#Team ZIT ghostbusters AU

[rayveewrites]

Ray Hijacks the Team ZIT Ghostbuster AU Again

So @shadeswift99 made a few posts a while ago about a Team ZIT(S) ghostbuster AU, And then I may or may not have hijacked the post to add in ideas for most of the other hermits because why not.

Now, back then I was spitballing ideas and making them up on the spot, which is admittedly my usual writing process, but hey.

That said, I've had more time to think about it, and then last night I blacked out for a few hours and came to with a Google Doc filled with short bios for all of the hermits and a handful of hermit-adjacents. Now, this rapidly turned into an urban fantasy AU in my hands, but hey. It's fun.

This is in alphabetical order, with alternate personas (EX, Helsknight, Beetlejhost) beneath their original counterparts when applicable:

Bdubs

Lives in an old mansion in the woods alongside Doc for reasons known only to them. Bdubs works as an interior designer, with a side gig as a freelance hairdresser. His eyes are unnaturally large, similar to Keralis’, and he is at least partially a plant. Completely feral and frequently gets in trouble for having knives on him at all times. He and Cleo have a thing called Knife Club which makes everyone else nervous. Nobody messes with Knife Club. It’s not worth it. Sunbathes frequently.

Beef

Is a perfectly normal human being. He works as a butcher with a side gig as a graphic designer specializing in album covers and spends his free time playing pokemon and dragging Etho along to social events. He was the first person to spot the cryptid, and the first person who Etho approached of his own accord.

Biffa

Is a ghost possessing a robotic shell. Biffa is from the future. While initially his main goal was to get back home to his own time, Biffa has since made friends and settled down into a new life running a cafe specializing in a wide range of teas. He’s quite content with this, and has actually found himself far happier than he was in his own time. While his nature means he can see, hear and touch ghosts, his body was built specifically for a disembodied soul to be in the driver’s seat, and he doesn’t want to risk another taking control. Also, he has more important things to do than have fistfights with ghosts.

Cleo

Is a ghost possessing her own dead corpse. Her nature allows her to see, hear and touch ghosts. Can and will fistfight spirits. She works as a teacher, so she’s usually busy, but occasionally in really nasty situations the Beetlejhost will drag her in to break a ghost’s legs. Does sculpture in her free time, and is actually really good. The only one who can wrangle Beetle to any real capacity, and she’s learned to keep him on a fairly short leash. Housemates with Joe, and Keralis also pops in pretty frequently. Has Knife Club with Bdubs. Has an enchanted flower crown that prevents her from decaying further; a gift from Beetle. Recently started learning magic in the form of necromancy and illusions. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Zloy, in which she temporarily traps his soul in random inanimate objects every now and then.

Cub

A bit of a ‘mad scientist’ archetype, Cub’s experiments are not exactly the most ethical, though they’re at least more professional than Doc’s. Responsible for the creation of Jevin. Cub gets possessed stupidly easily- sometimes willingly- and can usually handle it himself but sometimes has to call for help. Has a magical method of communication with Scar for exactly this reason. Has a day job as co-owner of a business called ConCorp, which he started with Scar. Has probably broken the Geneva Convention.

Doc

Was presumably human at one point. Now an abomination. Repeated experiments on himself have resulted in a massively changed facial and foot structure, a body covered in mottled green scales, claws, and goat horns. He lost half his face in one of his experiments, and constructed a new cybernetic one. He lost his right arm fighting God. Killed said god and would do it again. Lives in a mansion in the woods with Bdubs, though nobody’s really sure why. Owns a casino because of course he does. Also a living crime against fashion, because the man refuses to wear anything other than his tattered lab coat, torn jeans, and crocs.

Ely

Runs the local radio station. Nobody’s ever seen him in person, and nobody knows where he gets people’s voice clips for his remixes. Probably a cryptid. Maybe a ghost. Seems pretty chill, despite the blatant invasions of privacy.

Etho

Is a cryptid. Lives out in the woods in an abomination that can barely be called a house. Has never been seen in anything other than full Kakashi cosplay. Tends to keep to himself, but occasionally lets Beef drag him along to social events, often with Doc and Bdubs. Nobody really knows what his deal is. Probably not human. Probably.

False

Used to be part of an illegal underground cage fighting ring, until she earned enough to buy her way out. Having grown up in said ring, she struggles to adjust to normal life, but living in a town where the barista is a robot and the local tailor has wings makes it easier. She now has a job as security at Doc’s casino, alongside Iskall.

Grian

Is either an angel or a demigod, but nobody knows which. Has wings. Is both a tailor and an architect. A complete gremlin who has elaborate masks of various birds and will wear them to commit crimes. Eats seeds. Messes with everyone else’s plants. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats. Volunteers at the local theatre.

Hypno

Has three eyes, but hides the third one under a bandanna at all times. Can see ghosts with it. Had problems with sections of plumbing randomly getting clogged and also making very weird noises, and eventually called Team ZIT when the plumbers couldn’t find the source. Was prepared for ghosts, but wound up with a slime creature instead. Works in a $2 store for some reason.

Impulse

Is fully human. The most sensible member of Team ZIT (which admittedly isn’t saying much), Impulse has a day job as a freelancer building custom PCs and fixing broken tech. Agreed to the whole ghostbusting deal because he was bored, mostly. Was the first one to meet Skizz face-to-face, and is the one to own that particular place outright. Gets possessed every now and then, usually by larger spirits. Used to run solely on caffeine and chronic anxiety until Zedaph started getting on his case about his sleep schedule. Now he runs on less caffeine, more sleep, and the same amount of chronic anxiety.

Iskall

Was part of a cloning experiment to create the ultimate hitman, and was the only known one to both survive and escape before the whole thing was shut down by the authorities. Their eye and arm were replaced with cybernetics in order to increase their already enhanced abilities, and they were chased by said authorities, eventually winding up on Mumbo’s doorstep and becoming Mumbo’s problem. Now works as security at Doc’s casino, alongside False. Lives at Jungle Wood flats. Occasionally volunteers at the local theatre. Does bonsai as a hobby.

Jevin

Is the slime creature in the pipes. Hypno lets him live with him under the condition he stops blocking the plumbing and making weird noises at 3 AM (Jevin still blocks the plumbing and makes weird noises at 3 AM, just not as much as he was). Has taught himself to take a humanoid shape, and likes having fingers. Sleeps in the bathtub because he can. Was created from a vat of chemicals in a secret lab underneath the house, which used to be owned by Cub. Doesn’t really talk to the man in question that much, but will occasionally refer to Cub as his father for the sole reason of watching him go through eight existential crises in three minutes. Has a glock.

Joe

Head librarian at the local public library, and has read a lot of books on Supernatural Things. Is a veritable fountain of exposition if you can figure out what he’s saying or have Cleo along with you to threaten the integrity of his shins. Has never been seen in the same place as the Beetlejhost. Are they the same person? Are they entirely separate beings? Is there a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde-type situation going on? Who knows!

Beetlejhost

Literally nobody really knows what his deal is. Nobody. Team ZIT ran into him on a call that they expected to be a false alarm and then he decided to follow them home. Spends most of his time being a minor nuisance in the most bizarre ways possible. Is implied to be responsible for the Ever Given getting lodged in the Suez Canal, but never confirmed. When he’s not bothering Team ZIT or getting them out of tight spots, he’s usually pestering Cleo, the only one who can keep him in line. It’s not really known if he and Cleo have a history or if they’re just Like That.

Keralis

Is a ghost haunting an architecture firm, and is mostly bound to the building, though he can travel to other buildings the firm has built, which is, uh, most of them. Initially only able to do small things- mostly writing notes or drawing diagrams- he eventually meets the Beetlejhost when the latter follows Mumbo to work one day for shits and giggles (he wanted to see how long he could mess with Mumbo before the man noticed. As it turned out, about a week, and by the end it was Iskall who noticed). After a couple of days in which Beetle teaches Keralis Ghost Things™, he scares half the office when he finally manifests for the first time. Has unnaturally large eyes and nicknames for most of the workers. Has no idea how he died or what his unfinished business might be. Very knowledgeable about architecture, and his input is usually very much appreciated.

Mumbo

Is a perfectly normal human being who does IT at Keralis’ architecture firm. Lives at Jungle Wood flats and spends most of his free time tinkering with tech and trying to keep Grian and Iskall out of trouble, which is a losing battle. Has a large, beating golden heart in his flat. He’s not really sure what its deal is, but if he feeds it apples it produces enough power for the entire building. Oh, and if he forgets to feed it for an extended period of time it starts draining his bank account. It’s really weird.

Pixlriffs

Was a perfectly normal human being until he died protecting a certain Russian zombie and became a perfectly normal ghost. Was a reporter in life and is a reporter in death. Runs a blog alongside Zloy about the local goings-on, supernatural or not. The blog’s the type where unless you live in/near the town you most likely won’t stumble across it, but they do have a small following of outsiders who assume the blog’s just a work of fiction. His unfinished business is to prevent Zloy from doing anything particularly stupid, a constant battle. Is able to go more places than Zloy due to being incorporeal, but respects people’s privacy. He’s bound to Zloy to a certain degree, not being able to go beyond a certain range of his friend. The range is pretty big, though, and he has plenty freedom of movement.

Python

Had a run-in with the fae as a kid, in which he accidentally pissed one off. In retribution, the faerie challenged him to answer a riddle or he’d be turned into a snake. Python’s answer was partially correct, so the faerie only transformed him partially. Python is fairly chill, though he strongly dislikes the cold and starts hissing if anyone disturbs him during Sun Time™. Sometimes Bdubs, being partially flora, joins Python for Sun Time™. He’s not venomous, because, you know...python. Also, he has a mildly disturbing habit of strangling rats and mice and then eating them whole, but he can’t help it and just tries not to do so when he has company.

Ren

Is a werewolf. He’s pretty chill regardless of form, though it’s only been recently he’s been comfortable enough leaving his ears and tail visible. He works as a lumberjack. One time Pixl introduced him to Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song and it quickly became his favourite thing. He spends most of his free time volunteering at the local theatre because Ren is absolutely a theatre kid and nobody can convince me otherwise. Gets possessed every now and then. Lives in Jungle Wood flats.

Scar

Works as a landscape developer. Gets possessed absurdly easily, though not quite as frequently as Cub. Has a magical method of communication with him. Technically co-owns ConCorp, but isn’t as involved. His cat, Jellie, is very obviously an eldritch abomination in feline form and he is comedically unaware of this. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats with Grian, Iskall, Mumbo, Stress, and Ren.

Skizz

Is the ghost haunting Team ZIT’s office. He was murdered by someone he’d thought was a friend who was trying to use his place to hide from the cops, and he’s stuck around, haunting the building. His unfinished business is to make sure nobody else uses the building for anyone shady, but the ghost rumours tended to chase most people off. Eventually he gets used to having Team ZIT around, and when Tango admits he doesn’t really have anywhere to go one day, Skizz eventually makes the decision to finally unlock the still-furnished upper floor for him. He’s bound to the building, but Impulse learns that carrying Skizz’s old vest with them allows him to leave. After that, Skizz sometimes accompanies them on missions and occasionally just hanging out. He’s usually more helpful than the Beetlejhost is.

Stress

Is a witch. Stress lives in Jungle Wood Flats and works as a doctor who specializes in supernaturally caused injuries- Team ZIT are some of her best customers. She also sells magic potions of various kinds, and has a side gig as a florist. She’s 90% of the Jungle inhabitants’ impulse control. Also has cryokinesis.

Tango

The Team ZIT member with a car. He gets possessed with frankly ridiculous frequency, but claims not to believe in ghosts for a long time (and keeps up the bit for even longer). Has developed various signals to indicate when he’s being possessed again. The strongest one, a rather nasty demon Cleo and the Beetlejhost had to team up on, left him with his glowing red eyes. He didn’t really have anywhere to go before Impulse bought the office, and tended to sleep on the couch or in his car until Skizz decided to let him into the upper floor, where he now lives alongside Zedaph and Impulse.

TFC

A now-retired ghostbuster, TFC calls in Team ZIT one night when he finds himself in over his head against a ghost with a grudge. He winds up becoming a bit of a mentor figure to the trio, usually coaching them over the phone if they’re not sure how to deal with one of the stranger spirits. Lost his leg years ago in a fight with a poltergeist that could have gone better, and now has a robotic prosthetic made by Doc.

Wels

While Team ZIT was out investigating some rumour or another in the woods, they came across a large stone box. Following video game logic, I guess, they then decided opening this large stone box sounded like a fun idea. Well, Tango and Zedaph did. Impulse was a bit more hesitant. The box actually held a medieval knight who’d been put in an enchanted sleep for centuries by his demonic doppelgänger, and was very much not prepared for modern life. Team ZIT took him to Xisuma, who happened to live closest, and Wels is currently helping out on the farm and trying to adjust to life in the 21st century. He can understand and speak modern English just fine because magic. Volunteers at the local theatre quite a lot.

Hels

Is Wels’ doppelgänger. Technically a minor demon. Won a fight with Wels and sealed him away for centuries as a result. A recurring problem. His real motivation is that he really desperately doesn’t want to go back to Hell, but he’s too proud to admit it. Lives in the woods with EX, who’s basically his only friend, though the weirdo with the brown cardigan keeps pestering him about his backstory and feelings for some reason. Has minor pyrokinesis.

XB

Like Biffa, XB is also a ghost from the future, though it seems to be a different timeline than Biffa’s. His unfinished business is preventing the apocalypse, but he has no idea how to do that, no idea if he’s in the right timeline, and is pretty sure he’s gone back a lot farther than he probably should’ve. Also, there’s the whole paradox issue, where if he prevents the apocalypse he never has a reason to go back and prevent the apocalypse, so he doesn’t prevent the apocalypse, so he has to go back and- he tries not to think about it too much. He mostly just hangs out in an abandoned house on the edge of town and vibes.

Xisuma

Is a beekeeper. Nobody’s ever seen his face; when he’s not in his beekeeping outfit, he’s either wearing a helmet, or (more recently) an extremely lifelike and detailed animal mask (is it a mask?). Actually a shapeshifting alien, he crashed down to Earth after a scuffle with his evil clone and was stranded because Earth doesn’t have the right tools or resources to repair a spaceship. These days he’s actually found he’s happier tending to his bees, selling honey, and helping his friends out, and probably wouldn’t leave Earth even if he could. It’s a simpler life, but a pleasant one. He bonds with Biffa over a shared love of tea and being stranded in a technologically inferior world and finding a home.

Evil Xisuma

Is Xisuma’s clone. Feels that if everyone’s going to call him ‘Evil’ he may as well own it. Shot his original’s spaceship down in a scuffle but wound up being brought down with him. Currently hides in the woods. Generally more of a minor nuisance than an actual danger. Used to spend his free time bothering X but has gotten put off by Wels, who has a problem when it comes to evil clones. His friends consist of Hels, who is a terrible role model, and Zedaph, who’s trying to help him work through his problems behind everyone’s backs. Can summon lightning because he deserves it.

Zedaph

Is the reason Team ZIT is ghostbusting in the first place. He’s a sheep shearer by trade, but that’s a fairly seasonal thing and ghostbusting is more fun anyway. Has somehow never been possessed, and claims it’s because he’s always standing next to Tango. He makes sure the other two gets enough sleep Because we all know they can’t be trusted to do it. Probably has some sort of really bizarre and situational magical powers he is thoroughly unaware of. Qualified to be a licensed therapist. Made friends with Evil X at one point, somehow.

Zloy

Like Cleo, he’s a ghost possessing a corpse. Unlike Cleo, there’s a good chance it’s not his corpse. Eh, it’s not like anyone else was using it. Runs a blog with Pixl, because why not. Was already a zombie when he met Pixl, who was still alive at the time. His body is a bit more decayed than Cleo’s, but it’s fine. His goggles are enchanted with the same preservation spell; it’s not really ever explained where he got them from. Has no regard for privacy but is fortunately unable to turn invisible or phase through walls due to inhabiting a physical body. Both can theoretically physically fight ghosts and has enough time to physically fight ghosts, meaning he would be a valuable ally if he could be bothered. Lives in a graveyard. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Cleo, in which he puts jabs at her on the blog. Once spent a week as a (very sarcastic) floating potato.

Hermiton

Is the name of the place they all live in/near. Located in an ambiguous location in an ambiguous country, Hermiton is technically large enough to be considered a city but has Town VibesTM. Supernatural going-ons are a fairly normal part of life, and a good number of inhabitants aren’t humans. Despite this, the wider world seems mostly ignorant of the existence of ghosts, magic, etc. I’m not too sure about geography, but it’s surrounded by forest in most directions and in a warm enough climate to not have snow in the winter (so Python doesn’t, you know, freeze to death). Most people don’t tend to bat an eyelid at strange-looking people walking down the street or serving them at the store; they’re used to it by now. There are several theories as to why Hermiton specifically has so much going on when it comes to the supernatural- ley lines, secretly the resting place of some long-forgotten god, et cetera- but it’s actually more of a case of ‘people who have supernatural traits hear rumours of a place where a lot of people have supernatural traits and go there in search of answers/a place to belong’. This doesn’t exactly explain where all the ghosts came from, but hey. Nothing’s perfect.

[rayveewrites]

Okay I love this so much but I can't help but think about how everyone else would fit in and then this got really long so hippety hoppity here we goooo:

-Cleo is a ghost possessing her own corpse. She doesn't know how it happened, nobody knows how it happened, but she Just Is. Her body has stopped rotting thanks to a magical amulet the Bettlejhost gave her (why he had that, nobody knows). The amulet also lets her disguise herself as a Normal Human Being. She tries not to think about how the biology works too much, because she's pretty sure it doesn't.

-Because of this, she can both see and touch more traditional ghosts. This comes in useful whenever Team ZIT are genuinely over their heads and they need to physically threaten the being in question.

-Cleo still has a day job as a teacher, so she can't help out too often though.

-One time Team ZIT got a call out to a somewhat run-down house. The single inhabitant- Hypno- explained the plumbing was making abnormal noises in the middle of the night. And no, the plumber couldn't figure out what was wrong, he'd already tried that. After several shenanigans, they found a secret abandoned lab in the basement, and eventually wound up with a sapient slime monster in the bathtub. Hypno offers to let the slime monster- Jevin- stay with him, on the condition he stops making disturbing noises in the middle of the night.

-The house and lab turns out to have once belonged to a scientist named Cub. When confronted, Cub genuinely didn't know Jevin existed.

Zedaph: How do you not know that you created a living being? You're basically his father!

Cub: Well it's not like I gave birth to him!

Jevin: Not sure I'm liking the implications there.

-Also Hypno has three eyes. This is mentioned exactly once and never comes up again.

-Grian, Mumbo, Iskall, Ren, Stress and Scar all live in the same apartment building.

-Stress is a doctor who specializes in supernatural injuries. Team ZIT are her best customers.

-Mumbo is Literally Just Some Guy. He does, however, have a beating golden heart in his apartment. He has no idea what to do with it, but it takes offerings and works as an electrical generator???

-Iskall was part of a cloning experiment to create the ultimate hitman (a la Agent 47 from hitman)- hence the robot eye and arm. They managed to escape the facility and somehow wound up on Mumbo's doorstep one day, becoming Mumbo's problem.

-Ren's a werewolf. Just, a very chill werewolf who acts more like an intelligent dog than anything else. Wouldn't hurt a fly (unless that fly hurts one of his friends).

-Grian is... probably a demigod? Nobody's really sure, least of all him. He has wings and a tendency to mess with other people's potted plants.

-Scar is also just Some Guy, but he gets possessed almost as often as Tango does.

-Jellie is very obviously an eldritch abomination but everyone keeps comedically just barely missing any evidence of it. Especially Scar. He's absolutely clueless.

-Cub gets possessed fairly often too, but he can usually deal with it just fine on his own. Of course, sometimes it gets to be too much for him to handle, and he has to call for help. He and Scar have a system set up.

-xB is a ghost. He's also from the future. His unfinished business? Preventing the apocalypse. The problem? He has no idea how. He doesn't even know if this is the right timeline! He spends his time vibing, helping newly-made ghosts adjust, and occasionally aiding the living.

-Keralis is also a ghost! He haunts an architecture firm, and has a habit of spontaneously manifesting and giving tips, suggestions and constructive criticism. How long has he been there? How did he die? Why are his eyes so big? Unclear! But his advice is always sound. Scares the bejeezus out of new hires though.

-There's a creepy mansion in the middle of the woods. A call comes in about it. Turns out there's no ghosts! But there is a goat. Man. Man with goat horns. And green scales. Who's also a cyborg. Hi, Doc!

-And his housemate, Bdubs, who gets along well with Keralis! They're unnaturally-large-eye buddies!

-Also, Bdubs may or may not secretly be a plant.

-Beef is literally just Some Guy. He's a butcher who has a side gig as a visual designer specializing in album covers. That said, he keeps catching glimpses of a strange figure out in the woods...

-Xisuma also sees that strange figure sometimes. He's a beekeeper, and when he's not wearing his beekeeping outfit, he's wearing an elaborate, highly detailed mask in the shape of a bee's head (is that a mask?). He may or may not be an alien.

-When both Doc and Bdubs also mention the figure, Team ZIT figure they have a pretty good case that there's something out there. They're right. Now they have to figure out what the deal is with Etho Slab, the grown man who lurks in the woods and is never seen wearing any outfit other than an elaborate Kakashi cosplay.

-Also whatever the Hels is going on with Etho's house. Why is it like that.

-Speaking of which: one time when Team ZIT were exploring the woods, they found a large stone box. Following the obvious course of action, they decided to open the box (well, Zed and Tango did. Impulse tried to talk them out of it). Inside was... a literal knight in shining armour. After half an hour of mutual bewilderment, they decided to take the knight- Wels- to Xisuma's nearby bee farm. Turns out Wels was an actual knight, who'd been sealed in the stone box after losing a fight to Helsknight, his demonic doppelgänger. He'd been in there since the middle ages. Cue some major culture shock for the poor guy.

-Zloy and Pixl are a pair of journalists documenting the goings-on of the town. Both are ghosts, but only Zloy is possessing his own corpse. And no, he doesn't understand it any better than Cleo does. They share a blog.

-Biffa is also a ghost possessing a body, though in his case it's robotic. He's from the future, but not the same future as xB. This does not help xB's case.

-Cleo and Zloy have an exceedingly petty feud ongoing feud. Zloy adds in playful jabs on the blog, and Cleo practices her necromancy by temporarily binding Zloy (and occasionally Pixl)'s soul to random everyday objects. The most memorable? A potato.

Team ZIT Ghostbusters AU!

Discord ideas. Of course they’re discord ideas. (paraphrased from a Discord discussion)

Keep reading

[shadeswift99]

So listening to ITS Phasmo at 2 am and now I have ideas with your Ghostbusters AU (kinda)

So Impulse Tango and Skizzleman were a team of ghost hunters. Somehow Impulse died while on a mission ghost hunting. Tango and Skizzleman continues the business without him.

Meanwhile, what they didn’t realize was that Impulse was still with them, just as a ghost himself. And while figuring out how to ghost, he met another ghost who’s been around longer than him named Zedaph.

Do with this what you will.

Oh look, an AU AU! The original AU had Skizz as a ghost and the others as the ghostbusters, but this is pretty interesting too... it's one of those ideas that could lead to a lot of angst but. My brain just immediately goes to humour instead....

Impulse, sadly watching them: "I hope they'll do alright without me... they've learned a lot over the years. I'm sure they'll be okay, right?"

Tango and Skizz: *arguing over whether this is a push door or a pull door*

Zedaph, Suddenly Manifesting: "Are your friends always like this?"

Impulse: "Who are you -"

Zed: "I'm Zedaph, and I'm pretty sure that door is actually a window."

Impulse: ".....oh."

[shadeswift99]

Been thinking about your ZIT Ghostbusters AU because I've gone back to watch old Phasmophobia VODs and wanted to suggest that the ghostbusting equipment for doesn't work on BeetleJHost, they've tried. :3

I am ALSO thinking about my ZIT Ghostbusters AU because I am watching recent Phasmophobia vods and: YES. The first few times they tried to contain him or chase him off, the Beetlejhost just laughed at them. They then splurged and bought a step up from their usual pieced-together gear in the hopes of getting rid of him for real, but that just ended up breaking as soon as the Beetlejhost was sucked into it. He emerged in a puff of smoke, quipping about how they don't make ghostbusting gear like they used to and man, I really hope you dummies got the extended warranty, replacing that's gonna cost you a fortune!

Yeah. They didn't try very many times after that. The ZIT Ghostbusting Agency budget can much more easily cover a few broken mirrors and bruised egos from Beetlejhost's joking than it can cover all the gear they'd burn through trying to make him go away. And hey, at least he's helpful sometimes!

[rayveewrites]

Hey remember when I hijacked the Team ZITS Ghostbuster AU a while back? Anyway I wrote a oneshot for it. Enjoy.

[shadeswift99]

Ok so, ghost au, is TFC one of the old people who call for ghosts? Does he actually have ghosts?

I'm sorry my brain blacked out as soon as I read TFC because:

TFC IS A RETIRED GHOSTBUSTER

He really didn't want to call the kids in and put them in danger, but this one got a little too hot to handle and his old equipment isn't quite what it used to be. Team ZIT took care of the spook (with the usual amount of bumbling and yelling) and then got the gift of some valuable advice :)

[shadeswift99]

Team ZIT Ghostbusters AU!

Discord ideas. Of course they’re discord ideas. (paraphrased from a Discord discussion)

-  Zedaph is the one who started the ghostbusting crew. Impulse is the one who went along with it because his normal job is boring and he's had haunt-y experiences before that he wants to confirm were real. Tango is the guy who didn't believe at all but they dragged him along because he's the only one with a car

- Tango keeps somehow missing any and all real ghost encounters (”Come on man, you HAD to have seen that!” “I was in the bathroom!”)

- The few ghost encounters he actually has. he still manages to excuse as something else for a really long time (”Jerk in a costume” “Weather balloon” “Firework show gone wrong” “Hallucination” “Water reflection”, etc.)

- He eventually has to admit that ghosts are real, but he keeps up the bit with the others because he thinks it’s funny

- the others start to wonder why he’s so dedicated to convincing them that ghosts aren’t real in spite of their very real encounters. They start to wonder if Tango himself is a ghost

- He is not. Hilarity ensues

- Zed and Impulse start setting ghost traps around the office, but the ever-oblivious Tango keeps accidentally avoiding them. Zed and Impulse then activate them themselves while looking for flaws in the design.

-  About two thirds of their calls are just old people who are freaked out and kinda lonely, they're good at reassuring them and "thoroughly checking" for any “ghosts�� to put them at ease

-  Beetlejhost was one of these calls, it was supposed to be nothing! They were convinced it was nothing! And it was nothing, until Tango and Impulse went into the hall for their customary "check" and got insulted up and down by a nerd-looking guy in a striped suit.They like to think they let him come with them, but really, he just wouldn't leave. He is Weirdly resistant to all their ghostbusting measures

- Eventually they just stop trying to get rid of him

-  Zed and impulse eventually ask him if Tango is a ghost, he gives an incredibly cryptic answer that those two interpret as a yes

-  The eventual confrontation about Tango's theoretical ghost-ness starts out ridiculous, but gets more serious. Impulse and Zedaph start listing the reasons why they think he's a ghost - he's weirdly insistent that ghosts aren't real, he hasn't told them anything about his life, they never really see him arrive or leave from the office...eventually Tango kind of snaps and shouts at them that he's not a ghost! He just doesn't have many other places to go, okay? They don't bring it up again

-  However. There are a few weird things around the office that they cite as evidence that Tango can't explain. He didn't open that door that they always leave closed. He couldn't have boiled water in the kettle that's been broken for six months. He isn't the reason why their reflection in every mirror is wearing a different facial expression than they are.

- They would suspect the Beetlejhost, but the strangeness started long before he got there

-  They bought the office for cheap because nobody else would buy it. The story is that the landlord was murdered there a decade ago, and he still hasn't left the place, making sure all of the new tenants are treating it well and punishing them if they don't. The three didn't really put much stock in that. It's a myth, right? Urban legend. Happens all the time. Surely the ripped and slightly bloodied vest they found in the attic has a perfectly reasonable and natural explanation.

- Honestly, their resident ghost buddies (both known and unknown) are probably the only reason they haven’t been attacked by ghosts in their own office yet. As annoying as they can be, they make pretty good protection from incorporeal intruders.

- “Ghosts try to fuck with them and are met with a ripped dude and a nerd in a suit, both looking quite angry”

-  They only really realize that the Beetlejhost isn't the only ghostly officemate when large amounts of their post-mission pizza start disappearing

-  Impulse starts "accidentally" leaving things out just to see what happens to them. He leaves out a Rubix cube to see if it's solved by the morning. It isn't, but it has been thrown out the window.

-  Skizz has never had to learn how to physically appear before. He's never really wanted to. The living world kind of screwed him over, so he doesn't feel like he owes them anything other than ominously lurking just beyond the mortal plane. However, to these people, he kind of thinks he might want to make himself known. They seem...okay. Ish. Maybe. No promises.

- Maybe at first, he just talks (suddenly, in the middle of the night, in a way that just about gives Impulse a heart attack of course)

- Eventually, the Beetlejhost teaches him how to make himself visible. (Of course he knew Skizz was there the whole time)

-  He still mostly keeps to himself - not used to being friendly yet - but when he does choose to show up to team game night, an extra bit of company is always welcome. (plus it's someone to keep the Beetlejhost from cheating by phasing through the table and looking at the cards)

-  Beetlejhost comes with them on missions, but Skizz is more or less bound to the building

-  The Beetlejhost usually just sings and/or laughs at them, but he's gotten them out of a good few tight spots on occasion with Ghost Negotiations. After all, he doesn’t really want them to get hurt

-  As distant and mischievous as Skizz can be, really, he doesn't want them to get hurt either. They take good care of the building and they're the first real friends he's had in 15 years so why would he want them gone? So, he does his part to help them whenever he can

-  One time one of the more dangerous ghosts decided that possessing Impulse was a good idea. They subdued him and took him back to the office to figure out what to do with him, but they didn't have to. Skizz basically just yelled at the ghost until it left.

- Speaking of possessed, Tango has a strange talent for coming under the control of ghostly forces. Usually it’s pretty easy to get the ghost to leave, though, so it’s okay - and hey, at least it left him with some nifty red eyes!

- And yes, Tango does get possessed when he still thinks ghosts aren’t real. And no, that does not convince him.

- He has to wear sunglasses sometimes so they don’t get kicked out of places, but he usually just lets the eyes show and becomes the most badass person in the Walmart

- Zedaph and Tango try to ask Skizz how he died sometimes. It’s a bit of a touchy subject, but of course he chooses humour instead of just saying that. Zed and Tango continue to insist that “saw your mom’s face and died from shock and horror” isn’t a valid death explaination

- Skizz doesn’t want to talk about his death because he was killed by someone he trusted. A "friend" did something bad and wanted to use Skizz's place to hide from the cops, but Skizz didn't agree and didn't want that on his hands. He tried to convince the friend that if he turned himself in he would get a lighter sentence, but the friend killed him in anger. Notice how I said earlier that the crew are the first real friends he's had in 15 years, but he's only been dead for 10

-  Skizz isn't really interested in getting that person caught, he just wants to make sure nobody uses his place for bad stuff after he died. That’s his unfinished business.

-  Of course, the crew sometimes gets called in to take care of things that are not, in fact, ghosts, to varying results. One time a guy (whose name might have been Mumbo) called them in to ghost-vacuum his living roommate (who might be called Grian) who was just being annoying. They didn’t, of course, but only because Impulse said it would be wrong. Their other roommate (Iskall) gave them a tip and apologized for his idiot besties

- While they didn't vacuum Grian, Zed and Tango are still curious about what happens if they vacuum a living person

- Tango now has to figure out how to delicately and calmly phrase "Skizz please help oh god Zed's soul is stuck in the vacuum cleaner"

Please feel free to send me questions, I am enjoying this way more than I should be :)