#I have several fics I should be working on
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Hello it is 12/21/2024 and it is BW fic comments Saturday again!
How it works:
Reblog this post with a link to your fic (or a fic you think is underrated) from the DA or ME fandoms (you could do the others, too, but I’m not as familiar with KOTOR, JE, BG, Anthem, etc)
I will reblog your rb so people can see it
I will go and read your fic
I will leave you a comment (my username on AO3 is flyiing_giraffe, comments come from there)
I start with whoever posts first, and go down the list from there
In the interest of fairness, I read the first chapter of all multi-chapter works
It will likely take several days to get through everyone. I appreciate your patience!
Rules (more like guidelines):
You can send all pairings and any rating, but if you are sending explicit stuff please lmk (esp if it’s not housed on AO3)
If you already did this and want to send the same one again, go ahead (I think you should promote your stuff!) but I will prioritize comments for fics I haven’t read yet (I’m probably not going to comment a second time on oneshots, sorry)
I am happy to reblog any fic posts you have throughout the week, but please link them in your rb for the sake of convenience
This post is going up at 12:00 p.m. MST and you can continue to submit until midnight MST.
Thanks for sharing your work!
#dragon age#veilguard#dai#dao#da2#mass effect#bioware#dragon age fanfiction#mass effect fanfiction#dragon age origins#dragon age 2#dragon age inquisition#datv#dragon age the veilguard#mass effect 2#mass effect 3#mass effect andromeda#origin post
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Given how much of a large thematic focal point Solas takes in Mythal's journey. Had he done more than make the dagger, we would have narratively known about it. We knew back in DAI the dread wolf was some kind of subordinate to Mythal.
Mythal: I pulled you from the fade you loved and sent you into war. I used you wisdom as a weapon...and it broke you. [source]
My sibling in Andraste/Lady of the Skies/Mythal, please show me where it says the artbook is a canon source of dragon age media and should be used as a canon source? I will gladly say I am wrong all day every day if it is canon. Hell I am using ideas from Matt Rhodes' concepts of the companion missions for my Lucanismance fic, but they are concepts, not canon to Lucanis' romance.
We know that Elvhen history has been chronicled one of two ways. 1) Chantry Scholars 2) Written Traditions, that were saved through Oral Traditions You are doing a disservice to the complexity of history in this media franchise by disregarding the song that was turned into a lullaby for elvhen children. Especially since it is not the only only song dated from around the titan war. So let's start with A Song to Elgar'nan, which was an Inquisition codex
Elgar'nan, Wrath and Thunder, Give us glory. Give us victory, over the Earth that shakes our cities. Strike the usurpers with your lightning. Burn the ground under your gaze. Bring Winged Death against those who throw down our work. Elgar'nan, help us tame the land.
In this I emphasized three things. The first "Give us victory, over the Earth that shakes our cities." From this we can learn the war was not going well, the people were desperate for a victory, and that the Titans were shaking the cities (and likely doing massive upheavals to those cities) Our next line "Bring Winged Death against those who throw down our work." We have to look at another song; A Song to Falon'din for answers too who "Winged Death" is, which from the song below you can see it is Falon'din. Which begs several questions.
The People swore their lives to Falon'Din Who mastered the dark that lies. Whose shadows hunger Whose faithful sing Whose wings of death surround him Thick as night. Lethanavir, master-scryer, be our guide, Through shapeless worlds and airless skies.
There is a reason Propaganda from harmful regimes is still analyzed in the real world. It can tell you plenty about the people who lived under those regimes and what they were dealing with on a daily basis. That one codex is not the only example of Mythal being praised for sundering the titans. There is a line in Veilfire Runes in the Deep Roads that says the following;
Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!
Huh that almost sounds like....
Bellara: Mythal las ma theneras. We thought it meant Mythal gives you dreams. It wasn't that, it was Mythal took your dreams, all along.
Again I am not saying Solas is blameless, honestly I quite prefer him messy and tragic and riddled with guilt for actions that were not entirely his own. Solas as you said was not a member of the Evanuris and he very likely did not have the power to do the ritual given how new he was to his body.
You know in retrospect sundermount is a hell of a name for a mountain
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#veilguard spoilers#Solas#Mythal#Evanuris#Dwarves#Elgar'nan#Falon'din#titans#long post#mythalsknickers salt
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hey remember that wrightworth amnesia fic i mentioned months ago...
I actually have been working on it.
I've outlined several scenes. This one's fully outlined, as are a few others. The whole story's just kind of a giant love letter to the various tropes I've come to love in reading fanfic of this ship. The next scene's got Miles and Franziska being siblings (and overt references to Fran/Maya), and then the next Miles goes home, and then the one after that he goes to his office and Phoenix finally shows up...
...but I got to the part in my outline where I was describing Miles' office, and I got to talking about photographs he's got on his desk, and I realized that while I could probably cobble something together regarding Kay and Eustace from fanon, what with the amount of fics I've read, what with the arrival of the Investigations collection, there's really no excuse for me to not get familiar with these characters myself. And I should probably also know how Miles' story actually goes, if I want to write from his POV.
So that's what I've been doing. Holding off on working on more of this until I finish Investigations. I'm almost done with the first game!
Anyway, the basic idea of the story is that Miles gets magic amnesia due to standard Kristoph bullshittery, and he's reset to his character from the first game. As far as Miles is concerned, Turnabout Sisters just happened. But actually, it's post-Duel Destinies (mostly because Spirit of Justice is kinda difficult to incorporate and also I don't care for Nahyuta). And I plan to not have Manfred von Karma have been executed in the interim time period because I'm using the reality clause, and California hasn't executed anybody in almost two decades!
I'm not sure I'll ever actually end up posting it, to be honest. I've never written canon/canon fic before, and I worry that everyone will hate it. And also I know that a lot of people find amnesia fic creepy. It's just a trope I really enjoy in fiction, and I've never written it before, so...why not? I guess we'll see!
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Debling's Red Flags 🚩
On first viewing of S3, I liked Debling because he displayed some of Colin's attractive qualities of nerdiness, adventurousness, rebelliousness against society's rules, passion for purpose and disdain for fakeness. It was nice to see a suitor dancing with Penelope and complimenting her frankness and wit.
But on deeper reflection, Debling had several red flags.
He warned Penelope that he loved his work so much there was unlikely room in his heart to love his wife (🚩please get away from Pen).
He wanted a wife who was convenient, independent and capable of running an estate (🚩sounded like he was employing an accountant).
Debling was aware that Penelope is a romantic and yet he wanted to lock her in a loveless, essentially sexless marriage for life (🚩bastard, you are dead to me).
Penelope was right to feel nervous telling Debling in S3E4 that she is drawn to "reading stories of love, stories of connection and a better life" (better than the cold & cruel home she grew up in, meaning Penelope desperately desires a warm & loving home). The honourable response to hearing that from Penelope would be for Debling to end plans of a marriage of convenience. Instead Debling equated what Penelope said to how he feels about his work. 🚩Debling then proceeded to take steps to bind Penelope to a marriage contract that would remove any chance of her experiencing romance without catastrophic financial, legal and social consequences.
Some neurodivergent viewers may find Debling with his quirks and special interest in animals relatable. Which is more than fine. But Bridgerton is a romance show and I believe marriages work best when core values are compatible. Penelope's core value of "love & connection" is incompatible with Debling's core value of "work above all & indifference to love". Sometimes people change, but it is always safest to take people based on observed evidence of the compatibility of their character and values with yours.
Debling was hostile towards Colin too. It drives me insane when people say Colin's beef with Debling was one-sided. In the S3E4 library scene, Debling followed Penelope's line of sight and saw that she was looking with interest at Colin. He then stepped to the side to block Penelope's view of Colin. At the Innovation Ball when Debling came to collect Penelope to dance he interrupted as Colin was about to speak and then Debling gave Colin a savage, smug glare.
Some may argue that Debling was kind, intelligent and rebellious enough to not bend to social pressure and abandon Pen if he found out she was Lady Whistledown. But he failed to provide a long enough courtship to confidently demonstrate this. Debling was rushing Pen to the altar because his noticeable priority was to divest the responsibility of running his estate so he could depart to catalogue animal species. His lack of care for a longer courtship demonstrated selfishness, arrogance, impatience and disrespect. Qualities that do not bode well for a happy marriage. You can be passionate about your work, and a bit impulsive, but rushing into marriage/pregnancy with a stranger who has not proven to have a compatible personality over time and various challenges is not smart and not safe.
It is true that women had few options in Regency times and that marriage to a wealthy, titled and absent man could be preferable to remaining in Featherington House. To that, I say: give Penelope a helpful solicitor. Book!Penelope's solicitor was the MVP. He established publishing connections, managed her finances across multiple bank accounts, and utilised the deaths of distant relatives as a cover for large financial transactions. Honestly, "Go speak to a lawyer" should be the message more romance stories promote, rather than "Marry quickly and blindly hope for the best". I recommend this Polin fic with a helpful solicitor, it is empowering and romantic: Mistress of Choice by some_mad_lunge https://archiveofourown.org/works/29520279/chapters/72531312
Debling did not need to exist. The use of a rival courtship in S3 cheapened Colin's decision to declare himself by making it appear that it was predominantly motivated by possessiveness and a time crunch rather than driven by the genuine growth of his romantic feelings towards Pen.
The Debling plot stole precious time away from Polin building a stronger connection, character development for Colin and Bridgerton sibling support for Colin. The S3 writing/editing gave Colin crumbs and my boy deserved better.
There were many things I loved about S3, which I happily post about, but Debling is not one of those things.
(No hate to the actor. I loved listening to him on this podcast episode. He is a real sweetheart.)
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Heart-To-Heart {A Kaiju Number 8 Short story.}
[Warning: Major Character Death] [Warning: Depictions of Gore]
It was a long drive back to the First Division base. It felt even longer since you could feel everyone collectively reeling from the news. It hadn't hit the front-liners just yet. The higher ups were waiting to see just how many were going to come back from the fight alive first. Mina and Soshiro couldn't bring themselves to tell Reno or Kikoru just yet either. They knew something was off when they rushed their friend into an armored truck as soon as the dust settled. They were just going to have to writhe in a lack of understanding for a little while longer. At least, just until the captain and vice captain could get a better understanding of what Kafka; or, they guess in this new situation, Kaiju Number 8, was now.
"You seem to have developed a new staring problem." Hoshina observed bitterly.
Him and his captain were riding in the back of a mostly empty armored box truck. Other than them, there was what was to be assumed to be what remained of Kafka. That being just... the kaiju itself. It wasn't clear what had happened to Kafka after the end of the fight, but that's why they were in here. Although, neither of them felt like getting a head start on questioning.
"Apologies. It's just... you, remind us... of someone. Someone... we miss." Kaiju Number 8 spoke as it cocked its head to the side, it's sight not leaving the commander's face.
It was strapped to a metal chair again, similar to the one they had placed their friend in three months prior. It's voice wasn't the same as Kafka's anymore. Even when Kafka was in his Kaiju form, you could still hear it and tell it was still Kafka, even if it had developed a deeper tone and a rolling grumble. Now... there was nothing of that jolly voice left. It sounded more like listening to a stadium of people talking in unison behind a closed door. It was almost hard to listen too... in more ways than one.
"We? All I see is the one knucklehead." Hoshina retaliated, his voice unchanging. A brief pause was filled with a low, clicking growl. Almost like thunder rolling over mountains.
"Was that a purr? He fucking purrs now?" Hoshina thought as he continued to return the stare down the Kaiju was giving back.
"Looks like... we, won't miss... him... for much... longer." Kaiju Number 8 said with an uncanny level of hope in its voice. It was an odd sight watching the kaiju speak. It moved its mouth like it was talking, but the movement didn't match the words themselves.
"We. You keep saying we. Why is that?." Mina spoke up for the first time since they entered the vehicle. They watched the kaiju as it took its time coming up with an answer.
"We are... gone. All gone. We are now... shame. Regret... Fear. Rage...Revenge." Kaiju Number 8 said cryptically.
"Well, that wasn't exactly helpful." Mina thought.
"Revenge? Against what?" Hoshina questioned on his turn.
"To finish... what we started. To kill... Kill all Kaiju." It said as it's voice became more threatening, dropping in tone and developing a deeper growl.
A harsh, wheezing laugh came from the vice captain as he got up to walk around the container.
"Great. The damn thing's turned you worse than a mindless, killing dog." He muttered to himself as he was turned away from both of them.
"Hoshina." Mina said with a warning tone, having heard what he had said very clearly.
"Oh, don't act like you're being okay about this! How is anyone going to be okay about this? How's he okay about this?" Hoshina suddenly became very shrill and his movements became exaggerated despite him still feeling the toll the back-to-back fights had put on him, "This is Kafka we're talking about! Or, well, at least it was Kafka."
"Our host... is still here." the kaiju interrupted, "He has joined... the others." There was a weighty pause as the information settled into the commanders.
"Is there... a way to bring him back?" Mina cautiously questioned, trying to not let her hope betray her tone.
"He was presented... a choice. To heal his own heart... and walk away. Or to let it become... our new core." It spoke longer now, gaining speed as well as confidence while it acclimated to it's new state. That harsh laugh rang out again from Hoshina's bruised lips as he tried to not shake his head at the absurdity.
"Why am I not surprised. Ohhh, I should have seen this coming." He sighed as he gently rubbed his face, "He didn't have to do any of this. I had that fight handled." the vice captain continued to mutter as he paced the metal box. This earned a disappointed look from his captain and a curious head tilt from the strapped down Kaiju.
"Oh, don't give me that look." Hoshina said quickly.
"You said he's... that Kafka is still around. Do you think that... it's possible he can hear us?" Mina continued to question cautiously, her heart quietly grasping at any straws that Kafka could have a chance. A chance to understand, to come back to them, or anything that would assuage the pain she felt in her chest, she didn't know.
"He can... He is." the Kaiju answered. Mina tried to prepare a statement, something that could have be reassuring to the both of them at the moment, but the words were killed on her tongue as Hoshina stomped over to their altered friend and slapped a hand on one of the metal arm cuffs while he rudely pointed his finger at it's chest.
"Good. Then that self-sacrificing, one-percent lump of dead weight can hear in great detail about how I'm going to jump down your throat and drag his hairy ass back into the sunlight the second the option seems viable." Hoshina was growling and practically frothing at the mouth by the time he finished his tirade. He took a deep and shuddering breath as he stared the unflinching Kaiju down before calmly turning his head to side-eye his captain.
"You've picked one hell of a friend, captain." he said, his tone unfortunately still harboring misplaced resentment. Mina's normally unflinching face cracked as her brows furrowed and her lips pinched as she got up from her seat.
"You're the one that wanted him on the force." her voice was dark and deceptively even as Hoshina rose to meet her eyes.
"You might want to rethink your tone, captain." He said, trying not to spit it back in her face. The tension in the air pulled tighter and tighter behind the sound of the road noise, only to be cut short as the Kaiju in the room spoke up.
"Kafka... Were you and Kafka... friends?" It asked softly. The two of them turned to face it with puzzled expressions.
"Did having him melt into your little hive mind not already clue you in to that?" Hoshina scoffed.
"It did." The kaiju answered.
"Then why ask?" Mina questioned slowly, becoming deeply curious as well as a little worried for the answer.
"He felt he had... lost the honor." it said as it's white pupils flicked away sympathetically, "He had... broken his promise."
Hoshina shook his head a little at the answer, not understanding completely what that would mean to Mina. He was already aware at this point that her and Kafka were childhood friends, but without any deeper knowledge as to what that friendship meant to each other, he just felt left out of the loop. What ended up grabbing his attention was a shallow, rattling breathing next to him. He turned to look at his captain and saw an emerging and disheartening marvel. Mina seemed to be on the verge of tears. Lips quivering and tears threatening to spill from her shocked eyes.
"Hadn't he?" the kaiju asked, tilting it's head again.
The final nail in the coffin it seemed. Mina spun around on her heels and sprinted to the container's reinforced doors as she put her finger up to her ear comm.
"Stop the vehicle." She commanded, her voice not betraying an ounce of what she felt at the time.
A brief pause was held before she commanded again, this time screaming the order into the comm. Hoshina quickly widened his stance against the force of the truck breaking suddenly.
"Mina?" Her voice captain called out as he watched the back doors fly open and his captain hop down and out of the vehicle.
He tried to rush forward and catch up to her, only for the doors to be slammed back in his face before he could leave. He banged his fist on the metal for a moment, hoping for someone to open them back up. All he felt was the truck rumbling back to life and continuing down the road. He shook his head in disbelief and concern, not knowing why his captain reacted like that.
"Do you believe... that this is not a good price... to pay?" that infinitely echoing voice rang out from the back of the truck.
"What?" Hoshina spat, not understanding the question.
"You continue to fight against... what has already been decided. Do you think that... this form... was not a good price... to pay?" It spoke slowly, not in intentional mockery, to be sure, but it felt like it to Hoshina.
"Pay? Pay for what?" he shouted back.
"No more lost lives... No more shattered families... No more broken promises." It spoke, leaving the idea open ended. It didn't need to expand further anyway. Hoshina got the idea pretty well as he calmed down.
The only thing worse than a predictable friend, was knowing how predictable you were yourself. Because Hoshina asked himself the same hypothetical question and found himself coming to the same answer. A heart for a core... a thousand times over.
‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿
"Epidermis breached. Eight, you're up!" Soshiro called as he leapt back from the entry wound he caused in their newest threat.
Some sort of bastard child of the Meraki Kaiju a year earlier. It hadn't developed Number Nine's shape shifting abilities or possessed any way of speaking, but it damn sure inherited its intelligence. Emerging without warning in the northern part of Japan, it made it clear it still had an ax to grind. A writhing mass of acidic smelling meat, tentacles, and eyeballs, it looked the part to start a spaghetti monster themed cult.
Kaiju Number Eight made a mad dash from the sidelines, focusing solely on getting to the gaping wound the Vice Captain had started. Getting to the weeping slash, it pried the edges of it apart with as much force as it could muster, sending violent arterial sprays of acid around, over, and behind it. From then, it was just a fury of movement. Strong claws ripping and yanking large chunks of hazardous flesh from the threatening mass of black and sending it away from them so it could dig ever further to its center. An example of perfectly honed equilibrium comprised of streamlined intent and raw berserker rage. A flicker of bright, webbed strings of multi-colored light let it know that its destination had been reached. Quickly scrapping the muscle around the core, the Kaiju noticed that the monster had picked up another thing from its progenitor; a hard-light barrier around the core.
"Core two of three located. Beginning demolition." Eight called out loud enough to be picked up by its custom ear comm.
"Core sighting confirmed. Begin neutralization." Okonogi had said on the other end of the link.
It reared back its fist as it felt the thruster tubes in its forearm slide out and into position. It waited for the jets to build up sufficient pressure before letting it send its fist rocketing forward to the shield with each punch.
First hit.
Second hit.
Third hit. Shields gone.
Fourth hit.
Fifth hit. Core shattered.
"Energy readings dropped. Core Destroyed! Good work Kaf-I mean, Eight!" Okonogi let out a reserved cheer as she read out the information at her station.
That wasn't the only surprise the monster had in store it seemed. Just as Eight turned to launch itself out of the slowly enclosing wound, a barbed tentacle shot out from behind the broken core and propelled through its chest with enough force to send its body flying out and down the street. When the tentacle stopped moving, Eight's body flew off of it, feeling the barbs rip through its flesh as it tumbled through the air. Eight hit the asphalt, hard. Would have sent any ordinary officer unconscious with a concussion even if they had the suit's shield. It felt itself rolling down the street and over the harsh edge of a curb. With the wind knocked out of it's lungs and the very obvious sign that it's blood was pouring out from its chest, it made the now monumental effort to prop itself against a solid surface and take a mental rundown of the damage. Bringing a clawed hand to its chest, it made the devastating discovery.
"Well... shit."
On the other side of the offending mass of destruction was Mina and Narumi, tag-teaming their attacks to crack the first layer of the Kaiju. Dodging the slashing appendages coming for them left and right, they felt they weren't any closer to breaking its resistant shell. The fight had been going on for so long that the both of them could feel their fortitude percentage dropping with every twitch of muscle. Out of nowhere, Mina saw her vice captain drop from the air in front of them and plunge the sword in his suit's tail to cut a deep gash in the beast top-to-bottom.
"Heard ya'll were having some trouble." Hoshina panted with a bloody and cocky grin.
"Hoshina! You're supposed to watch Eight's back!" Mina yelled as she shifted her cannon's muzzle away from him.
"Kafka got his mission handled. He should be on his way." Hoshina replied as he dashed in a circle around her, dicing up any tentacles shooting out her way.
"About that! Eight's vitals just dropped off the map!" Okonogi cried in panic, watching the screens turn red.
The captain and her vice immediately looked to each other as their faces turned to shock. Okonogi could only watch as she witnessed everyone's vitals go haywire at the news. Mina could just barely bring herself out of her nightmarish thoughts and leveled her cannon at the kaiju's gaping wound, making sure it stayed open a little longer.
"Go to him! Me and the Bowl-cut Bastard can handle this!" Narumi cried as he fought off his own barrage of barbed obstacles.
Mina looked over to her vice as he reassured her with a quick nod before jumping into the fray with Narumi. She whistled hard and loud, calling her faithful tiger to her aid. She leaped onto its back and held on tight while they tracked down their fallen comrade, trying not to think the worst.
Back on the other side, Eight had managed to prop itself against a shockingly still intact dumpster next to one of the few miraculously standing buildings this close to the fight. Black rivulets of blood trailed behind it and stained its path to false safety. A jagged tunnel had been left behind from the tentacle's blow, acting as the main source of agony and fear for its health. This kind of an injury wouldn't normally be a problem, even the acid melting away at his chest wouldn't have raised any concern. It's healed from worse before, but not this time. No, this time was a problem as it could feel where the barbs had ripped and shredded its way through its core and the acid making quick work of whatever was left to touch.
Inside the dark, flesh textured walls of their mind, Kafka's presence manifested as a battered and broken soldier. Redder blood leaked from various gashes on his face and body. Dark, angry bruises littered his sore chest and limbs. Outside of the pain, he mostly felt numb. At most, a dull ache in his chest where his heart-turned-core would have been. He turned to one of the other presences in his mindscape, the samurai soldier that held his powers before him, and smiled a weak smile. He couldn't tell if the samurai was as badly battered as he was, but he could tell in the way he held his chest they at least felt the same pain. Kafka chuckled raspingly as he turned and shuffled toward the last being in the brain, the big Kaiju bug that held all the power, and painfully shambled his way over to it.
"So... Was that a damn good last run or what?" Kafka playfully mocked as he carefully settled himself to the floor, leaning back against the equally battered Kaiju bug.
"No... We're not finished. We have to finish the fight!" The samurai shouted wheeling around to Kafka, still clutching his chest.
"Can't do that if there's no more fight left in us, Papaw. Face it... We're fucked." Kafka panted from the pain as it spread more viciously and his muscles released its tension.
"How dare you call yourself an officer! There are still lives on the line back there!" the samurai angrily shouted at him.
"AND HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO CONTINUE WITHOUT ANOTHER FUCKIN' CORE, HUH?" Kafka screamed back with more rage than the samurai could ever express.
There was a lot of words that both of them wanted to say, things to be said in anger and fear, in hopelessness and tiredness. But they were getting tired themselves, feeling the energy being sapped from their muscles and the warmth being leached at the same rate as their blood. There was no denying that this... this was it. No more hearts for cores, no second chances, no turning back the clock. Kafka never got to feel what it was like to be by Mina's side. The Samurai won't get to see other people live a life without fear from otherworldly threats. The kaiju that made all this possible will never know what a quiet mind could have felt like.
"But we got close though, didn't we?" Kafka softly begged, "Tell me we got close, Papaw."
The samurai looked down for a moment, seeming to think his response over, before looking away entirely.
"Even if one fails to reach the moon, one still lies among the stars." He finally said, still not looking back.
Kafka gave a soft smile in return, leaning his head back as his head grew heavy with a lead-like feeling. He knew he didn't mean it, but appreciated the effort anyway.
"And not a night sky to be seen." Kafka muttered to himself as the dark started to overtake his sight.
Something in the back of his mind wouldn't let him rest completely, however. He could sense something coming closer and moving in rapidly. He could tell it was a kaiju, but a smaller one giving off an abnormal but familiar signature. Mina's tiger, no doubt bringing its owner along with it.
"Shit. Can't let Mina see us like this." Kafka groaned painfully as he tried to stand both inside and outside the body, "She doesn't need to see this."
The samurai just eyed his mental roommate from the unchanging confines of his mask and made no move to help the struggling Kafka up to his feet. In their mind's eye, they watched as Mina dismounted and bolted forward to their devastatingly injured remains. Her voice was muffled, but they could definitely sense the distress in her tone as she dropped to her knees by their side.
"Oh God! Nonono, KAFKA!" Mina cried as she harshly dropped to her knees beside his still body. She brought up a hand to its chest wanting to slow the profuse bleeding, only to feel the massive opening staying warm through the power of the acid alone. It became all too clear to her that at this moment... that her friend couldn't be salvaged
"Mina... please. You need to go." Eight muttered out as more blood dripped from its teeth.
"No, Kafka, this can't be it! Not like this. I can't lose you again." Mina's eyes rained its tears freely, taking advantage of their privacy to stop holding back in this vulnerable moment.
She could barely hear the sounds of the on going battle in front of them through her wet sniffling and ragged coughing. She held on tight to its chest and shoulder, trying to focus her thoughts away from another time. An earlier time where this had happened before, where she lost the last pieces of her long gone friend. Her cheeks were hot with anguish as she bowed her head against its shoulder, thinking of any and all prayers she could think of. She didn't want this moment to finish and take the last shreds of hope she had with his passing.
Back in the dark passages of their mind, Kafka had only managed to drag himself to his hands and knees as he tried to speak to Mina. He barely had enough strength to keep himself upright, let alone to project his voice out of the confines of his mind. The samurai just stood still as it quietly watched this all go down.
"Mina... Mina I'm so sorry *cough* for everything... I... I know this is going to be hard... but I know that... you can be strong-" Kafka coughed again and almost landed on his face from exhaustion. Planting his trembling arms as firmly as possible underneath him, he tried to look over at the samurai standing next to him.
"For fuck's sake, Papaw! Can you help me up sometime today, please?" He called out as he managed to lean back onto his legs somewhat.
He watched as the samurai continued to ignore him, not even bothering to look his way. As Kafka busied himself with finding the strength within him to push Mina away in any way he could, he missed the telltale sound of a sword being pulled out of its sheath. As Kafka got off of one knee, he felt something hard and sharp push its way through the back of his neck and out of his mouth. He instantly felt all of his limbs going numb in that second and all of his weight being carried by what was shoved through his neck.
As the sword pulled itself back out, Kafka felt warm trickles of his blood start running down the back of his throat. He couldn't swallow the blood into a different direction and could only feel it all sliding right into his lungs, making him choke reflexively. As he fell onto his face, he felt the growing pain from the wound grow from the back of his head and slowly turn into the worst, practically splitting headache he had ever felt before now. Feeling his body twitching from the numbness and his lungs quaking in the fight against being able to breathe, he just laid there and saw his Ancestor flick his sword and clean it on his sleeve before placing it back into the sheath. Had Kafka not been choking on his own blood or had enough feeling in any of his limbs, he would have certainly returned the favor. What happened instead was the feeling of the floor opening up underneath him and dropping him down into that familiar, watery, bottomless pit in their shared conscious, eyes and mind growing darker the further down he drifted.
Back up top, his Ancestor took control of the body and started talking to the grieving Mina.
"Mina..." He called out.
"Kafka? Kafka, are you still with me?" Mina cried out desperately as she continued to hold the body close.
"We need... another heart." He asked, trying to stretch out whatever remaining willpower he had left to finish his request.
"A heart?" Mina questioned in the interlude, slowly gaining control over her tears.
"Yes... Another heart... for another core." He finished, hoping for Mina to understand what he was asking of her.
"A... a heart." Mina reiterated as the request she began to realize what was being asked of her, "I-I can't... I can't ask something like that from anyone..."
"You don't have to ask... If they're not here to question..." He answered, hoping he wouldn't have to spell it out further than that.
Mina's eyes grew wide as the tears threatened to spill over again. He was asking for her to drag over an already dead body? Just to continue fighting? Warning lights went off in her head as this ask dawned on her. Kafka would never ask for something like this, it was too underhanded. But then again... Maybe this wasn't Kafka talking anymore. Maybe Kafka was gone, and it was whoever made Eight was talking now. It had to have been, because Kafka's hate for the Kaijus was never deep enough to warrant this.
Still... some part of Mina refused to give up on him. Even if he wasn't the one talking right now, Eight was all she had left of her friend. Mina was strong, she led the forces, she joined the Division because of Kafka. She had watched him struggle year after year to catch up to her, falling back to square one every time. This Kaiju helped him on his last chance to get his foot in the door, and she hated to admit that it was probably the biggest reason as to how he managed to stay this long.
It wasn't the only reason, however. If the Kaiju helped him physically, his promise to her helped him in every other way. All he wanted was to be by her side, and even after every roadblock and setback and debilitating snag he hit, he got to this moment... this fight, and it was the closest he had ever gotten to fulfilling it. But one can't be expected to carry that kind of fight alone. She knew that well enough after blitzing through the ranks to Captain. At some point, a hand needs to be extended, a branch to hold on to, a sign that this isn't a one sided fight. That someone else wants what they want too, and wants to see that dream realized for them... with them. It took both of her hands to muscle the slackened arm up to her chest and placed the bloodied and acid-stained hand over her own heart.
"Take mine... You can take mine." She said, her voice betrayed no cracks, only a solitary hiccup.
"Mina... no. Anyone else..." The ancestor argued, knowing well enough that this would hurt more than just Mina.
"Well, you're not getting anyone else, goddamnit!" Mina screamed, " I've wanted too damn long for you to be by my side and watching you sacrifice everything on the dotted line, just for it all to stop here! I'm tired of waiting. I'm done waiting."
She placed her head back on its shoulder, waiting for it to decide. She worried that she took too long and that there wasn't any life left within it to finish the task. Eight found enough strength to bring his head over to the top of her's and lightly placed his closed mouth on it. For he had no lips to kiss away her fears, or a voice left to reassure her that everything would be okay. All it could give was a low, throaty rumble as her tears fell down like a storm.
'I'm sorry... for everything.' It thought.
A loud squelching noise was heard in tandem with a dull ache suddenly spreading out in her chest. Mina looked down and could see that Eight's hand had pushed itself through the barriers of her suit and was now being drenched in warm rivers of red blood. Her lungs spasmed irregularly as that dull ache started to feel more and more staticy. As she coughed, she felt a little spurt of blood splatter out of her mouth. Eight waited for her eyes to roll into the back of her head and for her body to grow limp before he sucked her heart out of her chest. Warmth began to travel down its arm and flowed freely into the rest of its body. It shed one lone black tear as the cavity in its chest began to close up.
Soshiro and Narumi's fight with the Daikaiju had gotten only a little further than nowhere in the time that Mina had left them. Soshiro had managed to keep the wound that he had made earlier open and could only stand by and watch as Narumi ventured inside it while slicing his way deeper in. A weighty moment had passed before he saw that back of Narumi's suit being propelled toward him at unbelievable speed. The two of them made contact and were sent flying backwards. Hoshina took his own fair share of damage as he ended up getting abruptly sandwiched between a broken piece of a stone wall and the full weight of Narumi in his numbered suit and weapon.
"Augh! What the hell, Narumi?" Hoshina cried out in pain as he rubbed the back of his head.
"Damn thing must have learned from the last two times we hit its core! It tried to skewer me with a tentacle and launch me backwards. I managed to deflect it with my weapon, but Jesus! That acid stings!" Narumi yelled as he shifted off of Hoshina's lap, trying to use his now ruined jacket to wipe off the rest of the acidic blood from the suit.
Hoshina tried to get back onto his feet, but could only manage to slowly shift himself onto a knee. Bracing himself against the wall, he leveled his one undamaged eye toward the hulking monstrosity before them. He panted heavily as he weighed his options, finding all of them to be far from satisfactory plans to finish this brutal beast once and for all. Still, no one could rest until that thing was put down for good.
"Get up Narumi." Hoshina growled through his pain, "We need to finish this." Narumi just squinted up at him with a question on his mind, before deciding that the smack talk back wasn't worth the effort. As they propped themselves to their feet as best they could, an unearthly voice came over the ear comms.
"Hoshina. Narumi. Stand down and head to safety." the voice commanded with easy authority.
Hoshina peered his head over the chunk of wall first. Off in the distance he saw a slim figure walking towards them. The sound of metal dragging over asphalt matched the sight of the stilted silhouette and its heavy looking object it brought with them. He grabbed Narumi by the shoulder and dragged them both off to the side of the street to hide behind more rubble. Leaning against a shattered chunk of roadblock, Hoshina watched with great interest as the figure got closer and closer. The sound of metal being dragged got replaced with the sound of metal being loudly pried apart, sheets and gears popping and buckling under great pressure. He studied the new arrival as best he could from his distance and made one startling discovery after another.
The being that approached looked almost like Eight and carried Mina's cannon. Only now that cannon had looked like it was caught in a tangle of thick, black, jungle vines that had wound itself into every part of the complex machine. The body that was connected to the cannon looked very different from what he remembered as well. Eight looked taller, leaner, and not as wide. And he certainly knew that Eight didn't have a full head of long black hair.
Narumi watched the new figure as well, but was focused on a very specific part of them. He watched the new kaiju open one set of eyes, then a second set below that, then a third set above them both. It only got stranger as he saw the borders of the eye's sockets stretch and lengthen out to the borders of the other eyes. Once the edges touched, the sides popped open and the eyes melded into each other, forming one long, glowing, teal band extending across the width of its face.
The tentacles on its arm had finished their job of weaving their way through the cannon and lifted the whole mess level with its target, the Kaiju everyone had been fighting. Hoshina watched on in slowly dawning horror as he heard the voice on the comms match to the movement of the teeth on the new Kaiju warrior in front of them.
"All should know better than to be caught in their Captain's line of fire."
Inside the mind of the new beast, Kafka could feel his mind turning on to a sense of alertness. It almost felt like waking up from a paralyzing nightmare. As he blinked his eyes and got them to focus, he tried to recall what had sent him sprawling over the floor in his own mind. His memories slowly worked their way forward from the moment he entered the fray, to when he felt the acidic sting of the tentacle pierce his core. He rolled onto his side and brought up a hand to rub his face, trying to dislodge anything more important or at least relevant. Even moving around in his listless state, he could instantly tell he felt different. His arms didn't feel sore or bruised, his chest had lost its weighty pain that had settled deep in his core. His core. If that had been broken, then how was he still able to think? As Kafka landed on his back and pushed himself up onto his hands, a deep, reverberating thump rattled in his chest as more recent memories started to crop up.
The fight. The killing shot. Crawling away to hide his shameful death. Mina... Oh gods, Mina! She found him, and... and... His Ancestor, the samurai. What did he do to him? Kafka felt his chest tighten as his breathing became labored and ragged, quick puffs of angry air sucking its way past his teeth. He shot up to his feet quickly, the lack of pain making him all the more angry at the thought of his Ancestor committing some atrocity that somehow fixed this. His only reasoning for this being that if it wasn't supposed to be a bad decision, then why bother silencing Kafka at all?
"WHERE ARE YOU?" he screamed out into the vast space of his mind, "FACE ME AND EXPLAIN, YOU COWARD!"
Kafka made a slow turn, viciously eyeing down any shadow in the dark recesses of his mind that could have been his murderer's form. Spying a dark shape off in the distance behind him, he turned and ran toward it, thinking it to be the samurai. As he got closer and closer, it became very clear that this new person wasn't the samurai. His Ancestor didn't have a flowing curtain of black hair, nor did it wear a defense force suit. He slowed down his pace for a second, becoming worried and praying that his mind had just decided to play a cruel joke on him, now of all times.
"Mina?" Kafka hesitantly called out, a thousand prayers for salvation from this fear echoed in his heart.
He watched on in horror as the familiar shade turned to the sound of its name and faced him with shock in her eyes. He picked up speed again, this time not with intent to maim and harm, but to approach this mirage of agony faster with the hopes that he'll just run right through it.
"No. No, no, no, nononono, MINA!" He cried as he got close enough to see that this wasn't a horrible joke, but a nightmare made flesh.
Carelessly plowing right into her, Kafka held her tight as they fell to the softly giving floor. Sobs racked his ribs and shuddered his lungs as he scrambled to his hands and knees. His hands roughly busied themselves with pulling her onto his lap and brushing strands of hair out of her face, chanting that simple word over and over. They slowed as the realization of this, of her physically being in his mind really meant, began to chip away at his already war-torn heart. He could feel himself rocking back and forth, cradling Mina's warm body close to him as he looked into her unbothered expression with his being stained with a flood of tears. He supposed it was him trying to bring comfort to Mina, but as her gentle hand placed itself on his cheek and stroked with her thumb, he knew that this was all to comfort him.
"No, Mina why? Why would you do this? You had to have known, right? I would never ask you to do this, you had to have known that it wasn't me! Why, Mina? You didn't have to do this." He whispered
Kafka could barely get the words out over the snot and bile building up in his throat. His tears soaked his cheeks and fell like rain onto Mina's hand. His face felt like it was on fire as he sniffed hard and tried to clear his throat. Holding her in his hands made any attempt of composure in vain as it just reaffirmed to him that what was done was irreversible. The Third Division lost its captain, but it certainly didn't feel like he had gained back his friend. He tried to restrain his violent sobs as he felt her arms tighten around his neck, pulling his body down over and closer to Mina. His arms tightened in return as he felt the other hand come up to play soothingly in his hair, the other rubbing gentle circles over his spine.
"My heart... was already yours." She whispered into the crook of his thick neck, the vibrations of the words sending small shockwaves through his torso.
All Kafka could bring himself to do was cry. Cry and scream and cry again until his voice became shot and he had no more tears to shed. Hands forever tight around his new heart.
‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿
(Some thoughts I had while writing this that won't fit into tags well)
Real quick, I just wanna mention that this is based off of a recent theory that I developed after reading chapter 118 and its that Kn8' true power isn't that fact that he's a shape shifter, or that he's got super strength or a sonic screech or anything else.
His true power is that he can turn hearts into cores, indirectly making itself partially immortal. (we could be immortals, immortals...)
So I see the end of this story going one of two ways:
One: Once the Third Division finds out what happened, they all come to a mutual agreement that they want their hearts cryogenically frozen after death so that Kaiju Number 8 is forever supplied with back-up cores. This ending kinda gives off this lovecraftian feel where in the future, Kaiju Number 8 stops being considered a Kaiju at some point and is more of an amalgamation of undying spirits that haunt the base forevermore.
Two: Kafka pulls a Hellsing Ultimate Abridged. He fights against Papaw first and then proceeds to fight and kill every soul that inhabits his core, ultimately evicting the collective consciousness that made his powers in the first place and distills it into himself. The only better way I think I can explain this is "Imagine Venom bonding to Eddie and then something happening to Eddie, causing Venom to sort of... recreate Eddie. But it's just Venom, so now it's like if Venom was his own host." Kafka is now Kafka, the parasite, and the Kaiju all at once. (He also somehow figures out a way to spit Mina out into her own body so she's fine.)
He's not a human that can turn into a Kaiju or the other way around. By Legal Definition he is, technically, the first, true, Human Kaiju.
#Honestly... I feel like this isn't my best work.#I think its because I rushed this a little bit#I just wanted to get this idea out there before the next chapter dropped.#because I didn't want it to change/influence how I wanted this to turn out#And I know that its a month between chapters but I really didn't want to take a month on a short story.#also I've got several other fics I want done AND I've got a poll about to wrap up soon so I wanted to be done before that as well.#could be seen as platonic or romantic#me personally#The second Hoshina recovers mentally from this ordeal they fucking nasty.#You thought this was a KafMina fic#But it was I! A KAFHOSHIMINA FIC!!!!!!#sorry for the overuse of the pronoun It#I refused to call Kafka's potential new form He/Him or They/Them on grounds that -#One: Kaiju (in this world) most likely don't have gender#And Two: Kafka is so many people now and I would like to not accept that it's JUST men in there.#A lot of people could have felt the same emotions and could have been in contact with parasitic Kaiju material.#Statistically there should have been AT LEAST one woman in the mix. (Before now)#That and I think it helps dehumanize Kafka a lot since he's technically not even Kafka any more.#Kaiju-Mina to any higher-ups: Look at me. I am the Captain now.#would they even let her is the question.#kaiju no.8#kaiju no. 8#kaiju number 8#kaiju no 8#kaiju n8#kaiju no. eight#kaijuu no. 8#kaijuu 8 gou#kaijuu number 8#kafka hibino
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Ngl as much as I ready literally everything you write im glad we are on a jjk grind bc I have never and will never play genshin (storage and also the one time I played I was bad at it) so I was a bit loss whenever I read ur fics (still love them tho) so im glad to know what’s going on in ur fics
completely understandable T-T i do try not to go too heavily into the lore bc i know a lot of people do not play/watch the stuff i write for, but sometimes i just,,, get so into it that i forget that everyone doesn't know about the three identical raiden shoguns and the minute differences between their individual personalities/backstories that make them identifiable despite very much sharing a literal body. at least jjk lore easier to explain (there are monsters (curses) and magic people (sorcerers) have to fight them but sometimes they don't (curse users)), even if i do kind of miss having to have 32 wiki for one paragraph of a single fic.
#i think we as a writing community should start having like#'works cited' pages at the bottom of our fics#bc i feel like i need credit for wading through several hours of voice lines and character trailers#just to be able to concretely say that venti's favorite color is green#((it's not))#((i think))#just for fun y'know#personal#anon ask'
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The Anatomy of a Three-Headed Dog (1/1)
Relationship(s): Solangelo Word Count: 3.8k Summary: “How many brains does Cerberus have? Do the heads think independently?” Trust Will to have a mountain of questions about a three-headed dog’s biology. Then again, maybe it’s on Nico for not expecting that this playdate would involve a detailed analysis of Cerberus’s brain functionality. (Post-canon fic in which Nico introduces Will to Cerberus for the first time.)
[Read on Ao3]
#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo#my fic#there are several things I should be working on but I wrote this instead#no but seriously though. how many brains does cerberus have
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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this is let grief do its work, a fic (currently unedited rip) I started as a kind of sister fic to hand on my stupid heart, another fic I'd written earlier and uh. yeah. you guessed it. haven't finished. I'm working on this on the side, Flying Over the Pit of Death + its sister fic & my original novels being my main focuses right now. I will most likely continue lgdiw sometime in the future, it just isn't my main priority. Like all of my fics, this idea is free for anyone to take & run with. if/when I finish this fic, the edited version will go on ao3. For context: this is just a prologue of sorts, depicting vaguely what is happening on the human side of the Portal the month after the Accident. On Danny's side, he's been chillin' in the Ghost Zone, where he ended up after half-dying, believing he's fully dead (he's not) & only realized he's still alive after it was too late for him to tell everyone what happened cuz like, awkward & embarrassing lol. HOMSH takes place a year later, when things come to a head. I feel it's important to reiterate that, although Danny isn't actually dead, the characters think he is & act accordingly. okay author's infodump note complete, fic under a readmore
“when they first go, let yourself think every selfish, no-good, dirty, angry, filthy, horrible thought. let the waves of anger wash through you. let grief do its work.” ーCaitlyn Siehl; Grief Counseling
On the first day, Sam had thought that, maybe, Danny was just busyーtoo busy to answer their texts, and their calls, and everything else. But then Tucker called her. It was a horrible game of telephone at first. Danny’s parents told Jazz, who told Tucker, who told Sam, and that’s how the communication went for two days until she and Tuck had enough.
They went to FentonWorks, the big, ugly building on the corner of Mockingbird and Cedar, and were surprised to find no one home at all. Not even Jazz. And, for the first time since they’d known the Fentons, the doors were locked. And when they tried to talk to Jazz later, they would find that they’ve officially filed a police report.
ー
Danny Fenton is missing. The last time Sam talked to him she was making fun of him, for being too scared to go check out the Fentons’ new Ghost Portal. She knew he was freaked out by stuff like thatーby ghosts. Now she doesn’t know if she’ll ever see him again.
There’s just no way. He can’t be gone. She literally saw him on Saturday. His empty seat in homeroom on the first day of school is the thing that does it. There’s this gap in the desks where he should be, but he’s not. Like he’s already haunting her.
It makes her sick. Everythingーeverything in her head, everything she knows. Despite what Dash and his asshole friends say, Danny wouldn’t run away. And the longer a person is missing, the more likely it is that they’reー
Sam doesn’t wait for the bell. She leaves Tucker in homeroom, goes straight to the bathroom, and wipes her face down in the sink, water turning black. Suddenly, everything macabre, everything dark and creepyーit just disgusts her.
She goes home early. No one even says anything, not the school, not her parents, not Tucker. Alone in her room, Sam starts to shake. She sobs once, something seething just under her skin. She stalks over to the wall where most of her horror movie posters are taped and starts tearing them down, one by one.
ー
Danny Fenton has been missing for a week, and Tucker, staring at the sweater his best friend forgot at his house, laid across his computer chair, thinks he’s starting to feel it.
Opening his phone, he feels it again. Looking at his texts, he feels it again, and again, and again.
Saturday • 4:47 p.m. Danny Phantom: xD Danny Phantom: not playing tonight, ghost portal opening night 👻 Danny Phantom: can play tmrw tho Too Fine: hell ya txt u then Danny Phantom: 👍 Sunday • 10:20 a.m. Too Fine: yo still up 4 doomed Too Fine: dued Too Fine: dude* Too Fine: you there Sunday • 10:21 a.m. Too Fine: txt me when you wanna play Sunday • 11:58 a.m. Too Fine: you up?
Tucker lets his phone fall on his bed. He doesn’t bother checking in with Sam. She’s been out of school and ignoring him for the last three days. It’s almost been a week sinceー
He gets up and stumbles to his chair. He sits down, careful not to mess up Danny’s NASA hoodie. Tucker turns on his desktop, types in his password, checks his emails. He messes around for as long as he can before he literally cannot take it anymore. He just can’t ignore it.
God. His best friend is gone. Is he coming back? Is heー
It’s like something inside his chest cracks. Without thinking, he pulls the NASA hoodie into his lap, and then over his head. It’s been here too long. It still has that smell of ozone and copper on it, though.
Tucker leans back in his chair and stares at the wall.
ー
Danny was home. That’s the thing. The last time Jazz saw him, he was inside the house, and she never saw him leave. He must have, at some point. She has no idea why, or for what, but he must have. It’s the only rational explanation. Danny left. Something happened. He never came home.
She feels the panic rising, gripping her throat again. She puts the candle down on the bleachers. Wipes her face. Whoever is speaking to the crowd of students holding vigil is a mess of white noise in her ears. It doesn’t help. It should and it doesn’t. A lot of things are the opposite of what Jazz knowsーthought they are.
She almost wishes it had just happened at home, been a little less drawn out.
As soon as it pops into her head, she feels sick, disgusted at herself.
But no one goes missing this long and lives. A very small percentage do. And if it had been some accident in the lab, like she always feared would happen, at least they’d have a body to mourn. At least they would know.
ー
Sam’s parents pretend they aren’t happy. They have to look worried, grieving, because what would the neighbours think if they didn’t? She can see through it, unlike them. They always hated the Fentons. They always hated Danny. They always hated Sam’s fascination with the macabre.
Well. They got what they wanted.
It’s like he’s in everything. She isn’t even looking for him, and he’s still there, still everywhereー
Sam rubs her eyes on her sleeve before she can properly cry. There’s no body. He could still come back. A month is a lot, but he could stillーhe could show up. Someone could find him alive. He could be alive.
Her parents look at her from across the lavish, stupidly large, solid wood table. She should know what type of wood it is but it’s like the information is behind a fogbank. She can see the silhouette. She just can’t make it out. Mom places her cutlery down neatly, dabs her mouth with a cloth napkin, and clears her throat.
“Sammy-kins…” She starts, and the rage inside Sam bubbles up like lava bursting through rock. “There’s been… We…”
She looks to the side for help, from dad. He looks incredibly awkward for a moment before turning to Sam with an expression she hasn’t seen since grandpa died.
“Saman… Sam.” He says, simply, slowly, and the lava in Sam’s gut turns cold, and heavy. “They’ve found evidence that has given them reasons to believe that… your friend is gone.” He’s never spoken this softly. Ever. His voice is barely audible above the blood rushing in her ears. “They’ve called off the search.”
ー
Tucker didn’t expect nightmares. He wakes up and he panic-cries into his pillow and hopes to whatever god or deity is listening that ghosts in dreams aren’t real. He can’t explain the fear. Everything is incredibly normal, more normal than his dreams ever have been, and then Danny walks in.
He would give anything for this to happen, right now, in real life. He’s afraid, though. In his dreams, a sheer terror overcomes him. He can’t get away fast enough. He can still hear his own voice echoing in his head. “You’re dead! You’re dead!”
It’s a wrongness he can’t quite graspーor doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to be afraid of his best friend. Tucker wants him back so badly. But his brain knows the truth, even if Tuck is digging his heels in and refusing to budge.
Someone knocks on his door, and he tenses.
“Tucker, sweetie? It’s…” Mom takes a deep breath. “It’s time to go.”
He grits his teeth and shoves his face into his pillow so hard he can’t get air. He stays like this until he can’t. He gets up.
Tucker walks across the floor like a zombie, barely aware of what he’s even doing. He manages to put on the suit his mom put out for him yesterday, and goes downstairs. He refuses breakfast. The three of themーmom, dad, Tuckerーgo out to the car, and drive to his best friend’s funeral.
ー
Jazz stares at the closed casket. There’s a pair of police officers out of uniform, or maybe detectives, standing in the corner by the photo album laid out on a table looking haunted. Aunt Alicia, uncharacteristically wearing a plain, black dress, sits with mom and dad at the other side of the room. Jazz stares at the casket and she tries to imagine that it’s not empty. That it isn’t making her scream inside with the frustration of it all. Her baby brother is gone. They couldn’t even find him. And probably never will. Because that’s how these things end.
Tucker walks into the room. Dark bags circle his unfocused eyes. His parents are right behind him, his father’s hand on his shoulder. Tucker looks at the casket. He turns away, catching sight of Jazz, and when his parents break off to meet hers, Tucker walks over.
He picks at his sleeves. Says nothing. Jazz tries to pick at the grief counseling she knows she’s studied for fun, but finds herself falling short.
She doesn’t see Sam or Mr. and Mrs. Manson walk in, but suddenly they’re there as well, smiling tightly and giving their condolences to Jazz’s parents. Sam doesn’t walk over. She stands in a corner and stares at a wall with purpose.
Jazz breathes slowly, willing her heart to stop pounding. She counts the stages she can see in front of her.
Too much Acceptance, all from strangers who never even knew him personally. She glances at Dash Baxter, tugging on his tie and looking annoyed. She can feel Anger in her. But also Denial. Bargaining. Depression.
And somehow, Acceptance, too.
They’re not stages. She never really got that before. You feel them all at once, all the time, and they don’t go away. The intensity changes, turning from a background hum to bright bursts of emotion at any little reminder.
She looks at Tucker out of the corner of her eye. She wonders if he’s feeling that way too. Being bombarded by the stages of grief in a way no one prepared them for. Is this why mom and dad never let them get any pets? Besides Danny’s gerbil, which promptly disappeared before she could even get used to the rodent’s smell. What happened to it? Was it rehomed, or is its body still somewhere around the house, unfound, unlooked for?
The stages start over, skipping between Depression, Anger, Denial, the emotions falling over themselves. She wished the cops would leave.
Not soon enough, it’s over. The funeral home employees usher them out, the rooms and halls now empty. The drive home is simultaneously the longest and shortest ever. She stares up at the brick and all she wants to do is sleep. She heads inside intending to do just that.
She takes her shoes off at the door. Mom and dad take off their jacks and move to settle in the living room. Mom is holding a tissue to her eye. Jazz hesitates for just a moment.
Should she do something? She feels like she should do something, anything. She wants to suggest therapy. She’s afraid to open her mouth, though. Jazz can feel the blame on the back of her tongue, ready to spill out. That would be the worst thing for her to do, and she doesn’t know if she has the strength to hold it back, because for fucks sake, if they just watched their children, this wouldn’t have happened.
Jazz turns to the stairs and starts climbing them. She doesn’t get halfway before she’s blinded by drywall dust and knocked off her feet.
#Danny Phantom#Let Grief Do Its Work#i'm surprised the format stayed. i literally just copy pasted the whole thing#me remembering The Gerbil: ohoho yes i can use this for evil purposes#btw this series (extended HOMSH universe) is like. supposed to be funny#but i also was literally so depressed at the time it ended up hella depressing. i don't like. remember anything from that year#HOMSH was a vent fic & then i promptly forgot it existed til i rediscovered it like 4 months later just after the 1st anniversary of. yeah.#i literally have no memory of writing it at all. it was literally like reading someone else's work#i vaguely remember figuring out the panic attack chapter but that's literally it#every time i reread it it's like. an all night affair. i put on Implode Alright by Built by Snow & read it til dawn#& it's funny. but also it's like. yeah. that's uh. that's where my mind was. & it's the only proof i have that i was even alive that year#dont worry i was pulled out of my severe depressive episode a year later when a kitten ran out of the woods & attacked me & stole my hotdog#i still have that half feral kitten. he's a lot bigger now & much more of a baby (only with me apparently though)#he even lets me pick him up without severely injuring me#i should just post HOMSH actually. it's unfinished but like. maybe that'll make me want to#posted this & then immediately got hit with the fanfic author's curse. uh. all my shit might get postponed
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brutally reminded that somewhere out there is a physical copy of an absolutely terrible detective conan genderbend au i wrote when i was like 12
i am not thriving today so here's a tag rant
#i haven't thought about that in YEARS but i'm realizing i do NOT remember trashing the notebook it was in#and it may be at my mom's house#hopefully completely untouched because she got so madddddd when she saw any of my non-school writing as a kid#i may have to sneak off to find and burn it with extreme prejudice next time i'm visiting her#(also your skyler lore of the day: i turned fully anti-religion for myself once my mom started telling me jesus wouldn't approve of my fics#(keep in mind that these were 100% G-rated like i didn't know what any cool teen or adult stuff even WAS yet)#also someone at work got me SICK and i am NOT giving up another writing day this week#so fever-addled me may be about to write several thousand terrible words#but future me can edit that so it's f i n e#ALSO ALSO#tw sa mention in remaining tags!#i stopped on my way home from my trip and jesus fuck you wanna know where i randomly ended up?#8 miles from my rapist's current address#and i ran into 3 of his coworkers in the 30 minutes i took to get lunch#what a terribly small world#(yes i know i should not keep tabs on him but it makes me feel safe to be sure of where he is so stfu on that)
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TWO YEARS
TWO YEARS, ALMOST THREE, AND ONE HUNDRED FORTY-SIX PAGES AND A LITTLE OVER 90k WORDS
and I've finally, finally finished the detailed outline for my fancomic
#for context for anyone who's missed my vagueposting about this project over the many years I've been working on it#this is the second or third draft of the outline (I have. Heavily Edited this document several times hence the 2nd or 3rd)#like I had a first-draft outline that only took about a year to write#the detailed outline is basically just a proto-script w/ an action-by-action for every scene#like all I need are setting descriptions and dialogue and better formatting and it'll be a script#(or if I decide to change the project to a text-based fic--#the detailed outline is basically a shitily-written scene by scene that just needs dialogue and polish)#I do have a simplified outline that I was writing in tandem to the detailed outline so I could keep track of the scene changes easier#that's only 18 pages for the entire story's outline but again it's an Actual outline of the final story skeleton#now I can start writing the script! actually I should write the prophecy that's sort of an important plot device first like#I keep putting off writing the prophecy but it really should get written now that I'm ready to start final drafting phases#but I just finished up the epilogue outline today and holy shit like#I usually give up on projects like this and never finish them I can't believe I've made it this far#still not finished but this is better than I've ever done so I'm still happy#oracle of lore
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my new thing is obsessing over a funny little guy for a few months before moving onto another funny little guy
#random thoughts#my ideal fnaf sunandmoon fic which i will never write because that's where i draw the line#is one in which yn doesn't think sun and moon are. sentient. at first.#and by at first i mean for a large chunk of the story#like yeah he's a robot! he's a very sophisticated piece of ai of course he's gonna be lifelike#sun and moon are designed to learn and adapt and they can SEEM very human but it's important to remember they are not alive#but they still treat sun and moon decently because? why wouldn't they?#like sun and moon are constantly learning ai. it's important to model proper behavior so they know how they and others should act#specifically among freddy's staff! if sunandmoon don't know how staff SHOULD behave then they have no frame of reference#for what behavior should be reported or how sunandmoon are SUPPOSED to act around staff for maximum efficiency#if you get mad at the robot for being damaged and they're designed to entertain#they're not gonna want to tell you next time they get damaged and you can't just rely on scans and weekly examinations#because scans miss things and some damage is too severe to wait for their next examination#in an ideal setting you WANT the animatronics to be able to communicate openly with you because THEY are a tool for their OWN repair#THEY can recognize what is damaged VERY WELL#and if it's a software issue then you need to be able to read their BEHAVIOR. body language and shit#and if sunandmoon are CONSTANTLY ON EDGE AROUND STAFF you're not gonna be able to see a base body language to go off of#also constant stress is bad for machines. like running the same commands over and over again until overheating. bad for babey#and of COURSE they're gonna help around the daycare!!! THE DAYCARE ATTENDANT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A REPLACEMENT FOR HUMAN WORKERS#the daycare attendant is a GIMMICK. a NOVELTY. a TOOL meant for the use of the human daycare attendants#a forever playmate who remembers every detail about every child under their care? who never tires and isn't affected by cleaning chemicals?#they're so USEFUL! a supplement to the human daycare attendant!#like a swiss army knife of rainy day games and orange slices#it's a horrible shame the owners of the pizzaplex got cheap and stopped hiring human daycare attendants to save on labor#because the daycare attendant works best when they have someone else's behavior to model. otherwise it gets caught in a loop#which constantly degrades and simplifies. like recording a recording over and over again until all you can hear is white noise#of COURSE something bad was gonna happen!#and sunandmoon don't really have any opinion on this besides agreeing because they ARE an animatronic.#sunpots and moonpans
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pov: you're Abram when he's about to start writing something
#if no one else got me i know the stupid little note at the top of my draft got me#there are many that I've written that are missingfrom this bc i know for sure i wrote one for every chapter of (wit)jitp#but i write each chapter in the same doc and then move and delete them as i work on the next chapter#so at least 10 me have been lost to time :(#also in case this wasn't clear yes i do genuinely do this most of the time when i start writing the actual stories#usually it's if I've been writing notes especially and want to move on the the story instead#but sometimes I'll just open with it lmao#anyone wanna guess at what stories these are all from? fjjsjxjzj#I've posted about several of them... lemme see...#(wit)jitp#wip: laurent stabs damen#wip: i see you you see me#wip: good omens fic#wip: moon fic#that should be all of them#not in order#shh ac#wip: Amaranthus caudatus
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you ever like... KNOW if you could get over just a wee mental block you could go absolutely fucking HAM on something? like completely batshit?
#for real I'm so serious some advice would be appreciated#I want to write down this long fic involving a romance with crozier but I literally can't decide#whether to do it as a fem reader fic (seeing as that audience is severely underserved in fact I AM that audience)#but at the same time the thematic and cultural specificities kinda mean I'd like to at least invent a last name stand in for the reader#but I know people hate that in reader fic (even though it's kind of silly) so like at that point why not just fully go self-insert or OC?#(probably self insert because if I write it like that it may be very self indulgent but I know it'd be compelling but still)#someone tell me I'm being silly and give me an opinon on which way I should go I'm seriously at my limit#I have been writing BANGER dialogue for it all week but for the life of me I CANNOT work out what perspective to write it in send help
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the hyper-specific totally-not-copying-my-life fandom artist adachi au that lives in my brain ill make u real one day i swear
#thought about it again just now i should really do smth w it#i have like a Vague™ idea so far ill think about it more hmmm#i project onto adachi a lot (like all the time basically) but this is the most its reached#i just think the ''makes irls think im not active on sm at all but i actually have a fandom acc'' thing of mine works with him too#also his artist-y stuff is Severely underexplored and him being a fanartist is perfect in my mind i see it all#i do have 47592 other cm fic ideas to get to but i would like to try working on this one too....#my post
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not to be controversial bc I know this is like…not in line with shifting opinions on fanfic comment culture but if there’s a glaring typo in my work I will NOT be offended by pointing it out. if ao3 fucks up the formatting…I will also not be offended by having this pointed out…
‘looking forward to the next update’ and ‘I hope you update soon!’ are different vibes than a demand, and should be read in good faith because a reader is finding their way to tell you how much they love it. I will not be mad at this.
‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ is also incredibly high praise. I’m not going to get mad at this.
even ‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ is just another way a reader is engaging in and putting thought into your work.
I just feel like a lot of authors take any comment that’s not perfectly articulated glowing praise in the exact manner they’re hoping to receive it in bad faith.
fic engagement has been dropping across the board over the last several years, and yes it’s frustrating but it isn’t as though I can’t see how it happens. comment anxiety can be a real thing. the last thing anyone wants to do is offend an author they love, and that means sometimes people default to silence.
idk where I’m going with this I guess aside from saying unless a comment is outright attacking me I’m never going to get mad at it, and I think a lot of authors should feel the same way. ESPECIALLY TYPOS PLZ GOD POINT OUT MY TYPOS.
#ao3#archive of our own#fanfiction#tbh even if I got a comment that said ‘I hate you I’m going to kill your family’ on chapter 75 it still means they read 75 chapters first….#it just makes me sad to see so many writers shouting into the void#and also see ppl complain openly about the specific types of comments they receive#posting screenshots on Reddit like ‘should I be mad at this’ CALM DOWN#sigh
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