#no stranger will be worse than the people who are actually related to me

[m-has-a-blog]

look, between any random man on the street and my dad i'd rather the rando. one of those people drugged me as a joke and it was NOT the rando

[persianflaw]

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL!

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL! The M*A*S*H fanfiction community has been approved! actually it was approved two weeks ago but i was on vacation

This community is open to any and all fans of M*A*S*H fic. Whether you're a writer, a reader, or a total newbie, this space is for you! You can talk about fics you've loved, ask for advice about a sticky plot point in your latest WIP, ask for recommendations for a ship you like, share an AO3 link to your latest fic, or share snippets from your work; the world is your oyster!

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[lit3rally-m1ke-whlr]

guys I accidentally deleted the essay I wrote in my drafts bc I’m an idiot (I’m crying) so I’m just gonna summarize in less words bc whatever I’m not typing several more paragraphs on this. Anyway I just had to say that I feel like there’s an ableism problem in the Stranger Things fandom. Either that or this fandom just doesn’t like when characters show obvious neurodivergent traits. We see this with El being either infantilized or deemed annoying by fans when she’s clearly developmentally impaired and autistic because she struggles with understanding social cues and just wants to be normal and fit in like everyone else. She was raised in a lab, obviously she’s going to be immature and not have a strong handle on her emotional responses to things, and you don’t have to like her but it kinda sucks that she’s being hated for these things when I can relate to her so much. We also see this with Mike, and I feel like the people calling him the worst character are forgetting he’s literally just a teenage boy dealing with trauma. Like it’s as if they were never a teenager before because trust me I was just like Mike at that age if not worse. I’ll admit I used to hate him too but maturing is realizing the reasons people dislike Mike can easily be explained by either internalized homophobia or neurodivergence. He’s a bad friend? It’s because he’s trying so hard to appear straight and struggles to balance his relationships in a healthy manner, and he often speaks before thinking about how what he’s saying comes across to others, which is something many autistics/ people with ADHD do, not because we mean to hurt others but we can often be blunt or brutally honest and come across as rude (or even just lash out when we feel attacked or hurt as a way to defend ourselves but it often comes out harsher than we want it to) in my experience. He’s a bad boyfriend? He’s actually not and even then it’s because he’s gay and not in love with El but just doesn’t want to lose her. Besides he doesn’t have a great model for what a loving relationship looks like because of his parents so he may not be able to differentiate between romantic and platonic love and stays in a relationship that he’s clearly not happy in because of societal pressure to appear straight and it would be suspicious (in his mind) if they broke up because a) El literally is the coolest girl on the planet, how could he not love her and b) he loses his cover and people might start to notice and question his lack of attraction to girls. But not only that, he clearly struggles with describing and expressing his emotions or recognizing those of others (aka alexythemia) which is common in autistic people. So if he didn’t notice El’s obvious discomfort at the skating rink that’s probably why, and it’s also why he couldn’t tell her he loved her (bc it was a lie but I digress).

But perhaps the best example and the reason I decided to make this rant post is Robin’s character in s4. I remember seeing so many people saying that once the writers decided to make her lesbian they realized they didn’t know what to do with her character, some even going as far as to say they made her ditzy and stripped her of her coolness, which basically proves my point about y’all (as in the fandom in general) not liking ND people because god forbid we unmask around you, it’s no wonder so many of us feel afraid to be our true selves in front of other people. It’s almost as if she was hiding behind a persona to seem more normal and not draw unwanted attention to herself because she’s a lesbian, and once she came out to Steve and was accepted she… didn’t have to do that anymore? She felt more comfortable and safe around him to show her true personality? I don’t know but there’s something off about the way people are acting like she’s suddenly dumb or just there for comedic effect in s4 when she’s literally been so useful like she’s the one who realized music could save victims from being possessed by vecna. She’s literally the same except now she’s out to someone and she gets nervous when it comes to girls she likes, big fucking deal. Not only is this mischaracterization ludicrous and flat out wrong but it’s quite upsetting to see as someone who can relate to Robin in season 4 and is also autistic. Yes, not everyone with autism is like that but some are and to say she’s no longer cool because of it just enforces the perception of autistics as weird and unlikeable just for simply being themselves and makes us feel like we can only be liked or taken seriously if we keep the mask on.

look at me I said I would keep it brief this time but I still ended up writing an entire wall of text on this anyway lol thanks for coming to my Ted talk ig

[vendetta-if]

Please don’t take this the wrong way, because I still think you’re writing is incredible and I look forward to every update, but am I the only one who finds Takeshi incredibly weird? Like he’s got a wife and 3 kids and yet he’s still pining over my dad who’s been dead for years now. It’s time to move on dude, come on.

If he was younger and single then I’d understand, but the way it comes off, to me at least, is pretty emotionally unfaithful. It reads like Takeshi views Viktor as “the one who got away” which is kind of a shitty attitude to have when you’re married with kids. We haven’t even met Rins mom yet and I already feel bad for her lol, this whole situation is uncomfortable.

Anyways, sorry for my rambling and if you got offended I really do apologize, I wasn’t trying to be mean. Good luck on your future writing!

I appreciate you being polite when writing this and don’t worry, I’m not offended 😁 I have talked a little bit more about him and his feelings for Viktor and about his marriage with Azami in other asks, but I realize that some of them, I answered like in the early days of this blog being up (boy, time sure does fly because it feels like yesterday to me 😭) and not everyone will have read all of the related asks.

So, everything is a lil bit more complicated for Takashi than what it might seem like on the surface, and of course, I can’t really put all of this history and backstory in the main story because it’s not focused on Takashi, or Rin, or the Aikawa, and thus, I understand why some people end up seeing Takashi in a worse light. This is, of course, not to say that he is perfect. I feel like no one in my story is perfect, even Viktor himself, and I like to keep it that way. But I hope my long-winded explanation in this post will help you get a clearer picture on Takashi and his complicated love life 😭.

And right now in the story, I’ll say that he has actually moved on from Viktor. Sure he still remembers and mourns him around the anniversary of his death, and talking about Viktor (and Yvette) is still a sore spot for him, but as they say, you don’t really forget your first love. Also, he has fixed his relationship with Azami (thus their decision to have the twins) by the time of the main story and they’re at their best right now and I’ll explain more in details below the cut.

I’ll put it under the cut because it’s going to be a long one as I try to summarize Takashi’s and Azami’s history together and some additional lore stuff for those who are interested.

For starter, his marriage to Azami was an arranged one that both of them didn’t really have any say in it and it doesn’t help that both of them didn’t even have time to properly get to know each other by the time they got married. They were also pretty young (around early to mid 20s perhaps? I don’t have my notes open right now).

It was a… politically strategic wedding that Takashi’s father and Azami’s maternal grandfather arranged.

And additional info since I don’t think I have mentioned this anywhere actually, but Azami’s maternal side of family is a Yakuza clan/family back in Japan and by establishing some kind of family relationship with the Aikawas—who focuses their businesses in the US—they hope to keep the door open for possibilities of expanding their own business abroad in the US through the Aikawas. They haven’t really done that, but it’s nice to already have and secure the connection. And vice versa for the Aikawas if they wanna do some business in Japan.

It doesn’t help that Viktor was literally Takashi’s first love and that they’ve known each other since they were kids. So, by the time of his marriage, Takashi didn’t really have enough time to kind of, let go or grow out of his feelings for his first love and he was basically getting married to a stranger.

But to think that this means that he automatically becomes an emotionally distant husband and father is wrong. He spent time talking and hanging out with Azami (mostly initiating them first because Azami is the more introverted and reserved one in their relationship), trying to build a relationship—that should’ve been built naturally in normal marriages—with his wife. It did end up being more like a platonic relationship at first than a romantic one, but still, Azami appreciated that.

He’s also a good, caring, and warm dad for Rin and he did take care of Rin as much as Azami did. I’ve said this before in another ask, but when she got married to what is basically a stranger, Azami expected the worse and Takashi was a very pleasant surprise for her.

I think along the way, Azami fell in love with him for real first, but the fact that Takashi still saw her more of a platonic partner and still had romantic feelings for Viktor at the time… It did put a strain on their marriage.

But both of them didn’t really give up on their marriage and even though it took years, they slowly work on their relationship. It was not an instant progress but over time, Takashi ends up falling in love with Azami as well and that’s also the reason why they had the twins like more than a decade after they had Rin (The twins are still very young in the story right now).

Rin was born because of both of their families’ pressure and expectation, but having the twins is the decision that Takashi and Azami made themselves out of love.

While his feelings for Viktor is still there somewhere in the background, it’s waay weaker and fainter than when he was younger. Right now in the story, I would say he has moved on, although he still remembers his first love occasionally, especially around the time of his death. After all, they say that you can’t really forget your first love.

But yeah, in the story currently, his relationship with his wife is at its best and he’s living happily with his family.

And while a part of his motivation to get Rin to marry MC is in part to kind of fulfilling an impossible dream of his, it is also just for… practical reasons. The fact is that the Aikawas have a little bit more to gain by tying the Morozovs in an alliance based on blood ties than the Morozovs do. The Morozovs have the stronger manpower and raw force/strength and nowadays, they have decent connections too.

I mentioned this before in the past ask about the two families’ history, but their alliance started out because the Aikawas were having a pretty rough time protecting their turf from the other criminal groups and families back in New York. They mostly have power by accumulating and brokering information and connections, but they’re a bit lacking in like raw force and power, and that’s where Grandpa Morozov saw the opportunity for alliance and went to talk with Takashi’s father. And the rest we know how it plays out.

So, yeah… I think that’s all I have to say in this post and I’ll definitely be referring to this post again if I ever get similar asks. I don’t know whether it helps you understand Takashi a little bit more or not, but I do hope it’s not as black and white as it once was 😅

[ar3s-r4t-qu33n]

Idfc if he's real or not, he's still worse written than Eddie. Also the problem is in his fans that are making him no guilty, innocent baby and always refering that Coyle/Eddie/Everybody else im outlast are the same. And if you think it'll work, try to compare Walker (with PTSD after war) with Franco (who is just a sicko). Anyway Barbi's simps are way more agressive than any other fans when you say something bad, what's a fact, about a grown ass man. I feel like those people are just little kids who are getting upset after school and shouldn't play the game ;) When I see all those comments with "He'S mY PoOkIE" I'm getting sick... Ya'll should get a brain

Guys look!! I got one!!

You don't deserve a response, because if you were old enough to be playing Outlast, you would be able to figure out that shaming people for (checks notes) liking a fictional character in a horror series? Is plain stupid.

It would also serve you well to maybe do some spell check before you come into my asks like this. I'd take you more seriously if you maybe drafted this one more time, but here we go:

First of all, you don't know me. You can check out my like, five posts and see that only two of em are Franco related and none of them baby him. In fact, I don't think I've seen a post yet by anyone who says "Franco is a sweet, innocent baby who did no wrong" because... That's the point. He's interesting BECAUSE he's done shit wrong. We are playing Outlast. Everyone is complex and awful and interesting. Just because not every post is marked with a little footnote that says "oh by the way everyone, Franco is a bad, bad man 🥺 I don't support his actions, I'm not a Franco defender, I just wanted to draw him being silly 🥺" doesn't mean we're all out here claiming he's a saint. The fact that he's a fucked up lil guy is why we like him. I feel like that's a given with all Outlast characters? But that's just me after being a fan of this franchise for years now, idk, being able to step back and analyse a community to see what they enjoy about something is quite a fun and easy task, I recommend giving it a try instead of coming into "loser nobody who has been on Tumblr for like a week's" asks to complain to me like I can put all the Franco fans in the corner until they learn to interpret characters the way you have decided is objectively correct.

But even if they are "babying" him and apparently ignoring that this is the Outlast series and Franco is a character from Outlast... Oh no! What horror! Someone is misinterpreting a VIDEO GAME CHARACTER what a terrible and unique crime!

Franco "just a sicko" Barbi was abused and neglected by his father, his mother was murdered, and he only ever received affection after he killed someone. But yeah, he was just born fucked up whereas every other Outlast character earned their trauma and the right to kill the player. What a senseless and just untrue take and I'm sure you know that, you just want to complain because that's all you people like to do. You want to feel morally superior over someone because you don't understand why they feel the way they do instead of just moving on and ignoring them like any other sensible adult would. Because who's actually getting hurt if some people think Franco is their lil Pookie? Is it you? Does it cause you psychic damage? Because last I checked, this is the internet. We are responsible for ourselves, so unless somebody is actually hurting anyone...

Block the Franco tag. You are brave enough to type out this whole message to a stranger online and act morally superior because comparing which video game character deserves the right to kill you is THE most mature thing in the world, so you're definitely brave enough to block the tag and move on.

You are responsible for what you see online, but ESPECIALLY on Tumblr, it is so so easy to hide content you don't want to see, and mind your own business. Quite frankly, I don't care if I come across as aggressive here. You came into my asks about a tag/fandom you clearly aren't in trying to act like you're better than the rest of us. That's pretty damn aggressive, wouldn't you say?

This is Outlast. A game about fucked up guys doing fucked up shit, and we love them for it. If that is too much for you, if the mommy issues gangster is too crazy for you but Eddie and Trager and Knoth and Coyle are completely fine, no questions asked? I don't think this series is for you. Sexual horror is a staple of Outlast. Childhood trauma is a staple of Outlast. You can't be shocked when people respond to a new character in a video game they like.

YOU are not better than me because you like Chris Walker and I like Franco Barbi. I can't believe you need to be told this, we are all in the same uncomfortable freakshow cesspit that is The Outlast Fandom, no one is morally good. No one is better than anyone else. You cannot claim moral superiority over any character because at the end of the day, I can point to Wernicke and say with my full chest that he is objectively the worst because he's a literal nazi, and what then? Are you going to tell me that Franco is worse than a nazi? The debate is over, in the list of "who is the worst of these awful people", Wernicke wins hands DOWN. The point is null because EVERYONE SUCKS HERE!!! THAT'S THE POINT!!!!

Is that enough for you? Or are you gonna keep harassing people through your alts or getting your friends to do it? I can go alllllll day, baby, you ain't making me feel bad about my interests in the O U T L A S T fandom, dear GOD, this is ridiculous. Don't fucking condescend me, telling me to "get a brain" you don't KNOW ME, I am a stranger to you, why do you feel comfortable coming onto my blog harassing me about a video game character? That's not a good look for you and now it is immortalised here. Anonymous or not, you still did this. Whoever you are, you typed that out and sent it to a random person you do not know and felt comfortable enough to do so.

That's weird.

[pebblepathblog]

13 Shocking Reasons Your True Crime Addiction Will Destroy Your Life (And Why You Should Stop)

How Your True Crime Obsession is Quietly Destroying Your Life and You Don’t Even See It Coming

Confession time, I never thought watching true crime could mess with my head. I mean, what’s the harm in binge-watching documentaries about murder mysteries, right? It’s all “entertainment” until you find yourself triple-checking your locks at 2 a.m. and side eyeing your neighbor’s white van like it’s out to get you.

Sound familiar? Buckle up, because we’re about to dive into 13 under the radar ways true crime obsession can quietly wreck your life, and trust me, it’s darker than the cases you’ve been glued to.

1. You’ve Become the CEO of Overthinking

Ever find yourself mapping out a full fledged escape route every time you hear a creak in the house? Watching hours of grisly stories rewires your brain to expect the worst. Every stranger looks like a potential kidnapper, every shadow hides a serial killer.

Sure, it’s good to be cautious, but hypervigilance isn’t protecting you, it’s exhausting you. Not every white van is out to snatch you, Karen. Sometimes, it’s just a plumber. Relax. (But maybe still lock the door, let’s not go wild here.)

2. Your Sense of Humor is Officially Darker Than a Black Hole

Remember when you could laugh at lighthearted jokes? Now, you’re the person casually dropping murder trivia at dinner. “Did you know the average human body takes two hours to dissolve in acid?” Um, Susan, maybe not during dessert.

Your friends might start avoiding you, not because they don’t love you, but because you’re making them lose their appetite, and possibly their trust.

3. Your Love Life Is a Dumpster Fire

Is it just me, or do true crime fans have the weirdest dating profiles? Between looking for “non murdery vibes” and avoiding “Ted Bundy energy,” it’s no wonder your trust issues are skyrocketing. When you’re watching shows that paint everyone as a psychopath, trusting someone new feels like signing up for doom.

Dating tip: Maybe lead with your favorite hobby besides true crime. Or at least wait until the second date before you start dissecting “the psychology of a killer.” Just saying.

4. You’re Becoming Emotionally Numb

After watching hundreds of documentaries, hearing about a real-life tragedy barely fazes you anymore. “Oh, another murder? Pfft, I’ve seen worse on Netflix.” But losing that sensitivity disconnects you from reality, and from people who need your empathy.

5. You Have a PhD in “Crimeology” (But Zero Real-Life Expertise)

Sure, you’ve memorized the warning signs of a stalker, but don’t let your binge-watching fool you into thinking you’re Sherlock Holmes. Overconfidence in your “expertise” can actually make you reckless. Just because you’ve cracked some cold cases online doesn’t mean you’re invincible.

6. Your Anxiety is Sky High

Raise your hand if you’ve avoided walking alone in daylight because you just never know. True crime bingeing rewires your brain to see danger everywhere, even in safe spaces. If you’ve gone from cautious to full-blown paranoid, it’s time to ask, is this worth it?

If you’re fearful of leaving home and your anxiety has increased, it’s time to take a break.

7. Romanticizing Criminals? Yikes.

Some true crime shows have a knack for making villains look…cool? Before you know it, you’re fascinated by the “charm” of a serial killer instead of being horrified.

Morality check: Crushing on a criminal is not the vibe.

8. Your “Me Time” is Missing

When was the last time you painted, exercised, or did literally anything that wasn’t true crime related? Spending every waking hour immersed in dark stories crowds out hobbies that actually bring joy.

Your mental health deserves more than doom and gloom.

9. You’re Low Key Isolating Yourself

Obsessing over murder cases might make you feel like part of a niche community, but not everyone shares your enthusiasm for grisly details. If friends stop inviting you out because you’re glued to yet another unsolved case, don’t be surprised.

10. You’re Stuck in a Loop

Let’s be real: true crime is designed to hook you. The suspense, the drama, the shocking twists… it’s addictive. But when you’re staying up all night binge watching, it’s your energy and sanity paying the price.

Listening to endless stories of pain and suffering can drain your emotional reserves. Eventually, you’ll feel too exhausted to care about the people who need you in real life.

Protecting your own emotional health isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.

12. Triggering Old Wounds

If you have unresolved trauma, true crime can hit too close to home. What seems like harmless entertainment can end up reopening emotional scars. Take care of your mental health before diving into the next binge.

13. The World Feels Hopeless

Watching true crime can distort your worldview, making everything feel bleak. You might start to believe the world is full of monsters, leaving you disconnected from the good and hopeful moments in life.

Don’t let the darkness of fictionalized drama eclipse the light in real life.

My Final Thoughts

Breaking Free From the True Crime Trap

Look, I’m not saying true crime is evil. But when it starts stealing your joy, your peace, and your trust in the world, it’s time to set some boundaries. Swap a few murder mysteries for a comedy special or a good book. Rediscover hobbies that make you feel alive. Talk to friends about something other than grisly crimes.

Because life is too short to spend it looking over your shoulder.

Share this article with your fellow true crime lovers, and let’s start a conversation about finding balance!

Enjoyed this story? If you love thought provoking stories like this one, make sure to subscribe for more! From heartwarming tales to controversial debates, we’ll keep you entertained and leave you with plenty to think about.

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[seabirdtxt]

Wish Upon

Wanderer takes a chance at catching a fallen star and earning himself a blessing from Celestia. It may be his only true chance at obtaining a heart.

Notes: Stardust AU! no use of 'y/n'. only very vaguely related to actual Stardust, this will veer off into its own thing pretty quickly. :3c

WC. 1.4k

----- ⚘ -----

For as long as he has existed, the puppet has wanted a heart. As time crawls on, he moves from one name to the next, each with its own lived experiences.

He is just a Wanderer, now. After everything, fate decided he still wasn’t done with the world just yet. In the wake of his defeat at the Traveler’s hands, and his subsequent ‘adoption’ by the Dendro archon, Wanderer thought his aspirations of obtaining a heart were behind him.

Until he hears the rumors of a star being knocked loose from the heavens.

There are all sorts of myths attached to falling stars, they are said to be manifestations of Celestia’s favor, granted to those who have earned a boon from divinity greater than even the archons. They come in the form of blessings of strength, in star-forged weaponry, incomparable wealth, and fame. A wish to be granted beyond the bearer’s wildest imagination.

Which is why, when Wanderer sees the star falter in the sky before beginning its descent, he decides he wants that blessing for himself.

The journey to the edge of Liyue is a blur, quite literally in Wanderer’s case as he rides the wind at the fastest speed he could muster. The shine of stargold in the distance growing ever fainter as he races toward it. Dawn is just beginning to break when finally, finally, he stumbles upon the crash site.

That’s where he sees you, standing amidst the rubble and overturned trees, sitting in the glowing crater and cradling a nasty gash on your head. A stranger, with strange clothes, and a strange, dim glow in the morning light.

For a moment he’s angry, wondering how you could have gotten here before him, before he is overtaken by reluctant concern. He allows himself to land, stepping lightly as he comes to your side.

“What’s wrong?” he asks none too gently, uncaring of being rude to a newcomer, and crossing his arms as a frown overtakes his features. He nearly startles when you look up at him, and the light from the rising sun makes it seem like your eyes shine.

“They attacked me,” you explain, sniffing sadly as you rub your injury, spreading blood over your skin with the careless motion. With a noise of disgust, Wanderer reaches down and yanks your hand away, ignoring your weak cry of protest, and cleans the blood from your head with the edge of his own sleeve.

“You’re going to make it worse, idiot,” he scoffs. After he’s sure you won’t try to touch the injury again, he rips a strip from his own sleeve and uses it to bandage your head with perfunctory gestures. When he’s done, he stands up straight and admires his own first aid skills. “Alright, now that that’s taken care of, who attacked you?”

You smile at him gratefully, running your fingertips along the edge of the cloth. You draw your hand away before he can berate you for touching the site again. “There were people, with masks on,” you tell him. “They took something very important from me…”

“Treasure hoarders,” Wanderer guesses, looking over the edge of the crater to see if the group had left any traces. “I’m assuming you’re talking about the fallen star, right? You’re pretty naïve at best to have come out here without a weapon or fighting experience, and you’re an imbecile at worst. Really, you’re just lucky they didn’t kill you outright for your stupidity.”

You don’t respond, biting your lip to hide the tremble as his harsh words wash over you. Wanderer almost falters at your pathetic expression, but catches himself before he can do anything irrational, like try to comfort you.

“It doesn’t matter,” he shakes his head, the bells on his head ringing in the early dawn. He turns and begins walking away with lazy strides. “I took care of you, so stop whining like a baby and go home, already. I’m going to go find those treasure hoarders. See ya.”

“Wait!” He hears you scramble behind him, but he doesn't bother turning around until you’ve caught up. “Wait, I have to come with you!”

Wanderer’s eyes narrow in annoyance. “I promise that you really don’t,” he snaps.

“What are you gonna do with a star-core by itself?” You counter, hands on your hips. “You’re looking to get a wish granted, right? A core on its own can’t do anything, someone has to wield it.”

“You mean like a catalyst?” Wanderer drawls while summoning his own weapon, the bell giving a faint chime.

“Sort of!” You nod hastily. “But each core is keyed to its specific owner, so you won’t be able to use it.”

“And how do I know you’re telling the truth?” Wanderer raises a single eyebrow, feeling the irritation bubble up further inside him. “For all I know, you could be after the star to take that wish for yourself. I won’t babysit you the whole way just for you to steal it from me at the last second.”

“We'll, if I’m lying, you can…” You trail off, gesturing wildly with open palms. “Leave me in the middle of nowhere! You said it yourself, I’m unarmed and helpless, and I have no way of knowing where you’d go. Please? I promise I’ll keep up!”

Wanderer doesn’t move as he gives you a long, considering look. In all honesty, if you do end up trying to rob him he knows you don’t actually stand a chance against him in a fight. The only thing he would have to lose, is time.

“Fine,” Wanderer turns away, resuming his pace. “Don’t slow me down, and don’t annoy me.”

There’s rapid footsteps as you hurry to fall into line beside him. “I get the feeling you’re the kind of guy who’s easily annoyed?” You ask, which Wanderer refuses to justify with a response.

For almost an hour the silence persists, to Wanderer’s relief. Tracking the treasure hoarders is a bit harder than he anticipated, finding traces of several individual groups scattered around the immediate area. Eventually, he deems one group of footprints as the most recent, and begins following them.

Most annoyingly, he cannot fly as long as you’re accompanying him. Well, he could, technically, but what if you’re telling the truth? He may need your help achieving his goal after all, so ditching you would do him no good. Besides, you’ve been behaving yourself so far. Relatively speaking.

He steals a glance in your direction, watching as you pick a leaf off some plant and put it in your mouth. He would be worried about potential poisoning, but he recognizes it as a berry plant, and he lets you chew on the leaf. He looks on with mild amusement as your face scrunches up and you open your mouth to stick your tongue out, carefully peeling the half-chewed leaf out of your mouth and putting it back on the ground.

“Having fun over there?” He asks, snickering as you jump in surprise at his sudden vocalization.

“I thought the leaf would taste as good as the fruit,” you reply with a shrug. “I tried a rock earlier, too, but it was too hard to properly crunch. It tasted like salt, though.”

“Are you a dog?? Stop putting random things in your mouth for no reason.” Wanderer sighs, walking over to you and grabbing your wrist. He drags you over to another plant, this one with a tall cluster of blue flowers on it. He picks a few leaves off and shoves them in your mouth just as you’re about to say something. “Here, have this one.”

He lets go of you as you chew on the leaves, a look of wonder on your face. You give him a broad grin, picking the rest of the leaves off the plant and holding them close to your chest.

“These ones taste good!” You say after swallowing. “What are they?”

Wanderer can only give you a blank stare. “Are you serious? You don’t know what mint is?”

“I don’t know what anything is!” You answer cheerfully, putting another mint leaf in your mouth. “I’ve never been here before!”

“What? You’re kidding, right?” Wanderer thinks he may be in over his head right now. He absolutely did not sign up for this. “But you know what salt is, you just admitted it yourself before!”

You laugh at his disbelieving expression. “Of course I know that! There’s salt in space.”

“Space?!”

“Uh-huh,” you nod quickly, seemingly oblivious to how confused Wanderer is becoming. “That’s where I’m from! You know, because I’m a star!”

You’re a what?!

[bunnies-and-loverboys]

To the (trans)masculine person looking to get into actually wearing lolita fashion

including out and about, and not just in the secret of one’s bedroom

Hi! I’m an average trans guy with a love of lolita fashion and also a big hairy bear body that is very much not a cisgender woman’s body. Here are some pieces of advice I have collected from my time wearing the fashion, that I think can make the experience of wearing the frills a happier one when one is transmasculine, or, frankly, any sort of masculine.

The list is a bit long, so it's under the "read more". Happy reading!

Evaluate what makes you uncomfortable in a gender-related way and what doesn’t, then act in consequence. I know that having long hair and wearing skirts doesn’t bother me, but shaving myself makes me feel quite dysphoric. Thus, I wear my lolita dresses and skirts happily, while sporting a neatly trimmed beard.

Experiment to avoid some bad surprises. Related to the first piece of advice, if you don’t know whether something will make you feel uncomfortable/less manly/dysphoric, try it out in private before you go to an event, to avoid feeling uncomfortable at the event or having to leave before you want to out of discomfort. I wasn’t sure If I’d feel better taking pictures of myself in my lolita coords without a beard or with, so I shaved and tried to take pictures and found that I preferred to sport my facial hair while wearing lolita. While experimenting beforehand won't get rid of ALL bad surprises, it'll already be a good number avoided.

Be ready for things to not fit you as they should or not fit you at all, but do not get discouraged. A lot of lolita clothes are made with a conventional woman's body in mind. If you do not have breasts, you might find that some tops and dresses have weird proportions on you, like the waist of a garment being much smaller than the bust of that garment. In that case, either look for custom sized clothes or get a size bigger than what you’d need and alter it/get it altered to fit you. If you are taller, or broad in the shoulders, or fat, or multiple of those qualifiers, it will be harder to find lolita clothes that fit you, but there are options. Some brands have wider ranges of size or provide custom sizing; turn to those. Don’t beat yourself up about smaller clothes not fitting you, although I know it is hard when you really like the design of something and it doesn’t come in your size; some people alter things that don’t fit them to make them bigger, though, so not all is lost. If you want to start making your own lolita clothes, go for it, it is not seen as a bad thing, in fact, most people I’ve met found it really cool.

Be prepared for strangers to be weird about lolita fashion. That may come in the form of being asked strange questions (“Are you a boy or a girl? Is this a regional costume? Is it cosplay?”) or in the form of people looking at you weird and whispering among themselves, or in some cases even heckling or worse. Some may opt to do specific things for peace of mind. For instance, when commuting in lolita fashion, I wear a face mask and long socks to get less attention about my facial and body hair. It is also good to be in groups while commuting, or at least with one other person you know. If people are weird to you, remember it's them being weird and not your responsibility for them being weird; you're just out and about wearing clothes.

Be prepared for people to assume that you are a woman if you are not displaying any conventional outward sign of masculinity while wearing lolita fashion. For some people, I understand that it may be a dealbreaker, especially if you are a transgender man who has spent a lot of time and effort into be recognized as a man publicly. Personally, while I don’t like it, I understand that they are rarely blessed with meeting someone who wears lolita fashion, much less men doing so, and do I consider it a fair, if unfortunately wrong, assumption. Additionally, be prepared for people to assume that you are a transgender woman if you are displaying outward signs of masculinity while wearing lolita fashion. Most people who aren’t super informed about queer people know of transgender women more than they know of gender-non-conforming transgender men, and some more bigoted people will lump cis queer men and transgender women together arbitrarily in their refusal to understand more about transgender people or queer people in general. While being a transgender woman is not an insult (though some people may try to make it one, in less elegant terms), you can politely inform them that you are a man if it suits you to do so, or ignore them and go about your day.

Wearing lolita fashion as a man is definitely intimidating, but if you love the way it looks and find ways to make it work for you, and you have fun wearing it, then you’re doing it right. Lolita fashion is about unashamed joy in pretty details, and anyone of any gender has a right to unashamed joy in the garments they want to wear. A lot of lolita fashion wearers I have met welcomed me gladly upon seeing me genuinely enjoy the fashion, and a number of them are queer themselves, although most often women. So, there’s room for men in lolita fashion, and let us never forget that Mana, the icon himself, is, after all, a man (although not the big and hairy variety).

I haven’t seen a whole lot of men rocking the fashion, and even less the ones with a bear physique, but I hope this encourages anyone who has been wanting to try, but felt intimidated by it, to give it a shot!

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Thoughts on “Loser Baby”

—TW: talk about sexual assault/self-blaming for SA/internalized victim-blaming

I watched episode 4 of Hazbin. Warning that this will be partially more of a personal vent as well.

In regards to everything with the discourse surrounding episode 4–The arguments on Threads and all the talk about depiction of sexual assault and abuse. Well, it’s made me reflect a bit on my own assault.

And what made me reflect on it more than anything wasn’t actually “Poison”, although I will talk about my personal feelings on that later, it was “Loser, Baby”

I want to talk about my thoughts on the song—but before I do I’m going to talk briefly about my experience with sexual assault.

If I’m being honest, I feel like I have to bring it up. With all the contention surrounding the episode, I’m worried that if I try and just give my opinion, fans of the series will try and “disprove” my feelings or opinions on the song and episode.

Or say that I’m shutting down victims, even though I’m just trying to talk about how the song made me feel in relation to my own experience with sexual assault.

So. Here we go.

Final tw—talk of sexual assault/groping/internalized victim-blaming

I hesitate to even call it an assault, because I was groped, and I feel guilty calling it that. Like, there are victims who have been actually physically assaulted and raped and had it so much worse, and so I don’t have the right to call it “assault”.

Maybe I minimize it because it makes it less scary, the idea that there are people who just believe they can do whatever they want to you and your body. I don’t, and won’t, call myself a survivor because I just can’t when I think about everything others have had to go through and still survive. All I had to survive was the shame of what happened to me, and the shitty hangover I had the next day.

Anyway.

When I living abroad as a teacher, I was groped by a stranger multiple times while I was out drinking with coworkers. I didn’t speak the local language fluently. I’m pretty sure I was 24.

At the time I was really really drunk. I don’t remember a lot of that night, just that every-time I got up from our booth to go to the bathroom or get a drink this old man at the bar kept touching my ass.

And I remember not understanding what was happening at first, and then slowly realizing the situation. After that I know I drunkenly I told him off to his face angrily. I remember shouting “I do not forgive you” in the local language. I remember storming outside the bar. I remember that when I was screaming at this man who believed he had the authority to touch my body without my consent, he was smirking and smiling at me, unimpressed by my indignation.

My coworkers came outside and asked me if I needed a taxi to get home but I was so embarrassed that I said I was okay and walked home. I called my friend who was also a foreigner like me and told her what happened. I talked to her most of the walk home, and she comforted me and distracted me by telling me about her day when I asked her to.

I remember as I got close to my apartment I finally fell apart. I just have this memory of leaning up against a telephone poll down the street from my apartment building and sobbing against it. It was probably somewhere between 1 and 2 in the morning, and I had never felt more alone in my life.

I felt so embarrassed and so so stupid. Like. Why had I decided to drink that much? If I hadn’t I would’ve been able to tell what was going on sooner. Maybe I could have stopped it! Maybe the guy wouldn’t have touched me at all if I had been sober! I felt humiliated and violated and like I had made a fool of myself.

In short. I felt like a loser.

What I’ve come to realize since then is that no. I am not a loser. I didn’t do anything wrong that night.

It was the man that groped me, the man that wrongly believed he had a right to touch my body wherever he wanted, who was the loser.

I think that’s why the song “Loser Baby”, to me, is so so much worse than anything Poison could have portrayed. And why it feels so so unnecessarily hurtful.

I don’t want to “reclaim” the feeling I had that night. I want to scream and scream and scream at the man who assaulted me until his head pops like a balloon.

I want to tell EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Who has ever been touched or groped or assaulted or worse that, no, it’s not your fault. It will never be your fault. You did not do anything wrong. You are not to blame for this. You are not a loser, and you have nothing, nothing, NOTHING to be ashamed of.

And. I think I also want to somehow minimize what happened, because I know that worse has happened to other people.

When I think about this—and don’t worry, I think about it very rarely now—but when I do, a part of me says “you’re complaining about that? A couple of ass pats and grabs? What’s wrong with you? Other people have been raped! What you went through was nothing! Quit whining and feeling sorry for yourself”

And the same way I try to minimize my own feelings and pain about when I was sexually assaulted, Husk minimizes Angel Dusts feelings and trauma around his abusive relationship. I realized that was a big part of why the song upset me so much too.

In the show Husk sings to Angel about how he’s being a baby. About how he’s whining and lots of people have it bad or are also in shitty situations and are losers so he should embrace it. That they’re losers together!

Except after seeing the beginning of the episode and after seeing the montage of abuse Angel went through in Poison, I don’t want him to think he’s a loser. He’s not. He’s not sloppy seconds, he’s not used goods, or a degenerate, or a cum-dumpster, or “problematic”.

He’s not those things to me anyway. To me, he’s an abuse survivor who deserves love and respect and to be told that he is not to blame for his abuse.

And I really don’t think the intent behind the song was to say that he is all those things and that he is truly a loser. At least. I hope that wasn’t the intent. But I personally have a really REALLY hard time interpreting it any other way.

If the song makes you feel empowered, or safe, or anything positive, I want you to know that I am truly, truly not trying to take those feelings away from you. Nothing I say can invalidate your feelings, your opinions, your passion for things you love. Please remember that.

I’m just talking about my experience and my own feelings regarding the song and the episode. And well.

It made me feel real bad.

(Final note—it’s okay to reblog this—but PLEASE do not use it as a way to shut survivors or victims who feel differently than me down. Please don’t use it to invalidate anyone’s feelings or opinions. I wanted to share my feelings here, because I felt strongly about doing so, because I felt like maybe I was just crazy and the only one feeling hurt by this at all, and because I knew if I didn’t get them out somewhere I was just going to fester on them until I got even more upset.)

[halfetirosie]

☁︎✴☁︎ KUYA IS THE WORST THERAPIST OF ALL TIME!!!!! ☁︎✴☁︎

(Elysium 10-11 React-os!)

Fair warning, I'mma be a bit of a hater in this one...🤦‍♀️

1) KUYA, WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!

First of all: kidnapping is fucking ILLEGAL!

Second: this is just too far. It's already bad enough that Olivine will have to answer embarrassing questions in front of an audience, but having to do so in front of the kids--????

I was rooting for you, Kuya! But then you go and be a dick again!!!!

😡

2) Damn, what an awful way to die....

I HATE bugs, they're so gross---

Plus, this situation is already ASTRONOMICALLY STRESSFUL; having a big, ugly, threatening bug crawling all over you will make it even worse!!!

3) My thoughts exactly, Eiden!!!!

Why is Eiden the only sane person here???

It seems like Kuya have set things up to be as agonizing as possible, and that just feels EVIL to me.

This is why I really hate that damn fox sometimes. He keeps causing genuine pain to people, hitting them right where it hurts, and it's [at least partially] only for his own entertainment.

4) (｡Ó ᗣ Ò｡)

Olivineeee, sweeetieeeee!!!! Come here and give me a hug!!!!

This is so depressingly relatable.... Amiright, fellow degenerates? 😅 Gotta laugh about it or else you'll cry...

Olivine is really GOING THRU IT. I can't imagine having to admit something like this to my family/friends!

I am so fucking stressed!!!!

5) FUCK!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!

LISTEN. I GET THAT OLIVINE NEEDS TO FACE HIS FEELINGS PROPERLY INSTEAD OF AVOIDING THEM. Aside from the damn fox's entertainment, that is what "the point" of this trial is.

Accepting your feelings is necessary for healing.

But you know what doesn't have a point? FORCING OLIVINE TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION IN FRONT OF THE MOST FRAGILE AND INNOCENT PEOPLE IN HIS LIFE, WHOM HE REALLY CARES ABOUT!!!!!

I feel like I'm just repeating myself at this point, but seriously, this is so fucked up! If I were Eiden, I probably would've interrupted and tried to end this shitty trial, too...

6) Kuya, you are seriously such a dick....

I think Kuya is partially up to his Tsundere Bullshit™ again; I think he's pretending to be casually "observing" things when really, he's searching for some sort of answer. (After all, this is the same dude that has been alive for longer than we can imagine, and has struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past)

The reason he calls the trial participants "boring" is likely because they didn't give the answers Kuya wanted---I suspect that this trial has served as Kuya's fucked up way of searching for meaning in life.

But what really pisses me off is the demeaning way he talks about humans; even now, during a trial whose questions focus on one's true desires and personal values.

HE'S the one always prattling on about how humans shouldn't judge himself, a yokai, by human standards. And yet, he doesn't have the decency to do the same???

Humans live a much shorter time than him, after all. Of COURSE they'll put value in different things than him; especially if they're someone who frequently spends time in a red light district.

That might be why he assumes Olivine's morality is a "mask," but at the same time, he actually knows Olivine personally (at least, to some extent), unlike the strangers he's tested in this "trial."

I don't think I can give Kuya the benefit of the doubt anymore. This lack of empathy isn't "out of his control," IT'S A FUCKING CHOICE. AND THAT IS WHY I'M ANGRY!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Kuya shouldn't be allowed to conduct this "trial." This "trial" shouldn't even exist. What HE needs---what Olivine needs---what EVERYONE needs---IS SOME ACTUAL PROPER THERAPY!!!!

7) CONFIRMED: Eiden is me in this event

Is this hinting that this whole trial is an illusion, maybe?? As in, there isn't actually an audience here??

Honestly tho, at this point, that doesn't even matter to me. Kuya is still being a dick and putting Olivine through HELL, and it is so unnecessary!!! 😡😡😡

8) It just keeps getting worse and worse...

Watching this trial is giving me such intense second-hand fear/sadness, bro---I'm crying very real tears. It's literally hurting me.

This really didn't need to be done in front of an audience, dude... Shit like this is SUPER private. It shouldn't be made into a spectacle like this...

BITCH, KUYA MADE OLIVINE CRY!!!!!!!

(｡Ó ᗣ Ò｡)

WHY!!!!

THE FUCK!!!!!

DID HE HAVE TO DO THIS!!!!!

LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!

9) HELL YEAH, OLIVINE!!!! PREACH!!!

I can't believe we went through all of this just so Olivine could give the most obvious answer of all time---

⊹ ࣪ ˖♡ LOVE ♡⊹ ࣪ ˖

That's also the answer that our foxy bitch friend was really searching for...

10) OH FUCK, THANK GOD!!!!

I AM SO FUCKING RELIEVED, THE KIDS WERE JUST ILLUSIONS!!!!

I don't forgive Kuya for pulling that stunt, tho. I stand by my opinion that it was COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.

11) TRUTH:

It's honestly kind of wild to see Olivine explaining the value of love to a mean old foxy grandpa, but hey, here we are!

It's Olivine's turn to be the therapist! The right way!

:D

12) You're a much more patient person than me, Olivine...

(ᵕ—ᴗ—)

I held on for as long as I could, but I can no longer be generous when his antics cross a certain line... I'm giving this fox the silent treatment for the next three weeks!!

13) *heavy sigh*

Yeah, that's true...

Olivine and Kuya actually have a fair bit in common, when you think about it; specifically, their history with Depressive Episodes and--as Olivine puts it here-- their "struggle to live."

I think the main difference is, because of Kuya's long-ass life, he's much more set in his ways; thus, it's harder for him to let go of his destructive tendencies.

He may not be as violent as he used to be, but he still has a terrible habit of emotionally harming others...

Do I think this excuses his behavior? No.

Do I think he deserves another chance; to be treated with compassion and helped? Yes.

But he ALSO deserves to see some actual consequences for his actions.

☁︎ End of report ☁︎

[brunhielda]

As I am unable to indulge in my yearly Independence Day tradition this year, I instead reccomend it to total strangers on the internet.

(If you are reading this and it is not July 4th, USA, this is still a decent recommendation in general)

Watch 1776, the movie musical from 1972. (It is available on Amazon and Apple TV for less than $5, and is free with Hulu)

“Why?” I hear you ask, “would I watch that old thing when I have Hamilton?”

Firstly- I will not compare quality. The two shows are apples and oranges and the only thing they have in common is the subject matter being the Revolutionary period of the USA.

I will openly admit that Hamilton has much more dynamic staging/dancing, and there is simply no rap to be heard in 1776.

That said, reasons you absolutely SHOULD watch it:

1) You have already seen Hamilton. Presumably you have not seen 1776. It will be something new.

2) The line “Sit down John, you old f-!” from Hamilton is a reference to this musical, so you know Lin Manuel Miranda is a fan.

3) The main character, John Adams, is played by a much younger William Daniels. You may know him as “Mr. Feeny.” And yes. He is glorious.

4) You will enjoy such fun quips as-

“I have better things to do than stand around listening to Benjamin Franklin quote himself.”

“Hold on John- that was a new one!”

(Arguing with God)

“A simple plague of locusts I’d accept with some dispare. But no, you gave us Congress! Good God Sir, was that fair?”

“May my horse be turned to glue if I can’t deliver unto you a resolution on Independancy.”

(Said horse- a paid actor- turns around to bite him)

Jokes from old congressmen about being so old it hurts to piss.

Jokes about bull testicles.

(Refusing to help write the Declaration)

“I cannot write with any style or proper edicate! I don’t know a participle from a predicate! I am just a humble cobbler from Connecticut.” (He is so relatable for that. The whole song is one big- everyone is trying to ditch this “group” project)

5) Thomas Jefferson being too horny to work is a major plot point.

6) The most romantic subplot in this film, and I mean, actually beautifully romantic, is John arguing with his wife, Abigail, via letters. Best part about that is these parts are straight from their real historical letters. Perfect in every way. 🥰

7) The discussion on Slavery is intense. I will say this version of events paints Jefferson rather rosy, but it was written before we knew what we knew about him, and he is documented as fighting hard to end slavery with the founding of the nation. It is bizarre, knowing that, that he continued on in the manner he did. People are multifaceted, and some just get worse with age.

But the part in this movie that is worth watching is the argument the South gives back. Thier argument is basically “If we are sinning by this practice, then you are sinning with us, because you benefit.” While it is a lack luster argument to keep doing as you are doing, it does allow a nuanced understanding of privelege before the term was even used in that manner.

It also delivers a bone chilling example of the triangle trade in the form of a song that has haunted me since childhood.

“Molasses to rum to slaves. Who sails the ships out of Boston? Laden with bibles and rum? Whose fortunes are made in the triangle trade? Hail Charleston! Hail Boston! Who stinketh the most?”

8) “Cool Considerate Men” is also bone chilling, as a bunch of conservative congressmen dance calmly while listening to a casualty report from Washington. The song will never not be relevant.

9) In the same way, “Mama Look Sharp” will always always bring me to tears. It is a song from a Messenger Boy sent with Washington’s missive from the front. He sings about his friend calling for his mother as the young boy lay dying on “the green.”

The green was where people held meetings and parties and festivals- the green is the old fashioned version of “the Town Park.” The first battles for freedom were faught in town parks, where boys crawled off under thier favorite tree to die.

In light of everything that we have heard about fighting for freedom around the world, the line “The soldiers they fired! Oh Ma, did we run. Hey! Hey! Mama, look sharp,” is making me cry right now, and I haven’t even heard this song in a year. 😭🎶

10) “Is anybody there??? Does anybody care?! Does anybody see what I see? I see Americans, ALL Americans, FREE, forever more! Is anybody there??? Does anybody care?! Does anybody see what I see?”

The older I get the more I relate to John Addams screaming into the void because he simply cannot fix all the problems by himself.

There is more I could say about this musical, but at that point it would just be telling. Go watch the film. It’s funny and fun and poignant and powerful, and might make you cry. As good broadway often does.

[shadystranger]

"The fandom unnecessarily villainizes sam and dean for choosing each other over strangers when it's literally how humans work" great critic but I actually think the fandom (those interested in the brothers' relationship) are reacting to it how they're meant to: in a negative light.

To trace things back, yes, it's a given, kind of an innate human nature to respond in situations by prioritizing the people you know over ones you don't. That is true. On an individual basis, each person would do this, I would do this, and anyone'd be crazy to villainize this act on my and your part. But sam and dean do it, and it's painted in this hyperbolic moral degeneration light both by the narrative (we could argue) and by the fandom. Because see, sam and dean are a little different than you and me.

They're positioned in their world as tragic heroes who, given the nature of their job, are expectedly deprived of things the normal person could enjoy. They don't get to lead normal lives, they don't die by natural causes, and they must navigate through life bearing more than they must know with soul-crippling responsibilities. "We're the people who save the world," sam and dean don't spend much time before they assume the token role of saviors in their world. Along with that role comes even more imposed limitations.

They are more viscerally equipped and knowledgeable. They have access to things randoms could never dream of having (like death and god). The more you know, the worse you sleep and comes with the mere knowing is the obligation to do something about it. Someone ignorant to the whole ordeal simply doesn't have to answer to it.

Basically, they're soldiers. Imagine samdean reporting for duty, they preserve peace of the public and their blind following to decision moral rightness is taken for granted. It comes with the job. You don't get to make ill-advised progress in your self-interest as a person (sth random ppl can enjoy) when several lives are at stake.

At some point, sam and dean themselves are metaphoricaly acting Gods: people's survival or death depends on them. Sometimes, it's a city's worth of population. Other times, it's the entire world. Their right to free-decision making stops depending only on its virtuous intent and starts being consequential. They're elevated to adhere to higher standards and criteria than normal people are held to.

The rightness of their actions will not be determined among a set of feasible options but instead assessed by whether they chose the option with the best consequences. Or not. The main decision-making factor for "heroes" like them should be putting the general welfare at its fore interest. Not one individual's. Especially not if it's one individual's.

When dean and/or sam sacrifices someone stranger to save his brother, it's a subjective good call I can relate and see myself in it, but given their position within the universe it's irresponsible and far objectively wrong; especially if at the cost of saving his brother, several others suffered.

There are criteria for judging the actions of the pivotal role they uphold. From a subjective moralness standpoint, sam and dean are only humans, and they can be cut some slack or even not at all villainized for doing what their instinct demands. On the other hand, moral objectiveness influenced by the world-setting's structure deems the goodness or badness of how they behave based on the particular consequences of their given actions and whether said actions affected people in good or bad ways. If sam and dean did something that brought peace to the world on the whole and reduced suffering, it's good and logical, whereas if said action caused suffering and threatened peace, it's bad.

dean grudgingly accepting sam’s plan to overtake lucifer even though it meant losing his brother is the objectively morally good choice to make. He had to sacrifice his precious family, but he ultimately was rational and responsible enough to know his brother's life is not a fair trade-off to millions. both sam and dean here act in accordance with their positions within the story/world: they're heroes. But by S8 dean doesn't let sam make a similar sacrifice. He prioritizes sam's life over the many who'll be possessed and will either kill others or be killed themselves. sam releases a world-ending evil to save his brother, and later on, both take turns facilitating the guy who practically promises them an apocalypse to once again save each other.

"The good of any one person is no more important from the point of view of the universe than the good of any other." sam or dean's lives aren't more important than someone else's, this was a point so base sam felt the need to make because it needed to be addressed, their lack of changing anything about it is another matter. Thing is they're the world's designated saviors be it by choice or not, the narrative views them as the fact, they're expected to value the well-being of all individuals equally, regardless of their personal closeness. Imagine a firefighter postponing saving you because someone he knows is more important even when the situation for them is not as grave as you. It'd be unethical and worthy of condemnation because in this line of work, and in general when your job is saving people and work towards the greater good, you do it indiscriminately, you don't get to privilege the well-being of yourself or your family over the well-being of distant others.

sam and dean hold a rightful consequentialist commitment to their actions being as good as possible: the basis on which one outcome is better than another is only if it contains a greater sum total of people's betterment. No impartiality.

Yes, it's his brother, his only family, but it's still morally wrong to prioritize him (in their case). Let's use a patriotism allegory. Imagine a general of a losing army. He catches wind of the enemy's secret bases or is exposed to confidentials enough to turn the tide to his side. However, he finds out his family at home is being held hostage. The moment he reveals what he knows, they get killed. A man has to save his family it's the most basic human instinct, yes, but you'd think it's irredeemably wrong for him to prioritize his family in this case. You'd think he doesn't even have the right to choose when it's a choice between two insignificant people and the entire country being infiltrated and invaded, with the deaths of million soldiers and citizens. It's not even a choosing matter. sam and dean are the general in this scenario, and instead of the country being at stake, it's sometimes the entire population they're throwing to the fire for each other. Anyone'd think it's messed up. You're supposed to.

There is a good reason to save your family (brother) over a stranger (or two, or hundred or million); but labeling both actions as right would risk ignoring the important moral difference between the two. And we need to draw an account of what a hero is obliged to do in order to meet minimal moral standards. sam and dean's constant moral failure to meet such standard despite their role in their universe paints them as flawed, sometimes as the story's designated antichrist.

Their ceaseless prioritizing of themselves marks their moral debauchery and decline as heroes. they get away with not fulfilling their obligations that are thrust upon them by design, they're using a cheat code acting not how they're supposed to and that's the characters/narrarive's grip with them. I don't blame corbin for what he did, while It’s extremely wrong that he tried killing sam, it was a call for survival. Your savior normally doesn’t come with conditions. He was faced with an oddity from the typical rescue mission. And he did what he had to ensure the more number of people survives. We sympathize with sam and dean, so we criminalize corbin immediately and side with dean. We're swept by emotions and our judgment is clouded you could say but from a utility standpoint, dean's decision to stay with a dying sam would've lead to four people's death, or three and one heavily wounded meanwhile corbin's leads to three people's survival and the loss of one. With corbin, more lives are saved, with one unfortunate but necessary sacrifice. Morally and objectively, corbin was more right in choking sam than dean was in staying.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

this probably because had too many people don’t know & tell me they relate & they know exact what feel like have similar disability & make assume & then lead to speak over, when turn out have complete different experience or even complete different disabilities. so many take advantage of me, many people in many different places online in person in disability spaces in non disability spaces. but.

really. really truly. hate when people (other than close people & people who know for sure have similar experience, but only in specific situation specific exception), people who not know, people who never met, people who met but not close—

when they say they relate to me about disability, say “oh me too,” or react like they know exact what mean.

even include, maybe they truly relate. like when me passing mention own AAC issues how it pain in butt sometimes, someone who stranger who just met who say “oh yeah when i used AAC—“ (for example part time user). some experience most affect full time users but others really just anyone who used AAC may know, so truly may be relate, but still get super annoy when tell me. because. don’t know you. who are you. because just know there slew of assumption they making inside head.

because, spaces am in, often people never seen true severe disabilities. if they ever met AAC users, it going be people who sometime use AAC. which nothing wrong with that. but get annoy when they assume am also one of them, because those are only type they ever see, only type ever in their world, & never try seek out anything else. they also automatic assume am only use AAC now because talk hard right now, or worse, because “going nonverbal.” even when say “am nonverbal,” lot them automatic assume mean “going nonverbal” & not even question that assumption.

“talk also get hard for me sometimes too” this not what this is.

am nonverbal can’t fucking talk.

so yeah relate inside head do whatever. sometimes true genuine relate. but 95% time when people actual write/say out loud they relate. it no where near, & just full their assumption. so, really hate when people don’t know well, tell me they relate.

this not educational post this not “do not tell full time AAC user you relate if you not one” etc etc it just personal talk. honestly don’t even expect anyone remember this & follow through it. other full time AAC users may be opposite & get really happy when someone say relate & used AAC before.

&. this not just about my full time AAC.

[dandylovesturtles]

Hello, Wheelchair Annon here again (my sister parked me in the corner). I hope you don’t mind me chiming in again…

One of the biggest things that changed from being able bodied to being in a wheelchair is other people’s attitudes towards me. This is in two main ways:

Talking to whoever is with me instead of talking directly to me, even if it’s about me. People act as if I am mentally incapable and unable to participate in conversation, or even just act like I’m not there.

No respect for my personal space. I’m talking random strangers and people I barely know doing stuff, usually without even talking to me. This has included: someone coming up behind me and rocking my wheelchair back and forth; someone hanging sitting behind me hanging their jacket on the handles of my wheelchair; leaning on my wheelchair while in a lift; and messing with the controls of my electric wheelchair so I move even when I don’t want to.

How does Leo cope with this change in attitude towards him? (Does it actually happen, or are Yokai more egalitarian?). Leo considers himself the face man; how does he cope when other people don’t see him in the same way anymore? How does he cope when other non- human people don’t always see him as a person? (And does this factor into any issues he may have vis-a-vis growing up as a non human in a human world for the first 14 years of his life?)

(Also, I have a bunch more stuff I can think of relating to wheelchair use, being disabled, chronic fatigue and other stuff, but I really don’t want to overwhelm you. Would you like me to keep asking/pointing out stuff? I will not be offended if you say no!! <3)

Anon, PLEASE feel free to keep sending me these! Whatever you feel comfortable sharing! Like I said at the beginning of this, I'm able-bodied myself, so I can research all day but it's not the same as having lived experience, and I'm really grateful for your perspective! ^^

I've heard the horror stories from other wheelchair users about people just thinking they can do whatever they want with wheelchairs (which is insane to me, like, if you wouldn't rock a chair a stranger is sitting in why would you do that with a wheelchair??), it's why I included the whole point about how only the fam (+Hueso who is very responsible) is allowed to grab Leo's wheelchair handles without repercussion. It's still crazy to me that people just feel entitled to move your wheelchair or hang stuff off of it, though.

The thing about people no longer talking directly to you though, oof. I've heard people who are deaf talk about this happening but it makes sense that it would happen to wheelchair users too. I'm sorry that happens to you, anon.

To answer the questions... to start with, I don't think being accepted by humans is ever really a thing rise!Leo is particularly concerned with, and especially after they learned about yokai and the Hidden City he had other ways to fulfill his social needs that don't involve trying to get humans to accept being around mutant turtles. There is that little voice in the back of his head pointing out that he is Other, but in canon at least I don't think he lets it get him down too much.

as for yokai society itself, though, this is an interesting thing to think about! on one hand, yokai have a much greater mix of... appendage situations?? going on than humans do, so I wouldn't be surprised if the Hidden City is generally more accessible, just because shops are already factoring in that some of their customers won't have legs/arms/what have you. on the flip side, though, the chair itself is a pretty obvious visual indicator that even for his species Leo is disabled, and that would probably still lead to people talking to his siblings like he isn't there.

this would definitely be a hit to Leo's confidence, since it ties into the things he already struggles with. and to make things worse, I think it's one of those things that his family probably doesn't even realize is happening at first? especially because the experiences are spread around, so they're all getting fewer instances of it happening to notice than Leo is. but yeah I could see one of them going through a whole conversation without realizing that the person they're talking to hasn't talked to or directly responded to Leo once, and at the end they're like, "oh, they're so nice!" while Leo is sitting there feeling like he just got completely closed out of the conversation

I think Leo would just let it go for awhile at first. why would people want to talk to him, he's the failure brother! he may not even realize it's just a response to the wheelchair, initially. but as Leo gets healthier mentally (and maybe finds some community support, either online or in person), he'd start sticking up for himself more often.

I can imagine one day someone asks Raph, "Oh, how is Leo?" and Leo is like, "Leo's great, actually, his ears work just fine!" and that's the moment Raph realizes that this has been happening the whole time and for awhile Leo just let it happen and oops they just let it happen too

they are learning, though! nowhere to go but up!

[cienie-isengardu]

Zuko’s stealing habits in Book 2: Earth

Rewatching ATLA made me realize how Zuko stealing food in Book 2: Earth is always related to Iroh and never directly to his own hunger. 

Let me explain.

There is no doubt that being a fugitive takes a toll on Zuko and he absolutely despite that Iroh begs strangers for money, like he did in “The Swamp” [s02e04]. But once he use the Blue Spirit mask to steal food from people in Avatar Day [s02e05], we don’t see him eating it - and as much as there is no reason to think he didn’t do that offscreen, it allows the visual storytelling to highlight that the food was intended for Iroh.

Iroh was suspicious about where the food came from and what Zuko did to get it, but once he took a bite, it is easy to tell that whatever Zuko stole was something pretty good. We have no idea if he picked that food specifically for its taste or if it just turned out to be good luck.

Before Iroh even had a chance to eat, Zuko already walked away from the man while not taking anything at all from what he gave to his uncle.

Later in the same episode, the next time Blue Spirit was shown, he was attacking some rich guy and stealing money. His activities lead to improving Iroh and Zuko’s living conditions, as we can see they have now meat and Iroh got a whole new tea set.

We again do not see Zuko eating anything from what he stole - and again, no reason to think he didn’t eat at all, but the visual part is focused on Iroh’s comfort represented by the new tea set, as Zuko is still not a fan of tea himself at this point of story.

So, Zuko was stealing to improve his and uncle’s situation which shows how much he cared for Iroh to provide him things the older man enjoys but also how much Zuko disliked their new life. However, what is interesting, in “Zuko Alone” [s02e07], Zuko didn’t steal at all, even though he was in a much worse state than in “Avatar Day”.

After a long journey, we literally can see how much he lost weight/strenght due to fatigue and hunger

but despite having an empty stomach, he resigned from a chance to steal the food once he noticed that it was intended for a pregnant woman.

Later, Earth Kingdom’s family offered him a free meal for keeping their kid out of trouble - something Zuko refused at first. The mother made a deal with him, he will help her husband repair a roof and they will offer him in exchange meal and a place to sleep and this is the agreement Zuko accepted.

Considering Zuko’s skills and experiences as Blue Spirit, he could easily get money or food during his journey the way he did in past, but as far as this episode showed, he did not and ultimately fought only to protect people who were kind to him - and who once learning about his Fire Nation ethnicity immediately asked Zuko to leave.  

Zuko again stole food in "The Serpent's Pass" [s02e09], when he reunited with Iroh and both were sailing to Ba Sing Sai on a ship full of refugees. Here they met Jet who told them how the captain ate well while refugees got only rotten scraps and invited Zuko to help him break into kitchen.

When alone with uncle, Zuko openly complained about their situation, however once Jet approached them, Zuko kept his back to the man and did not try to interact much. It was actually Iroh first, who got interested about what kind of food the captain ate and Jet’s answer made the older man literally drool at the mere mention of meat.

Zuko was still turned back to Jet and it is hard to tell if he saw his Uncle’s face or not but as he traveled with the man for three years and knew Iroh liked good food, I think it is safe to assume he was aware about Iroh’s reaction. Visually speaking, Zuko didn’t jump up at the first occasion to satisfy his own hunger but he joined Jet to steal the food after Iroh’s wistful reaction.

Later, when Zuko and Jet stole the food and it was shared between refugees, the episode once again does not show us Zuko eating anything, only drinking presumably tea, while Iroh was holding a bowl with meal in his hand.

Similarly, the arrangement of dishes we can see during Iroh talk with Smellerbee and later, with Jet shows no empty bowl or plate placed directly before Zuko, only the cup of tea. The bowl from which Iroh ate can be seen on those screenshots much closer to Iroh. Again, not saying that Zuko did not eat anything at all from what he and Jet stole, but the visual aspect of this scene is more focused on Iroh eating warm, good food than on Zuko’s hunger.

And I think this is pretty interesting insight into Zuko’s character, how he wants to provide Iroh the best food (comfort) available, even if to do so he must become a thief while he won’t steal food when he is alone on his own and in much worse state and how he is reluctant to accept a meal offered to him for free - even though he complained in “The Swamp” how people should provide for him because he is a price. There is a lot to unpack here about Zuko’s pride and sense of honor and the desire to feed his uncle so Iroh won't need to beg for food or money from strangers.

[frances-kafka]

Medium talk is worse than small talk and probably what we're all most afraid of

We all know Small Talk:

hi, how are you, nice weather, how about them (insert sports team here).

Small talk follows algorithms and a kind of ritual pattern. It's the kind of appropriate conversation level for interacting with retail workers in public, and total strangers.

We also all know Big Talk. (I'm only calling it that as the logical inverse implied by Small Talk.) Which is basically where a high degree of familiarity is assumed. A common ND fuckup is conversing in conversational modes that, to many of the general population, are reserved for high familiarity. Either in terms of talking at length about a topic (which I feel is something that was actually more socially acceptable in the past, but has become broadly unacceptable over time; this was NOT really part of a diagnostic category in the 70s) or in terms of overfamiliarity/not being at the right level of social distance from the person for the thing you're talking about.

Most people rely on lots of context cues that inform how they will hear what the other person is saying, and those context cues may not be there for a near-stranger. All they're left with is the most uncharitable possible assumption about your intentions.

So with this in mind, this leaves me with the WORST conversation category, that nobody acknowledges, because we're stuck on Small Talk and Big Talk:

Medium Talk.

You actually need something in common with the other person or something you relate to, to really successfully do Medium Talk. Small talk can be done with total strangers you're never going to see again, and Big Talk can cut past a lot of stuff; I don't need every social belongingness or ideological thing or hobby in common with my family members, or other people in a high-trust relationship with me, to have a meaningful conversation with them.

Medium Talk is actually where a lot of the tripwires and landmines are.

People are making decisions to escalate or de-escalate here, and listening for loyalty indicators. You run the risk of keeping things superficial while missing an actual connectedness bid, or of being overly familiar - or getting too comfortable and offending/scaring the other person before they have any context for processing what you're saying to them.

Medium Talk is when you're moving from the Social Niceties, along the continuum toward Big Talk. You're dipping your toe in the water, moving toward the deep end.

Average to high social skills people will often throw out feelers about escalating the conversation. In the 90s, LGBT people would sometimes drop hints about some or other thing that only other LGBT people would know about, based upon some kind of context cue. There is ultimately some of this same dynamic going on with some forms of nerdy gatekeeping ("name one star war") albeit in a clumsy way.

But people do it all the time.

I think there is a tendency for some people to assume talk is 100% verbal while habitually ignoring the visual and relational context cues that are processed as communication. It's especially hard for people who *can't* process that information, but I think that there are lots of reasons some people end up just not learning to do it.

People often escalate small talk based upon presence of some kind of marker such as a nerdy enamel pin, or a sports jersey. This is what wearing tons of geek swag is actually all about. 70s-80s social skills guides and advice for single people, often advised having/carrying/wearing some kind of "conversation starter."

Once I learned about 70s/80s/90s gay hanky code, I realized that there was a lot of this going on in all kinds of ways and that people scan other people visually for various kinds of context cues for the escalation of small talk.

A big problem is getting too "real" too fast, and people in the Medium Talk Zone will commonly use celebrities, low-stakes fandom stuff, and the like as socially acceptable proxies for discussing their viewpoints while saving face. If you are still in a low trust space, then the problem with just blurting stuff out to another person is that they don't know you well enough to have any context for what you are saying.

Most people are processing a ton of context cues while you are speaking, besides the words you are saying. When still in a low trust zone, you are likely to be taken in bad faith. You saying the same thing that their friend said, is not being heard by their brains as actually the same thing.

Nor is your presentation of the project being heard by the boss as being the same presentation that is being given by the shinier co-worker who steals it from you.

Most people don't just process the information, they process *who is saying it* as a *necessary part* of that information.

And this is where Medium Talk is so dicey.

Small Talk? No problem. Most of us can do it on a good day and most of us do it without realizing how much we do it.