#not really an incorrect quote

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

Me, looking at Creepypasta content: if there’s no found family what is the goddamn point

[echoishere69]

Dick: Hey Jason I was wondering- are you watching Mamma Mia?!

Jason: Um no?

Dick: Move the fuck over I love this movie.

Jason and Dick sit and watch Mamma Mia 1 and 2 together and cry their eyes out together.

[therighthandofvengeance]

Psi Corps: Maternis; paternis

Everyone else: Sic semper tyrannis

[anyknotrants]

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

[tiger-grace]

Jason: I have a bone to pick with you

Bruce, just happy to talk to his estranged son: sure, what’s going on?

Jason, pulling out an entire femur: I stole this evidence from a crime scene. I need help with a case

Duke: hey B I have a bone to pick with you really quick

Bruce, on the verge of tears: please don’t.

Duke: I? just have a question?

[demaparbat-hp]

He truly did.

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Ruth Fleming:

Ruth was on tumblr and you can't convince me other wise. her whole energy is very "I read too much smut at a young age"

[everwalldigan]

You know what would be really funny. If Jason had the most normal/conventional food taste out of his siblings (still very far from regular people’s “normal”), he’s stuck in the manor because of an injury and therefore has to witness the culinary WAR CRIMES his siblings consume for sustenance. Since there’s no Alfred to stop them anymore, they have been running rampant.

Jason: What. The fuck. Is that.

Damian, pouring out a green sludge into two cups: father and I’s breakfast smoothie, or did you hit your head hard enough to forget the concept of a smoothie?

Jason, scooting his chair away clutching his water bottle to his chest: yeah I dont know what nuclear reactive, Gotham harbour concoction you so flagrantly bestow the title of “smoothie” on but keep that shit FAR away from me

Tim: *sits down next to Jason, cracks open a can of energy drink and pours it into a glass, pouring milk on top until it reaches the brim*

Jason, with tears in his eyes looking at Dick for help:

Dick: *shrugs, shoving a fistful of dry cheerios into his mouth*

Jason: *turns his horrified gaze to Cass*

Cass: *grins at him toothily with two heaping plates of a full English breakfast sitting in front of her. He has no idea where she got it from. She is using a set of utensils for each plate.*

Jason: *stands up calmly* maybe I should stop looking for the unstable bomb I lost in the manor the other week *walks out of the kitchen, a few moments later a shrill scream is heard*

[fanaticalthings]

important family group chat discussions

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[frownyalfred]

Roy: having the Bats as friends is so weird. I was crying and they just told me to “lock in”

Oliver:

Roy: and then I did

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Dick, at Damian soccer game, watching from the sidelines: Wooo! Let’s go Dami!

Random lady: Oh is he your son?

Dick, touched: Oh ha, he’s actually my brother!

*Later*

Dick, hanging out with Tim: Come on we should get ice cream.

Random Guy: Oh out for some father son bonding time?

Dick, grasping at the thought of looking old enough to have a college aged son: w h a t

[ochiody]

saw this and was reminded of them

[aludraslytherin]

Lily: Does anyone know why James and Regulus are sitting back to back holding hands?

Barty: They got in a pretty bad fight, Reg is mad at Potter.

Lily: Okay but why the hand holding then?

Remus: James got scared that Regulus doesn't love him anymore, so that's their solution until they calm down.

[bruciemilf]

Battinson as a parent: oh, I’m sorry that you fell , Jay. Yes, the ground shouldn’t have tripped you. Bad ground. Would you like an ice cream to feel better?

Thomas when Bruce jumped off the slide and broke his arm because some kid dared him to: Bet you won’t do that dumbass shit again, huh?

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Tim, suddenlly looking up: Oh My God Dick: What? are you okay? What happened? Tim: I just realized why Jason keeps making jokes about how he died Jason: Yeah, because I died. It was a fairly big thing Tim: No, it's because nothing else happened when you were Robin Jason: What Tim: Dick's the original Robin and the first sidekick, not to mention Discowing, so he has a lot to joke about- Dick: Hey! Discowing was cool Tim: No it was not. Neither was Ric without a k. Never be anything but Nightwing Dick: Aw, you like it when I'm myself Tim: No, I'm less tramatized when you're yourself. Anyway, Steph started a gang war, Demon Brat died and came back to life and is still Robin, Duke's not Robin but he started We Are Robin and jumped out of a police car before being a vigilante and I have my own things that we don't need to discus- Dick: Saved the world in a intergalatic baseball game- Jason: Hid the purchase of your own batmoblie in the batarang expenses- Dick: Sunk around and took photos of vigilante at the age of 9- Tim: THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS! Back to what I was saying, Jason's the boring robin Jason: Rude- Tim: You were the good robin, the little crazy shit you did like steal the tires off the batmobile were kinda overshadowed by the fact that you like Jane Austen and you been red hood is because you died so everything you've done since then still has to do with the one thing that happened to you as Robin Dick: Oh My God. You said you were sticking to the same joke over and over again so it would have the same effect, but really you have nothing else to make jokes about Tim: Exactly! Jason: We really don't have to talk about this- Tim: I need to go tell Steph immediately Dick: I need to go tell everyone immediately

[your-royal-momoness]

Zuko: well, if I was the blue spirit

Zuko: AND I’M NOT

Sokka: *suspiciously and reluctantly crosses out Zuko’s name on his list of possible blue spirit suspects*