#this got so long lmao as you can see i had things to say

[nickeverdeen]

Hey♥️can I request a birthday request? It's for the last day of January. It's early, I know, but I'm requesting it now so you have your time to write it and don't feel pressured.

I wanted an imagine with JJ from outer Banks and a female reader (with female body parts), and it's an imagine where is JJ's birthday (the irony, since it's mine🤭) and he's coming home from some hard work where he's all tired and sweaty. He hasn't had time yet to do anything for his birthday and is content with the fact that the pogues will only be in the pool at night. So when he's coming home in that afternoon, to the small house he and reader are living together at, he's surprised to find Reader is waiting for him by the kitchen with a birthday cake she baked for him. She's holding there a cake for him, with a frost smear on her cheek, smiling at him and... For a moment, he only knows how to look. He was never a person who received much affection from anyone, he's not used to that, and then this beautiful, sweet girl he calls his girfriend spent her entire afternoon making something... For him?

So let's say he's now who surprises reader when his first reaction is to basically "attack" her on a makeout session. She's like "ew, hold on, you're sweaty" but he ignores it, because his heart is so bursting of love out of his chest he's desperate for her. Yeah, so basically a s.mut with him, but so I don't end up being too vague, maybe him giving her head on the kitchen balcony and then they f-ing against the fridge? God I'm so embarrased writing this lmao I read a kitchen s🐣x scene like that in a romance book once and never forgot😭srry

Birthday Suprise | JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Pairings: JJ Maybank x reader (romantic)

Type of fic: Smut, Bit of Fluff

Warnings: Smut

Summary: JJ is not used to any kind of special things on his birthday as it’s just another day, but after seeing what you made for him he knows he needs to thank you properly.

Ps: I hope it’s JJ in the gif - I’m not sure, but it looks like him and if it’s not please let me know. Also I’m sorry if the smut part isn’t that great as I’m not really good at writing any kind of smut with a guy.

————————

The house was quiet when JJ walked up the front steps, his muscles aching from the long day. Work had been brutal—long hours under the hot sun, drenched in sweat, and covered in salt and dirt. But he wasn’t expecting anything different. It was just another day. His birthday was just another day.

The Pogues had promised a chill night in the pool later, which was more than he usually got, so he was content with that.

What he wasn’t expecting was to walk into the kitchen and see you standing there, holding a cake.

A homemade cake.

His brain stalled.

You were leaning against the counter, waiting for him with a soft smile, a smudge of frosting on your cheek. You looked so fucking pretty, standing in his kitchen, looking at him like that.

“Happy birthday, baby,” you murmured.

For a moment, he just stared, heart hammering against his ribs. No one had ever done something like this for him. He wasn’t used to this kind of love, this kind of effort.

For him.

Something inside him snapped.

You barely had time to process before he was on you, mouth crashing against yours, hands grabbing at your waist, your hips, your face—everywhere he could touch.

You let out a surprised squeal, pressing against his chest. “JJ—you’re sweaty.”

“Don’t care,” he muttered against your lips, kissing you deeper, needier, his hands sliding up your sides. “You made me a fucking cake.”

You giggled against his mouth, squirming slightly. “Yeah, I did.”

His hands dropped to your thighs, gripping tight before effortlessly lifting you onto the kitchen counter. The cake was long forgotten.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that?” he murmured, kissing down your jaw, down your neck. His voice was hoarse, desperate, full of something raw and real.

You softened under him, fingers threading through his damp hair. “You deserve it.”

His breath hitched. And then he was moving lower, lips trailing down your collarbone as his hands pushed up the hem of your dress.

“JJ,” you breathed, a mix of anticipation and amusement.

He grinned against your skin. “Lemme say thank you properly, yeah?”

Before you could answer, he dropped to his knees.

His hands spread your thighs apart, pushing your panties aside. He didn’t hesitate, didn’t waste a second before licking a broad stripe up your slit, groaning as he tasted you.

“JJ—fuck,” you gasped, hands gripping the edges of the counter.

He moaned against you, the vibrations sending a shiver down your spine. His tongue worked you over relentlessly, fingers digging into your thighs, keeping you open for him.

You tried to fight it—tried not to let go too quickly—but JJ knew you. Knew how to break you down, how to drive you crazy with just his mouth. It wasn’t long before you were falling apart, back arching, legs trembling around his head.

He licked his lips, grinning up at you, eyes dark and hungry.

“God, I love you,” he murmured, standing up and kissing you again, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

Then, in one swift movement, he spun you around, pressing you up against the fridge.

Your breath hitched.

“You good, baby?” he murmured against your ear, hands sliding under your dress, gripping your ass.

“Yes,” you breathed, grinding back against him.

“Good.”

Then he was pushing inside you, stretching you open, filling you completely.

You moaned, forehead pressing against the cool metal of the fridge.

JJ let out a choked groan, fingers digging into your hips. “Fuck—so tight,” he panted, thrusting deeper, harder.

The fridge rattled with every movement, the kitchen filled with the sound of skin against skin, your breathless moans, his ragged curses.

He was relentless, desperate, like he was trying to show you how much this meant to him without words.

And God, you felt it.

You lost track of time, lost in the pleasure, in him.

And when you both finally came undone, collapsing against each other, breathing hard, JJ let out a breathless laugh.

“Best birthday ever.”

You giggled, turning in his arms, brushing his damp hair back. “Happy birthday, baby.”

And when you giggled again, he just grinned, thinking for the hundredth time that he was the luckiest guy in the world.

[froagles]

I have- a lot to say about Chapter Four, so-

I sound a bit salty, because I am, but I promise it’s all not that serious and it is just a game! Let’s all remember that and be respectful

⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD BIG RANT BELOW ⚠️

❌ There’s about to be a lot of negative so if you don’t want to see it skip to the positives! Totally fair! It came out yesterday and I was hyped and it didn’t meet my personal hype, so I am a bit salty ngl! So totally fair to skip ❌

I can’t really talk much about Yarnaby because his death was SUPER glitched? So I was kind of just like “…okay- I mean yikes for him but-“ I can’t even tell if it was something I did that made him burn? I’m someone who hates chase sequences (not because they’re bad I just get too stressed lmao) but his felt kiiiind of underwhelming? But again one of the places I assume he was supposed to be chasing was- glitched as all hell he didn’t chase me at all, but anyways, my son that I can’t draw, I’m so sorry

Pianosaurus- honestly? I didn’t give him the time of day during promos and such, and honestly now I’m ashamed I didn’t, I’m someone that needs time to just- stare at a character’s design for more than four seconds, just to picture their potential, and staring at his design after the fact, yeah, a MUSICAL chase scene? Are you KIDDING me?? I would’ve fucked with that, SO. HARD. I think Mob was trying to go for the funny route, that or just to show how unstable/strong Doey is, but- I don’t know maybe he could’ve come in and saved us.. after an actual chase scene? My man had ten seconds of life including the cutout, Mob hates dinosaurs fr

The Doctor- I don’t know man I wasn’t too hyped about him like- fight wise? But I knew he’d come with lore and it’d be a different kind of villain so I was still hyped in a sense, and- since I can’t say much about Yarnaby’s death- then the Nightmare Critters stuff? Like it was interesting he was playing with us, but he just dies so easily, like I guess it makes sense, he’s an immovable(?) computer, but for someone everyone expected to be the main villain, and who was talking so much shit to us the whole game, he was also kind of underwhelming, disappointing really the mindless drone computers was also all glitchy so I couldn’t tell you much there

Saved this for last (critique wise) because if you follow me/like my stuff you probably know I love the Nightmare Critters, they got me into actually drawing Poppy Playtime stuff instead of just fixating on the Smiling Critters but not drawing them, helped that I had finally gave in and watched chapter three (out of order.. I finally watched chapters one and two like a week ago, fake fan I know) in September, and then they came out in October

Maybe it’s dumb, but these stupid emo critters mean a lot to me for personal reasons, a lot more than they probably should, so to say I was excited was an understatement, and- the trailer didn’t give me high hopes, but I stayed hopeful, thinking maybe that tease of a Bigger Baba would lead to something? Like- “maybe she’s actually an ally! They did say multiple allies, she’s the black sheep of the Nightmare Critters! It makes sense! They have their own jingle made too, maybe there’s a commercial!” And then to not even get cutouts of them felt kind of like a stab in the heart

They started their big promotion of the chapter with a week long introduction and- nothing, and yes you can argue the same thing happened to the Smiling Critters in chapter three though comparatively they got way more than the Nightmare Critters, which they gave us more of in chapter four, but that’s just the thing, why make the Nightmare Critters in the first place then? It’s not like it’d tarnish the Smiling Critters’ brand, they were introduced AS antagonistic plushies trying to eat us, and if the idea was that they were such a failed attempt (in universe) at trying to attain the same popularity as the Smiling Critters.. why not say? Give us a note? A line? An acknowledgment besides them visibly attacking us to their existence? Even as a villain despite the symbolism Baba could’ve been a parallel to Catnap, something, but nope, she was just the main grunt character, like actually, that’s what her and the Nightmare Critters were, Yarnaby was a pet, they were like The Doctor sent out bugs to come at us, in the cage room they were just slightly bigger bugs, like what is that about by the way? Are they not Bigger Bodies? Are they the “main” Critters? Like tell us things about them please, even their little jingle is an Easter Egg there’s NO acknowledgment of them, at all, and to top it all off, no cutouts, when characters like Daisy have cutouts despite never being a character we face, why have us see the Smiling Critters cutouts again with the same dialogue- and all the other new characters get cutouts, but not the Nightmare Critters?? Why????? I dunno, it’s not that serious but it’s incredibly disappointing for me personally, as we had months of hype for- literally nothing

Edit: I have more to say actually, why the heck was Baba even advertised as different from the rest of the Nightmare Critters? In everything we get of them she’s in the middle, or the main focus, the spotlight, for.. what? She’s the only one attacking us? Like I just don’t get it, I still believe a better plot were to have her be a parallel to Catnap, because they’re similar situations in a way, Baba’s Prototype was just Dr. Sawyer instead, just.. minus having a hinted personality, but maybe this time, we could’ve saved her when we couldn’t Catnap or something? So like it’s not too similar, but I dunno, literally anything would’ve been better than what we got

✅ But! It wasn’t all bad, this chapter did have a bit of good in it that I enjoyed, case in point- ✅

Doey, GOD I love his colours, I jokingly hated him because I fucking hate drawing circles, and this man is nothing but circles, but my actual opinions pre release I just couldn’t wait to see him animated, I love characters that don’t have to deal with anatomy, I hate anatomy, stretch away king, but I didn’t have much of an opinion otherwise, then we find out he’s made up of three people? The lore is hot, his jingle is a bop also, the fact he killed his (well one of the people’s) parents, that was illegal, stop that, and I’m glad that he didn’t just agree with Poppy’s plan, but also I wish they talked about the long term? Say they defeat The Prototype, it’s not like they can go back into society, I’m surprised no one had that existential thought, his death though- a bit convoluted but yeah, also to my understanding The Prototype set off the bombs right? But we still planned to do it, just maybe we could’ve moved the Safe Haven guys out beforehand I dunno, but that was such a sad death, he said SORRY TO US. US???? BRO WE SUUUUUCK, RIP the king of this chapter

Safe Haven, omfg that was just such a cool concept to me, I guess you could say that it’s not really original but I don’t really care about all that, kind of wish there was more of a variety of toys in it though (yeah I know there were a couple Boogie Bots and a Mini Huggy but it was still clearly Smiling Critters focused y’know? I swear I don’t hate the SC guys I’m just trying not to be biased towards them) I’m glad they had a memorial room, and it’s SO lucky of them to have a doctor I don’t know how if they were all children but that doctor is the goat, in the thumbnail of the trailer they make a point to show that Doey could put things in himself, and we also know from tapes that he can make it where others can’t, surely there’s big enough cracks to where he could go up in the surface and lowkey rob a store to get them food right? Pretty please? Give these people food T^T ALSO I’m glad they actually talked, I didn’t expect that to be honest, yay :3

I was not expecting to see BBI Hoppy but I’m so glad we did, my fav Smiling Critter hiiiiii :3, I love her voice, and it makes me wonder if she was the last Critter besides Dogday and Catnap, because maybe they would’ve mentioned the others if they were alive? I dunno, but I’m just glad to see her

Bouncing off of those two points ^, we got more Smiling Critters shit!! Not much in the grand scheme of things, but we got a whole BBI Hoppy tape, a blurry image of I thiiiiink BBI Bubba on one of the TV screens, and an entire room full of the little Smiling Critters, that counts probably, we got more that makes me happy :3

Out of order but seeing that Kissy in the train car- omfg I think that was who Riley from the notes was- RIP Queen, Jesus-

By the way I WILL be using the fact that Touille’s tail is lowkey kind of like Catnap’s that shit is so long, we sure he’s not an opossum lol?

The jingles made by Black Gryphon slaaaapped bro, make them longer puhleaseeeee 🙏

Kissy Missy, send tweet, she’s alive my angel she’s so TRAUMATIZED go AWAY PROTOTYPE

Poppy joining the realistic panic attack club- I don’t blame her for running, and I don’t think any of us should, we the player suck LMAO we deserve this, it was sad for Kissy though the queen

Also people saying fuck Ollie- why? Ollie was real, it’s The Prototype that did all that, not him, leave him alone he’s a bean

I kind of expected Huggy Wuggy was alive, these fucking wuggies are made of titanium I guess, what if the two reunite? They should give each other a hug with their long velcro paw pads, that’s what should happen Kissy and Huggy need to hug as probably the only BBI’s left (presumably, if Boxy is alive we cheer)

As disappointed in the chapter as I am, as it was my first time seeing it release live, it wasn’t all bad, maybe I could better judge some parts when they fix the glitching

I am working on some more drawings! Sorry I’ve slowed, I’m still not used to drawing so much lowkey, at least not like fully colouring and even doing backgrounds, if you couldn’t tell I only ever really do sketches lol, but yeah sorry things slowed I think I hurt my hand somehow, but sorry for the rant! I can get really ramble-y I’ve just never had a place to do so, despite my opinions I won’t be stoping posting art! So fret not, anyways, byeeeeeee!

[rafyki]

About Jack, Joke, and forgiveness

This is one of the main themes of the show, and we're shown this from the very first episode. The whole show is about Joke fighting to get Jack's forgiveness up until episode 5 when he finally get it. But it goes deeper than that, I think; both of their stories are somehow about this, about learning to forgive.

(and it's not even just about Jack and Joke, of course; I think it's natural that in a show with such flawed characters who keep making mistakes forgiveness will be an important theme. but let's focus on the two of them for now or this will become way too long).

Let's start from Jack, because he's the most obvious one

This is one of the first thing we learn of him, he can hold a grudge forever, he doesn't know how to forgive

(and I wonder if Grandma knows this bc maybe Jack still holds a grudge against his parents. of course they did what they did to help him, but they ended up hurting him, both bc he lost his parents and bc they ended up trapping him in a life of debt. Oh no, sounds familiar?)

Jack has to forgive people who hurt him, twice during the show: one of them is Joke, of course, the other one is the Coach. Both are people who deeply hurt him in the past and whose actions toward him negatively influenced his life today. And yet his reactions to their apologies are fundamentally different.

With Joke is all uncontrolled anger, he's so furious he even says that if he wants to be forgiven Joke should try dying.

Yet this is how he reacts to Coach

He has such opposite reactions to those apologies, and I think its because of a few reasons. First, I think he realizes that his current predicament isn't actually Joke's fault; he resents him for giving him false hope, and I think in a way he resents himself for being so naive and falling for it, but he knows that he would have ended up in that situation with Boss anyway, with or without Joke. He's angry because he liked Joke and he lied to him, not because he blames him for what his life has become, he's angry bc Joke represented something good in his life that ended up being a lie, ended up being as horrible as everything else.

With Coach is different, bc Jack's current situation really is also his fault. If he hadn't been a slave to power, if he had been braver and stood up against Carbon and his father then maybe Jack would be in the national team and he would be free of debt and of Boss. Coach is yet another adult who Jack trusted and then betrayed him, yet another adult who's at fault for Jack's life being like that. Coach is a symbol of everything that went wrong in Jack's life because of people in positions of power. Before him and apology, Jack feels empty bc he lost hope in the world, and forgiving the Coach would mean nothing, as nothing means his apology.

Joke fights to get that forgiveness, and Jack can see that; Joke dirties his hands to try and help him, he doesn't back off and he keeps trying - but he doesn't do that for himself, he doesn't do that to find his own peace (bc, and I'll tackle this later, Joke doesn't forgive himself anyway), he does it for Jack - everything he does is for Jack, never for himself. He considers himself the reason Jack is in that position, and he wants to help him because he loves him. And he goes above and beyond to do so.

Coach, on the other hand, he goes to apologize to Jack because he's feeling sorry for himself, bc looking back maybe voting for Jack might have helped him. I'm not saying he doesn't care about Jack at all, but like, he doesn't care that much, he cares mostly about himself. And in fact he backs down right away, he doesn't try to help (until Joke goes to him), he just cries for himself. And Jack has no reason to forgive him, doesn't really have any reason to keep thinking about him at all.

So what changes? I think what changes is that Joke makes him hope again - hope for a better future, hope that not everything in the world is horrible, hope that he can let himself dream again.

And that's why he forgives him; he forgive him even before he admits it; I think by ep 4 he has already given in, and that's bc he saw that Joke is trying so hard, he saw that everything he's doing he's doing it for him, to give him a way out of that life; Joke is showing him hope for the future, something that I don't think Jack had for the past five years.

And that's when he forgives Coach too, when Joke pushes him to talk to him again. When Jack forgives him, it's when he's surrounded by hope, in the place that he can build his dream in, with someone who's ready to support him any way he can by his side.

Joke taught Jack to forgive because he gave him back his ability to hope. Jack has grown so much because of it, and it's clear.

Joke, on the other hand, is the opposite. Joke never had any troubles forgiving, he never holds grudges even when it would be natural to do so. We see that over and over again - first with Tattoo and Hoy when Tattoo steals the necklace; then again with Tattoo when he betrays them yet again; with Jack after Jack pushes him away; and even with his dad, whom he has every right to hate and never forgive, Joke doesn't hold any grudge against him, he even tells him there's no need to apologies. He forgives and forgives and forgives, over and over again.

The only one he can't forgive is himself, always himself.

So while Jack has to learn to forgive others, Joke has to learn to forgive himself. His growth is one of learning self-love and self-acceptance.

He's always the problem in his eyes. He never blames other bc he's always blaming himself. And that's why he's always so ready to throw himself head first into danger. Because he isn't good enough, he isn't worth it, but everyone else? Everyone else is so much more valuable than he is, and so maybe if he can help them then he can somehow prove that he might be worth something? It doesn't matter that he could be hurt or die for it. We also see this over and over again, since the very first episode when he tries to help Rose, even though he knows he can't fight.

He tries so hard, he always tries so hard, and yet he keeps fucking up somehow, he keeps not being enough - and it's not like everyone can be wrong, right? So he must be the problem

When he looks through his brother's social media and look through all those pictures, what he sees is a happy family a family that's so much better off without him. He was the problem, and when he left they were all happier.

I think the only time we see him acknowledging that something isn't entirely his fault is with his dad:

He says this, but at the same time I think he's still blaming himself - bc he became a thief and all that bc his father never supported or loved him, but it's still also his own fault for not being good enough. He's never good enough in his own eyes.

His wish is to not be a burden to the people he loves

And when he finally thinks he's getting there, when he starts to believe that he might have found his place, everything comes crashing down on him.

His first reaction when he hears about what's happening in Suphanimit is to blame everything on himself.

He doesn't hesitate a second before blaming himself, it doesn't matter that he couldn't have predicted this outcome, doesn't matter that Boss is the one ruining everyone's lives, it doesn't matter that there were three other people with him when he stole the ring, three people that could and should take part of the blame on themselves - no, because even the fact that Tattoo, Hoy and Aran were involved is Joke's fault. If Joke hadn't gone to Suphanimit nothing would have happened, everyone would be happier. And that's not true, we all know that's not true! Because despite everything everyone's life is actually so much better thanks to Joke - Hoy and Tattoo are free from debt, Aran found people who actually love him, Jack is finally free to live his life. They all got there thanks to Joke, yet Joke can't see it. It's his fault, after all. His self-hatred blinds him from see the bigger picture of what he was able to accomplish.

That's why he doesn't hesitate of telling Jack that it's his fault, that he betrayed him and everything is his fault. He's actually twisting the reality of things here, bc it's simply not true, not in the way he's saying it at least, he never betrayed Jack. But he simply can't see it. Joke sees the world in nuances and shades of grey until it comes to himself - when it comes to himself it's simply black and white, he doesn't allow himself a second thought. He's wrong, he's the problem, and in his eyes this is the umpteenth proof of that.

Jack learned to forgive, but Joke still has a long way to go before really learning that he needs to forgive himself. I think the last two episodes will give us this, Joke finally growing out of this maze of self hatred, he will learn to see that he is worth it, that he can't blame himself for simply existing. He'll finally learn to forgive himself, and I can't wait for it to happen.

[lord-squiggletits]

Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.

[memento-morri-writes]

I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:

tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries

He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion.  Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave.  While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.

[enhanced-operatives-division]

i would love to hear about the ollie and handler crack ship here’s a silly doodle as well

LOVE THE DOODLE YOU SEE THE VISION!!!

Also this got my ass to design Ollie so:

(Love him - Also redesigned Reggie for this too so thanks!!)

And idk if it's moreso a crackship or a rarepair that only works in an AU (HACKS up Starstruck), but Reggie's line of "...and I hope Ollie made it out too. I hope a lot of things." It's totally me reading into it but like,,,,I want them to talk because Ollie is not dead to me in my heart of hearts.

Maybe the only change is like Reggie taps into the communication on the radio in Hot Water instead of using the earpiece, so Ollie ends up hearing him also? And they end up getting along really well (with Reggie having to jump through a couple hoops to be like "haha what agency..."). There's an Agency base in the South-East coast of Australia and maybe the Agency ends up adopting him after he washes up on the shore with the escape pod (after HEAVY questioning).

Alas take a doodle of my own:

Transcript (it's just canon lines):

Ollie: "She's being controlled, it's not her fault."

Reggie: "Agent, I have 0 experience dealing with giant security squids."

[danielnelsen]

sometimes it really does feel like awakening walked so inquisition could crawl

[tenwhiteandalusians]

pertaining to the idea of tenax’s band of strays i do think it’s touching that the kids are the ones who saved him and waited outside the door to make sure he’s okay. for all tenax claims to be harsh and cruel it’s a fine indicator of his character that the kids won’t rest without him and are there every time he’s in danger.

[keeps-ache]

💫💥today💥💫 i start learning blender >:| !!

[widevibratobitch]

took a bunch of clothes to my mom's to wash them since my washing machine is still down and she said 'ill do it dw about it' and threw my favourite white top in with the colours. i no longer have a favourite white top :)

[godlessbody]

sandra lynn imagine fumbling three of the baddest bitches in all of spyre and also gillear

[oogaboogaspookyman]

So this turned into a vent somehow!

[ourceliumnetwork]

me: completes a drawing it's taken me 3 weeks to get through also me: has at least one ongoing fiber art project and several writing projects

my brain: WE SHOULD MAKE BRAND NEW THINGS WITH THE YARN YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TOUCH UNTIL YOU FINISHED YOUR CURRENT PROJECTS.

me: can't argue with that

[pondscummy]

I feel like kind of a bad person for this but a lot of the time I really feel like I would heavily prefer dating a cis man to dating a trans man

[no-144444]

guilt tripping- o.piastri

summary: oscar asks something of you that you know you can't do. you do it anyway and it ends in you two almost breaking up. almost.

pairing: oscar piastri x fem! chronic illness! reader

a/n: hey yall, I just broke two ribs (lol) and got diagnosed with a chronic illness (lmao) so I might not be posting as frequently- just dealing with it physically and mentally so yah 😹

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅

“I don’t know if I can go,” you sighed, feeling even worse. 

“That’s alright,” he assured you, but you could hear the way his excitement depleted and his mood lowered. 

“M-maybe I can work something out, I don’t want to leave you alone,” your guilt grew everyday, this wasn’t healthy for either of you. 

“I don’t want you over-exerting yourself,” he spoke softly into the phone. “I’ll just ask mum if she has any friends that want to go or something. She always brings a million people with her.”

“I don’t want to leave you hanging Oscar. Melbourne is a big race. I’d be happy to come over like a week before, and then come to the race once I’ve had a few days to heal,” you bargained. A 22 hour connecting flight was not something you’d ever wanted to do. You couldn’t do it. You knew the pain would be too bad, yet you still stood there, offering it anyway. “And then I’d come for the race on Sunday, or just small bits on all the days.”

“Really?” his voice picked up, excited now. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure Osc, I love seeing you race,” your smile was more of a grimace than anything, but still, the guilt in your chest lessened as you listened to Oscar speak animatedly about the race weekend, while your anxiety ran through the roof. You couldn’t do all the things he wanted you to do, you never could. This had been a problem at the beginning of your relationship, every time he’d plan a date that wasn’t dinner or a movie, you’d have to break the news that a 15 kilometre hike wasn’t something you’d be able to do on a whim. Things like that took planning, physio, and preparation. Your chronic illness was no joke, and had limited you since you were a teenager. In the past few years he’d gotten much better at everything, from helping you with your physio exercises, attending pilates classes with you, knowing what to do on bad pain days, and always looking out for you in public. You knew he was just getting away with himself, and you didn't want to disappoint, so you agreed to it all, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t be a bad week of pain or flare-ups wise. 

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You got into Melbourne and sobbed when you got in the car. Thankfully, it was Hattie picking you up, so she just held your hand as you silently cried, the joint and too much to bear. You went straight to bed as Hattie explained to the rest of the house that you were exhausted, and Oscar took it at face value. You usually get extremely tired after long days, and you’d just had a 22-hour day of travel. 

“I’ll go check on her-” he started, desperate to see you but Hattie cut him off. 

“NO!” she squeaked, trying to not sound suspicious. Oscar raised an eyebrow. “She’s really tired and she’s already gone to sleep.”

“Yeah, well I’m tired so I’m going to bed,” he explained, stretching then yawning. 

“Osc,” Hattie sighed, knowing she had to tell him. “She’s not… alright. She can’t do 22 hour travel days like you or I can. She has Lupus and she’s still trying to figure out her medication, so it hurts all the time. She cried from the airport to here, all to support you because you asked her to, and she feels guilty every single time she can’t say yes. She’s done real damage to herself by coming here. I want you to understand that, do you understand that?” 

Oscar nodded, because the other option was breaking down into tears. Yes, he’d felt guilty that he couldn’t be there to take care of you while travelling, and he knew he was asking a lot of you when he asked. The guilt settled deep in his stomach and made him nauseous, but still he continued on to his bedroom where you were sleeping peacefully. He could see the puffy eyes, the red nose, the open bottles of medication on the nightstand. He wrapped an arm around your waist, another in your hair and pulled you as close as possible, whispering teary sorrys into your ear. 

When you woke up the next morning, you knew what you had to do. This wasn’t fair on either of you, and you needed to make a change. You quickly (but silently) got up, and started to leave the room, but Oscar grabbed ahold of your hand before you could leave. 

“Please don’t sneak out on me,” he begged, sitting up. He looked wrecked, puffy eyes, red rose- had he been crying? God, had you made him cry? 

“Osc, what’s wrong?” you asked, concern clear as day on your face as you cupped his face with your hands.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I knew I was asking too much when I asked you to come here, I’m so sorry.”

Your heart tightened in your chest. “Osc, I’m alright, I was just tired last night and-”

“Hattie told me,” his voice was deep, deeper than usual, and he pressed a gentle kiss to your hand. “And I’m so sorry.”

“Osc, I could’ve said no if I didn’t think I was able for it,” you tried to reassure him but he shook his head. 

“Y/n, you did say no and I didn’t take it as an answer,” he scoffed. 

You were stunned into silence. “I think we need to have a talk about us, Osc.”

He nodded, taking your hands in his. 

“This isn’t fair on you. I know I can't control my illness, and neither can you. It sucks, but it’s a fact. I wish I could be there for every single race and cheer you on with the other girls, but I can’t. It’s not in the cards for me right now, and I don’t know when it will be. Oscar, I love you so much, and you’ve been with me through everything and I know you deserve someone who can always be there for you, and I’m not that person right now. I love you but I know it’s not enough,” You finally looked at him and he was biting his lip as tears streamed down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head and stood up, dropping your hands as he paced his bedroom. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?” he asked and you nodded as you held back more tears. “So you know that I still feel your support even when we’re in different time zones or on different continents, right? You know that I value you being in as little pain as possible more than being at the barricade after a race, right? You know that I fucking love you more than I love racing, right? Y/n, I’ve been here the entire time, since we were 14 years old. You’re the reason I get in the car, you make me better, all the time it’s just you. I plan on being with you for my whole life, Y/n. I want to be there for everything. I plan to sit there through every appointment about medication until you find the one that actually helps you, I plan on being there for every day where you don’t feel up to it, I plan on being there for you, always. I never want to let go of you, and yeah, it is nice to be able to see you after a race, and I know that because fucking facetime exists. If you still want to break up because I fucked up by asking you to come here, go ahead, but don’t ever think that I’m without because I’m with you. I am so in love with you, Y/n. I mean it. I want to marry you one day, I want a family with you, I want to be old with you so we get to reminisce on the good ol’ days and make some more while we have time. ‘The good ol’ days’ will be the days I spend with you. More than any race win, more than any trophy, or than anything. My favourite part about a race weekend is coming home because I know no matter what my result was, you’ll be there with open arms, loving me anyways. You’re more than enough for me.”

You crossed the room and wrapped your arms around him, crying into his hoodie as he held you. “I love you too.”

After a few moments of both of you calming down, he finally spoke. “Can you forgive me for being such an asshole?” he asked, wiping his eyes. 

You nodded, a small smile on your face. “I can, can you forgive me for being such an idiot?”

He chuckled. “You’re no idiot,” he picked you up and gently placed you back on the bed lying beside you. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[midnightwriter21]

demon slayer hcs: the hashira men as boyfriends

characters: tengen, sanemi, giyuu, rengoku, muichiro, obanai

AN: i don’t write for gyomei srry

TENGEN

- this isn’t just a little fling

-mans doesn’t wanna be ur bf

-he wants to be your HUSBAND

- and he’s gonna make that happen ASAP

- and when y’all get married you’re not just getting a husband

- ur getting 3 wives too

- it’s a package deal

- overprotective!!

- the way he made his wives promise to prioritize their lives over the mission

- my heart was bursting

- carries u around

- when tengen is around ur feet hardly ever touch the floor

- doesn’t matter how big or tall u are

- he’s bigger and taller

-he's big all over if ykyk

-nicknames include: sweetheart, princess, baby

- and don’t think he’s saying those to be cute

- he’s absolutely mocking you

-which brings me to…

- this man teases the HELL out of you

- but with love

- he loves you just as much as he loves his wives

- in his mind ur alrdy married

- and he is NOT letting you go

- or letting any harm come to you as long as he can help it

- 4 lifer fr

- id marry him

SANEMI

-i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

-he’d tear it UP

-and i’d let him

- loves you so much

- doesn’t show it in public

- but in private?

- clingy as fUck

- he’s like ur shadow fr

- will follow u around all day

- hands on ur waist

- arm around ur shoulder

- holding ur hand

- he will not let go of u when ur alone

- in public he’s a lot less touchy

- but he will still stand near you

- jealous af

- every slayer knows by now to stay tf away from you or face the wrath of the wind pillar

- you belong to him

- makes sure they know it

- makes sure you know it

-hickey MASTER

-no i will not elaborate

- everybody knows sanemi is a little rough around the edges

- so there are days when it’s hard for him to open up to you

- but he does try

- he’s got a reputation to keep up!

-gotta act tough

-no weaknesses!!

- except for u

-he’s so soft for u he can’t help it

- nicknames: dumbass, idiot, & feather (my personal favorite)

-like i said he is almost always physically connected to u in some way when ur alone

-ignore him? he's throwing u over his shoulder

-he's strong he can manhandle u all over the place

-sheeeeeshhhhh manhandle me however u want sir

-claims ur super light no matter ur size

-hence the nickname "feather"

-i love him

GIYUU

-ik damn well this man had EVERONE in a chokehold from the first second he showed up

-speaking of chokeholds... ;)

-put me in one pls sir

-anyways

-awkward as fuck

-but he tries for u

-terrible with physical affection

-but we all know he's SOOO touch starved

-you'll have to initiate any type of physical touch

-and make sure he's not uncomfortable

-but really there's nothing he wants more than to touch you

-takes a very long time to say "i love you"

-but can u blame him??

-every good thing the poor man has ever had has been ripped away from him :(

-because of this he's veryyyy protective

-cause he'll be damned if the last person he has that accepts him and loves him for all he is

-is hurt or killed

-100% will die for u without a second thought

-not really a nickname type of guy

-remember he's awkward as hell

-most you'll get is a "-chan" attached to ur name

-and even that is only when y'all are alone

-but still

-even if he doesn't always show it

-you are always on his mind

-he's on a mission and walking through a market?

-he's buying you a hairpin or som

-walking through a forest and sees some flowers?

-"i wonder if she'll like these"

-AND HE'S PICKING U A BOUQUET

-ugh soft for bf giyuu

RENGOKU

-sunshine boy!!!

- epitome of golden retriever boyfriend

-all smiles all the time

-follows u around like lost puppy

-shows off for u

-yk when ur around kids and they're like "watch this" and then they jump and spin a circle lmao

-thats him

-"did you see what i just did?!"

-if u didnt...

-he's doing it again

-wants to impress you so bad

-also you will never have to lift a finger in his presence

-service bf!!

-you need the dishes washed and the floor swept?

-he's on it

-you need help styling ur hair?

-welcome to rengoku's hair salon

-will attempt to dress you in the morning

-and by dress you, i mean he's tugging ur shirt over ur head

-zipping up ur pants

-and tying ur shoes

-brags about you to anyone and everyone

-the other hashira can't have a single conversation with him without him bringing you up somehow

-compliments compliments compliments!!!

-he loves you and isn't afraid to show it

-nicknames from him: my love, my beautiful girl, sweetheart

-constantly confessing his love

-also lowkey speaks poetry for u

-some shit like

-"my light in the darkness, the one who gives me strength, you set my heart ablaze just by allowing me the privilege of seeing your smile"

-ugh he's the sweetest baby

MUICHIRO

-my airheaded angel baby

-i love him sm stop

-baby boy has a terrible memory

-that we alrdy knew

-but!

-he tries so hard for you

-keeps a little journal with notes and information about you

-so if he forgets he can remind himself over and over

-when he's on missions away from you he reads it so he can think about you to pass the time

-can not and will not remember anniversaries

-unless they're written in that journal

-will pick u flowers

-hope ur not allergic cause he's not gonna remember that

-but it's the thought that counts

-the fact that he's thinking about you at all counts

-you wanna go on a date?

-your dates consist of watching the clouds and taking naps together

-maybe a picnic if ur lucky

-no nicknames from him

-he calls you by your name

-its all he can remember

-he's the cutest

OBANAI

-like sanemi, he's a lot less affectionate in public

-however, he's not afraid to express his thoughts about you

-at least not to the other hashira

-might not be glued to your side

-but he's got eyes on u at all times

-and someone is talking about you?

-the second he hears ur name leave somebodies mouth

-he's tuned in

-and they better not say anything negative either

-mans turns murderous

-they will wake up to a snake in their bed

-will prob threaten them within an inch of their life

-don't have to worry abt other people while he's around

-cause he's got everything

-and i mean EVERYTHING taken care of

-protective but not pushy

-i feel like obanai trusts you and your ability to handle yourself

-but thats not gonna stop him from watching over you

-you're not drinking enough water?

-here comes obanai with a cup and u better drink it all

-haven't had lunch yet?

-he's sharing his with you. and will force feed u if need be.

-on a mission with him?

-he's not gonna push u behind him or anything

-but nothing is gonna get the chance to bring any harm to you either

-he's got ur back

-he's pretty vanilla with the nicknames

-nothing too crazy

-especially in public

-mostly uses ur first name

-might add a "-chan" in there every once in a while

-when ur alone he'll call you "sweetie"

-acts like a hard ass

-but he's soft for u