#and all the men in the room got Super Concerned
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m-has-a-blog · 8 months ago
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look, between any random man on the street and my dad i'd rather the rando. one of those people drugged me as a joke and it was NOT the rando
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moonvis · 1 year ago
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IDIOTS IN LOVE
Steve Rogers x F! Reader
incl. Natasha, Wanda, Bucky and Tony
Summary: Being in love with Steve Rogers isn’t easy with all the dates Natasha sets him up with. One day you’ve had enough and ask her to set you up, something you’ve never let her before – and a certain blonde isn’t too pleased.
Warnings: Angst to fluff! Jealous! Steve and Jealous! Reader. Misunderstandings. Two blind idiots in love with each other. 4.3k words.
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“Okay, I’m off to bed,” You said through a yawn and got up from the chair you’d been sitting in for the past hours, drinking and chatting with Natasha and Wanda.
Natasha took a sip from her glass, before asking, “See you in the morning for our run?”
“Count me in,” You nodded and walked towards the exit, your head facing Natasha, “Goodnight ladies.” The second you faced away, something tall crashed into you, making you trip on your own feet.
“Woah careful, doll!” A familiar voice said, as a hand grabbed you by your waist to steady you, “Are you okay, angel?”
“Steve! Oh- Thanks!” You felt a bit embarrassed as he was still holding onto you, his blue eyes looking down at you with what seemed like concern. His face was close, so very close, and his lips-
“Steve you’re back!” Natasha cheered from behind you, interrupting the moment, “How was your date?”
You immediately felt your heart drop at her question. Steve had been on a date. Again. You took a step away from the super soldier, looking down as he shifted his attention to Natasha, “It was good.”
You snuck out of the room in the blink of an eye, not wanting to hear about yet another one of Steves ‘good’ dates that never lead to a second one. Couldn’t he just choose one of the girls and make it official? That way you had no reason to hold onto the hope that he just might, someday, reciprocate your feelings.
You didn’t see the disappointment in Steve’s face when you suddenly disappeared out of sight.
You woke up in the morning with a burning headache. Partly because of the wine last night, but mostly because of Steve keeping you awake for hours. You always stayed to hear how his dates went, but it was always the same: “It was good, but there won’t be a second one, I’m afraid. Better luck next time Nat.”
Though what if it was different this time? What if he finally found the one? Your thoughts and feeling of regret were interrupted by a harsh knocking on your bedroom door.You knew it was Natasha and got out of bed. The floor felt extra cold this morning.
“I’ll be down in five!” You yelled trough the door and went to get dressed for your run. After swallowing some painkillers for your headache, you left your room to meet the redhead, desperately in need to get some fresh air.
You and Natasha jogged from the Avengers compound and ended up in the nearest park. As you felt the morning sun warming your skin, you felt a little relief lift off your shoulders. You needed this.
The two of you sat down at a bench, kind of like creeps, observing the civilians enjoying their own morning.
A dolled-up lady was walking her dog, or more like, the dog was walking her. You shared a laugh with Natasha at the sight. Your eyes followed her movements, watching as she passed a little girl blowing soap-bubbles. The little one let her tongue out to taste the bubbles, only for her nose to scrunch up in disgust.
“Cute.” Natasha commented from beside you. You smiled and let your eyes wander along with the bubbles flying away, which popped right next to an older couple holding hands. “Aww, look at them!” You commented.
The husband of the old couple, smacked his lady’s butt, growing a mischievous grin on his face. “Now, that’s cute.” Natasha commented this time.
“I know! Old people are the cutest.”
“I can only partly agree with you there. Buck and Steve are quite the old men,” Natasha laughed, “Wouldn’t call them cute.”
You chuckled lightly as your eyes left the old couple. To you, Steve was so much more than cute. He was the kindest, most caring man you’d ever met. He always listened to your small and bigger problems. He was always willing to drop everything to help you out. He was always by your side whenever you got hurt on a mission. You had no doubt he cared for you, and yet… he still went on all those dates like you weren’t even an option. He made you feel so special and loved, and you weren’t even each other’s. Oh, how lucky the one who wins his heart would be.
“Y/N? Earth to--”
“Oh, sorry!” You snapped out of your thoughts at Natasha trying to get your attention.
She gave you a concerned look as she spoke, “Are you okay? You seem down.”
“It’s just my head, it really hurts.” You excused, wiping away a tear you hadn’t noticed before.
“I’m sorry. Should we walk back? We can take it slow.” Natasha asked and got up from the bench, lending you a hand.
You accepted her hand and cracked a small smile, “Thank you kind lady.”
Once you started walking back towards the compound, a familiar figure caught your eye. Steve, with a girl beside him, was walking in your direction.
“Would you look at that! Steve’s on a second date,” Natasha cheered at the sight of Steve and Sharon Carter coming closer, “He said yesterday they wouldn’t go on a date again.”
Natasha was clearly trying to share her excitement with you, but all you felt was a knot tightening in your stomach. You liked Sharon, you really did, but of course she, a Carter,  would be the one to finally win Steve’s heart.
Natasha was waving at the pair, just to make sure they saw the two of you. The jealousy in your body didn’t help much with the headache, making you feel sick, “Nat, I’m just gonna go, okay?”
You weren’t in the mood to stand around and wait for Steve to arrive with his new love interest, you didn’t even bother to give Natasha a smile, “You can wait for them if you want. I’d like to have some alone time anyways.”
Natasha wasn’t sure how to react, starting to feel like it wasn’t just a headache bothering you, “You sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” You left without taking another look back, leaving Natasha to start worry about you.
You didn’t see Steve’s expression go from excitement to concern as he watched you leave Natasha behind.
Back at the compound, you fall down onto your bed, soft sobs rocking your body. You’re tired of loving a man you’ll never have. You have his friendship, but your heart is still not satisfied. Now that Steve has found a beautiful woman like Sharon, maybe you can finally try to move on.
You roll onto your back, looking at the ceiling as your tears dry out. What are you going to do?
Then, it hits you. Natasha.
Just a soft knock on the door and a hug later, the redhead asks what she can do to make you feel better. You let out a sigh and ask away, “Could you help me, maybe… find a date?”
Natasha wasn’t sure she heard you correctly, but when you nodded, her face lit up in excitement, “Of course! It would be my absolute pleasure!” She didn’t even ask why you wanted a date all of a sudden, she was just happy you’d finally give her matchmaking a chance.  
“Oh my god! I have so many guys in mind. They would all be so lucky to have you Y/N. I have to pick one worth your time though!”
You chuckled as you listened to Natasha ramble on about who to pick for you, a feeling of excitement growing in your stomach. You were finally ready to give someone new a chance.
As the moon shone through your window, you thought about what tomorrow would bring. Natasha had already picked out a date whom you’d meet tomorrow night.
Busy in thought, you suddenly felt your stomach growl. Slipping out of bed, you put on a pair of slippers and wandered out your door towards the kitchen. Truth be told, you had been avoiding going around the compound in fear of meeting Steve, which also meant skipping dinner.
You fixed yourself a bowl of cereal and let your thoughts wander back to your upcoming date. What dress would you wear? Maybe the blue one? No. What about the white, the one you knew Steve loved so much?
“Hey.”
The sudden sound of a voice made you jump in your seat. As you choked on your cereal, you felt a hand patting your back.
“I’m sorry for scaring you. Are you okay, angel?”
You looked up to find Steve looking down at you. Damnit. You managed to embarrass  yourself in front of him again.
“I’m fine, thanks.” Your voice sounded hesitant, your eyes going back to your cereal. You listened as Steve made himself a cup of tea behind you, not a single word shared. You felt awkward.
You hoped he would just make his damn tea and leave - but of course not. The man sat down, right beside you, half facing you as he took a sip.
“So…” Steve began, and you felt yourself wanting to disappear. You were in the mindset of moving on a few minutes ago, but here he sat, the man you were so in love with, alone, giving you all of his attention. “How’re you doing? We haven’t talked much since, well, yesterday.”
Steve’s voice sounded hesitant, and you knew, that he knew, that something was up. The two of you hung out every single day, so not talking for 24 hours was unusual.
“I, uh… I’m okay. I’ve been a bit tired lately, that’s all.” You lied, and you didn’t sound very convincing either.
“Nat told me about your headache earlier today, at the park-”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You interrupted him, a hint of annoyance in your voice. You really didn’t want to talk about it. Especially not think about the sight of Steve walking alongside his new girl.
You hear Steve let out a sigh at your answer. You were hoping he’d let it go, though you knew Steve too well. The blonde put down his cup and turned his body fully towards you this time, “Y/N,” His voice sounded serious, “I know something’s up, more than just a headache, and it worries me. So, please, what is going on? Did I do something?”
You didn’t know you had it in you to be angry with Steve Rogers, but when you felt your blood boil, there was no going back. You jumped out of your chair and looked at him with rage in your eyes, “Why do you care, huh?”
You saw the immediate hurt in Steve’s eyes, his expression shocked at your sudden outburst. You didn’t care though, “It’s been a fucking day, and you’re worried about me because I haven’t talked to you yet? You haven’t even been home! The last time I saw you, quoting Natasha, you were on a second date with Sharon! Shouldn’t you be with her now anyways?”
“Y/N-”  
“No! Why the fuck do you sit here and talk to me like I’m the only thing you care about, like it matters how I’m doing? It doesn’t make any sense! You’ve always been like this, yet I’m just a friend sitting around while you go out and fuck all the girls Natasha find for you!” Your breath is heavy, tears threaten to spill from your eyes,
Steve was reaching out a hand to you but retracted it as tears streamed down your cheeks. You pointed a finger at the man, your teeth gritted together as you spoke, “And lastly, I am under no obligation to tell you anything about my feelings! So please, stop treating me like I’m your fucking girlfriend!”
Without taking another look at him, you spun around and left the room. As you disappeared out of sight, you ran down the hallway to escape into your room, not wanting Steve to follow. It was when you shut your bedroom door, you realised what you just did.
You yelled at Steve, for the first time ever. Worst of all, he hadn’t done anything to deserve it. That night, never ending sobs were rocking you to sleep.
As you stormed out of the kitchen, you didn’t see the look of heartbreak in Steve’s eyes. They carried more worry than before, confusion and a load of regret as he started to catch on to what was going on with you. It was all a misunderstanding, and he felt like the biggest idiot in the world.
Getting ready for your date was supposed to be fun and exciting, but after you yelled at Steve last night, nothing seemed to cheer you up.
You regretted every single word you yelled at him. He came to check up on you, but all he got in return was your anger. Though maybe it was for the best, now he had no reason to care about you anymore. You were an asshole. The thought hurt like hell, but you chose to use it as an excuse to ease your feelings.
You dressed up in a white beautiful dress, paired with a pair of white heels. It was Steve’s favourite outfit of yours – he had told you so with words, but his eyes when he looked you, oh, they said so much more. That's were you got the nickname angel from.
It was time to give the outfit a new association, perhaps, the first outfit you wore out with your new potential love interest?
As you walked down the compound hallway to leave, familiar voices came from the kitchen. You knew snooping was wrong, but you couldn’t help listening as it was Steve talking.  
“I’ve been a fool Buck,” Steve sighed, “What am I gonna do?”
“It’s all a big misunderstanding, right? Just tell her everything and I’m sure she’ll understand. Y/N always understands.”
“Yeah, tell her I’ve been going on a new date every week for the past year so that I can forget about her?” Steve groaned, “It sounds awful.”
It did sound awful. He really wanted to get rid of you huh? You didn’t understand why but his words hurt. “-so that I can forget about her.”
You sniffled and was ready to sneak past them, not wanting to hear anymore, but of course, both men noticed your presence. Stupid super hearing.
“Y/N?” Steve asked and walked a little closer to where you were standing, “Wow, angel, you look-” Steve gave you the same look as he always did when you dressed up. He looked at you in awe, which you usually loved, but now, you hated it.
“Princess, you look beautiful!” Bucky commented and walked over to kiss the top of your head, “Where are you headed off to?”
“Oh, I-” You looked at Steve, then shifted your attention back to Bucky, giving him a shy smile, “I’m going on a date.”
The words felt relieving to get out in front of Steve. Now he would know not to treat you like a girlfriend, since you were trying to see someone else, right?
“Oh, really?” Bucky sounded surprised, but you ignored it, “Have uh-” You noticed as Bucky gave a quick look at Steve, before plastering on a big smile, “Have a nice one then! Can’t wait to hear about it!”
“Thanks Buck,” You smiled, “I gotta go.”  
As you rushed out of the room, you didn’t see Steve clenching his jaw and fists. He was irritated at himself for letting it come to this. The feeling of jealusy made him feel sick.
It was an hour into the date, and you were actually enjoying your time. The guy Natasha had set you up with was an agent you had met before during some mission, Christopher. He was cute and had such golden retriever energy - he made you genuinely smile for the first time that day. Apparently he had been smitten with you for a while now, and to no surprise, Natasha knew.
As time passed by, it was time to head home. Both of you had work in the morning anyways. Cristopher followed you all the way back to the Avengers Compound, giving you a kiss on the cheek, “Thank you for giving me a chance Y/N. I had a really wonderful time. Will I see you again?”
Busy with your date, you didn’t see Steve standing nearby, observing the whole thing. He was tense, saddened and growing more and more jealous as he watched you laugh with the other guy.
Steve had come out to get some fresh air, to clear his head, but was interrupted by your arrival. You looked so beautiful, and the sound of your sweet laughter made his knees weak. Oh, how he wished he was the one who caused it.
The morning after your date with Cristopher, you felt the best you had in the last few days. You hummed as you entered the kitchen, the smell of something delicious hitting your nose, “Oh, what’s that smell? It’s amazing.”
“’I made pancakes, so I hope you’re hungry!” Bucky cheered and handed you a plate. You accepted it gladly and sat down at the table next to Natasha and Wanda to your left, and Tony to your right.
“Hey girl, you seem happy. I’m guessing the date was a success?” Natasha asked as she took a bite of her breakfast.
“You finally went on a date with Steve? Rhodes owe me money-” Tony started at the information.
You almost chocked on your first bite of the pancake. Why would he even think that? Didn’t he know Steve was dating Sharon?
“No, Tones, wrong,” Natasha corrected him, “She went with that guy Cristopher. Remember that agent who wouldn’t shut up about her?”
“Oh yeah! The guy who was blabbering about Y/N almost as much as Steve does!”
Steve was blabbering on about you?    
“Anyways, tell us how it went? When’s the next date?” Wanda asked, eager to know.
You chuckled a little nervously, “Well, you see--” You stopped talking as soon as Steve entered the kitchen, shocked to see his fallen shoulders and saddened eyes.
You observed as he grabbed a plate of pankakes, before heading over to the counter to make his morning tea. It was weird not hearing a good morning, or getting greeted with his soft smile. You had no idea what was bothering him, and it killed you inside.
"Y/N? You were saying?" Natasha questioned, as you had left them all hanging.
Your eyes didn't leave Steve's figure, even though he was facing away, "It uh... The date was good."
You watched Steve's whole posture tense as you spoke. Oh, how much you wanted to ask if he was okay. You just didn't feel like you had the right to. The last time you spoke, you were yelling at his face.
"Come on! Give us the details!" Tony pushed.
You shook your head, suddenly not wanting to bother Steve with details of your date. You plasteted on a forced smirk, "You'll have to wait and see if we weet again."
"No come on!"
As Steve was facing away, you couldn't see the tears forming in his eyes. You couln't see the absolute heartbreak on his face from the thought of having lost you. He really felt like he had lost the most important person in his life - and you didn't even know he saw you as such.
Over the past few days, you hadn't shared a single word with Steve, and it was starting to drive you crazy. You didn’t even face each other while in the same room - it was a good thing you hadn't shared a mission yet.
All you wanted was for Steve to be happy, and to be his friend again, so with that, you decided it was time to apologize for your behaviour – even if he wouldn’t forgive you for being such an ass, you knew it was the right thing to do.
Your palms felt sweaty, and your mouth all dried out as you stepped outside his room, “Okay… here goes nothing.” You knocked on the door, feeling your heart thump rapidly against your chest.
When he didn’t answer you knocked twice, then again and again. Giving up, you asked Tony’s A.I. for help, “FRIDAY, where’s Steve?”
“In the gym ma’am.”
You let out a sigh, “Is he… okay?”
“From what I can tell, he seems distressed and angry.”
You felt a knot in your stomach. It was 8 pm, and Steve never worked out in the gym that late unless he was upset, “Fuck… Thanks FRIDAY.”
Earlier that day, Steve had been walking past the door to your room at least five times, with the intention to make up. Though the super solider was way too nervous to bother you and chickened out. It was killing him not having your company every day. He missed you. So, with his emotions changing from heartbreak to anger, and the heavy regret from not telling you the truth and let your relationship come to this, he escaped to the gym.
You entered the gym and carefully closed the door behind you. It took you seconds to see Steve by the six destroyed punching bags on the floor, the seventh about to face the same faith.
Steve’s back was tense, and you could see the anger he was feeling in every punch. You felt the knot in your stomach from before tightening, your palms even more sweaty. Taking a deep breath, you walked up to him; it was time to face the music.
Speaking of music, before you knew it your ears were singing a high-pitched tone, your head hurt and your whole back was facing the cold floor beneath you.
“Oh my god!” Steve rushed to your side, worry in his voice, “Are you okay? I’m so sorry Angel!”
You blinked a few times before looking up at the concerned man above you. Putting a hand to your head, you groaned out due to the pain. Releasing deep breath, you let Steve help you up, “I guess I deserved that.”
You had been so smart to come up behind the Captain and stand in front of the punching bag. Because of Steve’s quick and hard punches, he failed to notice you in time, and punced the bag into you, sending you flying to the floor.
“Seriously, are you okay, doll?”
The concern in Steve’s voice made you forget why you came her in the first place. You only nodded and let him lead you to sit down on a bench. He didn’t let go of your hand as you both sat down.
Steve let out a shaky breath. It was clear it had scared him when he saw you flying in the air, and it was all his fault too. You could see the guilt on his face. He still cared so damn much.
You had enough of Steve feeling so down because of you, he didn’t deserve a second of it, “Steve I’m okay. I’m the idiot for creeping up on you like that… Also, I kinda deserved it after how shitty I’ve been treating you.”
“What are you talking about?” There was confusion in the Captain’s eyes.
“Just… let me talk.” Suddenly you had the courage to just get it out. You took hold of both his hands and looked deeply into his blue eyes, “I’m so sorry Steve. I’ve been an absolute asshole towards you.”
Steve opened his mouth to say something, but closed it as you shook your head, “Let me continue. You’re my best friend and I have so much love for you. You’ve been nothing but good to me, and I was yelling at you for it. Thinking about how good you treat me, your friend, I can only imagine how good you treat Sharon. She’s very lucky and I wish you guys the best.”
Your gaze fell from Steve and down into your lap, “I… I’ve been jealous. With all those dates you’ve been on… Why couldn’t you just pick one the girls and get it over with? I…”
“Cause none of them were you.”
You looked up at him, shock in your eyes, unsure if you heard him correctly. Steve plastered on a small smile, his eyes so soft as he looked into yours, “Y/N, there’s nothing between Sharon and I. The other day, when you saw us at the park, we were walking back from visiting Peggy’s grave. It was only a coincidence we were there at the same time.”
“Oh… but what about your date the day before? You said it was good?” You asked, feeling almost ashamed.
“You left too soon to hear what I told Nat and Wanda. I had a good time, but I wasn’t interested. I’d have way more fun with someone else there with me…” Steve’s voice was low, his hand coming up to caress your cheek, “I can’t hold it back anymore Y/N. I love you; I always have. And those stupid dates?”
Tears were streaming down your cheeks at his confession. Never in a million years would you have thought he loved you back.
Steve chuckled lightly, a hint of sadness in his eyes, “I went on those to get you off my mind. I never belied you could love me back, you’re way too good for me, Angel. Though every damn date I went on, I just couldn’t get you off my mind. Every time they wanted me to come home with them, I only thought; No, I can’t do that to my best girl.”
“Steve…” You felt so stupid for not having confessed your feelings earlier. All this misunderstanding could’ve been avoided, “I love you too. I love you so damn much Stevie.”
Steve breath caught in his throat, not sure he was hearing you clearly, “What?” The word came out weak, like he was scared to wake up from a dream, “What about--”
“Cristopher?” You giggled, “Oh, I had a nice time with him, but you know, he wasn’t you.”
Steve laughed loudly and you joined in. Both of you realised how stupid and blind you had been. You loved each other.
Steve caressed your cheek again, his thumb stroking over your soft skin. The look in his eyes were different than before; you knew it was love. His features, his voice, all soft, “Can I… kiss you?”
You only nodded and let him lead you towards his lips. The kiss was gentle, but a firework erupted inside of you. It made tears fall from your eyes, his too. Pulling away, Steve kissed the top of your head before speaking, “My beautiful, Angel. I can’t believe I finally have you.”
You threw yourself forward and let him wrap his strong arms around you. His embrace felt like home.
It felt so right, and finally, your heart was satisfied.
You didn’t see the tears continue to stream down Steve’s cheeks. You didn’t see the huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. He was so damn in love with you, and he already knew that someday, he wanted to call you his wife.  
THE END! Thank you so much for reading, feedback is very much appreciated <3
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glitch-but-ya · 25 days ago
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SILKEN CHAINS.
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| AO3 | PAIRING: Yandere!Caleb x Psychotherapist!Reader CW: SFW but MATURE, manipulation, yandere, obsessive/possessive/controlling behaviour, grotesque descriptions, descriptions of gore, suicide, implied murder, stalking, trauma, mental illness, just a heavy fic in general, mild swearing, Fem!Reader. SUMMARY: When her childhood friend spirals into a paradox of obsession and madness, who could mend his fractured mind better than her? Utilizing her years of expertise, she is determined to bring him back. But can one play with fire without scorching their skin? Can she unravel his mind before he devours hers? WORD COUNT: 31k words. DISCLAIMER: Although you are free to view this as dead dove or dark romance, I am not romanticising such behaviour. I'm simply telling a dark story for the sake of telling a dark story. This is merely a psychological thriller written for the fun of it. Heavy content ahead, be warned. A/N: Helloo!! Sorry for being super inactive!! I hit a writing slump and when I’d recovered from it, I started this fic (or, more accurately, I started writing this fic in order to flee from writer’s block.) I wanted to work on my other sylus fic but I kept mixing the character’s personalities up. I’m usually great at multitasking but not when it comes to writing it seems. I had exams, my mother got sick halfway through ramadan, I was fasting and constantly exhausted, and yeah. (Yes, I am Muslim!) Anyways, the idea for this fic was something akin to a shower thought. I changed my writing style a bit. Basically went from uhh poetic(?) to more mordern. So I don’t know how I did. Any criticism or feedback is appreciated!!
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He was always like this, wasn’t he?
You twirled your pen between your fingers as you glared out the open window into the faces of buildings looming high. A warm westerly breeze wafted through the opening, swirling the bittersweet scent of coffee throughout the room. A long, white couch sat at the other end of yours, bearing a small, fresh dent on its right corner—left by the last patient of the day. That decade-old piece of furniture had been in your office for as long as you could recall. It had shouldered the weight of various troubled souls who would rush to you at the first hint of distress. They would barge in, plop themselves down on the exact same side of the sofa, and pour their worries out.
For hours, you would sit still with a notebook in your hands, gazing out that very same window as if your ears had not caught a word. And once they’d stop, you would turn to them with a smile.
“I see. Well, let’s start from the beginning.”
Many came with a burdened frown, and all left with their heads lifted high. That was the quality of your service—the merit of having abandoned the role of a renowned criminologist to settle for a mere clinical psychotherapist. It was a far more peaceful life, where you only needed to contend with the usual afflictions of mental health. You’d say it suited you better. It was far kinder to your body and soul to study the boundaries of the mind rather than the savagery of crime. Because if you were truly competent enough to retain your position as a criminologist, you would have noticed sooner, wouldn’t you?
Your pen stilled in your hand.
You had studied the faces of many. Cheaters, narcissists, the apathetic, the antisocial—you had seen it all and more. During your brief tenure as a criminologist, you had worked with the most wretched criminals. A deranged, delusional son who had donned the skin of his mother shortly after gutting her alive, a schizophrenic woman who had splattered her husband’s brains across her grotesque painting, and countless men and women who displayed heightened symptoms of obsessive and abusive behaviour towards their partners.
And yet, you missed it.
There was a saying that we normalise the odd behaviour of those closest to us to such an extent that their misdoings and concerning actions fly off our radar without a hitch. Our paths were so intertwined with theirs that we saw no reason to stop and ponder—Hey, could this be a sign of mental illness?
You supposed you had fallen into the same dilemma. He had sat before you your entire life—from adolescence to the moment higher education set you apart, he had always been there. Even as you pursued your double majors, Caleb’s botched mental evaluation exam had not raised any red flags in your mind.
“Oh, it’s a flawed test. You of all people should know that someone’s mental health can’t be determined by a simple questionnaire.”
And regrettably, you believed him. He made a good point, after all. A simple questionnaire said nothing about someone’s true psyche.
But still, you regretted not questioning—Is it even possible to fail so miserably?
You should have checked his answers. Such an oversight had cost you the surprise of finding out in... such a way. And now that you looked back and reevaluated your interactions with him, the markers became clear.
“The people that want to hurt you? They should all just—” his gaze burned through your skull, “—disappear.”
“I don’t need your protection. I’m fine on my own.”
He scoffed, eyes brimming with betrayal.
“You don’t need me? Is that what you think?”
Your lips trembled as you sank deeper into the plush of the couch, forced down by his presence. With one arm, he caged you between his body and the cushions.
“Alright, what do you want? You can tell me.”
You knocked his forearm weakly. “Caleb, calm down—”
“We can return to Linkon if that’s what you want. We’ll rebuild our old house. And if one house isn’t enough, I’ll build you a whole maze.”
Like a fish out of water, you thrashed about, only to still once realisation dawned on you—
He was speaking to you with unfiltered, bare words. There would not be another chance like this. Now was the perfect time to capitalise on his raw and vulnerable state.
You pursed your lips. Caleb’s finger trailed across your jaw.
“I’ll decorate it with whatever you want. It will be the most stunning garden you’ve ever seen.”
You emptied your gaze, donning the familiar facade of a professional, objective psychotherapist. You scrutinised him as he spoke. You picked up on the subtle crack of his voice, the tears threatening to form, the gentle firmness of his grip. This was him—the true, raw him. How could you not have noticed sooner?
In hindsight, the signs were present. Possessiveness, obsession, strategic control—traits you would have easily identified in a client. He thought of himself as clever. And he was right. To the general public, Caleb was beyond cunning. A force to be reckoned with.
But you had seen worse. You had dissected minds far more twisted than his. You were confident in your abilities—you could unravel him, strip him bare once more, and deliver the final blow with cautious precision. Patients often believed themselves to be indecipherable, an enigma buried in the sands of time.
Yet they forgot that doctors such as yourself had wasted half their lives preparing for them. No matter how savage or twisted one may be, you were trained to make people collapse at the slightest pull of their heartstrings.
The only reason behind your incompetence had been simple—familiarity breeds blind spots, and Caleb was all too familiar to you. You regretted not having picked up on it sooner. Now, all your analyses pointed to the same result. He was severely disturbed and in urgent need of therapeutic intervention.
And who was more qualified to deliver just that than you?
This was what you had studied for, was it not? With your combined expertise in both psychology and criminology, you could corner Caleb into spilling his woes. You could fix him. He thought himself untouchable, but you had spent years preparing for men like him.
You tilted your head and glanced at the brightly coloured strip of paper sitting atop your desk. Tickets. To Skyhaven. You could finally see him.
You smiled. How long had it been? A couple of months, perhaps? Since your last visit to Skyhaven, Caleb had not hesitated to check up on you daily. As if unbothered by your reluctance to respond, he left small texts floating in your inbox. Simple formalities—How are you feeling? Have you eaten well?—all left on read. You could practically see the fireworks erupt in his violet eyes the moment you finally responded—
“I’m coming over tomorrow. Do you mind?”
Like an overjoyed pup granted his favourite treat, he swarmed your chat with various emoticons. ‘Are you on vacation? :0’ ‘When are you coming?’ ‘Should I make dinner?’
Despite your best efforts at denial, you couldn’t shake the flutter in your chest at his care and enthusiasm.
If only he had remained the same.
If only he were the boy you once knew, you wouldn’t have to resort to such measures.
Your pulse quickened as your fingers brushed across the ticket’s surface.
You were really doing this, weren’t you? Playing with fire, confident in your eventual triumph. In your field, patience was key.
You would untangle him thread by thread. And when he collapsed, you could embrace him once more. Not as a cruel, restrictive monster, but as the warm boy you had always known.
It was only a matter of time.
“Please stand clear of the doors,” a robotic female voice buzzed. “Next stop, Skyhaven.”
You planted yourself against the hard plastic chairs, clutching a phone that idled on a conversation.
“I’m on the train.” “I’ll be there to pick you up :D”
You stuffed your phone back into your bag. With a loud whir, the train began to move. Your body swayed to the side as it accelerated, pressing you against a metal pole. In just a few hours, you would reach Skyhaven. And he would be there, waiting for you with that big grin plastered across his face—the grin that once lifted you off your feet, whose irony you had now begun to despise. It was the very same expression that would trick the masses.
Girls lined up against high school lockers would swoon over it. But what they didn’t know was that his radiant smile was merely a distraction meant to deter them from the way his eyes, no matter what obstruction emerged before him, would always be locked on you. His warm violet hues would burn through your skull as you led him through the hallways, chatting away obliviously. Back then, you had shrugged it off. He was just expressing care, you thought. You were afraid of crowds back then. He was just looking out for you. It was in your best interest, right? If only you had known.
You should have questioned. You should have known better.
But your high school days were well behind you. What stood now were two matured adults with a strained relationship, engaged in a ruthless game of chess—a game he did not yet realise he was a participant in.
But that only gave you the upper hand. When dealing with patients who would exploit your vulnerability and love for them, having a head start was almost a necessity. Sure, you were certain you’d come out on top eventually. But your work had taught you to tread gingerly nonetheless. When navigating the confines of a person’s mind, every micromovement of yours could cause the whole structure to crumble. No matter how accomplished a psychotherapist is, they are bound to experience massive turbulence in the field of their work.
And you had come prepared accordingly.
You reached into your bag to retrieve a worn, leather-backed journal. It had no labels. Only a brown, thick covering with a matching strap. A blue strip with a metal piece on its end hung loosely from the bottom. It was a bookmark. Old, worn—the fabric of the strip had gone dirty. It was stained with splotches of brown, with an array of torn threads poking out from a corner.
You turned to the first page. It was dated three years ago.
You swiftly flipped through the rest of the pages until you landed on nothing. Somewhere around the middle of the journal, there was a cluster of blank pages stapled together. With a moment of reconciliation, you thumbed through the stapled pages.
Harrison Roan.
A small smile graced your lips. You had, in fact, snatched the correct one before departing.
You traced your hurried handwriting, skimming over the words. You stopped at the small paragraph below the margin—the ‘final comment’.
Patient remains evasive and reluctant to engage in cooperative dialogue. He exhibits obsessive tendencies when discussing his partner, demonstrating patterns of control consistent with Machiavellian protection. His behaviour suggests a state of limerence, accompanied by coercive control over his loved ones. Obsessive-compulsive personality traits are observed, raising suspicion of OCPD. Therapy is recommended for further evaluation and intervention.
Back during your time at the Linkon Criminal Psychiatric Facility, you were assigned as Harrison’s primary psychotherapist. He was accused of abducting and imprisoning his lover, Anne Lotte. Anne underwent severe emotional abuse and manipulation. For a short period of three months, you were assigned to her as well. But before you could make any progress, she had thrown herself off the facility’s roof.
It was devastating, the state you found her in. Anne’s mind was completely mangled. There was a dark fog clouding her conscience. You doubted even a piercing sharp beam of light could pass through to her. She was unresponsive, silent, rendered dead; almost as if her mind had gone senile. Her situation filled you with revulsion. Ten years of imprisonment and psychological torture could destroy one’s psyche so brutally that even after they had regained their freedom, the light of hope would fail to reach their eyes.
You refused to be a victim of the same tragedy, and you refused to let Caleb walk the same path of insanity. Beyond all, you loved him. You wouldn’t leave him be and watch as he slowly abolished himself. You would not let the same tragedy occur once more. And perhaps Harrison’s case was the key. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from here.
“Skyhaven. Doors will open from the left.”
You shut your journal and lazily shoved it back into the depths of your bag. A flock of passengers stood, ready to hurl themselves out the moment the door slid open. You recoiled in your seat with a sigh. You’d just go once the crowd had dimmed.
Placing your chin in your hand, you looked out the window and peered through the crowds, fishing for Caleb. Your pulse fluttered as you saw him stare back at you with that signature smile of his—boyish, handsome… eerie. A chill shot up your spine. There was something about this ‘new’ him you could not explain. Something you couldn’t wrap your head around.
Something that frightened you.
You beamed through the glass, the brightest smile you could muster, and raised your palm to wave at him feverishly. Collecting your belongings in a frenzy, you rushed out the door, only to be met by the solid wall of his chest.
“Oof—” You rubbed your forehead. The man before you broke into a fit of gentle laughter and ruffled the top of your head. “Were you that excited to see me?”
You shot him a sheepish smile. He returned your gesture.
“Here, let me help with those.” He hoisted one of your bags over his shoulder and beckoned for you to follow. You took after him shortly after, skipping over to him with glee.
“Soo… why the sudden visit?” Caleb mused. You raised your head to look him in the eye. “I got a vacation, and…”
He cocked an eyebrow. “And?”
“There are… never mind. Can I tell you once we’re alone?” You could feel the way his heartbeat hastened without needing to touch him. It made your stomach knot in retaliation.
“Alright. Sounds good.”
The two of you hauled your way to the car. Before you could nestle yourself in the spacious backseat, he rushed in front of you to swing open the door to the passenger seat. He gestured for you.
Your eyes glinted with mischief. “Oh?”
“The finest service from yours truly.”
Damnit, that smooth imbecile.
Defeated (yet not yielding), you slid into the passenger seat and waited as he loaded your luggage into the trunk of the car. Once sure nobody was looking, you pried open your bag and inspected the journal inside. Phew. You hadn’t abandoned it on the train.
“Forget something?” You jumped. Your head whipped to the head peeking in from the crack of the car door. A shudder crept up your spine at the empty expression plastered on his face and the way his eyes gave away nothing. The grin was absent from his lips. With lingering unease, you forced your muscles to relax. “I just thought I left my phone behind.”
The warmth returned to his gaze. “Sorry for scarin’ ya.” He ruffled your hair affectionately. You shook your head. “No, it’s fine.”
The drive was quiet, with you engulfed in your paranoia regarding whether or not you should say what you’d sworn to tell Caleb, and him consumed by God-knows-what. The way he fixed his gaze on the road up ahead, not once looking back or giving you a sliver of his attention, perplexed you. What was he so invested in?
“So,” Caleb started, snapping you out of your domain of thought, “What were you gonna say?”
You bit the inside of your cheek and forced yourself to don a neutral tone. “I wanted to…” Fingers deftly played with the hem of your shirt. “Fix things.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Between us. Because, you know.”
The world stilled. You subconsciously hugged your bag tighter against yourself, anticipating all sorts of responses he could give. Would he stay silent? No. Not his style. He would…
Caleb smiled. “So, you want to start over?” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “Can’t say for sure whether I can be the Caleb you want.”
An opening.
You mustered the kindest simper you could and shook your head. “I was thinking… rather than rebuilding our past, we try and make peace with the new versions of each other.”
There was silence. And then, a glint in his eye. His shoulders slumped against the leather seat. The weight dimmed from the air, leaving only a soothing quietude—the calm after the storm had passed. It was almost like the old days.
Almost.
“Sounds good to me.” His mask returned. Contrary to his words, this version of Caleb was unfeeling. Even now, he refused to let you in. He blocked you out with that fire—that crackling lukewarm grin, that blazing radiance he bore. Warm like the sun, and just as deadly as it, and almost impenetrable.
But you could see the cracks that ran through that frigid surface. Earth crumbles fast. And no matter how sturdy the soil, the right amount of water could dampen it just enough for you to dig through.
You would reach him. You were sure. And you would save him just as you should’ve saved yourself.
Caleb helped you unload in front of his house, reaching the bags faster than you could and hauling them over his shoulder before you could protest. Admittedly, it was these small gestures of fondness that allured you to him in the first place. A trap, you thought. Only a front to mask his true twisted nature.
“Are you gonna conquer my room again?” he teased. You stopped in your tracks, turning to scrutinize all the barren rooms. A thought arose, one you desperately tried to shove to the back of your brain. Had you let your fear of him affect you so much that you would begin to lose your mind over the simple choice of rooms?
You took a deep breath and raised your finger, pointing at his room. You looked at him and grinned. “Why not? Your bed is the comfiest.”
Caleb would fall for it, wouldn’t he? The thought of you inhaling his scent, residing where he did—it was far too intimate for his mind to fathom. And the privilege of having your scent rubbed all across his bedsheets, in his balcony, in the mugs you used and the plates you discarded; you were making an offer a lovesick mind like his could not refuse.
You rejoiced internally at the sight of his face. The widening of his eyes, the contraction of his pupils, the subtle twitch of his lips—something awoke in him. Something fearful—a horned monster with gleaming red eyes clutched his heart. It was your indication that you’d won.
“Alright, alright,” Caleb mused. “Whatever the lady wants, she shall get.”
And with that, you successfully seized his room.
They say that one’s room is a reflection of one’s mind. They being you, of course, alongside a few other studies that emerged following the publication of your own. A great deal can be discerned from the mere face of a room—the way its occupant arranges their bedsheets, the colours they favour, the state everything is in, the organisation of furniture and possessions, the things they treasure enough to keep within these walls. From mental state to relationship status, all could be dissected from a single glance at a room and its arrangement.
You didn’t believe Caleb foolish enough to leave incriminating evidence strewn about. If anything had been there, he would have tidied up days before you set foot in Skyhaven. He preferred to keep details of his field of work discreet. You assumed it stemmed from an unwillingness to "corrupt" what he held sacred—sacralisation, perhaps? Disturbing when done to a human, yet not uncommon. You had encountered such cases before, and no matter how many you worked on, each left a familiar sinking feeling in your gut.
Knowing that, you never expected to find anything concrete in his room. But that wasn’t your intention.
You unpacked, arranging your belongings on the bed. Your journal rested on his desk. Of course, there was a risk in choosing to stay here. If you left your journal lying about and he happened to enter on a whim (which he had every right to; it was his room, after all), you would be exposed almost instantly. What excuse could you offer for analysing patients from three years ago, especially while on holiday? Worse, if his eyes caught the blue thread marking the pages where you had written about Harrison, he would connect the dots at once. What would he do then? Banish you? Grow cold? Or something worse?
You didn’t want to think about it.
Regardless, it was a risk you were willing to take. Consequences only existed if you faltered first. You were far more interested in what his room revealed about his mental state. Was it irrefutable evidence? No. But you weren’t on duty. This was a personal investigation—here, proof could be as subjective as you pleased. The only jury was yourself.
The bed was impeccably made, yet a thin layer of dust coated the duvet—a symptom of neglect. Still, there were signs that he had attempted to prepare. The neatly arranged cosmetics on the vanity, the dusted balcony with its watered plants, the stocked bird feeder swaying gently from the ceiling, the polished bathroom with its dry, tiled floors. They spoke of the care he had taken to render the space habitable for you.
It was your belief that people tidied before the arrival of guests to mask the unguarded fragments of themselves, those revealed in the dim solitude of their rooms. You could sense the effort he had poured into creating an illusion of warmth. His room practically welcomed you. Little hints of life were scattered throughout, almost as if to weave a mirage of normalcy.
"When we move in together in the future, what kind of room do you want?"
You lifted your chin, humming in thought. "Oh! I know! I want a lively room!"
"You mean colourful and vibrant?"
You shook your head. "No, dummy. A warm room! One that looks lived in."
Had he remembered your words? Back then, you had merely been a child. You had no true grasp of what you were saying, lacked the linguistic skills to articulate your thoughts. And yet, he remembered. Or perhaps it was simply instinct—after all, any normal person would feel more comfortable in a space that had been occupied before.
Despite his meticulous efforts, something betrayed it all.
You ran a fingertip across the duvet, picking up dirt. He had forgotten to tend to the bed. You could see it now—the bed, untouched for so long, had appeared so pristine that it had entirely slipped his notice. That very perfection had made him overlook it. And you might have as well, had it not been for the red welts that bloomed upon contact.
That told you more than you had expected. So consumed with work, he had dehumanised himself. Yet, instead of confronting it, instead of seeking help, he had merely painted over the cracks and prayed you would not notice.
Caleb was underestimating you. And that would be his undoing.
As both a therapist and a friend, it was your duty to halt his descent before it could begin.
Breakfast was served a bit late, around the time you’d usually make it for yourself back at home. Flatbread stuffed with meat and cheese—slightly indulgent, you’d say, but filling and undeniably delicious. Especially when put together by his hands. The savoury aroma wafted through the kitchen. You sat near the counter, devouring the bread in bites that left your mouth stuffed and puffy. Caleb laughed at the sight. But what could you do? After all, you were obsessed with his culinary prowess.
Although, you would admit, it was hard to focus on the food when his eyes were practically glued to you, unmoving and unwavering. A chill crept through your limbs but was quickly swallowed by the sudden burst of flavour in your mouth.
“How is it?”
You mumbled incoherent words through your full cheeks.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
No matter how vastly he changed, one thing remained constant—his food. It hadn’t changed a bit. The taste carried the same warmth it once had, the same lingering aftertaste of his signature seasoning. A silly thought popped into your mind—what if that were to change as well? A ridiculous notion. But then again, art changes as the artist does.
“Do you eat well while you’re on duty?”
Caleb looked out the window and hummed. His gaze averted yours. “Does cafeteria food count as ‘eating well’?”
“…Not really.” You smiled. Why did he look away?
You pinched his arm. “Look at you—you’re going to grow frail and weak!”
Caleb flinched before wincing dramatically, forcing a chuckle. “Really? Guess I gotta start eating well, huh?” He paused, glancing at his arm. “Or else someone’s gonna be breathing down my neck even when we’re apart.”
With a tilt of your head, you nodded. “I’ll scold you every time I’m back.”
“If it means seeing you more ofte—ow!” You pinched a thin layer of his flesh and twisted it.
“I can see those evil schemes swirling around in your brain. Cut it out! Or do you want me to punch you?”
Caleb pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “Oh, whatever am I to do?”
Despite the playful spark in his eyes, you couldn’t ignore the way his gaze flickered toward the compartment beneath the counter. He shifted, positioning his body over the gap so you were unable to steal a glance even if you tried.
You tilted your head and hummed. Interesting. It was best not to let him know you’d caught on.
You swallowed the last bits of your food with a mug of icy water. “Once you’re weak, I’ll craft a ploy to seize your position. The fleet’s going to have a new Colonel soon!” Smirking slyly, you puffed out your chest with mock confidence.
An unexpected tension settled in the air. You noted the way his shoulders tensed, the way his jaw clenched at the word Colonel. A fleeting, alien emotion flickered behind his violet eyes, only to be swiftly dimmed by his sudden grin. That same, insufferable grin that guarded the entrance before you could step into his mind. His way of shutting you out.
He poked your arm and chuckled. “I’ll be looking forward to it, Colonel.” A palm rose to his head in an exaggerated salute.
Why was he so jumpy today?
Later, sometime during the afternoon, you dragged Caleb out for a casual tour of Skyhaven. “Show me your favourite places to relax!” you’d said with a beam. That was all it took for him to crumble to his knees.
He led you to a sky-based retreat (well, you were already in the sky, but still) situated atop a towering skyscraper that dwarfed all others of its kind. It was a behemoth of a building—a monolithic structure plated with heavily tinted, floor-to-ceiling windows on all four faces. The epitome of a modern yet intimidating corporate monolith. A lake surrounded it on three sides, and the only way in was via a vast bridge, sturdy enough to withstand the heaviest of cargo-bearing trucks, looping around the entire strip of land.
The apex was swallowed by cotton-white clouds. The last few floors vanished into the fog, dissolving from view. Despite the presence of splendid and meticulously maintained gardens throughout, only a few workers strolled about. Even with the meticulously architected bridges, barely any cars were to be seen. Only the distant rattle of golf buggies echoed in the air. Save for the occasional chirps and the gentle woosh of water below, it was eerily quiet.
You contemplated asking Caleb about it, but for some reason, your inability to piece it together on your own gnawed at you, filling you with a bitter pride. It should be easier than a murder case. Why were you fumbling? This was supposed to be your first real move. How could you falter before even setting your plan into motion?
None of the workers paid any real attention to the two of you as you stepped through the main entrance. Only a few odd glances followed. Caleb seemed to be a regular here. They all seemed at ease with his presence.
The elevator ride was a gruelling one. You could swear it took five whole minutes just to exceed the twentieth floor. Caleb argued it had only been forty seconds. It felt longer, nonetheless. Normally, a crowded elevator would have preoccupied you. You would have found yourself enthralled by the faces and mannerisms of the passers-by—the twenty-something man in a black suit, the unusually silent boy with bruises on his arms, the seemingly unfazed elderly woman with a deep-set frown. Insignificant to most, yet to you, endlessly fascinating.
For instance, the furrow on the businessman’s brow suggested he was late for work. The bruises on the boy’s body spoke of a heartwarming heroism, evident in the little girl beside him who thanked him ceaselessly (though, judging by his expression, he had definitely received an earful from his guardian). And the irritable old woman—well, she was quite clearly the one who had placed a zipper on the boy’s mouth.
What seemed forgettable to others was precious to you, and as long as there was company, you found solace.
But here, there wasn’t. Other than Caleb, of course. And unfortunately, you couldn’t exactly stare at him for the entire ride. You’d rather not resemble a mad doctor dissecting a newly discovered organism. Still, you couldn’t deny it—he was far more interesting than any stranger.
So, you stared at him anyway. Luckily for you, he didn’t seem to mind. Perhaps because he was too preoccupied, gazing out the transparent sheet of glass with a small smile on his lips. He seemed to be in a good state of mind. That was good. Otherwise, things had a slim chance of escalating into an argument. Nothing you couldn’t handle, just something you’d rather avoid. Or else, he’d pierce through your façade faster than you intended.
The doors slid open with a hiss. Beams of warm light spilled through, hitting your face and causing you to squint. The entryway, constructed of flimsy straw structures, was adorned with threads of vines creeping up and down the walls. Sunlight dripped through the holes in the patchwork roof, glinting cruelly beyond the tapestry, shining down with all its might—an act of savagery against your poor eyes. Thankfully, the vines shielded you from its full assault.
You tilted your head. A woman—uniformed, with a strict look on her face—stood beside the entrance with an immaculate posture. A familiar hat sat low on her head, guarding her eyes from both the intense heat and light. The utter lack of emotion in her gaze sent an involuntary shiver down your spine.
You glanced up at Caleb. He was unfazed by her presence, as if she were a mere colleague or a guard standing by. But she wasn’t the latter. You could tell by the uniform.
With your hand in his, he strode up to the woman. She offered a curt salute in response. “Colonel.”
“We would like to enter.” His voice was cold, a stark contrast to the way his thumb tenderly grazed over yours.
The woman turned to you. Her head tilted as she scrutinised you with a wary gaze. Then, she nodded. “Right this way.”
You were sure of it now. This was a private building, accessible only to high-ranking members of the Farspace fleet. You supposed such an arduous job had its benefits. Well, this was the least they could offer to those who put their lives on the line each day, fighting for yet more senseless bloodshed. This place was built upon a mixture of blood and sweat.
You grimaced. It felt wrong to stand upon this ground. If you squinted, you could see them—corpses strewn across the floor, brain matter splattered across the walls. Your stomach coiled. What a pathetic way to live—to be crowned in blood and sit upon a throne of bloodied cash, chest brimming with pride, belly full of greed, smirking down upon the famished.
You turned to face Caleb. You supposed he wasn’t too different from those people. And yet, you had forgotten all about it until now. He was truly a master at forging a harmless appearance, a welcoming front. Even now, a part of you refused to see him that way.
You supposed you were guilty as well. You had accepted your position as his plus-one without hesitation and accompanied him to such a place. It was hypocritical to persecute him while standing upon the faces of corpses, declaring yourself the selfless hero.
Such was the nature of humans.
The woman led you through the delicate gate. Caleb dragged you along. The first time you laid your eyes on the garden, your world stilled.
Words could not describe how breathtaking yet melancholic the sight before you was. If you were to attempt to jot it down on a piece of paper, you would be stuck on the first word. Unlike your initial beliefs, the botanical garden was not encased in glass. It should’ve been obvious from the torture you’d endured—the perpetrator being the sadistic, open sun. Maybe it was the awe of it all that heightened your perplexity.
The flowering meadows, the perfectly trimmed patches of fresh, green grass, the symmetrical, square-shaped ponds, the pair of birds feeding from the birdbath, the cascading artificial waterfalls—you didn’t know which one of them struck you the deepest. Or maybe it was the overly maintained religious sculptures—the one depicting a winged woman, angel or devil, with a honeycomb for her face—or the concerningly clean walkways, or the flawlessly aligned roses in the rose gardens that seemed a little too well-kept, stealing away the ‘wild’ and ‘natural’ vibe of your typical botanical garden.
The sky above was a whirlwind of blues, whites, subtle purples, and a dominant yellow-white. A soft breeze cascaded past, threading through the strands of your hair and dancing along your skin. It was cool and pleasant—perfectly so. Like the soft spring breeze that blows in February, or the afternoon wind at the shore of a river. It was just right. The perfect temperature to lull you to sleep.
Your mind winded back to the afternoons you spent with Caleb under your backyard’s willow tree. The breeze there would blow just as strikingly as it did here. Leaves would flutter down onto your face, only to be brushed aside by Caleb’s warm fingers. You would spend several hours lying there with him. Whether it was to complete your homework (of course, you slacked off and lured him into an endless chat instead) or flip through a book, he would always be there, brimming with that brotherly tenderness of his. It made up for your lack of a father figure in your life—Grandma Josephine being your only guardian.
Your heart ached at the memory. Maybe he hadn’t changed at all. Even then, Caleb harboured one major purpose—to protect what he loved, you, and to cherish it to the fullest. You had a hunch—what if that mysterious chip in his brain did not alter him entirely, but only heightened his preexisting instincts? But still. You found it hard to believe that the chip could truly rewire his brain so severely. You refused to believe such contraband existed. The mind is a fragile thing. It’s not so easy to suppress its power. Although all factual data pointed towards only a little portion of his brain remaining untouched, you firmly believed it was a front.
Maybe, among his emotions lay one that would be easy to utilise, to take control of and provoke so that he abided by their rules. And the only emotion so easy to manoeuvre—his only weakness—was his love for you. If you hadn’t been born…
“It’s… wow,” you let out an audible gasp. Your eyes twinkled with stars. On your heels, you spun around, imprinting every inch of the garden in your memory. Caleb didn’t need to be a genius to know that bringing you here was the best choice he had made in a long time. His grin mimicked yours. There was no use in asking whether you were enjoying the view or not—the way you frantically hopped about the place, skipping from pond to pond and observing the exotic birds from afar, told him everything.
With small, unhurried steps, Caleb approached you as you peeked at the pair of colourful birds drinking from the birdbath. “They’re raised here. I feed ’em sometimes.” He tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear. “They’re friendly towards humans. Watch.”
He held out his right hand and approached the birds gingerly. The blue jay tilted its head to scan Caleb as he neared. As if recognising him immediately, it leapt onto his arm.
Using his other hand, he gestured for you to come. You approached with silent and hesitant steps. Once close enough, you reached up to touch the blue jay perched on his arm. You nearly jumped into a pond when the bird took off. Your cheeks flushed red, to which Caleb burst out guffawing.
“I forgot to mention—they don’t like being touched. Sorry, Pip!” he uttered between chuckles.
You gave him the meanest glare you could muster. “How very forgetful of you.” You brought an accusatory finger to point at his chest. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Did I?”
“Yes, you did!”
The woman watching from afar could not help but smile at your meaningless banter.
You and Caleb lingered until the sun began to dip below the horizon, until the once-blue skies were replaced with a bright orange-red and purple. The clouds began to darken—the battle cry of an impending tempest. Or was it the coming of night? You didn’t know. Nonetheless, both of you refused to leave.
“The world looks so tiny from here.” You compared the size of the structures afar with your fingers. Your other hand gripped the railing for support. “I’m almost jealous. You get to come here every day.”
You mumbled, turning to face Caleb, who appeared entranced by the hues of the setting sun. A smile adorned your face. He looked so peaceful, so content. As if nothing had occurred in the past few months, as if it was still the two of you against the world. You yearned to breathe in his embrace once more, just like old times. You swallowed. You couldn’t afford that. The past was gone. Now, only the future awaited—a future that depended on your actions, your choices, and your diligence. You couldn’t back out now. You were too far in.
“Don’t you miss that Willow tree?” you started. “The big one in our backyard. We used to rest against the trunk on the grass.”
“Once, I had to save you from a grasshopper. It lunged at you from the grass, and you screamed like a child,” he laughed. “And afterwards, you ended up avoiding that place for two weeks.”
“I only went after you got rid of them.”
He nodded. “I sprayed the whole area with bug repellent—it killed some of the vegetation as well.”
You smiled at the memory. “Grandma was so mad at us.”
A comfortable quietude ensued, submerging you both into a peaceful state of mind. Then, Caleb spoke solemnly.
“I have patrol tomorrow.” The sun began to disappear below the horizon, leaving swipes of purple behind on the sky. Dark clouds converged. “I won’t be there for you, pip.”
“Truth be told…” You gazed up at the vanishing sun. “I have some work to do. I came here for a more peaceful and friendly working environment.”
“Then you can busy yourself with that. Just… don’t burn down my kitchen, yeah?”
You shot him a scheming grin, yet it held no bite. “When will you be back?”
“The day after. Not too long.”
You bit your lip. Couldn’t he have stayed for a day longer? You had to be quick on your feet, then.
“Did you think about it?” Caleb suddenly interrupted. The gears turned in your head. Your mind was brought back to the offer he’d made before you departed from Skyhaven the last time—“Why not live here? You have nothing left in Linkon city to return to. I can get you a position somewhere as a criminologist. You can return to doing what you loved.”
Your gaze returned to him. You hadn’t decided yet. Sure, it gave you quite a handful of opportunities to inspect his brain a little closer. But if your plan failed? You’d be stuck in Skyhaven. You were sure it wouldn’t, but…
You took the flesh of your mouth into your teeth. It wasn’t the time to doubt yourself. But that wasn’t the only concern in your mind. The thought of him bearing so much power over your life and your job put you at unease. It was risky. Terribly so. It made your advantages over him feel insignificant. No matter how passionate you were about your work, and no matter your love for him, you preferred your sanity and wellbeing over all.
You turned to Caleb with an apologetic smile. His eyebrows furrowed, and a flicker of disappointment crossed his face. “Sorry, Caleb. I’ve made some friends, and I’m happy with the quiet life I’ve managed to build for myself.”
You could sense his thoughts—“What life? That poor, miserable one devoid of my presence and protection?”—you were sure that was what’d crossed his mind at that moment. You could tell by the way his jaw was clenched and his muscles tightened. But at once, the solicitous façade returned, washing away every hint of dissatisfaction that’d dared to cross his face. “That’s all right. You’re free to change your mind whenever you wish.” You forced your lips into a tight smile in return. “I appreciate it.” A part of you winced at the sudden formality in your tones. For some reason, you loathed whenever he got serious. It frightened you somewhat.
“You know, pip-squeak,” Caleb mused, his voice light, casual. Unnervingly so. Something in your stomach coiled—that familiar feeling of dread and anticipation. “Something tells me you’re not here for relaxation.”
You stilled, only for a little while. But it was enough. His gaze sharpened. “Tell me.” His eyes bore into yours—calculating, scrutinising, leaving no stone unturned. As if you were the experiment, and he, the mad scientist. Something venomous swirled in his violet hues. Like a dagger, or like the teeth of a snake—sharp, ready to pierce skin, waiting.
Unreadable.
Bolts of lightning ripped through the skies, illuminating a part of Caleb’s face to highlight the utter insanity brewing beneath his irises. A strong, dusty wind blew, sending shivers down your spine—though, you were unaware whether they were from fear or the cold. So, it was an oncoming storm.
Your fingers curled against the railing. Your sweat seeped onto its surface. You hesitated.
“Caleb, that’s—” A soft voice murmured. You let out a breathless laugh, flustered. “You’re not wrong.”
The air between you stretched taut. He remained silent, unmoving. Once again, silence had engulfed you, but this time, it wasn’t pleasant. Like a watchful eagle, Caleb waited.
You brushed strands of hair away from your eyes and glued your eyes to the birds instead. “You know, lately, I’ve just—I’ve been thinking,” you let your words tremble, “I—I’m sorry…” You gripped your chest. “I’ve been thinking that, maybe…” You swallowed, lowering your gaze. Perfect.
You inhaled sharply. “You were right.”
His brow raised. He seemed hooked.
“I thought about what you said—about my security. And you’re right. Although I’ve trained in the police, my combat knowledge is minimal. Linkon city is becoming less safe by the second, especially for me.” You closed your eyes. “Assuming what you said was true, about several corporations being after my head—well, my heart, I just can’t help but feel unsafe. Even when surrounded by my friends, even in my own home.” Your lips quivered. He listened with immaculate patience, as if he were picking apart your words, searching for a hidden subtext. “And now, everybody seems like hollow, empty beings. I can’t resonate with my patients; I can’t have fun with my friends. I feel so… isolated. So alone. And I realised,” you continued, “that despite all, you on the other hand? You were always there for me. In my heart, by my side. I could truly only be safe and happy when with you.”
Silence. The only sound in the air was the crackling of thunder.
You chanced a glance at him, watching how his eye twitched. Had he caught on? Were you in trouble? Was he mad? Your anxiety peaked at the slow inhale as he prepared to speak.
But then, his eyes softened.
“You should’ve just said so.” His voice was gentle, lacking the malice it once had. “You know you can always turn to me for help, right?”
Bingo.
Inside, you smirked. It worked. He fell for it. How could he not? You had been preparing for ages.
You’d won your first challenge. Arguably, it was the toughest one. If you’d failed—if he’d caught on, or noticed even the smallest hint of it having been a lie, your entire world would’ve crumbled. All that you’d worked for, gone. Rendered meaningless by your incompetence. You didn’t know what you would do afterward if that were to happen.
You let yourself appear small and vulnerable when you looked back at Caleb, attempting to highlight the anxiety in your eyes. “I know. I was planning to say it, but a perfect moment never came. Until now, that is.”
Caleb brought his palm to your cheek and cradled your face in his arms. “You don’t need an excuse to be honest with me. Whenever you feel like it, just lay your heart bare.”
“But you seemed so happy. Like you were enjoying yourself. I didn’t want to ruin it with my embarrassing thoughts.” You argued, forcing a frown on your face. He shook his head. “Once you’re done, we can go straight back to having fun if that’s what you want. Besides,” he averted his gaze, “It’s been on my mind all day—why you could be pretendin’ when you could’ve just told me. I was wondering how bad it was for you to be hidin’ it from me so desperately.”
You assumed as much. Explains why he seemed so jumpy earlier during breakfast, and why he kept zoning out the entire way here. It was what gave you the idea of using such deceit in the first place. You were sure if there was a perfect place to confront you about it, it would be here; under the witness of the setting sun, in a place you were bound to feel sentimental and thus, vulnerable and ready to spill it all out.
Unfortunately, you were not willing to fall for such a clear trap.
By the time you had left, the downpour had begun. Weighted beads of water stormed down on you viciously. The two of you rushed out before the storm could catch you. Well, one of you did. Caleb, who so valiantly used himself to shield you against the relentless tempest, had been completely drenched. Blobs of water dragged along the floor as he walked. You swore, if you squeezed him then, a whole waterfall would erupt. It was almost sweet—the way he so earnestly utilised his behemoth of a body to block out the storm’s ceaseless assault. It was something straight out of a romantic drama, or some sort of cliché film. But for some reason, you couldn’t cringe. You only laughed it off, paying no mind to the gentle flutter in your stomach.
The drive home was thrilling—abundant with giggles and snarky remarks thrown around. Perhaps you were in a better mood because your stomach was full—Caleb had been kind enough to treat you to supper in a small café situated on the middlemost floor of that building. The chef’s culinary expertise overflowed from the arrangement of exquisitely prepared Skyhaven delicacies. And the best part? They were quite cheap. Had you received a discount in honour of his presence? You didn’t know. But at the very least, you didn’t go broke after insisting that you split the bill 50/50. Despite having dried off, however, Caleb somehow wetted the seats.
Once home, both of you almost immediately collapsed onto the couch (you threw him off, of course, for soaking the furniture with the remnants of his heroism). He scrambled out of his clothes and cooked you both a warm plate of braised chicken wings shortly after. Dinner ensued normally this time, with a dearth of odd flinches or averted gazes. The two of you simply chatted to your heart’s content, both putting in equal effort to make it seem as if old times had returned.
Of course, it hadn’t. You were thrust back into reality when Caleb’s phone began to ring.
With a sidelong glance, he excused himself, making haste to his room and shutting the door behind him. You eyed the door, moving only when you were sure it’d clicked shut. Tip-toeing over to the kitchen, you bent down to eye the compartments underneath. There it was. Unmistakable, concrete—a file of unknown origin adorned with a sleek grey cover. You glanced over the counter. He wasn’t done yet. Your attention travelled back to the file.
But you paused. Tremors rippled through you as you slipped the ring off your finger and dropped it to the floor. With a measured kick, you pushed it further beneath the counter. Just to be safe. In case you were caught.
You reached into the compartment. Your entire arm was swallowed by darkness before finally, your fingers met the file. Cautiously, you pulled it out. The layer of dust coating its surface sprang up to your face as you dusted it. You made an effort not to cough.
The file’s edges were worn. Yet the pages inside appeared to be relatively new and untouched, perhaps even well-kept. A plastic sleeve shielded the grey manila folder from all sorts of debris. The pages inside were laminated and contained bundles of new words and information foreign to you. The file’s contents overwhelmed you. They appeared to be gibberish, nonsensical.
You deftly skimmed through the first few pages. None of the information contained within them seemed worthy of noting. Not to you, at least. There didn’t appear to be anything you didn’t know and was not known by the public. Then why was he reacting so oddly back then? Why had he flinched? Why had his gaze travelled back to his lap—or more specifically, to this file, as he anxiously fiddled with his fingers? You’d lured him away on purpose—dragging him outside the moment he could’ve gotten a chance to remove the file before you could grasp it. Was it all for nothing, then? Were you mistaken?
You stilled.
You weren’t mistaken after all.
Your fingers hovered over the fifth page.
There, in big, bold letters, was your name.
Inscribed upon the laminated page. And beside that lay your picture, alongside a list of unremarkable data, such as your date of birth, full name, affiliation, and so on.
Before you could investigate further, a voice called out your name. You hadn’t heard the door creak open.
You peered up from beneath the counter. Caleb’s face was contorted with horror—his pupils contracted; his body frozen. The hand holding his phone to his ear dropped to his side. He began to stride toward you.
You shoved the folder lazily into the compartment once more, ensuring no sound was emitted in the process. Adopting the most nonchalant expression you could, you lifted your head to face him. “Caleb,” you called out, a small pout gracing your lips, “I can’t reach the ring.”
He stopped. The act seemed to have taken effect. He cocked his head, eyes bearing into yours, as if ripping apart your soul itself for a trace of a lie. But you weren’t intimidated by his silent interrogation. You held your resolve, maintaining the façade with determined accuracy. Gradually, Caleb’s impishness returned.
“Dropped it?”
He fell for it so flawlessly, it almost irked you that he hadn’t put up a bigger fight. You pouted internally. Could he not have pretended not to buy it? For the sake of the thrill? Oh, well. A win’s a win.
You nodded. “I can’t reach it. Can you help me?”
He hurried to your side and hunched over. You noted the way his eyes skimmed over the document tucked away in the depths of the compartment, right where he’d left it, before it went to the gap underneath the counter. The subtle glint of your ring confirmed your honesty. He raised his hand and twirled his fingers in the air. As if a gust of wind had carried it here, the ring smoothly levitated out of the darkness and onto the countertop. You shot him a sheepish smile before returning to your feet to collect the ring.
Just as you slipped it onto your finger, Caleb grasped your chin between his fingers and turned you to face him. His eyes bore an unnerving intensity as they skimmed over your face. Were you busted? Had he caught on? You didn’t let the quiver reach your lips. Instead, you donned a perplexed complexion as he whisked your head around.
Once satisfied, he released you from his grip and ruffled your hair. “Just checking if you’d gotten dust on you.” You rolled your eyes in response. “I’m not a child anymore!”
“Anyway, anything wrong? That call seemed important.” You caught him zoning out, staring into the distance. You waved your hand before his face. “Earth to Caleb?”
He straightened himself. “Not really. I just… might return home a little late tomorrow. And I gotta leave tonight.”
You frowned. He had the audacity to lie to your face, knowing you were skilled enough to penetrate through whatever front he puts up. Pushing it would only add to the uncomfortableness of it all, so you sealed your lips instead.
You whined, although it came out a bit prolonged, before swatting his arm weakly. “But you said…”
“I know,” he sighed, “But duty calls.”
“Tell you what?” He brushed a stray strand away and cradled your cheek. For a moment, he glanced to the side, lost in thought, before he looked back at you and continued, “I’ll make it up to ya once I’m back. But with that being said, don’t stay up too late tomorrow, yeah?” You pretended to be unmoved, but a part of you jumped at the mention of recuperation. You wondered what it would be. Food, perhaps? Or maybe tickets to that movie you’d been dying to watch? Whatever it was, you couldn’t deny it enlivened you.
Caleb seemed to have noticed the somersaults you did, and the way you skipped around with joy behind those eyes. He smirked. “I’ll be leaving now. Get some rest. I’m sure you’re tire—achoo!” He hastily covered his mouth with his arm. Another sneeze. And another.
You narrowed your eyes and folded your arms over your chest. “Are you sure you won’t catch a cold? Although you probably already have…” you muttered the last part under your breath.
Caleb waved his arm dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be—” And another. “Yeah. Anyways, as I was saying, go to bed on time, alright?”
You shook your head, as if disheartened by his juvenile behaviour. “Alright. But, at least take some medicine or something. It’ll probably be one long night.”
When Caleb had left, the tempest roared at its prime. Despite having handed him two umbrellas, a string of worry coiled in your chest. Could he fend off against the raging winds that thumped against the sliding glass doors of the balcony and threatened to knock them over? No matter how strong a man, he was deemed fragile and brittle against the forces of nature. What if an uninvited bolt of electricity had happened to fall upon him as he walked? Was he even walking? You hoped not. At least vehicles were designed to protect people from lightning.
In the end, the quietude proved to be quite pleasant. You could immerse yourself in re-studying Harrison’s case without the fear of Caleb barging in and catching you red-handed.
You managed to skim over quite a lot of pages before hunger struck. Glancing up at the clock, the realisation dawned upon you that you had been at it for more than two hours. But it was a productive two-hour session with yourself, you’d say. But there were obstacles, nonetheless. As you’d suspected, Roan’s problematic behaviour had a completely different source from what you’d suspected Caleb’s to be. He acted on paranoia and insecurity, whereas Caleb seemed more insistent on the idea of protection. Roan’s obsession blinded his wit and caused him to act on impulse.
The kidnapping of Anne Lotte, although seemingly flawless, was conducted on a whim. Harrison executed his plan with merely a gun, a bundle of ropes, and some chloroform to sedate her. The alley Anne happened to be crossing through had no cameras, and as it was a secluded shortcut few were aware of, there were no passers-by to witness the crime. Nobody had gotten injured, thanks to Harrison’s prior police training, so there was no blood or evidence to be picked up. All other proof happened to be washed away by the rain shortly after.
From this timeline of events, it was clear that Harrison had gotten away with Anne’s kidnapping simply because of luck. If the stars hadn’t aligned during his sudden state of paranoia, Anne would be alive and well now. What an unlucky girl she was. It was almost as if fate had abandoned her.
Harrison had strength, but he was dim. That was what caused the inevitable discovery of Anne stashed away in his basement. Caleb, on the other hand, possessed both. Throughout high school, he had topped you almost constantly. No matter how hard you studied, no matter how many all-nighters you’d pulled, he would somehow manage to top you with a mere four or five hours of study before an examination.
You admit, you were envious of him throughout most of your teenage years, and you were appalled when he’d decided to tread a completely different academic path from yours. But nowadays, looking back, you realise that the only reason he’d made such an effort to conquer you was to be a reliable pillar of support if you were to falter. Which, inevitably due to the gallons of caffeine and hours’ worth of lost sleep, you did. Another irksome consequence of his undying affection that you had to suffer.
Even now, his wits and manipulation are clear. You were sure nobody rose to the rank of Colonel so swiftly without possessing immense intelligence. Caleb’s puppy eyes weren’t going to fool anyone. Not you, at least. They couldn’t hide the terrifyingly adept brain that lay beyond them.
Anne’s decline in mental well-being was predetermined. It was part of Harrison’s flawed plan all along. His insecurity left little room for actual care and affection to be expressed towards her, and as a result, he determined that breaking her resolve would be the surest way of ensuring submission. Of course, that did backfire for him. It led to her malnutrition, forecasted miscarriages, and her eventual suicide. Although you had no sure way of knowing what Caleb would’ve done, you were sure it wasn’t this.
Someone like him could predict such an outcome from a mile away. Breaking somebody’s mind, in this case, would be a reckless decision. And most importantly, his fatal flaw is that he loves too dearly and cares too much to be able to leave someone he admires to fend for themselves as he relentlessly shatters their psyche. He is too infatuated for that. His obsession stemmed from a desire to protect, not meaningless paranoia like Harrison’s. That explains why he would be unwilling to lay a finger on them.
And, of course, Caleb was a “manipulation>direct action” type of man. He had expressed his twisted desires to keep you confined and unable to flee once before, as he had been bandaging up your injured leg. But you were confident that his idea of confinement exists in a psychological state. He would bind your mind and heart to him, maneuver you to fall deeper into a psychical trap you could not escape. He would never directly imprison or confine. He would rewire your brain so that you willingly stuck yourself to him. It was a legal way to get what he wanted. And you didn’t doubt he could pull it off.
However, one thing to note was that he needed motive—proof that you were slipping from his grasp. As long as you remained on good terms, or pretended to, he would not need to resort to such methods.
Maybe.
Despite the dissimilarities, you were sure you could learn more to be able to counter his blows if he were to ever make some. But your main priority was still to cleanse his mind, to provide him with an opening to redeem himself and return to his normal life once more. Never mind your intentions. The contrast between their insanities led you to notice some peculiar things.
You turned to one of the back pages of your book and began scribbling down your thoughts.
Harrison and Caleb were merely two sides of the same coin. A cerberus with two heads. One who is impulsive, led on by rage and desire, and the other that is intelligent, driven by his loyalty to his master. But in the end, the cerberus is one complete being. If you split it in half, it will not regenerate like dividing cells. It will simply perish together. After all, both are two extremes.
Meaning if a lack of foresight could tackle one, then the other would fall for his over-calculation of things. They were both arrogant and full of themselves, believing only themselves and their strategies to be correct. In the end, they couldn’t see the 48 other heads lodged between the two—48 other ways to be “correct”.
The impulsive head aches to swallow his prey, to make incisions within his heart and stash them away in one of its chambers. And the cunning head too cuts, not his heart, but his lover’s brain, and detangles the strands only to twist them again, only this time in a way that would make them willing to stay. Resorting to such cruel yet more humane tactics implies that the fear of losing their treasure was rooted far more deeply in the intelligent cerberus rather than the dim one.
And what if fear is not another vulnerability to control?
Whereas Harrison is abundant in paranoia and insecurity, Caleb is almost wholly dominated by the extremity of positive emotions like love, care, and an overwhelming desire to protect. His unwillingness to hurt means that if you were to show even a single crack in your mind, the fear of you crumbling would force him to loosen his grip almost entirely, given that his side of the mind games had already begun. That would create the perfect opening for you to slip past and dash out to meet your freedom.
All you had to do was put on one more act.
Harrison’s impulsiveness, contrasting Caleb’s preparedness, also let you peer into another opening. If you continued to think of them as two sides of the same coin, then you could come upon this conclusion—if Harrison had a breaking point, so did he.
Harrison’s inevitable downfall and his psychological abuse of Anne was set into motion when the thought bit into his brain, whispering—“If you don’t tighten the leash, she will run away.” It was safe to assume that Caleb too had a breaking point. It was simply harder to reach. One side of the coin was made of bronze, whereas the other was constructed of tungsten. Both could melt, just at different speeds.
If you could provoke him up to that point, Caleb would be forced to reveal his hand. But, admittedly, picturing what could happen if he snapped was… unsettling. Precisely because you couldn’t picture it at all.
And thus, that would remain something you would try if you couldn’t get him to falter at all. A last resort, to be more specific.
And now, with your acquired information, you could weave your final plan: if he tried something anyway, you could paint a front of danger, as if his ‘advances’ and whatnot had thrown you into a state of endangerment, and if he didn’t back away immediately, it may cost him (and you) something precious. Whether it be your life, blood, or sanity, he cared too much not to abort instantaneously. Unlike Harrison, he wouldn’t act blindly—he’d justify his actions. If you could provide real consequences (consequences that mattered to him), you could alter his idea of justifications and compel him to rationalise his actions differently.
And how, exactly, would you achieve that? Well, that was something to figure out along the way. That was your motto—have a vague, surface-level plan, and build upon it as you go. If you had a solid, fool-proof plan, you wouldn’t have searched for information after arriving in Skyhaven.
To be honest with yourself, your knowledge on Caleb’s behaviour and your predictions on what may have happened next were minimal; certainly not enough to conclude that you were in any real danger, and certainly not enough to deduce that your initial assumptions could be utilised to orchestrate a surefire way of taking him down. You suppose you had to spend more time with him to come to a real conclusion. Of course, that wouldn’t be too easy, considering that you’d purposefully invaded at a time where he’d be busy juggling you and his duties simultaneously. You had your reasons. The perfect time to strike was when a man’s back was faced to you, and he was too busy with the happenings before him to notice the footsteps creeping up on him from behind. In short, right now, he was vulnerable. If he found out you were up to something, he would be too exhausted to think straight and thus he would falter. If you face an enemy far stronger than you, wear them down first, and then strike when they are on the verge of tears.
The real problem right now was how you could feign being endangered. For now, you’d come up with a few ways. Perhaps a more logical approach would be best for a start.
Skyhaven’s weather seemed mostly untouched. Save for yesterday’s storm, it remained relatively stable. With clear, cloudless skies, splashed with a unique blue, it was perfect weather—perfect air. Too perfect. Maybe the storm from yesterday lingered somewhere beneath the blues. It had to be. Nothing is truly calm—especially not here.
“Beautiful, isn’t it, Rhys?” you hummed. A flock of black ravens flitted past your window. The bitter scent of unbrewed coffee beans drifted in the café’s air. It was a scent you’d grown to admire. The perfect place to work, really. It opened your mind (and mouth) wide enough to effectively scribble away at one of your flimsy journals, analysing some patients’ consciousnesses or just gathering your thoughts. But today, you weren’t here for work.
“Probably because we’re so high up,” Rhys grinned, flashing his braced teeth. He was a tall man of dark complexion with thin brown hair kissing his shoulders. Rhys Vaughn—one of the few patients you’d reviewed in Skyhaven, involved with your limited history here. He used to be a drug addict and had nearly run over a child while stoned. To his luck, the child managed to escape mostly unscathed save for a broken limb, and thus, he got off with a relatively lighter charge. He was placed under your care while serving time in prison. Eventually, after a period of two years, you’d managed to lure him into making a full recovery. Now, he appeared before you, a new, clean man with a loving wife. But, above all, working with Rhys had one sure advantage—he was quite talented in the art of gathering information.
In his line of work as a technician, Rhys was required to have some basic computing skills. As a result, he’d undergone several computer science courses online, and he completely aced them. The coding shenanigans that couldn’t penetrate through your thick skull passed through his as if tearing through paper. He was skilled in what you were not; practical work. If there was anyone to call for some ethical hacking and information digging, it would be him. To Rhys, asking him to dig up information was the same as asking him to pass you the remote from across the room. You could put those skills to use.
“How’s your wife?” you gingerly sipped your coffee.
“She’s good. Hit a milestone in her art.”
“And you? How are you feeling?”
Rhys chuckled. “Still playing psychotherapist, miss?”
You shook your head with a sheepish smile. “Force of habit, you know? Can’t take my mind off work.” You waved your hand dismissively. “Really, though, how are you? Answer the question viewing me as… a friend.”
“I’m doin’ great!” He raised his hands dramatically in a gesture of joy. “Not delirious all day, actually sane and stable, able to keep relationships and eat something other than scrawny prison food. Yeah, couldn’t have been better.”
You smiled. Genuinely. “Good to know.”
Knowing your patient had achieved happiness fulfilled your purpose as both a psychotherapist and a human. Your mind recalled a skinnier Rhys sitting across from you on a long, white couch, lacking the sun in his eyes, which he now had multiple of, swirling about in his pools of bronze. His eyes back then; they were empty. He appeared a lifeless man with mould growing out of the pores of his skin. And now, he was here, sitting across from you, helping you just as you had helped him two years ago. It was a motherly pride that filled your chest, cascading through your nerves like a warm, sweet liquid. You couldn’t be happier.
“Anyway, what ya here for?”
You placed your hand under your chin and turned to look out the window.
“I remembered what you said, Rhys.”
He cocked an eyebrow and peered at you from over his cup as he sipped. You took it as a sign to continue. “You mentioned once that you owe me one, and that if I ever find myself in a stump in Skyhaven, I could call for you.”
“So,” he added a packet of sweetener into his coffee, “You want to take me up on that offer now? I thought you’d forgotten about me.” His countenance twisted to display mock hurt. “All right. I’m just playing. What’s it about?”
“I recently managed to earn myself a boyfriend,” you started, although cringing internally, “And I happen to doubt his mental well-being.”
Rhys kicked back on the plush of the chair. He’d figured it out already, you were sure, but you went on anyway.
“We just got together about 6 months ago. So, it’ll be hard to know enough to be able to help him.”
“So you want me to dig up some information about him?” He leaned closer. “What kind?”
“He’s an orphan. Doesn’t have family, pretends with his friends. But there are a few people he seemed close to. Some workers, mailmen, plumbers, you know. Those types of people I can never seem to get a hold of.”
“Should I fetch their contacts?”
“No.” You winced at the finality of your words. “I mean, yes, but not just that.”
Rhys cocked an eyebrow. An amused smirk crossed his face. Had he caught your lies?
“It’d be convenient if you could search for his transactions with them. Their backgrounds, history, et cetera. I have some… other doubts as well.”
With a large gulp, Rhys slurped up his coffee and wiped his face with a napkin. Only silence swayed between you two as he took his time to reply. He wasn’t thinking. Certainly not. But he lingered, nonetheless.
He knew, for sure.
“You know, little miss, I don’t know why you feel the need to fabricate when you know I don’t hesitate to dirty my hands.”
You glued your eyes to your lap.
“I owe you. And even if you asked me to kill a man, I’d do it.”
You let out a shaky exhale. “If I were still your therapist, I’d be scribbling on my notebook right now. But, considering I’m in a pinch, I’ll let it slide.” You smiled. “I appreciate your help, Rhys, and your respect for my privacy. I will forever be indebted to you.”
He swatted his hand about mindlessly. “Yeah, yeah. A name, please.” He slid you a slip of paper.
You plucked a pen from your coat and jotted down Caleb’s name before passing it across the table. Taking it between his fingers, Rhys eyed the name. He lingered there for a beat too long. Something was up. Your suspicions only spiked with the subtle twitch of his finger. A light of recognition crossed his bronze irises before fading just as swiftly. In a flash, his grin returned, and he pocketed the slip of paper before springing to his feet. “All right. Tomorrow, I’ll text you with whatever I find.”
You lowered your head. “Again, thank you.”
That night, Caleb returned late. Uninjured, thankfully, but acting odd nonetheless. In his hands, a small bag was clutched. You recalled his words—“I’ll make it up to you.”—and it took a lot for you to resist leaping from the couch and snatching the bag from his hands. What stopped you, aside from the fear of appearing awfully juvenile, was the exhaustion etched into his face.
When his eyes met yours, however, his complexion brightened immediately. Still clad in his uniform, Caleb kicked off his boots and strode towards you. A weariness weighed his movements. The strongest man you’d ever seen, both physically and mentally—your pillar of strength—stumbled across the room like a golden puppy dragging its injured leg along the floor, wagging its tail and paying no mind to its pain. You felt stabbed in the chest. For a man of such power, he could be absolutely endearing at times.
“Miss me, pip?” Caleb leaned down to ruffle your hair affectionately. You shut off your phone to smile at him. Your eyes enlarged as his familiar face appeared before you, but a frown tugged at your lips at the dark stains under his eyes. You reached your hand out to caress the blackened bags of flesh.
“You didn’t sleep.”
He cradled your face in turn. “Neither did you.” A flick to your forehead caused a pout to form on your face.
“I wasn’t working my ass off.”
“And I was. I know. I’m sorry.” He set his colonel cap on your head. The accessory dwarfed your skull, sinking down until it obscured your vision. Caleb stifled a laugh at the sight.
He noted the way your eyes drifted to the bag in his hand—the bag that was coated with crimson and shiny gold accents, which gave away very little about its contents. Sensing your curiosity, he handed the bag to you.
“The lady asks, and I deliver.” He bowed curtly. You both broke into merry laughter.
Stashed away in the depths of the tiny bag was a rectangular velvety jewellery case, coloured similarly to the bag, down to the gold accents. The mere surface of the case seemed extravagant enough to satisfy your greed even in the absence of the jewellery itself. You stared in awe. Were you truly deserving of the real gem hidden inside? Your fingers traced the engraving on the case’s surface. A remarkable brand. There was a lump gathering in your throat. It felt sacred to hold something so precious, so expensive. You were no high priestess or beloved queen—not worthy enough to clutch a revered artifact. And yet, Caleb’s eyes bore into yours with a gentleness that could bring you to tears. And it did. You felt tears threatening to form. You were sure he noticed.
A sudden wave of guilt knocked the wind out of your lungs. Just hours before, you’d been conspiring against him, digging up information that could potentially be labelled as an invasion of one’s privacy, and threading together a plan that was catered to go against him, to take him down. You knew you weren’t doing anything wrong. You were helping him. Guiding him to a path of happiness, just as you did with your patients, just as you did with Rhys.
Just as you would have with Harrison and Anne.
If only your incompetence hadn’t gotten them killed, they could walk their own paths today. You closed your eyes. An image flashed before you. A flimsy blonde girl with scars littering her arms, crossing a bridge, heading towards a field of flowers with her dead child clutching her hand. And a battered older man going the opposite way—a path towards a blinding light, the path to redemption.
You wouldn’t let it happen again.
There was nothing to be guilty of. Your fingers curled tighter against the fabric of your pants. There was nothing to be guilty of. You weren’t in the wrong. This was for the greater good. They’d understand. They surely would, once they realised that the path you chose for them was a more tranquil one.
But did you risk losing yourself in the process?
“Not going to open it? Your head’s been stuck in the clouds for about thirty seconds now.” Caleb loosened his tie before seating himself next to you. “Something on your mind? Is the casing not to your liking?”
You shook your head. “I’m just… you’re exhausted beyond belief right now, and you went through all that trouble… I don’t deserve this.” You frowned. “I’m so sorry for making you ‘make up’ to me. I didn’t know you’d go that far, I—”
Strong arms coiled around you, drawing you in. You felt the steady, yet surprisingly slow beats of his heart from where you were nestled against his chest. Fingers wove through your hair, offering a sense of solace you hadn’t felt in a while. With a low, careful tone, he whispered. His lips brushed against your ear. “Don’t say anything.”
And you obeyed.
For a moment, you remained steady. Silent. Your lips were pursed, and your heart beat fast—a stark contrast to his. You sank deeper into his embrace. Your grip faltered, and you eventually gave in to his presence entirely. Your body slumped against his, but he seemed to have no trouble bearing your weight. For a moment, you considered letting the tears flow. But a part of you clawed against the muscular wall of your heart in retaliation, screeching in protest. Something screamed danger, despite you being the safest you’d ever been right now.
With steady arms, Caleb brought your palm, which was weakly clutching the jewellery case, to your chest. “I had this ordered for months. I was just waiting for the right moment to pick it up. So,” with his other hand, he tousled your hair, “Don’t think you were a bother. And honestly? I can’t name a single woman more deserving of this than you.”
A faint blush coated your cheeks. But you shook it off before he could see. Renewed courage surged through you, and your fingers made their way to the hook of the case.
Carefully, you slid it open.
A white gleam.
There, perched amidst the plush, was a delicate, thin bracelet made of what appeared to be sterling silver. The chain itself was of a unique geometric design consisting of circles, ovals, and a myriad of shapes you couldn’t name. The expert craftsmanship showed in the presence of the bracelet’s seamless links and its shiny, polished clasp. You ran your fingers over the chain. The material was smooth, devoid of bumps or rough edges—things you’d usually find in low-quality bracelets.
You remembered complaining to him once how half of your bracelets used to dig into your skin, to which he’d reply with a smile, “One day, you won’t have to wear uncomfortable jewellery.” Back then, you’d brush it off with a “Oh, that day better come soon!”. But now, considering the significant amount of effort put into smoothing the surface, you wondered if this was what he truly meant.
The primary point of attraction, however, lay not in the bracelet’s gleam or smoothness, but in the moderately sized white gemstone hanging from it—a gorgeous pendant.
You opened your mouth, but no words came. Caleb chuckled. “White sapphire.”
You pressed your lips into a thin line. What could you say? You were surprised your jaw wasn’t kissing the floor by now.
Speechless, you ran your fingers along the gemstone. It weighed a bit more than you’d expected—an insignificant difference, really, but notable nonetheless. Perhaps it was pure. If that was the case, then it didn’t help with your simmering guilt.
“Here,” Caleb snatched the jewellery from your fingers, “Let me help you with that.”
Deftly, he slid the bracelet down your wrist and clasped the hook. You raised your arm, watching as the white sapphire that dangled from the thin chain glittered beneath the pencils of light. Your lips parted in awe.
“Promise me,” your attention shifted to Caleb as he brought your jewelled wrist to his chest, “That you won’t take this off.”
“Like how you’re glued to that dog tag I gave you?” You giggled. His lips curled into a soft smile. “If that’s how you want to put it.”
“Okay.” You placed your free palm atop his. “I promise, I’ll cherish this forever.”
“If you don’t, I’ll be really hurt.” He feigned a pout. But the yearning in his eyes was real.
You shook your head. “You’re impossible.”
“I know.” Caleb brought your palm against his face, sinking into your warmth. You stilled for a moment. This was way too intimate. But the guilt glued you in place, restricting you from moving away. Or was it his endearing affection? Nonetheless, pulling away felt like a crime. He’d handed you such a priceless treasure; could you not indulge him for a moment and let him bask in your radiance?
You choked back the sinking feeling in your gut to let him have his way with your arm. He was acting like a starved puppy. Cute, yes, but a little overbearing and unsettling. Almost as if the puppy brushing up against you had blood smearing its teeth. Of course, it was just your paranoia, and nothing was really there.
Nothing visible, at least.
In spite of your passionate protests, Caleb insisted on whipping up a late-night snack for you. And so, you were practically forced into your seat on the counter as you were made to watch him scurry through the kitchen. The heated pot sizzled in objection to the cold oil poured onto it. You’d made up your mind to just observe as he worked, in case you could find an opening or an excuse to help, but you were distracted by a notification on your phone.
Rhys.
You looked up at Caleb. He appeared too deeply immersed in his cooking to notice the small ding of your phone. Bringing the device under the shade of the counter, you opened your chat with Rhys.
“Miss, this is important.”
Your brow furrowed. “Found anything?”
“Well, yes. A few things. But first, I think I really gotta come clean with this.”
You silently typed out a reply. “Go on.”
“That guy? Caleb Xia? I know him.”
You froze, fingers hovering over your keyboard. Rhys continued typing.
“I worked for him in the past. He needed something installed in his home. I was the one who took up the job.”
“Install what?”
“Cameras.”
A void formed in your stomach. A sudden chill enveloped the air. You shivered involuntarily. Cameras. He had cameras in his house. Your head whipped about the room, scouring every wall and every corner for a hint of something that could be labelled as a camera. Something prickled the skin on the back of your neck. Caleb’s back was turned to you. But still, you felt something watching you from the shadows.
Paranoia. You couldn’t let it consume you.
“I found it odd back then,” Rhys continued, “He had it installed in his rooms. The bedrooms,” You studied Harrison’s case in one of them, “The living room, the hallways.” Dread crippled into your being. It was as if someone had thrown a pebble across a calm pond, causing violent ripples to tear through the once-steady surface.
“And also,”
He paused.
“The kitchen.”
A clot. In your throat. Your lungs constricted.
He knew.
Caleb knew.
That you’d stumbled across that document.
Images of a collected Caleb smiling down at you as you knelt against the counter resurfaced in your brain. The way he so nonchalantly fetched the ring for you, the act he’d put on just now. The act you’d believed.
You gazed down at the white bracelet clasped around your wrist. What used to be a remarkable work of superior craftsmanship transformed into a heavy chain made to tether you to him. ”I promise, I will cherish this forever.” You really were going to throw up.
With shaky hands, you shut your phone. Your eyes returned to the bracelet.
It wasn’t a gift. It was an anchor to bind you to him. To trick you into forming a vow you couldn’t break.
Shit.
You walked right into a trap.
Blind and oblivious. A moth to a flame.
The circular kitchen lights buzzed overhead. A flicker of light flashed past the window—a ghastly apparition, watching. You whipped your head towards it in an attempt to catch it before it fled. There was nothing. Were you seeing things? Paranoia. It was simply your fear—your body preparing itself to become hyper-aware of its surroundings. A consequence of the natural fight or flight response. You were paranoid. You were aware. But that didn’t help how every shadow felt darker, how every corner untouched by the kitchen’s dim light seemed to host an entity.
Your whole time here, you were being watched. How much had he seen?
“You seen a ghost?”
It took every bit of your strength to not leap off your seat. You looked up at him, then eyed the plate nestled in his palm. It was hard to trust him right now.
Under the faint light, half of Caleb’s face remained shrouded in an ominous shadow. His violet hues gleamed from beneath the darkness menacingly as they peered down at you. Beyond the cloak of darkness, however, his countenance seemed normal.
But you couldn’t shake the dread off.
An invisible shiver tiptoed down your spine. You forced a smile. “I got startled by the flash of lightning.”
“It’s stormin’?”, he placed the plate down on the counter before turning to the large windows. “Again?” A bolt of electricity ripped through the sky. Caleb turned to you with a smirk. “Still afraid of thunder, pip-squeak?”
Afraid of you., you wanted to say, but you bit your lip. It was best you avoid giving him reasons to put a collar on you. For now, you had to stay low.
“I’m not.” You huffed, folding your arms over your chest. A forced blush crept up your neck. “I’m just… anyway, the food looks amazing!” You swiftly snatched the dish from his hands, leaving him slightly dumfounded as he lingered where the dish once was. With the help of his evol, Caleb pushed a pair of utensils your way. You were glad you suppressed the flinch that threatened to ripple through you. For the first time in your life, his evol terrified you.
The bed groaned under your weight as you suspended yourself entirely onto it. The mattress dipped beneath you. Even his bed, which, to you, had once been the comfiest bed in the anthropology of beds, felt like a cage. You could feel metallic tendrils crawling from beneath it, wrapping over your form as you slept, encasing you like a cocoon would. Perhaps that’s all you were to Caleb. A butterfly, useful only for its grace and the tranquility it brought. Meant to be wrapped away in a cocoon and let out only when it bloomed. The part of you bound to your profession begged to differ—clearly, that was not the case. Clearly, his feelings ran deeper than that. A complex tapestry of twisted adoration, infatuation, and perhaps even hatred or rage.
But that didn’t stop your feelings from thrashing about in a frenzy, did it?
It’s a simple truth. Many, if not all, of the patients you reviewed struggled with something similar to it. Their brains were aware of the truth, but their hearts refused to comply. It was a plague, killing them from the inside. Their loved ones resorted to presenting the truth before them. And their brains knew, lodging the processed data as it normally did. But the heart is a stubborn thing. Some things it refuses to accept.
At this point, you would become the patient.
A part of you urged yourself to bash your head against the wall for not predicting such a bold move on his end sooner. You were close to figuring it out. A part of the reason why you’d always gone to the bathroom to change included this subtle feeling of being watched. So, with your hands still gripping the ends of your shirt, you kicked open the bathroom door and changed there instead. You were glad you’d done that, of course, but you couldn’t hate yourself more for not pondering a second longer on the feeling of being watched. If you had, you were confident you’d have figured it out before he could notice. You were supposed to be ahead of him.
You were about to reopen the chat, but the sensation of a chilling pair of eyes drilling into your head halted your decision. The bedrooms also had cameras. But where? And how good was their image quality? Could he have read the contents of your journal, perchance? Could he see your chat even from up there? Your initial thought was to position yourself away from the camera. Find a blind spot, maybe. But all those ideas were rendered useless considering you were unaware of its position.
You could open your phone and check for any flashes of red or purple from infrared LEDs, which would most definitely be present assuming the cameras were equipped with night vision. But committing to such a dumb move would expose your knowledge of his ‘control’. You were sure twirling about the room in the dark with your phone’s camera on would leave no room for assumptions. What excuse would you bring? That you were so awe-struck by the lack of artistic interior design in Caleb’s room that you felt tempted to record it all and store it on your ‘top-10 things to not do while constructing a home’ list? Yeah, no. He would figure you out faster than Rhys had in the café.
You didn’t want to imagine what would happen next.
So, you resorted to the last thing you could think of.
You reached for a thin blanket and threw it over yourself. Protection. He couldn’t see what you were up to, even if he tried. And what excuse did one need to huddle up under a blanket?
You switched your phone open and scrolled through the messages you couldn’t read.
“I’d gotten it done a few days ago.” Right before your arrival at Skyhaven. He gauged your intentions so swiftly. A chill ran down your spine. You couldn’t tell whether it was from the storm’s frosty wind.
“Pretty high-tech stuff. With night vision and all. It was odd. I should’ve questioned it. But it wasn’t any of my business. So I left it.”
“I did some digging on his background. And, miss, I have to ask you—are you aware of his profession?”
You sighed, threading your hair through your fingers. You hadn’t asked him to dig up dirt on that matter.
“I’m not sure if I should be telling you, but—”
“I know,” you typed back. “I know about it very well.”
“I’m not sure if I should be getting involved in this. Surely, you understand?”
He knew too much. And for that, you had to let him go. Even if he hadn’t approached you first. You’d have to. Because honestly, you were scared of what that man could do. Scouring any further would prove risky for him. The last thing you wanted to do was put a man happily living his married life in inconceivable danger for the sake of your selfish desires. It was a cruel thing to do. Although you’d technically used him, it was your last wish to be selfish.
“I understand. I’m sorry for getting you caught up in this. Should I pay you for your troubles?”
“No need for that. I barely did anything. But, I will tell you this.”
You watched as the three small dots enlarged and shrank as he typed.
“Recently, some personnel were recruited under his command to be appointed to more general tasks. That’s the most I can tell you. Searching any further’s gonna cost me my head.”
You didn’t push Rhys any further. You thanked him for his service and were about to log off when he sent one last text message.
“Little miss, I know you’re determined in whatever you’re tryna do. But please. For your sake, leave Skyhaven and forget about this.” You gripped your phone a little tighter. Exhaling shaky breaths, you shuffled under the blanket. You knew Rhys was right, and that he only spoke from a place of genuine care and respect. You knew you should’ve taken his advice and ended your vacation here. But you couldn’t. Not when you’d gotten so far. You were too deep into this. You were sure that Caleb wouldn’t let you leave either—he was (most likely) aware that you’d stumbled upon that document. Whatever it was, it wasn’t something he wanted you to see. And he wasn’t going to let you flee so easily after unearthing such a disastrous secret of his.
But you had to say, he needed to practice being discreet more often.
“Protect yourself. If things go south, you can’t escape. The whole of Skyhaven is controlled by his fleet.”
You sighed. There was nothing to say to that. But you were sure it wouldn’t come to you having to physically run from the authorities and escape the land in secrecy. Physical restriction was something Caleb couldn’t bring himself to do, even if he was injected with all the liquid courage in the world. His care for you ran too deep, even if he had mentioned it in a fit of rage. You’d defend that belief with your life.
Why were you defending him again? Oh, well.
But if it came to mentally detaching yourself from him, well, that… you weren’t so sure. It just so happened that you’d been so full of yourself before arriving here that you’d completely forgotten to ponder the possibility of having to flee on short notice. Simply put, if worst came to worst, you had no plan to save yourself.
You agreed that Caleb did have influence. And, unfortunately, that could often overpower the authority over one’s mind and heart. After all, the realm we truly resided in was the physical realm, not the psychical one. If anything were to bind you in the physical world, you couldn’t escape from it even in your mind. In other words, you’d be trapped here, body and soul.
“Don’t worry,” you lied, “I have it under control.”
And with that, you ended your conversation with Rhys.
It was only a matter of awaiting the occurrences of tomorrow now. You wondered what the weather would be like the next day. Would it storm again? Or would Skyhaven finally see an endless period swarmed by the warm west breeze? The only thing you could do was close your eyes and wait and see.
Except, you couldn’t sleep.
Three hours had passed as you rolled about on the large contemporary bed, making a sleepless mess of yourself. You winced at the way your hair clung to your head, warm and sticky. Like lukewarm goo. You twirled a lock on your index, only to be surprised at the absence of the goo you were picturing. Were you imagining things? Nonetheless, your body ached for a good, cold shower. You switched your phone open to check the time. 4 AM. Oh, well. What better place was there to collect your thoughts than under the sprinkle of an artificial shower?
You hugged yourself a little tighter as the cold beads of water commenced their assault on your head and dripped down your sides. You trembled heavily, but you let yourself do so. It was the collection of your fear from the past few days bolting out of your body at once. Finally, you could let out the shaky breaths you’d been withholding. It was only within the confines of enclosed foggy glass and under a gentle spray that you could truly let yourself loose and breathe freely once more.
People underestimate how arduous it is to put up fronts. Acting wasn’t easy. Especially when your life practically depended on it. It was like waltzing through a stage, but instead of expectant guests and observers anticipating your fall, there were 500 archers and the world’s best snipers aiming for your head, all while you were bound not to break your dance. Put on a show and attempt to please your pursuers. The chance of failure was almost certain. Even the best of dancers and actors fail to escape such a scenario.
And that was the gamble you were willing to take—fighting; no, dancing for the nonexistent chance that you may save your head, all in the sake of helping somebody you found yourself caring for a lot more than you were willing to.
Your eyes trailed to the bracelet resting near the sink. When he had handed you that gift, you felt… truly happy. A feeling you hadn’t felt before. Like your heart had burst open, and a myriad of colours had strewn out in a frenzy. Like your skeleton had been immersed in warm pond water, and a flock of underwater lilies caressed your skin.
For the first time in a long while, you felt as if you were needed for a cause beyond that of your profession.
That you mattered to him as much as your patients did to you, or perhaps even more. In his eyes, you could see a care that extended beyond what you could comprehend. A desire to keep you close and by his side, basking in your warmth forever.
A long time ago, you’d frozen your heart.
All because you believed there was no place in this world for your emotions.
To be someone else’s haven, you had to forsake your own.
The moment Caleb had handed you that bag, you felt as if your life had gained a new meaning. In the end, you were just a girl like all others, and he had made you embrace that.
For a moment. Only for a moment.
Because now, the silver you once admired reminds you of the silver of a chain. The chain was thin and fine, for it was not made to restrain you, but to help you grow accustomed to the existence of a shackle on your mind. It was suffocating to wear it. But a part of you wondered—what if his affection is genuine? Then, would it be so bad to give in? Well, he was the only one who made you feel alive. Perhaps, if you just stayed…
No. You shook your head. Strings of water flew off your hair and hit the glass walls. This was exactly what he wanted, wasn’t it? To make you accustomed to his control. To silently persuade you into giving in out of your own volition.
Caleb wanted a reaction. Any hints that you were being sucked and molded in the black hole he set up for you. If that’s what he wanted, all you had to do was withhold it from him, no? Just stop reacting. Act normal, put some subtle distance between you two, and watch as he crumbled beneath your finger.
You shut off the shower and rolled your hair back on your head. That’s right. You had to submerge yourself back into your monochromatic world. Only then would he falter, knowing all his advances had failed.
You stepped out of the shower, bringing with you a trail of water as you walked. A small white towel was wrapped around your head, and a bigger one coiled around your torso. You snatched the bracelet off the sink after changing into your new clothes. No matter how you felt about it, you made a vow. And for the sake of your ideals, you would not stray from it.
The hardest part about experiencing your first loss was that you had to regain control afterwards. Fail this step, and watch as the spear cuts through your stomach inch by inch. And if you cannot truly regain control, form the illusion of it.
You eyed yourself in the mirror. A crease was present between your brows. Taking the cream off the vanity, you began applying it in long swipes across your skin. Caleb still used the same cream as before, huh?
Act as if nothing had happened. That was the best you could do for now. And to form a plan to actually reclaim your throne, you needed some alone time. Away from this house. Away from the prying eyes perched in every corner of every room, and away from him.
The cream melted into your skin.
It was about time you began searching for an excuse to get out of the house and stray from him. Perhaps you could look for work. A new patient. Something that came up urgently? Or was it better for you to be more subtle? Just whip up an excuse to go hang out with friends? Not that you had any friends in Skyhaven. And if he asked to tag along? What then?
You released yourself from the towel and reached for your shirt.
A sigh passed your lips. Seems it would just be best to find some work. But save for Rhys and a few others, barely any of your patients lived in Skyhaven. And even if they did, would you just go knocking on their doors and creating a new mental issue in their stead that somehow needed urgent fixing? That wouldn’t do. You required real work.
Perhaps it was a problem best saved for tomorrow. Right now, your starving stomach demanded some attention.
The kitchen lights flickered on with a buzz. One of them didn’t light. You’d better tell Caleb about it tomorrow.
The hum of the fridge increased in volume as you strode towards it with heavy steps. Inside, an arrangement of food lay: some in boxes, some bare, some bottled. Your eyes narrowed. They seemed to have been recently stocked. You bet his fridge had been empty up until your visit.
You snatched a plate of dinner’s leftovers and gathered a few utensils to accompany you. And with that, you plopped down on the couch, not bothering to turn on the lights. It risked waking him up, after all. You wouldn’t want that. Especially now.
Shuffle shuffle.
Something stirred beside you—a figure shrouded in darkness. You nearly launched your fork into its heart when a familiar arm reached out to wrap around your wrist. “It’s just me,” a groggy voice responded. You threw yourself off the couch and rushed to turn on the lights.
Caleb. It was just him.
You pinched the bridge of your nose. “You—” Your accusing finger pointed in his direction. “Why are you awake?”
His violet eyes skimmed over your form, stopping at your toweled hair. “Likewise.”
Sluggishly, you returned to your plate and picked up the fork. Caleb nestled himself by your side. “You took a shower? At 4:30 in the mornin’?”
“Why are you here? On the couch? I don’t recall seizing every single one of your rooms.”
He breathed a sigh. “I’ve made an enemy of insomnia, and it’s been chasin’ me ever since.” He turned to you. “Maybe you can help with that.”
“I don’t know what you take me for, but,” you stuffed a portion of food into your mouth, “I’m half-dead right now. Therapists are humans too.”
“But,” you wiped the corner of your mouth and finished up, “Still, I’m ready to listen.”
Caleb shook his head. “I was messin’ around, pip.”
“Such a tease, even when sleep-deprived.”
You pressed your fingers into his temple and soothed the area. Your fingers moved gingerly, as if the slightest slip-up could cost you one of them. The man under you gradually relaxed. His body sank deeper into the couch.
“Come on, Caleb. What’s the hold-up? I know you’re hiding something,” you cooed. His sealed eyes didn’t help with trying to see through him. But you pressed on nonetheless.
You leaned forward slightly, pinching his forehead a little harsher than you would have. Finally, he opened his eyes, only to glue them to the ceiling instead.
“I’m not going to force you into a 12-step rehabilitation programme.”
“I know, it’s just…” his eyes never left the ceiling, “You’re tired. I’m tired. We all need a break. You’re not entitled to help me.”
You hummed. “You’re right. I’m not.”
Caleb let out a small sigh of relief as you pressed down on that one spot on his forehead. You continued to massage the area for a while before moving on to the next.
“I’m doing this out of my own volition. I want to listen to you. And whether I’ll help, well, that depends on what it is.”
Picking up on the slightest droop of his lips, you continued, “But, unless it’s a tedious task like climbing a skyscraper with nothing but my bare hands, I won’t refuse you.”
Caleb’s eyes didn’t move from the ceiling lights as he contemplated. You could see the weight of decisions bearing down on his mind, and you worked your fingers accordingly to soothe him whenever he faced a mental obstruction. Your smile widened.
With one finger, you moved his gaze to you instead. “All right, mister. I know the ceiling’s looking quite lavish today, but I’m sitting right here, fighting for your attention.”
Caleb grinned. Subconsciously, his eyes travelled to your lips. You found yourself tensing up for a moment, but you swallowed it. Just how you were trained. But uneasiness overtook your nerves. Why was he looking at them like that? As if he yearned to devour them whole?
“You can’t outsmart me at this hour, Caleb. See?” You lifted your arms before placing them back on his temple. “I’m not writing any notes or anything.”
“It’s not that.”
“You make it seem like it is.” You sighed. “You don’t need to use big words. Just tell me what you need.”
“All right, then. Can I ask you for a favour?”
You hummed. “Depends on what it is.”
His eyes fluttered. You tensed as they lingered on your lips once more before they moved to meet your eyes. He seemed incredibly exhausted. “I have a friend,” he began, “And she’s been… off.”
“A fleet member?”
“Yes.” He let out a soft groan as your fingers continued to massage his temple. “You met her. She’s the guard at the garden we visited.”
Your mind recalled her stature. Tall, brooding, albeit intimidatingly, with curly ginger locks and tan skin. You remembered her.
“I’ve been worried about her mental well-being. She experienced a devastating divorce lately. And ever since, she’s been acting… you know. Distant. Violent. Is a little rougher with her underlings. I gave her a break, demoted her temporarily to the position of a guard. But she isn’t improving.”
Your brow furrowed. The behaviour he described seemed like the usual displays of pent-up anger and resentment following a horrid event. But what bothered you wasn’t the normalcy of her situation.
It was the fact that you’d failed to pick up even a sliver of negative emotions from her as your eyes landed on her face.
A therapist’s eyes were made to penetrate flesh and scour the soul with ease. Especially yours—considering your previous position. How come Caleb just happened to notice, whereas you entirely missed it? You were unsure whether his eyes were better than yours, or you were simply dozing off at that moment and unable to catch a glimpse, or…
Was it a hole in his story?
Still, the kindness and concern Caleb had shown towards his fellow colleague filled you with a sense of warmth you loathed. It felt genuine. But you couldn’t feel like this. Not with somebody like him.
“So, I guess you figured it out by now.”
Your fingers halted. Your eyes drifted in thought. “When should I visit her?”
“Tomorrow. I’ll give you the address. Should I tag along?”
“No,” you winced at the severity of your tone. In a frenzy, you reiterated, “She might be unwilling to open up if you tag along.”
He nodded in understanding. “Tomorrow, then. For now, let’s get some sleep.” In a swift motion, he pulled you onto him and buried your head into the crook of his neck. A red tint coated your cheeks, but you didn’t protest. Act normal.
You’d called for work, and work came to you. Sometimes, fate (and perhaps your luck) left you awe-struck.
But, this time, for some reason, you weren’t sure whether this was God’s plan or the Cerberus’.
No storm crackled through the air that day. Only an endless mass of grey clouds hovered over Skyhaven’s sky, still brewing, lingering, as if the storm were awaiting the right moment to unleash its shower. The air was damp, humid, but stiflingly hot. In spite of the absence of the sun, the heat rendered you as disgraceful as a panting dog. The metro was stuffed to the brim. People squeezed against you as you struggled to grip onto something. The heat radiating off the enraged passengers did not help in cooling you down. Quite a contrast to your initial thoughts that you could find a moment of respite in the metro’s air conditioning. Unfortunately for you, you couldn’t even manage to find a seat.
Luckily, trains moved fast. It was only a matter of five minutes before you pushed your way through and out of the suffocating swarm of people. Perhaps, you should’ve taken up Caleb’s offer for the car. But who knew what trick he had installed in there? Another camera? Or even a tracker? You were better off walking.
You fidgeted with the pendant of your bracelet. Caroline’s house was eerily quiet. Not a single beam of light peered out of her curtained windows. Only darkness emerged from underneath the front door. She lived in an isolated villa, something akin to a bungalow. Red-bricked, with mould growing off the walls, the small garden before the house was overgrown with ferns and invasive plants. Mushrooms grew off one side of the house. A foul stench permeated through the air.
She had a pool as well, somewhere near the back of the house that you could only catch a glimpse of as you arrived at the front gate. But that small glimpse was enough to know the state it was in—the water was rotting. Fallen leaves decayed on its surface, turning the once-blue waters into a murky yellow-green. If you weren’t any smarter, and if the decay had been any faster, you’d think it was a pond, not a pool. It smelled like wildlife as well—the damp, fungal musk of rot.
It surprised you how bad the smell near the house had accumulated, considering how large the bungalow’s verandas were, how abundant the number of windows, and how open the air around it was. Her house was isolated from the main roads. Only strips of vibrant green land stretched around it for acres. And to add to the advantages of the location, you were standing atop the windiest parts of the land. Knowing this, you wondered—where was the ammonia-like stench coming from? It was as if an entire crowd had relieved themselves across the garden and into the pool. If you hadn’t known better, you’d have believed it, if not for the large iron gates that were padlocked shut.
You rang the doorbell. No response. Your head craned to the top floors. The sliding glass doors near the veranda were open. The white curtains drifted in the air. Somebody was home.
You pressed your finger against the doorbell again. Once more, only silence greeted you. Something felt wrong. You’d imagined it to be a result of depression at first, but now, something felt off. Something lurked beneath the waters, threatening to erupt.
After a few more tries, you stepped away from the door. If she wasn’t going to let you in, you’d just leave.
Walking across the pavement, you pulled out your phone to quickly type a short apology message to Caleb. But that was when something caught your eye.
The back gate. It was open.
Your feet came to an abrupt halt. To get a closer look, you maneuvered your body and took a few steps. You weren’t mistaken. Alongside the gate, the back door was pried open as well.
You strode past the black pool until you were directly facing the looming red door. The stench was only increasing in intensity. But this time, you could smell something else. Something you couldn’t catch before.
Old blood and flesh.
You opened your phone’s camera and aimed it at the door. Just in case, you thought. With your free hand, you pushed it open.
The room inside was dark. Pots and various random clutter were littered on the ground. You made an effort not to step on them, but you found yourself stumbling nonetheless. In a hurry, your fingers worked to pry the curtains apart and swing the windows open one by one. You subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief at the sudden gust of fresh air passing through the openings. Finally, some ventilation.
The phone’s recorder blinked.
The little light from outside illuminated the room just enough for you to be able to spot the light switch. Hurrying over, you flicked it.
The lights flickered on with a static buzz. The back door led to the kitchen. Or, well, you assumed it was one. You couldn’t tell because of the ruckus. It appeared as if a fight had occurred here. Either that, or Caroline was one messy individual. You doubted the latter.
The kitchen sink was clogged. A broth of mould, discarded food, and fish bones lay inside. You stopped yourself from gagging and throwing up your breakfast. The kitchen didn’t need another mess. It was suffering enough.
On the floor lay dirt tracks. Footprints—messily removed by rubbing more mud on top. Somebody was here. Could they still be here?
Dread finally seized you. Your foot stilled, and you found yourself unable to move any further. As if fate itself urged you to leave. To turn and leave out the back door as swiftly as you’d entered. But you couldn’t. Something was up, and a greater scandal could’ve been at play. You couldn’t leave. Not now. Not when you’d sunk one foot in already.
You dragged yourself along the battered tiles, entering room after room and flicking the lights on before swinging the windows open each time. Downstairs was empty. You’d checked everywhere—in the two living rooms, dining, and across all the hallways. You even made sure to check under the sofas. The static in your mind grew louder. It pierced through your ears painfully from the inside out, busting your eardrums until your head throbbed so violently you thought it would implode. The nothingness told you to not go.
You pushed yourself back onto your feet and bolted up the stairs. You searched all the rooms, throwing the doors open and spinning about the entire area before moving on to the next. Eventually, you’d scoured all the rooms. Save for one.
The demon gurgling inside you moved as your eyes landed on the door. The master bedroom door.
You held the camera up to your face and placed your hand on the doorknob.
With a sickening and loud creak, the door crept open.
You held your palm against your nose. The scent of ammonia was strong, paired with the decaying flesh you’d picked up from outside the bungalow. And to fuel the disgusting stench, your nose could also pick up the faint scent of bleach. Your face contorted. Bleach?
The bile rose, threatening to spill out of your throat. You swallowed it down. Bitter. You were really about to throw up. Everything inside was dark. But thanks to the light in the hallway, you could make out the debris scattered across the floors. Cigarette boxes, open and sealed, were present among most of the junk. Other than that, empty beer bottles and discarded laundry could be seen. From the ceiling, large decorations hung. Decorations or more clothing, you couldn’t tell. The scent of bleach engulfed your lungs.
Hesitantly, you reached for the lights.
Your phone fell to the floor with a thud. Your fingers curled into your palm. A tremble rippled through you. You couldn’t move.
They weren’t decorations at all.
A step.
Nor were they more ugly clothing.
Your hand met skin. Cold, lifeless skin.
There, from the ceiling, hung a ginger-haired woman, ghastly and pale.
A corpse.
Caroline.
Thunder drummed through the clouds. A flash illuminated behind you. But you were too still to be afraid. Your body shivered, even under the cloak of the warmest, fuzziest blanket Caleb owned. Your numb hands clutched a mug of hot cocoa. Its bittersweet aroma rose from the cup, entering your nostrils. But your mouth didn’t water at the scent. You only sat still, as lifeless as a corpse, as the wide-screen television played on, broadcasting the news of Caroline’s death.
Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped around you from behind. “Drink up, pip. It’s going to get cold.”
He was right. The fingers curled around the mug only felt cold—a sign of the drink’s dissipating warmth. But how could you eat? Your teeth had tasted flesh not long ago.
The figure behind you sighed. “I shouldn’t have sent you there.”
“I went too late.” You curled against yourself. “If I had been faster, I—”
“She’s been dead ever since that day at the garden. It was inevitable. We didn’t know.”
Your body slumped in his embrace, threatening to give in.
“She was my patient. I’m still responsible.”
“I’m so stupid.” Caleb’s arms left your torso, leaving you cold once more. A part of you ached to reach out, to grab him and bury yourself into him and just—disappear. Vanish from existence. It was what you deserved. What you’d brought upon yourself. “I shouldn’t have sent you on a job. I ruined your vacation.”
“Caleb, I can’t.” You buried your face in your palms. “We were having fun. We were laughing, joking around, all while she…” You couldn’t finish the sentence. You didn’t have to. Caleb empathised, nonetheless.
Coming to your side, he gently pried the mug from your hands and cradled your face. “Let me warm it up for you.” He switched off the television and returned to the kitchen.
You curled up on the couch. This wasn’t meant to happen. Someone wasn’t supposed to die. Unrelated to your mission or not, experiencing a death head-on was not part of your predictions. This was supposed to be executed flawlessly. You were supposed to be in charge.
Nonetheless, you felt more of the control slipping from between your fingers with each passing second. You were losing. Devastatingly. You’d prepared for various outcomes—losing because of yourself, losing because of him, but you’d completely forgotten to consider that you could lose to independent external factors as well.
In short, you thought you were invincible.
You thought none grasped the situation better than yourself.
But alas, it was indeed the devil himself who’d intervened in your fate. The opening for a temporary escape from him was timed too perfectly. It was too good to be true.
And it wasn’t. What you’d thought would be a normal, perhaps exhausting, session with a new patient, morphed into a traumatic, arduous twist of fate that would throw you entirely off course, flicking you so far from your path that crawling back was rendered both physically and mentally impossible. How could this have happened? You just lost twice in a row. Fate had abandoned you, just how it had abandoned Anne.
You gritted your teeth.
None of this was fair. Caroline shouldn’t have had to die. Nobody deserved death. Images of her intimidating visage flashed across your mind. Just a few days ago, you heard her speak. Just a few days ago, she was blinking, moving, talking, eating, breathing. And now, she was off to God-knows-where. Perhaps her body was stored in some cold machine, or she was placed in a stretcher as the morgue worked with her body. In a blink, the life was sucked out of her. And she was rendered nothing.
You eyed your arm. Everything felt so surreal. What if this was all just a dream? An alternate reality, or a sick nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. You shut your eyes and attempted to drift off into another land. It was too taxing to process this overload. It was better just to sleep it off, or just disassociate so you didn’t have to make peace with the truth.
You pressed your lips into a thin line. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get a moment of shut-eye. The sight of the corpse flashed before your eyes. A noose was tied around Caroline’s neck as she hung from the ceiling fan; dead, lifeless, gone. So close yet so out of your reach. Her once-vibrant ginger locks were tainted a sickly orange. Her once-intimidating eyes were sealed eternally shut. The lips she’d spoken with that day were dry, blue. Blood had stopped circulating inside them. Her heart had stopped beating long ago. You knew you couldn’t have saved her even if you’d tried.
Counterfactual thinking. You sighed. At this point, you really were turning into the patient.
You wrapped the blanket tighter around yourself, paying no mind to the way its soft edges cut into your skin. Countless what-ifs pried into your brain. You covered your ears with both hands, attempting to shut it off. If only your brain could shut up.
A familiar pang resonated in your temples. Your head began to throb violently—just as it had before you went up the stairs of Caroline’s bungalow. Those thoughts weren’t as evil as you’d made them up to be. If only you hadn’t looked. If only you’d stopped and messaged Caleb instead. Then, you wouldn’t have to be involved in such a complex scandal. Paired with the recent discovery—your recent loss—the whole situation, you were afraid, was going to render you completely mentally senile. Just like Anne.
Anne. The moment you’d gazed upon her—all shrivelled up and curled into a ball at the side of the black couch you’d owned in your previous office—you felt a sense of sympathy you’d never felt before. Something about her resonated with you. Her whimpering eyes, her clammy hands, her knitted brows, or the dimming fire that had blued years ago crackling in her eyes. You didn’t know which of those had piqued your curiosity. Something about that woman, so gorgeously broken, sparked something within you.
Perhaps, it was her eyes. Those dread-filled eyes that bore into yours. The spark that ignited when she saw you. The hope she’d regained upon your visage. Like she’d been starved of a true friend for millennia, and you were the one meant to be the ailment to her wounds. She’d looked at you like a newborn gazing upon its mother—its protector, saviour from the cruelty of the world. She looked at you with… hope. And in your heart, you swore to protect her. To be the one to show her the beauties of life, and to guide her onto a path of bliss and tranquility so she could return to the life she once had.
And what did you do?
You failed her.
The dread that tingled your limbs that day was the same one that numbed it now. That horrid purple, fanged beast. When the detective knocked on your office door in a delirious state, and had brought to you the news of Anne’s attempt, you couldn’t move. The air lumped in your trachea, refusing to release, as if your body itself had decided you were unworthy of life, and your fingers went cold. You almost fell to your knees, unable to rush to Anne’s side immediately. She was not dead yet. She was alive, blinking, here. And that only made it worse—how would you face her? You couldn’t bear to see the look in her eyes deform from hope to animosity as she looked at you one last time. You couldn’t let the one who abandoned her be the last person she saw, felt, and breathed.
So, you didn’t go.
Shortly after, a messenger knocked on your door. His knocks were calm, unhurried, as if the weight of everything had already settled into his heart. He brought the news, low and steady, that Anne Lotte had breathed her last.
The first tear fell from your eye. You’d cried for her before, and you would do it again. The first time, you wept silently because she couldn’t. And the next time, you wept out of your own free will. Because nobody was there to mourn her death.
Anne had an empty funeral. Abandoned by all, loved by none.
Caroline’s death was only a reminder of your past shortcomings, a visceral punch to the gut, the reality that life and death were beyond your control, and that even you couldn’t shoo the poison away from eating at your patient’s brain.
You couldn’t even save yourself.
You failed as a psychotherapist, as a human, as an organism.
A type of survivor’s guilt. You bit your bottom lip, tearing at the dry skin coating it. The migraines worsened. Drowning in your thoughts, you failed to process the shift in weight beside you as another figure seated himself on the couch.
“I re-heated the cocoa. Come. You have to eat.” With unnerving gentleness, Caleb lifted your body off the couch and brought the mug to your lips. Defeated, you gently sipped. You winced as the hot liquid seared your tongue. “Too hot?” he cooed before setting it down on the glass coffee table. Even then, his arms never left you. Cautiously, as if to not scare you away, he positioned you on his lap and began to run soft circles on your back. You melted into his touch. As much as you hated to admit, he knew exactly what to do to help you feel at ease and lift your mood just enough.
You rested your chin on his shoulder, and suddenly, the world reverted 15 years back. A young girl sat atop a boy’s lap, whimpering, sniffling as she rubbed her tears and snot onto the boy’s shirt. But he didn’t seem to mind. He only hummed a soothing tune and cradled her head tenderly. “They said the cat deserved to die,” the girl choked a sob, “Tell me it didn’t, Caleb, tell me!”
A small smile graced your lips at the memory. Back then, and even now, only to him could you lift the dam and let your tears flow free. Only in his embrace could you breathe once more, and only here did you truly feel at home.
If you’d lost your memories, you’d just want to stay here forever. By his side. In his arms.
But you couldn’t forget. A part of you wished you could.
Rain pattered against the windows—its sound being the only one besides your breaths intertwined with his. His fingers found their way to your wrist, pressing down gently on your pulse point and watching as the fragile vein beat. A content sigh passed his lips. But something about it irked you. How could he be so calm when the colleague he’d shown so much care for yesterday night wound up dead? You suppressed your anger. Blowing up on him wouldn’t fix anything. In fact, you’d only end up pushing away the ones who cared for you. You knew you couldn’t cope without him.
A warm, smooth object pressed against your lips. The scent of chocolate filled your senses, and for the first time, your mouth watered. Your stomach growled in response, as if it had awoken from a long slumber—empty and unfulfilled.
"Drink up," Caleb hummed. "And then, I'll tuck you in."
You opened your mouth and slowly sipped the hot cocoa. The warm, fudgy liquid enveloped your tongue. Saccharine bursts of flavour erupted in your mouth. Steadily, his hands guided you to slurp up the entire mug, granting you occasional breaks to collect yourself in between. His demeanour was gentle, unhurried.
The butterflies in your stomach stirred from their dormancy, flitting about once more. It was an odd sensation—the serenity of butterflies mingled with the bitterness of guilt, resentment, and anger. A combination never meant to exist.
The next thunderclap sent a jolt of pain through your skull. You gripped your head and winced. Taking note of your discomfort, Caleb pressed his fingers against your aching temples.
"You should really get some rest."
"I tried. I can't sleep."
"I'll get you a sleeping pill."
Your brows furrowed. How could you trust him with medicine after that? Nonetheless, he had a point—if you didn’t sleep now, the weight of your burden would end up crushing you into smithereens. Sighing, you nodded.
Caleb disappeared into the darkness before returning with a bottle of medicine. He scurried over to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water and was back at your side shortly after. You plucked the bottle from his hands and inspected the label. Ibuprofen. You eyed him warily.
"Your head’s killing you, right?"
"And the sleep medicine?"
He opened his palm to reveal a relatively large pill. You cocked an eyebrow. Since when were sleeping pills that large? Maybe it was a stronger dosage.
You swallowed the ibuprofen before turning to the pill resting in his palm. Your eyes narrowed. Carefully, as if handling a radioactive sample, you pinched the pill between your fingers and brought it to your nose. You sniffed. A strong medicinal scent.
This wasn’t a sleeping pill.
A sharp breath. Your shoulders slumped. Suddenly relaxed, you calmly returned the pill to Caleb’s hand. He stared at you with half-lidded eyes.
"A predetermined provocation. You knew I’d catch on." An empty smile graced your lips. A breathless laugh followed. "You know I know a lot about medicine. This was no attempt to drug me." Your sharp glare met his violet hues. "You deliberately planned this."
Caleb curled his fist and placed the pill on the glass table alongside the water. "I was tired," he mused, "of dancing along as we played this stupid game."
"Oh," you lifted your head and smirked. "No, you were enjoying every part of this. Playing with me, driving me to the edge."
"I had to." His fists curled. "You were being a brat. You thought I wouldn’t catch on, right? But your relaxed composure gave it away."
Crossing your arms, you let out a huff. "I—"
Before you could finish, Caleb pressed on. "You were conspiring against me. Treating me like some damn lab experiment. Is that all I am to you? A deranged patient in need of saving? Another victim of the fleet?" He looked up at you, genuine hurt lacing his eyes. You gulped.
"You were studying that case all day in my bedroom while I was away, you—"
"You spied on me," you retorted. "Twice. First, with my personal information, and again, with your damn cameras!"
Caleb’s teeth sank into the plush of his bottom lip.
With eyes blazing with unrestrained emotion, you went on. "Last time, you actually drugged me. Kept me captive for three days. Threatened me. Terrified me out of my mind! And you try to insist you're above a deranged patient? You’re delusional and in need of help. I wanted to help you. I wanted to bring you back."
If Caleb had ears, they’d be lying flat against his head right now.
Your heart withered with guilt. You knew you shouldn’t have called him a deranged patient. But even then, his reaction wasn’t a response to that insult—it was something deeper. It emerged from the darkest recesses of his mind, the parts even you could never access.
Had you gone too far?
"Was it," his lips trembled, "was it all a lie? What you said in the car? That you were willing to make peace with the new versions of ourselves?"
"You know that to be a lie very well."
"You’re wrong." He lifted himself onto his feet. "I trusted you. I trusted in us."
"There was no us!" You lashed out, overwhelmed by the sheer force of emotions that inevitably laced your tone. "I’ve been alone ever since you left me—us—for the DAA! Ever since you blew yourself up with Grandma!"
You watched as Caleb clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms. You’d struck a nerve. It was enough. You got the reaction you wanted, but you couldn’t stop. Not when he was finally listening to you, looking at you—truly looking. For the first time in years, you could tell him how you felt.
And so, the words kept tumbling out of your mouth like an unstoppable avalanche—cold, all-consuming, and doomed to self-annihilate.
"I didn’t talk to anyone. For years after you left, I shut myself off. I found solace in my patients’ despair because you were never there!"
You looked up. His eyes were glued to his feet, his clenched fists trembling. Darkness overcast his face. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, much less how he felt. You searched his face for a sign—anything. Anger, resentment, agony, indifference, tears, or a smile. But you found nothing. It was all hidden away behind that invisible veil. Another mask.
You gritted your teeth. It only fuelled your rage further. At that moment, you wished you could tear open his skull and peer inside his mind.
"And you know what? I was such a fool. When I saw you again, I was willing to forgive your every flaw! I was willing to forget and move on with you. But guess what? The man I was madly in love with since high school had become so intoxicated by his newfound power and authority," you spat the last words with venom, "that he’d forgotten of my existence entirely! And still, I trusted you nonetheless! I thought it was my shortcomings when you were the insane one!"
"You…" Caleb lifted his head. The darkness dissipated from his face, only to be replaced with a flicker of hope. "You loved me?"
You slapped your palm against your face and threw yourself onto the couch, oblivious to how painfully you'd bumped your leg. You couldn’t believe you’d said that. Stupid, stupid.
"Why else would I be so obsessed with bringing you back?"
In a flash, Caleb was on his knees before you, bringing your palms together and pressing them against his chest. His heart pounded with fervour. His eyes gleamed with something raw, something terrifyingly close to unraveling. This was no act.
"Caleb…" You spoke his name with such softness, he gulped. "What are you doing? Get up—"
"You loved me." His grip tightened. "Do you still feel that way? Do we have a chance?"
The loudest bolt of lightning ripped through the stormy clouds. You turned your gaze to the tempest outside.
"I don’t think so, Caleb."
"I’ll make this right. Let’s live together."
"Caleb…"
"I’ll return your position as a criminologist. You can work under the fleet. You’ll have a better salary and a better working environment. And if you don’t want that, I’ll move the whole clinic here."
"Ca—"
"You like lively atmospheres, right? We’ll decorate this house. Or we can move to a new one. It’ll have the largest windows and the warmest winds. I’ll build you a garden full of your most treasured flowers, in a place far away where nobody will find us."
You tensed. A tremor rippled through you, but Caleb didn’t seem to notice. And if he did, he didn’t care. His eyes gleamed with desperation, restraint, and a love-fuelled mania that terrified you. Yearning. Could a mere emotion become so haunting? So intense?
"Let’s rebuild our life. We can be married. Have a bunch of kids, or not. If it’s what you want, we can take it slow. One step at a time. Just…" He nuzzled both your hands, his eyes lingering on the bracelet. "Just be by my side. You’ll never have to be alone again."
"Caleb."
You affirmed firmly, making him halt mid-sentence. His brows furrowed noticeably. A flicker of anger ignited in his eyes.
"You’ve gone too far. I can’t be with you."
You retracted your hands. The frown deepened on his lips as the absence of your warmth settled in. Gone was the adoration. Only wrath remained where it once was. He acted as if you’d stabbed him in the back, as if you’d plucked the feathers from his bionic wings and crushed them before his eyes. Faster than he’d knelt by your side, Caleb sprang to his feet and caged you within the couch. A familiar scenario. Your mind raced.
"You just don’t understand, do you?"
You averted your eyes. He forced your head parallel to his with a firm grip, ensuring your gaze remained locked onto his. You squirmed under the inferno alight within them. Whatever swirled inside was darker, crueler, and far more monstrous than anything you’d faced in the past few days. It was far more ruthless than what had lurked the last time you found yourself pinned to the couch. Honestly, it truly terrified you. Even in Harrison’s frantic eyes, you hadn’t spotted such ferocity.
"I’ve given up my life, my heart, and a limb for your sake. You breathe today because I sacrificed my breaths in your stead."
You thrashed against him, trying to pry your face from his grasp, but nothing worked. He loomed over you with monstrous strength.
"What? Weren’t you wondering what happened after the explosion? I’ll tell you, alright? If you give me something of yours."
Mustering all the strength you could, you barely managed to knock the behemoth of a man off you. As if regaining his self-control, Caleb eyed his hands before turning to you. The mania in his gaze dissipated, leaving only that desperate yearning.
But it was too late. The damage had been done.
"Pip—"
"I’m leaving Skyhaven." You picked yourself up and stormed off into your—well, his room. "Try to stop me, and I’ll show you hell."
And with that, you slammed the door shut.
That night, while Caleb had (not so) blissfully stashed himself away in his temporary room, you gathered your things and silently fled the estate.
Before walking out the front door, you spared one last glance at the empty house. You eyed the barren shelves, devoid of colour or antiques, the dim lights that were rarely granted the opportunity to welcome any host, and the uninspiring grey paint coating his solid walls.
Perhaps these walls were meant to imprison him, not you. Beyond any shadow of a doubt, Caleb had suffered—immensely. But you couldn’t let him drag you into the sizzling depths with him. He may have abandoned joy, but you would not. You would return to Linkon, maybe flee to another city nearby, and leave your past behind in pursuit of a joyous future—a future where, this time, you would be in control, not your listless feelings from decades ago.
You yearned to take another look, to glimpse his slumbering, pained face one more time before departing. But a saying from a precious individual circled in your mind: Don’t look back at me. If you do, it’ll be more difficult to leave.
Or, in other words, do not look back before leaving. If you do, you will be bound to them eternally—heart and soul. That was what he meant back then, wasn’t it?
With a relieved smile, you stepped out the door and into a new beginning.
“Goodbye, Caleb,” you murmured under your breath. “I love you.”
But in actions, I always look back.
There were only a few trains active at night. As a result, the station was relatively quiet, save for the occasional sweep sweep of the cleaning lady’s brush or the robotic echo of the AI announcing the next rides. The aged cleaning lady eyed you suspiciously. Perhaps you were suspicious—a woman sitting all by herself at a station at eleven at night, with barely any luggage to accompany her. You clearly weren’t mourning or panicked, so it likely wasn’t an emergency you had to return to.
Even then, the way her gaze kept returning to you was… odd.
Ding!
You fished through your pockets and retrieved your phone. Had Caleb caught wind of your absence? No. Odd. It wasn’t Caleb.
It was Rhys.
You quickly opened his chat and skimmed through his messages. A sinking feeling settled in your gut.
"Miss," he hastily followed, "you’re on the news."
You stilled. Why would you be on the news? Surely, a woman alone at a train station at night wasn’t such a revolutionary event that it had lured in the mass media?
"?" you typed back. "I’m famous now?"
"It’s no joke. Look."
A video file popped up. The thumbnail appeared to be Rhys’ TV. You could spot a snippet of his wife from one of the corners.
The throbbing ache in your head returned, begging you not to click on the file. Alas, your curiosity took hold of you, and your fingers hovered above the play button.
Hesitantly, it met the screen.
The woman announcing the news spoke your name. You immediately lowered the volume.
Your name. Your full name. Something was wrong.
"A suspect has been found." She said your name again. "Skyhaven authorities are actively searching for the suspect in connection with Caroline Mayday’s death. According to local reports, the individual was seen near the estate a day prior to the incident."
You slapped your clammy palm onto your mouth to silence the gasp that was about to escape your lips. The only person you had met that day was Rhys. Surely, there had been some sort of mistake. Surely, you hadn’t murdered a woman whose address you weren’t even aware of.
"Evidence, including fingerprint analysis and multiple witness testimonies, has linked the suspect to the scene."
Testimonies? Witnesses? Had people perceived a ghost? How could they have witnessed a woman who wasn’t even there?
Your hand stilled. Suddenly, the thoughts in your brain quieted, leaving nothing but unnerving, unmoving silence. The gears turned in your head. And then, it all made sense.
Caleb. Utilising his authority.
That bastard.
"A search warrant has been issued, and officials confirm that she will soon be taken in for questioning before the court of law."
Shit.
Shit.
You turned off the video and returned to the chat. Rhys had sent another message.
"Miss, you have to leave. I’ll get you tickets to Linkon."
"No need," you typed back. "I’m at the station. I was just about to leave anyway."
After a brief pause, you asked, "Rhys, do you believe I’m guilty?"
For a moment, he didn’t reply, leaving you on seen. Your body stiffened. If he didn’t believe you…
"No. We were at the café right about the time the witnesses claimed to have spotted you. And even if you weren’t, well, how do I put this nicely? Miss, you don’t have the balls."
Despite his half-insult, you couldn’t help but smile. At the very least, there was somebody who trusted you.
"I know it was that colonel’s doing. He isn’t to be trusted. Please, for your sake, never get involved with him ever again."
"I won’t."
And this time, you were being honest. You couldn’t return to him. Not after this.
"Stay safe, Rhys. If I’m not caught and executed, I promise you, we will meet again."
The train rolled into the station. Its wheels hissed against the cold metal rails.
You had to leave, now.
A handful of people lined up against the entrance. Some of them had their faces glued to their phones. Could they be watching the news? You hoped not. It was safer to go last.
You fished through your luggage and pulled out a cap you happened to bring along, placing it low on your head, shielding half your face from the gazes of passers-by.
Donning the calmest demeanour you could muster, you stepped into the train’s carriage and seated yourself far away from all. Sort of counterintuitive, now that you thought about it. Attempting to appear normal whilst actively isolating yourself from the crowd like a child who had shoplifted a candy bar. It made little sense. But how could you think logically when danger was quite literally breathing down your neck each second? Half of Skyhaven’s forces were after you, and you were practically tethered to a determined fate.
With a slow rattle and a monotonous announcement, the train began to move.
Your eyes trailed to the bracelet clasped around your wrist. Your promise to Caleb. But what did that matter now? It was merely a chain. A bad-luck charm, even. Ever since you had put it on, misfortunes followed close behind. You kept experiencing losses ceaselessly.
You contemplated tossing it away, but it would be such a waste of a valuable item.
You peered from below the cap’s shade to eye the modern tablet displaying the train’s destinations. The last stop wasn’t Linkon. It was a town two cities apart—Nimbura. The land of storms and tempests. Perhaps the storm that had been looming over Skyhaven for the past few days originated from there.
Nonetheless, Nimbura was a town of little population. Due to the never-ending downpour, most citizens had moved to greater cities. It was the perfect place for an escape. You could sell your bracelet to a local broker for a small fortune. You reckoned it would get you enough to kickstart your new life there. Perhaps open another clinic or begin to achieve the dreams you had long since abandoned.
This time, you would live your new life the way you wanted to.
With Caleb manipulating the press from behind the scenes, any chance of achieving justice and clearing your name was lost to the wind. Though a cowardly move, fleeing was your only choice.
You shut your eyes. Oh, Caroline. If only she knew how her death had been exploited by her higher-ups for such selfish purposes.
Of course, starting anew was easier said than done. You still had to fetch yourself a new identity, a house, and somehow evade the authorities for the rest of your life. It was fun to dream, but you knew you had to embrace reality soon.
Or else, you would be caught in the dumbest way.
At the very least, you could put up one hell of a fight before being whisked away in shackles. Enjoy your last remaining days of freedom before he caught up.
Your breath hitched. Caleb wouldn’t give up, would he? He’d comb through each city and town, overturning even the smallest villages in search of you.
You couldn’t picture what drastic measures he’d take.
Perhaps he’d even drain the oceans and pluck you from the seabed if you decided to live freely as a sea turtle.
Wherever you were, he would find you.
Some things were only possible in the presence of power. No matter how intelligent you were, your helplessness was undeniable. You bore not even a sliver of authority and thus were incapable of turning the tide against him. You could run from a man, but you couldn’t escape a whole fleet of deranged, cybernetic militants.
You chuckled at the inevitability of your fate. In time, he would find you. The government wouldn’t protect you. Not when you were a wanted criminal on the loose. If anything, they would hand you over—to him—on a silver platter. Nobody wanted to make an enemy of the farspace fleet. They were a ruthless bunch. What would one insignificant sacrifice mean when it had been made for the greater good? For eternal peace?
Just like Anne, the world had abandoned you as well.
And this time, you truly had no home to return to.
An unfamiliar feeling coiled in your chest—a yearning for home. A yearning to sit across the white couch of your clinic, listing away your patient’s traits on a clipboard as a frigid wind drifted in from the window. A coveting for the warmth of your bed, the bitterness of the coffee you brewed each morning, and the intimacy of your workspace.
This was all a mistake. You should never have embarked on this journey in the first place.
So much for bringing someone back. Someone who had lost their heart long ago.
If only you hadn’t let your emotions blind you. If only you had moved on from him.
You squeezed your eyes shut. A single tear slipped down your cheek. This was no place to cry. What you should have been focusing on was a plan—a means of saving yourself. You barely had any money. Would it even be enough to buy you transport to the nearest broker?
You didn’t have any weapons on you either. Nothing to defend yourself with. Just you, yourself, and a lightweight bag with nothing valuable inside.
You should have stolen a few bucks from Caleb. His position surely paid well, so what would a hundred dollars mean to him? You really should have. And the worst part was that you knew he would have handed it all to you without a second thought. Something churned in your chest.
"I don’t know what to be when I grow up, Caleb. What should I do?"
You kicked your feet on the bed, lying on your back as you watched Caleb’s attentive gaze remain glued to his homework.
"Why are you askin’ me?" A young voice replied. "It’ll come to ya, pip-squeak. You’re only ten."
"But," you pushed yourself off the bed and nudged his shoulder, "the teacher asked us to write an essay on our dream careers. Help me, please? You’re really smart!"
"Why worry about that? I’m here, aren’t I? I’m smart enough for us both."
"Really?" You grinned stupidly. "That means your money is my money?"
He reached over without averting his eyes from the textbook to flick your forehead softly. You whined in response.
"Hasn’t it always been like that? But still. You’re good with people, right?"
You hummed. "I don’t have many friends other than you."
"But you understand people."
You nodded.
"Then why don’t you become a psychologist?"
"A… what?"
He sighed. "Never mind. You’re too young to think about that." And with that, he ruffled your hair and sent you off.
Little did he know you would cling to that word for the rest of your life.
The train whirred along the tracks, speeding readily through the various stations. One by one, the passengers departed, until you and an old man were the only ones remaining.
Before long, the train passed by Linkon. You watched with a solemn gaze as the doors slid shut. A part of you imagined yourself stepping out—happy, grinning from ear to ear, returning home. This cap wouldn’t be on your head, and your face would be devoid of worries. You would be free. On your way to a new life in the absence of Caleb. Into a new normalcy—a reality you could embrace this time.
You shut your eyes and rested your head against the window. Two fresh tears slipped past your lashes. Home. The word called to you from amidst the darkness. You envisioned two gentle arms cradling your form. The ghosts in your bed would welcome you home. They’d open their arms and tuck you in.
Just yesterday, the ‘ghost’ would have been none other than Caleb. But now, you wanted nothing to do with him.
Now, they had become two fleeting, ghastly apparitions—echoes of the past, lingering somewhere in your psyche.
The flesh may forget the sting of steel, but our minds will know.
You didn’t recall where you had heard that line. Perhaps it was a lyric from a melodious choir, or maybe a fragment of dialogue from a show you once treasured. You couldn’t recall the exact words either. At first, you had only nodded at its proclamation. It was right. There was nothing to refute.
As the new you emerged from the epicentre of a vicious battle, wounded by the likes of steel, its choir rang within your heart.
The mind never forgets. It is a being of its own. A tranquil entity, a lifeless organism so equally abundant with life. It may not respire, but it bears the authority to decide whether you do so.
And sometimes, it chooses for you not to be able to breathe.
Caleb would never vanish. He might perish while executing his unethical duties, or he might fade from your life altogether. He might even heal and reform. But that wounded man lived in a hollow within your heart, a cavity carved out with a knife—an unhealing wound, a permanent abyss.
A dark, bottomless pit you could never truly move on from.
No matter how achingly you worked to normalise his absence, his ghost would linger.
And so would the ghost of your former self.
For that wounded man didn’t just win,
He devoured you. He plucked your ribcage open and fused with your heart.
The burden of exhaustion weighed on your bones, dragging your body down against the train’s plastic seat. Your mind kept drifting home—to the warm lighting of your kitchen, the abomination stashed away under your bed, the mess coating your desk that you never quite found time to clean up. Their images flashed before your eyes, like a boat drifting back to the seas it had departed from, pushed there by a storm.
Now, it was up to you to decide what home meant.
You would make sure that this time, home wouldn’t be a place that breathed Caleb’s name.
“Nimbura. Doors will open from the right.”
You hauled your luggage alongside you as you exited with the old man. From beneath his drooping eyebrows, he shot you a wary glance before inching forward. A flimsy brown cane supported his weight as he walked. You hoped you would never again encounter a situation where you’d need to rely on someone else—not until you reached seventy, at least.
A cool gust of wind sent flyers fluttering through the air before your face. You shivered, hugging yourself a little tighter. An earthy scent lingered—damp soil, the kind you could always smell before an impending downpour.
Of course, the town hadn’t bought its name with cash.
It bought it with its perpetual rain.
“Excuse me,” you called out to the old man. “Do you know where the nearest broker’s is?”
“They’re all closed by now,” he croaked. “Get some sleep, girl. Go tomorrow.”
You let out an audible sigh before returning to your pocket to count your cash. Just enough for a night’s stay, but beyond that? You weren’t so sure.
To your surprise, the man turned back. “Need a place to stay, child?”
You eyed the money on your palm before returning to his face. He appeared wise. From the way his brows were furrowed, you could tell he had seen much in his long life. A part of you secretly loathed these types of people. Those who had seen it all were especially hard to deceive. They could spot any hint of trickery, no matter how ethical, from a mile away.
Your gut told you he probably knew you were on the run.
You needed a place to stay, but your instincts flared up. You didn’t know him. Anything could happen to you in a town this small, and it would go unreported for the most part. This was a matter of survival. Although your expertise insisted this man was no threat, your wariness begged to differ. So, with a polite smile, you turned down his offer.
Defeated, the man showed you the way to the nearest inn.
You followed his directions only to end up at a run-down inn around the corner. Its sign hung loosely, threatening to fall at any second. But clearly, the owner hadn’t cared enough to fix it. On top of that, the place stank. It reeked of alcohol, vomit, and cigars. You’d rather sleep out on the streets than stay here.
Thunder flashed in the sky behind you. You jumped.
Okay, maybe sleeping under a storm’s embrace wasn’t the best idea.
You were on the run, after all. Now wasn’t the time to be picky.
A short, blonde-haired woman sat on the other side of the counter, chewing gum as she scrolled mindlessly through her phone. The electric bell above the door chimed as you pushed it open. In a few swift movements, she spat out her gum and shoved the phone into the cavity under her desk.
“Hello, how may I help you?” She flashed the brightest grin she could muster.
She appeared young. Most likely still in high school. Your gaze travelled to the photo frame behind her—a clean picture of a family with a mix of blondes and brunettes. So, her parents owned the place, huh? A lucky child with a stable future. You envied her.
“How much for one night?”
“Oh, uhm—” She fished through something under her desk. You could hear the faint crumple of paper as she moved. That agility… was she in hunter’s school?
She named the price. You reopened your wallet and counted the bills. Just enough for one night, plus transportation.
“Is the food free?”
“No, ma’am. Only water.”
A deflated sigh passed your lips. You hadn’t eaten dinner, and you were practically starving. If you wasted money on food now, you doubted you’d make it through tomorrow.
Oh, well. A day’s fast wouldn’t kill you.
“All right. Can I have a room?” You smiled, placing the cash on the desk.
She opened her register and quickly handed you the change before fetching a pair of keys from the shelves behind her. Tossing you the keys, she showed you to your room. Despite her persistent offers, you ended up carrying your bags yourself.
Your room was relatively cleaner than expected. Initially, you’d envisioned a room as run-down as the front of the inn, with broken beds and a toilet that didn’t flush. Of course, the room was nothing like the average hotel rooms you could rent in Linkon, but it would do.
At least you discovered where most of the inn’s funds went.
You fetched one of the sealed bottles of water from the desk and buried yourself in bed. Having finally achieved a moment of respite, you whipped out your phone and began scrolling through your messages.
Oddly enough, there were no texts from Caleb. He was offline on all his socials.
Perhaps he hadn’t caught wind of your absence yet? That would suggest the idea of framing you for murder was something he had planned beforehand. Possibly after the argument.
You were about to head to bed when suddenly, your phone lit up with a notification.
You guessed it was Rhys again before even looking at the screen. He was the only one you’d been texting (or, more accurately, who’d been texting you) over the past few days.
If he was texting you, it could only mean trouble.
With numb fingers, you opened his chat.
“Miss, run.”
“You’re in Nimbura, right? They know your location.”
You froze as he kept bombarding you with short, panicked, back-to-back messages.
“He discovered our relationship. My wife’s dealing with the fleet.”
“They’re at our door.”
“Please, run.”
“Forget about us. Leave Nimbura. Immediately.”
“The police know where you are.”
The adrenaline was so deeply coded into your DNA that you’d gotten used to it by now. Only a deafening numbness lingered where anxiety once resided.
But, more importantly, how did he know where you were?
Your eyes trailed to the bracelet. The pendant gleamed under the light.
Now that you thought about it, the pendant’s size was oddly convenient, was it not?
And it was quite a bit heavier than you had expected.
Could it be…?
Caleb had revealed his final card. The ace up his sleeve.
Blood drained from your face. You paled.
A tracker.
You jolted up to the sound of police sirens slicing through the air. They were already here.
In a hurry, you snatched the bag you hadn’t yet opened and rushed to the door. Your other hand fidgeted with the bracelet coiled around your wrist. You hissed. Why were these things so hard to unclasp with one hand?
Pushing through your body’s sheer exhaustion and numbness, you bolted down the stairs, tripping over some of the steps. A knock resounded at the inn’s front gate.
“Skyhaven authorities. Open up.”
The perplexed blonde girl eyed you awkwardly. Tearing the bracelet forcefully off your wrist, you tossed the jewellery to her and muttered an apology.
“Gotta run. Take this as an apology.”
And with that, you stormed out the back door. Rain poured from above, thumping against your bare head relentlessly. No time to equip an umbrella. Just run.
With trembling legs, you skidded across the empty alleyways. Multiple pairs of footsteps slapped against the damp pavement close by. They were closing in. Fast. You had nowhere to go.
But perhaps you could make it to the train station before it closed. There was one last train heading to Linkon soon. If you could make it, maybe you could throw them off your trail for a while?
You bit your lip. You weren’t so sure. Chances were the authorities had already surrounded Linkon—your home and clinic were under their jurisdiction.
But that was a problem for future you. Right now, you had to run.
Mustering up all your strength, you pushed yourself forward, darting through the desolate streets. The commanding voices of the officers pierced through the rain, declaring how they would use force, how resisting would only worsen your case. You paid no mind to their warnings. Only the worst would happen if you were arrested—you’d be thrown into jail, executed by the fleet, or sent straight into Caleb’s arms. And he would definitely rather skin himself bit by bit than let you go once more.
How much worse could it get?
The walls of the world seemed to shrink in on you, confining you within Nimbura’s insignificantly sized territory. All sounds blurred together, contorting into one singular noise that thudded violently against your eardrums—the pulse of your own quickening heartbeat. The heart that once beat in love for a man now pounded in terror of the very same one. You no longer flinched at the bolts of lightning, no longer cared for the heavy droplets of rain smashing through your skull.
At that moment, you were reduced to a cowardly mess of a woman who knew only how to run. She ran from her life, her job, her stability, her friends, her problems, her mistakes. And now, that woman realised she had spent her entire existence fleeing. She buried her troubles in the desolation of her patients, abandoned the life that had given her everything, and flung herself into the arms of a stranger. A stranger who, due to her naïveté, received her love as she foolishly gave herself away.
Hot tears streamed down your cheeks. Or was it rain? You didn’t know. Didn’t care. And for the first time, you let the tears fall freely. You sobbed—your face contorted in despair. Your lips curled into an unsightly frown, your brows knitted dramatically. Vision blurred. Your pace faltered.
Your legs begged for respite. To stop, to collapse onto the wet asphalt, to simply wail to your heart’s content. But the footsteps behind you suddenly grew louder. Your brief moment of weakness had allowed them to close in. You were screwed.
Forcing yourself forward, you pushed through the pain. Your shoes stretched against your feet, groaning under the pressure. The soles were likely torn by now—perhaps even left behind a few metres ago. You didn’t know. There was no time to stop and check.
Then, through the curtain of rain, the silhouette of a tall stranger emerged. He walked parallel to you, treading calmly beneath the shelter of a large, black umbrella. Your heart lurched. You couldn’t stop now. You were bound to collide.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you braced for impact.
You crashed into a solid chest and, from the sheer force, went stumbling back. Before you could hit the ground, a firm hand seized your waist, steadying you.
“I’m sorry,” you gasped, lifting your head to catch a glimpse of his face. “I—”
Your body froze. As if your entire being had shut down, every gear in your mind clogged at once. The pitter-patter of rain and the approaching footsteps of the police faded, drowned by the roaring static in your head.
That long, black uniform. Those leather gloves. That sleek cap.
And, most importantly, those innocent violet hues scrutinising your face.
For a long while, there was only silence.
You parted your lips, but no words came. Finally, you choked out, “How—”
A chuckle. One you recognised all too well.
“Are you hurt?” A familiar voice cooed.
Caleb.
You turned on your heels and bolted in the opposite direction.
A flight of uniformed personnel obstructed your path, caging you in against Caleb’s form. In tiny, panicked steps, you inched backwards.
The leader announced your name. “You are under arrest on suspicion of the murder of Sergeant Caroline Mayday. You—”
“I’ll take it from here,” the figure behind you commanded firmly. “I’ll escort our criminal personally.”
Hesitantly, the officer backed away with a curt tilt of his head, signalling for his troop to stand down. You watched helplessly as they retreated.
A part of you wanted to reach out. To beg them to throw you into jail instead. An axe to your neck would be far kinder.
But no. They tossed you right into the vicious, merciless jaws of the beast, leaving you to a fate you couldn’t determine.
The world stilled. The patter of rain against the road was all you could hear, aside from his steady breathing contrasting with your short, quick spasms of breath. In that moment, it felt as if it were only the two of you in the world. As if only you both truly mattered.
But those weren’t your feelings, were they?
They were his.
You gulped. Unhurried footsteps inched from behind. “You look tired. Have you eaten?” Caleb’s fingers interlocked with yours. Gently, he spun you around. The cap hung low on his head, obscuring half of his eyes. If only you’d spotted it from afar. Maybe if you’d picked up on his presence earlier, you could bolt in the opposite direction and avoid clashing into him.
He appeared from seemingly nowhere. Perhaps his appearance was also a calculated move that slipped past your radar.
Your final, most fatal loss.
Your reckoning.
You snatched your hand away. “You,” you cocked your head to meet his gaze, “What did you do to Rhys?”
You endured a long, deafening silence. The weight of it all pressed against your chest, squashing you against the mud. Like an insignificant, pesky bug meeting its end under the sole of one’s shoe.
A cold, frosty wind wafted through the atmosphere. Goosebumps prickled as frostbitten air slipped beneath your skin. The chill gnawed deep within your bones, causing painful pangs to crackle through you. Your knees buckled, unable to bear your weight any longer.
Expectedly, an arm wrapped itself around your waist and hoisted you up, pressing your body against his own.
Strings of water slid down from leaves nearby, splashing onto the pavement. Your forehead pulsated—that familiar sensation of dread that emerged each time you found yourself caught up in a complex, seemingly inescapable web. Usually, you’d bear the scissors to free yourself. But this time?
The webs cut into your skin, threading through your nerves. Every fibre of your being was tangled. The slightest movement would cause the intertwined nerves to be ripped out of your skin. A violent flash of lightning illuminated half of Caleb’s face.
“Who?” He lifted his chin, gazing at the sky as if buried deep in thought. When he looked down at you, he did so with a familiar darkness in his eyes. Envy. “Oh. Him.” His frown curled deeper as he uttered the last word.
“Why would that matter? It’s about us now.”
You locked your jaw. “What did you do?” Tears threatened to fall from your eyes.
As if able to distinguish between the rain and the remnants of your despair, Caleb brought his gloved hand and cradled your face. His thumb brushed against the tears, tossing them away as though they didn’t belong on your cheeks, and didn’t deserve to be shed from your eyes.
Not regarding another man, that is.
You flinched at his touch. A new, unsettling calm dawned over his countenance. And in a flick, all emotion dissipated from his eyes. His lips relaxed into a neutral line.
“I got rid of him.”
Your lips parted, but no words were uttered. A lump of saliva knotted in your throat. Your tongue was overcome with foreign saltiness.
“What do you mean…?”
No response.
“Caleb…” you stuttered, placing your palm on his hand, more to comfort yourself than to coerce him, “What did you do?”
His fingers trailed over your own. A tremor ran down your spine at the sheer tenderness he displayed, treating you as if you were a precious glass ornament ready to shatter at the slightest prick. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
Your arm dropped to your side. “You… did you hurt him?” Caleb didn’t reply. He only leered down at your trembling lips with an impenetrable mask. Or perhaps it seemed as such to you because you couldn’t be bothered enough to pick him apart.
You sucked in a breath and exhaled audibly. Your head lowered until you were staring at the surface of your mud-coated shoes. Think. What could get you out of this situation? Your eyes lingered on your feet for a while. The cogs whirred in your brain, working, but producing no reliable output.
A flock of thoughts flooded you—irrelevant, unimpressive, shrill, and horrid thoughts. What would he do to you once he’s got you in his grasp? You swallowed the saltiness, nearly gagging at the taste of your own bodily fluids.
But then, a thought emerged.
Bodily fluids. Bodily gases. You smelled ammonia—a common gas released upon the decay of a corpse. But amidst the urine-like stench, you smelled something else.
A strong stench of bleach—something you only picked up once you’d ventured inside the room. Meaning it was present nowhere else. The corpse crime scene hadn’t been cleaned. There was no need to tidy up after a corpse that hadn’t bled. And there was no residue of liquid bleach anywhere within the room. If there was, you certainly would’ve noticed.
“Chlorine.” You lifted your head to meet his gaze.
Finally, Caleb’s eyes flashed with a hint of emotion.
“I smelled chlorine in Caroline’s room.”
With an amused tilt of his head, Caleb wordlessly challenged your wits.
“She didn’t commit suicide. She was murdered with chlorine gas.” You glared up at him. “In gas form, chlorine is extremely noxious. Seventh grade chemistry stuff. You made it too easy.” You shook your head. “Once she expired, you didn’t hesitate to take her out.”
His lips curled to form a smirk you couldn’t shake off. It felt so out-of-place. So visceral. As if it didn’t belong on his pretty face.
It’s an expression he’d donned countless times in the past. But each time, it was a playful, giddy smirk. A boyish grin, more so. The one you’d flash before committing a silly act.
But this one conquered your nerves with an uneasy rattle.
Eyebrows slightly curved, his eyes subtly squinted, a feral glint alight in his gorgeous violets, and with his lips angled oddly. Your stomach churned. It felt as if you were being preyed upon and tested.
Nonetheless, you stood your ground. You ensured that every bit of you would exude defiance, from your visage to your body and to the hairs of your neck. But your insolence only seemed to rile him up. The lunatic look in his eyes deepened alongside his uncomfortable smirk. Your fire exhilarated him, as if watching you ablaze with passionate rebellion was the prettiest you could be.
Like it was one of the many things he absolutely adored about you.
In spite of his admiration, he wouldn’t let you have your way, though, would he?
“A harsh accusation. But,” his hand returned to your face, as if it was unable to keep itself from it, as if it belonged glued to its side, “The world knows you to be the killer.”
“You weren’t raised to be a monster.”
Caleb cocked his head to the side. He hummed.
“Sure it wasn’t you? Don’t worry, you can tell me.”
Your balled fists trembled. “So,” you drooped your head, letting your hair fall before your eyes, “I was right.”
“Then, tell me,” you continued, “How do you know the fleet won’t turn on you next?”
“Once you reach a certain rank, you’re free from those risks. She was merely a sergeant.” His shoulders jerked to a casual shrug. “The media needed a culprit. The law doesn’t care who it is, they just need a scapegoat. A person to throw into a cell.”
“Which was me.” You eyed him in disbelief.
In a sharp movement, Caleb squeezed your chin and brought your face to his, forcing you onto your tiptoes. “But,” an alien, hoarse voice rasped, “I wouldn’t let them have you. They wouldn’t take you from me. Not again. Not after…” You could see fragments of a memory flash in the reflection in his eyes—a memory you seemed to share with him, but one that wasn’t yours.
Normally, you’d pry further. Coerce him, utilise his vulnerable emotions to spill the truth from his lips without having to properly ask. But by now, you’d given up on his rehabilitation. Now, your most vital priority was survival.
“You put a tracker in that bracelet.” A proud grin spread across his face. He had the audacity to silently congratulate you after all that.
“This?” He held up something near his face. A shiny, silver chain with a sparkling white sapphire pendant dangled from his fingers. “You forgot it at the inn. Here.”
Gentle fingers grasped your arm. He slid the chain onto your wrist before hooking it shut. “You were made to be clad in jewels. A Goddess.” You shuddered at the abrupt softness of his voice. Sincerity was engraved into his movements.
For a moment, it felt as if he were simply a man in love, and nothing more. A man awarding his partner with a treasure purchased by hours of his hard work, made only for the one he loved so dearly. You yearned to close your eyes, to let your world sink into darkness so you could paint a picture of your own—one where the two of you were simply a happy, normal couple, living a humble, free life. But dreams were merely dreams. In the end, you had to wake up.
A frown graced your lips. Your bad luck charm had followed you into your doom. And once more, the shackle was clasped to your wrist.
“Did they touch you anywhere?” He gripped your arm. His eyes poured over your body.
“What?”
“The authorities.” He affirmed. “Did they—”
You pried your form away. A visible tick emerged in his forehead. “No, they didn’t.”
“Why…” his eyeballs quaked, rolling about in his head with fervour, “Why can’t you just…” His teeth sank into his bottom lip viciously, drawing blood. “Are you afraid of me? Of what I’ve become?”
If it were just this morning, when he’d sourced you with the warmest form of solace as he cradled you on his lap, you would’ve denied that claim. You would’ve fought back with all your heart, with passionate proclamations on how you feel the safest when with him, and how nobody feels like home other than him.
Just a few days ago, you’d approached him out of fascination. Love, yes. But above all things, you were intrigued. Lured by his mystical, webbed, and broken mind. Eager to pick apart the strands of his brain tissue and see for yourself how they operated.
But now?
You weren’t just afraid.
You were terrified of him. Of whom he had become. And who he could transform into in the near future.
So, you simply let your head hang as you pursed your lips into silence.
The man didn’t move. He didn’t shift, whimper, nor shout. He simply stood there with you. Beneath the cloak of the large, black umbrella. A gentle thunder ruptured the air. The gale softened. The tempest was nearing its end. The grey storm clouds were returning home.
“If you love something, you should work hard to earn it.” You wiped a few stray droplets off your eyes. “If you love me, you should work hard to be a better person for me. You can’t just… do this.”
With slow, sincere motions, Caleb lifted your arm and slotted it with his.
“Let’s go home, then. I’ll work hard for you this time. We can make things right.”
But you didn’t move. You simply stood, pulling back your arm ever so slightly. Not desperately, not angrily, just… subtly. As if your own games had tired you out. Because they had. What use was there in fighting back? You had already lost.
“There is no home to return to, Caleb.” A soft voice spoke. His lips twisted into a frown. Brief anger flashed in his eyes, but he didn’t speak. What was there to say? He knew you were right.
“Let’s go build one, then. We’ll begin from nothing.” His fingers tightened around yours. “One step at a time.”
“My home,” you averted your gaze, hesitant to continue, “doesn’t include you.”
The wrath returned, spreading through his visage like poison dipped onto a pond’s still surface. His grip tautened painfully. “What? Don’t you love me?” There was a scoff in his voice, a forced friendliness. “All right. I get it. You’re shy, is that it?” he grinned. But his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Much like a lot of his smiles nowadays.
You stared back at him with a worn countenance, unresponsive to his tease. But something subtly stirred in your chest. Nothing pleasant. Fear. He was at it again. He was walking a fine line between mania and sanity, and he threatened to topple over and fall into the clutches of psychosis at any moment.
Knowing what it was scared you more. Most would mistake it for hurt, for desperation or any other normal feeling in the book. But you knew all too well it wasn’t that.
He was losing himself. You were, both physically and psychically, driving him mad.
Caleb’s smile slackened. “Pip-squeak.” He shut his eyes in an attempt at self-restraint. When he opened them, your nerves screamed. “You don’t have a choice.”
“Either,” a step forward, “you come with me, help me fix what I broke, or…” he stopped. His lips neared yours. His hot breath fanned over your eyes. The knot in your stomach tightened. Tears rose to your eyes.
You should move away, display the last bits of your dimming defiance. But what was the point? It was all over. He’d caught you, and now, the victor would claim his prize. Your soaked clothes clung uncomfortably to your torso, moulding to your shape. It pressed against your chest. Suffocating, revealing, vulnerable—the words raced in your mind. Bile rose to your throat. The weight of the clothes dripping down irked you, but not more than how you felt practically revealed under his gaze.
You gulped.
“Ya know, killing an important member of the fleet is a serious offence.” His eyes skimmed over your body. You tensed right as he caught himself and deflected his gaze.
You understood what he implied. Granting you a swift, painless execution was the kindest decision the fleet could come upon.
“But,” the coldness in your eyes matched his, “you wouldn’t let that happen to me, would you?”
“Smart girl.” He ruffled your wet hair. “Either you come with me, or I drag you home kicking and screamin’.”
The lack of reluctance in his voice startled you, paired with the sheer casualness of his tone. You could tell he wasn’t lying.
“I don’t have a choice.”
“You don’t,” he confirmed. “So, shall we go home?”
You don’t respond. You only look at him. With empty, broken eyes, with a dimming spark of defiance still lingering in them.
And in his eyes, you spotted emotion. His brow furrowed, curled. His lips threatened to drag into a frown. He was recollecting. Zoning out on the image of your face, drifting away into the land of memories. Your patients often entered this semi-delirious state, so you’d naturally learned to pick up on it. During those times, you’d simply offer silence. Because for most, the memories they recalled whilst vulnerable and overwhelmed were the ones they hid from themselves the most. If you were to interrupt his thoughts, he’d never confront himself again.
You didn’t know what burdens his heart bore. You didn’t know how many times his flesh tasted the bite of steel. And you certainly didn’t know whether what he felt had justifications. But one thing you knew for sure was that Caleb had to confront his past soon. If he didn’t, he’d lose himself to his obsession.
But you knew it was a matter you couldn’t manipulate. It was not something you could push and pull behind the scenes to manoeuvre them the way they should be moved. There were parts of the human mind that even the most talented psychologists couldn’t access, and if they could, they were not to interfere.
And because of that, most patients embraced a similar decision each time.
He tilted his head. The onslaught of broken memories fragmented before disappearing entirely amidst the purple voids. Just like most, Caleb had chosen to run. And then, without hesitation, he took your arm and pulled.
“Atta girl,” he cooed.
The faltering rain drowned everything—the drum of your heartbeat softly thumping against your ribcage, slowed by the exhaustion biting your limbs. In the distance, the last train to Linkon rattled past.
With a crestfallen gaze, you stepped towards him. Caleb wrapped his arm around your waist and gently lugged you close. The cage you couldn’t see before clamped shut. And so did any possibility of his rehabilitation that you’d initially planned on.
And then, together, you stepped into a new beginning—a future that was no longer yours.
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starstruckmiraclekitty · 1 year ago
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Simon hadn’t been this nervous since his baby girl was born nearly two years ago now. His palms were sweating as he glanced over at his daughter, who was waiting with excitement by the window.
“Are you okay, Si?” You asked, flashing your husband a warm smile, before wiping down the kitchen table for the fifth time that afternoon. “You seem nervous.”
“Think we both are.” Simon gave you a half smile, his eyes softening as he took in the sight of his precious family. “Just nervous for the boys to finally meet my girls.”
You walked over to him, and were about to press a reassuring kiss to his lips before the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of your guests.
Your daughter squealed with excitement, and ran to open the door, her little arms barely able to reach the handle. “Daddy! They’re here!”
The door swung open revealing the 141 boys, each of them wearing matching smiles. Your daughter beamed up at them, and each of the men noted how similar she looked to her father.
The boys filed in, and it took all of a few seconds before your daughter was chatting away, clearly very excited to be meeting her daddy’s friends.
She had Johnny and Kyle’s full attention, showing them her newest collection of toys her daddy bought her, while John made his way over to you.
“It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Riley.” John smiled, politely pressing a kiss to your cheek. He extended his hands to you, revealing a bouquet of flowers. “I would’ve insisted on meeting you sooner, but your husband has done an impeccable job of keeping you and the little one a secret from us.”
Simon wore a proud smile as he watched the encounter, suddenly very much liking you being referred to as “Mrs. Riley”. “For good reason, didn’t want to put them at risk.”
“Nonsense, Simon. I’m so happy to meet all of you. It’s about time I’ve met the men who my husband trusts with his life.” You waived away your husband’s concerns, prompting John to chuckle. “I’m glad you all could make it tonight. These flowers are beautiful by the way, thank you!”
Johnny and Kyle eventually made their way over, each of them greeting you with bone crushing hugs.
“Daddy! Uncle Johnny said that he’d babysit me one day!” Your daughter exclaimed, moving to hang onto Johnnys leg tightly.
“Did he now?” Simon asked, quirking a brow as he looked in Johnnys direction. “Uncle Johnny, eh?”
“Thought it was fitting, no?” Johnny laughed, petting your daughter’s head playfully. “Gotta say, L.T, she’s a spitting image of you.”
Simon felt a flush rise to his cheeks, the sentiment causing a warmth to spread through his bones. “I’d say she’s got her mother’s looks.”
When dinner rolled around, your daughter insisted on sitting in between her uncle Johnny and Kyle, relishing in all the stories they could tell her about her daddy.
You took note of the permanent smile etched onto Simon’s lips- though he was relatively quiet you could tell that he was enjoying himself. You only wished you had done this sooner.
As he looked around the room, Simon felt his heart flutter as laughter filled the air. Any nervousness he had felt before was gone, and Simon felt undeniably happy. He had everybody he loved and cared about, finally under one roof.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: not super happy with this one- so planning on doing another version shortly☺️❤️ (ideas are welcome!!)
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amirasainz · 7 months ago
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Omg, i love your account so much. Can you make a Max x Reader story, where Max is a Mafia Boss and Reader is his wife. He is like super protective of her and gives her the princess treatment always. One night, she sees Max doing something horrible (can be whatever) and gets scared.
Make it angst and happy ending, please 🙏
Hi, I love this idea. I hope I did a good job.
Enjoy reading and send some requests
I am looking for some team principal reader ideas (but anything is fine)
-xoxo, Babygirl 💋
Just a dream
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Max Verstappen, feared Mafia boss in Europe, but to his wife Yn, he was simply Max. Her Max. The man who doted on her, showered her with affection and luxuries, and kept her blissfully unaware of the darker parts of his world. Yn knew that her husband was involved in something dangerous. After all, nobody amassed the kind of power and wealth Max did without blood on their hands. But he had always shielded her from that life. He insisted it was for her own protection, and Yn trusted him.
Their life together was picture-perfect. Max took Yn shopping regularly, indulging her in whatever she wanted, from designer clothes to exotic vacations. He was fiercely protective of her, ensuring she was never alone without a discreet but ever-present security detail. But most of all, he loved her with an intensity that was as overwhelming as it was comforting.
One night, however, everything changed.
♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧
It was late, past midnight, when Yn stirred in bed. Max’s side was empty, the sheets cold. She glanced at the clock—2:37 AM. Max had stepped out earlier, saying he had a meeting to handle but would be back soon. Usually, Yn slept through his absences, but something about the stillness in the house unsettled her.
Quietly, she slipped out of bed, pulling on one of Max’s oversized shirts before padding barefoot down the grand hallway. She heard muffled voices coming from one of the rooms downstairs, the sound of Max’s unmistakable low, commanding voice. Curiosity got the better of her, and before she knew it, she was walking toward the source of the noise.
As she rounded the corner, her heart stopped.
In the dimly lit room, Max stood in front of a man who was bound to a chair, his face bruised and bloodied, barely recognizable. The man’s head hung low, his body limp, and Max, the man who was her world, was towering over him with a look of cold fury. Two of Max’s men stood nearby, their arms crossed, watching the scene with detached indifference.
Yn gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. The sound was small, but it was enough.
Max’s head whipped around, his blue eyes immediately softening when they landed on her. In an instant, he shifted from the ruthless mafia boss to the husband who loved her more than anything.
“Yn,” he said, his voice thick with concern, stepping toward her quickly. “What are you doing up?”
Her eyes were wide with horror as she stared at the bloodied man, then back at Max. “Wh-What…what is this?” she stammered, her voice trembling.
Max’s jaw clenched, his expression darkening—not at her, but at his men. “Why didn’t any of you stop her?” he barked, his voice deadly.
The men flinched. “We thought she was asleep, Boss,” one of them muttered, eyes cast down, terrified of the consequences.
“Out. Now.” Max's command was sharp and final. His men hurried out of the room without another word, leaving Max and Yn alone.
He was by her side in seconds, his hands gently cradling her face as he searched her eyes for the fear he knew would be there. “Yn, Schatje, look at me,” he whispered, pulling her close, his strong arms wrapping around her trembling body.
She was shaking, unable to comprehend what she had just seen. “Max…what…what’s happening? Why is that man—?”
Max cut her off, pressing a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering as he spoke softly, soothingly. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe. I didn’t want you to see this.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, her mind racing. “You’re hurting him, Max,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
Max’s grip on her tightened, his heart aching as he heard the tremor in her voice. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Yn. I promised I’d protect you. That’s all this is, okay? It’s business. It’s not something you need to worry about.”
“But…he’s…” Her eyes darted back to the man, slumped in the chair. “Max, what are you doing to him?”
Max sighed, his hand moving to gently stroke her hair, his other arm still securely around her waist. “He made some very bad decisions. And in my world, there are consequences. But none of this…none of it touches you, Yn. I’ve made sure of that. You’ll never be part of this.”
Yn’s tears started to fall, and Max held her closer, his heart breaking at the sight of her distress. He leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry, love. You weren’t supposed to see this. I swear, I’ll make sure it never happens again.”
“But…” she tried to protest, her voice catching in her throat.
“No,” Max said firmly but gently, lifting her into his arms with ease. “You’re not staying here for this. I won’t let you. Come on, let’s go back to bed.”
She didn’t resist as he carried her upstairs, holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Once back in their bedroom, Max laid her down on the bed and crawled in beside her, pulling her close to his chest.
Yn buried her face in his neck, her tears wetting his skin as she cried softly. Max held her, rubbing her back in slow, soothing circles, whispering comforting words into her hair.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry,” he murmured over and over, his voice thick with regret. “I never wanted you to see that. It’s not who I am with you. Please, Yn, don’t be scared. I’ll protect you. Always.”
Yn clung to him, her body trembling against his. “I love you, Max,” she whispered through her tears, her voice broken.
“I love you more than anything, Yn,” Max whispered back, kissing the top of her head. “More than anything.”
---
The next morning, Yn woke up to the sunlight streaming through the curtains. For a moment, everything felt normal, the horrors of the previous night almost like a distant memory. Max was lying beside her, watching her with a soft smile on his face as he brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
“Good morning, liefde,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her gently on the lips.
Yn blinked, still feeling the weight of the night before, but Max’s calm demeanor made her second-guess herself. “Max, last night…I…” she began, her voice uncertain.
Max’s smile never wavered. He stroked her cheek tenderly. “It was just a bad dream, baby. You were restless, talking in your sleep. Nothing happened. You’re safe. I’m here.”
Yn frowned, trying to remember, but Max’s words were so reassuring, so certain, that she began to doubt her own memory. “A dream?” she whispered, confused.
Max nodded, his eyes full of love and warmth. “Just a dream. Everything’s okay now.”
Yn nodded slowly, letting herself relax against him. It had felt so real, but maybe she had just been imagining things. Max always protected her, kept her safe. Why would he lie to her?
She snuggled closer to him, letting out a small sigh of relief as Max wrapped his arms around her once more, holding her tightly as though he never wanted to let go.
But as Max held her close, his expression hardened ever so slightly. What Yn didn’t see—what Max made sure she never would—was the bloody rope still hidden under the sofa downstairs. The remnants of the life he kept carefully tucked away, far from the woman he loved more than anything.
And he would do whatever it took to keep it that way.
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buckyalpine · 1 year ago
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you know what I live for? Misunderstandings. Angst. Fluff.
You bit your lip hearing Bucky's conversation with his two closest friends, the three men sitting together in the living room. It clearly wasn't a conversation for anyone else's ears but you couldn't move from the spot you were glued to.
“I-I think I should tell y/n” Bucky sighed, pacing up and down the living room while Sam and Steve were silently judging the super soldier.
"Seriously? This little affair still going on?" Sam shook his head while Bucky gave him a small nod.
“I really like her” He whispered, fiddling with his fingers.
“Well you got tell her, no point keeping it to yourself at this point, she deserves to know. It's been going on for long enough Buck” Steve gave Bucky a pointed look.
“She makes me feel safe. It’s different. I love y/n, but-" Bucky flopped onto the couch, staring up a the ridiculously high ceiling.
“But?”
“This-this is different. I-I think I love her-”
“Do you hear yourself right now” Sam said incredulously, not feeling an ounce of sympathy for him, "You brought this on yourself so deal with it"
“I know” Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's just-you should see the way she looks at me, her eyes, I didn't mean for it to get this far-
"Save it. Tell y/n" Steve stated, not willing for any of this to go on any longer. This wasn't the first time his bestfriend brought up this topic and he was certain it wouldn't be the last unless Bucky came clean.
You hadn't even realized you'd started crying until you struggled to choke back a sob, slapping your hand over your mouth and running off to your room instead. Bucky frowned at the soft sniffle he thought he heard, craning his neck to see an empty hallway.
"Did you hear that?" He turned to Steve who shared the same look of concern. "Fuck, do you think that was y/n?" His heart raced further, desperately wanting to run over to you, looking at the clock and realizing it was also time for him to see her. As much as he loved you, he had to go to her first.
He didn't have a choice.
-
A soft knock at the door pulled you from your misery, your boyfriends pleading voice muffled on the other side.
"Baby?" Bucky knocked again, desperately hoping you'd let him in and give him a chance to explain himself. He never intended for any of this to happen. He finally decided to let himself in, opening the door, his heart dropping seeing your sad, pouty face, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. He knew you'd overheard him so there was no point in hiding anything anymore.
"This isn't how I wanted you to find out" Bucky spoke softly, shuffling at the door, guilt plastered all over his face. He closed the door behind him before walking over to the bed and sitting beside you. Before you could say anything, he shifted closer to you, nervously biting his lip.
"Her name is Alpine" Tucked into the crook of his arm was a tiny white kitten no more than a few weeks old, happily cuddled into the warmth of his chest. She looked up at him with bright blue eyes, blinking slowly while he cooed, seeing she was up from her nap.
"This is who you were talking to Sam and Steve about?" You asked nervously while Bucky sheepishly nodded, giving you an apologetic smile for his dramatics.
"I've been taking care of her. I know we're not allowed to have pets but I couldn't just leave her there in the cold" Bucky whispered, petting her small head with his finger while she batted at his tags. You giggled at how soft your boyfriend was for the tiny kitten, the furbaby having him wrapped around her little paws.
"I found her while I was out on a run, she was by one of the bushes. I don't think her mom came back for her, she was alone. She was so tiny, she would've died" Bucky felt his throat tighten, remembering the day he'd heard her cries from the garden, her tiny form fitting into the palm of his hand. She'd been days old, waiting for someone to find her.
"I've been feeding her every couple hours, got a box set up by the bush with some blankets but she can't stay there forever. Steve caught me checking on her a few days ago" Bucky looked at you with puppy eyes, hoping you'd understand what he was asking.
"Is this where you've been running off to?" You shook your head while he smiled down at the kitten, proud of how much she'd grown.
"Can we keep her? I don't to put her in a shelter, she'll be scared and she just got comfortable letting me hold her, I don't want her to feel abandoned-"
"We'll keep her. Let's talk to Tony tomorrow" You hushed your boyfriends nervous rambling with a soft kiss to his sweet lips, rubbing your thumb along his jaw.
"Really?" His eyes lit up, bright and blue, matching the baby that stole his heart.
"Really, you big softie" You teased, loving your teddybear of a boyfriend.
"I'm sorry I worried you" Bucky whispered, pulling you to sit in his lap, his two favorite girls cuddling into him.
-
"He finally came clean" Sam snorted, seeing you and Bucky sprawled on the floor, surrounded by a bunch of cat toys, with a blur of white fur jumping between the two of you. "How'd you convince Stark"
"Didn't take much to be honest" you giggled; Tony tried to put up a stoic front, melted instantly as soon as Alpine crawled up his leg, purring into the crook of his neck. "He bought her a heated cat bed and automatic food dispenser"
Alpine stretched across the warm giant couch, curling up under a patch of sun while Bucky looked at her with hearteyes.
"I have competition with a cat" You playfully frowned while Bucky shook his head, scooping you into his arms immediately.
"Never babydoll, you're my everything"
I thought I overheard you saying she's different" You nudged him while he tried to defend himself again, only to fail miserably.
"He's lying y/n, he talked about her eyes and the way she looks at him" Sam chimed in, while Bucky hid himself into the crook of your neck. "And how he thinks he loves her"
"Shut up Sam"
"Such a softie"
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zeppelinlvr · 8 months ago
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Still Feel Like That
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Dean Winchester x Female Reader
Summary: you accompany Dean, Sam, and Bobby on a hunt. You and Dean go out for a drink and Dean looks after you when you've had too much to drink.
Notes: Reader is a yapper (cus same), kinda implied that reader is Bobby's kid but it's not stated outright, sorry if you like Poison or Bret Micheals reader hates on them for a second, I assumed that Dean switched out his radio with one that would be compatible with cassettes since a 67' would likely have a 8 track player, I got lazy with my research so I apologize if any facts are incorrect (feel free to correct me).
Warnings: Suggestive language, flirting, cursing, mentions of throwing up, y/n is used like three times, Dean in his undies (yummy!)
Word Count: 4.1k
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You sat at Bobby’s old wooden table, sipping hot coffee from your Garfield mug. You didn’t own it but when you saw the grumpy orange cat with a text saying ‘I'm listening I just don’t care’ sitting on Bobby’s shelf of mismatched old mugs you’d used the cup ever since. 
You sat in your pajama shorts, slippers, and an old tee shirt, the cracked text reading “Winfield national flatpickin’ championships”. The shirt previously belonged to Bobby and he couldn’t remember how he acquired such an item, he assumed he was passing through Kansas and picked it up along the way, but you loved it so much he felt it was necessary to give it to you. 
You were reading through a book you had picked up on demonology. Bobby had given you a few vague events that had occurred and you were trying to figure out what exactly he was dealing with. You had a book on Pagan gods on standby. 
You heard the front door open, figuring it was Bobby you chose to continue reading but when you heard unfamiliar voices you quickly looked up in a panic, nearly knocking your chair over to try to scramble and find Bobby. You were not a hunter by any means, you just did the research and stayed in the comfort of motels. You knew some basic self defense but you could not fight a serious threat on your own.
You were making a dash for the nearest room when you heard Bobby yell your name. 
You quickly spun around to look at him, seeing two tall, handsome, potentially dangerous, men standing next to him. 
“What the hell are you doing kid?” Bobby asked you, concerned by your panic stricken expression.
“I heard people- and I was trying to find you and not die” You uttered out, still confused about who the two other men were. “Sorry, who the hell are these guys” you added 
“Sam and Dean I talk-” Bobby started but you cut him off 
“Winchester?” you asked excitedly “Bobby talks about you two all the time and I really wanted to meet both of you, especially Dean, Bobby says you make stupid decisions but you sound fun” you rambled quickly, a smirk growing on the shorter ones face at your mention of him. 
“Oh my god you have to be Sam, you totally have that sad puppy look” you said to the taller one “You could ask me to donate my life savings to a charity then build a shelter for the homeless and I totally would” you continued to talk.
“I like her” the shorter man who you had now assumed was Dean said with a grin 
“Wait Dean” you started turning to him “Did you drive your car here, I’ve heard rumors it's a totally awesome 67’ impala and I’ve been dying to see it” 
Before Dean could respond with a comment about how you were marriage material Bobby interrupted your rambling “Okay motor mouth, I’m sure Sam and Dean are enthralled by your commentary but they need our help” 
“Are you the super smart Y/n?” Sam asked 
“The one who has saved our asses more times than we can count” Dean added
“Yes, that's her, and I don't prefer to shout about her to the whole world because she's not exactly Hulk Hogan” Bobby said, growing slightly annoyed with the continued blabbering. 
“Really? Hulk Hogan? You have to compare me to that doofus, call me Bret Micheals while you’re at it” You shot at him 
“I’m sorry, would you prefer to be Kerry VonErich” Bobby sighed 
“Yes, minus his incredibly tragic life” you said as you crossed your arms over your chest. 
“Bobby why have we not met this chick sooner, she's awesome” Dean said slightly in awe. 
“You two don't care to stop by all that often and I knew you and her would get along real well and we wouldn't get anything done” Bobby responded hinting at the exact situation that was happening. 
“Let me see Dean’s car then I promise I will be productive” you offered
“Yeah let her see my car” Dean added, Sam smiling at the situation and Bobby rolling his eyes and reluctantly agreeing. 
The four of you made your way outside and when you saw the impala you let out a gasp of excitement before sprinting towards it. 
“She is so beautiful” you gushed to Dean “You keep her in phenomenal condition, does she run well?” 
“Like she’s new” Dean responded, smiling at your excitement over the car. 
“Is there an 8 track player? I have a few tapes I could give you if you want” You offered 
“Switched it out for a cassette player” Dean told you
“Good choice, 8 tracks are such a hassle, you can hear another song playing in the background of whatever you're trying to listen to, and don't even think about trying to fast forward to get to the song you want, at least you have a slim chance to land on the right song with cassettes” you rambled 
“Yeah no kidding, you wanna see my tape collection” Dean offered 
“Nope, we agreed on just the car now we need to figure out what the hell is going on in Pawnee Nebraska” Bobby interrupted as the four of you made your way back into the house 
“I’m so sick of going to these ho-hum towns, why can't you guys hunt things that reside in memphis or something, I want to go to a museum that isn't about the butter cow or a mayor who died of dysentery” You said with a sigh
“Hunting in this ho hum town means road trip and i'm sure Dean would be delighted to let you ride down with him” Bobby offered for Dean, partly because he wanted some silence in his own car and he also wanted you, Dean, and Sam to be able to talk as much as you pleased and hopefully be caught up so you could focus on working. 
Dean agreed to the idea and Sam shrugged, hoping you would prevent bickering between him and his brother. 
“I promised I’d focus so Sam, you’re smart, have you found out more than some bad weather and a ‘still under investigation death of a couple’” You asked, turning to the taller brother, offering him a smile, slightly feeling bad you’d paid so much attention to his brother and not talked to Sam much. 
“Yeah, I think the weather is unrelated, I found autopsy reports and the couple had these wounds on the back of their necks. I don't recognize the pattern but you might be able to” he replied to you with a soft smile, he made his way to his computer and set it on the table where your abandoned books and coffee lay. 
You made a noise of disgust upon seeing the picture but you instantly recognized the wound pattern “That has to be changelings, they feed off of the mother until she dies, it's so creepy” You started “In a lot of the books I’ve read they switch out an infant for a changeling, did the couple have a kid?” you asked 
“Yeah, but she's a little girl who’s ten years old” Sam replied to you
“Different cultures have varying takes on changelings, some of them say they can grow and develop like a human would, so it's definitely a possibility” You told him “We have to get down there asap before more kids are switched out, and when you figure out where the little girl is at now, monitor her behavior closely, she's gonna be hungry and use abnormal phrases for a ten year old.” You explained
“Alright you heard her” Dean said, squeezing between you and Sam and placing a hand on your shoulder. He secretly wanted your attention back on him. 
“Let me pack a bag and change then I’ll be ready to head out” you told them
“Same goes for me, give us five minutes” Bobby added
You headed to your room and changed into jeans and tee shirt, additionally throwing on a crewneck from a college in Louisiana that you had found in the aisles of a thrift store. 
You threw a few additional outfits in a duffle bag and your pajamas which consisted of sleep shorts and a tee shirt, you threw your slippers for your constantly cold feet in the bag and you were ready to go. 
Your socked feet padded against the floor as you made your way to the front door to grab your shoes. You threw them on and told the group you were ready to go. 
Dean, Sam and you crowded into the impala, Dean leaping on the opportunity to tell Sam to sit in the back after you had informed the brothers you get carsick. 
“I have zofran, Sam can sit in the front, I don't want to take his spot” you said 
“Nope, Sam get in the back” Dean quickly said as he took his spot in the driver's seat. 
After the three of you had gotten in the car and started on the trip Sam complained “Dean, I know there's a pretty girl but what if I get carsick in the back” 
“You won't, and the very pretty girl won't complain about my music choices” Dean told him and raised his brows at you.
Your face heated at how they referred to you, you cleared your throat and changed the subject “I know you guys are more hands on than me so I know a few ways to figure these things out, different folklore says if you can make them laugh they’ll reveal their truth, or you can shout god bless you, you can cook with eggshells. German legends say you can whip the child but honestly the easiest way to kill them is just lighting the fuckers on fire” You explained “People used to throw them in the fireplace or in the oven but you can get away with a blowtorch and a can of hairspray” 
“That's more our speed” Dean replied 
“People were seriously throwing these things in ovens?” Sam asked “What if the kid wasn't actually a changeling” 
“People got overly paranoid and it wasnt exactly common knowledge back then that someone could be born with physical or mental disabilities, also families used to be really reliant on everyone in the household being able to help out so a lot of child abuse ensued because parents didnt want to have a changeling on their hands” You explained “Anyway these things creep me out so lets talk about something more lighthearted on the way there” 
“i agree sweetheart” Dean said and you blushed at the name “I heard your comment about Bret Micheals, are you a Poison hater” 
“I can tolerate them but I will not go out of my way to listen to them, they’re definitely one of the lamest hair bands” you told him “I definitely prefer Van Halen, Quiet Riot, Def Leppard and Cinderella if I’m going to listen to hair bands” 
“Atta girl, you don’t like that Barry Manilow bullshit do you?” Dean asked 
“God no, fuck Styx too, that Babe song pisses me off” you laughed 
“Cus you know it’s you babe” Sam started singing off key and you groaned in annoyance, Dean laughing. 
The three of you talked about music, movies, and Sam and Dean's past hunts, asking odd would you rather questions when trying to think of new conversation topics 
“Okay would you rather have to eat a little bit of cheese on everything or never eat cheese again” you asked 
“Never eat cheese again” Sam quickly answered 
“I’d put a little bit on everything I fucking love cheese” you answered 
After extensive conversation and small bits of bickering the three of you made it to Nebraska, Bobby close behind.
Dean checked into the hotel, getting two rooms, one for him and Sam and one for you and Bobby. He gave the woman behind the counter a credit card with a name that most certainly was not his then the three of you made your way to the rooms. Dean opened the door to one of the rooms and the cowboy theme of the room made you laugh.
“You sure know how to pick ‘em’ Dean” you said 
“It’s fun, this cowboy boot pen holder on the desk is cute” he said, picking up the small red ceramic boot with a few pens sticking out of it.
“It is kinda cute, and I like the lasso on the wall” you pointed out 
“Oh man, creepy” you said as you noticed the sad clown painting hanging above the bed. 
“That's coming down” Sam said and quickly moved over to the painting to take it off the wall and lay it face down in the corner of the room. 
“Sammy here is a afraid of clowns” Dean informed you
“I don’t blame him, they’re scary, and all the media about killer clowns doesn’t exactly make me want to see one” you replied 
Bobby arrived at the motel shortly after the three of you had gotten the rooms. The four of you were discussing plans for the next day as it was later and you all agreed to start interviewing people in the morning. 
“i’m gonna go grab a drink, I saw a bar about ten minutes from here” Dean announced 
“I’ll join you if Bobby and Sam don’t need help with research” you said 
“Go take a break kid, you work your ass off, me and Sam will be fine” Bobby told you, you thanked him and gave him a quick hug before heading out with Dean. 
You weren’t surprised by the crowd at the bar, mostly older men who looked like they had just gotten off work, farm clothes and dirty work shirts adorned most of them. A few of them had women who you assumed were their wives at their side, chatting quietly with them. You were glad your outfit wasn’t out of place for the scene. 
A man who you guessed to be around fifty was working behind the bar, he gave Dean and you a soft smile before asking what you’d like to drink. 
“I’ll take a beer” Dean told him
“Busch okay? We don’t have anything else” The bartender replied 
“Perfect” 
“And for the pretty lady” the bartender asked 
“I’ll just take a vodka cranberry” you said, not minding his comment too much, you knew he didn’t mean anything by it, people just talked like that. 
You and Dean sat at the bar after getting your drinks, chatting with each other. 
One drink led to another and you lost count of how many you had drank. You were asking Dean silly questions and you began to vocalize your thoughts about how handsome he is.
“I know you can't kill a vampire with a wooden stake, but have you ever tried death by stereo?” you asked with a giggle, you had taken your hand into his and were toying with his fingers. 
“The Lost Boys is a great movie, me and Sammy will try out death by stereo just for you the next time we hunt vampires” he replied earning a laugh from you.
“You are so manly and cute and handsome” you slurred poking a finger into his chest, eyes widening at the firmness of his muscles “Oh my gosh you’re strong too, I feel like I just poked a rock” 
He laughed and shook his head at your comments “Let's get you to bed before you say more shit you’ll regret tomorrow.” 
“I don't regret anything, I’ve been thinking about how cute you are all day, and those big arms wrapped around-” You blabbered but were cut off by Dean.
“Yep time for bed, but give me a heads up sweetheart if you still feel this way after you’ve sobered up” 
“I’m going to pay, then we’re going to get in the car, then get you to bed” he added
“Very forward, I like it” you giggled with a raise of your brows. 
After Dean paid he walked you out to the Impala, you stumbling slightly finding it hard to walk after being sat down all night. 
“I'm cold” you lied, you were not cold but you wanted his jacket.
“You have a sweater on?” he replied with confusion lacing his tone.
“You're supposed to give me your jacket then I can smell like you” you told him and tried to give him a hug while still walking. 
He forced a sigh then wrapped his jacket around you. You snuggled into it and thanked him.
After a car ride consisting of you informing Dean your feet hurt and you were tired, the two of you arrived back at the motel.
Dean opened the door to yours and Bobby's shared room. You giggled noticing the lights were off. 
Dean attempted to shush you “he's probably asleep already, quiet down” 
You only laughed harder at the fact you needed to be quiet “he looks like Ebenezer Scrooge when he sleeps, he just needs the little hat” you commented through your giggles, Dean tried to hide his smile to not encourage you. 
“I always think the ghost of Christmas past is gonna get him” you said before bursting into laughter and Dean quickly slapping his hand over your mouth. He pushed you into the bathroom and shut the door attempting to muffle your giggles. He flipped the light on and asked you where your duffle bag was. 
“In the room somewhere” you shrugged 
“Well no shit sweetheart” 
“It's on my bed I think” you giggled 
“Okay perfect you stay right here and I’ll go get it then you're going to change and go to bed” he told you
Dean groped through the dark until he found your bag, it was sitting on your bed as you had told him. He made his way back to the bathroom to find you sitting on the toilet lid, playing with the toilet paper roll that had the first square folded into a fancy shape. 
“Isn't this just precious” you said and showed him the toilet paper
“Yes, very cute put it down” he said and took the roll out of your hands, placing it on the counter. 
He opened your bag and fished out your shorts and a tee shirt “get changed” 
“No can do, can’t get my pants off” you shrugged with a fake sigh 
Usually Dean would be enthralled to take a girl's pants off but he wasn’t in the mood for an ass whooping from Bobby. 
He just prayed Bobby wouldn’t wake up because you weren’t budging. He helped you shimmy your jeans off your legs, then slipped your shorts onto you. 
“Need help with my shirt too” you said as you shrugged his jacket off your shoulders and put it into your lap. 
He slipped your crewneck over your head, your shirt coming off with it. He quickly took in your figure, admiring the sight of you in your bra before he slipped a clean shirt over your head. 
You unclasped your bra and slipped it off from under your shirt before tossing it on the bathroom floor. 
“Really? you can do that but you can’t change on your own” Dean whisper yelled 
“I can’t show you too much” you shrugged “now can you carry me to bed?”
He was willing to do anything to get you in bed at this point so he scooped you up in his arms and carried you out to your bed, you giggled as he threw you down onto the sheets. 
“Go to bed now” he whispered and you quickly made yourself comfortable under the blankets, cuddling into his jacket that you still held in your arms. 
You heard the door close and you soon drifted off to sleep. 
You awoke around four in the morning the red numbers off the alarm clock informing you of the time. You were starving and the alcohol had barely worn off. you crawled out of bed and slipped on Dean's jacket, it hung loosely on your figure, the length going past your shorts and the sleeves being far too long. You were glad for the added warmth because you were freezing. 
You were absolutely craving fried chicken and you dug through the mini fridge wholeheartedly expecting to find some, when the disappointment hit you, you left the room and went into Sam and Dean's room, letting yourself in with the spare key you had been given. 
You began to dig through their refrigerator in the dark, expecting to find some chicken but when you heard a gun click and the light flipped on, you spun around, met by Dean in his underwear and Sam shuffling in moments later with his blanket wrapped around him.
“What the hell are you doing” Dean asked 
“I want fried chicken so bad” you complained 
“Why would we have fried chicken?” Dean asked, still groggy and confused. 
“I don’t know I just wanted to check” you told him 
Sam laughed at the interaction, telling Dean he shouldn’t have let you drink so much before he headed back to his bed. 
“I promise I will get you fried chicken in the morning but please go back to bed” Dean told you 
“You look cute in your undies” you giggled 
“And you look cute in my jacket now go to bed” he mimicked your giggle. 
You agreed but not before you made him promise to get you your food in the morning, you made him lock pinkies with you despite his complaints of annoyance. 
You made your way back to your room and quickly fell asleep again. 
The next morning was hell, Bobby woke you up around 8 and you were met with a headache and a need for water. The second you stood up you found yourself running to the bathroom as a nauseating feeling built in your throat. 
You heard Sam and Dean talking as you were throwing up the memories of last night. Both of them asking how you were doing, and Bobby explaining you were currently throwing up, expecting an explanation from Dean as to why. 
Dean ducked out of the conversation “I’m going to get her water and hold her hair back, like a man does” he walked into the bathroom and gave a small chuckle at your figure hunched over the toilet. 
“Do not fucking laugh at me” you groaned 
“You still want that fried chicken” he asked, and you gagged at the thought, he grabbed you a cup of water to rinse your mouth out with and handed you the toilet paper you had been previously admiring to wipe your mouth off with. 
You wiped the sweat from your forehead and the tears from your eyes before standing up to brush your teeth. 
“You still gotta work today you know” Dean told you 
you rolled your eyes at him and after you had finished brushing your teeth you said “I’ll survive, I can tolerate sitting and reading, you have to go fight the things” 
You and Dean joined Bobby and Sam, Sam having told Bobby about you breaking into their room. You were expecting to get your ass chewed out but all you got from Bobby was “Kid I’m glad you had fun, you need to loosen up sometimes, but we still need your help today, so I expect your best” 
You agreed and gave him a quick hug before setting up a spot to research on the desk in the room. 
Sam and Dean left to put on formal clothes as they were posing as detectives and had to look the part. They returned to the room after changing. 
“Don’t you boys look handsome” you said with a grin 
“We have to be believable” Dean grumbled 
“I’m being serious, you look nice” you smiled “I’m going to look for potential demonic activity in other areas, call me if you need anything” 
“Will do sweetheart” Dean replied 
“Thanks for all your help y/n, we’ll pick you up some fried chicken on our way back” Sam grinned 
Your stomach churned at the thought of eating anything but maybe you’d change your mind later in the day, so you didn’t shut him down. 
As the three were turning to leave you said “by the way Dean, I do still feel like that” earning a grin from him and his head flooding with thoughts of what he could do to you when he got back. 
✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
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theetherealbloom · 5 months ago
Text
IF THERE'S NOTHING LEFT - CH.2
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Chapter Two: Hold On For Dear Love
Summary: You, a skilled healer, are brought to Rome by Senator Gracchus under the pretense of treating gladiators and Roman elites. You work with General Marcus Acacius to fight against the cruel reign of the twin emperors. Through danger and shared hope, your connection becomes a source of strength as you both dream of freeing Rome.
Paring: General Marcus Acacius x F!Reader
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, ANGST, Fluff, SMUT, Age-Gap(ish), Ancient Rome, Canon-Typical Violence, Gladiators, Blood, Gore, War, Romance, Politics, Alternate Universe, Eventual SMUT, Slavery, Sexism, Misogyny, Guilt, PTSD, Rebellion, Empires, (Very Light) Strangers-to-Enemies-to-Friends-to-Lovers, Crowds, Shouting, Animals, Duels, Loose Historical Fiction, Kissing,
Word Count: 10.1k
A/N: Chat, I am giving the reader a super vague background, like it won't matter too much, lol. You’re here for the vibes, and so am I ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So this entire fic isn’t gonna be overly complicated, I don’t think this is the fic for that. I mean, they put sharks in the Colosseum, so… we’re going to take some liberties here and there for funsies. It’s fanfiction, it’s supposed to be fun :> ALSO YA’LL I GOT INTO A GROOVE. I wasn’t planning on updating til next week but the words kept coming to me and suddenly I’m done with chapter two hehe. AND YES YES SHUSH NEXT CHAPTER IS SMUT. MAYBE. Ok enjoy girlies heheh.
Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!
Song: Hymn To Virgil by Hozier
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SENATOR THRAEX’S PARTY — DAY
The grand villa was alive with music, laughter, and the heady scent of roasted meats and spilled wine. Senators, high-ranking officials, and Rome's wealthiest citizens mingled among trays of fruit and platters of delicacies, their voices filling the air with a cacophony of conversation and self-indulgent boasts. Courtesans draped in sheer silks wove through the throng, their laughter as light and false as the smiles of their patrons.
You stood to the side, partially hidden in the shadow of a marble column. The position offered a semblance of privacy while giving you a clear view of the room. You made mental notes of the faces present—senators, generals, and merchants, all drunk on wealth and power. Their alliances and rivalries played out in every guarded glance and overly polite toast.
Senator Gracchus approached you with a goblet of wine, his face etched with age but kind. “You look like a soldier observing a battlefield,” he remarked dryly.
You smiled faintly, accepting the drink. “It feels like one. Though I’m not sure which side I belong to.”
Gracchus chuckled, leaning slightly closer. “In Rome, one must always choose a side, my dear. Even if that choice is to appear invisible.”
Before you could respond, a voice interrupted. “Ah, the daughter of misfortune graces us with her presence.” Senator Thraex’s saccharine tone drew the attention of those nearby. He strode toward you, his beady eyes alight with thinly veiled mockery. “I was just telling Gracchus how tragic your loss must have been. Your poor parents—what a terrible end.”
Your jaw tightened, but you forced a polite smile. “Your concern is appreciated, Senator. They are at peace now.”
Thraex clasped his hands, feigning sympathy. “Still, such a pity. A young woman like you, left all alone in this cruel city. Surely by now, you should have found a husband to protect you from its dangers?”
The words stung, though you refused to let it show. Keeping your tone steady, you replied, “I fear my reputation for independence precedes me. Not all men wish to marry someone who refuses to play the meek lamb.”
Gracchus coughed into his goblet, poorly disguising a laugh, while Thraex’s smile faltered. “How... peculiar,” he said, his tone sharper now. “Though perhaps not surprising. It would be difficult to find a suitor for one so... outspoken.”
The room seemed to hum with energy as Thraex’s face, darkened with irritation from your earlier remark, shifted into a mask of forced hospitality when his gaze landed on a man entering the crowd—a towering figure wrapped in silk and jewels, his presence as commanding as it was enigmatic. You followed Thraex's movement as he moved to greet the man, a name rippling through your thoughts: Macrinus.  
You had heard whispers of him before. A former gladiator who had fought for his freedom, now a powerbroker in Rome. He supplied food, wine, and oil for the empire’s armies, manufactured weapons, and even maintained a stable of gladiators. His name carried weight, his connections extending into the darkest corners of Roman politics.
As Thraex approached Macrinus, his false charm returned, his arms spreading wide. “Macrinus!” he greeted, his voice dripping with exaggerated warmth. He clapped the man on the shoulder with an enthusiasm that bordered on theatrical. “I knew the provinces could never contain you.”
Macrinus accepted the embrace with a faint smirk, his dark eyes scanning the room with calculated ease. “I’m just here for the games,” he replied, his tone casual, though there was a hint of something sharper beneath the surface.  
Thraex chuckled, his grip lingering on the man’s shoulder. “Ah well, you won't be disappointed. Rome has all the games that men like you like to play.”
“Men like me, cracks men like us.” Macrinus shot back, his grin widening. “I know nothing happens in Rome unless you… tasted it first! ”
Thraex laughed at the jab, the sound too loud to be sincere. Their exchange continued, a dance of veiled threats and mutual amusement. You lingered at the edge of the room, doing your best to blend into the shadows, your ears straining to catch every word.  
Thraex handed Macrinus a gilded chalice of wine, his eyes glinting with curiosity. “What's this we hear about you being interested in standing for an election to the senate practice?”
Macrinus stiffened, his surprise poorly concealed as he let out a dry chuckle. “Me? You know, I don't even know how to use an abacus,” He sipped his wine before adding with a wry smile, “but I do understand that… it's customary for your guests to make wagers at these affairs.”
Thraex’s eyes narrowed slightly, though his smile didn’t falter. “How large a sum did you have in mind?”
Macrinus tilted his head thoughtfully, the jewels around his neck catching the light. “A thousand gold aureus?”
Thraex’s lips curled into a grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “Two,” he countered smoothly.
Macrinus glanced at the courtesan draped over his arm, as if seeking her approval. The woman gave a slight nod, and Macrinus shrugged, turning back to Thraex. “Denarius,” he said simply, the single word carrying enough weight to silence Thraex for a fleeting moment.
Macrinus walked away with an easy swagger, leaving Thraex standing alone with his forced smile slipping into a scowl. The flash of irritation on his face, so quickly concealed, didn’t escape your notice.  
You couldn’t suppress a small smirk of your own as you turned your attention elsewhere. Rome’s elite might dress themselves in finery and smiles, but it was clear that every word exchanged tonight was a thread in the intricate tapestry of power. Threads you were determined to unravel.  
The air in the grand hall shifted, thick with anticipation as the crowd clustered toward the edges of the room. The glint of opulence—golden goblets, silk-draped tables, and jewels adorning the guests—clashed against the dark reality of what was about to unfold. Your eyes lingered briefly on a figure across the way: a man, bound in chains, sitting quietly. There was no fear in his expression, only a smoldering anger that made you uneasy.  
The sound of clapping drew your attention back to the center of the room. Senator Thraex, ever the showman, raised his voice above the murmur of the crowd. “Stand back! Stand back!” he called, his tone a mix of authority and delight.  
You stepped aside, blending into the edges of the gathering, as the spectators parted to form a circle. The twin emperors, Caracalla and Geta, lounged decadently on their perch, surrounded by concubines who laughed and whispered among themselves. Their indifference to the gathering's undertones was maddening.  
Thraex turned toward them with an exaggerated bow. “My emperors,” he began with a grin before addressing the audience. “Lords, ladies, senators—tonight, for your entertainment... the art of combat!”  
Excited gasps rippled through the room, the revelers’ reactions equal parts anticipation and bloodlust. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. Thraex gestured dramatically toward the two men brought forward—one was the same figure you’d seen earlier, still brooding but now standing tall.  
“And now,” Thraex continued, “the barbarian, versus from my own stable, the mighty Vijay!”  
The crowd erupted into applause as Vijay, a towering figure in a yellow tunic, was escorted forward. His opponent, the gladiator from across the room, now squared his shoulders and met Vijay’s gaze.  
“It is your gladiator?” Emperor Geta asked, his tone laced with mild amusement, as he glanced at Macrinus.  
Macrinus inclined his head respectfully. “It is, your Majesty.”  
Chains were removed from both men, their freedom feeling more like a death sentence. Thraex began to set the terms. “Three rounds, hand-to-hand—”  
But Emperor Caracalla’s voice cut through. “Swords!” he barked, his grin wicked.  
The room fell silent.  
“We want swords. A fight to the death!” Caracalla continued, his voice rising with glee. “No quarter to be offered, or given!”  
Thraex hesitated, his expression faltering for a moment, but the guards stepped forward, placing swords into the gladiators’ hands. You felt your stomach twist as the two men began circling one another.  
The gladiator of Macrinus spoke first, his voice calm but edged with pleading. “Brother, come now. Let us not kill each other for their amusement.”  
Vijay’s only response was a roar as he lunged, his sword slicing through the air. The next moments were chaos. Blades clanged as they met, sparks flying from each blow. The room seemed to shrink around the violence as tables splintered and decorations toppled.  
The climax came when Vijay’s sword slipped from his grasp in the scuffle. The other gladiator seized the opportunity, driving his blade into Vijay’s chest. A sharp gasp escaped you as the larger man crumpled to the marble floor, his blood pooling beneath him.  
The victor tossed his sword to the ground with a clatter, breathing heavily, his face and tunic spattered with blood. Around you, the crowd erupted into applause and cheers, their delight in stark contrast to your quiet horror.  
“Remarkable!” Emperor Geta exclaimed, standing as he clapped his hands. He approached Macrinus with an approving nod. “Congratulations.”  
“Thank you, your Majesty,” Macrinus replied smoothly.  
Geta then turned to the gladiator, studying him with newfound interest. “From where do you hail?”  
The man said nothing, his jaw set, his silence defiant.  
The tension in the room grew thick. Even you found yourself leaning forward, curiosity mingling with unease.  
“Speak,” Geta commanded sharply. When no answer came, his impatience boiled over. “I said speak!”  
Macrinus stepped in quickly, bowing his head. “Your Majesty, he is from the colonies. His native tongue is all he understands.”  
The gladiator finally raised his head, his voice cutting through the room like a blade. “The gates of hell are open night and day; smooth the descent, and easy is the way: but to come back from hell, and view the cheerful skies, in this the task and mighty labor lies.”  
The poetry stunned you, the eloquence jarring against the brutal spectacle that had just unfolded. Around you, the room fell silent for a beat before Caracalla broke into a laugh.  
“Poetry!” the Caracalla declared, grinning as he turned to Macrinus. “Very clever, Macrinus. Very clever indeed.”  
Macrinus bowed slightly. “To amuse you is my only wish, your Majesty.”  
“We are amused,” Geta said, though his gaze remained fixed on the gladiator. His voice rose as he addressed the room. “And we all look forward to seeing your poet… perform in the arena.”  
“As do I your majesty's.” Macrinus gestured to his guard. “Viggo,” he said softly, and the guard stepped forward to escort the gladiator out of the room.  
As the crowd began to disperse, murmurs of excitement rippling through the air, you remained rooted in place. Your eyes followed the blood trail left by Vijay’s body as it was dragged away. The victor—dripping in another man’s blood, yet unbowed—disappeared through the doors, his haunting words lingering in your mind like a ghost.
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LUCILLA'S VILLA — LATE AFTERNOON
The villa of Domitia Lucilla stood as a serene contrast to the chaos of Rome—a sprawling sanctuary of pale stone walls and gardens heavy with the scent of roses and citrus. The late afternoon sun stretched shadows across the courtyard as you entered, the weariness from Senator Thraex’s debauched gathering weighing heavily on your shoulders.
Lucilla awaited you, standing poised near a column. Her cream stola shifted with the breeze, but her sharp gaze was unwavering, as if she had been expecting this moment.  
“You’ve returned,” she said, warmth in her voice tempered by the gravity of her expression.  
“I have, my lady—”  
She waved off the formalities with a flick of her wrist. “Enough with that. How many times must I tell you?”  
“Habit,” you replied with a faint smile, though it lacked its usual brightness.  
Her lips twitched with amusement, but concern quickly took its place. “And how was Senator Thraex’s gathering? As intolerable as I feared?”  
You sighed, the grotesque excess of the night flashing briefly in your mind. “More wine than wit. And blood, of course. Always blood.”  
Lucilla’s mouth tightened, her brow furrowing just enough to betray her displeasure. She stepped closer, resting a hand lightly on your shoulder. “Rome devours itself with spectacle. It leaves nothing but emptiness behind,” she murmured.  
You nodded but didn’t speak. The heaviness of her words settled heavily on you because they were true.  
“And Thraex himself?” she pressed, tilting her head.  
You hesitated. “He made his usual jabs about my… unmarried state. Feigned sympathy for my family. And spent an inordinate amount of time with Macrinus, the arms dealer. It seemed more calculated than casual.”  
Lucilla’s eyes narrowed slightly, her mind already turning. “Macrinus does not waste his time on frivolities. If Thraex is courting him, there’s more at play.”  
“Something to do with the games tomorrow, perhaps?” you suggested. “He seemed eager for them.”  
Lucilla’s lips pressed into a thin line. “It’s possible. His ambitions are endless, and I fear his alliances will be the ruin of many.”  
“Rome always finds a way to drag us into its mire,” you muttered bitterly.  
Her hand on your shoulder tightened briefly, reassuring. “Then we tread carefully. But not tonight. Tonight, we focus on what lies ahead. The senators will convene soon, and General Acacius is to join us.”  
You huffed a soft laugh, though it carried a trace of exasperation. “A grand gathering in his honor, and he doesn’t bother to attend the festivities.”  
Lucilla arched a brow, her expression turning sly. “Were you hoping he would?”  
Heat rushed to your face, and you fumbled for a response. “I—no, of course not. I just thought it odd.”  
“Mm.” Her tone was noncommittal, but her knowing smile made you glance away.  
Before you could dwell on your embarrassment, Lucilla turned down another garden path, leaving you to follow. It was there, amid the soft hum of cicadas and the golden haze of the late afternoon, that you saw him.  
Marcus Acacius sat beneath a pergola, his broad shoulders bent slightly over a parchment, a quill poised in his hand. A goblet of wine sat forgotten beside him, the scene unexpectedly tranquil for a man of his reputation.  
Lucilla glanced over her shoulder with a smirk. “It seems you’ll get your wish after all.”  
Your stomach twisted at her words, but before you could form a protest, she disappeared around the corner. Left to your own devices, you took a steadying breath and approached. The crunch of gravel underfoot drew his attention, and he looked up, his dark eyes softening as they met yours.  
“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t return,” he said, his voice low and warm, though a flicker of relief betrayed him.  
You tilted your head, folding your arms as you came closer. “And I was beginning to think you’d forgotten the party was meant for you.”  
Marcus chuckled, setting down his quill. “Crowded rooms filled with drunken senators and empty promises hold little appeal. I prefer the quiet.” He gestured to the bench across from him. “Join me?”  
For a moment, you hesitated, the unspoken tension between you filling the air. But then you sat, folding your hands neatly in your lap.  
“The games tomorrow will be particularly… extravagant,” you said, glancing at the parchment. “I’m to serve as a healer for the event.”  
His brow furrowed. “You’ll be in the arena?”  
“Not in it,” you replied quickly. “But close enough.”  
Marcus’s jaw tightened. “It’s barbaric. They celebrate death, and you’re left to mend what’s left behind.”  
“It’s Rome,” you said with a shrug, though the bitterness in your voice was unmistakable.  
“Does it not anger you?” His voice was steady but insistent, his gaze searching yours.  
You hesitated before answering. “Every day,” you admitted quietly. “But anger doesn’t heal. It doesn’t save lives.”  
His hand moved, resting near yours on the table—not touching, but close enough that the space between felt charged. “You do more than heal,” he said after a moment. “You remind us of what’s worth saving.”  
The sincerity in his words made your breath hitch. For a moment, you didn’t know what to say.  
“I only do what I can,” you said finally.  
“And it’s enough,” he replied, his voice firm.  
Silence settled between you, but it was not empty. It was heavy with questions left unasked, with the unshakable feeling that you knew him from somewhere beyond this life.  
“You’re different,” he said suddenly.  
You raised an eyebrow, half-amused. “Is that a compliment or a warning?”  
He smiled faintly. “A truth.”  
You studied him, the edges of recognition tugging at your mind. “Have we met before?”  
His hand stilled, his expression unreadable. “Why do you ask?”  
“It’s the way you look at me,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Like you know something I don’t.”  
For a long moment, he said nothing. Then, softly, “Perhaps I’m just trying to understand you.”
“And do you?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.  
For a moment, he didn’t answer. Instead, his gaze lingered on yours, as if he were searching for something—something hidden behind the words you didn’t say. His jaw tightened, and then relaxed, his hesitation drawing out the silence until it felt like the whole garden held its breath.  
The sun dipped low on the horizon, casting an amber glow across the courtyard. The scent of citrus blossoms drifted through the air, mingling with the faint tang of oil from the bronze lamps. You and Marcus sat across from each other, the heavy quiet between you punctuated by the distant hum of the city below.  
“I think,” he said finally, his voice low and measured, “that you’re not as much of a mystery as you’d like to believe.”
You said nothing, the truth of his words settling over you. He wasn’t the first to try to understand you, but he was the first whose attempt didn’t feel like an invasion. Still, you kept your silence, hoping it would shield whatever he thought he saw.  
Marcus leaned back slightly, his gaze unwavering, though his tone softened. “You wear your defiance like armor. It suits you, but…” He hesitated, as if searching for the right words. “Even armor cracks under enough weight.”
Your chest tightened. There was no judgment in his voice, just quiet understanding, and that somehow made it worse. You turned your eyes to the horizon, watching as the light bled into dusk.  
“And you?” you asked at last, your voice quiet, almost tentative. “What cracks your armor?”
He didn’t answer immediately, his jaw tightening as he looked away. For a long moment, you thought he might deflect or let the question fall unanswered. But then he sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly, the facade of the unshakable general slipping.  
“The things I’ve done,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “The wars. The lives I’ve taken. I tell myself it was duty. For Rome. For honor. But when I close my eyes…” His hand curled into a fist on the table, the scarred knuckles white with tension. “I see their faces. The ones I killed. The ones I couldn’t save. Sometimes, I think that’s all there is left of me. Blood and ghosts.”
His words hung in the air, raw and unguarded. You felt the sharp sting of his pain as if it were your own, and it stirred something deep within you—a desire not to fix him, but to let him be broken without shame.  
“There’s more to you than that,” you said softly, surprising even yourself with the conviction in your voice. “Let the brokenness be felt, Marcus, until you reach the other side. There is goodness in the heart of every broken man who comes right up to the edge of losing everything he has.”  
He looked at you then, his expression unreadable, but his eyes—those fierce, commanding eyes—betrayed a flicker of something fragile. “And if the edge is all that’s left?”  
You shook your head. “Then you find your way back. One step, one breath, one choice at a time. You’ve already come this far.”  
A faint, wry smile tugged at his lips. “You sound certain.”  
“I am,” you said simply. “Because I’ve seen it before. I’ve seen men lose everything and still find the strength to rebuild. You’ve endured so much, Marcus. And yet, here you are.”  
His gaze lingered on you, and for a moment, the air between you felt impossibly heavy, as though the weight of both your pasts had settled there. But then, something shifted—just a fraction—and the tension eased.  
“Tell me,” he said quietly, leaning forward. “How does someone like you—someone who speaks of goodness and second chances—end up in a place like this?”  
You let out a soft laugh, though it held no humor. “A long story,” you said, your tone laced with irony.  
He smiled faintly. “I’ve got time.”  
The simplicity of his statement caught you off guard. You studied him for a moment, searching for any trace of mockery, but found none. He was patient, steady, like a man who had weathered every storm and learned to endure the waiting.  
You hesitated, then began to speak—not all at once, but in fragments. You told him of the choices that had brought you here, the moments of defiance and loss that had shaped you. He listened without interrupting, his focus unbroken, as though each word mattered.  
When the story faltered and the silence crept back in, Marcus spoke again, his voice gentle. “You’ve carried much on your shoulders.”  
You shrugged, your gaze fixed on the table. “Haven’t we all?”  
He nodded, a faint smile playing at his lips. “Perhaps. But not everyone carries it as well as you.”  
The compliment startled you, and you looked up to find him watching you with something like admiration. It wasn’t romantic, not yet—but it was real, and it unsettled you in a way you couldn’t quite name.  
“You don’t know me well enough to say that,” you said, though your voice lacked its usual bite.  
“Not yet,” he agreed. “But I’d like to.”  
Something in his tone—a quiet sincerity, unadorned by pretense—made you pause. You realized, with a small jolt, that you wanted to know him, too. Not just the general, but the man beneath the armor.  
“Maybe,” you said finally, a faint smile tugging at your lips. “If you’re patient.”  
His smile widened, just a little, and for the first time, you saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “I’ve learned to be patient,” he said. “For the right things.”  
And as the night deepened and the stars began to dot the sky, you found yourself wondering if, perhaps, this was one of them.
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The room was dark, the faint glow of torchlight from the grilled window casting long, flickering shadows on the walls. Lucilla stood beside you, her sharp eyes trained on the guards below as they exchanged shifts. She watched silently, her body tense but still, until the last of them disappeared around the corner.  
With a soft sigh, she turned back into the room and extinguished the candles one by one. The light died away, replaced by the cover of darkness. Outside, a guard’s voice called up, noting that she must be retiring for the evening.  
You remained quiet, holding the lamp as Lucilla adjusted her robes and pulled up the hood, the fabric obscuring her features. The air felt heavier now, laden with unspoken tension. She glanced at you, her gaze sharp even in the dim light.  
“Are you ready?” she asked, her voice a low murmur.  
You nodded and pulled your own hood over your head. The warmth of the lamp in your hand was a small comfort against the chill of the night.  
Lucilla stepped closer, her hands gripping your forearm briefly as she said your name. “You must know,” she said, her voice quiet but firm, “if you do this with us, there is a possibility that we may be discovered. And the penalties—”  
“I’m aware,” you interrupted gently, meeting her gaze. There was no hesitation in your voice.  
She studied you for a moment longer, then nodded, a faint flicker of respect passing over her features. Without another word, she turned toward a small shrine tucked into the corner of the room.  
Kneeling, she rolled back a slab of marble with deliberate care, revealing a narrow passage that led downward. The air that seeped out was cool and damp, smelling faintly of earth and stone.  
Lucilla motioned for you to follow, and you descended after her, the spiral staircase winding tightly into the depths. Your lamp cast shifting shadows on the walls, and the faint echoes of your footsteps seemed louder than they should have been.  
The tunnel at the bottom was carved with care, though the stone showed its age. Lucilla moved through it with practiced ease, her robes brushing against the walls as the passage widened and opened into a massive underground catacomb.  
You stopped short, your breath catching at the sight. The vaulted ceilings arched high above you, their grandeur almost otherworldly. This place was built for eternity, every detail a testament to early Roman splendor. Statues of gods and long-dead ancestors stood sentinel, their marble faces solemn in the lamplight.  
Lucilla’s steps slowed as she approached a series of crypts. Each one was marked with the bust of a family member, their likenesses carved into the stone. She stopped before the bust of Marcus Aurelius, her father, and laid a hand on its smooth surface.  
“Father,” she whispered, her voice tinged with both reverence and sorrow, “protect us and guide us.” Her fingers lingered for a moment before she turned away, her expression unreadable.  
You wanted to say something, to break the silence, but the words escaped you. There was a sacredness here that felt unshakable, a weight you couldn’t quite explain.  
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ANTECHAMBER — MINUTES LATER  
The air in the antechamber felt thick, like the weight of centuries pressed down upon you all. Torches lined the stone walls, their flickering light casting wavering shadows on faces lined with tension and purpose. The damp chill of the underground space only added to the solemnity of the moment.  
Lucilla moved forward with practiced grace, her head held high despite the gravity of the meeting. The first man stepped into the torchlight, his wiry frame and sharp features softened only by the faint trace of a smile.  
“Gracchus,” Lucilla said warmly, extending her hands. “Old friend.”  
Gracchus clasped her hands briefly, his grip conveying both respect and concern. “My lady. I wish we were meeting in better times.”  
Lucilla’s lips curved into a faint smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “The sun shone once—it will shine again.”  
Gracchus raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth quirking into a sardonic smirk. “And what in heaven’s name does that mean?”  
Before Lucilla could answer, a low, resonant voice emerged from the shadows. “It means hope, Gracchus.”  
You started slightly, your heart skipping as a figure stepped forward. Marcus Acacius. The flickering light caught the edges of his armor, making it gleam like liquid fire. His presence filled the room effortlessly, his broad frame and steady gaze commanding attention.  
Gracchus let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “Oh yes. He is shiny.”  
Marcus didn’t react to the jest, but his eyes flicked between Lucilla and Gracchus before settling briefly on you. His gaze held for a beat too long, making your pulse quicken.  
“Did I startle you?” he asked, his tone smooth but edged with faint amusement.  
You straightened, tightening your grip on the lamp you carried. “Not at all,” you said, though your voice betrayed you.  
The faintest hint of a smile touched his lips, but he turned his attention back to Gracchus, his expression growing serious. “We want to take back the city. To restore Rome to what it should be.”  
Gracchus’s expression darkened, doubt creeping into his voice. “An exciting venture. When?”  
“On the final day of the games,” Marcus replied firmly.  
Gracchus raised a skeptical brow. “How?”  
Marcus’s jaw tightened, the tension clear as he measured his words. “My army waits for my command at Ostia. Five thousand soldiers loyal to me will enter Rome. I intend to arrest our emperors in front of the crowds at the Colosseum for their crimes against the Senate and the people.”  
A long, heavy silence followed. Gracchus exchanged a wary glance with Thraex, who stood silently in the background. The two senators appeared burdened with years of cynicism, the spark of belief long extinguished.  
Lucilla broke the quiet, her voice sharp and resolute. “We cannot continue to see Rome damaged, sliding further into corruption and decay.”  
Thraex snorted softly, folding his arms. “Does he want to be Emperor?”  
Marcus’s gaze sharpened as he shook his head. “I am a soldier, not a politician. Rome will be yours to administer and—”  
Gracchus interrupted him, his tone cutting. “Your father spoke of returning power to the Senate. But that was a generation ago. Much has changed. The people haven’t seen hope for years, and—”  
This time, Marcus’s voice rose slightly, his frustration bleeding through. “Rome is not yet ready to be a republic, but with time—and guidance—a vote by the people, for the people, would mean—”  
Lucilla placed a steady hand on Marcus’s arm, quieting him. She turned to Gracchus, her voice calmer but no less determined. “Rome can live again. Do we have your support, Gracchus?”  
Gracchus hesitated, his gaze shifting to you, then back to Marcus. Finally, he nodded slowly, his voice soft. “Lucilla, you are the daughter of Marcus Aurelius. He had my loyalty, and so do you.”  
Lucilla allowed herself a small smile. “A political answer, but good enough. Senator Thraex?”  
Thraex hesitated, his eyes flickering to you. He seemed to brace himself before speaking. “Politics follows power, my lady. Take back what is rightfully yours, and the Senate will support you.”  
The room seemed to exhale as the senators gave their tentative agreement, but Gracchus’s gaze lingered on you. His voice softened. “I vowed to your parents I would take care of you. To give you a life beyond this... chaos.”  
Your grip on the lamp tightened as you met his gaze, your voice steady despite the turmoil in your chest. “There is no point in life if the future of Rome is nothing but an abuse of power and position.”  
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Marcus’s expression shift. His gaze rested on you, his brow furrowing slightly, as if he were seeing you in a new light.  
The torches flickered, their flames casting light on faces filled with determination and shadows that hinted at the dangerous road ahead. You glanced at Marcus once more, and his eyes caught yours, a faint, unspoken understanding passing between you.  
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THE COLOSSEUM — DAY
The air around the Colosseum is alive with a chaotic energy that hums through the sprawling crowd. The great amphitheater towers above, its shadow sprawling across the dusty streets. Vendors shout over one another, selling honeyed dates, roasted nuts, and cheap wine. Children dart between the throngs, their quick fingers snatching at coin purses while wide-eyed newcomers marvel at the spectacle before them.  
As you approach the towering Capitoline Arch, your eyes lift to the imposing statue of General Marcus Acacius atop a marble plinth. The sunlight gleams off the bronze plaque beneath, bearing the inscription: ACACIUS, VICTOR AFRICAE.  
You pause, a faint sigh escaping your lips as you take it in. The statue is majestic, carved with precision to capture his strength and valor, but there’s something about its stillness, its perfection, that feels wrong. The man you’ve come to know is far more complicated than the warrior immortalized in marble.  
Pulling your hood closer to shield yourself from prying eyes, you make your way toward the entrance of the Colosseum.  
Outside the massive arena, the crowd is dense, funneling into the arched entrances like water forced through narrow channels. The scent of sweat, baked bread, and dust clings to the air.  
A wagon lumbers past, its wheels creaking as it pulls into the rear gates of the Colosseum. The iron gates groan shut behind it with a finality that makes you shiver.  
Your eyes catch on one of the gladiators stepping down from the wagon. He is broad-shouldered, with a grim expression and scars that tell stories of survival. Recognition flickers in your mind—he was at Senator Thraex’s gathering, one of Macrinus’ men.  
For a moment, his gaze meets yours, sharp and searching. You quickly turn away, the weight of his stare lingering like a brand on your skin.  
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COLOSSEUM UNDERCROFT — DAY  
The undercroft is a world unto itself, hidden beneath the grandeur of the arena above. The air here is damp and stale, filled with the mingled scents of blood, sweat, and the earthy musk of the animals kept for the games. Torches line the stone walls, their flames barely cutting through the heavy gloom.  
You step carefully, the hem of your robe brushing against the uneven stones beneath your feet. Around you, the sounds of preparation echo—metallic clangs of swords being sharpened, the low murmur of prayers whispered by gladiators, and the distant roar of the crowd above, a constant reminder of what waits beyond.  
A sudden shout breaks through the noise, and you flinch instinctively, your hand tightening around the lamp you carry.  
“Keep moving!” A guard barks, shoving a gladiator forward.  
You press yourself against the wall to let them pass, your eyes following the line of chained men as they march toward their fate. The air feels heavier here, thick with despair and the metallic tang of blood that never quite fades from the stone.  
The main chamber opens ahead, a cavernous space carved from the bedrock, with a stone memorial spanning two centuries etched into one of the walls. The names carved there seem endless, a testament to the lives given—or taken—beneath this roof.  
You step into the room, your eyes searching for Ravi, the healer who has been your closest ally in this grim underworld. He is leaning over a battered table, his thick canvas coat bristling with the tools of his trade—scalpels, needles, and small bottles of tinctures.  
Ravi glances up as you approach, his dark eyes meeting yours. He nods, his expression weary but kind. “You’re late,” he says, his tone more teasing than reproachful.  
“I was delayed,” you reply, setting the lamp down on the edge of the table.  
Ravi straightens, his hands covered in the telltale stains of his work. “Delayed by a statue, no doubt,” he says with a smirk, nodding toward the hallway you came from.  
You sigh, rolling your eyes. “Not just the statue. The entire crowd outside could rival an army.”  
He chuckles softly, but his humor fades as his gaze shifts to the tools laid out before him. “It’s a mad world out there. And in here. They’ll call it glory, but we know better, don’t we?”  
You nod, your fingers brushing against one of the bottles of tincture on the table. “How many today?”  
“Too many,” Ravi replies grimly. “It always is. But if we don’t patch them up, they’ll be thrown back into the arena like lambs to the slaughter.”  
You glance toward the memorial wall, the endless names a stark reminder of what happens when healing is no longer enough. “And yet they cheer,” you say softly, more to yourself than to him.  
Ravi follows your gaze, his expression hardening. “They cheer because they’re too far away to hear the screams. From up there, it’s just a show.”  
A heavy silence falls between you, the weight of his words settling in the space like a tangible presence.  
Finally, Ravi breaks it, his voice quieter now. “You could have been anywhere. A villa in the hills, a proper clinic, somewhere far from all of this. Why here?”  
You meet his gaze, your voice steady despite the ache in your chest. “Because someone has to be.”  
Before Ravi can respond, the distant blare of a cornu horn echoes through the chamber, its mournful call summoning the combatants to the arena.  
Ravi exhales, shaking his head. “That’s our cue.”  
You nod, grabbing the lamp and turning toward the corridor. “Let’s hope today isn’t worse than the last.”  
Ravi follows, his canvas coat swaying as he moves. “Hope’s in short supply here,” he mutters. But then, as if to lighten the mood, he adds, “But if anyone can keep these bastards alive, it’s us.”  
A faint smile pulls at your lips as the two of you head toward the chaos waiting above. The sound of the horn grows louder, blending with the roar of the crowd—a noise as relentless as the tide.
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The roar of the Colosseum was muffled slightly where you and Ravi stood in the shadow of the lower arches, but the sight above was impossible to ignore. Caracalla and Geta had already taken their places in the royal seats, their expressions imperious yet lacking true command. The crowd’s response to their arrival was lukewarm, tepid applause barely rippling through the masses.  
Ravi glanced at you, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “They can’t even fake enthusiasm for their own Emperors. Telling, isn’t it?”  
You nodded grimly, shifting your gaze to the arena floor where the fight’s Master of Ceremonies stood, clearly tense. He gestured sharply to the musicians, prompting them to play a fanfare in a desperate attempt to rouse the audience.  
Through the giant copper horn mounted on a stand, his voice bellowed, “Citizens of Rome! These sacred games are held to honor the victory of Rome over the barbarians of Numidia—”  
You winced at the crude remark, the words cutting through the air with their arrogance.  
“And to honor Rome's legionary commander, General Justus Acacius!”  
At the mention of Acacius, your eyes instinctively sought him out. There he was, emerging in white and gold, a gleaming figure against the harsh backdrop of the Colosseum. His presence was magnetic, commanding without effort. He moved with the same purpose he always did, though you could sense a tension in his posture, a reluctance masked by the pageantry.  
Lucilla followed close behind him, her chin lifted with practiced grace. When the Master of Ceremonies announced her name—“Lucilla, the daughter of Emperor Marcus Aurelius!”—the crowd erupted into thunderous applause, a stark contrast to their earlier indifference.  
Beside you, Ravi let out a low whistle. “They still adore her.”  
“They always will,” you murmured, watching as she ascended to the royal seats under the guise of honor, though you knew better. The two Centurions flanking her were not mere escorts but guards, a subtle display of control that would escape the average onlooker.  
From this distance, it seemed she embraced the accolades, her every gesture perfectly measured. But you caught the slight flicker in her expression when she glanced toward Acacius.  
“You honor us with your presence. Speak to the plebeians, Acacius,” Geta commanded, his tone laced with condescension.  
You held your breath, sensing the reluctance in Marcus’s stillness. He exchanged a look with Lucilla, brief but telling, before his gaze swept across the crowd, searching. When his eyes found yours, something in his demeanor shifted—resolve, perhaps, or a need for grounding.  
Finally, he rose, stepping to the railing as the crowd quieted, anticipation thick in the air. His voice, deep and steady, carried over the expanse with ease.  
“I am not an orator, nor a politician,” he began, the simplicity of his words a sharp contrast to the pomp surrounding him. “I am only a soldier. Real heroism is not the stuff of games.”  
A murmur rippled through the crowd, confusion and intrigue mingling as Acacius’s words sank in.  
“It reveals itself to us only in the service of life itself,” he continued, his gaze unwavering. “I have seen bravery in men during war, and from women, too—bravery that does not falter in the face of fear but rises to meet it. And even, once, in this arena.”  
Your breath hitched, the weight of his words pressing against you. Though his gaze never left the crowd, you felt as though those words were for you alone.  
“If you pray,” Marcus’s voice deepened, his tone almost pleading, “pray that the gods will deliver us bravery like that. Because Rome needs it now.”  
The silence that followed was profound, the kind that held more weight than applause. Then, slowly, the crowd erupted, their cheers cascading through the Colosseum like a wave.  
You watched him step back from the railing, his expression inscrutable as he returned to his seat. But as the applause thundered on, his eyes found yours again, and in that brief moment, you saw it—something unspoken yet unmistakable.  
Ravi nudged you gently, breaking the spell. “He’s good, I’ll give him that.”  
You nodded, your heart still pounding. “Better than they deserve,” you said softly, though your thoughts were far from the Emperors.
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The tension in the Colosseum was recognized as the opening ceremony came to an end. Caracalla and Geta clapped from their royal seats, their applause mechanical and devoid of genuine enthusiasm. Below, the Master of Ceremonies stood nervously, his voice amplified by the great copper horn.  
“From the South Gate... fighters from the stable of Macrinus of Thysdrus!”  
Your gaze darted to the southern entrance, where the gladiators emerged into the blinding sunlight. You recognized one of them—Hanno of Numidia—whose name Ravi had told you earlier. The crowd greeted them with scattered boos and jeers, a stark contrast to the grandeur of the arena itself.  
Hanno walked with measured steps, his expression stoic as he led the small group to the center of the arena. His shoulders bore the weight of more than just the armor; you could see it in his eyes.  
“And from the stables of our Emperors Caracalla and Geta themselves: Glyceo the Destroyer!”  
The eastern gates creaked open, revealing a towering figure clad in ornate armor, seated atop a great white rhino. The crowd erupted in frenzied cheers, the noise reverberating through the stone walls. The rhino trotted with surprising agility, its hooves kicking up clouds of dust as it carried Glyceo with the ease of a seasoned warrior.  
From your vantage point, you saw the glint of weapons strapped to the rhino’s side—an axe, a sword, a mace, and a bola. Glyceo reached for the mace, gripping its heavy handle with a confidence born from countless victories.  
The first gladiator dared to challenge the beast, stepping forward with his sword raised. He attempted to dodge the rhino’s charge at the last moment, but the creature’s speed and precision were unmatched. The horn struck him with brutal force, sending him flying across the arena before the rhino finished him off with a savage thrust.  
Your stomach churned as the body was tossed aside like a ragdoll. The crowd’s cheers only grew louder.  
Hanno stood still, his gaze fixed on the carnage. Then, almost imperceptibly, he crouched and scooped a handful of sand from the arena floor, letting it sift through his fingers. The gesture was hauntingly familiar—a ritual Maximus had performed before every fight.  
Beside you, Ravi murmured, “Do you see that? He remembers.”  
You glanced at Lucilla in the royal box, noting the flicker of something in her expression—recognition, perhaps, or sorrow. But she quickly masked it, her face hardening as she turned back to the arena.  
The rhino charged again, this time with Glyceo’s mace raised high. Hanno sidestepped at the last possible moment, but the rhino’s horn clipped him, sending him sprawling. Dust clouded the air as the beast wheeled around, disoriented by the sunlight.  
Hanno was quick to act. He flung the remaining sand into the air, creating a bright, blinding curtain that obscured his movements. The rhino charged again, unable to see clearly, and slammed full force into the arena wall. Glyceo was thrown like a ragdoll, his body hitting the stone with a sickening thud.  
The rhino staggered, its massive frame reeling as it struggled to regain its footing. Hanno retrieved his sword and advanced on Glyceo, who was already scrambling to his feet. Their blades met in a clash of steel, sparks flying as Glyceo’s superior strength began to overwhelm Hanno.  
You leaned forward, gripping the stone railing as Glyceo delivered a brutal series of blows, forcing Hanno to his knees. The crowd chanted, their bloodlust palpable.  
Lucilla gasped, turning away, her hand trembling as it gripped the edge of her seat. Even Macrinus, who had been watching with a calculating gaze, shook his head slightly.  
Glyceo raised his short sword, poised to deliver the final blow. He paused, turning to the royal box for approval.  
“Shall we spare his life, brother?” Geta asked, his tone mockingly casual.  
Caracalla shrugged, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “I wouldn’t mind seeing some blood.”  
Geta ignored him, his attention shifting to Lucilla. “Lucilla, shall we show mercy?”  
Lucilla hesitated, her voice trembling. “Mercy.” The word was barely audible, choked with guilt and something deeper.  
Geta stood, raising his fist. The crowd fell silent, holding their breath as he slowly extended his thumb upward, granting Hanno his life. The Colosseum erupted in cheers, but the celebration was short-lived.  
“No,” Hanno said, his voice cutting through the noise like a blade.  
The crowd stilled, murmurs of confusion rippling through the stands.  
“No mercy,” he repeated, his tone resolute.  
Geta’s face twisted in disbelief. “Gladiator, we have spared your life. No one refuses—”  
“I will not accept mercy,” Hanno interrupted, rising to his feet despite the blood dripping from his wounds. He turned to the royal box, his gaze unwavering. “I would sooner face your blade than accept Roman mercy.”  
The crowd erupted in chaos—laughter, jeers, and shouts of encouragement mingling in a cacophony of sound.  
“Fight on, then, fool, and die,” Geta spat, his face reddening with embarrassment.  
Glyceo lunged, his mace swinging in a wide arc. Hanno ducked, his movements fueled by desperation and fury. With a final burst of strength, he seized his fallen short sword and drove it into Glyceo’s abdomen. The mighty gladiator staggered, his expression one of shock before he collapsed, lifeless, into the sand.  
The crowd roared its approval, chanting Hanno’s name as he stood victorious. From the royal box, Macrinus smiled, his eyes gleaming with intrigue. You couldn’t help but watch Hanno with a mixture of awe and apprehension, your heart pounding as the weight of the moment settled over the arena.  
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COLOSSEUM HOSPITAL ROOM — NIGHT
The dim light of flickering oil lamps cast wavering shadows on the rough stone walls of the makeshift infirmary. The smell of blood, sweat, and burnt herbs clung to the air like a heavy shroud. Ravi moved methodically among the injured, tending to other gladiators with a calm, steady hand.
You were left alone with Hanno. He sat on a wooden stool, his posture tense despite the exhaustion etched into his features. A deep, jagged wound marred his upper arm, the torn flesh angry and raw. Mosquitoes buzzed around him, drawn to the scent of blood and sweat.
You crouched beside him, your hands deftly inspecting the wound. “This needs to be cleaned and stitched up,” you murmured, glancing up at him briefly. His eyes met yours, dark and unreadable.
He broke the silence. “What’s your name?”
You paused, meeting his gaze again as you answered, giving your name. You nodded toward the other side of the room. “That man over there is Ravi. We’re both doctors—or as close to it as you’ll get here. More men die of infected wounds than in the arena itself.”
Hanno tilted his head slightly, watching you as you prepared the tools of your trade. “This is going to hurt,” you added, your tone both matter-of-fact and soft.
You handed him a small pipe, its carved edges worn smooth from use.
“What’s this?” he asked, examining it with mild suspicion.
“Devil’s breath and opium,” you explained. “For the pain. Breathe it in.”
Hanno hesitated for only a moment before placing the pipe between his lips. He inhaled deeply, his expression neutral as the sharp, bitter taste hit his tongue. Slowly, his eyes fluttered shut, and his breathing steadied.
“The effects are different for us all,” you said gently, noting the way his features softened, the tension in his shoulders easing.
When his eyes opened again, they were hazy, unfocused. “Your voice…” he muttered, blinking at you as if trying to place something familiar.
“What about it?” you asked with a small smile, distracting him as you began cleaning the wound.
“It’s… nice,” he replied, his words slow and slightly slurred. “Kind.”
You gave a soft chuckle, focusing on the task at hand. “Don’t get used to it. This part isn’t going to feel so kind.”
He took another draw of the pipe just as you began stitching the torn flesh with catgut. The needle pierced his skin, and he hissed through clenched teeth, coughing as a puff of opium-laden smoke escaped his lips and drifted into the air between you.
“Where’d you learn your trade?” he asked, his voice rough but steady.
You kept your focus on the stitches, your hands moving with practiced precision. “Why do you ask?”
“You’ve got a light hand,” he said, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
You glanced up briefly, the corners of your lips quirking. “You don’t strike me as someone who hands out compliments easily.”
The faint flicker of the oil lamp threw warm shadows across the stone walls of the infirmary. The low hum of muffled groans and whispered prayers filled the air, mixing with the faint metallic tang of blood and herbs. His dark eyes, hazy from the drug, remained fixed on you as you worked.  
“I don’t,” he murmured, his voice soft and slow. “But I’ve had enough wounds stitched up to know the difference between butchery and care.”  
The corners of your lips quirked upward, and a soft chuckle escaped you. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”  
“It is,” he said, his tone unusually earnest.  
Your laugh echoed softly in the quiet room, and his lips curved in response. Hanno was inebriated now—high on the devil’s breath and opium. He looked at you, his gaze almost childlike in its wonder, as if the haze had stripped away some of the weight he carried.  
“What we do in life echoes in eternity,” you said suddenly, your voice a mix of reverence and melancholy.  
The words hung in the air, timeless and heavy. You paused, your fingers stilling over the bandage.  
Hanno blinked, as if chasing a memory. “I feel I know those words…”  
You smiled faintly, your eyes meeting his. “I can’t take credit for them. They’re written on a tomb here, over the bones of a gladiator.”  
He let the words sink in, his gaze distant but thoughtful. You returned to your work, your hands moving with practiced precision as you tied off the final stitch and smoothed the bandage over his wound.  
“There,” you said, leaning back to admire your handiwork. “I think that should hold.”  
Hanno’s eyes drifted to his arm. He reached out, almost absently, and ran his fingers across the crude stitches. His touch was featherlight, as if testing the reality of it.  
You stood, gathering your tools and reaching for the pipe still clutched in his hand. But before you could take it, he brought it to his lips again, inhaling deeply. The motion was slow and deliberate, his dark eyes fixed on you through the curling smoke.  
You paused, watching him, but said nothing. After a moment, you gave a small nod and turned back to pack away the rest of your supplies.  
“Why did you let me take another hit?” he asked suddenly, his voice softer now, as if the opium was tugging him toward vulnerability.  
You glanced over your shoulder, your expression unreadable. “Because sometimes, we need the pain to go quiet for a while.”  
Hanno held your gaze for a long moment, his lips curving into a faint, lopsided smile. “You understand more than most,” he said quietly.  
You didn’t respond, but the weight of his words lingered. As you turned back to your work, his voice broke the silence again, softer this time.  
He said your name a tender echo in the quiet room. “Do you believe it?”  
“Believe what?” you asked, not turning around.  
“That what we do in life echoes in eternity.”  
You stilled, your hands tightening slightly around your tools. Finally, you turned to face him, your expression thoughtful. “I think… the choices we make, the lives we touch—they ripple outward. Whether it’s eternity or just a fleeting moment, I think it matters.”  
Hanno’s gaze didn’t waver, even through the haze of the drug. “You matter,” he said, his voice low but steady.  
The words hit you harder than you expected, and for a moment, you could only stare at him. He wasn’t smiling, wasn’t teasing. He meant it.  
Your throat tightened, but you forced a small smile. “Rest now, Hanno. You’ll need your strength.”  
He didn’t protest, but his eyes lingered on you as you turned away, your heart inexplicably heavier and lighter all at once.
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LUCILLA’S VILLA – EVENING  
The villa shimmered under the moonlight, its alabaster walls soaking in the silver glow. Marble columns cast long shadows across the flagstones, and the air hummed with the gentle chorus of cicadas. Somewhere in the gardens, the delicate aroma of night-blooming jasmine mingled with the faint tang of the sea breeze.  
You stood at the edge of the terrace, a delicate glass of spiced wine cradled between your fingers. The cool air kissed your skin, but it couldn’t chase away the heat simmering beneath—an ache born of exhaustion, frustration, and something you dared not name. The day had unraveled like a tragedy, the gods watching with cruel amusement as you struggled to hold it together.  
Behind you, the sound of soft footfalls broke the stillness.  
“You stand there as though the weight of Rome rests on your shoulders,” a voice drawled, smooth and familiar.  
You turned, finding Lucilla leaning against the stone archway, her golden hair catching the light of the lanterns flickering nearby. She regarded you with a mixture of curiosity and knowing—Lucilla had a way of reading people like scrolls, unrolling their secrets with unnerving ease.  
“Does it not?” you replied, attempting a wry smile, though it faltered before it could fully form.  
Lucilla stepped closer, her movements fluid, regal. “Rome’s weight has crushed stronger people than us,” she said softly, joining you at the balustrade. “The key is learning when to carry it—and when to set it down.”  
You scoffed, swirling the wine in your glass. “And how often do you set it down?”  
Her lips curved into a faint smile. “Far less than I should.” She glanced at you from the corner of her eye. “But I’m not the one standing out here, staring at the stars as though they hold the answers.”  
The faint humor in her tone was a lifeline, grounding you. “If the stars do have answers, they’re not sharing them with me,” you muttered, shaking your head.  
Lucilla’s expression softened, and she reached out, placing a hand lightly on your arm. “The answers aren’t in the stars,” she said. “They’re in here.” She tapped lightly against your chest, her gaze unwavering. “You’ve already carried so much. Don’t forget you’re allowed to put it down—just for a while.”  
Her words settled over you like a balm, and for a moment, the tension in your chest eased. You opened your mouth to respond, but the sound of distant laughter interrupted, drawing both your gazes toward the villa’s golden glow.  
Lucilla sighed, stepping back. “The night calls,” she said, her tone laced with resignation. “Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight, Lucilla,” you replied, watching as she disappeared into the shadows of the villa, her presence leaving an unspoken promise of strength in its wake.  
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The door clicked shut behind you, sealing off the night’s hum. You exhaled, leaning against the wood, letting the day’s exhaustion seep into your bones. But the solace was short-lived.  
“Finally,” a low, gravelly voice murmured from the shadows.  
You startled, your hand flying to your chest. “Marcus!” you hissed, your heart pounding. “What are you doing here?”  
He stepped forward, his broad frame illuminated by the flickering lantern light. His tunic was slightly disheveled, and his dark curls fell across his brow, softening the hard planes of his face. Yet his eyes—those piercing eyes—held a fire that made it impossible to look away.  
“I couldn’t stay away,” he admitted, his voice low and rough. “Not tonight.”  
You crossed your arms, more to steady yourself than to rebuff him. “And you thought sneaking into my quarters was the solution?”  
Marcus’s lips quirked into a faint smirk, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “You’ve been on my mind all evening,” he said simply, the weight of his confession hanging between you. “Do you know how maddening it is? Seeing you, hearing you, but never being close enough?”  
Your breath caught, and you shook your head, trying to keep your composure. “Marcus, this—whatever this is—it's dangerous. You know that.”  
“Danger is nothing new to me,” he said, stepping closer. His presence was magnetic, and you found yourself rooted in place as he closed the distance between you.  
“Marcus…” you began, but your voice faltered as his fingers brushed against yours, tentative and fleeting.  
“Tell me to leave,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “And I will. But if you don’t—”  
The unspoken promise in his words sent a shiver racing down your spine. You opened your mouth to protest, but instead, you found yourself tilting your face toward his touch as his hand cupped your cheek.  
“I’ve seen you fight for others, care for them,” he said softly, his thumb tracing a gentle line along your jaw. “Let me fight for you. Let me care for you.”  
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, unbidden and unwelcome. “You don’t understand what you’re asking,” you said, your voice trembling.  
“I do,” he countered, his forehead nearly touching yours. “And I’m asking anyway.”  
His breath was warm against your lips, and before you could stop yourself, you closed the distance, your mouth meeting his in a kiss that was equal parts desperation and surrender.  
The world fell away in that moment, the chaos and the danger replaced by the warmth of his embrace. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, his lips moving against yours with a fervor that left you breathless.  
You pulled back, your chest heaving, your hands clutching the fabric of his tunic. “This doesn’t make the world any less dangerous,” you said, your voice barely audible.  
“No,” he agreed, his gaze locked on yours. “But I’d burn the world to ash just to feel the heat of you.”  
His words sent a shiver through you, a dangerous mix of devotion and desire. And as he kissed you again, softer this time, you realized that perhaps the fire he promised wasn’t something to fear—but something you’d already been consumed by.  
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anonymousewrites · 1 year ago
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A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Twelve
Kusuo Saiki x Reader
Chapter Twelve: Insecurities and Sweets
Summary: Saiki has to unfortunately deal with his crush, now, and (Y/N) is not helping.
            “I’m super nervous to go out…” said Yumehara, pulling her towel tighter around herself.
            “Don’t worry, Yumehara, you should just have fun!” said (Y/N), patting her shoulder.
            “That’s fine for you to say, you look amazing!” cried Yumehara.
            “And you look lovely,” said (Y/N). “Right, Teruhashi?”
            “Of course,” said Teruhashi, smiling brightly. “Don’t worry, Yumehara. You look great.”
            Yumehara sighed and buried herself deeper in her towel. “Just go on without me.”
            “Are you sure?” said (Y/N), concerned for their friend. They sat down on the bench beside Yumehara while Teruhashi started walking outside. “I can wait for you and go out with you if you’d feel better.
            “Well…” Yumehara trailed off as applause started outside the changing room.
            Teruhashi had exited in her pale blue bikini and swim-skirt. “Thanks for waiting!” she said.
            The people watching her nearly exploded at her appearance and continued to cheer and clap for quite some time all along the beach.
            “Sorry, I had a hard time finding a locker and got caught up talking to Yumehara and (L/N),” said Teruhashi, walking up to Saiki, Kaidou, and Nendou.
            “No worries! We didn’t wait at all,” exclaimed Nendou nervously as he blushed.
            “That’s right! No worries!” squeaked Kaidou, struggling to get out words.
            Saiki said nothing.
            Teruhashi’s eyebrow twitched. Tsk. So this level of skin exposure won’t get Saiki to say “oh, wow!” huh?! “Well, then, shall we go? Everyone’s waiting, right?”
            “Well, (L/N), Yumehara, and Mera aren’t here yet,” said Kaidou, and Saiki nodded.
            “Oh, right, Yumehara is having some trouble…but (L/N) was with her, so they should be out soon,” said Teruhashi.
            Inside the changing room, Yumehara was still cowering. “I can’t go out there after Kokomi…” she said.
            “Come on, Mera and I will go out with you,” said (Y/N). They smiled. “I promise, it will all be alright.”
            “Right!” said Yumehara, summoning her courage. “I look great, and my swimsuit is perfect!”
            “That’s the spirit,” said (Y/N) encouragingly. “Come on, Mera.”
            “Coming!” said Mera.
            All three walked towards the entrance of the changing room and entered the sunlight.
            “Thanks for waiting!” said Yumehara, smiling cutely. “I had some trouble finding my towel.”
            No reaction from anyone, it was just a regular day despite her yellow swimsuit.
            What?! They made it an ordinary scene? Come on, couldn’t you do anything special since it isn’t the anime! Yumehara huffed. At least Chisato and (Y/N)—
            “Sorry about that! I’m here,” said Mera. She fiddled with the straps of her school-issued swim uniform. “My swimsuit is a bit small, so I had trouble putting it on.” She smiled, and the boys watching widened their eyes as the usually quiet and unassuming girl was transformed (for them, Mera was always cute) into someone special.
            Mera gets a whole sentence about her?! I got two words, “yellow swimsuit!” thought Yumehara. She sighed. At least (Y/N)’s been nice about this whole thing—
            “Wow, (L/N), you look great!” said Kaidou, smiling.
            “Hey, pinky, you’re wearing pink!” said Nendou.
            “Thanks, guys,” said (Y/N), smiling. “I thought it would be fun to wear a feminine swim costume on the trip instead of my usual shorts and t-shirt.”
            Indeed, while in the last beach scene they’d worn a men’s swim shirt and swim trunks, this time (Y/N) wore a pink two-piece, with a sporty, pale pink top and bottoms. The straps were red, and strawberries were printed over the fabric. It was a very sweet outfit and very (Y/N)-esque.
            Yumehara’s jaw dropped open. Not only did (Y/N) get a whole paragraph to their outfit, the sun was also falling on them in the perfect way to highlight their figure and make them glow with warmth and sweetness.
            That’s fine! As long as I can see Saiki’s reaction, I’ll be okay! Yumehara turned towards Saiki.
            He was looking directly at (Y/N).
            “Strawberries. Nice.” That was all Saiki could manage.
            After the realization he’d had at the aquarium, Saiki had shut down for the entire bus ride to the beach. It had taken a very, very long time to process that. Apparently, having feelings were a worse blow to him than discovering he had Saiki powers had been to (Y/N).
            And now Saiki had to see them in a cute outfit? Yes, Saiki wasn’t one to care about appearances—and even if he did, he thought (Y/N) looked nice all the time—but after his realization, he was noticing way too much about them. And, unfortunately for him and his sanity, he was noticing that he associated (Y/N) with sweetness and strawberries were sweet and that was cute and—
            “Thanks!” said (Y/N), smiling warmly.
            Yare yare.
            Next Saiki was stuck thinking about their smile, but we won’t write a paragraph on that to spare him and give him some of his dignity.
l
            While her friends hung out in the water, Yumehara curled up in her towel, confidence unfortunately destroyed again.
            Okay, fine, it’s over. My school trip is over, okay? she thought despondently.
            “Oh? Aren’t you gonna swim?” asked Kaidou.
            “No, I don’t feel good, so…” Yumehara trailed off.
            (Y/N) frowned from where they were standing in the water. “I wish I could help her confidence…”
            “She’s recovered before,” said Saiki.
            “In other words, you can’t swim, right?” teased Yumehara, having started talking to Kaidou (he had gone into a tirade about being cursed by Dark Reunion).
            Kaidou, poor thing, turned bright red. “Th-Th-That’s not true!”
            Did he blush when he saw my swimsuit?! He did, didn’t he?! Yumehara brightened triumphantly. He’s even looking away! So cute!
            “Wow, she’s already recovered,” said (Y/N), smiling.
            “She thinks he thought she was cute,” said Saiki.
            “Whatever works,” chirped (Y/N). “As long as she cheers up, that’s good.”
            “Kaidou!” called Teruhashi, running up. “Did you see a ball come this way?”
            “N-N-No, I didn’t!” squeaked Kaidou, overwhelmed. He rolled backwards in panic.
            He rolled backwards three times?! Poor Yumehara’s confidence took another blow. I can’t believe how much of a difference there was in his reaction…
            Saiki furrowed his brow in irritation. (Y/N) noticed and cocked their head.
            “You alright?” they asked.
            “This is as much of a pain as I anticipated,” said Saiki. Hearing everyone’s current dilemmas was going to give him a headache.
            Someone, please say I’m cute… thought Yumehara.
            “Hey, she’s cute!” said a new voice.
            She whirled around eagerly, but the fantasy was broken as two older boys walked past her towards Teruhashi. (Y/N) frowned as they noticed them. The way they leered felt wrong.
            “Hey, you there,” said the first man.
            “Whoa, check you out!” said the second. “How about the three of us go get some shaved ice?”
            What? This is a joke, right? Are they really hitting on me…? thought Teruhashi.
            “Hey, what’s the problem? Let’s go,” said the first.
            Just how dense do they have to be to think they’re in my league? thought Teruhashi. I know I’m really cute, but this is beyond reckless! It’s not that they have guts, they’re just plain dumb.
            “Are you nervous?” said the second.
            “I don’t like the look of those two,” said (Y/N), frowning in concern.
            Saiki looked over. That got his attention since (Y/N) never disliked people. The only person they had was Makoto (for obvious reason) and now these two.
            “Okay, let’s go, it’s decided!” said the first man, reaching for Teruhashi’s wrist.
            “That’s it, I’m going to help her,” said (Y/N), walking out of the water.
            “Be careful—” Saiki didn’t want those men to hurt them. If they tried anything, Saiki was stepping in.
            “Hey, you two!” said (Y/N). “Get away—”
            “Get off her!” said an unexpected voice. Kaidou moved between the men and Teruhashi and threw out his hands. “She doesn’t wanna go! So beat it!”
            “Huh?!” said the men angrily.
            “Oh?” said Saiki in surprise.
            “Who the hell are you?” said the first man angrily.
            Kaidou wilted but tried to keep his courage up. “W-Well…She doesn’t want to go, right? So…”
            “This is none of your business, got that?!” snapped the second man.
            “Uhm, I’m her classmate, so…” Kaidou trailed off nervously, but his heart was still there. “If you don’t cut it out, I’m gonna get, um, serious…”
            “Huh, what’re you mumbling about?” sneered the first.
            “Leave them both alone,” said (Y/N), walking towards them.
            Saiki took a step towards the group. If anything were to happen, he’d step in. Just for (Y/N), the others could mostly figure it out for themselves.
            “Yeah!” said Yumehara, stepping up with (Y/N). Two versus two. “We’re on a school trip, and if you keep causing trouble, we’ll get the teachers.”
            “Huh?! Don’t get cocky with us!” said the first man again, leering over Yumehara and (Y/N).
            “Get lost, you dumb broads!” said the second.
            Poor Yumehara wilted at the criticism, her self-esteem damaged once more. (Y/N) just glared, knowing those two were just idiotic men (the two words went hand in hand often).
            “So just get out of the way,” said the first, moving to shove (Y/N) out of the way.
            “Yeah,” sneered the second, moving to push Yumehara away.
            Wham!
            Whiff!
            “Don’t ever try to hurt people,” said (Y/N), glaring at the man they had punched to the ground.
            Saiki, who had raised his hand to do something to protect (Y/N), blinked in surprise. He hadn’t expected that. Still…at least they were alright. That’s what mattered to him.
            “You bastards! Apologize to Yumehara and (L/N)!” said Kaidou, glaring at the man he’d bunched. “What do you think you’re doing?! Just apologize to them!”
            The man he had punched frowned and touched his cheek. “That didn’t hurt at all!”
            Unsurprising, thought Saiki.
            “It looks like you got a bug bite,” said the other man, frowning. “Why’d you get hit by the weakling?!” He hadn’t gotten as lucky.
            “I’ll show him weak!” said the man hit by Kaidou, lifting his arm again.
            (Y/N) curled their hand into a fist, preparing to hit the other guy, too.
            Saiki reached out and squeezed his pointed finger and thumb together.
            “Ow!” cried the second man, holding his cheek as the pain began.
            “It hurts now?” said the first man, frowning. “Ow!” His cheek began to thrum with even more discomfort than before.
            (Y/N) tilted their head in confusion as the two men ran away in fear of the pain before looking back towards Saiki. Upon seeing his raised hands, they smiled and nodded to him.
            Saiki had to admit, he didn’t like his attention for his abilities, but seeing (Y/N)’s approval…well, he wouldn’t say no to it.
            Beside (Y/N), Kaidou turned to Yumehara. “A-Are you okay? They were really rude.”
            Yumehara just blushed and imagined something very different as he spoke to her. (Along the lines of: you’re so cute, Chiyo).
            Kaidou! He’s so amazing! thought Yumehara.
            In no sooner than a moment after being “rescued” by Kaidou, Yumehara had developed a massive crush on him.
            Good job, Kaidou.
            Saiki wasn’t sure feelings were supposed to come about so quickly, but he knew he wasn’t the norm. And, hey, Kaidou had done the right thing.
            “Thanks for that,” said (Y/N), smiling at Saiki. “We needed the help.”
            “I don’t think you did.” (Y/N)’s right swing was surprisingly formidable.
            “Maybe, but it was still nice of you to step in,” said (Y/N). “Thanks, Kusuo.” They grinned. “I’ll buy you a sweet for your troubles.”
            (Y/N)’s praise and sweets? Saiki thought that was a perfect exchange.
l
            “Come on, Mera, Teruhashi, Yumehara,” said (Y/N), trying to get their friends’ attention. “We have to meet up with the boys at that café.” They wanted to make sure they didn’t fall behind. (Mostly because they had seen Saiki eying a dessert on the plane ride, so (Y/N) thought treating him to that would be a good “thank you” for the previous day).
            “I can stay back with Mera if you two would prefer,” said Teruhashi graciously. “I know you’re friends with them, (L/N), and Kaidou hasn’t gone far, yet, Yumehara.”
            Said girl went bright red. “What?! Wha…What? Why?! Kaidou?!”
            “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you might have a crush on him,” said Teruhashi.
            She definitely does, thought (Y/N).
            They looked back at the boys and frowned. Saiki was nowhere to be seen. Evidently, he’d decided to leave behind his usual bothers to try to get to the sweets. (Y/N) chuckled fondly and shook their head in amusement. Saiki had his mind on treats and only on treats.
            Ah, well. I’ll just make sure we get there and pay before he does, thought (Y/N).
            “Am I making it that obvious?” said Yumehara, nearly melting from how red she was.
            “Ah, I’m sorry! I won’t tell anyone,” said Teruhashi. She glanced nervously at (Y/N). “And I’m sure (L/N) won’t.”
            “You can count on us, Yumehara,” said (Y/N) brightly.
            “Good, because I also know who you like, Teruhashi!” said Yumehara. She glanced at (Y/N). They might like Saiki, but I have no idea…
            Teruhashi turned red and waved her hands in front of herself. “Ah!K-Keep it to yourself, okay? We’ll all keep each other’s secrets!” She glanced at (Y/N). Especially since they might like Saiki, too.
            (Y/N) remained blissfully unaware of the two girls analyzing (Y/N)’s feelings. “Sounds good to me.” They grinned. “We’re friends.”
            “Right,” said Yumehara, smiling. “But, anyways, I don’t think we should split up.”
            (Y/N) nodded in agreement. “After yesterday, I think we should stick together.” They laughed. “And Mera can grab more free samples from other shops as we go.” They sweat-dropped as they saw the current staff-owner trying to pull Mera away from the samples.
            “Oh, also, isn’t it about time for you two to start calling me by my first name?” said Yumehara. “After all, we’re friends, and last names feel so formal! So you both can call me Chiyo, alright? We’re good friends now, Kokomi, (Y/N)!”
            “O-Okay, Chiyo,” said Teruhashi.
            “Right, Chiyo!” said (Y/N). “And you both can call me by first name.”
            “You can do the same for me!” said Teruhashi, deciding to take a chance and get closer to her two friends.
            “How sweet,” said Mera, but she was only talking about the samples she was devouring.
            (Y/N) shook their head in amusement and grabbed her wrist. “Come on, Mera, we’re going to a café, so you can get more there.”
            “Oh, great!” said Mera brightly, letting her friends steer her out.
            “Hey, where’d Saiki go?” said Kaidou, looking around in confusion as he and Nendou finally noticed Saiki’s absence.
            “Buddy?! Where are you?” called Nendou.
            “Follow me,” said (Y/N), gesturing to everyone.
            “You know where Saiki is?” asked Teruhashi, surprised.
            (Y/N) laughed. “Kusuo’s pretty obvious.”
            Everyone else sweat-dropped. Saiki was not.
            …
            Wait, Kusuo?! thought everyone (minus Nendou).
l
            “I would’ve thought Kusuo would be here by now,” said (Y/N) as they sat down with their friends. They had all ordered the same dish and were just waiting for Saiki.
            The bell on the door rung as Saiki walked in.
            “Hey, pal!” said Nendou excitedly.
            “We’re sitting here!” said Yumehara.
            “Hi, Kusuo,” said (Y/N).
            “Where have you been?” asked Teruhashi.
            “I’m surprised that you found us,” said Kaidou.
            “Now everyone in our group is here,” said Mera cheerfully.
            I knew it before I opened the door, thought Saiki.
            “Welcome!” said the waiter. Saiki pointed to what he wanted on the menu. “Oh, the Red Bean Coffee Anmitsu? I’m sorry, but we sold them all to those customers over there.”
            On cue, the group’s orders were brought out.
            Saiki stared. Wait, they only serve six a day, so…Yare, yare, so this is the ending, huh?
            “Kusuo,” called (Y/N). “Come sit with us. You can have mine. Remember? I owe you.”
            Saiki stared and felt his admiration for (Y/N) grow hundredfold.
            “We can all share,” said Nendou.
            “Good idea!” (Y/N) smiled at the waiter. “We’d like another bowl and spoon, please.”
            Saiki sat down and stared in amazement as his friends gave him large amounts of their sweets until he had the biggest portion out of all.
            “Looks like you got even more than you would’ve before,” said (Y/N).
            “Let’s chow down!” said Nendou. “This’ll be the last memory we make on our school trip.”
            “Right!” said everyone, digging in.
            Saiki lifted his spoon and smiled as he looked out at everyone. This isn’t so bad.
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@unorthodox-gob
@girlswhopanic
@h-i-g-h-w-a-y-t-o-h-e-l-l-l
@drowningfishy
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onestepbackwards · 6 months ago
Note
oh, requests are open- super excited, I first found your blog via your requests :D mmm… if it’s something you’re okay with writing, could I ask for pokemon men of your choice comforting a reader dealing with really bad period cramps? mine have been bad recently, rip-
I got you (o゜▽゜)o☆ Sorry this took a while! I hope you're feeling better!
Word Count: 1845 words!
CW: Period talk/cramps, attempted breaking and entering (its fine don't worry)
Characters: Leon, Giovanni, Nanu
---
“Is it really that bad?”
“Leon, I feel like I’m dying.”
You couldn’t see the pained look on Leon’s face as you curled up further in bed. Leon had come over earlier to see if you wanted to hang out and have a mock battle, but when you answered the door, you looked awful.
His first thought had been you must be sick, and he supposed that wasn’t too off the mark.
You invited him in, though apologized right after. Something about how you were on your period, so you wouldn’t be able to host that well, nor do any battles.
After that, you had told him he could help himself, and do whatever while you went back to your room. All while apologizing again as you entered your room and crawled in bed.
Leon had to admit, he felt awful that you felt miserable. You were usually so upbeat around him, so to see you in such pain…
He didn’t like it.
It’s how he ended up sitting next to you on your bed as you held a pillow close, asking if you would be alright.
“Yeah, I’ll live. Ughh… I just can’t relax, the pain is too much today, and the medicine hasn’t kicked in yet.”
A moment passes, before you hear the sound of a pokeball opening. You open an eye, and your gaze softens when you see Leon’s Charizard next to you, looking at you concerned.
The sweet pokemon gently nudged your arm with it’s snout, and you hesitated a moment, before lifting it. Leon’s Charizard then gently took the pillow you had been curled around, before making itself comfortable by laying against your abdomen.
You sighed in slight relief at the warmth, and Leon smiled at you as your body sagged into the bed.
“Warm…” you said with a sigh of relief. This was waaay better than any heating pad.
Leon’s Charizard proceeded to get comfortable next to your bed, minding it’s flames. No doubt you needed this, given your reaction.
You barely had time to notice though that Leon had kicked his shoes off and climbed into bed with you, at least not until he curled close to you under the covers.
“It’s been a while since I had a day to rest. How long has it been? Months?”
You weakly smiled.
“Being Champion isn’t all fun days either, I take it.”
Leon pulled out his phone, positioning it where you could watch as well, and leaned against your shoulder.
“Nope! It’s usually fine, but… It’s nice to take a break and spend time with you. I don’t mind hanging out in bed.”
His words were sweet. Maybe you wouldn’t mind having more days like this with him.
Well, when you weren’t in agonizing pain, at least.
Being friends with a Mob Boss had its ups and downs, you liked to think.
Even if ending up close with the leader of Team Rocket of all things by complete accident, was nothing short but the work of a lot of shenanigans.
At least it came with benefits, such as an impromptu visit when you don’t answer your phone for a day.
You’d give Giovanni credit. He was possessive of the few people he was close with, meaning he was not happy if he thought something happened to them. Of course, this could also be read as borderline obsession, but you liked to think that with his… unique line of work… he couldn’t afford to be too careful.
It’s how you weren’t too surprised to hear banging on your door after you ignored your phone for several hours.
You had set it to charge that morning, and unfortunately started red week.
The cramps hit you like a hammer, and you ended up scrambling to take medicine, and get comfortable before crawling in bed with a heating pad. In your haze of pain, you forgot to grab your phone where you had it charging.
Groaning, you wondered if it was someone who would leave if you ignored it. Though when you heard the banging again, and the sound of your doorknob jiggling, you sighed and got up from bed.
You unlocked your door quickly, before pulling it open.
On your front porch was Giovanni, caught red handed clearly trying to lockpick your door.
Clearing his throat, he adjusted his hat, his face turning into a scowl.
“Uh… everything alright, Giovanni?” you asked. Said man raised a brow at you, showing his hands into his trench coat pockets.
“I should be asking you that question.”
“Huh-?”
If you didn’t know Giovanni as well as you did, you probably would have flinched at the glare he gave you.
“No answered calls, no answered texts. It’s been hours. What happened?”
Ah yes, Giovanni was definitely possessive of those he considered his.
Sagging a bit, you gave him a look.
“Sorry, I’m not feeling well, and I left my phone to charge in another room before crawling in bed.”
Another thing about Giovanni was how paranoid he could be. Calculating every possible result he could. He didn’t seem entirely convinced.
Rolling your eyes (though there wasn’t any actual annoyance behind the action), you opened your door for him to come inside.
He followed almost immediately, letting you shut the door behind him. You knew he wouldn’t let this drop if you didn’t let him see for himself you were fine.
Just because he somewhat trusted you, did not mean he trusted anyone else besides his inner circle of ‘employees’. He tended to rely on himself to make sure bigger things went smoothly.
No doubt he’d try to break in again unless he saw for himself, or he’d send one of his inner circle to do it.
Giovanni followed you into your home, and you gestured towards your charging phone, before looking at him a bit weak.
“See? I’m sorry for missing your calls and messages, but I really don’t feel well…”
Giovanni looked you up and down, and you felt yourself internally sigh.
“Just what are you even sick with? Flu?”
You gave him a deadpan look.
“Red week.”
It was silent, and a look of realization hit him.
“Ah.”
It was almost comical how his demeanor changed, though you decided not to pick on him for it.
“Make yourself at home, I’m going back to bed.”
You knew he wouldn’t mess with anything. Not like you had anything he couldn’t buy himself, and he wasn’t interested in any of your valuables.
With that, you headed back to your room while holding your gut, cursing your beloathed organ. Behind you, you could barely make out Giovanni pulling out a phone before you turned a corner and walked back to your room.
Crashing dramatically onto your bed, you curled up against one of your pillows and let out a groan. Here you had been comfortable, and had to get up.
Of course, you weren’t upset at Giovanni, but definitely more irritated at the circumstances of having to leave your cocoon of comfort.
You laid long enough to nearly end up in a drowsy slumber after being alone in your room for a bit, before you heard your door squeak open. You hadn’t shut it completely in case Giovanni wanted something, though you jolted slightly at the noise.
“Relax.”
Looking up, you saw Giovanni. How long had it been since you let him in? You weren’t sure.
“Wh-”
“Here.”
Before you could even ask what he needed or was doing, he tossed something on your bed. Blinking in confusion, your eyes looked over to whatever had landed next to you.
Your eyes then widened when you noticed it was a rather high quality heating pad.
“Wait-”
He held up a hand, and you paused.
“Don’t worry about it. Consider it a get well soon gift.”
Your mouth opened and closed like a fish, and you barely managed to react in time and catch something when he tossed something else to you.
Confused, you looked at it, before your eyes widened at the sight of a pokeball. Curious, you clicked it open, and Giovanni’s Persian popped out.
The giant cat-like pokemon lazily blinked at you, before hopping on your bed and did a long stretch, before curling up next to you with a purr.
“Persian will look after you. I’ll be back to check on you later.”
Before you could even get a word in, Giovanni gave you a nod, before turning and leaving your room, closing the door behind him.
Persian nuzzled against you, and you reached out to scritch behind its soft ears.
Giovanni was a busy, cold man. You knew this well, and you wouldn’t argue if someone said it.
…But you’d admit, he could show he cares in his own strange ways to the select few he was close to.
In hindsight, you should have expected this.
Starting your period while hanging out with Nanu was awful. Not only did the cramps hit you out of nowhere, but the headache and nausea decided to slam into you at the same time on top of it all.
Nanu, to his credit, was sympathetic to you despite how nonchalant he seemed.
“Got ya some meds and a blanket.”
Looking up from your spot on the couch, you saw Nanu next to you, holding each thing out to you to grab.
“Oh thank Arceus, thank you Nanu.” You said, sitting up with a wince before grabbing the items from him.
“No problem.” Was all he said, before sitting next to you as you tried to get comfortable as you took the pain killers.
Chuckling at the wince you made as you swallowed the pills, Nanu held back a grin as you groaned. He found your reactions funny, but he knew better than to laugh when you must be feeling absurd amounts of pain.
That, and despite his grin, he truly hated to see you like this.
You rarely let anyone see you feel this way, he had realized earlier. No doubt always staying home and canceling plans to ride the pain out.
Just how many times have you stayed home because of this? Or had simply pushed through the pain?
Glancing at you, he watched as you wrapped the blanket around you, giving a small smile to a Meowth that carefully pawed at your leg in concern.
The lil guy then carefully jumped up and crawled into your lap with a small noise of comfort, and you absentmindedly began to pet him as the Meowth made himself comfortable.
After a moment, Nanu let out a silent sigh, before reaching over and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He pulled you close in a comforting manner, and grabbed the tv remote with his free hand.
“Stay as long as you need.” he said, before turning the tv on and flipping the channel to one you had mentioned liking.
You were silent for a moment, before leaning against Nanu’s shoulder.
“Thank you, Nanu.” you whispered.
The corner of his lips ticked upwards in a small smile.
“No problem at all.”
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Text
Love and War (Lucy Bronze x Ona Battle x Reader)
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Warning: Swearing, Angst, Fluff and Smut
Request: "PLEASE can we have a threesome with one batlle and lucy MF BRONZE. please omg I'm so done bad. Like poly relationship and shit "
"L/N on the ball, gets past Battle. Leon on their tail. GETS PAST BRONZE! L/N TO WIN!!! GOOOOOALLLLLLLLLLLLL. REAL MADRID SCORE AT THE CAMP NOU WITH SECONDS LEFT"
Your heart was racing, you were running to the craized cheers of the Madrid faithful and jumped into the crowd. You let emotion take over you and celebrate. Kids, Men and Women all hearing your name as your found yourself being carried out and dog piddled by your teammates. Them praising you
*WHISTLE BLOWS*
"Unbelievable scenes here. 2-0 to Barcelona at halftime only for the super sub F/N L/N to score the Hat Trick and snap the unbeaten streak of Barcelona Femeni. The Barcelona players cleary upset with the loss but we can't underrate the fire that L/N and the Madrid gave in the second half.
As you stood up alongside Oroz who gave you a peck in the top of your head as you went to shake hands with your rivals, you saw Alexia walk up to you "Good game, we will make you pay next time" She ruffled your hair. She clearly was upset with the lost but you two had a good friendship going since you got together with Ona and Lucy. Speaking of which you see Lucy sitting on the ball as Ona talked to her clearly mad about the defeat. You approached the duo, you loved them but come on. You were gonna rub this in thier face later. You squat down next to them "Hey good game girls, you were tough as always" you say trying to lighten the mood. Ona looked at you with a concerned smile as Lucy kept her head down. "See you at home L/N" that's not good. She got up and walked off. "Get home safe amor" Ona said quietly before chasing Lucy.
You knew Lucy hated losing. The fact she called you by your last name hurt and pissed you off. She has beaten you before and you never reacted like that even if you mad as hell. You shook you head before walking towards Mapi Leon and embraced your long time frienemy.
Lucy was fuming, She lost, She was the last line of defence and still let the ball passed her. Lost at the Camp nou, Lost to Real Fucking Madrid. Of the teams that could of beat them it was them!. They Lost because of you!. The image if your face flashed in her mind as she made her way back to the locker room. Your beautiful face. She loved waking up to it in the morning and falling a sleeping staring into your eyes. But she can't help but want to punch you right now. She wouldn't but it was how she felt.
Ona was worried. Lucy was silent with a noticeable scowl on her face. The last time Lucy lost a game was the World Cup final and she didn't treat Ona like this. In fact the roles of you and Ona were swapped, Yours and Lucy's team lost and you didn't treat Ona like this, well she thought. She didnt know why this lost hurt lucy more then the finals. Sure Ona was fustrated but thats the game and all three of you were in a relationship you would think Lucy wouldnt be mad that her partner won a match. She'walked besides her as they entered the locker room hoping she cooled down.....
Much later that night back at Lucy's house, Lucy was still in the same mood. Ona had watched her pace back and forth. Ona was waiting for you to arrive as you promised the girls you have one or two drinks to celebrate. "Lucy, my love but please sit down, it's annoying when you pacing back and forth" Lucy with her hand on her hips sighed before sitting down on the couch. "Where are they?" Lucy said cleary irritated. "They should be-"
*Door key noises*
The duo turned to the door to see the handle pushed down and open to reveal you still in your Madrid top and for you to see them still in thiers. "Hola my lovlies" you say before shutting the door and making your way to Lucy and got ready to sit next to her. You though wrong as you went to sit down "Don't touch me" She got up with a annoyed face, as you stopped on the couch with one knee on it and standing with the other leg "Excuse me?"
"You heard me L/N" She said crossing her arms at you. You gave her a suprised lock before glaring. Again with the last name "What is your problem Bronze" Her annoyed face shifted as you said her last name. "You are my problem, you don't talk to us for 3 days and then come up to us and act like nothing is wrong?" You gave her a raised eyebrow "You do realise we are involved in the of the biggest rivalries in history right? We did the same thing last time aswell. We cut contact so we could focus. So I will ask again" You step infront of Lucy. You staring into her soul "What. Is. Your. Problem........Bronze" You said in a tone neither of the girls have heard before. Lucy kept a straight face but didnt want to admit her bitterness. Ona would stand in between as soon as you mention her last name again and feeling the tension "Ok OK that's enough. We all had a tiring day. Let's relax and getting some rest" She said trying to defuse the situation. You backed up as Ona turned to Lucy "Calm down ok?" She would ask the Lioness.
"Oh of course you would bloody check on her first" You threw you hands in the air as you turned and walked to the kitchen. This time it was Ona and Lucy's turned to have confused faces. The duo followed you "What do you mean by that?" Ona would say. "Oh come on, anytime something happens that involves me and Lucy, you go to her first and treat me like an after thought." Ona looked at Lucy before back at you. Lucy was trying to recount these supposed events you mentioned. "I love both of you Y/N, equally. I always try to get to both of you when some-"
You lifted a middle finger that caught both of them off, even Lucy eyebrows raised "One. When yours truly was kicked in the by Caldentey and was semi conscious, you two were two busy protesting rather to check on me." The duo looked down, that was at the start of the relationship and it was something they regretted and hoped that it didn't hurt you but you broke that hope. "Nope you were too busy trying to convince the ref it wasn't a foul"
You held up your index finger giving them the classic two fingers. "Two. Last week when you beat my team, did either of you come up to me and say anything or shake my hand" Ona sighed and Lucy was uncomfortable "Nope, you both celebrate shook a few hands and went out to celebrate. Ignoring my texts and calls and left me alone outside until I had to walk home an sleep worrying that you two didn't get home safe" Ona was now scratching her arm, she knew that the action of that would send you paranoid and she didn't want you to think like that. It was for that reason she gave you keys to her and Lucy's house. Lucy had her hands in her pockets, she felt horrible because she would always insist that you call or text her if you needed anything and the one time you did, she wasn't there. Feeling the remorse she approached you"F/N. I'm so so-"
"Three" you cut her off as you held up a third finger and taking a swig of the beer you had opened when you entered the kitchen. Your attention fully on Ona"Back in Australia. When we lost. When me and Lucy were down. Who did you go to?"
"Lucy" She said quietly, you nodded "of course I'm not saying Lucy didn't need the comfort but when did you come to me?" You said in a innocent voice. Guilt and a sick feeling built up in her gut.
"I didn't" You smiled " Thank you." You then looked at Lucy before taking a swig if beer "And you, you said you would be there for me" You slowly step towards her "I can forgive being excited about a win and getting caught up in the fun or getting caught up in the heat of the game." You said your voice now in a tone that could be described as you are regretting your actions and even though I am pissed, I'm loving it. You stepped again "When my world was shattered and I felt like shit feeling the world watch me cry. And countless teammates and Spaniards were trying to comfort me and I saw my two girlfriends smiling at each other." You stood nose to nose with Lucy. Who calm demeanor showed signs of breaking "When we stood shoulder to shoulder and watch Ona lift the cup. What did you say" Lucy felt nauseous, one of the biggest regres in her life was what she said to you. Ona was uncomfortable and scared at the thought of whag Lucy did "What"
"Did"
"You"
"Say"
"To"
"Me"
Lucy breathed in "I said"
"We would of won if Keira was on the pitch instead of you"
Ona jaw hung low at the confession. Lucy's tried to remain calm shook her head cleary disgusted with letting her anger get the best of you. You put your drink down.
"And you are telling me, That even though I can handle all that shit that has happened. That you can't handle one fucking loss to me?" Lucy looked ashamed before you looked towards Ona who looked at Lucy with shook before locking eyes with you. "Do you think I'm in the wrong for being pissed off" She looked down and shook her head.
You walked past the duo and headed out of the Kitchen but stopped "Anyone else would leave you two if they were me you know" the two looked at you with worry "But I love you two so much that, that if I did leave. It would hurt more then the 3 reasons I just stated, combined.
You headed to the bedroom Leaving the duo, you felt light headed. Was that the right thing to say. You let months of anger out on them even if you felt justified you still didn't like to see them hurt, you took off your trousers and threw them across the room then proceeded to look for a pair of shirts to put so you could sleep. You found a old pair of England shorts and put them on before going to bed, hoping the next day wouldn't be as bad. You layed battling the emotions that were making you tired, You expressed your feelings but it left a worrying thought that you may have hurt your partners deeply with you words and attitude.
Lucy felt Ona's eyes burning into her head. Not only did Ona have to listen to someone she loves became angry and hurt, a side of you she or Lucy have never seen before but she finds out what Lucy said to you. Lucy felt sick ever since she said that, as soon as those words left her mouth she wanted to apologise and hold you close but was Stubborn. In her anger and looking for someone to blame, you were the closest and the reason at the time. She knew that you were scared of replacing Keira not on the pitch as a partner. You worried about living up to Lucy's standards after she been in a long relationship with your teammate. Her knowing this she decided to use it as ammo in the moment and hit the target. She felt a growing sense of regret for her words and actions. She knew she had taken her anger out on you unfairly then and now. Her stubbornness in the heat of the moment had caused unnecessary pain. The thought of you leaving them had struck her hard and it was a wake up call to revaluate her behaviour.
Ona, who was caught in the middle of the fight, couldn't ignore the rift that had developed between you and Lucy. She loved both of you deeply and wanted nothing more than to see harmony in your relationship. The fact that you had revealed your hurt and frustration was both eye opening and heart breaking for her. She realized that she needed to step up her game in terms of being there for you. She loved you deeply and she couldn't bear to see you hurt, especially when it was because of her negligence. She knew she had to make an effort to be more attentive and supportive in the future.
Lucy sat down in the living room couch, leaning forward with her hands together. Ona was sat next to her resting her head on Lucy shoulder. "I'm such a fucking idiot" Lucy said in a broken voice "Out of all the things I should have said. I said that." Lucy spoke with great disappointment in herself, She felt Ona rub her arm "And tonight i hurt them again" She buried face in her hands. "You are right, we should of been there more. We should of been celebrating now, but we ruin F/N's moment with this Lucia" Ona said in a ashamed voice as Lucy began fight back emotions. "What if they want to leave? I don't know how i can fix this." Ona now sat up and hugged the Lionesses side.
"Listen to me, Y/N loves us deeply. They have shown that countless times. I don't think they want to leave. Like they said leaving us would hurt them more then anything." Ona cupped Lucy cheeks "Lucia, F/N is strong, but they are a human and humans can only take so much before snapping. We just need to be there for F/N when they are ready" Lucy looked into the women's eyes "Maybe its because there are three of us in a relationship, It means more commitment and love from each other. We expect more from each other. We should be supportive, especially when one of us succeeds, just as we comfort each other in defeat." Lucy held back her tears hearing Ona speak like this made her captivated before closing the distance and kissing Ona, who responded back before pulling apart and resting each others head against each other.
Lucy sighed "You're right, Ona. I need to apologize to Y/N and make things right." Ona smiled "We, We need to apologise" Lucy gave a sad smile. "We need to let Y/N know that we love them and we're here to support and understand each other, no matter what Lucia."
You open your eyes slowly feeling something run through your hair and something playing with your hand. As the blurring vision cleared you saw Ona laying next to you playing with you hand "Morning amor" You looked up to see Lucy playing with your hair "Hey sleepyhead" You felt so happy that your girls were still there but still felt sad you may have hurt them "How was your sleep?" Ona asked kissing your hand, you glance at the window. Still dark must be early in the morning"Honestly, Nice" You gave a blunt response making the duo know you were still hurt. You felt Lucy move beside you and cupped your cheeks "Y/N," she said, her voice filled with sincerity and remorse, "I'm so sorry for what I said and how I acted last night. It was unfair, and it was a terrible way to treat you after winning the game. And for what i said at the World Cup that was sick of me to say. Please forgive me. I love you, and I never want to hurt you like that again." For the first time you saw Lucy looking like a lost puppy. She looked distraught after speaking and was waiting for a reply from you.
You felt a hand on your shoulder "Y/N," Ona began, "I apologize as well for not being there when you needed me. You're right, I should have checked on you during the World Cup. I promise to be more attentive in the future." You heard the honesty in her voice. She said it with clear passion in her voice. You looked back at Lucy who looked like she was going to cry a storm. It was clear the aftermath of last night was a wake up call to the girls. Your heart ached with a mix of emotions as you couldn't bear it anymore. You one arm each of Lucy and Ona pulling them into embrace, Ona gladly accepting, Lucy accepting and holding you in a tight grip. "I love you two." You felt Lucy soften" And I forgive you" Lucy started to slowly cry into you shoulder as Ona rubbed her back and you place a hand on the back of your head. It felt like hours you guys sat there just holding one another.
As the embrace broke. Lucy wiped her eyes as you pushed the strands of her hair out of her face, You loved it when her hair was down. Ona rested her head on your shoulder. You noticed both still had there Barca shirts on. They clearly didn't change. "Y/N, you were absolutely incredible last night," Lucy beamed, her eyes filled with admiration. "I've never seen someone turn a game around like that. You're amazing." You smiled sheepishly as Ona chimed in "Yes, you were the hero of El Classico. You made us so proud amor. You couldn't help but blush at their compliments, feeling their love and support wash over you. It was moments like these that reminded you why you cherished your relationship with them so much.
You felt Lucy's fingers graze your your thigh, giving you slight shivers. Her eyes turned evil. "But i must say" She leaned in pecking you jaw line before whispering "You may be wearing a Madrid top but you are Barca property" She said as she started to peck you neck. You felt a shiver shoot up your spine. Lucy knew how to make you submit to her advances. You tried to respond but her pecks made you stammer Ona couldn't help but chuckle at the exchange. She knew how much Lucy's teasing affected you, and she enjoyed the playful banter between the two of you. She leaned in and whispered, "Lucy's right, you did look stunning in that jersey. But don't forget who owns you. okay?" Ona then decided you attack the over side of your neck sending you into euphoria. You breath was caught in your throat as the two made break as you gave a audible moan. Lucy smirked but notice Ona.
The Lionesses grip the back of Ona hair and pulled her away from you "Did i say to do that?" You bit your lip as your favourite side of Lucy came up. Ona whilst Lucy was holding her hair gave Lucy a smirk that screamed brat. You then felt Lucy grip your jaw and aggressively kiss you and you responded lucy didn't even have to try you let her tongue overpower you within seconds. You faintly hear Ona chuckle before Lucy stopped and let go of Ona and pushed you onto bed like a Lion finding its prey and used her teeth to mark you. The intensity made you gasp with pleasure as a wetness form between your legs. As you let Lucy clam your neck Ona layed next to you, She loved to Lucy make you hers. She was like a hyena, she would try and try to have a bite of Lucy's food and pick off the left overs.
"Papi" You moaned as Lucy responded by licking your neck and gripping you jaw making her stare at you "Say it pup" she growled you as you feel her hand roam under your shirt
"Say it"
*Smut Incoming*
"Fuck me Papi" you said in a submissive voice as Lucy's smirked with fire in her eyes.. She lifted your Madrid top over you head and held it against you wrists and held your wrists with one hand above your head. You couldn't see clearly through the sheet and excitement ran throughout your body. You loved being Lucy's plaything. You heard lips smacking, knowing Lucy she is marking Ona's neck. "Do it brat" You heard Lucy say calling Ona a brat. But all of a sudden you feel a wet sensation on your left nipple making you gasp and arch up. you legs rubbing against each other as you moaned. "Good Girl" you hear Lucy say through your moans. You couldn't concentrate feeling Ona tongue flick and make circle around your nipple as you felt her leg wrap around one of yours and feeling another body most likely Lucy layed on your right side holding you down copying Ona. You then screamed with pleasure feeling Lucy's mouth on your right nipple, licking and sucking like an animal.
These girls were sending you into a moaning mess, you were tortured by your girlfriends for what felt like hours. To be honest you didn't care you loved this feeling of being controlled by two Barcelona girls. You felt Lucy leave your nipple as you felt Ona roughly pulled off you. You shirt was pulled down you see Lucy smirking holding Ona by the back of her head, holding her head between your legs. "Time to eat brat" Lucy said to Ona before pushing her head down on you. Making you moan, feeling Ona's mouth, her licks, her kisses, treating you like a meal that has even kept from her all month. Lucy laugh would send electricity through you. Lucy push Ona harder and Ona pulled your legs towards her, showing she needed your taste on her tongue. You felt the texture of her tongue run up and down you as she chuckle. Starting to feel you body. "Papi" you said looking at Lucy, She smirked at you knowing you were close. "Yes Pup?" You shiver as she traces her fingers down your waist. "I i I go- ugh gonna cum" She smiled devious "Not yet pup, not till Papi says. You start to squirm with pleasure and excitement, hearing the slurps and licks from Ona makes you feel more alive.
"Say the magic word puppy" You bit your tongue and shook your head "N-no never" She gripped your jaw making you more close "Say it now" she growled. You couldn't, you can't break your loyalty. "If you don't say it" She gripped harder. But you felt it coming in the moment you said the words that Lucy didn't want you to say. As you the orgasm take over you arched up and during released said
"HALA MADRID!"
Dazed from the amazing orgasm, you couldn't see Lucy's furious face. How dare you say that in her house. Ona's was chuckling as she licked up every essence of yours. "You fucking pathetic bitch" you knew you fucked up but you didn't care you would never pledge love towards Barcelona. "BRAT!" Ona looked up deeply breathing "Hold them" Lucy said in a tone you both understood well. You gulped as Ona pounced on you, pulling you on her and wrapping her arms and around you. "You shouldn't have said that my pet" She said before placing her lips on yours and staring to make out with you. You both battle trying to over come.
"Fucking dumb bitch" You hear before a overwhelming force entered you, you eyes bulging and you screamed into Ona's mouth. You felt you hair pulled as Lucy made you look up into her eyes "You are going to pay for saying that word in my house, you pathetic galáctico" She said before thrusting again. Making you shake on her strap. You couldn't help but love when Lucy brought your team rivalry in it, it made things spicier.
You couldn't to jolt everytime you felt Lucy pound into you, the sounds of slapping skin, Ona licking your nipples in a teasing matter. You hear Lucy groan and grunt as she found a rhythm. You knew she had a vibrator behind her strap. You feel her push your head down and without hesitation you start to make out with Ona. You moan and scream as you are being pounded into a weakened state. You feel Lucy body weight onto you making you stop kissing and gasp more as she picks speed "Who do you belong to" Lucy said as you feel her hot breathe on the back of your neck. "Who do you belong Pet" Ona said in a seductive tone. "Y-ah ah uh Y-"
"Wrong answer pet" You feel Ona bite the right side of your neck and start to mark. Lucy now growling in you ear as she thrusted harder and place her hand of the back of Ona's head and pulled her into your neck"Who do you belong too puppy" she slowly liked your ear before biting town on your left side neck and Ona holding Lucy's head
"AHHH MY OWN-ERS I BELONG TO YOU, I BELONG TO YOU" You repeat and repeat you couldn't take it, you squirmed as you release at the same time as does, making her bite down enough to draw blood. You collapsed as Ona and Lucy continue to mark your neck for another minute. You don't move you just let it happen. The two girls making sure you and others who see your neck, that you are property of Lucia Roberta Tough Bronze and Ona Batlle Pascual.
Lucy sighs and falls off you as you then fall off Ona. As you lay there mind broken, you glanced to the side, seeing Ona wasting no time as she climbed on a spent Lucy and began to ride her. You stared at the two girls you loved, you couldn't imagine not having them in your life. It was heaven. Lucy now regaining her composure started to move ger hands up and down Ona and thrusting upwards. You slowly scooted towards Lucy and draped your arm across her chest. She looked at you. "You did good puppy, stay by my side and rest" She pecked your head as you slowly fell into slumber letting the two others finish.
*Smut End*
You woke up groggily. You felt arms around you, you opened your eyes to see Lucy sleeping in front of you. you felt arms behind you, you knowing it was Ona spooning you. Thought still all naked, the covers were dropped over all three of you. This is what you needed, what you always looked forward too. Being sandwiched by the two most important and beautiful beings in the universe.
You feel back asleep, knowing you were protected in the arms of Ona Batlle and Lucy Bronze
The end
Holy shit, my first smut. I hoped it worked if not I apologise. I don't write smut so let me know how I did,it would REALLY help me knownif I did a good one or not .
How was the story too? What about Keira insult from bronze? Bringing the team rivalry into the dynamic.
Let me knownif you guys want more Ona and Lucy
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mrs-dr-reid · 9 months ago
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“Lecture”
A Wolverine Fic
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Pairing: Logan Howlett x Mutant!Fem!Reader
Summary: Logan's late-night crisis of worth leads to a loving reassurance/lecture from the reader
Genre: Super frickin fluffy, but a teensy bit suggestive at the end because why not?
Warnings: Swearing, allusions to Logan's past, suggestive language, tooth-rotting fluff
A/N: The voices got me. I'm writing for Wolverine now
Word Count: 1668 (just a baby)
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As time went on, Y/N began to appreciate the quieter moments she shared with Logan. Sure, she enjoyed the banter with the other X-Men and watching Scott get humbled, and of course, she adored seeing him interact with the kids. But her favorite time to spend with the man she loves was when it was just the two of them in their shared room talking about nothing and everything all at once, wrapped up in each other like they were the only two people in the universe.
On one of these nights, Y/N was snuggled against Logan’s chest as he traced random shapes on her back, and she was almost asleep when she heard him heave a sigh and whisper, “Shit,” so she opened her eyes and mumbled, “Logan? Is everything okay?”, making him run a hand over her arm and say, “Ah, it’s nothing, Baby. I didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep,” while shaking his head.
Y/N craned her neck to look up at him and said, “Lo, we’ve talked about this. When you start getting into your head too much, you need to talk to me,” while bringing a hand up to cup his face, a look of concern taking over her features. Logan grabbed her hand and kissed it before saying, “Yeah, okay. I was just… and this is gonna sound stupid, but I was just thinking about how you could do so much better than me,” which made Y/N fully sit up with an aghast look on her face.
She said, “Please tell me you’re joking, because if you aren’t, you’re in for one hell of a lecture, Bubba,” and when Logan just looked at her with a somber expression on his face, a crease formed between her eyebrows before she cupped his face in both hands and said, “I love you, Logan Howlett. Every scar, every bruise, every freckle and line is perfect to me. There’s nobody else I’d rather be with than you, and I need you to believe me when I say that because it is God’s honest truth, okay?”, her thumbs lovingly stroking his cheeks.
Logan looked at her mournfully and murmured, “Why me?”, so Y/N repositioned herself so their shoulders were pressed together, and she grabbed one of his wrists before saying, “First of all, I love your hands, because they’re warm and rough, and you have to admit mine fit in them pretty good,” and lacing her fingers with his, which made him chuckle despite himself and say, “Yeah, they do fit together quite nicely,” squeezing Y/N’s hand for emphasis.
Y/N turned his hand over in her grasp, then double-tapped one of his knuckles and said, “I love your claws, because they’re a part of you whether you want them to be or not, and because they help you protect yourself and other people, but mostly me,” earning her a soft snort from Logan as he rested his head on hers. Y/N continued by running her free hand up and down his arm and saying, “I love your arms, because they’re strong and sturdy, and because I never have to worry about anything when you’re holding me,” which made Logan playfully flex his arm and joke, “You sure you don’t just love them because they’re big?”, earning a loving swat to the chest from Y/N.
She brought a hand up to trace his mouth and said, “I love your mouth. Not just because you can do some… very enjoyable things with it, but also because you have a wonderful smile, and the corner of your mouth quirks up when you know I’m right but you don’t want to admit it,” and Logan was barely able to stop himself from doing that exact thing before saying, “Are we just gonna brush past that first part?”, which made Y/N shoot him a look that clearly said she wasn’t done yet, so he raised a hand in surrender and let her continue.
Y/N’s fingers wandered up to the creases by Logan’s eye, then she said, “I love your eyes, because even though they’ve seen some of the most awful things you could imagine, there’s still a tenderness to them, especially when you’re looking at me,” and he couldn’t help the lovestruck look in his eyes as he smiled at her. Y/N added, “I also love the little glint in your eye when you’re knocking Scott down a couple of pegs, or when the kids are getting up to some mischief that you helped them orchestrate,” and tapped his nose, which made him chuckle and tap her nose back.
Her hand migrated back to his chest as she said, “I love your chest. Not only because it’s a really nice pillow…,” and Logan flexed the peck her hand was resting on playfully at that sentiment, which made her shoot him a lovingly exasperated look before she continued, “But also because it’s where your heart is, and I love your heart most of all because even though you’ve lived through some truly horrible things, you never let them harden your heart. You love so fully and so fiercely, you put the most famous lovers in history to shame,” her thumb stroking the skin where his heart was. Logan put a hand over hers and whispered, “Thank you,” so Y/N smiled and whispered back, “Of course,” with a loving wrinkle of her nose before leaning in to press a loving kiss to his lips.
After she pulled away, a wicked grin spread across her face, and she slid her hand down to the waistband of Logan’s sweatpants while saying, “I also really love your co-...,” but she didn’t get to finish her sentence because Logan cut her off with a hand over her mouth and said, “Okay, Darlin, you’ve made your point,” trying to fight back a blush at her salaciousness. Y/N said, “Are you sure? You don’t need a demonstration?”, while toying with one of the drawstrings, so Logan said, “Can we raincheck that? I just want to hold you right now,” which made Y/N make a playful thinking face before saying, “I can work with that,” and snuggling against his chest once again.
Logan rolled his eyes, but he still pressed a kiss to the top of her head and said, “I love you, too, Y/N. You have no idea just how much,” making Y/N say, “I think I get the gist of it. Sweet dreams, Big Guy,” and tighten her grip on him. Logan murmured, “All my dreams are sweet because you’re in them,” earning a playful nudge to the ribs and a grumble of, “Sap,” from her. After a few moments of silence, Y/N said quietly, “Did I forget to mention how much I love your butt?”
The belly laugh she received was all she needed to know that Logan wouldn’t be having any crises of worth anytime soon.
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MCU Taglist: @libraryofloveletters
Let me know in the comments if you want to be added
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brokenpieces-72 · 6 months ago
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Split
CoD Hybrid AU | Navigation
You have options for what to do next. Communications are still open, you have contacts that can assist you, and you can reach weapons easily enough. The problem is… the problem. The people who raised you, took care of you, and trained you are now trying to kill you and innocent people. There aren’t too many hybrid units that can be easily reached and it’s selfish but if the program found out about this you would be taken back immediately.
“Right now we need to wait this out.” Ghost admits. The problem is, plenty of people could die. There are evacuation and containment measures for when something like this happens but like any emergency, no one is guaranteed safety. Most of the men were likely out if not holed up somewhere.
“What about a flu shot?” You suggest. Ghost and Rudy both look at you, a little confused.
“A flu shot?” Ghost asks.
“It put me out of commission.” You point out.
“Yes, but it took a couple days.” Rudy reminds you.
“But I couldn’t do anything for a while before that. I even tried to shift, but it just made super tired…having a hard time shifting even now.” You mutter the last part. Ghost and Rudy share a look. It could be difficult, and they’d need to get to the flu shots, but it wasn’t a terrible idea. Certainly worth a try. It is concerning that you can’t shift properly but that’s an issue for later.
“Does Hunter have any vaccines?”
“Got a few extras just in case, there’s enough for every soldier on base.” You say.
“Administering them could be tricky.” Rudy mentions.
“I can hold them down if you can deliver.” Ghost tells him. Rudy nods. Ghost turns to you. “You know where the vaccines are?”
“In the medbay.” You say. Shit. That could get complicated.
“Jet injector might be useful. More force to it.” Ghost thinks aloud.
“Those would be in another part of the base.” Rudy says. It’s risky even leaving the room, but staying in one place is not safe either. Right now you three need to get to work before there’s too much bloodshed. Rudy is low on energy, and cadejos could take a while to recharge. Ghost can’t expend his abilities too much without risk, so hiding in shadows has to be limited. You can’t shift which was a bit of an issue, but you’re a quick runner, and you can duck into anywhere.
“Alright, we’ll try to go at this together, but knowing the odds we’ll get separated. Spirit, find the vaccines, as many of them as you can gather. Rudy, jet injectors. I’ll keep an eye on both of you as much as I can.” Ghost says. You get off the desk and stick close to the men’s sides. Thankfully Rudy still had his side arm, but you and ghost don’t have much.
Ghost looks down at you, and worries for a moment. “Y/N?”
You look up at him. “If we get separated, don’t open the door for anyone. Not unless it’s me or Rudy, and you ask us a question only one of us would know. Got it?”
You hesitate but nod. Ghost knows you’re worried about the team first and foremost. You’re scared for Johnny, as is he. König is one of your only friends. He gives your shoulder a light squeeze and you take a deep breath.
You can feel your heart thumping in your chest as the door is slowly opened. Price’s door lets out a soft squeak, something he refused to get fixed for his own purposes. You can hear some noises in the distance that make you want to go back inside the office. You have to steel yourself though. This is a mission, and you’re entering what is essentially a war zone with highly dangerous targets and bogies. Unfortunately you also know that soft squeak of the hinge is a blip on the radar for plenty of your team with enhanced senses.
Rudy is tense, which makes sense. He’s low on energy, and who knows how long he originally had before all hell broke loose in the infirmary. The cadejos would likely need a minute before he could summon them again.
You hear a howl, all of you do. You look back down the hall. Your brother is somewhere nearby, you know it’s him. It couldn’t be anyone else. There’s an odd pull towards it, but Rudy catches your shoulder.
“Mija, don’t.” You look back at him, knowing what he means. Throughout your time here, Soap had been nothing but supportive, and you feel like you could be letting him down. Another howl rings out and Ghost looks back as well. He knows that howl too. You look up at Ghost, wanting nothing more than to see your brother.
“We need to hurry.” He says, and continues moving. Then you hear your name. Soap knows you can hear it, and only you can hear it. It pulls your attention away from the set course. Rudy gives a soft tug to your shoulder, keeping you from taking off.
“Rudy…” you say softly.
“Not a good idea. We stay on target, yeah?” Rudy says. You nod and continue to follow. You hear some more noises. A few are cries, some are squelching and wet, and you can make out a pounding noise, something banging against walls. You realize you’re moving closer to it and stop.
Ghost takes notice as does Rudy.
“What?” Ghost asks.
“I think I hear Konig.”
“I don’t hear anything.” Rudy says.
“It’s near the medbay. Something trying to break out.” You explain.
“You can hear that?” Rudy asks.
“Yeah.” You say looking between the two men. They’re a little red in the face, exchanging looks. “Why do you think I wear headphones at night? Block out you two with you Soap and Alejandro down the halls.”
“Not the time.” Ghost says, not wanting to lose focus. “Let’s focus on findin-“
“Horangi.” You say seeing a familiar haetae approaching. Shit. His eyes are red, and his mouth is drooling. There’s no chuffing only low growls.
“Spirit… you know what to do.” Ghost instructs focusing on the stalking beast as you three step back. Rudy moves into your line of sight and Horangi. Your vision started to go white, as you realize Horangi is trying to hide himself. Ghost would be fine but Rudy? You have to hope Rudy with be okay. You take off without another thought, taking another route to the medbay. There’s growls both canine and feline but you don’t look back.
You turn the corners trying to focus on whatever smells of carnage you can track down.
Fresh scent, raw and meaty but still fresh. You pause for a moment taking time to locate yourself. You’re out of the fog at least. Frying pan and fire though because you’re exposed. Okay ignore the smells, you’ll smell blood and meat regardless of whichever way you go. The sound of banging though. That had to be Konig surely.
“Little rabbit…” you heard, and the hair on the back of your neck rose. It was soft but close. You took only a second to look up and see what was your worst nightmare.
He stood, half shifted, and covered in gore. He wiped his mouth on his arm, smearing the blood even more, approaching you with a hunger in his eyes.
“Johnny…”
“Run rabbit… run run run…”
Taglist: @yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666 @bestbookfriends @thriving-n-jiving @cutiecusp @shikigami-the-paper-spirit
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blues824 · 2 years ago
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hello! First of all i enjoy your writing alot! Can u write an imagine/headcanons of Malleus, Riddle and ruggie (seperatly) with a Fem! Reader who's obsessed with shopping and drags them excitedly to the mall? Reader has them trying on outfits like a silly fashion show and etc! And can u make them and the reader in a relationship already? Thank you i hope you're doing well! 💗💗
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Because you only requested three characters, I am making the scenarios longer.
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Riddle Rosehearts
He just can’t find it in himself to say no to you when you ask him with puppy dog eyes if you two could go to the mall on the weekend. Plus, Trey and Cater pointed out that you had been following each of the Queen’s rules as well as maintaining a good grade in all of your classes, and thus deserved a break like this.
So it was a date that the Housewarden found himself very excited for. It wasn’t everyday that he got to take his girlfriend off of campus and go do something she liked to do, so this was a once-in-a-while opportunity. The town wasn’t far away from NRC either; just at the bottom of the mountain that NRC was built upon. Thus you wouldn’t waste a bunch of time commuting.
When Saturday rolled around, he heard a knock on his dorm room as he was getting ready. He opened the door to see you in a casual outfit, ready to head out. He was ready too, and he made sure that he had his wallet before leaving. As you both exited the Heartslabyul doors, he yelled out to Trey that he would be in charge while he was away with you. You took him by the hand as you dragged him to the bus that was taking students down the mountain.
During the bus ride, he was looking up some of the stores that were within the mall. You were peering over his shoulder as you made an effective plan on the places you were going to visit, since you were aware that Riddle preferred to have this kind of thing organized. You then pressed a kiss to his cheek and thanked him for agreeing to come with you, and he just had a dopey grin as his mind went completely empty.
Within the mall, you just let out a gasp as you looked at the huge building. You turned to look at Riddle and he asked you where you wanted to head to first. You pointed to a nearby clothing store that had a dress in the window that looked super cute, and he took your hand in his before leading you inside. You took him to the dressing rooms after choosing a few different outfits, and you asked which ones he liked more. There were a few that exposed a bit more skin than he was comfortable with, so he was definitely flustered for a few minutes.
The next store was actually a men’s store, so he was kind of confused as to why you chose to go there. You said that he needed a few more outfits and maybe even a few matching ones like you had so that people could tell that you were a couple. You picked a few that you thought he would like and you had him go try them on. You sat outside of the changing rooms, scrolling through some of your friends’ Magicam posts when your boyfriend called your name.
You looked up and saw that he was wearing some black pants, a white button up, and a red sweater over it. You stood and walked over to him to adjust his collar, and as you were doing that he asked if he looked alright. You gave him a kiss on the lips as you stated that it looked great, and you asked if he felt comfortable as he was the one wearing it. He nodded his head, so you went to the cashier to purchase the clothes before making your way to the next store.
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Ruggie Bucchi
The only concern he has is how much money he’s going to be spending, but you told him that you had been working at the Mostro Lounge to save up money for this, and that Leona offered to loan some money as well (totally not because you threatened to wake him up with ice cold water every morning and drag him by the tail to classes if he didn’t). So, he was pretty excited to go with you.
As the days ticked by, the hyena was getting more and more excited. Honestly, it was annoying to the Savanaclaw Housewarden because Ruggie kept messing things up because he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing. You weren’t in a very different state, considering it was the first time in a while where you were able to go on a proper date with your hard working boyfriend.
When Saturday arrived, he was super happy. He got ready in just five minutes before he ran to your dorm, where you were about to head to Savanaclaw. After laughing at the coincidence, Ruggie took your hand in his and pulled you to the bus that was taking students to the village at the bottom of the mountain. Because it was 9 in the morning, it was a bit chilly, so you squeezed his hand because it was warm.
If we’re being honest, this trip was a spontaneous thing that you wanted, so he was just going to be following you around. He listened intently as you went on about some of the stores you saw online and how you wanted to visit as many stores as possible. His tail was definitely wagging in pure happiness at just being able to be with you when he’s been so busy lately.
Anyways, he wasn’t surprised when you spotted a really cute outfit in one of the shops’ windows and dragged him in. He would be the kind to look at different articles of clothing and hold them up to you, trying to picture an entire outfit. You brought the right guy for the job, as he’s done this before a few times but in thrift stores. Actually, he had a pretty decent sense of style, and you saw that in the outfit he came with you in.
After you got some food at the food court, you spotted a store that you wanted to go into. Ruggie was just going to follow you without a word, but he noticed that it was for men’s apparel. He, too, was very confused as to why you wanted to go in there, and you said that you wanted to buy him an outfit that matched the one you had purchased from one of the prior stores. The entire idea was absolutely adorable, and so he went to try on the clothes.
A few moments later, he emerged from the changing room in a light orange hoodie with some distressed jeans. You chose the hoodie because 1) you could steal it when Ruggie wore it enough so that it smelled like him and 2) it matched a dress you got earlier. He asked if you chose the hoodie to steal it, and you just shushed him jokingly as you hugged him. The hyena started laughing before wrapping his arms around you in return.
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Malleus Draconia
This man was so happy when you asked him if he would go to the mall with you on the weekend, because he never gets invited to anything. Plus, a date with his beloved sounds absolutely amazing, so he asked Lilia if he could go. The bat fae was definitely very excited, so he cleared Malleus’s schedule as well as informed the other two knights that he would not need a security detail for a simple date. Sebek was kind of hysterical, but this isn’t about him.
He could have very well manipulated time and made it move faster, but he knew that patience was rewarded. The entirety of Diasomnia could sense the pure joy radiating from the dragon fae, and did their best to make sure that no one or no thing got in the way of his good mood. He, however, didn’t notice because the only thing he paid attention to was the way you were also beaming about your date.
Malleus had to admit to his retainers as well as his guardian that he had no idea what to wear to something as casual as a date to the mall. All of his clothing was either for school, or for more formal occasions. He opted on some black dress pants as well as a white button-up and some comfortable dress shoes, and he grabbed the flowers he purchased before and showed up at Ramshackle. The gesture made you a bit flustered, but you put the bouquet in a vase of water and took his hand in yours and led him to the bus.
During the ride to the bottom of the mountain, he asked you why you wanted to go on the vehicle rather than just allow him to teleport you there. You told him that you knew that as a royal member, he might not have had experience with the life of an ‘ordinary commoner’ and thus wanted to provide that perspective. He then said that you were not an ordinary commoner, but rather the princess to his prince.
You made a joking comment that he looked like your sugar daddy instead of your boyfriend, especially since he insisted that he pays for everything you wanted while you were there. He didn’t get it, but it didn’t matter. Then, you spotted a dress that looked so cute, and Malleus waited outside of the dressing room. He thought it looked absolutely beautiful on you when you came out and gave him a bit of a twirl. This guy has a whole other way of testing out the length of dresses. He will dip you down and kiss you in front of everyone to see where it raises on your leg. So that’s what he did, and he seemed satisfied with the modesty of the length.
Anyways, you brought him to the food court so that the two of you could get a bite to eat. He made you laugh by saying that he preferred the fast food over Lilia’s cooking, and he was practically inhaling his food. Once you were finished, you started walking through the mall when you spotted a men’s store. Your prince here was kind of confused as to why you wanted to go in there, and you said that he needed some casual outfits and you dragged him into the shop.
There, you immediately spotted some black ripped jeans as well as a few muscle t-shirts and hoodies that you had him try on. He admitted that he did like how the shirts outlined his muscles so that he could impress you a tad more. Also, the clothes were a lot more comfortable than the formal things he typically wears, so he purchased them and walked out wearing them. All in all, you both considered this date successful.
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onim5 · 7 months ago
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Isekai Au
Chapter 1: The beginning
Portgas D. Ace x Female Reader
Warnings: um, Ace fighting.
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Ace fought Black Beard with all his might. Refusing to back down. Though, after big attacks from both, Ace collapses in pain. Black Beards laughs and grabs him at the neck. "Men chain him, we give him to the navy, and then I become a war lord!" Blackbeard laughs.
Ace groaned in pain, and then some words an old lady said to say if he ever needs escape. She was a kind old lady, so he would do it, even though it was embarrassing. "%^~`°$%>♤£¥!?&÷/×%=+." Blackbeard laughed at him again as expected. "I didn't hear that, mind repeating?" He asked, squeezing Ace's neck.
"I don't . . . . . " Blackbeard watched, surprised as Ace disappeared in front of his eyes. "What the?" He let out as Ace disappeared completely.
Ace opened his eyes and took in his soroundings. It was dark and dusty. On both of his sides, high towering walls stood. Ace slowly crawled in pain and leaned on one. "Where am I?" He whispered. In one direction, he found a lot of people walking past. And on the other more people walked past. Could he ask one for help? What other choice does he have?
"Hey, lady. Could you perhaps lend a hand?" He mumbled out to a woman walking past. As expected, she didn't hear. Ace frowns in disapair, though he couldn't blame her. "Huh?" Ace glanced up at the woman, now standing before him. "I'm slow, sorry. Do you need help?" She asked, concerned. "Yeah, you wouldn't mind?" He asked, his voice low and scratchy. "I call an ambulance." She said, holding up a flat weird thing. "Don't I just need food and a long nap, then I be fine." Ace mumbled again.
"Oh, okay. You can come with me, I guess. Can you walk?" She asked. Ace very slowly stood up. Losing balance, the lady grabbed him and then allowed him to lean on her. "It's not far." She states.
"The names Ace, Portgas D. Ace." He introduced himself. "I'm Y/n." You see that building. It's the place." You told pointing at a tall skyscraper. After quite a long time, they made it into the building. Ace tried to make them change direction to the stairs, but instead, they ended up going into a small room with a weird door. "Your place is quite small. It's nice, though." Ace states, but she just looked super weird at him. "I don't live in an elevator." You answered, pushing some buttons.
Ace felt so motion sick. As he could feel the room move. He grabbed a pole that hung on the side and practically clung to Omin. After a short while, the room stopped, and the doors opened. Ace stumbled out with you. And then you got out a key and opened the door before him.
Soon laying down on a couch. Ace finally relaxed his body and fell asleep. You, on the other hand, started to cook. Glancing now and then at the sleeping man.
Why did you take him in? What if he's a criminal? If he is, he will regret messing with you. After all, you're a lawyer.
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End of chapter 1.
Chapter 2.
Chapter 3.
Chapter 4.
Masterlist
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admirationandromantics · 3 months ago
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Confidently Unconfident
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Oh my lord, had to take so many breaks while writing this (wink wink), but I tried to add as much as possible from the request. I made it a little my own as well, but take it however you like. If you're unsure about what it's about, just read the request. For context, the group is at the lodge, au where the game never happened. Again, as I've done in the past, my blog is 18+!! Just putting that out there. So please, enjoy the story guys <3
Word count: 1,8k (unedited)
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Jessica and sesbian lex occupy 100% of my thoughts (ovulation hits hard, we all know) I haven't seen any stories from you with this wonderful girl yet, maybe this will be the first...anyways, I really like to imagine Jess as a bisexual, more inclined towards men, and I got the idea of ​​​​a little story of Jessica's first time with an experienced girl :) I think it should be super cute! btw i think she would often ask "what should i do know? how was it? does it feel good?", and it would be just adorable! also, I think it's worth adding that in sex with a woman, Jess seems to me in the bottom position, when with a man, I think she more often takes the top! So after reader notices Jessica's concern and nervousness, she will say "don't worry, let me guide you, I'll show you"... THAT'S IT -anon
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“Hey, Jess, are you okay?” Emily asks her, nudging her. I look over as I notice she’s pulled away from her trance, eyes leaving me and going to Emily, trying to explain herself. 
I’ve noticed how she looks at me, stolen glances when she thinks I’m not looking, wondering how it would be. I’ll not lie, I have thought about it myself, and it doesn’t take a genius to understand that she goes both ways. She has always had this quality about her, being super flirty is one of them, but never with girls. It’s like she’s intimidated by us, scared we’ll hurt her if she makes her move, coming out of her shell. Sometimes, I even look back at her, making sure she knows I caught her red handed. 
At the last parties, both of us have made a couple of getaways. Making out in the hallway, or finding another secluded area. It never went further than that though, always something getting in the way. It could be Emily, who wanted us both to check her make-up, Ashley or Sam who wanted to tell me something. Even sometimes Mike, who oddly wanted to drunkenly meet up with Jess. Every time we’ve been together and heard his voice, I always see her eyes rolling, sick and tired of the games he’s playing. I guess she really is over that small crush she had. 
As she looks up again, I nudge my head in the direction of one of the guest rooms in the lodge, hoping she catches the idea. A small smile creeps up on her face, a little too noticeable. If only the others knew what I was thinking. 
“I’m going to the bathroom” I declare, getting up with a loud groan. I walk up the stairs, stopping at the top to make sure she follows. 
“Does anyone have a blue eyeliner I can borrow?” 
“I do!” Jess shouts back, getting on her feet and making her way up. Her bubbly and eager nature doesn’t alert anyone, as she normally loves putting makeup on people. That’s one of the reasons Emily always wants her help. 
I walk to the first guest room that comes up, which luckily is mine. To be sure she sees, I leave the door a tad bit open, looking at myself in the mirror and fixing my hair. I really should’ve made sure my makeup was on point, especially if I was planning on seeing her like this. I lick my thumb, trying to straighten out my brow, making it look a bit more put together. 
“You look stunning tonight” her voice sounds from the opening. It’s followed by the door shutting and the sound of the lock clicking. I turn, meeting her gaze as she walks slowly over. She’s wearing a light blue, square neck top. Not too much cleavage, but still a significant amount. I almost can’t take my eyes off her, the outfit composed perfectly, her hair in a bun on the back of her head, small strands of hair hanging in front of her face, making it obvious that she hurried on her way here. 
None of us waste time, collapsing in each other’s touch, my hands going to her cheek and back, while hers rest behind my neck and on my waist. Just her touch alone makes me giddy, her small fingertips grabbing the hem of my top, using it to pull me further into her. She moves us slowly, guiding me backwards until my legs hit the bed, making me fall down on the mattress. She smiles, getting down on top of me as I shuffle us both to the middle so we have room to move. 
“I know what you’ve been thinking” I whisper between kisses, making her gasp as I grope her thigh. 
“Oh, really?” 
“Yeah” 
“Tell me what I’ve been thinking about then” she teases, pushing my back down again. My eyes widen a bit, a small smile on my lips. I’m surprised by her forwardness, and her eagerness to take control. 
“You’ve been thinking about me fucking the shit out of you. Using my mouth on you till morning, when your body is so overstimulated you can barely get up” I drag her top off, revealing a beautiful light gray lace bra. 
“You’re making it hard for me to keep my composure” she whispers, letting me sit up so she can drag my top over my head, throwing it on the floor. “Well, isn’t that the point?” 
“It would be, if that was my plan” 
I smile, feeling her lips work their way down my jaw and neck. 
“Then tell me, what have you been imagining?” 
She smirks, biting her lip as she slowly unbuttons my pants, dragging the zipper down. 
“Your moans and whines, getting you off and making you come on my tongue while you scream my name” 
“Fuck, Jess…” 
���Mhm, keep saying my name like that and I might have to work a little on myself as well” 
I lean back, feeling her hands drag the denim down and off my feet. Fucking hell, I can already feel my heat pooling, craving her touch more than I’ve ever done before. I sit still, feeling my legs almost shake from anticipation. Her hands go to my inner thighs, feeling the soft skin, leaving kisses all over before hooking them over her shoulders. I wait for a couple of seconds, upper body rising a bit to see her. 
She’s sitting there, eyes closed and taking a deep breath. I watch, she still hasn't noticed that I’m sitting up. She looks stressed, unsure. I lift my legs off her shoulders, making her awake from her trance, looking at me worriedly. I sit completely up, taking her hands in mine. 
“Hey, is something wrong?” 
“N-no, I just. I’ve never done this before” she whispers, voice suddenly vulnerable, the previous confidence gone. 
“You’ve never had sex before?” 
“With a girl, I mean” she explains, looking up, guilt coating her features. I try my best to give a comforting smile, hand going to her cheek, hoping to calm her nerves. 
“We’ve all been there, it’s scary. And there’s no stress, we can wait, we don’t have to do it-” I start, but she interrupts me, shaking her head vigorously. 
“No! I want to do this, I do, right now. I’m just, a little unsure about the process” 
“Want me to guide you, or go down on you first? I promise you, I’m not expecting anything major the first time, one usually needs to get to know the other before things start to get easier” 
“Ugh, just you saying all of that makes me want to do you so much more!” she whines, head falling in my lap from disappointment. I laugh, bringing her head up again and leaving a kiss on her lips. 
“I know I act all confident and stuff, but this is all so new to me” 
“I understand, everything was new for someone once, I get why you’re frustrated” I whisper, pulling back slightly, letting our noses brush against each other, both of us breathing heavily. 
“And I just want to make you feel good” 
“You will” 
“You don’t know that”
“Of course I do, you’ve already made me a dripping mess, every touch you give me, all the time sparks shoots through me. You have literally no idea how down bad I am for you” 
“You are?” 
“I am” 
A small smile creeps up on her lips, that knowing confidence starting to find its way back. She pushes me down again, starting to kiss my thighs again. My breathing quickens, lips parting as she bites my flesh, causing a loud moan to interrupt her attack. She looks quickly up at me, noticing my heaving chest and flushed face. Safe and satisfied, she leans down again, sucking and biting, getting closer and closer to my heat. 
Her hand ghosts over the soaked fabric, making my legs twitch. Fingers hook the underwear, dragging the piece off, exposing me to the cold lodge air. She watches in awe, tracing the wetness, curious and inexperienced. I almost chuckle from her hesitation, lifting my head to see her tilting her head to the side. 
“You good, Jess?” 
“Oh! Yeah, yeah I am, so… What do I do now?” 
“Think of when you’re pleasuring yourself, or what you want someone to do to you, or if you’re not the type to figure stuff out, I can just tell you what I like right n- oh fuck!” I suddenly gasp, her tongue licking over my click, the surprising sensation sending shivers through my body. I grab the sheets, trying to control my legs, forcing them apart so as to not squish her head. 
“Mhm, does it feel good?” she whispers, her breath sending hot small vibrations on me, making me bulk my hips to her for more. 
“Y-Yes, please keep going” I plead, already feeling myself get breathless, pulse in the hundreds as my chest goes up and down rapidly. She continues, fingers making their way to my folds, stroking the lips. 
“Do you want me to?” 
“Yes, Jessica” I manage to whimper out, my voice weak and muttered. The sound alone makes her confidence rise, feeling her lips smirk against me. She continues, beginning to such my clit, causing a wave of moans to leave my throat. She pushes two of her thin fingers inside me, going as deep as she can, still stimulating my nerves with her mouth. My back arch, head being thrown back on the sheets as I try to contain my volume, afraid the others will hear. 
She pulls out her fingers, using the time to experiment with her mouth, sticking her tongue inside me, eating me out while rubbing my throbbing area. I can’t help the whimpers that escape me, each of her touches contributing to the tension-filled knot in my stomach. My core builds up, getting hotter as my mind fries, everything becoming blurry. 
“Am I doing good?” she asks, stopping for a bliss moment before continuing. I try to muster out words, as if the sounds coming out of me isn’t a big indication of the answer. 
“Y-you’re doing so well, y-yes” 
She keeps up her rhythm, several types of stimulations as I draw near the edge, legs shaking around her as she rests one of her hands on my stomach. I finish all over her, immense pleasure shooting through my body as I relax, letting her help me ride it out. She pushes herself up, laying down beside me, licking her fingers dry before making them walk up my stomach and chest. 
“So, how was it?” 
“Do I need to answer?” I ask, breathless while still being a bit brain-fucked. 
“Mhm, you do” 
“I-I, fuck, I did not expect you to make me come the first time” 
“I guess I’m a quick learner” she smiles, leaning over me and capturing my lips in hers.
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