#england wnt

[flemingology]

christmas request - you get sexy christmas lingerie and surprise leah with a lapdance (which inevitably leads to smut)

unwrapping you ─ leah williamson x reader

part of my christmas series. full masterlist here!

in which: you leave leah's best surprise for last

warnings: implied smut (18+), lap dance, language but also a whole load of fluff

wc: 3.9k

a/n: most unrealistic part in this fic is chicken soup and sandwiches being one of leah fav foods (god forbid that woman eats something colored). in other words... how does one write a lap dance????? this is not full-blown smut. i didn't really feel like including that in this series, but i hope i still did your request justice. <3

Your first Christmas with Leah had been perfect.

Your lover woke you up this morning to breakfast in bed, Leah wanting to make use of the fact she finally perfected the one recipe she knew – fluffy pancakes. You thanked her accordingly with a couple fierce kisses that soon turned into way more than either of you had planned, the two of you finally rolling out of bed a good two hours later, messy hair and flushed cheeks a testament to what you had been up to in bed.

You took a warm shower together, and then set foot outside for a light Sunday morning stroll through London's Christmas markets. You walked side by side, one hand occupied with holding Leah's, other hand nursing a hot chocolate. You took your time on each stall, admiring all the handmade ornaments, pieces of clothing and so many other things that were up for sale. You managed not to spend too much, not getting anything more than a small extra present for your sister and a cute little ornament you would add to your table decoration for the team dinner on New Year's Day.

Back home, you made a quick lunch. You heated up some leftovers from the night before, when you made chicken soup and some sandwiches, one of Leah's self-proclaimed favorite dishes that you made. You spent the rest of the afternoon lounging about, gliding from one Friends episode into the other, drifting in and out of sleep in each other's arms on the couch.

It wasn't until evening came around though, that the best part of the day took place. You had kept the best for last; the presents. Normally you weren't one to wait for the evening, but Leah claimed that it would be cozier, and you had to agree. Your apartment was coated in a warm glow from the mood lighting all around, a couple vanilla-scented candles adding to the cozy atmosphere, you and your blonde lover cuddled up on the couch, a pile of unopened presents ready to be attacked on your coffee table.

As promise to one another, neither of you went overboard. Leah had quite the tendency to spoil you, but you wanted none of that. And to your surprise, she actually stuck to her promise. There were 5 presents on the coffee table; 2 for your girlfriend and 3 for you. Unbeknownst to Leah, though, her 3rd and arguably best present of the night, was already unpacked and waiting for her under your layer of clothes.

A couple days ago, while Leah was at training, you ventured out into the busy streets of London for a final surprise for your girlfriend. You were more than happy with the two presents you had at hand, but you couldn't shake the thought in your mind that had been there for the past couple of weeks, to buy a new set of red, lace lingerie – one that you knew would drive her completely nuts.

So with that secret in mind, you and Leah started opening your presents. She insisted you opened the first one.

"For you, my love," she said, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as she handed you the first of her presents, the smallest one. You inspected the envelope, not able to make much from it on first glance. It looked elegant, though, a golden glow coming from the paper. You carefully opened the envelope, revealing a light green card with pastel accents. You couldn't really figure out what it was just yet, but with a little nudging from your girlfriend in the right direction, your eyes lit up as it dawned on you. "You booked us a weekend away?"

Leah nodded, a soft hum leaving her lips. "I know you've been wanting to get away for a little while," she started, taking one of your hands in hers. "I've been busy. You've been busy. But we can take a couple days for ourselves and for us. It'll be nice." Leah had a tentative look on her face, her eyes scanning yours, as if she was gauging whether you were actually happy with this.

Leah was right. The two of you had been extremely busy lately – your girlfriend's football schedule ramping up, and it seemed like the winter months had brought an influx of people wanting to buy estate, leaving you with a tremendous amount of work that you more often than not also took home.

You quickly gave Leah a fierce nod after you realized you got caught up in your thoughts, leaning towards her and pressing a soft kiss against her lips. "Thank you, I love this. I love you. We need it. It'll be good," you mumbled against her lips, your hand cupping her cheek and giving her another peck before you pulled away.

"My turn," you said excitedly. You grabbed the smallest one, a square box delicately wrapped in an elegant-looking black wrapping paper with silver accents. "This looks neat," Leah chuckled, and you bit your lip in apprehension as you handed her your first present. Unlike you, Leah wasn't so delicate with unwrapping presents. She was all ripping and tearing, nothing graceful about her movements. She'd never been a patient one when it came to things like these, and in all fairness, you couldn't blame her. Forever a kid at heart, Leah loved presents.

You got pulled out of your thoughts when you heard a faint gasp escaping your lover's throat. You searched Leah's eyes for any emotion but you couldn't read it, your heart starting to beat a little faster. "Babe, this is...," Leah inspected her present a little closer, "this is gorgeous." She carefully lifted the golden watch out of it's holder and held it in the light, the timepiece brightly reflecting the cozy hue in your apartment.

You'd first gotten the idea when you noticed Leah was online shopping the other day, looking for a new watch. You knew she liked to have a couple, alternating between them based on what outfit she'd wear. She'd been speaking about a new golden one for a while now, the one she had had lasted its time and she wanted a new one. Ever the observer, you'd made a mental note. A perfect Christmas gift.

Leah sported a bright smile, her gaze now pointed towards you. "Thank you, I've been looking at getting a new one, this is perfect," Leah took your hand in hers and gave it an appreciative squeeze, putting the watch back in it's holder and carefully placing the box back on the coffee table. "You could wear it with the black suit you have for New Year's Eve, it'd look really good," you said softly, Leah replying with nothing more than a suggestive wink.

Your blonde lover reached back over to the presents, grabbing a little silver bag and handing it to you. "We're staying in theme," Leah chuckled. You raised your eyebrows at her before your fingers made quick work of untying the knot, revealing a fine, silver necklace with a little L on. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you took in your present, admiring the way it glistened. "I know this seems like I'm basically claiming you, but I wouldn't have bought you this if you hadn't told me about a million times that you wanted one of these."

You let out a breathy laugh, throwing your head back against the couch. "Just for the record, I have no problem with you claiming me." You locked eyes with your girlfriend and saw a little twinkle in hers, to which you surged forward and pressed a firm kiss against her lips. "Thank you. You wanna help putting it on?" Leah nodded eagerly and twisted her body towards yours, clasping the necklace around your neck. Her fingers ghosted over the L that now hung between your collarbones. She kissed your lips once more, lingering a little before she pulled away again and sat upright.

Your next present for Leah was something you knew she'd be over the moon with. Arsenal through and through, your girlfriend had been collecting vintage Arsenal kits ever since you remember. Signed, worn, match kits, training kits, your wardrobe was full with her Arsenal memorabilia. There was one missing though, Arsenal's home shirt from the 2005/06 season, their last year at Highbury. You stumbled across it on Vinted a couple months ago and couldn't believe that it hadn't been picked up yet. The shirt was in perfect state, Thierry Henry's name and number splayed out on the back of it. You paid no mind to the price and ordered it immediately, knowing just how happy your girlfriend would be with it.

You passed her your second present. She felt around a little. "It's definitely clothing." She fumbled around a bit longer with the wrapping paper, before you interrupted. "Le, baby, how about you just open it and see what's inside instead of guessing." Her cheeks blushed a faint red but she complied nonetheless, once again very ungracefully tearing away at the wrapping paper.

Leah's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she took sight of the burgundy shirt. You couldn't really tell with the lack of proper lighting in the room, but you swear you saw a couple unshed tears in her eyes. She quickly made work of the plastic layer around the shirt, holding it up in front of her. "Check the back," you said softly, reaching out towards your girlfriend and resting your hand on her leg that was slightly bouncing, testament to her excitement.

Leah turned the shirt around and you saw her smile growing impossibly bigger. "Babe, genuinely, what the fuck." You chuckled and shuffled closer to her, leaning your head on her shoulder and admiring the shirt along with her. "Nice one, eh?" Leah turned her face towards you and she cocked an eyebrow. "Nice? This isn't just 'nice', this is incredible," Leah scoffed. She turned the shirt back around, feeling the fabric, checking the label, as if she was still not sure whether this was real. "God, you've outdone yourself, y/n. I can't top this."

A smile tugged on the corners of your lips, pressing a soft kiss against Leah's cheek. "I knew you'd love it." Leah folded the shirt neatly and put it down on the coffee table next to the watch, turning her body towards yours. She cupped your cheeks and pressed a tender kiss against your lips, saying so much more than words could grasp. "You're amazing. I love you so much."

Leah pecked your lips another couple times before she retreated and set back against the armrest of the couch. "If I knew an Arsenal shirt was all it would take for you to be so expressive with you love, I wouldn't have waited this long," you said teasingly, earning a grunt and a playful swat at your thigh from your lover. "I am expressive with my love. Don't start on me!" A light giggle fell from your lips and waved away any further protest by grabbing Leah's hand and pressing a soft kiss against her palm. "You've got one more from me," Leah announced giddily, removing her hand from yours and grabbing the final present from the table. "This one's a bit more... sentimental."

You raised your eyebrows at your girlfriend, trying to read anything into her expression, but failing. "Sentimental...," you pried. "Yeah. Just open it. You'll see." You took the present from Leah's hands, the package laying relatively heavy in your hands. You carefully unwrapped it, each tear of the paper revealing a little more of Leah's final present. Eventually, you realized what it was. A handmade book of the last three years of your relationship. The book was littered with polaroids, screenshots of messages, souvenirs from places you went together, movie tickets, little notes you left for her to find on days you were out the country, and so many more. You could feel a stray tear making its way down your cheek as you scrolled your way through the book, catching it as quick as possible before it could fall on the paper and ruin anything. "Gosh, Leah,..." you mumbled, "sentimental is one way to put it, yeah," you said, muttering out the words past the obvious lump in your throat, sniffling a couple times as the memories unfolded underneath your fingers.

"You like it?" Leah's voice sounded small, and it almost agitated you, because you didn't even know how to begin voicing to her how much this meant to you. Leah wasn't one for the big romantic gestures, nor was she very showy with her affection, so for her to do something like this, to put so much time and effort into handcrafting this, it meant the world to you. You lifted your head and locked your gaze with your girlfriend's, a small frown etched between your eyebrows. "Le, please,..." you breathed, "do I like it?" You scoffed, and shook your head lightly at how ridiculous you found the question. "This means so much to me, Leah, you know that." You felt the blonde nudge a little closer to you, resting her head on your shoulder and looking at the polaroid your fingers seemed to linger on. "Remember that night?" she said softly, pressing a soft kiss against your shoulder.

"Of course I do," you said matter-of-factly. It was a polaroid you'd taken on the first time Leah slept over at your apartment. You'd been over at hers plenty of times, but somehow her sleeping over at yours felt like a step up. She'd come over and brought your favorite Italian take-away. Initially you both insisted on cooking together, but a long day at respectively football and work lulled you both into the comfort of having a meal prepared for you. You lounged on the sofa for what felt like hours, talking about everything and nothing until you settled for watching a film wrapped in each other's embrace. Somewhere during the night, though, you felt like the air had shifted a little. Touches lingered a little longer, kisses were a little sloppier, leading to the first time you made love to one another later that night. It was messy, clumsy and very nervous, but it was perfect. Perfect, because it was yours.

The memories flooded your mind and you couldn't help the jolt of arousal that coursed through your body upon remembering the events of that night. You leaned your head against Leah's, pressing a kiss against her temple. "As much as I would love to look through all of this right now, I've got one last present for you," you said softly, coaxing her head off your shoulder, carefully closing the handmade book and placing it on the coffee table. You tried to ignore the little insecurity that crept underneath your skin when you thought about Leah's final present. Deep down, you knew she'd love it, but you always felt a little apprehensive about things like this. The lingerie was one thing, the lap dance you were planning on giving her a whole other. "Another one? But it's not on the table?" Leah's eyes scanned around the room, clearly confused as to where you could've hidden another present. "It's not there, Le," you chuckled at the expression on her face. "It's upstairs. You stay here, I'll be right back," you put a hand on her chest and gave her lips a chaste kiss, standing up from the couch and making your way up the stairs before she could quip back a response.

You thanked your former self for having already put on the lingerie before Leah came home this afternoon, one less thing to worry about now in your nervous state. You slipped off Leah's your hoodie and sweatpants you'd been wearing, your girlfriend insisting that she wanted you to spend tonight in cozy clothing. You braved a look at yourself in the full-length mirror in your bedroom, and you felt some of the insecurities melt away. You looked good. The lingerie hugged your body in all the right places, accentuating all the curves you knew Leah loved so much. The longline bra was snug around your waist, the lace perfectly outlining the curve of your breasts. The thin red bottoms left little to the imagination, the waistband – accentuated with a little ribbon – just underneath your belly button. They gave prominence to your strong, tanned legs, likely your favorite thing about this set. You gave yourself an appreciative nod and pulled a robe out of your shared wardrobe, draping it over your half-naked body, giving Leah an extra layer to take off. You quickly decided to also pull a pair of red heels out of your wardrobe, putting them on and making your way out of the bedroom before you could doubt your choice of footwear. You stood at the edge of the stairs and took a steadying breath before you started making your way down. The clicking of your heels alerted Leah immediately, not able to delay her seeing you until you were downstairs.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she took in your outfit, and she put her phone down that she was mindlessly scrolling on to pass some time while you were upstairs. You could see a little glint in her eyes as you took the final step of the stairs, making your way back over to the couch at a tantalizingly slow pace. The air had most definitely shifted, Leah's intense gaze locking with yours as you slowed to a stop right in front of her. A smile tugged at your lips and you grabbed Leah's chin between your thumb and index finger, coaxing her face up towards yours and pressing a dizzying kiss against her lips. "I told you I had one final present," you mumbled against her mouth. "Why don't you discover what's underneath this robe?" You softly bit Leah's bottom lip as you let go of her lips, a lust-filled haze now clouding her eyes as she thought about what could be underneath the robe.

Leah's fingers made quick work of the knot tied around your waist, leaving the piece of clothing to fall to the ground, revealing your lingerie. "Oh," Leah's breath hitched in her throat and you would've grown insecure about her reaction if you hadn't seen the twinkle in her eyes. You were hit by a flurry of confidence and you twirled around, shaking your ass a little while your back was facing her before you turned back to face her. "Fuck, babe, this is..." Your girlfriend's words got caught in her throat as she let her eyes rake over your body once more, making sure she wasn't dreaming. You'd worn lingerie for her a couple times, after she had voiced how much she'd love it if you tried a couple sets. But never had it been a thing outside of the bedroom. You'd worn lingerie sets, worn sets underneath robes for her to discover, but it always happened in the comfort of your own bed. This, though, was a next step. A slight blush coated your cheeks as you felt Leah's intense gaze on you. She reached out one of her hands and looked up to you apprehensively, "Can I?" A smile tugged at your lips and you let out a light chuckle. "I'm all yours."

Leah's hands roamed all over your body, from your waist, to your thighs, to your lace-covered breasts, your calves, your ass, your girlfriend didn't leave a spot untouched. It wasn't long before her touches grew needy, and you put a hand against her chest to stop her, not wanting the rest of her surprise to get lost in her own excitement. "Le, wait," you said. Her eyes flicked up to yours, and you noticed how wide her pupils had gotten. A smirk made its way onto your face as to what would happen next. "You've been so good to me. Let me do this for you, okay?" You didn't await Leah's response. Instead you pulled Leah forward a little, and turned your body around, spreading your legs sitting yourself down on her lap. You couldn't ignore the doubts that crept in your mind about what you were doing, because you had never done anything like this. You'd sat on Leah's lap, plenty of times, but you'd never given her a lap dance. You did your research, naturally, you even watched a couple videos – although you had to click those off due to the abundance of secondhand embarrassment you experienced. Either way, you tried to calm your nerves by thinking how much Leah would love this, no matter how good you were at it. She never failed to voice her love for your bum.

Pulling yourself out of your thoughts, you leaned your back against Leah's chest and gave a tentative roll of your hips against her lap. The slight hitch of your girlfriend's breath didn't go unnoticed to you and it gave you the fire in your belly to continue your ministrations. You started grinding your hips against hers in a steady but slow rhythm. You alternated between moves, gently bouncing up and down Leah's lap or popping your hips every now and then, every reaction you pulled out of your girlfriend fueling your confidence. You could sense Leah was a bit unsure as to what to do with her hands, but as the time went on and she felt herself getting more and more aroused, she started guiding your body along with her hands. She aided your movements, pushing you down against her hips, loving the way your behind brushed her core with every gyration of your hips.

A couple moments passed and an idea popped into your mind. You leaned back into your girlfriend, your head resting on her shoulder as you looked up towards her and your gazes locked, a small frown etched on your face that was driving Leah wild. You locked lips with her and you couldn't hold back the breathy moan that escaped your lips at the feeling of her mouth against yours. The kiss was messy, all tongue and teeth, and it perfectly encapsulated the building pressure between the both of you. You tried moving your hips in an eight-figure, which pulled a groan from your girlfriend. "You're driving me crazy," Leah whispered into your ear, softly nipping at your earlobe as she kept her hands firmly on your waist.

You let out a breathy laugh that soon turned into a whimper as Leah's hands moved up towards your breasts, palming them and placing kisses against your back as you rolled your hips back into hers. One of your arms was placed on Leah's thighs, holding yourself up, and you threw the other around your girlfriend's neck, letting your nails rake over the skin on the back of her neck. Your moves grew frantic as you felt arousal building in your core, your gyrations less measured and less precise, the more Leah's hands started to wander all over your body. Any remnants of your earlier insecurity long washed away, you were more than pleased with how your final present for your girlfriend turned out. "God, Le, you feel so good," you breathed out as you let your head fall to her shoulder once again, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. A particularly harsh thrust of your hips against hers caused Leah to groan again, digging her fingers into your sides as she whispered in your ear.

"Bedroom. Now."

[enwoso]

Maybe younger Williamson reader causing trouble

The setting could be at training

Hope you’re doing well

Have a nice day🫶

DOUBLE TROUBLE — lionesses x williamson!reader

masterlist

you and your big sister leah were polar opposites.

leah had always had a sense of seriousness to her, a strong defender whom always had a frown donning her face in team photos but always seemed to have a strong dress sense to her.

whereas you, you couldn’t be more opposite if you tried. you were a midfielder, an attacking midfielder to be specific and your family were sure you didn’t have a serious bone in your body always finding something funny out of any situation even sometimes when it wasn’t very appropriate as well as not really caring about you wore, if you could you would be in a tracksuit twenty four-seven.

but there was something you and your older sister shared a strong love for and that was football and more specifically a strong love for arsenal.

you both falling in love with the club with each match you went to see when you were growing up before you started playing — and maybe it was a was a little because you wanted to be just like your big sister when you were little, not that you would ever give her the satisfaction of knowing that.

so being with your sister and playing football with your sister both at club level and international level meant you spent a considerable amount of time with each other. and with that you knew exactly what made you sister tick and how to do it quickly sometime at your teammates expense when they would have to deal with the after affect of her.

“y/n! get back here now!” leah huffed as you ran off with her left boot in your hand, rushing down the hallway of st george’s park and placing the bright white boot on the first random shelf you passed, placing it carefully hoping to not knock any memorabilia off the shelf before racing further down the hallway and into the canteen.

a smug smile plastered on your lips which the team had learned to know this meant you were up to no good. “what you up to now, trouble?” beth raised her eyes brows with a knowing smile as you slipped into a seat opposite the blonde as she was sat on a table with alessia and ella.

“pfft me? i wouldn’t ever be causing trouble” you played off as cool as cucumber as you regained a normal breathing pattern. beth giving a knowing look towards alessia and ella as they both nodded, they knew trouble wasn’t far behind you.

“mhm and pigs can fly-“ beth mumbled taking a sip of her drink as a stifled laugh left the lips of both alessia and ella.

“i’m a literal walking angel, ask my mum!” you grinned sweetly, a hum coming from beth knowing that your mum did in fact think you were an angel and could do no harm and so when in practice was something that always riled your older sister up.

you sat there with a smug smile on your face as you joined into the girls’ conversation about the uncoming match in the netherlands, discussing some places you may go if you get the chance on your downtime.

but maybe instead of being so tuned into the conversation you probably should of been watching your surroundings as then may you have seen-

“what the fu- leah!” you screamed as you sister yanked your chair from the table, you almost falling off as the eyes in the room turned to look at what was all the commotion about.

“i’m gonna give you three seconds to tell me exactly where my boot is-“ leah said through gritted teeth, as she pinned your shoulders to the chair. a sense of urgency in her tone as the team was to be out on the fields for training in the next thirty minutes.

“-otherwise you can find yourself doing hill sprints while everyone’s warming up.” leah gave your sarcastic smile as she let out a sigh, a light giggle leaving your lips knowing you had done your job today and officially pissed your older sister off in probably record time, considering it wasn’t even eleven am yet.

“oh c’mon le, you wouldn’t do that to you own sister-” you gave her a loving smile as the blonde just raised an eyebrow, showing no signs of cracking.

“watch me.” leah paused before continuing, a noise of stifled laughs and some pats on the shoulder as some of the team passed, knowing how it was going to end. having seen the situation play out one too many times on camp and at club.

“three-“

a small gasp came from your as you reached up to hold a hand to your chest, as you pouted “your own blood, your baby sister leah. remember that!”

“your twenty two?”

“exactly. your basically a fossil-“ you casually say holding your lips together to hold the laugh that was so desperately trying to escape as a few ooo’s could be heard in the room but quickly where shot down by the death glare that was given to them by their captain.

“two.” leah’s patience was running thin, extremely thin.

“you really need to loosen up le- it’s just a bit of fun.” you shrugged as leah’s face was donned with a deep frown clearly bored of your silly games, you on the other hand were enjoying every second.

“or you just need to grow up?” leah quipped back quickly as the comment left a smirk on your face, your mouth hanging open slightly.

“well at least i won’t have permanent frown marks on my face-“ you mumbled under your breath as that was leah’s final straw, a laugh huff coming from her.

“just tell me where my fucking boot is!” leah voice getting a little louder with each passing word she said as your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“you said i had three seconds and you’ve only-“

“ONE! now for the love of god will you please-“

“mhm since you asked nicely it’s literally been over there the entire time-” you lifted your arm up slightly with the little movement of your arms that you had from them being pinned to the chair by your older sisters firm grip.

leah’s head quickly spinning around to see where you were pointing to, her grip loosening on your shoulders so your took your chance using your strength and bolted out the chair while your sister was focused on scanning the room for her boot which had in fact not been over there the entire time.

but before leah even processed what you’d said, you were out the chair and out the room as chorus of laughter filling the room as a defeated sigh come from your sister.

“she’s such a pest!” leah groaned loudly ironically sitting down on the chair you had just bolted from, leah giving up on chasing you knowing that’s what you wanted her to do.

beth getting up from the table after watching the whole scene take place and getting some enjoyment from it.

“she’s such an angel, our little williamson eh!” beth laughed patting the english captain on the shoulder as a role of the eyes at the comment,

“more like pain in the backside!”

but even with the amount of winding each other up the two of you did to each other, at the end of the day you were sisters and you would always have each others backs.

[mercurycft]

𝐔𝐆𝐇 — 𝐋.𝐖

## reader x leah williamson !! enemies to lovers

hiiiiiii pookies! hope you enjoy this little angsty smutty fic! hopefully ill have some more bits out for you guys over the next few weeks - life is just crazing atm and i spend 99% of my time at work :( anywayyyys - i hope you enjoy this! its a long one - love always - RG x

masterlist here

contains : NOT PROOF READ BC I CBA!!!! angst, enemies to lovers, arrogant!leah, top!leah, oral r receiving, fingering r receiving, caught red handed, foul language.

3.5k words

it's a hot may monday in london - the type of hot that sits at the back of your throat and grabs at your skin harshly. today, you wake up to the day’s first rays of sun peaking through the blinds, a stark contrast to the usual grey, early morning skies. you sigh into the space around you, already feeling sticky and uncomfortable as you roll over, your hand brushing against the empty space in your bed and reaching for your phone to silence your alarm.

you get up - against your will, and begin to get ready for your day. shuffling about your flat, nerves brewing in the pit of your stomach at the mere thought of having to walk into work today, you try to distract your mind. taking your time for your usual routine - overly aware that you have given yourself more time than needed.

it’s your first day back to work. your first full and proper day back in london, and you already find yourself wishing it was the last. you loved your job - loved the people you had met; the people who had become some of your closest friends in the entire world. you worked hard, got your degree and that led you here.

well, truth be told you like most of the people you've met.

leah williamson, however, did not fit into that category. she was arrogant, dismissive. the type of woman that always seemed to be looking down her nose at you - like she was better than you. you tried your hardest to like her; to look past her abrupt and oftentimes rude exterior and personality but you just couldn't.

the way she spoke to you, how she held herself whilst she walked around the grounds - god it had you riled up. nerves raging at the mere thought of being in the same room as her for a prolonged period of time. but alas, you had to remain professional.

you couldn't jeopardise your job, your income - to spite a woman who somehow seems to make it her life mission to aggravate and annoy you. so, instead, you smiled sweetly. spoke extra calmly, all in attempted to be the bigger person.

she didn't make it easy for you with her tanned skin and deep blue eyes - the accent which rolled off her lips gracefully and caused a smile to threaten at your lips every time she spoke.

you weren't the best at staying focused, clearly. finding yourself staring absentmindedly into the bathroom mirror, toothbrush still between your lips whilst the thought of her trickled through the depths of your mind. disgust and attraction tangoed in your stomach; rattling around your organs until you finally ripped your eyes away and continued to get ready.

an hour later you were in the carpark, head leant against the headrest and hands still fixed at the 10 and 2 positions. you spent the next few minutes preparing yourself - taking deep breaths and assuring yourself you would be calm and collected from the minute you walked in.

so you were, armed with your bag slung over your shoulder and a ring-binder tucked beneath your arm you entered - smiling at the few familiar faces around you; all kitted out in their newest and finest training kits. they were earlier than usual, some of them having arrived last night and a couple this morning.

in an ideal world, you would've had time to settle into your day before she arrived. but this is clearly not an ideal world. after exchanging pleasantries with the girls loitering in the foyer, you said a brief and collective goodbye and headed towards your office.

through the double doors, round to the right and through the hallway. it wasn't far, but by the time you had rounded the corner your shoulder had began to ache from your bag and the folder had started to jab into your side. you knew the route like th eback of your hand, having wandered through these halls on numerous occasions after the last few years.

so, your head stayed tucked into your phone. too focused on the screen below you to notice the body slumped against the wall beside your office door, or the way it shifted to face you as you neared.

"you're late." you knew who it was before your eyes even lifted to meet theirs.

"williamson, to what do i owe this pleasure?" you exhaled, rolling your eyes out of view when you turned to unlock your door.

"you're late."

"your watch is fast."

this was usually how your interactions went, you tried to keep them to a minimum - but when you did talk, this was pretty much the usual.

"have you had a chance to look over the new schedules yet? i've had them emailed to you." she continued, paying to mind or attention to anything previously spoken.

"oh yes, please come in." you sneered as she followed into the room behind. you flicked on the lights and put your folder down on the desk, along with your bag. they hit the wood with a thud and you turned around to face her as she continued speaking.

"well, did you?"

"considering you just watched me walk in, what do you think?" you threw back with a raised eyebrow and a wide expression.

"arsehole." she muttered as she left, turning away from you like a toddler and almost swinging the door off of its hinges on her way out.

"oh captain williamson how you have hurt me. prick." you whispered below your breath sarcastically, face screwed up in a childish manner as you slumped into your seat with a grumble.

it wasn't always like this, bitter and short. there was a time when you and leah actually managaed to tolerate eachother, you were almost friends. then, when leah suffered her ACL injury - the dynamic did a full flip. she was knocked by the full force of her harsh, new reality. she was angry at the world, angry that the one thing she loved most was ripped from beneath her feet in a matter of seconds.

you, in charge of her recovery, were the closest and clearly most obvious thing to blame - so she did. every set back, every minor issue - was thrown onto you and your apparant incompetance to care for your players, your team. you paid it no mind, plagued with sympathy for her.

you had assumed once she recovered and her time spent rebuilding her strength was completed, that maybe she was ease up. that she would stop the snide comments or glaring stares across the room. you assumed wrong. instead she insisted on acting like a child, everyday. at first you tried to rise above, not letting her have an affect on you but everytime she spoke you felt your stomach physiclaly recoiling; twisting with anger. so eventually, you came to terms with it and you stopped taking it.

——————

the day drags on, your various appointments come and go and you can finally feel the end of the day nearing. people had started popping their heads in to say goodbye's and exchange see you tomorrow's and now it was just you and a few others who remained in the building. today had dragged and the thought of your bed was the only thing keeping you going. it was nearly 6pm when you had finally finished the reports and notes you needed to complete and just as you start to gather up your things the door ahead of you flies open.

“are you taking the piss?” leah. you inhale deeply at the sound of her voice bellowing through the room - careful to remind yourself of where you are.

“hm?” you dont even look up, seemingly unbothered by her presence and still flicking through the documents and papers littered across your desk. you can feel her fume from across the space, the humorous thought of her literally bursting into flames threatens a pinched smile to tug at your lips.

“i’ve been ringing you since lunch!”

“oh, i haven’t noticed.”

“why do you have to make it your daily goal to fuck me off, y/n!” she pauses and a weighted silence brews between you. “funnily enough it’s actually your job to pick up your phone!” she continues, hands waving about beside her. “especially when it’s me calling you! don’t you think that when you see my name flash up, that maybe you should fucking answer. your. pho-”

“no, leah!” your hands hit the desk palm flat with a smack, the fire behind your eyes fuelled by the sting across the skin. she’s loud, but you can be louder. “i dont, because funnily enough, i don’t answer to you!”

after starting you couldn’t stop, eight months of tongue biting and insult swallowing has come back to bite you in the back side - and now, the words came vomiting out with no sight of when they will stop.

“you don’t pay my wages!” you hold one finger up, pointing at her viciously. “you don’t get to come in here and bark orders at me!” quick breath. “you may be ‘captain williamson’ out there, on that pitch.” your finger moves to point out the window at the grassy area beyond the building. “but in here, through that door-” it moves to punctuate your sentence. “you are just leah! and i don’t know what gives you the right to come in here, day in day out and berate me!”

"you know thats-"

"all i do is listen to you speak, and comment and now fucking shout at me! in my office! and i am sick. sick! of hearing your voice ringing in my ears because you think you are better than everyone else! well earth to leah - the sun doesn't shine out of your fucking arse!"

too consumed by the anger radiating between you and the words flying off your tongue, you hadn't noticed how you had now moved from the safety of your desk. instead, you stood no more than a metre before her. skin on fire as you stared into her eyes and let all of the compressed anger bubble to the surface.

you both shared a moment of hefty quiet, chests heaving in sync as you collected your thoughts and your mouth opened again.

"you are rude." a step closer. "you are arrogant." another. "you are nasty." one more. "and you are truly, utterly and entirely a giant pain in my arse." you had travelled closer than intended during your rant, and now you stood inches from her. jaw clenched and breath shuddering when your eyes levelled once more.

the rage you felt overpowered every ounce of logic left in your brain, and you felt a wave of disgust crash over you when you found yourself softening at the smell of her sweet, vanilla perfume.

you were adamant this time, this was the last time she spoke to you like that. of the last time she spoke to you at all, you didn't really care.

"you're a bitch." she spat back into the small and enclosed space between you. you felt your breath catch in your throat as you realise that there may well be a possibility she's right.

maybe its the adrenaline pumping through your veins and intoxicating your bloodstream, or maybe its the way her hair has started to fall in front of her eyes as she heaves for breath in front of you, but t he air feels electric, and you sense the same awareness in her.

without a word exchanged, she steps forward and reaches for you. you don't know what you expected - but instead of pushing you away she pulls you towards her. you stumble slightly, unable to shake off her grip and leaning into her fingertips unintentionally.

there's a pause, a shift.

the air surrounding you suddenly too thick to inhale, grazing the back of your throat as your lungs are deprived of their need for oxygen. her eyes bore into your own, and you're sure, just for a split second - a wicked smirk pulls her lips into a lopsided and overly cocky line.

then she's on you, her lips against yours - fierce, unforgiving. you move with no real method, lips fighting against each other and teeth clashing. her teeth pull against your bottom lip roughly and you hiss, stomach contorting at the feel of her smile against the now sensitive skin of your lips.

you shouldn't want this, this shouldn't be happening. the little voice inside your head, the voice of reason is silenced when her hands move to your waist - gripping at the fabric of your top and leading you backwards towards your desk. your lips don't leave hers, worried if you come up for air you'll miss even a moment of this.

the edge of your desk hits the back of your thighs, and shes quick to hoist you up to perch on the surface. your legs spread and her frame holding ground between your thighs, your hands grabbing at whatever skin they could find as she kissed you feverishly.

her hands roam under your shirt and caress the skin of your back roughly - her soft skin juxtaposed with the way the pads of her fingertips graze across the small area. you busy your hands by sliding up the back of her thighs, feeling the skin uncovered by the shirts she adorns. you drag your nails against her urgently, encouraged by the way she moans into your mouth, her hands gripping your back and pulling your front against her.

begrudgingly breaking the kiss, she trails kisses along your jaw, nipping at your ear roughly with a grunt, and then down your neck. she can taste the salty sweetness of the skin, her own stomach flipping when you arch your neck to give her better access. your hands now wrapped around the back of her neck and twisting into the short hairs that reside there. your breath comes in short bursts as she continues the attack on your skin, hitching when you feel her teeth graze along the skin of your throat and her tongue following in their path to soothe the area.

she pauses as you gasp, her fingertips finding the hem of your top and toying with it before she lifts it up and over your head. you hear a grumble rise from the depths of her throat at the sight of you tucked into a pale lace bra, her hands quick to tug the fabric down and expose your breasts - the wave of air causing your nipples to harden.

you pull her down towards you, encouraging her mouth as she took one in. swirling her tongue around it and sucking gently. your chest rose into her, begging her for more when she bit down softly - a jagged cry slipping past your lips. she continued like this for a few more minutes, working you up with her tongue and fingers as she flicked and alternated between your nipples.

your bliss was interrupted by her hand flat against your collarbones, pushing you down until your back laid flat against your desk - not caring for the way the sheets crumpled beneath the weight of you.

she didn't give you time to catch your breath, instead she continued her path of kisses and sloppy tongue movements down the length of your body until she knelt on the carpet below you. her thumbs dipped into the waist of your trousers and underwear and began to tug them down your legs, her mouth attached to every part of the skin she revealed until she had them pulled down and pooling around your ankles.

she takes the moment to admire you from this angle, the way your skin creases and your chest rises and falls. your hair littering the space on the desk around you and hands firmly clenched beside your frame.

you're too concerned with studying the ceiling above you to catch the smirk settling across her lips again when she notices how you glisten in the light - her face level with your very evident desperation.

the fingers gripping your thighs were warm and strong as if she was trying to permanently transfer her fingertips onto your skin. her hot breath made your skin tingle and your core ache, you lifted your hips up towards her, pussy clenched tightly around the nothingness as your mind filled with vulgar images of her lips wrapped around you, her tongue on you.

as if she could read your mind, her tongue darted out to lick you lightly - her arousal clouding her mind when you moaned, pressing your hips forward into the source of the friction, begging her for more.

"fuck," she practically purred, her voice low and sultry.

she gave in again for just a second, allowing her tongue to lay flat against your clit - savouring the way she felt your clit pulse and throb against her tongue before pulling away and swallowing you entirely.

you don't have time to complain before she's on you again, her tongue teasing your sensitive clit. circling the nerves gently before pulling away with a little suck and then diving back in to repeat the process again. you try to stay quiet, hand laid against your mouth in an attempt to muffle the noises that you couldn't fight away. the odd moan or whimper tumbling from your lips cautiously.

completely consumed by the way her tongue flicked across your bundle of nerves, you hadn't noticed when she removed one of her hands from your thigh. you did notice, however, when you felt her push a single finger into you - her pussy clenching around her digit and a guttural moan slipping past the skin of your hand.

your body felt as if it had been set ablaze, every nerve ending on fire, every muscle taut and aching for release. when she feels your relax around her, she begins to move her finger in and out of you, slowly at first, then with increasing speed and urgency. her tongue continues its relentless assault on your clit, circling and teasing until you're sure you'll go insane from the need. your hips arch off the bed and your hand grips the edge of the desk beside you, as you meet her thrusts with your own rhythm, breath coming in ragged gasps.

you reach down, gripping her hair tightly, urging her to go deeper, faster. you feel her moan against your skin, her breath hot as it fans across the exposed skin of your pussy. you feel her finger curl, hitting that spot deep inside you that sends shudders of pleasure through your entire body. you're so close, so impossibly close, but you need more. you need her.

you arch your back, lifting your hips closer to her touch as you beg, "harder, please." the words are barely out of your mouth when you feel her press a second finger inside you, stretching you, filling you in a way that feels both foreign and achingly familiar.

her fingers move in tandem with her tongue, curling and thrusting in a perfect rhythm with the hand between your legs. you're lost in the sensation, your mind a haze of pleasure and need. too lost to remember where you are as the coil in your stomach tightens and twists at the pressure of her fingers inside you.

as if sensing your rapidly approaching release, she leans back, her breath hot against your leg. chin glistening with your arousal. "that's it, love. let go."

her fingers move faster when she feels your legs start to shake beside her head as you feel yourself begin to unravel, the tension coiling in your belly finally giving way to a powerful orgasm that sweeps through you in waves. your body convulses, your muscles tensing and releasing as pleasure ripples through you.

you cry out her name, your voice raw and desperate, as you arch your back and come apart in her hands. she murmurs words of encouragement, her breath warm against your skin, her fingers relentless in their pace. and then, finally, she slows, withdrawing her fingers from you, allowing you to catch your breath.

you both sit in an oddly comfortable silence together, inhales mirrored between you both whilst you try and navigate what just happened.

before either of you can speak, or even figure out what to say - the silence is interrupted by a knock against the door beyond you both. you raise up into a sitting position almost quicker than the speed of sound, leah lifting into a standing position between your still-spread legs with a finger pressed against her lips to silence you and wide eyes.

neither of you speaks, trying to breathe silently at the revelation of a body on the other side of the door.

"by the way, this office is not soundproof.." the voice speaks out through the door, their words barely coherent through their laughs. the pair of you now embarrassed and wanting the earth to open and swallow you whole at the presence of your friends outside the room.

"shit.."

"shit.."

[bellawoso]

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

Alexia Putellas x fem!reader

Read part 1 : here

Much to your Diego’s dismay, you did not end up calling Alexia, instead the jersey, adorned with a number that could change your life, was left screwed up at the back of your wardrobe.

You were going to call Alexia.

Until one of your other friends heard about it, and told you about the backlash and hate you would receive from some of Alexia’s devoted fans. In the end, you decided it wasn’t worth it, it was only a few years since you escaped your depressive cycle, you were not ever going to risk entering it again.

Truthfully, you regret ignoring Alexia, every time anyone hits on you, you always compare them to the blonde, Diego often calling you “pathetic” as you only spoke to her for 2 hours.

However, you realised that it’s too late to call her, and think of how weird the blonde would think you were if you called her a month later.

As once again you debated calling the midfielder, your door suddenly slammed open.

“¡Hola chica! Look I have tickets!”

As you inspected the tickets in Diego’s hand, your face contorted to one of disappointment;

England vs Spain tickets.

Fuck.

———————————————————————

Your England top had arrived just in time, you were going to wear a Spain one after Diego convinced you that you would be beaten up by the first Spaniard who saw you, you guess the England-Spain rivalry ran deep.

However, it felt a betrayal to your country to be clad in the red jersey, so you ordered one last minute, luckily you weren’t completely oblivious when it came to football, you knew of how Leah Williamson had captained England to a Euro’s victory.

So there you were, in blue denim shorts and your oversized Williamson Jersey almost reaching past your shorts.

It felt like you were cheating, which was stupid, you met Alexia for 2 hours, to push away the feeling of guilt you slipped on a jacket and made your way downstairs.

Diego only rolled his eyes, and sighed in disapproval at your jersey choice.

———————————————————————

Alexia was excited for her return which she had been informed of a month prior to the match, but everyone on the team had noticed a change in the captains mood.

Except only Jana knew the cause for her sudden sadness.

Alexia didn’t understand why your rejection stung so much, maybe it was because the two-time ballon d’or winner wasn’t used to it, or maybe it was because the whole two hours you were together, she had imagined a relationship with you. It felt too real, and she cursed herself for grieving something that never happened in the first place.

She pushed all of those thoughts to the side, and instead focused on the match ahead of her, it was only a friendly, but the idea of being able to hold the win over Lucy and Keira’s heads when they returned to Barcelona felt euphoric.

What she didn’t expect was to see you in the crowd, worse of all, in a Leah fucking Williamson jersey.

———————————————————————-

Spain were one nil down at half time. which was frustrating for Alexia, having to watch from the sidelines with promises of being brought on for the final 45 minutes, however as she stepped on the pitch, her attention was drawn to a white jersey, in a sea of red, only a few rows up.

You stuck out like a sore thumb, it was extremely hard to miss you. So when Alexia laid eyes on you, her heart stopped for a second, and the screams and cheers of the stadium became muffled sounds in her ears.

As you turn around to face Diego, Alexia can just make out the England captain’s last name on your back, bile rises to the Spaniard’s mouth and she quickly turns away.

A newfound determination to outdo the English Captain, to try prove to you that the only jersey you should be proud to wear should be hers.

Call it jealousy. Maybe. But whatever it was fuelled Alexia to score 2 more goals by the end of the match.

2-1 to Spain.

When you saw Alexia step out on the pitch, your breath immediately hitched in your throat, sending you into a coughing fit, which received a knowing chuckle from Diego.

“You fumbled amiga”

Honestly, you regretted teaching him some English slang, he used it against you constantly, and often laughed at himself after seeing you scowling.

When the match ended, Diego was quick to drag you to the stands, he was a big fan of Aitana Bonmati, and wanted her signature badly.

Although you were happy for him when the brunette midfielder came over to where you two were, you froze at seeing Alexia’s friend from the match, who was walking over with Aitana.

When Jana laid eyes on you, she knew what she had to do, she was quick to sprint off and get Alexia, who was talking to Lucy and Keira, and teasing them of the loss.

Alexia was no where near as nervous as you were, the blonde didn’t need to be, you rejected her, even though she was positive that you were returning her flirty comments at the past match.

The Spaniard was sure that you were in the wrong, you should feel guilty for leading her on, so she was quick to confront you when she saw you.

“You didn’t call, and I’m pretty sure I told you to wear better clothing colours”

You internally cringed at how straight to the point the blonde was, and couldn’t help but blush as she called you out for ignoring her.

“I’m sorry, I was nervous and by the time I felt ready to call, I figured it would be too late”

“I don’t know if I’m more upset about you didn’t call because you were nervous, or the fact that you have Leah Williamson’s name on your back”

“Get me a better one then” you replied, whilst looking down at her jersey and back at her with a grin.

Alexia quickly stripped off her jersey, as you took off yours too, luckily you wore a tank top under it, Alexia’s eyes quickly dropping to your exposed chest.

“Your not subtle you know?”

“Who said I was trying to be?” The blonde was quick to reply back.

You only chuckled in response, and slipped on Alexia’s jersey, doing a little spin “How do I look?”

“Beautiful, much better wearing the jersey you belong in”

You weren’t sure if Alexia truly meant that, or if her extremely forward words were due to English not being her first language, but either way your face flushed deep crimson in retaliation to her comment.

The click of a pen lid being taken off woke you from your trance, and you peered up at Alexia, who tugged you closer by your waist, and quickly scribbled down her number once again.

“Pot favor, call me this time, promise?”

“I promise Ale, I will even let you choose the colour scheme of my outfit when we go out” you quipped back with a smile.

With a smirk, the blonde midfielder threw the England jersey on the floor, and walked away to meet Jana so they could walk into the locker room together.

Diego quickly ran towards you, only to pick you up and swing you around.

“I told you she would want you amiga! Your a snack!”

“Diego please never call me that again”

“Shut up! You should be thanking me, with out me, she would have never re-given you her number”

———————————————————————

[rana030]

boyfriend leah strikes again

[thezipzap]

extremely happy for her.

[delfiore]

—LIKE REAL PEOPLE DO.

pairing: leah williamson x reader

synopsis: a collection of private moments from a relationship between two public figures.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: IMPLICIT SMUT

a/n: this fic was proudly sponsored by hozier’s entire discography and my need to get a gf

SEQUEL: DO YOU THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU?

ONE. As It Was.

As it always was, London was raining when you came home.

The pitter-patter of the rain hitting the window panes reminded you of childhood, when it was autumn and smelled like the earth, and burying yourself in the piles of dry leaves in the backyard was like swimming in the clouds.

The rain reminded you of love and hot cocoa and scented candles.

The apartment was bathed in an orange hue from the three candles placed neatly on the coffee table when you dragged your suitcase inside. You could still hear the rain when you saw the way her eyes lit up and felt her heart pressed against yours.

You let yourself smile like it was the easiest thing in the world; because it was. You were home because you were with her.

TWO. Eat Your Young.

“Babe! What d’you want for dinner?” You heard her call from the living room.

You had just finished a chapter from your book. “Eh . . . pasta?”

“We already had pasta last night, love.”

“More pasta?” You smiled sheepishly, seeing the way she rolled her eyes but went along with your idea.

To her, there was never anything she could have the heart to deny you from, especially now that she had you back after having lent you to your work for so long.

You were supposed to be halfway across the world filming your new movie. It was only because of the writer’s strike, an unforeseen event, that gave you back to her. You had flown back from a shoot to be there for her in the days after she ruptured her ACL and when she had her surgery, but she found herself missing you the moment you left for work again.

Music played softly from the speaker on the kitchen counter as you chopped the cherry tomatoes while she boiled the noodles since that was the only thing you were okay with her doing without burning the entire building down.

“Remember to let the water boil first,” you said without turning around.

“I did,” she whined, her words trailing longer than necessary if she was telling the truth.

You stopped chopping and glanced behind your shoulder with a deadpan. “Leah.”

The water was clearly not bubbling, and yet the poor rigatoni noodles were already dunked in the pot.

“I’m sorry, I forgot again,” the girl smiled sheepishly.

You rolled your eyes at her and shook your head as she sidled up behind you with her arms around your waist.

You could never grow tired of being held in her arms like this, the warmth created by her chest pressing up against your back, and the anticipation of her timid kisses against your neck. The knife in your hand had long been set down in fear of injury by your trembling hands. Your footballer always liked to tease you until you had no choice but to submit.

“Am I forgiven?” Her voice was husky in your ear.

You were quick to regain your composure before you turned around. “Depends on if those noodles are edible or not.”

“Or we could just ditch dinner and eat each other instead.”

“Cute,” you grinned and pressed your lips against hers. You heard the slightest whimper when you gathered her bottom lip with your teeth and lightly tugged on it. “Needs some seasoning. Otherwise, good enough.”

“That’s what I meant, obviously.”

In the end, the pasta was long forgotten, and you had to order a pizza instead because, by the time she was done, you could barely walk to the other side of the kitchen.

THREE. I, Carrion (Icarian).

You had always been uncomfortable with silence. It was why you brought your speaker everywhere, why you preferred the city over the countryside, why you always felt the need to fill the silence in a room with conversation where there were other people. To you, silence meant a weapon, a way of waging war without actually doing it—the cowardice of dishonesty. So any chance you had to snuff out a glimpse of it, you did. Most of the time, though, the only war waged was the one you did to yourself in your mind.

But whenever you are with her, none of those threats present themselves. She has made silence enjoyable and something you wish you had learned to appreciate earlier, not fear it.

She had put on a movie for the both of you to watch on the couch. You usually felt the need to provide commentary were you with friends, but you were content with enjoying the movie in silence, occasionally looking over to your blonde lover to admire her on the other end of the couch. Your left leg was currently stretched across the cushions, as Leah gave you a foot massage whilst watching the movie.

Sometimes she didn’t feel real, like it was all a sick and twisted dream waiting to drop you on your head when you wake up. But it never did, because every time you reached for her, she was always there; even when you were timezones apart, she would find a way to be there for you in spirit.

“Babe, watch the movie. I like this one,” she spoke, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I feel like it should be me giving you a foot massage,” you said, lifting your chin towards her healing knee.

“Nah. You were the one sitting on a 12-hour flight to get back here,” she put pressure in the center of your foot.

With your arm on the backrest, you lifted it to brush the tips of your fingers against her hair, inching closer toward the skin on her neck. She noticed, of course, and sent a cheeky grin your way.

Your lover smiled and laughed like a child does. You loved it whenever she showed her teeth when she smiled, stripping down the front of the stoic and reliable captain of European champions that she had to be. You hated that she always lifted others up, yet put so much pressure on herself. You wished that she would be selfish sometimes, for when you weren’t there to pick up the pieces.

You never fared well, being away from her for long, which was why when she pulled you towards her and closed the distance between the two of you on the couch, you obliged.

“I love you,” she whispered after pressing a slow kiss on your lips.

With a lovesick sigh, you caressed her cheek and repeated her words. You loved the way her blue eyes narrowed watching you when you were so close to her face. The movie was running on the TV, but the only one you wanted to watch was her. You’d have to rewind it later.

FOUR. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe).

There was a simplicity in all of it. This aspect of your life that, amidst the chaos and complications and unfairness in the world, was just that. Love. It was simple, it was sweet, it was yours.

It reminded you of a quote you read once: “He is half of my soul, as the poets say.” If anyone asked you why you loved her, you wouldn’t be able to answer. It would simply be that because she was she, and you were you.

Maybe Zeus never intended for soulmates to find each other. He was the one who split them up in the first place because he knew they would be impossible to part if the two halves merged.

She is half of your soul, as the poets say.

There was something so transcending about loving someone, and having it reciprocated. Every part of it; the good, the bad, the ugly. But you wanted all of it. You wanted to experience everything with her, because she was half of your soul, and it was the only way you could ever feel close to whole again before Zeus split you into two.

Your lover was panting quietly on top of you, her golden hair falling over her face like a lion’s mane. Her eyes fluttered close, her lips parted, her skin was hot to the touch. You watched, seeing the slightest shift in her face as she pulled your legs to her chest, the friction of her rocking slowly turning palpable as it fell into a rhythm. You would hold onto her, your fingers pressing down to create temporary craters into her skin, treading lightly, not wanting to disturb her pleasure, like a lone astronaut exploring a rogue planet.

You sighed contentedly hearing her quiet whines, an indication of an impending release. Your lover has never been loud, like she was saving everything she was feeling for you like everything would only be contained in these four walls, only for the both of you to share.

At some point, she had mumbled something and leaned down to flip you on your front. Even while her movements were restricted by her healing knee, she still liked to be as rough as she could, and you liked it, when she was always so sweet and gentle out of bed. It made you feel wanted, the way she pinned you to the bed and pressed herself against you, the way she intertwined your fingers and coaxed you through your high and kissed you until your lips were bruised and pulsating.

She made you feel wanted, even after you both had given each other euphoria, her frantic kisses to your skin always managed to elicit short giggles out of you. You would whisper in her ear after she had rolled over, the bedsheet warm and damp where she lay, holding her lean body close to yours, just like before Zeus had split you in half.

You are half of her soul, as the poets say, and unless a primordial god physically grabbed you by the waist and tore you away from your soulmate, you would stay here, one moment after another, until infinity. After that, you’d wake up the next morning and do it all over again.

FIVE. Wasteland, Baby!

Your lover was a light sleeper. You had discovered that within the first few months of dating. The way she stirred awake was not dissimilar to how a fussy baby wakes up at the slightest of noises. Usually, she would be quite grumpy as well.

Your circadian rhythm looked more like arrhythmia with the jet lag you were experiencing, in addition to the irregular hours you slept due to having to adjust for filming. Which was why you were in the living room, reading, so your tossing and turning wouldn’t disturb her sleep.

Once again, whenever you were with her, the silence didn’t bother you. Not when you were bathed in her scent wearing her sweater and the premise of her resting a room away from you.

It was around two in the morning when you heard the bedroom door open and close, and the sound of quiet feet shuffling on the floor.

“Hey, you. Why are you awake?” You asked gently, extending a hand out to her.

“I woke up to use the bathroom and you weren’t there,” her bottom lip jutted out like it always did when she wanted your attention.

You stifled a giggle and a coo at how adorable a 26-year-old woman could be. “I just thought I’d leave you be since I couldn’t sleep.”

Without prompting, your lover made herself comfortable on the couch and snuggled into your side. “You’re wearing my jumper.”

You continued reading with one hand while the other rested on her head, and stroking it lightly. “Yeah, found it lying around.” You placed a short kiss on her hair.

“I love this, Y/N,” she said, her words nearly unintelligible from mumbling into the fabric of your sweatshirt. “I made a Pinterest board the other day for our future home.”

“Ooh, tell me more.”

“I’d like to live in the countryside somewhere, with like a farm. It’ll be a cottage with vines all over the walls and everything, wooden kitchen set, a sunroom.”

“I can see that,” you said, “what about the city? You ever dreamed of living in New York? Paris? Hong Kong?”

“I’d feel like a fish out of water. I can barely stomach London. You’d been to all those places.”

You have, but nowhere felt like home unless you were with her. You could make a home in Antarctica if she was there with you.

“All of them are overrated anyway.” You hummed. “I like it wherever I’m with you.”

Her nose crinkled whenever you’d say cheesy stuff like that. You never knew how much those words made her heart skip a beat, as she buried her face in your neck.

“I realized as I said it,” you scrunched your face too.

“Working with Wes Anderson made you a sap now, hasn’t it?” She quite enjoyed this side of you. “It’s fine. I like it.”

Sleep found her again shortly after. In the morning, she woke with a sore back, but her heart was full, realizing she had been tangled in your arms all night.

SIX. Swan Upon Leda.

To know pain; the kind of pain that cuts through your flesh and leaves you bleeding dry. A stinging sensation that soon turns into agonizing hellfire and the knowing that there are several more spirals of hell still waiting to make you bleed. It was to witness someone who was half of your soul be in pain whilst you were powerless against the evil, and all you could do was pray that it would spare your soulmate and take you instead.

Your hand clasped around hers like iron chains, rubbing her back soothingly, as if the warmth from the back might manifest in her front and assuage the pain. She lay on the bathroom floor, her breathing slow and hard, like she was grappling with the evil that, by the looks of it, was winning. Clutching the heating pad to her stomach, her only lifeline, she curled away from you and into herself even further.

“Love, let’s move you to the bedroom where you can lay comfortably, yeah?” You asked gently.

She huffed and grunted. “Can’t move. Hurts.”

Your lover, your Lioness, Queen of Europe, falling apart by an invisible evil, immobilizing her like a wounded deer. The coldness of the tiles couldn’t have helped, but she couldn’t move.

Spare her. Give me the pain instead.

You leaned down, lowering yourself slowly to the cold, until you were flat on the floor too. Gently, you pulled her to turn to face you. Your Lioness was clenching her jaw, a vein splitting her forehead from how hard she was trying to pretend it didn’t bother her.

And it stung even more when she let out a choked sob.

Then she said with a trembling sigh, “Don’t want you to see me like this.”

Her face was stained with streaks of silent tears, a sign of the raging battle she had to endure for years finally getting the best of her. But the evil had never seen the best of her; she reserved it all for you.

“Oh, baby.” Your hand came up to cup her face, the frame that held the entire world.

It didn’t matter that your lover was curled up on the bathroom floor, she was still your bravest girl, your strongest soldier, and your fiercest Lioness.

“You’re the strongest person I know,” you said sincerely, “and I’m not leaving you, not now, not ever.”

Your lover beamed tearfully like sunshine in the rain and clung herself onto you.

Young love was the thing of fairytales. You would never claim to have it all figured out, but if what you had wasn’t love, you didn’t know the half of anything.

SEVEN. Like Real People Do.

As serious as your lover made herself out to be, she was the biggest goof on the planet the moment a drop of alcohol entered her system. Never acted out of line, never said anything that she’d regret in the morning, just the rowdiest thing that considered waving her arms in the air while wobbling back and forth dancing. It made a spectacular scene to watch, especially whenever she was with her best friend, whom you had to thank for bringing her into your life.

Even the people in her life who knew her as responsible and trustworthy would be concerned at this entirely different side to her, to which you only waved them off with a laugh, and said, “She’ll be fine.”

She would always be because she always had you to take care of her.

“Water, babe?” She knew to listen to you and chugged the whole thing in one breath.

“Come dance with me?” She offered when the DJ slowed the music.

She looked too good not to, so you took her hand and followed her to the dance floor. Once there, she wrapped her arms around your waist and pressed a kiss on your forehead. “Come closer. You smell so good.”

You laughed. “Creep.”

“This is our song,” she chuckled.

The familiar melody elicited distant memories of shy ‘hello’s and stolen glances, her best friend pushing her towards you, and her keeping your number on the phone all night until she finally gathered the courage to press on it.

It was the first song on every playlist you sent each other, like a stamp, a greeting, a confession.

It was the song that played when it was just the two of you alone after she became her country’s pride and joy.

“I remember,” you said, brushing a strand of her hair back from her blue eyes, dazed ones that looked at you like you held the world in your hands. “I thought you’d be more confident, just from seeing how you are on the pitch. It was very endearing.”

“I was nervous, okay?” She groaned, laughing quietly. “I didn’t wanna embarrass myself in front of a movie star.”

“I’m glad you asked me to dance, even though—”

“I’m shit at dancing, yeah.”

You giggled, and bumped her nose. “I feel so lucky to have you in my life.”

She was swaying you back and forth, humming to the song gently, a far cry from the first time you had asked her to dance, and she panicked and said her legs were made for football and not dancing.

“I’m still shit at dancing,” she chuckled.

“I don’t care,” you shook your head. “I still love you.”

“Even if I’ve got two left feet?”

“Mmhm.”

She grinned and kissed you, inhaling deeply. “I can feel Alex taking pictures of us—Yup, her phone is out and it’s pointing at us. Very subtle, Alex.” You laughed when you turned around to see your lover already flipping the bird at her best friend.

“We do have her to thank for getting us to meet.”

“That’s ‘cause she beat me to it first. I would have found a way to you.”

“You didn’t even know me then, babe.”

“Yeah, but I’d still find my way to you.” She was giggling because you had pulled a face. “What? It’s true.”

Leah loved deeply, and boldly. You made her feel special like she was the only person in the world. You also made her feel ordinary, like she wasn’t the face of a nation and only any other stranger walking down the street. Inside the little bubble you were both in, you were just Leah and Y/N, two people in love.

The song had come to its end, and yet she still hadn’t let you go. Three little words sat on the tip of both of your tongues. You pressed a kiss to her lips first. She kissed you back, on the lips, then on the neck softly.

I love you.

I love you.

What you didn’t know was that she planned to make you a promise of forever, with a ring hidden in a drawer waiting at home.

Simple. Sweet. Ours.

EIGHT. De Selby (Part 1).

“Lee?”

“Hm?”

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

“Mate, honestly like—“

[alotofpockets]

The captain's sister | Mary Earps x Reader

Summary: Where your sister finds out you're dating Mary. [Requested]

A/n: Another birthday, another fic. Happy birtday Mary!

Woso masterlist | Words: 1k

-----

You were on your way to St. George's Park for another England camp with your Manchester United teammates Mary and Ella. It was your first camp since you and Mary started dating a few months ago, so Ella asked the question she couldn’t get out of her mind. “Did you tell Leah yet?” Most of your United teammates knew that the two of you were together, since you saw them day in and day out, but you hadn’t really told anyone outside of the team yet. “I have not, and I would appreciate it if you don’t tell her either.” You gave Ella a warning looking, knowing the girl was a bit of a blabbermouth. “Oh don’t worry about me, I haven’t even told Less.” That actually did reassure you, because Ella and Alessia shared everything. “I think you should be more worried about her accidentally seeing the two of you together, it’s like you’re conjoined at the hip or something.” You rolled your eyes at her comment, “You’re just sad that Joe can’t come to camp with us.”

After arriving at camp, you hung out with your teammates a bit, before heading to your assigned rooms. You were overjoyed when you found out that you were rooming with your girlfriend, knowing that at least at the end of every day, you could be close to her, and fall asleep in her arms. Knowing that you would be spending most of the day by putting some distance between the two of you, you were soaking up some girlfriend time with some cuddles in bed. You were interrupted by a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Mary called out. “Tooney.” Ella responded. “It’s open, Tooney, come in.” Since it was just Ella, you made no effort to move out of Mary’s comfort. The door opened and Ella came walking in, only she wasn’t alone, your eyes widened as a blonde followed her in.

“This is what I missed after leaving United?” Alessia looks at the two of you tangled up together. “Surprise.” Mary jokes, but she quickly wipes the smile off her face when she realises that you don’t find it funny. “Don’t you dare joke about this, Earps. Now two of the three most chatty people on the team know about us.” You put your head in your hands, “Leah is so going to find out.” Alessia sits down on the empty bed, “So, Mary, the captain’s sister, huh?” Mary keeps her mouth shut after the warning look you sent her way. “Is that all I am now, Russo?” You were fully joking of course, Leah might be the captain of the Lionesses, but not once were you seen as any less of a player than she was by your teammates. 

Your plan to put some distance between the two of you during camp was a nice thought, but as Ella had expected, the two of you stuck together like a pair of magnets. Sitting together in the dining hall, spotting each other in the gym, and partnering up for drills. Leah wasn’t suspicious of any of that thought, because the two of you had played together at United for years. 

After one of your many training sessions with the team, Mary pulled you into one of the empty physio rooms. She closes the door behind you and lifts you onto the massage table. “Baby, what are you doing?” Mary smiles at you innocently, “Kiss my girlfriend, because I missed her.” You looked at the door worriedly, “Relax, no one is going to come in here.” After a few seconds of thinking it over, you decided that she was probably right, so you pulled her closer to you and kissed her. 

Leah was in the hallway talking with Keira when she saw you enter one of the physio rooms out of the corner of her eyes. She instantly worried that something had happened during training, so when her conversation with Keira was done, she went over to check on you. “Hey, is everythi-” Leah stopped mid-sentence when she saw you making out with Mary. “What is going on here?” Her worried voice quickly made way for her stern captain’s voice. You knew that Mary could stand her ground but when your sister made big steps towards the keeper, you quickly hopped off the massage table and got in between them. “Leah, I can explain.” She pushed you aside easily, “You don’t have to explain.” She moved towards Mary and jabbed a finger to her chest, “I want you to explain why you are kissing my sister.” 

Mary looked between the two Williamson siblings, not really knowing that the right explanation would be in Leah’s eyes. You stepped in and pulled your sister away from Mary. “Leah, calm down please. The explanation for why she was kissing me, is because she is my girlfriend.” Now it was Leah’s turn to look between the two of you, everything started to sink in. The way the two of you had seemed so close during camp, now suddenly making more sense. 

Leah’s features softened, “You know you could’ve told me, right? I’m happy for you.” You smiled, “Thank you Lee.” But her soft features quickly changed back when she looked over to Mary. “If you hurt her, I will make sure your career is over, do you understand?” You roll your eyes, “Lee, back off, she is not going to hurt me.” She looks between the two of you again, “Oh god, you’re rooming together this camp.” Your eyes widened, “Don’t you dare.” There was a sparkle in Leah’s eyes that didn’t promise anything good. “I am the captain, I can change the rooming situation however I see best fit.” With that Leah left the room. You run after her, “Please, Leah don’t do this.” Moving past a confused Ella and Alessia, who start to snicker when they see Mary leave the same room the two of you just emerged from. “Told you so.” Ella says to Mary. “It was always going to be the two of you getting caught.”

-----

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[bonmatis]

girlfriend coded

[repulsiveliquidation]

Alone || Leah Williamson

warnings : mentions of bullying, death, loneliness, rude namecalling. smut is at the end but i promise there is a happy ending. words in bold are from a poem above, but i can't remember who wrote it!

I like being alone was something that you always convinced yourself of growing up. Dad was always high on some binge drinking spree with his equally deadbeat friends and Mum tried her best to be a parent but with a useless father and barely any money coming in, you quickly learned how to keep yourself occupied and take care of yourself.

One day, the police showed up at your door and knocked. Mum stopped folding the laundry and you poked your head in just in time to hear the officers tell your mother that your father had tried to rob the local liquor store and was shot by the police who arrived on the scene. Having been ostracized from the community long ago due to your father’s behavior, the news of his death only increased the cold shoulder you and your mother got from the town.

Parents in your hometown seemed to teach their children bad manners from a young age; all the kids in school knew to stay away from you. No one sat with you at lunch, no one ever wanted you on their team for PE. God forbid you were paired up together for a group project, no one ever wanted your company.

Secondary school was rinse and repeat. No one sat with you at lunch, no one ever wanted you on their team for the science fair. Once, you were assigned the popular girl for the English project which was 25 percent of the class grade.

“You’re doing the whole thing yourself and you better not screw with my portion of the project, you got that you freak?” Megan warned, having cornered you in the girls’ changing room after class.

“I’d watch that tone if I were you, Meg,” came a voice from the end of the showers where you were cowering.

“Stay out of it Williamson or I’ll sock you!”

“I think you’re the only one about to leave here with a black eye Meg so I’d watch your tone.”

“You’re not defending the freak are you?”

“I’m doing what’s right, I’ve had it to here with your snarky attitude,” Leah challenged, grabbing the bully’s arm and pulling her away from you. “Leave her alone.”

“Fuck you, Williamson! Everyone will know you like the freak!”

“Call her that one more time and I’ll tattoo it across your forehead!”

Megan leaves the changing room with a loud huff and you hide yourself more in the shower cubicle. You’d never interacted with Leah Williamson before. You knew to stay far away from the popular girls and the captain of the girls’ football team was one of them.

Leah smiles kindly and reaches a hand out for you. You don’t take it immediately, half expecting her to make fun of you and demand you do her homework for her. Leah realizes this and shakes her head a little, sitting on the floor with you. You’re about to ask her to leave when she opens her mouth first.

“I’m sorry about her and all of them. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“I’m used to it,” you mumble, pulling your legs to your chest and hugging them.

“I’m Leah.”

“I know who you are,” you answer quickly, pushing yourself up to your feet. “You don’t have to pretend to be nice to me,” you say just as the tears threaten to fall. You do not need Leah to see them, it’ll give her one more thing to tell everyone about.

You grab your torn backpack and rush out of the changing room before she can answer you.

Leah stands there a little hurt, her efforts of extending an olive branch failing only motivate her more. She knew about the whole scandal or whatever it was that happened all those years ago but learned at a very young age that Amanda hated it all.

“You treat that family with the same respect you give everyone else, Leah you understand? No one deserves such unkind neighbors.”

You do not know what compelled you to sit in the stands of Leah’s football game against a rival school. There was a ticket in your locker with a note hoping to see you there. Thinking it was a prank, you wanted to throw it away but decided against it, which meant that the cloudy England sky and shitty concession food was your plan for the afternoon.

“Hi, you got my ticket!”

You had your eyes glued to your phone, your hat pulled down over your eyes to block out the stares you normally got. But that familiar thick local accented voice rang loud in front of you, you looked up to see Leah grinning at you with her mother Amanda right behind her.

“You put the ticket in my locker?” you asked sheepishly, watching as Amanda sat next to you.

“Yes darling, her father couldn’t make it and she didn’t waste it so she wanted to give it to you.”

You look up at Leah and her grin is almost brighter than it was before. She was all dressed and ready for the game, hand reaching out to pat your head before running back onto the pitch.

“I’m so glad you’re here, I hope you stay the whole game!” she yelled out, jogging towards the rest of her teammates.

“She didn’t have to give me the ticket,” you mumble under your breath. More people are staring now, you could feel it. Amanda reached around your shoulders and rubbed your back, smiling down at you.

“No, but she insisted.”

Leah was relentless in her pursuit of you. There were more notes in your locker that were not malicious. They were written in the same writing as the first letter that had a football ticket in it, always signed LW.

Soon the letters became more personalized and directly from Leah. People talked a lot in this town and word got out fast that Leah was making friends with the freak. She didn’t seem fazed, the teasing she could endure; the bullying you normally received almost doubled overnight.

Ever since Leah started giving you the letters in person, all the people who had crushes on her had increased their hatred of you.

You were walking home after one of Leah’s games, headphones in and head down like always. You didn’t see them coming for you and didn’t hear them either. Megan and her girls had followed you the whole way until you turned into a dark alley; it was a shortcut to your house and you’ve never seen anyone else use it before.

Carla pulled your hair first. You turned and before you could defend yourself, Megan slapped you across the face. Alice tripped you as you tried to run away, slipping face-first into a muddy puddle left by the rain that morning. Rebecca, the ring leader, grabs your shoulder and turns you around, eyes seething with anger.

“I have wanted Leah Williamson for a very long time, you pathetic little bitch. What the fuck did you do to her in that bathroom that day when Megan was beating sense into your stupid brain huh?”

“Being a bully isn’t a quality I look for in a girl, Becca.”

Leah stands there with her kit still on and her hair sticking to her forehead. Her hands on her hips and chest heaving suggest she ran all the way here. She looks down at you before stepping towards you and reaching a hand out to you. You take it this time and she pulls you up and into a hug.

“Are you okay?” she asks, brushing your hair out of your face. You nod and she cups your cheek, thumb rubbing over your cheekbone that was slightly red from Megan’s slap earlier.

“What did I say about testing my patience, Rebecca?”

“Leah, she’s the town freak! What could you possibly see in her?”

“Everything I don’t see in you, Becca. What would your mother say if I let it slip over tea next week that her precious girl is a sly little liar? She doesn’t need to know about your little stunt with the principal I walked in on last week now does she?”  

“Don’t you dare!”

“Then you leave her alone,” Leah sternly warns, eyes shooting daggers at the fleeing girls.

“Come on, I’ll take you home. I saw them coming for you after the game and I followed them. I’m glad I found you in time!”

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“I think you know I like you a lot more than you’re letting yourself believe.”

“Why me, Leah?”

She takes your hand and walks towards the main road with you. You see Amanda in the car waiting, shaking her head at the two of you.

“Are you okay, love?” she asks you as you climb into the backseat with Leah. She hasn’t let go of your hand the whole time, rubbing the back of your palm with her thumb gently. You like the feeling of her hot skin on yours, it’s such a simple comfort and you can’t even remember the last time you felt it.

“Yes, Mrs. Williamson. Leah got me in time.”

“Please dear, I’ve told you to call me Amanda.”

“Mum, can she stay over tonight?” Leah chirps, holding your hand tighter. You blush a little, looking at her with a single thought in your head; you deserve to allow yourself a little bit of love.

“My mum is okay with it, I can stay.”

“Great! I’ve put a set of clean clothes in the bathroom for you too so…”

“Thank you, Leah,” you say quietly, eyes avoiding her piercing blue ones.

“Of course.”

The whole night goes by perfectly. Amanda cooks a delicious meal that you shamelessly have three servings of. Since it was a Friday night, Leah insisted on movie night. There were throw blankets and pillows all over the floor but you were hesitant to cuddle close to Leah. Having not made a single friend in years, you were scared that one wrong move could ruin the little bit of joy Leah had given you in such a short period.

Leah however, could not hold herself back anymore and was honestly quite annoyed at you. She had been showing her affection towards you for weeks and you were still hesitant to reciprocate them.

“You don’t like me back, do you? You’re just doing this to be nice.”

You look at Leah in horror. No, no, no! This was not how it was supposed to go.

“Leah,” you start, sitting up. “No one has ever wanted to be my friend my entire life. I have my useless dead father to thank for that. When you started giving me those letters, I genuinely thought you were planning some long term practical joke but tonight you’ve shown me that you truly want to be my friend, maybe more.” Leah sits up too and you continue.

“I’m scared, I haven’t done this in a long time. I don’t want to make a wrong move and scare you away. I want you so bad, if everything you’ve left in your letters is true then I want this, I want us. When you scored that goal last week when you rarely do, you looked at me. You did a hand heart towards me and I genuinely thought you were showing it to someone else in the crowd but you pointed at me.”

Leah had tears in her eyes, the tough captain of the school girls’ football team seemed moved by your words. She leaned in and you let her, pressing your lips to hers. You were sure you felt fireworks and that she did too. Her lips were soft and she loved that you smelled like her body wash.

You pulled away and blinked fast, hoping that she wasn’t a figment of your imagination. By the time you’d blinked about fifty times, she was still there, her stupid smug smile on her face.

“I really like you,” you tell her, head leaning on her shoulder as you turn your attention back to the TV.

“I really like you too,” she whispers, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as she pulls you into her side.

In the days that come, Leah warned all those who regularly mess with you that they now mess with her too. She also warned that if she caught wind of people calling you names, especially freak, they would go home with it etched across their faces.

\\

You’re sat at the dinner table with Leah in your home years later. Grace is sitting on her playmat, totally engrossed in her building blocks. The sunset pours into the living room and you’ve never been happier in your life.

There’s nothing in your life you’d want to change. You thank your lucky stars that the Lioness sitting in front of you took a chance on you that year in secondary school. Life had only gone up since getting together at 17. You went to college and Leah played for Arsenal. It was hard when you moved for a year to Spain to study but Leah fought hard to make sure the connection was there, flying every other weekend to see you.

The moment you graduated, Leah proposed in front of all your friends. Yes, you made friends! The Spain host family you lived with was more than welcoming and gave you a sense of belonging that you had never felt before. The little community you built for yourself gave you a chance to heal and forgive all those people who wronged young you.

She looked up at you with a face of pure admiration. The ring glimmered in the sun, the diamond was the perfect carat for her perfect girl.

“I have never been surer of anything in my life, will you marry me?”

“Yes!”

\\

You’re both standing at the altar, hands held in front of all your friends and family. The Arsenal and Lioness girls are rowdy in the front, cheering their captain on. She had just shared her vows and it was now your turn.

“When I was little, I convinced myself that I liked being alone. I was always the last to be picked, last to be called, sometimes the teachers forgot about me. By the time I was in secondary school, I had accepted that I was going to be alone all my life. Until I met you,” you look up at Leah and see that she’s already got tears in her eyes. You continue, feeling a little emotional yourself.

“I was sure that you were playing a prank on me, wanting nothing more than to humiliate me in front of everyone like they always did. I waited and waited and nothing happened. You saved me from those girls that day and in the car ride home I knew you were different. For the first time ever, I wanted your company more than my own.”

//

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop…”

“Never, babygirl,” Leah coos, hands gripping your hips from behind as she fucks into your pussy hard. You whine into the mattress and grip the sheets, pushing your ass back into her hips. She angled her hips just right, hitting your sweet spot just enough to send you right off the edge.

“Leah!” you cried, reaching back to hold her strong thigh. She was relentless, pounding you through your orgasm. She flipped you over a minute later, her strap pushed back into your sensitive hole just milliseconds after pulling out. You’re about to squeal about being sensitive when she wraps her hand around your neck so lightly. It’s barely there but her skin on yours sends electric shocks through your system.

You buck up into her and bite your lip, forcing her cock straight into your pussy. She gives you that smug smirk that boils your blood and gets to work, rutting into you with purpose. Her hands knead your breasts religiously, face buried between them in an instant. You cradle her head that rests on you, legs widening for her subconsciously.

Your body submits to her willingly and you can barely think when the hand around your neck gently tightens. Your eyes roll into your head and you grin deliriously, oxygen leaving your head as quickly as it gets there.  

Her hips, although practically laying on you, do not relent, pounding into your pussy obediently. Her harness rubs your clit just right and you can barely make a sound to warn her before you gush all over her cock and your thighs. She squeezes your neck just a little harder than usual and it sends you straight into another orgasm right after the other.

She only slows down when you’re shaking like a leaf and turning a little pale, kissing you gently. You grin and reach out for her, she pulls her harness off and settles between your legs. You pat her head and kiss her forehead, fingers running through her blond hair. She presses kisses all over your neck and you sigh, grateful for the chance at a proper life the woman in your arms had given you.

“I love you, Leah,” you mumble into her hair and you feel the captain mumble her answer into your neck. You giggle and settle into the warm bed with the love of your life, excited to see what life has in store for the two of you.

[millyh23]

Bound By Trust

word count: 11.9k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N stood at the centre of the pitch, the sun setting behind the Emirates Stadium casting a warm, golden hue over the grass. Training had just wrapped up, and most of the team was heading back to the locker rooms, laughing and chatting about their plans for the evening. But Y/N lingered, stretching her legs as she replayed the day’s drills in her mind, the passing patterns, the defensive shape—everything that made Arsenal such a well-oiled machine.

As she bent down to tie her laces tighter, she heard footsteps approaching. She didn’t need to look up to know who it was. Leah Williamson’s presence was always familiar, a quiet confidence that seemed to wrap around the team like a safety net.

“You’re pushing yourself harder than usual today,” Leah said, her voice gentle but with an undertone of concern.

Y/N straightened up and turned to her, shrugging lightly. “Just trying to get better.”

Leah raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms as she stood next to Y/N. “You’re already good enough. That’s why you’re here.”

Y/N smiled but didn’t respond, shifting her gaze back to the now-empty field. She had always been hard on herself, always feeling like she needed to prove she belonged at a club as prestigious as Arsenal. The standards were high, and even though she knew she had the talent, there was always a nagging doubt at the back of her mind.

“I’ve noticed something,” Leah continued after a moment of silence. “You don’t trust yourself on the ball as much as you should.”

Y/N glanced at her, frowning slightly. “What do you mean?”

Leah sighed, stepping closer so they were facing each other. “You hesitate. When you’ve got the ball and space in front of you, you hesitate just for a split second. It’s like you’re second-guessing your instincts.”

Y/N opened her mouth to protest, but Leah cut her off with a knowing look.

“I know you,” Leah said softly. “You’re smart, and you’ve got great vision on the pitch. But if you don’t trust yourself, you’re going to hold back, and that’s going to affect the whole team. We need to know that you’re confident out there. That we can trust you.”

Y/N swallowed, her throat tightening. Trust. It was such a simple word, but it carried so much weight. She had always been the type to put immense pressure on herself, to not let anyone down. But maybe, in doing so, she was forgetting the most important part—that the team trusted her, and she needed to trust herself too.

“I’ve been working on it,” Y/N admitted quietly, her eyes dropping to the ground. “But sometimes it feels like I’m not enough.”

Leah’s expression softened, and she reached out, placing a hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “You are enough. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”

The sincerity in Leah’s words sent a wave of warmth through Y/N. She had always admired Leah’s leadership, the way she could read the game and her teammates like a book. And in that moment, Y/N realized that Leah’s trust wasn’t just a given—it was earned, and it was genuine.

“Thanks, Leah,” Y/N murmured, feeling the weight in her chest ease just a little.

Leah gave her a small smile, squeezing her shoulder before stepping back. “We’re all bound by trust on this team. We have to be. Otherwise, none of this works. And you’re a part of that, Y/N. So trust yourself as much as we trust you, alright?”

Y/N nodded, a new sense of determination settling within her. She knew it wouldn’t be an overnight change, but she could start small. Trust herself with every touch, every pass, every decision. It was the only way forward.

As the two of them walked off the pitch together, the stadium lights flickered on, illuminating the path ahead. Y/N felt lighter somehow, the pressure she’d placed on herself fading in the presence of something stronger—trust. The kind that wasn’t just given but built over time, through sweat, grit, and shared goals. It was what made Arsenal more than just a club. It made them a team.

And Y/N was ready to live up to that trust, bound by it in every way.

The hum of the crowd filled Y/N’s ears as she stood in the tunnel, heart pounding in anticipation. Today was the day. A crucial league match, with Arsenal needing three points to maintain their title race. After weeks of hard work, she had started to trust herself on the pitch. Leah’s words had sunk in deep, and her confidence was growing, game by game.

She could feel it during training, during drills, and in every touch of the ball. It wasn’t perfect, but the hesitation that once plagued her was beginning to fade. She was making quicker decisions, pushing forward with more certainty, trusting her instincts. The team noticed it too, and there was an unspoken understanding between them now—a bond forged by trust.

As the whistle blew and they stepped onto the pitch, Y/N took a deep breath, rolling her shoulders to shake off the nerves. The Emirates Stadium was packed, fans chanting, banners waving. This was her stage, and she was ready to play her part.

The first few minutes of the match went by in a blur of energy and movement. Arsenal controlled possession, and Y/N, stationed in her usual role on the wing, felt alive. She darted in and out of pockets of space, always aware of her surroundings, always thinking two steps ahead. Her first few touches were crisp, and when she drove forward, she did it without hesitation, pushing the ball past defenders with newfound confidence.

But then came the 30th minute.

A sloppy pass from the midfield found Y/N in an awkward position. The ball came at her too quickly, and her first touch was heavy. She chased it, but the opposing defender was faster, sweeping the ball away with ease and launching a counterattack.

The groan from the crowd hit her ears like a wave, but Y/N shook it off. Mistakes happened. She just needed to recover.

Except, they kept happening.

Five minutes later, she found herself in space on the edge of the box. Leah played a perfect ball through, setting Y/N up for a chance to score. All she needed to do was shoot. But the hesitation she had worked so hard to shake off crept back in at the worst moment. Instead of firing, she took an extra touch, allowing the defender to close her down, and her eventual shot was blocked.

Another groan from the crowd. Louder this time.

Y/N clenched her fists, her mind racing. Focus. Get it together.

But the game seemed to spiral out of control after that. Passes she usually nailed were going astray, her positioning felt off, and she couldn’t seem to get her rhythm back. It was as if all the progress she had made in trusting herself was unraveling before her eyes.

Then, in the 60th minute, disaster struck.

Arsenal were pushing forward, trying to break down the opposition’s defense. Y/N received the ball deep in her own half with pressure mounting. The opposing forward was closing her down fast, but instead of playing the safe pass back to the keeper, she tried to dribble her way out.

It was a mistake.

She lost the ball in a dangerous area, and within seconds, the opposition capitalized, scoring on the break.

The stadium fell into a stunned silence for a moment, and then the boos started. Low at first, then rising to a deafening roar as the frustration from the fans became tangible. Y/N stood frozen, staring at the scoreboard as the opposition celebrated.

Her heart dropped into her stomach. She could feel her teammates' eyes on her, but no one said anything. The boos continued to rain down, sharp and relentless. She had never heard anything like it before, not directed at her. It was suffocating, crushing her from the inside out.

Leah was the first to come over, placing a hand on Y/N’s shoulder, but the words she said didn’t register. Y/N couldn’t hear anything over the sound of the crowd, the disappointment echoing in her mind. Every cheer from the opposition fans felt like another knife twisting in her gut.

When the final whistle blew, Arsenal had lost 2-0. And Y/N, the player who had spent weeks clawing her way toward trusting herself, walked off the pitch with her head down, drowning in shame.

The locker room was deathly quiet. The team sat in silence, the tension heavy in the air. No one wanted to talk, especially not Y/N. She sat in front of her locker, staring at the floor, replaying every mistake over and over again in her mind.

She could still hear the boos ringing in her ears. She’d never been booed before—never been the one fans turned their backs on. But today, she had been.

Leah sat beside her, not saying a word, but her presence was steady, like an anchor Y/N didn’t feel she deserved.

“I messed up,” Y/N whispered, breaking the silence.

Leah exhaled softly, tilting her head to look at her. “It wasn’t just on you. We all had a bad game.”

Y/N shook her head, frustration bubbling up inside her. “No, I cost us the game. I froze. I… I didn’t trust myself out there.”

Leah frowned, her gaze soft but serious. “One bad game doesn’t erase everything you’ve worked for. You’ve come a long way, Y/N. Don’t let today be the end of that progress.”

Y/N wanted to believe her, but the weight of the boos, the mistakes, the disappointment—it all felt like too much. Trusting herself had been hard enough. Now, it felt impossible.

“I don’t know if I can bounce back from this,” Y/N admitted quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Leah leaned in, her voice steady and sure. “You can. Because we trust you. That hasn’t changed.”

Y/N didn’t respond, unsure of whether to believe her. The road to trusting herself had been rocky, and now, after a game like this, it felt like she was back at square one.

But Leah didn’t leave her side. And maybe that was the first step—trusting that even when everything fell apart, her teammates would be there to pick her back up.

Y/N jogged onto the training pitch, the cool morning air biting at her skin. It had been a few days since the disastrous match that left her confidence in tatters. The boos from the crowd still echoed in her mind, replaying whenever she found herself in a moment of stillness. But she’d promised herself she wouldn’t let that one game define her.

Today was a fresh start, a chance to rebuild.

As warm-ups began, Y/N fell into the rhythm of the routine. Simple passing drills, weaving between cones, sprinting back and forth. Everything was familiar. She kept her focus, pushing away the doubt, reminding herself that she was good enough to be here. Leah’s words—we trust you—echoed in her head.

But as training progressed, something felt off. Something small, subtle. Y/N couldn’t quite put her finger on it at first, but a creeping sense of unease began to settle in her chest.

It started with the passing drills.

Normally, she was involved in the tight passing circuits, where quick, sharp ball movement was key. But today, when the ball came her way, it felt… hesitant. Her teammates weren’t passing to her with the same confidence they usually had. They took an extra second before sending the ball her way, as if second-guessing whether she was the right option.

She brushed it off at first, telling herself it was just her imagination. But as the session wore on, she couldn’t ignore it. When she called for the ball during a 5v5 game, her teammates would glance at her and then look away, choosing to pass to someone else instead.

She saw it with Leah too, which hurt the most. Leah, who had always been her biggest supporter on the pitch, was opting for safer options, choosing to play the ball back to the defense rather than through to Y/N in midfield. It was small—barely noticeable—but once Y/N spotted it, she couldn’t unsee it.

The next time Y/N found herself in a shooting drill, McCabe lined up beside her. They were supposed to take turns firing shots on goal. Katie usually threw her arm around Y/N’s shoulder, making some cheeky joke to lighten the mood. But today, she didn’t say a word. When Y/N stepped up for her shot, she felt Katie’s eyes on her—watching, almost like she was expecting her to mess up.

Y/N’s shot went wide, skimming past the post, and Katie muttered something under her breath before quickly taking her own shot without looking at Y/N.

It was nothing obvious. No outright blame. But Y/N felt the growing distance, the subtle shift in the way her teammates interacted with her. They weren’t angry, not openly. But there was something in the way they moved around her now, a hesitation in their movements, as if they no longer fully trusted her to make the right decision on the ball.

When Y/N joined the next possession drill, Alessia caught her eye. Y/N raised a hand, signaling for the pass. She hesitated, her body language stiff, before turning and passing to Katie instead.

Y/N’s stomach dropped. There it is again, she thought. It was happening more frequently now—little moments of hesitation, like they didn’t believe she could handle the pressure. And it wasn’t just Alessia. Kim, the ever reliable captain, even showed a flicker of reluctance when Y/N was in a tight spot.

It wasn’t malicious. No one was purposefully shutting her out. It was more instinctual—an unconscious decision to avoid risk, to play it safe. And in their minds, Y/N was starting to represent that risk.

As the training session wound down, they moved into a full-pitch game. Y/N was determined to prove herself, to shake off this creeping doubt and show her teammates they could trust her again. But every time she tried to make herself available for the ball, there was an invisible wall between her and the rest of the team.

At one point, she found herself in acres of space on the left flank. She waved her arms, calling for the ball. Stina had it, and Y/N was the obvious option. But instead of playing the pass, she turned in the opposite direction, playing a shorter, safer ball back to the defense.

Y/N stopped in her tracks, feeling her chest tighten. It wasn’t just hesitation now. It was avoidance. They didn’t trust her.

The game continued, but Y/N couldn’t focus. Her mind was racing, replaying every moment from training. It was like a million tiny fractures forming around her, each subtle action another crack in the trust she had been working so hard to build.

By the end of the session, Y/N was exhausted—not from the physical exertion, but from the weight of what she had noticed. The trust her teammates had once shown her so freely was no longer there. It was fragile, slipping away with every subconscious decision they made on the pitch. And they probably didn’t even realize they were doing it.

As they walked off the pitch, Y/N lingered behind, staring at her boots, her mind swirling with doubt. She could feel the distance growing between her and the rest of the team, and she wasn’t sure how to bridge the gap.

She thought back to Leah’s words from before—we trust you—but now, those words felt hollow. The truth was staring her in the face. The team didn’t trust her anymore. And the worst part was, she wasn’t sure if she trusted herself either.

Y/N stood in front of the mirror in the Arsenal locker room, her hands gripping the edge of the sink as she stared at her reflection. Dark circles lingered beneath her eyes, a testament to sleepless nights spent agonizing over every touch, every mistake, every moment where her teammates had chosen to pass to someone else instead of her. The subtle rejections, the subconscious actions that screamed they didn’t trust her—it was all too much.

She had tried to brush it off, to tell herself it wasn’t a big deal. But the doubt festered. She had poured her heart into this team, but they had slowly started pulling away from her, treating her like she was a liability, not an asset.

Not anymore.

Today, something snapped inside her. She was done waiting for their approval, done trying to rebuild trust that had crumbled in ways she couldn’t even control. If they didn’t believe in her, she would show them exactly what she was capable of without needing their validation.

She shoved her locker closed with a loud clang, ignoring the curious glances thrown her way by a few of her teammates. Leah looked like she was about to say something, but Y/N didn’t give her a chance. She strode past her, pulling her jacket tighter as she headed out to the training pitch. There was no room for conversation today.

No room for anything but cold, ruthless focus.

From the moment the whistle blew to start the warm-up, Y/N was a different player. Gone was the hesitation, the doubt that had clung to her every movement. Instead, there was a sharpness in her eyes, an edge to her game that none of her teammates had seen before.

During possession drills, she moved with precision, cutting through defenders like they weren’t even there. When the ball came her way, she didn’t wait for approval. She didn’t care about making the safe play. Every pass was crisp, every touch was purposeful, and every shot was hit with venom.

Katie, usually quick with a joke or a snide remark, felt the sting of Y/N’s newfound intensity. During a one-on-one duel, Y/N drove past her with ease, leaving Katie stumbling in her wake. Instead of the usual banter that followed, Y/N didn’t even look back. She kept moving, eyes focused on the next target.

"Alright, Y/N, calm down," she muttered under her breath, but there was no real heat in her voice. She was unnerved, like the rest of them.

It wasn’t just Katie. In a scrimmage, Alessia found herself outmuscled by Y/N, who bulldozed past her to fire a shot into the top corner. Alessia frowned, jogging back as Y/N turned away without celebration, her expression icy.

Even Leah, who had always been Y/N’s closest ally, noticed the shift. When she tried to give a piece of tactical advice, Y/N brushed her off, barely sparing her a glance. “I’ve got it,” Y/N said flatly, cutting off any attempt at friendly instruction. Leah blinked in surprise, unsure of what to say.

Training became a battleground, and Y/N was at the center of it all—uncompromising, ruthless, and unwilling to let anyone stand in her way. She played every drill as if it were a final, every duel as if it were personal. And it worked. Her teammates, once hesitant to pass her the ball, started giving it to her again—but it wasn’t out of trust. It was out of fear.

By the end of the session, the team gathered around the coach for final instructions, but Y/N stood apart, her arms crossed, eyes distant. She could feel the unease settling in around her, could see the way her teammates exchanged glances when they thought she wasn’t looking. They were confused. They didn’t understand where this version of Y/N had come from.

The truth was, she didn’t care if they understood. They had pushed her aside, made her feel like she didn’t belong. Now, she was taking control.

As they broke for the locker room, Leah jogged up beside her. “Y/N, you alright? You were… intense out there today.”

Y/N didn’t slow down. “I’m fine,” she replied curtly, her voice lacking any warmth.

Leah frowned, clearly unsettled by the change in her demeanor. “Look, I know things have been rough, but we’re a team. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Y/N stopped, turning to face her with a cold, hard stare. “A team?” she repeated, bitterness lacing her words. “Funny, I didn’t feel like part of the team when you all stopped passing to me. When you decided I wasn’t good enough.”

Leah opened her mouth to respond, but Y/N didn’t give her the chance.

“Save it,” Y/N said, her voice low and sharp. “I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need your trust anymore. I’m done waiting for you all to decide I’m worth it.”

Without another word, Y/N turned on her heel and walked away, leaving Leah standing there, speechless.

The next few days passed in a blur of cold stares and silence. Y/N threw herself into every training session with the same brutal intensity, shutting everyone out. The team, sensing the shift, began to tread carefully around her. The friendliness returned—Alessia tried striking up conversations, Katie offered her usual teasing remarks, and Leah went out of her way to compliment Y/N’s play. But Y/N ignored it all.

She was done playing their games.

During a team meeting, Kim passed her a bottle of water with a small smile, but Y/N took it without even acknowledging her. The tension was palpable. The more Y/N distanced herself, the more her teammates tried to reach out—but it was too late. She wasn’t interested in their sudden friendliness, not after they had shut her out when she needed them most.

On the pitch, Y/N was a force to be reckoned with. No one dared question her decisions anymore. She was playing with the kind of confidence that didn’t require validation from anyone else. But off the pitch, she was unreachable. Every attempt to joke, to lighten the mood, was met with icy indifference. She had built a wall, and she wasn’t letting anyone through.

The team, once so close-knit, was beginning to fracture, and Y/N could see it in their eyes. They wanted things to go back to normal. They wanted the old Y/N back—the one who laughed with them, joked with them, leaned on them.

But that Y/N was gone.

The next game came, and Y/N walked onto the pitch with the same cold determination she had carried into training. She didn’t hear the crowd, didn’t see the banners or feel the weight of the expectations. All she knew was that she was there to do her job, and she would do it without looking back.

She didn’t need their trust anymore. She had her own.

The stadium was buzzing with anticipation as Y/N stepped out of the tunnel, the familiar roar of the crowd hitting her like a wall. But this time, the noise wasn’t for her. It was against her.

Booing.

Loud, relentless, and piercing. The sound echoed in her ears, like a knife twisting in her gut. As Y/N walked onto the pitch, her heart pounded—not from nerves, but from the searing burn of betrayal.

It wasn’t just the boos. The fans were chanting, harsh words spilling from their mouths, voices full of venom. She could hear it all.

“OVERRATED!”

“BENCH WARMER!”

“WASTE OF MONEY!”

Her jaw tightened, but she kept walking, eyes forward, refusing to let the weight of their hatred drag her down. It wasn’t the first time she had felt like an outsider. But this time, it stung worse than ever, because these were supposed to be her fans. The ones who had cheered her name when she first arrived. The ones who had celebrated her goals. Now, they were tearing her apart.

Her teammates exchanged nervous glances, clearly feeling the tension in the air. Leah moved closer to her, like she wanted to say something, but Y/N brushed past her. There was no point in talking. Not anymore.

She didn’t need anyone’s comfort. Not from her teammates. Not from the fans.

As the match kicked off, Y/N felt the tension in every muscle, like a coiled spring ready to snap. The ball zipped across the field, but for the first few minutes, it was hard to focus. The boos still rang in her ears, cutting deep. She could feel the eyes of the crowd on her, waiting for her to slip up, waiting for her to prove them right.

But she wouldn’t give them that satisfaction.

It started with a subtle shift—a quick turn on the ball, shaking off a defender with ease. Then, a sharp pass that split the midfield open, setting up a dangerous attack. And then, when the ball came her way again, she sprinted down the wing, faster and sharper than she had in weeks.

She was done playing with doubt.

By the 30th minute, Y/N had transformed the game. She was everywhere—breaking up play, threading impossible passes, cutting through defenders like they weren’t even there. Her touch was magnetic, pulling the ball toward her with a kind of grace and aggression that no one could ignore.

The crowd’s boos had softened. She could feel it—the shift in the atmosphere as the fans started to realize what they were witnessing. But she didn’t care. She wasn’t playing for them.

With ten minutes left in the first half, Y/N found herself at the edge of the box, surrounded by defenders. The crowd held its breath as she glanced up, eyes scanning the field with laser focus. And then she made her move—one swift cut to the left, leaving two defenders trailing behind, before curling a shot around the keeper and into the far corner of the net.

The stadium erupted into cheers, the same voices that had been jeering her now roaring her name.

But Y/N didn’t react. No fist pumps. No celebratory screams. No running toward the fans like she might have done before. Instead, she stood in place, her chest rising and falling with steady breaths as the noise washed over her.

And then she turned to the crowd—slowly, deliberately.

With one hand, Y/N pressed her index finger to her lips in a quiet, commanding gesture. The "Speak Now" celebration. Silence. She was demanding their silence.

The fans, mid-cheer, faltered, the shift in her expression unmistakable. It wasn’t a celebration. It was a statement.

She had heard them. She had felt every one of their insults, their boos, their taunts. And she had answered with her performance.

But she didn’t need their approval. She didn’t need their cheers now that she was winning.

The second half began, and Y/N played with the same intensity. The crowd was fully behind her now, cheering with every touch, every pass, every sprint down the wing. But she didn’t acknowledge it.

She didn’t need their validation.

Another assist, another goal, and yet she never once lifted her head to thank the crowd. Even when her teammates tried to pull her into celebrations, she shrugged them off, cold and distant. Her focus was razor-sharp, her mind locked on the game.

The final whistle blew, and Arsenal walked away with a hard-fought victory. The crowd was on their feet, chanting her name now, the same fans who had booed her at the start of the match. They wanted her to soak it in, to smile, to give them the satisfaction of seeing her return their admiration.

But Y/N didn’t even glance their way.

She walked off the pitch as if the noise didn’t exist, her face a mask of stone. Her teammates crowded around her, full of congratulations and praise, but she barely acknowledged them.

It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate her team’s efforts or the win. It was that everything—the trust, the loyalty, the connection—felt hollow now. The boos had cut too deep, the doubt too heavy to shake. She had proven her point, but there was no satisfaction in it. Not from them.

And so, as the cheers rained down from the stands, Y/N kept walking, never once looking back.

The atmosphere in the press room was electric as journalists shuffled in, eager to catch the latest buzz about the upcoming friendly match between England and the USA. Y/N and Sarina sat at the long table, flanked by the team, but she could feel the tension in the air. The media had a way of inflating situations, and today was no different.

Emma Hayes, the newly appointed head coach of the USWNT, sat on the other end of the table Y/N, a self-assured smile on her face. Y/N had always respected Emma’s coaching prowess, but today she could feel the underlying edge in the air, especially as Emma turned her gaze toward her.

“Y/N, your recent performance against Arsenal has sparked a lot of discussions,” one journalist began. “Emma, do you think her confidence is misplaced, given how she has been booed by her own fans?”

Hayes leaned forward, her expression sharp. “Look, I think she’s a talented player, sure. But let’s not kid ourselves. Those goals she scored were lucky. Cockiness doesn’t win matches. We’ll see how she performs against a team that’s been world-class for years.”

Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle, her laughter echoing lightly through the room. The tension seemed to dissolve for just a moment as she leaned into the mic. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” she replied, a playful smirk on her lips. The journalists exchanged glances, half-amused, half-nervous at her nonchalance in the face of Emma’s sharp words.

As the day of the match arrived, the stadium was packed with fans from both sides, the buzz of excitement palpable. Y/N stood in the locker room, her heart racing—not with anxiety, but with determination. She was ready to show everyone, especially Emma, that her skill was no fluke.

The whistle blew, and the game kicked off. From the first touch, Y/N felt the rhythm of the match, moving fluidly with the ball at her feet. The USWNT players were fierce, but Y/N was more than prepared. The first half was intense, with chances flying from both sides. Y/N was quick, agile, and fierce, darting past defenders like a shadow.

Then it happened.

In the 30th minute, Y/N found herself on the edge of the box. The ball came to her, and with a quick glance at the goal, she unleashed a stunning strike that soared into the net, leaving Naeher no chance.

The crowd erupted, and Y/N didn’t just run to her teammates. Instead, she turned to face the USA bench, locking eyes with Emma. A wide smile spread across her face, and she raised her arms in a triumphant celebration, soaking in the cheers of the fans while pointedly ignoring the coach.

“Lucky shot!” Emma mouthed from the sidelines, but Y/N just waved her off, a confident grin on her face.

The game continued, and Y/N was in the zone. Her movements were precise, her decision-making sharp. She danced around defenders, threading through the tightest spaces. And soon enough, she added another goal to her tally—a beautiful header from a corner kick that flew past the keeper.

With each goal, she celebrated more emphatically in front of Emma, reveling in the chance to prove her wrong. After her second goal, she took a moment to blow a kiss toward the US bench, her laughter echoing across the pitch.

“Still lucky?” she mouthed playfully, her heart racing with adrenaline.

The score was now 3-1, and the game was slipping away from the USA. Y/N was relentless, and with fifteen minutes left, she found the ball at her feet yet again. This time, she maneuvered past two defenders before slotting the ball into the bottom corner of the net, her third goal of the match.

The crowd was deafening, a mix of cheers and chants for the England team. Y/N turned to Emma once more, her finger to her lips in that familiar “shh” gesture.

“Guess I’m just lucky,” she called out, a playful wink accompanying her taunt.

By the end of the match, Y/N had scored three goals, leading England to a convincing 4-2 victory. As the final whistle blew, she couldn’t help but beam with pride, the weight of Emma’s earlier comments now nonexistent.

Walking off the pitch, she was met with applause from teammates and fans alike. As Y/N approached the USA bench, she stopped in front of Emma, who looked slightly taken aback by the impressive performance.

“Did you see that, Emma?” Y/N asked, her voice dripping with playful confidence. “I guess my luck worked out today.”

Emma raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms but unable to hide a smirk. “Well played, Y/N. But don’t get too cocky; there’s always a rematch.”

With that, Y/N turned away, laughter bubbling up inside her as she walked toward her teammates, the thrill of victory fueling her every step. She had come to camp to show that she could rise above the doubts and criticisms, and she had done just that—proving, without a doubt, that she was a force to be reckoned with.

The training ground buzzed with excitement as the England team prepared for their next match. Y/N stood a little apart from the others, a mix of anticipation and caution swirling in her stomach. Being back in the camp meant being around her Arsenal teammates, and while she had felt the thrill of victory just days before against the USA, there was still an unspoken tension between them.

After that game, Y/N had celebrated her performance and her ability to rise above their earlier doubts, but deep down, she knew that her relationship with her teammates was still fragile. It was easy to brush off the boos from the crowd, but the weight of her teammates’ previous actions lingered like a ghost at the back of her mind.

“Y/N! Come join us!” Lucy called, her voice bright and inviting as she waved her over to a small group gathered around a table.

Y/N hesitated. Memories of their earlier interactions flooded back—how they had once seemed so united, and how quickly those bonds had frayed. She could see Leah, Alessia, and Beth chatting animatedly, laughter spilling from their lips, and for a moment, Y/N’s heart ached to be part of it. But the echoes of doubt reminded her to tread carefully.

“Hey, just grabbing some water!” Y/N called back, forcing a smile as she took a step away from the group. The last thing she wanted was to fall back into old patterns, to let herself get too close too soon.

After training, Y/N found herself lingering at the edge of the pitch, watching as her teammates shared inside jokes and playful banter. Leah caught her gaze and smiled, her expression warm and genuine. Y/N felt a flicker of longing but quickly smothered it. They had all said things—things that had hurt her—and trust was something that would take time to rebuild.

“Y/N!” Leah jogged over, her breath coming in quick bursts. “Are you joining us for lunch?”

“Maybe later,” Y/N replied, her tone light but her heart heavy. “I want to go over some drills first.”

“Come on, we’d love to have you!” Leah pressed, her eyes hopeful.

Y/N knew Leah meant well, but the offer felt suffocating. She couldn’t shake the feeling that, despite the smiles and apologies, her teammates were still subconsciously doubting her. “I just need a bit of space to clear my head,” she added, trying to soften the rejection.

Leah’s smile faltered for a moment, but she nodded. “Alright, but we miss you, Y/N. Just remember that.”

As Leah walked back to the group, Y/N felt the familiar mix of guilt and resolve. She missed them too, but keeping them at arm’s length felt like the only way to protect herself right now.

Later that evening, the team gathered for a meeting in their accommodations. The atmosphere was light, filled with laughter and chatter as the coaches outlined their strategy for the upcoming match. Y/N sat at the back, her heart racing as she tried to focus on the plans laid out before them.

When the discussion shifted to team bonding, Alessia looked around, her eyes landing on Y/N. “What about a game night later? We could all use a bit of fun!”

Y/N felt a surge of warmth at the suggestion, but she quickly reminded herself of her boundaries. “Sounds great, but I might skip out tonight,” she said, forcing a casual tone. “I have some things to catch up on.”

Tooney tilted her head, a teasing smile dancing on her lips. “You’re always ‘catching up’ on something, Y/N. Come on, just for a little while?”

It would be so easy to say yes, to slip back into the comfort of friendship and camaraderie. But Y/N felt the walls she had built around herself tighten, the need for self-preservation overshadowing her longing for connection.

“Maybe next time,” she said, her voice firm but gentle. “I just need a bit more time to get settled.”

As the night wore on, Y/N lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She felt torn—wanting to reconcile with her teammates but still needing to shield herself from further hurt.

After a while, she heard laughter and chatter in the hallway outside her room. It was her teammates, gathering for their game night. The sounds were inviting, but she remained resolute, knowing that jumping back into the fold too quickly could lead to old wounds reopening.

Yet, in that moment of solitude, she also felt a flicker of hope. Maybe there was a way to navigate this new dynamic—rebuilding trust slowly, one step at a time.

The next morning, during breakfast, Y/N made a tentative decision. She could at least acknowledge her teammates without fully immersing herself in their camaraderie just yet. As she joined the table, she greeted them with a smile, feeling the warmth of their presence.

“Hey, how was game night?” Y/N asked, her curiosity genuine.

“It was hilarious! You missed out on some epic moments,” Alessia replied, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Y/N allowed herself to laugh lightly, feeling the tension begin to ease. “I’ll catch the next one, promise.”

Leah beamed, and Beth leaned in closer. “Good! Just don’t leave us hanging next time, alright? We need our star charades player.”

Y/N nodded, feeling a flicker of warmth spread through her chest. The distance she maintained was still there, but it felt a bit softer. Perhaps she could find a balance—a way to keep her teammates at arm’s length while still allowing for the possibility of healing.

As the meal continued, Y/N remained engaged, listening to their stories and sharing light banter. She felt the barriers she had built slowly start to shift, the cracks allowing for a fragile connection to grow.

Maybe reconciliation didn’t have to mean complete vulnerability. It could be a dance, a careful waltz where trust was rebuilt step by step, and for now, that was enough.

---

The fluorescent lights of the Arsenal training facility felt harsh as Y/N entered the lounge, her mood buoyed by a solid training session. The sounds of laughter and chatter greeted her, but today, an unease settled in her chest. She had been meaning to talk to Leah, but every time she tried, the words got stuck in her throat. There was still an invisible barrier between them, one that neither seemed to know how to cross and Y/N missed her friend.

Y/N grabbed her phone, scrolling through her notifications absentmindedly. A new tweet caught her eye, and curiosity got the better of her. She clicked on it, her heart sinking as she recognized the page that had been gaining traction online. It was a cruel account that thrived on negativity, targeting players with biting insults and relentless mockery.

“Can you believe how overrated she is? Just one lucky game against the USA, and suddenly she thinks she’s the star of the team. Please.”

Y/N felt her stomach churn as she read through the comments, each one more brutal than the last. They mocked her skills, her personality, and her place in the team. It was disheartening, especially when all she wanted was to be seen and valued.

As she scrolled, something caught her attention. One tweet mentioned a moment that only one person knew about—something deeply personal she had confided in Leah during one of their late-night talks. It was a painful memory from her childhood, one that she had kept locked away, sharing only with someone she thought she could trust.

“Funny how she thinks she’s a part of this team when she can’t even handle the pressure. Remember that time she almost broke down after a practice? Guess she just can’t take the heat.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. Anger surged through her, hotter than anything she had ever felt. How could someone know about that moment unless they were there? And the only person there was Leah.

“Leah?” Y/N whispered, her heart racing as realization dawned on her. The only person she had ever opened up to was Leah. A cold shiver ran down her spine. Was she behind this hate page? The betrayal felt like a sharp knife twisting in her gut.

With trembling fingers, she clicked on the profile. It was anonymous, of course, but the account had a familiar rhythm and tone, one that she recognized all too well. Her heart sank further as she began connecting the dots. Leah’s laughter, her playful teasing—it all felt different now, tainted by this newfound suspicion.

Y/N’s mind raced. Was Leah really behind this? Was she laughing at her, too?

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Y/N tried to focus during training, but every time Leah’s voice rang out, her blood boiled. She could feel Leah’s eyes on her, and it made her skin crawl. Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal looming like a dark cloud.

After training, she made her way to the locker room, determination settling in her bones. Y/N needed to confront Leah. She needed answers.

As she entered, the atmosphere was lively, with teammates joking and chatting, but Y/N felt like an outsider. Leah was at her locker, chatting animatedly with Katie, but when she noticed Y/N, her expression faltered slightly.

“Hey, Y/N! Great session today!” Leah called, forcing a smile.

Y/N felt a surge of anger at Leah’s false cheer. “We need to talk,” she said, her tone cold and flat.

Leah’s smile faded, replaced by confusion. “Uh, okay? What’s up?”

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. “I saw that page again.You know the won that keeps going viral with the troll tweets. And there was something in there… something I only told you.”

Leah’s brows knitted together, " I don't kn-" but before she could respond, Y/N pressed on. “You know what I’m talking about. How could someone else know that, if it wasn’t you? Either your telling someone and their writing this or your the dick behind the page. So, which one is it are you a gossip or are you just a bitch?"

The locker room fell silent, the laughter and chatter abruptly cut off as all eyes turned to them. Leah’s expression shifted from confusion to something deeper, a flicker of guilt that didn’t go unnoticed.

“Y/N, I—” Leah started, but Y/N cut her off, unable to bear the thought of excuses.

“No! You don’t get to explain. How could you? After everything we’ve been through, how could you betray me like this?”

The air was thick with tension. Y/N could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, the embarrassment of her feelings laid bare in front of their teammates.

Leah stepped closer, her voice low. “I swear I didn’t—”

“Then how? How could they know about something so personal unless you had something to do with it?” Y/N’s voice cracked, anger mixed with hurt.

“Y/N, listen. I would never do that to you,” Leah insisted, her eyes earnest. “You have to believe me. There are people out there who will twist your words, but I’m not one of them. I’ve got your back.”

But Y/N wasn’t convinced. “Do you? Because it feels like you’re just another person trying to bring me down.”

Leah’s expression shifted to frustration. “That’s not fair! You’re pushing me away, and now you’re making it seem like I’m the enemy when I’m just trying to help.”

Y/N shook her head, a mix of anger and sorrow swirling inside her. “You don’t get it, Leah. It’s hard for me to trust anyone, and especially someone I thought I could confide in.”

Silence fell heavy around them, and Y/N could see the hurt in Leah’s eyes. For a moment, the world faded away, leaving just the two of them and the pain that had grown between them.

“Y/N, I swear I didn’t say anything. Please believe me. We’re a team, and I want to be there for you,” Leah pleaded, stepping closer.

But Y/N took a step back, the distance between them feeling necessary. “I need time. Time to figure things out.”

With that, Y/N turned and walked out of the locker room, leaving behind the laughter and camaraderie that once felt like home. The weight of betrayal hung over her, and as she stepped into the cool air outside, she felt more alone than ever.

In the days that followed, Y/N struggled with the heaviness in her heart. The hate page was still active, and the words stung more than ever. Each cruel tweet felt like a dagger, but knowing that Leah could have been involved made it unbearable.

She maintained a distance from her teammates, especially Leah. While they tried to include her, Y/N kept her walls up, her trust shattered. The once-strong bonds felt like threads about to snap.

During training, Y/N poured all her anger into her performance, her determination becoming a shield against the hurt. But even as she excelled, the shadows of doubt lingered, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that Leah had betrayed her trust.

Maybe reconciliation would come with time, but for now, Y/N knew she had to protect herself, even if it meant facing the world alone because no matter what she knew she could only rely on herself.

---

The cool breeze swept through the streets of Barcelona, wrapping around Y/N as she stepped off the plane, her heart pounding with excitement and apprehension. It felt surreal to finally be here, ready to begin a new chapter of her life with FC Barcelona Femení. After months of heartache and distrust at Arsenal, she had made the easy decision to leave, believing that a fresh start was exactly what she needed.

As she arrived at the training facility, Y/N could feel the energy buzzing in the air. The place was a hive of activity—coaches shouting encouragement, players laughing and teasing each other as they prepared for the upcoming season. It was a stark contrast to the tension she had experienced at Arsenal, and Y/N felt a flicker of hope ignite within her.

“Welcome, Y/N!” a voice called out, and she turned to see the familiar face of her new coach, Pere Romeu. He approached her with a warm smile, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “We’ve been waiting for you. You’re going to love it here.”

Y/N returned the smile, feeling a sense of belonging start to settle in her chest. She had seen glimpses of the camaraderie within the team through videos and social media, but experiencing it firsthand was something entirely different.

As she entered the locker room, the atmosphere was lively. Teammates greeted her with open arms, welcoming her as if she had always been part of the squad. Each hug and friendly smile chipped away at the walls she had built around herself.

“Y/N! Finally!” said Aitana, pulling her into a tight embrace. “We’re so excited to have you here!”

“Yeah, it’s about time you joined us,” said Ingrid with a teasing grin. “Barcelona’s been waiting for your magic.”

Y/N laughed, her heart swelling with warmth. This was a team that valued her, and it felt refreshing after everything she had endured. As they settled into the day’s training session, Y/N found herself blending seamlessly into the rhythm of the squad. The drills were challenging yet invigorating, and the players pushed each other to be their best, encouraging her along the way.

During a break, Y/N sat with her new teammates, feeling the warmth of their camaraderie. The conversation flowed easily, and for the first time in a long while, she felt at ease.

“So, what do you think of the city so far?” asked Jana, the young winger with a vibrant smile and infectious energy.

“It’s beautiful,” Y/N replied, glancing around at the bustling atmosphere. “I can’t believe I’m finally here. It feels like a dream.”

“Just wait until you see the Camp Nou,” Jana said, her eyes lighting up with excitement. “It’s incredible. The fans are amazing. You’re going to love playing there.”

As they chatted, Y/N couldn’t help but notice the way Jana’s laughter made her heart race. There was something special about the way they connected, and Y/N felt a warmth bloom within her. But she quickly reminded herself to be cautious. After everything she had been through, it felt risky to let her guard down again.

The weeks rolled by, and Y/N continued to settle into life at Barcelona. The team had embraced her wholeheartedly, making her feel like an integral part of their family. She found herself laughing more, training harder, and genuinely enjoying the game again. It was a refreshing change from the suffocating atmosphere she had left behind.

Jana became a constant presence by her side, their bond growing stronger with each passing day. They shared jokes during training, worked together on drills, and celebrated each other’s successes. Y/N found herself looking forward to their moments together, her heart fluttering whenever Jana flashed her that brilliant smile.

“Hey, do you want to grab dinner after training?” Jana asked one day, her tone casual, but Y/N could see the spark of hope in her eyes.

“Sure, that sounds great,” Y/N replied, feeling a rush of excitement. “I’d love to.”

That evening, they found a cozy little restaurant tucked away in the streets of Barcelona. Over delicious tapas and laughter, Y/N felt the last of her walls crumble. Jana’s easy laughter and genuine curiosity about her life made her feel seen and valued in a way she hadn’t experienced in far too long.

“You know, I’m really glad you’re here,” Jana said, her voice softening. “You bring something special to this team.”

Y/N’s heart raced at the sincerity in Jana’s words. “I’m glad to be here too. I was nervous about starting fresh, but everyone has made it so easy.”

Their eyes locked for a moment, and Y/N felt a surge of emotions rushing to the surface. Could she really let someone in again? Could she risk the possibility of heartbreak?

“Y/N,” Jana began, her expression turning serious, “I know this might be too soon, but I feel like we have a connection. I like you, and I want to get to know you better. Would you—”

Before Jana could finish, Y/N felt a rush of warmth flood her cheeks. “I like you too,” she admitted, her heart racing. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to say it.”

A wide smile spread across Jana’s face, lighting up the dimly lit restaurant. “Really? I thought I was going to have to convince you.”

Y/N laughed, her worries dissipating. “No convincing needed. I just… I was scared. But I want to see where this goes.”

They continued to talk, the evening slipping away unnoticed as they shared stories and dreams, laughter echoing through the air. As they walked back, hand in hand, Y/N felt a sense of hope and excitement. The walls she had built around her heart were finally crumbling, replaced by something beautiful and promising.

The next day, Y/N stepped onto the pitch at Camp Nou for the first time, her heart swelling with pride and anticipation. The stadium was a sea of blue and garnet, the fans chanting in unison. The energy was electric, and as she took her place among her teammates, she felt a rush of belonging.

With every touch of the ball, Y/N felt freer than she ever had before. The love and support from her new team poured into her, fueling her performance. Each pass, each run, felt like a celebration of her new beginning.

As the game progressed, the cheers from the crowd washed over her, a stark contrast to the boos she had once faced. This time, she was embraced by love and acceptance, and it felt like coming home.

After scoring her first goal, Y/N couldn’t help but run towards the stands, raising her arms in celebration. The crowd erupted, chanting her name. In that moment, she knew she had made the right choice. She was no longer defined by her past, but by the love and trust she was building here in Barcelona.

As the final whistle blew, Y/N joined her teammates in the center of the pitch, laughter and joy filling the air. Jana wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close. “I knew you’d shine here,” she said, her voice filled with pride.

Y/N smiled, feeling the warmth of friendship and love enveloping her. “Thank you for being here, for believing in me.”

They stood together, basking in the joy of the moment, surrounded by teammates and fans who had welcomed her with open arms. Y/N had finally found her place, her new family, and with Jana by her side, she was ready to embrace whatever the future held.

---

The atmosphere at the Emirates Stadium was electric as Arsenal prepared to face FC Barcelona in the UEFA Women’s Champions League. Fans filled the stands, a sea of red and white waving flags, and the air buzzed with excitement and anticipation. For Y/N, it was a match fraught with mixed emotions. On one hand, she was thrilled to be back at the stadium where she had spent so many seasons; on the other, she knew that her former team was about to face a Barcelona squad that had embraced her fully since her transfer.

As the whistle blew to start the match, Y/N took her position on the pitch, feeling the weight of expectations from both sets of fans. Arsenal’s supporters had always been a source of pride, but she could feel the tension building among her former teammates. The first half was grueling, with Barcelona quickly demonstrating their dominance. Y/N played fiercely, but it was clear that the synergy of her new team was unmatched.

With each goal that slipped past Arsenal’s defense, Y/N felt a pang of sympathy for her old teammates. The score climbed higher, reaching a staggering 10-0 by the final whistle. Y/N scored three goals herself, her joy tempered by the sheer humiliation of the scoreline. The cheers from the Barcelona fans were a stark contrast to the silence that enveloped the Arsenal supporters.

As the teams shook hands after the match, Y/N noticed Leah Williamson, her former friend, standing a few feet away, looking utterly defeated. The tension in the air was palpable. Leah’s eyes flickered over to Y/N, and for a moment, there was a mix of resentment and longing.

Y/N approached Leah, her heart racing. She had spent so long trying to rebuild her self-worth, and now, in the aftermath of such a humiliating defeat, she felt a surge of confidence. “Looks like you could use some practice on the pitch,” Y/N said, a smirk creeping onto her lips. “I mean, ten goals? Even I didn’t think you could be this generous.”

Leah’s expression shifted from surprise to anger, her fists clenching at her sides. “That was a team effort, Y/N,” she replied sharply, her tone laced with frustration. “Don’t think this is all on me.”

Y/N’s smirk widened, sensing Leah’s vulnerability. “But you were the captain, weren’t you? I guess leading your team to a double-digit loss really takes a toll on your leadership skills.”

The words stung, and Y/N saw the hurt flash across Leah’s face. For a brief moment, she regretted her harshness, but the adrenaline from the match kept her bravado intact. Leah opened her mouth to retort, but Y/N cut her off.

“Honestly, I didn’t expect much from you. But hey, at least I finally got to officially score a few goals against you,” Y/N added, the edge in her voice almost triumphant.

Leah’s eyes narrowed, her posture stiffening. “You think you’re so clever now, don’t you? Just remember, you’re not as untouchable as you think.”

“Touché,” Y/N replied, raising an eyebrow. “But I guess this proves that the grass really is greener on the other side, doesn’t it?”

With that, Y/N turned on her heel, walking away from Leah, leaving her former vice-captain standing alone amidst the chaos of post-match interviews and congratulatory shouts from her new teammates. She could hear the echo of Leah’s frustration behind her, but she didn’t turn back.

As she joined her Barcelona teammates, celebrating the victory, Y/N felt a mix of satisfaction and sadness. The rivalry was fierce, but she had finally stepped into her power, leaving the past behind her.

---

It was that time of the year again international duty and the atmosphere at England’s training camp was usually vibrant, filled with laughter and camaraderie as players prepared for their upcoming matches. However, today felt heavy, charged with unspoken words and brewing animosities. Y/N and Leah had been circling around each other all week, their past unresolved and emotions simmering beneath the surface.

During a break in training, Leah made a comment that set Y/N off. “You know, if you spent half as much time focusing on the team as you do on your Instagram following, maybe we’d actually win something,” Leah said, her tone dripping with disdain.

Y/N whipped around, eyes blazing. “Oh, please. At least I have accomplishments to celebrate. You should try winning sometimes instead of hiding behind your club legacy like a shield.”

Leah stepped forward, her frustration palpable. “You think it’s easy? Being the one everyone looks to when things go wrong? You’re just too wrapped up in your own world to see that.”

“Wrapped up? Is that what you call it? Because I call it self-preservation,” Y/N shot back, her voice rising. “I mean, let’s not pretend like you haven’t spent your fair share of time trying to tear me down behind the scenes. How’s that secret hate page working out for you, Leah? Oh wait, you wouldn’t know. It’s not like I told you about it.”

Sarina, looked over from where she was chatting with another coach. She noticed the escalating tension and approached the two players. “What’s going on here?” she asked, her voice calm yet firm.

“Nothing,” Leah snapped, crossing her arms defensively.

Y/N scoffed. “Oh, it’s definitely something, Sarina. Leah here seems to think she can criticize my focus while she’s been busy playing the victim. I mean, it must be exhausting being the team’s emotional punching bag.”

“Emotional punching bag? Really?” Leah’s voice shook with anger. “You have no idea what it’s like to carry the weight of this team on your shoulders. You think you can just waltz in, score a few goals, and suddenly you’re god?”

“Waltz in? That’s rich coming from you. How about I just return the favor for all the snide remarks and backhanded comments you’ve thrown my way? This is what you wanted, right? A little taste of your own medicine?” Y/N countered, a cruel smile on her lips.

Sarina stepped in, sensing the need to de-escalate the situation. “Both of you, enough. We’re here to prepare for our upcoming matches, not to air grievances. Y/N, Leah, take a step back. You’re both valuable players, but this isn’t helping anyone.”

Y/N folded her arms, refusing to back down. “I’m just calling it like I see it, Sarina. Leah acts like she’s so above it all, but the truth is, she’s just petty. She has no right to throw stones when she’s living in a glass house.”

Leah’s cheeks flushed with anger, but she remained silent, clearly struggling to find a response. Sarina continued, “Y/N, if you have an issue, you need to address it in a constructive way. Leah, you need to step back and consider how your words affect your teammates. This isn’t just about you anymore.”

Y/N took a deep breath, her defiance softening slightly. “Constructive? Like how Leah constructs her little narratives about me? I’m just giving her a taste of her own medicine.”

“Enough!” Sarina said sharply, drawing the attention of the other players nearby. “You both need to put this behind you. We’re a team, and right now, it seems like you’re more focused on tearing each other down than working together.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, finally stepping back. “Fine, whatever. I’ll keep my distance. Seems like that’s what you want anyway, Leah.”

Leah glared, but the fire in her eyes began to dim. “I didn’t ask for this, Y/N. You’re the one making it personal.”

“Personal? Oh, it’s definitely personal now,” Y/N said, a bitter smile crossing her lips. “But don’t worry, I won’t let your insecurities ruin my game. I’ll just make sure to keep winning while you wallow in your own self pity.”

With that, Y/N turned and walked away, the tension still thick in the air. Sarina watched her go, a frown etched on her face. The camp had enough challenges without internal conflicts tearing them apart.

As Y/N walked away, she could hear Leah muttering something under her breath, but she refused to turn back. This was her moment to stand her ground, even if it meant losing a friendship in the process.

“Good luck carrying that weight, Leah,” she called over her shoulder, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m sure you’ll manage just fine.”

The atmosphere in the England camp had been tense since the blow-up between Y/N and Leah. Sarina had taken time to consider the situation, and the repercussions were about to unfold. As players prepared for the upcoming friendly against Spain, the weight of unspoken tensions lingered in the air.

Y/N was sitting in the lounge, scrolling through her phone, when Sarina entered the room with a serious expression. “Y/N, can I have a word?” she said, gesturing for Y/N to follow her to a quieter corner.

“Sure,” Y/N replied, her stomach twisting with unease.

Once they were away from prying ears, Sarina crossed her arms. “I’ve spoken with the coaching staff about your altercation with Leah,” she began, her tone firm but not unkind. “While I understand your frustrations, your behavior was unacceptable. I need to maintain a cohesive team environment, especially as we head into an important match against Spain.”

Y/N felt her heart race, the earlier argument replaying in her mind. “So what? You’re just going to punish me and let Leah walk away scot-free?”

“Leah is the captain. She was trying to keep the team united. She’s been through a lot and is trying to lead,” Sarina replied. “I’m giving you a one-match suspension. You won’t be playing against Spain.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “You can’t be serious! This is ridiculous! Leah instigated it! You can’t just let her off the hook like this.”

“Y/N,” Sarina said sharply, “This is about maintaining discipline. You can choose to see this as unfair, but I need you to focus on the team. This is not just about you.”

Feeling a surge of anger and betrayal, Y/N’s voice dropped, her words laced with resentment. “Fine. If you think I’m the problem, then I’ll take my problems elsewhere.” Without waiting for a response, Y/N stormed out of the room, her heart pounding in her chest.

An hour later, as the team gathered for the pre-game meeting, Y/N made a decision that shocked even herself. She would withdraw from international duty entirely. She sent a quick message to Sarina and the coaching staff, stating her intent to leave. She packed her belongings and headed out of the hotel, her heart heavy but resolute.

As she stepped into the bright lights of the stadium, she found a spot among the crowd, far from the field where her teammates were warming up. She pulled on the Spain jersey that Jana had gifted her during one of their dates, the bright red fabric feeling both foreign and comforting. It was a bold statement, and she felt a rush of defiance as she settled into her seat.

The match kicked off, and Y/N watched with a mix of emotions. Her former teammates were battling on the field, and every time Leah made a play, Y/N felt a pang of conflict—anger mixed with a sense of longing. The fans around her cheered and jeered, the energy of the game intoxicating. Yet, she felt strangely detached, her heart pounding not just for the game but for what she had left behind.

As the game progressed, Y/N couldn’t help but cheer for Spain even though she loved playing for England, England didn't love her. But she loved Jana played for Spain and Y/N loved her and she loved Y/N. It was exhilarating to be on this side of the field, free from the pressures of being in the squad. Every goal scored by Spain felt like a release, and she found herself shouting and celebrating as if she were one of their players. The rush of adrenaline filled her as she threw her arms up with the crowd, feeling a sense of liberation wash over her.

Throughout the match, she caught glimpses of Leah on the field, the captain doing her best to rally her team. But as the minutes ticked by, Y/N felt the bitter taste of betrayal lingering in her mouth. It was not just Sarina’s decision that hurt, but the realization that Leah, who had once been a close friend, was now part of a system that had betrayed her.

By the time the final whistle blew, signaling a hard-fought victory for Spain, Y/N felt a complex mix of emotions. She had made her choice, but now she was left with the consequences. As she watched the celebration unfold on the pitch, she knew that this was a pivotal moment for her—one that might change the course of her career and friendships forever.

“Looks like I made the right choice after all,” she muttered under her breath, the vibrant red of the Spain jersey standing out against the sea of England colors around her. “Let’s see how they handle this.”

With that thought, Y/N settled back into her seat, ready to embrace whatever came next.

As the final whistle echoed through the stadium, Y/N felt a rush of exhilaration. The Spanish team was celebrating their well-deserved victory, and she was ready to join in the festivities. She spotted Jana, her girlfriend, amidst the throng players calling friends and family down to the field. The sight of her made Y/N’s heart swell with a warmth she hadn’t felt in a long time.

With a grin, Y/N pushed her way through the jubilant crowd, joining Jana and their friends. “Did you see that goal?” Jana laughed, her eyes sparkling. “I swear, I could have scored that one blindfolded!”

Y/N chuckled, playfully rolling her eyes. “You mean like Y/N did with Arsenal last season?” Salma quipped.

“Hey now, let’s not dredge up old traumas,” Y/N replied with a mock frown. “Today is a day for celebrating my favourite team, remember?”

“favourite team, huh? Is that what we’re calling it now?” Jana teased, nudging Y/N with her shoulder. “I think I like the sound of that.”

As the Spanish players began to gather for photos, Y/N felt a sense of belonging that had eluded her for so long. She joined in, posing with Jana and their friends, all laughter and smiles. The atmosphere was electric, filled with camaraderie and joy, a stark contrast to the tension she had left behind with the England team.

But just as Y/N was about to snap a group selfie, she caught sight of Leah across the pitch, flanked by a few other English players. Leah’s expression was a mix of anger and disbelief as she watched Y/N embrace her new life so freely. Y/N felt a thrill of defiance course through her.

“Hey, look who it is,” Y/N called out, raising her phone in Leah’s direction, a cheeky grin plastered on her face. “Do you want to join us for a picture? I’m sure you could use a few tips on how to have fun!”

Leah’s face flushed with irritation as she marched over, her teammates trailing behind her. “Y/N, this is pathetic,” Leah snapped, her voice rising above the celebrations. “You’re acting like you're actually on that team. You didn’t even give us a chance to explain.”

Y/N crossed her arms, maintaining her playful demeanor. “Oh, come on, Leah. You can’t be this upset over a little fun. Don’t you have your own fans to focus on?” She gestured to the scattering of England supporters still lingering near the bench.

Leah stepped closer, her frustration boiling over. “This is serious. You think it’s easy to see a teammate celebrating with the enemy? You’ve turned your back on us!”

“Teammate? Is that what we were?” Y/N shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Seems more like we were just coworkers who barely knew each other.”

Just then, Alexia approached, her presence commanding. She had been watching the exchange with an amused smile. “Oh, Leah,” she interjected, her tone playful yet authoritative. “You should know by now that if a bird wants to leave the flock, you don’t chase after them. You let them fly, especially if they’ve found a better nest.”

Leah opened her mouth to retort, but Alexia continued smoothly, “Besides, you wouldn’t want to throw a tantrum in front of the fans, now would you? That’s a pretty bad look for a captain.”

A hush fell over the surrounding group, and Y/N couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “That’s right, Leah. Maybe take notes from a real captain on how to handle this gracefully,” she quipped, relishing the moment.

Leah’s expression turned to one of barely contained fury, and she took a step back, realizing she was outmatched not just by Y/N but now by Alexia too. “Whatever,” Leah finally muttered, turning on her heel and marching away with her teammates, who looked just as bewildered.

Y/N watched Leah retreat, her heart racing. There was a strange mix of triumph and sorrow in her chest. “Wow, Alexia,” she said, grinning. “That was amazing.”

Alexia shrugged with a smirk. “Just watching out for our own, right? And besides, you deserve to celebrate the win without the baggage of your old team.”

Jana squeezed Y/N’s hand, her eyes shining with admiration. “I knew you’d fit right in with us.”

With that, the group burst into laughter again, the earlier tension fading into the background. Y/N felt free, unburdened by the shadows of her past. She was ready to embrace whatever came next, knowing she had found her place among her new teammates—and in Jana’s arms. Bound by more than trust, bound by love.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The End

[flemingology]

“i might hate you, but i couldn’t bare the thought of you spending christmas alone” for leah williamson

christmas confessions ─ leah williamson x reader

part of my christmas series. full masterlist here!

in which: your christmas plans are interrupted by the british weather conditions, leading to some unexpected confessions from your arsenal vice-captain

warnings: none

wc: 3.7k

A snowstorm. Of all things that could go wrong, a snowstorm was the one that seemed to put a hold on your Christmas plans.

Recently having transferred from Lyon to Arsenal, you'd gotten your head down and focussed on your football. Normally, you'd go home every couple weeks just to be back with your family, but with your recent move you wanted to make sure you secured your spot in the starting eleven. You worked relentlessly hard for weeks on end, not allowing yourself a break, and you were proud of yourself. Really, really proud. Your football journey hadn't been the nicest one yet – your academy years littered with injuries and setbacks, you were over the moon to have finally settled in Arsenal's starting eleven. But you were starting to feel the effects of your hard work, and you started feeling like you needed some time away. To be with your friends and family back home.

Finally, though, the winter break arrived. You had wrapped up the final training session of the calendar year a couple days ago, and you were now set to go home. A couple days, just the last week of the year, before you'd go back to England. A short flight, setting to depart at 3pm, arriving at a little before 5. Your parents would pick you up from the airport and you'd go for dinner, have a drink, before all going back to your childhood home and just enjoying each other's company. But that was without taking England's horrendous winter weather into accord.

It had been horrible the whole week. Freezing cold, snow and rain all throughout the week – it had already caused you a bunch of trouble in trying to get to the grounds in time, but you completely forgot that air traffic could also be affected by the weather. So here you were, in Heathrow, staring at the departure screen as flight after flight got cancelled. Not delayed, not moved, cancelled.

Left stranded, you called the first person you always went to when struggling, needing to rant about the situation.

—

Alessia was spending her Wednesday afternoon the same way she had done for the past 2 years since making her move to Arsenal; getting coffee and a pastry with Leah. The two blondes had grown closer since Alessia made the move to London, their friendship no longer held back by the distance between Manchester and the British capital.

It was nice, their little routine. Football training that day or not, they'd find themselves in a different coffee shop every week to try out their blends, or in Leah's case, their hot chocolate or tea. They would talk about anything and everything, catching each other up on whatever hadn't been said yet at the Arsenal training grounds.

The pair were happily chatting away over a coffee and a mint tea as Alessia's ringtone went off. The striker checked the caller ID and excused herself to Leah, answering the call. She knew you were meant to be on your flight right now, so for you to be calling there must be something wrong. "Y/n? Aren't you supposed to be-"

"Less, my flight got cancelled! The weather has gotten too bad in the past couple hours and everything's been cancelled. I've asked whether it can be rescheduled, but there's nothing free anymore this week. The next available flight was January 2nd, which is a joke! I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now, my family have been preparing for me to come over for the past couple days and I don't want to disappoint them. I just, I don't know-"

"Hey, hey, y/n, take a breath, it's okay." Alessia tried to calm you down, sensing your nerves through the phone. She shot Leah a look, who was sporting a confused frown. "The situation is out of your hands, love. You can't do anything about it. I know it sucks." Alessia heard you sigh on the other end of the call, probably feeling quite defeated over the whole situation. "I know you've been looking forward to seeing your family. As soon as everything's cleared again, we'll get you on the first plane to Germany. I promise you that. Football be damned."

You chuckled on the other end of the call, and Alessia was glad you managed to muster up a small smile. "Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Less." "Don't mention it. I'm here for you, you know that. Do you need me to come pick you up from the airport?" Alessia knew you packed quite heavily and it was going to be a chore to get all of your stuff into a taxi. "No, that's fine. I think I'm gonna sit down and have a coffee here, calm down a bit, and then call a cab. I'll be fine."

Alessia reluctantly agreed, only after having you promise that you'd call her if you needed her help, or if anything went wrong. She finished up the phone call a couple moments later and put her phone back into her pocket with a deep sigh. "She's gutted."

Leah cocked her eyebrows and let the silence linger a little longer, taking a sip from her hot chocolate. "You don't have to pretend with me, you know?" Alessia added. Confusion shot across the defender's face at her words. "What do you mean by that?" The younger girl chuckled and shook her head slightly. "Leah, I know why you're distant with her. But you don't have to be that way when she's not around, god she's at Heathrow Airport of all places. You can let your guard down."

Leah took a deep breath and set her cup down, visibly struggling with how to proceed with the conversation. "I don't know, Less. I just feel like if I don't talk about it, it'll go away. I know I'm being unreasonable, but I'm just protecting myself. I don't want to go through all that hassle again. Last time I dated someone in the work field, it didn't work out. I don't wanna put myself through that again."

"Who's talking about dating, Leah? I know you like her. I'm not saying you have to voice that, but you could at least be civil with the girl. She's overthinking it like mad. She asks me all the time whether she did something wrong. And she's nervous about it, seen as you're the vice-captain at Arsenal too. She thinks you don't like her and is scared she's gonna lose her spot on the team because of that. All I'm asking of you is a little human decency, to treat her like you treat other people."

Leah looked down and started fidgeting with the rings around her fingers. "Yeah, I don't know, maybe." Alessia put her hand on Leah's causing the defender to look up. "It's okay. Just don't be a dick, okay? It's not because you don't have one that you have to be one."

—

When you arrived home a couple hours later that day, suitcases still packed in the corner of the living room, sprawled out over your couch, her caller ID was the last one you'd expected to pop up on your screen.

Leah Williamson.

You sighed deeply and rubbed your hands down your face, not feeling like dealing with whatever your Arsenal teammate wanted to scold you about now. She was probably rewatching a game and felt the need to lecture you about all the things you did wrong, and you weren't in the mood for that. You were her defensive partner after all, and you knew damn well she had high standards, not only for herself but also for others, but it was the winter break after all. Tactics be damned.

You let the call run out, breathing a sigh of relief and settled back into the couch, impatiently waiting for sleep to take over to rid you of your foul mood. Not on Leah's watch, though. No more than a couple seconds had passed before you ringtone sounded through the living room again. Wanting to get it over with so you could get some rest, you decided to pick up.

"What's the deal, Williamson? I'd like to enjoy my break, if I'm allowed? You can lecture me all you want when we're back at the club." You knew you were being curt, maybe slightly unreasonable, but your heightened emotions combined with how the defender had treated you ever since you joined Arsenal made you snap.

"Hey, hey, chill, I'm not calling to lecture you, y/n. God, do you think I'm some fucking loser who does nothing but think about football on their break?"

You didn't like the way this conversation was going, despite only having spoken a couple sentences to one another. You sat up and rubbed a hand down the side of your neck, closing your eyes as you slowly inhaled and exhaled – trying to calm yourself.

"Sorry. My mistake. Why are you calling?"

You heard shuffling on the other end of the phone, the rustling of what sounded like a jacket and shoes being taken off. Of course. Coffee with Less. She probably overheard your conversation with her earlier.

"I was just with Less," she started. Bingo. "and I heard about your cancelled flight. I'm sorry, I know you were looking forward to seeing your family."

You weren't quite used to this sentiment coming from Leah, the England captain having barely said a civil word to you ever since you joined her childhood club. It's not like you didn't speak, it's just that she made it seem like a chore every time she had to string a conversation together with you on the receiving end. Short, blunt, curt, sometimes outright disrespectful. You'd learned to accept that not everybody was always going to like you, but the least you'd expect from people was some basic human decency – something you thought Leah lacked sometimes.

You audibly sighed. "Yeah, it's crap. But I'll be fine. Now that you got that over with, what's the real reason?"

You heard a quiet snicker coming from the other end of the call, struggling to see what was so funny about your conversation. "There's no... other reason, y/n. I just wanted to call and check in. You know, defensive partner and all, just calling to make sure you're not drowning in self-pity."

You could hear the smile that tugged at her lips as she spoke out those final couple words. "Well, thanks, I guess? Thanks for checking in. Have a good rest of your night, Leah." You lowered the phone and were about to end the call, wanting nothing more than to fall back in the cosy bundle of pillows and blankets you'd set up for yourself.

"Oi, wait! I wasn't done!" You grumbled something incoherently under your breath before bringing the phone back to your ear. "I'm listening."

"This is gonna sound really weird, I know, but just let me speak. I was wondering if, if maybe you, you know-" A couple moments of silence followed and you were about to speak up, but Leah interrupted those plans. "If, you know, if you were free to come spend Christmas Eve with me?"

You frowned, taking a moment to gather your thoughts. Leah Williamson, Arsenal teammate, who to your best knowledge absolutely despised you, is inviting you for Christmas Eve? A joke.

"Uhm, I guess, well-" You didn't get much further than that before the blonde's voice interrupted you. "Look, I know how it sounds. You're probably thinking I'm just doing this out of pity and sympathy, you know captain things and all that, but that's not it. I don't have plans, yours have been cancelled, let's spend it together."

If you weren't so caught up in your own thoughts, you would've noticed the slight waver in Leah's voice. She was beyond nervous on the other side of the phone. You'd never said this much to each other in such a short space of time, let alone the contents of what was being discussed. You'd never willingly been in the same room. If not for bonding nights, you'd probably never see Leah outside of the Arsenal training grounds.

You didn't get it, though. You'd spent countless nights wracking your brain as to why Leah would treat you like she did. But you blanked every single time. It gnawed on you. You wanted her to respect you, to acknowledge you, to treat you like she treated others. But she made that seem like the worst thing in the world. Unimaginable, even.

"So?" Leah's voice broke up your train of thoughts and you scrambled together a response without really thinking about what you were saying. "Uhm, sure. I guess. Yeah. Just text me the logistics and I'll be there." You didn't really feel like going, but you also didn't want to give Leah more reason to not speak to you. And in all honesty, you wanted the conversation to be over so you could finally get some sleep.

"Oh! Okay! Yeah, okay, that's great. Thanks. Okay. I'll text you. You text me too, okay? I'll see you then."

Your own goodbyes got interrupted by the tone of the call ending, a confused frown etched on your face at how nervous Leah had suddenly seemed. Not wanting to give it much more thought, you turned off your phone's ringer and threw it on the coffee table, finally drowning yourself in a very well-deserved sleep.

—

Tuesday night, December 24th. 5:23pm. Approximately one hour left until you had to be at Leah's. Of all people, Leah's. When you caught Alessia up about the plans the two of you had made, she reacted slightly suspicious. So much so that you thought she had a hand in it, but she quickly reassured you that was not at all the case. Still, she didn't seem surprised. If anything, she thought it was good. An opportunity for the two of you to just start all over again.

You couldn't lie, that sounded good to you too. You wanted to be friends with Leah, but you also wouldn't just forget how she treated you during your first couple months at Arsenal. That's not something you could forgive and forget through a pity invitation to spend Christmas Eve together.

Yet, you found yourself struggling to find something to wear. You wanted to dress nice, but not too nice, because you're just two friends spending the holidays together. Not lovers, not dating, god, probably not even friends. Teammates? Acquaintances, maybe. At best.

You finally settled on a light green dress. It complimented your body just right, accentuating your curves in all the right places but not too tight. You put on some light make-up and finished off your outfit with some accessories. You checked your appearance about twelve times in your full-body mirror in the living room, 'just to be sure', before eventually grabbing your car keys off the kitchen counter and exiting your apartment block. You debated walking to Leah's, it was a 10-minute walk tops, but that felt like putting too much trust in your pencil heels.

3 quick knocks on the door and a couple seconds later, you were met with a version of your defensive counterpart you'd never seen before. She was dressed in a pair of black slack pants, paired with a white button-up shirt. She had left the top two buttons open, offering a perfect view of the delicate golden necklace gracing her tanned skin. Definitely self-tanner, though, because God forbid the United Kingdom gets a sliver of sun anywhere past September – but you spare her the red cheeks by not pointing it out. Her hair was loose, falling graciously on her shoulders, a welcome change from the bun or ponytail she always had it in during training or games.

"Hey," you muttered, once you realized neither of you had said a word since Leah opened her front door. Unbeknownst to you, while you were eyeing her up, Leah also let her eyes glide over your figure, taking in your appearance. She thought you looked good. Really good. Too good for her own good. That good that she'd probably struggle to not mention it every 5 minutes, when conversation obviously dies down for the 30th time that evening. Because what does she talk about for hours with someone she always pretended to dislike?

Turns out, there's a lot to talk about. Uncomfortable silences? You two don't know those. And while it's been good, it's been comfortable and easy, you still felt quite apprehensive about the whole ordeal. And you could tell by Leah's body language that she was feeling similar to you. Conversation had been flowing easily, but it felt like you were just scratching the surface. Like there was something underneath that needed to be addressed, but neither of you felt like digging deep enough to be able to bring it up. If anything, you thought, that's Leah's job. After all, she was the one to invite you to spend Christmas Eve together after she spent months making you feel like she despised you.

And that's what she did. Eventually. After lots of coaxing and promises that you wouldn't be mad and you understood – you were quite mad and you definitely didn't understand – Leah finally mustered up the courage to talk to you about the past months.

She opened up about everything. How she'd been excited when she learned about your move to the club, at first. But when you came to visit the training grounds on your first day, that sentiment completely changed. Leah had always found you quite attractive, but that wasn't something that had to be dealt with seen as you were across the North Sea and not someone she had to deal with in her day-to-day life. So, even though nothing had been explored between the two of you, not even a single conversation strung together, she already started closing herself off.

She told you about how she kicked herself for it day after day, that she realized damn well how bad she was treating you. She knew that you didn't know where it came from, and that hurt her even more. She didn't want to hurt you, didn't want to treat you any less good than she did with the rest of her teammates, but she just couldn't let her guard down around you. Not with the way you looked, the way you carried yourself on and off the pitch, the way you worked so tirelessly to be the best version of yourself day after day after day. She admired you, really. But she didn't allow herself to feel that. To acknowledge that. To acknowledge you.

"I know it sounds stupid. Trust me, I know. You don't know how many nights I've laid awake just thinking about how poorly I was treating you. But I just couldn't bring myself to not do it. Because that would mean I'd eventually snap and just... tell you everything I've just told you."

You slowly nodded, not trusting your voice just yet after having just been quiet for what has been the best part of 20 minutes. You let her come to you, let her talk until she felt like she said it all, because you knew if you interrupted her she'd maybe forget things.

"And, for the record, I don't want anything in return from you. God, no, I just thought you deserved to know. And no, I didn't invite you out of pity tonight. I just saw an opportunity open up when I learned about your cancelled flight and I knew I had to take it. I couldn't let it go any longer and I needed to tell you. So hence, the invitation. I just hope I didn't ruin the rest of our night now, by confessing all of this."

You chuckled, slightly shaking your head before repositioning yourself a little on Leah's couch. You ran a hand through your hair and breathed out a shaky exhale, locking eyes with Leah as you looked back up at her.

"You're ridiculous, Leah. Honestly, I get it, I think, but treating me like that for this reason, is ridiculous. And I know you know it, but that doesn't mean that I can't tell you too, because-" Leah tried to interrupt you, probably to apologize again, but you held up your hand to signal that you weren't done speaking yet.

"Because, you made me feel like shit, Le. You made me feel like I wasn't worthy of that starting spot at Arsenal, despite knowing damn well that I was doing good in our backline. You made me feel like I didn't belong in the squad, like I did something wrong, like I did something to upset you. It was so conflicting, and it stressed me out. Real bad. It's not a nice feeling when your vice-captain doesn't like you. Or, rather, when you feel like your vice-captain doesn't like you. I know now that that wasn't the case, but that doesn't fix your case."

Leah looked down, fidgeting with her ring-clad fingers. You continued. "Look, Leah, it sucked. But now at least I know what was behind it. And I don't wanna keep being mad at you. Because truthfully, I want to be closer to you, closer with you. I wanna be treated like you treat other people, okay? We can explore whatever needs to be explored later, but first I just want us to be civil with each other."

The blonde defender looked up at you, hastily nodding when she realized you were waiting for some kind of response. "Yeah, yeah, god, yeah, that would be nice." She slightly stumbled over her words, trying to form coherent thoughts in a mind that was running at a 100 miles an hour. You scooted a little closer to her, closing a bit of the space that was between the both of you on the couch and slowly moved your hand closer to hers, that was laying dormant in her lap.

You searched her eyes for any uncertainty, concern, and then softly laid your hand on top of hers, giving it a slight squeeze. "Thank you for opening up," you said softly. "It means a lot to me. I know how you are with feelings." Leah twisted her hand and intertwined your fingers. "Thank you for listening. And thank you for giving me another chance. I promise I'll be better. Better for you."

"I know you will."

[enwoso]

CASUAL — leah williamson

wow, it’s a long one. this has admittedly taken me so long to write. i had the idea of this fic at the start of october but for some reason its just took so long to actually finish lol, but anyways as always hope you enjoy🤍

warning: implied smut, mdni 18+

masterlist

"girl where did you end up last night?" your best friend and also flatmate, amelie asked as you sat in your local cafe debriefing from last nights' night out events over a 'morning' coffee — it was more late afternoon — the two of you having very different endings to the night.

you sat swirling the dregs of your coffee around as you tried to find the way to explain, not so much how you didn't end up back at the flat cause you know she's knows that after catching you walking through the front door at nine am this morning in last nights clothes your head hanging from both the severe amount of alcohol you'd consumed last night but also in slight shame.

it was more whose apartment you stayed at you were trying to find the words to tell her about.

"oh y/n. you didn't did you-" amelie began as you nodded as a defeated sigh left your lips. that being all the clarification your best friend needed. ok, it may not be your proudest moment but who are you to deny a sexy, goddess of a women. but you knew this was heading in the direction of your getting another ear full.

"y/n.. what have i told you, you need to cut all ties with leah. you deserve someone who's going to treat you so much better-" amelie reached out grabbing your hands as you were still looking down at your coffee cup, you looked up a little.

you knew she was right, but you couldn't admit that to yourself. there was something about leah she was addicting and no matter how many times you ended up in between her sheets telling yourself it was the last time, it always happened again.

"yeah but-" you began but amelie gave you a stern look as her eyebrows raised as you rolled your eyes, "ok i get the message, i'll put it on my to-do list — cut leah williamson off." you dryly said, knowing it would be easier said than actually done.

"seriously you need too, your acting like a loser-" amelie continued as you opened your mouth to say something about the small insult she'd thrown your way but you were unable to. "you are though, your better than the rumours that people are spitting-"

"how do you-"

"people talk y/n!"

you'd heard the rumours going around the locals plus there'd been some article posted on an instagram post noticing you in leah's car after a match — you being labelled as 'mysterious girl'.

you weren't known to the media, thank god, you were lucky if you had over two hundred followers as if you had anymore than that fans would have an absolute field day with the news.

instead you were just a normal, twenty six year old girl who'd grown up in north london and had the usual nine to five corporate job as well as having a casual relationship with the leah williamson but you kept that under wraps as after all it was just something which was casual.

you'd met through a mutual friend of yours who also happened to be one of leah's teammates. lotte, who you went to school together and you'd stayed somewhat in contact. it always being a pleasant surprise to see her whenever your paths crossed.

you had bumped into her in a coffee shop near hours before you were being pressed up against a club wall by a blonde defender, having had one too many. the two of you had spent the night being overly touchy and flirting, her lips being felt all around your body leaving your skin feeling hot and your head all fuzzy.

"mine or yours?" leah whispered against your ear, as her teeth grazed your earlobe, you having to refrain yourself from whimpering. leah's hands gripping your hips as your were tangled in the ends of her hair.

"yours" you managed to get out, although it was quiet leah hear every letter. her hands reaching up to grab your hand as she dragged you through the club and towards the exit without as much of a bat of an eyelid towards her friends who she was leaving behind.

to both your luck there was a black cab waiting on the side of the road, both of you taking the chance to get in as leah immediately told the driver her address.

leah's hand stayed on your thigh the entire time as her thumb drew little circles absentmindedly, the busy streets of london making it feel like it's taken hours just to get a few minutes up the road.

as you watched out the window there was a cloud of regret you knew you'd feel in the morning but right now that wasn't what you mind wanted. you right now wanted leah.

so as soon as you cross the threshold of her apartment, you were pinned against the wall. the coldness sending a sharp shiver down your spine. "your so gorgeous" leah whispered as her eyes darkened, the sweet innocence of her blue eyes long gone.

inching closer so that your faces were impossibly close, taking one of her hands as it lands on the back of your neck and kisses you. slow but deep.

letting yourself get lost in her lips as it becomes more passionate and searching but then leah leans back a little, realising that you were in the middle of her hallway.

"come with me, baby" she whispers, her accent thick as the pet name rolls off her tongue but laced with love making your head spin even more as she extends her hand for you to grab as she leads you towards her bedroom, pushing the door open with her foot as her other hand laces itself back around you waist pulling you back to being impossibly close to her.

giving her a teasing look as she kisses you again this one more needy and fervent. feeling her hands all around your body nipping and pulling at your skin as you feel the back of you legs on the edge of her bed. a slight push and you back met with softness of her white sheets.

a small moan leaving leah's lips into the kiss as she felt your hands gently squeeze her ass, feeling her smile against your lips knowing that you were having the same affect on her as she was on you. you were both driving each other crazy.

as the kiss grow more sloppy as whines were being strung from both of your lips, your hips mindlessly starting to slowly grind against her. leah moving to kiss your neck leaving small kisses and sucking on your neck that elicited small moans from your lips as your breathing hitches.

leah's kisses to your neck becoming more intense you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter by the second as you hips carried on to move against her. your hands lingering on her back as your nails dug that little deeper, more than likely leaving scratch marks.

"please le-" you moan out softly, needing more.

-

that wasn't the last time you saw the blonde defender, nor the last time you ended up with your limbs tangled between each other.

whenever the other had, had a drink or just when you needed company leah seemed to always be there. you felt like you craved her at all hours of the day. you found your mind sometimes wondering what she may be doing when you weren't by her side.

but you weren't together, it was just a casual thing. is what you found you were telling yourself.

but with each weekend that passed you found yourself spending them with leah more and more often. which is exactly what had happened this weekend.

leah had called you, she never calls you only ever texts. strange is what you thought when you saw her caller id on the screen a small smile slipping onto your lips as you pressed accept.

"hello?" you said as leah was yet to speak, you thought maybe she had called the wrong number. maybe she hadn't meant to call you .

"hi y/n-" she finally spoke but she lacked her usual confident tone, this time it had been replaced with a nervous shake of her accent. like she had something in her head that she needed to get out.

"did you need something le?" you ask as there is a deafening silence on the other end, a few rustling sounds before leah clears her throat.

"um are you doing anything this afternoon-" leah paused as you think to your plans for the afternoon, "more specifically are you doing anything at two?" leah continued as she waited your response as you hummed.

"no i should be free, why?" you asked wondering what this was going to lead to, what did she have planned.

"fabulous!" a breath of relief was let out from leah as she had a big grin on her face on the other line which if you could have saw would have made you smile, "since you aren't doing anything, do you wanna come to my match?"

you felt as though her words had just fell on deaf ears, you couldn't believe what you were actually hearing. ever since you and leah had- well whatever your relationship was it had always been in the darkness of everyone else, behind peoples back and away from prying eyes.

this felt like a step, you didn't know what direction but it felt like it meant something good.

as you tried to contain your happiness you nodded forgetting she wasn't actually in the room with you, "i- um i would love to le"

"great! i'll erm get your tickets sorted and send them over" leah explained as you hummed along before she quickly had to say her goodbyes claiming that she needed to get her pre match routine started.

since having to re-organise your afternoon, you were now going around rushing trying to find an outfit. not knowing if it was too cliche you going in an arsenal jersey of leah's or whether a subtle hint of red in your outfit would be a better idea.

deciding on just the subtle hint of red, finding a red cap which just so happen to also be leah’s which she’d left at yours after one night.

once you got the match you were amazed at the amount of people who had turned up, yourself not being as clued in of how big a scale women’s football was as admittedly you didn’t exactly have a big interest in football or in sport in general.

but for leah, you’d sit and watch football match after match if you knew it would make her happy.

once you found your seat in the stand you quickly sent the blonde a message not expecting her to even reply but she did.

Y/N:) - i’m here! good luck, i’ll be cheering you on☺️

LE<3 - i seen you! i’ve been looking for that hat. but i think it’s found a better home now;)

LE<3 - meet me near the dugout at the end!

finding yourself smiling at her messages as she sent another telling you what to say to the security so they would let you in to where leah wanted you to be, before slipping your phone back into your pocket ready to watch a game of football.

the ninety minutes felt as if they flew by, and at first you must admit you didn’t exactly understand what you were watching so you just cheered when everyone else around you did, but at the first half and definitely into the second half you managed to get a few rules down — with the help of a google search..

watching as leah walked around clapping and waving to fans looking so effortlessly good in her kit and with the fact she’d just run around for a good ninety minutes it never managed to fail to surprise you how easy she made it look.

despite the team only coming out with a draw which you knew leah would be slightly huffed about especially since they were by far the better team, you still were incredibly proud of her.

walking down and reciting the exact words that leah had messaged you to the security you made it to where she had told you to meet her, but that’s when a certain someone recognised you. a wide smile and arms wide open for you.

"oh y/n it's lovely to see you" amanda engulfed you in a hug, a warm fuzzy but also bittersweet feeling filling your chest. you'd met her mum totally by accident one of the first times that you and leah slept together. she'd been dropping of groceries for her daughter. leah trying to rush you out the door before things got to awkward.

but instead amanda being the polite women she is asked her daughter to introduce you to her. it ending up you stayed an extra two hours longer than you'd planned much to leah's discomfort, but in a way that made it all the more that enjoyable.

"what you doing after here?" amanda asked as she pulled you out the hug, leah lingering just behind you chewing the inside of her lip. "just if your not busy you can always join us for a few drinks" amanda smiled so sincerely as you thought over the invitiation briefly, would it be awkward - maybe? but friends can go out for drinks too!

“yeah, i’d love too” you grinned as a small cheer left amanda’s lips, you seeing the slight falter of a look on leah’s face before it turned back to her signature tight lipped frown.

or maybe you did it just to spite the blonde defender who stood so nervous next to you.

"brilliant! leah we'll wait out at the cars for you" amanda directed towards her daughter as she nodded a small sigh leaving her lips as she plastered on a fake smile, you knew there was a part of her that didnt want you there but that just added fuel to your fire.

amanda looping her arm with yours as the two of you walked towards where the cars would be at the back of the emirates stadium to take you and the williamson family for a few drinks to celebrate the win.

"so how have you been?" amanda asks as she walks beside you, a genuine interest in her tone, as you hum catching her up with your life which hadn't been all that exciting, most days merging into one.

"leah tells me you've been helping her with some business project? how's it going?" amanda asks and you swear your throat started to close up, your words getting stuck in between your lips as your eyes goes wide.

"oh- um yeah it's coming together-" quite literally. you stutter out a response hoping it doesn't raise to much suspicion and praying that the topic is over with just as quick as it came.

"leah won't give me a clue what it's about" amanda complains as she continues to tell you about the countless times she tried to get it out of her daughter as you hummed along more in your head as to why leah would say you were just business partners? why not just say your friends, cause after all you were?

"mhm well i won't be one to spoil the surprise then" you nervously chuckled as you saw the cars in the distance knowing you were close to the end of the conversation. amanda letting out a groan as she hoped she'd be able to get the big surprise out of you but that would be pretty hard considering there was no big surprise.

you were going to have to talk with leah, which would be a little odd as when the two of you were alone, not much talking would be done well not the converse action.

amanda letting go of your arm as she got into the other side of the cab, leah coming out the exit of the back of the stadium as she jogged quickly getting into the people carrier. sitting herself in the seat next to you as she shot you a soft smile.

-

the night was actually going smoothly, leah seemed to get out of whatever strop she was in when you were stood with her family in the emirates and was actually talking to you now. well more flirting with you. her hand getting dangerously high up on your thigh as she spoke.

"have i told you how pretty you look-" she blurted out as you took a small sip of your drink, a small smile appearing on your face as you lifted the glass from your lips and back to the table.

"you may have mentioned a few times" you whispered as this time it was leah's time to smile as her hand drifted a little further up your thigh as you shot her look as she squeezed your thigh making you jump in your seat a little.

"le-" you harhsly said inbetween your teeth as she looked at you so innocently as if she had not clue what she was doing to you but you know she knew. leah knew what her touch was doing to you and how it was affecting you.

leah had you right where she wanted you and honestly, you were going to let her - you'd face the consequences later on. right now, you wanted her, in more ways than one.

standing up with a loud scrape of your chair, all eyes turning to land on you, "m'sorry just- i'll be back-" you stutter out, your cheeks all flushed as you made a beeline straight for the toilets.

amanda looking worryingly over her shoulder at you before turning to leah, who just simply shrugged that making her mum's eyebrows furrow even more.

"i better go and check on her" leah stood up excusing herself as she followed suit pushing the door on the pub toilet door seeing you touching up your lip gloss as you regained your composure from the feeling on her hands on your body.

leah locking the door behind her, a rye smile on her lips as she stepped just that little bit closer to you, feeling your heart beat just that little bit faster.

was it nerves, probably but maybe it was more the uncertainty as you never knew what you were going to get with the blonde.

"are you sure?" leah whispered as she placed a quick kiss to your cheek before resting her hands to your hips as a smug smile came from you before you nodded.

"do you think you can keep up?" leah teased as your shot her a shocked look as she pulled you into deeper into the bathroom, your back now pushed flush against the sink.

"i'm sure i can.. business partner-" you whisper as you inch closer to her, making your eyes switch between her eyes and lips a flash of shock appearing on her face.

but just as leah opened her mouth to say another teasing comment, you wrap your hand behind her neck and slam your lips against hers. the kiss quickly turning heated when leah's tongue enters your mouth as a familiar warmth floods your body in seconds,

her hands gripping at your waist as she tugs you closer to her without breaking the kiss. the sound of your lips together was enough to leave an uncomfortable throbbing inbetween your legs.

leah pulls back for a moment searching for anything in your eyes that may say that you don't want this but there was nothing but lust, a small whine leaving your lips at the loss of contact in your lips before leah's diving right back in.

the sound that had been blasting through the pub had now quieten to a mere hum as your focus was solely now on the girl in front of you.

her hands placed on the small on your back slightly pushing in to make your back arch as your chest pushed into her. as leah's hands soon made their way slowly to slide down you your ass as your tongues graze against each other.

"so pretty for me, my love" your heart jumps at her loving tone as you feel the blood rush to your cheeks, leah's words always having some sort of effect on you and always leaving you feeling flustered.

leah's eyes roam your figure as her hand traces absentmindedly, as if she planning her next attack on your body. the blonde noticing the way your breath hitched when her fingers sit on your pulse point on your neck.

leah rotating her hand so her fingers lie gently against it awaiting your reaction as she smirks watching as you squeeze your eyes shut, as your hands grip against the rim of the sink.

a small chuckle leaves leah's lips as she leans down to press her lips to your neck sucking harshly on your sweet spot. a string of little whimpers leave your pretty little lips as you tilt your head more to the side allowing leah to have more access.

"le, please do something" you beg, feeling her hand roam underneath your hoodie, grazing across your breasts.

"don't be impatient baby girl" she rasps against your ear, tugging down on it with her teeth as you feel your self squeeze your thighs together. hoping it will help you relieve some tension between her legs.

leah finally lifting your hoodie over your head as she throws to the ground of the pub bathroom. usually you would have felt embarrassed as you would feel your whole body want to cower aways but with leah, it felt different. it felt good, it felt right.

-

it was a typical saturday night, leah had her home match at the emirates on the sunday so she was taking advantage of her the small out of rest time she had. a small hum of the tv playing in the background as you watched it, but really all your mind could focus on was the fact leah’s fingers were combing through the ends of your hair.

you were lying wrapped in leah's arms on her couch as the tv played, leah focused on some insta reel on her phone. you head tucked on her chest as it heaved up and down, the wholesome of the interaction. it felt like it was meant to be — it felt real.

"le?" you whispered your head turning to look up at the blonde as a small hum left her lips, her phone lowering a little.

"where do you see yourself in a year?" you asked, it was something that played on your mind a lot, cause would you still be in some casual relationship with leah or would you have your own apartment and she’d show you off to her friends as something more.

you were more hoping for the second option, since the months had passed since you both promised out of breathe that there wouldn’t be any strings attached.

and boy oh boy had that changed, especially since your favourite bra lived in her dresser. it was pretty hard to be casual.

“cause maybe we’d be more and going on cute little dates in a cafe before you’d go off to training” you began as you sat up, you rambling on as your hands flew around with some enthusiasm making you miss the way leah’s face changed.

“and then when you come home i’d be there waiting, your dinner on the table-“ you paused as you looked down to see leah’s face, puzzled but also her eyes they told you a different emotion, not the same energy you had but it was sadness — more a sense of guilt.

“i- sorry i got ahead of myself” you mumbled as your back sunk into the back of her couch, the further side from her.

leah shook her head, and you were half expecting her to wrap you in a hug and kiss your cheek and tell you it was okay and that maybe she felt the same way.

but she didn’t.

"y/n, remember, we're not together-" leah cut straight to the point, her tone blunt as you felt your heart drop and your brows furrowing and a quickly developing pout spreading across your lips.

you let out a shaky breath as you nodded slowly, you understood. she had kept her side of the promise of no strings attached. “i- just thought maybe?” you said so quietly it only came out as a whisper as you fidgeted with your fingers.

looking up to see leah’s face it told you everything you needed to know. you’d only known the blonde for a several amount of months but you knew her well enough to know what her face was telling you without actually having to say the actual words.

“oh i get it” you scoffed slightly, choking back on the tears which pricked at your eyes. all it ever was going to be was casual.

leah’s opened her mouth but nothing came out as she sat herself up on the couch but before she could even attempt to reach out to you, you were up from the couch. slipping your shoes on your feet. you didn’t want to be in the same room as her.

“y/n- don’t” leah finally managed to get out as she followed your actions following you into her hallway which was littered with her football memorabilia from her glittering career. but you shook your head, her voice to painful to hear as you stopped with your back to her just before the front door.

"do you know what's actually quite funny-" you paused to let out a little chuckle as you stood mere metres from the door, as you looked up from your shoes spinning slightly so you faced her. leah stood her shoulders sunken as she tried to plead with you not to leave.

"i actually thought i meant something to you- but i guess that's just how little i actually meant to you" you sighed as tried to steady your breath, tears prickling at your eyes ready to fall at any moment.

"i- i was ready-" you paused as your words got stuck in your throat, leah reaching out for you as you took a step back. "i was ready to give you my everything" you admitted it coming out just a little louder than a whisper.

"y/n-"

“no leah, you’d made it clear how you feel” you spat out as you spun on your heal, leaving leah calling out your name but your ignored her, reaching for the door and hearing how it clicked shut behind you.

part of you was hoping she was going to rip her front door open and call after you and not stop until you were back in the warmth of her arms but the corridor in her apartment block was silent.

the other part of you hated yourself how long you had let it drag out for, but now you were free. she can go to hell.

stumbling through the street as your tears fell down your cheeks, tapping away at your phone until you found the contact you wanted, the dial drilling through your ear a few times before it got to voicemail.

you sighed as you heard the beep, "i cut her off, amelie."

[overtrred28]

Watch my shattered edges glisten| Leah Williamson x young!reader (platonic)

Summary; Being so good so young brings a lot of attention to you, especially when you make a simple mistake. Leah notices you struggling and helps you as you begin to crack under the pressure. Inspired by "Mirrorball" by my mother, Taylor Swift.

Pairings; Leah Williamson x young!reader (platonic), lionesses x reader (platonic)

Words; 2k

Warnings; sad, swearing, angst.

A/N; Is it too much to ask just to be comforted by Leah. Sorry about the sadness but it's so fun to write and play it out in my head. A little it rushed but I wanted to get something out and i'm off work sick so very clearly bored atm. Enjoy.

It was no secret that Leah felt a need to protect you and basically adopt you when you entered the senior team just a few months ago. You were quite young, like most of the other girls were when they got their first call ups, but there was a naivety and innocence to you that she felt the need to take you under her wing very quickly.

You had excelled very easily in the youth and U23 squads, becoming one of the best defenders for your age and following closely behind in the footsteps of the one and only Leah Williamson. So when you got that call from Sarina inviting you to your first senior camp, you were both excited and extremely nervous to be in the presence of your biggest inspirations.

There was a lot of press when your call up was publicly announced, people who had watched you in the younger squads cheering you on and other fans ready to see how you would fit within the senior team. A lot of the younger players in the squad were more than excited to hear of you finally moving up, most of you playing together and growing up together at national camps over the years. So there was no reason for you to worry about when arriving at St Georges park for the first time.

But the thought about being in an unfamiliar environment with new people and a new team still made you nervous. So it was understandable that you were quiet and reserved for the first day, still greeting everyone but unsure of where your place in the squad was just yet. The girls you had grown up with were lovely as always but it had been a few years since you were all together, so it was different. 

That's when Leah knew she had to make the effort and ensure your transition to the senior squad was smooth and easy, making you comfortable with the girls which would benefit your performance on the field.

"Hey, y/n!" A voice called out to you, making you turn your head to find the Leah Williamson waving you over to her table. You swallowed your nerves before walking over to her with your breakfast tray in your shaky hands. She shifted over to make a space for you between herself and Keira. That was the first and certainly not the last time Leah had made sure you felt welcome and  supported on the team. 

A few camps in and everyone was calling you a mini Leah, not that you minded. You and the older defender had a lot in common, making it easy to get along and create a sisterly bond quite easily. 

Despite being in a lower-ranked team of the WSL, many people already knew who you were and were ready to support you as you joined the senior squad. This helped with your nerves as you waited to sub on during your first national game, hearing the home crowd cheer as your number displayed beside Leah's.

"You've got this little one." Leah whispered as she hugged you, making your heart swell and your eyes roll at the nickname before you ran out and took her place on the field next to Millie and Lotte.

It's safe to say your run with the national team has been going quite well since your first game, finding yourself appearing in every match and even starting in the two in the previous camp.

Your impressive defensive skills and tactics had been noticed when you were on national duty and during regular matches, causing your agent to call you with many offers from many different clubs in the WSL and even other leagues. But there was one that stood out and would be a no-brainer to transfer during the January window, especially as a place to work on your skills ahead of the World Cup this summer.

So you officially left the club that started your professional career at 18 just three years ago and set off to North London, moving into Leah's flat; nice and close to the Colney.

It was in a friendly against Australia where you made a simple mistake that would impact you and your career so harshly, so quickly.

3 months out from the world cup and this one mistake almost cost you your spot in the World Cup squad... or so you were made to believe.

It was a simple mistake that plenty of players all over the world had made before; stepping out that little bit too much during a tackle and risking the player you were trying to mark, especially with the current weather conditions. That's all it took. But you knew the moment your studs hit Kyra's boot, your match was over.

The whistle was blown within seconds of her body hitting the floor and her grabbing onto her foot where your studs had accidently landed. You looked down to where her team was beginning to surround her, frozen in place until a hand on your shoulder shook you out of it and your head moved the ref who was reaching in her back pocket. The red card came into view and although you knew it was coming, your heart still sunk as she wrote your number on the back.

A few of the England girls began to start arguing with ref that it should have at least been a yellow, but you knew there was no point, anyone could see that it was a definite red and you were officially benched for the rest of the game and the next one coming. So with a hung head you walked off the field and over to the tunnel, the voices of your teammates and the disappointed home crowd blurring into the background, everything feeling as though it was in slow motion as the rain continued to fall.

"I'm sorry." You spoke to Sarina who silently nodded her head at you, both a sympathetic and disappointed look on her face as you passed by and walked down to the change room.

You sat down on the bench in front of your cubby and stared down at the boots that let down the team and left them a man down with 20 minutes still to go.

There was something bubbling in your chest that should have been anger at the situation but it was just bitter disappointment in yourself and that was ultimately worse. Water formed in your eyes and your throat began closing up as you bit back the tears that were trying to escape, but you couldn't let them.

You ended up showering and changing into your tracksuit as you waited for the match to end and what you presumed would be a lot of upset teammates ready to storm in and hurl their anger towards you. You curled up in your cubby, headphones on but no music playing, and closed your eyes as you waited.

You were so buried within yourself that you hadn't noticed all the girls coming in and spotting you making yourself so small, breaking all of their hearts as they could see how hard you were taking this.

It was Esme who eventually disturbed you, tapping your shoulder gently, silently nodding to the door of the once again empty changeroom after everyone began to leave for the bus.

She threw her arm around you, tucking you into her side as you walked out to the back and towards the bus where everyone was waiting. Once again you were left alone by the girls on the bus, they could see you were utterly disappointed and didn't want to accidentally make it worse. So although you were sat by yourself, you could feel 22 pairs of eyes on you every so often, but most intensely from a blonde captain further back on the bus.

It didn't take long for the press to have their say on the incident, immediately shaming you for your mistake and basically flushing your name and reputation down the toilet. So as you mindlessly scrolled through social media on the way back, your feed was filled with posts and comments about the incident. You knew better than to read what they wrote about you, but you couldn’t stop, obsessed with reading every article that featured your name. 

Most of the comments were the same, things like "how dangerous it really could have been" and that you were "young and reckless and irresponsible with your choices as a defender." Deep down you knew they were wrong about you but it was hard to fight through the voices saying they were right and that you were a bad footballer. 

Leah started to get worried when you were not only ignoring the other girls, but then you began distancing yourself upon returning home with her. You stayed in your room as much as you could and tried to stay away from Leah but it was hard when living in the same house. 

The night that you got back she barely heard from you, wanting to respect your privacy for as long as she could but when she heard your soft cries through the door she couldn’t ignore it any longer. 

“Y/N?” She knocked softly on the door, waiting for a response but you stayed quiet. “I’m coming in okay.” She gave a warning before opening the door softly, her eyes instantly finding you tucked into the covers facing away from the door. “Oh little one.” 

Her soft voice made a sob finally escape and you began properly breaking down for the first time. She hated seeing you like this, contrastingly different to the bubbly, mischievous person you were known to be. She crawled up under the covers, rolling you over and placing your head upon her chest.

“What can I do?” She began smoothing your hair with her fingers, she knew this is what came with becoming a footballer in the spotlight but she didn’t think it would get you this early in your career. 

“Just hold me please.” Your voice was soft and broken, trying to stop the images and words they were saying from spiralling in your mind. 

“None of what they say is true, I need you to know that.” Leah spoke again after a few minutes of silence, finally feeling your breathing slow and the tears stopping. “It was an accident and you know it, I know it, she knows it and they know it too.” She was referring to Kyra who you had already sent a message to, apologising for hurting her and the media who were riling up a story to fill their articles full of nonsense for more money.

“This does not change who you are as a person or a player, it happens to everyone and it will go away once they find something new to talk about. But you need to ignore them.” She continued, waiting for any kind of response. “Promise me you’ll ignore them.” Leah looked down at you, tapping your head as a signal to look up at her. 

“I promise.” You gave her a small smile while nodding. 

“Come on, let’s go eat some smileys.” She flung the covers off and pushed you up with a laugh, getting one out of you for the first time since it happened. 

“You have the pallet of a five year old.” You shook your head as you crawled out of your bed. 

“And what about it?” She wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you exited out to the kitchen, pressing a small kiss to your head as you walked together. 

It was at that moment you felt truly grateful for Leah and all she had given you since joining the Lionesses and Arsenal. She took you in and gave you an environment to thrive and be comfortable in a new place when she didn’t have any obligation to. But you would forever be in debt to her kindness and never reject anything she gave to you. 

[rana030]

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[milfneuer]