to Clay’s study room, they made eye contact. Will felt responsible since he was an adult and he was around Orel the whole time. Even though he felt immense guilt, he was still too afraid to intervene. He mouthed the words “I’m sorry, Orel.” In the end, he became a bystander. Something he wished he never would be.

Season 3 is where Will’s mental health starts to deteriorate. He feels guilty for being so hypocritical. Feeling responsible for kids he isn’t even related to has taken a toll on him. Other adults also started to vent out their problems to him at the bar, hoping for some advice from Will.

His last scene is Orel finding him sitting at an alley next to Forghetty’s Bar. Will was drunk and cried to Orel about everything he hated, even calling Clay a bastard right in front of him. After that furious rant he calmed down and started muttering about how he “didn’t want to be like this” and that he’s sorry for being such a horrible person, a bystander, a hypocrite, a coward, a person he can’t rely on. He picks up his glasses and apologises before realising who he was dumping all his problems to. It was Orel. A child. He remembers his promise to himself, never burden a child with your problems. Not even as an accident. Not knowing what to do, he just froze and cried.

After that scene, Will would be seen avoiding children. He’s seen more often in the bar, mostly in the background or puking at the corner.

Upbringing:

As a kid, Will would be told to turn a blind eye to things that were not his business. Around his teenage years, he would witness a violent crime, but instead of helping, he just pretended he didn’t see anything and walked away. The person would later be found dead. Will couldn’t take it; he felt extreme guilt, blaming himself for not saving them or even just calling the police.

His mother also had violent outbursts, venting her problems to her son. He felt responsible for her, so he just took everything. Beatings, berating, everything. Will basically took care of her. His mother was a very judgmental woman, whispering to him about people around his neighbourhood. Will gaslights himself to think that it’s just his mother’s way of showing concern and affection. When he finished college, his mother passed away. He never actually bothered to find his father because his mother told him, “It’s not worth finding that bastard of a man." Will just followed what his mother said. But in the end, his own mother’s last words were, “I fucking hate that face of yours. You’re a spitting image of that fucking bastard.”

He already knew his mother actually hated him. He just denied it. But hearing it straight from her just made him lose it. Will swore to never treat a child like his mother did to him.

[rafyki]

About Jack, Joke, and forgiveness

This is one of the main themes of the show, and we're shown this from the very first episode. The whole show is about Joke fighting to get Jack's forgiveness up until episode 5 when he finally get it. But it goes deeper than that, I think; both of their stories are somehow about this, about learning to forgive.

(and it's not even just about Jack and Joke, of course; I think it's natural that in a show with such flawed characters who keep making mistakes forgiveness will be an important theme. but let's focus on the two of them for now or this will become way too long).

Let's start from Jack, because he's the most obvious one

This is one of the first thing we learn of him, he can hold a grudge forever, he doesn't know how to forgive

(and I wonder if Grandma knows this bc maybe Jack still holds a grudge against his parents. of course they did what they did to help him, but they ended up hurting him, both bc he lost his parents and bc they ended up trapping him in a life of debt. Oh no, sounds familiar?)

Jack has to forgive people who hurt him, twice during the show: one of them is Joke, of course, the other one is the Coach. Both are people who deeply hurt him in the past and whose actions toward him negatively influenced his life today. And yet his reactions to their apologies are fundamentally different.

With Joke is all uncontrolled anger, he's so furious he even says that if he wants to be forgiven Joke should try dying.

Yet this is how he reacts to Coach

He has such opposite reactions to those apologies, and I think its because of a few reasons. First, I think he realizes that his current predicament isn't actually Joke's fault; he resents him for giving him false hope, and I think in a way he resents himself for being so naive and falling for it, but he knows that he would have ended up in that situation with Boss anyway, with or without Joke. He's angry because he liked Joke and he lied to him, not because he blames him for what his life has become, he's angry bc Joke represented something good in his life that ended up being a lie, ended up being as horrible as everything else.

With Coach is different, bc Jack's current situation really is also his fault. If he hadn't been a slave to power, if he had been braver and stood up against Carbon and his father then maybe Jack would be in the national team and he would be free of debt and of Boss. Coach is yet another adult who Jack trusted and then betrayed him, yet another adult who's at fault for Jack's life being like that. Coach is a symbol of everything that went wrong in Jack's life because of people in positions of power. Before him and apology, Jack feels empty bc he lost hope in the world, and forgiving the Coach would mean nothing, as nothing means his apology.

Joke fights to get that forgiveness, and Jack can see that; Joke dirties his hands to try and help him, he doesn't back off and he keeps trying - but he doesn't do that for himself, he doesn't do that to find his own peace (bc, and I'll tackle this later, Joke doesn't forgive himself anyway), he does it for Jack - everything he does is for Jack, never for himself. He considers himself the reason Jack is in that position, and he wants to help him because he loves him. And he goes above and beyond to do so.

Coach, on the other hand, he goes to apologize to Jack because he's feeling sorry for himself, bc looking back maybe voting for Jack might have helped him. I'm not saying he doesn't care about Jack at all, but like, he doesn't care that much, he cares mostly about himself. And in fact he backs down right away, he doesn't try to help (until Joke goes to him), he just cries for himself. And Jack has no reason to forgive him, doesn't really have any reason to keep thinking about him at all.

So what changes? I think what changes is that Joke makes him hope again - hope for a better future, hope that not everything in the world is horrible, hope that he can let himself dream again.

And that's why he forgives him; he forgive him even before he admits it; I think by ep 4 he has already given in, and that's bc he saw that Joke is trying so hard, he saw that everything he's doing he's doing it for him, to give him a way out of that life; Joke is showing him hope for the future, something that I don't think Jack had for the past five years.

And that's when he forgives Coach too, when Joke pushes him to talk to him again. When Jack forgives him, it's when he's surrounded by hope, in the place that he can build his dream in, with someone who's ready to support him any way he can by his side.

Joke taught Jack to forgive because he gave him back his ability to hope. Jack has grown so much because of it, and it's clear.

Joke, on the other hand, is the opposite. Joke never had any troubles forgiving, he never holds grudges even when it would be natural to do so. We see that over and over again - first with Tattoo and Hoy when Tattoo steals the necklace; then again with Tattoo when he betrays them yet again; with Jack after Jack pushes him away; and even with his dad, whom he has every right to hate and never forgive, Joke doesn't hold any grudge against him, he even tells him there's no need to apologies. He forgives and forgives and forgives, over and over again.

The only one he can't forgive is himself, always himself.

So while Jack has to learn to forgive others, Joke has to learn to forgive himself. His growth is one of learning self-love and self-acceptance.

He's always the problem in his eyes. He never blames other bc he's always blaming himself. And that's why he's always so ready to throw himself head first into danger. Because he isn't good enough, he isn't worth it, but everyone else? Everyone else is so much more valuable than he is, and so maybe if he can help them then he can somehow prove that he might be worth something? It doesn't matter that he could be hurt or die for it. We also see this over and over again, since the very first episode when he tries to help Rose, even though he knows he can't fight.

He tries so hard, he always tries so hard, and yet he keeps fucking up somehow, he keeps not being enough - and it's not like everyone can be wrong, right? So he must be the problem

When he looks through his brother's social media and look through all those pictures, what he sees is a happy family a family that's so much better off without him. He was the problem, and when he left they were all happier.

I think the only time we see him acknowledging that something isn't entirely his fault is with his dad:

He says this, but at the same time I think he's still blaming himself - bc he became a thief and all that bc his father never supported or loved him, but it's still also his own fault for not being good enough. He's never good enough in his own eyes.

His wish is to not be a burden to the people he loves

And when he finally thinks he's getting there, when he starts to believe that he might have found his place, everything comes crashing down on him.

His first reaction when he hears about what's happening in Suphanimit is to blame everything on himself.

He doesn't hesitate a second before blaming himself, it doesn't matter that he couldn't have predicted this outcome, doesn't matter that Boss is the one ruining everyone's lives, it doesn't matter that there were three other people with him when he stole the ring, three people that could and should take part of the blame on themselves - no, because even the fact that Tattoo, Hoy and Aran were involved is Joke's fault. If Joke hadn't gone to Suphanimit nothing would have happened, everyone would be happier. And that's not true, we all know that's not true! Because despite everything everyone's life is actually so much better thanks to Joke - Hoy and Tattoo are free from debt, Aran found people who actually love him, Jack is finally free to live his life. They all got there thanks to Joke, yet Joke can't see it. It's his fault, after all. His self-hatred blinds him from see the bigger picture of what he was able to accomplish.

That's why he doesn't hesitate of telling Jack that it's his fault, that he betrayed him and everything is his fault. He's actually twisting the reality of things here, bc it's simply not true, not in the way he's saying it at least, he never betrayed Jack. But he simply can't see it. Joke sees the world in nuances and shades of grey until it comes to himself - when it comes to himself it's simply black and white, he doesn't allow himself a second thought. He's wrong, he's the problem, and in his eyes this is the umpteenth proof of that.

Jack learned to forgive, but Joke still has a long way to go before really learning that he needs to forgive himself. I think the last two episodes will give us this, Joke finally growing out of this maze of self hatred, he will learn to see that he is worth it, that he can't blame himself for simply existing. He'll finally learn to forgive himself, and I can't wait for it to happen.

[the-s1lly-corner]

How they deal with outliving you

Some angst I've been having on the brain; particularly for the characters that dont age/live for a long time + adding a new character to the base list!!

Obvious CW for loss of a loved one/partner + the grief that comes with it, cause of d3ath across all is by natural causes

S/o is mortal, of course

Slenderman;

Considering the fact that he's an ancient creature that's existed for lord knows how long, it was inevitable that he would outlive you

The concept of you one day being gone was something he already thought about before pursuing you romantically

I feel like out of all the ones on this list, he's the most calm about it, he isn't obviously broken up about the loss

That's not to say he doesn't care; he does. You were very likely his first love; and you will likely be his only love. It'd be a different story if your life was snatched away by someone else; but if it were something natural like for these scenarios, he grieves quietly. In fact, deaths in his woods temporarily slow down during this period

He has a designated area in the woods dedicated to you; flowers, pretty rocks, mementos, etcetera

He does 'guard' over your old home, for a while. That's likely the most drastic thing he'd do; he can't bare the idea of someone taking your place when the wound is still so fresh

Splendorman;

How ironic to add in this new character; someone so bubbly and sweet, with a prompt so... sad..

He doesn't handle it as smoothly as slenderman does; he's an absolute wreck. You were his absolute favorite person in the whole wide world, and just like that, you were gone

Is visibly wilted for a long time after your passing; only really putting on his usual happy face when he's needed

He cries, loudly, and he almost looks lost as he sits; almost as if he's awaiting your return

He understands mortality and the concept of death, but he never prepared himself for this

How could loving someone hurt so bad?

He talks about you to everyone who'll listen; both so he doesn't ever forget you, and so others can hear how amazing he thought you were

I like to think that when you were alive he gave you flowers... daisies, probably... he always keeps a daisy on him; either pinned to his coat or hat

Laughing Jack;

Denial

Denial

Denial. It will take him so so so long to finally come to terms that you'll never be coming back

He sprials; at first selfishly believing that you had purposefully abandoned him.. and given his past with being forgotten; he first responds with rage... before fully caving in on himself

Rumors are spread in town that your old house is haunted; thanks to Jack's howling cries

Hoards a lot of your belongings

It takes him a while to recover; and he's more irritable after all is said and done

Eyeless Jack;

This one's gonna hurt; because Jack is already gloomy and reclusive as is

Unlike the others, he's mortal; however he ages on a slower rate

So while he retained his youth he saw you change

After you're gone, he just

Sits in his cabin for a few days

He doesn't really leave unless his monstrous hunger gnaws away at him enough to prompt him to go into one of his feral episodes

I feel like he'd be similar to slenderman; in terms of the fact he will likely never love again

It feels...

Odd, for him to return to his lonely life, the one he had before you stumbled into his life

Some days he found himself wishing to relive the day he met you; or to wake up one day in your arms

As if this were all some long nightmare

But it never comes

[chaoticspeedrun]

Hi! I don’t know if you’re taking oneshot requests right now, but I have a suggestion for a Leo x Reader one:

The reader has long hair and always keeps it up in ponytails or braids due to low self esteem, and Leo is naturally curious about what they would look like with their hair down. During a mission, he and the reader go hide from a villain, and he notices that the reader’s hair is all let down. He thinks they look beautiful, and after talking for a bit, he says “You should keep your hair down, it looks better that way.”

That’s all I could come up with.

AN: I'm back baby! I'm alive! I am writing! I am working on the Anastasia AU and requests! I wanna draw *cries* thank you guys for being patient for me and the nice messages throughout my terrible burnout :')

Finally getting back to the asks and is one for Skittles! <3 I hope you like it!

Ponytail

Pairing: Rise!Leo x GN! reader (No use of Y/N)

Type: Oneshot

Summary: Leo was touchy with you, but he only seems to realize when he starts braiding your hair.

Warnings: None, reader has long hair.

MASTERLIST

You felt your throat burn with your heavy breathing while trying to reach the lair as fast as possible, the moment you caught sight of the manhole you jumped in, thankfully not hurting yourself in the process, and just sprinting at full speed the moment your feet touched the ground.

You’d gotten an emergency message from Leo just a couple of minutes earlier, telling you to get to the lair ASAP, you were silently grateful you hadn’t been too far from the lair, but the fact that Leo hadn’t just opened a portal for you to go through just made you feel like the emergency might be just that much worse; your heart sank just thinking about Leo being too busy fighting to create a portal for you.

Your thoughts made your body go that much faster, soon enough you saw the light of the lair’s entrance, you slowed down, trying to hear anything that might be happening inside but you were greeted with silence, worried at this you walked in, your eyes searching wildly until they collided with Raph’s.

“Oh, hey! You made it, come on!” Raph smiled at you contently while you tried to catch your breath; you noticed with a frown that he was holding a bowl of popcorn, the cogs started turning in your mind, making you bristle while you followed Raph deeper into the lair, and just as you thought: The other brothers, including Leo, were all hanging out calmly in the projection room, surrounded by snacks and laughter.

Leo caught sight of you from the corner of his eyes, you were about to berate him, angry at him for making his message so cryptic and scary when you noticed an innocent happy beam take place in his face at seeing you, he immediately jumped off the back of the couch, striding towards you and making your words get stuck in your throat with that one look.

Sometimes, once you were alone back in your own room, you’d think of these moments and curse yourself for giving in so easily to him, right at this moment however you were being pulled towards the couch by his hand and your thoughts were too scrambled between his expression, touch, and smile.

“You would never believe it, we were at Marcus Moncrief’s apartment after you know, doing us, being heroic and all that,” Leo startled rambling to you, practically vibrating with excitement “And he gave US, his biggest fans of course, a copy of the lost episode from the memories of Jupiter Jim’s saga! The 32nd episode of the eleventh trilogy! The limited edition one that was taken out of the market.”

You were sat on the couch with Leo at your side moving his arms wildly and sitting with his legs right against yours as he explained how important the movie was to the saga and how it would solve so many inconsistencies that happened later on, your anger left your body, replaced by that warm feeling that Leo brought you when he wanted to include you in things like these, his interests, his life.

Soon you were all squeezed up comfortably around the room as the movie began, it was all fine until Donnie seemed to startle and look around the room.

“Uh, does anyone else hear a beeping noise?” Donnie asked and everyone immediately perked up, trying to listen to anything.

You finally heard what Donnie was talking about, a beeping becoming stronger and suddenly Leo was pushing you to the floor behind the couch, a second later the tape exploded, and a maniacal laugh could be heard in the sewer tunnels.

“That’s right Jupiter Jim! You cannot hide from me any longer! I have been waiting so long for you to activate the tracking system in the tape!” The voice you didn’t recognize at all yelled and Leo groaned loudly.

“Awh, come on! Why does everything have to be some mortal trap?!” He yelled standing up and taking his swords out to the villain whom you think you’ve seen before on one of Leo’s infodumps of the series.

A full battle broke out in the lair until someone decided it would be way better to avoid the destruction of their home by guiding the villain away into the sewer tunnels while he kept attacking and asking where Jupiter Jim was.

“I think you need to stop visiting that old actor!” You exclaimed while trying to avoid a laser, this guy had lasers!

“I mean it’s not his fault—Look out!” Leo stopped his phrase to pull you away from danger once again, everyone spread out and Leo created a portal, taking your hand and pulling the both of you through it fast before the villain could reach you.

A laser beam went in through the portal alongside you but didn’t hit you by mere chance, Leo and you tried to recover your breaths, you were now far deeper in the sewers, completely quiet except for the sound of running water and your panting.

“We should really go back to look for the guys,” you said trying to take a look from the end of the tunnel, but Leo pulled you back by the hand which was still enveloped by his.

“No, look, Donnie knows the layout better than anyone, he’ll be activating all sorts of traps for this guy to fall into, Raph and Mikey will surely stick together, and bam! He’ll be gone before we know it!” Leo dismissed easily, his lazy smirk returning to his face while he leaned back against the wall, his hand finally letting go of yours “Let’s just wait it out and hide here for now instead of getting messy” Leo finished with a shrug.

A part of you was telling you to go help the guys, but the other one that trusted Leo’s impeccable intuition (though you would never tell him that) told you to hide there instead of attracting the attention of a crazy laser-happy villain with an obsession for a sci-fi actor.

You sighed and crossed your arms in front of you, resting your back on the wall right next to Leo, but you felt a soft snap on the back of your head and suddenly your hair was falling around your shoulders, quickly reaching back with your hands you felt the hair tie you had been using to hold up your ponytail falling into them, you took it to see it had been singed slightly, probably by the last laser that had followed you through the portal, you huffed at it and reached back to check your hair and make sure it hadn’t been singed with the tie.

The whole time you checked for it Leo had been strangely quiet, your eyes looked up to check on him and you caught him staring at your hair with a wistful expression, you tilted your head sideways and when he noticed his expression was back to his lazy grin, though a bit of color laced his cheeks.

“Well would you look at that, finally got rid of that hairband and it only took some deathly lasers to do so.”

As he teased you rolled your eyes, letting go of your hair as you made sure it hadn’t been too damaged.

“You could have just asked me to remove it if you hated it so much you know?” You chuckled “Though maybe I wouldn’t have removed it, just to spite you.”

Leo stuck out his tongue at you and took a strand of your hair between his fingers “Ah come on, it’s fine I was just curious about how it would look; you wear it up religiously, can’t blame me for wanting to find out how it looks down”

You shrugged, his hand never once stopping his trail over your hair, but you didn’t mind, Leo had been getting touchier with you, it was just an extension of that “It’s more comfortable, it doesn’t get in the way like that.”

Leo hummed in response, but he looked a bit absent minded, his other hand reaching up, like he was trying to braid your hair clumsily “You should keep your hair down, it looks better that way.”

The compliment wasn’t surrounded by flowery details, dramatic manners or his usual smirk, just a couple sincere words while his hand traveled lazily through your locks, he looked so calm as he said it it flustered you slightly, and you must have reacted weirdly because suddenly the hands on your hair stopped and Leo looked you in the eyes with his own wide open before he leaned back against the wall again chuckling awkwardly.

“Oh, the woes of being bald, I have to live vicariously through you, so you need to let your hair down for me!” He expressed to make light of everything, but his cheeks had darkened, and his gaze flittered about tensely without going back to you.

You chuckled beside him, seemingly calming him down, you were so lost in thought neither of you reacted to the sounds of yelling coming your way from down the tunnels.

Maybe you would wear your hair down more frequently.

[dreamwavesexploringreality]

IT'S CALLED LOVE:

Requested: A reader confesses to Chishiya she has been teleported to Alice in Borderland

----

"What was that supposed to be?" Chishiya growled, his steps purposeful as he made his way into Y/N’s room.

"I’m sorry, okay? It’s not like I meant to get shot by a horse rifle." The girl hissed in pain from her place on the bed, carefully tending to the edges of her bleeding wound.

Chishiya moved closer, his breath a soft snarl as he grabbed the cloth from her hand with steady force.

"If you keep this up, you’ll only make it worse. And it wasn’t a horse, it was a mask." His voice was laced with an obvious tone as he knelt before her.

Y/N tried to ignore the shiver that ran down her spine as she watched the man lower himself before her.

"I know it wasn’t a horse, I’m not stupid." She said, biting back a small cry when Chishiya applied firm pressure to the injury.

"The bullet just grazed you. You’ve been lucky." He replied, his gaze unwavering from the wound.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room for a few moments, until the doctor spoke again.

"Why did you step in front of him?"

Y/N swallowed. She had been expecting that question.

Chishiya knew Y/N wasn’t stupid. He had seen her prove her worth time and again in his presence. And so, he wasn’t going to let this slip by without an explanation as to why his girlfriend had decided to risk her life to save a stranger from a hail of bullets. He waited patiently, noticing how her body tensed slightly, as if she were searching for the right words, her mind working to form a response.

"I knew him." She finally answered, her voice quieter.

"Of course." Chishiya chuckled skeptically, not believing a word, as he lifted his head to meet her eyes. She quickly averted her gaze.

Since the moment she first saw him in the second episode of the series, she had gotten the impression that the man knew all the secrets of the universe. And when, for some unknown reason, she woke up in the middle of the street in that dystopian world and saw him in the flesh, she couldn’t dismiss that hypothesis. With a single glance, Chishiya seemed to uncover every secret she kept hidden, and what was worse—his eyes alone made her legs weak, and a blush painted her cheeks like a beacon, betraying her childish infatuation.

Before Y/N could process her thoughts, Chishiya had already stood up and sat next to her on the edge of the bed. She lowered her gaze to the floor, still trying to find a good excuse for saving Arisu from the wolf that night during the infamous game of tag.

Suddenly, she felt Chishiya brush her hair behind her ear in a careful, tender motion, revealing her face as he looked at her with those penetrating eyes.

"Tell me the truth." His voice was firm, carrying an authority that contrasted sharply with the gentleness of his touch on her hair.

She met his gaze, losing herself for a moment in the depths of his eyes. She felt her chest rise and fall as she breathed, reminding herself that this was real—that he was real—and that she could have very well died that night.

"I knew him." Y/N whispered, her gaze dropping to her feet once more.

She heard Chishiya let out a soft, condescending laugh as the weight beside her disappeared. She looked up to see him, indeed, preparing to leave the room.

"Wait!" She cried, rising unsteadily, her weight shifting onto her injured leg. An electrifying pain shot up her calf, forcing her to sit back down with a deep grimace. Was it the pain from the injury, or the pain from feeling like she was betraying Chishiya?

The man stood unmoving, staring at her from just a few steps away from the door. He waited patiently for the pain to fade from her face, and after a few seconds of silence, he spoke again.

"You shouldn’t put all your weight on the injury until it’s healed."

Now it was Y/N’s turn to laugh sarcastically. She laughed, feeling the tears begin to streak down her cheeks, and thought that she must be losing her mind.

Chishiya stayed silent, watching her.

"I know him, really. I mean, he doesn’t know me, but I know him almost like the back of my hand. He… he couldn’t die that night… he couldn’t! But things are going so strange… the story… the story isn’t the same, and it’s my fault! I… I’ve done things I shouldn’t have, but Arisu had to survive that game tonight, or… or I don’t know what would’ve happened..." She sobbed, her voice breaking as she finally let out the frustration she had held inside since the moment she saw the timeline start to shift.

Chishiya continued to look at her, his face unreadable.

"And now you’ll think I’m crazy, and maybe I am! What sense does any of this make? Why am I even here?" She continued, her voice rising as she looked at the stoic man. "React, damn it!" She shouted.

At that moment, Chishiya took a few steps forward and sat next to her again. She felt the mattress dip beside her, and a fleeting sense of comfort and security enveloped her as the silence once again claimed the room.

"If it weren’t for the fact that you seem so unhinged, I wouldn’t believe a word you just said." Chishiya spoke after a reflective pause.

Y/N’s eyes widened as she looked at the man, who was staring at the wall ahead.

"Sounds ironic." He murmured to himself.

"Do… do you… believe me?" Y/N asked, her voice trembling with disbelief.

Chishiya shrugged.

"I started believing in a lot of things the day I woke up in Borderlands for no reason at all." He turned his head to meet her eyes. "So how does this work? Do you know what’s going to happen?"

"N... no… Well, yes, I knew, but… I don’t anymore. There are things that aren’t in the story, or things that happen differently… I… I don’t know what’s going to happen." Y/N explained uncertainly, searching Chishiya’s gaze for any trace of mockery or irony.

Chishiya hummed, turning his gaze away again. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence once more.

"I know… I know about the cards." She said softly, trying to rid herself of the tension that gnawed at her inside.

He met her eyes once more, his face impassive. Y/N took this as an invitation to continue.

"Your plan. The one about stealing the cards." She clarified.

The man didn’t look away. His expression grew serious as he furrowed his brow slightly.

"Kuina told you. You can’t trust her to keep a secret." He said, trying to downplay the situation.

"No! No, Kuina didn’t tell me anything…" She paused for a moment, thinking. "I know you… you liked Arisu during the game tonight, and you want to use him in your plan."

The man felt his heart race for a moment, though he kept his calm and composed exterior.

"How long have you thought this?" He asked.

"Thought? I know. I’ve known since the moment I got here. I knew before you even knew me." She replied, feeling the frustration start to bubble inside her again.

Chishiya hummed once more. He stood up from the bed and moved toward the door.

"Don’t cover the wound with the blanket, it could get infected. See you tomorrow." He said as he turned one last time to observe her. "Rest."

Y/N sat there, stunned, watching as the door closed behind him. With a dramatic sigh, she collapsed back onto the bed. She had just told him her biggest secret—the secret of her life—and the man had walked out of the room as if none of it mattered.

But he was Chishiya… and what else could she expect from him?

What she didn’t know was that just beyond that door, the stoic, calm man had dropped his mask. He had forced himself to leave the room, to leave her company, to leave the girl who had turned his world upside down when he first met her—and had done it once again that night when, completely innocently and involuntarily, she had declared an unconditional loyalty to him. One of those loyalties that allies in a war or friends don’t offer, but one that can only be backed by one thing…

He would think later about the reason why the woman seemed like a fortune teller or someone from the future. At that moment, he just wanted to enjoy that strange feeling fluttering in his heart. Called love.

© 2024 [@dreamwavesexploringreality]

----

Hey! 😊

I based it on a request, but I ended up going a little off-course and adding my own spin. 😅 I hope you like it though! The main idea is still there, just with my personal touch.

Let me know what you think! 👀✨

[portraitofadyke]

Ed's 'inevitably violent streak'

I would also like to point out that despite the show skipping most of Ed's spiraling era and only showing us a very quick montage and his list of crimes, we never actually see him physically hurt any crew member but Izzy.

In s1, Ed never explicitly harms anyone. Maiming during the educational raids is mentioned by Stede, but Ed never lashes out on anyone but the 'other guys'. He threatens some guy to show Stede how it's done, he tells Fang to skin a guy. What is his reaction when the first person he lays himself bare for abandons him?

Yeah, he curls up into a ball, cries, eats shitload of marmalade in a pillowfort and writes shitty breakup songs. But wait, there is a guy in s1 who repeatedly slaps and threatens the crew! Someone who, coincidentally, also attempts to kill Stede after Ed tells him not to!

Oh, wait, it's Izzy. It's Izzy bc he cannot stand Ed going 'soft' around this crew. So he comes up with a plan to sell the crew and Stede out to the English and get them killed, despite knowing about Ed's feelings.

Of course, Ed throws Lucius overboard. Notably, right after Izzy threatens his life unless he becomes Blackbeard again. It's a breaking point for him, because he laid himself bare for Lucius the most, and in killing Lucius, he might kill that side of him. But, as we know, Lucius survives. We never really doubted it, to be fair, because Lucius is still A Good Guy.

In s2, we get the montage. It's said that Blackbeard has gone mad and is probably working the crew relentlessly, always raiding and looting and chasing after the next thing. I do believe the saw him do some pretty fucked up shit, and he's probably driving them crazy by making them do more fucked up shit on each raid. In fact, the crew knows he's fucked up, and Izzy even says they're all 'worried about him'. Izzy makes the mistake by not only quoting Stede and mentioning his name, but suggesting they talk about it, after years and years of prohibiting Ed from expressing his feelings and threatening him whenever he becomes 'soft'. Good thinking, just hypocritical and way too fucking late. In fact, when he comes on board after Izzy suggests talking, nobody seems all that alarmed until he pulls out the gun, which he never fires at anyone but Izzy, after he mentions Stede, the man Izzy almost killed multiple times. The crew is uncomfortable, they think he's crazy. It's never said that he hurt any of them. In fact, they all just kinda sit around until he shoots Izzy. After Izzy dares to talk about his 'feelings for Stede', something Izzy threatened to kill him over before. They actually seem pretty fucking shocked Ed did that. Would they react that way if he repeatedly hurt the crew?

After that, Ed just goes back to being depressed. In fact, I rewatched the first two episodes AGAIN, and Ed just goes to play with his dolls, cries like crazy, and presumably starts coming up with more passive ways to kill himself. In his interactions with Frenchie, he even holds Frenchie, and he never flinches, doesn't seem to be afraid to be in his proximity. Even when Ed knows Frenchie is lying about killing Izzy, he never lays a hand on him.

Even when he's sailing them into a storm, the crew is hesitant to take him down. They know he's fucked up, they wanna know if he's better. Sure, they are probably also afraid of him, but Ed once again never hurts them. He's at his lowest, ready to die, and yes, he makes Jim and Archie fight (bc he saw them kiss lovingly and that's... touchy). Even as he's ready to die, he doesn't go out to hurt any of them. When they finally take him down, he's just ready to go. At that point, he's just completely out of it.

My point is, certain people like to paint Ed as this inevitably violent person. And sure, everyone knows Blackbeard is insane. A maniac. He tortures both mentally and physically. But Ed, even as Blackbeard, goes after other people, not his crew. He hurts people in raids and soldiers and shit. Of course, he did send the crew through Hell, but for someone who is 'abuser' and 'gonna domestically abuse Stede', he doesn't hurt his crew other than Izzy, who fucking gets it after repeatedly trying to kill Stede and abusing Ed for years. They explicitly TELL US Ed's go-to answer isn't violence unless the other person threatens him. Maybe, just maybe, all of you are a bit racist?

[icarusredwings]

Baby Eveyln small update

Tw: Mentions of miscarriage, child loss, voices, mental illness, argueing.

Logan is starting to get worried. A little too worried. Some of the things he is saying make far too much sense, the way he holds the baby, becoming way too serious to be simply coping. If anything, Evelyn was making him cope less, forcing him to spend most of his time with her, taking her to the park, taking her to the store, and even to work. It was getting to the point where Eve was "crying" during class and began to freak out some of the students.

"..but.. Mr. Wade.. she's a toy."

"She's crying!"

The silence was loud to them, but not to Wade, who was now on paid suspension for two weeks to try to settle his mental state but now Wade couldn't even sleep without the doll. He didn't laugh as much anymore. He didn't take many merc jobs anymore. Hell- he didn't want to take any jobs at the moment, even bringing up the idea of being a stay at home dad. This, of course caused an argument.

"Wade, you cant be a stay at home dad if we don't have any kids! If you want to take a break thats fine, but you can't use her as an excuse, shes... shes plastic, honey. You need to realize that. Shes not real. You are making the crying on your own."

"I'm not! An-and she IS crying!"

"All she does is cry apprently! It's not healthy, Wade. Something is wrong!"

"She laughs too! S-she giggles at me! It's real! I-i can hear it!" He cries, still holding the doll in his arms, yelling back like a tired mother in a Drama who just found out her husband was cheating.

"If you don't want to be part of this family.. t-Then don't! Leave us alone! Go! She dosn't need a father like you anyway!" He screams, wearing nothing but his silk nightie robe and a pair of boxers... storming off into their room.

Slamming the door..

So, It leads him to consult an expert in Wade's manic depressive episodes. Vanessa. Wade mentioned them both taking parenting classes to see if they were ready for a kid but the way Wade was describing it... there may have already been one.. Infact that's why he called her here.

At first, he pitter pattered around the subject. Lightly implying, and then beat around the bush, beating the bush finally when she ignored the question, acting as if she hadn't heard. Logan knew already by her avoidance, but he needed her to confirm. To be sure.

"Were you... ever pregnant?..while with Wade, I mean.." It's a whisper, in the corner of some run down diner. He had bought her a piece of strawberry short cake and a coffee in hopes to soften things over, he himself a coffee and buttered pancakes.

"What? No.. why would you think that?" She says, but looks away, quickly taking a drink of her coffee, looking longingly out the window.

"...Ness.."

She glances at him with such wide eyes, frowning. "What is it, Logan?"

"I won't tell him." He states, watching as she swallows, looking around before whispering.

"...It would destroy him."

That's what Logan thought. An internal sigh washed over him as he glances down at the table. "I know.. but with Eve-"

"That stupid babydoll he carries around to torture me with? What about her?" She grunts, by now her eyes teary, begining to look at the ceiling, clearly angry that she couldn't have what she wanted, and yet Wade could play with the doll.

Ooh... that made sense as to why Vanessa wouldn't play mommy and daddy with him. His brows crease upwards, head lowering as he looks at her with such sympathy. "Yeah....Why didn't you tell me? I can put her up when you visit.. so.. It's not as painful..."

"He can't know. No one can know. If he found out, he'd-" Her throat tightens, cutting off as she took a deep breath, now staring at him in his eyes, serious and biting her tounge.

"...Promise me."

"I won't tell him... I promise." Taking a napkin, he passed it to her. "I just.. I need to know what's going on so I can get him help. By helping me, you're helping him." He whispers, letting things sit like that for a while, silently starting to eat his food, waiting patiantly.

Finally, Vanessa took a breath. "Don't let this be for nothing.."

"I won't...Do you know if anyone else could possibly-"

Vanessa gave him a glare. One that said 'Ive been engaged to this bastard for 10 years and you think he has a kid with someone else?'

So Logan nodded. "Got it."

But now this leads Logan to wonder... Did Wade deserve to know? It was his kid afterall...

[lifes-line]

In honor of the Adventure Zone and the suffering game coming out soon I’m gonna talk about the moments in The Adventure Zone that got me the most emotional

Obviously spoilers for the Adventure Zone

5. Johann the Bard’s death

This one I think caught the majority of TAZ fans off guard. Whenever an NPC died.. it was always during the events of recovering a grand relic - never after the mission. It’s like-

Johann was here. And then he wasn’t.

And most people grew very attached to Johann during the episodes and arcs of making fun of him, asking if they’re ok with being forgotten, him and his relationship with the Void Fish— and to include this with my number 5

WHEN MAGNUS AT THE END OF THE PODCAST

NAMES HIS FUCKING DOG AFTER JOHANN

OHMYGODDD

4. Meeting Lup

Now- not when Lup was freed from the Umbra-staff and called out her brother for being gay, while that was a funny as fuck moment, that’s not what I’m referring to.

It’s when we cut back to the Stolen Century and we meet Lup officially for the first time. I just remember hearing her speak for the first time and her antics and I remember being like “god.. she’s just like her brother.”

And we get to know her and it’s like- we also find out she is nothing like Taako. She’s more empathetic to people - to strangers- she’s smarter than him(like book smart) , SHES a nerd, she flamboyant and kindhearted and it’s like also-

We’ve known her forever. She was in every single adventure the boys had- she was this overwhelming presence in the entire podcast - from her name burnt into the wall, to “where’d you get that umbrella?”, to flying to Taako’s aid every time he was in trouble— she had always been a character without a name or face to her and then we she is finally formally introduced you just love her instantly.

That’s amazing writing.

3. Arms outstretched

Now this got everyone.

It was such a powerful moment between brothers and between friends- even Griffin didn’t see it coming.

He fully expect them to just let Magnus float off into the astral plane but then they change the entire plot of the story and saved Magnus and brought him back.

Taako and Merle both using a spell slot to bring back their bestfriend. Also foreshadows to their deeper connection back in their stolen century.

The music behind that scene was also fucking phenomenal it was beautiful and I loved it.

2. “You fucking took everything from me”

Ok SO- THIS ONE IS INCREDIBLE- it starts me on the same tangent every time.

In this moment Taako has fully remembered all of the events that happened before Lucretia erased their memories and he is fucking infuriated.

Because if Lucretia had not done it that day- Taako and Barry would’ve found Lup. THINK ABOUT IT - that day they were going to check Wave Echo cave- they would’ve found Lup’s corse and the red robe and the umbrella - Taako would’ve made the connection and Barry would’ve figured it out instantly and Lup would’ve been set free and back.

But because Lucretia did it they never went to WaveEcho cave and they never found her- until a decade later- Taako found her stupid and unknowing - took her umbrella and watched her skeleton decay- AND NOW HE REMEMBERS THIS

And it’s too late to go back to WaveEcho now, the fucking hunger is here and her corpse is long gone, if she was a lich barry would’ve found her by now, and if she was in Phanadalin- it was all glass now - where could she have gone?

Taako is realizing silently what Barry isn’t aware of- Lup was right there. SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM- and he couldn’t find her, he couldn’t save her.

In this moment of rage Taako realizes his sister is gone. She’s never coming back. Lucretia took his everything from him.

And it’s all her fault.

1. Magnus’s death

Now. The day I finished TAZ Balance edition, at 9:38PM, I cried myself to sleep. OF COURSE I DID

“HOW DOES MAGNUS DIE?”

SURROUNDED BY HIS LOVED ONES

WITH HIS DOGS

AND MAGNUS FINALLY ENDS HIS ULTIMATE QUEST- HE SEES HIS WIFE IN THE AFTERLIFE

Magnus, rushing in to everything because he ultimately wanted to die a crazed hero so he could see his wife again but still feel like he died doing something worth it just for her, who never loved another ever during his years alive, who turned down the temptation of his own relic because if he was going to see his wife again he wanted her to be proud of him, Magnus Burnsides whose ultimate destination and goal was to see the love of his life again.

And he finally did.

Magnus got the happy ending he truly deserved.

Magnus Burnsides is the most relatable character in all of the Adventure Zone(to me at least) I love and cherished him like he was truly my friend- so when he dies at the end of the podcast I cried like I was grieving a real person.

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (EP 3 - 4):

Sometimes, you think you're prepared to handle the angst and usually it turns out it's not really that easy. Let's say it was this way for me, with these two episodes. I knew from the start that the relationship between Do Hoe and Ju Yeong would be affected by something Do Hoe's dad would do, but I never quite imagine the domino effect it would have for the rest of the story. To be honest, I had to rewatch the part where everything went wrong because I wasn't sure I had quite understood what happened. I guess this part reinforces the sudden volte-face that you never quite imagined, neither the characters did. In the end, you just feel like Ju Yeong: confused and in a need of answers.

I guess I would be easy to have resentment for Do Hoe. I understand that he feels guilty in some way about what happened. He also maybe believes that avoiding Ju Yeong, being cold to him or keeping a distance with him, will be the right penitence for what happened... but it's not. He still feels guilty and that's shown when he met again Do Hoe at his father's funeral. When asked by Hyeon Ho if he is okay, he curtly answered "no, I'm not okay". I think Do Hoe hasn't been okay for 12 years now and it's a very long time to feel guilty. Harm was done by his notoriously abusive father to someone he cares for and Do Hoe feels like the blame fell at his feet. He is struggling with guilt and that made him not being able to do his exams and to cut any contact with Ju Yeong.

On the other hand, we have a very confused and lost Ju Yeong, who was beaten by Do Hoe's father because he wanted to "protect" him, in some way. In the end after this event, he was left with no contact, no way of talking or seeing Do Hoe. He never quite understood why. He deserves a valid explanation, but he was left with uncertainty. Uncertainty is everywhere and that's part of life. Yet, we all crave security and control over our life. By denying him a reason to explain his actions, Do Hoe made Ju Yeong feels fear and doubts. They can trap you in a downward spiral of "what-ifs". That's why he never really found his way, made strong bonds with others and he kept contact with Do Hoe's father, despite everything. In a way, he was looking for Do Hoe is every part of his life. It is shown in the scene where he rushed outside when it was snowing because snow is associated with Do Hoe and the good time they had together.

I guess it must have felt weird for some viewers about why Ju Yeong kept contact with Do Hoe's abusive father or why he cried during his funerals. I think it can be explained in several ways: first, it's a way of still being close to Do Hoe, even if Do Hoe is not present in his life. Secondly, it is the feeling of being wanted. Ju Yeong was adopted and never felt he had a place in his family, but even if Do Hoe's father is really abusive and despite the toxicity, it's worth it, just to feel wanted. Finally, and that's just a guess, alright, some people stay around toxic people because deep down, they believe they can't do any better and/or the abuse is a preferable alternative to being alone. By losing his coach in an accident, Ju Yeong lost an important person in his life. Even if this person was toxic and put him in this situation where he lost contact with the real most important person in his life: Do He. So yes, I understand why Ju Yeong stayed in touch with the coach and cried when he died. Of course, it also gave him the opportunity to see Do Hoe again, something he desperately wanted because he wants answers. That's why he is always asking him “Don't you have something to tell me?!”. I think the explanation may not be what's important, what he really wants is for Do Hoe to talk to him.

Recently, I read a post by @usertoxicyaoi about the loneliness of being queer as it is portrayed in Love in the Big City through Go Yeong's journey. I think it also works, in a way, with Ju Yeong. I will quote this post because I think it was so well-written: “It's such a relatable, universally felt loneliness that in particular queer adults feel. and yeah love is nice and all, and it was fleeting and a whirlwind and it came and it went. but that loneliness? Stayed.” I think it also relates well to what Ju Yeong must have felt during these 12 years where he was left with no real answers and the loss of someone he really loved and trusted. I hope that now, Do Hoe and Ju Yeong will be able to start their healing journey: one must free himself from feeling guilty over something he couldn't change and the other must be able to get free of the loneliness he thinks he deserves because of his past. I get that the series is called “let free the curse of Taekwondo”, but we all know it's not Taekwondo that is the curse and both have a different one. The idea is that maybe they are the cure for one another. I wouldn't say love is the only answer, but in a way, it's not only about romantic love, but also self-love. Both are the answer, in my view.

As you can see, I had so much to say about this series and it shows how great it’s for me. I can’t wait to see how they are both going to re-connect, heal and live this love again.

[alittlebitofeverything04]

Thoughts for Today - Ep. 1-3 of The Heart Killers (BL)

Hey guys. I know, it’s been a fresh minute since I’ve used this blog, well besides for looking at posts without doing some of my own. Trust, I plan to fix that starting today. Don’t expect super frequent posts as I am still in school (cries in final exams) but I do want to be more active here, especially regarding some works I have cooking that I want to share as well as shows I want to rant about. Which brings us to today’s icebreaker, the recent Heart Killers BL series.

And my thoughts so far? I honestly am in love with this series. Might be one of my favorite off all time so far, and that’s saying something coming from a Kinnporsche glazer, rightfully so that series is also incredible. So I’m going to rant about the episodes so far and some other topics I’ve seen floating around the show. So strap in cause I got quite a few things to saw if you’re interested.

EP. 1 - Great start to the series in my opinion. I loved the character intros and all of them are perfect to showing the audience that these are not good people. Extremely morally grey and paints the way to great character development. Makes them more realistic, as people in real life are often morally grey as well, dirty and complex, just like these characters. Brings an element of realism to an otherwise campy and sometimes goofy show about assassins and deceit. Also yes, have to talk about the KantBison scene. Now, I havent watched too much of their work, only pieces from their shows, but from I could see they had great chemistry and it’s on full display here. Their scene was passionate, raw. Another praise to give to the show is how openly sexual it is and I love it. Also loved the dynamics they’ve at that point, Bison being the dreamer, Fadel the reluctant, older brother who does what he thinks is best, Style an annoying but lovable diva, and Kant, a liar who’s doing it for the greater good of his brother. The tension as well between Fadel and Style, chef’s kiss. Can’t wait to see one of them break. Overall, had a great time with the first episode.

EP. 2 - Have to say, the most campy episode so far. But I’m not complaining, Style of course being the reason for this. I got to say, usually I hate characters like this, the overly annoying ones to smother and don’t respect boundaries, so I’m shocked to find that Style is still as lovable to me as ever. I think it’s because of the added subtext that at first, he’s only really doing this for his best friend and his car. So he’s doing it with the benefit of the reward after. It’s messed up and keeps up with the theme of toxicity in this show. And it’s also hilarious to see Fadel have the patience of a saint and put up with his shenanigans. Hell, even giving him money for his products he ‘dumped.’ The tension between the two is great and got even better during the sauna scene. So many thoughts for that, super hot. It showed Fadel being the most giving to Style since they first met, makes sense since that only happens when the two are alone. He leans into his touch almost, closes his eyes and just lets himself feel Style’s hand on him. At least, till Uncle comes in and ruins it. Style basically being the ‘Ricky, when I catch you Ricky’ to him was hilarious. Till we go to the unconsensual kiss. Now, again, makes sense character wise since Style has been described as shameless in his attempts to pursue someone but I like how the show portrays it as something thats still not right. I love that the show isn’t afraid to delve into heavy subjects like this and still manage to portray them in a bad light without romanticizing them like other BL shows. It fits the tone of the series perfectly and I love it. Especially when we got to the end of the episode of Fadel’s fun time to himself. Hot as well, shame we lost a soldier so early. The post nut clarity hitting him hard afterward also made me chuckle out loud. It’s ok, we’ve all have our rough days. The Kant and Bison stuff was also very sweet, Kant paying off his friend to flirt with Bison to make it more convincing to him is a level of dedication I can’t even hate on. Proud of my toxic boy. Love how they’re still learning to trust each other, more Bison to Kant really, showing that he’s not as naive as some might think. Again, had fun with this episode as well as can’t wait for the next.

EP. 3 - Wow, def need to touch some grass after this episode. Here I thought nothing would top the Fadel fun time scene last episode but here we are. Now, there is a lot to say about this episode as got a good amount of info this time. We got introduced to ‘Mother’ who is actually worse than I expected her to be. It’s clear that she doesn’t give a damn about these boys (at least so far), merely using their ‘love’ as a means of manipulation to have the boys blindly follow her orders and take our her enemies. Reminds me of Tony from Pitbabe just gender bent. Showing the outsider brother, sorry I forgot his name at the moment, clearly being set up as a foil for the assassin brothers and I’m interested to see where they take him. Also, lore drop on Fadel? So boy wasn’t just rightfully paranoid, he lost an ex bf in this line of work and poor boy doesn’t want the same happening for his brother. Makes sense since at the beginning of the episode, he covered for Bison and lied about him seeing someone. Another cute brotherly moment besides from the one later one where he tells Bison he’ll help him get out of this so he can have a normal life. I swear, I love these two so much. And of course, more Style annoying Fadel, my favorite pastime. Jk but Fadel being used to it at this point is hilarious. Also loved how Style went to help Fadel and then proceeding to make the boy nervous when he changed into the uniform in the kitchen. Like Style, if only you knew the true effect you had over this boy. Fadel was practically drooling at the mouth looking away from him to stop getting horny. More cute scenes between Kant and Bison but unfortunate when Kant had to report back to Captain who suggests getting into their home instead. Mission failed successfully? (Iykyk). The club scene with Fadel was amazing, Style is right when he says that he’s handsome to be making like that on the side. But when he started imagining he was in fron of Fadel instead of the woman? They’re literally soulmates your honor, two minds think alike. Interesting though that after Fadel saved him from those three after the club, he’s switches on wanting to sleep with him to actually wanting to know more about him. His suspicions opposite to Kant’s, who wants to date Bison for the reason of staying out jail, to Style, who actually wants to know more about Fadel, what makes him tick and to let his walls down. So makes sense when they finally have sex, he’s not enjoying as much as he would’ve before he changed his goal about him. The whole sex scene actually, while still good, feels underwhelming for those two and it should be. Fadel’s doing it because he claims it’ll get Style off him, which lets be fr, he’s dying for that cookie since that last episode, so he feels this is mandatory and not into it as much as he would be if he actually vulnerable with Style. To which Style picks up on. He looks attentive, not as in the moment as one think he would be because he knows Fadel isn’t doing this because he really likes Style but because he feels like he has to. It’s more interesting than it is erotic and I love how the direction for that scene was. And the punch to Style after? Much deserved cause I did not like that whole grief club scene. Maybe to was to further hit home that Style isn’t a good person or maybe this foreshadowing for something, idk. I’m not a fan and it seems I’m not the only one. However, I can’t say the same for the ending of the show. The BDSM scene. Now the show is filled with triggers, stated that very early on, as early as the trailers so this didn’t surprise me too much. The roofing however, was interesting but makes sense since Kant needs to get more evidence at their house. But when the tables flipped, it catches him off guard. Him clearly hesitant and somewhat scared at first but not saying anything cause he’s far in to give up now. But to him starting to melt into and possibly feeling good was another level of spice I welcomed. I have so much more to say but maybe I’ll save that for after the series is over for a full analysis.

Overall, the series is so much fun and entertaining, the level of tension, incoming angst and storytelling is all wonderfully done and it leads me to being excited for the next coming week and how they’re going to redeem this band of morally grey men. That’s what character development is for. If they started out as goody two shoes then the show would be boring. The element of realism in the toxicity and deceit all these characters have is honestly what’s setting up for some amazing drama to come and it boggles my mind that some people are using that reason to drop the show. The show was very clear that it would go into some heavy subject matter and people hating the show on that are the reason we can’t have nice things. I understand not wanting to watch the show due to some of its triggers but calling the show ‘bad’ because of these reasons is absolutely ridiculous. There are other shows who try to go into this subject matter but don’t have the good writing Heart Killers have to pull it off. Sorry for the rant but had to get it off my chest.

All in all, watch the series if you can handle the heavy subject material as it’s definitely worth the watch. And don’t if you don’t! We all have our preferences but don’t hate something when it isn’t finished yet please. Let’s spread love, not hate. But I think I’ve all I wanted to say. Can’t wait till next week cause the show is getting good.

See you all in the next post, my marvels. Bye!