#not only that but hes a spirit possessing a corpse which makes his deal very unique

[windupaidoneus]

ok ive finished the dlc so now i can properly say my least favourite thing about dragon age awakening is that the women feel like an afterthought & don't fit in the group at all. & i want to care about them & their banter so much. but i really don't because the game is giving me fucking nothing

[thedinanshiral]

Today is a fine day as any to rise the dead, but first we need to spell something out. We don't know enough about this intriguing necromancer from Nevarra so this one should be shorter.

So far we only have a couple of source materials, the story "Down among dead men" from Tevinter Nights, and the short story The Flame Eternal. And there's already some minor discrepancy between them. Emmrich's last name is Volkahrin in Tevinter Nights and Volkarin in The Flame Eternal. His short profile on the Dragon Age The Veilguard site only calls him by his first name, so until more information is revealed and the correct spelling of his name officially confirmed i'll use the original spelling, the first we got from Tevinter Nights.

Meet Emmrich Volkahrin, a Mortalitasi from Nevarra, member of the Mourn Watch, a seemingly delightful gentleman, described in his short profile as a well-meaning scholar.

Nevarra is a kingdom at the center of Thedas, south of Tevinter and north of the Waking Sea, famous mainly for two things: their unmatched tradition in dragon hunting and their reverence for the dead around which they've built much of their culture. While in most of the Andrastian lands the dead are cremated to avoid possession of the corpses by the spirits that may be drawn to cross the Veil by the array of emotions that usually follow death, Nevarrans do not; quite the contrary, they've built a Grand Necropolis across the ages where their dead are put to rest. Except not all the dead like to be put to rest so some may rise on occassion and wander about a bit. Most mages in Nevarra if not all are Mortalitasi, necromancers, and among them a special group called the Mourn Watch are in charge of taking care of the dead things that won't stay dead enough. They deal with possessions, early possessions, a number of oddities that arise in the deeper levels of the Necropolis, gathering information by making the dead speak again, and gods know what else. Their perception of the dead is different from anything we've seen in Thedas so far. It seems is common for them to even make use of those no longer living, and skeletal assistants or servants are a common sight near Mortalitasi mages.

So far we've learned of very few Nevarran Mortalitasi, and they all seem to be rather.. dry. Emmrich is the first one so far with a certain charm. He enjoys a nice cup of tea, has a skeleton assistant called Manfred, and he very naturally expresses a sincere excitement when knowledge is involved, be it when others express their curiosity or when there's a chance to learn something new. He's not just a necromancer on the clock, he's also a dedicated scholar. In The Flame Eternal he says to a fellow necromancer who's only interested in getting the job done quickly:

“What sort of passion drives one spirit above the rest? What tangle of thoughts and heart returned this soul?”.

He's not just doing a job, he's interested in understanding the motivations behind it, what drives the dead to act past their time. In Down among dead men his role is a small one, the story is actually about a guardsman name Audric Felhausen who after an attack by a possessed corpse during its funerary rites is sent to accompany a Watcher -Myrna, of the Mourn Watch- down into the Grand Necropolis to catch the running dead man, only to soon learn he's not quite alive himself anymore and the intrusive thoughts and memories of his love for books and architecture were indicative of his own new nature. Once the issue with the Pride-possessed deceassed noble is resolved they returned to Emmrich and decided Audric, who's still clinging to the world of the living for his love of books, takes a position at the Library.

In The Flame Eternal, we're introduced to a younger Emmrich Volkahrin, who alongside fellow necromancer Johanna Hezenkoss, was tasked to resolve the issue of a screaming skull. It turned out the wife of the decesased had recently passed and even in death the love endured and the skull simply wanted to rest by his beloved. When Johanna complains all the fuss the skull did was just for his dead wife, Emmrich responds “Oh, I don’t know (...) It would be rather fine to possess such an enduring affection."

In the few lines from him we've gotten so far i think he comes across as a kind and charming man, even if maybe a bit odd considering his line of work and how calm he seems about it. Seems he respects the dead too and doesn't just see them as mere tools.

Design wise, he's also very interesting. If he looks like Vincent Price, chances are it's intentional, but it hasn't been confirmed beyond casual mentions from one or two devs who've made that reference. We don't have a specific age for him but one can be estimated, as in the beginning of The Flame Eternal we're told those events occurred thirty years ago in 9:22 Dragon. Inquisition takes place in 9:42, Trespasser events happen in 9:44, and ten years after that we have The Veilguard, so curently they're in 9:54. Knowing this short story was published in 2021, it adds up that in Thedas it was 9:52, and if we presume Emmrich must have been at the very least 20 years old the youngest he could be is about 52. He could be even older, he certainly looks like he could be in his 60s already.

In his companion tarot card we see him in better detail. The skeleton up front may be Manfred, his assistant, and i find the little skeletons on the side the cutest things ever, like tiny puppets. I think that's the idea behind this card, actually, the necromancer rising the dead, his magic as the strings of the puppeteer that will decide how the puppet moves.

Many were suspicious of his right hand from the party's teased picture, because it looks off, red and just generally weird but as seen on his tarot card, that's actually a glove. That he wears rings over the glove must be a personal choice. And that's an interesting one if we look at his left hand and arm. More rings and bangles to last a lifetime. Is it just his style, or does all that jewelry serve a more specific purpose than adding to his looks? Maybe it's all enchanted, one certainly needs protection when dealing with the other side. Guess we'll know in the future.

We don't really know much else about him. Gameplay wise the reveal trailer gave us nothing, he's barely a little guy in the distance during the fight scene..

Yeah, that's Emmrich, chased down by the red lyrium darkswpan. No staff, no green necromancer sparks, no idea of what he might be like in combat yet.

In another piece of official art we see him alongside Manfred and i think Emmrich looks rather confident when facing the enemy here.

I suspect he's the confident and charming scholar type to whom said qualities occur so naturally he is not entirely aware of it or of the effect he has on those around him. Of course as a sholar and a necromancer he surely has a certain aura of that may be offputting to some as well. What little was hinted of him as a companion was in relation to his romance, a dev described it as "intimate and sensual".

Hopefully we'll get more details in the upcoming days. I'm curious to know more about all the new companions but him, specifically, i'm more curious about.

[darrens-toyhouse]

The Haunting of Ethan Cho: Connected!

Trigger Warning: Mentions of self-harm and blood.

The titled is so edgy, I am so sorry ×_×

Ash Artanya and Russell Firkins belong to @jafanadis

Estevan Aguliar and Rolando Correa belong to @mrboogerlip

Another giftfic hooray!! And it takes place in an alternate universe???? YAY!!!

For context, this is an Alternate Universe or AU where our silly wittle gym bro, Ethan Cho, was born {or cursed} with the ability to see and talk to those who have passed on only for his super sensitive, crybaby boyfriend, Milo to basically say goodbye in the worst way possible. Ethan, feeling the immense and intense guilt over not being able to stop Milo from doing what he did, hid Milo's corpse in the closet, and is now tethered with the ghost of his deceased boyfriend, haunting him endlessly while also having to deal with their friends finding out that Milo is dead by making a copious amount of lies while also hiding his ability to see ghost.

This giftfic is an add-on to Ethan's problems, now he has to hide the fact that he allowed Milo to possess him. Which is very VERY bad for the both of them since well, Milo is a very VERY broken and disorted spirit, despite being a newer spirit whose form should not be as bad as it is! He literally doesn't have a jaw anymore and can't speak, only making grunts and groans. He's also very prone to causing extremely unpredictable and hazardous outburst! Milo's very dangerous and can also be hostile which is just odd since again, he's a newer spirit, he died not to long ago but he can also feel pain??? Even, Ethan, the literal person who can see and talk to ghost finds his own boyfriend, strange and he might even be scared of him...

~~~

The first thing he did was light the candles and turn off the bathroom light and close the door before filling the tub up with freezing cold water. Since he had been surfing down old forums for quite some time now, he found the perfect ritual for the two of them!

They could finally be together! In one vessel!

 And while the ritual did mention possible side-effects, he didn't care one bit!

Everything had to be perfect!

He was becoming so desperate and his paranoia had been eating him up for so long that at this point, he'd rather let his lover take full control over his body than to be stuck with no one at all, even if it was just for a day…

"Okay, Candles, check. Water, check. Everything turned off check, check, check! Now all I need to do is…"

Ethan began to read the ritual's steps off his phone and croaked. He was supposed to fill the tub up first, then light the candles. He simply scuffed at the rules in front of him and pushed them aside.

"Oh well, getting a few things wrong never hurt anyone! Right, Milo?"

No response? Odd? Infact Ethan didn't even notice that now it was quiet.

Too quiet…

No ticking, no clicking, not even a single groan. Ethan shook his head. Now wasn't the time to start fooling around, that's what essentially got him in this mess in the first place!

While scrolling down the steps page, he came across the 5th step. Fear painted his face as he scrolled back up before finally checking his notifications. It was a text message…from the group chat…

"A trip to the movies? And a sleepover!?!"

Ethan bit his lip as he looked at the knife that sat on the board. Maybe if he did it as quick as possible then he'd have enough time to get dress, pack some of his things in a bag and-

Wait! What about the corpse!?!

Ethan covered his ears and shook his head once again, "Ignore it! Now's not the time! Stop getting distracted, you nut-brain!"

He quickly typed back and told the chat to pick him up around…8:30, before steadily moving his phone away from the board, taking off his shirt and picking up the knife.

He had never done this before so he had to be pretty careful, otherwise he could end up dead too. He rolled up his shirt and put it in his mouth to bite down on so his neighbors couldn't hear him scream and began to mark himself with an X on his chest, blood spilling on the sprite board.

Panting and shaking, Ethan knew he had to go quicker. It was already 7:49, after all. 

He began to cut a little faster but quaked when he accidentally went too deep and proceeded to hack up the shirt as well as small splotches of blood out of his mouth as a reflex or his body's way of telling to stop with this crazy stuff and to just accept the fact that Milo was-

"No! It's always been me and him, and I'm not gonna let him down now!"

Ethan pulled the knife out of his chest and stood up before instantly holding onto the bathroom sink, panting. Sweat ran down his face as he wiped the blood from his mouth before compressing the bleeding wound with his hand. Because even though he wanted to be with Milo forever, he didn't want to die either!

Feeling his head spin from the possible blood loss he was experiencing, Ethan grabbed his shirt and put it over the wound before taking off his pants with his free hand while the other occupied keeping him alive. He threw his pants along with his boxers and took two steps backwards before clumsily falling into the tub, water splashing everywhere.

As the cold cold water took him under, he closed his eyes and began to drift off into a somberful sleep…

~~~

“ETHAN!?!”

A familiar voice called out as he was dragged out of the water, gasping for air. Water drizzled hastily down his hair as he tried to make out who had just said his name and pulled him out of the tub.

As he looked up, his vision became more clear.

It was Russell and Rolando? What were they doing here?

Sitting upright in the tub, Ethan looked around, mouth agape with a shocked expression on his face. Clearly he had no idea what was going on or how he even got in the tub in the first place or why there was blood scattered across the bathroom floor and sink.

Rolando was the first to finally break the silence within the bathroom as he and Russell helped Ethan out of the tub and wrapped his waist with a nearby towel, before letting him sit down in between them so he could collect his thoughts.

"Y-You alright, little man. Looked like you were trying to summon a ghost or something in here?"

As Rolando looked around, his boyfriend, Estevan then altered the three that he had found something.

Something sharp!

Ash, who had been helping Estevan examine the bathroom for any scenes of a break in, spoke up once he saw the object.

"A…knife?"

Estevan nodded. He put the knife in a plastic bag and began looking for more clues. As a police officer, it was his job anyway to serve and protect.

Russell then integrated once he smelled something foul, "Bleh! Anyone else smell that?"

Rolando scrunched his nose and gagged, "I knew I smelled something off when we came in earlie. It almost smells like-"

"A rotting corpse?"

Ash turned his nose upwards before quickly realizing it was coming from the bedroom. He turned to Estevan and asked if they could go investigate over there to which Estevan nodded in response.

"We can check the bedroom, but I don't think we're gonna find anything in there either. The only thing I found were fingerprints on the knife and, well, of course the bloody footprints. Some small, some big."

Estevan bit his lip as Rolando raised his hand to speak. He realized something was a bit off about that last sentence.

"That doesn't make any sense, babe? How can there be small footprints…and big footprints?"

Estevan blushed. He tried to say something but pulled away once Rolando had called him babe. Aww! What a sensitive guy!

Russell then rolled his eyes, "Now's not the time to start flirting, you two! Ethan's already traumatized as it is! Look at him!"

As the other three shifted their attention over to Ethan, he looked up at them and then back around the room, mouth now closed. He was shivering and shaking from the cold water that was now dripping onto the already ruined floor.

"Ethan, speak!"

"He's not a dog, Rolando-"

Before Ash could finish his sentence, Ethan shouted back, blood drooling out of his mouth.

"...Speak!"

The others slowly backed away as Ethan started giggling and smiling to himself which soon turned into manic laughter as he rocked back and forth, blood dripping down his mouth as that laughter soon turned into manic crying as he repeated the word 'speak' over and over. 

Until Rolando shouted at him again, "Ethan, stop!"

And just like that, Ethan immediately stopped smiling. As his laughing steadily subsided, he gave his friends a death glare before continuing to rock back and forth, this time only slower.

"Soooo, we're just gonna ignore what just what just-Hey! Where are you two going?"

Rolando got up and immediately halted Estevan and Ash walking out of the bathroom to which Estevan turned around and rolled his eyes.

"To the bedroom? Duh! I gotta figure out what happened here, it is my job, after all, babe. And besides you two can watch over Ethan…right?"

Rolando gulped as he turned his head and down at Ethan, legs shaking, "I don't know, he seems a little…off."

Russell cleared his throat and fixed his collar, "Yeah, more so than when we bumped into him. Or when we took him out for ice cream? Or when we asked him where Milo was and he just kept dodging the question by telling us that Milo was sick or visiting outside family or-"

Ash pondered as it hit him, "Yeah, wait, a minute? Speaking of Milo…where is he?"

"Ethan, did you try to sacrifice Milo again?"

"Rolando, this isn't the time to be making jokes. We need to find out what happened and more importantly, if it involves Milo in any way. Come on, Ash."

As Estevan and Ash finally walked out of the bathroom, Russell sighed.

"This is ludicrous…"

Rolando turned to face his red-headed friend and gave him a smile.

"Don't worry, Russell. At least, Ethan's…okay?"

The two turned their attention to Ethan, who was as quiet as a mouse and looking down at the floor, still rocking back and forth as if he was in a trance. Rolando tried to get his attention again like before but this time Ethan remained completely silent causing Rolando to sigh and lift his head up back to Russell.

"Hey, Russell, can you pass that rag over there so I can clean off Ethan's face, thanks dude!"

Russell got up and walked over to the towel rack by the toilet and put his hand on the pink rag, picking it up and handing it to Rolando.

"This one?"

Rolando pointed to the other rag sitting across from the pink rag, "No, no, the green one."

Russell nodded and picked up the green rag, handing it to Rolando, before sitting back down on the edge of the tub to think.

"If Ethan's okay?"

Russell paused, He looked up at Rolando with sad, worried eyes and forced himself to smile. They both knew that something was wrong but they just couldn't figure out why?

"Milo should be okay too, right?"

A weak chuckle escaped Rolando's lips as he nodded.

"Milo's definitely fine! It's not like he would just up and leave without telling any of us after all. And besides if someone did try to hurt Milo, we'd be the first to know! Right, Ethan?"

Silence…

Not a single word escaped Ethan's lips…

~~~

In the bedroom, by the window was when Ash had spotted his first ever clue as Estevan studied the rest of the room on his own. 

On top of the lamp table on the right side of the bed was a bottle of what seemed to be pink prescription pills. He picked up the bottle and read the bold labeled sticker that was on the side and raised an eyebrow.

"Allium? What's that?"

Ash asked as he handed the bottle over to Estevan, who also raised an eyebrow as he read to label.

"Allium? I…I never heard of this before or at all even?"

"Is…", Ash gulped, "Is it illegal?"

"Ash, please. Does Milo look like the type of guy who would take drugs? Let alone, buy them?"

Ash shook his head as a snicker escaped his and Estevan's lips before they continued back to examining the room.

"Though, I am curious, where did you find those?"

The elfen-man pointed over to the lamp table where he had found his first clue, it also had several pink pills, a half-empty warm water bottle and a pink opened journal scattered on top of it. There was also a broken draw that had its hinges completely ripped off and some of the screws were covered in what seemed to be…blood? It became clear to the two that this was probably something way more than just a weird break in.

The first thing Estevan did was pick up the screws with his gloved hands and put them in a little baggy just like he had done with the knife that now sat on Ethan's study desk, next to his computer that was left on and displayed several pictures of Milo, and just Milo only.

"Aww, it seems Ethan was trying to scrapbook some photos! Look, Estevan!"

Ash walked over to the computer and pointed at it before sitting down on the large neon green and coal black ‘gamer’ chair and swiveled himself around to face the computer.

Estevan gave Ash a puzzled look, "You're gonna check Ethan's computer for clues?"

"Mm-hm! Seemed he also left a few tabs open too! I mean there's the usual tabs like Minecraft for free, cats pictures and…how to stop comparing my elf friend to a tomato?"

Ash paused and cleared his throat. He then picked back up with reading all of Ethan's tabs.

"Oh, there's also, how to swim without drowning? How to fight my friends? What should I do if I run out of toothpaste? There's also the more…personal stuff. Maybe, after this we should talk with Ethan and-"

"Let me, see."

"Huh?"

"The tabs. I wanna see if there's anything else, Ash."

"O-oh. Go ahead, be my guest."

Ash got up and gave Estevan a nervous smile. He watched as the man sat down and started to comb through all of Ethan's tabs.

"Sweet Jesus, how many tabs does this guy have open? Just look at this! And I can't even find the naughty stuff!"

Ash cleared his throat and raised his hand to speak, "So we're done here right? But about the Allium? And the journal? We haven't read that pink journal yet! I'm a bit curious to see what's inside."

"Well, I already have the Allium pills in this little baggy here. Gonna take them to the lab to get them tested, after our movie of course. Rolando did…promise me."

Estevan blushed as Ash made his way back to the pink journal. It had a fluffy, soft case with a brown chocolate bunny on it and looked to have been a quick and cheap easter gift judging by the fact there were also colorful eggs surrounding the tiny chocolate bunny.

As Ash skimmed through page one, he soon realized this wasn't any journal but a diary and judging by the small yet neat handwriting, he could tell who exactly this diary belonged to.

Coming back to reality, Estevan hovered behind Ash and asked, "So what's it say?"

To which Ask simply replied with a sigh and a sad smile as he began to read the diary out to him.

Dear Diary

You know, this is the greatest gift Ethan has ever got me! It's sweet yet simple! He tries to be so over the top sometimes with his gifts like how on Valentine's Day he got me a cruise ship! Yes a cruise ship, completely covered in red and pink valentine's day theme tinsel and bows. There was also tons and tons of chocolate, all of which came delivered to us melted but I didn't care I was just so happy I almost started crying! I love that man with all my heart and I really REALLY wish I could treat him the same way he treats me! I'll just have to try harder to outdo him! Next Valentine's Day will be my year! 

Oh and speaking of gifts, I also just got some new pills from the pharmacy today, Allium pills! My doctor says they're supposed to ease my anxiousness and sadness, so I took one right away. I don't really feel any different sadly? I just feel the same. Maybe some snacks will help! I've been in the mood for some popcorn lately…

So...

I burnt the popcorn…

I thought the timer said 4:50 but it actually said 1:50 and I ended up burning my popcorn and when Ethan got home, I told him and he immediately just patted my head, gave me a kiss and said he'll make me a new bag. I told him I could make it myself but he insisted that I go and relax. I'm still not used to having others do things for me since I've been so used to doing things on my own…it hurts a little but I don't know why? Oh, well.

Ethan gave me my popcorn and we sat down and watched his entire dvd collection of his favorite show, Paranormal Night. He told me that he was so lucky to have found the entire season 1 season 2 on sale and now he could relive his childhood! I just found the show to be a bit odd though, but that might be because I didn't really grow up with as much of this type of punk, gothic, emo stuff. Unlike my adorable, boobalicious, bear~bear! He loves this stuff and he's even asked me once if I could help him get back into painting his nails and helping him with his eyeliner. 

I think for next Christmas I'll get him those platform boots he's been asking for! On top of that, Christmas is also his birthday! Yay! So I might even get him his very own choker so we can match!

+++

So we just got done watching episode 9 of Paranormal Night, Ethan did warn me earlier that that episode was very…bad I guess? I dunno how to explain it tee~hee! I did walk out though once it started to get a bit too real but I did not cry! I am a grown-man! I can handle a few…bad thoughts you know! 

After I walked back in, Ethan tried his best to comfort me but I told him that I was fine and just needed a breather. I guess he didn't believe me though, because he started wrapping me up in the covers and hugging me. But again I did not cry! I am fine! And I wish everyone would stop asking ME if I'm okay! 

I'm gonna go to bed, goodnight!

Dear Diary

I tried going out with the boys today but I just didn't feel like getting out of bed. Ethan tried to bribe me with cupcakes and cookies and candies like he always does but it just didn't work. And now, while I'm here writing my thoughts, Russell and Estevan {my frens <3} blow up my phone and send me pictures saying how they wished I was here with them, getting ice cream and sweet buns. Maybe next time? I mean the three of us haven't hung out in like forever so…I dunno?

I just took an Allium pill and still nothing. But I do feel a bit dazed and like I'm just really really tired. I might just make this a short entry for now, so goodnight?

+++

Forget sleeping, the boys came back and brought me ice cream, vanilla with rainbow sprinkles, my favorite. We all sat down in the living room and talked for a bit until Rolando pointed out my sleepybags. I just shrugged it off and told everyone not to worry and that I was just tired, which was true. I almost fell asleep in the middle of our conversation but immediately forced myself to stay awake. 

After that little convo between me and Rolando, Estevan suggested that we, and by we I mean all of us, go see a movie. I flat-out refused. Told him, I was just too tired. Russell turned to me and asked me why I was being so off lately and I just told him, like how I told Estevan, I was just way too tired. 

But the truth is I didn't know why I was being so off either? 

And I think Russell knew that. 

Because he turned to Estevan and before I knew it they both pulled me aside and began to ask if I was okay. 

And just like before I told them I was tired but it seemed they didn't get the memo because then they started to ask why I was shaking? 

Or why did I look so sad?

I tried to smile to show them that I was okay but they saw right through it. 

Russell tried to hug me and Estevan tried to talk to me but I just…I dunno stepped back in fear maybe? I ended up making them both sad but I didn't feel bad at all in fact I just felt so out it?

I need a drink…of apple juice because I'm responsible!

Goodnight.

Dear Diary

I pushed through and finally went outside for the first time in ages. No bridging needed. The drive took ages though! Just to get to Ciero from where we live, it took like 10 hours! Maybe even longer! I fell asleep during half of the ride there though and by the time I woke up, we had to make ANOTHER pit stop for gas!

Right now I'm kinda just chilling on the couch, wearing my favorite dress and writing this all down. I do feel a bit off but that's probably because I haven't been out in sooooo long and to be surrounded by all my friends, still just feels way too weird for me. Maybe I should try to be more social? But there's nothing for me to really talk about.

Estevan and Rolando are more mature, more stoic, more laid back, ya know while Ash and Russell are more kind, more energetic, and easy to talk to but I don't know? I feel like if I talk to any of them, I'm gonna make a fool out of myself! 

Maybe I should just stay in my little corner?

Dear Diary

I don't know what to write anymore. I've been flipping through these messy, scribbled pages to find anything else to write about but seems I'm just stuck.

Stuck on writing. Stuck on drawing.

Stuck on everything!

I can't do anything!

My past is still ingrained in my mind, the friends that I have lost and the friends that I have gained are starting to intertwine with one another and the old friends are taking over! Everywhere I go, I see their faces! Taunting me, haunting me! Reminding me that I am nothing! I will always be known as Milo JOSIAH Campbell! Yet I am trying to change and change does take time, I know that but now people...belittle me as if I'm some child and not an adult struggling with himself every single day! The cuts on my arms, the markings my neck, my bruised up knees and tormented skin are all signs that I do need help and I want others to listen to my pain and yet...

I'm scared...

The rest of the pages had been scribbled out with blood red ink, before being attacked by childlike drawings of his missing friend.

Estevan glanced up at Ash with a troublesome expression and began to say something but stopped once they heard as THUMP, coming straight from the bathroom.

Ash tossed the diary down by closet and ran right behind Estevan and what the two had saw shocked them to their core.

Rolando and Russell had been holding Ethan down on the hard titled floor to restrain him. When Estevan questioned why they were restraining him and what even happened, that's when Ethan glanced up at him and let out a cold hiss. A large bloody wound had appeared on Ethan's forehead, clearly it wasn't there before but neither was the broken, crimson stained glasses beneath their feet.

Ash's eyes grew wide with fear as he stood there, shaking. He looked over to Estevan for guidance but it seems, he too, was afraid.

"Hold him still!"

Rolando shouted at Russell as he squeezed Ethan's left arm to try and restrain him better but also to stop the endlessly squirming and kicking.

"I-I'm trying! It's just that-OW!"

And even biting.

Russell pulled back, and looked down at his arm. His skin had been tore apart by teeth as a familiar crimson liquid leaked out of his arm altering his lover of his pain. Once Ash had pulled an injured Russell away from the commotion to bandage him up, Estevan stepped in to restrain Ethan. He knew he could handle a few markings to the arm yet what he wasn't prepared for was the endlessly ear-piercing screams and wails that had escaped Ethan's mouth once Estevan got a hold of him. They were so high-pitch it made everyone in that messy bathroom cover their ears!

"M-m-make it stop!"

Russell was the first to cry out. Once he could feel himself start to become uncomfortable and distracted by the screaming and waling and endlessly crying, his flapped his hands and started to cry himself, a sign his way having a meltdown. He sat himself down and huddled himself in a lonely corner by the bathroom door, putting his knees close to his chest and his head down in his lap. Ash, being the sweet and naturing boyfriend he was, sat down next to Russell and pulled him close to him, covering Russell's ears as a way to just block off this noise!

As Rolando and Estevan struggled to hold Ethan down any longer, they glanced up at each other. One was shaking with fear and worry, trying so desperately to figure out what was wrong with his friend as tears streamed down his face while the other looked content. Sure he was also a bit afraid and maybe even a bit upset that he had to do this in the first place, but still it was better safe than sorry. It became clear to him that his friend was most likely a danger now and had definitely tried to hurt himself!

After all why would there be glass everywhere? A shattered mirror? A bleeding gash in his head? It was all adding up in his head!

Their glance then turned sway from one another and at the duo sitting in their corner. Ash swallowed his spit and wipe his tears, while he was more concerned about Russell's safety he was also very worried about Ethan's.

This wasn't the Ethan THEY knew!

The goofy and annoyingly gullible, ego-driven gym bro who was the first to help out anyone in need and cheer up your day? Sure he would, if unknowingly, be a bit of jerk and was sorta self-centered but still, he meant well.

What happened to him?

First, he had closed himself off to everything and everyone around him, only going outside when pressured or bribed, not once ever escaping the lousily and grim apartment on his own. He had lost all interest in his favorite hobbies such as going to the gym, drawing, and even play videogames. He stopped taking care of himself and started to live day after day in a paranoid and crazed state, frequently checking over his shoulder and he began to contain himself in a dazed world to espace whatever trouble he was dealing with.

And now, here he was screaming, kicking, and even biting his own friends as if they were strangers who had invade his home! Obstacles, even!

He couldn't care less if they got hurt as long as none of them figured out the truth, he could stay contained in his own little bubble forever!

Just him and his love lost in his imagination about what he could've done differently that day! After all, love conquers all right? Right?

Then why? Why couldn't he save-!

"Ethan, stop!"

And just like that...it was over...

Ethan stopped.

Resting his head on the bathroom, Ethan fell into an semi-unconscious, harmless state and let out a small, soft groan. Once his body had rested, Rolando and Estevan finally released him from their grasp.

Getting up, Rolando dusted himself off and looked down at his boyfriend, who stared worried at the other man laying down in front of him.

"Estevan..." Rolando paused before Estevan scooped Ethan up and held him close to his chest. Clutching his soft, ebony hair in his hand while rocking him back and forth. Clearly this was completely out of the ordinary for Estevan to do! He didn't really tolerated Ethan so why was he comforting him?

"Are you okay, babe?"

With misery in his eyes, Estevan nodded, "Yeah, I'm okay."

Yet he fumbled and quivered on his words. Rolando could see the tears coming from a mile away yet Estevan simply ignored them.

"But this isn't about me right now! Something happened here! Forget the movie, forget the sleepover!"

Estevan pulled the other man closer to his chest yet it seemed Ethan didn't even notice on bit, he was falling in and out of a dazed and confused consciousness trying his best to hold onto his sanity as his eyes started to become cloudy and flash a quick pink before turing back to brown over and over yet none of them seemed to notice.

"We need to help Ethan! And we need to find Milo."

Rolando gulped and shifted his eyes over to Ash abd Russell, "No matter how long it takes?"

Whenever Estevan needed or even wanted to solve a case you knew you were in for a wild ride. He was calculated and quick and he always strived to complete even the most gruesome of cases in the name of justice.

"No matter how long it takes."

Silence...

Ash raised his hand to speak up and questioned this little mission Estevan had planned. He just didn't really understand it and found a flaw.

"So we're going to help Ethan? But how? We don't even know what's wrong with him! I mean he looks a bit dehydrated and very very frail but that's it! How are we suppose to help him?"

Rolando cleared his throat before folding his arms as he early began to list off the strange and abnormal hings Ethan had done.

"And the fact he banged his head on the mirror until it shattered, bit Russell, screamed so loud I think his vocal cords might've shattered, oh and the time blood started to pour out of his mouth and-"

"Okay! I get it!"

Ash hissed before shifting to the side and putting his knee close to his chest and head in his lap, letting out a muffled, "Ethan's sick."

Russell adjusted his shirt and let out a cough. He wiped his tears away and looked up with teary jaded-eyes.

"Don't forget the fact we found him semi-drowning."

He then paused and fiddled his red hair, "On top of that, Ash does make a great point! We don't know what's wrong with Ethan. But we also don't know where Milo is, so how are we suppose to find him?"

Rolando bit his lip, "Well, we can always ask-"

"You know we can't ask Ethan!"

Estevan snapped, seeing where this conversation was heading. Everyone in that room knew Ethan was too sick to begin with, so a bombard of questions regarding Milo was pointless, even though they were all worried about him.

The answers Ethan had given them already didn't make any sense! Milo was like a roach, out of sight until he found him sitting in a corner by himself but once you've turned your back, he'd disappear again.

Rolando put his back again the bathroom wall and rolled his eyes, "So, you're suggestion we wait?"

Estevan nodded, "Until Ethan get's better."

Russell shifted his eyes, shook his head and finally got up, fist clenched.

"Not to accuse Ethan of lying, but I've been wanting to say this for some time now and I truly believe that," He paused and glanced over at Ethan, resting in Estevan's arms, "He's been hiding something from us. I don't know what but remember that smell from earlier? It was definitely a corpse!"

Ash let out a nervous chuckle and got up to confront his love.

A bit concerned, he raised an eyebrow" "Are you saying that Ethan murdered Milo? D-don't be ridiculous, my Russell! Ethan, well, he wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"No! Of course not! It's just that-that-!"

Trying to find the right words to string together, Russell hesitated as he watched Estevan get up with Ethan in his arms and shake his head.

"Alright, this conversation is going nowhere. Let's get little bro-bro all bandaged up and into some clothes and head out of this crime scene of a house!"

Rolando snickered, "Little bro-bro? Since when were you two brothers?"

"Erm, just now! What? You guys think I wouldn't make an awesome big brother?"

Estevan chuckled as Rolando rolled his eyes and headed out of the bathroom with Ash and Russell following right behind him.

And as Estevan stepped out with Ethan tucked his arms, he looked down at him and gave him a smile which slowly disappeared, once Ethan spoke up, his voice was extremely raspy and dry.

"You'd make an awful big brother, Evey..."

Estevan raised an eyebrow and let out a confused snicker, "Awful?"

To which Ethan replied with soft tears in his eyes, lips quivering as he spoke up in a now somber voice, "I'm sorry."

Silence...

Estevan was puzzled as Ethan clinged onto his shirt, crying even harder now.

"Huh, Ethan what are you talking about? You didn't do anything wrong? Well, expect for when you bite Russell, but that's about it!"

"Yes, I did! I did do something wrong but I CAN'T tell you!"

Estevan sighed and lifted Ethan closer to him. He knew Ethan was sick. Physically, he had this huge cut in his chest, a gash on his head and looked like a totally mess and mentally, he was broken. Whatever had happened, it had sacred him.

"Oh, Ethan." Estevan ruffled Ethan's hair and followed it up with a smile, "Everything's going to be okay! I'm promise!"

Ethan sniffed and huffed softly while he trembled in Estevan's arms. He knew that was lie! Everything wasn't going to be okay it was just going to get worse and worse for him!

The last thing he said to the other man before falling back into a mute state sent chills down Estevan's spin.

"I'm scared..."

~~~

Woo-hoo! It is finally finished!! I didn't forgot about my au, I've just been dealing with a lot of writer's block lately...

Also sorry to @jafanadis is Ash and Russell are written out of character and sorry to @mrboogerlip is Rolando and Estevan are written out of character...again I try my hardest to stay in character but then my interpretations just takes over...

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- Accused

Time for more Valicer In The Dark, with my current favorite of the snippets I have written so far. :D This entry takes place a little while after "Discoveries" -- after getting a gondola to Brightstone and the Everglot Manor, the trio and Emily invaded the Barkis/Everglot wedding reception, causing chaos and causing the guests to scatter. Barkis himself fled into the streets with Victoria, but Victor, Alice, and Smiler were able to get her away from him (with Victor encouraging her to run for help, which she did), and Emily ended up possessing Barkis to stop him trying to kill Victor. Which led to her finding a couple of electroplasm bombs on his person, tossing one to Alice ("in case you need it to solve your problem"), and using the other to blow both herself and Barkis up. Of course, the local Bluecoat squad (run by Sargent Tannen) showed up only AFTER this had all happened...and while the trio were doing their best to explain the whole mess, one of Tannen's men just made a very unfortunately discovery on Barkis's corpse...

---

“Ah – Sargent Tannen?”

Everyone turned toward the Bluecoat – Alice was reasonably certain he was named Thomas – examining Barkis’s fried corpse. “We – we have a bit of a problem,” Thomas continued, holding up a partially-melted mask.

A partially-melted bronze mask.

Alice’s jaw damn near hit the cobbles. “What – how – he – he couldn’t have been,” she said, shaking her head against the damning evidence before her. “Not a chance!”

“To be fair, all of them are completely anonymous,” Smiler pointed out, looking as stunned as she felt. Beside them, Victor gaped, equally as shocked by the implications. “And it would explain why he had electroplasm bombs on him.”

“I refuse to believe it!” Alice insisted. “That asshole, a Spirit Warden? It boggles the bloody mind!”

“Purrhaps, but no one said you had to be good to be a Warden,” Cheshire told her, though even his smile looked a little fainter in the light of this news.

“And Bumby’s convinced everyone that he’s the heart and soul of charity,” the Queen of Hearts reminded her, rolling her eyes. “Why should this Barkis be any different? He fooled at least one woman to her death, after all.”

Tannen stared at the mask for a very long moment. Then a cold smile spread over his face. “Well well well,” he said, turning back to the three. “Seems like your little story just doesn’t hold up.”

“What? Sir, with all due respect, nothing about our story changes just because he happened to be a Spirit Warden,” Smiler said, putting on an increasingly-nervous smile of their own.

“Really? You want me to believe a Spirit Warden got killed by a ghost? One that you lot claim he himself murdered?” Tannen tched a few times. “I don’t think that’s very likely, do you?”

“Well, no, but it can’t be impossible,” Smiler argued. “There’s all sorts of scary spirits out there.”

“And these folks are the best of the best when it comes to dealing with them.” Tannen paced back and forth in front of them, hands held behind his back. “No, I think I know exactly what happened. I think this little slip of a dogsbody girl, the one who everyone knows ain’t right in the head, the one that poor Dr. Bumby took in out of the goodness of his heart, found herself an Advocate willing to listen and talked ‘em around into helping her kidnap the son of one of the richest families in the city to see what they could get for a ransom, striking the day before his wedding to make sure he would be missed. And when his family didn’t pay up, and his bride just married someone else...” He went over and nudged Barkis’s corpse with his toe. “Well. Somebody got a little mad and murdered that new husband in a fit of rage.”

“What?!” Alice stepped forward, balling her fists. The other Bluecoats immediately closed in tighter around them, raising their batons. “That – that isn’t what happened and you know it!”

“You – cannot possibly – have you met any other Advocates?” Smiler demanded, waving a hand in the air. “We believe in happiness! How am I going to foster that by kidnapping someone?!”

“Wouldn’t it make you happy to get a nice fat payday?” Tannen chuckled. “I don’t blame you for trying, mind. Just a shame that the fellow you ended up offin’ was a Spirit Warden. If you’re lucky, you might just end up with life down in Ironhook. If not...” His grin got wider and meaner. “They always need new souls to power the Hulls they got makin’ the hunter boats.” He casually flicked his hand. “Boys, if you could cuff Miss Liddell and–”

“No!”

Victor stepped forward, eyes narrowed in righteous fury. “You’ve got this completely wrong!” he continued, hands held tight at his sides. Around him, the Bluecoats glanced at each other, wondering if they dared do anything to someone known to be rich. “I was taken away into the ghost field while practicing my vows after the rehearsal by a ghost who thought I’d agreed to marry her! Alice and Smiler were the closest people around when I finally found my way back into the real world, and they helped me! Took me somewhere warm and made sure I got a good meal in me! And they didn’t hesitate an instant to come with me and Emily when we learned that Victoria’s husband was likely the man who’d murdered her! They were just trying to make sure that – that b-bastard down there didn’t kill anyone else! I don’t care if he was a – a Spirit Warden! That doesn’t automatically mean he was a good person!” He pointed a finger at Tannen’s chest. “And it doesn’t mean you can j-just make up a story to throw two undeserving people in jail!”

Tannen looked at the finger, then back up at Victor. He chewed his lip, then leaned in conspiratorially. “Well – I may be willing to admit I’ve made a mistake,” he said softly, holding out a hand. “You know. If you can back that story up.”

Victor sighed heavily, then plunged a hand into his pocket. “Yes, of course, I – I...”

He paused. He felt around for a moment. Then the anger drained from his face as a briefly-forgotten fact suddenly came back to him. “Oh...I – I don’t have my wallet,” he breathed, glancing back at Smiler and Alice.

Tannen raised an eyebrow. “No? Nothing? Huh.” He smirked and stepped back, raising his voice again. “Oh dear me – it looks like Master Van Dort was in on this ‘kidnapping,’ lads! Conspiracy to defraud his own loving parents! We’re gonna have to haul him in too!”

Alice’s head snapped left and right as the Bluecoats began to move in, unhooking manacles from their belts with a fiendish glee. Fuck – and there’s no point in telling this lot about Bumby, they’ll never believe me...or even if they do, they’ll never do anything about it. It’s just so much easier to take the lot of us to jail for a murder we didn’t commit, and – and Victor’s parents will almost certainly bail him out, and Smiler’s fellow Advocates rescue them from the cells, but me – I’m going straight back to Rutledge, and since I’m old enough this time they’re just going to Hollow me out and that’ll be the end of me and Bumby will continue ruining all those children’s lives forever –

“Unless you stop waiting for help and get moving!” Cheshire said, appearing by her side with claws outstretched and tail lashing the air.

“A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step!” Caterpillar added, flitting about her head. “Or, perhaps in this case, a single stab.”

“That idiot Carpenter had the right of it before – are you a pawn, or a Queen?” the Queen of Hearts snarled, tentacles slithering like snakes through the cobbles around her. “Do something, or we are all lost! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”

A furious heat surged through Alice’s veins, almost akin to the spray of a Ragebox or the explosion of Hysteria. “You miserable, self-important, misbegotten toadies!” she yelled, tearing her knife from her apron strings. “I’ll show you I’m not to be trifled with!”

The Bluecoat behind her snorted and raised his baton – Alice spun on the spot and jabbed her blade between his ribs, causing him to stumble back screaming. Alice tore the Vorpal Blade from his flesh and whipped around, parrying the next blow from his companion before kicking him in the knee. A third came in, truncheon swinging – Alice ducked under it and stabbed him in the groin, getting a pained sympathetic hiss from all the menfolk (and one nonbinary person with the right equipment) in the area. The fourth, Thomas, straight-up dove for her like she was a runaway dog – she flung herself out of the way, and he cracked his chin on the cobbles. The fifth attempted to pull his gun, but he hadn’t even gotten it halfway up when her knife went through his wrist, making him shriek and drop it. Alice kicked it away, then – spotting a shadow coming up on her fast – whirled again and put the Blade straight through eye of the unlucky sixth member of Tannen’s squad. He roared in agony and fell to his knees, scrabbling at the weapon – Alice did him the favor of pulling it out, then looked up. Tannen, Victor, and Smiler all stood there, eyes wide and mouths agape, as if they could see her at her Wonderland best. Which was admittedly quite gratifying, but... “Run?” she suggested to her new friends.

Fortunately, that was all it took for Victor and Smiler to get moving, darting down a side alley. Alice was straight on their heels, managing to weave around Tannen as he broke from his trance to try and grab her. “Get up! Get up!” she heard him scream at his injured squad as they booked it. “They’re getting away!”

“Damn straight we are – that was brilliant!” Smiler added, shooting Alice an impressed grin as she caught up. “I didn’t know you could do that!”

“To be fair, I didn’t either!” Alice replied, unable to help a laugh of mingled shock and relief. “Not outside my head, at any rate!”

“Best time to learn!” Victor called from his position at the head of the pack. He skidded to a brief stop as they reached the mouth of the alley, then hooked a left. “Come on, this way!”

“Right behind you!” Smiler said, swinging left after him.

“And they are right behind you, so keep a move on!” Rabbit warned Alice, darting past her as the sound of booted footsteps started closing in on her.

“Wasn’t planning on stopping!” Alice shouted back, skidding left as she left the alley. She booked it down the street (this one full of shops and restaurants) after Victor and Smiler, past some startled ladies out for their evening constitutional. “Ugh, if only I could pull off that damn butterfly dodge here...”

“You may want to try anyway – incoming!” Hatter yelled, leaping past her.

Alice immediately looked behind her – just in time to see Thomas, now bleeding from the chin and with a look that could melt iron – lunging for her, arms spread wide to envelop her in the world’s worst embrace. She let out a rather undignified shriek and whipped sideways in an attempt to escape –

Only to find a fancy carriage pulling up beside her like a rolling roadblock. Without even thinking, she jumped like she might in Wonderland, hoping somehow to get enough height to clear it – her foot hit something hard – the door handle? The little window sill? – and she leapt again –

And found herself indeed atop the carriage, swaying but upright. Thomas gaped up at her, as did the startled carriage driver – Alice couldn’t blame them, as she was pretty shocked herself. “How in the Emperor’s name–”

“Running now, questioning later!” Rabbit cried, leaping off the other side of the carriage and sprinting toward Victor and Smiler, who’d apparently had the same thought she’d had about crossing the street to get away from their pursuers and a bit more luck in doing so. “Come on, come on!”

“Right!” Alice hastily clambered off the carriage, ignoring the baffled shouts of those within, and ran to meet Victor and Smiler as they doubled back toward her “No, no, it’s okay, I’m fine!” she assured them, waving a hand. “Keep moving!”

“How did you do that?” Victor demanded, slowing deliberately as he and Smiler turned back around so she could keep up. “I swear, when I turned around and saw you jumping like that, it looked for a moment like you’d learned how to levitate!”

“Sheer luck, I think – and an active imagination,” Alice added, glancing down and seeing blue overtaking the black in her skirt. Not the best time, brain, but if you keep it to that, I’ll allow it. “We can figure out how I learned to fly when we’re free of this lot!”

“Keep going!” Tannen’s voice roared behind them, reminding them of the danger. “Thomas, you idiot, Donovan’s already gone on ahead! How have you not gotten a hand on them yet?!”

“Not my fault, sir!” Thomas replied furiously. “That bitch has the devil’s footsteps!”

“And doesn’t she count herself lucky to have them,” Alice muttered as they pounded on, down another alley beside some sort of jewelry store. “Desperation breeds all sorts of talents, I suppose...”

“That I can believe – I’m really good at climbing things thanks to having to escape bullies in Nightmarket when I was small,” Victor admitted, pushing his hair back from his face. “Still, that was incredible.”

“Yeah, you’ll have to teach us how to do it!” Smiler said, shooting her a smile.

“I don’t know if it can be taught,” Alice said, swiping a hand across her eyes to knock the sweat out of them. “It really was just luck. I doubt I’ll be able to do it again.”

“Well, hey, if you do pull it off again, let us know and we’ll – whoa!”

A Bluecoat with a bleeding wrist – almost certainly the “Donovan” Tannen had just mentioned – burst out of a side door in the jewelry store, slamming into Smiler and knocking them into the nearby wall. “Got you now!” he declared, digging his fingers into Smiler’s collar despite his injury. “Like to see you smile your way out of this one!”

“Leave them alone!” Victor yelled, grabbing the offending arm and trying to drag it off. Alice yanked her knife out again, ready to assist as violently as the situation called for.

“No, no, it’s fine, you two – I know just how to deal with people like him,” Smiler assured them, waving a hand as the other one disappeared into their pocket. “They just need a little more joy in their lives!”

“Oh yeah?” Donovan snarled, jerking his arm to free it from Victor’s grip. “And you’re the one to give it to me?”

Smiler grinned and winked. “Well – I am a bit of an alchemist.”

And with that, they yanked their out their fist and jabbed Donovan in the neck with what Alice recognized as a Joy Serum syringe. Donovan yelped and stumbled back, clawing the emptied needle out of his neck. “There we go – have fun!” Smiler said with a cheery wave, before gently giving Victor a shove. “I always keep a spare on me, just in case – he won’t be a problem now, but how about we keep moving anyway?”

“Sure...that’s, uh, safe?” Victor asked as Donovan wobbled in place, a rather dazed-looking smile starting to spread across his face as he giggled vaguely.

“Oh perfectly, he’ll be fine! You know, so long as someone sees to the blood loss from that wrist,” Smiler qualified with a quick look back at the puddle spreading across the cobbles.

“I don’t particularly care if anyone ever tends to that or not,” Alice admitted, pushing them both along. “Rabbit’s going to have our heads if we don’t keep on, so...”

“Right, right...” Victor took point again – not that he had much choice, given he had the longest legs of the three of them – and paused briefly at the junction ahead. “Okay, so...I think the Sanctorium is that way, so...the other direction should be Shimmer Canal. . .right, come on, this way – NOT THIS WAY, NOT THIS WAY!!”

Victor did an about-face out of the alley he’d chosen so fast, Alice was half-certain he’d just flipped around without actually going through any of the intervening bits. He shoved Alice and Smiler backward, down a gap between two stores, eyes wide with sudden horror. “What? What is it?” Alice demanded, trying to peer around him to see what had frightened him so.

“Ambush?” Smiler asked, doing the same.

“No, no,” Victor squeaked, rapidly shaking his head. “It’s–”

“Really, Master Van Dort?”

The trio all froze, then skittered deeper into their hiding spot, Victor holding himself protectively in front of them. “‘Not this way’ shouted at the top of your lungs?” Tannen’s voice continued, as his booted footsteps drew closer and closer to the junction. “That is the most amateur bit of work I’ve seen since I started on the force!”

A moment later, Tannen himself emerged into the T, accompanied by Thomas (apparently the only Bluecoat of his squad still both able and willing to walk). “These rich snobs don’t know the first thing about properly escaping pursuit,” Tannen groused, getting a nod from Thomas. “No, it’s all just throwing money at the problem – which, don’t get me wrong, I’m quite happy with, but still. Like that sort of thing would fool anyone.” He turned down the alley Victor had originally picked, not even bothering to turn his head, Thomas right behind. “I’ve got you now, you little–”

“ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!”

The most spectacular electroplasmic display Alice had ever seen erupted out of the alley – glowing, sparking goop splattering across the walls and cobbles while great arcs of current shot through the air, making her hair stand on end. A horrible gray something that Alice thought might have once been a woman streaked forward after it, seizing Tannen in its grip before he could even have a chance to scream. It howled with the mad rage that only a feral specter could properly express and raked ghostly claws across his chest – claws that still, somehow, managed to cut, tearing deep gouges into his flesh that crackled as they burned with a distressing pale light. Thomas shrieked and tore back the way they had come – Good thinking, Alice decided, and grabbed Victor and Smiler by the hand and towed them away down the gap, leaving the screams of the feasting specter and the deeply unlucky Tannen behind.

They ran for a little bit in silence, across a couple more toff-filled streets, concerned only with putting as much distance between themselves and the specter as possible. Finally, though, they paused in yet another alley behind a dress shop, Alice releasing her compatriots’ hands so she could press hers to her breast. “...well,” she said as she caught her breath. “That was – horrifying.”

“Yup,” Smiler said simply, taking off their cap and running their fingers through their hair.

“I know,” Victor agreed, wiping off his face. “Oh, that...that is going to...haunt my nightmares...”

“Mine too...but...how did you know she was there?” Alice asked, turning to him as she leaned against the wall. “Ghosts like that usually don’t make themselves known until they pounce on their prey.”

“I – I ju-just saw her,” Victor stammered, waving a hand around. “The m-moment I stepped into the alley. I could s-see her plain as day, and I could f-f-feel how powerful she was. I – I just count myself lucky she didn’t see us.”

“Me too,” Smiler said, shaking themselves like a dog spraying water. They shot Victor a grateful smile. “You probably just saved our lives there.”

“I c-couldn’t just let you walk into that! Even if I’m not...I’m not...I...what’s happened to me?!” Victor demanded of the world generally, flailing his arms. “How could I see her before – she’s a ghost! You don’t see ghosts! Not unless they let you! I’d never seen a ghost at all before until Emily came along! And now they’re just – everywhere?”

“Everywhere?” Alice repeated, abruptly keenly aware of just how haunted the city was supposed to be even with the help of the Spirit Wardens (and if they let people like Barkis into their little club, suddenly she understood why).

“Yes! I – that street we just ran across – there’s three ghosts on it!” Victor declared, pointing behind them. “N-not dangerous ones, not like her, but – I saw them, going t-through the motions of their lives! And I don’t know why!”

“You did just spend about an entire day in the ghost field,” Smiler pointed out, expression thoughtful. “Maybe you’ve developed a sort of – ‘ghost mind’ as a result? An extra sensitivity to the supernatural?”

“Seems logical to me,” Alice nodded.

Victor stared at them a moment. “So I’m – I’m just stuck seeing ghosts now?”

“Maybe? I mean, we’d have to keep an eye on you for the next few days, see if the effect wanes any,” Smiler said, smiling brightly now that the immediate danger was over and the fun of scientific exploration was before them. “Oh, and see if you can consistently tell the difference between echoes, specters, horrors, reconciled...”

“Easy there, Advocate,” Alice said, pulling on Smiler’s sleeve gently as Victor began tugging anxiously on this tie. “Let’s get out of Brightstone first – then we can start worrying about Victor possibly being a little bit ghosty.”

[oersteds]

I heard the Middle Ages trio's deal is what if the Cecil/Rose/Kain situation in FF4 was switched around, and that made results. Shizuma Hodoshima voices both Cecil Harvey and Streibough for the complete irony, when Cecil is even the victor of the love triangle. While Kain is filled with envy, that it made him vulnerable to possession by dark forces.

ngl i think both oersted and straybow deserved better than princess bitchtits. i don't count her as a part of the oersted/straybow duo, but rather... a minister/king/alicia trio. the royal trio, if you will

the lal cast is so deprived of women, and they had to settle for alicia. sheesh... nobody deserves to get saddled with her, let alone fight over her.

+ oersted wasn't possessed, he chose violence. he was pushed to his limit, sure. i can see why he saw no other options. doesn't mean he was possessed by a demon.

and the shilling some of these fuckers do in universe. there's this one npc that goes "alicia is our guiding light!!" brother, if she's your brightest star, you are living in a grimdark fantasy

more alicia hot takes under the cut. it gets lengthy

i. i really hate alicia on every level, huh. i try to find something, anything that i like about her, and i just keep finding more to hate about her. "but oersted still loved her!!! his last words in the neutral ending were her name!!!" yea what if he was cursing it. kinda hard to tell by tone, even with context. for example, the "saint alicia" move could be many different things, such as:

oersted/odio trying to remember alicia, and only remembering the anguish she's caused him (emotional damage for both him and the targets) (my personal hc)

alicia's soul, somehow being repeatedly used as an attack (this doesn't make much sense to me, how could oersted/odio restore the soul from that)

something something "he still (somehow) loves her and sees her as the only "saint" in this evil world" (makes even less sense when you realize it's an attack that does A LOT OF DAMAGE to the targets, topped off with a myriad of detrimental status effects)

oersted/odio is a dnd bard and saint alicia is his personal version of vicious mockery (funny, but neither oersted/odio are bards)

also consider: my theory that the battlefield you fight odio on could very well be an illusion... hence the track name for the first phase being illusion. Mount Corpse Pile coulda been odio throwing off the protags.

finally... oersted's last words in the neutral ending are the only time he's talking directly about alicia in the final chapter. if you don't kill oersted after the pure odio fight, alicia is never mentioned by name again, and not thought or spoken of at all unless pogo is your finale protagonist. and even then, it's just "love," which can mean many things.

this is why i feel alicia is meant to be at best a throwaway character for breaking oersted's spirit, and at worst a character that we're supposed to hate, or (possibly) even a statement about how some people don't deserve your forgiveness. though that's pretty unlikely given the message of the game. that being said...

the fandom may forgive alicia, but i sure as hell won't

[deusexlachina]

Antisocial DAO Part 7 (Denerim 1): Corner the elfroot market and become powerful enough to have a gay awakening

In which I corner the elfroot market, solve a mystery that I didn't know was a mystery by ignoring social cues, lose at cards and form a relationship with my coworker because I am the only other queer woman around.

It's time to move onto other quests, but, while I'm among my own people, I should spend my hard-earned gold. The Brecilian Forest is a great quest to do first, because it's relatively easy and gives a ton of treasure to help with the remaining quests. You can spend it on all kinds of things: Perhaps some better equipment. Or maybe a training manual to refine your skills. Or SEVEN THOUSAND ELFROOT.

Once you recruit each army, you can give them corresponding supplies to make them stronger in the final battle. For a more immediate reward, you also get experience. Most of these supplies are relatively scarce: runes, gems, or - with a fairly poor rate of return, gold. The elves want elfroot. They also SELL elfroot. And their stock is infinite. I am, in effect, buying seven thousand elfroot from the Dalish and giving it back to them for free. I buy elfroot until my inventory is full. Then I sell or gift most of my worldly possessions to make room for more elfroot. I dump a lot of gifts on Leliana, who doesn't have very high approval because I am openly against the Chantry.

Since elfroots are a medicinal ingredient, I like to think of this as an abstraction of me single-handedly bankrolling and supplying the elves' healthcare for post-werewolf complications, because that is substantially less stupid.

Even though going between my camp and the Dalish camp doesn't involve world map travel, I decide I'm only allowed to make one trip, or else I'm taking too much time away from the Blight. Honestly, I could have easily gotten away with making numerous trips and putting my elfroot economy into the five-digits. But I've spent long enough looking at this particular screen:

Next up is the mages, but the road to Lake Calenhad comes from Denerim, and I have business there. I need to visit Brother Genitivi to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes so I can heal Arl Eamon so he can supply me with an army. I find his apprentice, Weylon.

It's actually an imposter trying to cover up Genitivi's disappearance, but I can't tell because I Am Socially Inept - the amount of Cunning needed to figure this out would let me pass at least some checks, and we can't have that.

This is horrible because the imposter wants to take me on a wild goose chase to Lake Calenhad, which wouldn't be a problem because I'm going there anyway, except then I'd have to go all the way back to Denerim to confront the imposter and learn where Genitivi really went. I Am A Grey Warden, and I have no time for such a detour.

Being reluctant to go searching for Genitivi without more leads, I tell the Real Legitimate Weylon I'm just gonna poke around his house for clues. He tells me it's rude to poke around stranger's houses, but what do I know of social niceties?

I insist and I get into a fight with him and kill him, then discover the real Weylon's corpse along with Genitivi's notes pointing to a place called Haven. I have solved this mystery completely by accident. For all I knew, I just killed the real Weylon over an argument because he wouldn't let me into a room.

Being suddenly level 17, I can pick another subclass. But the only one I can get is Shapechanger, which is terrible. Blood Mage is excellent, but can only be unlocked by making a deal with a demon. You can make it a very one-sided deal with a very difficult Intimidate check, but I Am Socially Inept, so the only way to be a Blood Mage is to sell a little boy's soul. Gross. I decide to dedicate myself to the lofty path of a healer, since there is literally nothing better for me to do.

I spend nearly all funds that were not invested in elfroot to buy a Tome of the Spirit Healer. You'd think I could learn how to be a Spirit Healer from Wynne the Spirit Healer I'm going to visit. Unfortunately, Wynne is such a bad teacher that her one pupil ran into the forest. This Tome is the only way to be a Spirit Healer yourself.

Leliana also needs another specialization, but I'm cleaned out. I'll need to get one for free. I can get one at the Pearl. Is that allowed, with my rule against World Map detours? I decide I can, since the Denerim map is separate from the World Map, and on that map it's clearly like a block away from the entrance. The biggest city in Ferelden is tiny!

I head off to the Pearl, but am accosted by a Loghain Loyalist, who accuses the Grey Wardens of intentionally killing the King. This tense situation can be immediately and smoothly resolved with your choice of social check.

So, of course, there is no choice but to kill this man.

Even if you refuse to kill him, if you can't back it up with a social check he just sneaks up on you later. I ask to do it in single combat to spare his men. Thankfully, that doesn't take another social check. This is the first victim of my lack of social skills (Danyla not counting because she dies no matter what). His men take their friend's death surprisingly well, saying that he couldn't have had a more honourable death rather than "Oh Maker! Oh fuck! My friend just got his head smashed in by a rancid elf with a huge hammer!"

At the Pearl, there are some mercenaries being gross to the sex workers. I use my social skills to defuse the situation, a phrase which here means pissing them off so much that they forget about bullying people and just try to kill me.

I focus fire their leader, so he quickly surrenders. I make him leave and give me all their ill-gotten gains. Or maybe it was their paycheck. If so, they don't deserve it. Bloody cops.

With them out of the way, I speak to Isabela, the most beautiful woman in the world. Well. She is a few years later. Take it from me, a few years can do a lot for a girl's appearance. Pre-everything Isabella is impressed to see another trans woman who answers to no one, a comment I can only assume alludes to my sui generis hairstyle, lack of decorum and weapons-grade Miasma (the second-worst smell in this Sexytime House). I am glad she approves.

I saw her single-handedly defeat several men, so she will make a great teacher for Leliana. She will teach Leliana, but she wants something in return. I offer her my beautiful filthy body. This does not work because I Am Socially Inept.

Thus, I have to beat her in a card game. For a refresher, I am doing this to maximize Leliana's combat potential to stop the Blight, which threatens to destroy this city, along with the entire region. And I have to play a fucking card game. This is quite possibly the worst indignity in my entire career as a Grey Warden...

...not least because I lack any skill that could possibly help me play cards. I don't have Dexterity because I don't need it, I don't have Stealing because that's for Leliana, I don't have Stealth because I'm not a rogue, and I don't have Cunning because it would make me socially adept [bad]. I lose round after round. Eventually, Leliana takes pity on me, interrupts my card game, and takes me aside to explain that, sometimes, people cheat at cards.

With Leliana's help, I am able to beat Isabela at her own game (Wicked Grace/cheating) and she agrees to teach Leliana how to duel.

After seeing me attempt to seduce Isabela, Leliana sees a fellow queer. She knows she has to make the first move, because I Am Socially Inept. So she compliments my hair, since I clearly seem to be quite proud of it. She calls my enormous twintails a "simple" style, which says a lot about Orlesian hair fashion.

I press her on this bizarre claim, and she insists that my hair is simpler and nicer than hair with live, shitting birds in it.

This makes sense, but now I'm distracted, wondering why someone would put birds in their hair. Is this a human thing? Seeing as I seem to be hung up on the hair issue and not really getting it, she lays out all her cards, just like she laid out Isabela's cards earlier today. She hasn't felt this close to anyone in a long time, perhaps because my Miasma makes everyone hyperaware of my presence whether they want to be or not.

I respond well to this flirting, and we hit it off, because being in a relationship with Leliana doesn't require a social check - she knows what to expect from me at this point.

A wonderful woman has taken a chance on me! Keeper Marethari would be proud. I sure hope this relationship goes better than my other social interactions!

[astaroth1357]

More undateables with a demigod hades mc???

By request, have yourself a part two!! 

Demigod MC Series: Hades Pt. 2 (Un)Dateables Edition!

I will ask that y’all please don't ask for continuations of other gods unless I say it’s okay to do again. This series already fills my inbox something fierce and this is a one-off that I allowed for during the request window.  If I have to make ideas for new gods while continuing a bunch of old MCs, it'll burn me out fast...

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2

Diavolo

Oh, he has no problem at all hosting a child of the Underworld, hell he even throws them a welcome banquet when he finds out! Hades is a dear friend - and practically a parental figure to him growing up - so he's more than happy to take in one of his children for a year.

Diavolo is actually one of the few people that the MC can talk to about their home with any kind of fondness. Usually when they bring up things like the comforting wailing of the River Coctyus, the brothers will give them weird looks... but Diavolo knows where they're coming from!

He spent numerous summers in the Underworld growing up doing things like pestering Charon on the River Styx or playing games with Cerberus (the other one) in the Asphodel Meadows... His beach house is actually modeled after his childhood summer home in the Isles of Paradise! Really, it can be a lovely place if the gloom doesn't bother you!

So in the spirit of his fond memories, Diavolo really tried to make their time in the Devildom a fun one!... in his maybe trying a little too hard way…  

Poor MC found themselves offered pretty much everything under the moon… Tickets or exclusive passes to different cultural events/festivals, invitations to gala events, and tours of nearly every inch of Hell by the Prince himself - it was… it was a lot for the poor introverted thing…

It didn’t help that Diavolo would have a hard time gauging if they were having any fun due to their naturally melancholic nature, which only pushed him to try harder… He means well, he does. He’s just not the most in touch with what would make an anti-social doom child happy...

It took Barbatos and Lucifer stepping in for the mortal to actually start getting some much needed space and that improved their experience significantly. Sometimes less is more, Dia… Less is more. But they appreciate his efforts anyway.

Barbatos 

Also has a pretty amicable relationship with the Ruler of the Underworld, though his is much more professional compared to Diavolo’s. He actually has a good deal of appreciation for the man for taking good care of the Prince during his visits, so he sees this as an opportunity to return the favor.

Like Diavolo, he’s rather focused on making sure the MC is having a good stay in the Devildom, but he’s much more subtle about it. He’ll come by the House often to check up on them and make sure everything is to their liking... 

Even the brothers notice that he treats them like anothering visiting Lord/Lady in that way, which he would argue they very much are and should be respected as one. It’s the least the Devildom can offer their father at this point.

His visits may also be an excuse for keeping an eye on the brothers to make sure they don’t do anything to inconvenience their “young guest…” To be honest, the entire House is a little paranoid about that… Nobody wants to know the punishment for hurting MC if Barbs is the one dishing it out...

Apart from watching out for them, Barbatos tries to encourage the MC to accept the Young Lord’s gifts (while also actively advising Diavolo to go easier on them at the same time). It would be so disheartening to him if his Prince feels like he hasn’t offered them the best experience that he could… He’s sure they understand.

Any time that he invites the MC to tea, they usually end up talking about their father in some way. Barbs knows a surprising amount about the god… He’s been around about as long as Chronos - preceding the birth of Aether and Chaos themselves - so he has some stories to tell.

The MC did once ask him why he doesn’t just run everything if he’s really been around for so long... his answer was: “Kings and their kingdoms will rise and fall… Worlds upon worlds are born, then cease to be. But time is what brings about all changes… So, I think I’m perfectly content with the power I possess. Wouldn’t you be?” 

Annnd they never asked Barbs another question like that again… and people think death is scary… 

Simeon 

He was honestly a little worried for their new companion for quite a while… It’s not like there’s never any sadness in the Celestial Realm or anything, but they seem to have something else entirely…

He’s heard stories about the Underworld. He’s never been himself, that’s usually a job for the Seraphim due to the… dreary nature of the place - but he’s heard it would make the Devildom look downright festive…

If he were being honest, he had half expected the MC to be obsessed with skeletons, ghosts, and other elements of darkness but that wasn’t the case. They certainly knew a lot about those things, but they appeared to have a healthy interest in the afterlife in general, so they asked him a lot of questions about the Celestial Realm, angels, and how the souls of the blessed are treated up there… It was surprising to say the least.

Of course he did the same and, frankly, Simeon found it incredibly wasteful that so many Greek followers find themselves just wasting away in a field of nothing for so long… but that’s neither here nor there.

He was also surprised by how gentle of an influence the MC ended up being on Luke as well. He had always suspected that the little angel just needed a bridge between him and Devildom to start finding appreciation for it, and the MC fit that bill perfectly - nothing he was used to, but still approachable enough to make everything less frightening. He thanks them a great deal for that… but...

It’s just that… Well they’re just so… depressing sometimes…! He doesn’t want to blame them because it hardly seems like their fault! They’re a very kind person, it’s just an atmosphere around them… It brings him to tears if he isn’t careful…

He’s invited the MC to Purgatory Hall on multiple occasions to chat and try to make them smile… When they do, the gloom is dispelled - even just a little - and they’re a truly beautiful creature regardless. It’s just so unfortunate that their life brings so much sadness...

Even so, he actually likes the MC enough to consider basing a character on them if he ever wrote another book. Something about a gloomy but sweet protagonist at home in a world of darkness sounds appealing… doesn’t it?

Luke

He didn’t know how to feel about the MC when they met. At first, he actually thought they were just as unhappy as he was to be there due to how depressed they looked but when they told him that wasn't true, he was really confused...

The Devildom is a dark, brutish, and dangerous place. Why would anyone feel at home down here??

But… well… He would spend time with them at RAD between breaks (partially to help scare off their many, many demonic suitors) and it might be weird to say, but they really made the Devildom look beautiful… literally.

The world just looks better when they’re around! It’s really hard to describe because it’s not something you notice much until they leave, but when the MC is around everything looks more vibrant and inviting! The grass gets greener, flowers grow bigger, and butterflies/birds hover around wherever they are like they have their own gravity - the realm loves them!

It started getting hard for Luke to hang onto his disdain for the place when they made it look so appealing… And then they started talking to him about the Underworld and the creatures they’d befriended there… creatures a lot worse than any demons he’d seen there...

Like. If the MC can be good friends with a bunch of rude walking corpses, then he could probably make friends with a demon right? There’s nice ones… kind of… 

Beel. He can make friends with Beel.

Like Simeon, he does feel bad that they seem so sad all the time… but unlike the older angel, he’s a bit more understanding that this is just how they are and enjoys his time with them regardless. (It helps a lot that just being around this little bean of a boy can lift their spirits anyway).

And you know what’s even better for him? When Lord Diavolo gives the MC tickets to things that they don’t want to go to, sometimes they’ll invite him along or give them to him instead! 

He’s gone to the Devil’s Coast with MC and Simeon sooo many times by now and he loves it!! Maybe the Devildom isn’t so bad after all, I mean, it can be a lot of fun when you go to the right places, anyway.

Solomon

Oh, he finds them both deeply fascinating and utterly terrifying - so just his sort of test sub-er, person!

He kids (somewhat), Solomon isn’t that dumb/lacking in self-preservation instinct. Experimenting on a child of death in a land of the dead (even if it’s not their “home turf”) would be asking for trouble. They’d have more than enough ammunition to fight him off and if their father found out? Immortality wouldn’t even begin to save him...

That being said, questions aren’t necessarily experiments… and oh boy, does he have a lot of them.

If the MC isn’t being pestered by Diavolo or the brothers, then they’re probably having to put up with Solomon nipping at their heels trying to get them to use their powers or answer all sorts of “innocent” scientific questions…

“MC, reanimation of Greek dead requires a blood offering, correct? Do you have to sacrifice animals for that process or do you allow them to feast on your own?”

“MC, when you’re controlling a skeleton do you move the body as a whole or do you have to animate each individual bone due to their lack of ligaments?”

“Think fast!! Oh look, you just caught the skull of my good friend, Richard! Could you bring him back from that, or should I fetch the rest of him?” 🙂

They put up with it because, believe it or not, he’s not nearly the weirdest person they’ve ever met (a lot of crazy people drift in and out of the land of the dead…) and well… they’re a pretty lonely person too so it’s not like they have a lot of standards when it comes to friendships anyway.

But the second they breathe a word of this to Barbs or Diavolo, this boy is on his way to a royal restraining order… Where does he even get those skulls…?

[drtenebres]

who are the most developed/most focused on characters right now??

Thanks for the ask!! It’s hard to say who is the most developed character right now, due to so many brain cells trying to work together, but we’ve all got our own individual ones we’re working on that we feel the strongest about !

@shslstraws :

blah blah blah this is where jude talks about oumota -Snelly (SHAAAAADDUPPPPP -Straws) 

Kaito (My beloved) - A commonfolk who was oblivious by the magic world around him until he inevitably is pushed to it, by living his new life as a Tenebroso werewolf. The cause for how he became a werewolf is unknown, and he tries to keep away from his friends and family to protect them from this “curse”. Kaito gets in a mix of mages and eventually meets with Kokichi, a plague doctor who claims he can cure him. He slowly realizes and comes to face the reality that is Tenebres. 

Kokichi (Most developed??) - A mage who lived in an orphanage until he gets adopted by two mages, Nagito and Hajime. Kokichi dreams of being far powerful than both his dads and going back to recruit the other orphanage kids to his upcoming organization. Until he gets a set back when he takes things too far with the magi academy, he gets demoted to a Plague Doctor; a low status of a mage. It is until he meets Kaito, on one of his duties, and believes if he figures out the mystery behind Tenebrosos, he will earn the right to regain his place back in the academy. 

Shuichi (Most Focused on ATM) - Born from the great Kyoko Kirigiri and Makoto Naegi, there are a lot of expectations put upon Shuichi since he was very young. The expectations were too high and too heavy to carry that Shuichi decided to leave behind that life and the Kirigiri name. He meets up with Rantaro who gives him the ability of a werewolf, and thinks he can finally start anew. Until he faces the same problems with being a werewolf and being part of a pack, Shuichi decides to live amongst the commonfolk with his new friends Kaito, Kaede, and Maki by his side. 

@baylardian-1 :

Kyoko (Most focused on) - A detective who grew up working under a large magefolk entity in the specific branch that deals with magic-based crimes. Kyoko is telepathic with a hindered use of magic due to a strange curse covering both of her hands. Because of her ability to read minds and the overwhelming loudness many voices can create in her head, Kyoko prefers working alone. Eventually she retires from her occupation and becomes a private investigator alongside her husband Makoto.

Hifumi (Most developed) - A hamster familiar most closely resembling a smitten patsy for Celestia Ludenberg. Not having many friends he impulsively chose to follow a pretty girl one day and has never ceased. Initially out of threat, Hifumi would perform healing spells for Celestia after her hunts in addition to take care of her every beck and call. Nowadays their relationship takes on a more unspoken respect and fondness for one another.

Mukuro (My beloved) - A Tenebroso werewolf nearing closer to being 400 years old in age. Born a mage alongside her younger twin sister Junko, many events surrounding their past are shrouded in mystery. As a Tenebroso she has an unnaturally extended life. Mukuro is naturally covered in scars and physically looks to be reaching her mid 50's-early 60's. She is most often however seen to be disguising herself as a young girl.

@snellymain :

Kiyo (Most developed) - A socially reclusive vampire with a guilty conscience and a sworn duty to feed by killing swiftly rather than turning anyone else into a vampire; since he hates his vampirism and his sister that cursed him with it. Has a huge fondness for humans and anthropology after his controlling sister's hatred for them caused him to have extremely limited interactions with them. Ends up committed to a mage named Angie while the unwanted spirit of his sister began haunting him after many years of being dead.

Mahiru (Most focused on) - A standard mage with very little powers and a high respect for her non-mage mother, matching her disdain for her mage father. She got into photography as she had no attachment to her underwhelming magic, until her mother urged her to go to an academy so she wouldn't let her powers go to waste like her father did. After doing so, being out in the world more, she met Hiyoko and Hiro; in which she happily adopted the former and angrily married the latter.

Angie (My beloved) - A healing-based blood mage raised communally on an island, she heals others wounds with their own blood and often secretly takes their blood for her own use while doing so; mostly to feed her partner Kiyo, but she also has a fascination for blood of her own, initially being a result of her village's blood sacrifices and now a result of her blood magic. Generally a loud nuisance, though a medically helpful nuisance, in her academy.

@samsquatchem :

Doodle + blurb done by Snelly ♥

Yasuhiro (Their beloved) - A nomadic powerful mage with a wide variety of powers, mostly focusing on clairvoyance and near-limitless telekinesis; generally wanders around getting money wherever he can but spending it horrendously, ending up in a constant flat circle of time. He’s basically homeless; not out of poverty but what he considers convenience and tax evasion, for the most part and bums around Mahiru’s place. Close friends and a father figure to Hiyoko, (much to Mahiru’s initial dismay) the two bond over their shared tendency to wander and be in a new place every week + magic that neither know how to use properly, she became quickly attached to him due to him being the first person to talk to her after she ran away from home. Hiro is able to see the future but unable to speak it verbatim or else the opposite outcome will come to fruition, he can only nudge clients in the right direction of his visions. Most people think his magic is a scam and he’s the most useless mage ever.

@sutexii :

Chiaki (My Beloved) - A wooden mask enchanted with a human soul, powered by dream juice and magic robotics. Created by Chihiro to live in the dream realm (where u go when u sleep + also where the killing games take place) to gather data on it for Chihiro’s research, and help those in it travel safely. Has a deep fascination with the unpredictable and strange, and enjoys seeking out new knowledge wherever she can. Still likes her games, and while originally given access to some to help entertain those she’s traveling with, she just ends up hoarding them herself.

Tenko (Most Focused On ATM) - Commonfolk w/ a smidge of monster that comes out when her anger peaks. Abandoned due to said anger issues as a child, and taken in by Aoi and Sakura. She had a very Ghibli idyllic childhood, having adventures with friends and delivering donuts for her mom. Learned martial arts from her mom, taking a particular liking to Aikido, and through it learned to control her anger. Follows childhood crush Himiko around to protect her, leading to her entering the less than legal artifact smuggling trade with her later in life.

Aoi (Most Developed) - Water elemental with a love for baking donuts and raising/rehabilitating carp. Married to Sakura, having met when she wandered into the pond in her family’s abandoned dojo and decided to stay to fix it up, motivating Sakura to fix the rest of the place up in turn. Very carefree, friendly, and laid back, loves kids and taking on the “fun auntie” role. Never worked on her humanoid appearance much at all until motherhood, Tenko enters their life and it became hard to hold back a feral monster baby with fins.

@Soupcifer_ :

Nekomaru (Franken-maru) (most developed) - A reanimated corpse who was brought back to life thanks to the help of Kazuichi and Mikan. Unfortunately, he has amnesia and thus no recollection of his past friendships and family. He's a lot more quiet and mellow in comparison to his old self which makes him seem pretty dull, but in actuality he's being rather attentive and simply trying to understand everything that's happening. He does a lot of behind-the-scenes work when no ones looking like cleaning up after Kazuichi and setting reminders for Akane (still a team manager at heart).

Gonta (My beloved) - A vampire raised by werewolves. He only recently came to terms with being a vampire as he lived most of his life assuming the form of a wolf. He has an obsession with bugs, classic literature, and vintage clothing. Gonta likes to follow around a few of his friends, Angie and Korekyio (wink), and be of assistance whenever he can. He unfortunately has trouble dealing with his vampire nature sometimes due to only having lived with werewolves, so he often turns to Korekiyo for help.

Chihiro (most focused on) - An electric elemental! Chihiro is the creator/parent of Chiaki and Monomi. They have a passion for creating things that run on electricity and magic and as a result created their two lovely daughters (that and to investigate the dream realm). Chihiro also has the ability to possess electronics and machinery! Despite being incredibly small, they can emit a surprisingly large amount of energy which makes possessing large or complicated machinery an easy task.

[tibby]

If you have the time can you please please please recap season 4 of riverdale. I was going to binge it on Netflix but things happen and then I saw your post about the graduation episode and HAD to watch that happen and now I’m recommitted to the cause and need to know what happened while I was gone

sure. okay so the season sadly starts with the death of fred andrews in a very sentimental and moving episode that’s kind of seperate from the rest of the show so it’s not really until episode two that things kick off. the riverteens are kind of thriving in a parentless world because milf alice was kidnapped by a cult, dilf hiram and milf hermione are in prison, milf penelope is in hiding after killing a bunch of people, milf mary is kind of just There, milf gladys went back to toledo after her drug empire failed, god knows what milf sierra and gay kevin’s straight former cop dad are off doing, and dilf fp is the sheriff but because it’s fp he’s kind of bad at it. so the riverteens are horrified when their new principal mr honey expects them to be at school on time and disapproves of them throwing school dances because students keep getting murdered at them. cheryl, who an episode prior never wanted anyone in riverdale to celebrate the 4th of july ever again because of her brother’s death, considers this an act of oppression and throws a party at her house. however, as she is keeping her brother’s mummified corpse in the basement, she gets angry when reggie tries to sneak down there. meanwhile gay kevin is trying to make amends with betty for the time he tried to have her lobotomised because of the cult led by chad michael murray. betty uses this to her advantage to find out where the cult is, teaming up with her half brother, charles (not to be confused with chic, who was only PRETENDING to be charles back in season two). archie gets munroe, his prison buddy, to attend riverdale high, and reggie is weirdly jealous about it. archie discovers that this is because reggie is being abused by his father, so they smash in his car and apparently this solves everything. jughead starts attending stonewall prep, where he meets bret weston wallis, donna sweett, joan berkeley, and jonathan. he also reunites with moose, who disappeared in mid s3 after cheryl outed him to the whole school including his homophobic dad, and then his homophobic dad dressed up as the gargoyle to try and stop moose and gay kevin hooking up in the sex bunker they stole from dilton doiley after he killed himself, but it turns out that his homophobic dad was just angry HE never got to fuck gay kevin’s straight cop dad back in the day. it was this whole thing. anyway, moose is like “i’m going by my real name, marmaduke now, so people don’t find out about my dad” but everyone does anyway and so moose mysteriously disappears again. betty finds out where the cult is (after disarming a bomb attached to her sister polly using a bobby pin) and goes to rescue her mother. milf alice reveals that chad michael murray is using the cult money to build a rocket, and his wife/fake daughter evelyn is going to drive a bus full of cultists off a cliff. the day is saved! veronica finds out that her father’s real surname is luna and decides to start going by that as an act of rebellion because he keeps leaving the prison that he owns to fuck with her after she had him arrested. archie decides to turn his gym into a community centre with munroe’s help. cheryl, who, for unknown reasons, obtained custody of polly’s twins, immediately fires the nanny that toni hired because he said there were probably rats in the walls and went into the basement. cheryl goes to make sure that the nanny didn’t interfere with her brother’s mummified corpse, and toni walks in on her stitching him up. videotapes start arriving at the homes of the riverdale residents of said homes being filmed for hours. onto halloween! toni tells cheryl they can’t have a dead body in the horse and makes her rebury jason, at which point cheryl claims she is being haunted by a doll named julian, who is supposedly possessed by the spirit of her other brother that she ate in utero, but the haunting will stop if they unbury jason. toni agrees, but the doll continues to appear in weird places, and cheryl is forced to confess that while she WAS gaslighting her before, she isn’t right now. betty bonds with charles while receiving prank phone calls from polly, who is now in a mental institution. archie and munroe try to throw a halloween party at their community centre for the troubled youths but it’s interrupted by a drug dealing gang trying to start shit in the parking lot, thus giving archie a new enemy. reggie destroys mr honey’s office for the joke but mr honey catches him and is like “you do this because your dad hits you.” jughead uncovers mysteries surrounding strange disappearances of prep students known as “the stonewall four,” and donna drugs him so she and bretjoanjonathan can lock him in a coffin overnight as a bit. meanwhile, veronica burns a man alive in her basement. archie becomes a teen vigilante for the millionth time in the series, jughead and the other stonewall stags go into the running to be the ghostwriter for the baxter brothers franchise, veronica gets her mother out of prison but then finds out that her half sister, hermosa the PI, got their father out of prison, and he is now mayor again. betty and gay kevin start an fbi training course in which betty realises the serial killer gene is a real thing and she does have it, and remembers when she killed her childhood cat. jughead finds out that his grandfather who drunk himself to death but also abandoned fp but is also just some guy ACTUALLY wrote the baxter brothers franchise and is like “i have to reveal this!” so he takes it to his english teacher mr chipping but then mr chipping jumps out of a window before anything can come of it, and jughead is horrified when the stonewall stags have no reaction. cheryl is still convinced she is being haunted by a doll and things are further complicated when her extended family shows up. her uncle discovers jason’s body in the basement, threatens to send cheryl away, and is killed by toni. speaking of death, archie is still on his vigilante shit and asks hiram for help, at which point the near dead body of the gang leader, dodger shows up wrapped in carpet outside of the community centre. betty visits chic in prison to find out more about charles, and when chic threatens to reveal where milf alice buried the man she killed back in season two, charles and fp go to dig it up again and move it somewhere else. to get her family away from her and also in the spirit of thanksgiving, cheryl makes them think that they ate her uncle. dodger’s family show up at the community centre thanksgiving for revenge and there’s almost a shoot out, but thankfully the deep fryer explodes and chaos is avoided! milf mary later suggests the deep fryer exploding was archie’s dead dad’s ghost. betty and jughead spend the weekend at stonewall prep, where they play a homoerotic game of never have i ever with bret and donna. donna says that she and mr chipping were having an affair. now it’s time for the gang to go to therapy: archie gets diagnosed with gay but is also just suffering from an insane guilt complex, betty has mommy issues, veronica has daddy issues, cheryl is being gaslit but did NOT eat her brother in utero, jughead is just some guy. jughead finds out where his abusive alcoholic grandfather has been hiding out, and meanwhile his dad gets shot. veronica decides to fight back against her father by starting a rival rum business. polly rips off a nurse’s face and betty finds out that everyone in her family has a trigger word instilled in them by the cult, so she imagines herself going back in time to STOP her child self killing her cat to learn how to control it. cheryl uncovers her gaslighter by literally gassing her house, and it’s revealed that milf penelope was living in the walls and mad that cheryl had jason’s body. cheryl reburies jason and imprisons her mother in the sex bunker. archie’s uncle shows up, just in time for football season! the riverteens are playing stonewall prep, and reggie reveals that the preppies fight dirty, just in time for them to tonya harding munroe’s knees as he is their star player. archie’s uncle gives munroe steroids so he can play anyway, and riverdale loses but munroe gets a scholarship. cheryl feuds with her new cheerleading coach and locks her in her office so she has a panic attack. hiram threatens to sue veronica for stealing his rum recipe, so she teams up with cheryl (maple syrup queen) to create a new type. jughead joins the stonewall prep secret society, the quill and skull, and reveals that he watched a homeless man die. also, the cheerleading team performs cherry bomb. betty starts feuding with bret and decides to stand off against him in a quiz show, and although she wins, she is accused of cheating and is forced to give it up. she also wanted to use this to try and get into yale because apparently “cooper” is an uncommon name and people associate it with her serial killer father. veronica and cheryl enlist milf penelope and her former brothel in a hotel to run their underground rum dealership after hiram kept fucking shit up at veronica’s speakeasy. jughead is forced to come up with new stories for his baxter brother books, and so he writes about betty’s serial killer father (uh oh!) archie tries to restart his father’s construction company but his uncle’s shenanigans make it hard and gay kevin’s straight former cop dad has HAD IT. fangs is back from cult recovery, but gay kevin has gotten into non sexual tickle porn. toni and fangs get in on this they use this to blackmail nick st clair after he returns and understandably upsets cheryl, his would be rape victim. archie is attacked in the bathrooms at school because his uncle can’t mind his own business, but this plot was fucking boring so i don’t remember most of it. jughead and bret decided to duel, because of course, and betty uses this as a chance to investigate the preppies further. she finds out that bret films sex tapes and blackmailed moose with one, and also has one of her and jughead. she also finds a video suggesting donna lied about her affair with mr chipping. veronica goes to new york to visit katy keene, played by lucy hale of fantasy island fame, who tells her that her mother is dying. veronica returns home just in time to hear that hiram has a mysterious disease and decides to make amends. jughead is accused of plagiarism, meanwhile veronica realises her father thrives off war, and continues their rum battle. archie is now drinking at school and veronica accuses mr honey of being a fascist for having a problem with it. BUT. MOST IMPORTANTLY. ALL SEASON WE HAVE BEEN TEASED WITH DEADHEAD. AND IT IS FINALLY HAPPENING. IDES OF MARCH PARTY AT STONEWALL PREP. AND BETTY BASHES JUGHEAD’S HEAD IN WITH A ROCK. betty tries to prove that the stonewall stags did it instead but donna is an insane lesbian and thrives off gaslighting and fucking with her. because jughead died, betty gets his spot at yale. the core four are accused of murder but cleared of everything. jughead has a funeral, and bret’s attempt of proving jughead isn’t in the casket are thwarted by the sweet pea, the sweetest pea in the room. hiram shows up just to fire fp as sheriff. betty kisses archie to help with her grief, and veronica ends things with them both. but donna is not convinced, and goes around stalking betty, saying she watched her sex tape and knows that betty couldn’t last so long without sex with jughead. and she is right! because lo and behold, jughead is alive and hiding in the sex bunker, despite donna’s best attempts to catch them out. donna knows they’re up to something and implies she killed jonathan when bret doubts her. betty and archie are like “yeah we only dated for the bit :/” but their texting implies it was...more. betty and jughead return to stonewall and expose the preppies, but they decide not to interview jonathan because he “has food poisoning.” or he’s dead. their other teacher kills himself, and fp reunites with his abusive father. betty discovers that donna’s grandmother was one of the people killed for the rights to the baxter brothers/tracy true franchise, and the entire scheme was a complicated revenge plot by donna to get back at their teacher for killing her grandmother. betty blackmails her with this information so donna can’t have the tracy true contract, and everything is “wrapped up” just in time for gay kevin to announce he’s doing a variety show. gay kevin’s intentions of performing hedwig are destroyed when mr honey is like “no, this is inappropriate for high schoolers,” and so the riverteens decide to band together and have everyone perform hedwig songs as an act of protest. meanwhile, betty and jughead fight because jughead didn’t do his homework because he was too busy watching the stalker vhs tapes, and veronica and archie fight because he lied about her father working out at his gym, given that hiram has tried to kill him multiple times and doesn’t really care about his health. betty and archie use this as an opportunity to kiss during origin of love. the variety show is cancelled, but the core four and gay kevin perform midnight radio on the roof, and jughead watches a stalker vhs tape of someone in a betty mask killing someone in a jughead mask. tickle porn shenanigans continue, and gay kevin is threatened over cheating his original tickle porn handler out of money. mr honey then forces them to shut the website down. cheryl leaves the rum business after her mother is threatened because of goons that were mad at hiram. hiram decides to deal with this by going after said goons. archie writes a song for betty, they explore their relationship further, but she picks jughead over him even when he says he’ll dump veronica for her. jughead discovers that ethel watched his and betty’s sex tape, and he and charles uncover blue velvet video, which houses sexy films and snuff films, and jughead is like “oh this is connected to the whole vhs stalker thing.” cheryl is sent a video of someone dressed up as her father killing someone dressed up as her brother. the riverteens turn their focus to the fact that all of them except archie and jughead have been banned from prom for various reasons, and betty suggests they kill mr honey as punishment. jughead writes an elaborate murder fantasy about them doing so, and also kills off reggie and drives cheryl insane for the bit i guess. the riverteens conclude that mr honey was behind the vhs stalker tapes and have him fired, and he tells them they’re all deranged before going to teach at stonewall prep. the school secretary tells them all the wonderful things mr honey did for the school and hands jughead a recommendation letter he wrote him for college. jughead realises they fucked up and rewrites his story so mr honey lives, but uh oh! he and betty uncover a vhs tape of their fictional murder of mr honey, much like the others.

and that’s what you missed on riverdale!

[rayveewrites]

Ray Hijacks the Team ZIT Ghostbuster AU Again

So @shadeswift99 made a few posts a while ago about a Team ZIT(S) ghostbuster AU, And then I may or may not have hijacked the post to add in ideas for most of the other hermits because why not.

Now, back then I was spitballing ideas and making them up on the spot, which is admittedly my usual writing process, but hey.

That said, I've had more time to think about it, and then last night I blacked out for a few hours and came to with a Google Doc filled with short bios for all of the hermits and a handful of hermit-adjacents. Now, this rapidly turned into an urban fantasy AU in my hands, but hey. It's fun.

This is in alphabetical order, with alternate personas (EX, Helsknight, Beetlejhost) beneath their original counterparts when applicable:

Bdubs

Lives in an old mansion in the woods alongside Doc for reasons known only to them. Bdubs works as an interior designer, with a side gig as a freelance hairdresser. His eyes are unnaturally large, similar to Keralis’, and he is at least partially a plant. Completely feral and frequently gets in trouble for having knives on him at all times. He and Cleo have a thing called Knife Club which makes everyone else nervous. Nobody messes with Knife Club. It’s not worth it. Sunbathes frequently.

Beef

Is a perfectly normal human being. He works as a butcher with a side gig as a graphic designer specializing in album covers and spends his free time playing pokemon and dragging Etho along to social events. He was the first person to spot the cryptid, and the first person who Etho approached of his own accord.

Biffa

Is a ghost possessing a robotic shell. Biffa is from the future. While initially his main goal was to get back home to his own time, Biffa has since made friends and settled down into a new life running a cafe specializing in a wide range of teas. He’s quite content with this, and has actually found himself far happier than he was in his own time. While his nature means he can see, hear and touch ghosts, his body was built specifically for a disembodied soul to be in the driver’s seat, and he doesn’t want to risk another taking control. Also, he has more important things to do than have fistfights with ghosts.

Cleo

Is a ghost possessing her own dead corpse. Her nature allows her to see, hear and touch ghosts. Can and will fistfight spirits. She works as a teacher, so she’s usually busy, but occasionally in really nasty situations the Beetlejhost will drag her in to break a ghost’s legs. Does sculpture in her free time, and is actually really good. The only one who can wrangle Beetle to any real capacity, and she’s learned to keep him on a fairly short leash. Housemates with Joe, and Keralis also pops in pretty frequently. Has Knife Club with Bdubs. Has an enchanted flower crown that prevents her from decaying further; a gift from Beetle. Recently started learning magic in the form of necromancy and illusions. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Zloy, in which she temporarily traps his soul in random inanimate objects every now and then.

Cub

A bit of a ‘mad scientist’ archetype, Cub’s experiments are not exactly the most ethical, though they’re at least more professional than Doc’s. Responsible for the creation of Jevin. Cub gets possessed stupidly easily- sometimes willingly- and can usually handle it himself but sometimes has to call for help. Has a magical method of communication with Scar for exactly this reason. Has a day job as co-owner of a business called ConCorp, which he started with Scar. Has probably broken the Geneva Convention.

Doc

Was presumably human at one point. Now an abomination. Repeated experiments on himself have resulted in a massively changed facial and foot structure, a body covered in mottled green scales, claws, and goat horns. He lost half his face in one of his experiments, and constructed a new cybernetic one. He lost his right arm fighting God. Killed said god and would do it again. Lives in a mansion in the woods with Bdubs, though nobody’s really sure why. Owns a casino because of course he does. Also a living crime against fashion, because the man refuses to wear anything other than his tattered lab coat, torn jeans, and crocs.

Ely

Runs the local radio station. Nobody’s ever seen him in person, and nobody knows where he gets people’s voice clips for his remixes. Probably a cryptid. Maybe a ghost. Seems pretty chill, despite the blatant invasions of privacy.

Etho

Is a cryptid. Lives out in the woods in an abomination that can barely be called a house. Has never been seen in anything other than full Kakashi cosplay. Tends to keep to himself, but occasionally lets Beef drag him along to social events, often with Doc and Bdubs. Nobody really knows what his deal is. Probably not human. Probably.

False

Used to be part of an illegal underground cage fighting ring, until she earned enough to buy her way out. Having grown up in said ring, she struggles to adjust to normal life, but living in a town where the barista is a robot and the local tailor has wings makes it easier. She now has a job as security at Doc’s casino, alongside Iskall.

Grian

Is either an angel or a demigod, but nobody knows which. Has wings. Is both a tailor and an architect. A complete gremlin who has elaborate masks of various birds and will wear them to commit crimes. Eats seeds. Messes with everyone else’s plants. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats. Volunteers at the local theatre.

Hypno

Has three eyes, but hides the third one under a bandanna at all times. Can see ghosts with it. Had problems with sections of plumbing randomly getting clogged and also making very weird noises, and eventually called Team ZIT when the plumbers couldn’t find the source. Was prepared for ghosts, but wound up with a slime creature instead. Works in a $2 store for some reason.

Impulse

Is fully human. The most sensible member of Team ZIT (which admittedly isn’t saying much), Impulse has a day job as a freelancer building custom PCs and fixing broken tech. Agreed to the whole ghostbusting deal because he was bored, mostly. Was the first one to meet Skizz face-to-face, and is the one to own that particular place outright. Gets possessed every now and then, usually by larger spirits. Used to run solely on caffeine and chronic anxiety until Zedaph started getting on his case about his sleep schedule. Now he runs on less caffeine, more sleep, and the same amount of chronic anxiety.

Iskall

Was part of a cloning experiment to create the ultimate hitman, and was the only known one to both survive and escape before the whole thing was shut down by the authorities. Their eye and arm were replaced with cybernetics in order to increase their already enhanced abilities, and they were chased by said authorities, eventually winding up on Mumbo’s doorstep and becoming Mumbo’s problem. Now works as security at Doc’s casino, alongside False. Lives at Jungle Wood flats. Occasionally volunteers at the local theatre. Does bonsai as a hobby.

Jevin

Is the slime creature in the pipes. Hypno lets him live with him under the condition he stops blocking the plumbing and making weird noises at 3 AM (Jevin still blocks the plumbing and makes weird noises at 3 AM, just not as much as he was). Has taught himself to take a humanoid shape, and likes having fingers. Sleeps in the bathtub because he can. Was created from a vat of chemicals in a secret lab underneath the house, which used to be owned by Cub. Doesn’t really talk to the man in question that much, but will occasionally refer to Cub as his father for the sole reason of watching him go through eight existential crises in three minutes. Has a glock.

Joe

Head librarian at the local public library, and has read a lot of books on Supernatural Things. Is a veritable fountain of exposition if you can figure out what he’s saying or have Cleo along with you to threaten the integrity of his shins. Has never been seen in the same place as the Beetlejhost. Are they the same person? Are they entirely separate beings? Is there a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde-type situation going on? Who knows!

Beetlejhost

Literally nobody really knows what his deal is. Nobody. Team ZIT ran into him on a call that they expected to be a false alarm and then he decided to follow them home. Spends most of his time being a minor nuisance in the most bizarre ways possible. Is implied to be responsible for the Ever Given getting lodged in the Suez Canal, but never confirmed. When he’s not bothering Team ZIT or getting them out of tight spots, he’s usually pestering Cleo, the only one who can keep him in line. It’s not really known if he and Cleo have a history or if they’re just Like That.

Keralis

Is a ghost haunting an architecture firm, and is mostly bound to the building, though he can travel to other buildings the firm has built, which is, uh, most of them. Initially only able to do small things- mostly writing notes or drawing diagrams- he eventually meets the Beetlejhost when the latter follows Mumbo to work one day for shits and giggles (he wanted to see how long he could mess with Mumbo before the man noticed. As it turned out, about a week, and by the end it was Iskall who noticed). After a couple of days in which Beetle teaches Keralis Ghost Things™, he scares half the office when he finally manifests for the first time. Has unnaturally large eyes and nicknames for most of the workers. Has no idea how he died or what his unfinished business might be. Very knowledgeable about architecture, and his input is usually very much appreciated.

Mumbo

Is a perfectly normal human being who does IT at Keralis’ architecture firm. Lives at Jungle Wood flats and spends most of his free time tinkering with tech and trying to keep Grian and Iskall out of trouble, which is a losing battle. Has a large, beating golden heart in his flat. He’s not really sure what its deal is, but if he feeds it apples it produces enough power for the entire building. Oh, and if he forgets to feed it for an extended period of time it starts draining his bank account. It’s really weird.

Pixlriffs

Was a perfectly normal human being until he died protecting a certain Russian zombie and became a perfectly normal ghost. Was a reporter in life and is a reporter in death. Runs a blog alongside Zloy about the local goings-on, supernatural or not. The blog’s the type where unless you live in/near the town you most likely won’t stumble across it, but they do have a small following of outsiders who assume the blog’s just a work of fiction. His unfinished business is to prevent Zloy from doing anything particularly stupid, a constant battle. Is able to go more places than Zloy due to being incorporeal, but respects people’s privacy. He’s bound to Zloy to a certain degree, not being able to go beyond a certain range of his friend. The range is pretty big, though, and he has plenty freedom of movement.

Python

Had a run-in with the fae as a kid, in which he accidentally pissed one off. In retribution, the faerie challenged him to answer a riddle or he’d be turned into a snake. Python’s answer was partially correct, so the faerie only transformed him partially. Python is fairly chill, though he strongly dislikes the cold and starts hissing if anyone disturbs him during Sun Time™. Sometimes Bdubs, being partially flora, joins Python for Sun Time™. He’s not venomous, because, you know...python. Also, he has a mildly disturbing habit of strangling rats and mice and then eating them whole, but he can’t help it and just tries not to do so when he has company.

Ren

Is a werewolf. He’s pretty chill regardless of form, though it’s only been recently he’s been comfortable enough leaving his ears and tail visible. He works as a lumberjack. One time Pixl introduced him to Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song and it quickly became his favourite thing. He spends most of his free time volunteering at the local theatre because Ren is absolutely a theatre kid and nobody can convince me otherwise. Gets possessed every now and then. Lives in Jungle Wood flats.

Scar

Works as a landscape developer. Gets possessed absurdly easily, though not quite as frequently as Cub. Has a magical method of communication with him. Technically co-owns ConCorp, but isn’t as involved. His cat, Jellie, is very obviously an eldritch abomination in feline form and he is comedically unaware of this. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats with Grian, Iskall, Mumbo, Stress, and Ren.

Skizz

Is the ghost haunting Team ZIT’s office. He was murdered by someone he’d thought was a friend who was trying to use his place to hide from the cops, and he’s stuck around, haunting the building. His unfinished business is to make sure nobody else uses the building for anyone shady, but the ghost rumours tended to chase most people off. Eventually he gets used to having Team ZIT around, and when Tango admits he doesn’t really have anywhere to go one day, Skizz eventually makes the decision to finally unlock the still-furnished upper floor for him. He’s bound to the building, but Impulse learns that carrying Skizz’s old vest with them allows him to leave. After that, Skizz sometimes accompanies them on missions and occasionally just hanging out. He’s usually more helpful than the Beetlejhost is.

Stress

Is a witch. Stress lives in Jungle Wood Flats and works as a doctor who specializes in supernaturally caused injuries- Team ZIT are some of her best customers. She also sells magic potions of various kinds, and has a side gig as a florist. She’s 90% of the Jungle inhabitants’ impulse control. Also has cryokinesis.

Tango

The Team ZIT member with a car. He gets possessed with frankly ridiculous frequency, but claims not to believe in ghosts for a long time (and keeps up the bit for even longer). Has developed various signals to indicate when he’s being possessed again. The strongest one, a rather nasty demon Cleo and the Beetlejhost had to team up on, left him with his glowing red eyes. He didn’t really have anywhere to go before Impulse bought the office, and tended to sleep on the couch or in his car until Skizz decided to let him into the upper floor, where he now lives alongside Zedaph and Impulse.

TFC

A now-retired ghostbuster, TFC calls in Team ZIT one night when he finds himself in over his head against a ghost with a grudge. He winds up becoming a bit of a mentor figure to the trio, usually coaching them over the phone if they’re not sure how to deal with one of the stranger spirits. Lost his leg years ago in a fight with a poltergeist that could have gone better, and now has a robotic prosthetic made by Doc.

Wels

While Team ZIT was out investigating some rumour or another in the woods, they came across a large stone box. Following video game logic, I guess, they then decided opening this large stone box sounded like a fun idea. Well, Tango and Zedaph did. Impulse was a bit more hesitant. The box actually held a medieval knight who’d been put in an enchanted sleep for centuries by his demonic doppelgänger, and was very much not prepared for modern life. Team ZIT took him to Xisuma, who happened to live closest, and Wels is currently helping out on the farm and trying to adjust to life in the 21st century. He can understand and speak modern English just fine because magic. Volunteers at the local theatre quite a lot.

Hels

Is Wels’ doppelgänger. Technically a minor demon. Won a fight with Wels and sealed him away for centuries as a result. A recurring problem. His real motivation is that he really desperately doesn’t want to go back to Hell, but he’s too proud to admit it. Lives in the woods with EX, who’s basically his only friend, though the weirdo with the brown cardigan keeps pestering him about his backstory and feelings for some reason. Has minor pyrokinesis.

XB

Like Biffa, XB is also a ghost from the future, though it seems to be a different timeline than Biffa’s. His unfinished business is preventing the apocalypse, but he has no idea how to do that, no idea if he’s in the right timeline, and is pretty sure he’s gone back a lot farther than he probably should’ve. Also, there’s the whole paradox issue, where if he prevents the apocalypse he never has a reason to go back and prevent the apocalypse, so he doesn’t prevent the apocalypse, so he has to go back and- he tries not to think about it too much. He mostly just hangs out in an abandoned house on the edge of town and vibes.

Xisuma

Is a beekeeper. Nobody’s ever seen his face; when he’s not in his beekeeping outfit, he’s either wearing a helmet, or (more recently) an extremely lifelike and detailed animal mask (is it a mask?). Actually a shapeshifting alien, he crashed down to Earth after a scuffle with his evil clone and was stranded because Earth doesn’t have the right tools or resources to repair a spaceship. These days he’s actually found he’s happier tending to his bees, selling honey, and helping his friends out, and probably wouldn’t leave Earth even if he could. It’s a simpler life, but a pleasant one. He bonds with Biffa over a shared love of tea and being stranded in a technologically inferior world and finding a home.

Evil Xisuma

Is Xisuma’s clone. Feels that if everyone’s going to call him ‘Evil’ he may as well own it. Shot his original’s spaceship down in a scuffle but wound up being brought down with him. Currently hides in the woods. Generally more of a minor nuisance than an actual danger. Used to spend his free time bothering X but has gotten put off by Wels, who has a problem when it comes to evil clones. His friends consist of Hels, who is a terrible role model, and Zedaph, who’s trying to help him work through his problems behind everyone’s backs. Can summon lightning because he deserves it.

Zedaph

Is the reason Team ZIT is ghostbusting in the first place. He’s a sheep shearer by trade, but that’s a fairly seasonal thing and ghostbusting is more fun anyway. Has somehow never been possessed, and claims it’s because he’s always standing next to Tango. He makes sure the other two gets enough sleep Because we all know they can’t be trusted to do it. Probably has some sort of really bizarre and situational magical powers he is thoroughly unaware of. Qualified to be a licensed therapist. Made friends with Evil X at one point, somehow.

Zloy

Like Cleo, he’s a ghost possessing a corpse. Unlike Cleo, there’s a good chance it’s not his corpse. Eh, it’s not like anyone else was using it. Runs a blog with Pixl, because why not. Was already a zombie when he met Pixl, who was still alive at the time. His body is a bit more decayed than Cleo’s, but it’s fine. His goggles are enchanted with the same preservation spell; it’s not really ever explained where he got them from. Has no regard for privacy but is fortunately unable to turn invisible or phase through walls due to inhabiting a physical body. Both can theoretically physically fight ghosts and has enough time to physically fight ghosts, meaning he would be a valuable ally if he could be bothered. Lives in a graveyard. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Cleo, in which he puts jabs at her on the blog. Once spent a week as a (very sarcastic) floating potato.

Hermiton

Is the name of the place they all live in/near. Located in an ambiguous location in an ambiguous country, Hermiton is technically large enough to be considered a city but has Town VibesTM. Supernatural going-ons are a fairly normal part of life, and a good number of inhabitants aren’t humans. Despite this, the wider world seems mostly ignorant of the existence of ghosts, magic, etc. I’m not too sure about geography, but it’s surrounded by forest in most directions and in a warm enough climate to not have snow in the winter (so Python doesn’t, you know, freeze to death). Most people don’t tend to bat an eyelid at strange-looking people walking down the street or serving them at the store; they’re used to it by now. There are several theories as to why Hermiton specifically has so much going on when it comes to the supernatural- ley lines, secretly the resting place of some long-forgotten god, et cetera- but it’s actually more of a case of ‘people who have supernatural traits hear rumours of a place where a lot of people have supernatural traits and go there in search of answers/a place to belong’. This doesn’t exactly explain where all the ghosts came from, but hey. Nothing’s perfect.

[bigbadredpanda]

Hi there! I wanna ask about the ressurection in mdsz. I am from a dharmic religious background and as I understand, resurrection involves binding the soul to the corpse using resentment which comes from bad (for lack of a better word) karma. This must really mess up the reincarnation cycle and ultimately the path to nirvana right? So, what would this mean for corpses brought back by wwx&wrh, especially for WN, song lan & nmj? Are WN and song lan effectively immortal? Thx in advance 😄.

Hi! Apologies for the long answer delay, these are very interesting questions and I needed to do some research and digging around as Chinese spiritual beliefs are such a complex subject! I’ll only lay out some broad strokes as a more in-depth analysis would be way beyond the scope of my knowledge ^^' Of course, if I get anything wrong, please do correct me!

As you mention Wen Ruohan, may I make the assumption that you were acquainted with MDZS through the live action? His interest in demonic cultivation as well as the Yin metal subplot were unique to Chenqingling and the live action also made a number of changes like replacing the reanimated corpses by “puppets” due to strict censorship laws that ban the portrayal of a great many things including supernatural aspects. My answer is primarily based on the framework of the novel but in this case it should still apply to the live action!

Systems of beliefs and practices in China tend not be mutually exclusive but intertwined, they find their roots in a number of spiritual/philosophical/religious movements, the main of which being Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism and folk religion.

Chinese folklore has a long history of ghost tales and modern fantasy cultivation novels are one more facet of that tradition, corpses reviving and ghosts coming back to haunt the living are considered to be fairly “natural” occurrences, “natural” in the sense that they are relatively commonplace. Exorcising malevolent beings to protect common folk is the bread and butter of the average cultivator and that’s how the story starts out with the Gusu Lan disciples being tasked by the Mo family to eliminate some walking corpses.

看来这莫家庄近来不大太平。走尸，意如其字，即为走路的死人，一种较为低等也十分常见的尸变者。一般目光呆滞，行走缓慢，杀伤力并不强，但也够平常人担惊受怕的了，光是那股腐臭就够吐一壶。

It seemed that Mo village had not been peaceful of late. Walking corpses which were dead people able to move around as their name implied were rather low-level and frequently seen creatures that came from transformed corpses. In general, their gaze was lifeless and their gait slow. They were not particularly threatening but they were enough to scare away common folk as their sole putrid stench could make one vomit. (ch.3)

Ghosts, walking corpses and even fierce corpses are a common nuisance that can arise from a variety of causes: an unnatural death, lingering resentment, lack of proper rituals for the funeral and so on. For instance, there’s a fierce corpse paying a visit to a person that wronged him in life in the gate-crashing extra (ch.120-123).

Concerning the place of religion in the world of MDZS, we know that the ancestor of the Gusu Lan Sect, Lan An, was originally Buddhist monk who left his temple to lead a secular life and then founded a Sect. His descendants uphold practices that originate from their ancestor such as studying Buddhist scripture. However, cultivators are not shown to be particularly pious, they do not worship deities or hold religious festivals, that’s the domain of the common folk: the worship of the local stone goddess or the attendees of the Guanyin temple (even though it was built by Jin Guangyao). The practices that cultivators observe do not fall under one particular religious denomination, they are part of the ubiquitous rituals related to filial piety such as ancestor worship. It’s also worthwhile to note that the purpose of cultivation comes is essentially taoist: to refine the self and prolong one’s lifetime. In more high fantasy settings (MDZS is described as low fantasy xianxia by the author), this ultimate goal is to attain immortality which would be at odds with Buddhist beliefs to reach nirvana.

The worlds created in wuxia and xianxia genre are rife with references to Buddhist, Taoist, Confucian beliefs and practices but as we can see these different influences cohabit together. The topic of the afterlife in MDZS lore is not really broached, the author mentions in an interview that while Wei Wuxian was dead, the remains of his consciousness was stuck in some sort of unending nightmare. Some other poor souls wander the earth, unable to pass on without the assistance of a cultivator. Elsewhere, in chapter 125, Wei Wuxian recalls suspecting an old man fiercely guarding his lotus lake to be the reincarnation of lotus spirit because of his uncanny tendency to know exactly when a lotus pilferer (Wei Wuxian) is nearby. In chapter 86, a cultivator surmises that Wen Ruohan must be fuming from Jin Guangyao’s betrayal in the Netherworld (referred to as the Nine Springs in Chinese). And then you have the memorial tablets in the ancestral halls that are traditionally said to house the deceased’s soul. As there is no single answer, what lies beyond the veil of death remains a bit of a mystery. It’s possible that there is a mix of all these different beliefs just like in folk religion. Upon death, a soul might linger in the mortal world or go straight to the Netherworld where it will be judged (ancient China being the precursor of bureaucracy, their idea of the afterlife is also very bureaucratic with different Courts to punish evildoers). Should the soul be found guilty, it will remain for a time in the Netherworld to be punished and to atone for its crimes and then move on the cycle of reincarnation.

After this long-winded introduction to spirituality in MDZS-verse, I’m finally coming back to your questions. Demonic cultivation does not grant Wei Wuxian powers over life and death. The corpses he raises and controls are those that are already brimming with resentful energy and already possess the latent potential to arise on their own. Nie Mingjue belongs to the same category although he became a more dangerous fierce corpse. Corpses such as him will remain as they are until they are quelled. In Lan Qiren’s lesson, Lan Wangji enumerates the accepted ways to deal with such a corpse:

蓝忘机并不去看魏无羡，颔首示礼，淡声道：“度化第一，镇压第二，灭绝第三。先以父母妻儿感之念之，了其生前所愿，化去执念；不灵，则镇压；罪大恶极，怨气不散，则斩草除根，不容其存。玄门行事，当谨遵此序，不得有误。”

Without sparing a glance to Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji nodded and bowed, he intoned, “First, liberation. Second, suppression. Third, extermination. Appeal first to the deceased’s attachment to his kin, achieve the desires they could not whilst they were living, release them from the fetters binding them to this world. If that method proves ineffective, proceed with suppression. The more grievous the crimes, the more difficult it is to dissipate resentful energy. In this case, it is thus necessary to exterminate them completely and not leave a shred remaining. This is the protocol of the cultivation world and must be observed scrupulously and undeviatingly.  (ch.14)

Wen Ning and Song Lan are different from these mindless, violent corpses as they were able to regain consciousness through advanced techniques of demonic cultivation. They are effectively immortal but destructible. As the author said, how long they may live depends on proper maintenance!

[hunxi-guilai]

this might be kind of an "opinion" question, so feel free to skip it but - do you think WWX should or would teach his style of demonic cultivation a la his Yiling Patriarch era, or nah? it's a popular fandom thing, but I can't help but look at the corpse desecration and the whole "bad for your body and spirit" and think it's more akin to working with radiation - useful and helpful in small, controlled doses, but you don't bathe in it or encourage others to either.

!!!! a fascinating question anon, and one that is very much connected to questions of CQL worldbuilding, which, as we all know, is Notoriously Sketch. I’m going to try my best to outline the theory of demonic cultivation as I understand it, based on my own (rather scanty) knowledge of CQL canon, and then see if I can reach any conclusions from there.

(please note that I’m proceeding solely off of CQL canon, so if the novel says anything different and/or I’m completely off-base in my understanding of CQL worldbuilding, then I vote we let this entire post can dissolve quietly into the unending darkness of the underbelly of the internet where dumb posts go to die)

all righty, so we got folks in this world who cultivate spiritual energy in order to form a golden core, which in turn will aid them on their spiritual journey towards becoming immortal cultivators. Along the way, they get fun bonus skills like flying on swords, talismanic shenaniganery, supernatural healing, as well as the capacity to use their spiritual energy to upgrade otherwise normal abilities – swordsmanship, music – to Magical Abilities.

Demonic cultivation, in contrast, replaces the usage of your own spiritual energy for self-cultivation purposes and instead draws power from resentful energy. The problem with demonic cultivation, then, is that resentful energy has to come from somewhere. I’m guessing that most folks don’t have enough resentful energy on their own to power a significant amount of demonic cultivation, which is where desecrating corpses and breaking into tombs comes in handy. When you disturb the spirits of the dead, they’ll generate resentful energy due to inappropriate burial ritual, and you can very quickly harness a very large amount of power.

As far as I can gather, resentful energy is capable of much the same as spiritual energy – can power musical cultivation, supernatural healing, the works. It simply comes from an alternate, exterior source, rather than having to rely only on whatever amount of spiritual energy you possess (which can make it rather tempting for those who don’t have a particularly strong cultivational base, like Jin Guangyao). If accomplishing things with the aid of spiritual energy is like seeing how far you can walk in a day under your own power, then channeling and controlling resentful energy is like getting in a sleek black sports car and flooring it, with the added bonus of being able to control the dead/undead by twiddling with the radio knobs. Oh, and that car doesn’t take gasoline, it runs on corpses.

The catch is, of course, that resentful energy corrupts. We see this in Xue Chonghai, in Wen Ruohan, in Wei Wuxian. In addition to granting the cultivator access to a great deal of power, it also opens said cultivator up to the risk of being overwhelmed, in return, by resentful energy. I would guess that Xue Chonghai and Wen Ruohan didn’t start out as the genocidal megalomaniacs they became, but were rather corrupted into it by overexposure to resentful energy. The risks for Wei Wuxian in particular, are doubled – he doesn’t have spiritual energy to fall back on or to anchor himself to, so he has no choice but to continue using resentful energy. This becomes especially relevant in the second battle of Nightless City – Wei Wuxian uses resentful energy to heal himself from that arrow-wound, but in turn erodes his already-fraying control over his only source of power.

So, can resentful energy/demonic cultivation be used for good as long as you remain in control? Theoretically, yes – but the show implies that it’s impossible to remain indefinitely in control, that even without the machinations and meddling of other parties, Wei Wuxian would have eventually lost control as well. At the same time, Wei Wuxian makes an excellent point in episode 4 about balancing the flows of energies in the world; he references 大禹治水 Da Yu taming the floods as an example of why merely suppressing resentful energy isn’t as good as channeling it towards more productive purposes, and thereby letting its force dissipate. We can see an in-universe example of how destructive unchecked resentful energy is – the Burial Mounds are uninhabitable, deadly, an area of land thoroughly gone to waste. No number of cultivators and all their vaunted spiritual power could cleanse the area; no, it takes Wei Wuxian, channeling resentful energy through demonic cultivation, to turn the Burial Mounds back into a place that could see human civilization.

All of this, really, is a long and roundabout way of answering your question anon with: yes, I think you’re absolutely right in that resentful energy/demonic cultivation can be useful/helpful in small doses. Again, Wei Wuxian has the right of it in episode 4 – resentful energy is just energy, the way spiritual energy is energy, and it would certainly be helpful if cultivators to knew how to handle resentful energy, given the nature of their occupation. There are things that resentful energy can accomplish that spiritual energy cannot, and it seems to me that studying resentful energy would be useful for just understanding how the forces of the world interact with / react to each other. That being said, resentful energy cannot and should not replace spiritual energy as a medium of cultivation, because that doesn’t end prettily for anyone who’s tried.

[calamity-bean]

16 new horror films i’ve watched at random lately just cause i’ve been in the mood for horror

Been thinking about horror today, and fun fact, I’ve actually been fairly DEVOURING horror films of late! Sixteen new ones in the past couple weeks, in fact, according to the little list I’ve been keeping! New to me, that is, though they do all happen to be very recent releases (2016 at earliest). Horror is a genre with which I often like to pull up Netflix or Hulu and just pick at random some film I’ve never heard of and don’t know the first thing about; I feel like it’s a genre that depends so much on personal taste and that encompasses such a wide variety of tropes and approaches that I never entirely know whether I’ll like a particular film until I try it. It’s a gamble, sure, and sometimes it’s a dull or infuriating couple hours... But I love horror in general, and I feel like it’s a genre in which even terrible films often stir my imagination with the potential of their premise if not the brilliance of their execution. And you do find those hidden gems.

Anyway, since I love to hear myself talk, I thought I’d share my quick impressions of the ones I’ve watched lately, in case any of you are also in the mood to stream something new! These are (almost) all currently on Netflix or Hulu, so have at it. No specific spoilers; mostly just whether I liked it or not and why. I added a few content warnings where I remembered any elements that, to me, went beyond genre-standard levels of content or involved specific common triggers, but, I mean, they’re all horror films, so do your due diligence if necessary and do expect some level of violent or disturbing content in all of them. 

The sixteen films in question are: Sweetheart (2019); The Lodge (2019); Mercy Black (2019); What Keeps You Alive (2018); Cold Skin (2017); The Golem (2018); Rattlesnake (2019); We Summon the Darkness (2019); The Wretched (2019); They Come Knocking (2019); Pyewacket (2017); The Other Lamb (2019); The Silence (2019); Body at Brighton Rock (2019); Under the Shadow (2016); and Seven in Heaven (2018).

Brief descriptions and impressions and such under the cut!

Sweetheart: Survival/monster horror about a young woman who, after the boat she and her friends were on goes down in a storm, washes up alone on an uninhabited island… and then realizes she’s not entirely alone. Quite liked this one! Like almost any horror movie, it suffers from the fact that monsters are almost ALWAYS far scarier (and far less cheesy) before you actually see their CGI rendering chasing the protag, but that’s typical, we’re used to that. The protagonist is smart and capable, and the actress (Kiersey Clemons) has to carry so much of the film solo and often with very sparse dialogue. Warning for mutilated and decomposing corpses.

The Lodge: A woman who as a child was the only survivor of a cult winds up stranded with her new fiance’s two children in a remote, snowbound lodge. This one was pretty dark! I love themes of cold, isolation, and losing connection with reality, and I think the whole cast does a great job; the acting and production are overall high quality. Not sure it captured my imagination enough for a rewatch, but I did enjoy watching it. My fellow Barkskins fans will notice a few glimpses of our own Renardette. Warnings for onscreen suicide, pet death, and psychiatric/medical manipulation. 

Mercy Black: A young woman returns home fifteen years after, in her childhood, being involved in a disturbing act of violence inspired by an urban legend called Mercy Black. I like the concept behind this one, in terms of the urban legend, the protagonist’s relationship with it; I liked the overall film okay, but I found certain aspects a bit cliche or thinly sketched. Standard supernatural horror levels of violence and spookiness, imo.

What Keeps You Alive: For their one-year anniversary, a young couple vacation to a remote house in the woods, where the protagonist begins to learn some strange things about her wife. I really enjoyed this one. It might be my favorite on this list, and certainly one of the ones I’m more likely to watch again. It’s well structured, well made, with a strong, compact cast, and it’s gotten the song “Bloodlet” stuck in my head for weeks. However, you will probably not enjoy this one if, as I know is the case for some people, you would rather not consume content that depicts LGBT relationships that are unhealthy or LGBT characters who are villainous. I get where you’re coming from, but it means this one probably isn’t for you. It also isn’t for you if you would rather not see some quite brutal injuries.

Cold Skin: Okay, this is the only one that wasn’t actually on streaming, I checked this out from my local library. Set in 1914, a young man takes a post as a meteorologist on a remote island in the South Atlantic, inhabited only by the unfriendly lighthouse keeper… and the creatures that crawl onto shore at night. Gosh… How do I feel about this one? There are aspects that are cheesy, effects that don’t entirely hold up. But I liked it. I like the idea of it, and I like the themes of isolation and connection, and I like the protagonist and overall I think it’s a solid and interesting narrative. Sort of… The Terror meets Lovecraft. Warning for offscreen (but audible, and almost visible) sexual assault.

The Golem: Set in the late 17th century in a rural Lithuanian shtetl, a woman creates a golem to protect her community from the threats of Christians who blame her people for the plague. Thematically, this one centers largely around motherhood, which I think makes sense with how it’s done here, and I always like the supernatural elements of a horror film to have a very strong, personal thematic link with the protagonist’s emotional character arc. Stars Maman Brigitte from American Gods! Warning for mentions of miscarriage and themes of child death.

Rattlesnake: After a mishap on a remote highway, a woman unknowingly makes a deal with the devil in order to save her young daughter’s life. I liked this one as well; I found the protagonist enjoyable, the overall concept straightforward but engaging, and the hot, arid, rural setting — I think it’s supposed to be around Palo Duro? — an effective backdrop. Not spooky-scary, but nice tension throughout. 

We Summon the Darkness: Set in the 80s, three girls travel to a heavy metal concert despite the string of recent killings apparently committed by a Satanic cult. This one is basically a slasher flick — with a twist, yeah, but essentially the slasher model of teens plus extensive violence — and I think it’s a pretty decent one. And I liked the hair and costumes, ahaha. 

The Wretched: A teenage boy becomes convinced that his new neighbor has been possessed by something evil. I like the narrative and the characters in this one okay, but where I really have to give it props is in the overall visual presentation of the supernatural threats; it’s able to lean into uncanniness and human body horror that work well on film rather than presenting a creature created wholecloth (which, as I mentioned earlier, often doesn’t work super well).

They Come Knocking: On a drive into the middle of nowhere, a father and his two daughters hear something knocking on their caravan at night, asking to be let in. Okay, so… this one is a black-eyed children story (with a setup reminiscent of ye olde Anansi’s Goatman, too, in a way), and I have to admit that black-eyed children are one of those tropes that doesn’t work for me even as a creepypasta, it just strikes me as lame and dumb. And I did find the actual children in this film to be, well, cheesy and dumb-looking. But the human side of the narrative — the characters and their relationships and emotional aspects — is actually pretty well done! So I found it engaging enough in that regard.

Pyewacket: A teenage girl who has a difficult relationship with her mother lashes out by trying to summon a demon to kill her, only to regret the ritual right away. I think this one was well done, too, pretty dark, with a spooky forest setting and some genuinely creepy glimpses of the supernatural threat. I am also delighted to discover that Pyewacket is actually the name of a familiar spirit according to the confession of an accused witch in the 17th century. (Not delighted by the fact that this poor 17th century woman was tortured for being an alleged witch, but delighted that there’s a little historical inspo here.) Warning for a fairly graphic death by burning.

The Other Lamb: This one is not horror as in “scary” but horror as in thematically disturbing and a little eerie. A young girl who’s been raised in a cult — all female except for their leader, to whom all the members are either wives or daughters — begins to question her faith. Slow, quiet, and a bit surreal, with some slightly feral-woman themes that are up my alley; I think I enjoyed it? The cast is quite good, especially the protagonist (Raffey Cassidy) and cult leader (Michiel Huisman with, I gotta say, some truly lovely hair). Warning for onscreen but nongraphic (as in, clothed and not showing anything below the neck) sexual assault of a minor.

The Silence: A deaf teenager and her family struggle to survive amidst an apocalypse of deadly monsters that attack based on sound. No, I’m not talking about A Quiet Place. I do feel a bit sorry for this film, because I know that it was conceived of and began production well before A Quiet Place came out, only to essentially be doomed by its striking similarity to such a successful film… And honestly, it’s not as good as A Quiet Place; it’s cheesier, there are more plot and character holes, the ultimate main threat feels disconnected from the premise, and the core theme/character arcs aren’t as cohesive. But it’s not TERRIBLE. It’s more of a B-movie-esque monster/disaster flick, is all. And I like Stanley Tucci, so at least he’s always fun to watch.

Body at Brighton Rock: An inexperienced parks employee gets lost in the backcountry and has to spend the night watching over a (possibly murdered) body she stumbles across while awaiting rescue. This one… hm. It’s like, I didn’t hate it? But it was frustrating. It reused the same scares / fake-outs multiple times, and even by horror movie standards the protagonist was maddeningly careless. I think it was all the more disappointing because I do like the setting and premise but felt it could’ve been better. 

Under the Shadow: In 1980s Tehran, during the air raids and missile strikes of the War of the Cities, a woman begins to fear something evil is stalking her young daughter through their emptying apartment building. This is another top fave, and I think overall the most well constructed film on this list in an objective sense. Strong narrative, strong characters and acting, a really great atmosphere of claustrophobia and tension and dread, and an interesting and effective setting. Would absolutely watch again.

Seven in Heaven: At a house party, two teenagers enter a closet as part of a kissing game, and they exit into a parallel universe that is similar but different in striking ways. This one was, hm… okay? I felt like it could’ve gone so much farther with the potential of alternate universes, in terms of really making them weird and interesting, and although I don’t expect a film to spell out everything for me, I just thought that the whole underlying mechanism of what was happening was left too unexplained. Also, the background characters looked like they were played by actual high school-age teens while the main characters looked like your standard Hollywood 20-something “teens,” which created kind of a weird dissonance lmao. But it was okay.

Overall, I didn’t HAAATE any of these; most were fine, some I found less engaging or more frustrating than others, and some I really enjoyed. I did start and then not finish a few more as well... I watched about 20 minutes of Black Rock (2012) before deciding I wasn’t in the mood for where it was going, and I just barely started We Are What We Are (2010) but realized I was too tired and distracted by other things to pay enough attention to subtitles at the moment. On a not strictly horror note, but it’s still thriller so we’ll toss it in, I got a ways into The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017) because that’s a helluva title and I wanted to see Barry Keoghan’s work outside Dunkirk (the only film I’d seen him in), but man, that’s a weird one huh, very slow, very odd style of dialogue. I’ll still likely finish some or all of those at some point, but I just wasn’t in the right headspace when I first tried. 

Anyway, this has been me telling you what movies I’ve been watching! I’m sure you’re enthralled. And please always feel free to talk horror movies to me or send me recs!

[girl-in-the-tower]

SWITCHY EMOJI I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND FOR AGATHA, VITA, DIANA, THEO AND KORE. PLEASE.

OK, SO LET ME YELL ABOUT THE WITCH AND THE BEAST AU THAT LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD.

Thank you for the ask!! ❤

Vita is basically Phanora Kristoffel, lol.

Joking, kinda. Basically to take things in order, I imagine Diana, Agatha and Vita as one team, and Theo and Kore as their own team within the Order of Magical Resonance which is a group by magic, for magic and of magic. They deal with all sort of odds jobs that involve the misuse of magic, except that they are by no means a legal organization. Their members are without a doubt all rather odd, but they get the job done at least.

TW: dark themes under the cut

Vita Dies

A powerful necromancer, who also happens to be a witch. She’s of an old family that specializes in this craft. A beautiful but deadly woman who practices the art legally and ethically wherever it is permitted. Because witches in TW&TB live longer than normal humans nobody is sure for how long she has been alive. She deeply enjoys being cryptic and teasing towards mortals and mages alike, though for the most part seems to be aligned with the interests of the Order.

Her connection with the Order is shrouded in mystery, though many speculate it has to do with another young mage who joined with her at the time. The boy looks ghoulish and sinister, and seems to be suffering from the effects of a Witch Curse being placed on him. Vita denies being the witch in question. However she does seem to be responsible for the young Undead that follows the ghoulish boy around. It seems that the two were brothers once, but upon his death the older brother asked Vita to revive his by using necromancy. Since the law permits first-grade relatives to make such decisions she agreed to it, because she was impressed by his insistence even after she informed him of the consequences. 

She runs her Undead on auto so they have full consciousness and can make their own decisions. She makes sure to maintain them regularly so their bodies don’t decay or their souls lose their humanity. They are practically indistinguishable from regular humans, which is due thanks to her status as a witch imbuing her with more magic than a regular mage would possess. 

Her mage makes her extremely strong, but she prefers to leave the fighting to her servants. Still if need be, the cursed runes will appear on her body like in the case of any witch and she will not hold back at all. A witch’s power is fearsome after all so she usually uses it only if her servants find themselves overwhelmed.

She also has ties to another young mage whose fiancee she revived after the woman was killed due to a magical beast going haywire. The two have a very tense relationship and rarely come into contact, the only connection between them being the young woman who acts as Vita’s Undead servant.

In this AU she would most likely go by her full name instead, so everybody would call her Iovita.

She is currently in a relationship with the young ghoulish boy who asked to revive his younger brother, and who also happens to be her apprentice. Because a witch’s kiss can temporarily dispel the curse, her lover switches between his human form and his cursed form. She says she prefers his cursed form, because it is more “bewitching”. 

She is usually called in for missions involving necromancy or strong magical opponents. 

She avoids contact with the Paladin Corps since they are the natural enemies of witches.

This is what she would wear in this AU:

Agatha Voisin

A young woman who asked to be the witch Iovita’s apprentice. She is a normal mage in most aspects with a penchant for dangerous alchemical potions and poisons. Very little is known about her life prior to meeting her Mistress but according to her, she’s an orphan whose family was murdered by a witch, so she sought to apprentice under one in order to learn how to kill them. 

She’s rather quiet and contemplative, and her demeanour towards others is very much influenced by Iovita’s own attitude. Though, while she tried being mysterious and confident she comes off as more awkward and aggressive. She especially does not like her fellow apprentice and the witch’s lover, though seems to be get on well with her Undead. 

While, she does not seem to have any talent at necromancy she is quite good at corpse maintenance, being able to stitch together most parts and organs with relative ease. She finds this sort of job fulfilling since she can see to he duties in peace.

She did not plan on getting attached to Iovita in the slightest, but since the witch has always looked after her as her own, she couldn’t help but become soft. She claimed that she took Agatha in because her logic of seeking out a witch master in order to kill another witch amused her greatly, so she agreed to teach the young girl whatever she can learn. That happened when Agatha was barely 14 years old so ever since then she’s considered Iovita her family.

Her magic is quite strong, though she’s terrible at close quarters combat preferring to cast spells from a distance. She usually likes it when they are given jobs that require sleath since she’s good at that.

The witch she’s hunting is a powerful one, who is said to kidnap people and cook them in her cauldron before eating them bones and all. She claims that she witness her family being devoured, before the witch released her saying that “there still needs for time to pass before the meat is tender enough.” Agatha thinks this means that the witch expects her to return and that’s when she’ll finish her off. 

Before meeting Iovita she lived together with another mage who was able to commune with the spirits of the dead. She still calls on him since he’s a very crafty man with many connections who can procure her all sort of objects.

This is what she would wear in this AU:

Diana Arrow

A young Undead under the control of Iovita. She used to be a common mage who was involved in the care and conservation of magical beasts, before one of them went haywire and killed her. Though she was able to receive some care at the hospital her wounds were too severe and she died of blood loss and complications, but not before making a deal with a witch who agreed to bring her back as an Undead. The reason behind her choice, despite knowing that souls resurrected cannot be reborn, is that she wanted to see her fiance one last time and apologize to him. 

She’s a quiet woman and loyal to her witch, carrying out her orders to the letter without a single complaint. Because she’s put on auto she was able to retain her consciousness and original personality, so her connection to her lover was not severed. Like most witch’s Undead she is very capable and skilled and takes care of the physical stuff her Mistress cannot be asked to do. 

Her weapon of choice is a pair of magically infused brass knuckles that have been gifted to her by her Mistress. She’s become rather proficient at handling them due to training sessions with her Mistress’ other Undead servant. 

Her fiance, a fellow mage like her, was horrified to see her brought back from the dead at the cost of her soul entering the Void. It took a long while for them to patch things up again, and it mostly worked because he was also glad to see her return back to him, though he never wants to admit to this since it would mean putting his own selfishness above her soul.

When she’s not away on missions at her witch’s request she looks after magical beasts or spends time with her fiance. He’s a shrewd man who is trying to convince her to abandon Iovita since he believes nothing good can come from associating with her. He’s currently in the possession of a grimoire that offers him witch-like powers in exchange for killing the person dearest to him, so Diana sacrifices herself every time so he can pay the price. Because being a witch’s Undead makes her impervious to death, she resurrects almost immediately every time, though it doesn’t make it easier on him. 

Since she’s a good fighter, she’s able to depose of most enemies before Iovita has to interfere. With beasts she tries to knock them out instead of killing them since she cares deeply for their well-being. 

She hides the fact that she’s an Undead from most people, since few places consider it a legal practice. Though her lover has once proposed that they be Undead together, she rejected the idea. She wants him to be reincarnated and live a peacefully life even if that means they’ll never be able to meet again.

This is what she would wear in this AU:

Theo Yule

A seasoned mage and a long time member of the Order. He joined them in his youth after he ran away from home due to a falling out with his family. He is not a very social man, preferring to keep to his own tasks and matters. It makes him somewhat at odds with the rest of the Order, but since his work has always been exemplary, few find it possible to complain.

He mostly does solo work, handling cases that involve the mishandling of magical artifacts like grimoires and such. As an expert in the field his advice is always sought before people proceed with their investigation. He owns several of them as well, and carries a suitcase around with him when on jobs that contain most of the tools he requires.

He’s very much like a stereotypical noir cop with his alcohol abuse and smoking habit and rudeness, treating others very contemptuously whenever he speaks to them. He seems to have a very particular dislike for rich people and those well off. 

Because of his quite nature and tall stature he intimidates a lot of people. 

In this version he would only go by Theo, forgoing his last name entirely.

He’s been tasked by the Order to look after a young girl with an unusual situation which requires constant monitorization. He was against the idea at first but with time he grew somewhat fond of her. They have become something of a family and though she assists him on his cases he always makes sure to shield her from actual danger and gore. He would prefer it if she lived a normal life, far away from this chaos but given he peculiar condition he knows it’s impossible.

His attachment to the girl has started to make the Order wonder if it came down to it he’d abandon his beliefs and ideals to stand by her side, but even Theo isn’t sure of the truth behind this notion. Though deep down he feels like he would.

This is what he would wear in this AU:

Kore Hightower

A young girl of indeterminate origins who also happens to be a vessel for a witch. Kore can’t remember anything about her life before she was transformed into a human host for and by the creature. According to several sources she might have been part of magical ritual which involved human sacrifice along with the rest of the family, though it is unknown just to what end. She’s been a host for around a year or two it had been estimated, during which she was known as the “Strangling Witch” for the way she would choose to kill her victims. 

She was freed from that control by the Order who unable to extract the essence of the creature from her, decided to keep her under surveillance and make use of her abilities instead. Though the creature has been sealed inside, she still can access some modicum of its power making her a formidable foe to non-witches.

She’s a novice in magic and it does not come easily to her so her guardian decided to teach her some basic spells and self-defense techniques in case of emergencies. She assists him on his cases partly because she wants to feel useful, partly because she wants to atone for her actions while under possession.

Though she can’t remember the period she was under the creature’s control she still feels imense guilt for her actions. Every year she goes to the cemetery where the victims are buried to pay her respects and ask for forgiveness. Because nobody but the Order knows who was behind the killings, people have no idea who she really is and merely see her as a pious girl. She avoids talking with the locals there out of guilt.

During her time as the Strangling Witch she killed around 38 people, though the number is thought to be likely much higher.

Her honest and kind nature makes her get along quite easily with others, though she has trouble getting close to them, since she feels like she doesn’t deserve to be happy or loved after all that she’s done. She’s recently befriended a young and kindhearted man whose rich family hired her guardian to take care of some business relating to magic. The two became fast friends and even perhaps more, but Kore is hesitant to explore that possibility since she doesn’t know if the creature can or cannot take control of her again. The two do keep in contact through phone though and even go on dates together occasionally but have yet to define just what exactly sort of relationship they have.  

She gets along really well with the Undead under the employ of a fellow Order member, though she seems unaware of their true nature. 

This is what she would wear in this AU:

[rokutouxei]

so, baby, tonight just be the death of me

ikemen vampire: temptation in the dark

theodorus van gogh / mc | E | 4616 | [ao3]

warning/tags: creepy guy behavior, jealousy, outdoor sex, oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex, exhibitionism, vampire bite, multiple orgasms, using the lord’s name in vain, and dom behavior. (yes, all of that.)

You jolt. “Wait, what? On the first of May?”

“Yes, seven at night. In the Marquis’ mansion, a big party, several potential clients, the paintings on display,” Theo confirms, checking his notebook. He turns to look up at you. “Why? Did you have something planned? I can go alone.”

You frown. Of course you did! “No, I want to go with you. It’s just—it’s your birthday night, and I thought we could spend some time together.”

“If you go, we can,” he says, a little too matter-of-factly that you flinch.

“Yeah, we will, but we’ll be doing work.” He reaches out to put a hand on your shoulder, and you relax. A little. “I’m just a little disappointed.”

“We can always celebrate afterwards,” Theo says. His hand moves to cup your cheek, and you lean against his touch. “Besides, what matters is that I’m with you. Late or early, it doesn’t make much difference to me.”

Your heart is warm at how he poured his heart out, but you still pout. “It does to me though.”

“Then,” Theo begins, the gears in his mind working, knowing exactly what he needed to do to raise your spirits even a little—“I’m sure you can think of one or two things that’ll make that birthday night interesting, work aside.”

You raise your eyebrow, but grin back when you see him smirking. “Well, if that’s what you want.”

-

Oh, his big fat mouth. Theo cannot say it’s not his fault when it definitely is. He should have known what was coming when he challenged you.

Theo has on a sleek black suit, one step more formal than his usual work clothes. He’d asked you to dress extra nicely, but decided not to interfere with your fashion choices for the night—you’d spent enough time in this era to figure out which both flattered you and matched the tastes of the current age. But he hadn’t expected you to push those boundaries.

You walk down the hallway in a beautiful deep blue gown that skimmed your curves so deliciously. Beautiful intricate blue lace lined along the front. There were even jewels sewn onto the fabric. There’s a beautiful gradient to deep purple at the bottom. It’s long enough for decency, but has a slit high enough that your ankles peep discreetly with every step. It has a beautiful Grecian neckline too, revealing your shoulders, your collarbones—Theo holds in a breath at the thought of leaving very visible marks on them before you even get to the ball. He’s a little thankful for the conservative front of the dress, because even through the fabric, he can nearly feel the plush of your breasts, pushed up wonderfully by your corset.

Oh, Theo can already see all the men he’ll have to glare off of you.

The words slip out of his mouth before he can stop it, something that only happens when he’s already on the edge of your teasing. A bad sign for him, you think to yourself. “You look enticing.”

You grin. “A hundred years into the future this’ll be tighter and have a slit all the way up my thigh.”

Theo licks his lips before he takes your arm in his. “I can’t wait to get there, then.”

-

The thing is, Theo doesn’t need that thigh-high slit to feel hot for you.

It’s the little things—if he were to be honest with you. The way you bite your lower lip when someone says something flattering about you. The way you hide your face with your hands when you’re embarrassed: like you’re not even trying, you little tease. The little squeeze you make against the firm muscle of his forearm when you cling to him. The nearly-imperceptible shiver that runs up your spine when he pulls you close to him defensively. Possessively.

Tonight, it’s all of the above. But not at him.

The host of the party, the Marquis, was one of high social status—he knew lots of big-shot names of not only rich generals and officials but also philanthropists, with much money to spend and eyes for art. Not great eyes, Theo would argue, but definitely a taste for it that he could use to further his agenda with his artists. This made the party very, very important to attend. The both of you had one goal: to make important, useful connections. To convince them, to persuade them, to get them to listen and to believe in this new dawn of art that Theo dreams of seeing. The strategy was simple: charm as many prospective clients as possible, and, as much as possible, secure future meetings and deals.

Theo doesn’t like dealing with women clients, if he were to be honest. He prefers talking to the men because they usually talked straight business, and Theo—while he was good at it—doesn’t really enjoy the little banter the women liked to do around him, skirting around art, complimenting his looks, his attitude, his suit. But the women here know that he came with another woman, and to get you to convince them was a trickier card to play.

That left you to take care of the most important client of the night: the nephew of the great Marquis, Major General Lowell. Unwed, but rumored to have had many children out of wedlock, the Major General was famous for his, say, interest in women, particularly those half his age. And you were definitely at least half his age.

The two of you stand across the room from Theo, a distance away, champagne glasses in hand. Theo can’t hear what the Major General is talking about, but he’s talking animatedly at you. Probably bragging about the spoils of war. Theo can see that you’re hardly listening: just enough to keep conversation flowing. He watches you closely, the way you tip the champagne glass just to press teasingly on your lower lip, the touch of your shoulder against his to respond to a joke.

Anger begins to simmer underneath Theo until you turn to look at him, your eyes filled with heat.

Just for him.

“Sir Theodore,” one of the ladies around him say, calling his attention back. Countess Ysabella. She insisted that he call her Ivy, though, perhaps a nickname from childhood—an effort to create some semblance of familiarity. She’s well-known in events like these, a beauty, someone desirable in high society for her wealth and her smarts. Invested in both the arts and sciences. And in him as well. Boldly, she touches a hand to his chest to call his attention. “Were you listening?”

Theo feels your stare digging into the back of his neck. Well. Two can play at this game.

-

Work, you remind yourself, swirling the champagne in your glass. Work. But you can’t seem to focus. Major General Lowell is still talking non-stop into your ear about the glories of war: his fame, his wealth, his power; the bloody trenches, stepping over corpses—you were almost 100% sure he made up at least half of what he was telling, or had blown it up to a degree that was near unrecognizable. You take another sip of your champagne, turning your head toward Theo, who you’d much rather be with. He’s engaged in conversation with a wealthy-looking woman, in a half-slow dance, her hands on his shoulders, and maybe he’ll reach out and put his hand on—

“A fast drinker. You better take care of yourself, miss, wouldn’t want something to happen to you,” the Major General chides, sliding a hand over your waist. You feel the instinct to tense up, but remind yourself this is work, and relax into his arms.

You cock your head toward him, a teasing smile on your face. He’s too close for comfort, but you have to do it. “Oh, what’s a little liquor. Even a lady such as me is up for a little fun, just like you, sir.”

“You smart ones, so rare. Valuable little treasures. Makes you so much more worth it to find.” You want to gag a little. He releases you (you sigh in relief) just to move in front of you and press a kiss to your knuckles. “However did a beautiful lady such as you end up in this drab party all alone?”

Jackpot.

-

“Oh, I have a beautiful little manor. We can definitely host your exhibits there, if you’d like,” the Countess says. “I would want to see the pieces first, of course, as it is my residence, but oh, I have a ballroom. Of course there’s a ballroom, with beautiful sunlight in the afternoon. It would be a nice place to hold it in.”

“It would be an honor,” Theo says, as politely as he can muster, when really he just wants this to be over. The Countess is lovely, he can’t deny that—quick-witted, has an answer to his every quip, knows what questions to ask to keep the conversation going. That was exactly the problem. She was so good at keeping the conversation going, it wouldn’t end. He could probably get her to agree to host a hundred of his exhibits and she still will not stop trying to talk to him. Why did she have to be so good at this? He turns toward your direction in the ballroom, to find that you’re already pointing at the paintings on the wall. Your eyes sparkle with excitement now, when you talk about art, and Theo can see it. He can also see the Major General’s hand on your waist.

Then, bringing him back to reality, Countess Ysabella presses herself as flush as she can to him, forcing his hand on her hip. “But of course, it’s really still up to your approval, of course. You’re welcome to visit anytime. I’d love to have you over, a cup of tea, maybe dinner.”

Theo nods. “That would be great. I would have to bring my assistant with me, however. If you don’t mind.”

“An assistant!” she gasps. “Oh, to think you’d have another young man so enthusiastic and brilliant at the dealings of art with you. Lovely, just lovely. Bring him over, of course. I would love to hear his thoughts as well.”

Is she just so used to getting whoever she wants?

“A woman, Countess Ivy,” Theo corrects. She jumps at his use of her provided nickname, but also at the revelation. “My assistant is a woman.”

Her face instantly falls. She doesn’t do it quickly, as if she’s hesitating, but Theo feels her slowly distancing herself from him. “Is that so?” she murmurs, mouth a thin line. “Very well, that would be interesting. Still, bring her over. It’d be great to meet her, another woman in the arts. See what she’d made of, if you know what I mean.”

“Very well,” Theo says, bows as she lets go. “Looking forward to business with you, Countess.”

If only she knew she’d never match up to you.

-

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, you sidle up next to Theo at your designated meeting spot with a smile on your face. Your eyes are a little hazy, perhaps from the alcohol. Theo puts on a frown. “Well?”

You raise a hand to reveal a business card between your fingers; then slide them to show you have two. “The Major General and his Lieutenant friend. They promised to buy, but they’d like to talk more about the pieces. You?”

Something flares in Theo, knowing it’s not just the pieces they want a bit of. But that’s for later. “The Countess agreed to hosting a show or two in her manor, but she gets to veto the pieces. Seems interested in art nouveau. We can handle that.”

“We can handle that,” you echo, tucking the business cards into his coat pocket, if an excuse to pull closer to him. “So, let’s get out of here?”

“Yes,” Theo says, breathy. “It’s my turn now.”

-

You expect Theo to hail a carriage as soon as you got out of the fancy mansion, but instead he asks if you’re up for a little walk. You think it’s a little weird—typically, after a night of “associating” with his female clients all he wants is to shut down and rest—but you humor him. The both of you walk down the street in companionable silence.

The streets of France at night is a sight you enjoy seeing. Cobblestone paths lit by orange lamplight, laughter and conversation and music coming out from bars and cafes still open for the night crowd. It must have rained a little, because the stone paths glimmered lightly in the dim light, making the city seem almost dream-like.

You’re just about to bring this up to Theo when you feel his strong grip around your wrist, and he pulls you into a back alley with what seems like all the restrained force he can muster. When he carries you up onto something—a stack of crates—you see his pupils are blown wide. His mouth is on you before you can even react.

The kiss is messy and rushed and searing: a mash of teeth and tongue. It’s like he’s trying to take back something that has been lost to him. Theo groans when you wind a hand into his brown hair; and he snarls when you tug on it. He bites your lower lip before his kisses begin their downward path, the line of your jaw, the column of your neck. When he pauses at the juncture of your shoulder and neck you feel his fangs graze the skin lightly; you moan when he refuses to bite.

“Feeling like admitting I’m a way better lover than Mister Major General?” he asks, forehead pressed against yours. Of course he is, you know that. He doesn’t have to ask. Hell, he probably knows that too. Why’s he even messing with you like this?

You decide to play with him too. “Hmm, can’t be sure yet. He seemed like someone good with his… gun.”

“I’ll show you something better than gun,” he growls. “I’m going to make you cum so hard you’ll regret making me jealous.”

He steals your lips for another burning kiss before he descends, hiding underneath the fluff of your long skirt. The moment he’s out of your sight, the situation finally sinks in: here you are, fucking in the back alley in the middle of a still-awake city! You turn your head both sides to check if anyone’s around, thankful to find both ends of the alley empty. Oh, but you remember that one side—that’s the street where Isaac and Napoleon go to teach the children some afternoons, and Isaac said that morning he was going to tutor some children at night with a girl named Aliza, because she could only go after work, and Napoleon had teased him for it, because—

“Hondje.” Theo’s voice snaps you back to the present. He’s rubbing circles along your inner thighs, and only then do you realize you were tense from all the worry of getting caught. Relax, you can nearly hear him say, as he presses a kiss on the inside of your calf, your thigh. Let go.

You hum in acknowledgement, taking a deep breath, and in a moment, Theo is on you.

You’re already damp where he touches you with his fingers, caressing the outer lips gently like prying open a flower. That slow, gentle torture he reserves from when he really wants to wreck you out of your mind. You buck against his hand and he only laughs, a deep sound coming from the bottom of his throat, as he traces his fang against your inner thigh. Two fingers press against your entrance but don’t enter, just circling. You shudder.

“Theo,” you beg, canting your hips towards his mouth. You try to keep your voice level, quiet enough to hide in this dark alley, but you’re not sure your best is soft enough. “God, just do something. Bite me, touch me, please—”

You feel his tongue graze against the soft bud of your clit and you gasp. His breath is hot and your body is on fire. You feel him smile against your folds before he drags his tongue over you, slowly, near-reverently, like doing this with you is holy. He slips his tongue inside of you like you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever had. A low moan rolls out of you, your fingers bunching in the fabric of your skirt.

Theo’s already gotten the act of going down on you like an art. He knows your every weak spot, knows which strokes you like, which ones make you shake and shudder the most. He uses every bit of information to his advantage. He suckles on your clit until you’re shivering, your slick cold down your legs, then, still not satisfied, slips two of his fingers into you. You lift a hand to your mouth and bite, knowing if you don’t, you would be screaming. He pumps you slowly, fingers curling, trying to find that one spot that—

“Fuck!” The cry rolls out of your mouth when he hits it. Theo emerges from under your skirt, his hand still firmly between your legs. You try to turn away from him but the way he seeks your eyes is something you can’t resist. When you finally make eye contact with him he smirks, his sea-blue eyes darkening with hunger.

Theo moves closer to you, making sure to keep his hand on the right spot, and asks: “Think you can cum on my fingers alone?”

Your ragged breath almost prevents you from speaking, but you have to. You want to. “I can, yes, oh, I can,” you say. “I can, but I don’t— I want—”

He nibbles on the shell of your ear. “Want what?”

“Theo!” you say, trying to sound angry at his meanness. But you only sound desperate. Theo presses harder against you, the palm of his hand heavy against your clit. You feel electric. You decide to surrender. “Want to cum on your mouth, please.”

He’s on his knees again. You swear his mouth is magic: everywhere it touches feels set on fire. He rolls your clit with his tongue, teasing, timing it with the pump of his fingers inside you—he listens to you sing. Half-praises, half-curses, the strained vowels of his name. Then finally he pulls your clit between his lips. Harshly. You let out a cry that goes straight to his cock.

He calls out your name, groaning, with his face still between your already-shaking thighs—then he says, an order, a command—“Cum.”

So you do. The rest of the city disappears: there’s only Theo and you in this little universe. You orgasm so hard any semblance of voice control you have on you melts into thin air, forcing Theo to scramble up and press a hand on your open mouth. It smells like you. Your insides pulse against his intruding fingers for what seems like forever. Your vision spins, head lolled back upwards. You see the endless night sky hovering above. Theo always makes you feel like you own the world.

-

Theo hears the passersby long before they cross the small alley. Your dress is now unceremoniously popped open, corset out of the way; he’s fucking you from behind with your once-fixed-up hair twined in his fists, a mumble of “ah ah ah” falling out of your lips with every thrust. The both of you aren’t too close to the adjoining streets, but the low lamplight would make the both of you a tad visible if someone passing by tried hard enough to look. The footsteps get closer; he hears the sound of a woman’s laughter. He pulls your head up by your hair, then covers your mouth with his hand.

You make a sound of confusion, and Theo shushes you. You strain your ears until you finally hear it too: the sound of a couple walking by, maybe for a late night romp. Why does that voice seem awfully familiar…

Theo whispers against your ear: “You’ll have to be quiet if you don’t want to get caught.”

Then, remorselessly, he begins thrusting up against you once more. You think you might be able to do what he asked pretty easily, but the new angle let him reach way deeper, that spot that makes your knees weak. And it felt good. Your knees buckle with the pleasure and Theo has to hold you up by the waist so you don’t collapse. You try to trap your cry in your throat but it comes out as a shuddering sigh into his hand.

Theo chuckles, a low sound that sends fire down your belly. Theo’s not usually one for dirty talk, not this much, but today feels like a whole different timeline altogether anyway, fucking in a back alley. He continues to aggravate you, whispering, “You got tight. You like this, don’t you? That we might get caught. Maybe you want to get caught.”

You sigh softly into his hand but he’s relentless. The footsteps get closer. In a few more seconds you might just hear their conversation. The girl is questioning why the hell her partner is at a bar if, out of everything he could order, he drinks coffee. Wait—

Theo grins into your shoulder. “Don’t let Arthur hear you.”

Before the realization even hits, Theo snakes his hand on your waist downward until his fingers rest on your clit, circling. Your eyes suddenly focus, laser-sharp, to the shadows crossing the alley.

Arthur laughs, that flirty laugh he’s long perfected. “Oh, my dear Roxy, my luv. I don’t want to leave a bad expression on beautiful ladies like you, you know? Alcohol, they make men sloppy.”

Theo squeezes your clit. You shiver and nearly cry at the effort of not making a sound. You buck your hips backward toward his hand.

“You certainly know your way around then,” the girl says. Her voice has that low dip that sounds hungry. You’d know what that sounds like. “Experienced lovers are a delight.”

Theo slumps his head on your shoulder and shakily sighs, the sigh he makes when he’s close to the end. God, can’t Arthur just walk any faster?

“Yes, they certainly—” Arthur turns his head to the alley, and you duck your head down, praying you’re out of the light. Your heart is pounding so hard in your chest and in your ears and everywhere you don’t know if it’s from the sex or from the fear or excitement or all. “They certainly are,” Arthur finally says after a brief pause, wrapping an arm around the girl’s waist. “They’re the ones with the most surprises.”

As their footsteps slowly disappear to the distance (you half-mindedly remember there’s an inn down the road) Theo returns to work full force. His hand on your clit, one on your mouth, his cock deep inside you. Bite, you want to tell, bite me, please, but without your voice—

You sink your blunt teeth into the skin of his fingers, and Theo instantly understands. Face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, you hear him moan likely in relief as he finally sinks his fangs into your skin. The pain sears but it is gone in a moment, and then suddenly, there is only the white-hot of pleasure. It takes mere seconds for you to collapse, dizzy from his teasing and the tension of nearly getting caught pushing you right over the end. Your moan is muffled into Theo’s warm hand as you go rigid then limp into his arms, your cheek pressing into the damp wood of the crates.

Theo laughs, a deep rumble full of pride. He is still inside you, reveling in your post-orgasm pulsing. He massages gentle circles on the small of your back. “I can’t believe you actually enjoyed that.”

You huff, a little laugh through your nose. “I thought I would die,” you admit. “You are ruthless.”

“And you love it.” He brushes away your hair and presses kisses down the nape of your neck until your breathing evens out a little bit. “Think you can take a bit more?”

“Yes, please,” you say, your voice faltering at the end when Theo moves to hits that spot you love once more. “Oh, fuck, come on, Theo, cum.”

That’s all the permission he needs. His hand returns to your hair, tugging sharply, as his thrusts become messier, harder. Your insides, your thighs, your hands, your entire body is still sensitive and everything feels too much. You sob desperately as you stutter out his name between each thrust; “Shit!” he growls,  his fingers grasping at your hips so hard you’re sure they’re bruised. He nuzzles the crook of your neck, fangs just gently scraping, not enough for the skin to break. You feel the mess dripping down your thighs.

“Christ, Theo,” you start to say, but then he flips you over and kisses you softly, like you’re the first flower of spring, as if he hadn’t just fucked your brains into goo—and the words disappear from your mouth.

-

The two of you hailed a carriage and spent the ride home in silence. As much silence as “still hearing your heart pound through your ears” could be. Theo had one hand on your thigh and you leaned against his shoulder until you got back to the mansion.

You’re about to turn the corridor to head off to your room to rest, mouth open to tell Theo goodnight, when once again he catches you by the wrist.

“You think I’m done with you tonight?”

-

You wonder if you were ever going to get used to this, his lips on yours, his hand on your thigh. Your hand in his hair, your tongue in his mouth. The both of you hadn’t even bothered to turn on the light—just crashed on the bed in a mess of limbs, Theo hurriedly disassembling his perfectly-worn suit. You felt a little bad (because you sure enjoyed the sight) but the sight of his flushed skin sure was a little treat. He’d helped you out of your dress too, cloth fluttering to the ground, accessories haphazardly hanging on the edge of the bedside table. Now, there was a little tent in his pants and there was no hiding how wet you are through your thin underwear.

“You were doing it on purpose, weren’t you?” Theo asks against your throat, voice muffled. One hand of his has snaked up your side, cupping the curve of your waist. The same side Major General Lowell had placed his hand on you much earlier that night—so far back it felt like centuries.

You want to tease him a little for being jealous, but you figured you’d had enough fun for today. He freezes a little when he feels you brush his messy bangs aside and press a kiss against his forehead. “Just to rile you up. You know there’s no one else I’d want, Theo.”

Instead of words, he answers by grazing his lips against your neck again, the sensation making you shiver. When he reaches the part where he’d bitten you earlier, he presses a kiss on it. It’s the same as him telling you I love you.

You turn and take his face in your hands. “Happy Birthday, Theo,” you say, sneaking a kiss to his nose before flipping him over and straddling his waist, hands already on the hem of his pants. You remember the Countess’ hands all over him at the party.

Time to get revenge.

[dwordza]

Fuck it, lets be gods

Dream: God of Mystery. Controls the enigmas of the mortal realm. Ironically, has close to no power in the pantheon, and is Extremely pissed about it. Minor God of Control, Power, and Thieving. If you and/or a loved one has recently found one of your most prized possessions stolen, there’s a chance the Mystery God has found himself a new plate of meat to play with. Tread with caution, and keep your enemies close. No one likes the God of Mystery.

Schlatt: God of Secrecy. Every whisper you share, he hears. Frequently visits those having affairs, just to fuck with them. Also visits those suffering from addiction. Minor God of alcohol, drug usage, and rams. If you feel as though you’ve become something no one forgives, it’s likely the Secret God has touched your soul with bile. Be not afraid when you die, he welcomes all with a smile and a swig of whiskey.

Techno: God of Trust. Be mindful to never use those around you, he will tear you in twine. Aside from being a God, he also acts as a servant for the Angel. Minor God of loyalty, war, and revenge. The servant of blood is not to be fooled with. A savage beast born from mans greatest ailment: his own dishonesty. Do not lie to a pig, for they will never find your corpse.

Philza: God of Creation. All mountains and streams are made of the same gods tears. Those who follow the Creator are forever under his control, and even in death do they serve him. The Angel of Death, the Blood God, the destructor. Atoms cannot be destroyed or created, and you must get your building blocks from somewhere. Minor God of birds, death, and dreams. Those who hope are often imbued with the spirit of the Blood God. But do not try to escape his afterlife, he’s a firm believer in “You Only Live Once”.

Ranboo: God of Duality. The cost of silken fists is a broken memory. An eye for an eye is what the Dual God lives by, forever in a constant battle with himself. He’s haunted by apparitions of the Mystery God, cursed to have sacred hymns whispered into his psyche. Those touched by his careful hand frequently forget their names. Wrote the 3 Great Tomes, but lost 2. Minor God of memory, cats, and the Sky.

Wilbur: God of Possession. He has his things and you have yours, keep it that way. Those touched by his demanding grasp often hoard and steal. He is defiant towards the pantheon, cast out by his own Father and cursed to roam the earth as a wandering Bard. Minor God of music, explosives, and performance. Any performer or star wears a pendant of the Possessive God on their neck, for good luck. His unfinished symphony lives on in the demigods he raised, and in a siren mistress.

Tommy: Demi-god of Attachment. Before Tommy, the world was very bleak. Only the gods felt connections, and from the Creation God bore a human child capable of caring. He sent him down to be raised by his eldest son, the Possessive God, and to be brought into his godhood by age 16. This did not go as planned. The Possessive God disappeared without a trace, and the Mystery God took Tommy under his wing. Tommy has been cloaked by Mystery, and left to fend for himself with no friends in sight.

Tubbo: Demi-god of Devotion. Tubbo met a lone boy in the forest, and climbed a rickety tower to where a demigod reached for his home. Together they’ve become great soldiers and best friends, working with others to fight back against the tyrants who wish to hurt them. Visited by the Servant of Blood and brought to their knees by the Mystery God, they only wish to find peace alone with themselves. Tubbo has visions of a Secret God, a goat man who leads him to make decisions to favor the very gods he wishes to know. The God of Creation shows distance towards his children, but to Tubbo the most.

Fundy: Demi-god of Trickery. Cursed into a fox body with the brain of a genius, Fundy wanders the mortal world searching for someone who will simply listen to him. Luckily, with the help of the Dual God, Fundy found himself to be a bipedal beast with glowing eyes and great, sharp teeth. He now serves the Dual God and keeps his many tomes in pristine order. Though sometimes, when the Gods sleep and the town dreams, he stares into the sky and longs to find his lost family. Fundy has lately been seen drinking with a man people can only describe as “severely intoxicated, like really man go home.”

Quackity: Bard of Corruption. A humble butcher hellbent on murdering the Servant of Blood, Quackity uses his supernatural qualities to morph his face into another. He frequently takes the mask of the Mystery God, and finds himself the owner of much land simply because he resembles a God. He mocks the Gods, too, creating personas that dirty the Gods names and create propaganda about their intentions. Quackity is very intuitive, extremely smart, and with enough cockiness about him that he can serenade even the coldest hearts with his lovely music. He sold his butcher shop and took himself and his good friend Sapnap on a great journey to find a God willing to fund their operation. And they did.

Karl: God of Prevention. Karl has traveled through time and space trying to stop the terrible things he’s seen, and he’s failed every time he’s tried. Minor God of dance, wealth, and the arts. Karl was so close to resetting again, when a wild bard and an AWOL knight begged him for funding. He... he couldn’t turn them away. He found himself enamored with their jokes and the way they danced around his temple, chasing each other with sticks and small daggers. Karl, for the first time in his eons of living, danced. This timeline wasn’t like the others. In the others, his Bard died. In others, his Knight never left the castle. In the others, he never swung in their embrace and asked them to stay forevermore.

Sapnap: a once loyal knight turned to murder and thieving, Sapnap is a force to be reckoned with. He once dueled the Servant of Blood himself, and would’ve won had it not been for the Servants second wind. For his good fight, the Servant rewarded him with the Axe of Peace, a enchanted weapon created from the Servants very soul. Sapnap sold it to a wandering soldier boy dubbed ‘Theseus’. He followed his fellow Quackity to the temple of Suspension, where they found a lonesome God on the brink of madness. He’s now engaged to said God, along with Quackity, and ferrying him around the world, showing him everything he’s missed cooped up in that temple.

Jack Manifold: The man who escaped the labyrinth, Jack Manifold is as shifty as they come. He was slaughtered by Tommy, and hellbent on revenge he tore his way out of the Creation Gods labyrinth, and started his hunt. Cursed with a capped chain and a broken spirit, even the Servant shakes when he sees Jack Manifold. He’s recently joined the Blood Gods temple, and his triumph in his labyrinth gave him a great deal of leverage. The Blood God himself has given him protection, bidding him to find and kill his youngest son. Jack Manifold plans to do just that, and he’s not going to stop there.

Niki: Niki Nihachu is a woman of great power, protected by the Possessive God and close ally to the Servant. She left her home in ruins and burned the great tree which she had grown to hate, calling upon the Possessive Gods sacred soul to grant her the power of explosion. And grant he did. She now finds herself working with one Jack Manifold and, with the help of the Servant, she’s found the location of the Demi-god Tommy. She plans to assassinate him, becoming the true heiress to the Possessive Gods thrown in the pantheon. She’s had great success, as of late.

Note: in this AU Tommy is one of philzas children, but in a “I created you from nothing” type beat. Tommy isn’t his Blood son, but instead a ball of magic melded into human shape by the Angel. Philza then sent Tommy away to be raised by Wilbur. I came up with this AU when Tommy was still assumed to be Philzas son in canon, and it fits the story well so I’m not gonna change it. Just know: philza is not a “bad dad”, he’s a really cool god who got bored and created a funny little demigod to go and cause problems. He also respectfully bid Jack Manifold, among others, to hunt down his creation bc he’s a Girlboss in this AU lmao.